#but i've been looking into something with less coding OR trying to teach myself

[rigelmejo]

learning to code!

When I was 9 years old, I learned enough html to code neopets pages, my own geocities websites, and I even made forums on my own sites so my friends could all roleplay together or rant together lol. And then? I forgot so much. I no longer no how to make a forum, or even a 'next page' button - so even the dream of just making a simple blog or webnovel site feels like a huge hurdle now. (9 year old me could probably figure it out in 2 hours).

So I'm relearning! I figured this would be a fun post to place resources I find for coding, since there's coding languages, and I figure maybe if you like running you're blog then you also might be interested in tools for making blogs!

First, for those of you who miss the old geocities and angelfire type of sites to make your own free site on: neocities.org

You can make free sites you can code yourself, the way 9 year old me did. A lot of people have made SUCH amazing sites, it's baffling my mind trying to figure out how they did, I definitely wish I could make an art portfolio site even a fourth as cool as some of the sites people have made on here.

And for those pressed for time, who aren't about to learn coding right now: wix.com is the place I recommend for building a site, it requires no coding skill and is fairly straightforward about adding pages or features by clicking buttons. I used it to make my art portfolio site, I am testing out using it for my webnovel - the alternative is Wordpress, but wix.com is letting me basically make a wordpress blog Inside my own site. It's very beginner friendly in terms of "how the fuck do I set up a 'sign up for updates' message and have my site actually email these people my novel updates?" and "I need a 4x20 grid of my art down the page, that lets people click the art to see it's information and make it bigger."

I did neocities.org's little html tutorial today, it's the part of html I DID remember (links, paragraphs, headers).

My next step is to go through htmldog.com's tutorials. They go from beginner, to intermediate, to CSS. Unlike many a coding tutorial I've seen, they explain what program on your computer you need to WRITE the code in and then how to save it and how to open it. (You'd think this isn't a big deal but I've been looking into how to learn Python for months and I can't find a tutorial explaining what fucking program to write my python in... notepad? do I need something else? I don't fucking know!! My dad finally gave me a printed textbook which supposedly tells you what to download to start... I learned C++ in college and for that you needed Visual Basic to code C++, so I figured I needed Something to Write the fucking python IN.)

[catwomanarchive]

What makes you dislike BTAS so much when it's where a lot of people, including myself, got introduced to BatCat?

oh lol i never want to ruffle anyone's sensibilities. i don't think btas is bad show at all. i think their depiction of catwoman, however, wasn't the best. it's not something that i myself picked up on until i read the comics and realized how completely different catwoman was depicted in the bronze age from what the show suggested about her tbh. and frankly, even in the 40-80s, some aspects of the dynamic were more progressive for selina in the comics than btas suggests. don't get me wrong, i do think the show does some interesting things with her and batcat as a ship, but the entire concept gets taken apart in tnba, so it's difficult to see the depiction as meaningful.

so, i think i myself didn't understand it until someone pointed it out to me during the time the hush movie released. a big problem with batman and catwoman's dynamic is that in adaptations of the dynamic, the writers of these shows refuse to let batman be portrayed as less than heroic at any point or as someone capable of being in the wrong. this, to me, is really boring. but as cute as the hush movie was for batcat's romantic relationship, the ending scene of that movie was fundamentally altered from the original scene in the comics where despite batman pushing catwoman away, it's catwoman who tells him that they work as a couple because they are who they are. meanwhile, the hush movie sacrifices catwoman's character and the relationship by making batcat look incompatible for one another and that catwoman can't be with batman because she doesn't understand his code of not killing, never mind you that SHE was the one preventing him from killing joker in the actual comic. why is catwoman's complexity now erased to make batman look all the more noble in comparison?

the dcau does this a lot. i don't mean to be nitpicky or expect batcat to be a 1:1 adaptation of their comic counterparts, but it was just weird that they outright made things up about selina out of the blue to make not just batcat but her as a character look less complex and it's something they also do with wonder woman later on that i intensely dislike. they're way too desperate to pigeonhole these women as love interests that they don't consider that batman was hardly the impetus for most of the things selina does in her life. (they also tried to walk back the romance altogether by claiming selina only loved batman and not bruce? why? she's not black cat) i think they go out of their way to make bruce far less understanding to other people's circumstances than his comics counterpart as well. i figure it's mostly because it's a children's show that they need these characters in place to teach kids morals - don't steal, etc. but what is the point if, for example, the only time selina tries to make meaningful change as an animal rights advocate by confronting a ceo who is doing unethical testing on animals, the narrative frames her as being in the wrong for taking on the same vigilante methods that batman has been using his entire career? (batman: gotham adventures #4) what is the point of making her someone who cares deeply about this issue if her relationship with batman is just him trying to get her to "behave." this in contrast to what i've actually found appealing about the relationship for most of the comics - that he quite literally doesn't prevent her from doing whatever the hell she wants, that selina's motivations for not stealing had little to do with him, and that bruce is all too willing to forgive almost any offense she makes against him. in the one instance in the comics that bruce doesn't trust selina and tells her to turn herself in for stealing, it's bruce and not selina who is framed as being in the wrong and selina gets rightfully upset with him and dumps him for not trusting her. it's actually ironic to me that dcau's version of batman cannot come to fully trust selina considering that his comic counterpart's hallmark is quite literally that he's the only one to have complete faith in her.

[scrapplescribbles]

happy pride again skittle squad!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

i would like to take this time to address any fellow christian conservative-raised queer kids on here who may be struggling with their identity and beliefs. i hope this helps someone. if you want to talk more, i'm happy to :)

ive thought about this a lot

in my seventeen years of being on this earth, i have known i was attracted to people of different genders for two of them. i've known i was genderfluid for one. and in that short time i have grown and changed in my beliefs and the way i perceive the world. i'm still catholic (more or less.) i'm also proudly queer. how did i manage this, you may ask?

a shit ton of thinking and praying and sobbing in the kitchen at 1am because of the knowledge that if my family knew what i was they wouldn't look at me the same.

i struggled for months with these two parts of myself that seemed to be at war with each other. they both said i was brainwashed. they both said i was wrong.

i was frustrated with myself. i didn't know what to believe anymore. it was always Them and Us. you're not one of Them. you know better. and i couldnt talk to anyone because they'd just tell me the same thing ive been hearing my whole life. i knew what i'd been taught. i didn't need to hear it again. it would just make things worse and me more confused. it would never explain why.

i always hated that about the way they teach catholic religion. "you can't understand. it's God's plan, and we can't ever really understand it." that doesn't mean i won't try. isn't that what we're supposed to do? ask questions? learn more? be hungry for the Word? i wanted more. why was everything so complicated? i thought we were supposed to be simple. i thought Jesus made it easier to understand. so why does no one listen to him?

but then it clicked.

love.

they tell you that you could be persecuted for being christian. but you know what i think? i think Jesus meant that the real christians who don't promote hatred toward The Other would be persecuted for not harboring malice in their hearts. because it's happening. pope francis said that gay people deserve to be part of a family, and some bigoted conservative said he wasn't a true catholic. the POPE. "not a true catholic." and francis was one of the good ones! (seriously there was a pope who ordered that all black cats had to be slaughtered because they were of the devil. the fuck?? and that is FAR from the worst thing a church official has ever done.)

they tell you to pick the harder path. huh. let's play a game of this or that, shall we?

