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the-witty-pen-name · 6 months

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Love is Blind Part 2

Eddie Munson x PlusSize!F!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut in later parts, reader has low self-esteem and struggles with self love/acceptance, anxiety/trauma related to bullying, tooth rot worthy fluff, Eddie being a major flirt, cursing, mentions of substance use

Summary: In a last ditch effort to evade the normal disappointments of dating, a group of misfits desperate to have someone see who they are on the inside volunteer for the most recent brain chemistry study at Hawkins Lab.

Read Part One!

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, please let me know if you enjoyed! If ! forgot anything to include as a warning please let me know. Also, if you would like to be added to the taglist for this fic, just let me know!

Day Three:

Eddie is sitting on the couch upside down, his legs hanging over the backrest and his head dangling over the seat. He stares up at the makeshift ceiling above as he pretends to play the drums on his stomach. The overhead light is starting to make his eyes slightly water but he’s too comfortable to move.

You’ve told him your name and he’s been almost obnoxious with how much he’s using it in your conversation. He’s using any excuse to work it into the front or back of a lot of his sentences. It doesn’t bother you like you thought it would, and you actually love hearing him call you by your name. It helps create a sense of intimacy where you both obviously can’t have it. It makes you feel more real to him, makes you feel closer to him, reminding him that if he sticks this out he could actually see you, maybe even touch you…

“Do you worry about what’s going to happen when this thing ends?” you ask.

“I’m looking forward to it,” he replies, moving so he is sitting upright. You sound concerned, your voice sounding smaller. “I don’t want to talk through a wall anymore, I want to talk like actually in person- not like some lab rats.”

“Do you think about what I look like?” you ask cautiously, and Eddie shakes his head as he stands up to walk directly up against the wall.

“Of course, I’d love to see you,” Eddie explains, “I haven’t actually thought so much about what you look like, I just want to see you. You know? We’ve talked for what- uh, 7 or 8 hours at this point? Which honestly- insanely small amount of time to get to know someone. But like think about it- average date is what? 2 hours, sometimes less. We’ve been on like 4 “normal length” dates in 3 days. And usually you know you like someone by then at least. And I know I like you, and I love talking to you- without seeing me you have made me feel seen. God, that was so fucking cheesy.”

You feel the corners of your ears well with tears- a little overwhelmed from the affirmations and attention you are not used to receiving. You realize that you never once doubted you’d not like how Eddie looks, nor do you even care either. You don’t understand why your brain won’t let you accept the same could be true for the way Eddie thinks about you.

“I feel the same way about you,” you respond, and Eddie pumps his fist in victory. “I’ve had so much I’ve needed to work through. I mean, still working through. I have a lot of trouble accepting the fact that someone could actually like me as I am right now. I’ve always had the thoughts of well, I need to change myself and once I’m more like this, then I’ll be attractive or whatever. But, when I’m here, talking with you, I’m not worried about it anymore. But I’m still worried about what it's going to look like when this whole ordeal is over and you actually see me, and I can’t hide behind the wall anymore. But here, when we’re talking, I feel like I can be completely myself with you and I’m scared of losing that. Cause I also really like you.”

“I can promise you there is nothing about you that would make me not interested,” he reaffirms. “I mean, I already know that you’re pretty- inside and out so it isn’t going to change anything. Except… I’m hoping you’d let me kiss you if you aren’t completely repulsed by me that is. Ugh, I’m sorry. I sound like a pathetic 14 year old boy. But, you know what I mean. Fuck, this is torturous.”

Eddie beams when he hears your little laugh from the other side of the wall again. He wants to know if there’s anyway he can get out of the experiment early. He needs to touch you, pull you into him. He wants to hug you, and have you here sitting next to him- flush up against his side. He’s craving the small pieces of physical intimacy that would just satisfy this restlessness he’s feeling throughout his whole body. It’s like he’s experiencing withdrawals but for something he’s never even been allowed to taste. He wants to shower you with affection the second you let him.

“So, what are you hoping for at the end of this?” You ask, snapping yourself out of your daze. In the little notebook they provided to everyone, you’ve caught yourself writing Eddie in different styles with little hearts. You snap the book closed, like you're worried he’s gonna see it or something. You roll your eyes at yourself, leaning back on the couch and putting one of the pillows up to your face, embarrassed. You’re so past the point of no return.

He takes a deep breath, contemplating his answer. Wanting to be honest, but not so honest that he scares you away by moving too fast. Case closed: he just wants to get your number and ask you on real dates. There’s also wildly inappropriate things swirling around in his head, as he reminds himself of what he did last night. But, he’s not ready to admit that fantasy to you just yet.

“It depends on how you’ll feel most comfortable,” he settled on. “But I’d love to take you on an actual date. Like a real one, not this weird shit anymore. We can sit and talk face to face, so I can stare at you and you can yell at me to cut it out. I want to make you feel special and attractive because you are and you deserve to be entirely spoiled and pampered. However that looks for you, I’m down. I just want to be near you. I’ll go at your pace.”

You were never the type to make the first move, ever. Which is also why you’re here in the first place. You have never had the courage to vocalize any sort of desire to a man like you have with Eddie. It’s been really thrilling, the way he’s been able to help you open up. You feel like you can share your thoughts on what you want physically and he won’t judge you or shame you. You decide to be blunt.

“If it’s actually true, that you’re physically attracted to me when you see me for the first time,” you say, unable to control the way your whole body gets covered in goosebumps at the thought. “I don’t want you to hold back. Just whatever feels right to you in that moment, do it. Kiss me, touch me, I’m down for everything.”

“Everything?”

“I want everything.”

“Shit, sweetheart, you can’t just say that,” Eddie responds, sounding almost pained. He chuckles, “you’re a tease, you know that?”

“I’m just being honest,” you respond, and Eddie can hear how you’re being coy. He loves it, he’s happy to hear you coming out of your shell. He’s excited to finally hear about this side of you. You’re slowly but surely peeling back your layers for him.

“I want you to be more honest,” he flirts. “But Christ, it’s going to be a long week.”

There were four more days to go before the big reveal. If any of the participants felt they had a connection to another- or fell in love, they’d submit their picks to the technicians and then the technicians would set-up the next phase of the experiment. Unfortunately, if this does happen, the first time you actually get to see Eddie, it’ll still be under surveillance, most likely monitoring heart rate and whatever else they’re looking for. It will feel clinical, which is so not ideal, but once it’s over- you and Eddie could walk out together and do whatever, go wherever. If he still is interested.

“So, um, what type of girls do you usually go for?” you ask, a slight twinge of insecurity working its way back to the front of your mind.

“Um,” Eddie replies, letting out an exhale, “Alive.” He smiles when he hears a laugh from the other side of the wall.

“No seriously,” you urge. “I’m curious.”

“I mean- I really don’t have a type,” he states honestly. “I’d like it if she's nice to me, but that’s not even a deal breaker,” he jokes.

“You like girls being a little mean to you?” You flirt, raising an eyebrow playfully.

“I don’t think I’d hate it,” he grins. “Um, but seriously? I guess I want someone who likes some of the same stuff as me- or at least will put up with me talking about it. I want someone who I feel comfortable around and I’m not afraid to be myself.”

“What about like- appearance wise?” you ask tentatively.

“This feels like a question we shouldn’t be asking,” he taunts. You feel your face get hot. “I feel like if I tell you the truth you won’t believe me,” he answers.

“Why’s that?” you ask, confused.

“It feels like you're expecting me to say skinny, blonde and leggy or something, and if I say anything else you’re going to just think I’m lying,” he muses. Your eyes widen at how well he’s able to read you, and it’s mildly infuriating.

“I think someone or maybe the world or whatever,” he continues, “has convinced you that you aren’t attractive and I really, truly think that isn’t the case at all. And baiting me to try to confirm that isn’t going to work because I can tell it’s a defense mechanism cause you’re afraid.”

“Well darling,” he smirks, stepping as close as possible to the wall so you hear him clearly, “I’m not gonna let you get away with it. Because, talking to you is convincing me with each passing hour that I’m cooped up in this damn box that this experiment might actually work. I have not been able to think about anything else but getting back to talk to you when I’m not here. You’re desirable, I want you and you’re just gonna have to wrap your pretty little head around that.”

Buzz

PART THREE

Taglist:

@woahnotmecryingoverafanfiction @ali-r3n @cherrycolas-things @hellfirebabe666 @trixyvixx @stardancerluv @i--wont-run-this-time

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luvtak · 1 year

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perfect mix, lhc

❀ pairing bf!haechan x reader

❀ genre/tw pure fluff, oc and haechan are grossly in love, talk about having babies, but no pronouns are mentioned,

❀ w/c 1041

❀ a/n this is the first time ive been brave enough to post my actual writing lol so pls be kind! pls ignore any run on sentences lol<3 also i wrote this mainly for myself hahaha i just love him ☹️

“Do you think we’ll be together forever?”

The question is posed like it’s no big deal—like he could answer anything, and it wouldn’t matter, but Haechan knows you. He knows this is important. He knows just like when you tell him all you’re craving is cereal that your stomach hurts, or when you play Howl’s Moving Castle for the third time in a week that something is wrong. This is important and could greatly change how the night goes. While you’re laying in bed now with tiny smiles, one wrong answer could send you into another Studio Ghibli binge—the last one lasted two weeks where all you watched was Ponyo and Princess Mononoke and wouldn’t let him change it.

“Well, why wouldn’t we be?” He wants to play this right, doesn’t want to be too serious that you get overwhelmed, but he needs you to know he’s being honest. He’s loved you since he saw you. Some people think that’s a lie or an exaggeration, yet it’s true. Ever since he walked into that café and saw you reading in the corner, so excited about the plot of the story, he’s been whipped. He couldn’t believe it when you smiled at him too, or when you agreed to get coffee together next time. His feelings for you are so big that he can’t see them ever going away, and maybe that’s how everyone in love feels. Maybe people say this every day and then suddenly they don’t even know the person anymore, but Haechan feels like you’re the exception; he loves you too much for you not to be. So, when he says, “I mean I fall in love with you more and more everyday…” He means it, he wakes up every morning finding new reasons to fall in love with you, new experiences that initiate the whole sequence over again, so that he’s right where he started.

“Hyuck! I’m being serious!” Your smile is huge, spread across your whole face mirroring his. He likes you best this way, fully and wholly you. All your makeup has been washed away and your hair’s falling around you on the pillow. You’re in his clothes, a big T-shirt and his sweatpants acting as makeshift pajamas, and your body is pressed right against his. The bed is just too small not to be, so every inch of your skin is touching his—chest to chest, with your legs in between his. And God, you’re smile, he would embarrass himself all day just to see it—and trust, he really tries—he loves your smile just as much as you love his, which is a lot. “Do you really think we’ll be together forever, like we’ll get married and have babies and everything?”

“Course I do, I already got it all planned out, we just have to wait until everything calms down.” You know he means it; it’s written all over his face: all the plans he has for the two of you. He’s always been so sweet, never letting you think anything less of yourself than he does, never letting you be confused about his feelings or his intentions—he told you he loved you as soon as he knew you felt the same and has never let you question it. But it’s hard not to be insecure, not to be at odds with the truth. He’ s so perfect, and so dear to so many people, and it’s difficult to see his love for you over everyone’s love for him, but he always knows exactly how to help. “I mean we’ll have lots of babies, and they all look like you, so pretty.” He has a dumb smile on his face, so fond and happy to be here with you.

