#and people or fans who are holding off on their grief or otherwise hoping for a lack of guiltiness have reason to do so | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dcoraclestan · 7 months ago

Text

Untitled Batfam/Squid Game cross over fan fic

Summary: a sad fan fic where the batfam are in a squid games-esc game playing dodgeball and it comes down to Jason and Tim as the last players on each side but Tim is too scared to say anything so it’s up to Jason to decide whether his team lives or dies and I gave the surviving Robin crippling survivors guilt as they refuse to open their eyes and witness their brother dead on the floor.

Background info: This is chapter 3 of a WIP a few people asked me to post. Basically Bat fam in a squid games situation were forced to split up into two to play dodgeball. They didn’t get to choose the teams and they get one minute to strategize before the game started. The transparent wall kills anyone who crosses it. All of which is explained in chapter one that I haven’t written yet lol. Not important but the teams are Alfred, Tim, Stephanie, Damian, Roxy Rocket, Harley Quinn, Deathstroke, Penguin, and Two Face. The others are Bruce, Selina, Jason, Tiffany, Lucius, Kate, Riddler, Killer Croc, and Scarecrow. If there are any grammar mistakes, just know I’m illiterate. Enjoy!

Ever since they broke off into teams, Alfred had not taken his eyes off Bruce. And while Bruce had done an excellent job at hiding his grief for Dick and Luke, Alfred knew better. Bruce may have been putting on a Batman exterior, but his eyes held the same look as the recently orphaned eight year old latching onto his petticoat, unsure of how to answer Officer Gordon’s questions about his parents’ murder.

Unsure.

Seeing his younger master unsure was what terrified him the most. If it wasn’t for the transparent wall having split the court, Alfred would have been over with his adopted son helping him plan, but instead he was standing with his grandkids attempting to figure out what to do while those that terrorized their nightmares were trying to convince them to win instead of throwing the game.

“Oh please! Like they aren’t over there talking the same shit!” Penguin squawked. “They’re going to kill us all the second they get and be thrilled we’re dead!”

Stephanie clinched her hands, “we need to delay the game! As long as possible at least!”

Roxy laughed, “I’m with this one. Make it exciting!”

“Don’t be stupid,” Deathstroke snapped.

“Aw come on, Willy,” Harley pouted. “Don’t be mean. The poor girl just wants her fake family to rescue them! There’s no chance they will in time, but these hero types always have a hope in them that’s hard to shake.”

“Quinn,” Damian ordered, “please stop talking. We have less than a minute to plan.”

“Planning our own deaths,” Mad Hatter shot. “You hero types never pass up an opportunity to sacrifice yourselves for the greater good. No, we gotta throw all of them in the front lines and make sure they get out fast.”

“You want to throw the three most physically fit members of our team under the bus?” Deathstroke pointed out sarcastically. “Great idea.”

“Fuck you!” Stephanie snapped, raising a fist. “You had no problem pushing Dick down! If it wasn’t for you, he’d be alive!”

Deathstroke rolled his eye. “I told you, I slipped.”

Stephanie threw the first punch which lead to a loud argument of people holding each other back, screaming over each other, and otherwise preforming a mockery of teamwork. Alfred almost joined the fray before turning and noticing Tim was not in the circle. He was standing close to the barrier and staring ahead at the other team.

Alfred approached him, wincing from his now relocated shoulder. “Master Drake, is everything okay?”

Tim shook his head vaguely. “We’re going to die. All of us here. We’re all going to die.”

Alfred’s heart sunk into his stomach, but he kept a gentle expression. “Why do you say that?”

Tim gestured to Bruce in their much more cooperative group huddle. “Batman doesn’t know what to do. I’ve been watching him, Alfred. He hasn’t said a word in their meeting. He also hasn’t let any of us move far away from him. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. He’s trying to spend what little time he has left with us. I’ve seen him be less protective when Darksied nearly wiped all of humanity, but… he’s completely given up now.”

The lump in Alfred’s throat grew bigger. He placed his good hand on his shoulder and felt Tim shaking under his palm. “That doesn’t mean there’s no hope, Master Timothy.”

Tim shook his head. “Alfred, don’t try to pretend. We both know we’re not making it out of this school alive.”

Alfred didn’t know what to say as he secretly agreed. Fortunately, the whistle blew so he never had to come up with the words. “Planning period over. The game is about to begin. I repeat. Planning period over. The game is about to begin.”

Everyone got into a vague position to start. All of the inmates were at the front with the bat family further away from the center. Five balls dropped from the ceiling as a new ten minute timer started ticking down. The villains all ran for the balls and started throwing. Alfred and Lucius were not nearly young or healthy enough, and unsurprisingly were benched quickly. All the vigilantes were moving on instinct and muscle memory rather than a desire to live. Each time a ball got caught, someone else was called back in, but that was the only time the bat family spoke. Other than that, they were dodging as best as they could. The only two who were having any resemblance of fun was Harley Quinn and Roxy Rocket who couldn’t help but taunt and jeer at every person who got out. Once both were knocked out by a well aimed throw from Kate, the court was silent because of rule #3. It was obvious those on the bench wanted to say something, but none of them were willing to be shot just to make fun of someone being hit.

Reguardless of where they stood morally, both teams were all were nervous to be playing. All kept subconsciously glancing to Batman every few seconds for a way to get out of the situation entirely. Unfortunately, Batman was not playing the game. No matter how hard he tried, Bruce was the one on the court. Bruce found it impossible to ignore their glances at him for answers.

Similar to red light/green light, after each person was eliminated a whistle blew from no where and their name was called, except this time it wasn’t followed by a gunshot. That didn’t mean Bruce’s heart rate didn’t go up with each blow of the whistle. He kept seeing Dick’s face blown apart by a sniper rifle at too close range, hearing Luke’s chest ripped open by the same gun and Tiffany screaming in fear. Even Clayface and Bane perishing in an equally hideous display crossed his mind. He didn’t want anyone else to die, not even the Arkham inmates. It was senseless violence. All of it. Even then, as Two Face hurled a ball at Riddler’s bad leg with the intention of hurting him more, there wasn’t a reason for it.

Bruce kept trying to rationalize the scene. He was playing dodgeball in an elementary school with his family and enemies. That was the extent he could go. When he managed to get a ball in his hands, all he could think to do was roll it on the ground so no one got out. It was completely pointless. If that timer hit 0 everyone would be dead. Someone was going to have to decide who lives.

Bruce only became aware of his movements when he allowed himself to be hit by a disbelieving Tim who stood alone on the opposite side. Bruce didn't say anything and selfishly walked back to the stands. The ball that bounced off Bruce had rolled back to Tim’s side of the court, hitting his shoe.

“I-I thought he was gonna catch it,” Tim stuttered to the sole member of the other team.

Jason laughed humorlessly. “Bats not sacrificing himself for the greater good? You’re kidding yourself.”

Tim unsteadily picked up the ball at his feet, an unwilling passenger in his own body. He held the ball in his hand shaking violently but felt as though it was ten feet away. He could hear the countdown on the timer. He only had 42 seconds left on the clock. It wasn’t enough time. Less than a minute for half of his family to live. But which half? How does he choose? How could he? He was a teenager, a kid really. One side had more people, more members of his family. But he couldn’t let Damian, Alfred, or Steph die. But if he did let himself live with the others, the rogues had already declared their promise to kill them the moment Batman was dead. The inmates had a numbers advantage on them. They could easily overpower an elderly injured man and three kids who wouldn’t be able to defend themselves without Batman’s help. Tim felt everyone staring at him wanting to shout out their opinions and what he should do. He almost wished they could as it might have blocked out the sound of his beating heart.

“Jay… I can’t do this,” Tim whimpered, shaking where he stood.

Jason searched his mind for a sarcastic comment to shoot back at his brother to make him laugh, but he couldn’t come up with anything. “Tim… man, it’s gonna be alright,” Jason consoled.

“I… I can’t do it. I can’t. We’re all gonna die and it’s gonna be my fault but I can’t choose…”

“Don’t then,” Jason blurted out trying to give him some solace. “Throw it easy. I’ll either catch it or not. It won’t be your fault then, just mine.”

Tim shook his head, “no. We…. Jay it makes more sense for your side to live. Sacrificing yourself I get, but… the only way you have any chance to get out is Bruce and Lucius. We’re just kids over here, and they’re gonna kill us the second Bruce die-“ he stopped himself from finishing his sentence, having to take a deep breath to keep himself from completely breaking down. “But… I don’t want Damian to not grow up. I don’t want Steph to not see Cass again, I don’t want… I don’t want to-“ It was all he could say before sobbing.

“Tim,” Jason’s voice cracked. “There’s not enough time left…” Jason didn’t even realize he was talking, his lips moved without thinking. “E-either way one of us is dead. You don’t even have to choose anything! All of the balls are in your…are in your court, so no matter what… it’s me who has to decide…”

The gravity of it caught up to Jason in that moment. It really was up to him no matter what. Tim could throw whatever he wanted, but he had to either fight for his life or die for his brothers’. Tim was right. Unfortunately, there were more rational adults with more skills on his side. If there was any chance of getting out before the games ended it was with Lucius and Tiffany’s tech skills to override the locks, Selina’s stealth to steal a weapon, Kate’s martial arts skill, and Bruce’s planning. But that would mean…

Jason looked up and saw Steph smiling comfortingly and tears streaming down her face, Alfred standing dignified with Damian uncharacteristically vulnerable leaning up against his leg, refusing to look at the court. Tim was hugging the ball to his chest tightly, the only thing he could do at the moment, trying his best to keep from crying.

The clock was ticking down, now at ten seconds. Jason had to make up his mind quickly. He found Bruce’s eyes and quietly asked what to do. Bruce looked away and down at his hand in his lap clutching onto his wife’s. A small gesture that told Jason what he would do if the roles were reversed.

Jason turned to Tim and gave him a single nod. He had made his decision. Tim threw the ball up in the air and time seemed to freeze. All eyes were on the second Robin, watching his every moment. They saw his feet move to become more center with the ball, directly in its path.

There was the sound of the ball making impact. Jason closed his eyes and waited, the familiar feeling creeping up in him that death was about to come. Jason hated that the last image Tim would ever have of him would be of him shaking and terrified, but no matter what he did he could not manage to muster up a smile onto his face.

“It’s gonna be okay-“

BANG

No final words were granted. No goodbyes were given. One by one, the sound of bodies dropping to the floor echoed in the tiny gym. The former Robin’s eyes had shut tight with the first gun shot, not wanting to see his brother mutilated before him. He could feel his brother’s brain matter coating his hands and the blood soaking into his shirt but as long as his eyes were shut, everything was fine. As long as his eyes were closed his family was alive. As long as he didn’t look, almost all of his siblings were still standing.

He didn’t cry as he stood there. He couldn’t if he tried as his grip of reality started to pull away from him. This was his nightmare, his absolute nightmare. The former Robin couldn’t think of a worse scenario for him to be in. It was just up to him and his brother to choose the fates of his family. There was no way this was happening. Kidnapping almost his whole family to play children’s games to the death?! That’s completely insane. It may have been Gotham but-

Scarecrow.

It had to of been. He had to be under the influence of fear toxin. There’s no other way. It was the only thing that made any sense. It was all of his worst fears wrapped up into one. A high dose of fear toxin.

“This isn’t real,” he said out loud. “This isn’t real. This isn’t happening. This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real.” He repeated this over and over and over again, each time somehow shutting his eyes tighter and tighter, refusing to open them. He knew this couldn’t have been true, the timeline of events was too coherent to be a hallucination, but he could manifest it into being fake if he tried hard enough. He could make it true. He could make it so his brothers were alive. If he just repeated this, it would-

“It’s going to be alright,” a man’s voice said, clasping a firm hand on his shoulder. “You’re going to be alright.”

Jason snapped out of his trance to see the rubber ball still in his hands. There was the clear sign of skull and brain coating the outside of it, the last remainder he had of Tim. The transparent do-not-cross wall was already dividing the court, but Jason could not bring himself to look through it and instead stared down at the ball in his hand.

“I-I caught it…” Jason stated, holding it up to Bruce beside him. “I caught it.”

Bruce nodded, jaw tensed, swallowing a lump in his throat. “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Jason looked right through Bruce. “I caught it…” he breathed out and lowered his arms. “I caught it…”

Bruce didn’t say anything, but instead wrapped his arms around his son and pulled him in tight. Jason did not hug him back. He didn’t seem to have noticed at all that he had moved. The ball in his hands was the only thing grounding him to reality as it was a fact that he caught the ball. He saved Bruce, Selena, Tiffany, Kate, and Lucius.

He caught the ball.

“I caught it,” Jason was still repeating over and over as Bruce gripped him tighter. “I caught it.”

“Thank God you did!” Ed Nigma scoffed, limping down the stands. “I was worried you were about to do something stupid.”

Jason didn’t hear him. His chin was resting on his adopted dad’s shoulder. The ball was pressing in under Bruce’s ribcage but similar to the last living Robin, he didn’t notice anything other than Jason’s grip on this world slipping away as he kept stating how he saved his life. Bruce was already numb from the moment he turned around and saw his oldest son had been shot in the head. His daughter, father, and other two sons shared the same fate.

Jason still hadn’t cried nor stopped repeating himself. It might have been better if he did either. Bruce didn’t know what to do or how best to comfort him. It was Bruce’s fault he was like this. Bruce purposefully tagged himself out, not so Tim would have a chance, but so he didn’t have to make the final decision.

“I… I caught the ball,” Jason finally differed slightly from his script. “I caught the ball.”

“It’s going to be okay, Jason,” Bruce comforted. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Bruce wished his voice wasn’t so monotone. It might have helped if he has some emotion, angry or sad, or anything. But Bruce pushed down all of his pain, all of his feelings. He didn’t allow himself to grieve, not yet. Not only was it unproductive, but he knew once he started crying he would never be able to stop. He had to focus on what he had, and all he had was four people outside this game presumably trying to break them out, a wife who he loved deeply, his one living cousin, one of his oldest friends and his loyal daughter, and one surviving son right in front of him who was unable to cope with the decision he made and would haunt him forever.

“You did nothing wrong,” Bruce repeated. “It’s going to be okay. You did nothing wrong.”

Bruce didn’t know how long they stood there repeating themselves over and over, each one not interrupting the other.

Eventually, a gentle hand was placed on Bruce’s back. “Sweetheart,” Selina consoled, “we should probably go before they kick us out.”

Bruce did not make a conscious effort to let go of Jason, but he found himself walking towards the gym door all the same, one arm wrapped around his son to guide him.

Jason was still clutching the rubber ball in his hand when the voice announcement came on overhead. “No taking game items outside of the playing field. I repeat. No taking game items outside the playing field.”

Selina unwrapped herself from Bruce’s side, stopping Bruce from taking a step out the door. “Jason,” Selina cautioned gently.

Jason looked through her and held up the rubber ball just like he did minutes earlier to Bruce. “I caught it.”

Selina smiled as warmly as she could. “I know. I know you did. We have to leave it behind now. Is that alright?”

Jason’s eyes went to the ball where a fragment of Tim’s skull was practically glued to it with now dried blood. “I…caught the ball…”

Selina reached out carefully and placed her hands as best as she could so she didn’t touch any gore on it. “I’m going to take this from you. Can I do that?”

Jason watched his own hands unwrap themselves from the ball and have it settle in Selina’s hands.

“Thank you, Jason,” Selina thanked before going back to the stands and gently placing it down on the bleachers so it didn’t make a sound.

“Y-yeah…” Jason mumbled, still holding his hands out as though nothing had been taken from him.

Bruce rubbed Jason’s arm for comfort and continued walking down the hallway once Selina was next to him again. The only sound down the hallway was Jason’s mutters of catching a ball getting quieter and quieter.

“B-B-Bruce?” Jason asked as they neared the corridor to the kindergarten classroom.

“Yes?” Bruce responded.

“I…I think I’m done,” Jason admitted. “Yeah, I don’t want to play any more games. I’m gonna… I just want to go home.”

Bruce stopped in the hallway and turned to be in front of him with Selina stopping a step behind Bruce. Bruce suddenly did not see a 19 year old Jason Todd standing in front of him, but rather the 12 year old Boy Wonder who just wanted to do good in the world. He didn’t know what else to do other than kneeling down to his knee and grabbing Jason’s arms. Bruce couldn’t think of what to say, but somehow the words came out of him. “You made a hard choice back there, Jay. No one would deny that. There was no right or wrong decision, only one that-.”

“They probably felt how I did…” Jason muttered.

Bruce felt his heart shatter as Jason’s eyes finally focused on him. “I…I made them watch the clock tick down to their deaths. They didn’t deserve that.” Bruce froze, finally understanding what Jason had been trying to tell him. He watched as Jason’s eyes shifted away from reality once more and stared off into the abyss. “I caught the ball…” Jason began repeating again.

The first tear fell out of Bruce’s eyes without him knowing. They were silently streaming down his face, knowing for a fact that this was his fault. He left the decision up to Jason. This was Bruce’s doing. And he would have to live with that for the rest of his life.

#batfamily #batfam #fan fiction writer #fan fiction #red hood #Jason Todd #bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #dc fanfic #dc comics #dc universe #dcu #I made 3 friends cry with this but I lowkey think they’re lying to make me feel better #I have no regrets writing this #imo the only other chapter I have written is sadder than this but…#I have no idea how to format on this app so sorry

23 notes · View notes

amysgiantbees · 8 months ago

Text

Something in My Room

Thoughts as I go, spoilers...

Nut Supanut Lourhaphanich is a really great actor. I'm loving him in this and Pit Babe. He is so good at being sad especially. His crying when he can't get the design right, HEARTBREAKING.

Love the relationship between Phat and his mum. It's really the whole backbone of the show I feel.

*Women* Dream and Chris are so pretty!

Dream is AMAZING! I love her art! Love that she clearly uses her art to process. I was surprised to see that her passion is cartoon work. She said she was dabbling in it again. I wonder if it's easier for her to process the supernatural things she's seen through paintings rather than sketches? Although I'm not sure why that would be the case. She could just be into both. I LOVE her hair! Love that she has magical powers! I was a little confused if the ritual didn't work as well as she wanted because Nuan took some of her hair or for another reason though.

I could have a whole show about Dream. I'd love to get into her Jim Jones sounding father and their relationship. Love to see her have someone positive in her life who could teach her about spirits unlike her dad and Nuan. Plus Luck feels like he's from a whole other show with his aliens. Maybe they could even develop Luck and Dream's relationship so they seem like a proper couple and not, what I initially thought, the local cool girl and her incel stalker.

I feel like the themes are really well thought through in this. Like grief and letting go. Nuan and Chris are two different ends of the spectrum. Nuan can't let go of anything. Stalking the house of a man who she never dated and who isn't even living there any more. Then Chris is the other end of the spectrum, letting go aggressively. Phob is scared to get caught even looking at his father's stuff. She wants his things gone so bad. Then by the end they've all found a bit more balance. Phat especially, being the middle ground. Able to hold on to the memory of Phob while still living his life.

The ghost uncle is a delight.

The spotlight on Phob in the audience at the play! Incredible! It foreshadows the farcical nature of the play and how it's going to put a spotlight on Phob. Love it, it's the whole reason why I made this post.

The way memory, dream and reality all blend together is so interesting. Nothing is either one or the other. When Phat actively dreams he physically moves. The real play blurs to have the same aesthetic as the dream world. Phob even describes Ben's play as (paraphrasing) "his love life mixed with dreams and hopes..." I like how due to the lighting, the script isn't noticeable in Phob's hand when he's playing his part "right." Ben lying and performing in real life, trying to play a part constantly. The NOVA competition branding itself on making dreams into realities but being in reality killing them by being too influenced by tradition and money.

LOVE the interpretive dancing in Ben's play. It's very intense and stops any doubling up of information.

The long pauses between sentences drive me a little nuts. Especially when it's emphasised by an overdrawn out dramatic back and forth of the actor's faces with music. I get that it's just a particular style but it frustrates me personally. It's not just impatience but it gives a false sense of gravitas or importance to the moment. I keep waiting for something dramatic to happen but almost nothing ever does. It also makes the conversation seem a little less natural.

Similarity, I am not a fan of, I don't know if this is a trope, but when people refuse to explain themselves. Characters will say hear me out, hear me out a million times instead of actually just starting to explain. It feels like an off branch of the poor communication trope. I otherwise love getting to see the flashback of Phob with his mother but don't like that she just doesn't properly explain why she cares about the magazines. Especially since baby Phob kept asking why. It's just frustrating to me.

Haunting isn't straightforward in this which I like. Phob isn't just haunting Chris and Phat's house. Nuan is also haunting their house, an ever present eye as she secretly watches them. Phob is haunted by his own ghost, his mother. Dream is haunted by all the ghosts but also haunted by her father. His impact on society as well as her mother keeping his picture at the table. Uncle is being forced to haunt by his daughter. It's a form of grief and never letting go.

Phob's mother's message is devastating. I'm not surprised she doesn't want to move on. I can't imagine she could with that much hate in her heart. Heartbreaking that Phat's ending prayer/message to Phob starts off like her video did.

I love that art is an ever present part of everyone's lives. Everyone values art. Phat and his dad love film. Chris plays piano, and expresses her love for her son through it. Phob has fashion. Dream has art, which she uses to understand and share the supernatural things she's seen that she can't outright talk about. Nuan is very proud of her cooking. Phob's mother loved modeling so much that she hated her family forever for being part of the reason why she couldn't do it professionally any more. Ben is obsessed with his art so much he struggles to stop performing.

#something in my room #something in my room the series #thai bl #myanalysis

1 note · View note

3mcwriting · 2 years ago

Text

Any Fan's Dream, Part 8

Any Fan's Dream Masterlist

Synopsis:

When you look around and see Avengers Tower in front of you and Peter Parker beside you, you wonder how the hell you managed to get into the MCU.

Taglist: @secretly-sirens, @zeeader, @imdoingathingmom, @x-theolivia, @ainsley-official, @huntress-artemiss, @hoohoohope, @ourgoddessathena, @wiintaersoldier

Sorry if I missed anyone, please just message me again and I'll add you.

You rubbed your face, hands running down your face wearily. It wasn't that you felt bad(well, you kinda did, but that wasn't what had you looking so tired) it was that you hadn't slept in 48 hours and you were glad Peter had been gone yesterday because otherwise he would've made you sleep and your mind was far too occupied to rest.

You were running on anxiety and coffee, not the most healthy combination, but it kept you awake so whatever. You hadn't let yourself go completely though, showering to make sure you didn't get all stinky and nasty and "your" parents had made sure that you had eaten. You were thankful to them. They had been there for you the whole time, your mother taking off work yesterday and your father bringing you comfort foods. Both had made it clear that they were there for you when you needed someone, and you had never felt more grateful(even if it was bittersweet because you knew that your real parents would never do so).

You heard the knock at your bedroom door and responded with a: "Come in."

In walked Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, surprising you because you had thought it was one of "your" parents.

The smile on Natasha's face faltered when she saw the mess your room was in, and how exhausted you looked. Steve was so distracted by grief to notice the deep bags under your eyes, they were big enough to hold Tony's ego in.

"What happened?" Natasha asked, eyebrows knitted together, concern in her voice.

"I-" you rubbed the nape of your nape, "-don't know what you mean." You weren't sure what to say, not wanting them to see your distress at the situation and worried about revealing too much.

She gestured at you and your room and you forced a laugh. "Oh, that. Yeah, I'm not very good with keeping my room clean." You didn't even know why you bothered with trying to hide your emotions, there was no way Natasha bought your lies.

"So, uh, how did you guys get in?"

Steve answered you, "your mom let us through."

"Reluctantly," Natasha added, "I didn't think she was going to until your dad came to the door and started fan-boying over the old man." She jutted a thumb at the super-soldier at her side, trying to lighten whatever tense atmosphere permeated the room. It managed to bring a weak grin to your face, but had no effect on the distracted look on Steve's face.

"Oh, really?" you responded, "I hope that wasn't too bad, Steve."

The excitement your dad had felt was definitely understandable. You had almost passed out when you had hugged like, any, of the Avengers. But who could blame you? The people you had looked up to, the heroes, stood before you so what exactly was the right reaction?

"It wasn't." Steve's eyes seemed to focus on you for a second before darting away. "I came by to tell you that I'm leaving for a while."

Your lips twitched as you tried to keep up the fake smile, the effort a struggle mentally and emotionally just as much as it was physical. Oh, but you were used to that struggle, the hiding of your true emotions, a familiar battle that you grappled with long before appearing in the MCU. The only problem was, these people were not just classmates or passing strangers, they were your heroes.

You knew exactly why he was leaving for a couple days.

Peggy.

