#can u believe I’ve had this OC for over 10 years and not 1 time did I think of a ‘once and for all’ pun that’s so GOOD

[lollytea]

Fearless (part 1/3)

(Ty/Louie fairytale au fic. i am simply a bitch writing about my au and my oc so it is all very catered to me personally and im aware not a lot of ppl will read it. but if you DO read it, i love u so much. i guess tw for blood/serious injuries relating to teen characters. nothing too graphic but be warned. Also if you’re curious, info on the au here, here and here.)

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[OCTOBER 22ND, 6:19PM] The sky was bleeding pink and orange and Louie tried to focus on it. Didn't take much brainpower to appreciate a sunset. He clung to the sight with desperation, muttering the simplest thoughts under his breath like a mantra.

It was pretty. He liked sunsets. He liked pink. He liked orange. The distraction wasn't working. The unpleasantness that was already writhing in his stomach churned. His finger was on his temple, idly tracing delicate circles against the tightly wrapped bandage. His head hurt. The point where his shoulder met his upper arm was also dressed. The stitching still had to heal up. That hurt too. Louie was pretty stupid. Which was not something he usually thought. But it was a real kick in the confidence when someone sharp-witted did something stupid. And it was a real kick in the heart when someone who didn't wanna hurt anybody ended up hurting somebody. This was stupid. He had already tried reading as a means of distraction. Too hard. Too many words. Way too much of a strain on his mild concussion. This was so, so stupid. Sitting by his windowsill, he hoped this dumb bandage would be gone soon. His forehead felt sticky and damp with sweat. He was stupid. He wished Webby were here. If she were, she'd be in the courtyard below his window sparring with Dewey. At least then, Louie could watch and keep his mind occupied. No. No, that wasn't right. If Webby were here, she would've attached herself to Louie by now, hugging him tight until his injury healed. If it had been any other incident, Louie would let her, crumbling into her arms and whimpering about the pain as his amazing, magical sister made it all ebb away. But this wasn't any other incident. If Webby were here, he wouldn't be able to accept her hugs. The very idea rubbed him the wrong way. If anyone was entitled to healing hugs, it wasn't Louie, it was--.... His face twisted up. Webby wasn't here. She was off on some quest with Lena. Probably wouldn't be back for days. So there was no point in dwelling over hypotheticals. Louie would heal on his own. They were both gonna have to heal on their own. The sunset was fading.

It was pretty. Pink... Orange.... He couldn't do this. 

Why was he doing this?! Louie always knew himself to be a coward but this was to a pathetic extent. Depraved even. He felt sick. 

He couldn't. He just couldn't. Every additional second he spent hiding in his room was weighing him down. It was suffocating. But he couldn't leave. He was too scared.

Freezing up just like always. Just stop being so fucking scared! He would have to confront what he did eventually. There was no way around it. So, why couldn't he just go now? Louie had far worse things in his life to be dreading. Far worse. A ticking clock of trepidation was seated deep inside him. A predestined future he couldn't rewrite which, on all accounts, should render him paralyzed. But he wasn't. This was the sort of thing to demolish him. Apparently. Stupid. This shouldn't be overdriving his other senses. This shouldn't be flooding his mind. He shouldn't be drowning right now. This shouldn't have his hands shaking. This shouldn't have him pacing the length of his room. This shouldn't be stealing the oxygen from his lungs. His brain was pounding against his skull, protesting his rapid back-and-forth movement. He was dizzy. He shouldn't be crying. Fuck it! He was always crying, who cares about that?! Just stop panicking, just stop crying, just stop being so selfish for once and just own up. Louie's back crashed against his door, gasping for breath. Stars were blotting his vision and he couldn't breathe and it was the end of the world. Okay. Okay. He was spiraling again. That was all it was, it would be okay. It would be okay. The prince's bed chambers, alive with the choking sound of contained distress, subsided to complete silence for just a moment. Inhale. Exhale. And then all to be heard was a small, crackling voice straining to sing himself a quiet little lullaby. ___________ [OCTOBER 22ND, 10:07AM] "Your highness, don't be an idiot. You can't just---Hey! Wait up!" "H'oh boy..." Louie's eyes flicked to the high heavens. Right now he felt like he was tasked with personally escorting this goddamn boy across this goddamn forest by the goddamn ankles. He whirled around impatiently, crossing his arms with a flourish. "Pick up the pace, Tiberius. We don't have all day." "Can you maybe not be a huge pain for like... I dunno, five minutes?" Snapped Ty, his dearly devoted retainer and most notorious pain-in-the-tail. "Can you maybe loosen up? Y'know it's a real mood killer when there's a paranoid guy on my case all the time, insisting that the whole world is out to get me. Being constantly reminded of my fragile mortality? Woo, talk about fun times." Scowling, Ty stumbled his way over a protruding tree root. "You've got a bad habit of attracting danger, you know that, right? I'm pretty sure it's a Duck thing." The remark slapped the annoyed expression right off Louie's face. Ty quirked an eyebrow. "What's that look for?" Before he could further analyse, Louie sharply turned on his heel and strode on. "It's a Duck thing." He said, keeping his tone even. Both of them knew it was a Duck thing. Ty just didn't know the half of it. "Your highness," He heard Ty gripe. "You know this is a bad idea. A prince shouldn't be out in the open like this without proper protection. And I'm unprepared right now. I can't--" If Ty weren't yakking so much, Louie wouldn't know if he was still there. He wasn't wearing his armor for once so the familiar clank and clatter of metal was nonexistent. "You got your sword, right? You can do a lot of damage with that thing." "Yeah but no juice. And I need juice. See, 'cause what if we get in a tight spot and you--?" "What do you think is gonna happen, Ty?! For the love of all that is gold, It's just a party." "It's never just anything." He grumbled. Ty jogged ahead a little, matching his pace to Louie's. His footsteps alongside him were purposefully heavy So, he was stomping now. Real mature. Louie rolled his eyes. He was fully aware Ty was pissed, he didn't have to go above and beyond to make his anger known. "You really think I'm an idiot who doesn't take safety precautions? I'll have you know keeping Prince Louie alive isn't just your problem. Prince Louie is pretty serious about that too." He gestured to himself. "If you haven't noticed, I'm incognito today. I've got no crown, no mantle, no status whatsoever. And look at these ugly peasant threads," Louie pointed out, tugging at the hem of his dull green tunic. "It's actually kinda depressing how drab I look. I'm never gonna do this again actually. But! See how committed I am right now? Who's gonna recognize me? As we're all aware, I'm pretty well known for my pizzazz." "Just 'cause you stop being a prince doesn't mean danger stops existing." "No but it makes you way less of a target. Now, are you really gonna spend your whole day off bitching at me?" 

The glare Ty shot him was petulant at best. "Well, I didn't wanna. But I got dragged along on this little adventure so guess I gotta." Louie pursed his beak, irritated. He did not drag Ty along anywhere. 

"Come to think of it, I don't remember saying you had to follow me." Well, that came out as harsher than intended. Ty didn't seem hurt. At least, there was no sign that he was. No expression cracked his stone mask. "I've got a duty." Louie scoffed. Ty and his stupid duty. It was really starting to wear on his nerves. But not today, absolutely not today. On this fine, glorious day, Louie was intent on having fun. He would show up at this little forest shindig and he would drink and dance and schmooze and whatever else any carefree person at a party would do. He would forget about everything that was eating at him. He wasn't gonna let it consume him, he wasn't. He was gonna live. While he still could. His sixteenth birthday loomed closer. Six months left. "Sorry." Said Ty, unprompted. The shadows festering in Louie's head cleared out as he snapped back to the present. Ty had his eyes firmly downcast, a noticeable slump to his posture. "It's not like I wanna be running around killing the fun all the time. I really don't. But I gotta." Louie said nothing. His eyebrows rose in quiet astonishment as he studied Ty's side profile. He remembered when Ty first came into his life. Twelve years old, brandishing a sword too big for his body and grinning lopsidedly in an unmistakably trouble seeking sorta way. A real firecracker of a boy, loud and bright. Hungry for adventure and excited to throw himself head first into the action. He remembered one of Ty's earliest and most confident statements. When he lowered himself to bow to Louie in his uncle's throne room and declared that the prince would never fear for his life again. Because Ty would protect him and Ty was fearless. Louie believed him. Make no mistake, Ty had plenty of bite back then too. He had disliked Louie and the feeling had been mutual. But he never doubted that Ty had spoken the truth with his entire heart. Ty was fearless. When Louie was with Ty, he was safe. He believed that and he always had. Despite how they clicked as well as a dagger and a keyhole. Despite Ty being annoying. So annoying. He was still annoying. But it was different now. Louie couldn't pinpoint when that permanent glowing smile of his had dwindled and a thin frown had become Ty's default expression. His sword, something he always used to proudly haul around over his shoulder, now unceremoniously sheathed against his belt. Although Louie had noticed that his right hand never strayed too far from the hilt.   Protecting royalty with your entire being was an all-consuming duty and it seemed, at some point, the reality of such an allegiance had slapped Ty across the face. He had this distinct way of holding himself now. Always stood straight and rigid, coiled up with agitation. He was prepared to fight at a moment's notice but it was clear the thrill of doing so had been long since drained out of him. He still smiled. He still laughed. But only sometimes. Ty was annoying because he was paranoid. Because he was snarky. Because he was too stiff, too protective. And man, what Louie wouldn't give to have Ty's former brand of annoying back. At least never made him feel sorry for the guy. "Can I ask you a favor?" Louie finally spoke, pushing back a drooping tree branch so they could walk below it "You can try." Ty shrugged, his gaze still fixed ahead. "What if we just turn off this whole 'Prince and Retainer' thing today. Whadd'ya think?" He turned to him blankly, complete with a slight tilt of the head that made Louie a tiny bit weak. "Wha....?" Ty was simply not computing. He looked as though Louie was throwing out algebra equations and he was supposed to solve them right on the spot. And he was not a math guy by any means. The cute clueless expression was making it a little hard to focus. Louie swallowed. "Listen." He began, his thumb dragging itself across his sweaty palm as he struggled with how to phrase this. Louie had a way with words, always had. But he had a tendency to trip over his own tongue when Ty was involved. Especially when Ty was staring at him with his soft cande-light eyes and doing that stupid adorable head tilting thing and-- "You need a break." Louie blurted out. "You're stressed like constantly and it's getting kinda insufferable and I think your Dad would sick a dragon on me if his barely fifteen year old son suddenly kicked it 'cause of a paranoia overload so I think you should just forget about being my big strong hero for today and come hang out with me at this stupid peasant party and we can just be two regular kids instead of a royal and his bodyguard do you think you could give me that Tiberius?" It was only in the following beat of silence that Louie realized how fast he spat that all out. He struggled to catch his breath. One second. Ty blinked. Two seconds. A flicker of vacant eyes and then a rush of realization. And then disbelief. And then-- Three seconds. His brow scrunched together and a snarl crinkled his muzzle. His eyes flared. Oh, he was mad.... "Are you crazy?!" Ty shouted. He was beside himself with a malfunctioning mix of fury and incredulity that had him stammering his words. "You-You can't just--.....D-do you even-- you don't...do you realize how disrespectful that is? For you to say it? For-For me to do it?! I was given this duty by the King! The fucking King! To just suddenly "turn it off" would be--....I can't--!" Maybe "mad" was an understatement. "Ty--" Louie tried. He was cutting across Louie, treading back and forth on their forest path,. Not going further, not going back. Just walking to nowhere for the sake of being too scandalized to possibly stand still. Louie was attempting to get Ty's attention by grabbing his tunic but he kept shaking him off. "I'd be a disgrace! An embarrassment! I'm trusted by the royal family to keep--...to keep you safe! I-I can't just walk around with my liege like I'm on vacation and not be on guard! You don't even get it, you--" "Ty!" Louie said loudly."You wanna maybe listen for a sec?!" Frankly, he was surprised Ty halted his tirade. His eyes were blown wide, stunned and Louie wasn't quite sure why until he followed Ty's look, snapping down. Seems in his effort to get a hold of the guy, he had instinctively reached out and snatched Ty's wrist. They stood frozen for a moment, each set of eyes boring into the touch that tied them together. Louie's fingers began to uncurl. Then he decided no. His grip on Ty tightened with a purposeful squeeze. Ty met his gaze, looking....panicked? Confused? Didn't matter. He could besottedly dissect his unreadable facial expressions later. Louie inhaled, deciding to shoulder his dignity for just a second. No safety rails of snark this time. Ty might make fun of him for being sincere later but this was important. "Don't you miss being a kid with nothing to worry about?" Louie implored. "Because if we're being real, I don't think we're ever gonna get to live like that again." Ty muttered something to himself, shaking his head a little. "But listen," Louie continued, taking a step into Ty's personal bubble. Ty took an automatic step back. But since he was still holding his hand, Louie was led a step forward. It was difficult to tell with the pink fur but he could've sworn Ty reddened. "Look I know it's weird for me to be asking but....can't we just take a risk today? It's just a party in the woods. Literally the least likely place to find any danger in the whole kingdom." "We shouldn't--" "Ty, please." Honestly, Louie was a little surprised at himself. He hadn't even planned for Ty to accompany him anyway. But in the heat of the moment, everything had shifted upside-down. Turns out there was something inside him willing to beg. Something that wanted more than anything, for Ty come along. He just wanted a simple memory of just killing time with Ty. Separated from the castle and everything that reminded him of his fate. He would like to smile without a hint of dread for once this year. So, he said just that. "I'm not just trying to make you come along 'cause I'm stuck with you. That's not it." He swallowed. "You're--....you're cool. You're fun. I wanna have you around. You know, when you're not so worked up and you're just being yourself, I like hanging out with you." He tugged Ty's hand a little. Further from his sword and closer to Louie. "I want you to come with me. And I want you to try having fun too." He may as well just tell the idiot he thought about him every time he saw a sunset. The hand he was grasping flexed its fingers. Ty abruptly broke eye contact and glanced to the side, his tongue poking out to pierce the tip of his jagged tooth. His indecisive face. "I just--.....I dunno...." He muttered. "If something happened to you--" "Nothing's gonna happen to me." Said Louie immediately. "I've got a good feeling about this. And c'mon Ty, that coming from a coward?" "You're not a coward." He said, barely a whisper. He was now staring at the ground. "I promise." "Huh?" Louie smiled tightly as Ty looked to him questionably. "I promise nothing is gonna happen. I'm gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. Now, can you do me this favor and maybe, I dunno, trust me?" The look Ty gave him was a little sad, but it was soft. And then with only a tiny twitch, it shifted into something else entirely. It was trust. Blind trust. Maybe stupid trust. A minuscule pang of guilt jabbed at Louie. Of course he wanted Ty to trust him. He needed him to if there was any hope of achieving his goal here. But objectively, he really shouldn't. Louie was hiding way too much from him. It wasn't fair. Then Ty broke the world, shattered orbit and played around with reality itself by cracking a smile and Louie forgot every coherent thought he ever possessed. He would never put on record just how long he spent pre-preparing jokes, gunning to get the corner of Ty's lips to flick upwards. Made him seem kinda desperate. Which he was not. Ty had that oh, so stereotypical "cute boy" smile. It was crooked, cocky, it was utterly obnoxious. Louie hated it. And worst of all, it was like a little spell to kick Louie's heart into high speed. Sometimes it dazed and confused him like a blinding light flash. But other times, it was warm and if he stared long enough, he'd fall asleep. Louie loved Ty's smile. Every time he tried to convince himself he didn't, he ended up dwelling on it too much and the way his mouth would quirk up would play in his mind on a maddening loop and then it would be too much to handle and the truth that he loved it would always overpower him. So, whenever that happened (like right this second.) he gave up and admitted it. To himself, anyway. He loved Ty's smile. He loved Ty. ......Wait. That last part was new, hold up. Rewind. But he didn't get the chance because Ty was talking now. Still a little dazzled, Louie didn't catch what he said but he figured it was good since he was still smiling. And then that smile broke into a huge grin, his eyes flashed with trouble and his hands were on Louie's shoulders and-- "Race ya!" Ty cried. With a light push, Louie was stumbling backwards and Ty kicked off into a sprint. For a brief moment, Louie could only gaze after him, stupefied. Love, huh? Like the real deal? That was crazy. But then he snapped out of as he recalled the audacity of this bastard. "You just pushed your liege!" He shrieked, receiving a loud "WOO!" from Ty as a response. And then Louie was grinning. He was giddy. He didn't quite know if he forgot about love in that instance or if it was the force powering him but he was tearing off after Ty, yelling about the latter's totally unfair head start. In hindsight, he should've figured it was love a long time ago. Who else would get him to run for no reason?

[spacecadetcity]

is it gay to call a robot gorgeous? please respond.

word count: 2,167    prompt: #33.    docs: (may be easier to read). sunny (oc)/sunstreaker

if sunny went back in time to about a year and a half ago and told himself that she was going to not only meet the giant robots he insisted existed, but that he would move in with them, and then also fall in love with one, his past self would not only believe him, but would also possibly explode.

    “..which would of course start off a chain reaction of paradoxes- paradoxes? paradoxi? a chain reaction that would cause an endless loop where because i go back in time, past me explodes, which means that i don’t go back in time to tell myself, which means that i don’t explode, which means…”

    “hey, sunstreaker. think your human broke. it just started rambling to itself.” a metallic voice called out, snapping sunny from his self-created trance. of course. he stared over at the bot that had spoken up, trying to recall the name.

    red face, white helm- two little wings that poked out over his shoulders and helped increase speed in vehicle mode, mostly blue and gray. tracks?

    “not my human, tracks. besides, you’re one to speak. how about that kid, raoul?” was the given response. 

tracks huffed, “what, and let him waste his mechanical talents elsewhere? if the kid wants a mentor, i should say i am the best suited.” tracks stormed out of the rec room, and sunny snickered.

    “what were you mumbling about anyway? more nonsense?” sunstreaker walked over to the counter where sunny stood, holding a hand out for the human to step on. sunny sat on the hand for a moment, taking care to toss her sneakers off and dump them in the backpack he carried around. the golden mech was notoriously picky about his appearance, and it had taken sunny less than a day to figure out the quickest way to gain sunstreakers favor was to make sure he would never dirty the bot.

    she swapped his socks as well, and then carefully stood on the hand with fresh socks. he was rewarded with a small smile- just a quirk upwards, really- and sunny beamed.

    “thinking about the eternal paradox that i’m guessing i escaped. where are we going?” sunny held on to a digit with one hand to keep his balance as the autobot left the room and headed down one of the halls. the other hand held tight to his red ‘visor’, special glasses that he never went without.

    “outside. i’ve got no duties, and there was…” sunstreaker continued speaking, but sunny’s mind drifted as they made their way through the halls. though he had questioned the yellow-orange color for the ship originally, sunny found that it often reflected onto the bots paint. for sunstreaker, it turned his already beautiful golden-yellow paint into a metal sunset of orange and yellow.

    a finger poked her in his side, breaking him of her thoughts.

    “hey. sunstreaker to sunny. did you hear anything i said?”

    sunny gazed up at the mech with a sheepish look on her face, “sorry. was thinking about how pretty it is when the orange reflects off your paint.”

    sunstreaker stared at her for a few moments before starting to walk again, a low whirring in the background. it took a few minutes for sunny to realize that it was the mechs’ fans, and that he wasn’t walking just because he wanted to get out faster. sunny, a simple human, had flustered sunstreaker. an autobot. the prettiest autobot, though tracks would grumble and beg to differ.

    quickly, sunny fished his phone from one of his pant pockets and opened the browser app up. she scrolled through the open tabs quickly until he found what he was looking for, quickly typing a message up and posting it before putting her phone away. they were almost outside, sunstreaker having stopped by the door to have a quick conversation with the night guard.

    white-green face, green helm, had a big missile on the side, pretty sure he was a jeep. hound, sunny mused to himself, pretty sure this one was hound. he was distracted from their conversation by the buzzing of his phone. the notification was from the post he had made earlier, and he eagerly opened it back up.

    >aliens dm me asked in cars & transportation 10 minutes ago:

        is it gay to look at a giant robot walking in the halls of an orange ship and think that it's gorgeous how the orange reflects onto his yellow paint and becomes a moving sunset or..

    >rt.66bossdriver replied 1 minute ago:

        this is a thread about car paint jobs, please stop posting here. this is the fifth time. we will ban you next time.

    sunny frowned, leaving a thumbs down on the answer and opened a messaging app instead. it opened into one of his most visited chat groups, but she spent no time in it, instead choosing to close it and scroll through his few direct contacts until he came across the one he wanted.

    sunnybunnyhoney today at 12:32 am

        york my fucking heart is broken

        york they’re going to ban me from the forum if i ask about being gay again :(

    newnewyorkyork is typing…

    newnewyorkyork today at 12:33 am

        bro that is supremely unsexy. i will thumb down them. sending u bro kisses

    sunnybunnyhoney is typing…

   sunnybunnyhoney today at 12:33 am

    :pleading_face:

    york i am asking skyfire to pick you up so we can double date

    sunnybunnyhoney today at 12:34 am

        sunstreaker has a twin :flushed: 

        this base is full of single bots i promise you there is at least one dilf

        there’s also a jeep who is a total nice dude in like

        the cute college nature frat boy way

    newnewyorkyork is typing…

    newnewyorkyork today at 12:36 am

        :flushed: :flushed:

        love how u knew i would be up at three am <3 <3 <3

   sunnybunnyhoney is typing…

   sunnybunnyhoney today at 12:337am

    bold of you to think i know time zones <3 <3 <3

    oh fuck my beautiful sunstreaker is done talking to hound

    hound is the nature frat boy i’ll slip him your number

    gotta go <3 <3

    newnewyorkyork is typing…

    newnewyorkyork today at 12:39 am

        you get yor fucking robot!!!

        sending u sexy vibes!!!

    sunny grinned at the last message, and quickly pulled his backpack off and dug around until she found what she was looking for- a king-sized marker and a large cardstock sketchbook. quickly, he scribbled yorks’ number down and folded the paper into a sloppy airplane, tossing it in hounds direction. as sunstreaker turned the corner, sunny caught a glimpse of hound holding the cardstock, looking confused.