The little room is lit up from the candles next to you and its so hot underneath the blanket, but you can’t seem to move. The moment is too lovely, too giddy with his plans for the future. The two of you with a little family. He says all your children will look like you, but you wish they’ll be him—everything from his sparkly eyes to his heart-shaped lips; Perfect from their heads to their toes, and maybe they’ll be as silly and wonderful too, so you tell him. “They should be all you, love, so sweet and so funny, like little suns running around giving everyone a hard time.” His laugh breaks out at this, so smooth, so musical. Secretly you wish they’ll have this too: his easy humor. For you, it’s hard not to be serious, to let things be as they are and find joy in the little things. But Haechan is a wizard at this, letting go of control in hopes of more fun and better times. If you have children, you hope they gain this most of all.

��I don’t know if anyone else would like that, honey, I think they’d be annoyed.” The scoff you release at this is comical, but you can’t believe anyone would dislike him. Sure, he can be mischievous and his playfulness can lead to hurt feelings, but he always kisses it better. He never gives out anything he doesn’t think you’ll be able to take. At his core, he’s a kind boy, just wanting people to laugh with him.

“At you?! Who could be annoyed at you? You’re my favorite person in the whole world.” He knows you mean it. Anyone with eyes could see you meant it. And how could you not when you get to be loved by the warmest boy, so sincere in everything he does.

“You’re my favorite person too, baby, so maybe they’ll be the perfect mix of both—everything you love about me, and everything I love about you.” And how nice does that sound, little things walking around with so much love in them. Never going a day without hearing laughter or joy or the most earnest I love yous. Never second guessing their place in the world or how powerful they can be. It’ll be loud and chaotic, but lovely, and if they’re anything like him, they will be so loved. They’ll be him and they’ll be you, a perfect mix.

#i rlly hope this is good lol #haechan x reader #haechan fluff #donghyuck x reader #haechan #lee donghyuck #nct fluff #nct dream #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #haechan x y/n #hyuck fluff #✧ drabble

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kamiranna77 · 1 year

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~ Part 2. ~

I studied Latin over the weekend as best as I could to grasp and understand the topic that had already been discussed on Friday. I sat for three hours and still couldn't remember anything...

On Sunday evening, before packing my backpack, I decided to repeat the topic from my notebook for the last time, but finally I gave up. Sad, I hid the notebook with the silent hope that everything would be fine.

On Monday morning Physics with Professor Stark was followed by two hours of Latin - fortunately classes in the same room. Equally with the bell, the teacher came and then sat down in his chair and looked at us with a fake smile:

„Good morning, class. I hope that Monday will be very successful for you, because I'm going to ask you questions.”

I swallowed and prayed silently that the teacher wouldn't take me to answer that day, but he obviously had other plans. After checking the list, he got up, and according to what he announced during the familiarization lesson, he started walking around the whole class with his open notebook, holding a pen, then said individual sentences and pointed to the person to finish the sentence.

”Ab alio exspectes, alteri quod...”

and pointed to Maxim, the class nerd, who replied with pride in his voice:

”...feceris”, Sir.

The Professor flipped through his notebook and wrote a plus next to his name, then started asking again.

”Actus hominis non dignitas...”

He looked around the classroom and suddenly pointed at... me.

I looked at him clearly confused.

„I don't know, Professor...” I replied.

Maxim shot his hand high in the air until he almost hit his neighbor from the bench. The Professor gave him the opportunity to answer.

”...iudicentur”, Sir.

„Way to go. Two correct answers, hence an B.”

Instinctively, I bit my bottom lip slightly...

I knew it would take a miracle for me to ever get a very good grade.

Finally, the teacher looked up at me again. I felt the coldness of his green eyes on me.

„My dear, you're getting one more chance. Please finish ”Admoneri bonus...” ?”

I hung my head then said:

„I'm sorry, but I don't know that either, Professor...”

The Professor sighed heavily and pointed to Alexei, who was sitting behind me, and without hesitating he finished right away:

”...gaudet”, Sir.

He flipped through the notebook until he stopped at my name:

„Remind me, my dear, what does two wrong answers mean for me?” He raised one eyebrow significantly.

„Fail grade, Professor?” I asked uncertainly.

„Naturally. That's the grade you get today.”

He glanced at Alexei, to whom he had given the last sentence, then wrote him an B. I felt like crying...

After all, these two lessons passed very quickly... Fortunately...

On Wednesday the same... There was also a questioning... Of course, out of spite, I got a second F and I get the impression that Professor Laufeyson doesn't like me because he asks me difficult questions on purpose to humiliate me.

There was a brand new topic on Friday, so there was no questioning, but I still don't know anything, and the topics were getting harder and harder. I was still afraid and couldn't admit that I needed help... The inner shame was overwhelming me. I felt stupid compared to my class. The Professor announced that on Monday he would give us a small test in one of the two lessons.

"Great..." I thought to myself. "If I need one more thing to prove that I'm extremely dull..."

Finally, at 3:20 pm, the bell rang and I could... No, I couldn't enjoy the weekend! I came home and studied damn Latin all weekend! I cried because I didn't understand anything...

=== === IMPORTANT === ===

Used Latin sentences and their meanings:

• ”Ab alio exspectes, alteri quod feceris” (”Expect from the other what you do to the other”)

• ”Actus hominis non dignitas iudicentur” („Let man's deeds be judged, not his dignity”)

• ”Admoneri bonus gaudet” („A good man gladly accepts reproof”)

#loki laufeyson #loki smut #loki x y/n #loki fanfic #loki x reader #loki x teen!reader #loki x female reader #loki x female reader smut #loki dom

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chainwards · 1 year

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— i was a 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐑 too, longer than you can 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚. a 𝑷𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑶𝑴... chained to the shadow isles. ( ahhh ! no one escapes ! i forgot how squishy they are. ) 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖, 𝑻𝑶 𝑫𝑶 𝑨𝑺 𝑰 𝑾𝑰𝑺𝑯. — 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐃. — 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒. — 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

#𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 — headcanon based 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐇, 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑰𝑵 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑫𝑬𝑵 of riot game's LEAGUE OF LEGENDS franchise. private && selective // mutuals only. at times canon divergent. NSFW MATERIAL IS HEAVILY PRESENT. those under 21 do not interact ! sentenced by GOOSE. 29. she/they. prompts always open to mutuals!

𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 — @ahries

I. this blog is private and selective, as well as mutuals only. i curate my own space and like to keep my dash semi-orderly. if i follow you, it means i'd like to interact. in the same vein - this blog is multiverse, multiship, au, crossover, oc, and duplicate friendly. i tend to not do exclusives, but i will do mains, all of which will be listed here.

II. on the subject of activity - mine can be sporadic at times, with rp being a hobby and multiple blogs on top of this one. if i don't like a post you've tagged me in　 within around two days time, please feel free to send me a poke about it. i also kindly request when sending in ask memes, send no more than two - otherwise i tend to get overwhelmed.

i am a wordy writer for serious threads, usually about 3 + paragraphs in length. i do also format my posts - triple spaced, small font, occasionally with colors. i neither expect formatting nor entirely matched length in replies.

III. given the nature of thresh's character and his lore, romantic shipping is not the primary focus of this blog, and may not be on the table at all. additionally, the nature of those ships will likely be toxic in some way shape or form.

if you are still, for some reason, interested in attempting shipping with thresh - i seek chemistry first and foremost, and a bit of repertoire with the mun as well. that being said - feel free to message me about it!

IV. it should be obvious that this blog will be dark and heavy on the nsfw side. nsfw includes, but is not limited to: torture, smut, violence, gore, psychological horror, trauma, drug usage, etc. i do not shy away from darker thematics but all triggering content will be tagged and placed under a read more.

as such, i ask that if you are under the age of 21 that you do not follow/interact with me. if you follow me and your blog does not list your age, or lists you as under 21, i will likely soft block you. this is for my own comfort. no exceptions. i also will not be following blogs that are exclusively minor muses. i do not want to write thresh interacting with children.

other standard dni's apply. do not interact if you, as a mun, are into pro-shipping, incest, noncon, underage, or are transphobic, homophobic, biphobic, ableist - etc. additionally, dni if you are friends with frosty ( windwandered, etc). callouts are listed here, and here.

V. 　goose　 / 29 / she + they / cst. i play on both na and oceanic but i'm bad no matter what my ping is. mutuals feel free to add me!

IMPORTANT!!! PLEASE READ ME. i believe for a muse like thresh consent is exceptionally important from both my partners, and myself. there are things i simply will not write. if you are wanting to participate in some sort of darker thread with thresh, i insist we plot beforehand. this doesn't apply to simple meetings or other interactions, but any thread that features thresh actively committing violent torture or in which your muse is harmed, i would like discussed before getting there for my own peace of mind, and yours!

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shaykesqueer · 6 months

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YAYYY I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY BREAKFASTTTT

I wanna be nosey and ask:

You had an essay of my OCs,I shall now annoy you with too many questions<3

Take this as payment<3

4. What is your favorite book?

Can I choose a book series? It’s the Wheel of Time. Shocker, I know :’) I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH!

6. AND 7. 5 Male celebrity crushes and 5 Female celebrity crushes

When you say celebrity, you mean like… real people? Does that mean I can’t choose Sweetums and the Crypt Keeper??? I’m putting these two questions together because I’m trying to think but this is difficult! Tobias, OBVIOUSLY, but also I keep thinking Bella Ramsey and they’re nonbinary 😭 OH Jennifer Tilly for sure. Can I just.. Nearly the entire cast of Starkid? Jon, Angela, Kim, Curt, Joey, Lauren? I don’t find a lot of celebrities attractive until they play a certain role, yknow? I never found Brad Pitt attractive until I saw him in Inglorious Basterds and he killed Nazis? Or Nicholas Cage, but then he was Dracula? Hell I’d even say I find Daniel Craig attractive after Knives Out! I like my crushes a little fruity, what can I say? And does a crush just mean you find someone attractive? In which case, the list must be so long! Anyway, rant. Over. Difficult question, I love everyone. Oh and Viggo Mortensen. Because of LOTR and Crimes of the Future.

9. What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

Probably that I got top surgery. I could ramble about all the little things that I’m proud of myself for doing that probably don’t seem like much, like feeling generally happy day to day or being able to decide what to have for lunch or knowing my limits and learning how to say no, but that seems small in comparison!

10. What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

See this one is difficult because I feel like any “weird” fact about me is very believable? I don’t like watching people kiss. I think it’s gross.

12. Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

Knotts Scary Farm at Halloween.

14. What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

I’m on instagram a lot! I don’t really post on there a bunch anymore because it’s a black hole for artists, but I still like scrolling! And Pinterest as well! I’m probably on Discord a lot more these days too!

15. Describe yourself in one sentence.

Adorable but deceptively creepy, like a Cabbage Patch Kid that came to life and grew up.

16. What do you think makes you attractive?

I have the softest love handles, I make the dumbest jokes, and I kiss real good.

20. What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

All pigeons are domesticated. It’s not useless though, it means you could have pigeon friends. That’s my go to, but another one is the average number of skeletons per person on earth is more than one.

22. What is your most prized possession?

I really want to say it’s some bit of art I’ve made but no, it’s my teddy. It’s Pinky.

29. Favorite song lyrics right now?

“This dear abomination of a child has many names

Lindworm, king of serpents

Girdle of the realm

This guy has nothing left to prove with size that overwhelms”

From Powersnake by Brothers of Metal

33. What’s a pet peeve you have?

I hate it when people drink straight milk. It’s nasty. And before you say anything, I don’t just mean dairy, I mean any kind of milk.

Let's hope I got all the right questions this time!!

Thank you for the Ray sugar plum! <3 <3

#creme egg tag #buddy tag #personal shay stuff #asks #ask game #shay asks #callmeghoulshit

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nightowlfandom · 3 years

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Kanato Sakamaki- I’m Sadistic For You

FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTS DIABOLIK LOVERS CONTENT AAAAHHH THANK YOU BESTIE! I GOT YOUR OTHER ONE AND I’M DOING IT TOO!