Or as you really should say, considering the woman was one hell of a badass and deserved your complete and utter respect, Agent Margaret Elizabeth Carter.

She had just died.

After the Sokovia Accords discussion, Steve had received a call, exactly like in the movie.

"Oh," you spoke softly.

You let your smile drop, hoping that they wouldn't question the abrupt change in expression and would leave it at the fact that Steve was leaving. You were sad that he was leaving, but your sorrow was more from how much pain he was in than in that you wouldn't see him for a little while. Not even mentioning the massive amount of grief that hit you when you thought about her. She was a hero to you, like the others, but she was such a badass and didn't take any shit about being a woman. She was a role-model for you and it broke your heart that she was gone.

He left, barely looking at you as he stepped through the doorway. His shoulders were stooped, almost like he was folding in on himself in the hopes that he would shrink to nothing. In the moment before he turned away from you, you couldn't get over how vulnerable he looked. Even before the serum when he was 90-something pounds of righteous fury he still had this strength to him. Sure, he wasn't built or tall and his body was frail, but he was never a weak person.

Your eyesight began to get blurry, causing you to blink rapidly in the hopes of stifling your tears before you broke down again. It wasn't fair, you had finally managed to calm yourself and now this brought tears to the surface so quickly.

You managed to hold back until Natasha left, her concerned actions not going unnoticed by you and only making it harder for you to hold back tears. It wasn't easy, but after they were both gone, you managed to calm down completely and center yourself without breaking down again.

You steeled yourself, breathing deeply and steadying your erratic breaths. Crying was fine, it was healthy. Everyone needed to break down sometime so they could build themselves back up and it was your time to get to work. Natasha, Tony, Steve....they had all helped you get through tough times back home, they had saved you more times than you could count, and now it was your turn to save them.

You walked into the workroom, a frown on your face when you looked around and Tony wasn't there. Every time you had come into the workroom, Tony had been there, he never left you alone(he was afraid you'd blow up the building after....that's not important) so it was beyond weird that he wasn't there to greet you.

You checked your phone, looking to see if you had received any messages from Tony to stay home. Your last messages with him were still the same though.

3 days ago

You: i wont be able to go in for a couple of days

Stanky Playboy: ok, just text me when you're coming back

You: k

2 days ago

Stanky Playboy: how are you, kid?

You: im good hbu

Stanky Playboy: I'm fine

You: cool

47 minutes ago

You: im coming in for the internship today

Stanky Playboy: about time. I need someone to be sarcastic with, kid.

You cringed at how dry the conversations had been while you had been AWOL from the internship, but there were no new messages so you pocketed your phone.

You walked around the room, searching for Tony in increasingly unlikely places(he's Tony Stark. Maybe he has a secret passageway in one of his drawers, who knows?)

"FRIDAY, where is Mr. Stank?"

"I'm sorry, what did you just call me?" Tony asked, hands on his hips in a classic sassy pose. He stood in the doorway of the workroom before entering further.

"A nickname? Only cool people get nicknames."

"I am not a 'Stank'."

"Stan Lee would beg to differ," you mumbled.

"What was that?" Tony questioned, an eyebrow raised at you.

"Pants leave wood leg sniffer."

"You couldn't have at least tried to make it sound like a real sentence?"

You shook your head. "Too much quick thinking."

"Ah," Tony nodded. "Well, I have a surprise for you. FRIDAY, hit it."

The lights went dim, a spotlight shining on a wall that was sliding open(so there was a secret passageway!) and out flew an Iron Man suit. But not just any Iron Man suit, it was yours. AC/DC blared on the speakers, accompanying the appearance of the suit.

Your jaw dropped in disbelief as it landed in front of you, standing there. You turned to look at Tony, who was grinning at your expression.

"You....you finished-I...holy shit....this is....this is SO COOL!"

You bounced on the balls of your feet excitedly, ecstatic at seeing it in front of you. The grin on your face was brighter than the lightning Thor summoned, pure unadulterated joy making you glow with happiness.

You looked at Tony and he just had a soft smile on his face when he looked at you, something gentle and tender in his eyes when he looked at you. He couldn't help how you had wormed your way into his heart and for all his sarcasm and snark, he couldn't deny that you were like a daughter to him.

You threw your arms around him, surprising him with the sudden act of affection. He stiffened for a second then relaxed, wrapping his arms around you in what he hoped was a good hug.

"That's mine?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it's yours."

"Really?"

Your voice was hushed, hesitant. You were scared of the happiness. Worried that as soon as you accepted it, you would be taken back to your world. You would wake up and find out it had all just been a beautiful dream. Being in the world you were in now, you were so afraid of going back. Back there, you had never felt such happiness. Of course, you hadn't felt the stress and worry and concern, but the positive emotions far outweighed the negative ones in your eyes.

"Yeah, kid. Really."

And you squeezed your arms around him just a little tighter, hoping that the embrace would anchor you to this reality. When you weren't zapped back to your world, you let a couple of tears of relief fall, so damn happy about where you were.

You let go(not because you wanted to, you could hug any of the Avengers for hours. You just didn't want to make Tony uncomfortable), and smiled at Tony, wiping the tears from your face.

"Thank you so much," you said earnestly.

And there it was again, that small grin that showed just how much he truly cared about you being happy. "Don't thank me, kid. You made most of it. I just finished it."

"But like-" you looked at the suit, "-it is so incredibly awesome. And so are you, Mr. Stank." You grinned at him, all sincerity and happiness.

He smiled back and patted your shoulder. "Come on, kid. Test it out."

You almost stopped breathing. "Can I really?"

"No, you can't. And we spent all that time making it just so it can stand there and look pretty." Tony answered, "of course you can test it out. I didn't bring it out just to torture you."

Your eyes roved over the magnificent machine standing before you, excitement and disbelief mixing in an intoxicating mixture of emotions. Every joint of the suit gleamed underneath the lights of the workroom, the metal shining in a beautiful display. It was like the suit Tony had in Captain America Civil War, the technology not yet at the level it was in Infinity War and Endgame, but it was still amazingly cool.

You moved closer to it, lifting your arm up and reaching out hesitantly and brushing your fingertips over the gorgeous machine gently. Realistically, you knew that it should be able to withstand something much stronger than a simple brush of fingertips over the metal, but you didn't want to see a single smudge or scratch across the amazing device. Tony Stark had worked with you and finished it for you, giving it to you in an incredible decision that you would be forever grateful for. You were not about to let any damage befall something so important to you, especially knowing that Tony had put his time and effort into making it just for you.

"You know it's made of a gold-titanium alloy, right?" Tony prompted, "it's not gonna shatter from you touching it."

"I know," you breathed. "But I can't just be careless, I mean- you worked on this. I have an Iron Man suit. Holy shit. I have an Iron Man suit! That is so cool!! But like...because of how cool it is, I have to take really good care of it, you know?"

Tony laughed. "You do you, kid."

You spent a couple of minutes circling the machine, looking over every beautiful part of it. Tony eventually managed to get you to actually turn it on, not that you didn't want to, you just didn't want to end up, like, breaking it or something because that would just suck.

You thought of something:

Later on, most likely you would end up going to space at some point. The regular Iron Man suits can't do that.

"Is there any way we can make the suit so it can work in space?" you asked Tony.

He tilted his head. "You are not going to space."

"But- what if I want to visit Thor?" you questioned. "Or if we make some new alien friends?"

Ooh what about Gamora and Rocket and Groot and Drax hehe Drax is funny-

"We're not making any more alien friends."

"You never know," you said. "Come on, pleaseeeee?"

You smiled at him in what you hoped was a convincing way, clasping your hands together in a pleading gesture. You tried to do the puppy eye thing that TV people could do but stopped because damn it felt weird.

Tony sighed. "Fine."

"Yesssss!!" you cheered, pumping your fists. "Thank you, Mr. Stank!"

"Yeah, whatever, kid."

For the rest of the day, you and Tony worked on the suit, talking and hanging out like it had been before the proposal of the Sokovia Accords. Occasionally, one of you would remember all the shit that was going down, but for the most part, the two of you managed to have a genuinely fun time. It was fun and different and a very welcome distraction from the turbulent feelings that the shitshow had stirred up.

And when you waved a good-bye to Tony and thanked him again for the amazing gift he had given you, you were still all smiles. You couldn't help it, not only had you received a gift from one of your heroes, but that gift had given you a better chance to change the timeline.

He hadn't just given you an amazing present, he had given you another tool to save all of your heroes.

163 notes · View notes

helloalycia · 4 years ago

Text

lose you [two] // leigh shaw

summary: following her kiss with you, Leigh begins to act unfairly towards you and says something she instantly regrets.

warning/s: none i don't think?

author's note: only one more part after this! hope you’re all liking it, and if you’re not an elizabeth fan, i’ve got a kara danvers two parter coming up after this so stay tuned! also the lena imagine part three one is still in the works, so don’t worry, i haven’t neglected it!

part one | part three | masterlist | wattpad

Leigh had ghosted me before. She'd done it on and off throughout the first six months following her husband's death, unable to maintain contact when she barely had energy for herself. And I was patient, always, because that's what she needed. But this was different.

Her absence in my life was nothing to do with her grief, but rather the kiss she gave me the day I decided to take her out. It just had to be that, otherwise she was merely being ignorant and I knew she wasn't that harsh without reason.

Whenever I texted or called her, it wasn't with the intention of talking about what happened. She hadn't brought it up and I didn't want to pressure her into speaking about it, especially if it was a mistake (which, selfishly, I hoped it wasn't). I just wanted to hang out with her like we used to, but she was giving me blunt responses or claiming she was busy. It was like she was doing her utmost best to push me away and I couldn't take it anymore.

After about two weeks, she simply stopped responding to my texts. Her 'busy' life was keeping her from even acknowledging my contact and that was when I couldn't put up with it any longer. This wasn't about grieving or needing space, this was about her avoiding me for something she did.

On my day off, I headed over to Beautiful Beast, Leigh's mother's fitness studio where she worked. When I arrived, Jules was sat at the front desk, wiggling a pencil before her eyes distractedly.

"You look like you're real hard at work there, Jules," I commented playfully, smiling at her as she paid me attention.

"I was testing out that whole rubber pencil trick," she said nonchalantly.

"And your conclusion?" I asked, leaning against the front desk.

She couldn't help but smile. "It's pretty cool."

I chuckled at how cute she was. "Good to know."

"So," she began, leaning back in her seat. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I was hoping you could tell me if Leigh is in? I feel like I haven't seen her in a while."

Jules was about to respond, then her eyes fell behind me and she smiled. "Speak of the devil... there's your answer, Y/N."

I followed her gaze and realised the class that was going on in the studio had ended, with students leaving tired but happy. Leigh trailed out after them, using a sweat towel to wipe her face and push the loose strands of hair from her ponytail out of her face. She approached the desk, but upon spotting me, seemed surprised.

"Y/N," she said, rounding the desk to stand beside Jules. "You're here. Hi."

She was casual, unbothered by the fact that she'd clearly been ignoring me the past few weeks. I decided not to question it, instead offering her a small, awkward smile.

"Hey," I greeted with a nod. "I was hoping to catch you. Are you, er, busy?"

She avoided my eyes as she lowered her sweat towel, now grabbing her water bottle from the desk and busying herself with it.

"I mean, I've got class in an hour," she said with a shake of her head.

"Perfect. Maybe we can grab lunch and talk?" I asked, not giving her chance to decline since there was no reason to.

She furrowed her brows, feigning confusion. "Talk? About...?"

I pursed my lips, raising a brow with disbelief. She was seriously going to play it like this? Judging from the absent stare she was sending my way, she was. So, I glanced at Jules, who was back to distracting herself with her pencil and barely paying attention to what we were talking about, before looking back to Leigh.

"About things...?" I settled on, knowing she'd know what I meant. "I haven't heard from you in a while."

Leigh scrunched her nose, shrugging apologetically. "I'm sorry, I'd love to, but I'm going to be practicing for my next class. Maybe not today."

I kissed my teeth with annoyance. "Hm. Okay, sure. Good luck with your class, I guess."

Rolling my eyes, fed up at her pretence, I said a quick goodbye to a half-listening Jules and left them both to it. I'd like to think Leigh would come to her senses and contact me, but maybe that was wishful thinking. Either way, it was certainly not thinking for now, so I tried not to let it bother me for the time being.

—

Waiting on Leigh to make first contact was probably not the brightest idea, since I was sure if it was up to her, she'd just ghost me forever. But I was stubborn and I wanted to make a point (clearly not a very good one since she still proceeded to ignore me...), so another week passed without speaking to one another.

The only reason I went over to her house one evening was because Jules asked for my help with something. Since I was a graphic designer, she'd asked me to help design the promotional material for this new set of classes she wanted to start at work. Of course I said yes – in the many years I'd befriended Leigh, I'd also befriended Jules. I was happy to help, even if it meant awkwardly bumping into Leigh.

When I arrived, I was greeted by Leigh and Jules' mum before being led to the dining-room with Jules to help her. I tried to hide the fact that I was subtly searching for Leigh around the house, genuinely wanting to make sure she was okay despite the radio silence on her end, when Jules seemed to notice.

"She's not here," she said, making me look to her, embarrassed I'd been caught out. "She's on some date."

I raised my eyebrows, nodding. "Oh. Cool."

It shouldn't have bothered me – Leigh had been on a handful of dates in the past month, attempting to move on – but it did. Maybe it was because I foolishly thought our kiss meant something to her, since she initiated it. Clearly not, since she was already moving on. It didn't help that she couldn't just act normal with me if it meant nothing to her. No time for her best friend but time for dates with random people? Not cool.

"Did something happen with you two?" Jules asked whilst starting up her laptop.

I hid my panic with confusion. "What do you mean? Did she, er, say something?"

Jules shook her head, leaning on the palm of her hand as she glanced at me. "No, nothing. I just thought I'd ask since I haven't seen you around with her lately. Thought maybe you'd fallen out or something."

So she hadn't told her sister what happened. Maybe she really did want to forget about it.

"No, she's just been busy I guess," I mumbled in response, before pulling my memory card out my bag. "Forget that anyway. Let's see what we can do with your promo stuff, huh?"

Leigh long-forgotten, I showed Jules the designs I'd come up with for her banners and posters, which she was super excited about, and got to work. We mocked up some promotional material for her to get printed soon and she talked me through what she had in the works which was adorable since it was great to see her invested in everything. She'd come a long way from rehab and it was refreshing to witness.

We snacked so much whilst working that by the time I finished, I knew I wouldn't need to eat dinner. Jules' mum offered, but we were stuffed and it was getting late.

"If you need anything else, just let me know," I told Jules as I grabbed my bag to leave. "If you want anything changing, also let me know."

She gave me a thumbs up and a grin. "You got it, chief. Thanks again. I know you have an actual job to do an–"

"Don't do that," I stopped her with an amused smile. "I'm always happy to help you out."

She nodded appreciatively. "Well, thanks. I'll let you go."

I waved goodbye to her before shouting a goodbye to her mum and heading to the door, letting myself out. Only, when I opened the door, I squealed awkwardly upon seeing Leigh making out with some random guy on the porch. The uncontrollable noise that escaped my lips was enough to pull them apart with a start.

"Y/N," Leigh got out with shock, wiping her mouth and clearing her throat. "What are you– what?"

Still dumbfounded, I swallowed hard and looked away. "I– er– sorry to interrupt. I'm just gonna– mhm."

Closing the front door behind me, I quickly walked around the pair and began to leave, trying not to let my surprise, hurt and irritation build up inside of me. It wasn't my business if she kissed somebody else. It was her life – she could do whatever she wanted.

"Wait, Y/N!" I heard her call and winced at the sound.

Pretending not to hear her, I picked up my pace and finally made it to my parked car, fumbling for my keys in my bag under the dimly-lit streetlamp.

"Y/N, wait up!" she called again, and I risked looking up to see her approaching my car quickly, eventually stopping by my side.

Now that I had a better look, I saw that she was dressed up beautifully for her date, wearing a black dress that accentuated her curves and high heels that dared anybody not to stare. Though, when I met her gaze, I saw her ruined red lipstick and was reminded of the stranger she'd just been making out with.

"It's cool, I'm sorry," I repeated, shaking my head and wishing I could feel my keys in my bag already. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's not like that," she said breathlessly, holding her jacket and watching me carefully.

Finally finding my keys, I pulled them out and unlocked my car. "Not like what?" I asked, glancing at her with a tight jaw. "You can go on dates, Leigh. It's not my business."

Her expression softened. "Then why are angry?"

"I'm not angry," I said, before realising it was a little more hostile than I intended. "Look, forget it. Just enjoy your stupid date. I've got to go."

Before I could open the door, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back, eyes darkened with annoyance.

"What's your problem?" she asked impatiently.

I shook her off me and widened my eyes with disbelief. "Are you serious right now? You followed me!"

"Yeah, because you're clearly pissed at something!" she snapped, crossing her arms. "What's your problem?"

For once, I wasn't going to put up with her bullshit mood swings. It wasn't fair how she was treating me and I was going to do something about it.

"You're my problem, Leigh," I admitted with a glare. "I've been waiting for you to call or text or make some freakin' effort to acknowledge my existence, but as usual, nothing. And then to top it all off, I find out you're on some date when you can't even find a spare second to text your best friend that you're okay!"

She scoffed. "Sorry I have a life, Y/N."

Clenching my jaw, I pushed down the anger that was bubbling up inside. She looked so smug, like she'd done absolutely nothing wrong in this scenario, and it was pissing me off.

"You know what? Never mind," I gave up, releasing a shaky breath. "You clearly don't get it."

I tried to move around her and get into the driver's seat of the car, but she groaned loudly with petulance.

"Why the hell were you even here anyway?!" she asked, like she had the right to. "Couldn't you leave me alone for one night?"

I tried not to laugh. "Don't flatter yourself, love. If you'd actually bothered to talk to me, you'd know I was here to help Jules with her posters."

"Sorry that I thought that you couldn't leave me alone for two minutes," she said with a bitter smile. "It's like you don't even know how to function without me in your life."

I clenched my fists with frustration. "Wow, Leigh, big-headed much?"

She laughed dryly, shaking her head. "I kiss you once and now you won't leave me the hell alone!"

Leigh and I had been in so many arguments before this one – it's like they were inevitable with her – but I'd put up with them. I'd let her yell and call me names and treat me like shit because I knew she didn't mean it, it was a heat of the moment thing. But something was different this time. Her words stung a lot more than they should have, especially when they were delivered by somebody I thought I was in love with.

I unclenched my fists and scowled at her. "Go fuck yourself."

Not bothering to wait for her response, I ignored the way her expression changed into one of regret and guilt. I ignored her as she tried to tell me to wait. And I ignored her as her she knocked on my window when I got into the car. I didn't spare her a glance as I drove away, feeling tears prick the corner of my eyes.

Leigh Shaw could be such a bitch sometimes.

—

"Y/N, you've got a–"

"Whatever it is, I'll sort it," I reassured my new assistant. Ever since my promotion, it felt strange to have somebody work for me, but I was slowly getting used to. "Go have your break, Taylor! You've not moved from this seat all day."

Taylor smiled bashfully but nodded. "Okay. Thanks a lot."

I gave her a reassuring smile as I watched her leave. I'd just finished a long meeting with a client and couldn't wait to get to my office and procrastinate for a bit before getting on with some work. Only, when I opened the door, I was surprised to find someone sat in the seat in front of my desk. Maybe that's what Taylor was trying to tell me.

"Hello, can I help you?" I called politely, closing the door and stepping inside.

"I like the new digs."

I froze, smile fading when the stranger stood up and turned around. It was Leigh and I wasn't sure how she'd gotten here, but I wasn't dealing with her right now.

it had been a few days since we'd argued and she'd been trying to get in touch, but I completely blocked her number. It wasn't a permanent decision, but rather a temporary solution to a problem I wasn't in the headspace to deal with right now.

Every time I thought about Leigh or what she'd said, I felt so angry and fed up. She had no right to treat me how she did or make me feel like this when it was her fault. Blocking her was the easiest bet until I decided how to deal with everything. Clearly she hadn't gotten the hint though, since she was waiting for me in my office.

"How did you get in here?" I asked through gritted teeth, trying not to roll my eyes at the stupid smile on her face.

"Your new assistant let me in," she said as I headed to my desk, before adding comically, "She definitely has a crush on you by the way."

I narrowed my eyes at her from across the desk. "You need to leave."

Her humour disappeared, as did her smile, when she met my gaze with remorseful eyes. "I just want to talk."

I shook my head, looking down. "No, this isn't the place for this. And I've heard everything you had to say, Leigh."

"Y/N, please," she pleaded, stepping forward. "I want to apologise."

With a stern stare, I said, "Go."

"Please, just hear me–"

"No!" I erupted with anger, making her jump at the volume of my voice. "You don't get to do this! Not now, not here!" Swallowing the lump in my throat and trying to hide the hurt in my voice, I nodded to the door. "Just get out. After all, I wouldn't want you thinking I'm obsessed with you."

She pressed her lips together and looked down to her fumbling hands with guilt. It was quiet, though the air between us screamed with unspoken words. I hated this so much, the arguing, the anger, the resentment. But I wasn't giving in this time. She'd gone too far and she had to learn that her actions had consequences. She couldn't just get away with it. She had to respect my space.

"I'm sorry," she said gently, looking up with a genuine expression.

I clenched my jaw and said nothing as I waited for her to leave. Finally, she pursed her lips before turning around and going. When the door closed behind her, I let out a breath and sank into my chair, feeling exhausted at the short conversation. I wasn't ready to talk to her yet and I wished she'd just respect that.

Following that, I made sure to tell Taylor when she came back from her break to not let Leigh into my office until further notice. Or rather, not let her upstairs until further notice. She wasn't allowed to bother me in my workplace just because she felt bad.

Of course, not letting her in only meant I received more calls. Especially since I blocked her number, so she deemed it appropriate to call my work phone. Every time Taylor came into my office to let me know it was Leigh, I had to tell her to tell Leigh I was busy and end the call. And the times when I wasn't there, I had several messages from Leigh to reply to. It got to a point where I had to temporarily block her number from work, too. It was the only way to have some space without completely flipping out on Leigh.

One day though, Leigh decided to pay me a visit. She was resilient, I'd give her that much.

Taylor asked me what I wanted for lunch when I said I was in the mood to go out and eat and she could join me if she wanted to. She agreed and we both made our way to the bottom floor before leaving the building. But then I saw Leigh hovering about outside the front door, approaching me as soon as she spotted me.

Already rolling my eyes, I tried to sidestep her, but she was adamant on being a pain in my arse.

"Leave me alone, Leigh," I told her tiredly.

"They won't let me in and you've been avoiding my calls," she said, a little peeved. "What were you expecting?" Her eyes flickered to Taylor, who seemed awkwardly stuck between our bickering. Rather rudely, she asked, "Can I help you?"

Taylor didn't know what to say as I glared at Leigh harshly.

"Don't be a bitch just because you're pissed at me," I insulted, before looking Taylor apologetically. "D'you think you can give us a minute, Taylor? This won't take long."

Taylor nodded, glancing between Leigh and I. Leigh had her arms crossed, focusing a hard stare on Taylor as she walked away. When she was out of earshot, I lightly poked Leigh in the shoulder to get her attention.

"That's not fair," I muttered angrily. "She didn't do anything to you."

Leigh glanced towards her again before looking to me questioningly. "Where are you even going with her?"

I squinted at her judgementally. "If you must know, we're getting lunch. It's that time of the day in case you couldn't tell."

Leigh uncrossed her arms and straightened up. "So, what? This is a date?"

I furrowed my brows. "What? No! What are you–?" I glared at her. "This is none of your business!"

"Well, if it's not, you're definitely gonna give her the wrong impression," Leigh stated with a shrug. "She has a crush on you. Is that even allowed since you're her superior an' all?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose to contain my frustration, before meeting her spiteful green stare.

"If you came here to give me your unsolicited opinions, I don't want them," I said under my breath, making sure passers-by on the street couldn't hear us. "Now, leave me alone."

Her spite dispersed and was replaced with guilt. "Wait, no, I–"

"No, Leigh," I told her firmly, eyes silently pleading for her to give me some space. "You have to stop this."

Green eyes searched mine desperately, but I didn't have time for this, so I left her standing there as I rejoined Taylor and hoped lunch would help me forget about Leigh and her impatience.

"Sorry about that," I said to Taylor when I rejoined her side.

Taylor smiled reassuringly as we began to walk. "It's okay, don't worry about it." It was quiet, before she spoke up again. "Do you mind if I say something a little out of place?"

I looked to her curiously. "Er, sure?"

