#and i can't even comprehend why (outside of bigotry) someone would choose to argue instead of doing their best to adjust

[tigger8900]

Truth in the last line. This is the kind of thing that results from placing societal emphasis on saying all the "correct" things(ie, "it is correct to always use appropriately-gendered terms when referring to a person") rather than aiming first and foremost to treat other people with respect(ie, "refer to people in accordance with their wishes"). It's hard to argue treating other people with respect, especially if they're telling you how they feel disrespected. But we can go back and forth about what's "correct" all day long because what's considered "correct" is in constant flux, therefore inviting debate/argument, and in the process utterly failing to treat anybody with respect.

i just don’t think “is dude gender neutral” is that productive of a conversation because a word can be gendered and still used regardless of gender. i call my male friends girlypop and my female friends man but i don’t think anybody would agree that those are somehow not gendered terms.

the real question is just “would you be willing to apologize and stop using a word if somebody told you it made them uncomfortable?” the answer to which in a surprising number of cases is no mostly because it seems like overall ppl r more upset abt getting accused of transphobia than they are abt being transphobic