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

So ANON ASKS

For Kanato from DL ( I haven’t seen much done for him and it makes me sad because he’s a favorite ). (: I could Lowkey do some more if you’re not super bogged down I had another idea BUT I ALREADY SUBMITED ANOTHER BEFORE THIS SO IM NOT GONNA OVERWHELM YOU LOL but- anyway Fee free to be as nsfw with my prompts (if you do them) as you want. I dont have any triggers so- writing them super accurate and sadistic won’t bother me :3

Bruh....Jesus is my helmet...but NOT TODAY let’s fucking go! Okay readers, you heard, they aint got no triggers. So if you do...move it along.

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

Also in this you and Yui are BFFs because she isn’t some cold hearted bitch (homegirl trips over oxygen, plus I love her lol)

I was legit about to have him spit in your mouth....I’m so shameful...maybe next time.

Leggo!

I’m turning into a Yandere account and I am totally okay with that.

...

“You know living here isn’t that bad.” you mused to Yui. “When no one is talking.”

Your friend laughed as she cut up some carrots. Yui turned to look at you as she prepare to peel some potatoes. “So living here is terrible every day other than right now?” she replied.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She wasn’t wrong.

You and Yui were making dinner for the house. After a ambush that landed everyone injured except you and her (thankfully). You had offered to make soup and stew for everyone. They were all in their respective rooms healing while you had prepared everything.

“They really fought hard today, I thought Kanato was about to rip that vampires jaw off. He’s really protective of you, Y/N.” she winked. “I think he likes you more than he lets on.”

Kanato and you had a very strange relationship. He hated you, but he didn’t HATE you. No one could lay a finger on you, no one could even look at you, even if he said he didn’t care. Reiji tried to and Kanato almost murdered him.

“He then told me that Teddy said I was ugly.” you reminded her flatly. “Yeah he so cares.” you snorted.

“Maybe he has trouble telling you his feelings”

“I wish everyone was as optimistic as you.” you shook your head. “Looks like the soup is finished.”

“I’m just saying Y/N, just think about it.”

...

You only had one bowl of soup left to deliver, to Kanato’s room. You grumbled as you stood outside the door.

“Kanato? It’s me.” you knocked on the door. “I’m coming in okay?”

Before you could wait for an answer you opened the door and walked in with the cart.

Kanato was laying on his bed when you entered, groaning in what you assumed was boredom.

“Teddy, tell Y/N that I don’t want whatever she made.” Kanato turned away from you. The scars he had suffered on his back said it all. All for you...

Your recalled the terror in your voice as you had screamed for help as the rogue vampire wrapped his claws around your leg. Kanato’s name was the first to escape your lips as you had tried to crawl away to Yui. You remembered reaching out to Kanato with your strongest hand, begging him to save you.

The look in his eyes was feral as he screamed your name too, grabbing you hand and pulling you to him. You were sobbing into his chest, clutching onto him for dear life for a good ten seconds before Yui replaced him, hugging you tightly in her small arms too. Before you knew it, the rogue’s head had been thrown through a window...

...

“Y/N, Look at me! You’re safe now...you’re safe with me...”

...

“Teddy, could you please tell Kanato that while his pouting is very adorable, it won’t get him out of this?”

“Don’t call me cute! You can’t do that.” Kanato glared at you through hooded eyes. “If I wasn’t so weak I’d-”

“Well let me take care of you.” you cut him off, taking the bowl to him. “For me?”

Kanato paused, his glare softening.

“You must be in love with me if you’re so insistent on me getting better.” he grumbled, sitting up. “Y/N is in love with me Teddy!”

“Kanato.” you felt your face heat up violently. “Don’t say things like that.” you groaned.

“It’s blushing teddy, how cute!”

Kanato’s use of the word ‘it’ wasn’t new to you. In fact when he wasn’t calling you names, chasing you around with forks pretending to stab you, or worse, it was denoting you to objects.

“H-hey! I am not blushing!” you pouted. “My face just looks that way.” you lied. “S-shut up.” you grumbled.

“And what if I don’t feel like it?” he challenged, knowing you wouldn’t say a word back. You were kind of like Yui. You wouldn’t dare challenge any of the Sakamaki brothers. It was a death sentence in every sense of the word.

“Kanato, I just want you to feel better.” you looked down at your feet.

“There’s one thing you can do.” Kanato used his strength to stand to his feet. Despite his looks, he was tall, and under that cute exterior was a mean and feral beast. He staggered over to you, a sick smile on his face. That couldn’t be good, not by a long shot.

“And what exactly would that be?” you asked. You couldn’t look at him. You didn’t wanna know what he was planning. You were positive that it wasn’t gonna end well either.

“Get on your knees.”

“My knees?” you repeated. “Why do you want me to-”

“Now Y/N.” he spoke over you. You felt his hand on your shoulder. “I don’t like repeating myself.” his nails dug into your skin, causing your knees to wobble under the pain. “On. Your. Knees!”

Your feet gave out, practically sending you crashing down to the floor. You looked like a dog, on your hands and knees. You appeared weak and pathetic.

You found it in yourself to look up at Kanato. Teddy was perched on the bed, ‘watching’ you two. You felt his fingertips creep under your chin.

“Aww...” he smiled. “You’re like a little...What’s the word I’m looking for...PET!. It’s cute.” He caressed the side of your face. “Too bad I kill all my pets...they can’t handle me...can you handle me, Pet?”

“Yes, Kanato.” you found yourself saying. You felt like you didn’t have a choice...

and you loved every second of it.

“Bullying you has made me regain my strength! Isn’t this wonderful?” he wrapped one of his hands around your neck. “You’re so fun to torment” he laughed.

“K-kanato.” you coughed.

“Is it hard to breath. Y/N?” he asked sinisterly, that crazed smile gracing his lips. His words were terrifying although his actions said otherwise. He loosened his grip on your throat, allowing air to flow more freely. It was those small things that made you think he didn’t hate you as much as he loved to preach.

“Y/N...when that vampire came...I thought I was gonna lose you for good this time” he said sadly, allowing his arm to return to his side. “I thought I had-...that you were gonna die.”

“You saved me though.” you replied. Kanato knelt down to your level, still slightly above you.

“Yeah...because if anyone is gonna break you, it’s gonna be me.”

“I care about you a lot, Kanato.” you finally said it. “I like you too much.” you exposed yourself. “I want you stay by your side.” you said pathetically. “Even if you hate me.”

Before you could say another word, Kanato claimed your lips in a kiss. He held the sides of your face in his hands. It was the first time he had ever kissed you. He hummed thoughtfully, pushing you down to the floor so you were laying on your back. He crawled over you, not breaking the kiss.

“K-kanato.” you whimpered.

“You need to be taught a lesson. If your gonna be my girlfri- I mean pet, you’ll have to learn.” he kissed down your neck.

Suddenly, Kanato ripped the seam of your jeans all the way up your left leg, leaving it completely exposed to the air.

“Oh look, your clothes are messed up, guess we’ll have to take them off.” he smirked. In another swift motion, your pants were torn to shreds. The fabric fell in a circle around you both.

“Teddy look! Y/N is wearing such cute panties.” he cackled maniacally. “Her naughty place is leaking.”

You trembled, waiting for him to do whatever it was he was planning.

“I heard blood tastes better when it’s from your naughty place.” he ran his tongue along the top row of his teeth. “Y/N” he moaned, running his index finger along your clothed heat. “You smelled so much better here...I just want to- ungh.”

He suddenly drove his fangs into your right thigh. You gasped, arching your back. He violently grabbed your legs, holding them down. His tongue lashed against your freshly made wound.

You could hear him whimpering, cursing under his breath.

Kanato would deny it with his life, but everything about you was like a drug to you. Tasting your blood was even sweeter than every dessert he’s ever tasted. Feeling you whimper and plea for him did things to him that would make a sailor blush.

Forget Yui, forget his brothers, forget it all.

“Fuh-” Kanato couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t stop himself from ripping off your panties and driving his tongue into your most sensitive parts. Hearing you moan for him, cry for him.

The rumors were right, vampires were godly lovers. It was like Kanato knew what you wanted and where. He lashed his tongue against your heat, grabbing your legs.

“Wrap your legs around my head,” he demanded. “Not like it’s gonna kill me.” he laughed manically. “

Knock knock

“Y/N, are you in there?” Yui’s small voice caused you to panic a little. As you tried to get up, Kanato pushed you right back down, growling into your pussy,

“FUCK!” you whined, making it very obvious what you two were up to. “Kanato, I can’t-”

“Then don’t.” he grunted, not ceasing his movements. “Cum, cum for me.”

“K-KAANAAA!” you cried as you came. You thrashed and writhed under his touch, but he didn’t stop. His tongue never stopped moving. “fuh- fuck! Kanato, t-too much!”

“I said cum for me, I didn’t say I’d stop.” he thrust his fingers into you to add insult to injury. “You’re so fun to fuck with!” he spat.

“Kanato!” you sobbed. You couldn’t stop moving, you couldn’t stop thrashing. Th epleasure had gotten to you so much, you were drooling.

He finally withdrew his mouth from you, smiling evilly at the mess he left.

Kanato had grabbed one of his ties that had left on the floor and bound your wrists together.

“You look so inviting tied up for me...” he shuddered as he bit his lip. He licked his fingers clean of your blood and juices. “Good thing the night is young...because I’m not done with you.”

...

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years

Text

Brilliant Plan [Anthony Bridgerton x Reader]

Title: Brilliant plan Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Female!Reader Word count: 3.3k Published: 10 February, 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Notes: My first ever Bridgerton fic, please don’t be too hard on me :) Summary: Even as a new debutante you have your eyes on the eldest Bridgerton, Anthony and it seems he is just as interested in you. That is until he halts your relationship in the courting period, leaving you confused.

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You stood in front of the enormous, wooden doors leading you to the unknown. As one of the new debutantes of the season, you felt slightly pressured and nervous. It’s been an endless waiting game, or so it felt like one, but now that you stood in front of the entrance of your future, every little problem you ever had felt mediocre.

Taking a couple of deep breaths seemed to calm your nerves, but as soon as your mother placed her hand on your shoulder, all your worries came back at once. The event has been one that you have been waiting for eagerly, you were happy to be a part of such an elite society, but no one prepared you for the mental battle you were going to be having deep inside you.

“Shall we wait and take a seat, dear?” your mother interrupted your chaotic thoughts, gesturing towards a golden bench outside of the ballroom. A voice within you screamed for those additional seconds away from your grand entrance, but instead you shook your head.

“No, mama, let’s head inside,” a small, phoney smile spread across your face. Your mother nodded in agreement and gently nudged your back as if wanting to help you to take the first step.

As the gigantic doors opened, your gaze fell on the sea of people dancing in the middle of the room, each wearing their finest attires of the most expensive materials with the shiniest jewelleries. You felt slightly out of place even though you were just as stunning as anyone in the room.

First step, second step, it took a couple of them to finally make yourself present and when you finally felt more comfortable walking into the room, you felt as if hundreds of eyes watched every step of yours, making you feel self-conscious once again. It was scary to feel all those eager eyes on you, but after an inner monologue, you finally lifted your head high, straightened your back and forced a small smile across your face.

As you looked around you recognised quite a few people, for instance the Bridgerton sisters, Daphne and Eloise who were although younger than you, had found a dear friend in you, someone they could turn to if needed. Gazing around the room you found the Featherington sisters who you only knew through the annual dinners your family organised.

You were older than the usual debutantes as your mother wanted you to be highly educated before marrying you off. Although you couldn’t wait to be a part of these high society gatherings, you understood that your mother didn’t want you to marry just anyone.

Finally, the curious gazes felt less intimidating and as Daphne walked up to you, you greeted each other with a smile. “I thought you’d never join us,” she joked with you, but you just shook your head with the least lady-like laughter.