THIS: get looked down upon by your family and loved ones for being who you are

or

THAT: be loved and accepted by your family for something youre not

hmmm that's a hard one ���

let's try again

THIS: get hate crimed and called slurs by bigots and a large part of society (specifically the ones with enough combined power and lack of moral code that can do you real serious harm and literally ruin your life) for being who you are

or

THAT: be accepted by society for being something you're not

see a pattern here?

no matter what you do, you will never be enough for them. change yourself, change the way you see yourself, change the way you think, and they still want perfection. that is impossible. not that you shouldnt try to be the best person you can be, but you simply can not be a perfect person. that's not possible.

you don't have to be perfect. just be good.

and you know what is good? God. you know a synonym for God?

love.

God is love. they say it all the time.

so love.

love others by accepting them. love others by respecting them. love others by wishing them nothing but good and supporting them through their suffering. this doesn't mean support every self-destructive action. it means be there. show them there is a better way. love others by helping them find peace and joy, wherever that may lie in their lives.

love yourself by not forcing yourself into a box and making yourself miserable trying to hide in the closet. coming out (WHEN IT IS SAFE!!!) frees people from chains of heteronormativity. transitioning saves lives.

when you live with love, you don't need to raise your hands to hold prayers aloft for a distant Creator. you don't need to be grand and proud to make yourself worthy. you just have to be for love.

you don't need to say God's name to do his work.

you can't lie to testify to the truth.

[johnslittlespoon]

It just makes so much sense that you were writing in 2013, you have the unhinged vibe that the golden fics from that era had.

I'm just here to compliment you really lol, mostly because I am giving a try to write a lil something for the first time and god I can only dream of ever being able to write as good as you. I've been writing poems and music for years now but i find writing actual coherent storys with characters and dialogue so so hard.

I was wondering if you have any tips, or like little rules you follow when you write.

all the love, xxx

🌷

I'M GONNA CRYYYY this was the sweetest thing in the world to wake up to wtf wtf <333 thank you SO much, i really appreciate this wahh my heart :'))) but also you are SILLY. don't compare yourself to others!! if we all did that constantly we'd never get anything written!! there are SO many authors i adore on here that will always have me chasing the "i wish i could write like that" feeling and it's a great motivator but alsooo at the end of the day. you gotta fall in love with your own words and characters and stories <33

and i feel that so much!! we are twinsss, i also started out writing poems and music and then realized i had stories i wanted to tell that wouldn't fit in shorter form, then discovered fanfic in middle school in the early '10s and it was all downhill from there LOL. truly such a golden era tho oh my god. growing up reading the hat fic and borderline illegible wattpad stories was certainly... formative!

yapping ahead vv (i don't have much advice bc i'm still just learning as i go but hopefully some stuff i picked up on can be a bit helpful!)

i have zero method to the madness when writing so it's a relief to know it doesn't come off that way LOL but i do have a few little things that i follow and i always look for them when beta–ing as well! they're pretty small technical things and they're generally up to personal preference, but some of them come from authors i admire and i think they can really take anyone's writing up a notch <3

i don't feel qualified to give advice because i'm just raw–dogging everything lmao i've never taken classes or anything, so take all this yapping with a grain of salt bc it's just what's worked for me!

– i try to use descriptors like "the man" or "the blond" or "his friend" etc sparingly. i wish i could remember the source, but i read a great piece about why it's better to just go with the character's name 99% of the time, and then i went through so many of my works to edit them and i felt so much more confident in my writing afterwards– it made a big difference in readability (imo).

ofc there are exceptions, like if the name of a character is unknown, or if there are too many names being thrown around in one sentence and a "the man" or "the soldier" etc just sits nicer. i definitely still use them occasionally! but it does sometimes put some distance between the reader and the story when those descriptors are used too often instead of names, so it's a good thing to keep an eye out for when it comes to flow. sometimes less or more or whateva ??

– sorta on the topic of less is more, i love challenging myself to show vs tell when i can! whether it's by keeping dialogue short and letting actions speak instead (can add to intimacy/realism– we communicate so much through body language yk), through metaphors (literally how my whole '#john egan is dog coded' fic was born LOL), or describing feelings rather than spelling them out (his heart ached vs he was sad, his pulse raced vs he was scared, you get the gist). you said you've been writing poems so i feel like stuff like that would already probably come easily to you tho! <3

– this guide on ao3 is great for smut writers! whether someone's a beginner or just looking for ways to elevate the filth, i found it really helpful, it's a fun read as well lol. it calls out stereotypes/cliches and teaches you how to reword them, gives lists of slang and reactionary words, do's and don't's, etc. i don't follow everything in it but that's the beauty of writing; we all have things that work for us and things that don't and that's so okay. :-)

– in the same way that artists use references to practice and find their style, you can do that with writing too! i know a lot of writers have a doc or note where they jot down stylistic things they find while reading that they'd like to emanate, or words they want to use, specific phrases, descriptors, etc. if i'm reading a fic and find an auditory descriptor i like, i might take note of it, stuff like that. sorta like a text document version of a pinterest board!

– thesaurus.com is my best friend truly. often going with the 'simplest' version of a word makes for smoothest reading so someone isn't taken out of the story being like wtf does that word mean lol but sometimes things can feel repetitive, or like there just needs to be a little bit more spice; i probs go back and forth btwn my doc and thesaurus a dozen times an hour tbh.

that's all i can think of rn and ik those are pretty basic so i'm sorry about that!! i really do just kinda write what evokes emotions in myself, and then i hit post and hope it translates over to whoever is reading too :') drawing from your own experiences if you can/really sitting with what the characters would be feeling in whatever scenario you're writing is probably the most powerful way to present what you see in your mind.

i have a hard time writing about emotions/things i haven't personally experienced, so i usually stray away from it out of fear of not getting across what i want to, but some people are great at winging it and putting themselves in unfamiliar shoes so!! it's again just personal preference really.

and alsooo be kind to yourself! i'm an anxious wreck every time i post any of my writing, i am very much not confident when posting new fics and i agonize over my docs so much and trash a lot of works, but i know at the end of the day i can't grow or learn if i don't get the words down, and i can't get feedback or gain confidence if i don't post. becoming your own hype man and giving yourself the opportunity to improve is essential <33

sooo much love and best of luck!!! lmk if you end up writing smth, i'd love to read it (◠‿◠✿)

[wirewitchviolet]

Wire Witch Hex - Wearing Many Hats (Font Design)

Lately most of the traffic I'm getting on this blog has been people stumbling onto my multipart series on how a computer works. Glad people are enjoying that as much as they seem to be. My reason for teaching myself all of that (besides just the joy of learning) is I'm very slowly working on designing a new video game console that anyone sufficiently motivated can build for themselves as a neat little DIY project. There are so many moving parts to this project that for now I'm focusing mainly on just the controller and its unique features. To avoid having to make a whole working console, with software, to test it, and make sure I have something to show for all this if the rest doesn't pan out, I'm designing the controller to also be more or less compatible with the NES and SNES (which secretly use the same input standard, just differently shaped plugs at the end of the cord).

This means all I'll need to test and demo my controller is an SNES ROM that knows what to do with my scroll-wheel outputs, a setup where an emulator accurately handles those signals, and later a cart I can slap a couple EEPROMs into and test on real hardware. Oh and I also need to teach myself enough about SNES development to actually create every demo I want to run, do all the art, code it up, and compile it. This is a big job, and I'm not getting paid, so maybe consider throwing me a little money before we dig into this?

