#and Sean is about to do it..just not with Patrick's tie

[annie-handholder]

American Psycho (Patrick's pov):

The Rules Of Attraction (Sean's pov)

[therogerclarkfanclub]

A new short film featuring Roger is in the works! You can check out the preview trailer below, however, Roger is not in this trailer.

Better Living... Through Thievery? • Directed by Dean C. Dusharme • Written by Dean C. Dusharme and Patrick A. Reilly

✨ CAST OF CHARACTERS

☆ Jim (Roger Clark)

Jim is the mid-40's, level-headed nephew of Sean and somewhat committed bank security guard (level-headed compared to Anne and Sean at least). He's frequently tested by the increasing stress of the situation. His primary goals are to help his sick fiancé Izzy with her medical costs and eventually afford to tie the knot. He has the strongest moral compass of the crew and brings very important knowledge to the bank job.

☆ Sean (Patrick A. Reilly)

Sean is played Patrick A. Reilly (and is also one of the writers). Sean, who is in his mid 60s, has to put up with his crazy ex-wife and gets dragged into the heist by the need to cover both of their medical bills. His Irish temper usually has him butting heads with his ex-wife Anne. He's got some locksmith skills that come in handy, and drinks a healthy amount of Twining's Earl Grey tea.

☆ Anne (Thea Sieban)

Anne is played by Thea. Anne (mid 60s) is the criminal mastermind who brings the caper idea to the table. She can be friendly and bakes great cookies, but she's also very smart and knows how to manipulate Jim and Sean into doing her bidding. Her emotions can get pretty fiery and she'll do whatever it takes to get the job done.

☆ Jack (John A. Holly)

Jack is played by John A. Holly. Jack (95) is Sean's uncle figure who suffers from advancing dementia. He can be both irritable and joyful, while also being naturally funny. He boasts about his exciting career in nude modeling. He also misses his long-deceased dad and often tries to get in touch with him, forgetting he's gone. Jack becomes a liability who they end up needing to bring along on the caper.

✨ The Story

"An unlikely heist crew of Sean, his ex-wife Anne, their nephew Jim and tech-savvy friend Mary perform a daring burglary of a local bank. They have to drag along Jack, Sean's adopted uncle, who has advancing dementia and a career in nude modeling at the ripe age of 95. Let's just say things get complicated with ol' Jack."

✨ The Heist

"Our characters develop and execute a heist plan that is unconventional compared to most caper movies. There are some of the common tropes like the computer hacker who assists them with security systems and the fact that something must go wrong somewhere along the way. What makes this heist story very unique though is how it's done by senior citizens for desperate reasons. They don't bring any guns, disguise themselves as exterminators and go in when the bank's closed just after sunrise on a Sunday morning. It's a smartly planned out burglary, not a reckless robbery. The main complication of the heist is not what most audience member's would expect, which helps to set our project apart from most other caper stories. I guess you'll have to watch the film to see exactly what goes down!"

✨ Social Commentary Value

"Our film is meant to come convey an important social commentary topic, being common issues with the medical system in the United States and how everyday people are forced to confront extremely costly bills. Problems with insurance, the pension system and other facets of medical care are to be alluded to and explored in this film. Each of the characters either has some kind of expensive illness or is helping someone who does. The serious tone brought about by characters with realistic problems and motivations is balanced with the absurd comedy of burglarizing a bank in the manner they do."

✨ The Film's Title

"Better Living… Through Thievery? is a play on an old advertising slogan originating from DuPont, a multinational chemical company, which often reads "Better Things for Better Living… Through Chemistry." The "Through Chemistry" part is replaced with "Through Thievery?" to humorously point out how not only are the characters trying to find quality of life through their medications, treatments and other forms of chemistry, as it pertains the original meaning, but also how they decide a venture into theft is necessary to pay for their essentials. The phrase now sarcastically becomes about the "unbridled optimism" surrounding crime and theft and the ability it has to sort out human dilemmas."

And lastly, there is no obligation whatsoever, but if you are able to spare a donation for the film's production, you can do so below. There are different tiers and they all come with different perks, so you'll be getting something in return for your donation.

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

just got back from seeing Nefarious. I can tell you one thing: Christian movies are getting better and bolder. However

I don’t think I went in with a proper idea of the target audience, which makes me wonder if the creators knew what they were doing when they marketed it.

Is this movie made for Christians who know what time it is culturally and politically? No. Most of the intellectual and value content in this movie will be very familiar to such a Christian. The stuff it’s trying to make you think about will already be at the forefront of such Christians’ minds.

Is this movie made for horror fans or psychological thriller fans? No. The focus is not on scaring you or keeping you at the edge of your seat. It’s a chiefly dialogic film, almost Socratic. That said, it does a decent job of setting the bleak tone; I just wished—as a horror/thriller fan—the tone had been darker and more intense. And maybe it could have used some sort of visual thread to tie all the scenes to a shared visual language, especially in the final segment. My biggest grievance overall was with the final segment.

So who is this movie made for?

I think it’s made for two types of people:

1. The Christian (or church) who has been a passive participant in society. Who has not been keeping astride of the cultural or political currents, and who’s never really thought very hard about demons and may be laboring under a false impression of what demons are like, whether they interact with us, or whether they exist at all. (Though this is not a wholesale endorsement of Nefarious’ demonology.)

2. The secular conservative who does keep astride of the currents, but has a materialist worldview that denies the existence of the spiritual and metaphysical forces undergirding them.

As for some of the less important aspects of the movie, strengths are as follows:

ACTING. Most of the praise is being directed at Sean Patrick Flanery, who was certainly good as the titular character, but I thought Jordan Belfi’s more understated performance as the psychiatrist was fantastic. There was one particular scene toward the end where his expression gave me goosebumps.

SFX. Very sparse and definitely played to the genre, but with none of the flaws I’ve come to expect from Christian films, especially where it counted.

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

How about 24 & 26 with Darren 🤓

Buttons (Darren x Jeanie)

Warnings: language, sexual tension, teasing, mention of guns and some angst

A/N: Nothing's been the same since the night Darren came to Jeanie's hotel room. Now Jeanie hopes, with some help, she can set the stage to change his future. This stems from the intimacy prompts 24. Teasing and 26. play fighting It takes place between episodes 1 & 2 of Love/Hate Season 3.

“Darren, stop!” there's laughter in her voice. “I'll be late! Ewan and Laura are already suspicious.”

“I’m just curious why you're wearing t’ese fishnets with holes in ‘em?” He reaches out from the bed to slip his fingers inside the netted fabric on the back of Jeanie's thigh.

“You're Irish and never heard of The Pogues or Flogging Molly?” Jeanie swats at the hand on her leg. “It's part of my punk rock Saint Paddy’s Day look.”

She turns back to the mirror and braids her hair into pigtails. She's wearing an emerald green pleated skirt, a white button down dress shirt and a black corset, and a green and black plaid tie. Her ass-kicker boots were in Darren’s living room where he pulled them off of Jeanie as he knelt between her thighs on the couch.

Now Darren stretches his long arm to slap his lover’s ass. She jolts and giggles as her braid comes undone. A smirk plays across her lips as she dodges him, but Darren isn't going for it again. He gets his hand under her skirt to knead the fabric of her tights and panties.

Jeanie momentarily pauses so she can remember to breathe. Darren catches her off guard. She clutches his wrist to press him further. He bites the inside of his cheek which causes it to dimple in concentration. His fingers work up a friction.

Then, like a jolt, Jeanie twists Darren’s wrist away from the ache in her sex. She contorts his entire arm to bend back towards the bed and her body leans with it. Her face dangerously close to his while she's got him weirdly trapped.

“Not. Now!” There’s authority in Jeanie's voice, but he knows he can persuade her.

Darren smiles. It's rare, and Jeanie’s not sure if there's any real feeling behind it. She knows his friend Ado is in hospital, and refuses to think about the car bombing outside of a pub the other night. Maybe she was a danger junkie, but Jeanie found herself forgiving much more of Darren’s lifestyle than Rosie.

It was that peril she felt as the tables turned. Suddenly, he spins her around. Jeanie's arm is bent up behind her back; Darren loses his face in her hair. He got to his knees on the mattress behind her. Then he picks Jeanie up his arms, clambors to his feet and throws her back on the bed.

Jeanie responds with a delighted squeal as Darren climbs on top of her. He pins her wrists above her head with both of his hands, legs on either side of Jeanie's hips. He refuses to hide how turned on he is in this moment, so he undulates his body. His erection pushes into Jeanie's leg.

“I don't want us t’go out. I want t’hide in my gaff with ye and get our kit off.” Darren lowers his mouth to Jeanie's neck. She moans just a little. “You Americans and your weird love for Saint Patrick’s Day.” He tries to kiss her.

Instead, Jeanie ducks out of the way. She wraps her legs around Darren's waist and squeezes. Her thighs form a vice grip on his body that causes him to wince in shock more than pain. She goes even harder; he lets go of her wrists to sit up on his haunches. Jeanie never slacks as mischief crosses Darren's face.

“That's our only rule, Dazz. No kissing on the mouth. It's too personal.”

Jeanie raises herself off the bed just enough to grab onto his arms. In one fell swoop Darren's on his back, Jeanie's on top of him with her nails deep in the slight muscles on his chest. He manages to slap her on the ass again; she chews her lips to hide any pleasure in it.

“Jaysus, love, I just want t’fuck. I'll pay Ewan for th’ticket. No Tommy. No Siobhan. No Trish or Nidge or Laura.” Darren's pelvis lifts the both upwards, “My cock in ye all night.” He wags his eyebrows.

Jeanie thinks. They come to Dublin every year for this concert. Darren's tempting, even with his stupid haircut. She'll forgive him that too. But she's been neglecting her actual friends. Ewan flew out especially for her, and it wasn't like she and Darren were being public. That was the point of an affair, to have secrets. Even if it was the worst kept one.

Jeanie opened her mouth, "There once was a lad from Dublin.. Who's shagging the wife of his cousin.." She pauses to bite her bottom lip. The gears are churning in Jeanie's brain. "Crikey did she like t'fuck. It was pure Irish luck for that lad from Dublin"

Darren laughs. It's true laughter for once. "Hate t'break it to ya love, but we only moved here when I turned 16." He twirls a finger around one of her braids while his other hand runs up and down her spine.

"YOU be horny and rhyme something with Portlaoise! Never mind. You'll say something about being a beast when you're built like Lumiere"

“A FUCKING CANDLE STICK?!”

Then there's a loud pounding on Darren's door. It startles the both of them, but not enough to keep him from catching Jeanie off guard. He gets his arms around her, hops out of bed and throws Jeanie over his shoulder. For the third time, Dazz slaps her on the ass. Harder than the rest but let's out a maniacal laugh as he carries her into the living room. He puts something in the waistband of his sweatpants, and Jeanie knows it's a gun.

“You gonna use my ass as a shield if they shoot first?!” She's nervous and admittedly, turned on.

Darren sunk his grip into the thick of Jeanie as he hesitated towards the foyer. “Yeah?!” He called out.

“It's Tommy, ye prick! Open up.”

Dazz relaxes and lets Jeanie slide to the floor as he opens up on Tommy. He's standing with an envelope in his hand which he holds out to Jeanie, not his friend. It looks official. Like, legally official. There's also a smaller card tucked in the top.

“Who the hell knows I'm here?”

“Darling, we all know ye two are shagging. Treacy’s been happy. No offense, but it has t’be the snatch. Or head pills.”

Jeanie stares at her mail but she opens the big envelope anyways. “Power of the pussy, lads!”

Darren pinches her this time instead of a slap.

“What the fuck?” Jeanie laughs. She's not sure what's gotten into Darren. Full moon? Xanax? Cocaine? They never mention the latter.

“You’re not Catholic! You can't wear green!”

“I Was SO! Had communion and everything. ” She yells over her shoulder while pulling out a stack of papers and massaging her sore skin through the sh. It takes her breath away; her entire demeanor changes.

“What's with the rapid mood change with all our women?” Tommy asks.

Jeanie sighs and holds the papers up to Darren. “There once was a Scottish lass, whose husband was an ass. He asked for a divorce, mentioning infidelity of course. Boy did that happen fast.”