“I couldn’t have deprived you from my company. I’m delightful,” you chuckled at your own joke. Your mother placed her hand on your shoulder excusing herself as she headed off to the opposite direction.

“Are you excited?” Daphne asked with an innocent, but enthusiastic smile painted across her face.

“I have been waiting for it for quite a while. Of course, I’m excited,” you replied giggling.

“Shall we find you a husband then?” she chuckled joyfully. You cleared your throat, feeling slightly awkward, but Daphne wasn’t silly nor was she naïve. She immediately understood that her question made you feel slightly uncomfortable. “Do you not want to?”

“Daph, I really wanted to be a part of these gorgeous balls and chatting away with people throughout the evening, however I can’t picture myself getting married just yet,” you offered her a pleading look, hoping she would understand you.

Of course, it was a dream of yours to finally start attending these balls, but there was a reason or two for your hesitancy. You didn’t feel ready to marry anyone, especially not if you didn’t love your significant other, on the other hand, you already had your eyes on someone. Someone who was closer to Daphne than she could ever imagine.

“Sister, I have been looking for you,” his voice made you shiver, tiny goosebumps revealing themselves on the surface of your skin. His slightly messy brown hair and curious brown eyes wandered up and down on you, studying every inch of your body shamelessly as he joined beside Daphne, making you feel flustered under his intense gaze. “I don’t think we have met before,” he spoke to you finally, for the first time ever, reaching for your hand to leave a soft kiss on your silky gloves as you formally introduce yourself. “What a beautiful name,” he smiled confidently, a trait that seemed to radiate through his whole presence, almost knocking you over.

“Interestingly we have met before,” you added, trying to avert the subject, before you felt overwhelmed by a simple compliment to your name, which your parents decided on and basically had nothing to do with you. “But then you always seem busy when I visit,” the confusion across his face was evident, trying to organise the little pieces of the puzzle he seemed to be missing.

“My apologise, I don’t seem to remember and I’m sure I would have remembered such a pretty sight” he shook his head with a smile that sent your heart into overdrive. His words made you feel 20 pounds lighter, but instead of letting the compliment get to you, offering him a small smile, you continued the conversation confidently.

“Don’t you worry about it.I usually only catch a glimpse of you as I pass through the hall,” you lied. In reality you caught yourself not once staring at the man as he worked in his office and your steps halted just in the right spot to take a moment to admire his handsome features.

“I’m certainly glad to have officially met you,” he replied with a proud smirk across his face, leaving you gazing at him for a moment longer than it was deemed appropriate. The moment was quickly interrupted by Daphne who seemed to feel slightly out of place, but before she could have said anything, Benedict joined your circle, quickly dragging Anthony away who endlessly apologised, before following his brother.

“Hmm,” you heard Daphne, slightly lost in her thoughts. “And so, she said no to marriage,” she stated with a wicked smile.

“Whatever do you mean?” you asked furrowing in confusion.

“I might be younger, but I’m not an idiot. I saw the way you looked at my dear brother,” she watched you eagerly with a sceptical gaze.

“I don’t understand what you mean,” you replied casually, trying to disguise your embarrassment, which only confirmed Daphne’s suspicion.

“If that makes you feel better, I would gladly be your sister-in-law,” she chuckled loudly at the astonished expression on your face.

“Daphne!” you tried to scold her, but deep down you were imagining a future with the eldest Bridgerton, shamelessly planning each and every single detail of your shared life.

Throughout the evening you have caught Anthony’s eyes on you not once, shamelessly watching you as you danced with the most eligible men of the evening. You wished he was to ask you to dance with him, but he never attempted. He forgot his eyes on you at all times, making you feel as if you were a unique jewellery, one that everyone admired, but when it came to actions, he has taken none.

You walked out to the terrace with a glass of champagne in hand, watching the dark blue, night sky covered in a sea of stars. It was a beautiful evening, although slightly colder than you initially expected. Gently rubbing your skin, you tried to get rid of the small goosebumps that started spreading all over your body. You knew it would have been smarter to go back inside, but it was a slightly suffocating feeling, smiling at everyone, dancing with every other person. Whilst you enjoyed it, it was certainly exhausting.

Feeling two cold hands on each side of your arms, you jumped in the least lady-like manner, before they were replaced by a warm material. “You scared me,” you breathed, holding your hand in front of your chest, before you pulled the two sides of Anthony’s tuxedo coat together, enjoying the warmness engulfing you. “Thank you, you shouldn’t have-,” however before you could have finished your sentence, he interrupted you.

“I still don’t understand how I didn’t see you,” he spoke as he leaned against the terrace fence, gazing up at the sky. The confusion across his face earned a small smile from you as you placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Sometimes you don’t see what’s right in front of you,” you replied as he turned around, watching your hand rest on his shoulder, before you quickly removed it, hoping he didn’t think you meant to be disrespectful. However, the playful grin playing in the corner of his lips reassured you, making you smile just as well.

From that night there wasn’t a day you didn’t meet in his house or he didn’t come over to yours with an excuse, even though he needed none, your mother was delighted to see the Viscount in her house. Although he didn’t make it official that he was courting you, it was a known fact. He had his eyes on you and he made sure everyone knew of his unspoken intentions.

But Anthony was also a man of freedom. He had to take over the Bridgerton household, he had no place to object, but the freedom he practiced in his personal life was a necessity. You thought your relationship was going in the right direction as he courted you and you accepted his advances. However, after months he seemed as if he still had no intention of proposing to you, whilst he still kept other men as far away as he could from you.

You were tired of waiting. You didn’t want to marry just yet, but you have been waiting for his proposal for the longest of time and his indecisive manners made you doubt his intentions. Of course, you voiced your concerns to Daphne, who concocted a brilliant plan to make his brother jealous. Or so you thought it was brilliant.

As the next ball came and you walked inside the room with an innocent smile, dressed as beautifully as never before, many men gazed at your beauty, lips parting in astonishment. Surely, you enjoyed the attention, especially the one whose eyes seemed to burn holes into your body. But you didn’t look at him. You decided that if he couldn’t take your relationship a step further, then you would pay no attention to him.

“Miss, would you like to dance?” you heard from behind you as Benedict appeared in your vision with a mischievous smile. Although you were aware of Daphne’s plan, she was very secretive about the details.

“Daphne, isn’t it?” you asked, chuckling.

“Let’s just say I had no objection as soon as I heard that there was a way to irritate my brother,” he smirked proudly.

“Is this some twisted way to show your love towards your brother?” you asked, giggling as you felt Anthony’s eager eyes on you.

“I just enjoy seeing him sulking,” he shrugged carelessly.

“I take no responsibilities for any consequences,” you pointed your index finger at him with a mocking seriousness.

“Don’t you worry, miss,” he chuckled as he took your hand in his and led you to the dance floor. Eager eyes watched the pair of you, amazed by the bravery Benedict showed, even though everyone was aware of Anthony’s interest in you.

“If eyes could kill, I would drop dead at this moment,” he laughed, taking a peek at his brother as he led you around the circle, the quartet playing a rather slow song.

“I certainly feel daggers piercing through my back,” you snickered at the absurd situation.

“My brother means well, he is just an idiot,” he added.

“I wish I could object. I mean against the idiocy, of course,” you replied casually earning a heartfelt laughter from Benedict.

“Surely, he will open his eyes now,” he tried to reassure you which earned a sceptical look from you.

“I thought we had just established that he was an idiot,” you raised a questioning brow.

“I certainly think they are mutually inclusive,” he scoffed, earning an eye roll from you.

As the song stopped, Anthony walked up to you with a stern look and serious expression painted across his face, holding his hand out to you. You raised a questioning brow, before you placed your hand in his, letting him take you into the sea of people.

“What was that all about?” he asked as he pulled your body flash against him, his chest pressing against yours. Your breath hitched at the sudden closeness, his proximity clouding your mind. You could feel your body move to the rhythm of the music, but it didn’t register in your head.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you breathed, completely engulfed in his scent.

“Why were you dancing with my brother?” he asked in a stern voice, pulling you out of the mist covering your mind. You certainly didn’t like his tone, nor did you like the way he looked at you.

“Why wouldn’t I? You never ask me to dance with you nor am I engaged to you. I can dance whomever I would like to,” you replied with a straight face, hiding all your emotions.

“You know how important you are to me. Don’t play such games with my brother,” he hissed in frustration.

“Would you like me to play it with someone else?” you asked, feeling as if you were playing with fire, waiting for the moment he’d had enough.

“You very well know that’s not what I meant. You know of my feelings for you,” he groaned in anger, feeling useless, unable to find how to solve this problem.

“Do I? Have you ever expressed them clearly? As far as I know, we are just a man and woman in a close friendship,” you shrugged as the song finished and tried to pull away from him. However, he didn’t let you.

“There is no friendship between women and men,” he replied, clearly dissatisfied with your answer.

“We are acquaintances then,” you scoffed as you removed his hand from your waist and turned around, walking away from him. It felt as if your lungs were about to explode, as if you couldn’t breathe. The fact that he dared to say he had feelings for you when he clearly chose his freedom over you made you feel more upset than you wished to be.

“Where are you going?” you heard his voice as you headed towards the exit, trying to get some air into your lungs. “Where the hell are you going?” he tried again, his tone more frustrated this time.

“None of your business, Bridgerton,” you hissed in anger.

“B-Bridgerton?” he questioned, slightly stuttering, clearly astonished by your choice of name.

“That’s your name,” you replied with a groan as you headed down the stairs, grasping the side of your dress as the chilly weather hit your warm skin unexpectedly.

“Just stop for a second and let’s talk,” he attempted to catch your wrist, but you pulled it away just in time.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Bridgerton. You are the last person I want to see,” you scoffed.

“Surely, that’s not true,” he argued.

“You had months to talk to me, don’t come looking for me now,” you replied, but before you could have comprehended what was happening, Anthony got hold of your wrist and dragged you behind the building, away from the praying eyes, closing your escape route with his palms against the wall on each side of yours.

None of you spoke up, both of you studied one another as if waiting for what the other would say. You had the time to admire his handsome features, his messy hair that resembled more of a bird's nest as the wind blew it in all kinds of directions in his hurried steps.

“Why did you do this?” he asked, his tone finally calm and collected.

“I wanted to see your reaction,” you confessed, not even feeling guilty.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he frowned at your words.

“I thought there was something between you and me. I thought it was more than a friendship. I honestly believed you felt more. But you never attempted to talk about the future, you never wanted to discuss marriage, you never even mentioned wanting a family. I was certain that you would never look at me as a lady. I would always just be a friend,” you scoffed with a small, pained smile in the corner of your lips.

“What are you talking about?” his confusion sat clearly across his face. “I always tell you how madly I miss you when I can’t be around you. I keep saying how I wish to be near you more often. I couldn’t be clearer about my intentions,”

“You see, it’s still not clear to me. What are your intentions exactly?” you asked, cruelly ignoring his previous words.

“Surely, you understand,” he scoffed in disbelief.

“No, I don’t,” you replied, shaking your head.

“I- I just,” the stuttering mess he has become gave you the answer to your questions.

“You see, Bridgerton, you can’t even get yourself to say it,” you heaved a deep sigh and pushed his arm away from the brick wall, heading back towards the entrance. However, before you could have taken another step, he caught your wrist and pulled you back against the wall, his body pressing against you, the cold bricks making you shiver. You could feel his breath on your lips, one of his hands on your waist. You have heard so much about that first kiss and even though you knew it was wrong, that it shouldn’t happen, you waited in utter anticipation.

Anthony tried to control himself, knowing how important you were to him, but the proximity between you clouded his mind as he abruptly closed the gap between you, attaching his lips to yours, hungrily exploring the new territory.

