#anyway that said once again feel free to message me if you have any questions or are intersted in anything or just wanna pester me :3

[7thd00r]

//

decided to put the carrd aside and just do some basic tumblr pages for the mobile-friendly versions of my bios. got Susuro and Damien done, will probably do some others later.

i think i need to do some more demon research and maybe redo some things about aehonyx lol she's kinda generic/vague as far as like. actual demon stuff goes so i'm not sure.

also keep forgetting to bring my x-men version of her on but that's for a later time.

i have a lot of characters i'd be willing to rp but i just dunno if they'd have much success lol

also i am very aware that i should maybe change Gemini's real name bc ...I realize now that while just Having them as characters it's not really an issue to have two Damiens but ... it might be confusing for my partners if i do wind up writing them... sigh lol

[hannamoon143]

Hi I was wondering if you could do an IN x reader angst to comfort. Any plot is fine! I really need it but no pressure in writing it! <3 Thank you <3

Do you trust me?

pairings: bf jeongin x fem reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: anxiety, trust issues, kinda family issues, slight cursing once, crying,

a/n: @0omillo0 this is for you now <33, i just hope you are alright since you said u rlly needed this. take care of yourself luv, and feel free to talk to me.

Did you deserve this? The same question kept running in your mind over and over again.  Did you deserve these kind words? Did you deserve this grade? Did you deserve to feel what you were feeling? The answer was not sure for you. You wanted to believe yes, but deep down you felt like you didn’t. Why? That was a good question. Maybe it was from the trauma of your family. Your parents yelling at you for everything, punishing if you didn’t have perfect grades or made mistakes. Or maybe it was from your siblings who kept laughing at you, and calling you lazy. Or maybe from your friends, that changed often, because you seemed to not be able to hold friendships for long.

The truth was you didn’t know that either. You felt like you knew nothing to be honest. Years spent trying to find out who and what you wanted to be, wasted by other people saying you wouldn’t make it anyways. And where did everything get you?

You were sitting at the floor in your little apartment, pressing your palms to your eyes so you wouldn’t cry.You hated this feeling. But what you hated even more was that you thought it would work out this time.

Your best friend of now 2 years, Sarah, left you. And she didn’t let you slowly down, no she pretended like everything was perfectly fine, until one day she suddenly told people horrible things about you, making people whisper when you walked by, making them mock and laugh at you. At first you didn’t get it. You were confused when people whispered and chuckled when you walked by. That was until you saw a message in the anonym group of the town u lived in. There were most people your age in and someone had spread a horrible messagge about you. In the message was written that you were a drug dealer, and that you had something with the boyfriend of your best friend going on, and as if that wasn’t already horrible enough, there was something that hit u deeper. There was written that you sold drugs to your own siblings and that was why your parents kicked you out and that was why you were living alone now.

After that you knew who wrote that. You never told anyone randomly you lived alone. Tob e honest only two people really knew about this. Sarah and your boyfriend jeongin It wasn’t that common to entirely have broken the contact to your family in that age.

Of course all of the things written were lies. But the last thing… The reason you didn’t have any contact to your family anymore was that they were horrible. For years you excused their behaviour with things like „they also live for the first time“ and „everyone makes mistakes, i have to be strong for them.“ But one day you realized it wasn’t normal. How they’d yell at you for bad grades or make mistakes when you were just a kid. How they’d ignore you after.  And the worst was you once made the mistake to open up to them. You told them how you were feeling, and that you couldn’t keep living like that and your friends were all fake. They laughed at you. Said you were a child and had no right to say these things. Since you were met with these things so early it was always really hard to keep friendships working for you. You had bad trust issues, and you just weren’t able to believe someone really liked you, and you often cancelled meet ups, so you could rather study, or you were just too drained. So friends came and go. Over the years you just totally distanced yourself from everyone, because you didn’t want to trust anyone anymore. That was until you met two people. Your boyfriend jeongin and sarah. Actually you never understood why jeongin liked you. You were boring, were anxious and had trust issues and you were isolating yourself a lot. He liked to go on parties, you cancelled them. You loved spending cozy evenings with him. You sometimes watched movies or you were reading together, and always when one of you would like a sentence, a quote or even a whole page, then you would read it to each other. You remembered quiet nights, spent reading…

Your head was laying in his lap, a blanket wrapped around your body. You could feel his fingers gently brush through your hair, while you listened to his honey voice reading his favorite pages from the book he was reading to you.You closed your eyes, enjoying the moment. And sometimes when there would be a quote you related to, you would tell him your feelings, thoughts and story to it.

For you, things like that were enough. You loved quiet moments. Moments where nothing bad seemed to exist, where only the cozy quiet and jeongins voice reading pretty words was heard. And he said it was enough for him too, but you always were convinced that he wanted more. That he wanted to go to parties, to introduce you to his friends.

But for some reason he seemed to stay with you anyways.

And for sarah… everything seemed so perfect. Meeting with her was actually fun and also if you couldn’t quite talk about your feelings with her you still had fun. So you made the mistake and told her of your family and living situation.

So that was where it got you now. You shouldn’t have trusted someone again. You couldn’t make this mistake over and over again. Everyone was the same.

Your throat tightened and now you couldn’t hold your tears back. You sobbed, hugging your knees to your chest. Why were you always making the same mistakes over and over again. What were you supposed to do now. The whole little town thought you were a mean bitch now, but you didn’t have the money to move somewhere else. You felt like the ten year old child you once were again. Betrayed by already too many people, sitting in your small room, crying.

But after a while, you fell into a uncomfortable sleep on the cold, hard floor.

When you woke up you were sweaty. You had a nightmare and right after you heard your phone somewhere chiming. A bit confused you stood up, stomping your foot. „Ahh shit!“ you cursed, but you found your phone so you just sat down at the floor again looking at it.

12 missed calls from „Ayen💗✨“ 23 unread messages from „Ayen💗✨“

He must have seen the anonymous message now. You leaned your head against the wall, turning off your phone. Only the pale moonlight was lightning the room a bit, and you felt cold despite your sweatiness. You had a heavy headache from crying so much earlier. You tried to think of what do now. Should you just ignore jeongin? Maybe it would be the best for him. That thought was washed away when you heard a knock on your front door. No he couldn’t just come over. You just sat silently on the floor. Should you open? You sighed, standing up and slowly going to the door. You slide down to the floor, leaning to it. You realize your voice is hoarse when you say: „What are you doing here?“

„Y/n? Are you okay? Please let me in, i was so worried about you.“ He sounded relieved but desperate. You sighed, but kept quiet.

„Y/n please let’s just talk alright? I just want to know what that in the anonymous group was. I am not accusing you of anything, as i know you well enough to know you would never do any of those things. So please, let me in, i’m not here to judge, just to talk.“

You listened to his words. So he didn’t believe it. But no matter how sweet his words sounded, you just couldn’t trust anyone anymore. What if he would betray you like sarah did one day too? You didn’t see it coming, so why would you with jeongin. You finally decided to speak up. But it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

„I think we should break up.“

„…What? Y/n what are you talking about, are you serious?“ his voice grew more and more desperate. You kept being quiet, leaning your head to the door. Thankfully he couldn’t see the way tears were streaming down your pale face again.

„Y/n god please open the door, let’s talk, we can talk this out, please i promise i won’t ever judge you but don’t do this. Don’t break up with me in the middle of the night through a closed door, just because your scared. Let me in, and we‘ll talk about it, and then you sleep a night over it and you can think about it again. And if you want to really break up with me then, then okay, but not like this y/n…“

The worst thing was he knew you too well. He knew that you were doing this because you were scared. Scared of your future, scared of your problems, scared of ever trusting somebody again. It was selfish and not fair towards him. You knew that, but just ending things seemed easier, less painful. You wiped your tears away.

You slowly stood up, unlocking the door. Jeongin seemed relieved, and his eyes softened when he saw you. You realized you probably looked horrible. You had cried yourself to sleep, and forgotten to remove your mascara, and you were still wearing clothes from yesterday, and even in the dark lightning he could see your red puffy eyes, with the fresh tear streaks.

„Y/n…“ he softly said, and stepped in wrapping his arms around you. You didn’t move but also didn’t pull away. Actually it felt good. You didn’t notice how touch starved you were until now. Your body began to tremble, and warm tears rolled down your face again. You felt stupid for crying so much

„you know you can always talk to me right?“ he asked, pulling back a bit to look into your eyes. He lifted his hand, brushing the tears away with his thumb. You looked away, humming, because that was exactly the thing that got you here. That you thought you could talk to people, and trust them.

„I don’t want to talk now okay?“ you mumbled.

„Is it because of sarah? I know she wrote it in the group chat, one of my friends ist he admin and can see these things. Look, that’s horrible, and there is no excuse that could come up for what she did, or why she said that, but it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. And these people talking about you behind your back are just random people, believing everything on the internet. They don’t know you. But i do. Please don’t let this get to you“

You wanted to just do what he said. But you couldn’t. All the things on your past proved that it seemed to be your fault. Why else would things like this always happen to you?

„jeongin, it’s not that easy. I know you only wanna be nice and stuff but i don’t wanna tell you all this.“

„what? You think i’m „just being nice“? Seriously y/n? You should know i’m not just being nice. I never said it maybe but i love you. With my whole heart.“

You lift your head up. What? That was something you didn’t hear in a really long time. You weren’t even sure if someone ever said these three words to you. You didn’t remember your parents ever saying that, and your friendships were never lasting long enough for someone to actually say this.

„Do you trust me?“

What? You looked at him confused again. Why did he ask that? It was as if he saw right through you. Exactly the one thing u thought u would have to ban from your life. Trust. And your wonderful boyfriend asked for it.

„I- i don’t know i… i can’t, i want to but i-„ you stuttered,slowly, looking down. You were sure he was gonna be mad. I mean who wouldn’t trust their boyfriend right?

But he just smiled at you. A gentle, tender smile, that made you feel warm. He wasn’t gonna get mad?

„It’s alright love. You don’t have to answer right away. I know trust is something big for you to give, especially after this incident. But i’m ready to work for it. I will do everything to someday gain your trust. Just let me show you that there are trustworthy people. I will prove it to you. Let me love you and gain your trust y/n.“

What he said was beautiful. You didn’t quite know what to respond. Jeongin seemed to know what was going on in your mind, and he said the right things, in his tender, caring way. You couldn’t fully trust him immediately, but slowly, in little steps you would heal and build trust again. And you didn’t have to do it alone. But was he really willing to stay even though you would have to convince yourself that it was alright? Would he be patient for you? It was something that you couldn’t imagine in your mind. But he sounded serious about it.

Maybe you could give him and yourself one more chance. Maybe you could slowly gain confidence to trust someone fully again. Your mind was screaming against it, but your heart didn’t. Not at jeongin.

„Okay, and… i love you too“

„And even if you think it’s your last time trusting someone again y/n, it will last till forever falls apart. I won’t ever let you down“

Little did you know that time, that his words were meant entirely serious. And he kept his promise.

[wzrd-wheezes]

Carolling - James Potter x Reader

AN- so I had this idea at the start of december based on that tiktok trend that was going around but i kinda ran out of time to write it. I hope its not too late to post this! I was also thinking about doing a remus and sirius version but idk. Anyways! I hope you all had a lovely festive period <3

It was a silly idea, really. One that had come up many times on her phone as she scrolled mindlessly on her commute to work. James was usually the one behind the pranks but today she decided it was her turn. 

Her fingers tapped across the keys of her phone as she typed out the message to her boyfriend.  

“Are you free on the 20th Dec?” 

His response was almost immediate, albeit him being at work. 

“Think so lovey. Why?” 

She smiled to herself mischievously, already anticipating his outraged reaction when he read her next message.  

“I’ve signed us up for Christmas carolling x” 

Once again, James’s response was immediate. 

“What???” 

“Christmas carolling around the village. We’re in a group with 4 or 5 other people. Think we get our songbooks delivered tomorrow. Anyway, got to go – super busy at work. Love you!” 

She finished the message off quickly, revelling in the fact that James was likely stewing in confusion. Her phone pinged again. And again. She ignored it, knowing that in an hour or so her boyfriend would be bursting through the door with a million questions. 

James’s reaction had caught her off guard when he’d stumbled through the door an hour later than usual. 

“Sorry I’m back late, babe. Had to nip to the shop on the way home to pick up some essentials for our big night out!” He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth as he bustled into the kitchen, a large shopping bag in each hand. 

“Our big night out?” She repeated, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

“Yeah? The Christmas carolling? Did you not see my texts?” he started to rifle through the bags, “Mind you, you did say that you were busy at work so you might not have seen them. Not to worry though!” 

Y/N slipped her hand into her pocket and fished out her phone, quickly glancing at his messages.  

