#and she lived here until she was in her early twenties. i can't imagine being logan and moving at ~12 for most of your life

[sargewood]

y'all clown on logan for being overly "american" and constantly wanting a good burger, etc. but my best friend who's lived in england now for 8 almost 9 years, there's rarely a week that goes by where she doesn't bring up something that she misses from america

[soulgazingwithbucky]

why bucky has a blowout

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader

Summary: bucky would never take advice from valentina or any of the thunderbolts, let alone hair advice. but the love of his life? a different story

Warnings: fluffy ig?

Word count: 750

A/N: i never thought i would miss the unbearable itch to write, and yet!!! so happy i was able to make something, so i hope ya enjoy! If you find yourself enjoying this, feel free to check out my other works here <3

"Stay still, Buck," you murmur softly.

Bucky stifles a huff. He could stay still for hours--if he wasn't in front of the bathroom mirror, forced to stare at his reflection. Behind him, you cup a strand of his hair in your hand.

You release the strand, pleased at the slight curl that has formed.

"I'm not doin' anymore of these things, doll," Bucky says. "M'telling Valentina she can put Walker up there from now on."

"You tell her, love," you encourage, though you're a bit distracted wrapping the next strand of hair around the thermal brush. You've never met your husband's "boss," but you've heard enough to get a sense of her character. You doubted Bucky was going to be able to get himself out of press conferences.

"After this hairstyle, though? You'll be first in line for any media coverage," you tease.

This time, Bucky can't hold back a grumble at the thought. You giggle, but it's quickly stifled by a yawn. Bucky softens at the sight of your sleepiness.

"Thank you, sweetheart," he says sheepishly.

Valentina is a blur as she rushes past Bucky. But she pauses abruptly, taking a few steps back until she's planted in front of him. Bucky does his best to ignore her, staring straight ahead, but he eventually puts down his sandwich and slowly meets her eyes.

"This won't do," Valentina says, gesturing at his head. Bucky doesn't care much about what "won't do," but he has a meeting with Agent Taylor in twenty minutes. He very much likes the idea of enjoying his sandwich on the couch, sans the Contessa.

"What, Valentina?" Bucky says slowly.

"This hair," she responds, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I have been telling him that!" Alexei declares. Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose as the Red Guardian emerges from the kitchen. "I told him, my sponsorship with Drybar is at risk if--"

"Oh, Drybar? That's pretty good. Listen, Bucky, if there's one thing I know, it's hair. Wish you could ask that guy, am I right?" Valentina gestures in Bob's general direction in the next room.

"No," Bucky responds.

"I tell him, so flat," Alexei continues, "so lifeless! Bucky, hair care is so important--"

"Great talk, everybody," Bucky declares, scooping up his sandwich and taking it into the other room.

When Bucky recalled the conversation to you, he thought you'd laugh it off with him. Instead, he saw a glint in your eye that made him worried. Afterwards, he came home one too many times to you binge watching hair tutorials. Foolishly, he held out hope that you would lose interest, but then packages of hair tools started arriving at your door.

"You know," you said, holding back another yawn, "if we lived closer to the Tower, we wouldn't have to wake up so early."

"Not yet, doll," is Bucky's gruff response. Living far away meant that it would be harder for people to link you two. It wasn't that he would get relentlessly teased by his coworkers about being married--that was a given. But if they were on a mission, and one of them became compromised? He couldn't imagine what would happen if the wrong people found out about his life. About you. He already had to live with the fact that Sam helped you both find this house, and now--

"He's our friend, Buck." You recognize the distraught look on your husband's face, and you place a gentle hand on his shoulder, breaking him out of his spell. "He would never do anything to hurt us."

Bucky moves to place a kiss on your hand, grateful that he doesn't always have to talk for you to understand him. He opens his mouth to express his appreciation, but you interrupt him.

"All done," you say proudly. The wide grin on your face is almost enough to make Bucky forget that he is going to be sitting in a room full of journalists in a few hours. You comb your fingers through his hair to loosen the curls, then apply hairspray. Bucky makes a show of sputtering. He never makes a show of anything, but he loves the way you giggle at his antics.

He turns to face you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You wrap your hands around his neck, trying your best to avoid your hard work.

"My wife," he says, a phrase he will never get tired of saying. He plants a kiss on your lips before you respond:

"My hero."

[the-offside-rule]

Anthony Gordon (Newcastle United) - Uh-Oh...

Requested: yes

Prompt: 9) Baby clothes shopping

Warnings: none tbh

Baby Promptlist

Anthony had never imagined himself walking through the baby section on a quiet Thursday afternoon, yet here he was. His fingers grazed over tiny onesies, pastel blues and soft greys. Next to him, his girlfriend, Y/n smiled as she inspected a miniature pair of socks. "You know, I never thought baby clothes would be this cute." Anthony said with a small chuckle, trying to ignore the odd flutter of nerves in his stomach. His life had changed so much in the last year, from signing with Newcastle to preparing to become a father.

Y/n grinned up at him, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I told you! Look at these little hats." She held up a tiny beanie that couldn’t have been larger than his palm. "I can't wait to see our baby in this." He smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I say we get him a jersey first." He said lowly as to not attract any unwanted attention. "Him? We don't even know the gender yet and you're assuming it's a boy?"

"Well you know what they say; the girl takes the beauty, the boy doesn't and if I may, you're still looking as gorgeous as ever." Y/n slapped his arm gently and returned to looking at the shelves. Despite the serenity of the moment, there was a knot of unease twisting in his chest. While everything about this journey with Y/n felt right, there was one thing looming over them; his fans didn't know. They had yet to announce Y/n’s pregnancy to the world, keeping their lives private until they were ready. And yet, that privacy was fragile, especially in public spaces like this. They moved on to another rack of clothes, Y/n holding up an adorable little set with giraffes, and Anthony lost himself in her excitement for a moment. But then it happened.

"Anthony Gordon?"

The voice came from behind them. Anthony stiffened, his heart rate kicking up a notch. Slowly, he turned around to see a young fan, probably in her early twenties, standing a few feet away with wide eyes and a shocked expression. "Heya." He said, trying to keep his voice casual, though he could feel the pressure mounting in his chest. "Oh my God, it’s really you!" She gasped, looking between him and Y/n. "I didn’t expect to see you here, like, ever." Her gaze flickered down to the baby clothes in Y/n’s hands and then back up to Anthony with an even more curious expression. "Yeah, just doing a bit of shopping." Anthony replied, his mouth suddenly dry. His mind raced. They weren’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready for this. The fan hesitated for a moment, clearly trying to piece things together. "Oh. Shopping for a gift?" She offered an awkward smile, probably thinking it was the best way to explain why they were in the baby section.

Anthony's heart pounded. He could feel his face warming up, panic settling in. He was used to being in the spotlight on the pitch, but this? This was different. This was his personal life, something precious and private. "Yeah, my friend has a baby shower coming up. Thought we'dget her something nice." Y/n interjected smoothly, her voice calm and collected. She shot him a supportive glance before turning back to the fan with a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you." The girl blinked, still processing the situation. "Oh, right! Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you both. Can I just, um, get a picture real quick?"

Anthony nodded, though his mind was still whirling. "Course you can." He replied energetically, forcing a smile. He posed for a quick photo, but his thoughts were elsewhere. Would this fan say something online? Would rumors start swirling before they were ready to announce? Once the fan had snapped her picture and waved them off, Anthony sighed in relief. But the unease didn’t leave him. Y/n must have sensed his tension because she laced her fingers through his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Hey." She said softly, pulling him out of his spiraling thoughts. "Shes not going to say anything."

"Maybe." Anthony said, though his voice sounded more unsure than he intended. "I just, I wasn’t expecting that. What if she does say something? What if people start asking questions?" Y/n stopped walking, turning to face him fully. Her hands came up to cup his face, grounding him in the moment. "Then they'llask questions and we'llleave it at that. Its none of their business." He looked into her eyes, the anxiety slowly melting away as he focused on the warmth and strength in her gaze. Y/n had always had this calming effect on him. She was his anchor in the chaos of his career, and now, she would be his partner in this new chapter of their lives.

"Yeah, you're right." He admitted, leaning into her touch. "I just want this to be separate from football for now." He smiled as he pushed the trolley along. "It will be." She assured him, hooking her arm with his. Anthony smiled softly as she rested her head onto his side. "I love you, you know that?" Y/n grinned. "I do. And I love you, too."

With a deep breath, Anthony pushed the anxiety to the back of his mind. He wasn’t going to let fear ruin this moment with Y/n. They had a baby on the way, and that was the most important thing. The world could wait. "Now-" Y/n said with a teasing smile. "Help me pick out some more baby clothes, for the little fella. We’ve got a whole wardrobe to build." Anthony chuckled, the tension lifting. "Hasn't even been born yet and you're assuming it's a boy?" He replied in a mocking tone.

[teriwrites]

Boy of My Imagination: Chp. 6-7

My Live Reactions to Reading Through My 2015 Novel

Open into a little flashback to the club that Penny mentioned in her journal entry. She's overwhelmed

Okay, tbf, Penny, you're the one who, unprompted, gave Chrys the name and address of this place.

But also, Chrys is an adult who should know better than to bring her friend who's still very much in early recovery to a CLUB

At least she figured it out eventually. Yk, in the club. Well past Penny's curfew. Probably having had too much to drink to drive them home.

Seriously, what a clusterfuck

Like Penny, you're not even allowed to drink with your medication, what are you even doing? Just hanging out??