"I obviously don't know the specifics of what happened between you and your girlfriend, but–"

"Girlfriend?" I interrupted with raised brows. "Taylor, Leigh and I– we aren't–"

She seemed to catch on, eyes wide with embarrassment. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I just thought– well, she's very persistent and I thought that maybe you were together and in a lover's spout or something."

Heat crept up my neck as I loosened my collar. "No, nothing like that. She's just a friend."

Breathing out, Taylor said, "Oh. Well, I mean, I guess my advice still applies. She seems to really care about you."

I snorted. "She has a funny way of showing it."

Taylor smiled. "I know. My boyfriend is the same. We once had an argument and he did the same thing your Leigh is doing. Wouldn't stop bothering me. At home. At work. I let my stubbornness get to me and didn't want to hear him out."

I pursed my lips, glancing at her. "What did you do?"

She laughed like it was obvious. "I heard him out."

That didn't sound like an option for me right now.

"She doesn't respect my personal space," I explained to Taylor, glad to have someone to vent to. "She did some... hurtful things. I'm not making it easy for her."

"Clearly," Taylor noted with amusement. "Look, that's just my experience. But all I'm saying is that your friend Leigh seems to care about you a lot. To the point that she'd glare daggers at your very unavailable assistant."

Goddamn Leigh and her ability to embarrass me even when she wasn't here.

"Thanks, Taylor," I said appreciatively. "I'll have a think about it."

She nodded knowingly. "Anytime."

I definitely wasn’t ready to hear Leigh out yet, I knew that much.

#leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen imagine #sorry for your loss imagine #sorry for your loss

368 notes · View notes

yelenadelova · 5 years ago

Text

The Problem with the “Mad Woman”

I’ve seen a lot of people speculating that Wanda will become a villain by the end of WandaVision. Here is why I desperately do not want that to happen. This will get quite long so I’m including a tldr and putting the rest below the cut. But I’d really appreciate if you gave it a read if you have the time.

tldr; The “Mad Woman” trope is the trope in which women “go mad” or turn evil after acquiring a certain level of power. Many people are theorizing that Wanda will fall into this trope. This trope is damaging for many reasons. Media is excessively fixated on the suffering of women. And this trope sends the message that women cannot handle their grief and cannot manage their power the same way that men can. This trope can be extremely damaging to the girls and women who look up to these characters. I truly hope that this trope is avoided with Wanda’s story in WandaVision and beyond.

DISCLAIMER: I’ll be talking a lot about Wanda and occasionally other Marvel characters. I will only be referring to the versions of these characters that exist in the MCU. I am not knowledgeable enough on their comic origins and stories to speak on them.

One trope that I have noticed in my consumption of media over the years is the “Mad Woman”. This trope often occurs when a woman faces a huge loss and is overwhelmed by grief or faces continuous challenges and roadblocks to their goal. No matter how a character arrives their the end result is always the same. The woman “snaps” and “goes mad” committing acts of violence, lashing out, making grabs for power, betraying people she loves, etc. One famous example of this trope is the case of Daenerys Targaryen, who after facing the loss of multiple loved ones and failing to gain the acceptance of others, suddenly went mad and burned an entire city to the ground. There is speculation that we will see Wanda face a similar fate. Theories often dictate that Wanda will be so overwhelmed by losing Vision (as well as other important figures in her life such as Pietro and Natasha) that she will use her powers to lash out at others, harming anyone who gets in the way of the reality she is creating and eventually becoming a villain in the MCU who must be stopped.

Let’s get into the first reason I hate this trope. Media seems to be obsessed with the suffering of women. It’s of course not uncommon for any character to suffer greatly regardless of gender, especially in franchises like Game of Thrones or the MCU. A certain amount of pain and loss is to expected. However, when it comes to female characters their stories too often center around this pain. Female characters are more often shown being overwhelmed by their pain or being unable to move past it. Male characters are more likely to be seen soldiering through and moving on. By centering so many female storylines around this pain it gives the message that women are less capable of handling these feelings of grief.

A second reason this trope is damaging is the idea that women cannot handle their power. When a woman is given great power, political, magical, or otherwise, she is often shown as being unable to handle the weight of it. With Daenerys, this was seen in the form of her becoming “corrupt” as she gained more power in Essos and Westeros. With Wanda we see that the more she masters her powers and abilities the more she seems likely to “go mad” and use them for evil or her own selfish reasons. I have no problem with the storyline of powerful women feeling like monsters and addressing these feelings. In fact, I think it can be quite compelling. It is an interesting story to see a woman deal with the way society, and often the character herself, views her as a monster. It can lead to great character development to see these women come into their own with their power and wield it well. However the problem lies in the fact that this so rarely happens. Instead we see women being unable to handle their power. The character either becomes a victim of their own power in a way, being driven mad by it. Or they taste power and become corrupt. It establishes a precedent that tries to discourage women from any sort of ambition or power.

This trope establishes a sort of glass ceiling of powerfulness. If we look at Dr. Strange in the MCU, he wields similar magic to Wanda and is quite powerful. While he may struggle with knowing how to use his power and fighting for good he does not go mad or become a monster. This trope largely exists to keep women in check. Once a woman reaches a certain power level she goes mad. This gives off the message that women are not capable of holding the same power as men. We as women just don’t know how to handle it. If a woman manages to become extremely powerful without going mad she is often deemed “OP” or “overpowered” by the fandom, think Captain Marvel. And if a woman never accumulates this level of power she is often looked down upon by fans for not being powerful enough, think Natasha Romanoff.

I think this trope is often the result of not knowing how to write a developed female character or a storyline for them. Women often meet these fates for “shock value” and these stories are often written and produced by men. There are so many stories that can be told with these powerful women. We can see them overcoming these feelings of being a monster, struggling with their own mortality, finding love, feeling isolated, taking on a leadership or mentor role, or any number of storylines. And we do see these storylines. We see them with male characters all the time. Male characters with the same power levels as these female characters have compelling and interesting storylines not focused entirely on their inability to handle power.

While this trope may not seem like a big deal it can be extremely damaging to women and girls who look up to these characters and find solace in them. It sends the message that they cannot handle the same power levels that men can. It sends the message that they cannot handle the same levels of grief and trauma without going mad. I have seen firsthand fans of characters like Daenerys struggling with the fates these characters meet. They feel afraid that any ambition in their own lives will lead them to be rejected, outcast, and seen as mad.

When it comes to whether or not we will see Wanda’s story and development fall prey to this trope, I think the jury is still out. Much of Wanda’s storyline in the past has focused on her feeling like a monster and being overwhelmed by her powers. However, previous movies have, in my opinion, dealt with this well. We see Vision telling Wanda that he is not afraid of her and that he wishes everyone could see her the way he did. We see Wanda saying “I can’t control their fear, only my own”. I truly hope that Wanda’s story in WandaVision and beyond focuses on this idea that Wanda’s powers do not make her a monster. She is just a woman who has been through so much pain and is hurting. She needs help. She needs to heal. If she does end up “going mad” I truly hope we see a redemption arc that allows her to find peace. Her story and character can be compelling in so many ways other than madness.

In conclusion, I am so incredibly tired of the sexist “Mad Woman” trope. And I am tired of the damage it has done to the psyches of women and girls. It’s time we learn how to tell new complex and meaningful stories about these powerful women. It’s what they, and we, deserve.

#wanda maximoff #wandavision #daenerys targaryen #marvel #mcu #natasha romanoff #carol danvers #wandavision spoilers #meta #el rambles #my meta #antis dont interact #i just wrote this to sum up my feelings so i wont be fighting anyone

387 notes · View notes

writersrealmbts · 4 years ago

Text

Diamond Tears and Little Wings: Part 7/Final

Description: You’re a fairy, taken in by BTS. You need lots of love and care, otherwise your light will fade and you turn to stone. Between the seven of them, you should never feel unloved. Right?

Warnings: N/A

Posted: 03/04/2021

Tags: bts x reader, ot7

Fluff: 4,296 words

A/N: Woohoo! We finished the series!

They had almost completely redecorated the apartment, making it ultra-fairy friendly. It was like a paradise and you loved them even more for it.

Your dollhouse was perfect, and had more spots for you to hide in because you did need privacy (the bathroom was also completely closed in this one, thank goodness). It had it’s own power source and running water, and magic plumbing because they got it from fairy craftsmen. The stove worked, the fridge worked, and the bed was soft and plump.

They had more plush rugs around the house just in case you crashed (it happened), and way more house plants. Even a sauna-like terrarium for winter days.

Your room was decorated with new pictures, posters, and paintings.

And they’d rearranged their rooms, too. Jimin’s and Hoseok’s beds arranged to be more easily pushed together at a moment’s notice—something they were doing before even unpacking.

Yoongi brought in blankets and pillows as you tried to figure out what they were doing.

Jungkook and Taehyung brought in the TV and dvd player, and Seokjin brought in the table for it to rest on.

Then they all disappeared, Hoseok patting you on the head as he passed.

You looked around, frowning as you tried to figure out when they had agreed on a movie night, especially since you’d been with them the whole time….

Taehyung came back first, cleaned up and picking you up. Carrying you up the side of the bed and then setting you down as far as he could reach, but without reaching the crack. He was humming happily as he climbed onto the bed beside you, and wrapped you in his arms, making sure both of you were propped up for watching whatever movie it was that they had chosen. You hoped it wasn’t anything too intricate, after flying through timezones and since you were still adjusting.

Taehyung was running his fingers through your hair, playing with it. “It was really bad that first month,” He whispered.

You studied his face, seeing the invisible scars in the look in his eyes and the way they stared at nothing.

“The first day we were a mess, and just sort of…numb. But that night…Hobi-hyung was so angry and he picked a fight with Jin-hyung. I think Jin-hyung only went along with the fight because he didn’t want Hobi-hyungie doing it to us. I’ve never seen either of them like that. And then Namjoonie-hyung got involved, but he was also arguing instead of trying to settle it. Yoongi-hyung grabbed Jimin and Jungkook and dragged them out, but I wouldn’t let him pull me away. I was too worried about them.”

You hugged him tighter, still fixated on his micro-expressions.

“You know how Jin-hyung is, he’ll fight but then he’ll be the first to apologize…even if he doesn’t really understand why there was a fight in the first place. I mean, we all knew that it was because we lost you, but also…Hobi just…he wasn’t making any sense. He was angry, so angry. He ended up hitting Jin-hyung.”

You felt your eyes widen.

Tae finally looked at you, nodding slightly at your expression and then looking away at nothing again. “It got so quiet. Hobi-hyung had hit him in the face and Jin-hyung was on the floor. We all just stood there for…minutes. Jin-hyung didn’t try to get up, just holding his face where he had been hit, laying on the ground…” Tae shuddered. “Yoongi hyung was the first to move, going over and standing between Hobi and Jin. He didn’t say anything, just glared at Hoseok-hyung. Wouldn’t let him or Namjoon get close when they both started panicking and trying to see if Jin-hyung was okay. I went to him, and he finally got up. He pulled me to the fridge to grab an ice pack, then back to his room and we just…sat together. Listening to all of the crying in the house. I got angry at Hobi-hyung for hitting him, but Jin-hyung just shrugged. Said that Hobi didn’t mean it. That it was just because…because you were gone and none of us knew how to handle it.”

“I take it they made up,” You whispered.

He nodded. “Hoseokie-hyung hasn’t fully forgiven himself. He started going to his therapist regularly after talking with Jin-hyung that night. And we had our group discussion…but it was strange. Jin-hyung said he’d rather we blamed him than ourselves, because he could handle our wrath against him…but he couldn’t handle us hurting ourselves with that guilt. Yoongi hyung was so angry at that…told Jin to blame him if that’s what Jin wanted the rest of us to do. But Jin-hyung was so calm. All he said was that he didn’t blame himself, or any of our members.”

“Who did he blame?”

“I don’t know. He never would say, and we never could figure out who he was acting more coldly toward.”

You frowned slightly. “Maybe because it was someone he already acted coldly toward?”

“Maybe, but I still don’t know who that would be.”

You nodded slowly, a few ideas popping into your own head, but figuring it was better not to voice them. “What else happened?”

“Jiminie ran away,” Taehyung said, still sounding horrified from the event. Didn’t go home or anything. It’s dangerous for us, you know? And he’d been handling it so poorly that we panicked. We told the fans that he had gotten a cold and that the medicine made him hallucinate and he’d run away and they helped us find him. They were really nice about it too, they didn’t approach him or anything, even blocked a sassaeng fan. Jimin did end up sick, so it wasn’t a lie after that. Jimin wasn’t allowed to be alone after that. Namjoon stepped down from being the leader for a week—which was how long it took the rest of us to make him realize that none of us were equipped for that position. Jungkook got caught getting another tattoo and he pretty much was completely withdrawn. We were a mess.”

“No kidding,” You murmured. “And you?”

He chewed his lip. “I don’t know. I just felt so…helpless. But I guess I was the only one that Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung could keep a firm hold on. If I wasn’t with one, I was with the other. Even at night. Sometimes I spent the night with Jimin, if Jin-hyung was with one of the others while Yoongi-hyung was in the studio. Hobi hyung would sometimes let me cling to him at work if they weren’t around. I don’t know. It was all like a bad dream and if I could only grab hold of everyone the bad stuff would go away, but only a few people were letting my hold onto them.”

“My poor boys,” You whispered, grouping them together because you knew he didn’t want you saying poor him. “So hurt, so sad.”

“You were in the worst situation, though,” He whispered. “He hit you, y/n.”

You shrugged a little. “Only in the last two weeks.”

He grumbled unintelligibly, then seemed to remember something else. “Oh. Jungkookie also hit Jin-hyung. We didn’t hear about it until after, because we came home to find both of them holding ice-packs to injuries and Jungkook crying.”

You pushed yourself up to look at him in disbelief. “So…Jin hit him back?”

“Oh, they fought. Not for very long, but apparently they fought.”

You shook your head a bit. “Any other physical altercations?”

“Yoongi wrestling Jimin, but no one got hurt. I think Yoongi and Jin got into a couple fights behind closed doors.” Taehyung shivered and snuggled down into bed more. “It was a bad time.”

“No kidding,” You muttered, getting up and ignoring his whining. “I think I should talk to all of you in private. Between you and Jimin I’m very concerned and I just…I think I need to hear what happened from each of you.”

Taehyung bit his lip, but he nodded.

You ventured out, looking for who you could corner first.

Instead you were cornered by Jungkook.

You easily let him pick you up and carry you into his room, giggling softly at his jokes as he carried you in to keep him company while he finished getting ready for the night.

But you were pretty sure he knew why you were there.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” He said quietly. “Me hitting hyung. I was angry about something stupid and hyung was just trying to be there for me and we both misinterpreted what was happening and I hit him…and then…I was already so angry and it felt good to hit something and before I knew it I was swinging at him again. Then he was hitting back, but never trying to beat me, just trying to get me to snap out of it. I did, and he held onto me, and he went with me to the therapist the next day. It’s the only time it ever happened. We worked on redirecting my anger when it came up. I wasn’t nearly as bad as Jimin or Hobi-hyung. And Yoongi-hyung laid into me for fighting with Jinnie-hyung, but he backed off when Hyung talked to him. I think…even though Hobi-hyung and Jiminie-hyung reacted the worst…I think Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung had it the worst. They tried so hard to hold us all together. I’ve never seen Yoongi-hyung so actively desperate to bring us together as he was in those first few weeks. And…I don’t know. It definitely made me feel ashamed.”

You nodded slowly. “Anything else happen?”

Jungkook bit his lip.

“Jungkookie, I’m just trying to get a sense of what you all went through,” You told him softly.

He took a deep breath. “Namjoon-hyung. He spent too long in the studio and had to go to the hospital to get an I.V. because he was so dehydrated. And I think you already guessed that Jimin-hyung went off of food. We pretty much force-fed him meals, usually protein shakes were the most we could get him to consume willingly. He was just so…out of his mind with grief. He’d spent the first few nights you were gone researching what happened when a fairy was taken from the most loving home they had been in—not that he told us he did that until a couple months later when he was finally not acting crazy.”

You nodded again. “But you all took care of him. That’s the most important thing. You all took care of him.”

Jungkook’s eyes went to the sheet on his bed. “I should have helped more.”

“It’s over. You all made it. Maybe a little worse for wear, but you’re all alive and relatively healthy. That’s the most important.” You leaned in and kissed his nose because it was an adorable nose. And sure, maybe you wanted to be little and escape all of this sadness but you also figured there was plenty of time to be little in your future.

After you had finished talking with the boys.

Hoseok was the next you managed to corner, in Tae’s room since he was grabbing the boy’s pillow, and it must have been clear from your expression or the way you closed the door that you wanted to talk to him about something important because he definitely blanched and looked for a way to escape.

“Hobi,” You murmured pitifully, pouting. “Don’t tell me you’re already sick of me.”

He froze. “No, never, don’t even joke about that.”

“Then sit with me a moment?” You asked as softly as you could, talking as though to an animal that looked spooked, trying to calm him down back into your trust.

He was hesitant, maybe a little stiff, but he sat down on the end of the bed with you.

You took one of his hands in yours, just sort of feeling them. “I just wanted to find out, from you, what happened while I was gone. I’ve talked with some of the others…but I wanted to hear your story.”

He took a deep breath, his hand closing around one of yours and giving it a soft squeeze. “It was so quiet after you were gone, and I don’t think any of us knew what to do or say. Then Yoongi insisted on us being allowed to go home. Even after we got home…the silence was just unbearable and you…what was left of your presence was everywhere and I couldn’t stand that you weren’t there. I couldn’t believe they actually took you away from us. I wanted to cry but I just got angry. I got so angry. Because you were ours, a part of us, and you would forget us, but we would always, always remember. They were the ones who made us get you in the first place and then, after us being on board since the moment we met you, they made us let you go.”

You bit your lip.

“They made us let you go and…and if they had it their way we would never see you again and I couldn’t handle that. And I was so frustrated and heartbroken and Jin asked me if I wanted to eat and I…I really lost it. I’ve never been so terrified of myself.” He breathed in shakily. “I don’t know why I said those things. I don’t know why it was so important to me, it was just whether I felt like I could eat or not but at that time it felt like a complete judgement of my wellbeing. Whether I was okay or not and I wasn’t, and I argued with him. I argued and argued and Namjoon started arguing with both of us and I was just so frustrated and…I….” His voice cracked, and he looked away from you.

“You hit Jin,” You murmured.

He sobbed slightly and nodded. “I didn’t mean to. I would never hurt them. I hate fighting.”

“I know,” You whispered, wrapping your arms around him. “You’re our sunshine. And I know Jin forgave you. You were under a lot of stress.”

He just pressed his face into your shoulder, crying for a while.

You carded your fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him while he cried and work through it all.

He took a breath finally, barely moving so that he could keep talking. “It was just…really hard to care about work when it was the reason we lost you. When they’re the ones who took you away. I never thought I’d have a time where I questioned the fans’ affection for us but I did. And then the others were struggling so much and I didn’t know how to help. Normally we know how to help each other. We’re so used to it. Usually it would be easy to distract Jimin, or cheer up Jungkook. Normally I could get Jin-hyung to joke with me, or get Yoongi to crack a smile. But…we were also used to you being there for us.”

“It must have been a scary time.”

He nodded slowly. “I think Namjoon thought it was his fault that you were taken away. Like, if he was a better leader then you would have still been with us. He pretty much completely retreated into himself. I know Jin-hyung dragged him out of the house to see the therapist, but other than that he was either in his room or in the studio until about two months ago. That was when we all sort of…came back together.”

“What brought that about?” You asked, curious. It sounded like they were all hot-messes, so you weren’t really able to picture any of them coming together.

Hoseok frowned slightly, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m still not sure. I was in my room with Taehyungie and then Jimin came in and said the others were waiting in the living room. But Namjoon did the talking at first.”

You nodded, carefully wiping the tears from his face. “I love you.”

He gave a sob-laugh and carefully pecked your lips. “Love you too. I’m going to wash my face again.”

You laughed softly. “I don’t blame you. I have to go corner Namjoon.”

“Good luck.”

Namjoon was easy to corner, and he opened up even more easily. “I think we were all blaming ourselves, and sometimes even blaming ourselves for loving you. It’d almost be like if we lost one of the members, we’d all go mad.”

You nodded. “And you spent a lot of time blaming yourself. Also you decided to throw yourself into your work and ended up making a hospital visit.”

He winced a little, rubbing his neck and giving you a sheepish smile. “Not my finest moment. Actually, there were a lot of moments like that after you were taken away.”

“Tae said you tried to step down from being leader.”

He groaned. “It was a nightmare. The members and Bang PD-nim all cornered me after a week and basically told me no, then showed me everything that they did wrong without me. I was fixing it for weeks.”

You laughed softly, sympathetic even if you didn’t completely know what went into it all. “You know they probably gave them extra things to mess up on purpose?”

He nodded. “It did occur to me that that might have been the case. I appreciate that they appreciate me.”

“Anything else happen that you want to tell me about?”

“Yoongi and Jin…I think they’re the only reason we didn’t completely fall apart. And I know I didn’t make it easy for them. Honestly, I think the only one who made it easy was Taehyung. I felt bad when I saw how much Tae was struggling and we had a small fight. I don’t even know that he would call it a fight, but Tae asked to stay with me in the studio and I was insistent on not letting him. He was crying when he left. I think he was trying to reach me, bring me back in. I didn’t let him and I know that hurt him a little.”

You sighed, moving over and cupping his face in your hands. “Joonie. You came back. You continued on as their leader, and all of you are together, and you all found me. Sort of.”

“You definitely found us first,” He answered, pulling your hands off of his face and instead drawing you closer so that he could hug you. He then kissed you somewhat chastely. “You’re the remedy to cure all ills.”

“Definitely not,” You answered, laughing a little. “Namjoon…when you all came together again…what started that?”

He shrugged. “I mean, I technically started it. I was the one to talk about us once we were all gathered…but it was strange how we all gathered. I only know that Jimin got Hoseok and Taehyung. The rest of us seemed to be there intuitively.”

You nodded, a sneaking suspicion that Yoongi or Jin or both of them had somehow managed to coordinate that. You fluttered a bit to reach his lips and place another kiss on them. “Good talk. I’m going to go hunt down a Yoongi or Jin.”

He grinned. “Good luck, baby.”

Jin was easier, since he just finished shaving and was completely unaware of you about to stop him and ask about the time while you were away.

“It was a little rough, but nothing we couldn’t handle. Why?”

“Because all of the others, Yoongi aside because I haven’t talked with him yet, have given me some stories about what happened the first two months after I was taken. It sounds like you had it really rough. Between Hoseok, Jungkook, and possibly Yoongi hitting you and wrestling Jimin to keep him from searching the town like a madman and dragging Namjoon to the psychiatrist….”

Jin looked uncomfortable, which you expected. He didn’t like talking about unpleasant things. He didn’t like dwelling on the unfortunate, he’d rather be happy.

You waited silently for him to say anything.

“Hoseok would have hit anything at that moment, I just happened to be the closest thing to hit. And Jungkook…well…we both provoked that. And Yoongi…he…he didn’t hit me. Not…not like that. His was more like when you cry when your overwhelmed and you try to fight against it. Except he did it to try not to cry. He wanted me to blame him so badly because he blamed himself and I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. It wasn’t his fault and I wouldn’t blame him for it. Life happens. Just like burnt pancakes. All we can do is hope the next pancake doesn’t burn since we have more experience now.” He shrugged.

“You’re okay?” You asked, hugging him.

He nodded. “I’m more than okay, especially now that they’re all happy again. I know it’s still going to be a rough for a while because we’ve got stuff to work through, but the biggest problem is resolved and we have each other to get through things with.”

“You and Yoongi arranged the meeting where you all came back together,” You said firmly.

He smiled and nodded. “Took us a week to set that up. Tae and Jungkook were easy. Hoseok was also ready. Jimin was starting to calm down and listen. Namjoon was talking again. Yoongi and I just carefully planned for everyone to meet in the living room. We really only told Jungkook and Jimin to come to the living room, and with Jungkook it was more like a ‘come cuddle with me because hyung needs you right now’. Namjoon came in and just seemed to think we were waiting to call a meeting because Yoongi was telling Jungkook that someday we would all come back together and I guess the timing was just…perfect. Especially since I was the one to talk to Namjoon about the group coming back together.”

“Sly oldest boys,” You whispered happily, smiling. “They’re so lucky they had you two.”

He smiled back.

“But it must have been exhausting.”

He laughed a bit and nodded. “Yeah. Really exhausting. Yoongi and I would crash in the same bedroom at night sometimes just to complain about how tiresome trying to wrangle them were.”

You giggled, imagining both of them just grumbling until they fell asleep. “Know where Yoongi is?”