It was wrong, so wrong, but the moment was bittersweet. The kiss was sweet and passionate, one you couldn’t even imagine in your wildest of dreams and you couldn’t even care about the consequences if anyone saw you.

The shock across his face as pulled away from you scared you for a mere second. “I sincerely apologise, I have no idea what came over me,” he tried to take a step back, but you got hold of his arm.

“Why did you kiss me?” you asked, still under the influence of his actions.

“Because I love you. Because I wish to marry you. I want you to be my wife,” he breathed in a sudden confidence. You gently slapped your hands against your lips, his words surprising you, making you feel as if it was a dream.

A small smile spread across your face. “You do?” you asked, uncertainty lacing your voice.

“I would like nothing more,” he rushed to add.

“Is that a proposal?” you asked, chuckling, but what came next was something you didn’t expect.

He dropped down on one knee, pulling a tiny, blue box out of his pocket, opening the lid as he looked up at you, admiring your astonished expression. “Would you do me the honour of marrying me?” he asked, his eyes full of hope.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you shouted excitedly, jumping in his neck, engulfing him in a hug, his broad shoulders barely fitting your embrace.

“Thank you,” he chuckled happily as he placed the ring on your finger, not expecting the quick peck you placed on his lips in the process. He stood up, wrapping his arms around your waist, before he lifted you up from the ground and spun you around with a happy laughter.

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1K notes · View notes

charliedawn · 3 years

Note

Can we get the “how they would kiss you” chapter, but for the Hannibal Fam? Asking for a friend heh…..

Morgan is the master of contracts. So, if he is to enter a relationship with you, or kiss you ? You have to be prepared to face his very businesslike approach to the relationship. He is not here to joke around and takes the matters of the heart very seriously. His kisses also depend on the context and the mood he's in: he may very well be satisfied with a small peck on the lips, or a long sensual kiss ? It depends on what you both are willing to do.

"If you break my heart, I will eat yours. Deal ? Of course, this clause applies to both sides. I give you my authorization to do whatever you want in retaliation if I ever betray you and will not try to defend myself for the duration of the time you deem necessary to punish me, so you may have a fair chance. When it comes to physical contact ? I ask that you give me at least 3 kisses in public during the week and 2 in private and that you hold my hand at least once. Of course, you may do it more than stipulated in the contract, but these are my conditions..Now, what about yours ?"

Peter may be shy, but he's not afraid to make the first step when he needs to. The problem ? Making him stop. If he starts kissing you, he may very well never stop..He is an eager boy and is overflowing with love.

"Is this okay ?"

His favorite sentence when he touches you. He is very self-conscious, but also impatient. He may be a little bit nervous at first, but once he knows that he's doing well ? He will grow bolder. Peter wants to please you and will do everything to do just that. But, be careful..He isn't a sharer and can even overstep over the line of obsessive. His last girlfriend can testify..He may sound sweet ? But, can become very overwhelming very fast. Once he kisses you ? You can count on him to be with you 24/7 and never leave your side..Ever.

Now, Kevin may sound confident ? But, deep down ? He definitely isn't. He may even be even more self-conscious than Peter ? He will always wait for you to make the first move. He likes to tease you, but will never initiate any of your kisses, because he's afraid he may mess up things. So, remind him that he is good enough and try to be as talkative at possible, because he likes when people verbally give them their approval and praise him. He's a sucker for praises. He always looks in pain when he kisses you, but don't worry. It's not that he doesn't like the kiss, it's just that his mind is reeling and imagining all the ways it may end up in a disaster. Example of what's going on in Kevin's mind when he kisses you :

"Oh my God..YES ! It's happening ! Okay, Kevin..Don't screw this up. Just, go with the flow...Wait ! Did I brush my teeth ?! CAN THEY ACTUALLY TASTE BLOOD IN MY MOUTH ?! NO ! Come on, Kevin ! Of course you brushed your teeth ! You're not stupid..But, what if I am ?!"

Hannibal Sr. : The gif is self-explanatory..The man likes it wild. I mean, he can be gentle and nice when he wants to..But, Hannibal Sr. was one of the first cannibals for a reason. He likes the taste of blood and loves the fear he ignites in his preys. He will bite you. Just, be warned. His kisses may not be your cup of tea, since he will suck your blood and bite your face..The man is a true animal. 😳 Of course, he'll make sure you're okay afterwards. He will treat your wounds and kiss you sweetly after the rush of the moment has died down. But, don't expect him to be nice all the time. He's calculative and manipulative and even if he may look like a sympathetic little old man from afar ? Don't be fooled. It's a glamour, a facade, an illusion..Inside ? He's every bit the dangerous and sadistic psychopath everyone imagines him to be.

Just, take control. You heard me. Hannibal Jr. may sound like he enjoys being in control all the time, but it's not always the case. He is always meticulous and well-behaved in public, but it's a whole other thing when he is in a relationship. He will initiate the first few kisses, but afterwards ? You will have to take control sometimes, because Hannibal Jr. is very turned on by possessiveness and a loss of control. The man will make sure to remind you that you're his, but you better do it too ! Hannibal Jr. is normally very calm and collected because he has to be for the children, so try to break his shell ? Be his wild card ? Kiss him when he less expects it and play coy when he actually tries to kiss you. You need to stimulate him intellectually and make it interesting. He can be sweet and caring as much as he can be eager and playful with his kisses. He will never be predictable, and he expects the same from you. Surprise him.

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bulletnotestudies · 4 years

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☁️ 10 tips on studying when your motivation’s nowhere to be found

i got an ask about this yesterday and decided to turn my reply into a post because having trouble focusing when you’re super unmotivated is really common, so i thought more people might find this helpful :) buckle up kiddos, this is gonna be a long one!

1. i want you to remember that this is a universal experience.

every student out there struggles like hell sometimes, and that’s completely normal; you’re not a machine and that means you can’t possibly churn out work 24/7 without burning out. so try not to beat yourself up too much okay, you’re doing great!

2. take a deep breath and identify the reason you’re feeling like this

are you burnt out because of stress or overworking yourself? are you overwhelmed by the amount of tasks on your plate? is there a particular assignment or exam scaring you to the point where you don’t want to start studying? these are all normal reasons for lack of motivation and knowing the why will help you figure out the how - you gotta know the problem to solve it.

3. i know you feel like you’re months behind, but start small

small achievements accumulate. repeat this sentence to yourself daily, write it on a sticky note and keep it on the wall above your desk (it’s exactly what i did). break up daunting tasks into smaller ones; got a billion formulae to know by heart? memorise 3 every day (you’ll have memorised more than 20 by the end of the week!). got a long chapter to study? divide it into smaller chunks and just focus on 1-3 pages a day. slow and steady, you can do it

4. the pomodoro technique is a lifesaver!

i always use this technique when i’m feeling unmotivated and cannot focus. sometimes, your mind just won’t stop wandering off and so scheduling regular breaks is a must! try going for 25 minutes of work, followed by a 5 minute break, then repeat the cycle :) you’ll be less tempted to prolong your break if you know there’s another one coming in less than half an hour. if 25min is too long, try just 15 minutes of focus and work your way up form there - there’s no shame in studying in really short bursts! sometimes that’s all you can bring yourself to do and that’s okay! and if you can, i really recommend a 45/15 or 50/10 ratio (those are the ratios me and my friend - 2nd year med students - use the most :))

5. track your productivity

use the forest mobile app or a hand-drawn productivity tracker in your bujo - a visual representation of productivity will activate the reward system part of your brain. it’s the same part that’s involved in addiction formation and you can use it to your advantage - get a mini high from seeing your effort, not only from seeing your results!

6. set up a reward system

continuing on that tangent: sometimes, a short break isn’t enough motivation to stay focused. sometimes, you gotta pull a little sneaky on yourself and bribe your brain. some examples: - ‘if i can manage to reach 3 hours of productivity today, i’ll watch my fave movie in the evening’ - ‘i’ll have a bubble bath once i finish reading this chapter’ - ‘if i complete this assignment by the end of the week, i can do absolutely nothing the whole day come Saturday’

7. consider different sources/modes of studying

switching things up can do wonders; try making flashcards on quizlet, watching youtube videos on the topics you’ll be tested on, you can read wikipedia articles (wikipedia is severely underrated!), browse for podcasts on the topic, there’s a million different ways to learn, not just sitting down and reading from your textbook for hours on end :) on a similar note, if you have the option, try studying elsewhere - go to the kitchen table or study on the floor - beware of the bed and sofa! not a good idea, you’ll most likely end up taking a nap.

8. take care of your body and your mental health

have you drunk enough water today? have you eaten enough vitamin-rich foods? make a healthy snack! or get your fave comfort food, that works too, extra serotonin :) have you been outside in the past 3 days? if not, i highly recommend a short walk outside (if your corona regulations allow it, ofc). i know getting out of your house is hard, i suck at it myself, but getting fresh air and direct sunlight is crucial for your wellbeing! think of yourself as a slightly more complicated house plant:) you gotta nourish to flourish!

9. stop for a second and think how you value your work.

i’m sure you’ve done more than you give yourself credit for. it may seem too little, a drop in the sea of assignments you’ve yet to hand in, but every single minute of effort counts! every little task you do brings you closer to your goal! replied to a school email? good for you, you’ve got your correspondence covered and your professor knows you’re working hard. took 3 minutes to clear your study space? wonderful, a fresh setup = a fresh mindset! got more than 6 hours of sleep? yay, your brain had time to recuperate from a day’s worth of activities!

10. and again, you are not alone in this!

i promise there are at least 50 other people feeling exactly the same as you at any given moment. we all struggle with the same things, in one way or another, and motivating each other always helps. whether it be aggressive pep talks or gentle words of encouragement, studyblrs always have each other’s backs and you can message practically anyone in this community if you’re in need of support :) our job is to hype each other up and watch as we reach our respective goals <3

take care and good luck with your studies!

some additional posts you may find helpful: ◦ a wonderful ‘how to get stuff done’ guide ◦ energy management ◦ focus & productivity tips ◦ a very straight to the point guide to starting a successful study sesh ◦ how to handle having too much to do

my other masterposts: study sounds⎪dealing with failure⎪chrome extensions for students

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sprachgefuehle · 3 years

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how the fuck do you handle reading with adhd? pls tell me your secrets

Hi anon! First of all a disclaimer: I am taking meds which probably does influence my ability to read books BUT I started working on reading again months before I finally got my meds. I believe that the strategies I have found for myself over several months have played a huge part in being able to read again. Of course, I can’t promise that these strategies work for other people. That being said, this has been my strategy:

1. Start small and ride the hyperfixation wave

One thing that has helped me get into reading again was getting into a fandom where after a really long time, I wanted to read fanfictions again. So I started small with oneshots and used my hyperfixation to slowly build a habit of reading again and read longer and longer stories which also helped my confidence in my reading abilities a lot. When this specific hyperfixation faded, I started asking myself what really sparks my interest and used my interest-based brain to trick myself into reading until I switched from online essays and short stories to very thin books. Everything that did not trigger my interest sufficiently got discarded until reading has turned into a habit that did not require a hyperfixation.

2. Customize your reading experience

Buying an e-reader has also helped me a lot. I have played a lot around with the customization options and found out that it is easier for me if I read with a dyslexic font (even though I am not dyslexic) and use very big letters. It overwhelms me less to just have a few lines at once on my screen. However, customization also helps me when it comes to physical books. What I mean by this is that I sometimes highlight sentences or write comments in the margins etc. For me, reading for university has been easier than reading for fun for years now and one of the reasons is that I am reading with a purpose and physically interact with the book. Sometimes people tend to assign some “holiness” to books that means you should not “defile” them by writing in them etc. Getting rid of that kind of thinking has helped me a lot.