“Tommy and I don't have t’go with Siobhan n Trish. We can take a side trip t’the University.”

“No! Why don't we all meet up after the concert? All of us? I haven't seen either since they had kids. Then maybe we can play a game.”

Jeanie tries to sound seductive. She has Darren's palm facing upwards in her grasp. She traces her fingers along the lines before kissing it.

Darren relaxes and clips her chin, “Sure. Come to my mate’s pub after the show.”

“I better go. I'll be late.”

They kiss and part ways. Jeanie never mentions that the card is in her handwriting.

Jeanie,

Whatever you do. Please don't let Darren, Tommy and Siobhan be anywhere with Nidge and that IRA bastard tonight. Please. Trust me. Play a game. Catch me if you can. Here's a list of places to go. I'll be texting them to Dazz too, playing along.

Trust me,

You

Tag list: @robertsheehanownsmyass @super-unpredictable98 @sean-falco @magic-multicolored-miracle @badsext @crisis-of-joy @slutforrobbiebro @nightmonsters @firstpersonnarrator @rob-private

[bklynpigskin]

COVID Week 13 - NFC East

COVID, COVID, COVID...

Miraculously, NFL protocols have held and, to this point, all games have been played with few postponements. Notably, Cam Newton’s comeback season with the Patriots started off well, until it went into a skid after missing a couple of games with COVID. I like Cam Newton. He’s an amazing athlete. Judgement, not so much. His drop off after the illness may be because of lasting effects we don’t yet understand. Lamar Jackson, coming off one of the most awesome regular seasons in the history of the league, also missed a game with a major outbreak that sidelined many Ravens starters. 

But this post is about the NFC East (AFC East up next). You would expect teams to struggle with new head coaches, in particular with an irregular and short pre-season. And, you would be correct. For its past sins, the NFC East has three new HCs in Mike McCarthy, “Riverboat” Ron Rivera, and Joe Judge. You would also expect the most experienced HCs to do better. And, you would be wrong. 

The Cowboys have so much talent, especially on offense, it’s almost frightening. The D has it’s share of stars in Demarcus Lawrence, Jaylon Smith, Vander Esch, the injury prone Sean Lee, and rookie Trevon Diggs, to name a few. Well, they would be frightening if not for the fact that they can’t stop the run, struggle against the deep ball, can’t throw the ball much, and my favorite NFL running back Zeke Elliot...let’s just say he’s the most highly overpaid player in the NFL. Bucking the trend, Jerry Jones coughed up big bucks for Elliot, only to see his production drop with attrition in the O-line, and quibbled with his QB. Poor Dak Prescott. We all with him well and a speedy recovery, which looks on track. 

Washington won in HC roulette this offseason, picking up Ron Rivera after a dysfunctional, unceremonious departure from Carolina. After a to be expected rough start, Rivera seems to have turned his new team in the right direction. After ditching Dwayne Haskins (15th overall pick in 2019), Rivera landed on comeback player of the year, Alex Smith. He suffered a grueling injury in 2018, the same injury that ended Joe Theismann’s career on the same field 33 years later to the date. His struggle to come back is a testament to willpower, perseverance, an character. Alex also implemented a game plan that unseated the 11-win, undefeated Pittsburg Steelers. THAT is a statement win if I’ve ever seen one, and Washington is second in the conference at 5-7. It is still the NFC East after all.

That brings us to rookie head coach Joe Judge and the New York football Giants. Four straight wins and their own statement win over the Seahawks, Patrick Graham’s very young defense is firing on all cylinders. The Giants held Seattle to just 12 points with Russel Wilson cookin’ along side sensation DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett. The win is particularly impressive with Daniel Jones sidelined and backup Colt McCoy getting the start and his first win since 2016. The Giants sit majestically on top of the NFC East, ready to do some damage in the playoffs, with an impressive 5-7 record...and the tie break over Washington. It’s time to pop the champagne, or at least place that bottle of Andre on ice. 

That brings me to the beloved Philadelphia Eagles, at home in the city of brotherly love, with an established and successful coaching staff under Doug Pederson and DC Jim Schwarz. I love football, and I don’t hate any NFL team or their fans. And, I love Carson Wenz. So much so that I wished the Rams had picked him number one overall, recognizing that the Eagles would break him. I’ve always said that the Eagles are the only NFL team anyone is allowed to hate, because their own fans hate the team more than you possibly could. 

This brings me to one story in particular, and there are plenty of others I could tell. Last January, I was skiing in Colorado when I sat down on a lift with a lovely women my age and her two children in their early teens, or so I thought. A playoff Sunday, I asked whether everyone was as excited about the games as I was. The lady answered politely that her Broncos were out and she wouldn’t be watching. While puzzling over her response unable to comprehend why that would matter, she asked me about my team. I answered just as politely that I was a football fan in general, but that the Giants had a special place in my heart. At that point the boy on the lift with us chimed in with “Eli Manning sucks!” I asked which QB the boy preferred, already knowing what the response would be: “Carson Wenz!” I asked the youth politely, whether he was an Eagles fan, to which he responded in the affirmative. I informed the boy that Eli Manning had twice as many Super Bowl MVPs as his franchise had Super Bowl victories. I also noted that Carson Wenz had spent considerable time on the sidelines due to injury and that this may not bode well for his career. The boy simply responded that Eli Manning still sucked. I confirmed with the lady that these were in fact not her children, and explained to her that Eagles fans were particularly difficult. She chuckled, as I said to her: “watch this.” The ensuing dialogue went as follows:

Me: What do you think of Andy Reid?

Andy Reid SUCKS!

You do realize that Andy Reid is the winningest head coach in Eagles history and has resurrected the Chiefs. What do you think of Donovan McNabb?

Donovan McNabb SUCKS!

You do realize that Donovan McNabb is the winningest QB in your franchise history. What to you think of DeSean Jackson?

DeSean Jackson SUCKS! (apparently unable to make a statement without pronouncing that whatever he was talking about SUCKED)

I turned to the wonderfully patient lady sitting next to me and said “you see?”

She turned to the young Eagles fan and asked his age. 14 was the answer. At which point she turned to me and pronounced “they start ‘em out young, don’t they? True story. 

Not even 12 months later, Eagles fans are calling the Wenz pick the worst ever and screaming for rookie Jalen Hurst, who lead a number of drives on Sunday. Never mind an offensive line that has seen more changes this season than the Trump cabinet. Never mind the ensuing non-existent running game and pass protection. Never mind a receiving corps that has dropped more balls than the Trump cabinet. Wenz is at fault for everything. One thing is true: the Eagles truly do suck.

Not as analytical as I am normally, but more humorous in these COVID times.

[thanagariansnarebeast]

Top 15 favorite video games: part 2.

7. Bioshock

I remember first reading about this game in the pages of Game Informer and being fascinated by the story and the environment of what was described. I had no idea how good it was until I launched up the game and finally took that first decent into Rapture. The claustrophobic environment, visual aesthetic of a dilapidated dystopia and the enemies being remnants of once good people were all an amazing experience. The story and characters were amazing, and the idea of an underwater city built to try and be free of any ideology or morality was fascinating, and finding out exactly how the city fell apart and collapsed under its own “greatness” was a very unique experience.

6. God of War (PS2)

This game was a birthday present when I was 15 and I loved it, I love Greek mythology and I love action games, so this was an amazing gift. The opening of the game is one of the best I’ve ever played, and the boss fights are some of my all time favorites. The music in this game is incredible, and I love the accurate representation of the Greek gods being complete fucking assholes and ruining lives because they just don’t care. Kratos is a great anti-hero (or villain, ether one is fair) and the Blades of Chaos are a really unique video game weapon. The sequels are amazing but this one holds a special place in my heart.

5.   Devil May Cry 3

Another birthday present, this one from the year before, this game was a very interesting experience for me; I’d never seen such a difficult game, or one so anime inspired. This game oozes goofy, over the top fun and demon slaying is always fun. The combos and weapons in the game are fantastic, and the story might be a big generic; but the game never takes itself seriously enough for that to be an issue. The characters in the game are great and Dante and Virgil being brothers who are enemies is a fun dynamic. This game also has some fantastic boss fights they really make you have to master your timings and attacks.

4. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

I fucking love Star Wars, I fucking love RPGs, and I fucking love good stories and characters; and this game has all of that. The story of this game is one of my favorites in anything, not just video games but all media, and the Revan twist is something that I didn’t see coming and really blew me away the first time I played this game. I’ve probably played through the story 7 or so times and I still love it, Bioware is at its best here and the character interactions and your decisions effecting everything in the game and you being able to ruin entire planets with your decisions really makes you feel like what you are doing is important to the galaxy. HK 47 calling everyone a “meatbag” is endlessly hilarious, and might be the first sassy Star Wars robot. I was at a con recently and got an autograph of Jennifer Hale (Bastila Shan) and its something very special to me in large part because of this game.

3. Mortal Kombat (2009)

Mortal Kombat 9 was such an amazing experience when it first came out. The past 5 Mortal Kombat games had been 3D, and had really suffered in quality because of it. The stories and characters had become terrible and the franchise was dying. Then came Mortal Kombat 9, or just Mortal Kombat as its actually called. The first 2D game in the franchise since the good old days of UMK3 and Mortal Kombat Trilogy, it was a reboot of the franchise that still used everything that had come before to set up the story. Knowing the old games was a benefit to the twists and turns of the story and altered timeline, but not essential to it. This was also the re-invigoration of the tournament scene for the MK games, which was a very welcome return. The roster of this game is damn near perfect, with the dlc adding an old favorite, the only good character from Deadly Alliance, Freddy motherfucking Kreuger, a new character that was a lot of fun, and I had the PS3 version so I also had Kratos which was awesome. Everything in this game represented a return to form and a new beginning for a franchise that desperately needed it. Mortal Kombat X and 11 have both been fantastic as well, but I chose 9 because of not just it being a fantastic game, but what it did for the series.

2. Dark Souls

I love dark fantasy and I love armor and weapons in video games, and this game has that as well as fantastic combat, and some amazing gothic horror as well. The bosses in this game are some of the best in any game and the game may be punishingly difficult, but the feeling of accomplishment when you finally get over some massive hurdle you were stuck on or finally slay a powerful boss that had been using your body as a punching bag is so incredibly satisfying. The sad state of the world in this game is also refreshing, instead of being some amazing savior sent to kill the big bad fucking up the world; your goal is ether to prolong the dying world for a little while longer, or end it and start something new. Killing gods that have been corrupted and used to be heroic adds a tragic twist to fighting bosses and makes killing them bitter sweet. I absolutely adore how you can make different characters and create builds around certain spells and weapons and I really wish more games would incorporate systems like that, even if they aren’t exactly balanced in any Dark Souls game. I also love how when you get past the opening area you can pretty much go where ever you want, the level design is almost perfect, with every location being somewhat connected to the next, often times looping in on each other.

2. (tie) Dragon Age: Origins

The second Bioware game on this list, it has all the roleplaying and great character writing of KotOR and more, a deep universe that they created; this game was in development for a long time to create a rich lore and new twist on fantasy tropes. The world really feels fleshed out and the characters feel like real people, with issues and hang ups and oddities that make them not just archetypes like most games have. Making decisions that effect characters and your companions can often be tough because you really care about what happens to them and how they feel, and how the world sees you. The gameplay isn’t perfect, its an odd mix of turn based and real time, but it still works pretty well. I put Dark Souls and Dragon Age in the same spot because I love them both for the same yet opposite reasons, if someone could take the roleplaying and world building of Dragon Age and combine it with the stats and combat and boss fights of Dark Souls it would create the perfect game for me.

