#and its never enough of course
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i need MONWYYYYYYYYY starts chewing my leg off. my life is in shambles
#im not even upset enough to vent im just annoyed#so much to worry about its like everyday is me juggling several problems as best as i can on a 24 hour period#and its never enough of course#im running out of money Again. i need to get commissions. i need to look into Some college that will accept#-me#which means itll probably be online. and i fucking suckkkk at studying from home#and idk how i'll balance study time and commission working time all on my own#with the awful attention spam and miserable executive dysfunction i got#the year has barely started!!!! im freaking out!!!!!!#i just want to move out of my mom's home and take testosterone. is that too much to ask
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truly this one's just for me. I can do what I want foreverrr
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#adaine abernant#figueroth faeth#kristen applebees#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#việt phục#tbh the thing Im the proudest of in these sets is the skirt hike+áo tấc flap combo. and of course that went to riz lol#will use that again for other things later down the line. for now we play dressup. come play dressup game with me#some of these couldve done with more cookin time maybe... I feel like. for example adaine's gorgug's and fabian's silhouettes are#a bit too similar for my taste#esp. adaine and gorgug. fabian I feel like I just need to make his waist more apparent#and I really like what Ive got with adaine rn... just gotta rethink gorgug#lmao. the dilemma with using áo tấc is it's generally a rectangle#this never stops me however. if I like a guy enough I Will give them a set#it's not about them it's about me. its for me babeyy#also I love the way scabbards are worn in wuxia. like its just dangling back there#guess the amount of fabrics those characters have on mostly immobilize it. just a real good cushion
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In honour of mha ending, have some old (and i mean OLD) miryumi scribbles i never got around to posting. They were the main characters in my heart
#these are like a year and a half old#ive been in the rarepair game for longer than some kids have been alive#it aint much but its honest work#i genuinely would be unable to explain the chokehold miryumi has on me after all this time#have they ever canonically interacted? no#(that i know of lol i havent caught up on the manga in over a year)#do they have anything directly in common? no#is there any reason i would ever have shipped them if i hadnt seen a habkart valentines post they never came back to? also no#did they proceed to occupy a permanent place in my frontal lobe forever? but of course#they really are THEE ship to me#peak comfort ship#i love that horikoshi developed them just enough for me to have solid base material for their personalities#but also gave them the woman in shonen treatment just enough that i can say anything i want about them and canon doesnt contradict it#anyways!! them again#fuyumi todoroki#rumi usagiyama#mirko#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#wlw#chiquilines draws
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a different deadly sin
#a doodley#every time someone posits the question of like ooo what deadly sin do you most embody#my brain of course always goes to lust or sloth.#envy. its envy. its envy.#but idk. i can be and am happy for others in many cases#''im glad something good happened to you it will eventually happen to me too i hope''#but when i *do* feel envy its all consuming. and you already know what i feel it toward.#i dont understand how it doesnt affect others as much.#like what do you mean. is it because you also have it? i think i would still be envious then...#maybe we can throw greed in there too.#i need it. i need it so so much and i need so much of it i fear it will never be enough.#i covet it so badly it makes me feel sick of myself and my life and the choices i continue to avoid#why am i the only person it feels like acid to. i am once again othered.#i dont understand why its like this!!!!#im happy for you. but. but. but. but.#OH WAIT I REMEMBERED THE OTHER THING I WANTED TO ADD#Its a present envy bc idk. i love life and i want to *live*#even if i got all i wanted tomorrow i could still look at other people in (specific situation) and still be envious#because like. well i wish my life had led to that. i wish those were my circumstances. why could it not have been me. with them. etc
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Unexpected reunion
#my art#mdzs#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mo dao zu shi#qin su#jin rusong#Qin suuuuuu#I’m on my Rusong bulshit train#Dont you dare think I forgot about his mom#I love his mom more than his dad does#where is this? idk I just want them to hug#maybe in the fic I’ll eventually write#maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t think jgy had nothing to do with rusong’s death#Is it possible that he had nothing to do with it? Of course that’s the whole point.#We will never really know#Maybe he just didn’t try hard enough to save him#Let fate take its course#Qin su would never really know#her husband spent 13 years lying to her#who says he won’t lie about this?#but I think that would be nice in that in some world she could be with her son and his memory isn’t marked tragedy and uncertainty
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standing in front of a firing squad would have been easier than reading this script i need to be shot
