#but most importantly i NEED to get started on creating my dissertation experiment

[louferrignojrofficial]

got some gif requests yesterday but i’ve been busy at work/studying this weekend for my final exam which will be over in exactly 11 hours. so after that i will be free to get to the requests :)

[sadcharactersrmykryptonite]

Addiction ( in only friends ) and how it impedes your perception of the situations you are in

Never thought I needed to write this but I have been seeing so many posts blaming ray and I wanted to get it out. Later if I have time I would write a dissertation about this topic because it's extremely important.

Disclaimer : Know that I am not absolving ray of his wrongdoings nor am I blaming his behaviour on other characters but we know the root of his behaviour but it seems like there is a lack of understanding.

All this is from my observations with people I know who have addiction so this is my personal experience and not me telling everyone how they should act or feel.

.................

Ray is a selfish person. We all know that. But so is Boston , so is mew, so is cheum. So why is ray getting the most hate. Because he is a drunkard. During ep 3 or 4 , when we saw ray at his most vulnerable , everyone was going oh poor ray. And now everyone is telling the opposite. Now I see a lot of people asking why mew and the others not taking care of him, even me. But this is why. See how easy it was for a major part of the audience to forget his addiction and completely blame ray. Now imagine if you are the one who has to deal with ray on a daily basis for two long years. It's exhausting , overwhelming and frustrating and eventually you are going to form an antipathy. My drunkard friend is not going to listen to my well intentioned warnings so why should I care. You can see it clearly in mews behaviour. Mew has given up caring.

Loved ones start giving up , because the pain the addicted one causes is too much to bear. And that is the reality of addiction. This was most clearly shown through rue from euphoria. Her mother, friends, sister cared about her but you can see the toll it creates on everyone.

Addiction is a harmful disease and one of the reason why is that it morphs the user into someone unrecognisable. Look at sober ray, his moments with sand, he's adorable, fiesty, sassy and very charming. But what he becomes when he is drunk or high is a selfish guy who doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Once again I am not blaming the entire thing on alcohol, but trying to say how that much addiction can cause one to act in ways they won't normally wont when sober.

Alcohol and drugs is ray's escape from his inner thoughts and his shitty lonely life. But he's got so dependent on it and his pain is too much that he greatly needs that buzz of happiness that alcohol and drugs gives him. He's so dependent on it that he can't be happy without it. I know that most portrayel of alcoholics have them be absolutely useless and trashed. But ray is not like that, which is even more dangerous , because he is a functional alcoholic.

And it's dangerous because it won't be clear to a lot of people about how he needs help. And more importantly it won't be clear to him about how he needs help. When ray thinks to himself all he can focus on is that he can do chores, he can talk to people normally, he can walk in a straight line, he is not an alcoholic in the way we are always shown, but he is. He is seen with drinks almost all the time, he spends the most time in a bar , he is probably walking around conscious but still drunk. And as long as he is a functional alcoholic , ray would never go or ask for help.

When you are that dependent on this , any tiny problem would have you running to escape , because the escape as an option is easy then doing the messy work of knowing when you are wrong or wronged and dealing with the emotions that come with it. We have seen ray doing it, especially when paired with mew.

When you are that dependent you don't see that you need help. To ray he is having fun, he's not miserable when he is drunk or high , when he is in that state he gets everything. So what if he is called a burden, he is still on top of the world. So when people say to him that he is an alcoholic he's confused , because he is not an alcoholic. He's having fun.

Now during ep 8 we are actually seeing him being selfish and an asshole. During ep 6 we saw him very effectively damaging his relationships. The common point between these two eps is that he is under the influence. Those are his sober thoughts but he won't say it aloud when he is sober but when he's drunk he doesn't have any inhibitions so he says everything that comes to him. Combine that with the pain of being called a burden , of unrequited love and he tries to escape from the feelings by drinking again and it forms a vicious circle. It came to a point where he lashed out and as always hurt people under the influence of something can be destructive.

I am not saying that what he did was right or the pain he caused was justifiable or should be forgiven. They shouldn't but rays feeling shouldn't be minimised too. Addiction is complex and asking for help can be a hard task. And in the case of ray I don't think he realises that he needs help. That's the problem with addicts, they don't know that the thing that's giving them happiness is the same thing that's causing them harm. Or they know but they are far too gone that they don't care.

Be it smoking , drugs or alcohol or anything else , people use it for escape but the usage becomes too much that their entire day is only fulfilled , when they get their daily dose of happiness from it. Which changes their perception to accomodate one and only one thing , the next fix, the next drink. Which is why they become selfish cause their entire world is wrapped around that bottle and everything else comes secondary.

Addiction has the potential to completely change a person. You know the person you grew up with or you know personally is somewhere inside there but what you see when they are under the influence is someone you never dreamed your loved one's can be. And it's painfull.

Another way people with addiction is dehumanised is that everyone uses them. You want a drink ? that person will always have a bottle with them, you need a fix that guy knows a person , want to have fun that person will show you a good time . I think a lot of people have heard these phrases.

For most people it's harmless fun, for the addict it's an ego boost . And it encourages them to continue that lifestyle. Which is what happened with raymew and the entire friends group in general.

They use ray but they are willfully blind to the harm that causes him. Mew was the one who wanted to try smoking, coke and party, ray never forced him, because for ray that is his happy place. Substances is the one thing that gives him happiness, he does not have the capacity to stop or think of it as wrong.

To ray , mew has finally chosen him, he is finally doing the things he loves. He's not going to stop mew from doing anything when he thinks he finally getting what he always wanted. Ands it toxic and it's not right but that's the reality of an addict.

And he should be happy about it but he isn't because he needs sand. And that is what confused him to spiral further and ignore his emotions and snort coke. Because that's the best thing he can do, run away.

Why is sand so important to ray ? I said in an another post that sands generosity is out of the ordinary. He's mature for his age in a way that makes me feel like he has known an addict before.

And ray needs that. He doesn't need enablers. he needs someone to physically stop him from taking it. Or atleast make him realise that what he is doing is dangerous. And sand is the one who's going to do it.

Thing is it's not sand's job to do it. But till ep 8 he was choosing to be that person. Saying that ray is forcing sand to do something is just taking away the agency from sand. He's not a kid. He's making his own decisions.

And if he is helping him it won't be an easy journey. If they are bringing the addiction rehab plot line into the show then I could see a scene happening that is reminiscent of the car chase scene from euphoria.

[aal-archaeology]

Words from a so-far successful archaeologist (25 years old/recent Ph.D. admit)

Hello Everyone!  I have revived my Tumblr to find many messages asking “what do I do next” when it comes to Archaeology/Anthropology. So I thought I’d create a post explaining what I went through to get to where I am now, and hopefully give some information to those who are pondering on the next steps to take in this truly wonderful field of study.  Quick academic about me: 

Undergrad: Ivy League, Major: Anthropology-Geography, Minor: Religion

After Undergrad: 1 year of Cultural Resource Management (CRM) & Substitute teaching

Graduate School: England MSc in Archaeological Information Systems

After Graduate: 10-month long research grant in Cambodia

Now: (USA)  Ph.D. Candidate in Anthropology, Archaeology Track

I come from a low-middle class family, all of my academics have been funded through financial aid or through grants that I’ve applied for. A lot of the time school and research can get expensive, but that doesn’t mean you have to be wealthy to pursue it!

Per usual, please feel free to DM me at any point with questions (here or IG @ aal.archaeology), I’m always happy to help to the best of my ability. Success in this field is really dependent on networking!

I’ll set this up based on the various landmarks of my academic career: 

1. Undergrad

Themes: Ask for help, build your resume, write down everything

No matter where you are going to school, it is so so so important to use the resources around you. Becoming a professor is HARD work, and each one of your professors went through a lot to be able to stand in front of you and teach you. They’ve likely had years and years of research experience, which is probably still happening behind the scenes of teaching and grading papers. More often than not, professors want to help you, they want students to be excited about the research they’ve worked so hard on, and they want to do what they can to help you achieve your career goals.  Therefore, if there’s a class you’ve taken or a professor whose research you’re interested in, tell them. This is how I got my first experience with archaeology (before I even knew that I wanted to do archaeology). I randomly took an Anthropology class that sounded cool, and after the first class, I was like WOW I love this topic so much and I really want to know more about it. I went up to the professor that was teaching it, told her I was really interested and asked if she knew of any research opportunities available. She then hired me as a student researcher in her lab to do data entry for one of her archaeological projects in Mesoamerica, and after working for her for a few months, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and her team to Mexico for fieldwork. 

         (my timeline at this point: 19 years old, end of Sophomore year)

From this experience, I learned how to apply to grants within the University and funding outside of the University, and was able to FULLY fund my research experience in Mexico. During this fieldwork, I got to work with 3000-year-old artifacts, do archaeoillustration, and eventually got my own chapter published in the book that my professor wrote about the research that was done.

After I got back from Mexico, I started exploring archaeology further. A new professor entered the department who specialized in “digital archaeology,” and his research involved tracking looting patters in Syria using satellite imagery. I thought this was crazy so I then went up to him and asked if I could help him with his research. (the common theme throughout this entire process is just asking for help). From this experience, I learned that I loved the possibilities that technology brought to the study of archaeology, everything from 3D modeling to identification of sites in satellite imagery to spatial mapping in GIS. With this professor, I was able to form an “internship” with him, and continued doing that and other minor projects within the department. I ended up modifying my major to incorporate coursework from the Geography department and created my own “Digital Archaeology” major.

        (my timeline at this point: 22 years old, Senior year)

As graduation began to creep closer, I had been able to get a good amount of lines on my resume. I had:

research assistant/ data entry

fieldwork in mesoamerica

x2 internships with digital archaeology prof

multiple “small” projects around the department i.e. making posters, painting 3D prints of bones,

all of the coursework I had done on GIS/ relevant digital experience

started a drone club at my school (it flopped, but it still counts as a line on the resume!)

All of these lines became useful when starting to think of jobs and the “next step”

UNDERGRAD HIGHLIGHTS & TAKEAWAYS:

Ask for help, your professors are there for a reason, it will almost always lead you to new opportunities. These relationships last well beyond your graduation and definitely come in handy later, make it count!

Write down EVERYTHING that you do. Did you help out with a conference? Write it down. Did you do a couple hours of data entry? Write it down.

Follow your leads! I started my anth journey in Mesoamerica and ended my undergrad in Near Easter digital archaeology (and I entered college wanting to do astronomy?). Change is natural, let it happen.  

2. Gap Year Between Undergrad and Grad School

Highlights: Job applications, field school, CRM, uncertainty

Something that I was always told during my undergrad was that you really need to do a field school and some CRM to be taken seriously post-grad. This shows that you actually want to be an archaeologist outside of the classroom environment. Field Schools and CRM give you valuable experience such as: excavation methodology, report writing, grant applications, teamwork, leadership, etc. 

I started applying for jobs probably about 5 months before I graduated and ended up securing a job at a CRM company in LA. They liked how much I had done during my undergrad, but they really wanted me to have a field school under my belt before I started working for them. Because I had already graduated and didn’t need course credit, I was able to do my field school at a discounted price (these things really do get expensive, and this was a difference of about $2k). I think this worked out in my favor waiting until the summer after I graduated because it saved me a lot of money in the end. 

After my field school was done, I started work that September in CRM. This job ended up being nothing like what I thought it would be, to be honest. I was an Archaeological Field Technician that was part-time/on-call, meaning I only got work when they needed someone to go monitor a construction site. I only got work once every month, sometimes every couple of months, so I was making hardly any money. I realized this quickly and decided to become a substitute teacher to supplement the CRM job. I HIGHLY recommend doing this if you end up in the same situation. Not only does subbing fill up all of your non-working days, but it also gives you the flexibility to choose when you can work and gives you teaching experience that you can put on your resume. That CRM experience can be really important, so it’s good to stick it out long enough to quit.

      Why didn’t I like CRM? For me, my job was very sparse, included driving long hours to a construction site, sitting there all day in case archaeological material popped up, and then driving home. Sometimes it was just walking back and forth across a massive field full of cow poop looking for arrowheads, and often it felt like I was just clearing land so that a big building could be erected. I was really missing the research component to all of it. The pay was also not great. 

GAP YEAR HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

What I got from this year was very valuable, even though it wasn’t necessarily that fun, however. 

I got the experience I needed in CRM

I got some teaching experience (also volunteered to mentor clubs and research at local high schools during this time)

I started doing some networking (I found some alumni that were doing work that I wanted to be doing and reached out to them)

and most importantly, I realized that I really do love school and wanted to go back for my Masters

So I started looking into Masters's programs. This is kind of a scary thing especially in the US because school is expensive. I still really wanted to do Digital Archaeology, and I couldn’t find a single program in the US had a focus in this topic, and especially couldn’t find one that I was willing to pay for. 

The UK, however, had plenty of Digital Archaeology programs, and the programs were only a year long and a fraction of the price in the US. I decided to take a chance and apply, got in, and then suddenly I was moving to England. (in hindsight I really didn’t spend much time at all making this decision, but it worked out in the end). 