    “so what are we up to? a thrilling late night drive?” sunny asked as the two stepped away from the base, walking until the dirt road finally met with the pavement of a road that had been closed off to give the large bots some privacy and ensure they wouldn’t squish any stray humans.

    “don’t move after i put you down. i don’t want any dirt or anything like that in my interior,” sunstreaker warned, laying his hand down flat so the human could carefully get off. the ground rumbled under sunny’s feet as sunstreaker took a few steps back and transformed, rolling up close so he could get in without having to walk.

    sunny sat on the edge of the seat, carefully brushing her socks off before turning and sitting back in the seat, the door closing behind her and the seatbelt buckled her in. sunny disguised her amusement at the caution sunstreaker took by taking his special visor off for a moment, and using his shirt to pretend to clean them.

    “are you gonna tell me where we’re off to yet? or is it a surprise?”

    “it’s a surprise, so shut it. take a nap or something, we got about forty minutes of drive ahead of us, unless some cop gets pissy,” sunny could imagine sunstreaker rolling his eyes- his optics- in annoyance, “i’ll just say it’s some autobot business.”

    sunstreaker fell silent after that, and the only sound between them was the ambience of the drive. it didn’t take long for the yellow lamborghini to rise above the speed limit, but the drive stayed smooth. sunny dozed off shortly after they started, waking up for a moment when sunstreaker jerked to the side and swore something under his breath. drowsily, sunny mumbled something about cybertronian sounding cool as fuck before he fell back into a light doze.

    “we’re here, wake up,” sunny blinked awake to the sound of sunstreakers’ voice and rubbed his eyes. it was still dark out, though the area was illuminated by a set of tall street lamps. carefully putting her outside sneakers on, sunny stepped out of sunstreaker’s interior and looked around the small parking lot. it was empty apart from them, likely due to the time.

    “we’ve got a short walk before we get where i want to be. stay close, i don’t want to have to hunt you down in the dark,” sunstreaker spoke moments before he transformed. sunny watched, transfixed as always, as the brilliantly yellow vehicle shifted and changed until he was standing at around twenty feet tall- almost three times sunnys’ size. without waiting for an answer, he started off to the side, following a path that sunny hadn’t realized was there.

    she followed after him, not particularly bothered by his blunt demeanor. all it really meant was that sunstreaker didn’t want him wandering off and getting lost, at least not without the autobot having an idea of where she was. silently, the pair continued on the path until the forest started to thin out into an open field on a large hill

    the scene was breath-taking. sunny could see the shape of mount hood farther off, lit up by the moonlight. it shone brightly down on the landscape below the hill as well, lighting up the pine trees that scattered around. the sky itself though, was almost indescribable. it looked so vast and deep that sunny truly felt small for a moment, caught up in the cold dots in the sky.

    “come sit over here with me. hound was going on and on about this stargazing spot, thought maybe i’d like to take you,” sunstreaker had settled onto the grass nearby, and once sunny had come closer, the yellow bot lifted him onto his shoulder.

    both were quiet for several more moments, faces turned upwards to see the sky. having grown up in new york, it always blew sunny away at just how many stars there were, or how the pictures that one would find on the internet weren’t always doctored. places with less light pollution just looked like that. sunny turned to make a comment to sunstreaker, and found his breath taken away yet again.

    sunstreaker noticed him staring at him rather than the sky, and the autobot looked at him from the corner of his optic- sunny loved that work- silently asking what the human was looking at.

    “s-sorry it’s just.. it’s like the moon has come at the perfect time to highlight your face just right- it starts at the tip of your nose and just brings all your other features out. it’s like…” sunny struggled with his words a moment, unsure of how to phrase it for a human let alone a robot from another planet, “it’s like your face is effortlessly working with the moon?”

    it was silent between the two of them for a few moments, and sunny worried he had said something wrong, had upset the beautiful mech. instead, sunstreaker’s lip quirked upwards in a small smile, and he carefully brought up a finger to pat the human on the head.

    “well, you don’t look so bad yourself, squish. trying to boost my ego even more with these compliments?” sunstreaker replied before turning his gaze back to the sky, sunny doing the same. they stayed there for a few more hours, until the sky started to lighten and the stars faded.

    content with where he was, sunny had started to doze off. briefly, he woke to sunstreaker returning to his alt mode in the parking lot and coaxing the mostly asleep human into his interior. the ride back to base went by in a matter of seconds, and sunny only struggled back to wakefulness as sunstreaker carefully wrapped him up in a large blanket they kept for him.

    “ go back to sleep, sweetspark,” there was a tenderness in his voice that sunny didn’t often hear, and he hummed sleepily in response. he rolled over in his wrap, and felt a large metal finger ghost along his side before retreating. 

when he woke and asked if the mech had carefully placed a kiss on his face the next day, sunstreaker denied it, though the soft look in his eyes gave it away. it was a look reserved for sunny and sunny alone- not a look when any other mechs were around.

[callunavulgari]

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Heather Says: So. It’s funny that another of @notbecauseofvictories‘s stories is at the top of my list again this year. Keep in mind this list is sorted by when the fic was read rather than favorites (because that would get real complicated real quick). Clearly there must be something about January. There’s just something about the writing that is easy to slip into, be it a Star Wars fic or a Labyrinth fic or even a fic about Johnny and the Devil. This was lovely and I can’t wait until it’s finished.

2. eighteen wheels on an uphill climb by @honkforhankcon | Detroit: Become Human | Hank/Connor | 91k

Hank is going to die. He’s going to die right here in Kentucky, 53 years old, halfway to broke, and tragically sober. Survived only by a nine-year-old St. Bernard and the 31-year-old twink who delivered the fatal blow.

Heather Says: I don’t think that this is the first DBH fic that I sought out after beating the game, but it is the first that I loved enough to make it to this list. I didn’t think that I would go for a modern au for this fandom, certainly not a modern au wihere Hank is a truck driver and Connor is a sex worker (albeit briefly?) but here I am.

3. Fuck pride (pride only hurts, it never helps) by ImogenGotDrunk | Detroit: Become Human | RK900/Gavin Reed | 41k

After the android uprising, Connor becomes a permanent fixture in the DPD. That’s fine. Gavin can accept that. The dipshit’s more human than he used to be, and a decent detective to boot. Gavin can deal with him being around. What Gavin cannot deal with is Connor’s replica; two inches taller, blue-eyed, and with a mouth that Gavin doesn’t know whether to punch or take between his teeth. The RK900 model has been assigned as his partner for the foreseeable future.

Heather Says: I also never thought that I’d like a fic with Gavin in it. But I got curious about all the Reed900, and well, this fic really won me over. The writing is fantastic, and it softens Gavin while still keeping him believable. Also, well, I like the enemies to lovers thing.

4. Almost Cool by @blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 30k

While filming the Yuma Territorial Prison episode, Shane gets bitten by what he thinks is a bat. Spoiler alert: it's not.

Heather Says: This is actually the first thing that I read for this fandom. In fact, this is the fic that got me into Buzzfeed Unsolved in the first place. I’d seen a lot of art and gifs and fics pass my way, but I was only ever slightly interested in what I saw until this fic came through my inbox and piqued my curiosity. 

5. Pride by @astolat | Game of Thrones | Jaime/Brienne/Cersei | 22k

Jaime didn’t understand why Cersei suddenly insisted on trimming his hair and shaving his beard, but he also didn’t care to fight her on it, even though he’d just as soon have kept the beard: it was bitterly cold in the small tower room with its arrow-slits. 

Heather Says: Wowza. This fic was intense. I’ve always loved Jaime and Brienne. I’ve loved them since the second book, which was read at least a few years before I started loving them in the show. Adding Cersei to their dynamic would have probably been almost impossible to pull off if it was anyone else, but @astolat lives to surpass my expectations.

6. Skin and Scales by Ernmark | The Penumbra Podcast | Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla | 18k

The man glares, and this time, Damien is certain it isn’t a trick of the light: those eyes are violet as amethyst. He wears disdain like a second skin–- or, perhaps, like the scales that he is missing. “Lord Arum?”

Heather Says: I was one of those people who skipped through all of the Second Citadel episodes during my first listen through of Penumbra. The stories were good, but the pull of Juno was too great. A couple months after I finished, I went back and listened to everything I didn’t. And let me tell you. Lizard monster. Honorable knight. Bookish girlfriend. Poly. It hit every single button I had and then some. This fic really hit the spot when I ran out of story.

7. someone you like by caela | She-Ra | Adora/Catra | 5k

catwithabat u think ur so hipster but u just look like a lesbian 27m she_ra @catwithabat bc… i’m a lesbian. lmao 5m

Heather Says: Noooot usually a big fan of high school fics. Namely because I’m not in high school anymore and well, after you read so many in your teenage years they sort of lose their luster. This one was phenomenal enough to change my mind.

8. Sands of Time by @tirsynni | Legend of Zelda | Ganondorf/Link | WIP | 98k

Link awakens in the desert with no idea how he got there, to encounter his worst enemy...except it was the King of the Gerudo, not the King of Evil, he faced.

Heather Says: I have seen a lot of really good Link/Ganondorf art over the years, but never really stumbled across a fic that didn’t have judicious amount of non-con involved. But the Breath of the Wild 2 trailer happened, and everybody started drawing really pretty art, so I went looking. And lo and behold, @tirsynni saved the day with this gorgeous time travel/fix-it fic. 

9. killed with kindness by veterization | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 52k

Goro can't quite figure out why so many people keep acting like they're his friend. (Or: the one where the Phantom Thieves decide to know thy enemy, befriend thy enemy, love thy enemy, crush on thy enemy).

Heather Says: I’ve read a couple of veterization’s fics over the years, and to date they have never disappointed me. They published this in June, and I think I clicked on it mostly because I was bored and hadn’t read any good P5 fic yet. This was basically just what the doctor ordered, and I was really happy to find something where Akechi’s story went ever so slightly different.

10. paper thin by @ebonybow | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 9k

Shane’s new neighbors are a morning-sex kind of couple.

Heather Says: So I went into this one knowing very little about how Sara fit into things. I didn’t know she was Shane’s girlfriend. I’d never even seen her, but I clicked because I like poly and I trust the author. I was 100% not disappointed. There’s also another fic with a very similar dynamic here, which is also aces.

11. damn.nation, now available on itunes by @kaikamahine | Good Omens | Aziraphale/Crowley | 11k

When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell. This, it turns out, was a bad plan.

Heather Says: Elizabeth may have only written one fic this year, but she made it a damn good one. I’ve always loved her OCs especially, so I was pretty tickled that this is 10k+ of outsider pov. Also, demons! Demons are great! This demon is great! I want like 9 seasons and a movie about Amphora, just saying.

12. The Dragon and Her Wolves by hapakitsune | Game of Thrones | Jon/Sansa/Daenarys | 60k

When the truth of Jon's birthright is revealed, control of the North and Daenerys's claim to the Iron Throne are both called into question. To preserve their tenuous alliance and secure her rule, Daenerys puts aside her personal feelings to arrange a marriage of political convenience between Jon and Sansa Stark.

Heather Says: What do you mean season 8 didn’t exist and the show totally ended with a three way relationship between the two most powerful women in Westeros and Jon Snow? Never been a big fan of Jon/Sansa before this, but this is another of those writers that I would literally trust if they wrote a fic about a fork and a spoon.

13. never tell me the odds by @wildehacked | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 9k

“I tried Star Wars," he says, adjusting the phone under his neck, "and it was way underwhelming.”

A shaky breath from her end. “Well, where did you start?”

Heather Says: I don’t remember which of @wildehacked‘s fandoms I started reading first. Most recently it’s been The Magnus Archives (more on this later). The point is, they’d written Wolf 359 fic and it had Hera and Eiffel and it was literally everything that I’ve been looking for since the series ended.

14. Find Me Somebody by raiining | Good Omens | Warlock/Adam Young | 11k

“You left me,” he said. “You both left me, for him. And I can’t even blame you, because I’d have left me for him too.”

Heather Says: There was an Art. The art was lovely. So I went looking, because that’s what I do when faced with beautiful art depicting a rare pairing. And I found the holy grail. Like, possibly my favorite Good Omens fic? Ever? 

15. flirting with fire by @brawlite | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | WIP | 7k

Steve's a cop, Billy's a firefighter. It's not a grudge, it's just a regular old small town rivalry.

Heather Says: Okay so brawlite has written a lot of great stuff this year (more on that later), but I read this in bed at the beach house this August while I was reeling from both a horrible sunburn and like seven hours of mild to moderate day-drinking while everyone else was still throwing back shots right outside my bedroom door. Jaws was playing on the tv and I wasn’t even paying attention to it, because THIS. Long story short, I’ve been thirsty for more ever since.

16. gold, when you find me by mmtion | The Flash | Iris/Barry | 53k

It's not that Iris hates The Flash, per say - more that she hates writing about The Streak in a weekly, pun-heavy comic based on The Flash.

Heather Says: I never would have thought that a canon pairing would make it to my Top 25 list, but here we are. I like Iris/Barry a lot better when they don’t grow up together and spend a lot of time playing the Superman game, apparently. Also, this was really well-written, and sexual tension has never been something I’ve felt from Barry and Iris, but I felt it in this fic. Just. Damn.

17. never gets old by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger| Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 78k

Falling in love with a cam boy named KingSteve isn't the smartest thing Billy Hargrove has ever done, nor is it the most healthy -- but the good choice is rarely ever the fun choice, and Billy is all about living life fast and loose.

Heather Says: Told you I’d come back to it. brawlite and toastranger are a fantastic team. last year was cherry pie and under the covers, this year it’s camboys and cop/firefighter dynamics. Also, I have a really strange fascination with fics where a character has an instragram. It’s really, incredibly strange. Also also, every time I see this fic title I get that one Discovery Channel song stuck in my head. And no, it probably isn’t the one you’re thinking.

18. ways to save the world by @wildehacked | The Magnus Archives | Martin Blackwood/Jon Sims | 19k

“I left you,” Martin says softly.

Heather Says: And we’re back at wildehacked too! The Magnus Archives was a thing that happened to me. This is I think the first fic I read for it while listening, and it was so very close to what we got in canon. I think when it comes down to it though, I still prefer this fic, even if the ending of this season was pretty fantastic.

19. The Denial Twist by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 35k

“This is kind of surreal,” Shane says, taking a sip of his tea. It’s piping hot and delicious, except it tastes like hot chocolate and not like tea at all. “Sort of—Wonka-esque, right? Or Alice in Wonderland.”

Heather Says: While the vampire one is my favorite both because it is excellent and because it was my first, this one was bizarre and sexy and also I read it like only a month or so ago! The dancing was my favorite part, but having dreams to work with made this story fantastically interesting and I loved every second of it.

20. silver in our lungs by taywen | Spinning Silver | Miryem/The Staryk Lord | 4k

The marks had been with Miryem for as long as she could remember. There were a number of them, all the same shade, following one after the other around her left wrist. They were pale as old scars, though they felt no different from the rest of her skin, and her mother claimed that Miryem had been born with them.

Heather Says: I really like soulmate aus. There’s so many different ways to twist them and the way they can sometimes change the dynamic entirely and other times not change them at all is just fascinating. I’ve been hoping there would be more Spinning Silver content on ao3 and running into this while I was trying to decide what I wanted to do for yuletide was a real treat.

21. you got me begging, begging, i'm on my knees by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 5k

Costis has a particularly enlightening evening. (or, that struggle when you're a guard who's in love with your rulers and it turns out you would kind of like it if they bossed you around a little)

Heather Says: I accidentally re-read the King of Attolia and it made me consider ships I had perhaps not previously considered. This was really lovely and just steamy enough.

22. something more alive than silence by pageleaf | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 21k

It was a good thing that six months after the king had promised to halve the guard, he still hadn’t done it, because since then, there had been two attempts on the king’s life.

Heather Says: I want to only type the words AGONIZED NOISES to describe this fic because that’s basically my headspace when I get 21k of a shiny new ot3, but I mean. Really. This is super good and maybe my favorite yet? Why didn’t I start reading this fandom when I first read the books?

23. Timing it Right by DragonBandit | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 14k

The dragon chooses, Mark knows that as well as any boy born in a weyr. He'd never considered what that would mean if the dragon picked someone you hated. He's starting to think that was a mistake.

Damien's gold rises at Whitney. Mark tries to make things right.

Heather Says: This should actually be somewhere back in March, but I apparently closed out of the tab at some point. I never really got into Pern much. I have the first three books, but got most of the way through the first one a long time ago and then never picked it back up. I didn’t think I would like this, mostly because of the fact that I hadn’t gotten into the books, but was surprised to find that I absolutely loved it.

24. Keep It In Your Sights Now by LuckyDiceKirby | Shades of Magic | Lila/Kell/Holland | 9k

Holland travels with Lila and Kell. Somewhere along the way, they reach an equilibrium.

Heather Says: I love the new things I’ve discovered during my yuletide trompings. I don’t think I ever actually considered this pairing when I first read the books, but I am just so enamored with the idea of the three of them together. Like, why did I not realize that potential back then? This was lovely, and I loved it, and I want so much more out of this pairing than what ao3 has to offer me.

25. Charioteer by petrichoral | The Queen’s Thief | Gen & Costis | 13k

Captured in battle and stuck in the Mede capital, Costis has given up all hope of seeing his country again. But Eugenides has a habit of turning up where he's least expected.

Heather Says: Technically this shouldn’t be on here because I only read it today, but it was really wonderful and so canon typical. Gen and Costis were perfect in it, Irene was perfect in it. Everyone was perfect and nothing hurts.

[apprenticenerd]

"Anyone can send me an ask with one of the titles and I’ll post a snippet or talk about that WIP!" The Acropolis, Tacet, Checklist, A Tiny Galaxy, Hearsay, Going Back, Ella Disenchanted, Making Peace, The Slashed Circle, Wake Up, Tenno, Midnight, Heliotropism, Arrhythmia, the one about Among Us, the one about Library of Ruina, the one that’s a D&D world concept. Yes, all of them. I know you wanna talk about all of them. So go, go forth and do it!

Hoooo boy, this is gonna be a long post. Lots and lots of writing snippets under the cut to avoid dash stretch!

The Acropolis - original - length uncertain - 1.4k and counting

im not ready for this im not i thought it would be yrs i thought id at least get an english degree first

omg sal whats goin on

fuckin hell whyd it have to be now i have a chem lab tomorrow

sally-tate macpherson. u never swear. ever. wtf is goin on.

ok. jess. i need u to listen really really carefully. understand?

answer the goddamn question ur scarin me

shut up and listen and this will go a lot better

fine but u need to tell me wtf is happnenig

ok. im going to tell you a bunch of stuff. not giving u advice, thats not allowed, but im gonna tell u stuff it seems like itd be impossible for me to know.

?????????????

i said shut up this is really important dont question how i know it. just go with it and figure out what to do. and dont die. bc no matter how crazy stuff seems, if u die, ur dead. here and everywhere. ok?

This is an original story coming straight from a @/writing-prompt-s prompt about a crack in a kid’s hardwood floor that they fantasized was a portal actually being one. I originally intended to write the entire thing like this, as a conversation over text, but that may not be feasible given a certain world-building detail at the other end of the portal (and the limits of my creativity lmao).

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Tacet - The Blackout Club - one-shot - 3.2k and counting

She closed her eyes again, and there it was. Hallucination? Some new science trick with electromagnetic radiation off the visible spectrum? Evidence that she was actually going insane? Whatever it was, it burned behind her eyelids in bright, incontrovertible red - and was completely invisible when she opened her eyes again. There was just the usual mess of club posters and one big one about someone’s exceedingly dumb-looking lost cat.

Eyes open, there was only Sargent Snuggles. Eyes closed, there was the normal darkness and then three lines of text where the poster had been, wavering like scarlet fire:

JOIN TBC JOIN TBC JOIN TBC

TBC? What the fuck was that? She’d never heard of any group with that acronym before. Hardly aware of the flurry of weird looks from half the other people in the hallway, she crossed the hall to examine the lost cat poster more closely. It felt like perfectly normal paper when she touched it, and there wasn’t even a hint of red with her eyes open, unless you counted the cat’s tacky pink sweater. How the hell was this even possible?

“You’re finally cracking, Bri,” she groaned under her breath, then headed for her locker. She did have to get home. Add another big fat entry to the weird shit list.

A backstory one-shot for my Blackout Club OC Briar, telling the story of how she got into the club in the first place. I’ve been stuck in the same spot for a while now, after Briar’s friend Dani explains the club to her, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the scene’s over as is. Of course, writing the next one is the tough part.