Since... really the last time I reported in on this, I've been studying away trying to learn all this, and hey, have a compiled ROM image that'll display a blank screen in any color I want, and a third party program that IN THEORY with a bit of massaging will convert a 256x256 image into an SNES character ROM image. AKA the file with all the graphics. My ultimate goal for this demo cart is to cycle through several very simple games, showcasing how my controller works with each. So I need to cram every image any of these are going to need into my one big image file, which I'm slowly picking away at, but the one thing I knew from the start that I'd definitely need is to throw some text on screen explaining the controls for each demo. And since it's not like there's a built in font in in the system, I had to make my own.

This is not my first font-making rodeo. For this one, my thinking was, I'm going to be in a fixed 16x16 resolution per character (because I forgot the specifics of how the SNES actually tiles graphics), some built in spacing so I can slap them all right up against each other or some border and still be readable, and I wanted a nice little shadow built into every character in case they end up on a low contrast background. Let's zoom in on what I have here so far, in case you don't feel like downloading the file and blowing it up to something more readable.

The first thing I want to note is that after finishing the first 4 rows of characters here, I double checked, and while the SNES CAN break backgrounds into 16x16 tiles, the absolute minimum is 8x8. If I were really trying to be space efficient, I should have designed around that. Several of these characters would easily fit into a 16x8 space, that level of compression would also let me have just the period and comma and be able to build a colon, semicolon, or apostrophe from those, and most importantly, I rendered this with all of the lowercase letters exactly 1 pixel too tall to fit into a 16x8 space and let me double up there. Since I'm rather happy with this font so far and I'd eventually like to make some version of it available for, if nothing else, other people writing software for my eventual console here, I will likely, at some point, make a more space-optimized variation. I'd also like to cover a wider range of characters. At the very least, have some accent marks, wouldn't be too hard to add support for Cyrillic. Pretty sure I can get Japanese and Korean text in keeping with this look. Maybe some other languages. Anyway though, let's talk about what I've got.

My general design rule here was, where possible, make lines 2 pixels thick, and have each white pixel cast a black pixel shadow immediately below, to the right, and the diagonal between them. This gives a pretty convincing relief effect in my opinion, and keeping the shadows this thick keeps a nice firm edge there so it's even generally readable on a pure white background. Within each 16x16 tile, I was extremely strict about keeping a 1 pixel margin clear at the top and bottom of each image, and 2 or 3 on the sides (often 3 on the left, 2 on the right. With capital letters, I went with a generally rigid and blocky style, trying to stretch things to my arbitrary margins. Lowercase letters I restricted to just 8 pixels tall, and those featuring tails are given special permission to drop down an extra pixel, leaving the shadow right on the edge of their true bounding box.

While it wasn't an intentional move at first, several lowercase letters ended up with a decidedly rounded, squashed look, particularly g and q. I found that to be both kind of cute, giving the whole font a real unique character, and eventually started to actively lean into it (which may not be super obvious, I started with W as it's kinda the letter than needs the most breathing room and worked outward from there), and did my best to distort all the rounder shapes and in particular the highly mirrorable b d p q set, as I seem to recall once reading the more you avoid identical shapes with those, the more legible the font becomes for people with dyslexia. Similarly, I made a point of distinguishing the shapes of the Ms and Ws, and added a little whimsy to the numerals. Overall I'm super happy with all the lowercase letters (except for e and s being too thin, but that was an inevitable compromise), and if I ever have the time to kill it's very likely I'll revisit this someday and apply this squishy rounded aesthetic to the capitals too.

Your eyes were probably drawn really quickly to the parentheses here, where for at least the moment I'm breaking my rules about blank space and shifting them inward quite a bit rather than centering them. That's going to look really bad if I use them in a sentence (like this), but the main reason I'm including them right now is so I can list button prompts with both the icons representing what's actually going to be on my controller, and the SNES buttons sharing the same signals. So something like: "GO (A) Jump" and I think the half-spacing and closeness to what they enclose will look pretty nice in this one specific case.

As a final note, the particular hardware I'm working with absolutely supports the ability to mirror any image horizontally or vertically, as well as change the palette. If I truly wanted to cram letters in as efficiently as possible at this font size, I could, for instance, have an 8x8 right-angle segment, build a whole H just from mirroring that, also use it for the legs of the A, P, F, the left side of the D, etc. This however is incompatible with the shadows I'm using for extra readability. And of course for other projects I HAVE made a perfectly legible 8x8 font before.

I'm pointing this out because hey, if you do the math, JUST these characters I've set aside for having arbitrary on-screen text, as is, are consuming 5/16ths of my total graphical memory, and I'm probably never even going to display most of these anywhere. Again, not a huge problem for the simple demo pack I'm making, and that 256x256 drawing space isn't a hard limit. Spending an extra processor cycle to change an index value and access a whole other page of image data is a pretty common practice on the hardware, but especially with older computers and racing to get things ready to draw before a screen refreshes, it's good to at least be mindful of the tradeoffs with that sort of thing.

And again, my sole source of income at the moment is patreon donations, so if you're excited about seeing updates to this weird project of mine or you're learning useful things from any of it, maybe consider throwing me a little support?

[beckmessering]

Hey, new to your blog and to opera, and first of all I want to thank you for sharing all your informative, comprehensive and entertaining takes with us. Theatre fandom is so much richer for it! Secondly, I wondering if I might trouble you for some resource recommendations and some advice r.e. understanding opera technically and artistically as a newcomer to the genre. Myself, I only have highschool/College rudimentary orchestral (flute) skills and sadly cannot write music, sightread or sing well (would love to and have tried in the past to teach myself, but it's very difficult and hasn't...really taken well), so while I enjoy so much of the opera music to which I've been exposed, I feel so much is going over my head. What's more, though I have a theatre degree and poetry qualifications, my background is more performance Art and modern non-musical stage, so again I feel I'm missing so much nuance as I take in opera and the glitzy mad world around it. One of my tentative goals is to one day write a libretto, so it's important to me to figure it all out, however I know this will potentially be a long process. The podcasts Opera After Dark and Aria Code have helped somewhat with my understanding, but more knowledge and simpler breakdowns can only help more. Am interested in particular to know how you'd approach educating someone in opera, as you are so well-versed. In about a month I'm going to a screening of Rheingold, which is very much the scary deep end for me (I'm a fluffy French opera fan), so I'd like to go in forearmed haha. Thank you so much for reading and for your content, looking forward to the new season!

hey hey! first of all, sorry for taking half a century to respond to this ask - this is so sweet of you to say, i'm really touched 🥹

about the advice - first, to all the opera friends who see this, feel free to reblog with your own advice and ideas! i don't feel like the most qualified advice giver (lol) because for much of my knowledge, i don't quite remember how i got it. i played classical piano for twelve years, but i never "properly" studied operas anywhere, so most of my learning is and was autodidactic. i think i spent a lot of time on the internet reading interviews with my favourite singers. i also once joined an opera club/society at my university, where i learned more about practical aspects of rehearsals and performing. if you have the chance, going to any kind of open rehearsal is also great to learn about how music, staging, and acting end up together. then, it kind of depends on what you specifically want to discover about the operas you hear, whether it's music theory or aspects of stagings, etc.

i think i can say a bit, though, about how to approach a first-time rheingold (or a first-time wagner?). the most important thing is: the veil of seriousness that seems to surround wagner operas does not exist. at least it doesn't exist for me. it can be no less funky and fun than any other kind of opera. especially rheingold.

