#bc I'd rather not start
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pretty & cute witch men
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i'm not drawing as much or as well as i'd like to be doing. i'm trying to get through a comic i've been really wanting to do#but i'm just finding it so hard. disheartening. btw the 2nd one relates to some official art of qif wearing a dress like the girls#and the 4th one relates to how i've been drawing EXTREMELY SMALL for years. idk how to explain it but i always clicked 'fit to screen'#and so all my art EVER has looked bad when you zoom in bc it's already like size 1 zoomed in to the MAX pfhgguguhfpfhGHAHHHHH#i was so confused allll this time why brushes always look different for me than what they're supposed to#'wow this brush is so jaggedy..really rather jaggedy...calling it the Jagged Cai Special..bringing it out for those jaggedy moments..#really quite jaggedy i must say...' and it's literally not jaggedy#but now i have to get used to how all those brushes that i'd gotten used to indeed look how they're supposed to finally. Alarming#I have simply been working out absolutely everything by myself for years and that's why my technical progress is slow#ppl say my progress is fast and i certainly have improved much since i began doing all this but#like..it took me a year and half to start using a program where i could Colour In The Lines aka the..whatever it's called. whatever..#just on my lonely confused solemn journey to express gay love better than yesterday.. -_- *picks up my pack n continues through the snow*#btw thank you sm for people's kind words enjoying my narumitsu art & fic over the christmas & new year period <3
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went from being "the cool dyke with the magneto icon and opinions about feminism and many hundred thousand note posts" to "the fucking beatles mutual again" and I will say this is 100% an upgrade I hate being broadly popular on here I need to be controversial with several dedicated haters but in a niche circle where we all know each other's names
#realizing this is maybe unhinged to say#however I'd rather deal with stupid beatles discourse instead of like#posts w hundreds of thousands of notes w the same repeated inane comment 100000k times#where I start getting so sick of repeating myself that I start feeling Violent#at least now it's always like. anons mad about john or One Person Being Dumb#like thank GOD#I've also deleted so many of my popular notes just bc the notifications are insufferable#so I don't even see the hell that's likely still happening in the notes#my notifications finally know peace
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✧ ‧˚₊ Starry Moodboard and...
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+ Starry Overstimulated Stimboard ִ ֗ ☆ ⁎·゚
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#WHAT STARTED OFF AS ME TRYING TO MAKE A PINTEREST BOARD FOR MYSELF FOR A CERTAIN... AU...#SPIRALED INTO ME GETTING A WHOLE NEW TIME CONSUMING OBSESSIVE HOBBY GODDAMNIT- /hj#LITERALLY WHY. LITERALLY GO AWAY- /nsrs /ref /hj /lh#(these boards are both not related to the au btw-)#i will NOT be taking reqs /gen /lh ; that's crashing's thing and i'd feel bad if i took their whole thing- ( ´ ᗣ ` )՞ /gen /srs#also bc they're so much better at making them/finding the resources for them and im just doing jackshit whatever- /gen#idk i think im just gonna do whatever i want with this newfound power(?.. not really XD) for now-#i have a few ideas in mind that id like to try and make but i think i might stick to making moodboards for them instead#just bc stimboards r so fucking hard to make (props to you crashing bc idk how you do this; this was so difficult for me-)#(im not happy with the colors/formatting of it and i dont think i ever will be- it feels really disorientating rather than calming-#-esp if i stare at it for longer than a few seconds/intently; its just imbalanced and a lot of different motion at once) /gen#also why'd i have to develop this interest literally right as ap exams start lurking around the corner.. ugh... ╥﹏╥ /gen /srs#pc rpf community#starry's sona(s)#starry's moodboards#rpf#pc rpf
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an idea is forming 👀
#please ignore the fact that i posted a list of wips to focus on less than 12 hours ago and am now starting an entirely new project xD#that's just how the brain works y'know???#and tbf i'd rather have 17 projects in progress bc i had too many ideas than like.. no projects and no ideas!#anyway GOOD MORNING this is what happens when i wake up at 7#wip#art wip#current wip#digital sketchbook#fields of mistria#march#fom march#i actually really love this sketch#the full concept is very good (if i can pull it off) but i think this is my new favorite march sketch#okay quit yapping; time for coffee~
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giving psych another go after having watched the first season and a bit a couple years ago before stopping because I hadn't really been feeling it
only like six or seven eps in this time, and I am enjoying it, and I would like to stick with it this time, but god, now I do remember why I gave up on it in the first place. for all the show has going for it (which is a lot!) so much of the tone (and shawn is usually the biggest offender) falls back on those really insufferable attitudes from the mid ’00s of like. hit on every woman you see, getting laid is always the biggest priority. kneejerk disdain for anything nerdy or "uncool." I'm a guy and that means I care about porn and sports and that's it