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Checklist - The Blackout Club - one-shot - 1.7k and counting

8. You still have a headache. Shouldn’t you go back to sleep and try to do this in the morning?

9. (wake up)

10. Nah, you’ve always been a night owl, and school starts criminally early, too early to get much done beforehand. It’s quiet, except for Dad snoring. Your parents are asleep already. You can stay up until this is done, and they’ll be none the wiser.

11. Your head hurts worse. It’s getting harder to think. At only 9 pm? 9:30? Whatever. You should sleep.

12. (wake UP)

13. What are you thinking? You have to read at least a little of this chapter, or there’s no way you’ll be able to bullshit your way through class tomorrow. Besides, all of a sudden, the silence feels...strange. Heavier? You can’t describe it.

14. You need to sleep. You need a drink of water or something. You need to finish this damn homework. You need to sleep. You need to sleep.

15. Stare at The Great Gatsby. It doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense.

16. Realize what’s up with the silence. Dad’s not snoring anymore. You aren’t feeling like yourself. You need to sleep.

17. Something’s weird.

18. (WAKE UP) 

19. ...No. Something’s wrong.

Another Blackout Club story and another Interface Screw, as it were, this time in the form of a (very long) checklist. None of the characters have names (yet). It describes another way a kid could find themself running around at night with the Blackout Club, this time by fighting off the Song just enough to run into a club member who could wake them up the rest of the way. As with Tacet, I still need to write the suspenseful part.

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A Tiny Galaxy - Warframe - 4 chapters planned, 1 complete, 1 in progress - 7.8k and counting

Try it if you don’t believe me, the kid in the vent had said.

It was impossible. It was physically impossible. All of this was impossible. Had the Void...? Could the Void...?

The ship was at a standstill. Her mother had tried to kill her, and something had happened. She’d made something happen. There had been no holoprojector in that kid’s hand. Nothing was impossible anymore.

Jhia took a deep breath. How the heck was she supposed to do this? Was she supposed to feel something, some internal guide? Blue Hair hadn’t said. Feeling incredibly stupid, she did a quick mental checkup on herself. Nothing felt wrong, or different - but now that she thought about it…

Afterward, she would try many times to explain it, and fail every time. The best she could come up with was that once she found the Void, calling on it was as easy and as natural as breathing. She opened her hands in front of her, concentrated on that force like an extension of herself, reopened her eyes, and there it was: a riotous little ball of energy, wisps and motes of light and not-quite-light like a tiny galaxy, the Tau system in the palm of her hand, raging.

More OC backstory time! This one’s for my Tenno, a nerdy fourteen-year-old (at the time of this story, anyway) by the name of Jhia, going through the hell that is the Zariman Ten-Zero and what happened on it. This is possibly the first part of the story I actually wrote: the roll-credits moment when Jhia realizes the Void’s changed her more already than she thought.

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Hearsay - Lobotomy Corporation/Library of Ruina - one-shot - 1k and counting

"Oh? Did they investigate further?"

"They tried. Found a few fingerprints, but they didn't match anyone in the database."

"What's the update, then?"

"Reports from elsewhere in the district of someone not in uniform carrying a Zwei sword. They're slippery, good at avoiding us, which would suggest Syndicate operative to me and HQ. Except that in every one of the descriptions we managed to get, our sword thief is a child."

"What? How?!"

"You tell me, Iona. You're the one who went to the crime scene."

"Right... Jeez, if it's a kid, I guess that'd explain why Petrov thought they weren't a threat..."

"My thoughts exactly. HQ has a fair amount of hearsay to go on, but nobody can quite agree on how old the child is, or whether or not she's with a Syndicate. Most agree that she appears to be a girl, tall for a child, auburn hair, clothes and demeanor typical of a Backstreets native."

"We got a name?"

"They've heard Yeri, Kali, Redbird, Suma, Aelfin... No one knows which is her real one, or if it's even any of them at all."

"Damn. ...Say, are you going to drink that entire pot of coffee?"

"Help yourself."

This is one of those stories that turned into an accidental AU when more of canon came out. The idea behind it is that it’s Kali’s backstory told entirely in conversations in which she did not participate, showcasing the fact that a Fixer’s fame is their livelihood and Kali was about as famous as they come, before the whole L Corp thing happened. Of course, the vast majority of the headcanons here got invalidated with a certain Ruina update, so my motivation’s kinda down on this one.

---

Going Back has already been talked about here!

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Ella Disenchanted - The Blackout Club - one-shot (maybe two-shot??) - 1.4k and counting

She woke. Her stomach went through a series of panicked flip-flops as she thought something strange had done it, Dad or a little-kid-nightmares shadow beast had made noise, but no - why had she fallen asleep in the first place? Her butt and shoulder were sore where they’d been leaning on the bottom and side of the windowsill, presumably all night, since the sun was full up over the trees on Old Growth Hill. 

All night. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t fall asleep, but she did anyway. God dammit.

As she unfolded herself from her cramped ball, though, she froze. Under the comforter she’d pulled around her shoulders for warmth, she was wearing her gray jacket, a T-shirt, jeans, sneakers getting dried mud all over the carpet. 

Last she remembered, she’d been in her pajamas.

In which a Blackout Club kid’s little sister wonders where he’s gone when he runs away to the boxcar, and tries to get to the bottom of the mystery herself. Usually she’d be too young for the club to recruit, but her investigations and an incident involving SAO are more than enough extenuating circumstance. Unlike most of my other WIPs, there’s a whole outline at the end of my doc for this one.

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Making Peace - Warframe - multi-chapter - 1.5k and counting

“I…” Iksoh finally said. “Sorna, I hope you realize. I’m not into this. I never - I’m not doing this. Whatever you’re doing, I can’t.”

“I know,” Sorna said softly. The decision tore at her heart again and she almost backed out of the vent, but no. She had to go. She wouldn’t see another innocent crumple in her rifle sights. “I hope you realize. I’m not coming back.”

Behind her, Iksoh let out a long, shaky breath. “It’s taking all I’ve got not to report you right now. Sorna… the Queens’ll have my head for this. Please, please, let it be worth it. Go. Don’t let them take yours.”

“I won’t,” Sorna promised, and meant it.

Later, after her last fight for her freedom was done, on the Steel Meridian ship headed for Kronia Relay, Sorna looked out at the planet retreating behind her and thought of Iksoh. She’d just learned a new word from a Meridian soldier: vaykor tal, the defector’s spirit. Iksoh had let her go, at risk of their own life. They’d had a bit of the vaykor tal themself, even if they hadn’t known it, even if they’d thought it was just some weakness that was bound to get them killed.

“Ranre treri, duf krun,” she whispered into space, a Grineer well-wishing passed down from sergeant to tube-fresh lancer since time immemorial. May your hands be steady, and may life be kind.

This is an AU born of me and some friends wondering why in the heck Perrin and the Meridian hate each other so much in game. It’s about a group of Kavor - Grineer defectors distinguished from other Meridian members by their pacifism - who get to a Relay and start wondering the same thing. Besides Sorna (and, later in the story, Iksoh as well), there would have been Chakh, Beket, and Sydon, plus at least four of the syndicate leaders and a bunch of side-character OCs, all caught up somehow in what turns out to be a surprisingly far-reaching web of intrigue.

--

The Slashed Circle - Warframe - one-shot, probably - 429 and counting

In addition to their written and spoken language, the Grineer have a full language of hand signs. It has its quirks, as all languages do - be careful of confusing it with the Corpus sign language, in which the sign for “to pay” roughly approximates the Grineer sign for...a certain portion of the male anatomy. Among these is the common Grineer sentiment against those who defect from their ranks, baked into the sign just as much as their spoken words. 

The sign of the slashed circle, the sedashkur - a finger drawn in a circle on the chest, followed by a diagonal line - is the highest of taboos to any loyal Grineer. It shows support for such scum as the Kavor and Steel Meridian, enough so that it forms the basis for the Meridian’s battle standard. To sign the sedashkur is to betray your siblings, commit a grave insult to your superiors, paint a near-indelible target on your back. It is an object of hatred and fear throughout the ranks.

She fears it, yes, but she does not hate it, for all her life and into her death as well. It shouldn’t trouble her now, though. It is easy to hide a language, and she burned her journals before she was called to the fortress.

This is a fic about Jhia and her one (1) converted Kuva Lich, namely about the process of said Lich’s defeat and defection, that kinda never got off the ground. Contrary to this snippet, I think most of it would have been written in what are essentially space emails back and forth between Lich and Tenno? I definitely got as far as Jhia sending an audio recording of a bass-boosted dog fart, anyhow.

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Wake Up, Tenno - Warframe - one-shot - 950 and counting

“Wake up, Tenno.”

She wakes. She is - she is Tenno, right? She is a Tenno? Her mind is confused, so full of fog and dead ends - how long was she asleep?

The voice that woke her seems familiar. She might have loved the speaker, in her scrambled past life, the woman in the purple helmet, the one called Lotus in her HUD vision. Her surroundings are a ruin of some sort. Her body is—

...what?

She can move just fine. Her fingers and arms and legs respond with suspicious ease, given how long she must have slept to be this scattered upon waking up, and yet there’s some fundamental disconnect. This is her Warframe, her body, but it’s not her body somehow.

...wait, where did the term “Warframe” come from?

A Tenno, unnamed but intended to be Jhia on my end, wakes up on Earth at the very beginning of the in-game storyline. Since the tutorial has gotten an overhaul in recent months, I may have to modify even what little I have on this a lot.

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Midnight - Iconoclasts - poem - 280 and counting

been anything smaller than been anything

never been anything smaller than

“good morning, how’s miss grump doing today? i heard about that last mission...if you didn’t sleep well i can call you in sick, it’s alright-” “oh, shut up, grey”

there has never been anything

“oh, shut up, grey” “love you too”

smaller

“love you too”

than

me

A very fragmented, stream-of-consciousness-y poem meant to represent Agent Black’s failing sanity near the end of the game. The words of her famous one-liner (“there has never been anything smaller than me”) are interspersed, out of order until the end, with poetic descriptions of other characters and bits and pieces of a flashback involving Agent Grey.

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Heliotropism - Iconoclasts - one-shot - 1.1k and counting

Lily, though she’s superstitious, will have none of these self-important truths, none of these semblances of certainty when really all it is is wishing on Ivory and hoping for the best. She calls for Miss Andress instead. 

A stout but severe woman with ten grandchildren and a great-grandchild on the way, Miss Andress is perhaps the quintessential matriarch: nurturing, selfless, brutally honest. She is the one the people of 17 trust when they feel they can trust no one else. Lily needs the kind of reassurance only she can give, with the authority of ninety-one years and the wisdom of two sons, one daughter, and some five dogs raised under her care.

When Miss Andress visits House 4, she asks Polro and Lily to each bring an object they cherish the most. For Polro it’s his largest wrench, pitted with use but still polished to a brassy shine; Lily surprises everyone by pulling out a tiny, unloaded stun-gun, and surprises them more by not explaining it at all. Miss Andress doesn’t question it. She just turns the two tools over and over in her hands, head bowed, squinting at them as if trying to read the secrets of the universe in the scratches carved into them by time.

Finally she straightens up and sighs, pushing a strand of silver hair behind her ear. Her forehead is slick with sweat, though the night is cool outside. “I don’t know what she’ll do,” the wise woman says, heavily, as if delivering bad news. “I just know she’ll change the world.”

Can you tell I like backstory fic? This one is for Robin, with one short anecdote for each year of her life, up to age 17 and the events of the game. It’s also an excuse to world-build a bunch, lol.

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Arrhythmia - Crypt of the NecroDancer - one-shot(?) - 4k and counting

The creature didn’t say anything, just beckoned to the shadows. Before I could move, two other creatures came for me, sending the other humans - former humans? - scrambling away in panic. One landed a hard blow on the back of my head that sent me to my hands and knees, seeing sparks; the other said “Freeze!” and I could only watch as ice sprouted from the leaf litter, cementing me to the ground.

The one who’d hit me produced a dagger from the inside of its cloak. I tried to pull myself up, to do anything at all to keep myself from getting shanked, but it was no good. There must have been a secondary effect on that spell; my limbs wouldn’t respond. I felt the dagger tear cloth in the region of my back, and prepared for the pain.

It didn’t come. The creature cut a slit in the back of my tunic, then another. Neither one touched the skin at all. I can’t really describe what happened next - my brain was having trouble computing how my arms were in front of me, visible, unable to move, but it felt like the creature was pulling them through the gashes in my tunic, but that was wrong, they didn’t feel like arms at all.

“Holy fuck,” I heard someone say.

The ice holding me down melted into nothing as the spell wore off. I jumped back up, head spinning a little, ready for another fight, only to spot two flicks of scarlet in my peripheral vision. I spun around, but they moved with me.

I think I already knew what they were. I just couldn’t admit it to myself.

You’ve already seen this one, Nick, though I’m pretty sure it was well over two years ago. It’s a pile of old headcanons, some of them now outdated I’m pretty sure, about how Nocturna ended up a vampire in the first place and a little bit about how vampire society works. According to Google Docs, I’ve been stuck on this one since March 2018. Whoops.

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untitled (working title “adult citra meets an impostor bc what is self-control”) - Among Us - one-shot - 572 and counting

“I know. You’re stuck, aren’t you?” Having well and truly gotten their full attention, Citra continues, “God, I can barely imagine. Having to take a weird-ass host whose biology might even be toxic to you, I don’t know. Needing to get to a whole other galaxy, feeling like the only way to do that is by deception and death.” “How…?”

She sighs. “I told you, this isn’t my first rodeo. One of your kind saved my life when I was a kid. Since he’d killed Mom and Dad had been out of the picture long before, he stayed here and helped raise me afterward. It’s how I learned to pronounce...a few of your words, at least.”

“You missed the ‘H’ sound.”

“Isn’t that the one that’s literally impossible to do right with Terran anatomy?”

“Maybe. You think I know Terran anatomy all that well?”

Citra chuckles. “Fair point. You let us find your buddy and fix the ship, I’ll raise Xai when we get comms back and he can try and help you get home. Deal?”

I found an Among Us comic on Tumblr, absolutely ran into left field with it to make a couple of OCs, and then made AUs of those OCs because of course I did. This one is from a future scenario in which Citra (typically orange) meets someone rather familiar on a mission with the crew of the Skeld.

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untitled (working title “library of ruina but they adopt half the guests”) - Library of Ruina - length uncertain - 1k and counting

“And what happened to not caring about others because it’s a waste of time and heartache?”

Now it’s Roland’s turn to sigh. “I don’t care about him. I just don’t want the guilt of killing - look at him, he can’t be older than eighteen or nineteen!”

Raised eyebrow. “Finn will be twenty years old in fifteen days’ time. He is a legal adult. I fail to see why this should matter to either of us.”

“He’s fresh off his first Fixer license! I have years of experience! He had no idea what he was getting into when he signed that invitation and you know it!”

Angela fixes him with a glare that turns his stomach, his freshly remade body reacting to the memory of its sudden, and extremely painful, dismemberment. “I could quite literally hold your soul in my hands if I wanted,” she reminds him in an undertone of steel. “I must do the same for him, following the invitation’s guidance, or my entire plan will be lost, my coworkers’ sacrifices all for naught. Do not disappoint me or ask any more impertinent questions. You know what to do, and what will happen if you do not.” 

Look, some of the people you fight in this game deserved so much better, okay? I came up with an AU concept where if a guest willingly concedes the fight and agrees to stick around, you can get their book without killing them. Finn doesn’t die; neither do Tomerry or Shi Association; all the former employees realize exactly what’s going on with Philip after the Wedge Office fight and manage to calm him down, avoiding the whole Crying Children situation. (And then Gebura makes him collect his jaw off the floor by revealing herself as the Red Mist.)

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The one that’s a D&D world concept doesn’t have anything concrete written for it yet. (Don’t read this bit if you might want to play in my campaign at some point!) Instead of your typical Forgotten Realms planar setup, the world at large would be called the Seven Spheres, each of them different in terms of climate, geography, native species and magic, etc. The First Sphere would be the most “generic” one (to our way of thinking) and the main setting of the campaign; it would also be the smallest of the Seven, its primary continent home to a former empire of dragons that spanned most of the Sphere until its mysterious fall a thousand years ago.

Now, since the empire fell, the dragons and their children have slowly been dying out. Best estimates are that there’s only a thousand or two left in the entire First Sphere, with fewer eggs hatched every decade. The player characters enter a world with pretty typical low-level quests to start with, but every so often, especially if they engage with optional story stuff (this would be a more roleplay-focused than combat-focused campaign), they get wind of changes in the air - a failed harvest here, an unusually hot and stormy summer there, a trade war once they start hitting mid-levels.

It mimics real-world climate change in all but cause. As coastal cities struggle to contend with rising seas and, more alarmingly, wizards all over the Sphere start to notice their magic falter and wane, the PCs’ goal becomes getting to the bottom of this. And what’s at the bottom is...your typical Nerd fusion of science with fantasy settings.

The Seven Spheres are not planes of existence in the normal D&D sense, but seven planets in the same solar system, each with its own ancient god far more powerful than any god in any mortal pantheon; the First Sphere is so named because it’s closest to the sun. These planetary gods are incredibly large and incredibly alien, thinking in geologic time and concepts far too broad and slow for most sapient beings to comprehend. A thousand years ago, the fall of the dragon empire was caused by an ill-advised ritual meddling with the god of the First Sphere’s natural process of rebirth, causing said god to die without a replacement.

It’s taken this long for the First Sphere to feel the effects because, again, geologic time - a thousand years is a blink of an eye in this kind of time scale. But now the ancient earth-magic that had kept the Sphere’s climate temperate and its magicians in business is failing. The dragons, as beings of magic intrinsically, have been failing all along. And now it’s up to the PCs, up at level 17-20 if not higher by that point, to figure out how to fix the situation and find a new planetary god for the First Sphere before the whole Sphere burns to death.

[kinktae]

holy crap!! I just noticed y/n’s family in bitchin is like stranger things !!!! I love that sm omg love it so far btw ♡

YESSSS thank u for noticing!! I have a lot of fun with writing bitchin i do hehe

(warning: literal 80 asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: not @ me reading bitchin’ during math literally SLAMMING YHE DESK

crystalsnowd said: I LOVED BITCHINNNN OMG UR SO TALENTED I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART

Anonymous said: I was going to stay up to wait for Bitchin but I went to sleep instead because today is my first day of school (second year of university) so I decided to get sleep while I still could. Also I read the update on the train sitting next to a random lady and I really hope she didn’t look over at my phone lol. I loved the update and I can’t wait for the rest of the series!!!

Anonymous said: OMG BITCHIN WAS SO GOOD! You're such an amazing writer!!!

jun-sohyunnie-dotnet said: Just an fyi, bitchin' jk is my FAVORITE jk I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Ever. He could stomp all over me and I'd thank him profusely. (And you're writing is absolutely captivating 🥺💕💕)

sugarkinky said: Bitchin just wrecked me for real, U ARE AWESOME ROSE mierda que te amo chica ¿cómo consigues escribir así? Eres perfecta ❤

Anonymous said: Bruh bitchin was everything I wanted and more thank u baby

Anonymous said: Bitchin’ is amazing! I have so many feelings ahhhh!!! I love you and your work 🥺

awkwardaegyo said: YOU HAVE GOT ME SO THIRSTY FOR JUNGKOOK FUCKIN PARCHED D-HYDRATED IF YOU WILL BITCHIN HAS GOT ME FUCKEC UP!!!!!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' is literally my favourite fic right now, it's so good! 😍 Can't wait for the next part!!

gardenofrosesx said: Im in love with bitchin 🥺💗 I think that the song that represent it so well is Wait a minute by Willow Smith, every time a hear it I imagine this fic💗 I send you thousands of good vibes and love and peace to your side! Keep going 💗

Anonymous said: Ahhhh I just wanted to say bitchin is absolutely amazing and is so well written and I’m just completely hooked!!! YOU DID AMAZING!!! Also is there gonna be angst in future chapters BECAUSE IM REALLY NOT READY IF BOTH JUNGKOOK AND OC DENY THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER

Anonymous said: girl, I finally got around to reading bitchin' and I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T READ IT SOONER. it's been a while since I've found a chaptered fic that kept my interests but I was hooked with pt 1!!! I love your spin on tatbilb, and I love the characters you created. I have to honestly say, I'm also absolutely in love with the way you write. your descriptions and dialogue hit me in all the right places. I can't wait to see where this story takes me. thank you for doing what you do!

Anonymous said: Love Bitchin so far!

Anonymous said: i keep rereading bitchin pt. 5😭😭 love it so much

Anonymous said: hi!! I just wanted to leave an ask and let you know that you’re one of my absolute favorite authors and your work is incredible!! the concept behind your rewind series is so unique and interesting and all of the stories have been wonderful so far. I’m so looking forward to the rest of bitchin’ because it has been so so so good and I love the way that you’re developing the characters and the plot. I hope you have a wonderful day!!

Anonymous said: just finished bitchin 5 and ................ i cant believe how ure able to write jungkook to Life and characterize him in such an attractive way it makes it so artistic and aknejdjdj it’s art it’s everything

Anonymous said: Argh the grind is real! I’m about to start my exams too so we can both be working our asses off! Also Bitchin is such a great series and I wanted to let you know you’re an amazing writer!!! The series made me so emotionally invested in the characters and I can’t get enough of it!! ITS SO GOOODDD THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A MASTERPIECE

sanniinnas said: Hiii! Love your writings soo much! You have such a talent with words! You inspire me as a writer and make me want to learn writing and English better.