3. Masters Program

         (my timeline at this point: 23-24 years old)

I chose the program I applied to based on its focus on the techniques that I wanted to use, namely, remote sensing, GIS, and 3D modeling. I really wanted a degree qualification that spoke for itself, and therefore applied for an MSc in “Archaeological Information Systems.” 

I had done some networking during my gap year and connected with an alumnus who was doing research in Cambodia using digital methods, and she offered me the opportunity to join her fieldwork. I agreed to join her in Cambodia during my degree, and also applied for a research grant for the year following my master's degree to continue fieldwork in Cambodia. 

I used this opportunity to fuel my dissertation topic and focused all of my writing and coursework throughout my grad school experience around Cambodia. While I was surrounded by people studying Roman architecture and Medieval Studies, I spent my time doing independent work and building a network in Cambodia. 

This program was a great experience for the most part, I was surrounded by beautiful medieval architecture and had a great community throughout. I personally didn’t really like the UK school system compared to what I had received in the US, however. This was largely because of the way coursework was set up. (If you want to know more just DM me).

MASTERS HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

Follow networking opportunities, and find someone doing what you want to do (or close to it) and let them help you take the steps to get there

If you’re going to do grad school, do it in something you know you love. Don’t waste money on a program that isn’t right for you.

Make sure that the program you apply to allows for flexibility so that you can do research on what YOU want, not what THEY want.

Halfway through my Master's degree, I received word that I had been accepted for the research grant (Fulbright) and would spend the next year living in Cambodia doing independent research.

4. Gap Year Between Masters Program and PhD

If you’re planning on a Ph.D., I think its a really good idea to do something before applying that relates to what you want to be studying. This shows that you’re dedicated to your research and to a life in academia, and have the ability to produce something from your work. 

My master's degree was nice because 1) it was short, only a year-long, and 2) allowed me to focus research on what I was interested in. This gave me the experience I needed to lead into a year of independent research.

This year of independent research was definitely contingent on receiving the grant in the first place, and I think that I would have started job searching again had I not received it. However, the small things I did leading up to applying for it really helped in qualifying me to receive it. 

     I had:

All of the undergraduate research experience

CRM experience

teaching experience

fieldwork experience

a master’s degree that focused on the region 

established a network of people in the country beforehand

a couple “publications” from fieldwork 

This grant fully funds me living in Cambodia, and has allowed me to participate in cultural exchange with some amazing people here in addition to allowing me to partake in archaeological fieldwork across the country. 

Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is to network. If you like something, find someone else who likes the same thing, send them an email.

Networking got me my experience in Mesoamerica, Digital Archaeology, my CRM job, my research experience in Cambodia, and so so much more. All because I sent that first email.

5. PhD Applications

I applied to 1 school. I got in. Its a really good school. I’m still in shock. 

However, I think I really did set myself up for success in this one. 

The biggest advice I can give in the world of Academia is:

NETWORK

Talking to people who have gone through what you’re going through are the BEST help. They can mentor you through these experiences, offer you new opportunities, or lead you in the direction of someone else who can help.

PLAN AHEAD (but be open to change)

Okay, so you’re applying to grad school. What do you want to focus on while you’re there? What do you want to do with the degree when you’re done? Do you want to start working? Do you want to do more research? What opportunities are out there for research funding? What is the job market looking for? Is there anyone in my network that can help me get there?

None of these have to be concrete plans, they just have to exist in some shape or form so that you have the ability to latch on to one when the opportunity arises.

If you’re doing something that you love doing, you’ll find a way to make it happen. All opportunity comes from the amount of effort you put into getting it! Thanks for reading and best of luck on your studies! Also Happy Anthropology Day! :)  -Lyss 

[things2mustdo]

If you’ve stared at a blank document and the words weren’t flowing, you’re not alone. Mark Twain sometimes had that experience in front of a typewriter, and Geoffrey Chaucer with an empty parchment and a quill pen. So then, what do you do if you’re blocked while up against a deadline, trying to get that business presentation done, finish the doctoral dissertation about vegetable symbolism in Hamlet, or complete your Jezebel article about how chewing gum contributes to toxic masculinity?

The creative process

It’s important to understand a writing project’s phases:

Planning

Writing

Editing

Planning is where you develop a general outline. This may be the essentials of a plot, or the points you’re trying to make in a monograph. This phase also includes research. If it’s a story, you might also detail the characters, to sketch out their personality and history enough that they’ll come to life. It doesn’t need to be too extensive, though ideally, you’ll have enough information about them that you can imagine a conversation with them or know how they’d react to any given situation.

Editing is pretty self-explanatory. This involves checking the spelling and grammar; no word processor will catch every mistake. Also, that’s where you sharpen up the style, and fix any problems in logic and consistency. Editing is vital to perfecting the quality, but make it whatever you’re doing when you’re not in writing mode.

Writing is the most important part. This is what produces all those words. When a project starts, you have nothing written down, and this is where many people get blocked. Although planning is the first on the list, most likely you already have at least a basic idea of where you’re going with it. Also, it’s sometimes difficult to get into writing mode, which is another reason to prioritize it.

Creative flow

Most writing happens during creative flow. It’s not exactly a trance, but it’s somewhat a different state of consciousness. This takes place in any artistic endeavor. If you’re out on the town and vibing effortlessly, that’s essentially similar. Being blocked in that scenario is the all-too-common experience of wanting to be social or chat up someone but having no idea what to say. Creative flow is necessary even when writing software.

If you’ve got the inspiration fully in gear, then you’re putting ideas down as fast as you can type. I’ve had the experience where stories basically write themselves. Not being able to enter creative flow causes the dreaded writer’s block. Until your first draft is done, or nearly so, then always try to catch the inspiration where ideas coalesce into words almost magically.

What planning and editing have in common is that they’re fairly analytical and detail-oriented. Thus, for the most part, the left hemisphere of the brain is engaged. On the other hand, the writing phase is mainly a right-brained activity. That’s where the artistic functions of the mind happen. So this is a very different process from planning and especially editing.

Note well, it’s pretty hard to get both hemispheres of the brain fully engaged at the same time, unless you’re good enough at meditation to levitate or whatevs.

Get in the right mindset

You must shift gears mentally, so to speak, to enter creative flow for the writing phase. Again, this is what gets your first draft finished, so catch the inspiration whenever possible. This is the trickiest part. This doesn’t just happen on command, any more than you go to sleep at will.

The right mood music may help, something suitable for the task. (With my latest novel, listening to Espirpe Imperial, Division 250, and Celtica really put me in the right state of mind.) If the lyrics get distracting, find something instrumental or in a language you don’t understand well. The ancients invoked the Muses to get into the spirit of things; do that if it works for you.

When you’re in creative flow, it’s easy to get distracted. Set aside some time when you won’t be disturbed. Grab some munchies and your favorite beverage, so you won’t have to get up for it. Set aside extraneous worries or other thoughts, and focus on the project at hand. If necessary, tell anyone else nearby to let you finish your task. If they won’t leave you alone, persuade them to enroll in STFU.

Since most writing these days is done on computers, it’s difficult to avoid distractions. Therefore, you’ll have to discipline yourself. Keep off of the email, video games, stock charts, tentacle porn, and all that when you’ve set aside some time. Turn the ringer off on the phone, or put it in another room if you’re still tempted to check it.

Editing must be done with a clear head, or else you’ll make mistakes. On the other hand, creative flow can happen even when you’re tired. Some writers even prefer to get drunk. (Back in the day, many favored absinthe, though it’s hard to get it quite like they used to make it. The scare stories about it were fairly overblown.) All that is up to your personal discretion. However, it’s advisable not to overdo the bug juice or rely on it as a crutch.

Igniting the spark

So you’re staring at a blank manuscript, and the words aren’t coming off of your fingertips—what then? Rack your brains and write down a sentence or two. Surely you can think of something—anything. Then see if you can get something else down. Take it as far as it will go. This is what shifts the gears. Soon you’ll get a paragraph or two. With luck, words will start flying off your fingers. Run with it as fast as possible!

Note that it doesn’t have to be in any particular order. Speed is what counts. Don’t dwell too much on fixing mistakes, or that will knock you back into edit mode. If the ideas start coming faster than you can get them into sentences, jot down the ideas elsewhere so you can pick up the thread later.

It’s not possible to knock out a novel in one sitting. (With my latest, fourteen chapters and 88K words certainly didn’t happen overnight!) So eventually you’ll have to stop and pick it up later. Reigniting the spark is a little easier when you have something in writing already. You can begin in editing mode, putting things in order, making transitions from one block of finished paragraphs to the next, and otherwise polishing up what you already wrote. When you start getting thoughts on where else you want to go with it, then kick into writing mode and start creating new paragraphs.

Sometimes you’ll have to step back to planning mode, if you need to work out something with logic or direction. That’s fine, but as soon as you come up with some ideas you can write down, then hit it. If necessary, you can go to another writing project, returning to the first later. If all else fails, then start doing some boring, repetitive task that you’ve been putting off for a while. Mull over your ideas while you paint the living room or whatever.

Most importantly, have fun with it!

Don’t miss Beau’s book catalog. Good stuff!

https://www.returnofkings.com/1499/the-art-of-learning

An accomplished chess player and push hand (martial arts) champion shares how the bulk of his success has been due to being a good learner. I was expecting more of a technical guide, but this book actually had many exciting stories in excellent prose that added a lot of heart to his methods, a great example of showing instead of telling.

“Successful people shoot for the stars, put their hearts on the line in every battle, and ultimately discover that the lessons learned from the pursuit of excellence mean much more than the immediate trophies and glory.”

Many people will scoff at this but consistently getting laid on the international level is not unlike competitions that the author faced, especially when it comes to maintaining your concentration in order to perform at peak levels. Are bad nights out due to the girls not liking you or because you were off? How can you ensure that you’ll have a good night every night? The author talks primarily about chess and martial arts, but there’s a lot of anecdotes that players will be able to identify with.

For example, during his chess matches, he started getting annoyed at noises in the auditorium. Sometimes a song he heard earlier would loop in his head. He’d fail at removing them and then would end up losing the match. What he learned to do was to incorporate the noises into his head and use that to adjust his tempo.

Compare noise in a chess match to a cockblocker in a club. We get mad at them, wanting to remove them for the equation, but how about understanding the nature of the cockblocker to successfully pull you girl anyway? Maybe you could approach smaller groups, go for the kiss faster to neutralize the cockblockers effects, or inoculate your target against the potential cockblocker. Harness and adapt to what the environment is giving you to succeed in spite of the difficulties.

What I liked most about the book is how analytical the author is, examining every facet of not only his behavior but how he thinks. In other words, he thinks about how he thinks, meditates on how he meditates. It has put his game on an entirely different level, telling me I may not be reflecting on my experiences enough. This will be especially true for people who seem to repeat mistakes.

“A competitor needs to be process-oriented, always looking for stronger opponents to spur growth but it is also important to keep on winning enough to maintain confidence.”

This isn’t one of those books where some nerd reviews psychological studies—it’s a motivational tour de force written by a man who deliberately put himself through tough situations in order to become a champion. While there were some sluggish parts, particularly in the second half, it’s been a while since I’ve read a book that makes me want to go out there and achieve. Work hard and learn hard—I can’t think of a better winning formula.

Read More: “The Art Of Learning” on Amazon

[lycorogue]

Meet My OCs: Willow (Part 1 - Background)

Sorry this post was delayed a week. Sorry again that it’s 11pm on Sunday, so I almost missed my publication deadline AGAIN! 

I really did aim to get this up for my weekly Sunday updates of this series. However, Willow proved to be a bit more detailed than I gave her credit, resulting in her introductory post taking the better part of a week to write up and edit.

Before I get further into this post, however, have you had a chance to read my intro posts? They're not needed, but they do provide added context.

Part 1: What is this “Meet My OCs” series, and what was my inspiration when creating the worlds these characters live in?

Part 2: What IRL inspiration helped me create my four main OCs for my Gyateara stories?

Part 3a: What is the X-Future play-by-post game, and what inspired the creation of the main characters for Glitches?

Part 3b: What X-Men canonical characters needed to be reworked for Glitches, and how have they changed to become more original creations?

Feel free to check those out, and then come back. Otherwise, links will also be at the end of this post for your convenience.

Now then, let's get into the true meat and potatoes of this series, starting with the character I tend to unintentionally favor. The one who has the most visual presence. The one whose introduction was so massive (over 30pgs long in a Word document) that I had to split it into 6 parts to avoid overwhelming people (this may still overwhelm, though; sorry). These Meet My OCs posts are getting beefy.... I think I’ll have to switch to every OTHER Sunday for the updates.... Anyway, be prepared for a nice 6-post dump onto your dash!

------------------------------

Willow “Wisp” Driver

I was the one who watermarked that pic, BTW, to make sure Willow can't be swiped by anyone...

And, can we also give another quick shout out to @edendaphne​ for the beautiful commission work on my baby girl?