“Sounds amazing! Shame we don’t have our matching Christmas jumpers anymore :( “  

Below that, another one:  

“omg I'll go to the shop on my way home and get us new ones. Any preference on design?”  

And then a few minutes later, another one: 

“And matching hats too? Or is that too far...?” 

“Oh. Sorry, yeah I didn’t see them-”  

“Don't worry! Look at the jumpers I got us!” He pulled two brightly knit jumpers from one of the bags and chucked one towards her, “I didn’t know whether to just go with a Santa. You know, classic! But then I saw these-” 

“James, I-” She tried to interject. 

“Penguins!” he continued undeterred, “Look at them, babe! I just couldn’t resist!”  

“James, one second-” 

“I’m nearly done,” he chattered excitedly, “And then, you know how you said we were doing it in groups? Well, I bought a pack of six Santa hats so we can all match and then I thought, ‘what if we get cold?’ so I bought some disposable cups for everyone so we can make them all a hot chocolate. Oh! And i got some candy canes-” 

“James. I was joking.”  

For the first time in the twenty minutes he had been home, her boyfriend had stopped talking. He sat the pack of candy canes he had been showing her down on the counter, his brows furrowing a little. 

“Joking about what, love?” He cocked his head at her. 

“We’re not going carol singing. It was a joke. This trend has been going around online where girls tell their boyfriends that they’ve signed them up and the boyfriends always get confused and don’t want to go-” 

“Why would they not want to go? Sounds like a great activity to me...?”  

“Yes, because you’re lovely and now I feel bad.” She starred down at the floor, trying her best to avoid her boyfriend's eyes, “I didn’t think you would be up for it and I thought I'd just string you along for a bit and it would be funny and now you’ve made so much effort.” 

“Oh. Well, obviously I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t actually sign us up but we can still do it, can’t we?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like, we can just go carolling round at our friends houses. Seems a shame not to show off our new jumpers. Did you see that they have penguins on?” 

Y/N just smiled to herself, looking at her sweet boyfriend who was flitting about the kitchen as excited as a child on Christmas eve.  

[redhatmeg]

Project Tartarus - Chapter 6: Solitary, Part 2

Genre: Sci-fi, hurt/comfort, angst, prison life, superhero.

Rating: 16+

Warning: Solitary confinement.

Summary: Marvin learns couple of things about Doctor Kraken, especially during his conversation with Sally Sellers. Also: Literary tastes are disputed.

Let's be honest: you figured out very quickly who the voice from the toilet belonged to. If someone had looked at the previous chapters, they could have easily picked up on the most important clues, like Arthur's ID number, his familiar voice, or the fact that I was on bloody level U. It wasn't a very surprising plot twist.

Nevertheless, at that moment, Sellers' words made everything click into place in my head and I realized – with some disbelief and horror – that Arthur Augustus was none other than Doctor Kraken. And that was surprising to me because Arthur seemed normal, even friendly to some extent. His voice and personality didn't fit the tentacled supervillain who had barged into the canteen on my first day and supposedly wanted to destroy the world. These two personas seemed completely different to me.

But let's get back to that memorable stay in solitary confinement.

There was silence for a moment, although I listened very carefully, waiting for Doctor Kraken or Sellers to say something. I had a feeling that if I was caught, I would be in trouble (and besides, it was kind of embarrassing to listen to someone's conversation)... but curiosity got the better of me. In the back of my mind, I knew that a guard would appear with dinner at any moment, so I should be carefull.

Finally, Sellers spoke first:

“Doctor, I have a message from a mutual friend of ours.”

I heard a quiet laugh. I knew who it was and I regretted that I couldn't see his face. Then I could tell if it was mockery or just empty laughter. I expected a sarcastic remark to follow it after a moment. But Doctor Kraken said nothing. And Sellers continued:

“He says that she remembers working with you very fondly and regrets that he can't meet you under normal circumstances.”

There was silence again. Of course I wondered who this "mutual acquaintance" was. I suppose if I had looked into the subject of Doctor Kraken earlier, when I was still free, I would have had some idea, but it was too late for that now. All I could do was guess where this conversation was going.

I heard a sigh of resignation.

“Aren't you uncomfortable, Doctor?" Sellers asked suddenly. "Aren't you tired of all these failed escapes? We can't let you out of here, but we can make it more bearable. All you have to do is give us the information."

"And aren't you ashamed, Sally?" Doctor Kraken finally spoke. "Of running errands for someone like that?"

"This isn't about me, this is about you, Doctor. You're sick and you need help, but we can't help you unless you tell us-"

"If I'm sick, why am I not on level M?" The Doctor interjected.

"What's so strange about that? You wanted to destroy the Earth.” When Sellers said that, I immediately imagined her shrugging, although she was probably too professional for that gesture. “We can't risk it.”

“No. I know the real answer to my question very well: your masters are interested in only one thing, and they will stop at nothing to get it out of me.”

“There is no point in this bullheaded stubbornness, doctor. You will spend the rest of your life here anyway, and we can make conditions of your stay much better. All you have to do is tell us what we want to know.”

Once again, there was a moment of silence, which seemed longer than it actually was. Many questions were swirling in my head about who the "masters" my new acquaintance was talking about – was it just his old partner, or the warden of Tartarus himself, or maybe someone else I had no idea about? I was even tempted to ask for details after Sellers left, but I didn't think the Doctor and I knew each other well enough for him to confide in me.

Finally I heard Doctor Kraken's quiet voice:

“In that case, I have a message for my former partner. I would be grateful if you would be so kind as to pass it on, my dear Sally.”

“Yes, of course.” The administrator said, and I could hear something like expectation in her voice.

I myself was all ears. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but oh well, it was stronger than me. For the fourth time Doctor Kraken kept me and Sellers in suspense, silent for a moment.

“I believe in a great discovery.” He finally said, his voice quiet but clear.

This sentence seemed to make no sense to me at first.

“I believe in the man who will make the discovery.” Doctor Kraken continued.

I heard the sigh of frustration that must have come from Sellers.

“I believe in the terror of a man who makes a discovery.” Doctor Kraken continued, but the administrator interrupted him:

“This is childish, do you realize that?” Sellers asked, frustration still clear in her voice. But Doctor Kraken continued:

“I believe in the paleness of his face, in the nausea, in the cold sweat on his lip.”

“Okay, that's enough, Doctor.” She said with resignation.

“I believe in burning the notes, in burning them to ashes, in burning every single one.”

"Enough already," Sellers repeated, this time a little louder and sharper, like a frustrated parent to a naughty child.

"I believe in scattering numbers, in scattering them without regret..."

"I said: enough!" She screamed and her interlocutor fell silent immediately.

And then he laughed again under his breath.

I didn't know then what was the text that Doctor Kraken was treating the administrator to, but I guessed two things: 1) it was some kind of poem (maybe even a fragment of some play that I didn't know, because I got a D in literature) and 2) it wasn't the first time Sellers had asked him about something and Kraken had responded by reciting the text.

"That's not the whole message, but I think you know it by heart now, dear Sally."

"Unfortunately, yes. And I'm starting to really hate that poem."

So I thought correctly that it was a poem! But what did it mean? At the time, I didn't quite understand why Doctor Kraken was reciting that particular poem, but I was to hear it several more times in my life (and even that same day). I knew one thing: that poem had meaning for both the Doctor and his "former partner." I began to wonder what was going on here. Who wanted to learn something from Doctor Kraken, and what interested that person in particular?

“Both you and our mutual friend should have drawn your conclusions long ago. I suppose you lack reading comprehension. Which wouldn't surprise me at all, the education system is one big joke.”

“You're making a mistake, Doctor.”

“As I said: you can't make my life here any more miserable.”

I heard another sigh of resignation. And then Sellers said:

“I really don't want to do this, Doctor. I don't enjoy torturing you.”

“But you do it. Because your masters tell you to. As long as they have power over you, your hands are dirty.”

There was silence for a moment, and I wondered if Kraken's words had any effect on Sellers, or if she was so used to his games that they made no impression on her.

"There must be something you desire, Doctor. Something you yearn for that we can offer you."

"I desire only two things, my dear Sally: freedom and revenge. And you can't give me either of them."

"Well, then. We'll have to get it out of you by more brutal means. But that's none of my problem. Goodbye, Doctor."

"Goodbye, Sally."

Soon I heard her footsteps going back, and then the sound of the great doors opening up. I could hear her walking past, and though I had many questions for Doctor Kraken about this strange conversation, I didn't dare to speak while Sellers was still underground. Luckily, she soon passed the isolation cells and stood in front of the main entrance to level U. After using her card and verifying her identity via the computer, the entrance finally closed behind Sellers and silence fell.

But then I heard the door open again and the sound of another footsteps echoed down the corridor. They slowly grew louder, filling me with anxiety. Suddenly they stopped. And then there was a grinding sound – a window in one of the isolation cells opened and I heard a voice that I immediately recognized as Sol's.

"Finally."

He sounded irritated, but that’s about it. However, I suspected that – like me recently – he didn't feel too good in the solitary confinement. Although maybe for him it was a picnic – he finally didn't have to deal with the Earth scums. Or maybe he had been here so many times that he had gotten used to certain things and was able to pretend that the loneliness didn't bother him.

"Do you want a book?" asked another familiar voice.

“Wells' War of the Worlds.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I'd like to have a laugh.”

“Finish your food in thirty minutes. Then we'll get the tray.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know how it works.”

The gride of the window closing again. And then the footsteps started to echo down the hallway again, until they finally stopped right in front of my isolation cell. Soon the window opened and I saw Jackson's face, who passed me a small tray with a fork, a bottle of water, and a not-so-appetizing-looking bowl of mac and cheese.

“Thanks.” I replied shortly and took the tray.

I put it on the bed, and Jackson asked:

“Do you want a book?”

I thought about it. After all, in all this commotion with the voice from the toilet, Doctor Kraken, and Sellers, I didn't have time to think of something to read. So only one thing came to mind:

“Yeah, there's a collection of Plato's dialogues in my cell. Could you bring it to me? You don't even have to go in. Just ask Luca and he'll give it to you.”

Jackson looked at me with undisguised irritation, but then he softened.

"I'll ask your guard. I'll be back in thirty minutes to get the tray."

And he closed the window. As he started to walk away, I sat down on the bed, put the tray on my lap, and began to eat. Despite being hungry, I ate slowly and without much appetite. I'd never been a big fan of mac and cheese, and the prison stuff was like a yellow mush with tubes sticking out of it. I thought to myself that I could definitely force in me in thirty minutes, and the water would help with digestion.

A voice suddenly spoke from the toilet.

“Plato, huh?”

“A gift from the teacher.” I explained. “But I usually only read the Apology of Socrates. And maybe the Symposium. Everything else messes with my brain. I've approached the Phaedo about ten times.”

“Tell me more about this teacher. I wonder why Plato.”

I swallowed another bite of mac and cheese and considered whether I should share such things with a stranger... or maybe not so much with a stranger as with a famous supervillain who supposedly wanted to destroy the world. After a while, however, I realized something: he had his questions, I had mine. I could offer to exchange information with him. However, the question arose whether I should even tell someone like that about myself.

However, I thought that I only knew one, rather superficial version of events. After all, I myself knew that crime is the culmination of a series of misfortunes. Besides, I didn't have much to do anyway.

"Can I ask you something, Doctor Kraken?" I began.

"You can ask, but I reserve the right not to answer the question. I don't know you very well."

I already knew that there would have to be a plan.

"That's exactly why I wanted to propose an exchange: I'll answer your questions, and you'll answer mine. Then we'll decide if we can trust each other."

"Yes, that sounds fair. Let me start."

I wasn't convinced by the idea, but I didn't say anything. However, my silence must have been telling, because a moment later I heard the voice from the toilet again:

"It's a formality. You already know my name: Arthur Augustus, but I don't know yours, boy, and I'd like to know who I'm talking to."

That was understandable, but I was still on my guard. I preferred not to tell him my full name. I considered giving my second, much more common name, Peter, or coming up with a pseudonym on the spot… but then I realized that he already knew my ID number. If he hacked into the database and entered the number, he would find out everything about me anyway. It was too late for certain precautions.

"Marvin." I finally said, although I had a feeling I was making a mistake.

"Thank you. I won't have to call you "boy," which would probably save us both a lto of irritation. Now it's time for your question, Marvin."

I thought about it for a moment. I considered going straight to the "mutual friend" thing, but I had a feeling that it was a bit too early for such a serious question and Doctor Kraken wouldn't be inclined to answer any further.

"How do we talk to each other?" The question seemed innocent enough, but I was still curious. "I know there must be some kind of device here, but how did you manage to install it?"

“That's actually two questions, but I'll treat them as one.” He said. “I put the bugs in a few of the isolation cells, when I still had a little more freedom and managed to get the right parts.”