#this is hands down the most insane script ive read i was sitting slack jawed half the time#not because its Outrageous but because. oh my fucking God#frank sure does have too much influence over *gestures broadly* This.#to see their dysfunction presented like this. is. so.#like. of course the reason they cant be nice to each other is because they all expect some kind of Trick. we see this again in s12#they've set a precedent where everyone is unable to be vulnerable out of fear that someone else is going to take advantage of them#its about knowing to Never let their guard down. because they can't afford to be stupid enough to think someone was being nice#its literally about them not trusting each other. they know each other. care about each other. but they're all still at war with each other#anything could be a trojan horse#and even when they try to do something thoughtful it's ruined bc their motives are being questioned and that provokes a defense#''of course i wasn't being Nice that's stupid why would i ever do that for you'' because otherwise theyre leaving themselves open to attack#i think this episode works purely because theyre All trying to change this at once and since theyre all aware of that fact#its like oh okay youre not fucking with me because we've established we're all trying not to be cynical#i cannot even begin to dig into the pure autism of this entire. not even just the episode premise. the whole basis of the gang's dynamic.#like yeah of course a group of weird neurodivergent people is hypersensitive to this#its the same thing as mac and dennis in suburbs questioning wally's intentions/demeanor welcoming them to the neighbourhood#literally in defense mode all the time because they expect the worst from people and they haven't had any reason to think otherwise#marder and rosell get it but thats not exactly new and surprising <3#but wow this script adds so much. at least for me.#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#ada speaks#character meta#for good measure
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I'm going to be asking a lot of artists I follow this question, but how did you develop your style? It SEEMS like most people find their style and stick with it forever, just making improvements and iterations. I tend to work in a lot of different styles because I enjoy doing that, though I know there are things I gravitate towards as well. But I wonder what your journey was and how you got feedback and improved while staying true to what you enjoyed?
Hi there!
I definitely wouldn't say that I've found my style and stuck with it forever-- I feel like each of my projects has asked for a certain kind of art, and has presented new challenges that push me in new directions.
Some of that comes from seeing someone else's work and having something click into place that might fix errors/faults in my own, and then I might try to incorporate that, such as bigger outlines on my characters to help distinguish them from the background, or maybe a way someone else simplifies eyes that can help make mine look less weird.
When I first started drawing, I can see where I encountered certain influences because my sketchbooks suddenly switch to incorporating some new stylistic element that I liked from whatever I was reading/watching at the time. But it was never QUITE right, it was never just copying, there was always something ~wrong~ with it. And that wrongness was my style! As much as I hated it, that was what distinguished my art from being just a copy of someone else's. I hate it less now, and understand that other people see something there that maybe I don't, because it's just what happens when I filter other people's work through my head. My soul, if you will.
There are definitely through-lines with my work, driven by what I like drawing and what comes easily to me-- hatching is almost always a major component, and I like making expressive characters. Here's some of my earliest available stuff, from my old webcomic:
Then not long after that, I started The Last Halloween, which pushed me to challenge myself in both layout and style:
And here's the same comic, years later:
And here's a series I did for kids, where I had to use full color and lay off on the hatching, as well as learn how to reconstruct animals that we have no photo references for, which is definitely a place where style comes majorly into play, whether I wanted it to or not:
Then there was the horror book I did, where I tried to push my work to be less cartoony overall, and to work very hard on improving my hatching:
Then I started work on Scarlet Hollow, where I incorporated a limited/muted palette and had to once again push myself to make less-cartoony art, as well as learn more consistency so I could draw sprite sets. This was a big challenge for me, and has helped me grow as an artist so much!
And most recently, I wrapped up work on Slay the Princess, which required that I go back in the cartoony direction, but in a very different way than I was used to. This took a lot of sketching to figure out, and there's still a decent amount of artistic stumbling in Chapter 1 while I settled into it.
She's drawing on anime/Disney influence, but each Princess required a bit of stylistic variability. Some are more anime, while some are more realistic than even the Scarlet Hollow characters.
So I wouldn't worry too much, honestly! A person's style is often something that reveals itself over the course of their career, rather than something they choose and then try to stick to forever.
Even if you don't think you have a style, you do. It might vary a lot piece by piece, especially if you're trying to closely imitate another person's art, but the more work you do, the more you'll figure out your own strengths and interests!
