#and now i can't hardly... it's...
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turns out chronic disability means you're disabled chronically. more shocking news at 11.
#this post brought to you by#the struggle i keep having with realizing exactly how bad things have gotten#it's been a downward trend since at the latest 2017 and i'm...#not handling the distress about that super well right now#like i know it started earlier than that but things really kicked off around then#and just.... it just keeps getting worse i keep not being able to things i know i used to be able to do#whether or not i should have listened to my body and not done them previously is in fact irrelevant#because i did them anyway#and now i can't hardly... it's...#i'm like. really looking forward to going to the dunes next weekend#partially to be out of the house for a significant length of time to do a solely fun set of activities (specifics unknown)#and partially just to feel like i've done *something* to earn the days i'm going to need to take to recover#it's.... it's not always a thing i really am concerned with because i honestly don't mind staying home a lot#it's just when i *want* to leave i can't and that's... that's harder#i mean it's mostly cabin fever i'll be real i'm probably just feeling a little cooped up#but it's not MY fault the entire out of doors wants me dead and unable to breathe#i *want* to be outside but the outside hates me specifically#so i gotta be careful about it
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I just recently learned a cat fact that is so Robotnik coded that I had to share.
When cats headbutt you, they're doing more than just saying, 'I like this human'. They're essentially scent marking them, letting other cats in the area know that 'This one right here? Mine. This is my human now.'
I imagine Ivo would do something akin to that without really thinking about it once he finally accepted Stone into the lab. Maybe not nessicarily headbutts, but random shoulder pats/bumps/checks, leaving pieces of his own clothes on the backs of chairs so the smell rubs off on him, sets an air freshner around Stone's work area that smells like his own home.
Ivo can see that he's doing it and recognizes the patterns. But he can't fathom for the life of him, why he keeps on doing it. Stone is confused, and wonders if the doctor thinks he smells bad.
I like to think he does this regularly!
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#stobotnik#agent stone#doctor ivo robotnik#sonic movie universe#rob: i've told you i don't like the smell of your shampoo!#stone: i've changed it twice doctor please if you could tell me which brand to-#rob: the one i use!#stone: ... alright sir#and he does shit like this until stone smells just like him#he thinks to himself hahaha#i don't have to adapt to new smells now#but at some point HE changes some product to match the one stone uses#and he goes huh#cat behavior indeed#fics in which one character turns into a cat are some of my favorites#however i hardly can bring myself to draw things about it#it feels a bit too cringy if i do it#but imagine stone would go wow. an ugly cat. anyway no time for that the doctor vanished#oh ugly cat i can't believe i lost him again
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Today's performance with Wang Yifei, Zuo Yiping and Guo Hongxu <3 LC-mu knows how to resurrect me, my mental health is holding only thanks to them.
#my art#when no one got me I know lc mu got me#damn I was in my dying mode and THEY JUST BROUGHT ME FUN#UGHHHHHHH i love them so much#link click#shiguang dailiren#shiguang#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#qiao ling#for the last few months I touched a pen maybe 2 or 3 times#the world is about to collapse and if I die tomorrow I am happy to be alive today where such a thing as this musical exists#I still hardly find a will to draw even though I know I have a lot of stuff to be drawn#but I just...can't.#trying again and again for nothing#so now I'm just happy it inspired me enough for this little piece#i still want to believe things will be better
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"I'm not kinkshaming anyone, I'm just trying to distinguish myself from all those gross disgusting degenerate perverts over there!"
Thanks. I really appreciate being excluded and shamed on this app because I'm not a puritan who only enjoys exclusively chaste and fluffy sfw scenarios. You all are such a welcoming and tolerant community for the extremely narrow niche of what you define as "acceptable." Sorry for being such a depraved and disgusting person. Guess I'll fuck off now.