3. Accept that there are still bad days and reading is just a hobby that should bring you fun. When it doesn’t, stop.

Many people who loved reading when they were young struggle with it now. Adult life is often so much more demanding on many different levels and not having the energy to read when you are already drained by all your obligations is natural and not ADHD-exclusive. I still have days and even weeks where reading feels more painful than fun, so I don’t and try to not feel bad about it. As I said, reading is a hobby. A hobby should help balance your life to make it more bearable. If it doesn’t, don’t. What has helped me a lot in general is looking for what my body and brain need in the moment and not judge my needs. This also helps me identify at what time I do feel like reading which makes it easier and more fun for me.

#anon #ask #adhd #actually adhd #executive dysfunction #adhd advice #ok to reblog

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mrs-gucci · 3 years

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Anything Goes {Maurizio Gucci x Reader}

anonymous (half of their request):

I think the world needs a Maurizio x Studio 54 fic 👀

author’s notes: hello, hello! YES, I think we need this...and now we have it! thanks for sending it in <3 I really enjoyed researching a bit and whipping up this piece! a special thanks to @babbushka for being the resident Studio 54 expert! Mauri isn’t as ‘soft’ here as he is when I write him usually, but I honestly loved exploring this sort of ‘wild side’.

warnings: smut. porn with some plot. masquerade. I think Studio 54 is a warning of its own. dancing. grinding. p in v. unprotected sex. fluff at the end.

(possible) tw’s: some alcohol consumption. cigarette smoking (canon for character). (!!) implied infidelity/extramarital sex. public sex. (!!)

word count: 2.46k

terms to know

Bellissima means ‘beautiful’ in Italian (an affectionate nickname). Dio means ‘God’ in Italian (used as an exclamation in this piece). Cristo means ‘Christ’ in Italian (used as an exclamation in this piece). Cazzo means ‘fuck’ in Italian (used as an exclamation in this piece).

maurizio’s taglist peeps! @icarusinthesea @eagerforhoney my general taglist peeps! @safarigirlsp @babbushka @mrs-zimmerman @dirtytissuebox @thepalaceofmelanie (if you’d like to be added to or removed from any of my taglists, the link to the google form is HERE or on the top of my masterlist)

Muffled tunes bump from the concrete walls as you and your small group of friends walk past the blocks-long line. You flash your Gucci company ID to the bouncer, who lets you in immediately, getting a few envious mutters and groans from the line-goers.

Studio 54 is the place to be these days and luckily for you, working at the House of Gucci’s New York branch gets you premiere access, since the CEO is a huge investor in the club.

Tonight’s a masquerade theme, so all patrons are wearing a variety of different masks, from whole-face masks to only eye masks. But, each was very much their own, a sea of colors and sequins and feathers as their wearers stride about.

You’re clad in a risqué disco getup, wearing a metallic silver tube top and matching skirt with some small heels that you’re sure you’ll tire of rather quickly. But Studio 54, from what you’ve heard, is all about the looks, the glitz and the glamour. Your eye mask is made to match tonight’s look as well as resemble cat-eye glasses, black with small silver wings coming off the pointed edges.

Your winter coat is checked and then you head up to the dance floor, music getting louder and louder as you ascend the staircase. Your breasts bounce a bit with each step, nipples peering out from beneath the silver fabric. Studio 54 is known for its ‘anything goes’ rule, and you fully intend on taking advantage of that freedom tonight.

It’s jam-packed, just as you’d expected it to be, sweaty bodies dancing and grinding together in a large group on the floor. The stale air is hazy with cigarette smoke, smells of sex and drugs linger all throughout the thick, humid air. Your senses are overwhelmed while at the same time aroused by the sights and smells of Studio 54.

While your friends head over to the bar to grab drinks, you head right onto the dance floor, beginning your night of wild, passionate fun. A few guys come and grind with you for a few minutes or so, but they leave shortly after. Your eyes peer through the holes in your mask, lingering over the talent standing at the sides of the floor, scouting and waiting to devour their scantily-clad prey.

Your gaze pauses on a man leaning against one of the pillars, lighting up a cigarette. He looks in stark contrast to all other club-goers who sport the metallic, the feathers, the sequins, the avant-garde. He’s so abnormally normal with his crisp, classy 007-type tuxedo. His chestnut brown hair drapes down to just below the brilliant white collar of his button-up, neatly moussed and styled. He’s disguised by a bright white half-face mask, making him appear almost ghoulish when paired with his handsomely pale skin.

His eyes suddenly dart over to meet yours and your cheeks heat up as you look away, biting your lip softly. He smirks, taking a drag off his cigarette before heading over to the bar. He’s going to need some courage juice in him before he approaches you.

The night wears on and you start to get a bit discouraged. You’re still having fun, of course, you just wish that it was going more according to your fantasy and imagination. Perhaps you should head to another club, see if you fare better there.

Deciding in favor of checking out other hotspots in the area, you begin to make your way off to the side back towards the door. Suddenly, a set of large, strong hands slide onto your waist and pulls you back, forcing you to collide with a large body. The scent of expensive cigarettes enveloping you as he steps up behind you and goosebumps instantaneously erupt down your arms as the tall man leans down, lips now at your ear.

“Ciao, bellissima.” His voice is slightly husky and thick with Italian origin, alcoholic breath hot on your skin. “The party’s out here on the floor, not down at coat check.”

You chuckle. “It seems that no one wants to party with me for more than five minutes tonight. I was gonna try my luck at another club.”

He pulls you back a bit further against him.

“Well then, it’s lucky I caught you. I’d be just kicking myself if I missed the chance to dance with a beauty like you.”

“I think you overestimate my talents, sir.” You’re wondering if this is a dream, something to cope with the real-life disappointment of the night.

The man chuckles, running his nose along the side of your neck and inhaling your sweet perfume. “And I think you underestimate your talents, miss.”

A slower, more sensual song begins to play through the speakers and you reach up to wrap your hand around the back of your unknown dance partner’s neck, keeping him down near your head.

“Let’s find out who’s right, then, shall we?”

His grin is obvious, even though you can’t see him. “Yes, let’s.”

You start by leaning back against him, simply feeling out the slow and steady rhythm of the beat. You’ve never felt so relaxed, so carefree before and it feels really, really nice. He drops his hands from your hips, but sways along with you, trying to keep his lips away from your up-done hair.

He ends up having a few of your hairs catch on his plush lips a few minutes later, causing him to have to try spitting them out subtly and quietly.

It doesn’t work.

You laugh softly and he blushes, chuckling awkwardly along with you. “Sorry about that. You must’ve caught some of my flyaways.”

“Yes, it seems that way. I feel guilty for ruining the mood, though.” His nose nudges at your temple, hands coming back up to hold your hips as he senses your motions grow a bit quicker.

“Don’t. I’m sure we can manage to bring it back to what we had before. In fact, I think we can make it even better.”

Your hips begin to circle back against him at a more aggressive rate of speed, moving the fabric of his dress slacks all over his hardening crotch. His breath is shaky as it comes out through his nose, fingers digging a bit tighter into the flesh of your hips.

The humid air practically suffocates the two of you as the other patrons dance all around, causing a slick sheen to quickly cover your skin, the roots of your hair soaking through steadily. Your fingers gently massage his scalp as his lips move and suck red marks into your tender skin that’ll surely turn purple by the end of the night.

Soon, he begins experimentally rolling his pelvis in time with your motions, grunting against your neck at the sensations this new move is creating. He’s almost fully hard beneath his suit slacks by now, already planning out how he’s gonna get with you tonight. Patrizia doesn’t have to know about this.

“So, are you ever gonna let me see you, mystery man?” You ask, chuckling.

He blushes beneath the mask. He’s extremely hesitant to let you see him, an instinct born of being in the spotlight since youth. But then he remembers, he’s in America and he has a mask on.

His hands pull away from you and a small kiss placed on your exposed shoulder. “Look upon me, then, bellissima.”

Suddenly gripped with nerves, you turn around slowly and look up. He’s handsome; the epitome of men, warm brown hair and endearing ocean blue eyes. His gazes roam your masked appearance in a similar manner, relieved that you don’t seem to recognize him. A sudden feeling of familiarity washes over you as your eyes meet once more.

“Your eyes, your gaze...they’re familiar to me. Is there a chance we’ve crossed paths before?”

His nostrils flare in fear, eyes going wide for a moment. A soft, cautious breath leaves his lips and he shakes his head quickly. “No, it’s not likely. I’ve been told I have one of those faces, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. That’s probably it.” You step back up to him, hands smoothing over his broad chest. “Now, where were we?”

“Hmm, I think it was...” Maurizio smirks, leaning down so that his lips hover just above yours. “Right about here, if I recall correctly.”

Pressing yourself up on your toes, you connect your lips to his just as the last of his sentence passes through his velvety pink lips. Your arms snake up around the back of his neck, fingers toying with the rich brown locks. They certainly won’t be so neatly styled when you’re finished with him tonight, that much you’re sure of.

He smiles against your lips, stepping up a bit closer to you, body now pressing right up against yours. The two of you remain that way until he pulls away softly, breathing slightly heavy as his eyes look over your face.

“Can I take you upstairs? To the uh, balcony, perhaps?”

Oh, you’ve heard plenty of things about the balcony and the heat has already begun to pool in your loins. You nod, a small but devious grin stretching across your face.

“Absolutely. Lead the way, handsome.”

The two of you make your way towards the staircase, dodging and weaving through the crowds of dancing drag queens, salacious skaters, carefree celebrities and various other perky patrons.

“Do I get to learn your name before we reach the balcony?”

His breath hitches. “Mauri, you can call me Mauri.”

Your brows furrow slightly. You’ve never heard a name like that before, but maybe it’s some kind of nickname.

“Mauri, got it. I’m Y/N.”

Y/N. A beautiful name, fit for a beautiful woman.

He smiles and nods, guiding you up to the balcony. When you arrive, there are already plenty of people inhabiting the space, all in various stages of either sex, undress or getting high.

This is definitely where a majority of the sex smell downstairs is originating from.

Mauri keeps his head tilted downwards and you swear you can see a bit of a blush on his cheeks as he takes you over to a relatively secluded corner. He undoes his belt quickly, sloppily kissing you as he does so.

You gasp sharply into his mouth when he suddenly scoops you up and slams you against the wall, lips working your neck while his hands free his hardened arousal from where it’s trapped beneath the restrictive suit fabric.

Your skirt is promptly pushed up to rest on your hips, your panties are pushed to the side, and Mauri’s cock is sheathing itself inside you before you can even process it.

“Ohhh christ.”

His jaw slacks against your neck, eyes squeezing shut while his hot breath spreads over your taut skin. Goosebumps erupt where the invisible warmth falls. “Dio.”

He stays still for a moment, then buries his face into the crook of your neck before his hips begin to move. There’s nothing slow or intimate about what the two of you are doing, it’s carnal. It’s sloppy and rough, the sweat mingling especially where your skin is pressed against his.

The smell of sex that permeates around you only makes the whole experience that much more arousing. Your eyes looking around the room to see other couples getting off, shuddering and whining as you make eye contact with a young woman currently getting fucked on the ground. Your insides clench around him instinctively, earning you a small grunt while your hand takes hold of his silky brown locks.

“You’re tight, cristo, so hot and slick for my cock.”

Your head falls back against the wall with an audible clunk sound and you cringe in acute pain for a quick moment, but the pure lust and hunger flowing through you provides the adrenaline needed to ward off the pain. It’ll surely be sore come dawn, but really, you couldn’t care less at the moment.

“So big, Mauri, fucking me so good.”

Mauri fucks you harder, then, crooked teeth scraping against the taut flesh of your neck, panting softly. You reach down into the humid space between your bodies until your fingertips find the engorged bud nestled neath folds of delicate flesh.