I understand wanting to find a bathroom to clean yourselves up, but why can't you use the one in the club? Why are you wandering the streets looking for a convenience store??

Okay ig Chrys didn't get hammered, she's just tipsy, but still. Definitely shouldn't be driving.

'While I was familiar with the city of Honolulu, I wasn't sure that I trusted it in the dead of night.' i'm gonna take a guess and say it's 11:30pm right now

'There seemed to be no missed calls or new text messages, which worried me almost as much as if my mother had called twenty times.' real

'My mother was like a storm; it was best to prepare for the worst.' holy shit dude that is not a normal thing to say about your mom

Also shout-out to my mom, who's genuinely really cool and chill

Of course they pass by some kind of altercation going down in an alleyway

(2015 Teri, 'goon' still has a different meaning in 2025. Also no self-respecting gang member would describe a rival as a 'goon', they're not like the 1920s mafia)

Of course the 'thugs' (don't love that word here) spotted them, and they took off sprinting and managed to get themselves lost in the city

Oh shiiiiiiiiit Penny doesn't have her phone on her, they've been using Chrys'

Apparently they have the same phone??? since neither of them noticed until Penny went digging through her contacts

They called 911???? I mean, I guess idk what I'd do if I got lost in the middle of a city in the middle of the night with no way to contact anyone I knew

Will be interesting to see how this Teri takes on the subject of cops, seeing how they were an antagonizing force in the last modern WIP, and now they're gonna be escorting the MCs back to their car

"If my mom finds out that we had to be escorted by the police because I couldn't remember the area and forgot her phone number, she's not going to let me out of the house for a month," I groaned.' ok she kinda has a point there though

Okay the cop was just like... tired. He was there. Truly giving us nothing.

Except a ride back to the parking garage ig

Btw, how does Penny remember the name and address of a club but not her mom's phone number?? Like I get it nowadays, I don't memorize any numbers but my own, but in 2009?? In 2009 I could've recited both of my parents' phone numbers, and I was 11 years old

'[Chrys] seemed to be oddly quiet that night, though I couldn't guess at what was wrong.' you can't?? can't even hazard a lil assumption?? can't piece it together???

At least all that gave Chrys time to sober up

'It was Chrys' fault that we'd gone to the club; I was able to admit that much. However, I still felt responsible for being the final decision maker in whether we got to go to the club, and I felt guilty about not being able to find the car. How long was my memory going to be an issue?' probably longer than 3 weeks, hun

"Hey, Penny?" Chrys asked. She held clothes to change into, and was ready to go into the bathroom and wash her face, before we would switch off. I looked up. "Yeah?" "I know we're going to get into a lot of trouble tomorrow when your mom wakes up," Chrys admitted. "But today was cool, man." I didn't exactly agree with her, but I nodded.' (Poor Penny. She's only 21, she should've been at the club! Wait...)

Chrys is all about that type 2 fun

Ahhh here we go, now the journal entry is actually fully filled out

'I slammed the door of the Honda shut. Clouds overhead blocked the blinding sun's rays. It seemed appropriate that the only two overcast days in the past month were on the day Chrys arrived and the day she left.' awww Gertrude kicked her out, didn't she?

Bro it sounds like she wasn't even scared for her own daughter's safety, she was just pissed about breaking curfew??? grow up, woman, be a parent

"Mom didn't listen to what actually happened. We nearly got shot at!" you saw a dude with a gun, you didn't nearly get shot at

Ah, the perfect timing for some more context surrounding Chrys: as she's leaving

'Chrys' parents were the only people I knew that seemed to fit the term 'upper class'. It wasn't just the fact that they were loaded with cash. The way that her parents acted and treated others made me think of snobby European nobles in the early 19th century.' call them out!

Oh wait, Chrys is from Hawaii?? I thought she was from California for some reason

Huh... something something rich white people moving to Hawaii and treating it as their personal 'tropical paradise' while actual indigenous people struggle to do stuff like pay for medical care

Not that Penny's a great example of the latter, seeing as her family has a PRIVATE BEACHSIDE VILLA

But also wow Chrys Hates her folks

Oop, the boy is back

"There!" I said, pointing now. "He's over there, looking at the sign?" Chrys didn't respond. She shuffled down the bench to see more clearly, but she didn't make any response. I glanced back at her, but she was watching me, not looking at the boy. "Penny," she began. "There's no one looking at that sign." I turned back to make sure he was still there. "Sure he is! He's across the station, over by the Greyhound." This time, Chrys didn't bother looking over. "Penny, there's nobody over there. Are you feeling okay?" (siri, play the Twilight Zone theme music)

Okay, seriously, why is Gertrude treating her daughter like she's 17??? She's a college junior, she's 21, she's an adult, you can't just GROUND her

(At the time of writing this, however, I was 17, so fair enough)

A return of Gertrude walking in unannounced and leaving the door open as she goes

I would go ballistic

Family's gonna be taking a vacay~

To their own villa

(Teri, Hanauma Bay is a Nature Preserve, they can't just have a house there)

Family vacation is clearly a ruse just so that her parents can keep a closer eye on her

I know the messaging I was going for in trying to write Penny's body dysmorphia. Try to emphasize that being thin does not equate health. That it doesn't magically solve confidence issues. Etc.

But omfg it's painfully out of touch

Kinda funny that I called out the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch as a 'jackass' though

Also!!!! First time usage of a 'swear word'!!! Pretty sure this is the only curse my parents would let slide when I was growing up, so I felt a little more comfortable putting it in writing

'April 23, 2009 We dropped Chrys off at the bus station today. She's going to be heading back to her parents. Poor girl. Mr. and Mrs. Aldrich are the kind of people that help me see why the French revolution happened. Not that I'd wish they'd go to the guillotine or anything, but if they'd lived back then, that's where they'd have gone.' (She really said 'eat the rich' lmao)

Ending Thoughts:

I totally forgot about the 'wind up at a club, get lost in the middle of the city' part of this story lol Seriously, most of what I was reflecting on while reading back through this is the insane kind of control that Gertrude keeps trying to enact over her daughter, and the really rough attempts to pass along a message about body positivity. I think at this point, I was a bit more aware of my writing and what messaging could come across to readers. In 2011, I didn't give a rat's ass about discussing real-world problems, but they crept in anyways: oppression, treatment of prisoners, power struggles. In 2013, I was a little more aware but struggled to find the fine line between my character's perspective vs. my own. In 2015, I'm much more intentionally writing in my own thoughts, but with very little grace. Just a lot of hammering, and in loud, abrasive, insensitive words.

[paintedscales]

Can they fall asleep anywhere? Or are do they need an optimum condition to sleep in?

What does a lazy morning consist of?

Does your OC prefer early nights or late mornings?

Here's some for the awesome Nomin! <3

Hiiii, pinxli! Thank you so much for the multiple asks! \ ; w ; / I appreciate it greatly! ♥♥

Warm and Cozy OC Asks

I'm gonna put my answers under a cut so it doesn't stretch others' dashes!

\ o w o /

Can they fall asleep anywhere? Or are do they need an optimum condition to sleep in?

This one feels interesting because Nomin is fairly nomadic for a large portion of her life! It's only when we're talking about her life on the Island Sanctuary that she largely considers that a stationary home for her and her family. So...the assumption would be that she could fall asleep virtually anywhere, but when I think about it, I don't think she can!

Nomin dislikes the cold, so if it's cold, she can't really sleep that well. Nights in Ishgard, Coerthas, Dravania, Sharlayan, and Garlemald were very tough for her! Same for venturing through Eureka. She'll need prep and time to get warm before she feels comfortable enough to sleep. Generally this means decent fires or fire shards / crystals that can radiate warmth or imbue warmth.

Other than that, if it's temperate and generally pretty agreeable weather, Nomin can fall asleep in a good number of places. Including upon the back of her horse, Mori. So long as she's properly secured upon her saddle or just in general upon his back. She does utilize methods learned from the Dataqi people in how to manage this.

What does a lazy morning consist of?

Hm...a lazy morning for Nomin is definitely just being able to lounge in bed for a good ten to twenty minutes. Taking time to collect her thoughts and get ready for the rest of the day -- having that luxury of doing so. When camping out, sometimes she'll stir and open up the flap of her tent to let in some air to both take it in as well as air out any staleness that might have accumulated over the night.

Staying at an inn or personal room, it's the luxury of having a private bath to soak in. Having the time to take care of her scales more thoroughly with coconut oils, as well as take care of any loosened scales that might be that way because more scales are growing in. It may not sound lazy on the surface, though to Nomin, it does seem trivial than waking up and having to be right back at work in some fashion as the Warrior of Light. You can tell if she hasn't had a chance to care properly for herself if her scales look dull or even disheveled due to not having the time to care for them.

With Estinien in her life, it's just getting to bask with him on a morning he also decides to be lazy since I imagine he sticks pretty diligently to a morning routine and keeping his body and skills sharpened for whatever may come. He's just used to it as something he's done for 20+ years of his life. But sometimes...sometimes a morning rolls by where it's just nice to have the company of your partner and feel love and give love in return.

Does your OC prefer early nights or late mornings?

Definitely depends.

Nomin enjoys stargazing, and in fact, believes the Steppe to have some of the most brilliant transitions from day to night. If she ever asks to share a night of stargazing with you while on the Steppe, it's because she wants to share with you one of the most beautiful sights she holds dear.

