#anyway i'm rambling and i'm so underqualified for all of this but

[violexides]

the American education system needing to be improved and more accessible because as it stands a lot of people lack access to adequate schooling and it has the potential to address really important subjects and provide social support for people

coexists with the idea that societally we should not be trying to pull every piece of information from the American education system because it is not equipped even remotely to address the knowledge that can come from a person's individual lived experience nor provide the information (en masse) that goes against the state that created it.

this is something i thinka bout a lot and try to re-articulate a lot because i am resistant to answering the question "why are you only studying abolition now, through a university?" but i think a lot of things can come out of that line of questioning. because it's not just about academia it's about the people forming those communities to have those dialogues and that is key that is critical. but that doesn't negate the fact that we should have school as a starting place, and a meeting place, for all of that.

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

I need to wake up in like. 7 hours. but.

I did something important!!

I applied to a job at midnight today/this morning (*checks* yep, still today), because was still awake.

It's not a job we're actually directly qualified for. It's technically social work. Usually that requires a bachelor's degree, which we do not have. They also say 2+ years experience preferred.

But. they also say ‘but if you're close to qualified and you're BIPOC, LGBT+, or disabled, apply anyway. Quote, “consider your contributions to the community” as relevant experience.

So I applied anyway, and I wrote a cover letter explaining how fast food experience and Gendered Scouts and College Access Coach stuff was relevant and transferable. I was nice to myself in the cover letter, and I didn't minimize my abilities. And I got to be passionate, and even to include that I'm LGBT+ and disabled, and I said it's “encouraging” that they are not just inclusive, but inviting people like me to apply. I put a whole half an hour of work into it, didn't start with A.I. (I sometimes use it to give me a leaping off point/ideas rather than to write *for* me), just...let myself ramble a bit and share why I think I'm technically qualified.

At 3pm today, they called me back. I missed the first call because I was in the shower, but I immediately called back and left a (way more articulate than usual) voicemail that I was in the shower before bit was now waiting for a call back. They called about ten minutes later, asked if I had about half an hour to spend on a phone interview, I said yes.

did the interview. tried my best to not downplay my knowledge and skills. made what experience I could relevant. they even liked that I used an analogy to display that I understand the difference between equality and equity, which I was worried would come across as juvenile.

¡they liked me enough to want to schedule a second interview, which is now set for Tuesday at 9a (PST)! (/excited)

I thought there was no way I'd get the job because I'm just....so underqualified on paper, but the thing they really want and care about/are looking for is someone who understands equity, values diversity, and will take an open-minded, empathetic, and sensitive approach when engaging with underprivileged communities. I can do that. I enjoy that. I was able to show that I can do it, with semi eloquence.

& then afterwards they emailed me a calendar invite for the interview, along with (attached) all of the interview questions I have to worry about. I'll have three full days ahead of time to prepare. I'm good at preparing.

It's half office job, half driving people to important appointments & whatnot. It has a set schedule M-F, same hour block every day, reliable & predictable, and mostly sitting down. It inherently accommodates our physical disabilities.

and they actually like and appreciate that we're a little mentally disabled because it gives us an insight into working with fellow disabled folks. they actually wanted us more because we're disabled.

The job posting had a lot of green flags. But I was not expecting a phone interview 15 hours after applying, let alone a second interview because they liked me enough to send me to the fucken project manager (the important hiring person)??

Not only is their turnaround time fantastic, I am excited/surprised that I made it this far?? and I'm actually looking forward to the interview because they gave me all the questions, exactly written out as they'll be asked, 3 whole days ahead of time. I can prepare. ¡I can prepare! ¡I won't have to make up an answer in two minutes (and stumble like a fool when I know I'm competent & qualified)!

I also finally got the accommodation approval from my current corporation, so my GM who said there was “just no way” they could accommodate me was wrong and I'm happy about that. of course she'll be mad (she actually needs accommodations but wouldn't ask, it's basically ¿jealousy/envy I think?) but that's fine. it makes this job survivable in the short term, until I get hired at the better place.

Oh & it's a $4/hr raise from where I'm at. They pay biweekly, but ¡it's technically salaried too! I'd be making almost double what I make in fast food, and actually doing what I wanna do (helping people!!) and I just.

it'll probably suffice to say that I (a generally quiet, stressy depressy, Guard Dog, masc-ish vibe (in person)) squealed and giggled and danced around in a circle after the phone interview ended and I could celebrate that I made it this far.

not only did I apply when I wasn't sure I was qualified¹, I wrote a cover letter boldly saying I was in fact qualified, and I successfully did a very Mature Adult™, semi composed interview, and I did so well that I got to progress to the next step!!

I would never have done this just a couple of months ago. It's amazing to finally be here, breathing and thriving in the knowledge that I did a scary thing and it paid off (maybe even literally because I told them I want to be hired ASAP and I didn't mention I have a job right now because I kind of don't, haven't had a paycheck since March 29th²).

I can do hard things. ¡I can do hard things! ¡and the scary hard things can actually succeed! ¡scary things can lead to joy and relief!! 😭💜💖

(¹ as our (queer) best friend M said, “apply anyway. have the audacity of a mediocre cishet white man”)

(² because corporate stuck me on Unpaid Leave until they decided I was, in fact, Disabled Enough™ and Reasonable Enough™ to be accommodated)

~Nico