1. The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion

I absolutely loved playing this game when it first came out, and I really wish I could get it to work on my PC so I could relive the glory that is this game. Skyrim is probably the more obvious pick for most people, but Oblivion was my first Elder Scrolls and first Bethesda game; and Oblivion has better rpg mechanics and a better story in my humble opinion. I love the Dark Brotherhood questline in this game more than any other questline in any game ever, its so fucking good. The game looks like shit graphically now, but back when it came out it was gorgeous, and I remember the first time I played it on an HD tv I was blown away. The rich world and the big name actors being in it was a real treat, and having Sir Patrick Stewart play the king really gave that character the gravitas and importance that was needed to establish a character quickly. Sean Bean being his son was also fantastic, and brings this list pretty much full circle because of him being in Goldeneye. The armor and weapon designs are really good for the most part, and I love collecting all the Daedric artifacts and creating havoc with them. I still get excited when I hear the music from this game, and its orchestral quality really adds to the epic feeling of the game. There’s no one stealing sweet rolls or arrows to the knee in this one ether.

There are a lot of other games that I love and that were hard to leave off this list, but its pretty long as it is; and I’m sure eventually new games will take the place of some of these.

[beanarie]

for the TV Show Ask Game: 3, 50, 51

also including questions from @sickrey3, @kshaar, and @katherinebarlow thank you!

2. if you could have saved one TV show from cancellation, which one would it be? my so-called life, like, a million times. it was the only prime-time drama that spoke to my existence at the time and losing it so soon affected my choice of media for years afterward. i’m still so bitter.

3. have you ever quit a show before it finished? why? i quit things like it's my job. fuck them if they're not entertaining me anymore. shits not worth it. the big one, which took me years, was elementary. i watched fewer eps per season until i realized i didn't wanna come back anymore. they just don't care about joan and marcus as much as i wish they did. (edit: i wrote this answer weeks ago just before leaving on vacation and now i have to admit i did watch the final three eps. they were okay. it was a good place to leave them.)

11. which TV show has the best musical soundtrack, in your opinion? this is limited to shows that i paid enough attention to that i got to know the soundtrack--very small sample size ftr--but skins had some great music. also steven universe is wooonderful.

16. do you feel like there are any underrated TV show formats? not really underrated at all but i am a sucker for shows set in quirky small towns or insular communities where there's a constant undercurrent of shenanigans, like letterkenny, northern exposure, picket fences, schitt's creek, and community

24. how do you feel about bottle episodes? amazing, fantastic, groundbreaking. giving the plot a break often leads to the most interesting character development

26. favourite TV show theme song? tie: black sails and orange is the new black

28. who would be your dream cameo on your favourite show? ooh, basically every lgbtq actor on doom patrol. a short, non inclusive list: laverne cox, candis cayne, briana hildebrand, eddie izzard, angelica ross, fiona shaw, russell tovey, victor garber, wentworth miller, billy porter, sean maher, patricia velasquez, holland taylor, sarah paulson, shannon purser, jamie clayton, jen richards, saffron burrows, maria bello, and definitely neil patrick harris, nathan lane, billy eichner, etc.

35. who are your top 5 TV characters right now? rita farr (doom patrol), dean fogg (the magicians), clive babineaux (izombie), john silver (black sails), david rose (schitt's creek)

50. what’s one TV cliche you love? groundhog day episodes!!!! i die when the trapped character finally gives in to despair, like, just totally breaks, and suddenly dawn breaks and they get this tiny reason to hope that things will be okay

51. what’s one TV cliche you despise? pointless het drama. leverage is the only show i can think of that kept their couples apart for reasons explicitly tied to the woman's character development rather than "oh it's the second tuesday of the month so we're having a massive blowout then breaking up until right before the winter finale! in three breakups, we'll make up by getting engaged and we'll only split a couple more times after that! true love!"

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 16 September 2019

Quick Bits:

Absolute Carnage #3 has more glorious artwork from Ryan Stegman, JP Mayer, and Frank Martin. Even if it weren’t part of a fun story serving as the focal point of all of the various different tie-ins and the horrors of Carnage’s current push, this is a sheer visual treat.

| Published by Marvel

Aquaman #52 is a big fight with a weird tentacle monster. Great action here from Robson Rocha, Daniel Henriques, and Sunny Gho. Plus some more on Black Manta and a surprise appearance as a cliffhanger. There’s something more going on.

| Published by DC Comics

Archie ‘55 #1 is the start of another wonderful reinterpretation of Archie in a different time period, from Brian Augustyn, Mark Waid, Tom Grummett, Glenn Whitmore, and Jack Morelli. This one goes into the burgeoning rock music scene, playing up Archie’s love for music, more akin to what we’ve seen before in many Archie comics than Archie ‘41 did. It’s great to see even more art from Grummett.

| Published by Archie Comics

Batman #79 continues Bruce’s rehabilitation and recovery from his beating. Tom King, Clay Mann, Seth Mann, Tomeu Morey, and Clayton Cowles have done a wonderful job during this kind of interlude within the “City of Bane” arc, really grounding the Bruce & Selina relationship, rebuilding it even as Bruce rebuilds himself.

| Published by DC Comics

Black Hammer: Age of Doom #12 concludes this volume of the main Black Hammer narrative from Jeff Lemire, Dean Ormston, Dave Stewart, and Todd Klein. There’s an interesting bit here about family and sacrifice as the team comes to terms with what they have to do in order to stop the Anti-God this time around. Also, it’s interesting to see Lex Luthor and Clark Kent as a couple.

| Published by Dark Horse

Black Panther & The Agents of Wakanda #1 is a great debut from Jim Zub, Lan Medina, Marcio Menyz, and Joe Sabino. This is an outgrowth from the recent Avengers volume and it’s neat to see them acting as an actual team. Interesting mix of personalities, gorgeous artwork, and a very surprising return.

| Published by Marvel

Blade Runner 2019 #3 takes an few interesting turns as Ash is fired from her job with the police and we get some revelations about Selwyn’s wife and daughter. The action from Andres Guinaldo and Marco Lesko is really well done here.

| Published by Titan

Bloodborne #15 pushes further the sanity of our protagonist here, showing time and reality seemingly breaking as he’s immersed further into the insanity of the world and comes to the realization of the horrors that he’s committed. This continues to be a very surreal experience from Aleš Kot, Piotr Kowalski, Brad Simpson, and Aditya Bidikar with some interconnectivity to the hunters we’ve seen previously.

| Published by Titan

Critical Role: Vox Machina - Origins Series II #3 revels in more wonderful humour as the party tries to figure out the nature of the curse afflicting Grog. Matthew Mercer, Jody House, Olivia Samson, Msassyk, and Ariana Maher manage to give this a bit of the feel of the Conan story “The Tower of the Elephant” as they infiltrate a wizard’s tower. But with more gnome tossing.

| Published by Dark Horse

Death’s Head #3 might just be setting up some of the seeds for Incoming in amongst the action with Death’s Head, Wiccan, Hulkling, and Hawkeye. Either way, this is another fun issue from Tini Howard, Kei Zama, Felipe Sobreiro, and Travis Lanham.

| Published by Marvel

Excellence #5 introduces us to Monique, as she’s allowed use of magic by Spencer’s father in contravention of the rules lain out. It’s interesting to see this breech and how it’s handled, with Brandon Thomas, Khary Randolph, Emilio Lopez, and Deron Bennett adding a new complication to the mix.

| Published by Image / Skybound

GI Joe #1 is a great new take on the property from Paul Allor, Chris Evenhuis, Brittany Peer, and Neil Uyetake. It casts the Joes as an underground government movement within an America that is under siege, and possibly about to lose, to Cobra. How different this is becomes apparent in the first half of the book. I love the art from Evenhuis and Peer. 

| Published by IDW

Guardians of the Galaxy #9 has some rather shocking revelations about who the remaining free Guardians are searching out for help and of who is ultimately the saviour of the Universal Church of Truth. All while seeing another potential future with the universe decimated. Donny Cates, Cory Smith, Victor Olazaba, David Curiel, and Cory Petit are firing on all cylinders here.

| Published by Marvel

Hellboy and the BPRD: Saturn Returns #2 continues this wonderful tale that helps reinvent the format of the broader Hellboy and the BPRD series, crossing through different time periods on this case, and incorporating some very nice character development for Liz. Mike Mignola, Chris Roberson, Christopher Mitten, Brennan Wagner, and Clem Robins are making this a must read.

| Published by Dark Horse

Inferior Five #1 is a rather strange debut from Jeff Lemire, Keith Giffen, Michelle Delecki, Hi-Fi, and Rob Leigh. For one, it’s set in the past (not weird in itself, but setting it in ‘88 takes it outside the current sliding timescale). Two, it spins out of DC’s Invasion event from that time period. And three, the reinterpretation of the Inferior Five so far is very understated. They’re not the familiar reject heroes, but rather nondescript kids in a town where something screwy seems to be going on. There’s also a Peacemaker back-up from Lemire, José Villarrubia, and Leigh that further adds to the mystery of what’s going on here.

| Published by DC Comics

Justice League #32 turns the “Justice/Doom War” up another notch as the League fights on multiple fronts, including a past where they’ve found the Justice Society and the future where the Justice Legion A have become pawns of Brainiac. Scott Snyder, James Tynion IV, Howard Porter, Hi-Fi, and Tom Napolitano are nicely weaving in though-forgotten and erased by Flashpoint character of DCU history here.

| Published by DC Comics

Killers #3 pushes even more intense and thrilling action at us from B. Clay Moore, Fernando Dagnino, José Villarrubia, and Jeff Powell. How varied and in many cases disturbing the various agents within the Ninja Programme is interesting. Each of them seemingly making Colin King look downright sane and “normal”.

| Published by Valiant

Lex Luthor: Year of the Villain #1 is a curious tour of the multiverse, visiting various Luthors across time and space, from Jason Latour, Bryan Hitch, Andrew Currie, Tomeu Morey, and Tom Napolitano. While it’s interesting to see the various permutations, the point of the story only becomes apparent at the end.

| Published by DC Comics

Middlewest #11 sees Abel throw a temper tantrum after his disastrous meeting with his grandfather, taking it out of Fox and causing a division of their friendship. Naturally, this results in bad things. Skottie Young, Jorge Corona, Jean-Francois Beaulieu, and Nate Piekos continue to work magic with this story, fleshing out the world even further with a child labour kidnapping ring.

| Published by Image

Once & Future #2 carries on with this reinterpretation of the King Arthur myth, mixing in horror and extreme little England ideologies, for an incredible second issue from Kieron Gillen, Dan Mora, Tamra Bonvillain, and Ed Dukeshire. The dynamic between Duncan and his grandmother is also wonderful, great bits of humour as she tries “delicately” to get him to navigate this world.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Outpost Zero #13 is something else. Sean Kelley McKeever, Alexandre Tefenkgi, Jean-Francois Beaulieu, and Ariana Maher deliver an impressive and surprising penultimate issue that helps turn the world upside down. Gorgeous art from Tefenkgi and Beaulieu.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Psi-Lords #4 is kind of the big one as we find out who the four are and what their full purpose was. It’s very well told. Fred Van Lente, Renato Guedes, and Dave Sharpe are crafting an intriguing story here.

| Published by Valiant

Rick & Morty vs. Dungeons & Dragons II: Painscape #1 kicks off a sequel to what was one of the most fun Rick & Morty and D&D stories I’ve read in some time, perfectly mixing the two properties in an inventive way, from the returning team of Jim Zub, Troy Little, and Leonardo Ito, this time joined by Crank! for the letters and down one Patrick Rothfuss as a co-writer. It’s still excellent. There’s an interesting premise here of how the world has been infected with a D&D addiction and how it all ultimately ties back to Rick.

| Published by Oni Press & IDW

Rumble #16 gives us three stories from John Arcudi and Joe Sabino, illustrated each by Alex Horley, Matej Stic & Dave Stewart, and Gerardo Zaffino & Stewart. It’s glorious. Really nice exploration of Rathraq’s own time in the stories from Horley and Zaffino, delivering some beautiful and detailed adventure art.

| Published by Image

Savage Sword of Conan #9 concludes “Conan the Gambler” from Jim Zub, Patch Zircher, Java Tartaglia, and Travis Lanham. It’s pretty damn good. With a pit fight and a surprise revelation about what this really was. Beautiful, bloody art from Zircher and Tartaglia that really emphasizes the brutality in the action.

| Published by Marvel

Star Wars: Age of Resistance - Rose Tico #1 gives us a look at the fate of Hays Minor through the lives of Rose and Paige Tico, again from the team of Tom Taylor, Ramon Rosanas, Guru-eFX, and Travis Lanham. Some nice character development here as well as a parallel with Leia.