“More freedom?” I asked.

“Yes, for some time now, certain precautions have been taken to limit my room to maneuver. Specifically, they've tied my hands, legs, and tentacles.”

A vision of Doctor Kraken chained by all his limbs to a wall in a medieval dungeon appeared before my eyes. I didn't realize at the time that I was quite close.

“But a few months ago,” He continued. “my cell was more like the solitary you're in now, but a bit larger. It took me a long time to get the parts, but I managed to build four bugs, put three of them in the other isolation cells, and hide one on myself. And now we're talking.”

“Why? Why put any bugs at all?”

“As I mentioned, boredom here can be dangerous. I apologize for overstepping your right to privacy. In my defense, I can only say that I was hoping that this would be an opportunity to talk to another person. And to someone who is a prisoner, like me, and not a guard.”

After a moment, I remembered that our conversation had started in a very natural way: I started thinking out loud about what book to choose, and Doctor Kraken took up the subject. What's more, he later helped me with a panic attack. And although he was partly to blame for the attack, I was glad that there was someone who could calm me down. I realized that I, too, preferred to have a companion to talk to.

Nevertheless, there was one thing that was bothering me.

“Why me?”

I had the impression that the answer to this question would depend on our future relationship. I had to find out why he had spoken to me.

“You mentioned that you didn't want to read War and Peace. You caught my attention. It can be very interesting what books people read or don't read.”

I agreed with him, because truth be told, it could be applied to other things as well. The fact that Luca liked animal shows, that my old commander played FPS games, that apparently Doctor Kraken himself liked to recite poems – all of this was interesting in itself. And somehow it spoke volumes about the other person. Not necessarily about their intelligence or emotional development, but about something for sure.

“So I would like to return to my first question.” Doctor Kraken spoke again. “Why did your teacher gift you in Plato specifically?”

I wondered for a moment if I wanted to answer this question, especially since we were entering very personal territory. I came to the conclusion that I did not need to go into details.

“It's just that my teacher, Mr. Schlegel, thought that I could understand something from it. He probably misjudged my abilities a bit.’

“No, I don't think so. You like the Apology of Socrates. I think you have a great taste.”

My heart warmed and my face flushed. However, I quickly regained control, because I thought that Doctor Kraken was trying to influence me somehow. I knew too well how easy it was to manipulate someone who had low self-esteem.

“Now it's my turn.” I said. “While we’re on the subject of literature, what was that you were reciting to Sellers?”

“Oh, that?” He asked nonchalantly. “Just a little joke. When I was still working at-“ He stopped, then added more seriously: “When I was still an ordinary scientist, I often thought about it. And then… then that poem took on a new meaning for me.”

I was about to ask: “Why? What happened?”, but after a moment I realized that it had to have something to do with the tentacles growing from Doctor Kraken’s back. I won’t deny that I wanted to know the story, and besides, before Sellers came, he was already about to tell me how he ended up here.

“Excuse my egocentrism, but what have you heard about me, Marvin?”

I was surprised by the question, but I was even glad that he asked it. It could have been a starting point for my questions.

“Until today, only that you wanted to destroy the world. And that you keep trying to escape, but you fail. I haven't followed your criminal career very closely. And now I find out that you and Sellers have a mutual acquaintance and that he wants to learn something from you.”

"I see." Doctor Kraken replied shortly, and there was silence between us for a moment. Finally, he broke it: "You probably have a lot of questions about what just happened."

Yes, I did. But whenever I wanted to ask one of them, Sellers' voice rang in my head: I really don't want to do this, Doctor. I don't enjoy torturing you. And then the image of Sellers standing over the web with Doctor Kraken under it, watching the guards electrocute him, came to my mind. I remembered how sorry I felt for him then, and how the sight had shaken me. In the face of all this, the only question that came to my mind was:

"Did you really want to destroy the world?"

I had the impression that this was the most important question I could ask at the time. The answer to this question determined whether I should feel sorry for him. Because despite everything, some part of me felt sorry for him – for him being locked here, for him being tied up, for him being electrocuted, and several times at that. I wanted to believe that it was a misunderstanding… but I also wanted to be sure, once and for all, whether I was dealing with a psycho.

"Well," Doctor Kraken began after a short moment of silence. "In a way, someone is always destroying the world. Usually slowly, more or less consciously."

That didn't sound very encouraging.

"You didn't answer my question."

"And I'd rather not answer. At least not right at the moment. I should probably say now that it's all untrue, or that it was an accident. But there's no point in lying. And I'd really rather be honest with you, Marvin. Maybe I'll explain everything to you someday, because I'd like someone to know what I was thinking back then… but not today. I'm not ready for that today. And maybe you're not either."

That answer wasn't very satisfying. But another question was already swirling in my head.

"If you ran away," I began, "would you try to destroy the Earth again?"

"No," He laughed. "I have a completely different plan."

But before he could say anything more, the window to my cell opened and I saw Jackson. I realized then that I hadn't finished my dinner yet. In truth, I couldn't believe I'd been talking to Doctor Kraken for half an hour.

"Time's up," The guard stated dispassionately. "I have to take the tray, but I have your book."

I figured I wasn't hungry anyway. So I got up and swapped the tray for my Plato. I only kept a bottle of water.

"Curfew will start in three hours," Jackson stated.

After a moment, the window closed and I lied down on the bed, ready to read. However, as soon as I opened the book, my desire to read disappeared. I knew that was because I wasn't completely alone.

“I guess there's no point in asking you to read to me?” The voice from the toilet asked. “It's been so long since I held a book in my hands... I'd rather not be alone with my thoughts.”

I thought about it for a moment.

“Okay.”

You may think I'm too soft-hearted or too impressionable, but the truth is that the silence would get to me too. So for the next two or three hours (and not without problems, because from time to time I would pronounce something incorrectly) I read Plato's Symposium aloud to my invisible guest. During that time it was even nice, as if we were not staying in prison, but at some summer camp.

Somewhere when Socrates was halfway through delivering a speech on the nature of Eros, the lights went out. I put the book on the floor in front of the bed and prepared to sleep.

"I have one more request, Marvin," The voice from the toilet said in the darkness. "I could have thought of it when the light was still on-"

Suddenly I heard him let out a scream. A sharp scream of pain that jerked me to my feet.

"What's going on?"

"It's nothing-" Doctor Kraken began, but immediately let out another scream of pain, this time louder. Breathing with difficulty, he continued: "It's... it's nothing, but listen to me, boy. Find the bug and turn it off. It should be somewhere behind the toilet.”

I sat down on the floor and started running my fingers through the ground around the toilet, then the toilet itself. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, but I knew it would stand out somehow. Meanwhile, another painful cry came from the bug itself, but then I heard something else, a quiet, hiss-like whisper:

"I believe in the great discovery./I believe in the man who will make the discovery..."

This time the scream was so loud that I heard it both from the bug and from behind the large door that Sellers had gone through earlier. (From now on, I'll be writing "Argh!" every time Doctor Kraken screams. This onomatopoeia doesn't convey the horror of those screams and the drama of the situation will probably suffer, but it will be much easier for me to write.)

"Quick, find that damn bug," Doctor Kraken said through clenched teeth, then continued his earlier recitation, but this time he was a bit quicker: "I believe in the terror of a man who makes a discovery./I believe in the paleness of his face, in the nausea,/in the cold sweat on his lip... Argh! I believe in burning the notes, in burning them to ashes... Argh!"

"Is that a bug doing this? Is there some kind of short circuit?" I asked, this time running my fingers over the top of the toilet.

Doctor Kraken took a deep breath and replied:

"No, that's actually... Argh! That's Sellers' doing. You have to turn off the bug."

"Does Sellers know about it?" I still didn't fully understand what was happening.

“No... or at least I don't think so... Argh! This... this is a punishment for what happened earlier. Quick, boy, turn off this bug.” And he quickly returned to reciting: “I believe in the scattering of numbers, / in scattering them without regret...”

Finally, my hand came across something round and small. I grabbed it and pulled it out to take a closer look. In the darkness I could see a device the size of a school eraser with a few wires and a small microphone.

“I found it.” I announced.

“Great... Argh! There should be a small button the size of a fingernail at the bottom. Press it. Argh! “Doctor Kraken took a deep breath, as if trying to calm down. Only after a short moment of silence did he begin to speak in a whisper: “I believe in a man's haste,/in the precision of his movements,/in his free will... Argh!”

I managed to feel the button, but for now I just kept my finger on it.

“I believe in breaking the tablets,/in pouring out the liquids,/in extinguishing the flame... Argh!”

Although Doctor Kraken's screams froze my blood and I would rather not hear them, I was reluctant to turn off the bug. As if something was forbidding me to disconnect, because it was not right...

Meanwhile, Kraken himself was breathing with increasing effort, but he did not stop reciting the poem:

“I claim... I claim that it will work/and that... that it will not be too late... Argh! And... and the thing will take place in the absence of witnesses. Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”

After a moment, I understood why I had not turned off the bug yet. I wanted to hear this poem to the end.

“N-nobody will find out, I am sure of it,/not a wife... Aaaargh! Not the wall.../Not even... Aaargh! Not even a bird for it might sing…”

It slowly dawned on me what it was really about. And that also put Doctor Kraken in a slightly different light. Especially when he got to this fragment:

“I believe… I believe in an unplaced hand,/I believe in a ruined career… Argh! I believe in the wasted work of many years.… Argh! I believe in a secret taken to the grave… Aaaaaaaargh!

This wasn't a poem about someone who wanted to destroy the world. It was an expression of regret. Although the last lines gave it a certain ambiguity:

“These words above soar… soar… above the rules./They seek no support in any… any examples… Argh! My faith is strong, blind and… and without foundation.”

There was silence, in which I could only hear the Kraken's heavy breathing.

“What are you waiting for, boy? Turn off that damned bug.”

“No.” I said and grabbed the device with both hands.

“Do... do it, because you have a long and tiring night ahead of you. Argh! Turn off this bug.”

“No.” I said and placed the device in my hand. I wrapped it protectively in my hands and laid down on the bed, only to add immediately: “I won't leave you alone, Arthur.”

He said nothing to that, and I didn't know if he was moved or irritated. I heard only another scream of pain, and then...

“I believe in a great discovery...”

---------

(Please review! @faithful-grigori @katniss-evermeme @instrumomentum @nkvictory @carbonitekenobi @stavarosthearcane )

[thelreads]

Huh, I said I was going to ramble about my wip before then a whole lot of life happened and I promptly forgot about it. Well, not today, I say as I coordinate the testing of a loading bay for an inflammable fluid. Time to actually be annoying and scream into the void because I haven't had the energy to write in two weeks and I feel I'll explode if I don't.

I'll probably explode regardless but that's not important. But regardless feel free to ignore the massive wall of text that is about to follow.

...

This is a bit harder than I expected. Talking about something I have so clearly in my head and has lived there for the past 5 years is not as easy, especially when I rarely ever speak about it.

Huh, maybe I should start with the influences that lead me to write this, besides the angry prophetic messages from God I suppose.

Star vs the forces of evil. The first thing that comes to mind is Star vs the forces of evil. No joke, the first thing I wrote on the brainstorm was because Svtfoe had a concept that grasped me immediately, the idea of royalty having to crash on a commoner's house where they become friends and fall in love. That was insane, the potential it had was unparalleled, there was so many stories that could sprout from that alone, and I suppose that's where i began writing.

Sure, the initial idea was that, but the similarities didn't ran that far besides surface level. Things like non-human princess and somewhat grumpy, on the safe side human pairing non-withstanding. Well I suppose I could consider that the boy is also the equivalent of latin mixed? But that doesn't match, he's closer to Miles morales in that aspect, with a black father and a brown skinned mother. Also the girl isn't even blonde.

Speaking of which, you know something that always annoyed me in Darling in the Franxx? Besides the obvious that is. The fact 02 wasn't red. Like, c'mon man! Yes yes she wanted to look more human so she could find hiro, and all that, but nobody has any reason to actually exclude her for not being human. She is a person for all intents and purposes, even with her horns. They could easily driven the nail home about how no matter how much she tries to act and behave human, nobody will actually see her as one because she can't change how she was born, and then the story could make a point how the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant, and she doesn't need to be human to be loved and accepted by her friends.