Anonymous said: I am seriously laughing from the asks that have been send to you and i cannot wait to read the ff because now i am busy :( also random fact, my biology teacher told us aboit Rosa Franklin and i already knew about her, and all i could keep thinking was bitchin pt5 and i started laughing. They thought i was a maniac 😎🤙

Anonymous said: just wanted to say bitchin’ is *chefs kiss* and i can’t wait for part 7 🥺 i’m not trynna rush you i’m just excited 🥺

nochusbutt said: okay but FIRST OF ALL, YES BITCHIN’ YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. secondly, my name is Rose too I’m so, what? omg yes I literally share a name with a legend. quote me!! 🥰☺️🤪

Anonymous said: Ahhh I am so excited for Bitchin Pt 6!!! No exaggeration this is my all time favorite fic, I think ab it a lot honestly. Whenever I see 80s aesthetic BTS edits I think of Bitchin and lots of love songs make me think of this fic too. I’m not a huge fan of smut but this fic is just so good. The OCs and Jks interactions are precious and I’m obsessed with the 80s theme! I am a huge fan of angst so I am ready to cry my eyes out. Thank you for writing this amazing fic

Anonymous said: aight...time to go re-read bitchin again ....[insert /ah shit, here we go again/ video]

Anonymous said: I CANT WAIT FOR BITCHIN

hear-me-growl said: Wait! Bitchin' is not done?! It's one of my favourite fics ever! I love the whole cliche college vibe, the dialogues are sooo good and the chemistry between Jk and the girl it's just perfect, really. And now you tell me it's not finished.😱 I AM SO EXCITED! you've made my day! Keep up the good work, you are amazing 😍

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAA THE BITCHIN UPDATE WAS SO GOOD !!!!! but also Kiri that bItCh y/n don’t fall for it 🤡😩

Anonymous said: i want sleep but BITCHIN

Anonymous said: IM PUMPED FOR BITCHINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Anonymous said: Thankyou for updating bitchin sis!!!! But im so sad because this is their first fight(?) i hope they can talk about it and hoping kiri doesnt talk nonsense tp y/n ok :( but I AM GLAD JUNGKOOK REALIZE HE LIKES OC OKEY OKEY! 💜💜💜 sending 💜💜💜���� to you because you deserve it👏🏼

diortae said: rose I have class in a few minutes and all I can think about is how much I want bitchin jk to raw me what have u DONE

Anonymous said: BITCHIN WAS GREATTTT 🥰 RLLY CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTT 🥺🥺

sunnyoongles said: bitchin is literally so good*chefs kiss* i love angst*chefs kiss* i love drama*chefs kiss* i just love the whole rewind series*chefs kiss*

Anonymous said: BITCHIN’ PART 6 EXCUSE ME STOP TRYING TO HURT MY FEELINGS IM NOT READY FOR THE ANGST

ppampin said: so yesterday i read bitchin pt. 6 three times in a row because it was just so good and now i can't wait to pt. 7 to come out

Anonymous said: Finally got to read bitchin 6, WTF IS GOING ON!? I’m so confused!! Do I trust my so called boyfriend or do I trust “girl code” by my boo’s ex who tried to scare me away from my boo the first time we met ??!!?

Anonymous said: i really need to know something about bitchin 🤔 is kiri a bitch or we don't have feminine rivalry here? help me out rose

Anonymous said: It is almost 1 am in here and I have a morning class but guess who is gonna binge re read all the Bitchin because the last chapter was so good?? 🤔

Anonymous said: I’m so ready for you to break our hearts in bitchin. I live for the angst 😭😭😪

Anonymous said: Rose you are KILLING ME with this story like I'm not even caught up on my favorite TV shows this week but goddammit I still made time for Bitchin' 💕💕💕

cheeky-kookie said: Girl I am sooooo fucking happy with Bitchin' 6. Like I love the small progressions Jungkook is having coming to terms with his actual feelings with Y/N. Also btw, loving the whole Yara/Tae moments going on ;) As always, I'm in love. Thank you for blessing us with this masterpiece

Anonymous said: Rosie !! I just read Bitchin’ and BIIIIITCH you have my feelings on a rollercoaster !!!!!! I’ve never been so invested in a fanfic like this and imma tell you how much I appreciate you for putting your work out on the internet. Especially for free like wtf ! Your writings are some quaLITY shit that I would purchase without hesitation 👌🏽👏🏽 I was wondering if you ever considered going into the writing career ? Anyways have a lovely day 💛💛 -MC

Anonymous said: This ch 6 getting all the attention away from my precious zombie Jungkook 😤 But who am I to say I love Bitchin😂😍 This Kiri better not be playing dirty games we are already not in good terms with her 🧐 And why is nobody talking about the fact that Y/N finally got her event she dreamed of?? Congrats girlll 🎊🎉🥳👌👏

Anonymous said: EXCUSE ME DID I READ THAT U SAID BITCHIN WILL BE ANGSTY FROM HERE ON OUT WBAT MY HEART I CANG FJSHSHDJS

sapphireprinces5 said: I am 1000% not ready for angst between the precious y/n and Jungkook in Bitchin’ omfg i’m honestly terrified and going to buy some tissues from the cvs across the street

Anonymous said: I JUST FINISHED READING BITCHIN 6 AND JUNGKOOK PLS TELL ME THAT JUNGKOOK IS OVER KIRI )))): he couldn’t have been lying about the way he felt for y/n even though it was reheated, right??? I’m SADD. But Rose, you are so beyond talented!!! I love reading your works!!!

Anonymous said: Ok, Rose you gotta let me know if Bitchin’ will have a happy ending, because I don’t know if my emotions can handle an upseti spaghetti ending. Anywho I love you and your writing, everything is chefs kiss. 💗

Anonymous said: bitchin will have 10 parts?????? ma'am u got the power

Anonymous said: OKAY SO BITCHIN’ IS AMAZING AND LIKE— I LOVE (1) DUMB “”””COUPLE”””” Your writing is amazing omg

Anonymous said: Me: already read bitchin completely You: reblogs pt.6 Me: a little refresher wouldn’t hurt 👀

Anonymous said: I wish u the best during your hiatus!!! Take lots of care bby :3 Just wanted to tell you how much I love the 'Bitchin' series, I'm shooketa at how well written it is. Y/N is a really refreshing character, especially as an STEM major myself, it's so relatable to some extent, especially when it comes to appreciating compliments about your inteligence, that really got me, since it's kinda unsual. I hope I found a Jungkook one day then :') jk, but really, I absolutely loved it, you're the best!!!

Anonymous said: hi just so u r aware if u make the end of bitchin’ sad i will cry. that will be on u. my tears will be UR fault.

Anonymous said: i just wanted to say thank you. when bitchin’ came out, there was a part where y/n talks about why she hated her twin sisters. it was comforting to know that i wasn’t alone in feeling uncool or boring. i never brought up my brother because i thought people would see how uncool i was and so i put my effort into school instead. thanks for bringing me comfort and for pushing me to love myself more and to change my viewpoints on the parts of myself i view as boring!!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛🌼

this made me :’))) i love knowing that you can find comfort in my characters!!! there is a little piece of me in all my characters but I do try to make them all somewhat different so that other people can relate. best of luck lovely!!

purplealiensblog said: Yo ily and cant wait for the next chapter of bitchin but i have to share: i got a notif on a new chapter and was all excited and then i discover its tumblr being glitchy again and notifying me on the last one :( i hope you will find time soon to write the rest and thank you for writing i love your work🥰♥️

Anonymous said: BITCH I JUST FINISHED READING BITCHIN IN JUST ONE DAY AND NOW I’M CRYING BECAUSE THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE FIC OF ALL TIME!!!.!.!.! (also sorry my bad englisheu i’m not native lmao)

Anonymous said: HELLO LOVELY AAAAAAAA IM HAPPY YOURE BACK 😩 are u reallyback tho? Hehe im so shookt with the new chapter of bitchin’ has me yearning for more😭 im def a proud bitchinator😔👏 tHANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT BEFORE CHRISTMAS😃 WE LOVE U!!!!💜 we MISSED YOU!! 💜 i hope u are loved and happy and cared for! 💜K

Anonymous said: Hi there !!I hope your doing well ! Taking your time to recover and work on yourself I literally just finshed bitchin to the last update and oof I just gotta tell you what the f How do you write the characters so well... I love me some good characterization like oof ICANNOT JJK IS SO I WANNA SMOOSH HIM IN MY ARMS LIKE PLEASE THE STORY IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING HAHA I HOPE IM NOT SCARING YOU WITHMY CAPSLOCK I just wish to sincerely get my excitement across hahaha I love you boo take care x

nonecesitodenadie said: I rarely send asks but... I'm reading bitchin and I'M LOVING IT, really it's amazing i hope that you can continue it, i send you much love and thanks for your work you're so talented 🥺❤️

Anonymous said: can i just say bitchin' is honest to god such a good good good fic like i'm so in l*ve with it 😩 i've probably reread it thrice waiting for a new update ): i also happen to love your other works so much as well!!

sydney--chan said: Okay so no cap yesterday I was talking to my friend (who also reads your work) about me and my bf n she was like "he loves you the way Bitchin' jk loves Y/N aND I SOBBED ROSE IT MADE ME CRY FOR HOURS

usagionthem00n said: Lol I know you’ve been kinda quiet on here BUT IM HERE TO PLATONICALLY HARASS U???(tbh idk I’m just trying to find a reason to bother you) I-I miss u 👉👈 HOPE THIS POST MADE U SMILE ILL BE BACK BITCH (Um speaking of bitches I still need to join the bitchinators :/) I PROMISE ILL GET TO IT!!!

Anonymous said: HIIII! so, one night I spent about two hours trying to find another great Jungkook story... I was losing hope in finding one BUT THEN I FOUND “BITCHIN” and omg it’s amazing, I absolutely love it!!!!! take care always, have a great day!! thank you for creating such a beautiful story.

Anonymous said: Can I just say.... bitchin is so good! like it’s been so long since I’ve liked a fic as much as bitchin??!!? Everything about it has me like :)))) so yes just wanted to let u know hehe

Anonymous said: IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED W THE “BITCHIN” SERIES YOU DONT EVEN KNOW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

SO MANY OF U LOVIN ON BITCHIN!! MAYHAPS IM OVERWHELMED (in the best way possible). Thank u everyone who sent an ask in, i am the happiest bean in bed rn reading all these asks C:

[grimelords]

The hits just don’t stop coming!

My May playlist is finished and it’s only almost one month late! Everything you want and nothing you don’t from Nicki Minaj, the band that did the OC theme song and Italian Adele. What more could you ask for! 

Listen here!

Curious - Amerie: Amerie, who sang the world's greatest song 1 Thing and unfortunately never had any other good songs, surprise released a 22 minute album called 4AM Mulholland and a companion EP that was 20 minutes long called After 4AM last year. I don't know why she didn't just release one normal length album but anyway, because she's Amerie people weren't exactly eagerly awaiting a surprise release album from her so it came and went pretty quickly. This song though is really very good and sets a really nice midnight smoky tone that the whole rest of the album/EP unfortunately fails to really live up to. I also found out in my research that Amerie is also apparently a semi-influential book vlogger 'BookTuber' and last year edited a book of YA short stories where other BookTubers 'reimagined fairy tales from the oft-misunderstood villains' points of view. She's got heaps going on.

Vipers Follow You - Amon Tobin: Amon Tobin has lost his damn mind yet again. His last album was 8 years ago and it sounded like a hardware test for a new kind of million dollar sound system. Every single type of sound and frequency was crammed into it and it felt like a sound sculture that could physically attack you rather than an album that you listened to for fun. Now his new album sounds like the direct opposite. There's no drums on it at all and it's all stripped back thick and smooth acoustic-modelled textures and it's very nice. This song is a good example of the album feel overall: not exactly ambient or laid-back, but definite night music from a guy who has gone all the way from chillout trip-hop to walls of hydraulic noise over his career and it's always such a thrill to hear people pushing forward in their sound 9 albums in.

Do The Panic - Phantom Planet: Phantom Planet who famously did the theme song for The OC have reformed and released their first new song in ten years. This isn't that song but there was a bunch of people in the comments on the Stereogum article about it saying they were and underrated band and their 2008 album Raise The Dead has bangers and guess what: they were right!

Roman Holiday - Nicki Minaj: Roman Holiday reentered the billboard charts last month because it became relevant again via people putting it in memes where they would play a sped up version of the song over sped up videos of.. anything really. It's not a very good meme but I thank god for it because otherwise I would never have learned that it's a very good song. I also think there's a very interesting lesson to be learned here about Nicki Minaj because she premiered this song at the 2012 Grammys before Roman Reloaded came out with an elaborate Exorcist routine and everyone hated this extremely weird song and extremely weird performance so it was scrapped as the first single and they put out Starships instead. Nicki Minaj seem to me like an artist that has always struggled to ride the line between pop marketability and doing their own unique thing in much the same way as Eminem, and just like Eminem she's eventually settled in to a very safe and marketable version of herself. Roman Holiday is a glimpse of the Nicki That Could Have been that just starts singing Come All Ye Faithful in the middle of a song and does the chorus in an extremely dodgy British accent. There's a good bit on the wiki for this song that quotes Jessica Hooper's Spin review that says "the pop tracks are a paying of the piper and the too-perfect, Dr. Luke-produced songs are her penance for sneaking deranged yodeling ode 'Roman Holiday' in there." More deranged yodelling odes please Nicki!

Cousins - Vampire Weekend: I've never gotten into Vampire Weekend for an unknown reason. I like every song I've heard of theirs I've just never properly sat down and listened to an album and appreciated it until Father Of The Bride this year. I have however always loved Cousins. It’s got a completely deranged riff, the drums sound like their going to catch fire and it ends with chiming bells. It’s completely off the rails and I think the video is one of my favourites ever for just simply matching the tone of the song and the performance.

Lost Your Number - Nu Shooz: On the episode of R U Talkin' R.E.M Re: Me? with Ezra Koenig they were talking about grunge and the early 90s and how music that had 'authenticity' suddently became so popular. Scott's reasoning was that by the late 80s pop music had become so incredibly vaccuous and bad that people were yearning for anything with meaning. He said 'pop was so bad, stuff like Nu Shooz' and I immediately remembered how fucking good Nu Shooz are and paused the podcast to listen to them instead. This is an absolutely great song because the lyrics never rise above linear storytelling. 'I lost your number' is not a metaphor for lost contact or leaving someone or anything like that. This whole song is about trying to call someone but you've lost the piece of paper that you wrote their phone number on. She even describes the paper like maybe you the listener have seen it around somewhere, I absolutey love it.

Paper Trail$ - Joey Bada$$: Joey Bada$$ is a goon but he has good songs sometimes. If he wasn't a famous rapper he would be working full time in reddit arguments where people rank members of the Wu-Tang Clan. He's one of these 'real hip hop' 'lyrical miracle' guys and he even goes so far as to rework C.R.E.A.M in this song to say cash RUINS everything around me :O but this beat is nice as hell and I woke up with the bit where says 'shit is really real out here' repeating in my head.

Julien - Carly Rae Jepsen: I'm really loving this new Carly Rae album. It's not as heavy on hits as Emotion obviously but it's more even overall and has a lot more to dig into I think. I just keep listening to it. This song especially is so nice because it's a great example of how you only need two chords to get something extremely funky going.

Rock Non Stop - Cassius: Cassius finally have another great song! The nearly two minute choral intro is such genius because of how suddenly and forcefully it drops you into the middle of the most boneheaded dance song I've heard in a long time. Two different silly voices going back and forth with each other saying 'rock non stop' and 'gimme the good time', who could ask for anything more?

Just as I was about to publish this I saw the news that Phillipe Zdar died which is so sad! Just as they started releasing fantastic new music! So now this song is tinged with that sort of sadness which is unfair because it’s such a fun and silly piece of music, it doesn’t deserve to hold that kind of weight.

DOLO 5 - Dolo Percussion: This Dolo Percussion album absolutely astounded me. No melody! Just drums! For an hour and a half! It's a complete world of its own and you can get totally lost in the depths of it. Every song has a completely unique palette and it never ever feels boring like percussion focused music sometimes can, it's constantly evolving in every track and never settles into anything for too long. Things just come and go so naturally it feels like actually trying to figure out the structure of these songs would be impossible. There's a few moments where there's a hint of a bassline or melody in a some of the later songs and it completely shakes you up, like seeing sunlight again after years of absolutely thriving in the dark.

Song About An Angel - Sunny Day Real Estate: The way he sings 'running behind' in this is maybe one of my favourite pieces of vocal performance ever. He just shouted himself apart. Also the Genius description of this song is one of the best emo sentences I’ve ever seen: "The song is believed to be a conversation between a guy and an angel (possibly a girl)."

This Life - Vampire Weekend: The R U Talkin' R.E.M. Re: Me? episode with Ezra really put this album into a lot more context for me, because he's talking about being influenced by The Grateful Dead - not musically exactly but in the mindset and the idea of being in a guitar band and making guitar music in 2019 which is an interesting thing to think about. Anyway this has such a Dead feel to it and I'm really interested to see what they do live because as I've heard they're really mixing up their reputation of being a band that sounds exactly like the album and really going for it instead and doing absolutely anything which is a lot more fun.

The Past Is A Grotesque Animal - of Montreal: I've been getting heavily into Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer? this month and it's just so incredible. This song especially as the centrepiece of this whole album is amazing. The mindset is so intriguing to me: absolutely going though it in the worst way possible, getting divorced and everything like that but also somehow managing to keep it twee. The sorts of things that influenced this album would turn any normal person to heavier or stranger music but somehow he manages to believe so hard in the power of twee indie pop that he pushed it to the limit and create a masterpiece.

The Cascades - Janice Scroggins: You know that tweet about riding the bus and looking out the window and pretending the music you're listening to is the soundtrack to the movie about you riding the bus? That's me except with Scott Joplin rags and pretending i'm in a silent film where I embarrass myself in front of a society lady.

The Governor - Nicolas Jaar: I think i’ve probably already had this song on a playlist like three times so I’m going to stop talking about it but here’s my favourite thing this time: It could have just ended and been fine but instead it goes to saxophone hell and that’s what makes this a 10/10 song.

The Less I Know The Better - Tame Impala: My peabrain moment this month was suddenly developing a huge obsession with this song for some reason. Have you guys heard of this band ‘Tame Impala’? I really feel like they might blow up! One of my favourite things about this song is that the top youtube comment for a long time was ‘this is like the cuck anthem’. They’re right!

New Town - Life Without Buildings: Life Without Buildings feels like indie rock from another dimension. This came out in 2000 and for some reason I can't reconcile that fact with how it sounds. It sounds like it should have come out at least 5 years later. I cannot imagine this style of vocal ever working so effectively but somehow it just does. I'm hanging on absolutely every word and feeling it so intensely when in reality she sounds like something went wrong with the recording. I just love it.

Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson And The Business Intl: This is a hugely underrated song and this era of Mark Ronson seems to have been totally forgotten which is unfortunate. This song, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga and OMG by Usher all came out around the same time in my memory and I remember feeling very optimistic for the direction pop seemed to be heading in. Bombastic and unique and unafraid to be structurally different but then it turned out it wasn’t really a trend at all, it was just three great songs. So who knows.

Back To The Trees - Adele H: I suddenly remembered this song I completely fell in love with last year and remembered as a moderate hit only to find that it has <1000 listens on spotify and 300 on youtube. Simply not good enough, please listen to this song! Support my friend and yours Adele H: ‘The Italian Adelian’

Out There - Studio: What’s so good about Studio is it’s technically an electronic duo but it has the feeling of a jam jam band. Their wiki article is obviously written by their management but it also describes them as an ‘afrobeat-dub-disco-indie-pop adventure’ which is very true. It’s an adventure! It just keeps moving on and on through fifty flavours of groove!

Shut Up Kiss Me - Angel Olsen: This really is maybe the best love song ever written! Because it's about standing firm and not giving up on love! Stop pretending I'm not there when it's clear I'm not going anywhere / If I'm out of sight then take another look around!

Through This Town - Mia Dyson: If you ever need an optimistic song to lay down on the floor to then here's one.

Cry Flames - Rustie: I'm on my usual shit about how good Glass Swords was and how that it's a tragedy that this never coalesced into a major movement like it should have. This is such a good sound that just kind of disappeared because vaporwave and everything overlapped with the boring parts of it and the anime chillout version became popular instead. Sad!

Real Truth (feat. Tkay Maidza) - J-E-T-S, Machinedrum and Jimmy Edgar: I love this beat so much. The sort of beat that sounds like it's playing out of a droid that got shot with a lazer and is malfunctioning.

Aute Cuture - Rosalia: me putting these lyrics through google translate: oh my god she’s right this IS on fire

Self-Immolate - King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard: King Gizz are a metal band now and they're writing the very best kind of metal songs - sci-fi about burning to death in the skies of Venus that's also a climate change parable.