| Published by Marvel

Steeple #1 kicks off a bit of a weird one from John Allison, Sarah Stern, and Jim Campbell. It’s wonderful to see Allison doing more art again here as we’re introduced to a seaside town being threatened to be dragged into the sea by the minions of Satan, protected only by a surly parish priest, his dour assistant, and a plucky curate sent to help.

| Published by Dark Horse

Strayed #2 is a bit heartbreaking as humanity continues to exploit Lou’s astral travel to reach out and destroy new civilizations. It’s rather horrifying as to how truly awful human expansion is here, Carlos Giffoni, Juan Doe, and Matt Krotzer go to some lengths as to exploring their cruelty and depravity, committing countless genocides. And for poor Lou too.

| Published by Dark Horse

Supergirl #34 jumps head first into the ongoing narratives of “Year of the Villain” and Event Leviathan now that Kara is back on Earth. It’s interesting as to how quickly and seamlessly the story picks up the various threads of Luthor’s offer and the disappearance of Kara’s adoptive parents without skipping a beat. Great art from Eduardo Pansica, Julio Ferreira, and FCO Plascencia.

| Published by DC Comics

Superman #15 continues the conclusion to the “Unity Saga” with more from the Legion of Super-Heroes and a decision for the fate of Jor-El. Given that we’re now at part 15 of this arc and really 21 of the entire story, it feels a little rushed as to what occurs for Jor-El. 

| Published by DC Comics

Teen Titans #34 pushes everybody’s buttons and Damian is basically a jerk to everyone while trying to find out who stole Djinn’s ring. It’s interesting how Adam Glass, Bernard Chang, Marcelo Maiolo, and Rob Leigh are guiding this team to a place where it’s anyone’s guess as to why they’re still together.

| Published by DC Comics

Valkyrie #3 reveals that Jane has a talking horse. Yeah, he talks. Not just flies, talks. And he likes to be called Mr. Horse because he’s fancy. A talking horse. This series has me for life. Oh, also, there’s an interesting trip through many of the less used Marvel afterlives, mostly told in double-page spreads from a bevy of phenomenal artists in CAFU, Ramón Pérez, Cian Tormey, Roberto Poggi, Frazer Irving, and Jesus Aburtov. Did I mention there’s a talking horse?

| Published by Marvel

Vampirella #3 deals with Vampirella’s mommy issues. Priest, Ergün Gündüz, and Willie Schubert give us more family problems, while giving new context to Vampirella’s arrival on Earth and the genesis of vampires here.

| Published by Dynamite

The Weatherman vol. 2 #4 sees things get even more complicated as more impediments get thrown in the way and Nathan does a stupid thing. Again. And again. It really is a wonder that he’s stayed alive as long as he has. Jody LeHeup, Nathan Fox, Moreno Dinisio, and Steve Wands continue to work wonders with this series.

| Published by Image

You Are Obsolete #1 is a fascinating debut from Mathew Klickstein, Evgeniy Bornyakov, Lauren Affe, and Simon Bowland. It has hints of The Midwich Cuckoos and Logan’s Run, but we’re still unsure as to what’s really going on. There’s a nice mystery here, but a lot of this is introducing us to the point of view character, Lyla Wilton. Really nice to see more art from Bornyakov.

| Published by AfterShock

Other Highlights: Absolute Carnage: Lethal Protectors #2, Aero #3, Archie vs. Predator 2 #2, Cult Classic: Return to Whisper #4 & 5, Dead Man Logan #11, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark #9, Firefly #9, Five Years #4, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #12, Grumble #10, Guts, High Level #6, History of the Marvel Universe #3, House of X #5, Infinity 8 #15, James Bond 007 #11, KISS: The End #5, Lucifer #12, Magnificent Ms. Marvel #7, Marvel Action: Captain Marvel #2, Red Sonja: Birth of the She-Devil #4, Second Coming #3, Star Trek: Year Five #6, Star Wars: Age of Resistance - Rey #1, Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #36, Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #3, Test #4, Titans: Burning Rage #2, Tony Stark: Iron Man #16, Wonder Woman: Come Back to Me #3, Xena: Warrior Princess #6

Recommended Collections: Age of Conan: Bêlit, Assassin Nation - Volume 1, Beasts of Burden - Volume 2: Neighborhood Watch, Doctor Strange - Volume 3: Herald, Fairlady - Volume 1, Fantastic Four - Volume 3: Herald of Doom, Farmhand - Volume 2, The Flash - Volume 10: Force Quest, Head Lopper - Volume 3: Knights of Venora, Infinity Wars: Complete Collection, Lazarus - Volume 3, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers - Volume 9, Port of Earth - Volume 3, Umbrella Academy - Volume 3: Hotel Oblivion, Welcome to Wanderland, Young Justice - Volume 1: Gemworld

d. emerson eddy thinks Grodd carrying Turtle around in a little kid carrier is hilarious.

[glitterandrocketfuel]

YBC Hot Takes: Alone Together

Part 3 in this month’s Peterick Institute for Flexible Metallurgical Haberdashery is under way! Today’s discussion takes on Part 4 of the Youngblood Chronicles, viewed through the lens of Patrick’s solo career during the hiatus.

Alone Together - Alone in the Dark. Without You, I’m Just Me.

The vixens hand off the briefcase to the mystery woman in the RATATAT limo, passing Patrick's solo career into the hands of the music industry. Patrick's solo career makes its way out into the world, and into the hands of people who are ready to see this strange musical dreamer from a band that never quite fit into expectations or did the right thing be taken down a peg, made to fit in someplace where he can be marketed and controlled and served up at the pleasure of the forces that profit from creativity rather than create it. 

In hiatus terms, each of the boys is going through their own personal hellscape. Joe's sense of humor (though underrepresented in media interviews, Joe's always had a killer sense of humor) deserted him in the darker times of hiatus-ville. Plus, humor comes from pain. Andy's forced to hear corporate-pablum music and face TeeVee with someone who looks like the quintessential PR person "image consultant." Basically the worst version of "suddenly I have nothing to do all day but watch TV" ever.

And Pete, well, we all know Pete's relationship with the paparazzi is one that is complex and painful. He knows exactly how to mug for the cameras and use it to his advantage, but damned if he doesn't bleed for it, and does it ever change him. Fame changes you and Celebrity can turn you into a weapon towards its own ends as you're driven to do more and more outrageous things for the spotlight while having less and less control over your own image and narrative. And lest we forget, deep cuts can be made in 140 characters or less. Hiatus!Pete was known to make some thoughtless tweets regarding the band's status that cut them like, oh, a hook cuts through a vixen, and Patrick, without the shield of the Pete Wentz Celebrity Show, is about to experience the full thrust of social media and celebrity all alone (while Pete is in his own separate media hell).

But while each of these scenarios shows the boys grappling with their own individual nightmares, there's another level of interpretation: The other band members are all aspects of Patrick's solo career.

Andy represents Patrick's artistic integrity (much in the way Andy is the true north for the band). He's under attack by consumption and pretension, the "selling out" aspect that wants to package and make palatable and soften and distort and produce by committee (all the things that Patrick's grappled with in his controlling professional nature). The label doesn't quite know what to do with him, how to package him. They would love nothing more than to leverage his Fall Out Boy fame, but Patrick Stump, Soul Punk is not an outgrowth of that, it's a departure from it. But he's also a little (blonde, pale, white) guy in a suit and a bow tie who's aligning musically with hip-hop, soul, R&B, rap, and synth-pop that they just don't know how to sell.

Joe is Patrick's playfulness, his creative compass. After all, it is Patrick and Joe who were both kids when they started on the whole crazy ride. Joe put the band together and where Pete pushes Patrick to stretch his limits, Joe leads him in more subtle ways. Joe is under attack by fickle, fickle youth. The "kids" who catapulted Fall Out Boy into stardom are the same ones who tossed accusations about them selling out when they changed up their sound or started playing bigger venues.

Even as far back as IOH, Pete played with the concepts of aging out of "the scene" and the implications of their changing fame on their sound (nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy when you've gone platinum). And those same "kids" (the fact that they're little girls dressed up and made up like young vixens is another layer altogether, commenting on the changing music scene and how we're commercializing 'em younger and younger but I digress...) are the ones who are simultaneously embracing Patrick at shows and in tweets...and excoriating him the same way for not staying the same.

Pete is the Spotlight, shining harsh and violent on an alone-on-stage Patrick who doesn't have a band to hide behind or stand with him when he's a solo artist. The frontman antics and media scrutiny, the gauntlet of interviews Patrick has always been able to slide into Pete's inbox or avoid in favor of being one of two or three or four where he could count on Pete taking the lead all rest solely on Patrick's shoulders now. Not all these things are bad--Patrick on stage as frontman, doing his own thing and coming out from behind the shell of his awkward youth, is the stuff vixens dream about at night.

But while Patrick has learned to do it, he's not learned to master it the way Pete has--not had a baptism of fire, so to speak. He can perform being a performer, but he can't tame and direct and hack the attention the way Pete can. The celebrity rides him, not the other way around.

The sexual overtones of Pete being on display are significant here, both for Pete as Pete and for Pete-as-Patrick. Without Pete being the "heartthrob" of the band, all the sexualized attention is turned onto Patrick alone and if you're not born to it, it turns on you in a heartbeat.

Patrick, pushing his solo career, plays in the hallowed halls of venues every night, but whatever the realities are, his ears start to hear more and more of the critics. For the first time, he's doing this without a Pete Wentz Patented Safety Net.

He's slimmed down, glammed up, dressed up, sexed up in the spotlight, his music unrestrained by a pre-defined "sound" of Fall Out Boy that he must remain faithful to. But without the Pete-Buffer he stands alone and all his ears can hear are the critics. The tapes are on loop, playing "we liked you better fat," and "go back to Fall Out Boy."

Pete racing through the halls, pursued with murderous intent by the vixens who so recently wanted sexytimes, is Patrick flailing between the broom closet of his past with Fall Out Boy and punk, and his present as an outsider in hip-hop (y halo thar, Big Sean). The halls are a maze, and Patrick's front-facing persona is only reunited with himself after the critical voices have laid their poison.

Cruel reviews, selfish reactions from fans who don't want him to change or strike out on his own. Sinister whispers designed to break him down and manipulate him back into staying in the lane that the media and the public have already assigned to him--either go back to Fall Out Boy or stay in the same musical lane.

Or the really scary option of having to be a nostalgia/reunion band that does nothing but replay its old glories over and over again or desperately attempts to try and re-create the same thing again and again. Missing the mark each time because the magic never stays the same. Tap-dancing harder and faster for half the thrill each time and never be able to move forward or move on.

In the end, though, Pete finds Patrick in the befouled sacred space of music and does his best to patch him back together by providing the hook. But it's not a hand, it's not the vital connection to the band that makes him whole, it's a weapon. A crude one, only good for lashing out and hurting, and already test-driven by Pete himself.

Pete, who has done this before--had his guts opened up and his innards dissected by the media and gossip mills which thrive on consuming intimate, personal experiences and regurgitating them in carnival fun-house distortion back into the public eye--and conquered it in his own way as best as he could.

Patrick's public-facing self reunites with him, but the damage has been done both internally in the music space and externally, leaving him broken and un-whole. Instead of the talented hand and crafty fingers, he's got a clumsy weapon, good only for destroying what came before.

[yunsangelic]

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen. 

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

“Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

 Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins 

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans

[wideouts4life]

NFL Week 9

I believe if you’re a fan of football then it’s easy to agree that Tyreek Hill is the best wideout in the NFL without any question. Yes, there are some really good ones who are stars but Tyreek is a Superstar. After 9 weeks he has produced 1,104 yards from 76 catches and 3 touchdowns at the halfway point of the season. Nobody in pads that lines up at wideout can do what he does. Now I see why Mr. Hill left Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs. Quite frankly he bet on himself and it’s paying off humungous dividends for the Miami Dolphins. It also appears the Chiefs and offensive connoisseur Andy Reid under-utilized Tyreek’s skill set. Not having a quarterback who can throw 75 yards I believe is actually helping Tyreek. Most teams don’t double-team a guy under 20 yards and while Hill has gotten behind defensive backs this season, Tua simply cannot push the ball down the field causing Hill to rely on his YAC (yards after catch) in which he has 339 of those. He is annihilating db’s and making it look easy. As Hill was quoted this weekend, “I’m like a kid in a candy store…I’m just having fun.”