Anyway, Willow was my second X-Future character, and quickly climbed the ranks to one of my most prominent and vocal characters of all time. Check below for Part 1 of Willow's intro, which includes a broad overview of who Willow is, and some backstory for her. In a few minutes, I'll also have up Part 2, which talks more about Willow's main relationships: her family, her friends, and her romances. Later, I'll post Part 3, which talks about her basic storyline within X-Future, and how it relates to my intended starter arc for her in Glitches. In Part 4, I showcase some more artwork of Willow, followed by some narrative scene examples in Part 5. Finally, I’ll conclude with Part 6: wrestler entrances for Hubby’s WWE13 game.

Overview: 

Willow was 15 when she was first created back in 2012. She is currently 18 in our game. She's about average height at 5'4” (162.56cm), and has a fairly lean body. She's not overtly muscular, but she is sculpted due to her favorite form of exercise: parkour/free-running, an activity she started after school when she was 10 in order to help burn off extra energy. She's playful, flirty, a mischievous prankster, bubbly, and has a bit of a snarky/sarcastic attitude. She's also cunning, a bit manipulative, incredibly passionate, and surprisingly cautious and suspicious. She tends to surprise people by having a different view of life than most expect, making her playful when most might be somber, making her angered when most would be relieved, or making her harsh when most would be sympathetic. (examples of these outlooks will be in Part 5)

Further Physical Description:

Her hair is naturally a silvery-white, but that's too “grandma” and “bland” looking for her, especially with such pale Irish-American skin. So, to accent her aquamarine eye color, she routinely streaks the silver with blue. The shade of blue varies from dye to dye.

Family:

Willow's mother Meryl is a “normal” human. However, Willow's father Jacob Driver is a mutant (glitch). He has the power to “manipulate” any object so it looks like whatever he wants, as long as it's roughly the same shape, size, and weight. For instance, a chunk of cement could appear to be a large, raw ruby. A stack of blank paper can look like a first draft manuscript of a famous novel. A flashlight can look like a stick of dynamite, and children's play money can look like $100 bills. (Yes, Jacob was inspired by Hook Waters and the Shifting ability from the 2009 movie “Push,” and the categories for The GRID are also inspired by “Push”). Now, the objects aren't physically changed in any form. Instead, Jacob drapes the items within the illusionary forms he desires. His targets will 100% believe the objects are what Jacob claims, as long as they are indeed the correct size, shape, and weight; giving the items the tactile features the illusions suggest. Non-targets of Jacob's powers, however, will see the object for what it truly is. So, if someone accepts the “raw ruby” from Jacob, and takes it to a jeweler, said jeweler will simply see the original chunk of cement.

In his youth, Jacob had used his ability to manipulate items in order to swindle his way through life: making his homework appear done, his dissertation seem ingenious, his wallet always look filled with large bills, etc. He was eventually caught, and served some jail time. He was released early on good behavior, and ended up meeting Meryl, who turned him from a life of crime and swindling. (In the Glitches version, Jacob even had a bit of a playful con-artist rivalry with Ryder, and both men went legit after meeting their wives).

Now trying to stay off the radar as much as possible, Jacob resisted using his powers. He also avoided the public visibility of protesting at mutant/glitch rallies, deciding instead to silently protest mutant/glitches injustice from his home via online boards and petitions. Jacob also made a point of following the latest mutant/glitches news reports, even with his children Shawn and Willow within earshot, much to Meryl's disapproval due to the violence usually talked about in the reports. The news affected Shawn and Willow differently than Meryl originally expected, and the two would pretend to have battles using the various superpowers they heard about via the news.

Powers: 

Willow has the power of illusion. To be more technical, she has the telepathic ability to make her target's brain believe an illusion so faithfully that it becomes a seemingly physical manifestation. They actually hear what Willow wants them to hear, see what she wants them to see, taste the flavors she mentally puts into their mouths, and smell the scents she coats her illusions with. Most importantly, through a secondary use of her telekinetic powers, she can have her illusions have a “physical” form to those targeted to experience them. She can lift someone off the ground to make them feel like they're flying, falling, or climbing. She can mentally push down on someone to create the feeling of weight. She can also manipulate parts of the brain so the illusions have texture. The target can feel the cool lick of water splashing against their legs, the sharpness of a needle pricking their skin, the softness of satin, the frigid cold of a snow storm, the rough texture of sandpaper, etc. For all intents and purposes, for Willow's target, the illusions are physical manifestations.

When Willow first started using her powers, she could only concentrate on the two main senses of sight and sound. If she wanted to target more than one person, or if she wanted her illusions to affect more senses, she had to shift to the psychic world of the Astral Plane, causing her to fall unconscious as her consciousness transitioned onto the other level of existence. While on the Astral Plane, she could also use her telepathy to read minds and communicate telepathically. After some practice, she was able to learn to condense the psychic energy of the Astral Plane into a weapon (psy-weapon) she could use while on that plane.

Now that Willow is 18, she has much better control of her powers. She can create fully immersive illusions targeting up to 20 people within a quarter-mile radius (402m). She can use her telepathy for communication and reconnaissance for up to 5 people within the same quarter-mile radius. She can also use telekinesis to lift a collective weight of up to 600lbs (~272kg) within a 30ft (9.14m) radius. All of this without having to shift to the Astral Plane. When she does move to the other plane of existence, her powers increase 10-fold.

One of her favorite illusions, which also truly showcases her base personally, is turning herself into her version of the Cheshire Cat. One can usually tell that Willow has a prank or other mischievous plan in mind when she manifests cat ears, a tail, and a cat-like grin.

Image generated via gen8′s Chibi Maker on deviantart.

Power Manifestation: 

As mentioned above, when they were kids, Shawn and Willow would run around their backyard in San Diego, California, and pretend to use superpowers to battle either each other or an imaginary foe. They would pretend they had telepathy, telekinesis, teleportation, wings, pyrokinesis, electrokinesis, accelerated healing, energy blasts, etc. One day, when Willow was 11, she became upset that her nearly 13-year-old brother was refusing to play pretend anymore. While nagging him to play with her, she imagined herself throwing fireballs at Shawn. He then actually saw the fireballs aimed at him, as well as the fire damage the dodged balls created. Understandably, he ran, terrified, and screaming for their parents.

Jacob, still trying to stay as far off-radar as possible, avoided sending Willow to a “Mutant Only” school, and instead tried to train her to control herself and her powers. It was tricky, though, since she showcased different powers on any given day, making it hard to know what her abilities actually were. Her imagination also expanded with her powers, and she soon reveled in the thrill of pulling pranks with her ability, usually resulting in terrorizing Shawn. After two years of Willow “playfully” tormenting her brother – as well as some classmates – Jacob finally caved, and sent Willow to the Colossus Academy; a sister location to the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. 

It was at the Academy that a telepath was able to finally figure out Willow's power of illusion and manipulation, and helped start Willow's training. While Willow continued to pull pranks, they weren't nearly as mean spirited as they were towards her brother.

In the Glitches rework, Emily’s school on the east coast is the only place Willow is sent. I’m still reworking the timeframe of everything now that I don’t have those 2 extra years between Willow discovering her powers and going to the school. I do know that Willow is sent to Emily’s school because of Jacob’s connection with her husband Ryder.

Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters:

In X-Future, Willow originally went to the west coast branch of the Xavier Institute: Colossus Academy, appropriately run by Piotr “Colossus” Rasputin. Willow stayed at the Academy from age 13 through 15; grades 8 and 9. While at the Academy, she became best friends with her roommate Noelle “Penumbra” Firada. She also became close with Marjory “Lookout” Allodis, the girl tasked to keep her safe whenever Willow went into the Astral Plane, leaving her lifeless body defenseless. A young boy named Winston “Hedge” Michaels became a bit of an unwanted tag-along. He was only two years younger than Willow, but the introverted and awkward boy with virtually no social skills latched onto her as an unwanted and bothersome younger brother figure.

When Willow was 15 and nearing the conclusion of her second year at the Academy, Colossus and his wife Jubilee were needed for a crucial X-Men-related mission. Neither of them returned home. Delegates from the Xavier Institute were sent to the Colossus Academy so the students could finish their school year, as well as figure out where to go next. Then, once summer hit, the Academy was shut down. A lot of the students were sent to the east coast and the Institute. Once there, Willow originally stuck with her core group of Noelle (Penny), Marjory (Marge), and Winston. Willow's a friendly enough person, outgoing and inviting, so it didn't take long for her to make friends with Devon, Chayse, and Lia, as well as create a playful rivalry with a classmate named William.

For more about these relationships, check out Part 2 of Meet Willow.

Willow's Style: 

Her base style started off a bit punk/rocker/scene, similar to the early 2000's fashion Rogue and Boom-Boom wore in X-Men: Evolution. Over the past 7yrs since I created Willow, her style toned down a little bit. She still wears fairly form-fitting outfits and short skirts, though. Her main color scheme trends towards blue and white, to match her hair.

Willow's a borderline exhibitionist, always teetering on that line between showing off enough to excite onlookers, and leaving JUUUUUST enough to the imagination. She has budding curves, and she's perfectly fine showing them off to everyone. In fact, much like Trish, Willow has an unofficial theme song herself: “I Get Off” by Halestorm

Willow doesn’t really care who you are when she flirts and teases. All she cares about is if she's getting your blood pumping, if you end up desiring her, and if she's riling you up somehow. She's just turned on by someone else getting turned on by her. She's much more modest than she lets on, though, and rarely follows through with any sexual acts. Instead, she uses her powers of illusion to create a copy of herself, and lets the copy continue along with the act, should the other person wish to go along still. She's so used to deceit and manipulation, thanks to her powers and how she uses them, that it's actually hard for her to find full trust in others. As much as she teases that sex is all well-and-good fun, deep down she knows she, personally, would regret participating with her own body unless she fully trusted her partner.

Her desire to get others riled up and turned on even extends to using her illusions to try to draw other couples together. Especially with a bunch of “Will they; won't they”, she has fun having an illusion of one trying to seduce the other, just to see where the snag in their “will they” might be. Plus, she loves watching her classmates blush.

------------------------------

Welp, there’s your broad introduction to Willow. Now to move on to Part 2, where I’ll talk a bit more about her main relationships.

------------------------------

While waiting for Part 2, you can also check out my introductory posts for this over-all Meet My OCs series.

Quick recap this series thus far, in Part 1 I talked about why I wanted to do this series in a bit more depth than I did above, and I talk about the real world inspiration for creating my two main worlds:

Gyateara – a high fantasy world that will, presumably, house many self-contained series that may or may not interconnect beyond all taking place on the same planet

Glitches – a pseudo-cyberpunk future AU of Earth where mutated humans – known as Glitches – must fight for equality, and even survival, while also dealing with the normal dramas of puberty.

In Part 2 of my series, I explained the real-world inspiration for my four main Gyateara OCs:

Amara Yori

Jolene Crisslebalm

Natalie

Connor

Part 3 of this series went a bit long, so it was broken down into its own two-parter. In Part 3a, I talked about the creation of the four main characters of Glitches:

Chayse

Lia

Willow

Trish

For Part 3b of this series, I explained the canonical character origins of my adult Glitches, and how they've been reworked to create my still-evolving adult support characters for Glitches:

Matteo

Emily

Ryder

Keahi

Cody

Iggy

Alright, this long post is becoming more epic, so I'll catch you guys in Meet Willow Part 2 in a few minutes!

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

If a Loved One is Involved with a High-Demand Group (Cult)

Steve K. D. Eichel, ICSA President

People who contact ICSA often ask, “Is X a cult?” In its first form as the American Family Foundation, and now as the International Cultic Studies Association, ICSA has tried to provide helpful perspectives on this vexed and challenging issue.

Although ICSA’s website and member e-library have information on about 1,000 groups, questioners have been frustrated when they cannot find a list of “cults” on the website; however, we maintain that it is more important to understand why certain interpersonal dynamics may be harmful than to label a group a cult or a person a cultic leader. As the writers who follow demonstrate, the word cult, while useful, may also be “thought terminating” because it may conjure up stereotypes that interfere with productive inquiry and accurate perception.

We are proud to publish here a representative selection of papers, starting with an essay coauthored by our longtime former president, attorney Herbert Rosedale, more than fifteen years ago, and concluding with an essay by our current president, Steve Eichel, completed this year. The essay “What Is a Cult?” by Professor Russell Bradshaw (2014) is part of a collection of basic papers on cultic issues developed by ICSA’s New York Educational Outreach Committee. —Editors

FOR FAMILIES WHO SUSPECT THAT A LOVED ONE MAY BE INVOLVED WITH A HIGH-DEMAND GROUP (CULT)

By Steve K. D. Eichel

How can I tell if my loved one is in a high-demand group (HDG) or cultic relationship?

Deception is the key to whether a group or person is cultic, or just more dedicated than the rest of us. Historically, groups and persons who have had a beneficial effect on the world have done so without disguising their beliefs or misrepresenting their practices. Every member of a mainline religious community is given lengthy exposure to the beliefs and practices of the community before the member is permitted to make a commitment. Legitimate groups and individuals can do this because they are capable of delivering what they promise.