A wet sound soon emerges from between your legs as your fingers swipe back and forth over your clit quickly, bringing yourself right up to the edge within only a minute or two.

He grunts into your neck, pace rapidly devolving into one that’s erratic and desperate, shaft pulsing under the tight grip of your insides. His breathing grows quick and shallow, hands pushing at your spread legs to push them further into a spread eagle position.

“Where do you want it?”

You moan along with his motions, pitch heightening slightly with each of his powerful thrusts. “Fuck, I--”

Suddenly, you’re thrown over the edge, a powerful orgasm hitting you like a truck. An avalanche of pleasure rolls over your body, nerves buzzing with warm feelings of release. Your hand wraps around the back of his head, lips near his ear to catch the chorus of whimpers, whines and little mewls that leave your lips.

“M-Mauri.”

His brows crease, knitting in the center of his forehead as he fucks you through it, finding it a nearly impossible feat to stave off his own climax, but he manages.

“Cazzo, I--wheredoyouwantit?” He’s barely holding on, now.

“Outside, a-anywhere.”

Balls pulling up, Mauri moans and pulls out quickly, just as the first thick rope of creamy release spatters onto your fleshy inner thighs. A long, shaky groan leaves his lips before he crashes them onto yours to muffle the rest of his sounds.

You move with him, lips liquid with his, fluid motions so effortless that you’d think the union was one entity. He pulls away from your lips slowly, then out of your tingling cunt, a smile on his face the whole way along.

“I apologize for the mess, bellissima.” He pulls out a handkerchief and wipes the creamy liquid from your thighs before helping pull your skirt back down. “There we go.”

You offer him a small smile, biting your lip as the unsureness of what to do next takes over. After a moment, you clear your throat, chuckling softly.

“I’m not really sure what to do next, if I’m completely honest.”

“Me neither.” His cheeks, of what you can see of them behind the mask, turn a shade of pink. “How about I buy you a drink at the bar? That seems like a good place to start.”

Your lips instantly curve upwards into a smile and you offer him a soft nod.

“A drink would be great.”

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queersturbate · 4 years

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ryōhei arisu is autistic

usually, since im autistic myself, all I would have to say is dude trust me but ive gathered some evidence anyway

major alice in borderland spoilers

1. we can see him have meltdowns in episode 1 and 4. In episode one, the meltdown is brief and stopped pretty quickly, as everything is happening very fast. karube decides to put all the pressure on Arisu to save them. Karube is leaning over Arisu who has back himself up against a wall when he starts to feel overwhelmed, he gets up and thrashes to get out all the baddness~ (similar to stimming)

in episode four when he had just lost karube and chota in a very traumatic way he gets picked up by Usagi and when he wakes up and he works himself up into a very bad meltdown, he keeps repeating that he has to apologize to them and he's repeatedly banging his head on the ground. keep in mind that everyones meltdowns look different- autistic people with abusive family, like arisu, often have small, quick meltdowns so they won't get abused for having an intense meltdown (my meltdowns are 100% unnoticeable)

2. Arisu happy/focus stims in a lot of unnoticeable ways, i think he probably has learned to subdue his stims because of his family, he probably even has tried to stop stimming completely but it's almost impossible to do so. Here's one point where he happy stims (pushes his knees up and rocks, i stim like that so it was cool to see)

3. Arisu exclusively wears comfortable clothing, he wears plain (maybe with a little writing or a simple pattern) t-shirts most of the time he has a thin jacket over, he wears capris pants or shorts. at the end of the season he wears a button up shirt but it looks soft and with a nice texture. He never wears anything with a rough or uncomfortable texture- like jeans- and never wears anything constricting they're always loose fitting

4. his special interest is video games. this doesn't need much of an explanation I mean it's just what it is, he spends every chance he gets playing video games, like when he's walking and no one is answering him so he starts playing a game- he also gets excited when Usagi asks what an online game is- he wants to info dump and is about to but quickly stops as she looks uninterested

5. he also has a tough time in social situations and cannot always read social cues and doesn't know social norms- when he is with karube and chota- people he has known since he was a lot younger- he is much more relaxed and himself. When in a new group of people or around a new person he often goes temporarily nonverbal- shaking his no and nodding yes primarily. Like when he is with Hatter- he rarely responds to him only saying 2 very quick sentences while the rest of it is him staring and shaking his head (there are actually a lot of instances where he does this im not gonna name everyone of them)

and when he goes to talk to the two girls he is very blunt and doesn't read social cues- yelling out "i wasn't trying to hit on you!!" very loudly as they ran away from him- he can also be very blunt about a lot of things and it often gets him berated or the shit beat out of him. He means no harm with this bluntness, seeing nothing wrong with saying these things. Of course- if it's chota or karube, they dont mind his bluntness- like when Chota has a burned leg and they were theorizing the possibility of the universe they were in was VR. arisu says that VR cant make such a bad injury, chuckling to himself, seeing it as a joke he made. No one else laughed. Also a social norm that he doesn't seem to think about- when Usagi gave him her water bottle to drink he immediately offers it to the two strangers theyre with without asking her first (also an example of his hyper empathy which he shows a lot of throughout the season). he also has "odd" reactions to things in general. Compare his reactions to everyones reactions to everything in the season- you'll see what I mean

6. he can also go into hyperfocused mode (a side note: I believe he has a eidetic memory- as you can see in episode one where he is in hyperfocus mode and he remembers the evacuation map perfectly- which I know eidetic memories haven't been proven to be a thing per se but as they study it- it is commonly found in autistic people) which you can see during the games or when someone is telling him important information- for example episode one:

7. this one is short but it stuck out to me a lot- he is extremely touchy with karube and chota. he is always hugging them and reaching out to grab them, stuff like that but he looks extremely uncomfortable when someone else touches him and he doesn't touch anyone unless he absolutely needs to like life or death situations

in conclusion <3 arisu is autistic (and nonbinary) and you cant say he isn't because i literally gave you evidence and im autistic and nonbinary

#srry for the long post im on mobile <3 #anyway #ryōhei arisu #arisu ryōhei #autistic character #alice in borderland #aib #i was gonna put headcanon but it's not it's literally canon LOOK AT IT #kento yamazaki #all his characters??? are autistic and nonbinary #like shindo from good doctor??#L FROM DEATH NOTE DRAMA???#i haven't seen kingdom yet but i can tell his character is autistic and nonbinary #i can feel it #anyway bye

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senlinyu · 3 years

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Thanks for the tag @simplifiedemotions

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

994094. I feel like I've been edging a million words for like a year, and then writing nothing but minifics and one-shots.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just two three. Harry Potter. Star Wars. Edit: And Avatar: The Last Airbender.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Manacled

2. All You Want

3. The Seduction

4. Love and Other Misfortunes.

5. Height

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I don't. When I started posting on ao3 I didn't realize it was a thing, and thought that if I replied that people would think I was doing it to inflate my comment count, and then by the time I realized that it was the polite thing to do, I was in really deep and had overcommitted myself with update schedules. And replying to comments gives me really bad anxiety for some reason, I feel really bad if my replies are repetitive, or like one person gets a longer response than someone else, and so then I start mentally spiralling and stressing about it, so I've just made it a rule that I don't need to reply to comments and prioritize chapter updates as a way of making it up to my readers. But I do read them all.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably Manacled, that's the one that has hurt the most people I'd say.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't. I find worldbuilding in one universe gives me enough stress without adding on a second one.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Quite a bit of during the last year in particular. I have resigned myself that it's the inevitable consequence of having stories recommended outside of their intended audience, they start finding their way to people who are going to hate them. And I've never prioritized widespread appeal or catered to a particular readership, so it's not surprising, but still it does get to be a bit much somedays when it feels like I can't go anywhere without running into it. But I'm coming to terms with it... and I just stay off social media and keep my social circles small on the days when I don't feel like I can.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have been known to. I don't even know what kind I write. I've done all sorts at this point. I've found that I don't tend to like writing particularly explicit sex in longer fics because I feel like it tends to distract from the focus of the story, but I enjoy writing smutty one-shots and shorter fics where I can give my kinks a full workout.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes... a couple times now. But so far its been something that's been pretty easily resolved.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I've been meaning to make a spreadsheet for translations because I've been trying to get more organised about fandom stuff.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Dramione is what I always come back to in the end.

Whats a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Too many, tbh. I have so many projects that I've started and now they're languishing in my files and I just haven't found them compelling enough to finish or had the motivation to rework into something better.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don't know. I think my use of language is fairly vivid, visually/physically/emotionally. That's probably my main strength.

What are your writing weaknesses?

My sentences lean towards being too short and choppy all the time. I can't write first person that I don't despise. I get overwhelmed by large casts. And I can get too easily caught up in overanalyzing my plots and picking them apart and thereby never finishing them.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I enjoy it when there's a plot point to it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ugh. Hard to say. I have a lot of fond feelings for Manacled since I am pretty proud of it and I kind of... grew up as a writer in the process of writing it. But that also makes it a kind of painful fic to reread because it's hard for me to see the story people love because I just see all the technical issues and things I could have done better.

A lot of my other fics are based at younger ages like Eighth Year (now I'm currently writing a 6th Year fic) where the framework and perspective of the characters is narrowed by their age, and so even though I like them and really enjoyed writing them, they have less of a sense of resonance for me personally. I have a really complicated fic that I've been developing for over a year now that has probably my most interesting Draco and a very complicated Hermione, and if I can swing it, it'll probably be my favourite because it kind of hits a lot of my sweet spots story-wise. But god knows when I'll get around to publishing it.

Tagging: @bourbonrain, @lovesbitca8, @monsterleadmehome, @im-a-monster-fucking-princess @akashathekitty @wordsmithmusings265 @katsitting @littlemulattokitten @jmilzwrites

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endlinetheredeath · 3 years

Text

Q&A

“Everyone please welcome Tommy a member of the first sentient species from a class 12 planet!”

With that Nak stepped down from the box he was standing on and suddenly a chorus of dozens of voices started yelling and shouting questions at me, everyone trying to out yell the other. It was so much and so sudden that the translator that Nak gave me just minutes before couldn’t keep up and started to translate only single words as it tried to switch between so many voices.

Nak and the doctor stepped up next to me and started to try and calm the people down but it wasn’t looking good. I myself was getting more and more overwhelmed so in a split second decision at turned on my heals and walk out of the hangar closing the door behind me, and leaned on the wall of the hallway. At that point the crowd was so engrossed with their arguing that they didn’t even notice that I was gone. The voices were so loud that even behind a door that cloud most likely resist the vacuum of space i was still able to hear them.

Leaning next to the wall I sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling.

“ That was a bit much...” I muttered to myself.

“ Yeah they can be overwhelming sometimes.” a soft reassuring voice said next to me, the voice startled me so much that i jumped, my arms flailed wildly before quickly settling in a defensive position. That's when i saw a small, well compered to me small creature covered in fur, I’m about 180 cm the alien standing in front of me was about 140. If i had to describe how she?... hmm the voice that came from my translator was definitely female... anyway if I had to describe her i would go with a kangaroo mixed with a fennec fox, although her fur was white.

Once I realized I wasn’t in danger I lowered my hands and relaxed.

“You startled me...”

“I can see that... didn’t mean to sneak up you, sorry.”

“No no, no need to apologize, i just didn’t expect anyone...” I sighed “anyway my name’s Tommy nice to meet ya.” Out of reflex i reach out my hand for a handshake but unlike Nak she took it after a second or two.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Kiela. I’m the ships comms expert... i was the one that pick up the radio signals that led us here in the first place.” Her deep brown eyes sparkled with joy as she looked at me.

“What is your planet like, considering it is a class 12 one, it is hard for me to imagine how a species that looks so much like the captains could survive there?