Outside of that, however, I believe Nomin more prefers tucking in early at night as opposed to having a late start on her morning. Especially when she becomes a parent, not that she has too much choice in when she's awake and when she's asleep until a certain point in the children's lives, haha.

[yumester]

OC rambling under the cut because I am having a moment

So I have an OC, let's say his name is Kasper; short for Kas. Kas is like going through the worst Tuesday of his life. In actuality, its been six years in the making and the world is ending—typical alien takeover, post apocalyptic/brutal dystopia Armageddon (some part Half Life and interlining Heavenly Delusion, mixed with Fallout NV in a drug laced worldbuilding cocktail). A bunch of stuff happens to him yada yada (i.e. mind taken over, body modified against his will, nightmares/hallucinations on a constant bases, loses every ounce of his previous life; family, friends, future desires, etc.). And, suffice to say, Kasper was about to live the rest of his life as a unyielding drone to some entity beyond his understanding.

That is until he meets professor Lise Blackwood while patrolling. Lise is another character of mine, originally a RP self-insert style scientist but unlike Kasper, I actually did a few stuff with her here and there.

Anyway, Lise and Kasper have history together, Lise was a tutor for Kasper in her college years—forming a close relationship of sorts. They reunite; Kasper technically chasing after her into a desecrated building while she fails to hide from him, only to be reassured when he does something that sparks recognition that its him. Funny thing is though, Kasper can't talk. Couldn't for years from the modifications (he's like one of the Combine Soldiers in that regard, junk rammed through his throat and body absolutely wiped clean). There is one thing Kasper keenly knows what to do for this. It's sign language.

Back in school, one of the things Lise taught Kasper was sign language. To be honest, Kas thought nothing of it at the time. He was technically forced to learn it. But he liked Lise's odd teaching so it kind of worked out.

Anyway, Lise takes in Kasper. Not necessarily like some dumb adoption or other found family nonsense. Kas is like in his late twenties, was literally in college when shit hit the fan, while Lise is in her late thirties/early forties. Taking in Kas is a process in and of itself. For one, she's literally commandeering the enemy, Kas technically is still viewed as a tool for the outsiders. Two, she has no idea if its actually Kas because he's tailored head to toe with padded armor and no voice to speak but she just hopes in a way it truly is him. Three, she has to talk to the current group she's with about it; technically just her, her old buddy from work, some robot she found in a parking lot, and lab rat of sort. A small group nonetheless. Last task isn't hard to do but the walking tin can of a robot despises her for it. Though, to be honest, he's always hated her (if I go into details about their dynamic this would be like 1k words later but lets just say they were siblings in a previous life <3).

Okay with that out of the way, I wanna say this; imagine feeling so out of place in a world you hardly recognize. What do you do?

To Lise, it's simple. Learn everything you can and adapt.

To Kasper, it's a hard and yet, to him it should feel easy. He wishes it was. He wants attainment. Whatever that might be, he doesn't know. For now he just kinda wanders the line of being there and not being there. Lise is like an anchor to him, a sad anchor but a good one nonetheless.

Thinking back to that post I reblogged talking about certain dynamics. Lise and Kas are like "I'd destroy the world to protect you" but in like a child, grown in harsh, cold environment trying to protect its mother type beat. Whereas Lise is like "I hate everyone but I love you more than anything" core. She literally does not care for people or things or anything, she is very cold at times not even gonna lie. Kas is like one of the, if not, only people she treats in high regard and yet, Kas would probably destroy any ounce of himself for her.

Funnily enough, both have the mindset of "I hate everyone in this room except you" but in like very different fonts.

TLDR; Boy who loses everything finds comfort in someone he lost and can and will absolutely do anything for them even if that means losing himself even more, even if that means betraying his former teacher.

[heyitsjooooanne]

Wow.

Twenty-two years have gone by so quick.

I don't usually talk about this day (other than deep discussions with my mom), but here's what I have to say about it.

The day started off like any other day.

Except this time it was different.

At the time, I was ten years old, and only a few months into fifth grade. I attended a school in California that unfortunately only had one month of summer vacation.

Anyway, my sister, who was almost sixteen at the time, was getting ready for her school at 6 AM the way she usually did. Hair, makeup, the works. She always had the radio on when she did this, probably to avoid the monotony, and I think younger me was woken up by either her, or the radio host. KIISFM? That was her usual station, but I don't remember if she was listening to it that morning. I just vaguely remember getting up a little earlier than usual that day.

So fast-forward to me in school.

I don't remember much about that day, but I definitely know that younger me was not aware of the…intensity of the situation. Looking back, I think the atmosphere was a little off, but I had no way of understanding it at that time.

I don't remember anything else about school that day, but my dad picked me up the way he always did.

Recently, a friend of mine who attended another school in the same area told me that they all got off early in her school.

Was I let out early?

I can't remember.

So my dad picked me up, and he had the radio on. He had a station that played audio of people panicking and screaming. Today, that sound would be tragic for me to listen to, but at the time, I just heard people making funny and silly noises. Like the whiny sound a child would make before crying.

Anyway, we made it home, and the TV in our living room was just an image of the towers standing there, burning. I didn't stay there for long though, and went into my room. I don't remember what I watched on TV though, and the rest of the day was a blur. I think I remember hearing about the "no planes" rule from somewhere and trying to either notice the difference the silence made, or waiting for them to show up again.

Also, odd little detail, but my mom recently told me that she slept over at work that day. Something that younger me had never even noticed!

Anyway, my brain immediately moved on from the event after that.

I barely thought about it again until after I turned twenty.

This must've been some time in the 2010s, but I just remember hearing about documentaries being released on the anniversary and actually wanting to watch them.

Now, keep in mind, I had watched documentaries about other events before, so this was nothing new.

But I think hearing about those documentaries coming out on, or around the anniversary date, just made me feel compelled to hear about the events again.

Like a yearly ritual.

And then at some point, I didn't need to wait for the anniversary anymore. If something ever came up that reminded me of that day, or I was just curious, I would look it up. No anniversary needed.

So now, after years of reading various accounts, seeing photographs, and watching documentaries/films, I finally understand what younger me could not.

I finally understand why thousands of people losing their lives was tragic.

How did I finally understand?

Empathy.

I think it's empathy.

Imagining myself in the shoes of the numerous people who were affected by that day. From the people in the buildings, to the people in the planes, the nervous loved ones waiting for news, the air traffic controllers, and the people whose planes were rerouted. As well as those poor kids who were on their way to California for a school trip with their teachers since they were close to my age at the time.

There are many events that have happened in the past that we have naturally grown numb to (random example, French Revolution), but I think if I watched a few documentaries, and read a few eyewitness accounts of the time, I could probably imagine myself in the shoes of a person who lived during that period.

Or maybe not. Who knows?

But a little overdue empathy goes a long way in understanding the significance of an event.

— 9/11/2023

[misquigley]

Time was a lot of things while also not. They say time is supposed to be patient, to heal and give one time to grow. However, time for them, it was often stolen and had been for quite a while now. Even the blonde felt like she was missing a large chunk of time from her life; one night she was going to bed at seventeen going on eighteen only to wake up forty-two. She lived those twenty something years, remembered bits and pieces of that time spent, but there was still a gapping hole.

Natalie was a reminder of that time lost and she was sure the same could be said about herself when the brunette looked at her. Though they shared that ( among other things brought on by the wilderness ) she knew that she didn't struggle as hard as the other woman did. Misty always could hide things better then the others did, a skill she learned early on in life, before the crash. And it helped but it also caused further damage that she tried to ignore right along with everything else. She wondered, though, when and if it would get easier, when time would finally be restored and even itself out. It did, a little bit, when she looked to the woman in front of her.

When she looked at Natalie, things made sense. She felt grounded, she felt whole, like that missing gapping part of her didn't exist. She knew she was alone in that feeling, but it didn't bother her. At least she tried not to let it bother her. Tonight is no different; hazel eyes watching the queen, wondering when an order would be given to step in front of her, to protect her. It's all Misty knew how and what to do when it came to the brunette; being the knight in battered armor, ready to serve and do whatever she had to do. Those same eyes were looking pass the other until she heard Nat's voice which caused her to look at the other, brows furrowing at the initial and follow-up question.

Why? Why me? Misty repeated the words in her head, but it didn't take her long to figure out what she was referring to. Still, brows remained furrowed as eyes drifted to the space between them as hands smoothed along the sides of jean clad thighs. Everyone had their own reason for following her; Lottie's decree that It had chosen was the popular response. Not for the blonde. No, there was more to her reasoning and want to follow and serve.

She almost missed that pleading look from the brunette and that left a pang of sadness in her chest to see it. It also held her steadfast to give Natalie a proper and real answer, one that she deserved. Whether she would like it, that was another issue in and of itself and would be something to worry about later. So a breath was drawn in and held for a moment before she released it slowly, eyes having returned to lock with the others. "It wasn't because of what Lottie said. I want you to know that right now..." she began, voice soft, "I used to watch you in school. Thought of you a lot too and every time...I'd get this...warm fuzzy feeling. I didn't know what it was until we were out there, around the time of the little party we had..."

Throat was cleared as words trailed off, but she continued on, "I did everything I could to keep you alive. When we drew t-...those cards that first time...logically I knew you being offered up was a bad idea. You were the best shot we had at surviving but I c-...couldn't let them hurt you. I know that day was hard for...so many reasons...but when I saw you out on that frozen lake I prayed that ice held because I couldn't imagine a world without you in it. An-...and I still can't..." All the while her voice grew more and more wobbly, wavering here and there.