#long post#my art#junior scientist power hour#the last halloween#abby howard#scarlet hollow#slay the princess#once you work long enough on art#style starts to feel more like modes you switch in and out of#all based around a core of what you're good at and what you can do#which in itself will change sometimes!#and of course your style with different mediums is gonna be different too#like slay the princess is pencil which is why it looks more distinct from my other work#never forget that at its core art is about messin around#wait shoot i should've put all this in the post#but it's long enough as it is
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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another addition to the list of fics i would love to see but dont really want to write: timkon "one of them has a crush on the other's secret civilian id without knowing it's them" but it's tim hopelessly pining for conner kent. he has no idea the supers have secret identities at all, let alone who they might be. conner kent is just a normal farmboy (who he happened to meet via convenient circumstances). just a normal kid who lives on a farm with his sweet old country (grand)parents and his rambunctious dog. just a normal guy! ...right?
#rimi talks#enough ''the bats know all the secrets''. tired trope. its time to blindside those bitches. pull the rug out from under em#also tim would simply Never mention conner kent to superboy. which is funny to me.#of course this is a very silly lighthearted au that ignores both of them needing to languish in the closet etc etc#or something. maybe they still do but this is from a version where the superfam simply keep ironclad secrets from early on#so it takes longer for kon to be able to share that with yj. which could also be a fun take. he'd haaate it#see im overthinking it this is why i don't want to write it. but as a little romcom i think it'd be fun. subvert that trope babey!!!!#timkon#tim#kon
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heyyyy dennis why are you walking so far apart from the rest of the group.... dennis..dennis?????
#just this frame of him looking over at The Rest Of Them is still enough 2 plunge me into the pit of despair#litrlly was watching this live and going ok but its not a happy ending right. and it wasnt. god. vindication. but of course it wasnt#dtamhd pisses me off cuz i just have to watch this frame but as a whole episode#ross maloney pray we never cross paths#also both eps have their car meta. and we all die#i need to watch these two eps back to back
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happy pride to my beautiful princess and her loyal knight
this was supposed to be a piece based on a percabeth wedding theyna fic but i was sad Thalia wasn't wearing a suit. so i got possessed again, and then pride month rolled up ! here we are
#again. outfits arent my thing right#but i hope it looks good enough#Thalia's hand looks. scrumptious . to say the least#also yes Thalia is missing her diadem but hear me out#like its silly bc its just fanart of course but IN MY HEART??? you have no idea whats going on in here man 🚬🚬🚬#in the rewritten canon IN MY HEAD she leaves the Hunters after Jason dies. and Reyna never joins (im not even there on the story yet oops)#(i fucking KNEW she would join though ffs my YURI NOOOOOOO)#and they hashtag slowburn it up#I RAMBLE A LOT. sowwyy#anyway i just thought it would be disrespectful to the whole Huntress vow thing since Thalia's very clearly pursuing love#so i don't draw her diadem yayyy#PJO HOO TOA#Thalia Grace#Reyna Avila Ramirez Arellano#Theyna#my art#prideposting
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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2023 | 99
#(don't read the tags if you don't want to hear any fandom negativity whatsoever)#this is an old one i never planned on ever posting‚ but i'm currently rewatching seasons 4 and 5 and i'm retroactively so mad again#that i let one slightly antagonistic sounding post ruin the entire character for me and this is the best outlet i have for venting about it#(best as in most selfish since a drawing is more likely to catch people’s attention as opposed to a simple wall of text)#brilliant character design‚ an interesting personality that is so fun to play with in fan creations and a fascinating addition to the canon#both for the drama and its core themes#despite this as much as i tried to i just couldn't bring myself to like him#he just doesn't appeal to me in a fandom way#but neutral with a hint of appreciation for his canon role would have been a good enough opinion to leave it at#but nooo my oversensitive ass just had to see the one fucking post amongst millions of random less than 20 notes bsd posts#that happened to shame me for this exact thing (that i already felt guilty about mind you)#and i just had to take it sooo fucking personally#of course. what a reasonable fucking reaction to have to harmless little fandom chit-chat.#believe you me‚ no one wants me to be a sigma fan more than me#i fucking wish i could scrub seeing this post from my mind...#it's been over a year and i can still feel the rage boiling up just thinking about it#at least all that rage had turned inwards fairly quickly and i unblocked the poster and rebloggers soon after#but still... what a fucking embarrassing reaction to have...#every time i engage with the actual series i can feel that i still love it very deeply#i'm near tears at the end of episode 51#yet still i let stupid little things like that dampen my enjoyment of it#truly pathetic.