#like yeah it's fun when shawn gets blindsided by a woman (bc she's hot ofc) only to get a reveal later that she was the bad guy#but also I'd rather he just. treated women like people in the first place lmao#and I'm sure he does later! like everything I've seen of late series him and juliet looks good and intriguing#but we're starting from such a rough place. and like. is the show aware?#bc then you've got gus who doesn't conform to those same masculine behaviors (often to set up a punchline for shawn)#but gus himself doesn't feel like a punchline or stereotype. he feels well-rounded and is often validated by the circumstances#it's just bizarre. wondering if this is one of those cases where s1 of a show feels least tonally accurate#e.g. how it's initially pitched or what it plays up for viewership or attention vs. how it settles into itself down the line#but man I'm over s1 shawn. like I'm watching the convention ep and he's being so unnecessarily dickish and dismissive to gus and everyone#because it's nerd shit? it's uncool? this just feels like such an outdated sensibility#(which it is. it's 18 years old at this point. these sensibilities are now legal adults)#but I'm glad we as a culture moved past this energy and I'm ready for the show to do the same#psych#kayla posts
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....idk in a fandom this gigantic how are people already coalescing onto a handful of popular headcanons and scenarios that just become the baseline now, when the source material gives us literally limitless possibilities to work with
#the torrential flood of 'jayvik with 4 kids' content im getting on arcane twt is incredible rn#but i do feel like im sitting in a bit of a corner bc i feel like the only person at this point who doesn't hc viktor as trans sobs#there's obv absolutely nothing i have against it it's just become a surprisingly pervasive fanon view that it's actually difficult to avoid#i think at least half of fics in the jayvik tag are trans viktor lmao#not to say i don't read any that are. but it's just not really what im interested in#i fear it will become one of those fanon hcs that will just be accepted as fact and if you happen to not ascribe to it you'll be ostracized#i've even started to see 'don't mpreg this you better be talking about trans pregnancy' like hi. sorry but are you new here#half my interest in the ship esp postcanon stuff is the weird magic and monsterfuckeryness of it all#like how can you not explore interesting other ways of giving them kids. he's connected to the arcane. he might still be in herald form#who the fuck knows. if i see pregnant viktor i would honestly prefer it to be Weird and semi-nonhuman thats the cool shit#i just. idk. srs please im not trying to say anything bad about the trans viktor headcanon it's fine and im glad ppl see themselves in him#it's just. it is becoming rather inescapable. the 'castiel loves bees' effect yknow.#i really want to interact with this fandom and im trying to like. reply to people on twitter. and even more now it feels like#if my headcanons don't align to the popular fandom big names' then it's pointless. i have no 1-on-1 communication with anyone#in this fandom it feels very lonely. i watch everyone make great art and jabber on and i kinda just watch and wave from the corner#anyway i'll just keep imagining my weird arcane herald mpreg or w/e. it's fun. prob will never write it tho cause the fandom clearly#knows what it wants and that isn't it lol. i barely see any arcane herald fics which is WILD. like canon gave you a feast and you're#ignoring it in favor of just having viktor be human in everything. lowkey hydrogen bomb vs crying baby lmao#i can think of three postcanon fics that have arcane herald viktor and i hold onto them so tightly lol#but yeah. this goes for more than just trans viktor it's about 'all timelines all possibilities' in terms of what people write in fics#it's for the most part very...tame? in terms of creativity of concept? there's darkfic of course but.#not nearly enough in the way of Weird that i'd expect given what's actually offered in the source material#'go write it yourself' well im trying it's taking forever and also the fandom's made me hesitant to write anything weird bc it seems like#there isn't interest in it. like bro even the number of fics featuring mage viktor is insanely low#the number of viktor permutations we have to work with and the fandom opts for the easy ones almost every time. sad
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last week in dnd we had a fight with the big bad guy, who thinks that my character is on his side as she actively orchestrates his downfall, and his wife. i was about to use my classic antagonize spell so he fought his wife instead of my party members, but then i was like "wait that's like. bad. i don't like that, that's his wife" and my friends were like "sam it's dnd literally nobody thinks like that but you" but idc i still thought it was wrong to make this guy hit his wife. and so instead i threw a potion of aqueous form at the wife, rolled a nat 20, turned her into water, rolled another nat 20 so i wasn't detected doing this, and then had the boss guy pointlessly fight the water so my party members could get out of combat unscathed (this was always the plan: let him escape after tricking him into believing that the attack was orchestrated by the parliament he's been colluding with, so he will then turn on them and basically commit political suicide). my character then stepped out of her nat 20 stealth condition and helped the boss and his eventually not-water wife get away from the scene, reassuring him that my character was still on his side and everything would be okay. according to my group members, this is not how people usually play dungeons and dragons. sounds like a skill issue