@misquigley gets a random non-plotted thing.

TIME JUST WASN'T ENOUGH, EVEN WITH SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS GROWING UP. Mind racing with so many what-if's and clinging to the prospects of youth that would somehow never fully develop regardless of years passing by. She would always be stuck in the past, horror present around every corner that indulged the waking senses of dread unable to be contained. A looming presence and nothing more, or so she continued to tell herself. An overwhelming conundrum: it will go away, one day. One day. But when? Looking at Misty now, she held onto the constant reminder of history wanting to be forgotten but would never leave, like a plague. Perhaps, that was the overall distaste which filled her mouth whenever in the other's presence and yet, she knows it to be unfair. Especially when the woman before her had done nothing save for be a knight in golden curls riding bare back upon a steed not meant for her. Too much for just one person to hold such a weight upon their shoulders and hadn't Natalie held enough on her own given the circumstance of their previous relationship? So much apprehension built around a sea of endless possibilities that could have gone so differently should the universe chosen to give them an opportunity like anyone else. ❝ Why? ❞ She suddenly asks, standing there with a hesitance rare enough for anyone to look at Natalie with some skepticism and she expects Misty to do the same. ❝ Why me? ❞ Fact of the matter is, she doesn't want the same retired bullshit explanation that Lottie had chosen her. She wants something real, something tangent. Something she can actually cling to that she believes to be true. There was no one else more fervent in their devotion than Misty and so, the question is asked with an almost pleading sort of gaze. As if silently asking to be told that it's far more than just one person's belief, that it isn't just because of everything that happened out there in the wilderness: that it's something more than that alone.

[ultrastarbee]

request here!! can you do a mikey x reader, in which, reader and mikey are in their early 20s and reader finds out that she is expecting. mikey falls into his dark impulses and like starts ignoring her time to time until he finally disappears without a trace. with that, reader tries to find him but it was no use so she like moved as well. well tried. it wasn’t easy being pregnant. seven years has passed, their daughter is now six and reader is happily married and is expected another baby on the way. while this is happening, mikey was keeping tabs on the reader and his daughter. he sees her moving on and seeing his daughter grow up, it hurts him but what can he do. he regrets leaving both of them behind but he had to do what he had to do. (it’a where mikey created bonten and the purpose of it but no time leap include. it’s just set to one timeline.)

that’s my request. well, i hope your doing great! take care of yourself!!

Sorry for the long wait, my schedules are tight, but I love writting and needed to do this pain today. Kinda loved your request, it's really specific and real. I love Mikey, it's so good writing for him even if it's painful

Title: Break Apart Request: yup Couple: Mikey x fem!reader Category: Angst☂ Content Warning: stalking, neglect Word Count: 633 Summary: As your daughter grows older you can't help but imagine how Mikey would be as a father. You didn't know he keeps a close eye on you and his child. A/N: Well, this hurt. Needed to be in the right mindset to feel pain good like this

MASTERLIST ....... RULES  ....... SERIES LIST

You had just turned twenty and, as a gift from life, you were pregnant. Mikey wasn't home when you found out, so you waited for him to come back. You both wanted a family, maybe not right now, but you were sure you both wanted it someday. Mikey didn't came home that night or the night after that. Hell, he wasn't home for a whole week, but when he was you made sure to tell him the big news. Mikey didn't react. He didn't move an eyebrow, just looking at you with those empty eyes. Sometimes those eyes gave you chills.

The life inside you grew strong, but Mikey wasn't a good partner. He took care of all your needs, but then disappeared for days, even weeks. You know he was part of a dark world. You loved him. Dangerous, tired and cold. You loved every inch of his being, but love doesn't hold bridges by itself. Love can't sew what was torn. When you were teens Mikey was the most precious boy you ever met. Adorable and caring, even clingy sometimes. The memories couldn't pay for the pain you felt. Your kid didn't deserve this life. So when Mikey vanished without a word for two hole months you knew he wouldn't come back. That's why you left.

Mikey didn't follow.

At the end of the eight month your belly was huge. Being all by yourself was a living hell. An old friend of your helped when your baby decided to come sooner than expected. A perfect little girl with dark eyes just as her father. Seven years passed by as fast as the sea waves. Your daughter is thrilled with the new baby inside your belly.

"I will be a cool big sis just like uncle Shin!" she was jumping up and down with the energy her father had when he was a kid. You froze with her words. You never talked aboud Mikey before. "Who told about Shinichiro, sweetie?" you try to keep your voice as calm as possible. "Dad did!" her smile was huge. You then look over to your husband who now was washing the dishes from dinner. "No, mommy! My other dad!" your daughter laughs, but you are terrified. "Come on, sweetie, let's put you to bed" trying to push the fears away you hold your daughter's hand and take her to her bedroom. "I want to hear more about uncle Shin" she yawns "dad likes to tell histories, you know?". She is soon sleeping heavily.

You know Mikey is even dangerous than before, so your daughter is going to change schools. You need to know she is safe. Mikey never appeared in your front again, but your daughter seemed to know him for a long time now. What if he hurts her? He can do that easily. You need to talk to your husband about it, but what if Mikey hurts him too?

She was his daughter as well. Mikey has the right to be part of her life. But he should, though? He wasn't there for you or for her before, why does he want to be a part of her life now? Isn't it unfair with both of you?

As you watched your daughter sleeping Mikey was outside your house watching you move inside her bedroom. He does it every night. Mikey always knows where you and his daughter are, how you both are and what is happening in your lives. He knows he has no right to do that, but he does anyway. Everyday the regreat of leaving you eats what is left of his heart. "Let's go, Kakucho." Mikey demands and the car go back to his office.

Now he is the head behind Bonten. There's no way he is risking his daughter.

[amazonswin]

Saudade: Chapter 3

Pairing: Duncan/Courtney (Total drama)

Word count: 1.3k

———

18:37 - Courtney, please call me back.

11:26 - I know, just call so we can talk about it

19:43 - I’m not mad. Can we please meet up to talk?

13:21 - Court..

Courtney looked down at the seemingly countless missed calls and messages. How could she even respond? Sorry I didn’t tell you I had your baby, I was a stupid sixteen year old? No. That wouldn’t fix anything. Duncan seemed to have his life together, maybe that should count for something. And Maelie. Maelie deserved a chance to know her dad. But would that do more harm than good? He wasn’t a good person before, and how could she possibly know if he had truly changed. Courtney couldn’t risk it. She needed to protect her daughter, and herself.

She had barely realized it was time to take lunch. The usually busy office was silent as she walked out. The last thing she expected to see behind the door was him.

“What are you doing here?” Courtney looked around, making sure no one would witness their conversation.

“You wouldn’t answer my calls and we have to talk about this.”

“You cannot be here and you definitely cannot make a scene. Imagine what they’ll say about me…”

“I’m not here to make a scene, I just want to talk.”

“Fine, but not here.” Courtney walked off, with Duncan not far behind.

The park was within walking distance, but far enough away that she was sure no one would overhear. Aside from a few parents with their children, it was rather empty anyway. Courtney used to be sure that she knew everything, but she had no idea how to have this conversation.

“So why did you hide it?” Duncan was sick of beating around the bush. He wanted, he needed, answers.

“I was sixteen and pissed off” She sighed, “I was perfect, I made sure my life was perfect and worked very hard to keep it that way. And then came you. You were my complete opposite and I hated you. But I also was in love and I was crazy. Extremely crazy. But, hey, I had you.”

She took a deep breath and looked up before continuing.

“Until I didn’t… you cheated and left. To make it worse it was with someone who I had the audacity to consider a friend. I had no one. Then I lost the stupid show and had nothing. I went home a loser and a failure. I had to face my parents that way, face the world that way. Once settled I noticed something was different, I was… off. With the stress and the depression, I didn’t think much of it. By the time I found out it was too late. Not that I wouldn’t have kept her… I honestly don’t know what I would have done. I’m grateful I didn’t have to make that choice. The right thing was to tell you, I knew that. But I couldn’t, after all you did to me? I wanted you to hurt, to suffer like I did.”

Duncan couldn’t look at her. He knew he hurt her, but he never really considered how much.

“A few months in, I knew I had to tell you. But by then no one knew where you were. I gave up even trying. I was selfish and horrible, and I know that now… I really do wish I could change it. But I can't…”

“I know I hurt you, and god I wish I could change that. But it doesn’t matter. We had a baby and you didn’t tell me. I deserved to know. And I deserve to know her.” Duncan tried to control his temper, but who could blame him for being mad? It was his kid. And he didn’t even get to know.

“Duncan, I’m sorry…”

“I want to meet her. I want to be involved.”

“I can’t let her get hurt.”

“The only one hurting her is you. She deserves a dad, and you kept that away.”

“Duncan…” Courtney felt helpless, she knew he was right. But was she really willing to risk it? No. There had to be conditions, she had to protect Maelie. “Fine. An introduction. But there needs to be terms.”

“Are we really going to negotiate this? I have the right to meet my child.” Duncan had enough, he wasn’t going to let this stay hidden any longer. He couldn’t.

“It’s the only way we both get what we want. You meet her, I keep her safe. You agree or I can’t let it happen.”

“Fine.” He reluctantly agreed. He had to and he knew it. “So what are these terms?”

“You can meet, but only as my friend. No mention of you being her dad, not yet.”