#macro/micro#i hate the fact that I don't belong in either the g/t or macro/micro community#i can't separate out g/t and macro/micro because the line you've drawn between them is completely arbitrary#been thinking about deleting my tumblr account for a long time now because of this type of bullshit#i have both in my stories#i like both#i don't have a problem at all with people having their own preferences#but excluding others and shaming them is not the way to go#the only reason I'm still here is because i have friends on here#i don't care if i burn bridges at this point i hardly get any engagement anyway#g/t#I'm sorry this is kind of a vent feels like everything i post on here is just dead in the water because i don't fit in any boxes
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Also sorry it's been an entire day and I can't stop thinking about Alistair being in a dungeon and marking 47 days on the wall, deciding he's descended into madness, and feeling surprised he hasn't yet grown a beard. Only for Hendry to say he's been there for 14 hours, many of which he was asleep during. He is the biggest drama queen in the world and I love him
#that scene was just so funny#And it's such a good scene because it's so in character#you can't have a character like alistair who takes himself SO seriously as a villain and pretend he's NOT a drama queen#of COURSE he is. he has to be#he tells scary stories. He has a monster complex. He does villain monologues in his head and out loud#obviously the second he's powerless he's gonna turn into a tortured hermit who's surely already dead#anyway I simply cannot stop thinking about him and Gavin (the least dramatic man in the world)#One born to be a monster one born to die both of them trying not to be what their families marked them as OUUUUG#their dynamic. the willingness to die and kill for each other but hardly for themselves. their little jokies :(#ok anyway I'm normal now (lying)#I'm not gonna write fic about them (also lying)#all of us villains
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snowy days ❄️☃️
#i feel so bad bc kendall is hardly in any gifs because he's CONSTANTLY at work#he's busy solving crimes!!#also i don't think at this point in the gifs he's been afflicted with the disney princess disease#but for a few days now in my game he's been constantly having birds fly around him?? and i can't get rid of them#ts4#sims 4#gif#ts4 gameplay#sims 4 gameplay#hargrove weston
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feeling a bit sad tonight
#i can't believe summer is basically over#i feel like i hardly spent time w friends n did anything really#like i know i did but still idk#and i'm sad because i feel so disconnected from everyone right now#like idk i feel like ive made so much progress this year mentally but i have no one to talk abt it with which is sad#and just in general the things going on in my life#they were onto smth when they said not to trust how u feel abt ur life after 9pm lol#i'm actually really looking forward to sept / autumn and im doing okay its just idk#diary#tiyas thoughts
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someone will remember us i say even in another time If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho - trans. by Anne Carson
#chanbig#bigchan#kinnporsche the series#kinnporsche fanart#kpts#kpts fanart#digital drawing#chan kinnporsche#big kinnporsche#artists on tumblr#userdarcey#userbeoncloud#thai bl#my art#memory of this sappho fragment hit me when i was looking at it and i. it changed the entire mood of the drawing. i can't deny it#me: ooh its so sweet and soft. [thinks of Them prior to their deaths. a moment of quiet together. a plea for remembrance.]#[knowing no one will know who they are they when they die. hardly anyone will mourn. it wont mean much - their deaths.]#[their bosses wont care. the narrative doesnt care.]#[which makes this moment of life mean so much more. to them. because if no one else cares. they have to]#[so. maybe one moment. maybe something of them will survive.]#[or it won't.]#[so they have to hold onto it. now.]
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interesting how often the ones claiming that galadriel's season 2 arc was perfect and everyone who doesn't think so is just too haladriel brainrotted or something are the same folks who openly say it's fine if she were to just... fade into the background in season 3 or disappear outright. sorry I actually do think it's sexist for galadriel to be introduced as the central protagonist only for her to be gradually phased out so that gil-galad and elendil or elrond or whichever legendarium dude can have more to do.
#I mean effectively s2 was elrond's 'turn' in that sense. lots of development for him that hinged on sticking gal in a holding pattern#(don't even get me started on the way brimby's ascension to a lead pov could only be done with gal's absence & tbh at sauron's expense too)#but now some of yall are like IT'S GIL-GALAD'S TURN & frothing at the mouth for even less of galadriel so that he can take the s3 reigns#'gil-galad is important because he's the king!' girl i do not care lmao and guess what neither do the normies#normies get invested in the characters and relationships + conflicts that they were following from the beginning - the touchstones#we're not making this up this is how television works#shows need that connective tether the foundational thing that stays consistent to build your audience#it's why louis in the amc iwtv show is not going anywhere in s3 - because he's been the heart and soul for 2 seasons#and you can't just discard him for the sake of adhering to book canon!#you can't swap protagonists around season to season and expect your audience to keep up. it's very very hard to get away with#i'd argue this is even more key in streaming series with the limited episode counts. there isn't *time* to dilute the focus so much#ugh anyway s2's arc for galadriel was rife with problems primarily because you could remove her from it and hardly change the overall story#she was in this weird limbo where she was intensely invested in the A Plot but barred from affecting or interrupting it#within the A Plot itself - eregion and sauron and celebrimbor - she effectively didn't exist#every active plot driving choice near her was made by elrond cirdan gil-galad adar celebrimbor. one after the other. she was a passenger#'it's fine for other characters to make choices tho!' not when it's the whole gd season kiddos#and what do you know viewership is down
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79(???) days until Charlie...