#i didn't even think this one was that bad...#i've been called machiavellian at the table before and ngl i kind of enjoy my friends looking at me with horror about it#the plan for this entire attack/event was handwritten by me and was three pages long#assigning everyone a position and meticulously giving cues for the individual pieces so things would have the lowest chance of failing#had some bumps in the road but it worked pretty well#hopefully the political consequences are dire bc killing this guy isn't going to fix the systemic problem he represents#also i'd rather see him suffer publicly than just like. get hit by a sword really hard#all while he thinks i'm his trusted ally :)#what he deserves for framing my character as scapegoat at the start of the campaign. also for being an evil colonial business mogul
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hiiii posting my little plans for today bc why not !!!
♡ — start practicing my lip combos because uni starts in exactly a week and i want the thrill of dolling myself up everyday
♡ — cleaning off the polish i have on right now and then doing a little bit of nailcare. tomorrow i'll do a fresh coat hehe
♡ — doing more work on my little uni notion
♡ — reviewing my list for things i still have to buy (i remembered i don't have a toothbrush holder. or a new toothbrush)
♡ — watching a couple or more study videos because i need to be the brightest student that place has ever seen (justin sung the man that you ARE)
with god as my witness i will get everything on this list DONE and i will have FUN in the process
#starting off w lip combo practice bc everyone's still asleep and i'd rather not be walked in on LOL#anywayy wish me luck 🫶🏼#🪽 — just angelposting ༉‧₊˚.#girlblogging#this is what makes us girls#just girly things#this is a girlblog#just girly thoughts#just girly posts#girlhood#i'm just a girl#hyper feminine#girly things#pinterest girl#it girl#dream girl#femcore#femcel#the female gaze#girl blogger#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#🪽 — the dossier of an angel ༉‧₊˚.
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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ik that like, i make a lotta starcake stuff and i even treat it like a fandom thing at times. But i've come to learn that it being called "content" makes me feel weird. its. my self ship. its not a show, i'm just being silly in my corner. like i dont mind, per se, but i'd rather it not be called content. especially when i've struggled wit viewing my own self ship as content for others in the past
its just me kissing a cowboy, thats it klfslsdfds
#the cake doth speak#not mad at anyone but i'd rather it just be called “starcake” rather than “starcake content”#its a self ship not a movie#having struggled with it in the past bc i myself saw it as “content for other people” kinda soured my own view of my self ship#it wasnt until i took a step back to create stuff that wasnt “oh i need to make lore drawings” or “oh i need to make this complex”#and just make silly memes and fluffy drawings is when i started enjoying self shipping again#its not content. please. im making this for myself first and for friends to see second. i love sharing this stuff. its like showing my-#-friends in middle school lunch what i drew in class#so yeah just. mostly because of my own struggles refrain from calling it that#weird thing ik but its. gotten to me
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i put ark in the centrifuge
#and this one doesnt have horrible minecart noises bc i got vanillatweaks downloaded and got quieter carts with it#wish they were a BIT louder but i'd rather have too quiet than too loud#video#mine#this is where i was for the past like 3 hours btw. we started a survival world :]#had to goof off in creative first#it's not much rn and for some reason ''easy'' difficulty is lying. we are taking WAY more damage 😭#but hopefully we stick with it for a while. i wanna at least make a house#all we do is load worlds go caving a leave. i <3 cave
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if 2026 rolls around and i've not figured out a set course for dealing with my career woes (taking community college classes, making plans to continue education, switching jobs, literally ANYTHING...) please beat 🔨me 🔨with 🔨hammers........🔨🔨🔨