***

Courtney’s house was exactly as Duncan expected. Clean cut neighborhood, white picket fence. His motorcycle turned more than a few heads as he rode in. She opened the door before he even had the chance to knock.

“Quite the place you got here.”

“It’s nothing much… Here come in” Courtney moved aside to let him in.

You could hardly tell someone in their twenties lived here. It was too formal, not a single thing seemed out of place. Even for Courtney, this seemed a little too adult. He questioned if it was her taste at all.

“This is a really nice place. How much did it cost ya?” He joked.

“Ha. Well as absent as they were, my parents do at least financially provide.” One of the few things the pair had in common was crappy parents. Though he really couldn’t compare his constant fighting to hers never being there. The two bonded over it early in their relationship, but Duncan figured as Courtney got older it may have got better. Looks like it didn’t.

“So they bought this?”

“Yep. Along with most everything in it.” Courtney had of course protested their decisions, but at least they were somewhat involved. They hardly came over anyway, just the occasional holiday. “Except Maelie’s room, that’s all her” She smiled. Courtney hardly changed much around the house, but once she turned six Maelie demanded a room full of pink. There was no talking her out of it.

“Where is she anyway? It’s awfully quiet for a kid.”

“Oh, she had some lessons after school. Her friend’s mom offered to drop her off, so should be here any minute now.” Courtney hated how awkward this was. Maybe she could talk about Maelie’s violin lessons? That was a skill she was more than happy to pass on. But bragging didn’t seem like the best option. So waiting was the only thing to do.

Finally a knock caught her attention. Courtney quickly answered and made some polite small talk with the mom. Given the age difference and her constant work schedule, she never found much in common with the other mothers. She tried her best for her daughter’s sake, but despised every moment of it.

Duncan was shocked at the sight of Maelie. She looked just like Courtney, the same light brown skin and scattered freckles. The only difference was her big, striking blue eyes. There was no denying that she was his daughter, and he loved her already.

She set her bag down before slightly hiding behind her mom, “Mommy, who is that?”

Courtney squatted beside her to be more eye level, “This is Mommy’s friend, Duncan. He’s going to join us for dinner, okay?”

“Okay..” She responded as she moved a bit closer to him, “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Duncan.” Maelie reached her hand out, giving Duncan’s hand a rather firm shake. “My mom says that a good handshake creates a good first impression. Otherwise they’ll walk on you” She shrugged.

He laughed, “Well with that shake, no one will walk on you.” With that it was clear she was the perfect mix of the both of them. Of what they could have been.

[bumbershots]

LOVEFOOL

Author’s note: HELLO! This is my part for the Valentine’s Day challenge that @1dffchallenges put together. Make sure to keep an eye out for any other pieces published by other authors. Enjoy! And happy Valentine’s weekend! (:

Summary: Harry agrees to go on a blind date set up by his friends in hopes that it will help him move on from an unrequited love.

Word count: 3K

Challenge prompt and dialogue: blind date set up by friends. “I don’t want this to end...”

There’s a first for everything. Harry’s had his fair share of them at the age of twenty-seven. First time on an aeroplane at the tender age of six for a family holiday in Rome. First kiss on his home town’s park with someone he deeply cared about. First time in a recording studio. First time going on tour. The first night spent alone in his new and barely furnished home. The first morning he laid eyes on the girl next door. The ugly heartbreak after she got married, certainly felt worse than his first one.

Life is full of firsts, Harry knows that, and he wishes to have been the first to sneak his way into Jane’s heart, all those years ago.

"You love her" it almost sounds like an accusation coming from Jeff, though the last thing he wants is to make Harry feel guilty. The musician doesn't reply, he shrugs, eyes never leaving her no matter how deep into the ocean she seems to be. "Does she know?" Harry shakes his head in denial. "Did you bring her along just so you could tell her?"

"I enjoy writing music with her, that's why she's here," his tone leaves no room for more questions, the manager knows and sighs defeated. Harry stands from his spot on the beach and heads back inside the house, alone.

Is he being that obvious?

He reviews the past few days and wonders where he slipped, nothing rings any bell. Harry completely and conveniently forgets how he doesn't nag her for having a smoke after dinner, instead he just opens the window and stands close to it, or how he's been making her a cuppa everyday at noon. But it was the time when Jane asked him to help her French plait her hair when something clicked in Jeff's brain, the way Harry beamed at such a simple request left no room for questioning. Yet he asked him, because there was that tiny chance of it all being part of the manager's imagination, but when he looked back on it, the little things now made more sense to him and in a way he always knew.

They've been in Port Antonio for two weeks now and everything was going just dandy, Harry was writing more than ever, the first week he had a new song every day, he even polished the old ones and had a tune for his favourites, thanks to Mitch's help. When Jeff Azoff got there earlier this week, he spent a good two hours talking to Jeff Bhasker about how much of a good idea the trip was.

"Harry is on a writing spree." He complimented Azoff's client, it was nothing but the truth. However the reason for it all, was now heading back to the house to join the others after a good surfing session.

Jane went straight to take a shower, ready to rinse all the ocean's saltiness from her body, thinking how wonderful it would've been if her own worries could be washed away with her tangerine shampoo. In contrast to Harry's good spirits and excellent mood, her own cloud of trouble seemed to follow her all the way from London. She still hadn't heard from her husband, so it is safe to say he was still upset about her going away to work in Harry's album. It was impossible for her to forget the argument they had, at first thinking it was a joke on his side, insinuating that they were ‘shagging behind his back’.

After her shower, wearing comfortable clothes, Jane joins the others for supper but keeps to herself, still with the dichotomy about calling Alex or letting him be. He will eventually come to his senses and apologise. 

What if he doesn't? 

The thought alone of her clothes being packed in boxes by the time she gets back home almost makes her cry, perhaps she can call or text him just to test the waters. It is ridiculous how she seems to be more mature about this than him.

"Penny for them?" Harry's voice brings her back to the now empty dining room, the voices from the rest of their party can be heard from the living room.

"God I'm sorry H, lost myself out there for a moment," she is embarrassed, with him, the others and herself for letting this situation get under her skin. And she's also avoiding talking about it, with Harry or anyone. "I was just thinking about the tempo for Sweet Creature."

"Liar," he hates to be shut down by her more than anything. "Is it because I didn't let you eat the last peanut drop the other day?" It would've been easier for her to say it was, than to address the actual reason. But Harry hasn't lied to her, ever.

"No love, although I was a bit hurt because of that, it's actually this thing with Alex we are, I don't know, he was upset with me and said some things," Jane couldn't finish, her speech was cut short by a quiet sob and Harry was quick to pull her from the chair onto his lap and hold her tight. His own heart speeding at the sight of her distressed.

"When was the last time you spoke to him?"

"Two weeks ago." Her voice barely whispers on his chest, "he's being a wanker to be honest, just because he's not going on tour with any of his bands I'm supposed to be a stay at home wife!"

"Why don't you explain this to me, from the beginning, please?" He asks rubbing her back soothingly, and she spills it all, the having kids now or never argument, to her wanting to have a proper wedding party and finally the latest fight where Alex suggested an affair going on between her and Harry, the latter had to do his best not to put the option on the table, since her husband so kindly suggested it. Might as well, he thought. "It all sounds like a big misunderstanding, I know you're a great communicator sunshine, so it baffles me that you've let this go on for so long." He's got a point.

"You're right, but I feel like it's his turn, you know?" Jane's done weeping, but remained on her friend's lap and arms, head resting on his shoulder. "He's always forward, mature, a proper thirty year old except when it comes to arguments where we ought to reach an agreement," she plays a bit with the cross hanging from his neck, a scowl on her pretty face. "Like with the children thing, we only stopped arguing when I said that maybe in two more years we could have one instead of, you know, my early thirties." It's good that she can't see how upset Harry is.

"You gave into that one, he should do the same but it's his choice," Harry sighs and can't believe what he's about to say. "Take the day off tomorrow, call him or FaceTime, Skype whatever you choose, but have a proper conversation with him." She wants to argue and say it's not necessary to be absent the whole day, she can spare a few hours. But she will need time to think about what to say, make her point clear so they are on good terms until she goes back to London.

"Fine, but if he is still acting like a dickhead afterwards, I'm not going to let it into my head anymore, we will continue to bask in this great work environment going on here." Jane states, pulling away from his embrace just enough to give him that stern look she uses when trying to make a point, and Harry nods with a warm smile, the one she never gets tired of seeing. "I'll call it a night now, gonna be asleep in seconds now that I've got that out of my chest." She stands from his lap, missing his warmth instantly. "Thanks for that."

"Anytime honey pie." Harry says before leaving a kiss on her left hand that burns her skin from then till morning.

Jeff joins the musician in the dining room right after the girl walks away to her room, he takes a seat across from him and scrutinises the look of adoration his friend still sports once she is out of the room.

"She'll never know, if you never tell her." Jeff is right, but the thought alone of going through that again scares him to death. Or so he says, because there's a part of him that is fond of the thrill it makes him feel.

"It's not like I haven't tried, just last year I told her," Harry remembers that night vividly, how pretty she looked even with her makeup all smudged under her eyes. "I'm not sure if she heard, it was too loud like where we were at the time." He was also pissed out of his mind.

"H, there's nothing wrong with being in love."