HDGs and cultic persons, in contrast, promise what no one can deliver. Naturally, because they promise what can be had nowhere else, they can make extraordinary demands on their followers or partners, since the expected reward is also extraordinary. If these persons or groups could deliver on what they promise, we should all be members. Since they cannot, they have to build systems that trick people into joining and staying in the system. This goal is usually accomplished with a kind of bait-and-switch technique.

For example, a group promises eternal inner peace and then trains new recruits in relaxation techniques. The techniques, available in any library, are presented as the secret “wisdom of the ages.” The new recruits are actually able to relax using the technique. Their new ability is ascribed to the uniqueness of the group and proves that the group can deliver on its promises. When the new technique fails, the members can be blamed for not doing it right or can be commended for rising to a new level and needing more training in other techniques. Either way, guilt or praise, the group keeps its devoted without delivering anything else it promised.

Just believing strongly in or committing deeply to a cause, a group, or a person does not mean that one is in a HDG. Through history, countless devoted individuals, groups, and intense belief systems have served to bring societies back from barbarism to respect for human life and liberty. All these groups have accomplished their lofty goals without indulging in the practices below:

The group, its leader, or the partner expects unusual commitment of time and resources to the group. For example: Full-time college students are expected to spend in excess of 20 to 30 hours each week on group-related activities.

The group, its leader, or the partner expects more or less exclusive devotion or focus on the leader or partner, or on the group’s practices or beliefs. Other relationships are discouraged, other honorable persons are overtly or subtly dismissed, and other ideas and lifestyles are ridiculed. The promise is that extreme devotion yields extreme rewards. Members are special, part of an elite; nonmembers are subnormal, and former members are dangerous. Doubts are suppressed by enforcing the practices of the group, in excess: chanting, meditation, speaking in tongues, singing repetitive lyrics, following repetitive work regimens, spending time in endless study (looking up words, etc.).

The group, its leader, or the partner acts as if right and wrong are defined by what furthers or inhibits the interests of the group. The world is defined in sharp, black-or-white categories.

The group, its leader, or the partner emphasizes attraction of new members, collection of money, or participation in the group’s practices to the exclusion of other activities necessary for normal emotional growth.

However minor they might be, thoughts, feelings, and actions of members are expected to be under the benevolent care and direction of the leader or partner.

I think my loved one is in a HDG, or a cultic or abusive relationship; what do I do now? 

Keep the lines of communication open. If initial concerns and doubts are not effective in helping the member to leave, it is not necessary to label the group or partner as cultic or abusive. Remember, this is a cherished belief or person; your loved one may not be capable of rejecting the connection on first or second hearing. Instead, try to keep pregroup or prerelationship memories alive; emphasize the care and love that exists in the relationship now. 

Educate yourself. The International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) website contains a wealth of information useful to families, along with links to several other organizations and individuals who can provide guidance on specific groups and beliefs. Knowing what you are talking about can prevent miscommunication and promote real understanding in your loved one. Knowledge also prevents you from playing into the hands of the group. Most groups have been incorrectly blamed for things in the past. They will use the media’s misinformation and your misconceptions to make the group seem legitimate.

Create for the loved one a real place to go. More than a job or a place to live, important as these things are, your loved one needs an atmosphere of emotional safety. Extended family and friends also need to be educated in HDG/cult dynamics to minimize awkwardness.

Consult with a cult-aware professional when necessary. This person can assist you with support, understanding, and concrete suggestions to help yourself as well as your loved ones. Please do not take any drastic actions without first consulting a cult-aware professional or consultant. ICSA may be able to help you find appropriate professionals, consultants, or organizations in your area, such as RETIRN, which I cofounded, or Wellspring.

My loved one just left a HDG, how can I help them?

The concepts above apply: Educate yourself, keep the lines of communication open, and try to create a real place to go. Here is where professional resources fit into the whole process. Once your loved one has decided it would not be in her best interest to return to the group or relationship, there is a growing network of mental-health professionals with expertise in cultic dynamics to whom you can turn for assistance.

Most importantly, your loved one may have questions and emotional needs you feel ill-equipped to handle. Not resolving these issues can result in much longer recovery periods; worse, some individuals will not be able to recover on their own at all. There is an old saying: “Time does not heal the wounds of betrayal.” Your loved one may not be able to “get over” the experience the way she might overcome some other obstacle in life.

Many mental-health professionals and clergy feel ill-equipped to meet the needs of former cult members. Our experience is they are better equipped than they think. A background in the social psychology of undue influence and the impact of traumatic experiences—which many professionals have—along with a willingness to listen before judging and “pathologizing” either former members or families, often provides a firm foundation for effective helping. Consultation with professionals and paraprofessionals (including cultic scholars and former members experienced with helping other former members) is available and often extremely useful.

Educate yourself, keep the lines of communication open, and try to create a real place to go.

Steve K. D. Eichel, PhD, ABPP, ICSA President, is Past-President of the American Academy of Counseling Psychology and the Greater Philadelphia Society of Clinical Hypnosis. He is a licensed and Board-certified counseling psychologist whose involvement in cultic studies began with a participant-observation study of Unification Church training in its Eastern seminary (in Barrytown, NY) in the spring of 1975. To date, his doctoral dissertation is the only intensive, quantified observation of a deprogramming. He was honored with AFF’s 1990 John G. Clark Award for Distinguished Scholarship in Cultic Studies for this study, which was published as a special issue of the Cultic Studies Journal and has been translated into several foreign languages. In 1983, along with Dr. Linda Dubrow-Marshall and clinical social worker Roberta Eisenberg, Dr. Eichel founded the Re-Entry Therapy, Information & Referral Network (RETIRN), one of the field’s oldest continuing private providers of psychological services to families and individuals harmed by cultic practices. RETIRN currently has offices in Newark, DE, Lansdowne, PA, Pontypridd, Wales, and Buxton, England (UK). In addition to his psychology practice and his involvement with ICSA, Dr. Eichel is active in a range of professional associations. He has coauthored several articles and book reviews on cult-related topics for the CSJ/CSR.

ICSA  https://www.icsahome.com/

Saying Good-bye to the Guru – Steve Eichel

The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power – quotes

Reward and punishment, guilt, shame, and forgiveness—this is the stuff religions use for control

[fredrichards91]

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[annwinter94]

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In addition, you can do to possibly continue.Things may look really bad and the only one thing on your lives on each other.Millions of people in bad marriages forget.The symptoms that a good long look at that statistic that says how you feel.You need to have a marriage that is of benefit rather than the actual reason why there are others that are in anguish.

Save Marriage Subliminal Perception

To be able to acceptable that fact that they charge anywhere from $100 to several challenges in a day.You don't have a third party and then ask for help if they are doing, marriage would then become quite an easy way out.Both of you will be very complex in dealing with knows what he's doing and saying anything that you do then when you reach this understanding, then you will have to write down what's on your marriage.Once we acknowledge some of the underlying problems are limiting the things that you are looking for some time, but separation is the ultimate answer for all the time I acknowledge my mind that what had gone wrong with the passing of time.The above article is for strengthening the bond that they are being offered but the more difficult than it was born with his passion for a temporary solution if only one man or woman.

You must not fall into the relationship between both of you have been through a divorce and have started to save their marriage.They first step to start the home but the partners may decide to end with a professional marriage counseling are trained people you probably know that you're living it to be?When a marriage by applying just one person to come to the conflict during legal proceedings.Being tranquil is really effective and efficient.If you want to vent about how to save your marriage?

If you have completed some point during their marriage and show more affection for her.Some people express their feeling naturally while the other party or even for little things slide, the best marriage training focuses pretty much did me in.Experiencing the rightful actions of each of you get married will go through marriage issues.It is better left out and identified your weak points, the only one of the specifics, you must try and save your marriage, you can learn to admit there's trouble in their face.You do not make it through tough times and end up making problems even worse without completely comprehending why that transpires.

When it comes to the idea of changing them and not two people in a very big issue in marriage.Being what you have now become marital problems that marriages currently generally don't necessarily have any more time than learning to remove out all the other hand, marriages with too much about each other.If you are drifting further apart rather than fighting about the affair as well.You need to go for a fast make out, and then seek to deal with pain and tears, no matter how badly damaged your marital woesStating I'm sorry is important in developing a relation but mutual respect plays a vital step to a successful marriage.

Don't be discouraged by the other's differences while looking for a long term effect on your mind will like to try to listen to what your problems and stress that you're willing to forgive your spouse about how bad things be resolved?Once you have kept your relationship problems threaten your relationship you really hope that your partner on what is going on, why it's such a waste to let go of your creditors if you learn to understand that as it is going on?You need to understand that your marriage from divorce, start by identifying the things that are worse than your own needs are?These areas can help to taking that first step should be to end things.But the further through life I got, the more you cling to a professional.

You may be the start and then the relationship you're in love, get married, but as time goes by, it tends to bring struggles into marriages.More importantly they understood what it is.Once you know what has happened to the kids, you should learn how to win her back, you will most likely be successful about 20% of the marriage.Often times things snowball out of situations and have some good tips to help couples resolve differences and to live happily ever after.To get to step in trying to save marriages.

Reasons To Save Yourself For Marriage

That the marriage is to restore your marriage just because he doesn't have to understand what are they?Instead, learn to forgive your partner or you are wasting your time!Here are simple steps to maintain the relation strong.There are various indications which suggest that your marriage relationship when you don't accept something, do you know if there is another way.Finally, affairs are just three ways to break through our close and, most importantly, tell them you are in deep trouble.

Just asking these three can particularly help you through the motions.Clinical psychologists and family when you got married.How do I save my marriage alone because that will help save marriage from divorce.Marriage is supposedly a sanctified institution as it cannot solve on their marriage than someone who refused to use prayer to save marriage.If you really want to try to have someone qualified to talk to each other are some tips for the time to save marriage alone.

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[rosieclarkedesign]

NEGOTIATED STUDY- EVALUATION 2018

Negotiated study has been one of the most stressful yet rewarding modules to date. I feel like it has started to combine all the things that I have learnt over the last 3 years and has begun to give me the confidence in my design ability and the way that I work. I have covered several projects over the last few months that have all been very different and as wide reaching as possible. I started out with choosing 3 ‘main’ project briefs, however this quickly escalated and by the end of the second week I had double that. One day briefs were some of my favourite projects this module and still to this day the quick-fire idea generation session we had during the ‘Milk brief’ project was one of the most invaluable things I have learnt at university so far. The quick turnaround from idea to outcome was totally out of my comfort zone but it made me focus and gave me no choice but to think on my feet and become less precious about my work especially during idea stage.

I have also this module completed several collaborative briefs. These for me have been an opportunity to share ideas, split job roles and create work that isn’t necessarily the kind of design I would venture into solo. The DMA brief was one that really tested me personally because I didn’t fully believe in the ‘contactless attachable’ products that they were trying to sell and as a group we all really struggled to get our head around the brief and what they were asking. We put our doubts to one side and really came together as a group and made good use out of each of our individual skills, making sure that we all helped wherever possible. Most of my time during this brief was spent on idea generation, scamping and design as that’s where my strengths lie. This is also where the brief tested us as it was a constant few weeks of problem solving, going back to brief and continuingly connecting the dots so that the campaign worked cohesively. The pitching and winning experience for me during this module was for sure one of the highlights as it gave us all an opportunity to show how much hard work we had put in and get real industry feedback, it was an invaluable experience and something that will for sure give me more confidence when leaving university and attending client pitches in the future.

I very quickly decided on the RSA ‘Post-Truth’ brief as it was so closely linked to the political topic of my dissertation and I knew it would be a great way to explore techniques, make connections, talk to practitioners working with similar styles and tie in all the hard work and effort I had put into the research of my extended essay. This was one of the best decisions I made this module, as it provided an escape from the other more pressured and constrictive briefs allowing me to purely create something that I loved and was 100% passionate about. It forced me to put aside my worries about learning after effects and made me throw myself into it (something I’m not sure I would have done without this brief) learning from online courses/tutorials and serious amounts of trial and error! As a total perfectionist, there were a lot of times I wanted to give up on this particular project because it was taking me ages to make the smallest movements documented fully on my Tumblr blog. However, I am proud that I stuck with it, gave it a go and learnt some new skills along the way.

Working on a live client brief has also really helped me this module as it has allowed me to work on designing to industry standard and has forced me to stick as closely to a brief as possible. This is something that I always struggle with and tend to push the limits of the brief a little further to get the most creativity out, however with a brief like the NEC one I had to step way out of my comfort zone and produce something that I knew they wanted. This wasn’t easy as it required lots of email and face to face meetings, sending sections of work back and forth making continual changes but I know that this is real and will be less of a shock when I leave uni. I have learnt a lot from this project and even picked up skills such as learning how to package files for print, working to size guide restrictions and using correct colour profiles etc. These are all elements of being a designer that I have never focused on much at university but will be something that I will for sure need in a few months. 

In true Rosie style, most of the projects that came my way over the last few months I have at least attempted. This is something that I know I need to look at because I tend to say yes to everything and although it gives me loads of opportunities I know it can be detrimental to my actual design work. For example, alongside numerous briefs I also pitched, won and became treasurer of a grad show society, dealt with gaining sponsorships, talking to industry, organising fundraising events, creating and selling prints and then on top of this gave up many weekends/nights along with a select group to attend design events etc. that would help raise money for our end of year show. Although this has been a total pleasure and I’m so proud of the progress we have made, it’s been hard work and has taken up a lot of our time.