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black mask sumire
#cele doodles#but its not enough. its never enough. of course it cant be that simple right? but i tried anyway. and if one person's blood is on my hands#surely i can do another and another and another. maybe things will change. they dont. of course they dont. how could they change for someon#like me?#black mask sumire au#<- placeholder tag.. SIGH
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i loooove when ocs unrealized development makes them feel like real people like no i dont know whether talon is genuinely attracted to women after years of both clinging to them for safety and years of putting them onto that untouchable idealized Perfect Protector Pedestal that must remain untainted by any bad experiences, so he doesn't even try to Be With any. He doesn't know either
#like i heart bisexual men so part of me is like no yeah he does like women. he literally loves women#>what if this is just love as general blind devotion solely on the basis of them not being men#we all know he likes men without much of what would be societal shame but he still grapples with it in that personal way#in the if i like men it means i like them despite what happened to me -> i secretly like what happened to me way#talon like i like men and women but i could never spend my eternal life with a man. as a way to just focus on one thing (finding said women#instead of letting himself think about anything else at all#oc text#ill let it float into my mind but idk because this would mess up his original plot before i kept him#though tbh i want to keep keeping him idk if ill ever let him go back home ykwim. long gone concept at dis point he's mine now. ours#talkys#also this makes things more interesting too in the way of#well it was previously thought that talon has a great interest in [smunker] because of smunkers Body#a sort of unintentional and subconscious rejecting of [smunker's] gender and seeing him#as not a man#now its like. what if its not that. it rly is just sole attraction to men because well al is also a pretty feminine guy#views challenged because no‚ men one way (bad) and women another way (good)#but theres TWO guys here who exhibit femininity so he's like wait hold onnnnnn waittttt#that subconscious conflict still exists though in the fearing al (at first) due to his body and both terrorizing and clinging to [smunker]#because of his#the terrorizing because talon sees his original self in smunker (weak and youthful‚ cherubic‚ naive)#theres so many layerssss#anyway yes. loving women as in of course i love women. beautiful and they keep me safe#but not in any way further than that... i love them i can and will kiss them and do much more but it doesnt feel The Same#i dont think i actually even have any fully gay guy characters [EXCEPT MAYBE THE SELF? LMAO IDK] bc i love bisexual men so much#groundbreaking...#wait sorry more oc rambling this actually would also make sense too because how i imagine talon with women is exaggerated#complete personality change to be pleasant and pliable and you can do whatever you want to me#when its also known that the reason he ''acts out'' with al and [smunker] is because he feels safe enough to drop any and all masks to do s#hmmmmmmmm i must keep thinking
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most people may have moved on from the cherik dazzler rockumentary date but i havent. Not now not ever
#snap chats#‘snap please its almost 5am’ ssssssshhhh read my text post#for months ive wanted to at least make animatics- or AN animatic for one of the squirrel girl calls#honestly might be the sabretooth one. oh im sorry the ‘sweetooth’ one#literally stopped typing this just to go check to make sure the call had both the pun and the rockumentary mention IT DOES#best call idc. i mean theyre all peak ofc but that one makes me giggle the most#i wouldnt wanna animate/storyboard ALLLLLL of it… just enough to satisfy the brain#like ill ever have time for that ANYWAY i still think them watchin a rockumentarys cute…#real quick why erik sound so nefarious when hes like. ‘ i made them give me more gigs >:)’ like girl 😭😭#i can SO CLEARLY see him smirk proud as hell i cant stand him. thats my grandpa im baking cherry pie for him#GIRL YOU KNOW CHARLES WAS TRYING NOT TO DIE LAUGHING ON THE OTHER END IDC#im also never over the fact he really was listening in for AT LEAST one of the calls. what an asshole#letting his man embarass himself live on the radio he really is evil wow tiktok was right#anyway marvel im gonna need a miniseries dedicated to Pure Old Man Nonsense Old Man Yaoi#please let them watch their dazzler rockumentary in peace…. erik finally has more gigs :(#fuckin things gonna stop buffering every twelve seconds PLEAAAASSEE CHAT#PLEASE I CAN IMAGINE THIS POOR DUDE GETTING SO FED UP WITH NETFLIX BUFFERING EVERY FIVE SECONDS#charles tryna trll him its no big deal but nay… of COURSE its a big deal…. just like getting disrespected at home depot….#god not a day goes by where i dont think of the squirrel girl calls theyre literally timeless and perfect i love them so much#i always think of pinning my com info but no i need access to those calls at all times#esp cause the og file was on my old computer.. and is gone forever now… haha…. :(#ANYWAY im gonna finish this cup of tea and then sleep for three hours BYYYEEE#i love my silly old men….. im gonna giggle and think of all the silly comics i wanna draw of them ….
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