He shook his head. “No clue. But he might be in with the others already.”

You nodded. “Help me drag him out if he is?”

“Anything for you.”

Yoongi was in the room, looking confused at Jungkook who was blocking him. “I thought we were watching a movie?”

“After you talk to me, we are,” You replied before Jungkook could. “I don’t expect it to take too long. Seokjinnie’s didn’t.”

Jin stole a kiss for the use of the nickname and the cutesy voice.

Yoongi apprehensively took your outstretched hand and followed you back to his room, sitting with you.

“I just wanted to ask you about the first couple of months after I was taken away,” You said carefully. “Everyone had a bit of a rough time. Jin mentioned that you blamed yourself.”

Yoongi didn’t look at you. “If I had kept my mouth shut about you changing sizes—”

“Then they would have found out some other way,” You quickly cut him off. “That fansign wasn’t the first time they tried to get me in front of a crowd with you boys, it was just the first time they succeeded. Because I didn’t have a choice that time. And you’re one of the ones we get to thank for all of us being together again.”

Yoongi looked at you, meeting your gaze. “You’re…you’ve grown a lot this time.”

You wrinkled your nose. “I really haven’t, I’m just really worried about all of you. Even though most of the things to worry about have passed. I just…I want everyone to recover and know that everything that happened may have happened for a reason. To help you all grow, maybe, or…or maybe to help your fans see that it’s okay for you to have me. That I’m a part of all of you now.”

He laughed silently, then pulled you closer. “You can be small now, little wing. It’s okay. I think now that you’re here a lot of things will get better.”

You felt a little relief wash over you, and you shrunk to the size of a small child, letting him pick you up and carry you back toward the room. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah. Just…hold onto me a little longer,” He said with surprisingly frankness, but as quietly as he could.

So you held onto him tighter, letting him carry you to your designated spot on the bed and telling them you wouldn’t let go when they complained about wanted a spot next to you, and that they could have the spot after the movie.

There was still a lot left unsaid, but you didn’t feel like crying anymore. And if you did feel like crying, you didn’t have to hide your tears.

The bond between them was stronger than ever.

And no one would ever take you from them again.

You would always be loved, and you would always love them.

What more could a fairy ask for?

–

Masterlist - ot7 Masterpost

Tagging: @alex–awesome–22, @bryvada, @missmoxxiesworld @subzerobts @forvever-ddaeng @vividwoosan @mischiefmakerliesmith5 @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @minmeowmeowcuddles @kpopfictrash @castlewolfsbane @scatkpoptrash @knjhe @i-dont-even-know-fck @soulphoenix1618 @kerikaaria @sea-nevermind-enthusiast @reinaxans @mcusuperfreak @londongirl2011

250 notes · View notes

sunflowergirl522 · 4 years ago

Text

That’s Peter Part 3

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader

Summary: You’ve been able to hop realities your whole life, running away to your favorite one with your favorite people when the blip happens. You come back to visit Jimmy to find out everyone came back and then get some bad news. When you go to find your boyfriend Peter you find out that he’s been snatched into a different reality.

Warnings: Language, grief

Word Count: 1331

Masterlist Previous Part

When you opened your eyes again and Wanda let everyone go back to what they were doing, Peter was gone. You had walked around the neighborhood as children and their families shuffled home trying to see if you could spot him in the crowd. You don’t even see him when you spot Wanda escorting her boys home or when you follow them hoping to be led to where Peter’s been staying. When you come up empty handed you decide to find somewhere to spend the night. Luckily there was an empty house up the block from Wanda’s.

In the morning you take another lap around the block before spying into the windows of Wanda’s house to see if Peter went home. All you see though are things seemingly glitching out which was weird but you brush it off as a problem for after you find Peter. That’s when an idea hits you that maybe he’ll be on the tv again at the SWORD headquarters. You teleport there just to find yourself still in the hex and in a circus? Wanda must have extended the barrier when she used her magic last night. You’ve gotta find Darcy.

You run through the circus trying to avoid any of the clowns to prevent anyone talking to you. You hear someone yelling at people you assume are running away and run immediately to the source. You make it in time to see Darcy and Vision run into a funnel cake truck.

“Darcy!” Vision seems to shut the door before either of them would be able to hear you. “Damn it, gotta be fast.” You crack your fingers and roll your neck before teleporting into the van just as they drive away. You cheer a bit once you’re inside causing the two of them to jump. But you can’t help it, teleporting into a moving vehicle is tough, you have to time it all perfectly and it’s just too much work. So getting inside before they moved was something worth cheering over in your book.

“Jesus Christ Y/n! What are you doing here? I thought you were trying to get Peter.”

“Who is this?”

“Oh, hi I’m Y/n.” You hold out your hand for him to shake.

“I’m-”

“Vision, I know, I’m a big fan of you and your wife.” You beam at him before turning to Darcy. “I was looking for Peter but he disappeared last night. I haven’t been able to find him since, thought I’d have luck locating him with some help from the show. But now I see what Wanda’s magic act was for last night.”

“Well, you’re just in time to help me answer all of Visions questions. Take it away man.”

“Are my children safe?”

“That I don’t know.”

“Oh, I just came from your house, they seemed fine.”

“Good, what about that imposter Pietro?”

“Y/n you wanna take this one?”

“Pietro is my boyfriend Peter. Long story short he technically is Pietro just from a different reality. He has the same powers and he had a twin but well, it was reversed there. She was the twin that died.”

“Okay. Who was I before Westview and what are the Avengers?” You let Darcy explain that to him and sit in silence picking at your nails, a nervous habit you’ve picked up. If Peter were here he’d grab you hands to stop you and place kisses to each finger tip while telling you to be nicer to yourself. But what if you couldn’t find Peter now? Where could he have gone? “So, Wanda killed me?” Vision's voice breaks you out of your thoughts.

“It’s not that simple, you asked her to do it.”

“Why would I have done that?”

“To save the universe, well half of it.”

“Did it work?”

“It did until the bad guy rewound time and killed you himself. There’s a few extra steps but to sum it up-”

“I came back and died again.”

“And she had to watch.” It’s quiet for a bit while Vision takes in the new information and you start to feel overwhelmed with the topic of death that seems to wrap around you. Your mind gets brought back to your dad and how he’s gone and suddenly it feels like the atmosphere in the truck is trying to suffocate you.

“I gotta go.” You force out before teleporting back to Wanda’s street. Immediately you’re greeted with Wanda holding Monica up in the sky with her magic. Monica’s trying to tell Wanda that Pietro wasn’t them and you sigh. Of course everywhere you go there’s talk of him but you can’t find him. What else were you expecting this is just like when the two of you first met. You gasp as Monica has a superhero landing. Why didn’t she tell you that she had powers too?

“I lost the person closest to me too. The worst thing I can think of has already happened to me and I can’t change it. I can’t undo it. I can’t control this pain anymore. And I don’t think I want to, because it’s my truth.” Monica's words hit you like a truck and you start to tear up. You need to find Peter soon otherwise you might just lose your mind. All you want is to confide in him and have him tell you that it’s all gonna be okay. When one of Wanda’s neighbors takes her away you run up to Monica.

“Monica! What’re you doing here? Is Jimmy okay?”

“I had to tell Wanda about what Hayward has planned for Vision. Jimmy’s fine, he's with my guys. Did you get brought in with Darcy?”

“No I came in on my own, I was just with Darcy though. She’s fine, she’s with Vision right now coming here.”

“We’ve gotta get Wanda to listen to reason.”

“Yeah, okay let’s go.” The two of you follow behind the two women to the neighbors house.

“Let’s split up and find a way in.” You nod at Monica and go one way around the house while she goes the other way. You don’t have any luck though and as you’re rounding a corner you spot Peter next to Monica.

“Snoopers gonna snoop.” Monica jumps and turns to look at him and before he can do anything with the hand he raised you show up in front of him and grab his wrist. His eyes go wide at you popping out of a portal in front of him and he seems to freeze in shock.

“Peter, what the hell are you wearing? It’s awful. And what is that, a puka shell necklace?” You reach out to touch it but he grabs your wrist to stop you.

“Don’t touch that sweetheart.”

“Alright.” You shrug and rip your hand from his strong grip and bring it to your side. This is definitely not your Peter. “Just wondering though,” behind your back you create a small portal and stick your hand through it appearing beside Peter’s head, “what happens if I do this?” You rip the necklace off of his neck and bring your hand back to your body ready to defend yourself if need be.

“God what’s been going on?” Peter looks around him confused until he notices you in front of him for what seems to be the first time even though the two of you were just interacting. “Y/n? What are you doing here baby? It’s dangerous.”

“Yeah well, I’m saving your ass apparently. Must’ve been under some sort of mind control.”You dangle the necklace in front of him before tossing it to the side.

“How’d you know?” Monica steps up to be next to you rather than behind you.

“Peter would never wear a fucking puka shell necklace or hold my wrist that tight anywhere other than in bed.” You shrug at her and turn back to Peter. “Seriously though, what are you wearing? You look like a stoner frat guy babe.”

That’s Peter taglist: @ellaenchanted91

Peter Taglist: @amourtentiaa @simpforquicksilver @quickparkers @loveyou3000-mcu @elaineygrace

#peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff #peter maximoff imagine #wandavision #peter maximof x reader

105 notes · View notes

fanfictionsrookie · 5 years ago

Text

...FUCK

Fuck don’t do this to me.

So Cinder lived in an orphanage for about ten years of her life. Since the beginning she was forced to constantly work under harsh conditions while the other children were free to play and hurt her. So this already gave rise to Cinder’s temper and tendency to lash out when provoked by people of lesser power than those keeping her captive.

And when someone does come around...

A woman who can give her a life she only dreamed of?

Well it turns to be just that, a dream, a fairy tale.

For this woman didn’t want another daughter to begin with. She wanted a servant, The woman does not even consider Cinder as a person who needs something as little as food. Cinder has to go out and ask for these things, and when it is given, it is simply enough to scrape by.

It is at this moment that Cinder realises that her life here, will be no better than the life she lived at the orphanage. It might very well be worse.

But even no, with no options but to do as she is told, Cinder is intrinsically defiant. She is looking for an escape.

Just like her fans, Cinder is forced to live off of crumbs. I’m sorry guys.

But seriously, this just hammers in the fact that Cinder has been taking care of herself, surviving since the beginning. She wouldn’t even dare risk asking for food, which will never be enough, and still get punished for it.

And there he is guys, Cinder’s prince.

Fuck this breaks by heart.

So Cinder has already unlocked her semblance. I’ve said it before, but to me, Cinder’s semblance is the subconscious manifestation or need for emotional warmth that she never got to experience as a child.

And what she got instead was torture. Like this is literal torture. And I can imagine like, just being adopted, Cinder is given this wonderful gift, a new home, a beautiful necklace. Only for it to turn into a cruel means of controlling her.

And this is giving me horrible deja vu.

Fuck me. Rule of three.

This scenes clearly cements the lasting effects of mental and physical abuse, especially when someone never escapes her abusive environment. Cinder presently knows what Salem is doing to her. But it’s something she doesn’t want to face, because of a desperate need to be free.

Just this reaction. This instant reaction of fear and always being on guard.

Cinder’s arc has multiple facets. The realisation that power does not guarantee victory, that hurting others does not heal your own pain, and as we’ll later see, that in doing so, you’ll forever be forced to go on the run. That one should peruse constructive methods in achieving one’s goals.

And what Cinder has always wanted is freedom.

I guessed her to be about 12 in the first snippet in the previous episode, but good grief this is heartbreaking.

Even more so when you realise that through everything, Cinder did look for a positive way out. She wanted to be a huntress. Just stop and think for a minute how different her life could have been. This is what she wanted. Freedom to live her own life, free from anguish.

And by the gods did she work hard for that dream. It’s not just seven years of training and waiting. But seven years of continuous torture.

And the effects of that is showing, slowly but surely the bottled up hatred is showing and she is trying so hard to bottle it up.

Then it happens. Cinder is so close. She has grown up into a beautiful young woman and she is on the verge of fulfilling her dream. Getting a taste of freedom. But, a dream once again.

And to what a cruel reality Cinder has woken up to.

Now I would just like to point out fifteen minutes. Not just the fifteen minutes in which Cinder killed her ‘Mother’ and ‘Stepsisters’ but fifteen minutes in which Cinder most likely desperately tried to convince them otherwise and hold onto her goals which is is in her grasp.

Of course, what happens when Cinder is pushed into a corner with no way left to go? She attacks.

Another detail, but again, think how this ‘shock collar’ had Cinder on her knees in the beginning. Not only has she gotten used to it, but she still has the will to fight back.

Now, I very well know that who one becomes is because of who they are and their decisions, but up until this point, Cinder is right, what she is, is what they pushed her to become. What they deluded her into thinking, that the only way to freedom...

...Is to get rid of those who have power over you.

Fuck guys, I wanna cry.

Cinder knows what she did was wrong, she knows it. But she is still holding onto the possibility that everything will be alright now that her abusers are gone.

But then one obstacle turns into another. And at this stage, there is no turning back. At this moment, Cinder will do anything to make sure she isn’t locked into another cage yet again.

Let it be knows that Cinder has always been a crafty fighter. that was has always been her strongest, when she was at her weakest.

Cinder just killed a Huntsman.

The first person to ever care for her. The first person to show her any kindness. Because she was afraid that he’d turn out like all the other’s. And yet, he showed her that kindness up until the very end.

And here’s where is starts, burying her guilt, shutting out her emotions because Cinder finally got the freedom she wanted.

She is free. Her shackles are unbound. But all she can do is run.

Now, I wonder, if volume 1-3 had the same budget, or if CRWBY knew for certain that this was the direction they’d be going, would they have shown these scars on her neck? And are they still there?

Here we are. Back to the present and our view on Cinder is forever changed.

I can only assume that Cinder’s response, the fear of realising where she is after her failure, is because of the effects of her memory. That she hasn’t had the time to slip on that façade of hers. That underneath, Cinder is still a scared little girl.

Despite everything Cinder still has someone, one person who still cares for her and her feelings towards losing Mercury as an ally couldn’t have been clearer. Cinder wants people around her, to care for her. But she has yet to realise that, that means caring for them too.

But what would she know about that? The only prominent ‘caretakers’ in her life has been her ‘Stepmother’ and Salem. And that’s what Cinder is, or is trying to become, even if she doesn’t realise it.

And despite everything...

...Cinder is back where she started. Caught in the cycle of abuse.

Nothing has changed. Cinder swapped one abuser of another. One pair of chains for another.

And she is so close to realising it.

But Salem knows Cinder, she knows how to manipulate and make Cinder think that she is any different from her abuser. And Cinder believes it, or at least she wants to. Cinder wants freedom so bad that she would justify Salem’s abuse as such.

Now this shot.

To me this symbolizes Salem forcing/ manipulating Cinder to trust her. That isn’t Cinder’s hand. Those are the chains that binds Cinder to her. But Cinder still seems them as gifts, and I can only hope that’s she’ll tear it apart.

Another, Cinder’s third possible face off with Penny. Now, how will this go?

Considering Cinder’s recollection of what she learnt from Rhodes, and the Hound backing her up, I would want to belive Cinder will succeed, but CRWBY loves proving me wrong. If Cinder succeeds, then it could act as a further reinforcement that more power is not what she needs. Of course this means Pietro dying to most likely giving his last remaing Aura to Penny, but I very much doubt Penny will lose this fight. But at the same time, this episode feels like a shift in Cinder’s direction, and I’m not even sure to where.

Salem has reaffirmed Cinder’s trust in her, or so it seems, because right now they couldn’t feel further apart. Because of this shift I feel like Cinder would win, but not in the way she expected, perhaps not even by using Salem’s teachings,. But by her own cunning. This could mean blackmail. Cinder’s fear of failure could outweigh her need for the Winter Maiden’s powers, so she somehow tricks Penny, assuming she regains consciousness, into giving her the staff.

...

In short, I don’t know what is in store for Cinder.

To me, Cinder would break away from Salem the moment she realises what Salem is doing to her. But that means accepting that she isn’t free. And that is something Cinder is so terrified of that she won’t even consider it. The only way to get Cinder to realise this, is to take away the remaining person at her side, Emerald. Cinder needs to fear something else, more than she fears feeling powerless. But she also needs to realise what true freedom is like.

As for what that looks like for Cinder... I don’t know.

...

But CRWBY has done a fantastic job this episode.

We’ve waited for years and to me, it’s everything I expected, wanted, hoped for and more. This episode truly feels like a new chapter in Cinder’s story.

She might have gone from one abuser, one cage to the second, but we will be waiting for the third time.

For when she finally breaks free.

#rwby #rwby8 #cinder fall #rwby8 spoilers #fuck guys #im typing this in mozambique paying out the ass for data #T-T #but weve waited so long #and it was so worth it

154 notes · View notes

archies-litterbox · 4 years ago

Note

You know how Jim was like I don’t know what to do and powerless in ROTT and I just feel like that’s what happened to the writers? Like they really didn’t know how end this series. They tried to give some answers but with so many details missing, it feels wrong. Just based on the story, I feel like I am just looking into how the writers were working on this story. They are all just coming up with some ideas but didn’t know how to put it together to make sense of it.

YES. It felt... kinda hodge-podged? There was a lot that could have been done better. Alot of it felt rushed and disorganized.

And the ending... if it was leading into a new series, it would have been one thing (which um... idk if I'd like that 😬), but as The End Of The Franchise... bad.

I actually said in another post that I think an "open ending" with the time travel would have worked if they ended it like season one of The Umbrella Academy, where it cut off right as the siblings went back in time, and the audience had no clue where they ended up. There's more potential to leave fans hopeful than confused at everything from the show being erased.

And... we're not even unpacking the mpreg, anon. We're not doing that. Bad.

And SO many people felt out of character. Like... I'm sorry, but am I supposed to think that Jim, knowing how much fucking trauma he went through as the trollhunter, would cause so much as the potential to have that happen to Toby? No no no, that's not my son!

And I'm sorry but... Douxie - who we watched in Wizards hold the dead body of his father figure so hard that when it turned to dust, he lurched forward and his arms curled in - not even falling to his knees when Nari died, and just going "I hope he's happy :(" when he found out Archie was separated from him forever? Without actually getting to be told goodbye from him himself? 🤨

Like... it just felt off.

(That said, MAJOR props to Colin for the voice work in that scene. The way he screamed Nari's name broke my HEART.)

And Strickler's death, I could have mourned and accepted as the end of his arc, going from being selfish and evil to giving his life for good... but Nomura's was done just to make audience's gasp and show how deep in the trance Nari was and I'm pissed.

But like... it didn't happen. And that's one of the worst parts, I think. We as the audience don't even get proper time and space to grieve the deaths because we're shown that they're alive right at the end, at the cost of every bit of the character development we've watched them go through.

Like... I think it might have been better, if they were going to go the route of so many of the characters sacrificing their lives or otherwise dying, if the movie instead ended with the surviving characters making memorials and grieving their losses while appreciating the good their fallen family and friends did in the world - how much they did to save the world - and they could have had the "Don't think, become." speech said as they sent off their departed friends.

(And ending the movie - and the franchise - with a message about grief and moving forward from losing someone while continuing to honor and appreciate the amazing things they did in their lives would have been especially profound considering the real life context that, if I remember correctly, Tales of Arcadia was one of Anton Yelchin's final projects.)

Anyway... yeah, anon. This movie gave me alot of thoughts, and not in a good way.

#but them saying the speech together as a pep talk DID almost make me cry #rise of the titans #rott spoilers #tales of arcadia #answered

32 notes · View notes

clean-bands-dirty-stories · 5 years ago

Text

Breathe ~ Doctor (part 1)

A/n: So I had a FANTASTIC idea and had to write it. The first part is all of the experience with 9 in one part. I so hope you enjoy this introduction, and allow it to take you on a journey with me that I have been having far too much fun exploring.

Word Count: 11,000+

MASTERLIST

Rose Tyler had three people in her life that were a constant.

Her mother, first of all. The woman might be a little annoying from time to time, gossiping and being pushy and demanding and wasting money on parties and dramatics. She was a good woman though, with a large heart. She had, after all, raised Rose by herself and the girl had come out brilliantly.

Then there was Mickey. Mickey was Rose's boyfriend. He was... cool, I guess. There was definitely more to him than others cared to dig for. Even he himself didn't know his full potential, and it put a stopper on him quite a bit. He was fine enough, and obviously cared for Rose, but he tended to be a bit... distracted, and oblivious. Desperate, maybe.

Y/n sure didn't approve of him, but as Rose's best friend he had long since learned to accept the man. Y/n was very good at filling in the spaces where Mickey lacked. He was attentive and listened to Rose talk for hours. That was perhaps the biggest reason he didn't like Mickey too much. Rose complained a lot. Y/n fancied himself an artist. He and Rose had met when he'd tried to do street art to get some attention, but it was more hussle than it was worth. The best thing that came out of it was his friendship with Rose.

There was something odd about Y/n, Rose was sure. The man was usually very open and honest - unless it came to any and all talk about relationships. Rose had long since stopped asking, but others hadn't. Every time his love life was brought up, he clammed shut and got very bitey. No one was sure why, but it happened every time without fail. His reaction didn't get any more or less violent, either. No one could wear him out or get him to snap. He just got tense and irritable until you stopped talking, and then the mood was usually ruined the rest of the day.

It was a silver lining, though. Otherwise Y/n was extremely pleasant and had no problems talking about other peoples' relationships or love lives. Y/n never encouraged Rose to be single or to dump Mickey - as long as everyone was happy, you could talk about anything in your life without any back lash. Rose got along and they didn't talk about it and that was that.

Then the Doctor happened.

Rose and Y/n didn't lie to each other. They'd formed a friendship on if you didn't want something known, you didn't mention it until you were ready to talk about it with a level head. No matter what, they didn't lie. They just kept their mouths shut. So when the Doctor entered Rose Tyler's life and her mom took up the phones like usual and Mickey ran off to the bar to watch the game, Rose pulled Y/n into her room and told him everything.

"No," Y/n mumbled. It wasn't that he didn't believe her. Rose Tyler wasn't insane, and they didn't lie to each other. He knew that, logically, if she said it, it was true. That didn't stop the fact that his mind rejected what she was telling him.

"Yes!" Rose gushed, nodding eagerly. "He's got this weird screw driver, except it's got no head, just a little light at the end. And mannequins - they moved. He's the one that blew up my job."

Y/n allowed him a second to process that before responding. Rose stayed silent as well, waiting for him to speak again before she said more. "And he said his name was what?"

"The Doctor. Sounds like a mad man, huh?"

A sort of amused snort came from Y/n then. "No shit." He shook his head. "Hold on, I need air." They began to walk out when the doggy door suddenly blew in. Y/n and Rose both jumped, before Rose yelled something at her mom about not nailing the flap shut like she said she would. But when Y/n kneeled down, he picked up nails off of the ground, holding them up for Rose to see. "I think she actually did, Rosey."

The two locked eyes and then both gazes shot to the flap as it suddenly moved again. Rose went to stick her head down there but Y/n wasn't having any of that. He nudged her with his foot, grabbing the bat by the door he had insisted the Tyler's kept at the ready. Two women living alone needed some way to protect themselves. Not necessarily a man - no woman NEEDED a man, even Y/n knew that - but something. Now it came in handy as he hefted, swinging the door open as Rose scrambled to her feet behind him.

A man stood there. He wore a leather jacket and had an odd expression on his face. "Hello," Y/n greeted, unsure.

"Hello," the man responded back. He lifted a long, odd object and pressed a button, running the object down Y/n's body as if... scanning him.

It clicked in Y/n's brain far too quickly. The thing glowed at the end that was pointed at Y/n, and it made a buzzing noise. The man was weird and smiled too wide. Even the leather jacket was there. "You're the Doctor."

The Doctor's smile grew. "Normally I have to introduce myself. It's usually a bad sign when someone knows my name, but you're not made of plastic so I can't imagine what I'd have to be worried about. Are you made of plastic by chance?"

"No," Y/n answered calmly. He was processing Rose's story at hyper speed now. It only made sense that a man like this would be attached to a world where plastic came alive and tried to kill you. The night seemed bright around him. There was something odd about his presence, like seeing cartoon and live action mixing between characters and background. The Doctor didn't belong here, and it was obvious in every move he made.

The Doctor nodded. "Suppose I'll be on my way then."

"You will not," Rose spoke up, grabbing the man's arm around Y/n and pulling all of them. "I have questions and this time you WILL answer them."

That simple action changed the lives of Rose Tyler, the Doctor, and everyone they cared about so much that none of them would ever be able to go back. Honestly though, none of them would have it any other way. Except maybe Jackie.