I got into a bit of a tangent there, but it has a point I swear. What I mean is that when I was writing my wip this hang-up was still present, and I made the princess in question really not human. I went with half blood between human and dragon, in a world where Dragons are shapeshifters capable of becoming human. So I had to straddle the line between human and not human with details that could be easy to hide, but once known about couldn't be ignored anymore, things like sharp teeth, eyes with vertical pupils, slightly scaly skin and short but sharp nails, a tail, all things that one could hide with a piece of clothing or two, and then I made her albino, just to capitalize on that point I thought about Darling in the Franxx a few lines above. Considering we're talking about someone who came from a desert nation akin to Ancient Babylon or Egypt, since a great river is involved in there, having someone albino immediately outs them. I couldn't make her red since there are actually half bloods that are red, and they are between Humans and Sirens, but I digress. And I'll digress again saying that make her albino plays into the fact she's pretty much a ghost in the beginning of the story, almost never been seeing, but her mournful presence being felt by everyone.

Anyway, she I already had a general grasp, then came the human counterpart, who in looks I already could imagine, besides the hair that is, which is something that to this day I'm still uncertain about. No the personality was where I had to tweak. I wanted someone that was serious and dignified, the son of a proud and important family that was admired by all and looked confident in front of others but actually had a deep hole of insecurity in his chest. It's pretty funny that I realized later on when I started reading SxF that I accidentally predicted Damian.

Anyway. The plot. Like I said, I really liked the idea of forcing the situation where those two personalities need to inhabit the same place. I went with political conflict due to her inheriting the throne causing a civil war and forcing her to escape, and her parents sending her to the house of an old friend away from all that, which of course is the boy's father.

Well, now that I say inheriting I realize it isn't exactly like that, since I've made her homeland an Elective monarchy, where being the child of the current ruler won't necessarily make you the next ruler if you're not the best candidate. Also, I didn't want to make the story medieval, but I also didn't want a contemporary setting, so I settled with the middle ground of a Victorian-like scenario, which now that I think about is completely irrelevant since it's a written story, not a visual one, but I used it more as reference for technology than anything else.

My disdain for the world in this previous paragraph is a bit ironic considering that the world is the main antagonist in this case. The story about those two and all the other characters was about how they can't stand against the passage of time and change, and they need to adapt and survive the things that the world send their way or be swept by the riptide and drown. The world is too vast and complex, small ripples due to someone's action lead to unforseen catastrophes down the line and nobody is at fault, nobody can predict what's going to happen. The world is uncaring about them, so that's why it's important that they care about each other.

And they better do because I was bent on ripping them of everything they loved at any given opportunity.

You know, I started writing this shortly before COVID. And back then I already knew that a canon event in the backstory that would deeply affect everyone involved was a respiratory plague that killed a lot of people, and the ones that did survive ended up with lasting effects. whoops.

The other two characters in the story were actually survivors on both sides: one who lost his parents due to the disease, and the other who almost died and ended up with respiratory problems because of that, but yet she smokes due to self-loathing and self-destructive tendencies. Both of them are in love with the same guy, the insecure boy, and with each other as well, so it's a true love triangle with each of the people involved being in love but not being able to be with each other due to personal problems.

Also those two are extremely toxic childhood friends who feel only them are deserving of his love, so they keep anyone who's interested in him away with underhanded tactics. They are also my favorite characters simply due to the fact they act this horribly. Two people that feel nobody could love them clinging to the one person they feel is so much above them because perhaps he could accept them for their flaws, but the fact they worship and idolize him to the point of not caring about his actual feelings is what pushes them apart.

Lovely stuff. They could've been an OT3 in another universe.

Good lord did I ramble. Well, it was either this or staring at the blank page because I didn't had energy to write the story. Or do much of anything really. I might need a cup of coffee to see if it helps with at least rambling a bit more later on. If I'm not going to write I'll at least make it other people's problems as well.

[j1nx25]

Some things about me:

Im 19 and im in a university :3 im biromantic, and i have adhd(the inattentive type). Having adhd can come with pros and cons. The cons being I have difficulty with social cues, not understanding things, and forget some things here and there. if someone said a joke I wouldn’t get it and so on. If someone were to tease me I’d read it wrong and think I’d be insulted, when that wouldn’t really be the matter. The pro would be focusing on one thing and it turns out amazing. I also suck at multitasking, like if I were playing a game and someone was talking to me I would find it a bit hard to talk and game at the same time but I try anyways cuz I don’t want to come off as rude.

I love to draw, I’m obsessed with foxes, I like to watch all the Harry Potter movies once a year ever October, my birthday is October 12th, I watch once upon a time once a year as well, those lovely rituals make me happy ✨. I love the owl house, I went a little into doctor who then lost interest in continuing watching the show, I’m into a lot of fandoms that I’m still interested in and want to stay in like creepypasta, batim, batimdr, fnaf, etc. I also like furries! I love furries ✨

Rn I’m currently on my winter break from school but I’ll return later on in January 26th or the 25th. I hope what I’ve posted brings interest, and what I’d like to do hopefully, is that people will ask questions and I can draw my ocs answering those questions if people are interested in their story bit. Kind of like how I’ve seen when it comes to people asking “hey pinkie how come your hair is flat” stuff like that if that makes sense. I wanna at least try it out so it gives me something to do and it could be fun :3 so, feel free to ask Stitcher anything you want he won’t mind answering questions, or any oc I post they wouldn’t mind answering questions since I will be posting my ocs here. :3

Right, before I forget lemme add this:

These are my DNIs

Proshipping(I’m sure you’re all aware of this but to some people who don’t it’s when you’re shipping illegal things like a child and an adult together or 1nc3$t etc stuff like that, I won’t interact and I’ll block u)

Z00ph1ia(just no. Like no. I love animals, and if you’re like that I will never interact with you and I will block u immediately. And lemme explain something else. Z00philia is where your attracted to an animal that can’t think for itself, can’t consent etc u see where I’m going with this. And people confuse it with furries. Lemme say smth: zoophilia is beastiality, furries are the complete opposite of that. Furries are anthropomorphic animals that can walk like humans, talk like humans, think like humans, consent like humans, pretty much do everything a human can to clear things up. I support furries 100% but not zoophilias.)

Creeps.(I’ll explain: if you’re stalking my pages, sending me messages that feel like red flags to me 100%, repeatedly following and unfollowing me, etc, I’m blocking u with no hesitation from experience and I don’t wanna experience that again no thank you)

Homophobia(I’m gonna have HEAVY HEAVY lgbtq stuff on here including pins and so on, if I see a single homophobic comment I’m gonna block u, and delete your comment because I’m not gonna tolerate it. By now many of u are grown like me and if u don’t like it just go, you don’t have to interact saying “why aren’t they straight” it’s my oc I decide what their sexuality is 😭, and lgbtq needs to be represented more hence why I’ll be posting lgbtq stuff with my ocs)

Transphobic(the same thing goes for those that are transphobic: block, delete, it’s disrespectful and I won’t tolerate it and trans people deserve more recognition and representation since their apart of the lgbtq community)

Toxicity and hate(I hate toxicity, I hate hateful speeches, I hate hate comments, I hate death threats, if someone makes a nice comment on my page and someone is being a jerk to them imma block u, snd delete your hate comments cuz why u gotta wake up and be spreading hate like get no. No one wants the hate no one deserves to get hated on just cuz someone likes an oc’s design or story etc).

Pedophilia and gr00ming (ik im 19, but it’s still gross. From experience as a once minor now a young adult i still find it disgusting. As a young adult who knows better than to do that, i dont wanna ever be like this ever. I dont interact with a lot of minors, and i never wanna come off as uncomfortable with anyone or strange or weird. Im aware of the boundaries i set for myself and minors. Yes I will be friendly if i ever come across a minor but not like that that. If that makes sense idk if this makes sense but hopefully this makes sense. Anyways, if I see weird comments if I ever post a child oc, which will be very rare since I post adult ocs, imma block u. Cuz that’s a child oc. Don’t comment that stuff on my post imma block u and delete your comment. It’s disgusting. As a used to be minor, I do have friends that are still minors but going to be an adult so I have a good age group of who to interact with and who I shouldn’t).

I think that’s all the DNIs? Unless there’s more in my head I’ll type more on it.

[tsukkinami]

Okay, so I'm breaking tumblr protocol here, and I apologize in advance for that. Anyways, I just slid onto you several month old response to an ask about Astarion, you blocked me. I'm messaging from an alt because I was on my way to leave another comment apologizing for sliding onto a six month old post to poke at things. I was genuinely curious as to what you were talking about in your latest post in the main tag. (Because he is a shit head, you aren't wrong.) And did actually want to know if I missed something. It wasn't me being facetious when I asked if it was referring to another post, it probably came off that way. But also it was pointless and out of line to engage at all. And probably quite repetitive for you. So sorry, feel free to block this account too, or not answer, or whatever. It was just going to nag me for like, the whole week if I didn't say something, since I was already planning too.

pretty sure did not block you since the OG ask from what i can see was anonymous, as is this one.

to clarify, in my original post i said he was a bad romance option. this is because there's a decent number of approval tasks you can/need to do to secure him that are questionable morally. things such as:

poking Nettie's bird to death

killing kahga

tricking and betraying the tieflings that capture laezel

opening the gate for the raiders

using the tadpole against brynna

killing or letting him kill the gurr

dealing with the hag

aiding minthara

betraying the tiefling camp

among other things in act 1. granted this is not an exhaustive list and you Might be able to get his approval without doing any of these things, but the fact that you can and it's super helpful is what bothers me and makes me dislike him

the truth of this situation is that i do not care what people think of astarion, i just think he sucks (pun intended) to romance and its funny to me that when i say that i invariably have people come to tell me that my opinion is wrong.

in my multiple playthroughs, when i play the way i want to, he always rejects my tav. it is only when i lean into the discomforting and, to me, offputting actions (not my thing for games i play for fun) that i get on the right track with him. highly emphasizing here that this is My experience.

beyond Act 1, there is an entirely other conversation to be had around him as a romantic partner. he is power hungry and his relationships feature that power inbalance (i don't have time or energy to get into how i actually think that for some people this could be a positive thing because it's a safe way to explore relationships like that without consequence) and pressure around letting him feed and grow more powerful from the tadpole.

the part about astarion's whole thing to me—his character, the response he received from the fandom, his widespread popularity with women mostly—is that i have rarely seen anyone actually dissecting this aspect of forging the romance with him. they see a smooth talking, sexy vampire and that's all they need. but it seems that when you deign to look closer, at the actual steps you can take to get to a point where he approves of you are not exclusively made up of "being a goody two shoes" as someone else put it. it warrants a deeper look that i just do not see anyone who claims to like him taking the time to do

would like to once again Heavily emphasize that this is an opinion and i genuinely Don't care what other people think of Astarion Baldrusgate

[opal-kitty333]

Power came back, and I saw my doctor today. She said I'm probably about halfway to the point point of being able to work at best and that I need another two weeks of at least. Going a lil stir crazy without my usual routine, so a bit disappointing to hear but I'm listening to my doc for my own health. I am noticebly more rambly, sassy, and a bit moody. I'm not sure how that may or may affect my writing, but I feel ready to start again.

As I said, I'm rambly, so I'm putting a read more with explainations on what I plan to do with writing and why.

I'm still not going to be having a new chapter for a while, but I may go back and do some edits to what's already written. Editing things that I retconned will be my biggest priority (like the reader starting things in their room, then living room, and then having a studio apartment). In generally, I'll be smoothing over details and ensuring everything flows well without typos or clunk scentances, but the major events should be unchanged.

I'll definitely make a post once I've gone through everything. If you've been reading since the first first chapter and haven't reread at all, I'll definitely recommend rereading once I've done that. The first chapter, being the oldest, has seen the most changes, and I know I already changed the ending lines once. The most recent being 8,000 words is likely to see some changes just because it hasn't gotten the rereading the following days after it was posted the other chapter have.

In general, I consider all of the chapters to be living and prone to changes at any time. Again, major events won't change, but phrasing and wording will. This is just a part of my process, so sorry if that annoys you, it won't change.

Anyway, if you've read this far, thank you for listening to my chatter. Feel free to message me or send me asks if you want to talk or have questions about me or my fic.

[depraved-gf]

Can I vent? Imma vent. I think you might appreciate the change of all sex stuff. Maybe.

So this is a very old wound, but it still bleeds every now and then. Back ground, I was the weird kid at school. I've always been kind of a loner. And I've always wanted my own "Tumblr girl" story. I met a girl on here and we just clicked. We became best friends, wed talk on a daily basis and spent around 6 hours on the phone once. I fell deeply in love got her, and I will admit; what happened next was completely my fault. I was selfish and dumb, I wanted my romantic version of her to be real and fall for me. I told her I liked her and she didn't like it, she Also had a boyfriend back then. Said we had never met. Oh, yes. That's right. Forgot to mention that. I lived in Mexico, and she was from the UK. Anyway, back then I would use Tumblr a lot more. And had my private blog where I would vent. I had a shit load of posts about her, might have been a tad bit obsessed. But being a Scorpio thats kinda like it is. Well, she somehow found it and freaked out. She asked me to never talk to her again and we'll; we talked about it and tried to fix things but the damage was done and she didn't want anything else to do with me. One year later she blocked me on every social media and her phone. My world came crashing in, and even tho I could have made other accounts and stalk her, I knew she didn't want that. So I didn't. I dealt with my anxiety on my own. How could someone who had seen how much they meant to me, do that? A few years passed and she sent me a message through xbox (we used to play for hours together). She asked me why I had done all of those things. When she sent me that message I had my head in a whole different space, and I missed the message. Could I have fixed things? (Should I also mention she used to read my erotic stories? The last story I gave her to read was one that was CNC, kinda hardcore.) She ended up blocking me because I insisted on being friends. There was a lot I could have done differently. But yeah. That. low key, Still wish she sends me another message one day.