#i feel so stagnant and unhappy and trapped#by all rights i have a good enviable job#even if it doesn't pay fantastic#and i have a lot of free time that i am completely squandering#either i need to go whole hog into this career and do what i can to learn programming and higher intensity pipelines and time management#or i need to start changing my career like. now. and figure out 1) what to and 2) how to do it#i probably can even juggle it and my current job at the same time#which would be good#i also need to figure out if i want to stay here. move across the country. move to a different country. it kind of is important for that#i gotta travel to some of the places i'm interested in first to see if it's worth my time to lean into the process#bc i have essentially until 35-45 at the latest#it was a bit less overwhelming to approach when it seemed like i could have at least one person to fall back on in case things go wrong#but i don't wanna put pressure on anyone anyway i would rather live in a car if i have to bc i can't find a place for the night or w/e#i think loosely i wanna go on an international trip by end of '27 if like. things don't get crazy??? <:) that would be fun#and it'll be good to see how i fare#i'd like to see and experience more n make new friends. really put myself out there.#obviously i'm not wealthy so it's. tough. but. if i'm still with my same job i can probably take it with me now!!! yay!!#the being transgender and doing weekly shots definitely makes everything so needlessly complicated ugh#personal stuff
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Also slightly related to previous...I put in an application on a puppy 🫣
#my chances of getting one are really really low but. the breeder i really like had a larger litter than anticipated#but: I've officially decided not to go to the school i got into. more research suggests that any mobility struggle there will be punished#if i decided to apply elsewhere then it would be a year and a half before it starts#by which point baby will start to have a brain and maybe even start being useful#and bc i did that math and couldn't face another five years without a dog.#also bc i was looking at rescues charging NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS for heartworm positive pitbull mixes#so I'd rather traumatize the thing myself it will be cheaper damn#i have not raised a puppy as an adult and neither has my partner so it is a little scary#but only a little. bc I'm not getting one 🧿🧿🧿
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and here's several beans for people on FR 👍
#eye guy art#drawings#for others#commissions#this is probably not obvious to anyone else but#when i first started doing these for others i ended up drawing them bigger than the ones i'd drawn for myself#i think because i had trouble fitting in all the details (my own ocs have rather simple designs most of the time)#so with this batch i tried to make them a little smaller again bc i think it looks better.....
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saw a poll "how many books have you read so far this year"—and you know there's nothing wrong with tracking your reading and i get why it's popular to do. but oh my god. every time i see something like that, i'm like "thank god for my ocd's sake that i've never done that"
#i get moderately compulsive about counting and comparing things like page and chapter numbers in current-and-recent reads#i keep my list of things i want to read in the near future small on purpose#the ONE time i tried to make a reading list for a month. about a year ago. i hated it and i didn't stick to my own rules#lol#i officially have No Opinion on reading goals but i knoooow. without ever having done them. it'd destroy my love for reading#plus i'd feel like my number would be inaccurate of my reading experience bc i read shorter titles (plays) often#and how do you even count poetry? i do not read poetry books. like. cover-to-cover. nor do i usually wish to#but i still read lots of poetry#the fact that my reading is always spontaneous and self-motivated is what keeps me going#i agree w jared henderson's suggestion of having 'reading projects' rather than reading goals. that resonated with me rather#bc wanting to complete the plays of shakespeare was definitely an ongoing 'reading project' without me thinking of it as one#and after i finished those i wanted to do smth else. which is why i'm in paradise lost currently but taking my sweet time#like i'll finish one book (the sections are called 'books') and take a couple weeks to start the next#im looking forward to being done w pl but i'm only like 60 percent through it lol#i've kind of got several ongoing reading projects going on now that i think of it. some of which i abandon#read what you wanna read! never let yourself lose your love for reading#tales from diana
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all the starters are officially done!! starting tomorrow, i'm gonna aim to focus on replying to things in my drafts (& maybe some of the stuff in my inbox too... bc i have stuff for people i don't have threads with yet in there) and just like. try to get caught up so i can maybe stay on top of things for once?
#gonna comb through the older drafts a final time and clear a few more out i think.#atp i'd rather just completely drop old stuff & start new threads with everyone. i think that'll help me clear my head a lot.#there are a few select threads i have in mind that i'm gonna try to hang on to bc they're like. plotted and v significant events.#but i'm thinking everything else goes.#hoarding all these old drafts for so long just weighs me down and i'm tired of it!!!!!#anyway. i did a lot of writing today!! i'm proud of myself!!! now it's time to unwind a little with some gaming & yt before bed uvu#━━ ˟ ⊰ ��� ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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