"I'm not saying it is, but even if she did love me I– I would find a way to hurt her. Anyway. she's happily married now, it's too late." Saying it out loud doesn't hurt him any less like he thought it would. Harry sighs in defeat before rising from the chair, "she's everything to me, I wouldn't mess with her head by confessing my feelings, deep down I always knew she deserved better and now she has it and that's good enough for me." The musician disappears through the corridor where his everlasting love did just a few minutes ago, he paused for a moment outside her room, pondering whether to barge in and just follow his instincts, kiss her like he should've done after winning that award back in 2014.

Harry shakes his head and goes straight to his room, he reminds himself that it was time to let her go. It's for the best. He is not good enough for her, he can't even write a song for her, about her. He mustn't love her that much then.

What Harry doesn't know is that he can't write a song about her because he loves her too much, the poor lad can't even figure out where to start. But he's about to get rid of that curse in a day or two, he just needs to be patient.

The reward for it came, all of a sudden Harry wrote too many songs about her until she inevitably became aware of the situation they were in. Harry vowed to stay away from Jane’s life after recording the album. He dated people that didn’t remind him of her, and even moved temporarily to Japan. But despite all his efforts, four years later Harry still finds himself thinking about her, everything seems to be tainted by her. The music he adores, the new dinner recipes he cooks, the books he chooses to read.

Completely out of options he agreed to this blind date his friends set up for him.

He arrives at the modest restaurant they so kindly chose for the occasion. “All you have to do is wear something nice and show up.” Alexa reminded him over the phone last week.

This is a new first for him, it is also exciting, to take a seat at a table for two conveniently placed at the back, pretend to pay attention to the menu but let his green eyes avert to whoever approaches. Harry is having a great time, he knows that soon his date will arrive. He wonders what they’ll be like.

According to Alexa and Pixie, the person arriving is the perfect match for their young friend. Harry can only hope they like Vietnamese cuisine because that’s apparently this place’s special offer this week. If he’s lucky enough the date will agree to share a starter and perhaps two main courses, that way he doesn’t have to choose between one or the other.

“Here’s your table.” Harry hears the waiter speak and his gaze meets a very familiar figure standing beside him. It can’t be.

“Excuse me, there must be a mistake, I’m waiting for someone else.” Harry protests.

The waiter shakes his head and shows him the notepad with some specifications written down. “Nothing wrong, got specific instructions from Miss Chung, a lady will come in to say is here for Geldolf’s blind date, you are sitting at the table they reserved. I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.” He is quick to explain and disappear.

Jane sits because there is no way she can stand any longer, her legs are about to give out from the commotion. This was not the blind date she was expecting either. It’s been at least four years since she last saw Harry. The night after he finally admitted being in love with her, waiting for a reaction, anything from her, after what seemed like hours but was only ten minutes later, he walked out of her house and entire life, leaving her confused and upset.

“How’ve you been?” she asked after confirming that Harry wasn’t going to up and leave.

“Pretty fantastic, until you arrived.” He’s never spoken to her like that before, with so much affliction in his tone. “What are you doing here?”

“I was set up on a blind date by Pixie—

He interrupts her. “That’s fucking convenient, did you all went to this much trouble, just to mock me? I thought they were my friends, you know, that even after everything, they cared about me.” Harry stops, his voice breaks, he’s so angry, hurt and confused by the situation. “Did your husband come along, to witness my humiliation too?” He looks around, trying to find the man of Jane’s dreams.

“I wouldn’t know if he’s here, haven’t seen him since we got divorced three years ago.” She snaps before hiding behind the menu from a gobsmacked Harry.

The words he’d been waiting to hear were finally out of her mouth. Unlike the million times he dreamt about this happening, Harry is not sweeping her off her feet and running away into the sunset holding her hand. Instead he reaches out to touch her arm, testing the waters. He waits for her to lower the menu and surprisingly there are no tears in her eyes. Perhaps only a bit of sorrow that is quickly replaced with confusion, at how fast her heart raced after Harry’s touch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice is back to oozing the tenderness he reserves just for her. Jane nods.

“But can we share a rice bowl and Pho noodle soup?” 

“Yes, and dessert too!” Even after four years Harry’s sweet tooth hasn’t changed, Jane sighs before the waiter is back to take their order.

Keeping a conversation between the two of them is not hard at all, even if it is an awkward topic —her not so recent divorce. “We didn’t have anything in common anymore, there were so many fights every single day. When I finally suggested the separation, he seemed relieved and I felt like a complete fool.” Jane remembers the sigh of comfort that came out of the man she once loved with all her heart before that rainy afternoon, when she finally decided that she’d had enough. “He left that night, hadn’t seen him since, his lawyer took care of everything,” a sour laugh escapes her lips, Harry’s eyes are full of sympathy for her. “I’m sorry for ruining your blind date, I know you’ve never been to one before.” Of course she did, she knows him better than anyone.

“This has to be the greatest date I’ve ever been to.” He speaks without a second thought. 

All those years Harry spent away from Jane were not going to be in vain. He was not going to neglect the feelings he still had for her. That affection he felt for her, only her. Harry shifts in his seat, this is not at all how he planned it, in a restaurant full of people on fucking Valentine’s day. It almost seemed like a tacky move.

But after all this time of pining for her, hating her and himself at times. Harry was brave enough, it was now or never, he didn’t want to wait any longer, not after his friends schemed and executed this soppy plan to bring the two soulmates together. Before she could take the final bite of dessert that Harry kindly left for her. The world stopped.

“I don’t want this to end...” Harry says with a dimpled smile she can’t look away from. “I’d like to take you out on a second date, a third, fourth, fifth. Believe me when I tell you, I have planned up to a thousand of them.” He takes her hand in his and can feel her pulse race along his own. The smile splits his face again, because he knows, he feels, he sees it in her beautiful eyes. “Janey, you’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to hold on to. I know there is a name for this emotion, I’ve written songs about it, but now I don’t think it’s a word big enough for us.”

She squeezes his hand and breaths out a laugh, tears of joy brimming out of her eyes. “Let’s call it love, until we come up with a better name for it.” Harry agrees and just then, Jane brings up his hand to her lips. 

His skin tingles where she kisses him for the first time and he beams at her.

There’s a first for everything, and although it feels like it for Jane and Harry, this isn’t by any means the first time they confess their love for each other. It was always there, in every laugh they shared, every song they wrote together, every touch. It was on Harry’s unwavering devotion, on his impatience and selfless actions throughout the years.

They were bound to be together, their story didn’t begin on that initial blind date, it did years ago after he caught a glimpse of her shiny black hair on the morning she moved into the house across the street.

Harry drives her back to her new flat on the other side of the city, enjoying every minute of the long ride, happy to hear her ramble about her newest obsession with romantic novels and burst out laughing after Jane confesses that sometimes she doesn’t finish reading books she likes, just to pretend the story keeps going. With a quick kiss to the back of her hand he completely agrees.

No tale is more compelling than one that never ends.

[redolentgrove]

(askpokemoncrossover)Amber @ Loki: The shiny braixen saw Akira vanishing with a depressed look on his face before she stopped at the taur at least six feet away from bowing apologetically. "Sorry about him, Loki... He's still new when it comes to communicating or interacting with others. Before my brother saved Akira from himself, he was living alone... isolated from people and pokemon. You can imagine what it's like, right? Being alone and having no one else to turn to for so long, it'll be impossible to trust anyone." She then felt the presence of another, like someone's still watching them and saw the arrow that was about to hit the legendary psychic type out of the corner of her eye and started to look around. "H-hey, you did say you have an over-protective daughter... Bijoux, right? Can you ask her to restrain herself when a lucairo in a green jumpsuit comes along? That's my brother, Sai. He told me that he'll meet you after recovering from the hospital..." The braixen asked before she muttered something under her breath: "Jeez... still can't believe that big brothers do stupid things sometimes..."

Loki's tail twitched impatiently at Amber as the Braixen greeted her, but she bowed in return nonetheless. Knowing that she knew Akira closely caused her to be a little wary of the newcomer. However, she would keep an open mind.

"Mmm," Loki rumbled, ears flickering. "I understand that better than you'd think. I've had my fair share of... shall we call it, isolation. Though, that was mostly forced on myself. And the trust... again, far closer a hit to home than you'd guess." She gazed back at the dogwood briefly. "Look, I'll level with you, dear. I'm not holding things against Akira. He didn't make a great first impression, but he's not on my permanent hit list."

  Loki paused as Amber brought up her daughter.

"Yes, Bijoux-"

"Would be me," a familiar voice interrupted.

A shiny Cinccino-taur strode confidently through the nearby brush. She wore a green academic uniform over her front, emblazoned with an "H" emblem on the left chest area. She wore a black bowtie around her neck over the scarf fur, and a black plaid skirt over her hindquarters. Long, flowing white fur billowed from her forehead, wrapping behind her and back around her neck in dual Cinccino scarves, with a matching level of fluff and ivory hues on her tail. Little freckles dotted over her nose and cheeks, as well as the edges of her ears. She was certainly cute-looking and smaller than her mother, standing roughly four-five. She stood next to the Braixen with a headtilt, her gaze softening.  She had a longbow tucked beneath her right shoulder, glasses resting on her muzzle in front of a pair of blue eyes.

"Please forgive me," the normal-type explained, bowing her head. "Those were simply warning shots. I'm not going to actually hit anyone with an arrow... well, not right away, anyway."

"Bijoux." Loki stepped forward, her hand held out as she flexed her fingers. "The bow."

"Mom, I was just... no, nevermind. You're right, I'm sorry." Bijoux passed the equipment over to her mother, who held it with both hands. "I know the rules... no shooting at strangers."