“Uhm... well ... first, what does class 12 mean anyway?”

“Oh oh ok, well there are 15 classes altogether ... the first 3 are uninhabitable because they are basically just huge rock without any sort of atmosphere to speak of and the last 3 are just so volatile that we just thought that no species could survive for long enough to become intelligent on them...” she said really quickly and all flustered.

“Oh ... well ok. So to answer you question there are places on Earth that are relatively safe and nowadays we have all kinds of technologies for detecting and tracking the more dangerous stuff...like the place where Nak picked me up the Carpathian basin, we don’t get anything overtly dangerous like earthquakes or tornados or extreme colds ... the most dangerous stuff we do get are lightning storms and you can easily deal with that by just going indoors...” i trailed of there as i saw Kiela’s eyes narrow slightly at my mention of Nak.

“Nak, do you mean Nakqr’hlirgmkoz the captain?”

“Yep, i just can’t pronounce his name, not yet anyway, and he was ok with me calling him just Nak.” I said rubbing the back of my neck.

Before either of us could ask any more the door behind me opened and the others were looking in rather concerned, then Nak piped up...

“Ah of course it is our sweet Kiela the one that saves the day once again!”

At his sudden exclamation she started to fidget a little in embarrassment ...

“Captain i didn’t save anything i just didn’t act all childish like the rest of the crew here.” Her fidgeting stopped by the second half of her sentence and she looked sternly and disapprovingly at the large group behind the captain.

“Were you able to calm them down enough for us to rejoin you?” she looked back at Nak her expression immediately softening.

“In fact i was!” He said putting his hands balled lightly into fists on his hips and he puffed his chest out striking a pose what i could only call a Superman pose but with four arms.

With that Kiela grabbed my hand and led my dumbstruck ass back into the hangar and ordered the group to quickly set a bunch of crates up for seating. She organized it so everyone was able to see and to be seen and set me down in front of them flanked on either side by Nak and herself. With this setup and her constant policing of the crew i started answering question left and right and the others answered my questions as well. Before i knew it hours had passed and we talked about all kind of topics including but not limited to humanity in general as well as certain individuals, all the different kinds of species among the crew and the species in the wider universe, technologies, cultures and a lot of other minor stuff.

“... so yeah after that pandemic it took us quite a few decades to recover properly.” i reached down into my pocket and pulled out my phone. On the screen the time read 02:14.

“ Ahh ..crap.” I grimaced at my phone.

With that exclamation pretty much everyone looked at me, the quiet murmur and the occasional chuckle died down and Kiela put her hand on my right arm in which i held my phone, she opened her mouth to say something but before she could Nak spoke.

“Is everything alright?” he said with a concerned voice.

“Yeah it just got really late really quick and my mum’s probably gonna kill me when i get home...” I said looking up at Nak with a half smile.

His eyes widened with horror and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, Kiela’s grip on my arm tightened as well. Realizing my mistake I quickly said..

“Figuratively speaking of course...” I chuckled nervously and raised my hands in a calming manner. Nak and Kiela relaxed but as i quickly glanced over at the others some of the were not entirely convinced.

“Alright, that’s it for today then, we should probably get you back home before we get you in even more trouble right?” Nak said smiling and shaking his head.

“That would be appreciated, but i would really like to come back sometime i really enjoyed my time here.”

“Oh you can count on it.” Nak said followed by a chorus of yeahs and definitelys by the rest of the group. We stood from our crates and headed towards the shuttle that we came in. Nak jumped in first and started on his preflight check, i followed after but was stopped by Kiela who pulled me down to her level, took my cap off and frizzled my hair than handed my cap back to me.

“There you look better this way... now take care of yourself ok! You’ll be back with us in no time i promise.” with that she let go and ushered me into the shuttle.

“Go go before one these brutes behind me changes their mind and keeps you here for safekeeping.”

I just smiled and waved to everyone as i got in the shuttle. Nak closed the door and started the engine, a couple minutes later we were in the air and headed out the airlock back to Earth.

I settled myself back into the copilot seat and watched Earth growing bigger in my vision. Nak and I talked some more as we landed back behind my house and we were laughing as we walked down the shuttle’s ramp when suddenly everything became white as floodlights lit us up. Both of us quickly put our hands before our eyes to shield them from the blinding light.

“KEZEKET A VELEGŐBE!”(Hands in the air!) came a strained raspy voice trough a loudspeaker

#alien #humans are space orcs #space #humans are weird #sci fi

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kuiperblog · 3 years

Text

The first 1% is always the hardest

Usually, the hardest part of acquiring a new skill is starting it for the first time.

When you’re at an intermediate level of progression, you can usually just increase your skill level by incrementing up the difficulty linearly. If you’re a novice weightlifter and your best overhead press is 125 lbs, try adding 5 lbs to the bar and see if you can overhead press 130 lbs. (If not, keep lifting 125 lbs every few days until that becomes “easy,” then challenge yourself with 130 lbs again.) If you can do 10 push-ups, you will probably reach the point where you can do 11 push-ups, and 12 push-ups, and 15 push-ups, and 25 push-ups, and so on. The hardest part of lifting is day 1, when you might be performing certain motions for the first time in your life, and challenging your body to work muscles that you didn’t even realize existed.

I imagine the same is true of other fitness regimens: once you’re able to run a 9 minute mile, you probably have what it takes to run a 8:30 mile, or a 8 minute mile, if you keep at it. Eventually you’ll hit a plateau and the limits of human performance, but the first day in the gym is always the hardest.

This is sort of how the trajectory of my writing career went. And having talked to artist friends, and musicians, it seems like all of them followed a similar trend: they found a thing, they stuck with it, and over time found themselves advancing along that path bit by bit. It became a hobby or a routine such that over time, by by investing a bit more time, or a bit more effort, or challenging themselves a tiny bit more, they got better at it. And over years, the compounding returns of that meant that the girl who got a drawing tablet at age 14 found that by the time she was 22 years old, she had enough artistic skill to make enough money from her art to make a living.

I think that in a lot of cases, people were able to start down that path of gradual self-improvement in part because they were able to somehow bypass the hardest part of it -- they blazed right through the initial difficulty without even realizing it. They couldn’t even really answer the question of “When did you start drawing,” because they’ve always been drawing since the days that they were just doodling with pencil in paper at school. Maybe they just really enjoyed playing outdoors as a kid, and played soccer because it was fun, and made the seamless transition to being a high school athlete. In my case, I spent a lot of time writing long-winded forum posts explaining the finer points of topics I was passionate about (which, at age 13, was mostly Pokemon and Final Fantasy), and somehow by my 20′s I had enough of a penchant for explaining things that I was able to parley that into a writing career (so I can get paid for my long-winded explanations of Pokemon-related topics).

The early days of learning to write kind of sucked and were difficult. (For starters, remember how unintuitive that QWERTY keyboard was the first time that you learned to type? Remember how painful it was to hunt-and-peck your way through sentences at an effective rate of <10 words per minute?) But my desire to talk about Pokemon on message boards overwhelmed any difficulty or “suckiness” involved with learning to express my ideas through text, and so the suckiness of those early days wasn’t really much of an obstacle.

More and more, I’ve come to believe that the most important part of learning a new skill is finding a way to get over that initial difficulty hump -- of finding a way to survive the first day, and then the first week, and then the first month, and eventually reach a point where inertia carries you forward on a gradual upward slope of self-improvement where you’re not even consciously thinking too hard about improvement; you just randomly muse to yourself one day, “Oh yeah, this barbell I’m picking up weighs about 100 lbs more than the barbell I was lifting a year ago. Fancy that.” The longer you keep at it, the easier it is to stick with it.

In many corners of the internet, there’s an oft-repeated adage that “Watching anime won’t teach you to speak or understand Japanese.” And sure, that’s obviously true on some level. If someone is thinking they’re going to spend a thousand hours watching subtitled anime, and then one day flip off the subtitles and be able to follow everything without missing a beat, they’re probably a bit delusional. If you want to actually achieve anything approaching Japanese fluency, you’re probably going to have to take a Japanese learning course, and engaged in spaced repetition to pick up and retain vocabulary, and all of the other stuff that goes into learning any language.

But I think that watching anime does provide you with one big advantage: it goes a long way toward helping you cross that “day 1″ hump. Because the first day is always the hardest. Going from 0 to 1 is harder than increasing your vocabulary by a few new words every week. Before you can get the compounding returns from incrementally improving at a skill, you have to have a starting principle. And I think that watching anime is actually quite good for that, because only knowing “weeaboo Japanese” will give you 20-30% of the vocabulary that’s included in your first couple Japanese lessons.

I’m speaking from personal experience: it’s incredibly heartening to go through a lesson and encounter words that I’m already familiar with. Even if my fluency in “weeaboo Japanese” only covers 10% of what’s introduced in a given lesson, having a head start gives me an intangible confidence boost which makes it easier for me to focus on and retain the other 90%.

I don’t want to understate the importance of that intangible confidence boost: a lot of language acquisition is getting comfortable with a language, and repeating something so much that you do it without even thinking about it. For example, in English, sometimes sometimes someone might ask you “how’s it going?” and you might answer “fine” before your brain has even consciously registered the meaning of what you were hearing, or saying. And I’m enough of a weeb that I can hear i tenki desu ne and immediately reflexively respond with sou desu ne, before my brain has even consciously registered the question being asked (sometimes taking several seconds to mentally backtrack and realize, “Oh right, the “i tenki” part means “nice weather.”). But years and years of listening and pattern recognition have taught me that when someone ends a sentence in desu ne? with the sort of inflection that says “I’m asking you a rhetorical question,” the proper response is probably sou desu ne, and my brain produces that response just as reflexively as it spits out “I’m doing fine, how about you?” any time someone asks “How’s it going?”)

One thing I’ve come to notice is that every lesson begins with some of some amount of review, giving you that spaced repetition, and providing context for the new words and concepts that the lesson is about to introduce, and generally provide a foundation for the new material. Day 1 is, by necessity, the exception -- how can you “review” material that you’ve never covered before? But for me, the day 1 lessons on how to say nihongo and arigato and watashi and anata were already “review” of topics that I picked up through years of being a weeb.

Besides that, there’s the fact that the structural elements of Japanese are something that my brain was naturally able to grok in a way that is intuitive to me after spending years listening to spoken Japanese even though most of it is contextual. (Like, I’m not sure when this happened, but at a certain point I think my brain just kind of learned, when listening to Japanese sentences, to approximate which parts were the verb and where certain clauses landed in the sentence, if only because when watching anime with subtitles you become consciously aware of when a character’s name appears in the dialog.) I’m not really consciously thinking about it, which kind of feels like the “natural” way to learn a language. (After all, it’s not as if native English speakers, as toddlers, consciously think to themselves, “Ah, it seems as though English typically follows a subject-verb-object grammar structure.” Kids just listen to adults speaking English and form sentences that way without really having to be formally taught.)

It’s highly likely that at some point in my internet career that I have at one point been the cynical message board poster telling someone that, contrary to their fantasies, watching anime isn’t going to help them learn Japanese in any real or material way, and if I’ve ever suggested that, it’s time for me to eat crow. Because while the advantage that “weeaboo-level Japanese” gives you might be small, and only help you on the first few days of Japanese class, those are the most important days, because the first 1% is always the hardest.

My familiarity with “weeaboo-level Japanese” has only given me one disadvantage, and that is that years of memes have poisoned my brain to the point where the first I was prompted with “say ‘excuse me’ in Japanese,” my brain (and mouth) immediately spat out “sorrymasen,” and I wish I could say it only happened once, but it wasn’t until around day 3 that I managed to fully train this habit out of myself.

#japanese vocabulary #learning japanese #japanese

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