#and stormbringer is mainly chuuya based and I'm thinking about his character a Lot

[starcollectorsilas]

something I feel like people miss while reading stormbringer is this line from the second chapter when Dazai and Verlaine met:

'Nevertheless, Dazai continued to slaughter his enemies and serve the Port Mafia in order to force himself into an even darker place.'

So, "why does Dazai stay in the mafia for so long?"

Because he wants to be in a bad place. He wants to commit these atrocities to further dehumanise himself. He wants to alienate himself and is determined to convince both himself and everyone around him that he is a terrible thing, the 'black wraith of the Port Mafia' who had no empathy or sense of humanity.

That's why he stays in the Mafia, that's why he works so hard in the Mafia, that's why he does what he's told. He's an automated killing machine capable of planning out and causing mass destruction, and his fuel is self-hatred.

He doesn't take pride in his 'accomplishments' in the mafia because, again, he doesn't actually want to succeed in the mafia, he wants to prove he's a bad person. He's not in the mafia to try and find a reason to live anymore, his reason for that is Chuuya, he's realised he's not going to find it in the mafia, even if he's not going to admit it until the dark era.

He probably feels a sense of guilt and disgust, but refuses to acknowledge it because he thinks that as something inhuman, he isn't meant to feel things like that, and the more he does, the further he removes himself from any sense of remorse, until he doesn't feel it any more, and probably still hasn't processed even in the ADA.

He stays in the mafia, and does the things he's told with such accuracy and deadliness because he thinks it's the only thing he can do, and he can use it to prove he's no longer human.