"Doctor?" Y/n turned to the other man, who hummed without looking over. The Doctor's eyes were trained on the end of the world. As were Rose's. Y/n couldn't keep looking. Something had stuck in his head. Something that made him even more sick than the sight of an empty planet being consumed in a universe that had long since been done with it. "The woman before. She said something about your planet. Something about you being impossible."

The Doctor got a very dark look on his face then. "I suppose I am rather impossible." He shrugged, obviously trying to keep it light.

Unfortunately, Y/n's curiosity was insatiable. It was something the Doctor had come to appreciate about him. Until now, maybe. "Well, I'm the last of my kind." He paused but when Y/n's expression grew only more earnest, he shared more. There was something about Y/n that pulled at the Time Lord. Made him want to talk. Talk about things other than just science and time and language and culture and history and such. Something that made the Doctor want to talk about himself. "A very long time ago, there was a war. A war between my people, and those knows as the Daleks." He paused, getting rather somber. "We won...” he swallowed. There was an unspoken, at a cost.

Y/n found himself with more questions, but felt none of them appropriate to ask. "I'm so sorry." Rose turned then to see Y/n take the Doctor's hand. Y/n had always been affectionate, but only with people he was rather attached to. With strangers, Y/n was usually quiet and reserved. Until he was sure someone could handle his prying questions and blunt honesty that so often got him in trouble if he didn't check himself around the right people.

Perhaps it was the fact that the Doctor was a lot like that as well that Y/n had taken to him so quickly. Whether it was that or something else, Rose was glad the two men were getting along. She was also glad there was someone smarter than Y/n in the room. The boy had asked so many questions and gotten so many answers that he had quite a bit of knowledge more than normal people. He was no genius like the Doctor, nor was he hyper intelligent or anything. But he could outmatch Rose and Mickey, and they often went to him when they needed something spelled or math done that they couldn't mentally do quick enough.

Rose suddenly saw something else though. Past the similarity and the comfort and the peace the men found in each other. The Doctor looked back to Earth, and Y/n continued to look at the Doctor. It was subtle, and it wouldn't have been noticed if Rose wasn't already looking. But she had. Y/n finally looked away fully, but there was a look in his eyes that Rose had never seen before.

What was that about?

"What was that?" Rose demanded when the left the room, parting from the Doctor.

Y/n seemed taken aback. "What was what?"

Rose wasn't sure how to describe it. An odd look? A weird new air about him? There was something different when Y/n looked at the Doctor and Rose couldn't understand it. "With you and the Doctor?" She tried to clarify.

That only seemed to confuse Y/n more. "What are you talking about? Holding hands? I do that with you and Mickey all the time, and I'm not even Mickey's biggest fan."

Rose rolled her eyes so hard that Y/n almost laughed. "You looked... different."

Y/n was quiet a long time. Rose almost thought he wasn't going to say anything. That she had found something he wasn't ready to share. But then he did speak, even if it was soft. "He's different, the Doctor. Not just because he's alien, though... perhaps that is it." He sighed. "He's lonely. He's so lonely, Rose. Can't you see it? In the way he empathizes with loss and grief. The way he looks when you mention his name or his planet or the TARDIS or your family. When he was watching you watching Earth die, like he could see... something else. He told me something. Something that makes me think... he might have watched his own world be destroyed, like we did today. But it wasn't empty, and his species hadn't spread out and integrated and evolved. They just died, and left him all alone."

For a second, it was quiet. "You see it, don't you?"

A nod was all Y/n gave at first. He didn't need to say anything, but he did anyway. "He looked the way I did when I got the news back then. When I found out. He gets that exact look."

Suddenly Rose looked very sad indeed. "Well. Now you both have someone, eh?"

A small smile tugged at Y/n's lips. "Yeah, here's to that at least."

"Y/N!"

The man turned at his name, only to be tackled by the shorter blonde that had become known as his best friend. "Rose," Y/n whispered, clinging to her. "God I thought you were dead for sure. I - what happened? I lost you guys and then..." He looked sick. "There was so much light and-"

"We're all okay," the Doctor reassured. "That's what matters."

Y/n turned on the older man. "Now you listen here. That's NOT all that matters. Because she damn well could have not been and I wasn't there to protect her. Or you! What would I have done if either of you had died and I was up here sitting on my thumbs like an idiot?"

The Doctor was taken aback by Y/n's outburst. When the man turned and stormed off, Rose was the one to step up and explain. "I'm sorry, Doctor. He's rather protective of those he cares about." She bit her lip, giving the Doctor the impression there was more she wanted to say. He waited for her to speak, and after a while she did. "When he was young, Y/n saw something terrible. His childhood wasn't normal. I mean, you think life is pretty rough on most of us, but Y/n's had it worst than most."

"What happened?" The Doctor asked quietly.

Rose sighed. "His parents had always been pretty distant, but they were mostly good. They did what they needed to do and let him free when he wanted to be. But, well, they were.. angry. The fought a lot, and it didn't help that his dad was a fan of alcohol. His mum... well she was a fan of lots of things other than that, none of them good for you. One day, she came home high. She wanted something... I can't remember what. His parents fought over it until... his mum pulled a little too hard. His dad slipped and knocked his head really hard on the floor. He died. His mom panicked and..." Rose swallowed. And no further words had to be said about it. "Y/n was on the couch the entire time watching. He ran. Was on the streets for a long time doing lots of things. Working as best he could while keeping his head down until he turned eighteen and was free of the system. Found us right after that. He watched his parents destroy themselves and spent a long time alone after that because he couldn't stop the fighting." She scoffed. "His words of course. Not his fault people fight. He was only twelve."

The Doctor seemed to be thinking about something. Something that didn't seem to be sitting right with him. "Does he have any other family?"

"Loads. He used to have a very big family. No brothers or sisters, but lots of aunts and uncles and cousins and the such."

"What happened to them?" The Doctor looked at Rose, as if searching her mind for something he desperately needed.

Rose stalled a few seconds. "A lot of the same, really. Not so much murder, but... well, his parents got their habits from their families, and between that and regular life? Not as many are as strong or as resourceful as Y/n. They ran off or got addicted to something or..." She shrugged. "He lost all of them at some point."

The Doctor nodded. "I see. Well, this is settled. Let's go somewhere more fun." His tone changed but the mood didn't. Rose let it drop though. Y/n didn't mind Rose answering questions like this for people he was comfortable with. He actually preferred it, so that wasn't her worry. The Doctor had drawn a silent line though. She didn't know what it was blocking her from, but she decided to let the whole topic drop just in case.

Perhaps it was what Y/n had said about him and the Doctor being the same.

She hoped they weren't too similar. It was bad enough knowing Y/n's story, she couldn't bare another like it.

Y/n had been staring at the building that had just gone up in flames for a very long time now. Rose and the Doctor had been celebrating, but Y/n sat there quietly, on the pavement, staring at the building like he was waiting for it to undo the carnage that had been caused moments ago.

"So what's on your mind?" The Doctor had plopped down next to Y/n, smile small. He'd gotten used to Y/n's mellow mood. The boy wasn't hyper like the Doctor. He didn't get off on exploration. What drove Y/n, it seemed, was saving people. And a life like this took its tole on people who wanted to save everyone. People like Y/n. So, the Doctor had learned to check in every once in a while. Every time he did, he was never disappointed. Even when Y/n seemed to be hurting, he was never negative about it. He could accept a success. The things he did think though put the Doctor on a path that had him mulling for days. In a good way. He and Y/n got into a lot of very stimulating debates this exact way.

Today wasn't about debates for Y/n.

"I know they were going to destroy the world and stuff. I'm not sad they're dead. We won and they've been stopped and all of humanity and Earth has been saved. That's great. The way we did it was rather impressive too." He chuckled, but there was obviously more he was thinking.

"But?" The Doctor prompted.

Y/n shrugged. "Wiping out an entire family. I mean, their species isn't normally like that, are they?"

"No," The Doctor answered slowly.

A bitter sweet smile rested on Y/n's lips then. "Do you think they were raised to be like that, or is blood thirst genetic?" It was a sarcastic question, so the Doctor didn't answer. There was a moment of quiet before Y/n shook his head and sighed. "Doctor, would you prefer I didn't travel with you?"

That was not the thing the Doctor had been expecting Y/n to say next. "Why would you ever think I didn't want you along with us?"

Another moment where Y/n struggled with how to form his thoughts and feelings into words passed before the boy finally figured it out. "I like this life. I really do. I like being around you and Rose and watching you guys have your fun. But sometimes I feel like... a bit of a downer."

The Doctor chuckled. "Honestly Y/n, you're the first person in a very long who sees the truth to things. As much as we cling to our victories, you're real about them. You handle everything with complete understanding, even with your limited knowledge. You have empathy even for beings who would have killed you without even remembering your face. You have pity for monsters and you feel for species the rest of your kind would rather kill than have a civil conversation with. Rose is fun and she matches my energy and I appreciate that. But you ask the questions I've been waiting for someone to ask for centuries. Your kindness is quite refreshing. You get it."

Y/n smiled. "So you want me along?"

"I will always want you along, Y/n. As long as I can have you along," The Doctor answered without hesitation. "You're no downer, I promise."

It was that moment that something changed for Y/n. Rose saw this too, but not in the moment the two men shared now, but after. Y/n and the Doctor had unlocked something in each other in that conversation. A kind of connection where even as everyone cheered, all the pair had to do was look at each other to know that in all the sweetness around them, the other understood the slight bitterness they felt as well. As much as they wanted to end evil, they also both felt the loss of any soul they couldn't save. Taking a moment to mourn with each other seemed a relief for both of them.

It was something Rose couldn't feel. She saw things pretty straight forward. Bad people needed to have an end to them. And she wasn't wrong, but the compassion that had come to Y/n and Doctor after having their families and lives taken from them and living far too long by themselves, they had a unique ability to give a moment of silence even for enemies who were twisted by things out of their control. Who couldn't be shown the light.

They bonded over it so much that Rose felt herself being left behind.

Y/n and Rose still told each other lots and cuddled when either needed comfort. The Doctor and Rose still had lots of fun and laughed at each others jokes and had that same sense of humor that came only from adjusting to and enjoying the life they both lead. They were all friends. But Y/n and the Doctor had something else. Just a little something more. Just enough that Rose saw the change and began to think that there might be something major she didn't know about the man who called himself her best friend.

"Something's off."

Rose and the Doctor looked over at Y/n, whose eyes were slowly and carefully scanning their surroundings with narrowed eyes, as if searching for proof that his hunch was solid. "What is it?" Rose asked gently, moving closer so they didn't have to talk around the people in the crowd they had been moving through before Y/n had stopped dead.

The dynamic between the trio had very early on become clear. The Doctor was the brain, coming up with the plans. Rose was the second in command. She was stuck to the Doctor's side and they worked in tandem, being unbroken and often sliding along the same wave length. Y/n was the heart. When Rose and the Doctor got stuck on a mind path, or got distracted, or veered a little too right of what was right, Y/n was the one to shake things up to give them a new perspective, or to help either of them if they needed it. Y/n was a comfort and a friend. He was also very intuitive. Where the Doctor sought things out, and Rose seemed to stumble on information she found, information seemed to find Y/n. He just had a good gut guiding him.

So when he said something was up, at this point, he was never questioned by his companions.

"Earlier one of the girls said that people are chosen to go up to the higher floors. That there's a prize. They go up and something happens and then they never come back."

The Doctor nodded. "I was thinking about that too."

Y/n shook his head. "Did you notice that it's incredibly hot in here? I mean, why? It's obviously not ideal - it makes the people here uncomfortable. It's slight discomfort, but still. Why keep a bunch of people in a super heated room? What's on level 500, air conditioning?"

It was made to be a joke, but the comment seemed to spark something in the Doctor. "You know what, that's an excellent point." He stood straighter. "Fun's over. Where's that friend of yours, Rose?"

The blonde looked around. "He was... just behind us."

"Grand," Y/n grumbled sarcastically.

The Doctor chuckled a few times. "Took the words right out of my mouth." As he said it he looked over at Y/n, his eyes flickering to Y/n's lips. He looked away quickly and Y/n missed the moment altogether. The two continued cracking jokes toward Rose about the man both of them had been increasingly annoyed with, but Rose wasn't responding.

Because she had seen where the Doctor's eyes had landed, and her mind was working a million miles an hour to put this together. It's not that the concept of men liking men was foreign to her, just rare. One that wasn't her first thought for sure. But as Y/n and the Doctor got closer and closer on a very emotionally intimate level, Rose was noticing the building tiny moments that wouldn't mean anything alone but meant everything put together.

She smiled to herself. Rose Tyler had a plan, and not just about Satellite Five.

"You wanna talk?" Y/n offered quietly.

"Do you?" Rose shot back.

Y/n wasn't sure what to do with that. "I always want to talk with you, Rose."

The blonde jerked her body to turn and face Y/n, a determined look on her face. "You know Y/n, how about this. An exchange of honesties. For every truth you tell me, I will tell you one in return. And your truth has to equal mine, so if you want something meaningful then you have to give something like that first."

Y/n paused and then nodded. "Sounds good. Do you want me to start?”

"No, actually," Rose decided. Y/n motioned for her to go ahead, so she did. "Watching my dad die was not great, but I'm glad he wasn't alone after all. It was kind of... a relief, actually. Some closure. I got to say goodbye. I got to hold his hand." She offered a weak smile. "Now your turn."

Unsure of what Rose was aiming for, Y/n thought for a second for something he hadn't told her recently that could be as profound and unexpected as that. "This whole life of ours gives me purpose. I feel like I matter, which is something I haven't really felt until now. I know I had people who cared about me and worried about me and expected me home every night, but I always craved to make a difference and finally having that has been like a dream come true. Even though I get a little melancholic... all the time, it's just because I get stuck in my own head a lot and think too much. I actually really like what we do."

Rose nodded. Even though it had been a tad mild compared to hers, it was less what he had said and more the fact that he'd said it. Y/n struggled to communicate positive emotions, often overthinking the negative ones and voicing those because he needed second opinions and insight. Acknowledging positive things didn’t require a second opinion or input, just a congratulations, and since when did he get that just for traveling with the Doctor and finding purpose without looking like some sort of arrogant dick? It might not have been as profound as Rose's truth, but it was equally meaningful.

"I love Mickey and my mum of course, but I don't think I'll be ever to leave this life and be okay with it. I think that I might end up breaking up with Mickey because he deserves better and that thought terrifies me."

Y/n pursed his lips. "Can I just-"

"No comforting or additional thought. We can discuss later. Right now, truth. State it."

"Okay," Y/n sighed. "Uh, relationships in general terrify me." It sort of slipped out and both of them hesitated. Y/n never talked about this sort of stuff. It was the only thing he never talked about, even with Rose. She expected him to clam up but after a second, he just kept going. "I'm scared of falling in love and having my heart broken. I know some things are worth it, and people glorify love so much and I crave it, I really do, but... I've lost so much. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if I really fell for someone and then had to lose them. I'd rather make friends and family than that nonsense. It would hurt to lose them, but in a different way, and there would still be the thought that you would always be that person's friend or family if you get separated or part ways or whatever. Like we'll always be each other's friend, I think. Even if we got to a point where we couldn't be friends anymore. If I left this life behind, or one of us died or-" He sighed. "But when you break up with someone, they move on. They date other people, and do intimate things with them. They love and connect in just as intimate ways as you used to, and eventually they forget you and replace you. I couldn't handle that. I won't."

Rose let out the breath she'd been holding. She'd been too scared to breath, in case it shattered the moment she'd been waiting to happen for years now. "I understand." She took his hand. "Have you... ever been in love before?"

Y/n shook his head. "Not yet." He paused and Rose felt the weight of those words. Not yet. She could imagine Y/n clinging to his heart as the Doctor got closer and closer, his smile ever wide and his charm ever sparkling.

Rose's shoulders sagged a bit. "What will you do if it ever happens?"

"Ignore it." The words were too quick and solid. They came across as desperate. Insistent. In that moment one thing was clearer than anything else in the world. If Y/n wasn't in love with the Doctor already, he would be soon. He was falling hard, and he was falling fast, and when he landed it was going to hurt. They were suddenly both terrified about it.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" The words were hysterical. Y/n's hands shook and his eyes were wide and his skin shone with sweat. His hair was messier than usual and his clothes were disheveled, like he'd rolled down a long hill or gotten in a fight or something.

The horror of what was happening in that moment settled over Rose and the Doctor in a truly terrible way. It was in the ringing in their ears and the horrible, bitter taste that was suddenly in their mouths. "Y/n-" the Doctor began.

"No," the man answered in a very final tone. One that let them know there was no room for question or doubt. He had been touched by the child. He had been infected, and he refused to infect any of the others.

A new friend, Jack Harkness, jogged over at the commotion. "What's happening over here?"

"Doesn't matter," Y/n answered solidly. "We need to move on."

Rose let out a sound that neared a choked sob, except she wasn't crying. She just looked to be in pain. "You- you can't! Y/n-"

Y/n took a few deep breaths. He had made the mistake. In his idiocy, he had gotten between the kid and Rose, and now he was here. The child was far back and they'd had time to get away, but Y/n had touched him and that meant only one thing. "Rose, we don't have time for this." He was near breaking down, and he begged her to see that. He couldn't spend the time before he died losing it. He had to help as much as he could. He had to make a difference. He had to-

"You know, you don't have to do anything, Y/n." Y/n and the Doctor looked at each other. His lips were parted and his eyes were desperate. He wanted to help but... he didn't know how. "You can stop. We would understand. You - you probably don't have much time left." His face crumbled, like he finally understood the meaning behind what he was saying. "You don't have to come. Spend it doing something else. Get yourself some food maybe. There's bound to be something in the TARDIS. Pick a bed, and stay there. We'll keep you comfortable after... after this."

A soft chuckle came from Y/n then. "You know, I'm going to die." The group got deathly quiet. "Maybe that's not true. I'll be alive. I'll be something worse than dead. I'll be brain dead. Forever." He shook his head, his breathing becoming shallow. "But right now, I'm still me. And I want to do something before I stop being me, Doctor. I want to do all I can. I want to do everything, but all we have time for is making sure whatever is happening to me never happens to anyone else ever again, okay? Can I spend my last moment with you?" He was looking right at the Doctor. Not at Rose, which would have made sense as they were practically siblings with the way they acted toward each other. Not even Jack, who had been having fun flirting with everyone - especially because Y/n wasn't anywhere near as hard to get as Rose or the Doctor. Y/n looked at the Doctor, and begged to die by his side, and Jack and Rose looked at each other because the need that Y/n had to steal all the time he had left to spend with the Doctor of all people... it said something Y/n was not ready to find the actual words for.

"Of course you can," the Doctor whispered.

And he did. Y/n was there as they reached the not-bomb that was actually some sort of alien ambulance. He was there when they saved Nancy and gathered the troops. And when it came time, he left too.

"Nancy, take Rose to where you cut the gate. And take this!" He tossed his sonic screwdriver at Rose and she caught it.

"I ought to go as well," Y/n spoke up.

The Doctor looked confused by that. "No I need you here. I promised you'd-"

"Doctor," Y/n interrupted. He took a shaky breath. "I can feel it coming. Soon I'm going to be one of them. Mindless, and coming after you, and you won't be able to stop me. I will kill all of you. Make you just like them." His face darkened. "Like us." He shook his head and Rose and the Doctor looked at each other, trying to find the answer in each other that neither of them had. Y/n steeled himself. "So this is goodbye."

The Doctor stood there for a few seconds. Too many seconds. He was trying to say something, but didn't seem to be able to. "Y/n?" The man answered to his name, and the men locked eyes. "Do you remember the first time we ever set out, and you told me... you told me that Rose was the most important person to you? You joked that no one would ever be that important to you, except someone who would be... special." He let air out of his nose. "You were special to me. More special than most people."

Y/n smiled, fighting tears. "You are special to me too, Doctor." He looked away. "I'm sorry our journey ended so early. I think... I think it could have been special, too."

Then there was nothing else to say, so he left with Rose and Nancy, the three of them booking it to the fence. Y/n stepped through and watched as Nancy and Rose fixed the metal so he wouldn't be able to get back in.

"Did you mean it?" Rose asked, looking at her best friend for what could very well be the last time. "That I was important to you? And that the Doctor was special enough to be just as important?"

The silence stretched for too long. Rose wasn't sure if it was painful to talk with that thing pushing its way up Y/n's throat, or if it was his human fear that kept his lips sealed, but Y/n didn't say anything for a very long time. The fence was sealed and the women stood before he finally spoke. "Do you think differently of me?" He rushed to add, "I know it's obvious. I saw the way you look between us like you expect us to lose our minds and make out right there. I see the way you and Jack looked at each other before too. Like you were watching a romance movie that had a sad ending. One you didn't expect, or think fair. I'm not as subtle as I like to think I am."

Rose scoffed. "You think I think differently of you because you're in love with the Doctor? Why? Because he's an alien?" She narrowed her eyes. "Or because he's a man?" Y/n looked away. "Y/n, you're my best friend. After all we've been through with the Doctor, you're practically my brother. I have been waiting ages now for you to admit your feelings for him. I didn't know until we started traveling, but it doesn't change the fact that you're there for me more than anyone else. You protect me and care about me. Your heart is bigger than all of the universes put together, and you bleed gold - I swear to god. You and the Doctor... you give him something I don't think anyone ever could. You understand something I can't wrap my head around. The way you mourn even the worst of us, because you see potential. The way you can do that, but still stop evil and remove yourself from harm because as much as you pity people who destroy themselves and others, you also won't tolerate their destruction. You're one of the most amazing men I've ever met, and don't think I'm just saying that because you were my first boyfriend.” It was a reference to When they’d first met; Y/n had pretended to be Rise’s boyfriend to get a creep to go away.

Both of them laughed at that, tears falling down their faces. "I remember that." Y/n slipped his hands in his pockets and the mood dropped again. "In another world, Rose, I wouldn't have ever left your side. I really do love you. And even if I am feeling... things, for the Doctor." His eyebrows came together. "You were always my first priority. I just know that he cares about you, too. He has your back, but someone needs to have his. Someone who really understands. And... you get distracted sometimes. But that's okay, because you always have my back, so we watch each other like that." His voice broke as he continued, "Had." Y/n and Rose locked eyes. "You watch him for me, alright? You two..." He laughed again. "I know you two are like me and him. I know he'll never admit it in a million years, but you two. It's subtle and quiet and innocent, but I can see it. I see it in the way he says your name, and the way you trust him. If you don't end up happy because of me I'll come back from the dead just to kick your asses."

Tears fell harder down Rose's face as she laughed again. "You're an idiot."

"Your idiot," Y/n replied without missing a beat.

Rose's expression fell. "How am I supposed to go on these journeys without you? Go back home and face my mum, who needs you around because you're the only one who'll listen to her gossip without giving her an ear load in return? Who will tell Mickey off now that I'm so different and we-" She choked on her words. "You can't go, Y/n."

"I don't want to..." His vision blurred and the pain that had been rising steadily came in full force now. Y/n leaned against the fence, bending at the middle a little bit as his other hand rose so his fingers could wrap around his throat. "I'm sorry, Rose. I- I-" He began sobbing, but stopped as it made the pain worse. "I'm- m-" He shook his head. He didn't want to hear himself say it... Then the thought occurred to him that the people might be trapped in their heads. Conscious and aware, but out of control. Would he see the face of every person he condemned to live like him? Would he sit there and see them and have to touch them anyway? Every single person until... until what? They didn't die. He wouldn't die. He would turn person after person until they were all brain dead and trapped just like him. "Rose."

"I'm here," she whispered, her voice haunted. "I'm right here, Y/n."

Y/n closed his eyes. "Run. Please - PLEASE don't see me like this. Don't see me- m- mummy-" The word forced itself out of his mouth and he whimpered, flinching upon hearing it. Rose made a sound that was half groan and half whine. This was hurting her. "Rose, Ru-" And then he looked up and locked eyes with the girl who had become his sister, and he thought of her and the Doctor before everything went black.

When he woke up again, he was somewhere new. He expected to see himself marching toward his friends, condemning them to death. He expected to see someone else about to be wrapped in his deadly clutches perhaps. But all he saw, instead, was a lot of lights and people and a blue beam with something large and cylinder in it. He saw his hands next. He reached them up to touch his face and they answered him. His face was skin. It was smooth and a little warm. There was no leather or metal. He wasn't wearing a gas mask.

"Y/N!" He turned in time to be rammed into by a smaller blonde. Her hair went into his face and he felt both panic and relief.

"You- you can't touch me. Rose what have you done?" He demanded rather harshly.