Magic Arrow - Timber Timbre: Timber Timbre feel underrated to me. I never see anyone talking about them but they're one of the most consistently great bands around, I absolutely love them. There's so much space in this song, this whole style of minimal production is underutilised. It feels like if Wicked Game by Chris Isaak was about an 18th century cult leader instead which I think we can all agree is a much improved song.

Kim's Caravan - Courtney Barnett: I love this style of songwriting where you just sit on an extremely heavy bassline the whole time and have no chorus, which affords you the freedom to just get bigger and bigger and smaller as you wish. The Drones cover of River Of Tears works like this too and I think it's just masterful.

When The Movie's Over - Twin Shadow: My belief is Confess is front to back one of the greatest pop albums ever written. Please, please listen to it and be moved.

listen here

[gotatext]

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology 

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad. 

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory 

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film 

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass. 

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life 

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered 

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe 

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well. 

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze).  animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing 

[ask-shakespearehigh]

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[velvetfxexo]

The Star & His First Love (pt 7)

Characters: EXO D.O./Kyungsoo + OC

Type: Fluff, a bit of angst

Length: 7.2k 

Warning: Slight mention of accidents

Whenever EXO goes on interviews and is asked about love, Doh Kyungsoo always gives the same, short, and vague answer. He only fell in love once, and he got rejected. Nothing more, nothing less.

Years later, he meets his first love, again.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 {Part 7} Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Part 7 - Sorry, Secrets, Soon

It was like opening your eyes and seeing the early morning light. You knew it was coming, like it always does everyday, you just weren’t sure what time you’d wake up.

It was like falling into the ocean and finally meeting the cool, harsh waves after walking around the beach all day. It was within your reach, you just didn’t want to jump in just yet.

It was like finding the light switch after fumbling in the dark for far too long. You knew it was somewhere there, you just had trouble finding it is all.

Gaining back my memories of Kyungsoo felt the same.

They were just there, tickling at the back of my mind. I knew he was always there, and it only needed some time for him to come knocking again. Maybe it was the trauma, or the pain that came with the memories that took me so long to open the door. Maybe I was also just scared to find out about everything. Maybe I was terrified that I hurt him. Even when the memories were all scattered, I always remembered the feeling. I did like him, I liked him very much. 

Whenever I saw him on tv, on the internet, or even in print ads and billboards, it felt like my heart was being squeezed. That’s him, the guy I used to like. But he’s famous now, and he didn’t contact me anymore. It was hard not remembering what happened during the past 3 years. Did I reject him? Did he reject me? Did I hurt him? I decided to think for myself that we simply just went on our separate ways.

But with all the memories of Kyungsoo that came flooding back, also came the memories of the accident that happened 3 years ago.

The accident that started all of this.

The accident that made me forget Kyungsoo.

All those missing memories came back slowly during the time I was resting in the hospital. It wasn’t overwhelming like the time when I was at our old school, when I suddenly felt dizzy and had the splitting headache that caused me to faint, be locked in the campus at night, have a sudden phobia attack, and get a bad case of the flu afterwards. I can’t believe I was bed-ridden for a week after that.

Everything about that day was a disaster. I could chalk that moment up as one of the worst and unluckiest days of my life. But apparently, it wasn’t the worst, because nothing could top the accident. 

Clara had lied when she said I slipped, fell down a flight of stairs and hit my head hard. I knew something was fishy about that, and every time I mentioned it, she seemed much too eager to change the topic. Now that I think about it, they’ve avoided talking about that topic with me for several times already. I’m not even mad or irritated, because I knew they were just worried.

Clara and Dr. Stiles were apparently watching me over the years because I was still in danger of having an internal bleeding in my brain. Which happened for the first time during the accident.

I also found out that Clara was worried sick the day I fainted at our campus – she thought I had internal bleeding again because I had the symptoms, but thankfully it was a false alarm. She was so happy when I was brought to the hospital that day and they found out I only had the flu and was over-fatigue. She was so relieved that she cried again.

Right now, Clara and I will be meeting up at my breakfast bar, so we could catch up some more and that everything can be clarified. We’ve talked a few times over the phone after I got out of the hospital, but we didn’t get to meet up since I had some conferences to attend to and Clara was booked the past weeks. I’ve managed to put up most of the pieces of my memories together during the time I was recovering, and I only have a few more questions left. Mostly they were about Kyungsoo, but he can’t meet up with us today.

Kyungsoo. I wonder how he is now?

At first I thought I was an absolute mess, but right now I can’t imagine what Kyungsoo’s going through, especially with EXO. Apparently, a rumor was spread about Kyungsoo going out in public and meeting up with someone at a hospital for lots of times this month. I realized that the first one was the day when I fainted during our high school get-together, and the second one was when I fainted at our school. But I found out from Clara that the actual first time was 3 years ago during the accident, and Clara herself got dragged into that mess as well. I’ll have to ask about that later.

But that didn’t stop Kyungsoo from visiting me during the second time, the one where I was hospitalized after getting locked in the school. He came by about three times more because he promised. But he had his manager with him and another one of his members - his name was Junmyeon, I think. He and their manager always stayed at the far end of my hospital room, always politely giving space for Kyungsoo and me to talk. Kyungsoo explained that he might not be able to visit because of his schedule, which of course I understood and told him not to worry about it. I didn’t know at that time that there were already rumors, and that his company was probably stopping him from visiting me. Clara said his hospital rumor died down for a bit, because they saw that Junmyeon and their manager came with him during the next visits. People ended up deducing that maybe Kyungsoo and Junmyeon were visiting an old friend or something.

We thought that was over, but another big news about EXO came to light. Out of the frying pan, and into the fire. The thing now with Kyungsoo and his group is that another one of their members is leaving. I’m not that updated with these kinds of events, but Clara told me that it’s already the third member that’s left in two years. They’ve only gotten famous recently, they have a big fanbase now, so they’re the hottest topic everywhere. Clara said the issues are not good and there’s negativity everywhere. I’m not sure how Kyungsoo is holding up, and I’m really worried. At first I didn’t know if I should contact him or not, because I don’t know what stage we are right now, or if we’re even at that stage. I feel bad that I was the reason he got tangled up in those small rumors. I’m walking on thin ice right now, not sure if I should take another step or back. Either way seems risky.

My anxiety got the best out of me, so I tried calling him, but his number can’t be reached. Clara also can’t reach him, and we’re not sure why. At first I was so paranoid, thinking that he’s trying to avoid me or that he hates me now because I caused the rumors again. Clara kept telling me that Kyungsoo wouldn’t hate me at all because he cares for me more than I know, but it still didn’t soothe my worries at all.

But the next day, a delivery was made to my apartment. It was a simple, white pot with soil and small blue flowers planted in it. There was a pale blue ribbon tied around it and a small note, with only the word soon written on it. My first thought was Kyungsoo. Did he send these? If he still remembers, I said back in high school that I didn’t like receiving bouquets of flowers because I feel bad when they wilt and die. I took a photo of the flower pot and sent it to Clara, who immediately replied.

Clara: So is this from D.O.?

Me: Maybe? I don’t like to get ahead of myself, but I can’t think of anybody else

Clara: HAHAHAHAHA ;-)

Me: What’s so funny

Clara: It’s from him alright HAHAHA

Me: How did you know?

Clara: Don’t you recognize the flowers?

Me: I’m not an expert, Clara

Clara: They’re forget-me-nots! HAHAHA

Me: Oh. Lovely. And?

Clara: He’s literally telling u not to forget about him HAHAHA

So I waited patiently from another response or anything from Kyungsoo, but there was nothing aside from the flower pot. I was desperate for updates so I searched the internet for anything about EXO. I looked like a giddy fangirl from an outsider’s point of view. Aside from the hospital rumors and the news about Tao - the third member who left - I also found out that they were going to Hong Kong for their concert tour. That explains why he’s busy or not contacting me. There wasn’t anything I could do about that, so I just continued reading articles about them and watching their videos. I slowly got immersed, and I found out lots of things about EXO by the end of the month. Clara laughed so hard when I called her and told her about it, saying that I’m now an EXO-L.

Almost two months has passed since I got out of the hospital and since I last saw Kyungsoo. They were still on their concert tour, and I’m not sure when they’ll be back. I haven’t updated myself with what’s happening with EXO because I had business to take care of as well. Today was my only free day this week, so Clara and I decided to meet up and talk.

I pushed open the door to the breakfast bar and was greeted by one of my employees at the bar. I smiled and nodded, about to make my way to the table where Kyungsoo and I sat before, but there was a girl already seated there. I was about to turn and find another table but I recognized the girl as a regular customer the past month. I remember her by her strawberry blonde hair and the face mask she always wears. My employee said she comes by almost everyday, staying in that same place. Sometimes she orders a lot of food, sometimes just a milkshake, sometimes just sitting and staring outside, sometimes staying for hours. They don’t have a problem with her though, she always smiles at employees who pass by and she always orders something.

A lot of times she has a face mask on, sometimes she wears a cap or bucket hat. I saw her face the first time without a mask when I came to pick up the bills. She was slurping a shake at the bar. We made eye contact, I smiled at her and she smiled back. She looked young, about 16 or 17. For some reason she kept staring at me as I was talking to my employee at the bar. It wasn’t a menacing stare though, more like she was curious. I just shrugged it off back then.

I was already walking away when I heard a voice call out behind me. “Hi, excuse me?” I turned around and saw that the girl was standing up from the table and had her hand held out in a wave, looking at me. She smiled, face mask down, then walked towards me. She was wearing a cap this time and her hair was tied in a ponytail. She wore simple clothes, just a white shirt and black jeans. I smiled back, quite curious about what she wants.

“Hi, you’re the owner of this place right?” she said in a small, cute voice.

“Oh, yes,” I was a bit startled. “How did you know?”

“Just a guess.” She smiled brightly. She seemed nice, so I just went along and talked to her.

“Well, thank you for coming by always. We don’t usually get kids your age these days.” Now that I’m looking at her face to face, she seems quite familiar, like I’ve seen her even before she became a regular here.

“Really? Well, they’re missing out on a lot.” she said, and she seemed proud that she often came here.

“That’s really nice of you to say.”

“It’s nothing, the food is really good, and I love how homey the place feels.”

I really don’t know her, but I love her already. She’s cute, and I can’t explain it but there’s something in her eyes that tells me she’s wise, like she’s way beyond her years. I still didn’t get why she stood up and called me though. It wasn’t because she just wanted small talk right? I was about to ask when she beat me to it.

“What’s your name, if you don’t mind?”

“Oh, it’s Dana.”

She smiled after I said my name, like she knew something I didn’t. But maybe it was just me overthinking. I suddenly heard a ringtone, and she took out her phone, looking at the screen. She sighed and raised an eyebrow. I realized I didn’t ask her name yet.

“How about you? What’s your name?”

“Oh,” she seemed startled for a bit but she smiled back, then put her phone back in her pocket. “It’s.. Kim. Just Kim.”

“Kim, will I see you again another time?”

“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other a lot more in the future.” she smiled and adjusted her cap so it could hide her eyes. “Dana, it was nice meeting you, but I really have to run now.” I felt a bit sad that she was already leaving, but I just nodded and bade her goodbye, and she told me she’ll be back again soon before heading out the glass door.

My employee cleared Kim’s table while we were talking, and she had already served me food, so I just sat there at the table waiting for Clara. While I was eating, I remembered that time when Kyungsoo and I also sat here during that one morning. I blushed at the thought, it seemed so long ago, and that was so awkward, thinking back. I was so stupid, he hinted at a lot of things but I didn’t realize it back then.

“I know what you need in this place. A mural.” 

He was probably checking if I remembered the mural behind the gym, the wishing well.

“I liked that song too. I helped with the lyrics.”

I wanted to slap myself, he asked me what my favorite song was from their albums, and the one that I chose was My Answer, and it turns out it was what he sang to me when he confessed to me back in high school. That’s why he looked so shocked and flustered after.

“I’d like to order something else. May I order your number?”

“Why the hell are you so red?”

I was broken out of my reverie when I saw Clara standing in front of the table, looking at me, a smirk on her lips.

“Oh, shut up.” I said, annoyed at her smirk. She must’ve caught me blushing, and I could still feel the heat on my cheeks. She just smiled knowingly.

“I know you’re thinking about D.O., don’t worry ‘cause I’m sure he’s thinking about you too.” she said. I whipped my head around and checked if there was anyone within earshot. Then I put my finger to my lips. “Shh! Don’t say his name, someone might hear you!” There were only a few people in here, and most of them were adults, but still.

“What, is he Voldemort now?” Clara laughed. I just stared at her pointedly. She just shrugged, borrowed my fork and took a piece from the waffles on my plate. “Yeah, sorry, I forgot it’d be hard for you when people find out you’re his girlfriend now.”

I felt my face turning hot again and I just lightly hit her arm. She didn’t even flinch. “Clara! We’re not even—we haven’t even talked!” But she just rolled her eyes and smirked again.

“Again… so dense, even after he went here in the morning just to see you, after he found you at our school, after he visited you at the hospital, after he only went to our high school reunion just because you were coming—”

I suddenly cut her off. “Wait, what? He went to the reunion because I was gonna be there?”

“Yeah, duh, I texted and invited him lots of times before that, but he never replied. I was starting to think that he changed numbers or something,” Clara said, while taking another one of the waffles on my plate. “Then I texted him that you were coming. That’s the only time he replied and came to the gathering.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. I didn’t know what to think, I was a bit overwhelmed, thinking that he really wanted to see me even then.

“Did you know he wasn’t even gonna stay the night? He had a schedule the next day, but he slept over because he hadn’t talked to you yet.”

“Are you freaking serious?” My eyes widened at that. I’m finding it hard to believe that Kyungsoo intentionally missed a schedule because of me. “So was he the one that brought me hangover medicine?” I suddenly remembered someone talking to me during that time, but my brain was half-asleep or something.

“Probably. He asked why you were knocked out, and first I said you were probably drunk. He didn’t even believe it, saying you never liked drinking alcohol,” Clara explained. “He didn’t know about your episodes yet, so I said it was probably a migraine.”

“Yet? What do you mean he didn’t know about my episodes yet? Does he know about it now? Did he found out during the times he visited me at the hospital?” I don’t remember telling about it to Kyungsoo. It was never brought up when we talked during those short visits. He just kept asking how I was feeling, if I was eating well, and if there was something I’d want the next time he visits so he could bring it for me. After that they’d left in an instant. All his visits wouldn’t even last for more than 20 minutes.

“Oh yeah, about that..” Clara slowly gulped, then reached for my glass of milkshake and took a sip. I ordered food for her because she already ate half of mine. Then she continued. “D.O. already knew about your episodes before that.”

“What?!” I blurted out almost too loudly, a few heads looking in our direction. “Since when did he know?” I whispered.

“After our get-together. That first time you fainted.” Clara whispered back, moving closer to me. “Remember that time you went to Stiles’ office after that incident? He went there the same day!”

“How did he– why did he– what?!” I couldn’t absorb all the information in one go. Clara slowly explained that Kyungsoo suddenly showed up after my appointment, and asked what happened the past 3 years; what happened after the accident and how it affected me. Dr. Stiles and Clara then explained everything to him, and he was in shock afterwards, constantly blaming himself again for what happened. My heart wrenched at the thought of Kyungsoo blaming himself. It wasn’t his fault, it was mine.

After Kyungsoo and I graduated from high school, I had an opportunity to go to France on a scholarship and study culinary there. Kyungsoo was so happy for me, he even seemed more excited than I was. At that time he wanted to study performing arts but they couldn’t afford it. Luckily he was scouted by someone from a famous entertainment agency after he joined a random singing contest. I was worried at first, because we’ve researched that the agency had difficult training programs. But Kyungsoo wanted to go through with it, saying we should both pursue our dreams. By the time I was about to leave for France, he wanted to come with me to the airport but he had training to do. I told him training was important right now, and that we shouldn’t be getting in the way of each other’s dreams. He understood, and bade goodbye to me at our house but not coming with me to the airport.

Communication was hard when I was in France, calling overseas was expensive, and the letters we sent to each other always got delayed. Still, we kept sending each other letters and photos. I keep telling him of my experience at the culinary school, how inexperienced I felt and how scary the trainors and chefs were. Kyungsoo also told me about how strict the agency was, how he even had to lose a bit of weight, and how competitive everyone was. He was a bit worried at first because some of the trainees had a bad first impression of him just because of his eyes, but they soon became his friends after.

Then I received a letter from Kyungsoo, telling me that he was going to debut in a new group soon. I was so happy for him, because he’d only been training for two years yet he’s gonna be a star! He must’ve worked so hard, and it made me so excited for him that I decided to fly back home to surprise him. I left in the middle of school break, and my parents were in California so I had to go back by myself. When I got home I used my parent’s car to drive to Kyungsoo’s agency. There were roads that were being fixed at that time so I had to go the long way. I got lost while driving, not familiar with some of the new roads, but I just kept going. I also felt sleepy and tired at the time, coming back from almost a 12-hour flight. But I couldn’t wait to see Kyungsoo. I decided to call him that time, it took a few more rings before he could answer.

“Hello? Dana? Is this really you?” Kyungsoo said on the other end of the line. I could hear the excitement in his voice.

“Yes, you dork! Are you busy?” I put my phone on speaker mode and placed it on the dashboard. I realized I’ve been driving around in circles, but I’d have to deal with that later after this call.

“We just finished practicing a new dance.. I can’t believe it, I’ve debuted already!” he said while catching his breath.

“I know!! I’m so happy for you! And wait up, you’re dancing?!”

“Of course, I need to dance, I’m in a group—hey, why are you laughing?!”

“I’m sorry, I’m proud of you! It’s just that I haven’t seen you dance!” I said in between giggles.

“Hey, I’m not bad at it, I actually have some moves in me! I only found out during training. I was also surprised!”

“Well, I can’t wait to see how you dance!”

“You can! They’ve uploaded our music videos already, search for Mama or History! I also have a stage name now, they call me D.O.”

“What? D.O.? Let me guess, because your last name’s Doh?”

“Real creative right?”

“Uh-huh.” I laughed.

“Oh shut up, as if you could think of something better.”

“I’ll think of something, and yeah, I’ll search for your music videos later. I’m so happy for you, Soo! I really am.”

“Thanks, Danes. We also had our debut showcase already. That was one of the best days ever, I can’t explain the feeling. I wish you were there to see it all!”

“Yeah, I really wish I was there too.” then I suddenly yawned a bit too loudly, and my eyes were getting heavy.

“Wow, okay, sorry, are you bored already?” Kyungsoo laughed.

“What? No, no. I’m just sleepy, the flight was 12 hours for god’s sake.” Before I realized what I just said, Kyungsoo had already reacted.

“Flight? What flight? Where are you right now?”

I didn’t have too much energy to deny it, so I just went on and told him that I was back and on my way to him right now. He was so happy he started shouting. I could almost hear other people in the background from his side, asking him what he’s jumping and shouting about.

“You’re really here?! What the hell, Dana! Why didn’t you tell me?! I would’ve fetched you at the airport!”

“I wanted to surprise you, silly! Oh well, surprise!”

“Where are you now, exactly? And why are you on the phone while driving?!”

“I’m not even holding my phone, you dork. But yeah, I don’t know where I am. Is this a new road? I passed some sort of supermarket and there are like, more roads being fixed.”

“What? Why are you there? Turn around, go back to the supermarket. Wait for me there. You’re actually close but going the wrong way.”

“Okay, okay. I’ve been driving in circles and I’m sleepy as hell, I really don’t know where I’m going.”

“Tsk, you should’ve slept first, why didn’t you just visit me tomorrow?”

“Well I wanted to see you!” I said while turning the car around.

“You’re amazing, you know,” he softly said. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, dork.” 

I swear that I only blinked my eyes a few times, then I was suddenly greeted by a blinding, bright white light and a very loud, ear-piercing honking. I didn’t know where the truck came from, everything happened too fast. I tried to swerve and avoid it, and I heard a very loud screech. The next thing I knew, I was being thrown in the air, hitting my head on the window of my car. Their was a loud crash and my car was rolling several times. I heard glass shattering, and painfully loud crunching noises. Was it the car? Was it my bones? I only realized I was screaming so hard when my throat hurt and I could feel pain.

There was a big impact, and the car suddenly stopped. My body hurt everywhere, and I couldn’t move. I tried to open my eyes, and everything was upside down. There was lots of red.. on the dashboard, the windows. Was it my blood? I coughed, suddenly smelling smoke and burning rubber. I could hardly breathe.

I didn’t know how long time has passed. I was not moving, I could feel pain everywhere even if I moved the slightest. My head was hurting so badly, I could feel blood still trickling on the side of my face. Am I going to die now? Am I already dead, even? There was nothing I could do about it, so I just closed my eyes, wishing the pain away.

But then I heard it, my name being shouted several times. The voice was getting closer and closer, until I could almost hear it a few feet away from me.

“Dana!! Dana! No! Dana!! Answer me!!”

I knew that voice like I knew my own name. I wanted to answer, but even moving my mouth was painful. Every time I opened my eyes, there was sort of a spinning sensation, then everything was blurry. I couldn’t even turn my head to look at the person calling me. I just heard more shouts, and I felt a hand squeeze my own.

“Dana, god no, Dana.. I can’t get you out.. Please hang on, hang on!!” He was crying, I could feel the anguish and pain in his voice. I didn’t know if it was blood or tears that I felt sliding down across my cheek. I couldn’t do anything. More shouts were heard, and I could hear sirens all around me.