it depends a bit from which side you're more prone to approaching something: if you enjoy analysing music to get closer to it or if you feel you have to get closer to it first in order to want to analyse it. i am of the second type, which means i try to drop all worries before going to see something new and approach it with a "yeehee fun!!" mindset. something i find extremely worthwhile in wagner operas, especially because the words and the story are so old, is putting yourself in the characters' shoes and treating them as if they were real people. this helps if you tend to look at everything through the emotional lens - feeling emotionally close to the story in some way, either through understanding the relationships or properly relating, can help with appreciating the music and developing an understanding of why it was written this way. i'm no huge music analyst by choice myself, though, i have to admit. however, rheingold specifically is a very fun opera because it illustrates its own setting quite nicely with the music - there's a lot of atmosphere in the music and there's a lot of tone painting going on, like music that sounds like diving through a river, giant threatening footfalls, sounds of a smithy, and such. several of these reappear multiple times throughout the opera, so one thing i enjoyed playing around with while and after my first ring cycle was this playlist:

it has all the ring leitmotifs the heart desires and it's quite fun to play auditory bingo with them - you can either listen before you go or afterwards and then check out a recording.

as you were in orchestra, perhaps buying/borrowing a score and reading along would also be an option for you? i do this only for the works that really, really interest me, but i feel it does wonders for the amount of things i hear in the music, especially for wagner, because sometimes you can recognise motifs by sight on the page first and then you actually hear them better. i'd suggest doing this after the screening, though, if you liked it.

i'm not sure if this advice is any good, lmao - if you have any more questions, absolutely don't hesitate to be in touch! :) hope that rheingold goes well (which one will you be seeing, btw?) and i'd be curious to find out your opinion at the end!! :D

[marlowedobbeart]

Daydream Skies: Devlog #2

HELLO I just wanted to share some progress I've been making on my Gamemaker game I've been chipping away at in my free time :) For those unfamiliar, I've been working on a pirate RPG with a grid-based battle system for almost 1 year (!!!) and it's been a real treat to kind of teach myself coding and do a gamedev thing completely solo! As an artist, I've been trying my best to hold off on doing *too* much art and polish up front. This last year has been mostly me building under-the-hood systems so that I can get to a point where I will be 90% focused on content and 10% focused on functionality. I know that when I get to the art, I can handle it, it's all the other stuff that's new to me! SO since last time we spoke, I've checked off a lot of boxes on my monolithic whiteboard of things I need to make a playable demo. (monolithic whiteboard pictured below)

The thing that took me the longest to implement was a menu system. I couldn't quite find any examples or tutorials on how I wanted my menus to work (mostly had a hard time finding anything with decent scrolling for options) and I more or less conceived of and coded my own menu system, The menus have lots of nice variable definitions :'^) so they're pretty flexible for what I need.

I'll have to do a bit of tweaking later on if and when I need to scroll through options horizontally or need multiple columns of options but that's a problem for later marlowe!!!

Also I perfectly understood everything about the Menu system I created except one line:

After all that math I was surprised to find that it was fairly straightforward to rough out an inventory system and pause screen that allows me to collect and use items (as well as look at player stats!)

Looking at everything I'd done so far it was becoming obvious that my key input handler was not working 100% of the time and was getting pretty messy. I came across Juju Adams Input Library and was able to not only fix my keyboard inputs but also integrate controller support in like 5 minutes. I LOVE when someone else does the work for me :'^) Huge shoutouts to juju for making what felt like a monumental task into something simple. Another unglamorous progression: save files!

ME? CREATING JSONS? I never would have thought. The greatest part is they are completely unencrypted so excuse me while I edit my jsons to give me 99999 HP. AND FINALLY something actually fun to look at: I penciled out Davy's walk animation so I can soon stop using duplicates of Trixie's sprites for him.

I am very excited to be getting close to the point where all I have to do is make content and art and not make a bunch of systems. I'm looking forward to using the Finish Your Game Jam that PIGSquad is hosting on itch in November to polish up the combat system and make a few enemy variations. After that, I think I'll be working on a lot of fun, showy stuff that I can share >:) Watch this space! -Marlowe

[grison-in-space]

You know, before I got bit, everyone told me that werewolves were uncontrollable killing machines. My Nana always said you shouldn't believe everything you hear, of course, but it's not like I was just taking the word of the creepy fortune teller lady at the traveling carnival or something. I've read the peer reviewed articles and the historical documentation. I've done my research.

I mean, it was three weeks after I got bitten by the werewolf that got loose. It's not as if I didn't have time. I understand that the first bite of lycanthropy always takes longer to heal, the slow virus of it crawling from muscle to neuron up to my spinal cord, making itself at home in my nervous system. For me, mostly that meant my field season was unceremoniously over. It's a shame, because I have to teach during the long semesters and therefore can't get time to collect samples and take recordings for my research over the regular school year, but shit happens. Remind me to tell you about what happened to Dimitri's first field season with the voles, one of these days.

Right. The werewolf.

I would have liked to ask the werewolf about the change ahead of time, but. Well. They shot her. Tranquilizers don't work well on werewolves — something about the warping of the opioid receptors, and the less said about ketamine the better — so protocol for an escapee is to aim for the center of mass with lethal ammunition, so that you can minimize the collateral damage. Yikes. No, thanks, I'll lock the bars on the cell that the nice people from the CDC came to install for me like a good little egghead. I'm still using the contents of my skull, thanks, and it's hard to do that if you get spattered across the wall by trigger-happy commando wannabes dying to get to take all their military LARPING gear out for a spin.

Anyway. So I had some time on my hands, waiting for my mangled calf to heal up. There's a vaccination for being a werewolf, but I didn't manage to stumble into town fast enough for it to be effective, so. Well, it's not like I haven't dealt with shit before. You get used to tucking things under your hat, you know? There's no room for weakness in this dog eat dog field.

Wolf eat dog? Dog eat wolf? Whatever, I'll workshop that one later. Anyway, if you're having a migraine day, there's nothing for it but grit your teeth and power on through if you want to get anything done. And I always want to get things done.

So I did a lot of reading while I waited for the moon to change. I wanted to be prepared and work according to best practices, you know? Fuck knows I've been around the block long enough not to trust an expert to actually be an expert on my body, so knowledge seemed like the best avenue for control.

Still, I wasn't entirely expecting it when I opened my eyes after the hair had finished coming in and my pelvis had cracked itself into a new shape and my hands curled into claws....

... And I still more or less just felt like me. Sure, I had one bear of a headache, and the raw meat I had carefully packed into a series of puzzle toys beforehand smelled considerably better than it had any right to, but look, that's not even close to the weirdest thing I've ever put up with.

I hadn't really expected to be bored, though. The next day I tucked a couple of journal printouts when I went downstairs to change, and then a couple more. Dissociation isn't that bad, as strategies to cope with suddenly having massively disoriented sensory signals go. I was able to puppet myself around the room just fine when I relaxed enough to try.

It turns out, by the way, that the finger oils people leave on the keypad make it really easy to tell which numbers go into a given pass code. Did you know that there are only 64 permutations of a four-digit password? Really made it easy to get out.

It turns out that you can cover quite a ways if you're eight foot tall and you can move equally well on two feet or four. It looks like I might get to finish that field season after all, tell you the truth...

"Oh no, this goofy monster virus mutates you into a gnarly beast with an insatiable hunger for human flesh" and then the goofy monster protagonist is able to master their cannibalistic impulses not because they have superhuman willpower or special genes, but because prior to being mutated they were the most repressed human being alive.

[rphelperblog]

Bloodlines Book Quote Rp Meme

book one in the series of the same name by Richelle Mead- feel free to edit or change any pronouns for rp purposes- inspired by @ivashkinator​  

“Takes a lot of tries before you hit perfection. Well, except for my parents. They got it on the first try."

Your eyes. How have I never noticed them?"

"The color, when you stand in the light. They're amazing... like molten gold. I could paint those... they're beautiful. You're beautiful.