She shook her head, her body shaking as she sobbed. "You're cured, Y/n. You're all better. The Doctor - he figured it out. A brilliant man, he is. Truly brilliant."

Allowing himself a moment to process that, Y/n stayed quiet and just hugged Rose for a second. Once it did settle, though, he needed to know something. "Is the Doctor okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine." Rose and Y/n parted, turning their gazes to land on the Doctor himself. The man was grinning, his eyes light up with joy.

Y/n grinned back. "Guess you're not getting rid of me that easily, Doctor."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," the Doctor replied. He slipped his screwdriver in his pocket. "On we go, then. There's one more thing we have to do before we can celebrate." And just like that, Y/n was okay and not dead and they were all together. Things had been said that they were ignoring for now, because none of them could acknowledge them. Not yet. Right now, they had more important things.

At least that's how they reasoned it. Easier that way. Much, much easier.

"I'm sorry, we'd be sending you to your death?" Y/n demanded.

"Yes," the Slitheen responded.

The Doctor turned to face the man who looked about ready to blow a circuit. "Y/n, I know how you feel. Trust me, I do. We all do. But-"

"No buts!" Y/n argued. "She just wants to be free! Her whole family was killed and she had to run away or die with them. Can you imagine what it would be like to have to run, knowing everyone you care about would be gone? Being helpless to save them, because you messed with the wrong planet? Because you do what you always did. What you were TAUGHT to do?"

That seemed to hit a chord with the Doctor. "It doesn't matter, Y/n. It doesn't!" The Doctor shot again when Y/n went to argue. "She would have killed everyone here without a second thought. What are we supposed to do? She almost destroyed this entire planet for a bit of money, and then AGAIN just to get off of it and go somewhere else. Every single life on Earth, GONE, because she wanted a lift somewhere else."

Y/n looked away. "I can't do this one with you, then. I- I know it's necessary. I know you have to do it. I can't sit by and let you though, so I'm going to leave." He turned on Margaret then. "If you hurt him, I will destroy you, do you understand me? These people are MY family, and if you hurt them I will hunt you down and I tie you up and stick a needle in you and I will pump your body full of vinegar - do I make myself clear?"

Margaret looked scared... and a little impressed. "Yes sir." She looked to the Doctor as Y/n walked away. "You found your soulmate, eh?"

The Doctor didn't answer as far as Y/n knew. It was a relief to know that even if the Doctor had responded, Y/n hadn't been there to hear it.

He did manage to stay away a very long time. He only came back when the Earth under his feet began to crack and the lights went crazy and the sky began to glow and everything began to shake. He couldn't stay at home when things were going to wrong. When Rose and the Doctor and Jack could be dying. So Y/n raced back to the TARDIS, reaching it just as everything began to calm down. He pushed open those doors, praying that it wasn't the calm before the storm and the world was about to end.

When he opened the doors, he saw something he wasn't expecting. Te Doctor stood, Rose and Jack on either side of him, an egg in his hand. "What's that?"

Grinning, the Doctor hefted the thing as Y/n entered the TARDIS, closing the doors behind him. "This is Margaret." When Y/n was rightfully confused, the Doctor explained. He recounted the nights' adventures up until Margaret had looked into the heart of the TARDIS and had reverted to what she was now. "She told me..." The Doctor looked at Y/n with a soft look in his eyes. "She told me to tell you thank you. Before she died."

Y/n smiled to himself. "Well, she's welcome." Then he turned away. "Now, let's get her home shall we?"

"You want us to face those things with guns? There are six of us."

"Actually," The Doctor piped up. "Rose, Y/n, can you help me strip these wires? The faster we do it the sooner I can get this done."

"Uh, sure," Rose agreed, heading over to where the Doctor was crouched.

"Four of us," the woman corrected herself. Y/n hadn't caught her name yet. He made a mental note to do so when they gunned down the Daleks together later. Because he had seen something in the Doctor when he asked for help. Something that made Y/n suspicious.

"Five actually." Everyone looked at Y/n in surprise. "If we're arguing our need for time, Rose can help here and I can help keep those things from getting here for as long as possible. Maybe-" He stopped himself. "Maybe I can take down enough to make them not a threat at all." It was a joke that fell short, but one that made everyone offer at least a small smile. The Doctor went to argue, and that's when Y/n got serious. "I can't stay up here and strip wires when people are dying, Doctor. I won't."

The Doctor seemed to have pain in his eyes. "I can't stop you, can I?" He was begging Y/n. Desperately pleading for him to stay there. To do as the Doctor wanted him to.

This time, Y/n wasn't going to though. His arm was still bleeding and his other leg had a limp from his game. Y/n had looked death in the face twice now and avoided it. He figured he was on borrowed time anyway. Even if that wasn't true, Jack had saved Y/n's life. He had been the one to find Y/n and pull him out of that game right before he died. If they were all going to die anyway - or, at least, most of them - he would be by Jack's side to repay that debt. "You can't."

Once again, the Doctor and Y/n exchanged a look they both believed would be the last they shared. Ever since Y/n had been turned into one of the empty people when they met Jack, the Doctor had been significantly more protective of Y/n. Y/n was a man though and had been staying firm when he made his mind up, no matter how much the Doctor tried.

"Not at all?" The Doctor tried again.

Y/n smiled. "You know, Doctor. I've been pretty obedient until recently. I didn't stray too far or wander off, because I chose to stay behind and let you know where Rose had gone and that she was okay. Or that she wasn't. I did what you wanted me to. And then I died, and I realized that there is more important thing to life than sitting back and letting you take control just because you know more than I do. This is my choice, and I'm making it."

After a second, the Doctor nodded and Y/n took off with Jack and the others, headed to face the Daleks with a bunch of guns.

Y/n did help some. He watched each and every person on the Station die, and he ended up pressed against a wall with Jack at his side and Daleks charging the pair without hesitation. He had lost. But he had helped, even if it wasn't nearly enough to make a difference.

"Go ahead and warn the Doctor they're coming," Jack ordered. He spoke again before Y/n could argue. "I'll hold them off. I know you don't want to, but the Doctor needs warning, and I... I don't want see you die. Not again."

Pain flared in Y/n's chest then. "You're a good man, Jack."

"Thanks, but we don't have time for one of your goodbye speeches." Jack scoffed at himself. "You know, I did always want one though."

Y/n laughed, tears in his eyes. Why did he always end up here? "How about I give you a kiss on the cheek and you can return it later? I can give you that goodbye speech another day, when we have time."

Jack paused, and then nodded. "I'd like that." So Y/n kissed him on the cheek and then ran when the Daleks turned the corner, feeling his heart drop when the tell tale sign of death hit Y/n's ears in the form of Jack's scream. They'd both known this was what was going to happen. Y/n would never get that kiss, and Jack would never get that speech, but it had been nice that they'd parted holding onto that impossibility. Y/n hoped it had been what Jack was thinking when he died.

Unfortunately, Y/n didn't have much time to lament about it. "Doctor!" He ran into the room, stopping in the doorway. Y/n knew about the delta wave, and he knew what was about to happen. He knew why the Doctor had wanted Y/n and Rose to stay. Y/n had gone though, and now he was going to die with the rest of them. He wouldn't have it any other way. First, he needed to say something though. "Doctor, last time I faced death, I said something that we never talked about again. But we've had even more time together now and after all the regret I had last time, I- I can't die again without telling you-"

"I know," the Doctor said, interrupting. "I hate death confessions. I always have. It's not fair, you know. Telling me something like that and then running off and dying before I can do anything about it."

Even now, the Doctor was making jokes. Dear lord. "I came back, though. And you didn't do anything about it." Y/n huffed in amusement. "You never would have, huh?"

The Doctor swallowed. "This would always been the end, Y/n. At the best, you would have gotten older. You would have moved on. I can't... I can't."

Y/n nodded. "I know. I understand. I really do, Doctor. And with Rose too - I can't imagine that ever getting settled. But I need you to know-" But Y/n didn't get to finish his sentence, because there was that horrible sound and Y/n's scream and then everything went black. Except this time, he wasn't unconscious.

He was dead. Y/n was dead. As dead as it gets.

Death and Y/n didn't see to get along though, because only a few minutes later Y/n was gasping back to life, scrambling on the floor. He was disoriented and confused, but he saw a bright light and heard distant but familiar voices. He crawled around to get a better view without the large silver things he couldn't quite focus his vision on just yet. What he saw was Rose Tyler and the Doctor and the TARDIS. The Doctor kissed Rose and a light, far brighter than Y/n had seen anything be, traveled between the two of them and Rose fell.

"Doctor?" Y/n croaked.

The Doctor turned in surprise to see Y/n on the floor. "You were dead."

Y/n shrugged, his head spinning. "I feel... sick now. Just sick." His eyes fell to Rose. "I- Is she dead?"

"No," the Doctor reassured. "We need to go though. Come along, will you? We have lots to talk about." Y/n nodded, wobbling to his feet and then into the TARDIS as the Doctor scooped Rose up and set her on the floor of the TARDIS. He began to pilot the ship and as it set a course for what Y/n assumed was London, the Doctor turned on Y/n. He looked a little shaken. The glowing seemed to be moving under his skin, shimmering. But now it didn't seem beautiful, as it had before. It seemed wrong. Definitely dangerous. "Explain yourself."

"I... don't know."

The Doctor looked at Rose. "Ah." He looked back. "It seems I'm the one who has explaining to do." Again he glowed and the Doctor teetered, wincing in pain. "A... lot of explaining, it seems."

Y/n, worried and very confused and a little terrified, nodded. "Get on with it then. We don't have all day."

"Well... I don't," The Doctor agreed. "But I will. Or... you will, with someone else."

Y/n's breathing got heavier. "Doctor-"

"Y/n," the Doctor interrupted, moving close and taking Y/n's face between his hands. "Beautiful, empathetic, caring, protective Y/n. You've gotten your goodbye speeches, let me have mine."

And then the Doctor kissed Y/n, just like he had Rose. Except there was no light or glow, just a kiss. When they parted, it was because the Doctor groaned in pain. A pain that seemed to be growing. "Doctor?" Y/n rushed, scrambling to help the man stand.

The Doctor didn't ever get to say he loved Y/n back, but that kiss had said enough. It didn't really matter though, because it was then that Rose woke up. Then that everything would change forever. Not too much, but plenty enough. The Doctor changed. Changed into someone more controlled and reserved. Someone who couldn't express emotions as well as he could before. Y/n had changed too, though he didn't know that yet. He had changed into someone the Doctor couldn't accept.

To say, things were about to get really fucking complicated.

"He says that the yellow girl and her companion have the blue box, so they are the only ones able to speak for this planet."

"You can't," Harriet Jones, now Prime Minister, insisted.

"Someone has to be the Doctor," Rose began.

Whatever she was going to say was cut off by Y/n stepping forward though. No one questioned it. This entire time, Y/n had been the one who had seemed to have any idea on what to do. He didn't have much more a grip than Rose did, but what he did have was just enough that everyone seemed to naturally be stepping back to give him the reigns in the Doctor's place. Y/n stepped up and faced an alien race he had no idea how to defeat with no fear on his face. Maybe it was that the man had died twice now, or that his friends were in danger and nothing made Y/n more hostile than facing down people who threatened his friends. Y/n was different than the boy that had agreed to come along on a journey of a life time to make sure Rose was safe. Not so different that he didn't have mercy, but different enough that he not only didn't tolerate people who were willing to harm others, but he was willing to destroy them for the greater good. To protect those who could not protect themselves. That didn't stop him from pitying wasted life, but it did stop him from hesitating.

"Why do you want to kill humans?" Y/n demanded. The Sycorax leader faced Y/n down, but Y/n didn't step back even a little bit. He said something to Y/n, and the agents by Harriet translated.

"He says humans are simple and meaningless. They need to be conquered. They-"

"Now you stop right there," Y/n interrupted. Everyone behind Y/n and everyone in the crowd seemed to react to that. The people in fear, and the crowd in anger. It seemed no one liked that Y/n had interrupted the alien leader that was perfectly capable of killing. But Y/n didn't care about that. He needed to think, and he needed time to do that, and he was absolutely not about to let this monster conquer his planet without fighting back. He didn't know much or think as fast as the Doctor, but he could figure it out. He could figure SOMETHING out. Because he had to. "This planet isn't filled with a bunch of idiots. We may have a few bad eggs. We may make choices that are so incredibly daft, but we're incredible as well. We learn and grow and continue without being stopped. We defy death, even. We defy logic and reason. We're harder to wipe out than a hoard of roaches. We stick around and fight back. You can try your hardest to pin us under your thumb, or kill us off when we refuse, but it'll never be over and even if you do win this battle. Even if you do take this planet now. We will come back in such force that you will wish you had never made the mistake of messing with us. And it may not be now. It may not be in a decade, or several, or even a century. But it will happen, as it always does. And when it does happen, you will fear us."

"You want to be big? Then I will show you how small you are." Too late they all realized the Sycorax had spoken in English. Too late, because he flicked his staff and like a whip, a coil of electricity shot out and attached to Y/n's chest. He screamed and fell to a knee and his friends screamed behind him, but when the electricity left, Y/n was... fine.

Chaos erupted from the crowd. Y/n stood slowly, even his friends behind him whispering in chatter that sounded... fearful. What had just happened?

"SILENCE!" The Sycorax screamed. The crowd begrudgingly went hush, but a small voice from behind Y/n spoke up still.

"You should be dead. I watched him kill them with that- that- staff. You should be dead."

"And I'm not," Y/n brought up rather pointlessly. He sounded far more calm than he meant to though, so there was that.

The Sycorax leader stumbled back in obvious fear. Y/n stood taller. "That's impossible."

"It should be," A voice that was growing familiar spoke up. The small crowd behind Y/n parted and there stood the new man who was the Doctor but also wasn't. That man strutted forward, an expression on his face that was sort of bitter sweet, but leaning more bitter. "It doesn't sit well with me either, if I'm honest."

"Took you long enough," Y/n mumbled under his breath.

"Better late than never," the man shot back. And that was when Y/n saw the Doctor. If a bit more rude and quicker to respond... still the Doctor.

Long story short, the Doctor handled things as he always did. After Y/n's show of immunity to the Sycorax's one hit kill staff, there wasn't much work to do. There was calling the bluff of what turned out to be blood control, which couldn't go as far as the Sycorax said it could. And then there was the sword fight that was brought about by some law or another, but also threatened to happen because if the Sycorax leader didn't agree, the Doctor would "release" Y/n on him. It ended with the Doctor victorious, and Sycorax ship sailing off as the humans left all returned to the ground with the TARDIS.

Then, as they were running away, Harriet Jones shot them down with a beam from a group she called Torchwood, and killed them while their backs were turned.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" Y/n roared, rushing to the smaller woman. Harriet was suddenly shaking, faced with a man who seemed to be repelling death like it was a light cold and he had work to get to. "They were running away!"

"They could come back," she insisted rather quietly.

"They couldn't," The Doctor argued, standing just behind Y/n, at his side. "The fight - it was agreed. I won, Earth is free from them."

Harriet scoffed. "He attacked you the second you turned your back, and his people will surely do the same." Y/n flared but Harriet seemed to find her courage then. "You weren't there, Doctor. And you will not always be there. Y/n did a very good job of taking your place, but he won't always be here either. One day we will be faced with an enemy we cannot take down with a simple sword fight, and you may not be there to help."

"I should have told them to run from the monster," The Doctor sneered. "I should have told them to run as far and as fast as they could, because the real monster was sitting there, waiting for the moment to strike."

Harriet solidified herself. "I was there when that staff killed two good men. Right in front of me, and I could do nothing to stop it. I won't be helpless ever again. I have people to protect."

There was quiet for a moment, and then the Doctor stepped in front of Y/n, who had been stunned by such stupidity and selfishness that he was struck dumb. "You know, humans are so simple. I can end you entire career without lifting a single finger. I could do it without much trouble. Without even lifting one finger, all your hard work. Gone."

"Stop it," Harriet demanded, that fear from before returning.

"Six words," the Doctor stated calmly.

"Stop," Harriet hissed, coming undone by his terrifying calm.

"Just six words." And then he moved... but not to Harriet. He moved to the last man left that seemed to work with Harriet, and he leaned close and whispered something in the man's ear. Then he leaned away and turned around and walked away, hands in his pockets and face empty of regret or emotion in general. Harriet panicked behind them, begging the Doctor and the man the Doctor had spoken to tell her something. Anything. But she never got her answer.

Not in the way she wanted.

When they were away from her, Y/n rounded on the Doctor. "I'm still alive, and she said I shouldn't be."

The Doctor sighed. "When Rose looked into the heart of the TARDIS, she... brought you back. Honestly, I knew, and I saw, but I was in shock and in pain because I was dying and I was too scared to leave you behind. Far, far more scared of losing you than I was of what you had become."

Y/n looked as if he'd been slapped. "What do you mean, what I've become? You don't want me anymore?"

"That's the thing isn't it?" The Doctor sighed. "Rose doesn't even know. She forgot everything. And you weren't alive to see it. To get back to me, to us, she looked into the heart of the TARDIS. Like when Margaret became an egg. She looked and she gained immeasurable power. Power over time and space, completely. Over life, even. All she had to do was set your existence through out all time and space, and you're alive. But she didn't know how to hone it, so now you'll... probably always be alive. You can't die, I'd reckon."

"At all?" Y/n squeaked.

The Doctor shrugged. "There's no knowing for sure unless we test it, but if back there means anything, I'd say that no, you can't die. I'd even bet you can't age."

Y/n let out a breath. "So I'll be this age, alive, forever?"

"I'd say so," the Doctor confirmed. There was a moment of silence. "I feel guilty."

"Why?" Y/n asked, looking up from where his eyes had dropped.

A soft sigh escaped the Doctor then. "I'm glad of it." Y/n rose a questioning eyebrow, and the Doctor continued. "I've never been able to be really with someone before. I knew they'd go eventually. They die or move on or grow too old for this life, or get torn up by the life style or they're stolen from me. You... you're different, though. Humans age and get old, but I regenerate. I mean, a relationship like that would be one sided. Eventually I'd be alone again. But you don't age, or die, and I'm sitting here in a predicament where I just so happen to be in love with you." He released a breath, as if the words had been weighing him down. "It's so much easier to say that knowing I may actually not lose you."

Slowly, a smile rose to Y/n's face. "Well, if you don't already know I love you too I might have to kick your ass right here and now."

The Doctor released a shaky sort of laugh. After a second, he looked away, his smile fading. "Y/n, there's something you need to know about me."

Y/n sucked in a breath and released it again sharply, his hands fidgeting. "What about?"

"I've had a lot of companions, and I have lost every single one. Rose and you aren't the first, even though you two are... different." He shook his head. "But I had something real before this life. I had a family. I was a father. A husband. I had a life. And it was all taken from me."

For a second, Y/n didn't seem to know what to say. But then he found it, and whispered very gently, "Doctor, I'm weird. I don't... I don't fall in love, really. It's unusual for me to do so. I've only ever fancied one person other than you. I've never taken much to romance and it's never seemed important to me. Like you, the first person I felt like this for... they understood this feeling too. Their father died in a war and mother in childbirth and they spent their whole life being passed from person to person and never having a family or a home. This isn't my first time, though I will say that it is my second. I do know one thing though. If you need time to work this out. If you need something I can't fill... What I mean to say is, I'm happy when you're happy. I'm not asking you to marry me, or start a family with me or whatever. I'm not asking for an immediate serious relationship. Just because we feel the way we do about each other doesn't mean we have to limit ourselves to those feelings. I know you've felt love like this many times, and I know that... you may feel it again in the future, or even now." He shrugged it away. "I know this is going to take time. But I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Ever, it seems. That you can count on. Everything else... As long as you come back to me at the end of the day, I don't care about everything else."

And then the Doctor did something splendid. He kissed Y/n. And Y/n did something even greater. He kissed back.

It was a great kiss. One of many. Because this journey? It had only just begun!

Male readers: @sheepfather

#dr who #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #dr who imagine #dr who x reader #dr who x male reader #ninth doctor imagine #ninth doctor x male reader #ninth doctor x reader #tenth doctor imagine #tenth doctor x reader #tenth doctor x male reader #male reader #dr who fanfic #dr who angst

341 notes · View notes

writings-of-a-hufflepuff · 5 years ago

Text

Prompt List #9 - Historical Aus/Prompts (Requested)

@viseriyen I know your focus was more 18th century France, but I never covered that during my degree, my focus was more 19th century Britain. This has a variety of historical aus/prompts, they won’t all be relevant and I can’t guarantee their historical accuracy for France, but I hope they help, give you ideas etc.

“I can’t...you know I have no control over my marriage. I can’t even divorce him...I have nothing to hold against him.” “Then give him something to divorce you for.” “And tarnish my good name?”

AU in which character a is desperately in love with character b, but can’t divorce their husband because divorce laws make it nigh on impossible for ‘wives’ to divorce their husbands without a ‘legitimate reason’.

Intense heated love letters because we have to keep our distance and can’t do anything that would jeopardise our positions or our reputations. But, I can send you lusty love letters that you hide under your pillow instead.

Illegitimate child/unwed pregnancy and the trials of being together, loving your child together but knowing they have little standing in society and the way people treat you because of that.

Fan language AU -> https://raulersongirlstravel.com/language-of-fans/#The_Language_of_the_Fan

My parents are trying to marry me off and you're the latest person they’ve brought to show me off to and I don’t want to like you, but I kind of do. You clearly don’t want to be here anymore than me.

The smallest touch is the most intense.

You went off to war and come back after a long campaign the papers have been reporting on. You have appear gruff, mean, and cold to everyone else, but are soft with me.

The typical trope of hardened, gruff character a who melts around character b.

(19th c) I’m the town’s school teacher and you’re the gruff wanderer/traveller/cowboy/outlaw/etc. That’s come to town. You help me fix the school house and wrangle the little demons I teach.

Sweetheart trinkets, like embroidered handkerchiefs, engraved jewellery, hidden message rings, carved trinkets etc. Especially a ‘here I made this for you or I had this made for you’.

Letters that were never sent. After character a’s death the letters are found and posted to or given to character b revealing the unsaid feelings.

We compete for top spot in school in spelling, mathematics, science etc. School rivals.

Character a bathing in a river, character b awkwardly stumbling upon them all apologetic or alternatively character a bathing in a river and character b protecting them from some no good ruffians.

Horse rides; for leisure, maybe character a was stranded and has to share a horse with character b, being stuck in a carriage together.

Childhood rivals who finally see each other after years of being apart, maybe because of boarding school/finishing school or otherwise. The horrible realisation that your rival is now hot and also can keep up with you in conversation.

Those gentle kisses to the top of a hand or gentle touches between gloved hands. Gentle hands!!! Gentle kisses!! All demure and totally appropriate but with hidden meaning and heat.

Childhood friends who haven’t seen each other since they were little and are now betrothed and oh my, you’re beautiful/handsome and I am not prepared for this.

We’re betrothed but have only ever communicated through letters and this is our first ever meeting and i’m petrified you aren’t going to be the person I know through letters

Perfume scented letters, secret code, love poems, and dried flowers. Sent long distances to you with love.

Contraception catalogues and the very specific packaging of sheaths (aka early condoms) as things like pill boxes, ladies power boxes, cigarettes, etc. to hide them. Do with this as you will.

I am spinster, you are a bachelor and we have a rivalry because how dare you get paid more than me and while i’m compared to a rotten egg. Alternatively, I am spinster by choice and refuse to marry, but you are making this very very hard.

Gals being pals, boys being ‘mates’, the known cases of boarding school love between same sex couples and also we’re both spinsters/bachelours and work together in our intellectual studies and we’re totally not in love...no sireee.

Oscar Wilde had a thing working class and military kink so do with that what you will, i’m sure you could make a upperclass/working class au/couple. One’s rough, resilient, hard working, and one’s dainty, far too spoiled and brattish but they both like each other somehow.

You’re gruff and rough/snappy, rude, but I can see how sweet you are to horses, animals, kids, and I know there’s a softer side beneath all of that.

It’s my first ‘season’ and you save me from all these men/women sniffing around me trying to get my attention.

Scandalous private time i.e. we’re supposed to be chaperoned but here we are in the garden on our own together or in the woods alone or in a small corner without a chaperone and what would people say.

Character a defending character b’s honour.

You’re my second in a duel/I’m your second in a duel, please don’t die

All the duels, duelling each other, duelling for the other, defending the other’s honour etc.

You look beautiful but dear god why are there so many layers!

I just spent an hour drawing you a bath bucket by bucket because I love you, but i’m a hot mess right now as a result.