“Please help her!! Please save her!!”

Those were the words that I last heard before I blacked out completely.

I felt a hand on my cheek, wiping the tears that were falling. I blinked and saw Clara holding out her hand, with a very apologetic look on her face.

“You’re crying, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head, and wiped my own tears. I didn’t realize I was crying while remembering the accident. “No, it’s okay.. I was just.. overwhelmed.” Clara told me that I was very, very lucky to have survived that accident. After being hit by a huge truck that sent my car flying and rolling away, it was a miracle that I was still in one piece. I had broken bones, but my head received the most damage, and I suffered from internal bleeding. It was fatal at that time, and I lost a lot of blood. But maybe it wasn’t really my time to go, because I was saved. Clara was an intern at the hospital I was brought to, and that’s when she saw Kyungsoo.

“I didn’t know it was you that was being brought to the emergency room,” Clara explained to me. “Everyone was in chaos because you were almost dying. Then I saw him. He was running after you and he wanted to come to the emergency room but of course it was off limits. He was shouting your name over and over, and he was crying so hard. He was a mess.” 

I closed my eyes and tried to shove the image of Kyungsoo being devastated like that. I know, I was the one in an accident, but it was heart-wrenching to imagine Kyungsoo in pain as well. Clara continued her story, saying that Kyungsoo was making a scene in the hospital, and that people were starting to notice. Normally, people got hysterical over accidents, but they were starting to recognize him. EXO D.O. is here, making a scene. Crying for someone. When she saw that people were starting to take out their phones, she dragged Kyungsoo from where he was crying on the floor, and took him to a spare room. She tried calming him down, explaining that there were people outside, and that he wasn’t an ordinary person right now. He was D.O., a member of the rising group EXO. He can’t afford to have a scandal right now.

“He was going crazy, I had to stop myself from hitting him across the face,” Clara said. “But he calmed down when I kept mentioning you. I told him you probably wouldn’t have liked it if his career got jeopardized because of your accident. He even said he was ready to give up everything for you.” Clara smiled lightly, and I also smiled a little. This was the first time I’m hearing about their side of the story, so I urged her to go on.

Clara said that he calmed down for a bit, but when they got out of the spare room, people were suddenly taking pictures. “I covered my face that time with a clipboard I was holding, but Kyungsoo didn’t even try to cover his face. He just stared at them blankly,” Clara explained. Her eyes looking outside the window, like she was suddenly visualizing what happened back then. “They started crowding us. Next thing I knew, he was being dragged away from the crowd by someone. He turned around to look at me, like he was gonna say something, but he was already gone.”

“Then what happened? Did the people follow him?” I asked.

“Some of them did, but the others, especially some teenagers, who I think were his obsessed fans, were crowding me and shouting at me angrily. They told me to leave Kyungsoo alone, they were even demanding to know if I was in a relationship with him! When I didn’t answer, they started throwing stuff at me. It was crazy. I locked myself in the spare room. I was there for hours. They wouldn’t leave!”

“I’m so sorry..” I squeezed her hand from across the table and looked at her sadly. Clara just shook her head. “That wasn’t your fault or his. It was the crazy fans. I was stuck in that room for hours, Stiles was the one who got me out. He was also an intern there at that time.”

“Then the rumor came out on the news? But I didn’t see any article about it..” I said, searching my mind for articles I’ve come across the past weeks. 

“Nope, you won’t see a thing, because I think the agency covered it up.” Clara said, then took a long sip from the strawberry milkshake I got for her. “But unfortunately, the obsessed fans had photos of me and they posted it in their blogs. Some online entertainment portals wrote about it too, but it didn’t blow up because the agency was good in keeping things neutral. Then the scary part happened, some of the obsessed fans were stalking me everywhere, sending death threats and all. It was all starting to get to me so I moved away.”

“That’s horrible! I didn’t know some fans could be like that..” I softly said.

“You’re too pure for this world. Ugh, that’s why I was also worried for you at that time, I kept thinking what if they found out that Kyungsoo was at the hospital because of you and not me? But luck was really on your side that day, no one found out, and you survived.” Clara said matter-of-factly.

“How did you know about my condition? Is that why you suddenly became close to me afterwards?” I asked. I remember that time when I was moved to a different hospital that catered more to psychological problems, Clara was there checking up on me, also Dr. Stiles. 

“I was there when they were asking if you remember anything. You had a severe head injury and they had to check how badly affected your brain was. When they started asking about the car crash, you suddenly started panicking, and that was when you started screaming, saying that it hurts.” Clara shook her head. “God, I almost cried you know! You scared me so much.” I didn’t remember Clara being there, but I remember that it did hurt, and that I was sedated lots of times.

“That’s when we ruled out that you were traumatized about the incident, and had dissociative amnesia. Then you don’t remember anything about high school, you didn’t even remember me at first!” Clara said accusingly. “But you were remembering little by little, and after more sessions I realized you couldn’t remember Kyungsoo, and you felt dizzy when you tried to remember.”

I flinched, feeling so guilty that I had forgotten him. Kyungsoo who was one of the most important people in my life. Kyungsoo, of all people. “Maybe because it was him I was thinking of during the accident,” I said. Kyungsoo was the only thing in my mind during the crash, so maybe that’s why he was the one I forgot the most. I was traumatized too much that I didn’t want to remember the crash, and that’s why I couldn’t remember him as well. “I was back here because of him, and I don’t know if I was hallucinating, but was he also there at the scene of the accident?” 

Clara nodded, saying that Kyungsoo was the one who called for an ambulance in the first place. She also said that it was fortunate that he got to me on time, because if he didn’t, I might have died already. Then I was shocked when Clara added that Kyungsoo was also the one who paid for all of my hospital expenses, because they couldn’t get a hold of my parents that time. He paid for everything, until my parents were finally able to fly here.

“Then they took me back to California with them,” I said, bringing the pieces together. “And I forgot about Kyungsoo.”

“Yup, you did.” she simply said. Clara wasn’t there to guide me when I was overseas, so there wasn’t anyone to help me remember Kyungsoo and all other memories. I eventually forgot about him, continuing on with my life. I felt really horrible thinking about it, that I’ve left him alone for three years.

“He looked for you before you left. I don’t know how he got my number. I sent him updates. He knew you were moved to a different hospital, but he couldn’t visit because the issue wasn’t dying down yet with some of the fans. He couldn’t even see you off when you went to California.” Clara explained, tapping her fingers on the table as if she’s on edge. “I didn’t know you had something going on at the time. I only knew you were close in high school. After you left, Kyungsoo and I didn’t contact each other again.”

“Then the reunion was the first time you saw each other again?”

“Well, yeah, I mean, I always see him on TV, but yes, it was the first time we talked personally again.” Clara also said that she kept a low-profile during that time, she was even changing up her look several times so that some obsessed fans wouldn’t recognize her. Luckily, EXO became so famous the next year with their song Growl, that the issue died down on its own.

“I was surprised that you contacted me last year. You were still checking up on me even then?” I asked her. Last year, she sent me an email while I was in California, and asked about my health and if I would be coming back home again. I told her that I was coming back early in January. Then we met up again, and did some catching up, eventually becoming close friends.

“Yes, I was checking up on you. I didn’t know if you and D.O. were talking again or what. He was really affected when you got in that accident, and he didn’t get to see you off when you left. I tried texting him after, but he never replied. I don’t know why but I suddenly felt guilty and responsible, maybe because I was in the middle of it all when it happened.” Clara said. I really felt sorry for her that she got dragged into the mess. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Then again, she got to calm Kyungsoo down during that time, and even helped me recover.

“Then when we you came back here, I tried asking you about Kyungsoo. I laughed so hard back then, because you said Kyung-who?” Clara smiled, recalling the memory. “I thought you were joking, turns out you were dead serious.” I remembered that she showed me a video of Kyungsoo at that time, he was singing and performing. Then I started feeling dizzy, like I recognize him but it hurt too much to think about it. She took me back to the apartment I was staying in so I could rest. That was when she explained to me who Kyungsoo was, and who he was in my life.

Clara could only provide a few details, like Kyungsoo and I were so close back in high school, and that there was a rumor that he asked me to be his girlfriend but I rejected him. She left out the part that Kyungsoo was there during the accident, because she didn’t want to mention the accident at all, since it might trigger my trauma. I cried when she told me about Kyungsoo. I didn’t know why, but maybe the memory of him asking me to be his girlfriend seemed familiar and important but I couldn’t remember any of it, and I felt frustrated so I cried.

At first it hurt, trying to remember things about Kyungsoo. I was constanty in disbelief, thinking that this member of the famous group EXO was an important part of my life. I had doubts back then, thinking that if he was important, why did I forget about him? If I was also important to him, why didn’t he contact me ever again? There were nights when I just cried myself to sleep because I felt hurt while thinking about him, without ever really knowing why. I didn’t know what happened between us. Clara also didn’t know anything and she felt helpless. Every time I struggled to remember, my head and my heart hurt. The pain was just there. I tried to keep him off my mind, to not think about him so that there was no pain. It worked for a while, but he was everywhere. EXO was everywhere.

I remember when I saw Kyungsoo arriving at Clara’s house during the reunion. My head suddenly hurt, but I realized I was just so nervous that I wanted to throw up. What would I say to him? I don’t remember anything. What if he found out I forgot him? Will he get mad? Will he get hurt? Or did I already hurt him?

But during that morning when he visited me here at the breakfast bar, he already knew I forgot about him. He already found out from Clara and Dr. Stiles. He already knew, but he still went to see me. He still wanted to talk to me. Even after everything that happened, he still came to me, and it gave me a sense of hope.

I just stared at Clara, watching her finish her food. This girl is golden, she helped me and Kyungsoo so many times just because she felt like helping. She never asked for anything in return. It was all done in good faith. I sighed heavily, really thankful for her. She seemed to notice the heavy sigh and my meaningful stare, so she raised an eyebrow in question. “What is it now?” she said.

"Do you think he.. wants it to work?” I slowly asked. It was a question I was scared to bring up, but I think I’m just more scared of the answer. Even though there were signs and Clara kept teasing me, I wouldn’t believe it because I wanted it to come from Kyungsoo himself.

“Danes, honey, I know he does.” Clara said. I must’ve looked unconvinced, because she was the one who sighed heavily this time, like she was so done with all that’s happening. She smiled at me and shook her head. “You know what Dana, can you do something for me?” she asked out of the blue.

“Anything. What is it?”

“Just make it work,” Clara smirked. “Talk to him again, and make it work.” 

I smiled back at her tone. Because yes, I wanted to make it work too.

I took my phone out and was about to call Kyungsoo when his name suddenly popped on my screen, and I gasped a little. He was calling me! Clara looked over and I showed her my phone screen. She urged me to answer it immediately, so I pressed the green answer button.

“Hello? Soo?” I looked away from Clara and her smirk, and glanced out the window instead. I didn’t realize it was getting dark already. Time flew by fast.

“Uh, hello? Hello? Is this Dana?”

I was suddenly startled because a different voice answered. I looked at my phone screen again quickly, and it was Kyungsoo’s name and his number. It wasn’t a wrong caller. But who’s talking to me right now?

“Yeah, this is her. Who is this? Isn’t this Kyungsoo’s number?”

“Oh, hi! Yes, this is his phone. I’m sorry, this is Sehun, I’m one of his friends and also from EXO.” he explained. My eyes widened at this and I mouthed to Clara that it was Sehun. She looked surprised and even said Oh Sehun out loud.

“Yeah, I know you, Sehun,” I said in a softer voice so nobody around could overhear. “Is something wrong? Why are you calling using Kyungsoo’s phone?”

“I didn’t know who else to call. I think you’re the only one who could help.” Sehun explained. How did he even know me? Did Kyungsoo tell him about me, by chance? But what got me was the sound of worry in his voice.

“What is it Sehun? Tell me.”

There was a small pause before Sehun answered.

“I think.. something’s wrong with Kyungsoo.”

✨ The Star & His First Love

🌟 Story Masterlist

[taesthetes]

Hello! I reread tuou today after a while... and I don’t think there r words to explain how I felt once again. Just a wave of emotions every time I read it... and it’s just incredible how 21k words and a superb ability to write can make a person feel. I wish I could convey how I feel to u bc I feel like u truly deserve so much recognition and love beyond being a writer on tumblr. But on a different note, when u write, do u feel the emotions that ur readers do? I’ve never written something (1/?)

and felt like sad or happy bc of the story… sry if my question is confusing. Like if u write angst, do u also feel the heart wrench or r u just like nah whatever I expected it? Thank I for always being so kind when answering all of ur asks. I’ve seen some pretty talented yet rude writers out there, but u seem to genuinely adore every compliment and ask u get. I always feel comfortable talking to u :) Oh yeah, and one more question. What writing platform do u use to write? I’ve always (2/3)

(I forgot what I wrote previously) I always use docs , but it feels too much like a school assignment when I do that. What I’m writing on and the visual aspect matter a lot to me, so just thought I’d ask u about it bc ur my favorite writer on here. Sry the ask is all over the place! Again, thank u for being kind and inspiring me w ur stories. I hope u have the most amazing rest of the day, pick up a twenty dollar bill, get 10 hours of sleep, meet an old friend, and take care of urself !!

hello, honey bee! you are truly making my night with this, oh my gosh, thank you for reading my fic! i’m so so grateful that you read it already but then you decided to read it again? you are incredible, and i don’t deserve such a lovely reader 💗💗 aslkdjfhlasdj it’s my goal to be able to actually make people feel something with my writing, so hearing this from you means the absolute world to me. also, “superb ability to write” and here i am, being a crying and blubbering mess all over again :’) i’m going to put the rest of my answer under the cut because it got long oops

ah, can you believe that nearly a year ago from today, i was writing tuou? it all started because of some silly dreams i had and me wanting to procrastinate on studying for my final exams, even up until the last hour before my exams started. and now, it’s almost one year old!! but also, this message is more than enough, and honestly, i wish i knew how to convey to you just how thankful i am to receive such thoughtful and kind words 💞 my heart is bursting with so much happiness right now 💓💓

as for your first question, there are scenes that when i write, i’m like, “oh my god, that’s so corny….. let’s keep it.” other than that, i don’t really feel much when i’m writing, unless i’m writing for tae. with tae, i get really upset when i have to write him with a sad scene or something where he isn’t happy. on the other hand, i am unaffected when i’m writing about other members. i don’t feel the heart wrench when i write angst because yep, i’m just like “nah whatever i expected it.” unless, of course, it’s for tae, and i was completely torn over this fic i wrote called saudade. i wanted to scrap it because the entire angst plot comes to life because of taehyung’s death (wow, the irony in this sentence). 

with tuou, after writing it halfway through, i realized it seemed like the oc was cheating on tae with jungkook, so i was about to trash it or change taehyung’s character to jimin. but in the end, my friends convinced me to continue writing and keep it the way it is because they thought taehyung fitted it best. (this is also why taehyung gets the happier ending at the end because i can’t stand to see him sad)

and no worries, your question isn’t confusing at all! and omg you write stories, too? what kind of stories do you write? what’s your favorite genre? :D and thank you for thinking so 💝 i love every ask i receive because it’s so wonderful to know that someone thought of me and my blog and actually took some time out of their busy day to tell me so. and it’s only fair that i dedicate my own time too and fully show my appreciation!! ah, i think some writers might be more introverted than i am. i understand that there are people who just aren’t comfortable with showing their emotions and have a harder time expressing themselves, so their responses may seem a bit off putting? nevertheless, i’m very happy that you feel comfortable talking to me!! 💞💞

in response to your second question, i feel the same way as you do about docs! i only use google docs for group projects or partner work for school. i did use google docs for the collabs i did though since it’s so much easier than emailing back and forth all the scenes and parts. but primarily, i like using microsoft word for writing! but i often find myself writing at 3 am in bed or when i’m walking to and from class, and i type it all out on my phone in a saved email draft. it’s so much easier for me to transfer my writing onto my laptop that way because i just need to log into my email on my laptop and then copy and paste the email draft into microsoft word. what writing platform do you like to use? :D

paeyfaiushdflas you really just shot cupid’s arrow through my heart because favorite writer on here??? i must be on cloud nine, thank you so much 💘💘 and you don’t have to apologize!! your ask was perfectly cohesive and easy to understand :D thank you for sending me in the loveliest messages ever, and it’s an honor to give you inspiration omg!!! and thank you for your well wishes :’)

it was an amazing rest of the day because i was free after taking a final today (well, free until my next three finals next week) and i didn’t find $20 but i did find a dime and caught and leveled up a bunch of my pokemon ahah and i’ll be getting ten hours of sleep tonight!!! and finally, i have a break over the weekend from pulling allnighters to cram study for finals. and i actually met an old friend a few days ago askjdfhlas anyway, i hope you have an amazing day/night, sweetpea, and please take care of yourself, too! i hope you’ll have a good weekend / are having a good weekend! 🌷🌷

[lil-loucifer]

a l l t h e o c q u e s t i o n s

S p a r k s  w h y

Send me a number and I’ll tell you about:

1: The most recent OC I’ve made

Fuck uhh probably these two characters I made up based on one of those datapoint-only stories in Horizon: Zero Dawn (one of the few times I felt spurred to write a fanfic this year lmao)

2: An early OC I remember making

Would you believe me if I said I made a Naruto OC

His name was like “Rei” or something and he had a sword and specialized in illusion-type jutsu (I never really learned any of the technical terms)

3: An OC I’ve never used for anything

All of them?????

I never really “write” any of my projects lmao

But uhhh, one that I have literally done nothing for is Jasper Morris, he’s kinda… something??? Not really sure at the moment, but he hunts monster-thingies in San Francisco

4: An OC whose story I’ve got all planned (or even written)

Those two OCs from the first question, their story was already written in the game, I’d just have to take liberties with the details

5: An OC I love

Dante Seraphim (That’s not really his surname). He’s this guy who was brought up to join a secret society of soldiers dedicated to serving Heaven and fighting demons and shit, but due to some “ancient prophecy bullshit” and his boyfriend’s machinations, he winds up getting exiled from that faction and hunted down by his former friends (it’s very action movie-like)

6: An OC I love to hate 

Arthur Morgenstern, the father of one of my favorite OCs. He’s generally a piece of shit. 

7: An OC I love… reluctantly

Daniel, the guy Dante from Question #5 dated. He tried to spur a rebellion within the faction he and Dante served, but due to some lore bullshit regarding Dante, Daniel was left blameless and Dante was exiled in his stead.

8: Two or more OCs who are connected (and how)

Faith, Wolfgang and Enoch are the three Branwen Children, a kind of Moirae that are borne of the eldest God of Death. Together, they oversee the death of gods, ensuring that all immortal deities meet their end when they should. 

Faith is in charge of overseeing the fates of all the gods in the world. She makes sure they all complete their stories; their reigns and their downfalls. 

Wolfgang is, begrudgingly, Faith’s assistant. The immortal world is a vast place, one that one soul couldn’t ever watch over alone. So, he handles surveillance, making sure that every deity plays their part, and nothing more. 

And when the gods try to rebel, when they grow too self-absorbed in their own “brilliance” they believe they should never die? They send in Enoch, the Reaper. Enoch is the most active of the Three Children, and the only one of them who has actually killed gods. Her role is to slay any deity that chooses not to die, which, admittedly, doesn’t happen often. Enoch is also the most rebellious of the Three Children, being the youngest. She actively lives in the mortal world, choosing to live amongst the puny mortals whose watchers she is sworn to slay. Enoch was actually the first sibling to give herself a name, for her convenience in the mortal world.

Given their elusive positions, the Branwens are more or less omnipresent in my fictional worlds, and are a prominent (albeit rarely-mentioned) part of a larger shared universe I’ve been writing. 

9: An OC I made to fit into another universe

Wayland Smith

10: A universe I made to fit my OCs

For the guy I’m gonna talking about in question #13, I made a post-apocalyptic setting that is set maybe 50-100 years after a world-ending nuclear war. 

11: An OC based off part of myself

I kinda-sorta have an OC that’s basically Sitcom!Me with exaggerated traits, like his catch phrase or whatever is just “I can give about three fucks about anything at any given time” and he’s hella apathetic but he actually cares a lot and he’s just too tired and has weird ways to show it

12: An OC based off part of someone I met

Aurelio Morgenstern’s appearance is lowkey based off an old friend of mine. 

13: An OC inspired by something completely unexpected

Okay so get this:

I have an OC who’s part of a lost order dedicated to maintaining peace in an apocalyptic wasteland--through fear. To cultivate that kind of fear, this order would style themselves after Death; the Grim Reaper, specifically. They wore all black and wielded scythes, as well as commanding a fierce arsenal of magic and custom firearms.

But I didn’t think of that shit at the time. You know what I thought up? The aesthetic. Black clothes and a wide-brimmed hat for keeping out the sun. 

Especially the hat.

You wanna know WHY THE HAT?

Because I was waiting in line outside the DMV on a bright, sunny-ass day, and I started daydreaming with the thought “Wow, I could really do with a cowboy hat.” 

14: The roughest backstory I’ve given an OC

There was this character I made, and he’s a bi, trans man who grew up in a really homophobic/transphobic house with an abusive.... everyone, really. He didn’t do anything about it until about a year after graduating high school, when he moved in with a family friend who was actually a decent person. 