“You should've just gotten a kids' meal. You could've saved me a lot of money. And gotten a toy.” 

“You are an exceptional, talented, and brilliant young woman. Do not ever let anyone make you feel like you're less. Do not ever let anyone make you feel invisible.” 

“You look too pretty to be useful." 

"I'm serious. She asked me what my greatest strength was. I said getting along with people."

"Then she asked what my greatest weakness was. And I said, 'Where should I start?'"

“I want her to be happy. It's worth sacrificing myself."

“But I can say you’re okay for an irreverent party boy with occasional moments of brilliance.”

“I used to think you were weak and just didn't fight back ... but now, honestly, I think you're actually pretty tough. It takes a hell of a lot of strength to not complain and lash out.” 

"These hands don't sully themselves with fighting.” 

“Everything's about my personal entertainment. The world is my stage. Keep it up- you're becoming a star performer in the show.” 

“Being charming is my hobby.” 

“So. Are you guys here to convert me or sell me siding?” 

“I can pick a lock. How do you think I got into my parents' liquor cabinet in middle school?” 

"And that's been more than enough. The only thing keeping me alive is that he keeps a hefty supply of liquor on hand. But at the rate I'm going, that'll be gone by the weekend. Jesus Christ, I'm climbing the walls.Oh. Sorry. No offense to Jesus.” 

"Am I interrupting your social calender?" I made a big show of glancing around the empty room. “

"You're a saint. A goddess, even.” 

"I don't think I've ever heard her laugh,"

“My name's Jet Steele.” 

iggest cheerleader would be someone who thought I was evil and unnatural.” 

I like Latin. It's fun.”

“History is important because it teaches us about the past. And bylearning about the past, you come to understand the present, so that you may make educated decisions about the future.” 

 I can't believe you think we're the strange ones.”

"When you said he was looking for a job, I pictured a male version of you. I figured he'd want to color code the cups or something." 

All guys mean the same thing when they want to ‘get to know a girl better.’ You’re a wellbred young lady, so I understand why you’d be too innocent to understand. Good thing you’ve got me here to interpret.” 

“I don't suppose that she just gave you the job based on looks alone?" 

"I don't want to keep you from the mob of fans beating down your door."

"Hey, a guy can hope. I mean, it's not impossible that a car full of scantily clad sorority girls might break down outside and need my help.”

“I don't suppose that she gave you the job based on looks alone?"

“I just rely on natural talent, when you have such a wealth of it to draw from, the danger comes from having too much.” 

“Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it'd be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire.” 

“Do you know anything about silent films?”

“Oh. Okay. Well, um, there’s a silent film festival downtown next week. Do you think you’d want to go?”

“What is it with you and frozen desserts Why do you always want them?"

"Because we live in a dessert.” 

“You’re a solid person. You’re easy on the eyes, if a little skinny, and your ability to memorize useless information is going to totally hook in some guy.” 

“They're waiting for you. Go on in.If. You. Dare.”

“These hands don’t do manual labor.” 

He became about one percent less tense.”

“It's like living in a retirement home! Clarence is taking a nap right now, and he eats at five. It's so boring."

"Yup. What I did was tantamount to treason in their eyes."

"I don't know what 'tantamount' means, but it sounds pretty serious.”

have you ever dated a human girl at your school?"

“I changed my mind,I'll take you up on helping me get a job."

I almost swerved into oncoming traffic.” 

“But maybe fun wasn’t so bad once in a while.” 

"But . . . it's complicated. I've been taught certain things my entire life. Those are hard to shake."

"The greatest changes in history have come because people were able to shake off what others told them to do.” 

She's all he sees when he closes his eyes. Flashing dark eyes and a body full of fire and energy. No matter how much he tries to forget her, no matter how much he drinks . . . she's always there. He can't escape her.” 

“It wasn't the kind of touch that said, Hey, I've got a plan, so hang in there because we're going to get out of this. It was more like the kind of touch that simply said, You aren't alone. It was really the only thing he could offer. And in that moment, it was enough.” 

Last I checked, you aren’t an expert in social matters..."

“Besides, I already knew you didn't have any moral qualms about breaking and entering.” 

“Also, I didn’t trust any guy who used more styling products than I did.”

"At least I take action. You? You let the world go by without you. You have no spine. You don’t fight back."

"It was irresponsible! Why can't anyone see that?"

"But that bitch had it coming.” 

“You don’t know what it’s like to love someone like that, then to have that love thrown back in your face—” 

She was like a tropical flower in this dark, stuffy room. One that could kill you.”

“I went to bed feeling melancholy, wishing I could have poured out all my fears and insecurities to my mom. Wasn’t that what normal mothers and daughters did?” 

"You already have, and that's why i've got the advantage. You've done your worst but you haven't seen what i can do yet.” 

“I smell the paint, and . . . wait . . . is that pine?”

“Damn straight. Pine-scented cleaner. As in, I cleaned. With these hands, these hands that don’t do manual labor.” 

“As much as I hated to admit it, I kind of looked forward to seeing him. It made no sense, but something about his infuriating nature made me forget about my other worries. Weirdly, I felt like I could relax around him.” 

“Along with not knowing what it felt like to be in love, I also didn’t know how long it took to recover from love.” 

“No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.”

“Bad enough,but everyone’s okay now; that’s what matters.” 

“I really don't care what you do, but maybe it'll keep you busy enough that you'll stop coming over here unannunced and throwing yourself at creatures of darkness.” 

“You've deprived yourself of enjoyment for most of your life. You're aloof from others. You've never let yourself be selfish, and look where it's got you. Your 'morals' have left you with a short, strict life. Can you tell me now, just before you're about to die, that you don't wish you'd maybe allowed yourself an little more fun?” 

“...I can say you’re okay for an irreverent party boy with occasional moments of brilliance.”

aren't you guys supposed to have uniforms? This looks like what you usually wear.” 

“Is it really so terrible being around us?"

“Not sure I would’ve been alive for their rescue if you hadn’t set that bitch on fire. How did you do that?” 

[demonslayedher]

I lost a bet to myself and paid the price by making another demon sibling AU. Was originally just going to be headcanons and doodles, but I wound up writing the parts I felt like. The names of Tengen's siblings are entirely made up. This will come in two parts due to length.

Clicking each bone in his spine, Yogen stood to his full height, taller than Tengen remembered. It wasn't uncommon to go long periods of time without seeing his siblings when they were on their own missions, but Yogen shouldn't had changed that much. "I'll spare you. It wouldn't do for the Uzui clan not to have a head. Now you're the strongest one."

"...Yogen..."

"I wouldn't had been able to take you on, if not for the fact that you'd never have done it if you knew. You should thank me, Aniki. You know what I've spared you? Father was going to make us all have a fight to the death. You'd have done at least half of this."

"What have you done!?"

"I ate them," he laughed, something Tengen had never heard Yogen do in his adult voice. He had the most infectious laugh when they were children, and this rang with the same pleasure, however dissonant. "I was stunned too, at first. When I came to, I had eaten two of them, they were still warm in my mouth, their cells already nourishing mine. But you know what? I decided to eat the others. I was going to kill them anyway, what difference does it make that I should eat them?"

Tengen's face pearled back into a snarl, his eyes flaring.

"One, two, three... Eizen got away before I could bite him, though. That whelp would had done nothing for me. The one I really wanted to eat was the strongest," he said, his glowing white eyes shifting down to their father's fresh corpse. "And now, even he's nothing to me."