You break social convention for my comfort. I.e. something like you forgo allowing people to watch our wedding night because you want me to be comfortable or you refuse to allow some other stupid tradition that you know scares/intimidates/upsets me.

Over the top professions of love.

“I would die, without an answer to my feelings. I would die here. My breath would choke in my throat, my blood run cold, and my selfish heart stop. I cannot live without answer, without knowing whether my feelings are returned or not.”

Character a being the dotting husband/wife/partner and helping character b get out of all that ridiculous clothing so they can cuddle and sleep. Who needs maids and servants when you have a life partner.

I want a partnership, a kindred spirit, a soul mate, not a servant. You want the same thing. I am awed by this. (possibly + we’re rivals, childhood enemies etc.)

Your family don’t approve of me, and mine don’t approve of you. I wish we could simply run away, but that’s a foolish dream.

Educated woman expects man to talk about her wandering womb and how education will make her insane and barren, instead finds man actually wants to hold an intellectual conversation with her and they strike up and unexpected friendship and then love.

Character a denying themselves of character b because they don’t feel good enough or because they feel it would be selfish maybe because they’re in a war or because they can’t provide what they feel character b deserves. Character b is not here for this bullshit.

We get trapped in a small cabin in a snowstorm together wild west au.

We get trapped in any small space in any time period au

I would say we should stop having children but I love each and every one of them and I love you too. Large family AU.

We’ve just lost our child in infancy, grief, hurt/comfort.

You’re in labour and i’m terrified for you. I am not allowed in the birthing chamber and the midwife would murder me if I tried.

Alternatively, I refuse to not be present for the birth of our child and don’t care what anyone says. I'm here to support you and will be physically in the room.

You’re competing for my affections but you never had to compete because you always had them.

You do not have to duel everyone for me over the smallest slight, look now you’ve gone and hurt yourself and I suppose I’ll have to give you my favourite handkerchief to deal with it.

I am pro royalist and you are pro-republic. I should hate you, you should hate me, but god if you aren’t all consuming.

You’re one of my suitors and the gifts you bring me aren’t jewels or flowers, but books, microscopes, telescopes, knowledge. I like the way you think and seem to seem me.

I am nearly trampled by someone’s horse in the street, but you step in just in time to get me out of the way even though it puts you in danger yourself

Despite the cost of sugary treats you always turn up to my parlour with some sort of sweet and I know they’re not the cheapest.

Anything involving a copper bathtub is a vibe.

I always look for your seal on my letters. Yours is the first letter I read and the one I treasure most.

I have kept every note, every little, every little thing you’ve ever written or drawn for me.

If images inspire you you might find my other blog @theillustratedmagazine helpful. It has 20th and 19th century illustrations.

#prompt list #prompts #writing prompts #writing prompt #writing prompt list

47 notes · View notes

jadelotusflower · 4 years ago

Text

Robin Hood Rewatch: 2x08 Get Carter!

This is actually one of my favourite episodes of the season, partly because I really enjoy relationship angst, but mostly because we get multiple characters dealing with their trauma/grief. If we can't get these guys and gals into therapy, at least we get to see them talk (and hug) it out.

Also the best episode title they're had for a while - I have no doubt one of the writers is a fan, and Carter is so named only because they wanted to make this reference. The assassin seeking revenge for a dead brother is wholesale lifted from the plot of the film, and Joseph Kennedy almost has a passing resemblance to Michael Caine's look in that role.

"Get Carter - before Carter gets you!"

Carter is one of the only guest stars they actually will bring back later, and for good reason.

"Why don't you ever kiss my ring?" Vaisey, always making things creepy.

Marian is simmering with unrestrained anger, eager to get into the fight, while Robin is the one advocating for the watch and see approach, and it’s quite the role reversal.

The gang's reaction to her charging off is quite funny though, she knocks John over completely and Djaq throws her hands in the air.

Robin’s now getting a taste of what the rest of the gang have to put up with dealing with his recklessness.

Tying Marian up in the middle of a melee, however, is disgusting behaviour - while Marian was hot-headed throwing herself into the fight (nothing Robin hasn't done before himself), he knows that she can hold her own with a sword and doesn't need protecting. Tying her hands is the absolute worst thing he could have done, because how is she meant to defend herself? I can somewhat understand where Robin is coming from in this episode (even if he goes about it badly), but this is unjustifiable.

Clearly she gave that guard she clanked on the head amnesia, because he never reports back that Marian was fighting with the gang.

“I owe you my life”/“I won’t take it just yet.” Nice.

Scimitar is still missing in action.

Robin doesn’t want Marian to be seen in case she needs to return to the castle, when he’s spent the whole season urging for her to join the gang. I think he realises he made a mistake asking her to flee last episode without giving her time to deal with her grief, and wants to leave her options open. But telling her that she’s not ready to make the decision (about whatever she wants to go back), however correct, is patronising.

There's a fundamental conflict that Marian wants to be treated like a member of the gang, but doesn't want to cede to Robin's authority like the rest of the gang - in turn Robin expects her to follow his orders like the others, but isn't treating her like he would the others either - he would never tie them up to keep them out of a fight, and Marian has every right to pissed at him about it.

Djaq and Much having a little tête-à-tête about Carter - I just really enjoy that they’re often paired together in these gang scenes, they balance/play off each other so well. Just this pure platonic frazzled vs calm vibe.

Much just has this really great memory for faces - he was able to recognise fake Richard last season just from his profile despite wearing a helmet, and now he knows he remembers Carter's face from somewhere (or as it will turn out, Carter's brother).

Much really just does not let up, and I love that about him. "You'll be disappointed though, with uh, today's wound. I mean if you're planning to go back to the Holy Land and, uh, kill him." That not so subtle probing for information and Sam Troughton's delivery is always perfect.

"Wasn't me, was it?" Oh Much, so close.

“The crusty one” - lol

It's not explicit, but implied that Vaisey and Guy believe Edward was the one passing information to Robin, and Marian is cleared of any suspicion (paving the way for her return). Guess Guy never showed the Sheriff that hair dagger after all.

Vaisey is actually giving Guy some really good advice here, albeit laced with his usual cruelty and getting all up in Guy's personal space.

"Grow up Gisborne" - now I don't think it's deliberate on Vaisey's part to invoke a Marian parlance, seeing as she really only says this to Robin (and once to Much), but it's a nice little callback, however unintentional.

Marian asks for an apology (and deserves one), but Robin doubles down and doesn't come out of this exchange well.

Because his delivery is terrible, but he's otherwise quite correct - as skilled as Marian is, she’s used to relying on (and having to worry about) only herself and not work in a team, and look to a single point of command. But both of them have their backs up - they're two strong personalities and neither is going to give ground, reverting to the ideological clashes of season 1, except now in much closer quarters.

Robin's also not used to being challenged in this particular way, and in his frustration is reacting like a captain disciplining a soldier, not a lover helping their partner through their grief. I do wonder if the conversation would have gone differently if they'd been alone.

lol at the gang awkwardly standing around listening to Robin and Marian fight. Djaq trying to busy herself with her mortar and pestle as Robin and Marian argue around her.

A really great scene between Marian and John aka the camp dad. Marian really just needs someone to listen to her and appreciate what she's going through - Robin is too fixated on the dangerous way she's channeling her grief and not even trying to address the root cause. He trying to tell her what to do, not listen to what she actually needs.

On the other hand it's probably better coming from John, a neutral party without the emotional baggage she has with Robin.

Because Robin and Marian are really being driven by completely different motives - Marian by grief and therefore loss, and Robin by trauma and therefore fear. In her sorrow, Marian has lost all her fear of being discovered, in fact she wants to make it know she's with the gang, to finally be free to say which side she's on and fight openly, to make her father's death worthwhile, and can't understand why Robin is trying to stifle that.

"I thought you used to have your own men Little John?" So someone remembers Forrest and Hanton!

After Carter takes down the gang one by one, Robin takes down Carter in three seconds (including catching the long dagger Carter throws at him, and flinging it back) and it's lights out. Can you believe it's the first concussion of the season? (Notwithstanding the multiple head injuries Allan sustained last episode).

While Marian has been known to be punch-happy, the "he'll tell us more if he knows we're willing to hurt him" is just so (intentionally) out of character - it is however somewhat reminiscent of Robin in 1x08, wanting to get his punch and torture on with Guy. However rather than understanding where Marian is coming from, he pushes her away with the "go and cook something" jibe. This almost feels like he was going for familiar banter and miscued, but is also an asshole thing to say. When their positions were reversed in 1x08 Marian at least tried to reason with him - Robin is seems to be ill-equipped to do the same.

Allan just having a little snooze against the castle wall. He really seems defeated and depressed after last episode.

Marian's corset has a pouch to hold a dagger - or at least I hope there is because otherwise it's ouch time.

Leaving Marian at the camp is again a mistake on Robin's part - it excludes and isolates her from the gang, rather than trying to involve her so she can bond with them, engaging in their outreach to the peasants - who she helped as the Nightwatchman, but never really had the opportunity to come to know. It would remind her that they are not just fighting against the Sheriff but for the people, which in her frenzied grief she has perhaps lost sight of.

Instead, Robin's focus is on Carter, who he rather identifies with and so finds it easier to address his motives, and try and change them.

Carter is in many ways Robin’s dark mirror, what he could have become in the Holy Land if he chose a different path. It’s important that this happens right when Robin is backsliding - he’s trying to save his own soul as much as Carter’s.

Okay, let's talk about Marian’s forest gear - fashioned from the outfit she wore when she fled the castle the previous episode - but dear me it's awful. The grey culottes, rather than becoming trousers have now been turned into that corset, and her vest/skirt overlay have now become those trousers. Just baffling.

“I’m good with nuns” followed by Allan straight up knocking the Mother Superior over and stealing her ring is iconic.

Much gives Robin a sword to use going after Carter - still no scimitar.

I really love the confrontation/fight scene between Robin and Carter - it's very well choreographed and written, but we also see the best of Robin's character (after seeing some of the worst earlier).

Carter's brother is called Thomas - Allan's brother was called Tom. Lots of dead brothers in this show (including Djaq's).

The story of Carter's brother Thomas dying because he "stopped listening" and led a raid against orders is a little on the nose, but gives context to Robin’s fear for Marian’s safety in part triggered by his war trauma - someone charging in against orders and then dying in his arms.

But it shows Robin as a man who, even when Thomas' recklessness had cost not only his own life but others of Robin's men, was still moved to instruct the stretcher-bearers to make Thomas the hero, and himself the negligent captain, in order to comfort his family.

The fight is fairly even, and although Robin gets the upper hand in the end, it's only partly his skill - rather his true strength is in reaching the man inside the assassin, and then surrender and allow Carter to take his revenge if that's what he wants, and despite his fear, trust that there is good still in him, and that he can leave behind the life as a killer as Robin has done (tried to do).

This scene is the core of why I really love Robin as a character. He's riddled with PTSD and a reckless bravado, he's at time emotionally stunted with those he loves, makes terrible mistakes and often says the wrong thing, but he also has this great heart and compassion that allows him to reach people, to understand and help them, even at the risk of his own life. He's trying.

"He was a hero - just not on that day" is quite a poignant line.

Much and Djaq together again, just saying.

Robin finally finds out that Roger of Stoke was intercepted. I had assumed he'd figured that out once he knew Allan was a traitor but okay.

Poor Much crying out for Robin's attention - he's got his own trauma from the war and wants to talk about it, to commiserate with Robin about what they went though, but Robin can only cope by not talking about it, not even thinking about it.

Much makes a good point that Robin should have listened to him about recognising Carter, but it comes across as jealously over Marian and Robin misses just how deeply Much carries his hurt.

One of Robin's biggest flaws is that he's overwhelming in his affection, compassion, and understanding for strangers, but takes those he loves for granted - Carter's response to grief was the same as Marian's, but Robin listened to Carter, consoled and comforted him, while keeping Marian at arm's length. Perhaps because strangers don't ask for anything beyond that - it is the granting of kindness, but not the sharing of self. It's the latter Robin truly fears, but what Much and Marian deserve (although tbf Marian has problems with this as well).

“Either I’m part of your gang or I’m not” is a valid point, and Robin's still not happy even when she agrees to stay behind!

But she disobeys him, and saves his life. It's a rite of passage - almost all of the members of the gang have this.

Allan looking rather distressed as Guy is about the chop off Robin's head, and he makes a small movement just before the swing (as does Much).

Guy again pushing Marian past the point of discomfort - she left, wrote him a letter asking him to leave her alone, straight up told him to his face to leave her alone, and still he persists.

Her kissing Guy (to distract him from seeing Much and Will) is really the only time she sends mixed signals, but Guy's whole energy seems to be just to wear her down until she agrees to be with him and it's gross. It is however kind of amusing that he tries to be authoritative and forbid her from leaving, and she immediately walks away.

Robin and Marian are back in playful banter mode, although I wish there had been a deeper discussion (and that Robin had apologised in return). It doesn't quite feel like the conflict between them has been resolved, it really is just a "truce".

But I do like that it's Marian who reaches out to Robin at the end of this episode, because up until this point it's Robin who has been (somewhat) the one making overtures - asking her to join the gang, telling her he needs her, telling her he loves her, while Marian's been more reserved. This feels like her acknowledging that sometimes she needs to take the first step.

This was a long one - but as a I said, I really love this episode!

#robin hood bbc #robin hood rewatch #rewatch #2x08 #get carter!#long post #lots of rambling here sorry

4 notes · View notes

connan-l · 4 years ago

Text

All right, so now that I finally digested the final a little I have some random messy thoughts about Fruits Basket 2019. It got really long lol, but this has been stuck in my head for a while so I needed to get it out!

Honestly, it was a very good adaptation and I’m still in awe I was able able to see the whole manga animated. Fruits Basket is pretty important to me, as I read it for the first time when I was around twelve and it was definitely one of the series that impacted me the most — the way it tackles themes of cycle of abuse, loneliness, grief and moving forward still feel very special to me even now (I briefly wrote a post about it months ago after rereading the manga), so of course I was delighted upon hearing the reboot announced and for the most part, it didn’t disappoint. I’d never truly thought I’d be able to see characters like Rin or Machi actually move on screen in my lifetime so in a way it still feel surreal lmao (RIP to Komaki though). It was really refreshing to revisit the story in that way, especially given amusingly enough I am myself in the middle of some big changes in my life where I have to leave things behind so it felt sort of... well, I won’t say empowering per se, but quite encouraging and satisfying to watch Furuba, and especially its final, at this timing, in a way. It wasn’t perfect, there are certainly a lot of flawed directive choices that I question and unfortunately quite some important cut contents — but even at its lowest it stayed all in all good. I’m genuinely a bit stunned there are people who thinks the entire thing is worthless or a failure, because man, I have seen what a bad anime adaptation looks like, and Fruits Basket 2019 definitely isn’t one. Natsuki Takaya herself was clearly very invested and satisfied in that adaptation — I mean, just the fact she drew arts for every single episodes or for the season 3 ending really shows that I think. And while there’s a part of me who will always have a soft spot for the 2001 anime, there’s no contest that the 2019 one is the superior one and more representative of the original manga as a whole.

I believe some people really don’t realize how... uncommon it is to get such a consistently good-looking and complete anime adaptation for a shojo manga? Shojo really aren’t lucky in that prospect usually; they rarely get animated, and when they do they’re usually very bland or outright bad, or they get one short season of like 13 episodes that never receive any follow-ups — even shojo considered like classics tend to get poor treatment, unless they’re Sailor Moon of course or a long-running magical girls franchise like Precure (and even then we could have a discussion about the way Sailor Moon’s treated compared to say Dragon Ball for example, but that’s another topic entirely). So yeah it is quite awesome we were able to get this kind of anime adaptation that covers the full manga with good quality from start to finish, and I am so, so glad it exists and that it managed to revive and makes the series so popular again. (Hopefully its success means we’ll be able to get more good anime adaptation of shojo manga from now on!)

But yeah, that doesn’t mean there wasn’t problems with it and I also understand why some of the manga fans had issues. We were kind of hyped with the fact this would be a complete adaptation and in the end we only got a... sort-of-complete one lol. The art and animation stayed fine during the run (there certainly were some episodes that were uhhh, lacking in that sense, but that’s just how it is sometimes with productions and budget), but I admit I was a bit letdown regarding the direction, where it often seemed… a bit uncreative or heavy-handed. There was some very beautiful and smart shots here and there, but on the whole I really had an issue with the adaptation failing to actually take more ambitious decisions on its visual aspect, especially compared to the pretty pannelling of the manga — and when it did take these decisions it just was… kind of obnoxious and in-your-face, like the show is trying to hold the watcher’s hand (with unnecessary things like Kyo’s father record player derailing or the whole big ropes symbolizing the curse that often slapped you all over the screen, which usually just made me want to roll my eyes because of how annoying it felt.) Multiple people also pointed out the overdramatization of some scenes like the Kyo and Tohru’s confrontation at the end of season 1 or Akito and Ren’s fight which was, indeed, not very good and a weird choice. Fruits Basket is already a pretty dramatic show and these scenes are already intense, there was no need for such over-the-top theatrical display of emotions that only made them comes off as comedic. I’m probably nitpicking here but it also bothered me some characters’ expressions didn’t feel properly retranscribed (Shigure especially, whose characterization depends a lot on that, really suffered from this), or that odd habit of making some big panorama plans instead of focusing on the faces and bodies, which particularly sucks during emotional scenes (like the backgrounds were pretty I guess, but that’s not what was important here lmao).

Also that might be just a personal thing, but can I point out that the openings were pretty disappointing to me... They're not bad, but they all looked so... bland. The songs are fine but the rest feel so uninspired and it's kind of sad... I dunno, I wasn't asking for much but I just think they could've done more than just scrolling each character looking vaguely melancholic or making them walk randomly one after another :/ The endings have at least pretty illustrations and I'm okay with them (I liked what they did with Kyoko’s photo in season 3 too), but the OPs kind of feel as if they ran out of budget and ideas for them or something. I kind of feel the same with the OST as well, where they’re generally fine but were a bit lackluster, and sometimes… they were kind of played at bad times? I remember the Rin episode in season 2 were the music felt a bit out of place and took me out of the immersion, which is a shame cause it was otherwise a pretty good episode. But that might just be a me-thing here lol. The voice actors were awesome though! (The Japanese ones, at least, I didn’t watch any other dubs). I’ve said it before but special kudos to Maaya Sakamoto cause damn she’s so perfect as Akito, and Shimazaki as Yuki and Toyosaki as Rin truly delivered too. I didn’t know Manaka Iwami at all but I was really impressed by her Tohru, especially in season 3 — she really was good at capturing her character’s subtle emotional turmoils (I think she makes a better Tohru than Yui Horie too, although I admit I missed Horie a little lol.)

Anyway, on the topic of lack of ambition, that might be an unpopular opinion but there’s also the fact that I’m sad they didn’t actually... try to change or add more original scenes. By which I mean, obviously we had some changes, but not ones that were really interesting (when they’re not actively detrimental to the story). For example, I was really hoping that we’d be able to get at least one original episode focused on Ritsu (and Mitsuru too why not) in season 2 or 3, or on Kagura or Kisa; I dunno, it would’ve been a good occasion to give something more to the characters that got sidelined in the original manga, or add some moments that would’ve been nice to develop like about Akito post-cliff confrontation, but we never got that. And well, that makes sense now that we know they seemingly had an episode restriction (at least on season 3), but, yeah, that’s still a shame. Honestly in the end Ritsu’s character made even less sense in the anime, because like, it was nice they tried to adapt his introduction episode so that it feels less “you have to adapt to gender norms to feel better about yourself,” (the gender non-confirmity is definitely one of the bits that aged the less well in FB) but then they still made him cut off his hair and give his feminine clothes to Kagura at the end so why lol. (And speaking of his episode introduction, I dislike that they cut off his conversation with Tohru after the suicide attempt, not only for Ritsu but also for Tohru cause it is one of the small instances bringing up her issues that is set up early on and that is crucial to her, but I’ll come back to this later.)

And now about the biggest problem to me being, the cut content and episodes rearangement. So, just so we’re clear, I definitely don’t think an anime adaptation needs to be a page-by-page adaptation of the manga to be good. Every decent adaptation needs to have changes, and the ones that tries to just follow the source material without any heart often tend to get pretty bad. So changes are good! Cut content are needed sometimes. But in Furuba 19, it really... wasn’t the case.

And the most unfortunate thing being that the one suffering the most from this is the show’s main character herself, Tohru.

So, obviously other characters also got done dirty by this; Yuki and Machi’s relationship was so incredibly shifted in the background and rushed it’s almost funny. I’m one of the people who thinks that, while I do think they’re cute, I definitely agree on the fact their relationship was a bit underdeveloped in the manga — and that Machi’s character especially suffered as a result by being a bit reduced to just "Yuki’s love interest" when she was a character with so much more to offer (and as a whole I also tend to agree with the fact that Yuki probably didn’t need a romance at all and that his arc is more meaningful while focusing on his platonic relationships, but that’s another topic entirely) — but man, if the manga already underdevelopped them, then ohhh boy, the anime just completely dropped the ball. It feels very odd because to me it seemed like season 2 was taking their time with setting them up, so if they knew they had only 13 episodes for season 3 then they should’ve started the changes there; instead we got 1 nice Yuki/Machi/Kakeru episode, and then it’s like "Yep, they’re in love, just trust me." (It does makes me wonder if season 3 wasn’t originally supposed to be longer but then got restrained because of budget or covid or something…) Kakeru also very much suffered because of them cutting off his girlfriend and his complicated relationship with Tohru… Now, to be honest, I’ve always found the Kakeru/Komaki/Tohru subplot pretty... contrived and useless, and Komaki’s not so much a character more than a device for Kakeru’s development, but it does have some good moments relevant to the story’s themes (I like the ‘‘you can’t play suffering olympics with people’s pain’’morale) and it is important to his character (and Komaki is cute, I admit), so it was still sad they shafted it entirely. (Also I kind of like the tense relationship between Tohru and Kakeru. The fact they both seem to not appreciate each other even afterwards feel sort of refreshing even if it’s never explored unfortunately orz.) I was still surprised they didn’t actually try to make a Komaki cameo at the end? Cause I think it would’ve fitted and Kakeru’s girlfriend had already been mentioned in season 2 but... for some reason they... didn’t. (Mayyybe we’ll get an OAV like with Kyoko and Katsuya? Who knows.)

One scene that was skipped/rearranged that I’m very bitter over is the whole Tohru/Kagura confrontation and Kagura/Rin scene — it might not seem like much, but the moment of Tohru refusing to forgive Kagura is very important, and I was pretty annoyed they turned Rin’s trauma response to Kagura’s violence and her subsequent apology/hug to a gag, it legit felt tasteless. The Tohrin scene they removed at the very end too was frustating; it was great they managed to fit in the "Rin doesn’t want to forgive Akito" bit at least (I was afraid they’d cut it off entirely), but it was so essential for her to say to Tohru, not to Haru and Momiji (plus the way they put it in felt very random and awkwardly placed there, when they were initially talking about Tohru before orz). OH AND the Akito/Hana friendship too! Yeah I know it’s not a Big deal but I absolutely love the little glimpses of their friendship and it’s very important to me so I’m disappointed over them not including the ‘Ah-chan’ scene… (It was kind of weird that the show sort-of implied Hana and Kazuma got together too cause that’s… not the vibe at all from the manga… oh well.)

Most people I’ve seen generally only bring up season 3 regarding the cuts/rearangement because it’s the most obvious and the biggest offender, but I personally think there were already problems with season 2 and 1. At first glance I didn’t have much issue with some of the rearrangement, because early Furuba can indeed be pretty episodic, but thinking back on it as a whole I think it might’ve been better to leave some stuff, like Hana and Uo’s episodes for example, to season 2 (I do wonder if they did this specifically so the reboot would offer original content and differ from 2001 early on...) and cut off other not-so-important things from S1 & S2 — because as a result season 2 kind of suffer a bit by being The Yuki Season, which, for as much as I love Yuki, did end up being a bit annoying and made his development feel less natural and gradual, as well as the fact it sidelined the other characters a little and left them with not much conclusion in its final. So this added to how much they ended up cutting in season 3, it makes the show as a whole feels really unequal. I think they did overall a good job in season 3 with what they had, and they really nailed some of the dramatic and Kyoru moments (the sheets scene, cliff confrontation and post-hospital confession were practically perfect), but it is a shame that it ended up as an extremely marathoned emotional roller-caster rather than a more well-paced watch that we would’ve had if it had been 20 or so episodes. (I know others argued that season 3 was what it was because there wasn’t enough content left to cover for 22 or 24 episodes, but I disagree and even if there weren’t, it would’ve been the perfect occasion to add original episodes then. But I think it was more of a budget and Covid issue personally.)