Davante Adams was having the game of his life. In the first half of the Oakland Raiders game versus the Jacksonville Jaguars, Adams caught 10 balls on 10 targets for 146 yards and 2 touchdowns. He looked unstoppable. Davante opened up with a catch from the backfield and showed bursts of quickness on his shallow cross and dig rounding out his 2nd and 3rd catch. Before his first touchdown, Adams caught a slant on 4th down where he killed the DB on his release. During his 2nd touchdown he kept his vertical stem 20 yards before declaring post in which Davante made the safety tumble over himself. But as fate, luck, or just how the Raiders season has gone…Davante Adams laid a donut hole in the 2nd half. Of his 7 second-half attempts I marked him down with 3 drops, including a crucial ball he has to make on 4th down to give his team a chance to tie, late in the game. I personally think he was gassed during the whole second half. He cruised out of his break and just looked lazy at the top of his route. If there is anything the Raiders can do to salvage the season I believe its going to start with the wideout core recommitting to excelling the second half of the season and instead of creating excuses look for ways to be the solution the Raiders finish the season with a winning record. 

Cooper Kupp is a beast. I know All-Pro defensive tackle Aaron Donald comes to mind when we talk about who the beasts are for the Los Angeles Rams. But when I look at what head coach Sean McVay and the Rams are asking of Kupp, he has to get the Iron Man award for that team. With a non-existent running game, Kupp alines in the backfield catching swing routes which are basically an extension to the run game. And the same for the quick screens he continues to catch with one almost ruining his season late (under 2 min) against the 49ers in a game they had no chance to win. Kupp caught 8 passes for 127 yards and 1 touchdown on a pretty seam pattern where he turned on the jets outracing 3 Buccaneer defenders for the Rams lone touchdown of the day. 

Justin Jefferson had an easy day at the office. Jefferson caught 7 balls for a 115 yards and 1 touchdown that was one hell of a catch. With the defender draped all over him Jefferson skied like Jordan for the score in the back of the right end zone. Jefferson looked quick and explosive on some of the quick throw catches he caught and played aggressive all afternoon. There were 3 50/50 balls I feel he should’ve caught at least 2 of them. And to his credit he was interfered with on each one. As I prepare to put out my top 3 maybe 4 list in which I have shortened down from 10 because in all honesty if you not top 3, you’re just not that important. But I believe Jefferson is on that cusp of being either #4 or one spot from being a top wideout at the halfway point. 

Rounding out this weeks wideouts who reached the century mark in yards is someone I’ve never heard of. And this would make perfect sense considering the two guys who play in front of him. Keenan Allen and Mike Williams being hurt allowed Josh Palmer of the San Diego Chargers to show coaches what he could do. The 2nd year 3rd round draftee out of Tennessee sure looked as if he belonged. Palmer listed at 6’1 210 played even bigger than his body size. His quickness and speed is one thing that jumped out at me immediately. And he had two nice releases on a deep over and hitch route that impressed me as well. I can see the Chargers being a problem in the second half of the season when they’re healthy and at full-strength. Palmer finished the game with 8 catches for 10 yards and no touchdowns. 

Hopefully before the start of Sunday’s game I will have my mid-season top wideouts list done. Wideouts Lets Go, have another great week of playmaking. 

[tkmedia]

10 Fantasy Thoughts: Is Cooper Kupp your 2021 fantasy saviour?

What a week for individual performances.Derrick Henry and Aaron Jones followed up lacklustre Week 1 performances to win plenty of matchups. Aaron Rodgers did what Aaron Rodgers does with a monster bounce-back performance. Austin Ekeler was used heavily in the passing game with nine catches on nine targets. Just like we all thought. Well, some of us. Week 1 overreactions are almost always followed by a market correction, so maybe keep the hot takes to a low whisper instead of shouting them out to the world. It’s very unbecoming. But hey, if people want to make it known that they think Robert Woods is washed or that Saquon Barkley suddenly became a bad running back, then be sure to seek them out and offer to take those “terrible” players off their hands. Do them that service, take that weight off them on this journey, almost like their Fantasy Sherpa. And then crush them. (All weekly rankings courtesy of Fantasy Data) 1. Cooper Kupp’s revelation I will be the first to say that I thought that the biggest benefactor of Matthew Stafford heading to Los Angeles this off-season would be Robert Woods. Through the first two weeks of the year, it’s becoming apparent that I might be just a little bit off. Kupp has been nothing short of brilliant in the first two weeks, compiling back-to-back top-10 weeks, including the top spot in this week’s finish. He has 21 targets which places him in a tie for fifth among wide receivers, 16 catches (tied for first) and 271 yards (third) with Stafford under centre and occupies a ridiculous 37.5 per cent target share. It feels like every time the Rams get possession that Kupp is going to get an opportunity to score because he constantly looks like he’s wide open. Sean McVay is also unleashing Kupp out wide as opposed to the slot where he’s primarily been deployed from since his rookie year. That percentage of slot snaps has dropped from 73 per cent in his sophomore year in 2018 to 44 per cent through the first two games of 2021. Alpha wide receivers don’t play out of the slot and it seems as though the Rams have found their alpha receiver. Kupp is going to have an off game here and there and I expect Woods is going eat a bit more into Kupp’s target share, but make no mistake about it, Kupp is going to have a monster year. 2. Derek Carr, the unlikely addition to the QB1 group Steady. Decent floor. Capped ceiling. Great second quarterback. Those have been terms used to describe Derek Carr’s fantasy relevance since coming into the league, but we might be seeing him turn a corner and maybe, just maybe, he’s actually as good as we’ve seen in the first two weeks. It’s certainly early in the schedule, but it’s not like Carr has been up against cupcake defences to start. Baltimore’s D has playmakers and the Steelers basically shut down the Bills’ aerial attack in Week 1. He currently leads the league with 817 passing yards and has four touchdowns to one interception, while occupying the QB8 spot. With the Dolphins on the docket next, it looks like another matchup that Carr can exploit, especially considering that this Raiders offence looks like it has some pretty good pass catchers outside of Darren Waller. Henry Ruggs appears ready to take the next step forward after not living up to the rookie hype of being a high first-round pick last year. Hunter Renfrow is a reliable slot receiver and Bryan Edwards has all the tools to become a good receiver at this level. All this while the running game hasn’t been too great and Josh Jacobs is dealing with an injury. Carr is going to have to be on top of his game in the coming weeks as he gets the Chargers, Bears, Broncos and Eagles in the four games following Week 3's Dolphins game. By then, we should have an accurate assessment of where Derek Carr fits into the QB1 conversation. Something tells me that this is for real. 3. The Mike Williams we’ve been waiting for He’s had a 1,000-yard season and a 10-touchdown season, but both did not occur at the same time. We’ve been drawn in by his tantalizing talent and incredible ability go make absurd leaping catches, but we’ve never seen the consistency that warrants a regular spot in your lineup. Enter new Chargers offensive coordinator Joe Lombardi, formerly of the New Orleans Saints, with Williams in a contract year and you've got a recipe for success. Lombardi talked up Williams in the off-season and is using him like he used Michael Thomas with the Saints. Justin Herbert even talked about his skill set and also wanting him to get the ball more. We’re now seeing the fruits of these discussions. Williams is currently the WR5 (tied with Amari Cooper) and has 22 targets in the first two games, parlaying those into 15 catches for 173 yards and two touchdowns. That’s the good stuff right there. I, for one, have been a big proponent of Williams ever since he was drafted out of Clemson and I’ve drafted him basically every year he has been in the league, so this one feels good. 4. Brandin Cooks = Automatic Cooks may be the most underappreciated fantasy player that we’ve seen in a long time. All he does is get the job done and his ADP almost never reflects his production at the end of the year. Last season, Cooks was the WR17 in 15 games with 81 catches for 1,150 yards and six touchdowns on only 119 targets. In five of seven seasons (including his rookie year where he only played 10 games), he has accumulated at least 65 catches, 1,082 yards and five touchdowns. It’s a pretty impressive resume that probably doesn’t get enough credit, especially in fantasy. The question now becomes, can Cooks still thrive with Davis Mills as the quarterback in Houston following the hamstring injury to Tyrod Taylor. What we know is that there isn’t a lot of competition for targets and that Houston is going to have to throw a lot in order to stay in games, so I will bet on Cooks getting plenty of looks and still manage to be in the WR2 or WR3 conversation going forward. 5. Teddy Bridgewater, the Wild (AFC) West’s newest gunslinger In a division that includes Patrick Mahomes, Justin Herbert and Derek Carr, Denver needed to being to have success through the air to stand a chance to stay alive in the AFC West arms race. Teddy Two Gloves was always perceived to be a dink and dunk type quarterback as evidenced by his Air Yards Per Target last season which had him near the bottom of the league for starting quarterbacks. Something has changed. It could be the poor competition faced so far as the Broncos took on the Giants and Jaguars, or it could be that Bridgewater has finally been unleashed. Through the first two weeks, he sits fourth in Intended Air Yards behind Trevor Lawrence, Derek Carr and Tom Brady and fifth in Completed Air Yards behind Brady, Carr, Daniel Jones and Justin Herbert. What we can deduce is that Teddy is slinging it early on. The Broncos offence has been very good through the first two games and gets a peach matchup against the awful Jets in Week 3. Teddy Bridgewater has become quite the fantasy asset in Denver with a plethora of weapons at his disposal and if they continue to let him sling it, we could really see him stay in the conversation as an every week starter and a back-end QB1 by the time the season is done. 6. The Cowboys RB timeshare…really? One of the Cowboys running backs is RB12 and the other one is RB26. My guess is that you’ve figured out that Pollard is the RB12 and Elliott is the RB26. Yes, the above statement is accurate. “It has to be because Pollard is making the most of limited opportunities though, right?” Incorrect! Pollard has 23 touches compared to Elliott’s 31, so yes, Pollard is making the most of his opportunities (7.7 yards per carry and seven catches on seven targets), but the workload is a lot closer than it has been in years past. Elliott just doesn’t look like nearly the same player that we saw two years ago and looks more like the player that we saw last year. So maybe this is just what he is at this point in his career. On the other hand, Pollard looks great seemingly every time he touches the ball. You’re going to start Elliott every week, but now you’re going to have to start Pollard every week until we are given a reason not to. The thought process is that the workload going forward is going to look very similar to what it is now, but there’s also a chance that if Zeke doesn’t perform that we could see Pollard get even more looks as the season progresses. 7. The Patriots backs are relevant again The best thing that happened to the Patriots running backs was to get rid of Cam Newton as the team’s signal caller and bring in a less athletic, more accurate passer in Mac Jones. That much has been evident over the first two weeks of the season. Damien Harris has taken over as the lead dog in that backfield and established that he’s going to be the guy to get the bulk of the carries. We’ve also established that James White is back after a tumultuous season last year where he dealt with great personal loss and injury. There is a very good chance with Jones at the helm that both Harris and White finish as top-30 running backs. Harris because of his workload and usage in the red zone looks like a virtual lock. For White, it comes down to how much usage he’s going to get in the passing game. With 13 targets (18 per cent target share) through two games, he’s on pace for 110 targets and if that holds up, he should be a great return on value, especially considering he was way down everyone’s draft board before the season started. The Patriots look like they’re back to being the Patriots we had seen for so many years prior, except for, you know, that Brady character. 8. Is the Vikings duo of receivers now a trio? It’s early in the season, we are all aware of that, but some times, some things happen that make you raise an eyebrow. There was obvious hype surrounding Justin Jefferson after his incredible rookie season and even though plenty of people were down on Adam Thielen, he certainly didn’t become a bad receiver overnight. But nobody expected what we’ve seen out of the third member of what might now be a trio of good receivers. KJ Osborn has been a revelation early on in the season for Minnesota, currently sitting at WR19 with 12 catches, 167 yards and a touchdown on 15 targets (18.5 per cent target share) and has been a great complement to the two great receivers ahead of him. The likelihood of this production is due to the injury of Irv Smith Jr., the lack of talent at the tight end position and Thielen and Jefferson drawing top coverages. Jefferson and Thielen are going to get theirs, but Osborn is worth an add in deeper leagues, especially because we have to think that the Vikings are going to be throwing the ball a lot this season. If Jefferson and Thielen go down with injury, Osborn is an easy WR3 play but could even pay dividends as a high-risk, high-reward flex play with those two in the lineup. 9. Patience is a virtue with Hollywood Brown There’s a very good chance that we overlooked Brown’s finish to last season where he was the WR13 from Week 12-17. Yes, he did have five touchdowns in that span and yes we know that is a fluke stat, but you know what, he’s been a touchdown machine since Week 5 of last year. In that stretch of 14 games he has 10 touchdowns, so he could just be on a hot stretch, but it’s worth noting. Through two games this year, Brown is the WR8 with 182 receiving yards, two touchdowns on 16 targets and looks like he’s becoming a lock for your lineups every week. We know that some receivers take some time to adjust to the NFL game and Brown is probably that guy. It also helps that he’s becoming a focal point of the passing game (28 per cent target share) while rookie Rashod Bateman is on the sidelines and Mark Andrews has scuffled a bit out of the gate (eight catches for 77 yards) because this Ravens team is still going to need to have some success in the passing game to make a run in the AFC. Hollywood has arrived. 10. The Weekly “Mike Tolbert Vulture Awards” Ricky Seals-Jones This is one of those rare occasions where a player vultures a touchdown and it was on a great play. Seals-Jones made the most of his lone catch, going for 19 yards and a touchdown but making a great grab in the corner of the end zone on a pass from Taylor Heinicke. I’m sure Logan Thomas managers were thrilled by this. Andy Janovich The Browns fullback not only vultured a rushing touchdown from both Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt, but he also outscored Clyde Edwards-Helaire, James Conner, Nyheim Hines and was decimal points behind Jonathan Taylor, Alvin Kamara and Miles Sanders. Janovich’s two carries resulted in zero yards and a touchdown. Can’t make this stuff up. Jauan Jennings Jennings is outscoring Brandon Aiyuk in fantasy scoring just like you all predicted. He had two catches for 17 yards and a score in the Niners win over the Eagles and followed up the San Francisco train of touchdown vultures after they doubled up on the award last week thanks to Trey Lance and Trent Sherfield. Darrell Williams This one was easily my favourite vulture line of the week. Williams was a pre-season sleeper to take away work from Clyde Edwards-Helaire (and even outscored him this week), but you’re not going to get very far with his line of three carries for -2 yards and a touchdown. He averaged 0.7 yards per carry and still outscored the RB1 on his team. I love fantasy football. Read the full article