Tengen could stand no more of this. "Yogen!!" he screamed and gripped one of the swords at his back, and charged at Yogen all in one motion. A hard sickle burst out of the flesh of Yogen's arm and caught it, but when Tengen pulled his other sword down through Yogen's shoulder and chest, the sound of ripping sinews what different than it should had been. A look over to the injury revealed that the shoulder was repairing itself before Tengen's eyes. When had he learned any technique like that?

The momentary lapse in focus caught him, Yogen swiped up against Tengen's forearm. It felt too varied to had been spiked knuckles--those were his fingertips, he had grown claws. Tengen drew a sword up to lop off Yogen's forearm, and then his brother let out a shrill scream as his features lit up and revealed how contorted they had become. Yogen didn't look human anymore with how his veins bulged and burned. Burned? From what? Tengen took a look over his shoulder to the sun rising and casting light through the wide open door, and when he looked back, Yogen was gone.

---

Tengen watched the flames consume the house and the bodies of his slain family. He had combed it for any trace of Yogen, but his brother left none. Hope though he did that the flames may consume Yogen too, he knew in his gut that he was still out there.

Behind him, Suma sneezed in a gust of smoke that wafted into her face. Hinatsuru handed her a handkerchief, as she and Makio were already covering their faces in case of poison. Tengen didn't bother, he was resistent to most ninja poisons, and the scratches down his forearm were already less swollen. "You three should go back to your homes."

"No!" insisted Suma.

"We're already members of the Uzui clan," said Hinatsuru.

"Your revenge is ours," added Makio.

Hinatsuru made the most important point, they were already seen as his property. He could hear whispers and feel them all being watched; the other ninja clans knew what had befallen the most powerful family, and the Uzui name was now shunned. Even if Tengen wanted to stay, he had no place in the village, and neither did anything that belonged to him. The only thing left for him now was to track his brother down and drag him to hell.

Someone else was approaching, and Tengen reached for one sword. Uneven footsteps. One didn't have the splat of a foot, it was the thunk of wood--a cane, or two canes? A leisurely, but determined pace. Self-assuredness, even for entering ninja territory. A robust heartbeat. Who was coming?

"Well, is that what you all look like? I feel like I've wandered into one of those storybooks," said an old man. He had one missing leg, a full head of hair and moustache to rival it, a grin, and a telltale scar lining the underside of his left eye. "I had always left your kind alone, but I couldn't when I felt the presence of a demon over here."

"Who are you?" Tengen asked, stetching one arm before his wives while the other hand stayed at his weapon.

"You didn't chop its head off, did you, ninja boy? It's long gone by now, you know. It'll hide from daylight. Be even more trouble to find if it's one of your folk."

"How do you know about us?" Makio shot back.

"How do you children not know about demons? Aye," the old man huffed to himself as he set down a stool he carried. He planted his rump on it, then folded his arms. "The name's Kuwajima Jigoro, former Roaring Pillar of the Demon Slayer Corp. I figured this would be out of your expertise, so I've come to help."

Tengen felt in his gut he could trust that. He dropped to one knee and bowed his head, his wives all doing likewise behind him. Jigoro seemed to enjoy that, but insisted they do not. Instead of bowing, he'd appreciate the ladies rubbing his shoulders to display their gratitude, he said.

While Hinatsuru and Makio set about at each arm, Suma kneeled at his remaining foot with a gasp. "Aren't old people not supposed to be this beefy?"

"Can it, Suma!" chided Makio.

Hinatsuru said nothing, but could feel something was different in this man, not only in his physique. Whatever he had to say was going to change their lives more than the previous night already had. They all listened carefully as Jigoro orated about the existence of demons, how they eat humans, how they are near impossible to kill, but also the methods of those who hunt them, with specialized blades and an organization to support them. As he began describing Breath, however, Tengen stopped him. "I already know all that, that's ninjutsu basics. That's not giving me anything I don’t already have."

"Oh? I figured as much. Always made me curious about you pups. So you you've got the basics of Breath technique, huh?"

"It's beyond basic," he shot him an annoyed frown.

"I'll be the judge of that. See that tree over there? That's probably about the strength of the usual demon neck. Go hog wild on it." As much as showing off was against the ninja code, Tengen wasn't in the mood to argue and made short work of that tree, the only sound being the pop of it seperating into two halves. Jigoro gave him a clap, then stood with his cane. "Good accuracy. Spot on. Now you pick one out for me. Take some mercy, though, I'm only working at half-strength." He balanced on his foot and his peg, plopping the end of his cane in his palm to show off that he meant to use it in place of a sword. Tengen hated when other people tried to be show-offs, so he pointed to a tree a few rings thicker than the one he had cut.

The old man eyed it, then slid his good foot through the dirt, and as he leaned forward, clouds of steam rose from his lips. "Breath of Thunder, Fifth Form. Heat Lightning."

The sound hit Tengen so hard that he covered his ears, and the old man was gone--on the other side of the tree, which was not only cleanly chopped, but split itself in half vertically as it fell. A rarity, Tengen's jaw dropped. Jigoro looked back with a fierce grin, knowing he'd have left them all impressed.

Rather than one knee, Tengen planted his palms and face to the ground. "Please teach me this technique, Master."

"When did I ever say I wanted a student like you? You already said you know Breath technique, don't you?"

"You won't teach him?" Suma sat straight up, little tears in the corners of her eyes.

"I only want students with talents I can mold. You're already set your ways and would just try to make Thunder Breathing into what you want. You can't fill a full tea cup, as they say."

Tengen wanted to insist he's do anything to take his revenge, but the old man was right. As he was, he wouldn't be able to unlearn everything he always knew, it was as much a part of him as every experience and memory, like every scar, such as the ones running down his left arm.

"The true nature of Thunder Breathing would escape you, you'd get too caught up in how powerful it looks. You're too flashy!"

His cheeks flushed. "Say that again."

"You're too... flashy? I don't think a ninja should find that a compliment."

"You can't tell him all that and then not train him!" insisted Makio. "Please! There's got to be something you can do! Tengen-sama works really hard!"

"Tengen-sama works harder than anyone!"

"Please, Master. Tengen-sama can think flexibly, please give him a chance."

"I won't! I can already tell he's not the sort of student I'm looking for!" he barked back, and Suma burst out into sobs, while Hinatsuru hid delicate tears and Makio's face turned dark red. Jigoro flinched at the sight of the upset girls, then looked back to Tengen. "I--I didn't come out here to leave you high and dry, you know. I already told you about the Corp, didn't I? That's where you really need to go. I can't teach you Thunder Breathing, but if you really think you can pick up something new, there's an old scroll I've got of an off-shoot Breath. Someone like you might be able to pull it off. What do you say, ninja boy? How about I give that to you and you teach yourself Sound Breathing?"

---

From there, Tengen took much the same course as in canon. When he became a Pillar and had his meeting with Oyakata-sama, he was upfront about his reasons for entering the Corp. Oyakata-sama appreciated his frankness and assured him that the entire Corp would support him if they found any information on Yogen, but Oyakata-sama was also keen on the undercurrent of Tengen's heart; that he was relieved to leave the murderous ways of ninja, and that he wanted to live an upright life. This finally gave words to something Tengen always felt, but thought he had no right to wish for. He and his wives were moved and they swore loyalty to Oyakata-sama.

However, as time went on, there were no clues whatsoever about Yogen. Around the time they all got antsy, Makio finally couldn't stand it anymore and suggested they may never find him. "Think about it," she said. "This Corp is full of strong swordsmen. Someone might had already chopped off his head long before we got here."