"Yes. You know better." Loki's tail swished with a hint of disappointment. "You're putting way too much pressure on yourself to be a little guardian, and while I cherish you and will always be grateful for that, it's my job to protect you, not the other way around. I would never ask you to take on such a massive task at your age.

"But Mom-"

"No buts, darling." The Leafeon's eyes narrowed as she interrupted her daughter. "I spent my late teens and early twenties being almost nothing but a guardian. I finally just gave up after I got exiled from the old forest and moved here with my kids to White Forest. I realized I was forcing way too much on myself, way too early. I wasn't ready to take on that responsibility. Even now, protecting our grove... I still have my doubts. I don't want you making that same mistake."

Bijoux paused for a few moments, pondering everything Loki had shared with her. Then, in a quick burst of energy, she strode over and hugged her mom, prompting the larger taur to let out a bashful purr of contentment.

After a moment, Loki grabbed Bijoux in a giant bear hug, causing the smaller taur's eyes to narrow and her body to go slightly limp. A few tears streamed down Loki's eyes, and she sniffled sadly.

"I can't believe how fast my little girl's growing up. Mentally, physically... and you're leaving the forest for Harmonia. I'm gonna miss my little girl so much."

"Mom." Bijoux grouchily fidgeted in her mother's grips, her giant ears twitching. "Mom, people are watching, stop." Several Pokemon had gathered at the scene, curious to see what was causing the commotion.

"Sorry." Loki let Bijoux out of her grasp, leaning in to sneak a little noselick on the taur's chin. "Arceus, seven hundred years later I still get all emotional when one of my babies leaves the nest."

"Mom, Harmonia University is just over in Castelia City. You go there all the time anyway; you'd probably stop by like, every single day between floral runs and Casteliacone shopping." The Cinccino brushed her taurhalf with her hands with a quiet smirk.

"Oh, I won't be there every day..." Loki protested. "Just enough of them to embarrass you."

"Mom!!!!" Bijoux leaned up and lightly shoved her mother's left flank with her left hand. "You're awful."

"Hey, did you forget that another part of my job as a mom is to be a pain in your rump? You'll laugh about this by the time you graduate, and the instant you're off doing science stuff in some other region, you'll miss me ribbing you about stupid stuff... just you wait." Loki grinned playfully, giving Bijoux's taurbody a little hip check with her own. "Now, come on. I need to check and make sure you packed everything and see you to the forest edge."

"You're not gonna go to Castelia with me?"

"What?" Loki guffawed with a tailwag. "No, silly, I'm going to stop at the forest's edge, bawl about my baby growing up and milk this for all it's worth! Gonna get half the forest watching you walk off consoling your dear old mother as she proves how much she loves you!"

"MOM!!!!" Bijoux folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

"Hey, I told you, it's part of my job! You just wait until you've got kids and you're doing the same thing to them... you'll love it. Now, up, come on. We need to get moving if you're going to beat the sunset to Castelia." Loki handed the longbow back to Bijoux. "Put this in the shed. I'll keep it safe for you. I’ll be checking; I don’t see it and I’m taking apart those suitcases one by one until I find it."

Bijoux accepted the bow and nodded furiously, scampering off into the distance.

Loki turned back toward Amber with an apologetic gaze. "Sorry, we'll have to rain check things for a bit. As far as this Lucario, Sai... by the time he gets here, I sincerely doubt there'll be any arrows coming for him."

((@askpokemoncrossover ))

(( Art commissioned by me and done by the wonderful Nans, who runs the blog @archivistoftheend ))

[santaclausdeadindian]

Sorry for doing it this way, I think OP deleted their post or blocked me like a mature, balanced person would, so I have to tag you in

@mr-laugh

Oh boy, lot to unpack here.

So you didn’t even know there were that many subgenres of fantasy, one of the most popular classifications of fiction on the planet... And you think you know enough to tell ANYBODY what classic fantasy is?

And where exactly I attempted to do that, huh?

If you don’t even know the most common subgenres of this vast pool of fiction, why are you jumping into this discussion? You just admitted you don’t know anything!

There is no discussion, there is a stupid ass post. Don't flatter yourself, you don't know jack shit.

Me not knowing what exactly are the precize subgenres of a genre of literature, which, btw, are completely arbitrary and for your information, sword&magic is a legitimate category, has absolutely nothing to do with what that post you were so keen on agreeing with above. It was you who said pretty much any classic fantasy is like that: some poorly written, self-indulgent and borderline racist.

Did ya read the link, buddy? Howard talked about knowing what burning black man smelled like. He was quite approving of these things! And the books are pretty racist, it’s not hard to see, unless you ain’t looking.

Yes, I started reading and by the end of the first paragraph I was convinced he was ahorribly racist man. And? Still doesn't change the fact, that for my 12 year old self, there was nothing racist about it. I definetly wasn't looking for it, that much you got right. If I'd read it again, I'm sure I'd catch on to it now, that I know what kind of asshole he was. So the implied racism would be there. You got a point for that.

Rugged individualism? It always amuses me how that argument always pops out of the mouths of guys who are aping what they’ve heard their buddies say. If ten thousand mouths shout “rugged individualism”, how individualistic are they?

Then you should amuse yourself by looking up why this thing crops up as of late. It's coming from certain, supremely racist yet unaware of it publications that claim ridiculous shit like "rugged individualism" is a hallmark of white supremacy, among other, equally laughable things, like punctuality. It's a joke.

Again, I will give Howard to you, if someone that racist writes a black man saving the hero of the story, I bet there was something else still there to make it wrong.

Conan’s not some avatar of rugged individualism.

Uhm, yeah, he pretty much all that.

He’s as unreal and unrealistic as the dragons are,

It's called fantasy for a reason, buddy.

but more dangerous because White Men model their ideas of reality on Big Man Heroes like him;

Glad you are totally not racist, yo!!! It's such a relief that White Men are the only ones with this terrible behavior of looking up to larger than life, mythic superpeople and nobody else. Imagine what it would be like, if we would have some asshole from say, hindu indian literature massacering demons called Rakshassas, by the tens of thousands, or some bullshit japanese warlord would snatch out arrows from the air, or a chienese bodyguard would mow down hundreds of barbaric huns without dropping a sweat, or some middle eastern hero would fight literal gods and their magical beasts in some quest for eternal life.

it's a poison that weakens us, distracting us from actually trying to solve the world’s issues, or banding together to deal with shit.

This is what you just said. It's up to the white man, to get their shit together, be not racist and solve the world's problems, because those poor other people's just can't do it. If we would just not be oh, so racist, then China would surely stop with the genocides they are doing now, or blowing more than half the greenhouse emissions into the athmosphere, the muslims would stop throwing their gays from rooftops or ramming trucks into crowds and would just start treating women as equals, India's massive rape problem would be gone, subsaharan African would be magically bereft of the host of atrocities committed there on a daily, yeah, you sure have that nonracism down, buddy!

A rugged individualist would be smart enough to realize that even the most individualistic person needs others; no man’s an island, and a loner is easier to kill.

Individualism doesn't mean at all what you think it means, it's a cluster of widely differeing philosophies that puts the individual ahead of the group or state, it's ranging from anarchism to liberalism and is also has nothing to do with my point.

Central Europe?  What, Germany?  Because let me tell you, historically they are SUPER concerned about race!

Germany traditionally considered western european, central europe would be the people stuck between them and the russians, to put it very loosely. We are equally nonplussed by the self-flagellating white guilt complex and the woe me victim complex of the west. We did none of the shit those meanie white people did to the nonwhites and suffered everyting any poc ever did and then some. We don't give a shit about your color, we care about what culture you are from and if you respect our values.

I’m an American from a former Confederate state; trust me, race is everything.  It always is.

No it really isn't. How old are you? Asking without condescension, genuinly curious, because if you are in your low twenties at most, it's understandable why you think like this.

See that hike? Do you know what happened at that time that made virtually all american media suddenly go all in with racism?

Occupy Wall Street, that's what. It's a brilliant way to sow victimhood and hate and desperation amongst the people who have one common enemy, the powers that be, the banking sector, the politicians, the megacorporations.

Can't really blame you if you are in your early 20's at most, you grew up with this bullshit hammered into you. If you are older, step out of your echochamber please!

If you actually believe, that mankind doesn't progress naturally towards a more accepting society purely on the merit of there being more good people than bad and sharing a similar living with all the hardships in life, seeing that our prejudices inherited by our parents are baseless, that's how we progress, not virtue signalling courses and regressive policies. I was raised as any other kid, I had a deep resentment towards the neighbouring nations, I said vile, racist shit against people who I actually share a lot of genes with, of which fact I was in deep denial about, and then as I gradually got exposed more and more actual people of these groups, I started to realize I was wrong and everybody should be judged by their individual merits. It works throughout the generations, my grandma was thought songs about Hitler and how all jews are evil in school, she legit thought all black people at least in Africa are cannibals and shit, my mother stillsays shit that would get her cancelled in the USA, and I will probably have a mixed race kid as we stand now.

This whole racism is an eternal problem is laughable and disingenuous and I am actually sorry for you that you feel like that.

Moving on. As for Dany, the “noble white girl sold to scary dark foreign man” is a very popular trope, especially in exploitation films, which Martin draws on much more heavily than most authors do.