But anyway, all of this isn’t actually what I’m the most annoyed with (and YES that’s a already a lot lmao), those are stuff I can live with, but like I said earlier the most problematic is what they cut off from Tohru’s character. And that indeed includes her parents’ backstory.

So, just so I get this out of the way; yes, I do understand why people were relieved to not see Kyoko and Katsuya’s relationship play out on screen, and yes the age gap and teacher-student thing is creepy and I do kind of wish it hadn’t been written that way. (Though I was a bit amused by people who thought we didn’t get the backstory because of the questionable age gap when, uh... you know I very much doubt the anime industry has an issue with that. Like, to start with, we wouldn’t have had Uo and Kureno’s romance if that was the case (even if Uo and Kureno is less problematic, it’s still the same basis of a underage high school girl/20+ adult man relationship), and second there was a literal romcom anime about a high school girl and an adult man that was broadcasted at the same time as Furuba season 3 lmao. So nah, it wasn’t there the problem to them, it was just time and episode restriction, which was pretty much confirmed with the announcement of the OAV focused on them.)

So, Kyoko and Katsuya is definitely Problematic and I agree on their relationship being uncomfortable; however, I’m a bit baffled that people were literally cheering on not having that part in the show, because it is... it is not just like a small bit of family trivia, it is Extremely important and actively essential to Tohru’s character and Fruits Basket’s themes and narrative as a whole. It’s very important to understand Kyoko’s character, of course; to humanize her and finally present her as a very flawed person and not just the idealized mother that Tohru project upon her, and it is extremely important simply to understand Tohru herself as well; to understand where her way of thinking, her trauma and attitude stems from, and this in a way that just isn’t possible to see with the little fragments of that flashback we got or the bits of Kyo and Kyoko’s interactions.

See, Tohru’s character is principally constructed around two things; her grief over her mother and her almost-pathological selflesness and people-pleaser needs that comes from her abandonment issues and loneliness, and her arc is very much about letting go of both of these things and finally moving forward and letting her life change. There’s this perception of Tohru I see sometimes that she’s not a very interesting character especially compared to others like Yuki or Kyo, or that she ‘‘stays the same kindhearted, naive girl from start to finish,’’ and while I deeply disagree with this I know where it comes from. The thing with Tohru is that she is firstly an extremely emotionally repressed character, and so a lot of her depth and development is made through small, gradual details scattered throughout the manga. It’s done in such a way that except for some obvious scenes those small, apparently insignificant moments are easy to miss or disregarded, and unfortunately it is a lot of these details that the 2019 anime cut, or rearanged in a way that feel less impactful or makes less sense; such as, like I pointed out earlier, her conversation with Ritsu after his suicide attempt. As I’ve seen others point out, this result in altering Tohru’s portrayal and rendering her character mostly about her romance, undercutting and downplaying all of her small, subtle character moments and developments, and miss a bit the second part of the story where the narrative actively challenge the ‘savior/therapist/mom’ that other characters and Tohru herself projected upon her.

And as a result it also means undermining things like her parallel and relationship to Akito, which idealistically should’ve been slowly built up throughout the last season but because of how rushed season 3 was in the end felt a little flat. (Akito’s character in general had some issues also because of the unequal pacing and rearranged scenes, though admittedly I think this was also an issue present in the original manga.) Kyo’s character and his romance with Tohru is the one element that managed to get out of this mostly unscathed (although Kyo also does suffer a bit from it), but because of what was removed from Tohru’s character it still inevitably impacted them by making their characters as individuals lacking. It’s not like it is a complete failure, mind you; I think the anime at least did a decent job at showing Tohru is Not Okay even at the beginning in season 1 (they certainly did a better job at it than the 2001 one lol) and managed to roughly portray her issues well enough overall, but it is just… lacking in the subtlety and nuances that, to me, makes her character and writing really special and unique.

(This post explains what I’ve tried to say here in a much more eloquent and better way that I ever could, and this all put into perspective what I basically love so much about Tohru and Fruits Basket in general.)

And, you know, it would’ve been sad but comprehensible with any other character, but here we’re talking about the story’s literal protagonist, which is why it is the part of the adaptation that makes me feel the most bitter. Tohru and her story is truly amazing and well-written, the thing I was looking forward to the most with this reboot — and while I do understand the episode restriction and I do believe they still did their best with what they had — her arc still deserved to receive a full proper adaptation, not a kind-of-half one.

So, yes, I am at least glad they’ll adapt Kyoko and Katsuya’s story in OAV, but the fact that it will never be included in the actual main narrative is still actively detrimental to it, and it will never have the same effect that if it had been played out before the Kyoru sheets scene where it should’ve been. (I hope they also won’t cut the fact that their story is narrated by Kyo, because that is also a very important detail for both Kyo and the story, but I have the feeling they will…)

Welp, that was quite a long, messy rambling. Not sure if anyone will actually read all of it but if you did then congrats lol. I feel in the end I’ve been really harsh and negative with the reboot… I do love it a lot! If someone asked me I would wholeheartedly recommend it (though I guess I would still argue to read the manga first if you really want to experience the story in all its nuances). I think they truly did an impressive job — even with season 3, which a lot of its episodes were beautifully done and did make me tear up a few times lol. I’m just sad it couldn’t actually offer a better, more nuanced delivery of the story’s depths and of one of my favorite manga protagonists that means a lot to me. But that’s an adaptation that so many fans wanted for years and I’m happy and grateful it’s here cause Fruits Basket deserved at least that much!

#Fruits Basket #Fruits Basket (2019)#Long Post #Connan's Ramblings #Text #Fruits Basket Anime

4 notes · View notes

getinthering · 5 years ago

Text

Taang Week Day 3: Spirit World

“i believe that i know you”

tw: major character death

@taangweek Day 3: Spirit World

In the swamp, we see visions of people we’ve lost, people we’ve loved, folks we think are gone. But the swamp tells us they’re not. We’re still connected to them. Time is an illusion and so is death.

After Aang’s death, Toph leaves Republic City and their family and friends to feel closer to him. Takes place in 153 AG, some time after Aang’s death.

Read on AO3

[A/N: I should say here and now that in pretty much every ATLA thing I create (except for Modern AU or unless otherwise stated) has Aang/Toph at 16, Katara at 18, Suki at 19, and Zuko/Sokka at 20, because writing for/as children just makes me uncomfortable idk.

This one was frustrating but fun! I’m a big fan of bittersweet writings so here we are. I liked Lin/Suyin’s canon dynamic too much to not hc both of them as Taang’s kids, canon Bumi is just very Dunebaby energy to begin with, and I kinda just recreated Tenzin as Tashi for my own reasons.]

She had always thought that Avatars were supposed to live exceptionally long lives. True, Kyoshi’s age was a great exception no one expected to ever be replicated again. That didn’t change the fact that Toph had always assumed she would have at least another decade with Aang.

She felt lost without him now. Neither had ever been the most present parent to their four children, despite their best hopes and efforts. He had his Avatar duties, she was Chief of Police. There was constant rivalry between the kids, which she supposed they both encouraged (perhaps her a little more consciously than Aang), and there was now a large chasm between her and their children. She knew that Bumi, their first-born, had always felt neglected and left out as the only non-bender in the family, whereas Tashi, their youngest, was the only airbender and thus was taken under Aang’s wing.

Toph’s hands were most often full with their two middle daughters, Lin and Suyin. They were both earthbenders, both two sides of the same coin, and she supposed that—combined with her stubborn Beifong blood—was the reason they had the deepest feud within the family. She tried to give them the freedom she longed for as a child, but it only ended with her eldest daughter all but refusing to talk to her, and Toph and Aang having to send Suyin away to live with her parents.

It had been too much for her then, almost ten years ago. She passed the title of chief of police onto Lin and decided it was time to finally spend some time with her husband. They traveled for a while, mostly to the Air Temples to check in on his Acolytes or the Earth Kingdom where her family was. She was proud of her husband for finally achieving all he had wanted, grateful that he had an airbending child to pass it onto. But she was never one to simply tag along on someone else’s adventures, not even for him. They struggled to find balance while roaming the world endlessly, just as they had as children.

By the time they neared their mid-sixties, they had finally settled into a routine they thought they could live with throughout their retirement. They had a home on Air Temple Island near Republic City. The kids all had their own lives, their own stability. Their attention was no longer divided between young children, their careers, their city, their homelands. It was just theirs for the rest of their lives.

She never expected “the rest of their lives” to be a mere two years.

***

“Mom, that’s ridiculous, you can’t just leave. You just settled into your retirement!” Bumi insisted over the dinner table where the three of them sat.

Toph sighed jaggedly. Of course it had been a bad idea to tell them she was leaving. “No, your father and I settled into our retirement,” she snapped. “You think I want to just sit around every day by myself? No! I’ve spent my whole life on the road and that’s where I belong.”

(maybe that’s a lie maybe she had been excited about settling down maybe she hated traveling at this point)

“Mom,” Tashi interjected, trying her best to remain calmer than her brother. “If you’re lonely, you know that Jinpa and I would be more than willing to move back home to Air Temple Island.”

“I’m not lonely,” Toph protested, slamming a fist on the table perhaps too roughly. “I didn’t have to tell you, and I wasn’t going too, but I didn’t think you’d all be silly enough to try and fight me.”

“Thanks for that, Mom,” Bumi grumbled.

She spent the next hour fighting off her children’s arguments. Her mind was made up a long time ago and although she would never admit it out loud, she missed Aang too much to stay anywhere near the city they had helped create. Every corner burned with memories of him. Their home echoed with emptiness. There had even been nights she had bolted up, drenched in sweat, grasping the sheets begging to find him. She could swear that she could hear him whispering to her, just quiet enough that she couldn’t make out the words.

The only memory of him she could stand to be around now was their children. She wished desperately to have them all together, for them to be some semblance of a real family in the wake of his death. But they were scattered—Lin in Republic City, Suyin in Zaofu, Tashi split amongst the Air Temples, Bumi traveling constantly with the United Forces. No matter how hard she tried, there would never be a way to be connected to all of them at once. Not here, like this, anyway.

Eventually, Tashi and Bumi accepted that there was nothing either of them could say to keep Toph in Republic City and dejectedly said their goodbyes to her before parting ways. She kept up the stony-faced façade she had always known best while she finished packing her things, making note for most of them to be sent to her children. She wouldn’t need them anymore.

She had told the two of them that she was simply returning to the nomadic life she and Aang had shared after her retirement from the police force. It would be true, for a while; she had plans to visit the Earth Kingdom again, stop in Zaofu to see her grandchildren and tell Suyin of her new search for enlightenment, maybe even see her old friends one more time.

She wouldn’t tell any of them that she was really going to the Foggy Swamp. They would only try harder to talk her out of it, tell her the swamp was dangerous for an old woman, that she was being ridiculous and irrational. Really, she had never felt more sure of anything in her life. Her heart belonged with her family and with Aang gone, it felt shattered. She was desperate to put it back together before it broke her. She knew of only one place that could make her feel connected to all of her children and Aang at once.

***

In her mind, Toph had a clear image of what she remembered from the swamp. She had visualized her new life there over and over. Stepping into it now, she was blindsided by a chilling feeling she could not quite place, like a wind threatening to barrel her over.

The one possibility she hadn’t allowed herself to dream now coursed through her mind as she ventured deeper into the heart of the swamp.

(what if he’s not here what in the name of the spirits would she do with herself)

It was not as if she could go back to her old life. She would have nothing left to keep her afloat, no hope of ever seeing Aang in this life again.

(maybe she shouldn’t have left maybe the hope was what kept her going)

Eventually she reached the banyan-grove tree at the heart of the swamp. Discouragement sinking in her stomach like a rock, she leaned her back against the tree and slid to the ground. Toph Beifong had only cried a handful of times since her young childhood. The only person in the entire world who had ever seen her so vulnerable had, of course, been Aang. Somehow, even from the start, he always knew when she needed him.

(which was fortunate because she would never tell him that)

He would come find her, no matter where she was, wrap his arms around and silently hold her close to his chest until the steady beat of his heart and the warmth he radiated soothed her. She hadn’t even cried when he died, not properly.

Now, alone in this ancient swamp, Toph let go of her strength and let herself break. Sobs wracked her frame. She could picture how ridiculous she must have looked: a blind, middle-aged earthbender, sitting on a mucky floor, screaming with grief like she never had before.

She had abandoned her children, her city, her entire life to venture into the Foggy Swamp. It was supposed to be a Spirit Wild, supposed to be the connection between the two worlds. But it was foolish of her to believe she would find her husband here; he was the Avatar, his spirit was reborn into a new body, surely there was no reason to find any Avatar in the Spirit World..

As she let her anguish consume her, slowly icing her to her core, she imagined that this was it for her, the end of her line.

A flash of warmth spread throughout her right side, a faint but familiar scent wafting around her. At once, her tears stopped and she jumped, alarmed. Every muscle in her body tensed as the sensation gradually transformed into reassuring arms around her shoulders. Everything clicked in her mind as she heard the voice she dreamt of every night, simply murmuring,

“Toph.”

“Aang? Aang, tell me it’s you, tell me this isn’t some dark spirit playing a dirty trick,” she gasped, unwilling to trust her senses.

“It’s me. I’ve been waiting for you.”

At that moment, she was sixteen once more, sitting side-by-side with a young monk, and she knew that she was home.

#props if you place any of the song lyrics that make up these fic titles #ok i'll spoil it this one is fleetwood mac #taang #taang week #taang week 2020 #atla #my fics #fuck it its midnight yall take this

28 notes · View notes

marueonmain · 5 years ago

Text

WINDFLOWER

part two ~ a residual humming ~

(part one) (part two)

A/N: I wanted to write this second part and get it out as soon as possible. I hope you like it! I have messages/asks open for comments or questions. Be safe!

Summary: George bullies Alex about him mooning over Y/N. Sammy is a bit abrasive, but he gets along with the lads.

Pairing: imallexx x reader

Warning: Some Language. More of My Writing.

Word Count: 2.2k

Upon entering his apartment, Alex was met with the smell of burning. He turned into the kitchen to see George's back as he stood over the hob with a grim-looking cheese toastie set in a pan.

George did not move when Alex walked in, nor did he indicate he was aware Alex was watching him. His eyes were glued on the sandwich as he poked at it with a wooden spoon, nudging it to be better. But it was too far gone to turn out any better than just edible.

At Alex clearing his throat, George asked, "Where've you been?"

"I grabbed some lunch at Five Guys." He pulled at the collar of his shirt, fanning himself. Taking a bar seat, he continued, "I would've offered to bring something back for you if I'd thought about it."

"Don't worry; no one expects you to think, Alex." George flipped the hob off and turned around to grab a plate set out on the counter. He used the wooden spoon to scrape the toastie from the pan as the burnt cheese clung on.

Neither spoke as George performed this careful and intricate extraction.

Though it was just so entertaining to watch his flatmate work around his terrible cooking skills, Alex found his thoughts wandering off. It was subconscious thinking. Or can thinking be subconscious versus conscious? Alex was not sure. All he knew was he was not thinking about what to think. Nor were his thoughts connecting along with one another. It was random.

Sparks of this feeling and that. Questions neither answered nor fully asked before another came along. Mostly, it was him reviewing everything he said earlier to Sammy and Y/N.

“Why go by Red?” Why did I ask that? Stupid.

While a small voice shouted, it worked out! There was too much of a ruckus elsewhere in his mind to give that small voice a chance.

Plate in hand, George started in the direction of his bedroom perhaps in hopes he could eat in peace while hunched over his keyboard like a gremlin.

"You know quiche?" Alex piped up.

"It's like egg-casserole, innit?"

"Right. It's a breakfast food, wouldn't you think?"

"Eggs normally are, yes." George stopped, and it was there in his eyes, the realization that he would not be escaping a conversation. He turned to take a bar seat and began eating in small quick bites. Like a mouse.

"I invited someone round to watch football with us later."

"Who? You don't have friends besides Will and them lot."

"I met him this afternoon. His name's Sam, but he goes by Sammy."

"How did you manage to shut up long enough to catch his name?" George coughed on his food – tasting the evident lack of love cooked into it. "And why does he sound like a golden retriever?"

"He is blond like a retriever. He and Y/N are moving-in right above us."

"Is this Y/N coming too?" George waggled his eyebrow.

The knowledge that George had a girlfriend and more so the identity of said girlfriend was on a need to know basis. As were most aspects of George's life: surname, physical appearance, etc. He knew just as well as anyone that Alex was alone – not a sad kind of alone but a neutral kind.

A girlfriend (or boyfriend) could be fantastic for views. But he did not need one. He was a functioning adult. Independent financially and physically. With an exceptional support system of friends. Alex was full and complete by himself.

And he believed that because it was true.

However, it did not stop him from yearning. It did not stop him from feeling like he might sleep better if he had someone's chest to cuddle; it did not stop him from imagining it was someone else's fingers running through his hair in moments of grief.

"Y/N is Sammy's girlfriend, and she wasn't into me—it rather. She wasn't into it."

"It's his girlfriend, mate. Of course, she isn't into you."

"Not like that. Y/N didn't even look at me, like me being there was making her ill."

"What did you expect? To go-" George, in his mocking, pitched his voice higher, "Hello, I'm internet sensation imallexx, and she falls to her knees to start sucking you off?"

Alex made a face, letting his features relax into a deadpan expression.

George continued unbothered, "Why do you care if the girlfriend likes you?"

"It wasn't dislike; it was discomfort. I'm not someone who makes people uncomfortable, am I? That doesn't make sense, not with all those imallexx is baby edits and uwu soft boi collages."

"Uwu soft boi?"

"Piss off. You know what I mean."

Giggling to himself, George finished eating and stood up. He took his plate, dropping it into the sink, he caught Alex's expression – still somber.

Seriousness was not something either flatmate expressed on the regular, or if it was, it would not be for long. There might be some argument to be made there. That neither man felt comfortable in serious situations because their insecurities about being shorter than average (or about having generous natures) made it difficult for them to see themselves as worth being taken seriously.

Or maybe that argument would be off base and a load of shit—who knows.

"Everyone I've seen you meet in person liked you – just got one of those likable faces, I guess. Plus, you're entertaining and that. I've never known you to make people uncomfortable." George paused. "You'd have to be a real dick to go after another bloke's girl. But I'm sure she'd like talking to you again...if that's what you wanted."

"I don't know what I want to happen, George."

"Well, figure it out. And if Sam does opt into a few rounds of FIFA, I'm not letting him beat me."

"It's Sammy."

"Ok." George walked in the direction of his bedroom. "Sammy. Sammy. I can remember that."

~LATER~

It was adrenaline-fueled cheers, heated debates over pizza toppings, clever and scathing remarks, all in addition to an absurd amount of drinking. And the aftermath was a residual humming of endorphins.

Newcastle lost: no surprise there.

Electronic noises sounded from the television at full volume but, having to travel through the thick wave of inebriation and exhaustion in the room, it all registered as dull pings. Will and George were the two holding controllers and involved in the head-to-head battle unfolding on-screen.

Sitting next to one another on the sofa highlighted the stark differences in their composure and dedication. George sat leaning forward enough to be considered doubled over with an iron grip on his controller. Will leaned back with one hand on the controller and the other taking the occasional swig from the beer he otherwise held between his legs.

Throwing back drink after drink, Sammy occupied the third sofa cushion. He admitted earlier in the night that he never played FIFA before; he watched the television with interest and set focus. Blush and all, he looked alert and strong even after winning the shot contest between himself and James.

James – on the other hand – was flat on his back on the floor in front of the coffee table with his eyes closed. He had not spoken up in a while, but Alex was sure he was still awake – like 60% sure.

"—in the frame for half a second. If that!" Alex struggled to control the volume of his voice as he spoke with excitement, "And not twelve hours later, I see a screenshot of them on a fetish instagram account."

"What the fuck?" Sammy laughed through the question.

"That's what I said!"

Will, confident he could win against George without paying much attention, spoke up, "I tried to go legit with selling feet pics once for a video."

Sammy's jaw dropped. "You're joking."

"Swear on my life." Will crossed his heart with his hand.

"It was with socks on." Alex stood up from the armchair and stumbled to the kitchen to pour himself another shot. Deciding on a clear liquor, he poured and downed it before finishing his thought, "Having socks on—that's not the same. Not at all."

"Nice dress-socks! I had production value, I did. Unlike you with those hobbit feet."

Alex held himself steady against the kitchen counter. With ears lit up red like traffic lights, he stared into the air with a blank expression for half a minute before shaking his head as if coming up from some dark, treacherous waters. Gaining some composure, he shuffled back to the armchair and collapsed onto it. He said his peace on the issue, "Don't be an ass."

"The only fun way to be," Will muttered as he knocked back a bit of his beer.

Despite watching Alex cross the room with particular concern, Sammy reentered the conversation in a casual tone and manner. "Wait. Your feet are just out there in the open for weird foot fetish guys to jack off to?"

"Guys jack off to Alex all the time," said George. He did not remove his eyes from the television as the electronic sounds coming from the game took a discordant turn. "He's an LGBT icon."

Alex gritted his teeth at the comment. "Stop."

"Oh?" From the sofa, Sammy raised his head, shifting his posture and pulling himself up into a proper seated position. "You're gay?"

George started, "Well, he's b—"

"Yes." Alex cut him off. Sometimes it was easier to just be “gay” than to get specific with someone who might not understand or even accept further explanation.

It went quiet, save the electronic noises of George getting his ass kicked at FIFA. George, too focused on losing and being offended from getting cut-off, and James having been down for the count for the last hour, were unaware of the turn the conversation had taken and were spared from the rising uneasiness.

Will and Alex were in the thick of it. Alex shot worried glances in Will's direction. Will set his jaw and nodded with reassurance back to Alex.

Sammy breathed out an, "Oh."

"Is that an issue?" Alex asked.

"God, no. It's a relief!" Sammy slouched into the back of the sofa. "Don't have to be worried about you trying to chat up Red."

Will looked agitated (maybe at the choice of words or the hesitation). His forehead scrunched-up, and his posture tensed with rigid shoulders and arms. He asked with a forced ‘normal-sounding’ tone, "Who's Red?"

"My girlfriend – she's a fucking bitch, but like my bitch, you know?"

Alex was not sure which part of the whole thing he was most uncomfortable with...until he decided. It was the bitch comment.

It was the bitch comment by far.

No one in that room – as far as he knew – had ever straight-out name called their girlfriend like that. Not George about [REDACTED]. Not Will about Mia. Not James about Aria. And certainly not Alex about his past partners.

To be fair there were a handful of times, he or his friends had considered how their partner was acting as being bitchy. Still at the heart of all their relationships was a respect for the other person and the courtesy to not leave for the evening (to watch football or whatever) without at least attempting to work things out – smooth things over even the tiniest amount.

"I thought her name was Y/N," said George.

Sammy hurled an expression that asked how would you know and all but dared George to ask him another question. "It is. But when we met, I called her Red, and now she goes by Red."

"Why?"

Sammy ignored that George had spoken at all. Luckily, it was just a few awkward seconds between Sammy clamming up and someone else speaking.

"Mac 'n cheese! Fuck!" James shouted as his eyes shot open, and he sat up from the floor. "Doesn't mac 'n cheese sound good right now?" He turned his attention to Alex and snapped finger guns at him. "You have any mac 'n cheese?"

"No, James," Alex growled; he rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes with too much pressure.

Sammy interjected with cheerfulness in his voice, "I like mac 'n cheese with some marshmallow fluff."

"Fuck yes!" James whipped around to face Sammy (whom he probably did not recognize at that moment nor remember meeting just hours before) and somehow got louder. "We gotta get some!"

"Let's go." Sammy did not move to stand.

"You're so chill," mumbled James. As unexpected as it was for him to pop-up, James hit the ground again, closing his eyes. He was out.

"Anyone willing to be talked at by Alex for an entire evening has got to be," remarked George with a humorless laugh.

"Reel it back a bit," Will warned before Alex might have come back with something worse.

"Yeah," Sammy teased, "how much you down now, George? £200 last I checked."

"Will's cheating."

Will took a swig from his beer. "Mate, I'm too pissed to be cheating."

"Whatever."

"Check it." Will shifted in his seat as on-screen, he scored the final goal of the game. Triumphant electronic noises blasted from the television as he raised his long arms up in the air, pumping his fist once. twice. three times.

He got up to high-five Alex and Sammy, who wore over-excited smiles across their flushed faces. And just like that, the evening was over.

#imallexx #imallexx imagine #imallexx x reader #alex elmslie #alex elmslie x reader #alex elmslie imagine #eboys #willne #memeulous #commentary crew #james marriott #internet sensation

76 notes · View notes