I wanna let you have this space to vent. I hear you and I see you <3 If you need advice or an unbiased perspective, I'm gonna give it below, but feel free to ignore if you just needed that space. :)

--------

The answer to your question? Maybe. Maybe you could've fixed things, and maybe she'll reach out again. There's really no telling since we can't read her mind.

If she sent you a message years later even asking for clarification, she might pop up again one day. But it's most important that you let her have that space to come back if/when she wants. If you were a little pushy or insistent, along with having a private blog about her and she found it... It can cause some really scary and uneasy feelings, even if you meant well.

But I really wanna address the question: "how could someone who had seen how much they meant to me do that?"

The thing is, she doesn't owe you anything regardless of your feelings to her. I know it feels unfair, especially when feelings are unrequited. I empathize greatly with this and I know how downright painful it can be. I've been there. I'm still blocked by someone I once adored but fucked up with. Ultimately, we both made someone feel uncomfortable and they had the right to block us. And unfortunately, we have to be okay with that.

But again, and I can't stress this enough - let her come to you, baby. By doing this, you her know that her boundaries are respected by you.

Still, overall, I hope you're taking care of yourself. Never forget that you deserve to be taken care of. Go out, get into some really rad new hobbies, sniff some flowers, enjoy time with any friends of family you may have. Take it one day at a time.

Whether you reconcile with this girl or not, there will be other loves that light your soul on fire, maybe even moreso than you've ever before experienced. You're gonna be alright ♡

[blogpostatron3000]

man and I hate to say this but I feel so much calmer. Instantaneously. And I have energy to talk to people all of a sudden. Like, it's going to take me a bit to stop having a Skinner Box Rat reaction to checking my phone but goddddd my nerves are not on fire for once. There's nobody guilting me for prioritizing my education and nobody telling me they want me to report in to them and nobody making me wake up every day to 50 long messages about something-or-other and spend my morning writing my mandated replies and. Aghhhfjakaldndoalsndjco. Shdjdjakla. Aaaaah. Nobody guilting me for??? I don't even know what the fuck that last one was actually about, having hobbies external to the relationship? And then to top that off with what amounts to "sorry I'm always the one yelling at you, am I annoying, I feel like im annoying". Golly, it's no problem! Let me spend the next hour performing reassurance. No, really, we both know I meant to be in bed 30 minutes ago, but we also both know that this is a conversational hostage situation anyway, so why not.

Part of me feels bad for writing, or even thinking about this with any kind of vitriol, because it was never malicious, so much as it was just a behavior pattern and mismatch of values that was extremely incompatible with Everything About Me—not a bad person, said and did some pretty hurtful things but not with ill intent, and my distaste for certain personality traits is not really a statement on somebody's character—but holy fuck man like, it was like I was getting trained. Everything I did was wrong. Every time I thought about her I got a cortisol spike and I couldn't be alone for more than an hour, if that, without having to check if it was going to be a problem or not.

And it was always up to me to just take it!. I never said a single off-color thing to her. I'm not an exceptional guy and I'm not free of sin. I actually think I'm a rather shitty partner, I can own that. But at least I can have a mature conversation and not write out a soap opera script!!!

This was valuable in that it made me identify a shitton of annoying stuff I sometimes did, and then made me be on the other side of it in flanderized form for every hour of every day for however many months. And now it is over. And I will never do that shit again. Relationship so ill-suited to me that it has made me question if I can actually feel love. The first time should've been enough indication But It Wasn't, for some reason. If I ever give time to an anxious-clingy girl again just actually shoot me.

[asteroid-fruitcup]

me dropping some more lore about me myself ehehe

random fact about me - i’m like REALLY sensitive to tone for some reason ;-;

sometimes this is good! for example this makes me an EXPERT at finding word connotations! random ass words like idk… crackle. it’s a very crunchy word and like i feel the word in the front of my face almost and it’s very sharp and bright, do you hear me

sometimes this is bad! like one of my besties will message me with like one less emoticon and I’ll have a nervous breakdown thinking they’re angry at me or something!

because of this i also need like constant clarification on things ;-; sometimes someone will tell me to do something in a slightly too empty tone and that might cause me to ask a LOT more about what they asked me to do because i get really scared they’ll be angry if i mess up

(the post after this is just me ranting about various different experiences so um yeah feel free to skip that)

it’s annoying like my mom was really tired once and she asked me to go grab her a glass of water or something and i genuinely thought i was in trouble and then she just. took the water and said thanks.

it’s also annoying because since I can tell when other people are annoyed I can see VERY clearly through their whole “nah it’s alr i’m good” type wall they built BUT i also know that most of the stuff I would do to help them would make them feel worse so i have to walk away and feel infinitely bitter about myself

there was this one time in sixth grade (bOOOOO) where i signed up for this after school art thing! that was cool in theory but then i had to miss the first two meetings because i was sick :/

so i come in with newly acquaintanced Lemon (if you remember who they are yes. them) and we’re sitting at our table together. I still had my backpack on because i don’t know ig I forgot to take it off or something

this nice kind lady comes up to me and she’s like “hey put your backpack under the table! we’ll be here for a while!” and i mean she said it in a sweet voice and stuff and i had a perfectly good day so idk what it was that caused this but I just. broke down crying.

and istg i didn’t even know WHY i was crying she was all “omg are you okay!” and i was reassuring her “yeah yeah i’m fine sometimes i cry randomly like this but seriously i had an amazing day this just happens sometimes for no reason”

luckily they understood and lemon (suprisingly) calmed me down a little bit so uh yeah dw guys I was fine

another moment i remember! i usually stay after school for a while and the rules on how long I was allowed to stay were always changing and it was annoying asf

so anyways around the beginning of the year ‘ chilling at some random lunch table playing one of those shitty bubble shooter games on my phone when one of the supervisors comes up to me (context all the supervisors at my school except like this one cool guy with dyed hair and shit are assholes like half the time and kind of naturally sound annoyed yk what i mean) and says “hey you need to get off campus its something o clock”

attempting to justify my position, i respond with “yeah but i thought i was allowed to stay until the library closes” and idk what happened but i decided to go to the main office to just. ask.

so i head to the office and i’m all confident mildly annoyed because i just got kicked off campus again

i have a polite conversation with the person at the desk and they’re just like “sorry it’s whatever the supervisors say” and my ass STARTED TEARING UP and the whole omg are you okay yeah im fine that just happens sometimes thing happened and I was fine but then I broke down again when i got picked up and then cried more in my room at home so um

i’m fine now trust 0v0

apologies for the rant but yeah question if you stayed with me the whole post but does this have any connection with like. neurodivergence? because i remember hearing about like adhd and rejection sensitive dysphoria so does this have anything to do with that? /gen

*spontaneously combusts* weee

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Post-Election diary/long post #3... Not open to debate, once more, just thoughts. Just screaming to the internet void, trying to process a loss that might very well make my life very, VERY hard for the foreseeable future.

From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

In Scranton on Wednesday, Matt Wolfson, a 45-year-old former construction worker, looked around at poverty in the Rust Belt city and thought the nation needed a change in leadership. Wolfson said he didn't love the dictatorial aspect of Trump's personality, but thought it could help keep the country out of wars and maybe bring peace to some other conflicts, including in Ukraine. "He's good and bad. People say he's a dictator. I believe that. I consider him like Hitler," Wolfson said. "But I voted for the man."

In addition to that... Here's AOC asking people why they split the ballot, voting for people/policies contradictory to Trump's, but voted for Trump for President...

This is a big chunk of average Americans. Democrats, this is what you're up against. I went over this in previous posts... Too many Americans are deeply misinformed...

How the fuck we message to them to realize what Trump and that whole party stands for? Despite everything they've seen? Or have they even seen, is the question... Jan 6th, the charges, him being a felon, his handling of COVID, the constant hatred in his speeches across all three elections he's been part of...

I... Just... How?

That's what the Dems are up against. Their "messaging problem", to me, is that they're always preaching to the choir. The millions who GET IT, and understand what has to be done to keep something of a democracy afloat. And it wasn't enough to topple the anomaly that is Trump, the former celebrity bumbling buffoon that so many Americans just "vibe" with. And not Kamala Harris, and probably not incumbent Joe Biden if he had run for re-election this fall. Hell, who WOULD'VE beaten him this time? I couldn't fucking tell you.

Still, Kamala did get 71m votes (as of this writing), the 4th largest amount of votes behind Biden, and Trump twice. So, Dems are REACHING somebody with their "messaging"... It's just not enough. If it had been Vance, Haley, or a schmuck like DeSantis or Vivek or whoever. One of those interchangeable bigoted fuckheads, I think it would've looked more like 71m votes vs. 55-60m votes. A real Obama vs. McCain landslide.

Soooo... Yeah, I'm not one of those "lay down and take it" types. I'll believe there will be no 2028 presidential election IF I see it, not WHEN. I'm not getting into that right now, I already did on previous posts and elsewhere. I don't do that doomer shit, that obedience in advance nonsense. They want us to feel helpless, that we'll ultimately lose everything so mustn't even try anything...

Anyways, where was I? He's old and he's not going to be around for much longer, and there's really no one else like him that the GOP can turn to once his time is up. That could mean two things, him getting ill/dying in office, or him not succeeding in overturning free-and-fair elections by 2028 and that someone else has to run after he's done. Again, there's no one else like him in the sphere. Certainly not among their *actual* politicians. Again, Vance or any of them would likely lose 2028 against a fairly competent Dem candidate, whomever that may be.

Speaking of which, I have no idea who side blue could possibly pick for that election, I'd rather focus on the base of the mountain first before reaching the peak. Ya'know, upcoming local elections, gubernatorial, AGs, etc., and the midterms in 2026. This time, we won't have an incumbent stepping down merely a hundred days before the election and much more focus, so we've got that on our side at least.

But the question remains for the Dems... How do you even break the right-wing misinfo sphere AND reach these wishy-washy voters? That's who to court, in addition to keeping the Dem faithful. It seems the Dems are just very behind on this. Kamala's campaign was great if it were run in 2012, against someone like Mitt Romney. Not against someone like Trump, that's for sure. In retrospective, I still couldn't tell you who would beat him under all those circumstances. I know, like many Dems, I greatly underestimated a lot of my fellow and not-so-fellow Americans.

I kinda felt, foolishly, that surely the allegations, 1/6, his own base trying to snuff him, all the shit he spewed about trans people and immigrants and Haitians and damn near everybody, all his other flubs... Surely...

But NO... Those voters might as well have elected Freddy Krueger because he had good vibes or something.

At the very least, within a week of the results being called, we're already going all Kowalski, Analysis on what went wrong, and trying ALL the variables.

I leave you right now w/ a quote from a good friend of mine:

"It might be fine if those same people voted enough to keep those kinds of politicians in power... Instead it gets left up to a bunch of hall monitors and your well-meaning but ignorant aunts who want 'normal' at all costs."

Spot on.

[sparklykat-hideoutenthusiast]

Joining even tho I wasn't tagged >:]

Are you single?

Yuppers! Relationships are not my thing currently (I don't know if that'll change with age or something)

Best-friends list on snap?

Don't have Snapchat!

Crush?

No one currently!

Do you sleep with a teddy?

Of course! Everything is more comfortable with a bestie in plush form!

Easiest person to talk to?

I don't know if this meant online or irl..um

Irl: my mom maybe? Honestly no one. Talking is a task -w-

Online? Probably @silly-moth-123 !! :D

(Sorry everyone else! This isn't a choosing of favorites btw)

FaceTime recents list?

My dad ig?

Idk- oh wait! I FaceTimed @my-mom-named-me-duck last! :0

Girl and boy best friend?

I don't understand this question. What does it mean by this? Like- do I prefer a boy best friend or a girl best friend? Or is it asking something else???

If that's the question then girl best friend for sure (sorry to guys, I just kinda feel more comfortable with girls since I've had a past with guys that doesn't need to be addressed rn ^^;)

If you had your first kiss- who with?