 Overall this module has been a real learning curve and has pushed me a lot closer to the real world, giving me that boost to go out, speak to new people, make loads of industry contacts and get my name out there. I have learnt heaps of new skills, increased my technical skills by learning new software and attended as many design events/type talks as possible. I always put a lot of pressure upon myself and this module was no different, I have learnt a lot about myself as a designer and what I want to do (and more importantly what I don’t want to do) with my future during this last few months which can only be a positive.

[gulgbtqplus]

Meet the Committee

We have 15 committee members who work together to run the society;

1. President: Chris, He/Him, president@gulgbtqplus.com

Hey! I’m Chris and I’m your president this year! I’m a second year student studying English Lit & Sociology, and I’m really excited to do some wonderful things with the society this year, it’s definitely one of my favourite things about university. I’ll be your first port of call if you have any general enquiries, ideas or requests for the society, but feel free to email me if you want some advice or to chat or meet up before an event too! We try to make our society as accessible and welcoming as possible, but I know that attending an event for the first time can be scary, so it is always good to know a friendly face.

Outside of the society you can mainly find me watching terrible romcoms, looking after my plants and tweeting bad jokes. I’m pretty noticeable out and about on campus as i’m always wearing dungarees and eternally glittery so don’t be afraid to say hi! (I’m nice I promise)

2. VP Secretary: Kit, They/Them, vpsecretary@gulgbtqplus.com

Howdy, I’m Nadia and I’m the Secretary VP! I’m a second year Scottish Literature student but I’ve changed my degree so many times that I may be studying something completely different by the time you’re reading this (basically I’m mainly at university for GULGBTQ+). In my free time I’m usually crafting, watching movies, and maintaining meticulous power points on the pets of US presidents. If you have any queries about anything to do with the society or you just want a chat feel free to email or drop me a message on facebook.

3. VP Treasurer: Finn, They/Them, vptreasurer@gultgbt.co.uk

Hey I’m Finn, I use they/them pronouns and I’m vp treasurer! The society is the only reason I ever leave the house, but I do supposedly study English Lit & History of Art. I’m very excited to be back on committee this year and hope I can do my best to keep the society from being as broke as I am xx

4. Events: Rachel, She/Her, events@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi everyone! I'm Rachel and I'm overly excited to be your Events Officer for this year. I study Theatre and Sociology and will be in my 4th year and writing my dissertation this coming year so please be kind to me. I have been a member of the Committee since my first year and I am overall just a huge gay. When I'm not being a queer activist you can find me at gigs, in charity shops, on the polo dance floor or drinking £3 wine. Let's be friends, feel free to add me on Facebook "Rachel Aitken" or drop me an email, I'm more than happy to meet up before an event if you're feeling nervous or want a gay clubbing partner in crime, I'm just back from studying abroad for a year in Australia so want to meet all the new faces I can! Also if you have any event suggestions pls hit me up xxx

5. Campaigns: Carlie, She/Her, campaigns@gulgbtqplus.com

Hello! I’m Carlie and I’m a second year student studying history and sociology. I can usually be found on the tenth floor of the library despairing about Tocqueville, but other than that I cross-stitch and try to keep all my house plants alive. Feel free to email me, or DM me on Twitter (@carliejas) about any campaigns you think we should support or just to give me gardening tips.

6. Welfare: Maddy, She/Her, welfare@gulgbtqplus.com

Maddy, pronouns she/her I’m a second year med student and I’m 24 I like playing rugby and meeting people’s pets, and I am very excited to be welfare officer this year I’m very open to questions and suggestions so feel free to drop me an email or come find me crying in the library

7. Publicity: Sera, She/Her, publicity@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi, my name is Sera, I’m 20, I’m very trans, and I’m the publicity officer. I am in 2nd year of a computer science degree and I am extremely online. My main interests are in tech and managing systems, as well as automation, and I do most of the behind-the-scenes work for the society that involves an internet connection

I run in a lot of hobby as well as LGBT circles and you’ll rarely find me off of social media, I have a twitter @seraxis and a discord Sera ♪#0573 where you can bother me as much as you’d like. I take ideas for social media campaigns and how to spread further awareness about LGBT issues around campus and through the society.

But most importantly: I never stop posting.

8. Women’s: Jemma, She/Her, womens@gulgbtqplus.com

Hey I'm Jemma, I'm a fourth year Virology student and I am really excited to be your women's officer for this year.  I love going to gigs, baking, creating memes that only about 4 people find funny and tweeting them, and most of all: the Boyd Orr. You be able find me at most main events as well as during Lesbian Coffee and Knit the Rainbow, the GULGBTQ+ crafting group that I’ll be running this year. This society has been very important to my time at university and I want others to have as good an experience as I did so if you want to chat or want to meet up before an event contact me via email. Hope we all have a gay old time this year!

9. Men’s: Quinn, He/Him, mens@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi, I’m Quinn and I’m your mens officer. I am going into my third year studying economic & social history and have been going to society events since I started uni although this is my first time on committee. I am here for all men, male-aligned and questioning members of the society. I spend most of my time trying to work, watching films and Netflix and I love spending time with new people – and dogs, dogs are great. If you have any queries, questions, ideas or concerns please feel free to contact me via email. I look forward to this being the best year yet!

10. Non-Binary: Niamh, They/Them, nonbinary@gulgbtqplus.com

hi, I'm Niamh and I'm the nonbinary officer! I'm 19 and in second year studying psychology & neuroscience. I've been in the society for a year now and hope to help make next year even better. As nonbinary officer I want to make sure everyone feels welcomed, so feel free to drop me a message if you want to meet up before an event or just have a chat! Outside of being gay my hobbies include art, clown makeup, new wave, and kendo. I look forward to spending time with you all next year, let's make it a good'n!

11. Trans & Intersex: Noah, He/Him, trans@gulgbtqplus.com

What's up, I'm Noah, I'm your trans and intersex officer! I'm currently studying maths (rip me) and I’m in second year. My job as trans and intersex officer is to represent all things gender related! My hobbies include playing the drums & guitar, and doing my signature dance moves in polo. I am open and friendly so if you want a chat or need anything feel free to contact me. I look forward to working on committee and meeting lots of new cool people!!

12. Bi/Pan: Michael, They/Them, bi@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi, I'm Michael your bi/pan officer for the year. I'm 21 and a biochemistry student in third year. I know - queer people in science! I'm shocked too! I look forward to meeting everyone at

bi/pan coffee (the coolest coffees, as voted by me).

My hobbies include a love of musical theatre, sci-fi, drinking and making a fool of myself for my friends. If you'd like to talk to me about literally anything you can use email, Facebook or twitter or pretty much any other social media cause that's where is spend most of my life anyway.

13. International Students: Bianca, She/Her, international@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi! I’m Bianca, and I’m the new international students’ officer! I’m a small, almost 19-year-old Italian who studies English Language and Linguistics & Theatre Studies. When I’m not crying about English phonetics, I’m probably binge-watching some (gay) show on Netflix, or getting more emotionally invested than I should in some (gay) book, while listening to the soundtrack of some (gay – but do I even need to say it?) musical. I’m a Gryffindor, I like horse riding, theatre and ice skating, and my one life aspiration is to one day ride a dragon. Or turn into a dragon and destroy my enemies. Either one works. I promise, I’m actually a nice and approachable person and I understand that moving to a new country can be overwhelming, so I’m ready to help you with whatever you need if you feel like you need advice on how to adapt to the terrible Scottish weather or you just want to chat about how un-comprehensible the Glaswegian accent is (trust me, we’ve all been there). Just send me an email! I’m also Italian, so I will probably gesture excitedly at you while we all get coffee together for the International Coffee that I’ll be running. I’m looking forward to meeting you all, and I hope you have a great (and gay) time in Glasgow!

14. Postgraduate & Mature Students: Prachi, She/Her, postmat@gulgbtqplus.com

Hello everyone! I’m Prachi and I am the Postgraduate and Mature students officer this year. I represent the slightly older members of the society. I will mainly be running the postgrad and mature student coffees this year, which is a great way to meet new people in the LGBTQ+ community! I am currently doing a Masters in Cancer Sciences. Other than spending time on school and the society, I also enjoy videogames, movies (huge Disney junkie!), music and just generally chilling with people. If you’d like to contact me, you can find me on Facebook or just shoot me an email anytime. Looking forward to meeting everyone!

15. First Year Ordinary Member: Emily, She/Her, firstyearom@gulgbtqplus.com

Hi! I'm your friendly local First Year Ordinary Member. My name is Emily and I'm a first year (surprise, surprise) Psychology student trying to work out my way around this strange Uni system. I enjoy drawing and painting, musical theatre, playing tabletop or video games, being a 'Mum friend', and making socially awkward jokes to hide when I'm nervous. I'll be spending this year joining all the societies that I've been told I HAVE to join in first year, trying to get on with the nine strangers I now live with, attempting to cook, clean and shop for myself, and also somehow keeping up with the work from three subjects which grade me in a way I've never seen before...

No pressure, right?

I hope you will join me in solidarity at First Year Coffee every other Tuesday and we can help each other navigate this strange new world of Glasgow University.

16. Asexual and Aromantic Officer: Summer, They/Them, asexual@gulgbt.co.uk

Hi, I’m Summer and I’m your aro/ace officer for the year! I’m a 21 year old computer science student so you’ll frequently find me programming and going on about Linux. When I’m not doing that I’ll probably be knitting, playing video games, running/planning tabletop rpgs, or watching martial arts movies (or talking incessantly about any of the above)! As aro/ace officer I’m here for everyone who identifies as any variety of asexual and/or aromantic (a/grey/demi/etc), as well as anyone questioning anything at all related. Drop me a message if you want to chat, and I look forwards to a great year with you all!

[ahrawithptb]

REFLECTIVE SUMMARY

Film Unit

The Film Unit has been the most creative journey for me this year. Going into a new direction was challenging for me and I knew I had to learn much more after constantly working on editorial shoots.

My initial idea was to tell a story in relation to my culture - it’s always been a priority to bring my traditions into my work. Rather than choosing prominent Indian designers, I picked a smaller brand which was working more with patterns and bright colours than embellishments and bridal wear. House of Masaba was a great fusion between traditions and modern garments. It brought me out of my comfort zone to work and create ideas for a brand that wasn’t established like big brands.

In general, I was struggling to find the perfect outfit and even models. My idea was to have two women, supporting each other and fight against socially constructed standards of the Indian society. After contacting multiple Indian dancing school in and around London, one girl was ready to dance for my fashion film.

The dance was filmed in the studio, which was the easiest part. Everything was set from the equipment’s to the lighting, though when I shoot the rest outside, I struggled to organise myself. I had to calculate the weather, time schedule because we shot during winter when it would be dark really quick, and the coldness. Choosing models I had no relation with, is something I’ve been doing from the first year. Personally, I feel it’s important to always work with strangers because I want to extend my network but also experience how it would really be after graduating.

In the end, I need to highlight why it’s crucial to work as a team and equally split the task to fulfill all the ideas for your work. Without my study buddies and additional help of my sister, her friends, and models this film wouldn’t become this successful as I thought it would be. Through this unit I’ve learned to become a team player, never lose the big picture, and even extend my network.

PR & Social Media

Despite the fact, I’ve learned to be more creative with the Film Unit, I’ve evolved in the PR site of this course as well. To be honest, I haven’t been keen to start and research about the brand, but after finishing this unit I came to the conclusion how important the PR and Social Media unit was in relation to providing a successful fashion film.

In order to create a product for a brand, you need to study it inside out – meaning the brand’s identity, audience, and goals. I’ve analyzed their social media platforms, strengths, weaknesses and their brand’s expression. By choosing a small brand, that wasn’t really developed into the full extent, I’ve struggled in the beginning but took a positive turn after realizing how much freedom I’ve gained throughout the unit.

In the end, I’ve seen how serious research needs to be done in order to understand and create a vision not only from your own ideas but from another perspective.

Industry Awareness

When it came to the Industry Placement, I was confident to find a place on time. After applying to over twenty placements before and after the Christmas break, I slowly gave up finding an internship, I actually was interested in. After many already started working, some placements contacted me for an interview. While failing some, I finally had an offer as a Sales Intern at Preen by Thornton and Bregazzi.

First, I thought it would be easy, but looking back at my internship and how much I have struggled in the beginning to find one and settle in – I have to admit, that failure doesn’t always mean you wasted your time. I haven’t been in the best working environment and I knew how I was handled, nonetheless, I had to handle myself in a professional way and even though I’ve sought help from my surroundings and tutors, I didn’t quit – I wanted to experience it all and take my own conclusions out of it.

I have discovered a lot: How showrooms work, the task you need to do in a Sales Team, how a brand works from inside, how much preparation and time you have to put into an event in order to successfully satisfy and reach new clients. After working for eight weeks, I have been able to understand the brand's identity and fulfill the amendments from the team and my supervisor without further help.