15: The least painful backstory I’ve given an OC

My Hogwarts Mystery character was raised by a loving pair of parents who started to keep him on a tighter leash after his brother, Jacob, went missing. 

16: The most difficult OC for me to write (and why!)

All of them?????

I can’t write????????

17: The easiest OC for me to write (and why!)

Lua the Crow, purely because everything they do is more or less whatever affectionate thing I have on mind.

18: The OC I’d most like to fight

Lua because they’d go easy on me

19: The OC I’d most like to befriend

Francis Pendleton, because he’s a really chill dude who’d probably be a great father figure or something

20: The OC I’d probably have a crush on

Uhh this superhero OC I made up, her hero name is “Morningstar.” She just kinda has that kind of personality, I guess??

21: The OC most likely to end up in a wacky [freeze frame][record scratch] “you’re probably wondering how I got here” scenario

A currently-unnamed demon hunter OC who lives in San Francisco, and that moment is how he wound up dating Possibly Satan. 

22: An OC who acts as an antagonist

Samuel Eldest, a cult leader (or something) who clashes with Aurelio Morgenstern when he brings a new, demonic force into Aurelio’s territory. 

23: An OC who acts as a hero

My mcfucking superhero OCs???

24: An OC who acts as a supporting character

Adelina, Enoch Branwen’s very mortal girlfriend. 

25: An OC I’ve changed a LOT

Dante Seraphim

Lemme tell you he’s been through a lot of changes--started off as personified Death’s son, one who was hella 2000′s goth and was literally called “Lucifer Crescent,” THEN he became part of an angel/demon war and was renamed “Dante,” but he and several other kids took on the names of dead Angels to carry on an ancient tradition of passing on their power, and NOW he’s part of that second story, but heavily revised in that it’s no longer in a fantasy world and they now wage a shadow war across a low fantasy environment. 

26: An OC that I’m still working on

That Reaper guy from question #13

27: Someone else’s OC that I really admire

A friend’s self-insert OC named “Belle the Reaper” and the audacity they have to ship this character with their goddess of time. 

28: A common trait or pattern in my OCs

Sarcastic Angsty White Bois™

29: Something that I haven’t really explored with any of my OCs

Real social issues because I don’t know shit and will most likely get something fucked up

30: [make your own OC-related question and send it to me!]

??????????

[solienna]

//BARGES INTO YOUR ROOM, THE VIDEO GAME ASK!!!! I name, Mass Effect (any of them), Dragon Age (any of them), Fallout 4, Portal, Legend of Zelda Wind Waker, Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door, Assassin's Creed 2, Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney, and Harvest Moon DS!!! (and yes, i did just hit you with all of my fave games why do you ask) (okay not all of them, i didnt mention folklore but it's obscure so i doubt you've even heard of it) also, also bc you make jokes about it all the time, Skyrim

thank u meander im crying very much ur the best, under a read more bc video games are my lifeblood

mass effectnever played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

ok so as u know i beat mass effect 1 like. three days ago and all i have to say is AJDHGASDG!! DEFINITELY A FAVORITE!! WHERE HAS THIS GAME BEEN ALL MY LIFE!!! WHY DID I HESITATE FOR SO LONG BEFORE PLAYING IT!!! I WAS MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH I LOVE IT!! ALL THIS LORE AND THESE STRONG DIVERSE CHARACTERS!!! WTF THE FUCK!!!

rn i am in the process of playing me2 (im like 20 hrs in but i’ve done like nothing bc i am a completionist gamer and spend all my times stripping planets bare of their resources before leaving forever, and also just walking around everywhere looking at shit and messing around with my crew and avoiding the main questline) and oh my gosh!!!! also definitely a favorite im so in love with this game!!! its heartbreaking and genuinely funny and ridiculous and DID I MENTION THE COMBAT SYSTEM I LOVE IT. also any games that give u the option to dance are 10/10 in my book. also when garrus laughed once i died.

in summary mass effect is a great found family simulator. however there’s this really persistent bug where ppl keep talking to me about these reapers and their followers the goths geths, its kinda distracting me from the main purpose of the game, which is to gather up as many ragtag sad friends as u can. hopefully theyll remove all that other stuff in the next patch

dragon agenever played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

dragon age origins is definitely one of my favorite games ever of all time, i BELIEVE it was my first bioware game and oh my GOD it was so good. the lore. the LORE. the CHARACTERS. the DRAMA the SCANDAL. it was so good i wanna cry. i was taken aback by how real all the companions were and how u could actually talk to them…. wild

dragon age 2 is no match for origins in my book but i still enjoyed it a lot, gotta give that one a good, the combat was definitely a lot simpler and a lot more fun and look. im a typical gamer i love a good fight, i love spamming buttons and having shit work out somehow. also a good cast!

i played like 150 hours of da:i with just one inquisitor and yet i have no memories of this game. i remember nothing, i know cole was there and i was real shook bc i read the dragon age books (i was super into dragon age like?? two years ago i think) and then varric was there and also i fought a lot of dragons. dorian carried us. my dream team was me, blackwall, varric, and dorian we had a lot of fun. alistair died. ummm i spent a lot of time standing in the tavern listen to the lady with the nice voice sing. gotta give this game a solid good, i don’t remember anything abt this game but i sure had a lot of fun playing it, whatever it was

fallout 4

never played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

ok so i have like 300+ hrs into this game bc i keep starting over with new sole survivors and all of them are named washington. i still havent beaten this game. if u had asked me what my opinion of this game was like six months ago i wouldve been like this is a favorite for sure but now its like…. eh…. i play it for an hour every once in a while but it’s honestly started to bore me a little… like don’t get me wrong i very much enjoyed this game!!! (i wouldnt have 300+ hrs invested into it if i didn’t like it) but the game doesnt really have much replayability to me… sorry todd. thanks for preston and deacon and nick i love them a lot but other than that this game doesn’t really pull me in like it used to

portalnever played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

OK LOOK. i do own this game and also portal 2. and i do want to play them. im just lazy. EVENTUALLY ONE DAY i will get around to playing this game, it looks like a ton of fun, even tho im not too big into puzzle solving. fair warning my list of games i want to play is like a mile long bc i just keep replaying the games i have LMAO

legend of zelda wind waker/paper mario the thousand year door/phoenix wright ace attorney/harvest moon DS

never played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

ok i am lumping all of these together bc 1) i’ve never played them and 2) i don’t have much of an interest in playing them unfortunately, unless someone persuaded me to try them out i wouldnt really spend time on them, im too busy replaying games ive already played 1000 times

assassins’ creed 2

never played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

OK I WILL ADMIT IT. i am a liar and a fraud. the only AC games i’ve ever played are black flag, rogue, and syndicate. no i don’t have a clue what’s going on in the real world with the animus or w/e and yes i had lot of fun with the parkour mechanics and killing ppl in impossible ways. AC1 and 2  and whatever games come after it are other games that are on my ever-growing list of games i want to play, i started AC1 like two years ago but then totally forgot about it BUT YES. I DO WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME. EVENTUALLY

skyrim

never played | want to play | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

i have never heard of this game in my life i’m not really sure what you’re talking about- *trips* *thousands of hours spent playing this game spill from pockets* fuck those aren’t mine i swear i’m just holding them for a friend i- *slips on a pile of my skyrim OCs* fu ck no they’re not mine i’ve never heard of this game i just- *216387213 unfinished skyrim fanfics fall out as i fall to my knees, desperately trying to pick them up* hang on a sec jUst LISTEN

[historic-homosexual]

Pls pls pls do all the oc questions!!

jokes on you I was already doing that and planned on just putting it out there but now I can use this as an excuse,,hah someone wants to know thisI’m sorry for how long some parts got, I noticed how much I wrote on Célestin and tried to keep it down from then but that didn’t completely work,,,And actually I dare/tag you to do these too. I know that ain’t normal proceedure w ask memes but I do a thing called what I want

1. Your first OC ever?

I think my first oc was your typical mary sue, named Angel, whom I used for basically every fandom I got in then. I’ve since reworked her because I couldn’t leave her the mess she was lmao

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

Not really, tho I have to admit I have some that I’m especially fond of, but that’s still like half of my ocs

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Not a full character but a friend of mine made the design for Charlie years ago

4. A character you rarely talk about?Sadly that’d also be a couple of em, for example Eleonore or Otávio or my monster ocs

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

That’s a difficult one…Brist is pretty worked out and good so maybe him, or Eligos bc I’m proud of their design

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

I’d never noticed it before this but Seth and Elijah oh geez

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?I have a bunch of ocs that are part of my own work, which I refer to as ‘Golden Empire’

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

I privately rp w @spokoystviye, namely our ocs Regulus and Adelais. We used to do Gregory and Jason too but ever since we worked on the time it plays in that’s stopped lmao.

So Regulus it is: Regulus Whitlock, living in France during the French Revolution. He’s originally from England, where he grew up the son of a Blacksmith. Regulus is exceptionally tall for the time he lived in, very soft hearted and believes in “dressing like a gentleman,behave like a bastard”. Most part of his life he works as a Blacksmith from his shop, that he took over from his father after the man died. Regulus took on a ‘side job’ as a hunter, smart, a good shot and with a great need to help people. But he’s of too good nature, ending up taking in a Vampire of all things, despite better judgement, not able to leave the woman to her death.

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

I don’t think I could give an oc to a random person, that is one that I’ve worked w a lot. Just making a design and such for the purpose of giving it away in the first place would be fine

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

Gerwyn is relatively complicated to draw solely because his base design is full body armor lmao. Besides him maybe Susanna and Nathanael since their design is hard to make it look accurate especially without colouring it

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

Seth, definitely, he’s the most positive and sweet of all my Ocs

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

Both @bruhchantite and @spokoystviye have ocs I love, like Bruhs Arcana Oc Nien, whom I like a lot, and Leander has Adelais who’s a sweet baby deserving protection [also Adelean is hot shit]

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? There are quite a few I’d say lmao

But most of them I’d consider more violent than troublemaker, so Jonathan probably (whos still violent but who was a troublemaker even before that)

14. Tragic Backstory

Gregory and Annora have a tragic backstory as well but I’m gonna go w Célestin rnTw: Rape, Abuse, Homophobia

Célestin Villeneuve grew up in France to very religious parents with strict views.  Célestins mother had unhappily carried out Célestin, having gotten pregnant at a very young age. Both her and her husband being strong believers, they considered abortion a sin and kept the child. Her own parents threated it like a shameful secret, making their daughter and her boyfriend marry, despite them being 16 at the time. They moved to the next town, where they were unknown and had everyone belive that they were both adults, their child concieved properly, after marriage and willingly.

Not having finished their education properly, Célestins father lied in order to get a job, his wife mroe than willing to keep up his tales, in fear of being ridiculed by the community. Appearance and what others thought of them became the most important thing to Célestins mother early on, drilled into her by her own parents.Célestins father craved to be popular and keep his image in the town.

They were active in church and his father insisted on going to every sunday mass, prayers before lunch and his child confessing his sins to him.Punishment often consisted of simple bread and cheese and water for meals, a swat ont he back of his head if it was particularly bad in his parents eyes.

Célestin had always been a perfect child, smart and following his parents wishes, sitting in church, firm in prayer.He considered his parents treatment right, and, as he kept from sin, was confident it would never get any worse.However, he was gravely mistaken.As he got older, Célestins parents would get worse in their punishment, afraid their child would sully their image, as they themselves had, with the early pregnancy.

Things reached a peak when Célestin discovered he was gay. Knowing it to be a sin, he told his mother, asking her for help to free him of this condition, telling her he’d accept the punishiment if it’d only make him right in God’s eyes again.

His mother was shocked, less so because of her sons sexuality, but more so because she had seen the violence raging in her husband and was well aware that he would no longer keep the punishment to a few slaps.Talking to her husband that night, when Célestin was asleep, she attempted to sway her husband, who was as she had expected, beyong angered.

He however knew of her fear for being casdt out of the community and explained that not punishing and correcting such behaviour would result in Célestin believing it was normal and flaunting it around for everyone to see. Riddled by fear, Célestins mother accepted her husbands preposition as what would happen to her son.

While Célestin had expected punishment, nothing would have prepared him for what would come for him as his father would drag him out to the field each day anew, whipping him until his back was bleeding. His wife was fobidden to tend to her sons wounds and was often standing by staring into nothing while her son begged for forgiveness.

Célestin learned how to poorly tend to his own injuries, some getting infected at the lack of proper treatment. To his own shock no beating did help to cure him as he had desperately hoped to happen to stop the violent treatment. Unsure where to turn, and why God would have him suffer like this, despite all attempts and prayer, Célestin went to the church to confess and ask a pastor for help.The man was shocked and appalled at what he heard and even more so at the fact that Célestin was under the impression that this was right.

For the first time Célestin was told that he was treated terribly, and that he had done nothing to deserve this. He went away with odd feelings in his mind and the first seeds of doubt. Attempting to help, the pastor went to talk to Célestins parents a few days later, when Célestin himself was in school, trying to sway them in their ways, telling them that they surely had to know that he had to report such behaviour.

When Célestin returned from school, he found his mother crying adn his father angrier than hed ever been. They’d not taken the pastors warning to take their son away to their heart, seeing their fault in their actions but instead saw nothing but the ridicule they were about to face, as well as the authorities coming up. Célestins father feared to loose his job, and face, more than he feared for his sons life. He beat Célestin again before dragging him into his parents room, where a middle aged woman was waiting that was known throught the town for offering any kind of intercourse for the right money.

Saying that there was only one way to truly fix him, Célestins father forced his son to have sex with the prostitute, watching with a belt in hand to make sure the intercourse was actually carried out. During it he would often ask his son if he was still filthy, wanting to do this with ofther men and woulod generally insult and hummiliate him. Whenever his son would answer with crying or begging his father to stop this, he would simply pay the woman for yet another round.

When it was finally over, Célestin was left laying in his parents bed, listening as his parents were having dinner in the kitchen.Filled with shame he declined everything when the authorities came knocking at their door the next day, nodding of his fathers claim that he had made it all up.

The pastor attempted to speak to Célestin but when he asked to see the boy the evening, he and Célestins parents found his room empty.Célestin had ran away.

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

Gosh I love it I wish I could do it more. I feel if u actually have some else to chat ocs with it leads to ur oc getting more and more fleshed out

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

I think Helva would take the cake on that one

17. Any OC OTPs?

Regulus/Adelais, Caspian/Nadia, Hunter/Piper and Araan/Dorian,,,,If I can be honest, I hardly have the amount of Oc ships as I would lmao,,,my ocs do function on their own but there are so I’d just love to ship lmao

18. Any OC crackships?

Not really any, I shortly thought about just taking a random oc from u/Leander and pairing them randomly w one of mine for the laughs of it.But then I felt it would maybe be inapropriate to do that lmaoo

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

While all my Ocs mean a lot to me I chose Brist for this because he’d the first Oc I made for a game, fallout new vegas, which I love a lot. He pretty much develpoed all by himself while I was playing, and is really fleshed out now. I’m super fond of him somehow.Here are a couple of things about him:

Brist was born 2225, the son of  caravaneers, somewhere on their travels and therefore does not know where exactly he was born. Deciding that raising a child at such young age while traveling would not work well, they settled near the ruins of Ashton and Hopeville, where a small community was build.Brist spend his childhood in the Divide and soon began traveling alongside his father, keeping the community flourishing as the only connection between it and the rest of the land. When the Divide and the road paved by Brist came to attention of the NCR, they cooperated to protect the supply line and keep it open for other traders. With that done and his home taken care of, Brist left the Divide to travel further, exploring New California as a drifter.  

Brist came to enjoy the life of a Drifter, occasionally taking small jobs and living from day to day up until returning to the divide a last time, making a delivery that would cause his home to be destructed.Not knowing of what had happened, Brist returned into the Mojave desert, further traveling New California before joining the Mojave Express.2281 he was hired to deliver another important package, once more without knowledge of what it would cause, and was shot in the head by Benny in Goodsprings.

He doesn’t sleep too much, and he’s not at all picky about where. He prefers having some sort of mattress but if he’s tired and there’s none he’ll sleep on the floor.

Brist is an Courier and Explorer at heart, determined to finish his jobs, power through them. Even if that might result in physical pain or poisoning. Brist has the constant need to be on his feet all the time, traveling, looking around or doing things for people and he often does not sleep, eat, shower or talk during these travels. Sometimes he’s so focused on the road ahead that he misses the explosive traps right in front of him.

He notices that he is doing this, and he can sometimes be heard muttering to himself how he’ll see a doctor in the next town and so on, but those good intentions always get lost along the way. Brist hates missing traps and such, but he doesn’t quite see that those thigns could easily be avoided if he’d be more careful.

He is suffering from Radiation Poisoning, he could easily be treated for it at the early stages but he literally does not care enough to see a doctor or get some RadAway. He keeps delaying it in favour of missions and traveling and stuff

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Charlie sings, more for herself actually, than for anyone else but she’s quite good at it. She’s constantly humming when she’d focusing on something and sometimes doesnt even notice when she starts singing along to songs. She simply loves music a lot and lets herself be taken along by the songs. Has no real preference for genre but she likes happy go lucky songs most

21. Your most artistic OC

Richard aka Dick. He’s at tattoo artist and leaves cool little doodles everywhere. Especially great with colours. The most colorful the better

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

There aren’t really any, since my ocs arent popular or anything. Someone did sometimes, but it was more forcing their ideas or their own thoughts w their own ocs on mine,,,

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Gregory, as you see below has changed quite a bit. While the overall design is the same, now he looks  as nasty as I imagine him to be, a lot less soft.Character-wise my ocs didn’t change drastically

Only the fact, in Gregory’s case, that he got more fleshed out, and the time he lives in changed, to the 50sI’m trying to not write to many long things here lmao.Especially since just u and Leander will read this and Leander knows himst and Regulus already.

Dr Gregory Thomas Landon was born 1911 to Sybill and Raphael Landon. While the first world war almost went by without having any impact on the family, Raphael was pulled into war when America joined in 1917 and died in combat.

With her husband gone and her son just 6 years old, Sybill took a job as a secretary to make sure of her and her sons survival.Sybill had grown up the youngest child (of those who had survived) out of 5, always too smart and abitious for a woman in her time. Her father was Doctor and she would often sneak into his office room to look through notes and books on human anatomy and patient records.She had written down what she believed could be links between illnesses,behaviour and anatomy, finding the greatest interest in the still very new field of psychology. Of course her father wanted to hear nothing of it, Sybills oldest brother being the one ment to inherit their fathers office and place as a doctor.

But Sybill had never stopped being interested in psychology, following the work of Edward Titchner, whod brought psychological studies to America, as well as the rise of ‘structuralism’ ,as close as possible.Unlike Titchner, who excluded the study of children, Sybill wondered if it was the childs mind that should be studied to find the roots of all things. Perhaps it was bitterness above all that drove her to the treatment of her son in the following years. Sybill had lived her life knowing that she had no possibility whatsever to porperly study psychology and work on her theories. But hearing about Margaret Washburn, the woman that had been able to become a psychologist, Sbyill turned anger and disappointment to her son, whom she viewed as the reason she had to stay at home and be a mother isntead of trying to achieve what Ms Washburn had.

Quickly she realized however that she did not need a title or be thought by a Doctor to test her theories, deciding to conduct them on her son, who had kept her from fullfilling her dream. While Gregory was not the perfect research object, already six years and not a infant, who Sybill believed to be the ideal stage, she attempted to see if continous infliction of pain would change her sons behaviour.

She was especially curious if such pain inflicted on the brain would influence Gregorys personality, perhaps causing of curing misbehaviours and such. Gregory would grow up very intelligent but withdrawn, hardly finding kinship with people his age, spending his time reading. Like his mother before him he became interested in the human mind and, unlike Sybill, was able to study, earning him a Doctorate in both psychology and psychiatry

While he remained living with his mother he would sometimes roam the university campus, especially after long nights of studying, observing the people around.

It was there that he, at age 19, that he met a young woman that had been wandering around, lost and visibly pregnant. Seeing her caused a deep shock in Gregory as she resembled his mother in looks like no other woman he’d even seen before. Unbeknowns to his mother, Gregory had suffered great damage from her treatment of him, which had lead to violent thoughts and great apathy. Had the girl not approached him, she would have lived but she decided to ask him for help, ending in her death.

This remained the only unplanned murder commited by the Doctor, who hid her body, laying awake at night, working out what to do with her. He had carefully opened her up, not focused on her death as much as on causing her pain for as long as possible, but as he hadn’t been very ecperienced yet he had made quite a mess. The young woman would turn to the first in a row of women that caused Gregory to perfect his work and disposal of the bodies.

World War Two brought a sudden end to the Doctors murder streak. Age 30 when America entered the War he was pulled into it as a medic, despite not being properly trained as a Doctor 

However his talents that he had perfected during his murders had been of great use during the war that had only led to Gregory becoming even more cold to death and gore. Returning from the War he was offered a position at a instiution, as the need for Psychologists arose.

However Gregory saw no great interest in treating shell shocked patients for too long, he instead chose to focus on the psychiatric field, working in an asylum from then on. Gregory is, while extremely smart, speaking four languages and being a Doctor, unable to form any bonds with people.

He’s terribly arrogant and aware of his intelligence, viewing it as a superiority to other people. He suffers from antisocial personality disorder/ psychopathy and is addicted to nictotine.

