#and not in a fun way

[bennetsbonnet]

Much has been made of Mr Darcy's "confession" to Elizabeth that he does not converse easily with strangers. It is repeatedly used to support neurodivergent interpretations of his character. And I suppose that when taken at face value, a character confessing that they do not easily converse with strangers and struggle to catch their tone or appear interested in conversation can absolutely scream AUTISM! (I say as an autistic person myself)

But this line is often taken in isolation. When considered in terms of the passage in which it appears in Chapter 31, it appears far less of a smoking gun than may initially be suspected. After some discussion about Elizabeth and Darcy's prior acquaintance in Hertfordshire, Colonel Fitzwilliam asks Elizabeth for information about Darcy's behaviour there. She readily supplies it:

'Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.' 'You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball—and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.' 'I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.'

What Darcy leaves out here is that it was he himself who chose not to be introduced to anybody. As we learn from the description of his behaviour at the Meryton assembly in Chapter 3:

Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.

Anyway, Elizabeth correctly does not buy his excuses. Not only does she respond with a cutting sarcastic remark, but she tries to bring the discussion with an end by speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam:

'True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball-room. Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders.'

But Darcy does not get the hint and continues conversing with Elizabeth rather than quitting while he's ahead. However, I don't believe him to be missing a social cue here. Rather, this is an exceedingly conceited man who cannot conceive that anyone would not want to speak to such a Superior Being as he and more-so, is determined to defend himself from a perceived slight against his impeccable character.

Then we come to the passage containing the oft-cited line which allegedly contains proof of his neurodivergency:

'Perhaps,' said Darcy, 'I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.' 'Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?' 'I can answer your question,' said Fitzwilliam, 'without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.'

Once again, Elizabeth does not buy his excuse for even a single second. She's fully aware of all the advantages a man such as he will have received in society (opportunities not open to women, might I add!) and draws attention to that fact. It's a brilliant, cutting line from her and she really set that one up for Colonel Fitzwilliam to deliver the knockout blow.

Not only do we have the testimony of Mr Darcy's cousin, that 'he will not give himself the trouble,' to appear cordial to strangers, but we have evidence from Wickham too. Although after this statement, Wickham quickly goes onto misrepresent Darcy's kindness to the poor, which contradicts Mrs Reynold's later testimony, I do believe Wickham to be telling the truth (for once!) here, when he tells Elizabeth in Chapter 16:

'Mr Darcy can please where he chooses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while.'

Which, again, demonstrates that Darcy is capable when he wants to be. That is the crucial point. Autistic people fundamentally lack the ability to understand social cues, they cannot turn it on and off as they please because they are snobs.

So, now we come to the infamous line about Darcy's supposed social struggles, and I hope that I've provided enough context to the line to make you see that it should not be taken at face value:

'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,' said Darcy, 'of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.' 'My fingers,' said Elizabeth, 'do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.'

Again, Elizabeth is not buying his excuses for even a single second and tells him if he feels like that, maybe he should put the effort in. She has seen him in numerous social settings and been thoroughly unimpressed with his behaviour which, when you consider his rudeness to her at the Meryton assembly, she has every right to be.

So, what do I make of the line?

Well, I think it's abundantly clear that Darcy absolutely can speak to people when he wants to. Perhaps, in his mind, he struggles to make that deeper connection and make friends easily. But making friends is not always easy, it's a process you must invest time and effort into. If you do not do that, it stands to reason that you will struggle. Plus, if you hold others to ridiculous standards (as Darcy does) without recognising and fixing the flaws within yourself, you're not going to have deep, lasting friendships.

While this quote may appear to be a moment of vulnerability where he does confess a fault of his, which is astounding given his pride, personally I do not think it was not a soul-searching exercise. It was to make Elizabeth stop grilling him. It was self-serving. Although, I don't think he's entirely lying. Darcy is veeeery careful with his words and though this statement is not considered and perhaps comes out rather abruptly, it doesn't necessarily follow that it isn't true. I can imagine that it is probably something he's felt for a while, yet it is a rather desperate attempt to defend himself from a woman who sees right through him.

I think perhaps Darcy does realise that he isn't as naturally gifted as other men he knows (such as Wickham, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley) when it comes to forming acquaintances. However, he looks outwards and turns that bitterness against the world rather than looking inwards, reflecting upon himself and improving his manners which would be the correct thing to do. Thankfully, he later does this, but it took him twenty eight years...

In addition, Darcy appeared to have been under the illusion that he could coast by on Pemberley's reputation... which has always worked... until he met Elizabeth. For perhaps the first time, he encounters a woman who is not awestruck by him and his reputation and delivers the rebuke that he always needed.