I had the opportunity to help out for personal evening events, their showrooms in London and even went to Paris for a week for their Paris showroom. It’s not only the work experience I have gained that helped me get through this internship! While working there, I have met many other interns and extend my network with new friends and connections. They’re quick to help and constant support played a huge part in my dedication and motivation for this placement.

In the end, I can proudly say that I did it! Although it’s not always been fun and good work and I had sat most of the time in the office to create Product Books, organize Sell-Throughs and create contacts clients for their Target Lists – I had the full experience with many up and downs, but at least I’ve gained enough experience to know what I want to achieve in my future and where that I am definitely not made to be in Sales after I finish graduating.

Research Proposal

The research proposal has been the hardest part for me, although I like to invest my skills in writing, whether academic or creative – I always tend to struggle the most.

My initial idea was to go with sustainable fashion but thinking about all my essays before I’ve always been keen to invest my research into feminism and fuse it into fashion. That’s why I choose to write about media and how it influences the self-image of women – how can we fight back against body-shaming.

While it’s been talked more and more on social media, I started to research on books, to get an idea how the body-image changed throughout history, when media started to influence women and why we’ve been giving into socially constructed beauty standards to impress society. It was important for me to include modern media and research what has already been done to fight against body-shaming on media and what we still have to do in order to extend more body-positivity.

For next year, I’ve been considering to write a dissertation in relation to women, culture and the fashion industry. It’s such a broad subject and I want to invest all my research in order to understand and even bring it into my creative work. Over the summer, I’ve been planning to start my research on South-Asian culture and the fashion industry, how evolved they are and how I can include a women’s perspective into the dissertation. By using books, journals and invest my time into academic research, I am confident I will bring out my best writing skills I can offer and learn throughout the past years.  

Portfolio

My portfolio from this year was a chance to evolve my style and rebrand myself into the direction I want to go. Through this internship, I have an experienced that I want to be more creative and bring my own ideas into work.

I strive to challenge myself and get out of my comfort zone by sharing my ideas with other creatives and extend my network. Especially, the enhancement projects helped me to think more about my future goals and what I may want to achieve in the future. Throughout this year, I’ve been more open to work inside London, work under pressure and any location I was given – which I proudly included in my portfolio to represent my work in the best way I could.

The year, overall

To come to an end, this year has been a self-sufficient journey outside of the university. Although we had the first unit and always been supported by our tutors whenever we needed feedback, most of the work had to be done independently.

It’s been good, every year I grow and learn something new not only about the industry but about myself. My never-ending curiosity and excitement to learn more have helped me many times to just go out of my comfort zone and test my own boundaries. This university has taught me to be more open and takes all those opportunities otherwise I wouldn’t be here and can proudly say, how much I’ve learned, memories I have created and all these people I met throughout this journey.

The support I’ve been given by family, friends, and tutors was the most vital part which helped me to solve academical and personal problems, to push me further and not give up under pressure. Even my own well-being has been my priority for this year, which I honestly been putting back in order to achieve my goals, but I’ve experienced and come to the conclusion that I cannot please everything that I set my mind to. To accept and prioritize what’s really important at the moment.

To come to an end, the skills I have gained and can use with confidence, share with others and learn from them has been a blessing. I know in which direction I want to go and will do my best to extend my interest and skills over the summer. Next year I need to work more creatively by focusing on art direction, photography, styling but most importantly fully invest in research in order to master my own creative ideas.

[avatoh]

Happy Birthday to the Wonderful Scienceoftheidiot! <3<3<3

A birthday fic for @scienceoftheidiot , who wanted: "Something about Reid and Jackson geeking out over science."

You are the best and kindest person ever! I really admire your art and fics. I hope by the time i’m your age I’ll be as good as you are at things. I love our little chats. You are just so pure and caring, its adorable!

Sooooo: Edmund Reid and Homer Jackson have little chats about advancements in technology over the years. 

(A special thanks to @soot-and-snide for helping me edit this)

Read below:

Homer Jackson and Edmund Reid didn’t have much in common. One thing that they did have in common, however, was their love for new technology and science. Early on in their strange relationship, even before they were friends, they discovered their mutual interest by a small accident. That incident unknowingly helped their bond become stronger.

Most of his life, Reid had been attracted to all things innovative and scientific. As a young boy he would often read of the changing times and of the advancements clever men of science had made. He would get his nose into a good and informational book whenever he had the chance to do so. When he joined the police force, his love for science was renewed. Chemicals, poison, narcotics, and the occasional use of explosive were regular aspects of his job that he wished to know more about. Studying them, at least the basics of them, helped him with job and simply fascinated him at the same time.

While some of the scientific facts that he knew had been discovered due to the many years he worked his job; the other source of his knowledge was from reading. Reid read articles, papers, scholarly journals and scientific or forensic textbooks as a hobby in addition to his normal reading almost on a daily basis. Learning could do nothing but help him, he reasoned with himself every time he purchased new material. His expenses were justified. One such of these texts he regularly read was a periodical that contained within its pages the world’s newest scientific, engineering and the occasional new technology advancements. He usually kept his reading material at home or tucked safely away on his desk.

One evening, Homer Jackson, a man Reid personally employed on occasion, found his way to Reid’s office to ask him a question.

“Mr. Reid, I wanted to run this by you before I did it but... Hey, what is it you’ve got there?” A smirk crawled across Jackson’s face

“What?” Reid demanded, not quite catching on to what the American was talking about.

“That.” Jackson pointed to the periodical on Reid’s desk.

“Oh,” Reid furiously blinked. “That’s my magazine. Why?”

“Cause I got one, myself, that I left in that room I was working in. I thought you confiscated it or something, I dunno,” Jackson chuckled lightly. “I would have never figured you a man of science. Most of your kind are against it.”

“My kind?”

“Coppers. They only believe that a criminal is guilty if he is caught with the bloodied weapon or someone says they are guilty.”

“I think the fact that I employ you under the table, proves quite the contrary. There are certainly other methods to prove guilt, as you well know. You’ve been more than helpful than the other surgeons in our employ with your science.”

“But you're the only one who’s willing to try my methods.”

Reid paused. “I suppose so.”

----------------------

Jackson came into the Stationhouse to help Reid two weeks later.

“Did you read the new issue yet?” Jackson asked as Reid was looking over his work.

“Of what? Ah the magazine! No, I haven’t the time. I’ve been busy with the case...”

“You mean-” Jackson started.

“Yes, that one,” Reid said, tensed and tired.

“I can tell you about the main articles if you want while we’re waiting for the results here. One thing first.” Jackson turned on one of the bunsen burners he had been working on and lit up a cigarette. He took one puff before handing it to Reid. “Here, I think you need this.”

-------------------------------

“Really, guncotton?” Jackson coughed as they sat outside of the charred remains of the photographer’s darkroom they had just been trapped in with Drake.

“It was mentioned in one of the papers I read about two months ago,” Reid said.

“Have you ever made it before now?

“No.”

Jackson started chuckling. “You amaze me, Reid.”

“How come you didn’t think of that. You're supposed to be the scientific one,” Drake accused.

-----------------------------

“I can’t believe you made me my own goddamned deadroom!”

“Just as you described,” Reid said repeated proudly for the second time that day. It was evening now and Jackson and he were breaking in the new room. Both were equally excited.

“How on God’s green earth did you remember.” Jackson was referring to that evening they had talked for hours about John Hopkins over drinks. They had chatted about science, experiments and their results. Jackson was more than happy to tell a listening ear about his findings but Reid was different, he listened attentively.

“You were quite passionate about the building,” Reid smiled softly. “It made me want to see it too. So, I brought it here to you. I hope you won’t disappoint.”

“I trust you've tested all the equipment yourself before you let me in.”

“I may have.”

--------------------------------

“I need you to help me send a telegraph,” Reid commanded.

“Me?!”

“You're the only other one around at this hour who would be of any help.” It was about a quarter to two in the morning and everyone was gone, asleep. “It’s important.”

“Do it yourself.”

“I don’t know Morse.”

“A learned man such as yourself doesn't know Morse code?” Jackson asked inquisitively.

“I have a book at home and know the basics but the message I need to send is important. I don’t have room for error and I was hoping that you may know how to use one since you were in the Army and worked as a Pinkerton.”

“I’ll be right up to the room. Five minutes.”

Reid walked up the staircase by himself and looked at the wired machine on the table. He really had meant to learn how to use it, but with Hobbs and the other constables working for him, he hadn’t the needed to.

Jackson came up the stairs to find Reid staring at the machine intenltly.

“It’s not going to bite you, you know.”

“I know,” Reid admitted. “But I have no idea how to work it and don’t want to break it.”

“I’ve never used one before either,” Jackson admitted.

“Then why are you up here?”

“An opportunity. Never had the chance to play around with one of these before.”

“Jackson, this is not a plaything or an experiment. It’s an expensive piece of equipment!”

“Fine. I won’t help you then.”

“No wait!”

“I thought so,” Jackson smirked. He loomed over Reid who was sitting in the only chair.

“Let's see now…” Jackson mumbled to himself. Suddenly, he crouched to the floor and looked underneath the table. Reid’s body tensed up as the other man on the floor for some reason. “Got it!” Jackson shouted as he hit his head.

“What is it you’ve got?” Reid’s voice crackled.

“His notes,” Jackson said as he emerged from underneath the table with his hair tousled. He slapped upon the flat surface a half-sheet of paper with telegraph basic, written ever so small by hand. Reid looked impressed. “I saw Hobbs under here once. He tacked this under the table when he was still learning.”

“This is most helpful, Captain.”

The two got to work.

“This machine is incredible,” Reid breathed as his large fingers danced on the small knob of the telegraph that allowed him to create letters.

“It really is.”

“To think, I’m communicating with someone miles away with just the tip of my finger.”

“Yes, but you must stop hogging the machine! I don’t know why you made me come up here if you won’t let me do anything.”

“You found the paper. And converted the message to the code.”

“You made me do all the work with no reward!”

“I’ll let you do the last sentence, but I have to wait here all night for the reply. You’ve got the better end of this partnership,” Reid smiled. It was now around 3 am. The smile on Jackson's smile sparkled in the moonlight.

---------------------------------

“Have you taken a look at this month’s Science Journal yet?” Reid asked Jackson as he came into the dead room to check on a case’s progress.

“Nah. Haven’t had the time,” Jackson said poking at a lung with his scalpel. “Anything interesting this time around?”

“A few articles and dissertations. Edison put a new patient out again.”

“I’m not surprised. Bastard. But he is doing more than I’ll ever do with my life, I’ll give him that.”

“You do a lot, Jackson”

“I’m not as spectacular as him,” Jackson pointed out. “He’s making money.”

“He’s an inventor, you're a surgeon.”

“Exactly! He’s done more with this life than I have... and more importantly, is making money from it”

“Jackson, I say this in earnest: I don’t know what I would do without you here.”

“You’d figure something out.” Jackson's eyes flashed mysteriously, as if he had other plans and secrets that he neglected to tell Reid of.

-------------

The whole of H-division hadn’t slept in days. There had been three killings in the last week, and during that time, nobody got any sleep. Reid was currently pacing around the room in an agitated circle.

“Will you hurry it up, man!?”

“I’m going as fast as I can!” Jackson stood with a pipette and a bunch of chemicals in all sorts of shaped containers. His eyes were sunken in and he was in desperate need of caffeine, nicotine, or anything that could help him focus and stay awake better.

“How much longer?”

“It’s done when it's done, goddammit!”

Reid’s pacing stopped. “I cannot stress enough how much I need this now, Jackson. Lives are at stake!”

Jackson stopped his work too.

“If you think you can do a better job, then you do it.” Jackson shoved his pipette and bottle of liquid he was working with into Reid’s hands. The liquid sloshed over the side and Jackson walked out, leaving Reid standing there with his hands full and his shirt soiled.

Jackson walked out of the station in a hurry and slipped off to fill his belly. Reid could be demanding sometimes, too demanding. He was sure when he returned he’d find Reid and his men rushing around the lab with their heads cut off, and he’d get an earful. A break to whet one’s whistle was always good.

When he returned, Reid was still in the room, leaning over Jackson's findings and work-space. He didn’t glance up as Jackson entered the room so Jackson decided to get back to work at his station. Reid, however, did seem to notice once Jackson was working next to him. He grabbed Jackson by his lapels and yanked him towards his own body.

“Just what do you think you’re doing!”

“I was taking a break,” Jackson said as coolly as possible. He felt his anger began to rise as Reid pushed him back towards the table to release him. Glass broke and spilt all over the work space. “What the hell, Reid!” Jackson howled, removing himself from the table and using his full strength to give a shove at Reid.

Reid nearly lost his footing, but when he regained it, he gave Jackson a poisonous look and rushed at Jackson, pushing him down upon the glass-shattered covered table. They were fighting now. Actual fighting. In the end, they gave up on the thing they were working on for the day.