[junker-town]

3 winners and 2 losers from the NFC and AFC Championship games

Benny Sieu-USA TODAY Sports

Tom Brady led the Bucs, and the Bills settled for field goals.

So much has changed in the last year, but with all the world turmoil there remains an ever-present constant: Tom Brady will be in the Super Bowl. Sure, he might have missed last year, but 2021 will mark Brady’s 10th appearance in the game since entering the league 20 years ago. That’s mind-bogglingly absurd. Most players wait their entire careers to play in the Super Bowl, some (like Philip Rivers) can have incredible careers with out experiencing the pageantry once. Brady averages an appearance every other year.

This is different, and Brady made it to the Super Bowl in a very different way. Unless you’re blinded to the game, he really didn’t play very well against the Packers. There was a concerted effort to turn this into a story of Brady conquering the No. 1 seed in the NFC, but in the end it was, much like the prior week against New Orleans, a case where the Tampa Bay defense prevailed. It wasn’t so much that Brady got “bailed out,” as much as the defense ensured that Rodgers couldn’t make a concerted comeback.

Davante Adams, the NFL’s best receiver this season, was held to 67 yards and 9 catches. They reduced his average yards per reception from 11.9 yards in the regular season, to 7.4 yards. While that might not sound like a lot, it’s a huge drop off — and even more astounding considering Tampa Bay was without their two starting safeties for the majority of the game. Antoine Winfield was ruled out before kickoff, and Jordan Whitehead left in the first half. This was destined to be a game where Adams ate the secondary alive, but players stepped up, filled gaps and made the difference.

It’s why it’s okay that Brady threw three touchdowns and three interceptions on the day. Which is hilarious when you think about it, because the Buccaneers moved on from Jameis Winston precisely because he threw as many picks and touchdowns last season. No, obviously Brady and Winston aren’t the same player — it’s just humorous.

Tampa Bay was bad last season because they were close in so many games, and Winston let them down. Brady doesn’t need to be the hero this time around, he just needs to be good enough to be part of the team, not the team. It’s probably a role he relishes a little bit, where he can sit back and be a sounding board for younger players who are bound to be intimidated by the moment. That’s what Brady brings to the table at this point in his career, and honestly, before Sunday I didn’t know if it would be enough — but the Buccaneers proved me wrong. They are a complete football team ready to make a run at the Super Bowl, and while that will be tough against the Chiefs, it’s not impossible.

Loser: Everyone on the Packers except Aaron Rodgers.

A week ago I offered effusive praise for the Packers for how much fun they were having on the field. All of that seemed gone on Sunday. Perhaps it was the pressure of playing at home in front of fans for a berth in the Super Bowl, but everything just looked difficult for a team that made everything appear so easy for much of the season.

The end to this story is the same familiar refrain: Aaron Rodgers was let down by his teammates and coaches. There were a few pivotal moments that Rodgers couldn’t do anything about, that either took the momentum away from Green Bay, or never gave him a chance.

Davante Adams drops a pass in the end zone that’s right on target. The Packers settle for a field goal.

Rodgers throws an interception after referees no-call holding on Sean Murphy-Bunting. It ends a drive at the GB 33 yard line, two plays after a 23 yard completion that had the Packers marching.

Aaron Jones fumbles following a reception at the 25 yard line. Tampa Bay get the ball and score a quick touchdown.

Matt LaFleur elects to kick a field goal with 2:09 left on the clock, instead of letting Rodgers attempt to score and tie the game.

That last point is a little up for debate, because either way the Packers would have needed to stop the Buccaneers in order to win, but it’s the pervasive feeling that the game was taken out of the hands of Green Bay’s best player, and it happened multiple times.

Now Rodgers is sounding pensive about his future, and honestly, who can blame him.

Aaron Rodgers: “A lot of guys futures, they’re uncertain, myself included.”

— Matt Schneidman (@mattschneidman) January 25, 2021

Loser: The referees in Bucs vs. Packers.

I’m not one to complain about refs. I think it’s an easy cop out to single out a missed call and blame a game for it. However, in this case there’s a lot of warranted criticism. The officials decided early on that they were going to let the Buccaneers and Packers go in the secondary. Both teams were jostling, holding, impeding each other all game long.

It benefitted Tampa Bay, it benefitted Green Bay. There were numerous times each team was helped by the lax attitude of officials towards contact in the secondary. The problem arose on the game’s final drive, in which officials called pass interference on Kevin King for grabbing the jersey of Tyler Johnson.

The call came on a 3rd and 4, the last chance for the Packers to get a stop. Instead of seeing a player win the game, we witnessed it taken away by inconsistency. Again, King definitely committed a penalty — on that there’s no question, but there needs to be some form of accountability when players are led to believe they can get away with stuff in coverage, only to see it altered at a pivotal moment.

It was an unfair way to end the game.

Winner: Gutless-ass football.

Big week for fans of conservative boring football, courtesy of the Packers and Bills. We’ve discussed the Packers’ decision to kick a field goal and how it may have led to their loss, but Buffalo’s decision was even more mystifying.

If you watched Bills vs. Chiefs then you know the game wasn’t nearly as close in the first half as the score showed. The only scoring success Buffalo had was courtesy of a muffed punt, which they recovered for a touchdown. Outside of that there really wasn’t much to write home about.

Sitting at 4th and 1, the Bills elected to kick a 20 yard field goal, rather than try for a touchdown. There were 14 seconds left on the clock, and they still had a timeout in hand. This meant they could run a safe play, pick up a yard, and give Josh Allen a few chances at the end zone. Instead they kicked, taking the game to 21-12. It was going to be a two-score game either way, it was just a cowardly move.

Then, without any sense of urgency, the Bills elected for ANOTHER field goal with 5:50 left in the third quarter, cutting the Chiefs to a 24-15 lead. Yep, another two score lead. I know there’s logic about slowly chipping down the lead, but this format just meant Kansas City needed to keep on par by hitting field goals of their own. In totality the Chiefs were out-driving Buffalo, so a field goal made no sense.

The Chiefs scored on the next drive and ended the game.

Winner: The Chiefs.

There is perhaps nothing more difficult than the weight of expectation, and living up to those expectations is so difficult in the NFL. From the first snap of Week 1 everyone predicted the Chiefs would return to the Super Bowl, but actually doing it is an entirely different story.

Patrick Mahomes was incredible on Sunday, but he’s a known quantity at this point. Where the Chiefs really shined was on defense, where they managed to mitigate all the Bills’ weapons and turn them into a shadow of themselves. The biggest regret in football isn’t losing, it’s not living up to your potential — and nobody on the Bills will be happy with how they were unable to move the ball against the Chiefs.

Kansas City is just so dangerous in so many different ways. Their defensive line is stout, their secondary is athletic, they have offensive weapons for days — and every week they’re so well coached they find new ways to needle opposing teams, finding their weaknesses and opening them wide up.

That’s why in two weeks time we’re going to have one hell of a Super Bowl. It’s going to be so fun to see Mahomes and Co. try to work against a tough Buccaneers defense, while seeing one of the greatest minds in NFL history in Tom Brady try to find gaps in Kansas City’s defense.

It’s going to be a blast.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, October 12

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Meg Ryan’s new life revealed 

Page 1: Big Pic -- Katie Holmes and Emilio Vitolo Jr. holding hands and wearing masks in NYC 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 3: Contents 

Page 4: Halle Berry happiness at last -- after years of heartbreak Halle has finally found true love with Van Hunt

Page 6: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s private world -- they’ve got successful careers and a solid marriage but the thing they’re most proud of is the beautiful life they’ve built together and family is everything to them 

Page 7: Jessica Simpson swore off reality TV after her show Newlyweds led to her split from ex-husband Nick Lachey in 2005 but she finds she misses working in front of the camera and after multiple offers to do a reality show with husband Eric Johnson and kids Maxwell and Ace and Birdie including one from Ryan Seacrest she’s seriously considering it except Eric thinks it’s the worst idea, Taylor Swift is itching to get her girl gang back together after taking a break from throwing A-list bashes and while she has been loving life in Nashville with fiance Joe Alwyn she feels like she’s neglected other important people in her life and to make amends she’s already making plans to gather girl squad members Gigi Hadid and Blake Lively and Martha Hunt and Katy Perry at her Rhode Island beachfront mansion, Madonna is ready to spill all and her exes better watch out because she is gearing up to direct a movie which she’s cowriting based on her storied life including her romances with Warren Beatty and ex-husbands Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie and baby daddy Carlos Leon who are all reportedly unnerved by the project and she’s getting a savage pleasure knowing her famous exes are nervous 

Page 8: Nikki and Brie Bella were known for their sculpted physiques in the WWE ring and since welcoming baby boys this summer they’re eager to get back into fighting shape by doing Zoom workouts together including Pilates and yoga and giving each other daily pep talks, Kourtney Kardashian has a new crush and has been hanging non-stop with 19-year-old TikTok sensation Addison Rae because she finds Addison incredibly refreshing and fun but Kourt’s obsession with Addison who is 22 years her junior has been raising eyebrows -- Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian are trying to be cool about it but they find it a little creepy how Kourt hangs on this girl’s every word, Lori Loughlin was sentenced to two months in federal prison for paying bribes to get her two daughters into college and she wants a seriously cushy stay behind bars because she figures that with her fame level and wealth and influence there’s no reason why she can’t have many of the perks she’s used to including an air-conditioned cell and cable TV and gourmet food and yoga and Pilates classes and even her own private security guard but especially time off for good behavior 