I have not kissed anyone before! ^^

Interesting fact about you?

Oh! Um.. hm..

I don't like tight clothes! I prefer more loose clothing because I don't like people being able to see me squirm or fidget when uncomfortable :3

Jealous of?

Used to be jealous of my sister since she's successful in everything and does stuff with an ease I can only dream about. I'm not jealous of her anymore as of recent though so I don't know if this counts as a valid answer -w-

Kissed anyone recently?

What are these questions???

No, I haven't.

Last crush?

My first and last crush was a kid nicknamed bug because he'd bug people for weed to give to his mom lmao

Anyway- he just looked like a male version of myself, including the long hair -w-'''

Middle name?

Slightly invasive question but alright, I'll oblige.

My middle name is Dariyah ✨

Pronounced Dar-ē-yuh :3

Nicknames?

Apparently Willow is a popular one. So many people IRL have said I look like I'd be named Willow -w-

And biscuit (nickname from my mom)

I don't think I can think of any real nickname someone has given me other than that (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Old photos of u?

Sorry, no. It'd have to be over a dm and only with a moot ^^

Feel free to message me though if you're curious! :D

Pepsi or coke?

Um..cherry Pepsi is better than regular coke but coke is better than just Pepsi.

Recent text messages? (Last 4)

Are getting my texts?

Okay

Yay!

Spill the tea?

Okay- so

I would- and might later once I have more energy, but I can't cuz I'm super duper tired and don't feel like writing that much rn -w-

Type in boys/girls?

Like- as in what I'm interested in romantically??

I don't quite understand this one either but I'm assuming that's what this meant.

Um.. I think I like messy hair, and general vulnerability since emotions are fascinating to me :3

Maybe curly hair too?

(Though I'm not sure cuz I've never dated before-)

Unpopular opinion?

You can be neutral in a controversial topic. It isn't just one side or the other. I hate "it's one side or the other" things. Like- yes, some people claim to be neutral when they aren't, but that doesn't mean there aren't people who have a genuine understanding and feel for each opinion without fully sided with either one.

Don't force people to choose sides. We're complicated meat log mechs that sometimes can't pick a side for goodness sake.

Neutrality can be going against something since it's not particularly choosing it, but that doesn't mean they're on the other side either. It also doesn't mean that every neutral person is denying the facts your side has to offer.

Very bad pic of yourself?

Any one of them where I'm trying to look edgy ^^;

(again, I will not show my face unless through dm)

Worst fear?

Being alone. The concept of no one being there to help me when times get tough/the concept of no one there to perceive me terrifies me.

(not in short periods of time though)

Your favorite food?

I like sea food a lot as well as pickles and fettuccine Alfredo pasta :3

Wow! That was a lot!

Open tags!

Tag game mayhaps? Ask game?

(From a irl)

Mine below

No

The 7 people I have on snap lmao and that’s it

My bf

Yes and several stuffies

Poe and some friends

Main gc Poe my parents prob

Idk duck Poe Elle?

No

Uh idk

My brother??? Idk randos

Nope

My bf

Skip

Skip cus personal

Skip

Come

Skip

Skip

Idk tbh not anything really

Idk

Skip

Spiders

Yogurt? Pretzels

[lemonlover1110]

𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲

Kento Nanami

[Chapter 3] Failed Relationships and Surprises

← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist - Next Chapter →

Pairing: Kento Nanami x f!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Nanami and Getou being an ass

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Kento wonders how your relationship will be affected now that you’re going back home. You said you’ll keep doing this until you get bored of each other, which he doesn’t mind but he wonders how fast you’ll get bored of him. He’s sure that a week in, you’ll send him a message that you’re bored out of your mind. He isn’t sure as to what will happen to him and his job.

You’re packing your stuff, which isn’t too much since you just got here. Any lost item can easily be replaced by you anyway, so you don’t stress too much. You feel as Kento watches you, as if he doesn’t have his own stuff to pack, so you speak up, “What are you doing, Kento? We have to get going soon. We have no point to be here.”

“I thought this was somewhat of a vacation.” He responds, going back to packing his clothes. You did tell him it was a paid vacation, but in the end you’d have some sort of purpose being in the place. That purpose is now gone.

“It was. But now we have to go back home.” You answer, and he has to hold back a sigh. He was just starting to have fun. He guesses you’ll have your fun once you’re back home again. Until you get bored of each other. In other words, until you’ve had enough of him.

“What happens when you get bored of me?” Kento asks out of nowhere, and you come to a complete stop. You stare at him, slowly blinking, trying to figure out what he means. Until you think you’ve got it, and you chuckle.

“You really think I would fire you after I started an affair with you?” You question, and he has to shrug because he sincerely has no idea. He’s never thought too much about the consequences of having a work-affair with you, until now. Before he only thought of the benefits. “No. I won’t fire you, Kento, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Just making sure…” He mutters, which you hear and in response you roll your eyes.

Once you’re back home, you’re immediately busy at work. All personal things are pushed aside so work can be your priority. Meaning you only start caring for Kento on a work level. Sure, you find him attractive and you still want to have sex with him but you can’t since you find yourself so busy.

Kento doesn’t mind, giving all his attention to his daughter, and as well as work. The relationship you had wasn’t going to last too long, he knew that. He sees that his job isn’t at risk, which is what matters to him the most.

Two weeks after your trip, you’ve had no time alone. But today you walk up to his desk with a smile on your face, and he wonders what’s up. He speaks up, “What’s up, ma’am?”

“Guess who’s free tonight?” You begin, and he opens your work agenda. You quickly shut it for him. “I am. I just want to ask you out on a date since we haven’t gotten to do anything ever since New York.”

“I– I want to go out but I have to get a sitter for my daughter, so I’m not sure if I can…” Kento answers. You pout your lips, although you understand it’s not so easy for him to drop everything. He notices your face and says, “I’ll ask my mom, but she won’t be so happy that I won’t be home to go on a date.”

“If you want I can get you a sitter. So you don’t get in trouble with your mom.” You offer, but he shakes his head. He doesn’t need you to solve his life for him.

“I’ll ask my mom, thank you though.” He replies. You smile at him and begin to walk away but his voice stops you, “What’s a good time? And what are we doing?”

“We’re going out to a restaurant so dress nicely. I’ll be picking you up at eight.” You wink at him before walking to your office. He pays close attention to you, his cheeks turning red. You’re one beautiful woman, and he wonders how he managed to even get you to notice him.

When you’re out of sight, he really thinks about your words. You’ll be picking him up? Where are you two going? When setting up a date, he’s usually the one that does that kind of thing. The place you’d be going, the time, and the time he’d be picking you up. This is certainly… Different. He’s not sure if he likes it though.

He focuses on his work again, deciding that he should focus on your date afterwards. He doesn’t need you to reprimand him while on your date. How ridiculous would that be? 

You pick him up at eight on the dot, which is what Kento expected. You’re very punctual, you don’t only expect it from others, which is something he likes about you. It feels awkward for him to get into your sports car and have you drive him to the restaurant. Awkward small talk fills up the talk while you drive to the place. He isn’t sure what to say, and you don’t know what to say either. You two just want one thing from each other: sex.

The fact that you’re going out to eat is a front. You don’t just want to call it a fling, you want to pretend as if there’s a possible relationship out of all of this. There’s really not. Kento is a gentleman and any woman that ends up with him is truly lucky, but you’re not sure if you can actually gain a relationship from this.

When you got to the restaurant, Kento immediately noticed that this place was way out of his price range. Maybe if he didn’t have a kid, and didn’t have to pay rent and utilities he could afford to pay for dinner here once a year or so. He’s lucky he’s dressed for the place. He awkwardly sits across from you, sipping on his wine.

“So… How’s your daughter?” You ask before you bring up your drink up to your lips. You expected this dinner to be less awkward than it is now, but there’s nothing you can do about it. After two weeks of being strictly his boss, you’re suddenly trying to be– He can’t even put a word on it. 

“She’s good.” Kento doesn’t provide much details. You awkwardly sit in silence for a minute or so before he adds, “She was excited to sleep over at her grandma’s house.”

“That’s nice to hear.” You respond. It wasn’t this awkward in New York, so why is it so awkward now? Maybe it was the air in New York. Maybe you both just realized that the chit chat is stupid and you two just want sex from each other, nothing more. Or maybe you just don’t know what to ask about each other.

“The board meeting is coming up…” He brings up. You might as well talk about work. “Do you feel as if you’re prepared?”

“I am. I’m not really ready to see my parents and all the others though.” You respond. He raises a brow, and before he can really ask, you answer his question, “My parents… More so my father is really pushing me to get married and start a family and whatnot. He wants grandchildren and a future heir.”

“Oh… Yeah…” He replies. He’s making this more awkward than it needs to be. He’s bothered by something, you can tell. But you don’t understand what. The restaurant isn’t too busy, and you’re still somewhat secluded from everyone else so it can’t be the fact people are annoying him.

“Kento… Is there something bothering you? Should we just leave to my penthouse?” You question and he sighs. He begins to sip on the very expensive wine that you ordered. This shouldn’t be like this. It should be the other way around. He should be the one driving you, taking you back home, paying for everything.

“Honey…?” You both hear, and you look up at the person. You shut your eyes and immediately look at Kento, as if the person standing near your table was non-existent. Kento takes a good look at him, and he recognizes the man. Your ex-fiancè. “Who’s this?”

“They allow really obnoxious people here… We should get going soon, Kento.” You comment, and it immediately clicks for the man. Suguru glares at Kento, and it makes Kento extremely uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to be involved in this whole mess.

“Your secretary? Nanami? There’s no way you’ve stooped so low.” Suguru says, and Kento nearly chokes on his drink. He’s shocked, but he shouldn’t be. Of course he’d be seen as low by people around your status. Another con. 

Overthinking this isn’t allowing him to enjoy a magnificent dinner with you, one that could result in a wonderful relationship. He’s feeling too belittled because he doesn’t have the money to afford the luxuries you have.

“I just never expected it from you… I thought you’d go for a man with status.” Suguru continues, causing you to roll your eyes. You can notice that Kento is uncomfortable.

“Leave us alone, Suguru. Go stick it in another waitress.” You dismiss him, yet he doesn’t want to leave. He continues shit-talking about Kento until you stand up, and stare him down. “Leave or I’ll fucking scream. I’ll tell the whole world what the hell you were doing.”

“Do it. I fucking dare you.” Suguru replies. He pulls out his phone from his pocket and begins to look for something. When he shows you, your eyebrows furrow. “I’ll call your dad. I’ll tell him you’re fucking the secretary.

“Call him. He’s fuming because of what you did. He might’ve liked you while we dated, but now he knows who you truly are… And he doesn’t like it one bit. Now leave us alone.” You tell him, and before Suguru can leave, Kento stands up.

“I’m actually not feeling too well…” He acts as if he’s sick. The action of staring at your ex-fiancé did make him sick in a way. It just confirmed that you’re way out of his league. “I can pay for the wine and all but it’s best if I… leave.”

“Oh…” You respond, feeling that if you say anything else you’ll just look pathetic. Especially when Suguru is right in front of you with an irking smirk on his face. Kento just feels unwell… That’s all. “I’ll pay, go wait in the car.”

“Okay…” He replies. Kento walks out of the restaurant while you glare at Suguru. You bite your tongue, holding back a few curses.

“I don’t ever want to see you again, you got that? Next time you fucking come to ruin my night, I’ll make sure to ruin your life.” You try to be as calm as possible, as if you don’t want to break down and cry in the middle of the place. You grab your purse, and get out a couple of bills to pay for the wine and to leave a hefty tip for the waitress. You take one last look at Suguru before saying, “Good evening.”

You walk out of the restaurant, and luckily Kento is waiting outside in the car. You get into the passenger seat, and Kento opens his mouth to speak, “I’m not sure how to drive the car–”

“Figure it out. Drive yourself home.” You respond, since you’re on the verge of tears and the last thing you can do is drive. He begins to drive, and this awkward silence fills up the car. Kento wants to say something regarding your relationship but he isn’t sure how to bring it up.

It begins to bother him so much that he feels as if he has to talk about it now, even though he hears your sniffling. He clears his throat, mustering up the courage to speak. He catches a glimpse of you, and he sees how a tear escapes your eye. He can’t blame you… It’s not like feelings can disappear overnight. 

“I think if our relationship goes back to how it was before New York…” He brings up, and you hum in agreement. You think it’s because of your reaction to Suguru and all that, and while it is part of his decision, it’s not all of it.

“Just drive yourself home and we’ll pretend like this or New York never happened.”

Pretending as if New York never happened was and still is the easiest thing for both you and Kento. You thankfully can go back to that relationship you had as a boss and employee. Nothing, at least for you, doesn’t feel too awkward.