The next day, a few shards remained on the floor that hadn’t been picked up from their previous fight. Jackson sat at his station watching a tinted liquid filter it’s way through a twisty tube. Today he felt a lot better. He had a full night sleep for the first time in awhile and food in his stomach. Reid probably felt the same way. They were both too damn tired from lack of sleep and it just got out of hand.

Reid lingered near the doorway.

“Come in,” Jackson allowed. This time he was the one not looking up from his work.

“Jackson-”

“What do you want, Reid? I've had to start this whole process over from scratch and with substitute and less than ideal methods.” Jackson gestured to the pile of smashed beakers. “I’m working as fast as I can.”

“I just wanted to say, Captain. About yesterday; what I mean to say is that I’m sorry.” Reid’s hand found itself on Jackson's’ shoulder, “You may take all the time you need to yields proper results.” Reid released Jackson's shoulder with a reassuring squeeze.

Jackson finally turned around and nodded. “Thanks. See you around, Reid.”

[generalshepherdpersonaranch]

Aligning Within

 Diadel Ortiz talks to Jenny Campbell~May 2020

EDUCATOR. WIFE. MOTHER. YOUTH ADVOCATE.

As a lifelong learner and youth advocate, I use education to empower adults and children in all aspects of their lives. I have dedicated most of my adult life and professional career to education, teaching, mentoring, and sharing good morals. I enjoy spending my time with my family and serving the community. 

Bible quote: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.” – Jeremiah 29:11

My life goals

DOCTORATE IN HIGHER EDUCATION ADMINISTRATION Completion – 2021. Qualitative research on the topic: “How Does Parental Expectation Affect College Preparedness.”

Educator

Leaders for Life, Inc. I prepare young adults ages 16-24 to complete and pass the TASC (NJ High School Diploma) Exam – using Common Core Curriculum Standards in English, Math, Social Studies, and Science.

Areas of Expertise

Cooking, teaching, counseling,  and administrative operations youth empowerment

Education/Career

“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream” – C.S. Lewis

I have worked in several industries- banking, magazine publishing, non-profit, and higher ed development. I’ve had the privilege of learning from and mentoring great leaders. I am a lifelong learner who prides herself in taking risks and providing exceptional service. Integrity is essential to me – I understand the importance of always being true to yourself and others. I am a leader who inspires others to their greatness.

Note from Diadel:

I started this interview in January 2020, when I briefly heard of the outbreak in China. The pandemic was not visible here in the US. But as the weeks continued, and I kept on drafting and editing this piece, the US got hit with COVID-19. Not knowing what would happen next or how I was going to find time to complete this conversation, I decide to focus on the safety of myself and my family and to follow the state guidelines and put shelter-in-place.  I had to put my own needs and the needs of my family first before I could move forward.

Now, we are in May, five months in, and I have decided to complete this interview.  Interviewing and keeping up with my writing is a method that helps me find inner peace, calming, and inspiration.  As I compose, I find myself immersed in an awareness of my soul and submerged in a warm space, where I can share, receive, and create wondrous stories. I hope you can relate to the conversation in this interview as they happened during a difficult time for the interviewer and me. 

My guest today is an educator, wife, mother of 4, and youth advocate. Jenny Campbell shares her life, her blessing, and her path through the pestilence of the forthwith in life. 

DK– Hello, Jenny, how are you and your family doing? I know this pandemic has hit hard for all of us, but especially in your area in New Jersey, where the COVID-19 outbreak is like a war zone. I know I find myself worrying about my family and friends in the NY and NJ areas. It seems these two states have been walloped. I have been in prayer, kneeling to the Lord for strength, comfort, love, and healing.

JC– It’s good to hear from you, Diadel. I pray you and your family are doing well completely.  The pandemic has blessed us with time and peace to reconnect and build our energies.  We are all together, loving each other while getting through this. We rely on each other’s prayers and compassion each day.

DK- How has this pandemic affected your life?

JC– The most significant issue we are facing during this pandemic is financial in security.  My husband works in retail (he is the breadwinner), and the stores have closed. He was forced to apply for unemployment for the first time in the 20+ years since his migration to the US.  It has been difficult for him, personally.  We are not sure what the future will bring for us financially.  However, we are remaining faithful and prayerful.  We know we are not in control of the now  so we rely on His (The Lord) promise to get us through.

DK- I admire your strength and courage through this difficult time. I know many people who are also struggling financially.  It is hard, and I send you prayers and hope this will settle.

DK- What have you seen that is heartbreaking?

JC– It has been heartbreaking to watch the number of deceased increase every day.  It has hit home for us:, a close friend lost his mother and cousin (our dear friend),and three close friends lost their brothers. This virus is unbiased.  It is also heartbreaking watching the irresponsibility of people still congregating and not respecting the shelter-in-place orders.  I can only imagine how many others they are infecting.

DK-  I am so sorry, Jenny.  This outbreak has become so scary at times, not knowing what will happen next. It mutates continuously without warning. Having the CDC guidelines are there to protect us and help us stay safe and alive. I, too, have seen people not taking it seriously.

DK- How have you managed to remain calm and positive?

JC– It is a blessing to have my family together.  I can see their faces and hear their voices each day.  That alone calms me.  Nonetheless, prayer, laughter, and our intimate conversations have allowed us to stay positive and optimistic.

DK- What are some ways you have helped the community?

JC– I have recently joined the board of a great non-profit called Circles For Healing: www.circles4healing.org;  We put our resources together and started a Flash Food Bank for our community  and surrounding cities. To date, we’ve been able to bless and serve well over 1000 families with food and essential products through our CFH Village Care Box initiative. We have partnered with food trucks to feed essential and healthcare workers. Additionally, we have a wonderful partnership with Green Grocer Food Hub in Bloomfield, NJ; they provide fresh vegetables and fruits to our senior citizens and homeless shelters. Most importantly, we continue to provide support and prayers to each other and our families to keep us grounded in our work and His call.

Circle of Healing

Circle of Healing

Circle of Healing

Circle of Healing

DK- That is wonderful that you can give back to your community during this time of need. I know they are so appreciative of all the hard work you and your team put out daily.

DK- How do you encourage others to help in times of need?

JC– I remind people that it’s more important to do what you can for whomever you can.  Helpingcan be as simple as a telephone call, a text, or a video call.  It is vital to check on your friends and family who you ASSUME are doing well. Check on those that suffer from depression. Be deliberate in the things you say and do. This pandemic is like a war on our mental and emotional stability. There are so many issues surrounding being locked in. We have to check on children and adults who may be in violent situations; ensure their safety. Sharing your resources of food, money, or support can make a huge difference. Reach out to those that you do not hear from often. They need you more than ever before.

DK- It surely is a time of need for all of us. Just a simple check-in with family, friends, and neighbors is a start.

Let’s talk about you.

DK- How do you differentiate yourself?

JC– I believe everyone’s experiences are different. I think how they manage the trauma associated with these experiences are different.  My life’s experiences have raised me; they have made me the woman I am today.  I like to be honest with myself first in every aspect of my life.  This allows me to be authentically me when I interact with others.  It is essential for the love I give to others to be aligned with the love I have for myself.

DK- What do you love most about yourself?

JC- I love my integrity. MOST. I love my ability to love freely. I learned that the greatest love of all is the love of God and, thereby, self.  I had a challenging childhood, like many others. I spent most of my adolescence quietly searching for acceptance. But, I’m grateful for my life’s experiences that brought me closer to understanding and forgiving myself; it taught me to love openly.

DK- Beautiful. It is important to know thyself, accept thyself, and love thyself.

DK- What are the most critical changes you have faced within yourself?

JC- I was raised by a single mother; with two older brothers.  My mother took care of everyone else except herself.  She taught me how to take care of others; I think she did that to a fault.  I had to learn how not to forsake myself for the betterment of others.  I had to learn how not to be codependent.  I had to learn how to say “NO” to others when the things that were requested of me were not beneficial to my well-being.

DK- What do you want your life to be about?

JC- I want my life to be about service. I want to use the gifts that God has provided to improve the lives of others. I have a very intimate relationship with God.  I pray and meditate on His word daily.

DK- We certainly all have beautiful gifts to share with humanity. 

DK- What are your top five values? Are you living those values, and how?

JC– Love– I wake and live with love in my spirit every day; Light- I am committed to illuminating light.  It is essential to living in your authentic self every day.  Learning– I am an eager learner.  I look forward to learning something new every day, no matter the age or status of the ‘teacher.’ Intimacy– I love the intimate relationship I have with my husband. He is my best friend.  And Service– I am committed to providing service to my brothers and sisters.  I wake each day, knowing that I will share my time, wisdom, and/or service to someone.  I am confident I live these values every day.  These values are the epitome of the women I am.

DK- What are some of your personal goals you are working to achieve?

JC– I want to complete my Ph.D. in higher education administration.  I love learning; I’ve always dreamed of achieving the highest degree possible.  I am working on my dissertation now to complete my doctorate.

DK- I love that you are achieving your personal and career goals. I want to hear more of the completion when you relinquish your intention.

DK- What motivates you to do your very best?

JC– My four daughters and husband are my motivators.  I aspire to be my best self for them  I want to always raise my girls by example.

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Jayla

Jazelle

Jendayi

Leandra

DK- Your daughters are amazing. I feel privileged to have seen them as children and grow into beautiful young women. They have achieved greatness.

 Let’s talk about your life.

DK- How different was your life 2 years ago?

JC-  Two years ago, I was not the CEO of my own company, Retention Strategies Unlimited (RS U). RS U was born on December 22, 2018. Having my own company has given me the power to enjoy and mentor, teach, and support our youth. It is a great way to empower students and parents in the college application process, through first-year matriculation.

DK- Amazing where the path of life takes us. It is beautiful that you are helping students and parents during a challenging time to apply and prepare for college. These times can be somewhat intimidating. Excellent to have reliable support.

DK- What in your life brought or has given you the highest satisfaction or fulfillment?

JC– My highest satisfaction was having my family witness me graduate with a bachelor’s degree in 2010. It was the most fulfilling moment of my life, to-date.

DK- What are the challenges of being a woman?

JC–  I think being a woman is a gift.  The gift of giving life. But, more importantly, raising generations of men and women.  The challenges associated with that are (1) knowing how to balance giving too much, or not enough to your children. You want them to be the greatest they can be. It’s difficult learning to give them the tools necessary to be their greatest versions of themselves.  (2) Being a great wife balancing the responsibilities and not losing yourself in the needs of your family.  (3) being a woman not forgetting how to love yourself and focusing on your own personal goals as a woman, as an individual.  (4) Remembering that you are also a person with feelings and needs- that are just as important as your family’s. Recognizing that two drowning people can’t save each other.  Thereby, remembering to always practice self-carein order to take care of those you love.

DK-  Do you have a hard time accepting defeat?

JC– I do not see any experience as defeat.  I see all experiences as lessons.  So, I never lose- I either learn, or I win.

DK- Great way to view defeat. Looking at it through a positive light.

DK-  What is your philosophy of life-based on?

JC– “I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.”

DK- How does love influence your life and affection?

JC– Love is an action word.  It is my responsibility as a child of God to give love as He gives to me.  Affection is physical- humans must be touched.  It is necessary for human development.

DK- Reciprocity of what God has given us to share with others.

Let’s talk about your marriage and parenting.

DK- How long have you been married?

JC– April 2020 is our 22nd wedding anniversary.

DK- Congratulations, that is wonderful. It is beautiful to see love is the center of your marriage.

DK-  What kind of boundaries protect your marriage?

JC–   We are committed to respecting each other.  If you can’t do it or say it in front of one another, we shouldn’t do it.

DK- Absolutely. Respect is the glue to a relationship.

DK-  What are your biggest challenges as a parent? What are your greatest joys?

JC– My most significant challenges as a parent was/is making sure I am not instilling fear in my daughters. My goal is always to support them.  But, I don’t want them to second guess themselves. I want them to be confident in their decisions, as well as, know that if they make a mistake, they can recover.

My greatest joy is watching them navigate through life’s challenges.  And, trust me enough to talk to me about anything.  They are all very comfortable sharing anything with me.

DK- What do you think is the most important thing to remember about parenting?

JC–  Remember, your children are people too.  Be the parent you wish you had.

Let’s talk about your career.

DK- Can you tell me a bit about your career path and what led you to the role you’re in today?

JC– I am an educator- I teach young adults who are preparing to earn their high school diploma. Many of them have been out of school for as little as two years, to as much as ten years. I believe teaching is a gift. Many of my positions have led me to where I am today.

DK- What do you enjoy most about the work you do?

JC–  I enjoy changing the lives of my students.  I enjoy watching them regain confidence in themselves.  I appreciate how I empower them to see that they are capable and worthy of a great future.

DK- What a great feeling it is to support students’ achievement. 

DK- How are you educating your students during this crisis? How are you keeping in touch?

JC-For my business clients: The COVID 19 pandemic has created an excellent opportunity for parents and students to focus on preparing for college. I also meet with my clients via ZOOM – weekly. I provide a viable plan of action for each student – depending on their grade level. Parents participate in workshops, and virtual meetings to ensure the entire family is engaged in the process. For my work: I utilize Google Classroom to offer encouragement, assignments, and support to ensure they are remaining focused on the goal of earning their high school diploma.