No, he fucking doesn't. I already wrote a bunch of examples from the books you seeminly ignore willfully. First of all, she is sold to those olive skinned savages by a white man, who is a terrible, increadibly evil man. He want's to fuck the then 11-12 ish Dany so bad, she picks his slave most resembling her and rapes her repeatedly, "until the madness pass." He also maimes children and traines them as disposable slave spies by the hundreds. There is no boundaries colour here, GRRM prtrays all kinds of people as reprehensible, evil and disgusting. Just like you can find plenty of examples to the opposite.

What is he drawing from your exploitation movies exactly? He writes about the human anture, he writes about the human heart at war with itself, that's his central philosophy of writing.

ASOFAI is basically just a porn movie with complicated feudal politics obscuring it, which is probably why it worked so well as an HBO series (up until the last two seasons or so.)

There is no gratuitous sex scene in the books, the rapes are described as rapes, they are horrible, they are very shortly described and usually just alluded to.

The people commiting them are not put into generous lights and one of the single most harrowing stories hidden behind the grand happenings of the plot is a girl named Jeyne Poole, whose suffering although never shown, is very much pointed out, along with the hypocrisy of the people who only fight to try and save her, because they think her a different person.

Honestly, if you actually read the books and they came of to you as porn, you might want to do some soulsearching.Btw, the HBO series was a terrible adaptation, it immedietly started to go further and further from the books with every passing season and the showmakers made it very clear to everybody, that they didn't understand the very much pacifist and humanist themes of Martin. And neither did you.

We also get no indication Essos will eat it when Winter comes; hell, they seem to not know Winter exists, given the way people act, even though that is also unrealistic and weird.  Essos was just super badly designed, and Dany is a terribly boring character.

to be continued

[itsnebulous]

BOND THROUGH BANDS

Well I know when you're around ‘cause I know the sound I know the sound, of your heart... bzzz bzz bzz

I woke up by the annoying vibration of my alarm, I checked the time and good lord my alarm has been buzzing for about half an hour now! I don't remember snoozing it off but damn my train for London leaves in 20 minutes. My earphones are tangled all over my neck. I could literally hear my mum inside my head saying “You should not sleep with your earphones on Bailee!” I'm sorry mum but your loving daughter just did. I must have fallen asleep again while on my phone last night. It has become my habit now to pass out while scrolling through my socials, I mean that's just pure talent. Music is my thing but not in the way that I'm great at instruments. It's just that I love listening to bands.

As I hurry to the bathroom to take a shower, I tripped over my sketchbooks. I don't remember my flat being this messy. Dirty clothes are piling on the chair beside my disastrous closet, books are everywhere on the dusty carpet. The only thing in order are my shelves of books and music albums which is also now getting dusty. Surprisingly the kitchen area is clean, maybe because I am always out at the city to eat out with my classmates after school. I got out of the shower with ten minutes to spare. I have no time for my indecisiveness on what clothes to wear so I pulled off my go-to outfit. I tucked my favourite yellow sweater on my jeans and put on my worn out Converse then grabbed my coat that is hung on the back of my door before sprinting to the elevator.

As I got out on the streets, tourists are everywhere, typical for Brighton though even if it's freezing cold. But today is warmer, the sun is actually out which is very unusual for December. I'm almost near at the station when Lily texted me:

“BAILEE WHERE ARE U?!”

But before I can even type my answer, she called

“Sis the train is about to leave in two minutes” I can imagine with her tone how pissed she is at me.

“I’m almost there. I’m like twenty steps away”

“That better be not a lie”

“I swear it's not- and oh she already hang up”.

We made it to London without having a fight. She is already used to my shenanigans on my morning routines which always make me late. Lily is just pressed that I missed breakfast with her at the cafe.

“Why on Earth are you late this time my beloved friend? Bet you had your concert again while in the shower”, she said sarcastically.

“Oh stop it, you know I can't miss my singing ritual whilst in the shower”, I teased her.

“Also, I'm not late duh I made it exactly at 8 am”. Lily has always been the early bird kind of friend during meet ups and I am most certainly the buzzer beater type.

Roaming around the city of London is always my favourite. I have lived here three years ago when I first came to England yet every time I walk along its streets and pass by its shops, I keep falling in love like it's the first time. The telephone booths are still class even though no one uses it. Everything about this city is so aesthetic. Lily and I spent half of the day going through some of the places London is known for as if we are tourists.

“It's ridiculous that I've lived in London most of my life but still haven't ridden this until now". We are now inside a carriage on top of the London eye.

“ I can't say the same. I mean I lived here only a few years back and I even barely go out then but it's never too late to be a tourist you know”.

The view on top is amazing, cityscape and sunset is picture perfect. I just wish that I am seeing this with Matty right now if he hadn't left me. I guess this is it again, I have fallen on my whirlpool of grief that keeps dragging me down. It's been years but why didn't I learn to handle the pain.

2 years ago...

London street is busy as ever yet the holiday spirit is very alive. Every one on the city is on their layered coats as it is freezing cold. It's two more weeks until Christmas and the shops are all packed with those who are gift shopping. I am probably the most loneliest person in London because I actually have no one to celebrate Christmas with as I just moved. I have Lily and our friends but they’re all going home for the holidays.

Today is the last day of school before our Christmas break so we planned a night out at Winter Wonderland.

“Here's the thing Bailee, a Christmas holiday of a typical London resident wouldn't be complete without a night here", Millie said as we walk toward the entrance of the giant Christmas carnival. Millie is my street smart friend who always got my back the first time I got in London.

“Really?”, and as I ask this I confirmed what Millie just said, the place is crowded and sparkly with its lights. The people are in their high spirits as they are in queue for the rides. I could never be that person who is excited for the rides. Before I even know it, my friends are already in line calling me to join them.

“BAILEE AREN'T YOU GOING TO JOIN US?”, Josh screamed.

“ I'D RATHER WATCH YOU FROM HERE. I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.”, I answered. The music is getting loud now from what I hear from the people passing by is from the beer tent.

“ARE YOU SURE???” asked Lily looking concerned.

“YEAHHHH, MEET YOU AT THE BEER TENT MAYBE?”

I barely heard their answer but I'm sure I heard Millie say “oh she'll do just fine, she can manage now". Thanks Millie for your confidence but I am actually anxious going alone inside the beer tent. But I am eager to see what's going on in there because I can hear a band playing.

There's a reason why I never returned your calls I wish I could forget it all But I never returned your calls ‘Cause I'd fall again.

“Holy cow they are singing a Blossoms' song" , I whispered to myself out of excitement.

I made my way in front of the crowd. The people inside the tent are all chattery and loud but I could only hear the song playing, my favourite song. I caught the vocalist' attention maybe because of my aggressiveness to get in front. I got lost on his gaze, his deep blue eyes melted me, the curls of his hair is so soft. It is their last song to play. After they played, he went to sit beside me which is weird because we don't even know each other.

“Hi” he said shyly.

A cute band vocalist who is a stranger just talked to me, how am I supposed to reply. “Hello?”

“You sound so confused" he said giggling.

“Uhmmm yes? I am confused because a stranger who just sung my favourite song is talking to me out of context”, I blurted out.

“Oh I actually approached you because of your reaction while we were playing ‘your favourite song’ "

“Why so?”

“Because it's so obvious that you really like the song and you were the only one here who seems to appreciate it. Does it remind you of someone?”

“Honestly no, I just really love it. The tune, its lyrics is just perfect for me.”

“Guess we are the same then".

After my weird moment with that guy, my friends finally came to have a beer. Mr. Stranger was about to leave when I asked his name.

“It's Matty”

That's how Matty and I started. After that night, he invited me to watch shows and gigs. The drive back home is always my favourite. We take detours just to spend more time talking about each other with good music on the background.

“Cityscapes are just beautiful, aren't they?” I said while looking out the window.

“Not as beautiful and bright as you”

“Stop being so cute please”, that's the only reaction I could do with his smooth cheesy lines.

As months of hanging out together goes by, we fall deeper and deeper with each other. Matty gave my room a make over. Ever since I moved in London my flat doesn't look like home so he gave it an artistic touch. He painted the walls, built me a desk and shelves. We also hung posters of our favourite bands. After redecorating my room, it now feels home and cosy. He stayed until midnight so that we could listen to the new album of the 1975 together.

“I guess this could be our new jam then" he said with enthusiasm in his eyes.

“I love the idea", I answered.

I knew he was already sleepy when he said goodnight before driving back home. I didn't want him to drive anymore because it's already late but he insisted because he's worried about his sister so I let him.

“Call me when you get home ok? Drive safely”

“Ok I love you” he said.

I don't recall the next months after. It is as blurry as when my tears won't stop falling for him. Matty have left me. Matty never returned my calls not because he's scared of falling again for me. He never returned my calls because he's gone. How I wish we could've said our goodbyes. I should've said I love you too while I still can. But it is all too late now.

Matty is the reason why I moved to Brighton. Everything about London reminds me of him especially at this time. He once asked me to ride the London eye with him but I refused because I was scared and anxious.. What I did not know is could never see this view with him anymore. I should have said yes back then but my anxiety ate me. Up until now his memory still haunts me even in Brighton. I never had the courage to clean up my room because I keep remembering when he decorated my room. Now I can finally say that ‘There's a Reason Why (I Never Returned Your Calls) by Blossoms reminds me of someone.

Before I even get drowned by my whirlpool of grief, Lily brought me back to reality.

“Bailee are you alright?”

“Yeah I think I am"

I still find parts of you. In the corners of my bedroom. Someday comes too soon. The radio plays our favourite tune again.