You’re stressed over work so you don’t really have time to think of relationships and whatnot. Two months after your trip, you’re so busy at work that you barely have time to take care of yourself. And you can definitely feel the lack of self-care as your health declines.

Your period is late, which you assume is because you haven’t been feeding yourself properly. Which you tried changing your diet for. This new food makes you nauseous though, so you assume you have to slowly change your diet. Although any other food is making you nauseous as well. When your boobs start to feel tender and you get overly emotional, you think that you’re about to get your period but when a week later you don’t, you end up setting up an appointment with your doctor.

After you dismiss the possibility of you being pregnant, they end up doing some bloodwork and you go on about your day while you wait for the results. Today you’re having lunch with your parents, hearing your father talk about nonsense. You prefer to hear him talk over your mother, though.

“Since you and Suguru are no longer together, maybe I should arrange you on some blind dates.” Your father suggests, making you roll your eyes. You play with your food, not finding it appetizing enough to eat. “You have to get married eventually. You need to produce an heir, and you’re not getting any younger.”

“I don’t want to.” You mutter, but it’s not loud enough for him to hear since he sits on the other side of the long table. Your father is the only one who talks, and it feels as if he’s the only other person there. “I really have to focus on work, dad.”

“I can hire someone else to work. I want you to focus on getting settled down. I’m not getting any younger, y’know?” He says, making you roll your eyes.

You hear the sound of your phone ringing, and you excuse yourself from the table before standing up. You hear your father complain but you ignore it. You pick up the phone and bring it up to your ear before you walk away to the living room of the place. Immediately you’re informed it’s from the hospital, telling you that they have your blood test results.

“What is it?” You immediately ask, wondering if there’s something wrong with you. You close your eyes, anxiously waiting for them to speak. You hope that everything is fine. 

When you hear the results, your eyes widen. You were so sure in the morning that it was something else because there was no way.

“Pregnant? What the fuck do you mean?” You whisper, not wanting your voice to echo in the huge house. You don’t want to share the very sudden news with your parents yet. “Check again, those aren’t mine.”

You’re getting confirmation about something you don’t want, and something so unexpected. Your breathing gets heavy and you hang up the phone after the third time they confirm that those are your results. You slowly blink, trying to figure out if this is a dream or reality. But it’s reality.

“I’m fucking pregnant. There’s no fucking way.”

🏷 @kamikat @snottykitty @r3nii11 @fushiguros-eyelashes @ur-mums-side @uhremmi @thisbicc @mykyoon @lysol1201 @rumi-rants @mimizsworld @hyperfixationsporfavor @levismainbabe @charismaya @blinkingsuns @erenputurchildreninsideme @noticemeakusenpai @attackonsimpp @yeosxxx @kurookinnie @thatbitchsstuff @lilith412426 @ddostoyevskyy @shaquille-oatmeals-world @mangalind @wifeofgeto @puddingbasyi @fragmentedstarlight @4lch3mist @tojianddabisslut @aizensgf @scarlet-kazuha @sugadrops03 @33yaeyaeeee @mikasa019 @justnamuaf @watyousayin @hnysmut @etherealkakashi @shartnart1 @s-witch-bitch @apchmon @namelesslatina @havenater1920 @omytann @bunny-kawa @drugzforyou @czeniess @x-speedy-o @lilithlunas @julian0800

[fleckcmscott]

Every Day

Summary: After their first New Year's celebration, Arthur and Y/N ponder how to proceed.

Words: 3,731

Warnings: None

A/N: Familiar ground is covered in this story, but with my last few pieces being set later in Arthur and Y/N's relationship, I wanted to revisit the blooms at the beginning. I hope you all like it! Many thanks to @jokerownsmysoul​ for beta-ing! 😃

If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open!

December 31st, 1981.

One week ago. Seven days. One hundred and forty-seven hours - not that she kept count. The night Y/N had screwed up her courage and told Arthur she wanted them to live together. Spilling that in Gotham Square, amidst sparkling fireworks and noisemakers, glittering confetti and flowing champagne, had been what she truly desired. Not a mere reflection of the city's dreams and hopes for new beginnings.

So why had neither of them brought it up again? A hush hushness that felt like a tacit endorsement of the status quo.

Not that their status quo was bad. It was pretty great, actually. Delightful, even. Her very own New Year's wish come true. He made her see and experience things in a different light. Stirred parts of her she'd forgotten, neglected. A maroon toothbrush camped in a plastic cup on her bathroom shelf, a box of Kotex had made its way to his. It was good and joyful, what they had.

The question prodded anew. Why the hell were they carrying on as if nothing had happened?

Typewriters clacking, she and Patricia chatted over the hammering of keys. "Does he want to move in with you?" Patricia asked, focus fixed on fluttering paper. "Is he that kind of guy?"

"Well." A bell announced the end of Y/N's typing line. She grabbed the wite-out to correct a p to an o. "He didn't say yes or no. He didn't say anything, really. But judging from how he kissed me, I can safely say he wouldn't mind."

"That good, huh?"

"I can still feel it in my toes."

Matt called from the office behind her. "Hearing that you have a personal life is going to be an adjustment."

Y/N rolled, swiveled to peek past the doorframe. "You're welcome to shut your door," she teased.

Her boss had a point, though. While she'd related her professional background, chatted about television shows and local news, the personal was a hand she kept close to her chest. Only recently had she disclosed to Patricia - a woman she considered her best friend - the surface of what she'd gone through with her father back in Missouri.

There wasn't much to discuss, anyway. Life was simple. She worked and got a bite to eat. Read the paper and stopped at magazine stands. Walked city parks and browsed the shops once or twice a week. A lovely, mundane life made whole by finally being where and who she was meant to be.

And now she had someone in that life whom she ached to be with every day. Who made her want to stretch into new interests, who asked her to share her own, unexpected treasures at her age. How on earth could she keep all that inside?

Crossing the room to sit on Patricia's desk, Y/N described the rarities. "Take comedy," she began. "I like the late shows as much as anyone else, or a funny movie once in a while. Beyond that?" A dismissive wave. "But I love Arthur's passion for it, learning from him, hearing his jokes. It's like when he puts on music I haven't listened to before."

"What's he like?" Patricia sipped her coffee, reclined in her leather chair.

"The classics."

"The Supremes? Elvis?"

"More like Frank Sinatra and Fred Astaire."

Patricia squinted. "How old did you say he was?"

"He's younger than all of us but his heart's antique."

"You really are in love."

Tucking her bottom lip, Y/N grinned until her cheeks smarted. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

"Y/N, take my advice," Matt said, now in the doorway. "Men aren't like women."

Hand on hip, she caught Patricia's Here We Go gaze, then angled her own on Matt. "Is that so?"

"Women tend to talk too much. Men don't need all those discussions. We want to just...do." The man lumbered closer - the same man who groveled to his ex-wife every other week. He brought his palms together as if delivering a final argument, trying to convince a jury to render a guilty plea. "Let him do. What comes comes. You're a bright woman. It'll work out."

As poorly expressed as Matt's thesis was (and the behind the scenes it explained), her gut told her he'd gotten that last sentence right. After a moment, Y/N bobbed her chin in appreciation. He gave a dumb, pleased little wave and retreated to his office.

Patricia's unforgiving elbow jabbed her thigh. "Get back to your desk before he opens his mouth again."

~~~~~

Arthur itched to talk about it. Truly. Cross his heart, hope to die, needle in the eye and all that.

At the grocery store the other night, he'd felt brave enough. Strolling the aisles, filling their respective baskets, holding hands between picking products. Seltzer and marked down Christmas TV dinners for him, a popular brand of tea and World Tour Swanson's for her.

He'd repeated the opening in his head a hundred times, scrawled it in his journal a thousand more. In the shadow of a grand, football shaped display of potato chips, he'd watched her. (Was the amount of time he watched her when they were together creepy? He didn't want to be creepy. He wanted to be a man in love.) She'd studied a bag. He'd gripped his basket tighter.

"I wanted to ask you..." Arthur's breath ran out.

Y/N put the bag in her basket, next to a carton of eggs. "Yes?"

"Um." The bravery he'd been so confident of threatened to run out, too. He'd shrugged, forced himself to smile, his tongue in armed revolt against his brain. "How your pretzels were?"

She'd stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Which of course he had. "How my pretzels were?"

"Yeah." He'd slid closer to hide his screw up, body language smoother than spoken. Act casual. "The ones you bought for New Year’s." He'd managed to name the day, a split hair's breadth from success! "The mustard kind?"

One slow blink. "Honey mustard. They were good. Did you want some?" She'd reached towards the display.

"No," he'd said, a bit too fast.

"All right."

Five weird seconds that stretched like five hours. Arthur prayed he'd turn invisible so he could flee. A hiccup, a conscious effort to constrict his throat, hold his breath against a laugh.

An easy arm had curled around the crook of his elbow, led them to the checkout. "I have some left. You're welcome to them," she'd said. His diaphragm had calmed to a quiet cough.

Perhaps he could broach the subject tonight. That was the plan, anyway, as he jaunted down the concrete stairs. In his hurry to get to Y/N, he'd forgotten his hat and mittens, an oversight sure to perturb her. The wintry mix of snow and rain turned the light waves of his hair to curls, his lips frigid as a Frigidaire. Shivering, he pulled his tan hood over his head, yanked the strings tight.

He could do this. He just had to put his mind to it. After all, if they hadn't exchanged keys it was still a hypothetical, which meant it was still safe.

Not that she wasn't a safe haven. She was the one who'd taught him what safe haven meant. But there was a lot to consider beyond eternal bliss.

She'd bought movie tickets last Tuesday, insisted on paying for dinner Thursday, offered an evening casserole and wine after she'd seen the receipt for his new insomnia medication. He'd cursed himself for leaving it on the counter and declined. Poverty was the usual and he was used to it. Now it pricked like a bushel of thorns.

A couple days ago, he'd met Dr. Ludlow, an appointment made after Christmas, after a long talk with Y/N. (Though she'd made no such hints, he suspected that committing to treatment was necessary for her to fully commit to him.) The introductory session had consisted of rehashing every diagnosis, histories he'd rather forget. Dr. Ludlow was nice and all, made him comfortable, appeared willing to listen. No hard candies but he could smoke to his heart's content. When he'd wanted to schedule another appointment, he'd pushed out a bashful request for some type of payment plan.

"The first few sessions are taken care of." She'd smiled at him like she was delivering good news. "That should take you through March, then we can go from there."

Hovering at the doctor's desk, he'd found himself unable to move. That act of generosity was an island's leap from free chicken parmesan. He was at once deeply moved - and deeply unsettled.

Was it possible to be both the Man of the House and a financial burden at once?

Maybe. Maybe not. Probably maybe not.

Probably maybe he should slam the brakes on this train of thought. Shaking those notions off, he knocked on Y/N's door.

"Where is your hat?" Wifely exasperation right on cue. Chilled cheeks burned crimson at the association. He kissed her full lips but she retreated, wincing. "You're freezing. We need to warm you up. You should take a-"

"Bath. I will." He'd showered that morning, but he wouldn't argue. It'd be hard to enjoy himself as a popsicle. Unzipping, unbuttoning, he started towards the bathroom, dripping across the carpet.

~~~~~

Laundry folded and put away, Arthur's clothes draped over the radiator (his socks and briefs had somehow stayed dry), Y/N busied herself with the Gotham Journal. Thomas Wayne's mayoral bid continued to stomp across the front page, another article reported Brezhnev's latest threats. An ad for canned diced tomatoes featured a recipe for Mediterranean stuffed peppers. She dog-eared that page for later.

At a quarter to eight, she folded the paper on her lap and looked towards the bathroom door. Light spilled beneath it, the sound of a couple soft splashes. There was no sign it would open soon, and she was growing eager. Ready to reclaim last week's courage, she set off to retrieve her bathrobe.

Just as she was about to knock, a muffled hum halted her hand. Low, baritone, a caress to the ear. She pressed her frame closer to the wood. Rasped syllables between bars, a pitch that stuck to the back of the throat at higher notes. Though the song was unknown to her, she guessed it was the kind of old romantic tune that'd made her gush to Patricia.

It was adorable, her boyfriend serenading himself in the tub, and she adored him for it. Her younger self had assumed passion would lose its wonder as she grayed and wrinkled. Yet, she found she wasn't much different from that girl back in Boonville. The love she had for Arthur felt as fresh as new beginnings.

When he spent the night, he usually let her sleep until her alarm. But there were times she'd wake to his face buried in the nape of her neck, his stubble rough between her shoulders. Arm tight at her waist, fingers splayed on her abdomen. On those mornings she couldn't bear to move. Perfect moments she wanted to live in forever.