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars look dreamy in Oscar de la Renta -- Evan Rachel Wood, Kiki Layne, Scarlett Johansson 

Page 11: Regina King, Nicky Hilton Rothschild, Daisy Ridley 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Rachel Zoe vs. Molly Sims, Jamie Chung vs. Skyler Samuels

Page 13: Cara Santana vs. Kristen Taekman 

Page 14: News in Photos -- Johnny Depp looked relaxed and happy at the 68th San Sebastian International Film Festival for his new documentary Crock of Gold 

Page 16: The cast of Schitt’s Creek Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara and Daniel Levy and Annie Murphy, Olivia Culpo was joined by her dog Oliver during a day of shopping in West Hollywood, Miley Cyrus closing out the iHeartRadio Music Festival 

Page 17: Jessie James Decker running errands in Nashville, John Leguizamo playing chess in Washington Square Park, Eva Longoria urged Latinos to get out and vote at a campaign event for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris 

Page 18: Kaley Cuoco filming a scene for her show The Flight Attendant, Ian Somerhalder kissed the grass at the premiere of his new documentary Kiss the Ground 

Page 20: Drew Barrymore lit up the Empire State Building yellow to celebrate the premiere of her daytime talk show, Olivia Wilde and fiance Jason Sudeikis play soccer at the beach in Malibu 

Page 21: Tiger Woods ahead of the U.S. Open

Page 22: David Harbor grabbed a bite to eat solo in New York City, Jesse Metcalfe on his motorcycle, Paris Jackson showed support for longtime family friend Paris Hilton during a screening of her documentary

Page 23: Hailey Bieber on a pool floatie, Josephine Skriver filming a Maybelline commercial in New York City 

Page 24: Janelle Monae at the premiere of her new film Antebellum, John Legend made a grocery run in Los Angeles 

Page 25: Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs and former football pro Troy Polamalu shoot a Head & Shoulders commercial, Duchess Kate Middleton and Prince William made their first joint engagement after their summer break visiting a job center, Jennifer Garner picked up a bouquet of flowers while out and about in L.A. 

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Mariah Carey spent lockdown in a luxury estate in Bedford Corners, N.Y. 

Page 28: Drew Barrymore swore off men after her third divorce in 2016 but she’s had a change of heart because she’s been talking to Tom Cruise a lot during lockdown and now they’re on the verge of a full-blown romance

Page 30: It’s been a little over a month since Scott Disick and Sofia Richie pulled the plug on their romance but the pair are still hooking up on the DL which suits them both because Sofia is still attracted to Scott but she wanted freedom to date other people and the two of them have this warped attraction that they can’t find elsewhere, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have spent 37 blissful years together but after six months of quarantining together they’ve hit a serious rough patch bickering nonstop since lockdown started because they’re both independent spirits and being cooped up together day in and day out is just too close for comfort, Robert Pattinson and Suki Waterhouse are planning to tie the knot in a top-secret wedding this winter in the U.K. -- they want to have a small ceremony in London around Christmas with just family and a few close friends to toast with -- the two feel they are soulmates and feel it’s time to get married and settle down and maybe even start a family in the next couple of years 

Page 32: Cover Story -- Meg Ryan back and better than ever -- after taking a breather from Hollywood the new and improved actress is ready for her big comeback 

Page 36: Priscilla Presley putting family first -- how she is helping her daughter Lisa Marie Presley and grandchildren pick up the pieces after a tragic loss 

Page 38: Coming Clean -- stars open up about living booze-free -- Lucy Hale, Joe Manganiello, Bradley Cooper 

Page 39: Brad Pitt, Miley Cyrus, Jada Pinkett Smith, Daniel Radcliffe 

Page 40: Interview -- Keith Urban digs deep -- the country crooner talks about his eclectic new album and life at home with his favorite girls 

Page 42: Olivia Munn 40 and fabulous -- how the stunning star stays in such great shape 

Page 46: Style Week -- Kate Hudson is adding Inbloom a plant-based powdered supplement brand to her growing empire 

Page 48: What’s Hot Right Now -- makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury’s new Walk of No Shame collection offers five new universally flattering ways to get a glow up -- Miranda Kerr 

Page 49: Steal Her Style -- Cate Blanchett reigned supreme at the Venice Film Festival -- here’s how to wear her look for less 

Page 50: Getting Organized 101 -- freshen up your space for fall with the Home Edit founders and Netflix stars Joanna Teplin and Clea Shearer sharing their top tips for how to conquer clutter 

Page 52: Beauty -- Scent-sational -- time to add one of these new fragrances to your vanity 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 55: Q&A with Troy 

Page 58: Buzz -- Crikey, it’s a girl! Bindi Irwin and Chandler Powell share their baby joy in a zoo-themed gender reveal 

Page 60: Sound Bites --Chrissy Metz on getting ready to release her debut album at age 40, Ryan Reynolds on getting tested for COVID-19, Keke Palmer on staying true to herself, Carrie Underwood on forgetting to thank her family during an ACM Awards acceptance speech, Chrishell Stause on getting bad pick-up lines in her Instagram DMs 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Libra Kate Winslet turned 45 on October 5 

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Machine Gun Kelly

[go-redgirl]

Exclusive — Republicans Mull Ethics Charges Against Schiff Ally as Democrats Turn Back to Failed Russia Strategy

House GOP leaders are considering pursuing ethics charges against Democrat Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney (D-NY) for alleged misconduct he engaged in against Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) at an Intelligence Committee meeting on Wednesday morning.

“He was very rude,” Rep. Rick Crawford (R-AR) told Breitbart News on Wednesday evening of Maloney’s behavior towards Nunes and others during the committee meeting earlier in the day. “Members don’t question other members in hearings. This wasn’t on the agenda for the meeting. It was really inappropriate in my opinion, and pretty childish.”

Others familiar with the incident told Breitbart News that when a transcript of the incident—with the exact words of Maloney’s accusations and questions of Nunes during the meeting—becomes available, House GOP leadership lawyers familiar with parliamentary rules will consider bringing formal ethics charges against Maloney for his alleged misconduct toward Nunes during the meeting.

The standing rules of the House of Representatives make it such that one member cannot accuse another member of lying, and also cannot hurl insults at them. Depending on the exact wording of what Maloney said, when the transcript becomes available in the coming days, GOP lawyers may seek formal action against him by the House Ethics Committee.

The background of what led up to the Maloney incident is as follows: House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence (HPSCI) chairman Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) is gearing up yet again to try to level more baseless accusations against allies of President Donald Trump, this time over packages that were sent to a number of Trump allies inside and outside of Congress during the lead-up to the House impeachment of Trump last year.

What’s more, the Democrats appear to have leaked classified information to Politico in order to weaponize the narrative to the media and are now engaged in over-the-top tactics that may be in violation of House ethics rules to boot.

In reality, however, the broader picture here—Nunes told Breitbart News–is that Schiff is doing the Russians’ bidding.

“They’re clearly conducting election interference right now, either wittingly or unwittingly on behalf of Vladimir Putin,” Nunes said in an interview on Wednesday evening. “Putin doesn’t have to do anything. He doesn’t have to run one real op. But they just run around ‘Russia, Russia, Russia’ all the time. Well, they’re the ones doing it. They’re the ones who went to Russia to get information. Not Republicans. Republicans never went to Russia to get anything. Democrats did. Four years of disinformation, and they’ve been proven wrong all the time, and they’ve turned the committee into a dungeon of conspiracy theories. They don’t even do real work on Intel.”

Last week, Politico reported leaked details—including citing what it said was classified information, which is illegal to leak—about supposed packets of information sent to congressional allies of Trump last year to hurt presumptive Democrat nominee former Vice President Joe Biden.

“Top congressional Democrats are sounding the alarm about a series of packets mailed to prominent allies of President Donald Trump — material they say is part of a foreign disinformation plot to damage former vice president Joe Biden, according to new details from a letter the lawmakers delivered to the FBI last week,” Politico’s Natasha Bertrand, Kyle Cheney, and Andrew Desiderio wrote.

In the second paragraph of the article, the Politico scribes revealed what they said was classified information. Politico wrote:

The packets, described to Politico by two people who have seen the classified portion of the Democrats’ letter, were sent late last year to Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.), Sens. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) and Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), and then-White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney. The packets were sent amid a Democratic push to impeach Trump over his effort to pressure Ukraine’s president to investigate Biden and his son Hunter the sources said. Graham and Grassley denied having received the material, and Mulvaney and Nunes declined repeated requests for comment. One person familiar with the matter said the information was not turned over to the FBI. The FBI declined to comment.

Members of Congress, especially those on the Intelligence Committee, are regularly sent stuff from overseas powers. There exist a number of protocols, whereby staffers send such materials to the proper authorities for vetting.

“If you’re a Republican and you get on the Intelligence Committee, anything you get from a foreign country, it gets sent off to the proper authorities, and likely you would never even touch it or see it because the people who get the mail do that for us,” one member told Breitbart News. “That’s at the committee and your personal office and your district offices, and for sure your home.”

So while the latest attacks from Schiff seem like an interesting narrative or storyline from the establishment media, it is in reality fairly meaningless and mundane.

But all of a sudden Schiff called a committee meeting behind closed doors on Wednesday morning. There, a party-line vote was held to reveal certain pieces of the information about these packages to the whole Congress. But then things got ugly when Maloney began verbally accosting Nunes—the GOP ranking member—and hurling insults at him and at Republicans in general.

While Maloney’s office has not replied to a request for comment telling his side of the story, Republicans like Crawford were quick to come out and point out how out of line they think the top Democrat ally of Schiff was behaving during this exchange.

“He just kind of kept on the issue of these alleged items being sent to the committee,” Crawford told Breitbart News. “So obviously Devin Nunes didn’t comment on that. Here’s the thing: it’s standard practice that if you get a package from unknown source in a foreign country, it’s probably a good idea to call the FBI and let them handle it and not handle those packages and don’t open them and go, ‘Hey I wonder what this is? I guess it’s Christmas came early this year.’ No, you follow the protocol, which is you turn that over to the FBI. That’s what happened.”

Crawford added that Maloney seemed to be, at Schiff’s direction, trying to “goad” Nunes and Republicans into some kind of response that would then be weaponized and leaked. “It was mostly trying to goad … particularly Ranking Member Nunes, but also our side writ large, trying to goad us into making a comment,” Crawford said. “The thing is you don’t want to engage. It’s like trolls on social media. They want the attention and so you don’t want to give it to them.”

Then, if they said something, Schiff’s team would turn around and leak it to the press before it came out when the transcript of the meeting would eventually be made public.

“That’s the whole point, and that’s what this committee has devolved into under Schiff’s leadership—or lack of leadership would be the better term,” Crawford said. “It’s purely turned into an oppo research arm for the DCCC and more. This is an important committee, and it has a long history of acting in a bipartisan way, but Schiff has broken that.”

Crawford added that Schiff and his allies like Maloney behaving like this on the committee means that HPSCI, which is supposed to focus on intelligence threats to the United States, is now a laughingstock shell of its former glory.

“We’ve got a lot of threats, a very diverse threat matrix that exists around the world, and what have we been able to do in this committee under his leadership?” Crawford said. “Virtually nothing, and that’s because he’s been so focused on political advances and trying to position himself and take down Trump that they haven’t done anything even remotely related to intelligence and everything we’re charged with in that committee. It’s a mockery, it’s a complete travesty, and this is why the American people need to know this is how bad his tenure has been – would continue to be – if he were allowed to continue in that position.”

The Federalist’s Sean Davis on Wednesday published a deep dive debunking this latest scandal. His piece goes into depth about it all. But asked in a brief interview on Wednesday evening about the whole thing, Nunes told Breitbart News this is just the latest example of Schiff and his allies cooking up more nonsense within 100 days of the election.