#mira draws stuff#fate charlemagne#charlemagne#fgo#fate grand order#fate extella link#charlemagne countdown#I can't remember the last time I drew his Extella Link alt outfit#Have I ever?? now that I think about it#Anyways I've exceeded 20 days!! I can hardly believe it#If you want to experience this picture properly go look up Lilith's Theme from GBF: Relink and play it while looking at this
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This Hudson and Rex season is starting to feel like S8 of The X-Files. Without the mystery because in this case we know exactly why Charlie is gone.
#(I don't know how to make this sound like not a complaint - this season is what it is and they can't do anything about it)#I think it was S8 when mulder was missing...?#I hardly remember it now I just remember the gut wrenching scene where scully finds him#I was like okay but he's alive... right? right???#and the aftermath... that was some agony and I don't cry in most shows but that fucking broke me#but honestly they could have 'stolen' the scene where mulder's fbi replacement arrives#and scully throws a glass of water at him like a queen#I'd watch that with sarah - I mean they'd have to make the guy extra unlikable for her to be justified to do that#so nothing like the new guy that appeared#but it would be awesome and then charlie later finding out that his always composed sarah did that... it would be gold#I'm not tagging this it's really unhinged shitposting - if you haven't watch xfiles yet and I just spoiled it that's on you
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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you guys really weren't kidding about how fucking good lake mungo is
#i think it just came out above ex machina on my list of favorite movies what the fuckkkkkkkk#technically i need to rewatch ex machina before deciding for sure but either way SUCHHHH A GOOD MOVIE AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#wait just remembered- i actually read the plot summary on wikipedia a loooooong time ago (but i hardly remembered any of it)#and having reread it just now after finishing the movie oh my GOD it does such a shitty job of conveying just how great this movie is.#what a dull clinical description what the fuck! please if you've ever read it and decided not to watch based on that#PLEASE give it an actual chance it is SO much better than wikipedia makes it seem.#it just doesn't (and CAN'T!) accurately portray just how truly haunting the movie is. a masterclass in how to tell a great ghost story#without relying too much on jumpscares or obviously horrific imagery (imo). just....wow.#and now for some screaming [🚨🚨🚨 brief spoilers incoming 🚨🚨🚨]:#SHE WAS THEREEEEEEE SHE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME IN EACH OF THE 'FAKE' PHOTOS/RECORDINGS OH MY GOD#AND EVEN THOUGH I TRIED *SO* HARD TO BE VIGILANT I NEVER SAW HER!!!! AND NEITHER DID THEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GOD I DON'T THINK ANY OTHER PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR MOVIE HAS EVER MADE ME FEEL THIS INSANE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ok i'm done. anyway cool movie haha#lake mungo#📺 tag#send tweet
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I saw Distant Frontier in my dreams tonight, am I doomed-?
#unfortunately it wasn't one of those cool cinematic dreams#and not all about Distant Frontier :“/#it was about me and some unknown “friend” building a pond in a big nonsensical garden at night#i would leave the “safe” paramiters of the garden to gather plants for us#when I returned and gave the plants to the friend#the scenery changed a bit and now we had a table in the garden#there sat a few more unfamiliar faces- and Distant Frontier with their back to me#then he turned around and looked me in the face- kind of... tired?#and I could not keep the eye contact#I remember saying something along the lines of “I can't look at you normally anymore”#and then I woke up-#I'm going to tag this because I have strange dreams often and I like to share them!#mary dreams#alright fine I'll tag#iterator logs#too- it's hardly related but there we go :“P
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#i love david soo much#my boyfriend david#david thewlis#remus lupin#I wanna lock you up in my closet when no one's around#I wanna put your hand in my pocket because you're allowed#I wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound#I wanna stay this way forever I'll say it loud#Now you're in#and you can't get out#You make me so hot#Make me wanna drop#You're so ridiculous#I can barely stop#I can hardly breathe#You make me wanna scream#You're so fabulous#You're so good to me baby#baby
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smoking that shit that made daf pork
#i took an edible for shits and giggles because i hardly ever seem to react to them and now i'm so emotional and overwhelmed and like.#spiritual. about Daffy and Porky i feel like i'm physically going to barf.#i wanted this post to be more dafpork related but i couldn't think of a screenshot. so imagine them#in related news i still can't believe TDTEBU exists#📝
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