So, while personally I'm inclined to believe there is some truth to his statement, as Mr Darcy is many things but he isn't a liar, I think it is said in desperation. His feeling stems from him knowing what he should do, but he can't be bothered to enact it... rather than any inherent social deficiency stemming from being neurodivergent.

Although, even if he does struggle socially, it's still no excuse for the rudeness he displayed to Elizabeth! My main issue with neurodivergent readings of Darcy is when they are deployed to defend his behaviour, when they attribute his rudeness to any potential neurodivergency and when they excuse his laziness. That is an awful message! Autistic people who struggle with social cues often do not, nor should they, go around insulting others. They should and often do put plenty of effort into being considerate and polite. In fact, I think, if anything, a love of rules makes us more likely to have good manners, rather than the reverse.

Ultimately, I'm not sure this line makes Mr Darcy the sympathetic-poor-sweet-innocent-shy-boy-autistic-representation that people want him to be. In fact it makes him look even worse, if anything. On matters such as these, he is every inch the conceited proud man he was widely believed to be at the Meryton assembly. Luckily, Elizabeth is an incredibly smart woman, who doesn't fall for it and immediately calls him out on his behaviour in a way that he has never experienced before. As she should!

[feelbokkie]

i’m so glad that chan only lurks on staytwt and not stayblr bc i know that man would find my account somehow and i’d be fucked

[cuddytism]

"i only liked amber after she started dating wilson" what if i bit you actually. like really hard.

[pirateprincessjess]

Marvels Ultimatum is regarded by many as the worst comic book story marvel has ever published.

Hilariously the first issue ends with the words “NEXT: IT GETS WORSE”

The writers meant to imply that magnetos evil plan gets worse, but instead it ended up being an accurate prediction of the quality of the story

because holy shit it gets worse

[chiariuchiha]

List of people who are probably going to get banned from the hot springs for drowning people : 1 person

[cosmini]

WHO THE FUCK CALLED PENELOPE A TRAMP. MEET ME TONIGHT AT TESCO'S CARPARK YOU LITTLE BITCH. I WILL CURVE STOMP YOUR HEAD

[strang3lov3]

Hey!!! I found your account about a well ago and I am obsessed with your Joel fics!

Something has been on my mind though and I need to know!

What if Joel accidentally got his daughter pregnant, what would he do? And how would he react?

- 🫃

Hi my darling, thanks for hanging out :)

Abortion immediately, probably. I’ve mentioned it here and there but I have zero interest in writing pregnancy in an incest dynamic because I think that’s where the fantasy ends for me. Even fictionally, I wouldn’t want to bring a child conceived by father + daughter into the world because I imagine there would be a lot wrong there.

But yeah, Joel wouldn’t be angry, I don’t think. It’s human nature to want to fuck, and then it’s natural for fucking to result in pregnancies. They did what they could to prevent it, that’s why reader’s on birth control (probably should’ve snipped Joel though, tbh. Maybe that could be a fic itself) and accidents happen. They’d just take care of it at the clinic. I guess this is also an AU where Texas hasn’t banned abortion, Jesus fuck.

[ivanttakethis]

This better be the only shot of Ivan’s branding that we get. Otherwise, I’m going to cause a scene.

[setmeatopthepyre]

channeled my gay audacity into restitching my leather boots and now I'm covered in sweat and shoe polish and my hands hurt

[t-lostinworlds]

i'm so tired it's not even funny anymore

[soft-husbands]

You guys weren’t kidding about John’s rolled-up sleeves. There it is again. #spoilerpics

Maybe he’s trying to be a power ranger every time he rolls his sleeves up instead of getting cool powers he’s just “a medic” and does very mediocre and boring villainy things

[midwestcannibal]

having to continuously explain to friends that we can’t watch an episode of a show together bc i’m not going to be normal about it is so unbelievably cringe but i rlly. cannot handle it

[the-media-pit]

personally i'd be pissed if i didn't like playing soccer and i ended up going down in a plane crash in the woods

[thehollowprince]

I have to say, this situation actually does remind me of the whole situation with St*r*k and Tyler Posey in the Teen Wolf fandom. It was the exact same situation. Where St*r*k fans were writing torture porn about Posey's character, sending him death theats (to the point where he had to hire a private investigator) and openly mocking his mother dying of cancer, and the rest of that ship's fandom simply shrugged their shoulders and said "Doesn't have anything to do with me." Same thing is happening here.

[colourofthekites]

god I need someone to crack my back like a stubborn glowstick