“They never stop,” Nunes said. “The Democrats never stop with conspiracy theories and politicization of intelligence. They just read through intelligence reports to decide what they can leak to tie something back to Russia. The irony of this is they’re the ones who colluded with Russians. It wasn’t us. In 2016, they’re the ones who did it. You can’t even make this up. It’s so wacko. They just continue to push conspiracy theories that are nothing more, nothing less than that. How many times do they have to get busted on this? We have receipts of them doing it. We have court documents of them doing it. We have plenty of declassified information now from Horowitz and everywhere else that they were the ones doing this. They won’t give up trying to cover up what they were doing in 2016—and they’re doing it right now.”

Nunes added he believes the Democrat playbook will fail again, just like it did in 2016.

“They’re doing the same thing again,” Nunes said. “They’re running the same playbook as they did in 2016 over again. It’s pretty obvious. But we’re onto them this time. But all we can do is talk to people like you and say, ‘Hey just go back and look at the last four years. They were the ones colluding with Russia, not us.’”

[ladystylestores]

Why gay-friendly Taiwan is a creative haven for LGBTQ art

Written by Oscar Holland, CNN

Around this time last year, Taiwan was gearing up to host Asia’s largest ever Pride parade having just become the first place on the continent to legalize same-sex marriage.

More than 4,000 gay couples have since taken advantage of the landmark legislation. But beyond being able to tie the knot, the island’s LGBTQ communities are feeling the positive effects of the law in various other ways.

For Taiwan’s LGBTQ visual artists, for instance, the past year has heralded new forms of creative expression, according to photographer Su Misu, whose explorations of gender identity, sexuality and bondage range from candid nudes to fantastical subversions of religious imagery.

“More and more people are exhibiting their own self-identity, using their creative voice to express individuality,” she said over email. “People are also beginning to construct the histories of the LGBTQI movement in Taiwan, calling for others to participate and study it. All this can help the gay community, which focuses on different issues, to thrive.”

“I am a fake but my heart is true,” a 2016 image by Taiwanese photographer Su Misu, whose work explores gender identity, sexuality and bondage. Credit: Su Misu/Chi-Wen Gallery

Even before the marriage legislation, LGBTQ artists in Taiwan enjoyed a level of creative freedom denied to their counterparts in many parts of Asia.

Beyond the legal rights of expression enshrined in its constitution, Taiwan ranked 34th in the world (and 2nd in Asia, after Thailand) in a gay happiness index based on the experiences of 115,000 men from around the world. A recent report on workplace equality by the island’s oldest registered LGBTQ organization, Taiwan Tongzhi Hotline Association, found that the territory’s art sector was among the industries in which respondents felt “most comfortable” about coming out to co-workers.

Coupled with the island’s generous public arts funding, this atmosphere has produced a welcoming environment for LGBTQ art. And in 2017, just months after Taiwan’s constitutional court paved the way for the marriage law by declaring same-sex marriage a legal right, the gay art scene was afforded rare mainstream attention with the exhibition “Spectrosynthesis — Asian LGBTQ Issues and Art Now.”

Ku Fu-Sheng’s 1983 “The Room at the Top of the Stairs,” on show at the Museum of Contemporary Art, Taipei, in 2017. Credit: Museum of Contemporary Art, Taipei/Sunpride Foundation

Billed as Asia’s first major LGBTQ art show, the program featured over 50 works by 22 artists (from places including Hong Kong, mainland China and Singapore, as well as the Asian diaspora) addressing a range of topics, from forbidden love to sexual violence. Staging the show at a large public institution, Taipei’s Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA), meant that LGBTQ art had a rare opportunity to reach mainstream audiences, according to Patrick Sun, founder of the non-profit organization behind the show, Sunpride Foundation.

“If we do a show at a private gallery then I’m sure all my friends would come,” he said in a phone interview from Hong Kong, where he’s based. “But we want to talk to the general public.”

A ‘political victory’

For one of the show’s participants, 44-year-old avant-garde filmmaker Su Hui-Yu (no relation to Su Misu), the show represented a “political victory” that proved especially heartening for young artists.

“In Taiwan, it represented the changing of the wave (that) even a public museum would love to curate the show. It’s more symbolic in a political dimension than in (an) artistic one. But I think it encouraged art students a lot.”

A still from “Nue Quan” by Su Hui-Yu, an artist who explores LGBTQ issues and themes in his work. Credit: Su Hui-Yu / Double Square Gallery

For Su’s generation, however, the gay art scene has long been flourishing. Although straight, his work has often explored LGBTQ topics. One of his most recent projects saw Su film unrealized scenes from “The Glamorous Boys of Tang,” a homoerotic fantasy movie featuring orgies, killings and an exorcism, that was released without parts of the original screenplay, as Su believes they were deemed inappropriate in conservative 1980s Taiwan.

“There was already a strong tradition of queer study (and) queer art in Taiwan since the 1990s (and) since the lifting of martial law,” he said, over email, of the repressive military rule that formally ended in 1987.

A still from filmmaker Su Hui-Yu’s project “The Glamorous Boys of Tang,” which was based on unrealized scenes from the screenplay of a 1985 homoerotic fantasy movie of the same name. Credit: Su Hui-Yu

It was this decade that saw the opening of LGBTQ-friendly venues like IT Park and the Gin Gin Bookstore, which has housed a gallery space in Taipei for more than 20 years, alongside an explosion in gay literature, nightlife and academic discourse. But while gay artists were free to practice their art, conservative attitudes persisted.

When same-sex marriage legislation was first proposed in Taiwan in the early 2000s, it faced vociferous opposition. So-called conversion therapy, a pseudoscience that attempts to “treat” homosexuality, remained prevalent (it was only formally banned in 2018). Organizers of a 2003 exhibition of works made by gay artists during consensual art therapy even felt it necessary to clarify in the show’s notes: “This exhibition is not to show LGBT people need to be cured.”

Participants at Taiwan’s annual gay pride parade pictured outside the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall in Taipei in October 2019. Credit: Sam Yeh/AFP/Getty Images

In the euphoric aftermath of the passing of the same-sex marriage bill in 2019, it was easy to forget that 67% of voters had, in fact, rejected the idea in a referendum a year earlier. The Taiwanese government pressed ahead with the law, though some rights enjoyed by heterosexual couples, such as cross-national marriage, are still prohibited.

A scene from digital artist Wang Jun-Jieh’s “Passion,” which was screened at the “Spectrosynthesis” show in Taipei in 2017. Credit: Wang Jun-Jieh

For 36-year-old photographer 526 (a pseudonym pronounced “five two six”) it was family pressures rather than societal ones that stopped him from openly practicing his art, which includes intimate portraits of trans and LGBTQ subjects taken in their own bedrooms (pictured top).

“Even today, my parents are still afraid to tell their friends what I am doing,” he said over email. “It’s frustrating that even your parents can’t see your value, or tell others that their son is gay. I hope they can be brave, because … we need stand out and let all the people know: We are here.”

Nonetheless, he said that visibility of LGBTQ art is getting “better and better,” and that Taiwan’s progressive environment “makes it a good place to make art.” He pinpoints the legalization of same-sex marriage as not only a landmark in his artistic identity, but in his life more generally.

“I couldn’t have imagined that (the law) would happen in my lifetime,” he said. “If I’d known this would happen, I would probably not have stayed in the closet for 31 years.”

A beacon for Asia

The relative freedoms of Taiwan’s LGBTQ artists come into sharp focus when compared to their Asian neighbors. In Japan and South Korea, there are no real legal restrictions, though conservative attitudes prevent their respective scenes from thriving in quite the same way. At the other end of the spectrum, homosexuality remains a punishable crime in parts of Southeast Asia, including Malaysia, Brunei and some areas of Indonesia.

In between, there are a number of places that ostensibly allow gay art to be displayed, but where censorship remains a significant barrier. In mainland China, for instance, authorities have been known to periodically close down LGBTQ exhibitions without explanation.

Meanwhile in Singapore, where artists are permitted to exhibit LGBTQ-themed work despite the fact that gay sex is illegal (a law that is rarely enforced), censorship is also common. In 2016, authorities removed a number of items, including sex toys, from artist Loo Zihan’s exhibition “Queer Objects,” at the Institute of Contemporary Arts Singapore, due to obscenity laws. (A few years earlier, Loo responded to an age restriction placed on one of his shows by photocopying visitors’ ID cards and incorporating them into the displays.)

The idea that Taiwan can serve as a beacon for the rest of Asia was a key idea behind “Spectrosynthesis.” Speaking to CNN at the time, curator Sean Hu expressed his hope that the Taipei show would have “a ripple effect across Asian society.”

Installation view of Hou Chun-Ming’s “Man Hole” at the Museum of Contemporary Art, Taipei, for the show “Spectrosynthesis.” Credit: Museum of Contemporary Art, Taipei/Sunpride Foundation

Indeed, a second edition of the show has since been held in Thailand — again at a mainstream, publicly-funded venue, the Bangkok Art and Culture Centre — featuring almost three times the number of artists. A third is planned for Hong Kong in 2022, with Sun expressing hopes for them becoming a “new normal” in other Asian cities.

With Taiwan attempting to establish itself as a commercial arts destination (the launch of the Taipei Dangdai art fair in 2019 signaled that the island may hope to challenge Hong Kong’s domination of the Asian market), the island’s gay artists could, in turn, benefit from the growing international profile.

One such artist, Tzeng Yi-Hsin said she experienced an uptick in international inquiries after two of her images were featured in “Spectrosynthesis.”

“I didn’t get a lot of response or feedback from inside Taiwan, but right after the show, I received more interest and approaches from people outside,” she said, citing interest from Japanese collectors and Western media.

Tzeng Yi-Hsin’s “Olympia,” based on a Édouard Manet painting of the same name, is one of a series of pictures that saw the artist and photographer reenact famous paintings from art history. Credit: Tzeng Yi-Hsin

Another shot from Tzeng’s series recreates Manet’s ��Le Déjeuner sur l’herbe” (The Luncheon on the Grass). Credit: Tzeng Yi-Hsin

However, Tzeng also expressed reservations about the exhibition’s heavy focus on male artists. Only three of the 22 participating artists were female, with just one identifying as transgender. (Sun welcomed the critique, saying he “took it to heart” and is ensuring that his foundation makes “a conscious effort to include female and transgender artists.”)

For the 41-year-old artist and photographer, this curatorial decision represents a wider problem facing the arts in Taiwan: That gay male artists continue to take a disproportionate chunk of the limelight.

“The majority of curators and collectors are male, and, from my perspective, they are more interested in gay male art,” she said, adding: “We all notice that there are a lot of gay artists (in Taiwan), but if a curator asks, ‘Who’s a lesbian artist?’ No one knows.”

Eschewing labels

According to Su Misu, an oversimplification of LGBTQ issues is another obstacle facing Taiwan’s gay artists. She identified a variety of difficult or challenging topics that remain hard to address in mainstream forums.

“Issues deemed ‘taboo’ need more visibility, including drug abuse, AIDS, sex workers, transgender people, disabled people and BDSM practitioners,” she said, adding that exploring these topics could help challenge “inaccurate stereotypes about sex and gender.”

Art that conforms with the public’s existing ideas about LGBTQ communities will, she said “only reinforce labeling minority groups.”

Pride 2020: A history of the rainbow flag

Even the concept of LGBTQ art itself may be a generalization said Tzeng, who doesn’t recognize the existence of a gay art “scene,” per se, in Taipei. While some of her work directly addresses LGBTQ themes, much of it is unrelated to her sexuality, such as her iconoclastic images defacing classic paintings or photographs of pop cultural and political figures like former Taiwanese leader Chiang Kai-shek.

“I never identified myself as a gay artist. I know my identity, but I’m just doing my own work.”

Tzeng’s “My Dear Lovers” series saw her “defacing” various images and photographs. Credit: Tzeng Yi-Hsin

It’s a point also raised by Sun who, despite organizing LGBTQ-themed exhibitions, said that artists’ primary concern is “not to be labeled in expressing what they want to say.” But whether that means organizations like his might, in an ideal future, no longer need to exist, is a moot point given the widespread challenges facing Asia’s gay artists, he said.

“In the next 10 or 15 years we have a lot of work to do,” he said. “So we can worry about that when the world has changed!”

Top image: An intimate portrait by Taipei-based photographer 526.

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