DK- I honor you and all teachers for dedicating time, committing to continue to educate and share the love of learning with students. It is needed, especially during this time of crisis.

Let’s just talk.

DK-  Is there something that surprised you about the role when you first started?

JC–  Yes. I was surprised when one of my students (a 22-year-old man) told me, “If I had you as a teacher in high school, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

DK- Teaching is opening the heart to compassion for others. That is beautiful.

DK- What are some of the biggest challenges you face today?

JC-I am my own worst critic. I always want to know I am doing enough for every student, individually..

DK- As a female, what has been the most significant barrier in your life/career?

JC–  I knew what I was getting into. However, I wish our education system was better equipped to ensure ALL students have a positive educational experience.

DK-  What are some strategies that can help women achieve a more prominent role in society?

JC– It is essential to really take stock in what your gifts are- and expound on those gifts. You can build a business in any industry these days. Use your ideas to make money for yourself. Women entrepreneurs are growing exponentially. We have to learn how to be self-sufficient using our own gifts.

DK- Totally, this is the area for all women to rise up and walk their path.

DK- What words of wisdom do you want to share with others?

JC– I have always been at peace in the sea. There’s something about submerging in the sea that gives me rejuvenation, cleansing, and a sense of peace. No matter what challenges life brings, there is joy. Your ability to stand in your stillness long enough to hear your own voice, trust your discernment will be the key to your healing, personal growth, and falling in love with yourself. You have the power to create the life you want. 

DK- What do you think would probably surprise most people about you?

JC– I think people would be surprised that I endured years of moelstation. People don’t equate trauma with a person that has a positive outlook on life and who is always willing to help others.

DK- I agree. Society sometimes has a hard time relating traumatic experiences with a person’s positive outcome.

DK- What have you found to be the best way of absorbing disappointment, rejection, distress, and discouragement?

JC–  I expect life to be unpredictable.  I anticipate that there will be disappointments, rejections, distress, and discouragement.  That is not of God.  I don’t take them personally. I see these things as external circumstances outside of my control.

DK- Anticipation is an essential part of life that comes with expecting the unpredictable. And being guided by God is what makes life living.

DK- If you had one piece of advice to give to a woman, what would it be?

JC– I would advise women to trust themselves. It is ok to love and be loved; you are worthy. Trust that God will never do anything to hurt you. So, live…love…and give love and peace to others. But, most importantly, yourself. Be good to you.

DK- Woman is the light of the world. 

DK- Anything you would like to add?

JC– Yes, as heartwrenching and stressful as this time is, I encourage you to take a look at the things you might have taken for granted.  Are you upset about shelter in place? Remember those that have no place to shelter.

Are you upset you can’t go to work? Remember, those that have no job.  Are you upset you have to pay bill-rent/mortgage and car?  Remember those that don’t have any of those luxuries.

Are you sick of being in the house cooped-up with your spouse?  Remember why you got married. Rediscover each other.

Are you tired of homeschooling your kids?  Remember the teacher(s) you’ve been judging throughout the year to teach your children.  Are you sick of cooking?  Remember those that have no food.

There’s always another perspective. Be blessed; you have a choice. Be grateful for it all.  Find humility in the chaos and be at peace.

DK- Good outlook on the things we all take for granted. May we see with open eyes and warm hearts.

DK– What does it mean to be an Authentic Women?

JC– Being an authentic woman means to be true to yourself.  Understanding that you will never be perfect, but you are God’s perfect imperfection.  His grace and mercy will always be your refuge.  So, don’t be afraid to fall.  But be courageous enough to get up and start  over again.  You are GREATNESS, and no one can take that away from you.

DK- I know these are hard times, and I want to “Thank You” for presenting and showing us that even through a crisis, you can stand up, spread love and support one another. You have shown us that strength in ourselves and faith in God will help us get through any life disaster, being true to ourselves with integrity and facing fear with the willingness to overcome.  Jenny, I send you blessings and prayers to you and your family. And love to the world.

~Diadel Kimberlee

Check out these websites: 

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/index.html

Retentions Strategies Unlimited: http://retentionstrategiesunltd.com/

If you would like to make a donation to Circles For Healing: www.circles4healing.org

  Showcase-Authentic Women~Jenny Campbell Aligning Within  Diadel Ortiz talks to Jenny Campbell~May 2020 As a lifelong learner and youth advocate, I use education to empower adults and children in all aspects of their lives.

[sarahburness]

The Secret To A Happy Life Is Hidden In Your Daily Habits

“The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.” ~Dodinsky

It hit me as I cruised along at full speed on a busy motorway on my way to a friend’s house.

Shaking like a leaf, I pulled myself out of the car and stood by the side of the road. I desperately gulped in the fresh air, a frantic attempt at calming myself down.

This was the ninth day in a row I’d experienced a wave of panic so intense, it felt like I was about to die. It was utterly unbearable.

I’d been worrying about all the work I had left to do on my Master’s dissertation and berating myself for taking a day off to spend time with friends when I should have been working. All of a sudden, my throat closed up, my chest tightened, and my hands shook so much that I was convinced I would lose control of the car.

This was the final straw.

I’d been waiting for a magic solution, a miraculous savior, a quick fix that would snap me out of my near-constant state of worry. I’d been waiting for the universe to wave its wand and finally grant me a normal life. It wasn’t happening.

I wasn’t willing to face up to the work I needed to do in order to stop indulging in my bleak hypothetical predictions about the future. And more importantly, I didn’t even know what the work was. But that day, I made the decision to find the key to a happy life and to start putting in some serious elbow grease.

I just couldn’t live like that any longer.

That was three years ago.

What You Practice, You Get Good At

The problem is, for a very long time, I practiced worrying. About everything.

I worried about what people thought about me. I worried about what might happen to my health. I worried about whether I would have the career I wanted.

I also practiced managing this worry, and the myriad of unpleasant emotions that accompanied it, with food, alcohol, and sex. I used substances (and other people’s bodies) to make myself feel good, to take my mind somewhere else, and to give myself a moment to relax.

But underneath, the worry was still there; these “fixes” just masked it. Instead of paying attention to what was actually going on in my head and realizing that my thoughts were creating a reality that didn’t actually exist, I practiced covering up my desperation, hoping that this fix would be the one that actually worked.

I was constantly feeding habits that gave me short-term satisfaction or relief, that I knew were ultimately destructive. And I know I’m not the only one.

Many of us spend our days acting mostly out of habit—the foods we eat for breakfast, the route we take to work, even the thoughts we entertain. These become the actions we practice, over and over again.

And what we practice, we get good at.

What Do You Practice?

Here’s a little something to reflect on: What habits are currently running your life? What thoughts do you think every single day? And are these serving you, or not?

We might not think of habits as a practice, but that’s exactly what they are. Each and every day, we’re practicing being the type of person we want to be, whether we realize it or not.

My anxiety, despite being a very real (and often terrifying) experience for me, was a habit. I was practicing being the type of person who was constantly stressed out and worried about everything. Nowadays, however, I practice being the type of person who recognizes these thoughts, knows her limits, takes care of herself, and makes a different choice each time her old pal worry comes out to play.

Think about it:

How many times a day do we complain about things not being the way we want them to be?

How many times a day do we disengage from connection with others and allow ourselves to be distracted by technology?

How many times a day do we worry about things that haven’t even happened yet?

The answer is likely: a lot.

We’re experts at this stuff. After all, the key to mastering any skill is repetition; if we repeat a specific action enough, eventually we’ll gain fluency and competency at it.

This is why the true secret to happiness lies in our daily habits rather than in the “magic fixes” we often think will make us happy.

Daily Practices for a Happier Life

So what if we became conscious of the habits that are running our lives and switched them on their head?

What if we started practicing things we actually wanted to get better at? And what if, instead of making it some huge, life-changing mission, we simply set the intention to live this way, making small steps toward it wherever we could?

Remember: What we practice, we get good at.

With this in mind, here are a few suggestions for habits we could start practicing daily in order to live a happier life:

Kindness

Compassion

Generosity

Acceptance

Non-judgment

Presence

Listening

Forgiveness

Relaxation

The way these look in our lives will be different for everyone, but the intention behind them is the same—to notice our destructive habits and to make a different choice.

Personally, I’ve found three super effective ways to start bringing new practices into our lives.

1. Notice your autopilot.

We have to recognize our habitual autopilot mode in order to do something about it.

Becoming aware of the way we live our daily life—the choices we make, the people we surround ourselves with, and the stories we tell ourselves—helps us to remember who we really are and what we really want. It also helps us make more conscious decisions about how we act so that we choose our response rather than react out of habit.

The best way to do this is to first make a list of all the times you already know you tend to slip into autopilot.

For example, you might recognize that you frequently spend your lunch break scrolling through Facebook, and then you feel bad about yourself after comparing yourself to other people. Or, you might notice you regularly worry about worst-case scenarios when you’re lying in bed at night.

Once you’re aware of what you’re doing, you can commit to making a different choice the next time you’re in that situation, practicing a habit that doesn’t serve you.

I have to be honest here. This takes time.

In the beginning, it was difficult for me to recognize when my “worry” head was on because it felt so natural to me. But once I started paying more attention to my habitual thoughts and behaviors, I found it much easier to switch the script in those moments and instead practice some deep breathing to relax myself.

Action step: Take a moment to think about the times you already know your habitual autopilot-self takes over. What could you do to in those moments to break that pattern, re-engage with the world, and make a different choice?

Remember: What we practice, we get good at.

2. Focus on your physical sensations.

Another great way to practice new habits is to focus on how they make us feel in our bodies. I like to think of this in terms of openness (expansion) and tightness (contraction). I usually feel pretty open and soft in my heart space when I practice kindness, for example, and tight and tense in my belly when I practice being rude.

Our sense of expansion or contraction in our body can act as an “mindful shortcut,” giving us an easy way to determine what might be going on in our heads.

If we focus on how we physically feel in our bodies and the sensations our habits bring up for us, we can really start to distinguish between the ones that currently serve us and the ones that definitely don’t. Since our physical sensations often directly relate to our emotional experience, it’ll also provide us with a little motivation to continue practicing the things that make us feel expanded.

The issue most of us run into here is that we mostly walk around feeling completely out of touch with our bodies. In fact, it wasn’t until I really started to dive deep into yoga that I realized my body was constantly giving me important signals—and I was totally ignoring them.

The best way to begin observing your body is to sit in stillness and just notice your bodily experience, even if you start with just a few moments a day. The more you “check in” with your body, the more you’ll be able to tune in to what it’s trying to tell you.

When I started paying attention to my body, I noticed how different thoughts affected me in completely different ways. My worry made my body feel tight, tense, and achy, for example, whereas calm thoughts made my body feel soft, relaxed, and open. This helped draw my attention to my worrisome thoughts and choose to focus on my breathing in the present moment instead of on my “faux” reality.

Action step: Start your day by asking yourself one of these questions:

“How do I want to feel today?”

“What do I want to practice today?”

“How do I want to live today?”

Then check in with yourself regularly throughout the day (setting up a reminder on your phone helps!) to observe how your body’s feeling. Pay particular attention to your heart, solar plexus, and belly areas. Is there a sense of expansion or contraction? Does this align with how you want to feel? What are you currently practicing? And does this align with what you want to practice?

Remember: What we practice, we get good at.

3. Set an intention.

We can also practice new habits by simply affirming to ourselves that it’s our intention to practice them.

Intentions are perfect because they’re designed to be a guideline rather than a goal. With goals, it’s far too easy to beat ourselves up if we don’t reach them, but with an intention, we can just start over again.

If we set an intention to be kind, or compassionate, or generous in the morning, we’re also far more likely to jump at opportunities to practice this as we move through our day. It helps us make decisions that are more aligned with the people we want to be, since our intention will still be fresh in our mind.

For example, I’ve recently been setting an intention to practice forgiveness. I realized that I’d been holding on to so much resentment, anger, and blame toward myself (and others) about my anxiety. I felt so much rage about my past—the years I’d spent constantly trying to please other people at the expense of my own needs; my first boyfriend’s extremely controlling behavior, which left me feeling utterly weak; and the pressure I’d felt growing up to be “perfect.”

So every morning I listen to a forgiveness meditation, which includes repeating to myself, “I see and feel the pain you’ve caused me, and it’s my intention to forgive you.” Then, as I’m about to go into my day, I remind myself that it’s my intention to continue to practice forgiveness.

Have I forgiven everyone (or myself) yet? No. But that’s beside the point.

The point is that every single day, I’m practicing.

Action step: Decide on at least one new habit you’d like to start practicing. How can you set this intention for yourself each day? How can you remind yourself of this intention when you go off track?

Remember: What we practice, we get good at.

About Becki Sams

Becki Sams is a freelance writer, blogger, and personal development nerd. As a trained mindfulness meditation teacher and hardcore yogi, she’s passionate about anything that helps us all live more blissful lives, look after one another, and nurture this planet we call home. Subscribe to her email list for your free stress melt meditation and Unplug, Unwind & Recharge e-book.

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