While that should had come as a relief, Tengen couldn't help but find the idea frustrating. That revenge was his to take. He could think of only one person stronger than him who might had done it, so he described Yogen to Himejima one day and asked if he remembered seeing a demon like that. Himejima plainly replied that he was blind.

As they began to accept that they may never have closure, Hinatsuru proposed that they be satisfied bagging an Upper Moon. That should be enough for them to earn their peace, she said, and as much as it grinded away at Tengen's heart, he agreed.

In the course of performing Tengen's Pillar duties, they closed in on what was likely an Upper Moon in Yoshiwara. Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma slipped in, but when he lost contact, Tengen went looking for some female Corp members to sneak in and see what was up. That's when he reencountered the boy whose head he meant to spill at the last Pillar meeting, as well as his two annoying buddies. Inosuke would had been satisfyingly flamboyant, if not for the fact that he was gross. The other whelp was named Zenitsu.

"You write that 'Zen' with the kanji for virtue?"

"Yeah. What's it to you?"

"Nothing," Tengen replied, never saying anything of it ever again. It didn't take long for him to notice that Zenitsu had ears on par with his own.

The boys managed to get in, and soon the plan went awry. Tengen's first encounter with an Upper Moon broke out, and that went awry in the most horrifically flamboyant of ways. Tengen found himself unconscious, needing to stop his heart to keep the demon poison from spreading, as it was many times more potent than any ninja or demon poison he encountered before. There was fire in the wreckage nearby, he'd be consumed if he doesn't move soon. In the odd space where consciousness was returning to him, his hearing reached into a deeper plain, where he could hear the most carnal thoughts pounding though the bodies of those around him.

Tanjiro was panicking.

No scent! No scent! Upper Moon Five--where did--but--no scent! No scent!!

Tengen could hear Upper Moon Six, in both bodies, but he couldn't hear any other demon. It gave off no sound. He struggled to look in Tanjiro's direction, and was stunned by the sight of a demon partway sticking out of the shadow Tanjiro has cast, guarding Upper Moon Six with a kunai stuck in his arm.

"Sakage!" growled Upper Moon Six. That is not the demon's name. "I don't need you here! Were you intruding on my thoughts?"

"I didn't need to. I heard the cacophony from ages away. You wouldn't had seen wisteria coming anyway."

Upper Moon Six looked to the kunai, while Tanjiro panicked that the poison had no effect on the newly arrived demon.

"Quit with all the fuss. I'd appreciate it if you hurry up and silence that Pillar over there," he turned his glance to Tengen. His eyes had writing in them, but that was Yogen. "I can't be bothered."

Yogen disappeared into the shadow as suddenly as he appeared, and Tanjiro fell forward with a stumble. He'd be a sitting duck like that, Tengen had to go save him, he pushed himself off the ground to--but--but his arm was missing--the scars were torn off-----

---

Yogen had been quick to learn some of the ins and outs of being a demon, but not all the finer details. He gathered from the surrounding demons' fear of the drum demon that the "Twelve Moons" were the most fearsome demons, closest to their progenitor, but didn't those other demons notice that the drum demon couldn't stomach humans as he ate them? That demon was weak, and Yogen wouldn't stand for it. He cut off his head.

It did not kill the demon, who screamed at him with the characters "Lower Six" in one of his eyes, but he shut up quick when Kibutsuji Muzan arrived. Despite warning Yogen that this was not how fights between demons were done and he should kill Yogen for acting without permission, Muzan smilingly decided to allow it, and instructed him to absorb the former Lower Moon Six and assume his role. Muzan did not care for how Yogen's name referenced sunlight, though. He renamed him Sakage on a whim.

Sakage went on to learn very quickly how to please Muzan, and how to climb the ranks. While not immune, he could resist wisteria poison, which Muzan was more than pleased to borrow from him and see how he could try to adopt it into his own cells. Sakage could move between connected shadows, and in spying on the Corp, he picked up on the hand signs the swordsmen used and quickly deciphered them, and openly reported so to the demons that outranked him. With hearing far more advanced that his brother's ever was, he listened to the information shared between crows, piecing apart their language to the best of his understanding.

Lower Moons Three and Two later, he used his spying abilities to identify his next target: Upper Moon Five.

Gyokko was startled by the challenge, and under Muzan's gaze, he could not refuse. Sakage made short work of him, and the other Moons all felt a chill. Akaza's chill was excitement.

Akaza wasted no time in chatting up the new Upper Moon, for Sakage likewise had a stated hatred for weaklings. While Sakage did find it a bit of a bother, especially since he knew he was a long way from ever being able to pose a real challenge to Akaza, he learned that the quickest way to stop Akaza from pestering him was to spar. Akaza loved to chit-chat even while sparring, though, and this became a useful way for Sakage to catch up on a hundred years of gossip about the other Upper Moons.

While it did feel they had somewhat of a friendship, one day they got on the topic of poison. "I hate people who use poison," said Akaza, between punches. "It's as cowardly and low as you can get."

Sakage, who could create a myriad of weapons from his cells as needed and always laced them in poison, was not offended, but disagreed. "I see no problem in being effective."

This gave Akaza pause, and an uncomfortable drop in his stomach. He excused himself, and bothered Sakage not so often after that.

Muzan was typically pleased with Sakage, which made Hantengu tremble that the ambitious demon had it out for him next. When Muzan was in a foul mood after Upper Moon Six's defeat, Sakage was likewise in a bad mood for the annoyance he encountered out there, someone who should had stayed hidden away instead of bearing free his inherently show-offy personality by joining the Demon Slayer Corp, especially since he was sure to have his ears set to the ground now for any new sign of him. He was certain Tengen witnessed him. But, for as much of an insult as it was to the Upper Moons that Gyutaro let him live, Tengen wouldn't be much of a threat anymore.

Still, Sakage knew to keep his cool. He had news to report, and he was certain of his deciphering. When he declared where the swordsmith village was located, Muzan had no doubts, and sent Hantengu alone. "Now why couldn't you find that, after all this time?" Muzan smirked to Nakime. She, not being of any rank, could merely apologize. Sakage took no pleasure or pride in looking better than a peer whom he knew he was stronger than. Muzan's mood could never be sustained for long, though, and he very soon frowned back to him. "You've brought no word of the blue spider lily."

"My apologies."

"Aren't ninja supposed to have knowledge of these things? Weren't you of a high ranking clan? Go back and order them to search."

And, at that moment, a dangerous thought escaped Sakage's inner filter, it leaked though to his mind at the same moment it leaked to Muzan's: But I can't show my face back there.

The way Muzan's face bent with disgust drove more terror into Sakage than when he was still a human and first encountered the demon lord. He felt certain of a swift death, but Muzan let him be. Sakage was still too useful. But, Sakage knew he'd have to crawl back to Muzan's graces by providing something of more use to him. He had to unveil a secret of more value.

--

Tengen, who remained active despite missing an eye and a hand, was present at an emergency Pillar meeting. Tokito and Kanroji were bandaged up, and they recounted how the swordsmith village was attacked by Upper Moon Four. With two Pillars and a few other reliable Corp members all working together they defeated him well before daybreak, but not before discovering an ancient ability known only as "the mark."

As he was now, Tengen knew he'd never attain this. What bothered him more was how the demons found the village, so hidden that he'd have to put his mind to it to have figured out where it was. He could had resorted to old tricks to figure it out, whether that be silently tracking the smiths after their deliveries or flirting with the Kakushi, but what recourse would a demon have had?

'I heard the cacophony----'

A demon may have had ears that rivaled his own, or were better!

Feeling sure of which demon it may had been, he set to thinking of what he would do next. If the demon moved in shadow, listening for the Corps' secrets, what would be a bigger target than the swordsmith village?