A glow sparked within her, propelled her forward. She knocked but didn't wait for a reply. "You can use this, if you'd like," she said, indicating the robe, cutting through the muggy air. "It shouldn't be too snug. I bought a couple sizes too big." She laid it on the closed toilet and turned to face him.

A navy blue washcloth drifted through the water, a bar of Ivory soap floated on the surface. Arthur sat straight as a fence, penis and hands tucked firmly between his thighs, which flexed in an uneven rhythm.

She floundered for a moment. Had his mother walked in on him like this? In the middle of getting dressed or washing up, a grown man without privacy? Had she just been as inconsiderate as Penny?

Y/N's nose wrinkled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll go put the kettle on."

A shake of the head told her not to worry. "No, it's all right." His pale green glance was earnest, flashed with a shimmer that might have been hope. A muscle twitched along his jaw, the corners of his lips folded inward. Brown waves tumbled forward, knotted from the wet cold.

She ventured a pace towards him. "Would you like me to wash your hair?" Not long ago, he'd mentioned he always cut it himself, hadn't ever had the salon experience.

Dark brows lifted as he processed the request. "You don't have to."

"I'd love to," she said, perching on the tub's rim. "It's my favorite part of getting my hair done. Nothing washes away a trying day quite like it."

Whenever she suggested touching him in a new way, it didn't take much convincing. Tonight was no different. He dunked under the water immediately. Rivulets sculpted cutting cheekbones, drops fell from the rounded tip of his nose.

Sleeves rolled to her elbows and a dollop of shampoo in her palm, she laced her fingers through not yet silky locks. A stubborn tangle caught her left thumbnail. She stood for better leverage, working through his chestnut mop, now dark as velvet winter skies. The lather thickened with each stroke.

"Does that feel good?" she asked.

Not unlike his earlier singing, he hummed. "Mmm."

Sleet pinged the nearby window. She raked her nails along his scalp. "When we took a bath at your place, you said you were thinking about the future." A safe a way to breach the conversation, a lovely memory for them both. The night he'd confessed he loved her.

"Yeah. One with you." He rested in the curved end of the tub. "I've been thinking about what you said. About living together."

Her pulse skipped into next week. "Does that mean you want to?"

"No. I mean- I dunno. I like the idea, but I- I don't have a lot of money. My apartment's expensive, Penny's stuff is everywhere, and...I haven't lived anywhere else. Your apartment's newer. And I know you hate the cigarette smell at mine."

That was a fact she couldn't deny. She hadn't complained, having no desire to hurt him. But given that she didn't allow smoking anywhere besides the fire escape, it wasn't hard to deduce. Kneading slowed to a languid massage. She cleared relief from her throat, relief their relationship wasn't the cause of his hesitation. "This one's about the same age, just remodeled. And your place is spacious compared to some of the apartments I've seen." Her mind flashed to Mrs. McPhee's, the kitchen, living, and dining rooms combined into one ten by ten coop.

The pad of her thumb followed his strong brow. "I've been meaning to ask you something." Her hand snuck past his shoulder, traced droplets on his pectoral, dipped beneath the water's surface. "Were you always this thin?"

He frowned, tensed beneath her touch. "I thought you liked it."

"I do, I do. It's just that you have a bit of a love handle. Righhht...here." A pinch to his squishy flank, tickles to his ribs.

Sudden giggles, laughter that sounded ten years younger. He splashed her with a flick of the wrist, streaks of lilac sweater darkening to violet. "I lost weight when I started my medication. My mother used to say-" he raised his voice an octave here "'-You need to eat. Look at how skinny you are.'" A roll of the eyes, his whole head. "I guess that doesn't matter anymore."

"It doesn't have to," Y/N said. Then she scoffed at herself, at the hypocrisy of confirming he could let go of the past when hers continued to bleed at the edges. Before he could assume the scoff was at him, she added, "Maybe living here would help with that." He made no response.

Bending closer, she gathered his hair at the nape of his neck, wrung out lather. Suds slipped down her forearms. Automatically, he relaxed into her, curls clinging to her fingertips. Conversation ceased. She was unaware of the nearness of her breasts to his face.

A whispered trail on the seam of her sweater. Along her abdomen, across her stomach, up, up, up. He cupped her breast, cradled her as if she was a mirage. Wetness seeped through the acrylic. Her motions halted. The humidity of the room thickened to a pleasant fog.

Arthur's Adam's apple bobbed, his gaze darted to hers. "I don't want sex."

Careful to keep shampoo out of his eyes, she smoothed stray strands from his forehead. "You can touch me whenever you want, wherever you want. With or without sex." She nudged the tip of his nose with hers. "I want you to touch me every day. That's how you'll get used to it."

Reservation melted into an easy smile, tinged with a bashful pride. Akin to a suitor recalling how well he'd done on a date. Moving to catch her chin, he admired the handprint on her shirt and stole a kiss.

Her toes curled anew. And in the corner of her eye, so did his.

~~~~~

After handing him a fresh towel, Y/N left to change. An oversized sweatshirt would do, a faded sage green. With its hem at her hips, she decided to forego pants in favor of pale pink middle-aged panties. A choice for candid familiarity.

As she poured honey mustard pretzels in a wooden bowl, filled the tea kettle with water, Arthur shuffled through the living room. He flipped through her meager record collection, about ten LPs in total. The console stereo remained shut.

"There's nothing romantic in here," he said.

"I have a feeling Al Green would disagree." She'd played Let's Stay Together often as of late, a soundtrack to dusting and dishes, lines and lyrics bringing Arthur to mind.

The radio sprang to life, the GCR nightly news hour. Buzzing, static, the squeal of an out of key jingle. Finally, he reached his goal. Warm strings, a plaintive timbre.

"What station is this?" she asked. Bumping into Sinatra the evening he'd come for dinner had been pure luck.

"GPR. They play oldies Tuesday and Thursday nights and Sunday mornings." He sidled up beside her, robe cinched tight at the waist, chest peeking out from the white terrycloth. Soft notes continued while they waited for the water to boil. Quiet, lovely companionship in this basic task.

When she filled the mugs, the collar of her sweatshirt fell down her shoulder. A moment, two, and he put his arm about her. His thumb ventured to her collarbone. Tapping, settling into a comfortable caress. She jutted her hip against him.

He gave her a squeeze. "When you were a little girl, what did you dream about? What future did you want?"

Both hands cupping her mug, she put her elbows on the counter. In truth, that was hard to conjure. Married at seventeen, college four months later, degree at twenty-two. Childhood dreams had remained distant since - well, since she was a little girl. Not that she regretted that history. It'd simply resulted in practicality instead of preoccupation.

And the prior decade of distress had done a pretty thorough job of grinding down whatever parts of her could still imagine in that way. Even with the medication she'd taken towards the end. She'd lived moment to moment, survived hour to hour for so long. Thinking of it reminded her of all she'd lost, when it should've reminded her of all she'd gained. It irked her, how small it made her feel, small enough to rival a camel going through the eye of a needle.

But Arthur wasn't aware of the rusty gears and cranks of her past. He deserved an answer.

"I wanted to grow up, but I wanted life to stay the same. Does that make sense?" She blew ripples across chamomile. "I had a good childhood. I was lucky. My parents were supportive and proud. My sister was my best friend, even when she annoyed the hell out of me. I wanted to keep those things, like a photograph that wouldn't fade. But I also wished for a career, to make a home with the man I loved. I didn't understand what that kind of love was, not yet. But I saw what my parents had and wanted my own happily ever after." A soreness threatened her vocal cords, for theirs had been cut short. She sipped it away. "What about you?"

The answer came quickly, as if he'd been waiting to be asked his whole life. "Meeting my dad." He dunked his cinnamon teabag, his strong brow weakening. "I always wondered what I did to make him leave."

Heat enveloped her neck. "You didn't do anything, Arthur. You didn't do anything. He's the one who missed out, not you." A rash response, one that wouldn't heal his wounds. But a salve she hoped would soothe - and what she believed.

He wound the teabag's string through the mug's handle. The corner of his mouth curved, a subtle nod of the head. The hand on her shoulder drew a line down her arm to entwine their fingers. Turning her towards him, he grasped her hip.

From the tender light in his eyes, it was plain where this was headed. And she hadn't had any wine to help her get over herself. Her palm pressed his sternum in a halfhearted attempt to save her dignity. "We've done this once."

Their clasped hands were now at shoulder height. "Not enough," he said.

"You haven't had a chance to see how bad I am at this."

"We just have to practice."

"But I can't hear when to step," she said, and shifted foot to foot.

"Didn't you enjoy it the first time?"

She weakened in his arms, her protestations dissolving in her throat. "I loved it."

"Then let me lead. You don't have to all the time." The warmth of his blinding smile echoed in his gentle instruction. Touch firm but tender, his fingers splayed on the small of her back. "If we live together, I'll want you to dance with me every day. That’s how you'll get used to it."

She chuckled, laid her head on his shoulder. The fresh scent of soap rolled off him. She nestled deeper for another whiff. On a sigh, she pressed a lingering kiss to his neck. "Make sure to hold me to that.”

~~~~~

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​​​​​​​ @ithinkimaperson​​​​​​​ @sweet-nothings04​​​​​​​ @stephieraptorr​​​​ @rommies​​​​​​​ @fallenstarsabyss @gruffle1​​​​​​​ @another-day-in-chuckletown​ @hhandley80​​​​​​​ @jokerownsmysoul​​​​​​​ @rafaelbottom @ralugraphics​​​​​​​ @iartsometimes​​​​​​​ @fleckficgirl​

[fa-by]

Did you miss me?

Hey my babies 👋🏼🤗. How are you? Wow, has it really been that long? It's been 1 year and 2 months apparently and it doesn't seem so 😅. I feel like a part of me should apologize for the absence, so I'm sorry 🙏🏼 but, to be completely honest, the other part of me doesn't want to justify because this is just an app we use to distract ourselves from the reality of daily life 🤭🤣. So, for those who have been wondering, my recap is that I'm 31 now, I've been unhealthy/sick for several things, last year I grieved for my baby girl dog who passed away after 12 years (and who took a piece of my soul with her), I changed my job and I’m being mobbed by my boss every day 😅. The several most important good news? I adopted a beautiful puppy girl in September of this year 😍🤩 and my girlfriend whom you also know well came to me here in Italy twice; once for three months last year, and once for our 2-year anniversary this year by staying for almost a month ❤🥰😍🤩. Oh and, of course, I've started writing again as of today. This obviously has to be put among the good news 🤣. I won't hide from you that I've missed writing, so here I am, although I can't promise that I'll be very active in answering the asks as before due to my various commitments, but I'll try to be here more often 😉.

P.S. I'll only post the 6 most recent asks I've received because I didn't want to create a way too long post, but thanks to everyone for the recent and past messages (even last year's ones) ❤🙏🏼.

You broke my heart with that emoji 🥺. I'm here, dear @sweet-dreamcs​ ❤.

I'm here, my dear Anon 😄. I'm all ears 👂🏼 and I've missed all of you too.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄, I answered about my health in the recap at the beginning of the post, thanks for your concern 🤗. I'm fine now, how are you? I hope well 😊.

I do still ship Camren, how could I not? 🤣 I'll ship them forever 😜. And yeah, I saw Laur's new “relationship”, if you want to call it that. I, on the other hand, like to call it for what it is: PR. And that I think explains my thoughts about it 😉.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 well thank you, my dear Anon😄. I like being right 😉. No, I'm just kidding no, I'm not 🤣. Joking aside now, I've already told you guys in the past that everything I post comes from the research I do and that therefore I post only the truth with proofs.

Anyway, yeah I'm not interested in the version with Señorito 😑, I'm just waiting for Mila's undistorted one now. Oh and, my dear? I'm ready for the thousand questions 🤣.

I'm here, dear Anon 😄. As you said yourself, they're both PRs, so don't worry. And I mean it for real. I don't know how I could reassure you guys any better than that since you already know how it works. It's not the first time we've endured it and it certainly won't be the last. Be strong as always, my dear 💪🏼. Don't talk about them around on social media because that's what they want, and hang on. That's my advice, my dear.

Hey to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄, and I'm okay now. Thanks for asking and I hope you're okay too 😊. Well, how can I answer your question correctly? 🤔🤔

The answer is in your question itself, my dear 🤣. What happened at Coachella and that we saw all over the internet is shit 💩. Yet another display of poor acting. It's as simple as this 🤣. No but, for real. They're simply testing the waters and creating havoc, aka publicity, before Mila's debut with the new label. That's it 🤷🏻‍♀️. Nothing new. Ignore them as I do.

‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

I thank everyone for your concern for me and for continuing to write to me and wanting me back 🥰. I also thank you for the asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. I'm always available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😄. Aaaand let's bring back my tradition, shall we? 👅.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F❤️.