Oyakata-sama!

"Uzui-san, are you alright?" asked Himejima. "You seem quiet today."

"You look pale," added Kanroji.

"I'm jealous I won't get one of those flashy marks," he lief without flaw. "We all know I can't take any demons on like I used to. Maybe I don’t belong here."

"Uzui, what sort of talk is that?" Iguro looked to him with his flamboyant dichromatic eyes wide, and brows knit tight over them. "This isn't like you."

"I've got a different sort of mission to go on, I'll see myself out. You all stay here and keep each other company discussing this."

"Then I'll excuse myself here as well--"

"Not you, you've got no excuse," Uzui forced Tomioka back to a seated position by pressing on his head.

In conducting his own investigation, Tengen set his crow to work investigating from the sky. What the crow learned, tracing a few leaks and scolding the birds involved, was that their mid-air communications may had been what spoiled the secret location. This confirmed Tengen's suspicion about Yogen's hearing. He had a feeling about some other spoiled secrets too, and in following up with Corp members involved in previous mishaps, he concluded that the secret hand signals had been divulged.

--

(Read the conclusion reblog here.)

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

[drunkblushed]

hi love! kind of weird question but I wondered how you got started coding? I've been really interested in starting to make my own themes but I don't know where to start. thanks for whatever answer you can come up with, your themes a beautiful.

not a weird question at all and i’m kinda flattered that you came to me to ask me about this omg. but honestly, i started coding, because although some themes are beautiful as is, i like to change them up to my liking. my degree made me take 9 units of graphic design, so i’m all about making things look good. 

whenever there’s a theme i use, i try to change it up – changing fonts, making the containers and pictures bigger, adjusting the placement of stuff like links and pictures. that’s how i started familiarizing myself with the basics. for me, the basics would be knowing what to add to a code to make it appear how you want it to be. for example, if i want something to move to the left, i’ll change the margin-left property. or if i want an image to have rounded corners, i’ll add a border-radius property. this and this cover some of that. when you’re familiarizing yourself with the basics, i would suggest you use a theme – any theme – and try to change things up as practice! if you want to get to know the tumblr basics, this guide by tumblr is very useful!  it really teaches you how you can change certain html elements that are only exclusive to how tumblr functions (what to do if you want photos posts to be bigger) and their basic variables (description, tumblr urls, icons). 

the next step after that, for me, was a lot of research. i like to read up on tutorials and guides on tumblr blogs, and w3schools. my favorite tumblr blogs for coding are shythemes and theme-hunter. they have reblogged a lot of coding tutorials which can be very useful! they have tutorials for update tabs, scrollbars, pop up tabs, and more. researching can also help when it comes to planning/designing the themes you want to make, because it teaches you to code with what you already have/know instead of starting a theme then abandoning it because you don’t really know how to move forward or do what you wanted. 

before designing a theme, you should start planning first. planning involves looking through pinterest for inspiration for do-able themes, and then establishing what it should look like. for example, my theme cruel summer is actually based on this pin. so my mental process about that is okay – it’s going to be a contained theme with a sidebar, and a center image at the front. since it’s a contained theme, you’d need a base code for that, and there’s a lot over at theme-hunter. 

now when it comes to actually designing a theme. my first thought is – what do i need? i would have to need attributes for the sidebar, the center image, the links, the subtitles at the side. and then how big should each thing be? personally, i like coding because i like computing how big containers should be to accommodate the sidebar and the posts. for example, if i want 300px posts with 15px padding then my container should AT LEAST be 330px wide [300 + 15(2)], and that’s just for the posts. if i have a sidebar that’s 180px wide, then that’s more or less a 510px container. for customizing the look of text, posts, and images – this is where your knowledge about the basics come in. if you need to visualize the theme more clearly, it helps if you do a sample first on photoshop before coding it. other things to make your code a little prettier would be font icons, and nice fonts! 

the last step for me is testing. this is usually the fun + the worst part, because you really get to see all the coding mistakes you’ve made. for testing, i like to make posts (ask posts, text posts, photosets) on the blog i use for coding to see what they look like. you also need to check out the permalink pages (these are the individual post pages). sometimes i like to show the themes to my friends as well just in case they can see some things that need to be changed.

that’s all that i can cover for now (but i’m sure i’ll come up with more eventually!). i hope this was able to help! if you have any more questions, you can IM me! 

[afiendwithadream13]

Last words that left my lips to your ears....

"Hey... ya know, you're the best Dad I could've ever had"

You cried, and I wrote it off as you being emotional as always...

You called it passionate. I thought that was a cop out. Till you were gone and I couldnt feel you emotion... but I could still feel your passion.

Shoulda and coulda's are infinite. I'm supposed to be a man now?

Fill your big ass clown shoes??

Dude... how? Wtf man. Mom is broken in a way that I see preperation for death in her eyes.

Something I cant touch. I haven't gotten out in ages, Dad. Cannot stand walking into this house and you're not here.

I begged for silence for so long, between our screaming and poisonous venom spewing from our mouths, I just wanted peace.

Moms talking about her life insurance lately. She told me she needs me to take the money and move myself and buy property in Alaska. I dont think she realized I caught her saying something about me finishing Probation when she dies.....

That's only a couple years dad.... does she know something I dont?

I met a Woman. Well I didnt meet her but I think I have met her before.

Remember us talking about all the impossible things I want in a woman.... the things I gave up on ever having? Not like you and mom anyways...

Shes been taking care of my soul.

Not solely focused on my dick.

And I dont even need to explain what that means to me cause you and I have already talked about it a lot.

I definitely got your charm and good looks. But I've been attracting demons. And I'm dying. So I cant explain how refreshing she is.

That last one I had... i can only say I'm so sorry Dad. So sorry.

I'm so sorry she was anywhere near you when the doctors were screaming Code blue.

But I know you dont care about that. I do.

Anyways .... I sure did get all your endurance and perseverance if anything else.

My eyes have been blue since you left.

I only need one thing from you Dad.

They're telling me my memory is really damaged and that due to this illness, it will potentially get worse. It's not just one or 2 things. It's so much and it's all black.

Its teaching me to live in the moment because my daily memory has become so fragile. My acting skills are superb because I'm kinda out here alone and I'm not going to subject myself to the danger of not remember SHIIIIIT.

It's been less than a year since you moved on... and I know my brain will attack the features of your face soon.

I sit for hours and watch your slideshow of selfies and study.

I need you to maintain my memory of you please. How crushing this life is, especially in this head.

I still remember laying on your chest and not feeling the rhythm.

I still remember screaming but nothing came out of my mouth.

Did you fucking see me down there 😂

Standing like a Military Man beside your body as people took their turns crying over you...

People still cant figure out wtf I was doing.

I was a statue dad.

Cause statues dont feel shit. They are cold and solid. Long stare casting glares upon the world it looks upon.

I'm not a statue anymore.

I know you asked me to stay sober.... and I'm doing everything possible to get high as fuck on life experiences.

Sorry bout the recent arrests and shit. You know I hate those fucking pigs. Ya boy put up a fight But I suppose that mentality is what got me here aye?

"I met the devil in the hills last night. I was Driving by myself alone. He said boy what you running from? I said... I DONT KNOW"

Come to find out.... I was just looking into the waters reflection.

I was pretty set I would die this year.

Thanks for sending Her. Needed some reassurance. Better yet, I needed somewhere to invest all this Love you taught me... cause the worlds been trying to strip it from me again.

Aye But

ONLY LOVE KILLS THE DEMON.

I love you Dad.