He’s a very cleanly person, almost to a point of it being an obsession. He smells of Nicotine, Disinfectant and a neutral perfume.

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Oh geez, well I’d rather meet an oc of mine thats like, one of the chill ones. Maybe someone about my age.

Someone like Friedrich or Violet. It’d be easiest to talk to them, and I know they are super nice. Meeting Brist, Araan or Caspian would be cool too tho, so many stories and questions there

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

There used to be the joke that Friedrich is basically a tall, muscular version of me. Funnily enough I now have the chin beard as well, and I’ve discovered that I’m as much of a nerd and work focused person as he is. Still while we share some similarities, we’re p different still lmao

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

Not really, only changed things to be more accurate and stuff but that aint against my will or anything

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? Nope

28. Your most dangerous OC?

There are a couple, such as Cenric (being a crazy, megalomanic, narcisstic, manic Emperor), Gregory and Jonathan (literal serial killers), Crya (cannibalistic monster) and Eligos (p much does body disposal). 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

Eddy and Dick, they would tell each other because they’d go together lmao. Paula would want to and just before going there she’d chicken out of it

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? Quinn, he’s tall and grown up but he loves small and cute things

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Friedrich II:Would have a super cool layout that he coded himself, and would offer the theme for people to use, as well as giving people tips on how to easily do cool things w their themes.

His icon would’ve been fairytale themed for a while until he posts his first selfie for pride month, then it’s a picture of him with a pride flag. He’d reblog peoples art of fairytales, and he’d especially love peoples new interpretations of them

Would reblog thing about rats and post pictures of his own rats with cute captions. Reblogs peoples selfies during pride and other pride days ( like trans day of visibility n such), always adding super nice things in the tags.

He posts his first selfie during pride and it gets quite the reblogs and people asking to see more (half of them are thirsting after his body) Declines the request to post full topless pictures because he says that his blog is sfw and he doesnt want to mix fairtales, rats and codes with nudes.

He would have a nsfw blog tho,,,hes horny He’d give it to those over 18 that’d ask, reblogging gifs and stuff there and yeah thats where he posts topless pictures.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

I’d like to say Brist because that would be funny as hell and he would actually explore everything, pretty unfazed by what is going on. But honestly Annora is already living a horror game pretty much, that is with loosing her parents, fighting for survival,being used by the revolution group as a ‘chosen one’, and especially because she has to encounter the wandering twins, which are creepy as heck. She’s a fighter against will but she pulls through and shes careful enough not to do something stupid.

33. Your shyest OC?

That’d be sweet, pure Charlie

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Oh yes, Eddy and Dick; Jae-Eun and Jae-Hyeok; Nathanael and Susanna

35. Any sibling characters?

There’s a lot coming your way

Cenric and his younger sister Annora

Sadira and her older brother Arshad

Gregory actually has a halfbrother that’s not really developed, named Maximilian 

Charlie and her younger sister Paula

Olivia and her older brother Bill

Arthur and his younger brother Jonathan

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

The above mentioned Adelais who belongs to Leander, is let’s say semi-paired w Regulus

Established girlfriends Sadira (who’s my oc) and Elizaveta (who is his)

Violet (mine) and Cole (his) sweet young love

And an AU Version of my oc Echo is the ex of Ninas OC Crem

Charlie used to be w the oc Amy of a friend but idk if that’s still a thing

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

There are a few, like Myka, Viida, Amodis,Brist, Rovhen and Araan but I think I’ll go with Cyra

Cyra, or ‘Venus Cyra’ is not as developed as some others here so not to worry about too long of a text,,,,I hope

Cyra is meant to exist around the 50s funnily enough, just like Gregory, which I really didn’t intend lmaoShe is,a s the question suggests, not quite human, despite maintaining a relaticely human appearance for most of the time. Cyra lives in a house in the fictional Bloomstreet, which has been declared haunted decades ago because of a man living inside of it that took great joy in messing with his neighbours.

Crya believes herself to have lived in the house all of her life, with no memory as to how she got to come there and why she can’t leave it.In truth it’s told that she moved in with her grandmother when Cyra was just a baby, having lost her parents. If you were to believe the whispers and legends the old woman was very poor, hardly able to keep the small house for her and her granddaughter.

She would wear the same old clothes she had arrived in, the young girl wearing a worn out dress with a pale blue bow. Legends say that they were so poor that the grandmother couldn’t afford to buy much more than bread and water.

A police man came to their door one day because the old woman hadn’t been able to pay for her house anymore. Desperate, it’s said that she hit the man across the head as he had bend down to say hello to Cyra, who looked famished and sick at that point.

Not sure what to do with the body and knowing that her granddaughter needed more than bread to survive and grow, she went to butcher the man and cook him into stew for herself and her granddaughter to eat. As she saw that Cyra became more healthy and stronger at the meat consumption, the old woman, desperate and hopeful to keep her beloved granddaughter alive, fully turned to cannibalism.

It’s said that the grandmother died a couple of years later of old age but legends have it that she is still in the house as well, a half dead monster. Cyra, having eaten human flesh all her life is said to have turned into a wendigo like creature,fully turning into a gruesome beast during the nights, to feed on the flesh of people that dare to enter the haunted house.

She is called Venus in some tales because a man claimed to have seen her one day, watering the roses in the lawn of the house, more beautiful than anything he had seen all his life, calling her ‘a sight like the goddess Venus herself’

Cyra isn’t fully aware of these legends, but she is aware of her monsterous nature, that she is unable to control. She believes she was cursed to stay in this house, a monster taking her place during night, leaving her with the remains of peoiple and the ravaging craving for human flesh.

She loved taxidermy and moths, and tending to flowers.

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

Irina is a professional ballet dancer so I’d say she’s the best out of my Ocs

39. Introduce any character you want

Alright, because I’ve tought about them recently, I’ll cheat a bit and introduce two ocs: Susanna and Nathanael, whom I mentioned somewhere above briefly as ‘The Wandering Twins’

They are part of my Golden Empire universe and are the heads of one of the groups that build after the collapse of most of what we know of the Earth.

They play a part in Annoras journey to find her brother as both a danger to avoid/defeat, as well as potential allies. Susanna and Nathanael are twins that are both about 1,90m tall and are constantly veiled, having stapled veils to their faces and necks.

That adds to their ghostly,creepy appearance. You could describe their group as a cult,as it is religiously motivated and their followers are devoted to Susanna and Nathanael, who they call ‘Mother’ and ‘The Priest’

That could come fromt he fact that Susanna wears the traditional headwear of a nun, while Nathanael looks somewhat like a Priest and carries a bible around. Christianity is considered an old and outdated religion in the times that GE plays in, practiced by a very small amount of people before the collapse. It’s generally thought of as outdated and outlandish, with stories too wild to be real.

However some of the old text have been recovered or been carried on over generations by those that remain firm believers in the Christian God. Susanna and Nathanael were raised by such a family and spread their belief to vulnerble and scared people after the collapse that latch onto it as a form of explanation easily.

The Twins view the collapse as a sort of apocalypse brought by God to punish Humanity for their sins, they believe that they must attone and suffer now as Earth was made their purgatory. If one is firm in belief and enough suffering is done, so they say, Heaven will open up and they will be taken by God to heaven, forgiven and able to forget the horrors they went through on Earth.

They expect that suffering to be done by their followers, who all walk barefoot, some of them having blinded themself in order to see nothing but God in their lifes. Susanna and Nathanael as well as their group wander in order to spread their message, taking in new followers if they prove their faith by stripping themselves of their footwear and walking through the ruins of cities with them until their feet bleed.

Only if they are willing to shed blood for their sins will they be taken on and be bathed and baptized in a river and dressed in simple gowns.It is considered the highest honour to be veiled just like Susanna and Nathanael. They seem to be able to appear out of nowhere and have a settlement in the woods that they return to.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

I love developing oc things w my friends, its always a lot of fun and I wish I could do that more. Especially nice was cosplaying Gregory and Jason w Leander,,,cosplaying ocs is rad af, would love to do that again

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

Yeee, mostly you and Leander actually, but a couple of others too. Let me see if I can show u a favourite oc art from u and from Leander

@bruhchantite listen,,,this is so fucking cute, I love seeing our kids all together. All art of them is always so happy and positive. I love every piece u did of em but this one especially bc,,,bringing star wars into it??Power move

@spokoystviye okay listen you made soo many great pieces but this one,,,this one idk maybe its because I love Brist so much but,, this is simple yet amazing. I love the small light play u got in here and just how u drew Brist,,,thats me boy!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

Cenric, I’d say. He thinks of himself as a god after all. I think he’d like the imagery of it all

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Oh geez well,, I generally make my ocs older than me, like most of them are in their late 30s/40s, I have more ocs heading 60s than I have heading 20 lmao. My ocs are more often male than any other gender and more likely to be lgbt than straight. I like nice and clean looks, Leander can tell a great deal about how much I care for a clean look lmao. Most of my ocs have their life in order, and most of them are on the taller side

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

I put thought into my characters,so I think that makes them interesting and fun. And I try very hard to havbe them make sense and be time/lore appropriate.

45. A character you no longer use?

I did drop some Ocs a bit ago that never got much work and that I didn’t think interesting enough to work on. Sadly enough I don’t do as much w my ocs as I’d like to generally.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

Nope, I’m generally kind to my characters lmao

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

both Nina and Leander did and I think it’s v sweet hell yeah

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Charlie and Caspian, truly good and pure, and positive

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

Seth would definitely love memes. So would Kylan but he’d like the really weird ones best. Eddy and Dick would constantly send memes to each other, effectively annoying everyone else. Paula would like memes when they are already outdated

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

Generally special universe oc seem to be more interesting than like,,basic universe ones but I wannt quickly talk abour my OC WilliamI love him okay? He’s from Russia, where he grew up in a tightly knit family. He’s a childrens Doctor and was married to Nahia, who’s an ER Doctor. They met in med school and got along super well, they both were used to the whole early marriage idea and marrying someone you like so they did just that. They both always wanted to have children and kid. It’s very important for them to be there for thgeir child despite their jobs. William is such a dad, he loves his child so much, he’d do anything for em. He and Nahia are best friends, even after the divorce, which happened after long talks because they had noticed that something was off. It led to William confessing that he thinks he might be gay and they ended up divorcing because it turns out yes he is. William probably would’ve stayed w Nahia, also for their childs sake but she wouldn’t hear anything of it. He’s a very kind man, calm and I love the thought of him being able to explore who he is even at his age. He’d be so new to everything,,sobs,,angel

[jasonblossomsghost]

1-100.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify 100%2. Is your room messy or clean? I'm actually switching rooms rn so messy I guess3. What color are your eyes? Everyone says they're hazel but they're Brown4. Do you like your name? Why? Yeah I do I chose it lmao5. What is your relationship status? single af6. Describe your personality in 3 words or less. I'll describe it in one: Bad™7. What color hair do you have? Brown8. What kind of car do you drive? Color? I don't drive but when I start I'll be driving a white Chevy Impala9. Where do you shop? Charlotte Russe, Ross Dress for Less, Forever 21 occasionally, Goodwill with friends sometimes10. How would you describe your style? It's kinda all over the place but 80s-90s & gay11. Favorite social media account? Tumblr12. What size bed do you have? Used to have a twin but ya boi is getting a full 13. Any siblings? Yh I have 714. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why? On my own island bc I can control who's there15. Favorite Snapchat ​filter? Dog bc I'm a basic ass bitch16. Favorite makeup brand(s)? I don't wear makeup on a regular basis so I don't have one17. How many times do you shower a week? 3-4 anymore and my hair dries out18. Favorite TV show? rn it's Shameless19. Shoe size? men's 5, women's 6-7.520. How tall are you? 5'321. Sandals or sneakers? sneakers I actually rly hate sandals22. Do you go to the gym? Nah but I work out at home23. Describe your dream date. I get to choose the music for the car ride, a museum or something cute like that, afterwards we get ice cream bc I fucking love ice cream24. How much ​money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $0.00 but my mom & sister owe me $250 lmao25. What color socks are you wearing? not wearing any atm26. How many pillows do you sleep with? Only one27. Do you have a job? What do you do? Nope but I've applied for jobs and I'm waiting to get calls back rip28. How many friends do you have? I'm really bad at telling the difference between friends & acquaintances but maybe like 10??29. What's the worst thing you have ever done? I was born lmao30. What's your favorite candle scent? Vanilla 100%31. 3 favorite "boy" names: Noah (ever Noah I've ever met is super nice), Kai (do y'all remember when every male OC was named Kai??), Andddd Colin (bc of Colin Morgan and also this really nice boy I knew named Colin when I was little)32. 3 favorite "girl" names: Janelle (y'all know why lmao), Nadia, and Gabby (these are all names of girls I've liked before/currently like whoops)33. Favorite actor? Noel Fisher probably34. Favorite actress? Hayley Kiyoko35. Who is your celebrity crush? I HAVE A LOT but probably Hayley Kiyoko loml36. Favorite movie? Scott Pilgrim vs The World or GBF37. Do you read a lot? What's your favorite book? I used to but then that mental illness hit me like a brick lmaoooooo and probably Remembering the Good Times - Richard Peck38. Money or brains? probably brains39. Do you have a nickname? What is it? Yeah I have a few which are Or, Orio, and Bear40. How many times have you been to the hospital? I went to the hospital a lot as a kid so I have no idea41. Top 10 favorite songs: atm it's Imaginary Parties - SUPERFRUIT, Praying - Kesha, There For You - Martin Garrix & Troyes Sivan, Ignition/Do You Like Drugs - Phoebe Ryan, Suit and Jacket - Judah & The Lion, K. - Cigarettes After Sex, Liability - Lorde, If i ever feel better - Phoenix, Humongous - Declan McKenna, and Get Bummed Out - Sports42. Do you take any medications daily? I'm supposed to take allergy pills + a preventative inhaler but I don't43. What is your skin type? p normal but occasionally dry/oily44. What is your biggest fear? ever seen Psycho? yeah that45. How many kids do you want? NONE I'D FUCK THEM UP46. What's your go to hair style? something I like to call "dude did u even brush it?" (the answer is no)47. What type of house do you live in? two story house with an apartment over the garage48. Who is your role model? Amelia Earhart, we were born in the same town + I too wanna fucking disappear49. What was the last compliment you received? @just-call-me-hot-topic called me hot which is Incorrect™50. What was the last text you sent? "No" to my sister51. How old were you when you found out santa wasn't real? 4 or 5. My mom told me he died in a blizzard but it's okay bc I fucking hated Santa52. What is your dream car? Tesla I love clean energy53. Opinion on smoking? kill urself if u want but keep it away from my asthmatic ass + literally everyone else who doesn't want to inhale poison54. Do you go to college? I'm technically enrolled in college and I take college classes so yes55. What is your dream job? Founder of a nonprofit for LGBT+ youth56. Would you rather live in rural areas or suburbs? I've lived in both so I can safely say suburbs57. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Nah my hair is too picky58. Do you have freckles? Yep59. Do you smile for pictures? I don't know how to smile60. How many pictures do you have on your phone? 5561. Have you ever peed in the woods? I've never been in the woods for more than like an hour so nope62. Do you still watch cartoons? Hell yeah63. Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy's or McDonald's? I can't have either anymore but it used to be Wendy's64. Favorite dipping sauce? I actually hate dipping sauce65. What do you wear to bed? either a sports bra + underwear + shorts or underwear + a t-shirt66. Have you ever won a spelling bee? yeah actually in the 5th grade, I won a dictionary67. What are your hobbies? being gay, listening to music68. Can you draw? Once a 12 year old laughed at me for 10 minutes bc of a tree I drew so no69. Do you play an instrument? No I wish70. What was the last concert you saw? I've never been to a concert rip71. Tea or coffee? Tea72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks73. Do you want to get married? maybe but that's contingent on finding someone who likes me which is Unlikely74. What is your crush's first and last initial? JG75. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? if they have a cool last name, sure76. What color looks best on you? my family says moss green77. Do you miss anyone right now? yh lmao78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed, open makes me paranoid af79. Do you believe in ghosts? I'm not sure but I believe in energy so I guess80. What is your biggest pet peeve? my sister likes to take all my stuff out of the shower when she takes a shower then doesn't put it back and it makes me homicidal81. Last person you called? My mom82. Favorite ice cream flavor? Birthday Cake (but only the halotop brand)83. Regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? I'm gay what do you think85. What shirt are you wearing? A gray v-neck t-shirt not that interesting lmao86. What is your phone background? Will Roland in a turtle shell87. Are you outgoing or shy? Somewhere in between I think. Like I'm outgoing if I know the other person is more nervous than me88. Do you like it when people play with your hair? fuck yes89. Do you like your neighbors? All I know about them is the cops are at their house a lot but sure90. Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning? In the morning when I'm in the shower91. Have you ever been high? Not like intentionally but there have been times where I've taken too many doses of my inhaler and cold medicines when I've had bronchitis that could probably classify as being high. If it does, I cry at children's movies a lot when I'm high92. Have you ever been drunk? Nope93. Last thing you ate? ice cronch cronch94. Favorite lyrics right now: "I get nervous when I'm happy because what comes up must come down" (aka my whole existence)95. Summer or winter? Summer bc less stress and my depression is more manageable96. Day or night? Night97. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk 100000%98. Favorite month? November99. What is your zodiac sign? Scorpio100. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom when I was having a panic attack & she was yelling @ me

[ladysqueakinpip]

every. single. one. of those OC questions, and the ones that you have to have a specific OC pick whoever you want, but make sure a couple of them are Darrvi and Taffel and Abbe and I think you have a fairy lady? or a dryad lady? or both? do them too, for whatever ones you want

i’m going to talk about so many ocs. 

1. Do any of your OCs have a speech impediment?

heykel talks with a stutter! i’m not sure if this counts as an impediment but amytis’ voice is naturally very quiet so she has a hard time contributing to large conversations or arguments not because she doesn’t want to say anything but because people never hear what she says haha. 

2. Do any of your OCs have a physical disability?

hmmm well my side fantroll syddie (who i hardly ever talk about r i p) has bowed legs from a trauma injury. she has to wear leg braces to talk. again, i’m not sure if this counts as a disability but since elian’s epileptic & not medicated he has to be careful going up and down stairs or swimming/bathing and it does put a limit on the types of activities he can do in the day.  

3. What is your OCs favorite band if they have one?

okay well since u said darrvi first here he comes. darrvi would like music similar to john mayer and jason mraz. he probably knows a couple underground bands but they’re like. pop underground. they’re not really underground just sorta underground. it’s also a little known darrvi-fact that he enjoys listening to ke$ha music. 

4. Does your OC have anything they take pride in? (like an award or collection?)

and taffel is next. is it bad to say i feel like he likes his stupid ripped up jeans? the ones he literally just cuts with a chainsaw? he probably likes that dumb varsity jacket i’m always drawing him in. so i guess the answer is a couple clothing items but he’s not a very materialistic person. other than the jeans and jacket i feel like he’s really proud of his physical fitness. he works really hard to keep it up lol. 

5. Does your OC have a favorite film?

abbe’s favorite film…. uh…. hard to say since they don’t actually have movies in EG? abbe strikes me as the type of person who would like those cheesy family-oriented hallmark movies. he marathons the christmas movies in december. 

6. How tall is your OC?

i’m assuming by “fairy lady” you mean maya! i haven’t made official heights for them yet but judging from my character reference sheet she’s near 5′9″ or 5′10″! 

7. Does your OC have any celebrity crushes?

by dryad-lady do you mean lia merson? if so i don’t think she does! she was made for @pidgenerd ‘s story and i don’t think there’s an easy way to spread news in her world like we have in ours with TV/phones/radio/internet and all that media. i doubt lia really knows much about the world outside of her small tree community lol. besides, even if she had time for celebrities, she’s got a crush on @topazpearl ‘s kurama anyway *u*

8. Do you ship any 2 of your OCs?

um….. ya. a lot. elianXanneliese, abbeXrosalie, rolandXjeannine, irenaXdwayne the rock johnson, darrvi<>taffel, heykel<>taffel, bodrum<>amytis, akhett<>alekah, whatever the heck is going on between fidias/paatni, and even though heykel/amytis blackrom is literal filth i still like the idea of it bye. 

those are just the ships with ONLY my characters lol come back later for more swaggie shipping. 

9. How would you describe your OCs fashion taste?

i’m gonna go back to maya on this because i really love her and i don’t talk about her a lot. maya likes dresses! bright colors and intricate, detailed patterns. this is a good example. also this. i feel like everything she wears could be described as a maxi dress or a sun dress. 

10. Does your OC have any special talents?

u wanted more darrvi and taffel??? i’ll give you more darrvi and taffel. darrvi’s a decent baker? he sticks to making pies and cupcakes. i bet darrvi’s super secret talent is being able to find really good albums/movies/games in those giant “discount” bins you see at walmart. he goes to the clearance section or to thrift stores and gets really nice pairs of pants for $3. taffel on the other hand is a sculptor. he’s made a couple trinkets for leaena. he likes to work with clay and wood the most i bet he always has dirt under his nails. or splinters in his hands. his super secret talent is bumping up against vending machines and being able to knock a soda or a bag of chips out for free. he’s the guy who checks the slot to see if someone left a soda there and he always finds one. 

11. Is your OC really bad at something?

darrvi is really bad at styling his hair. it just floofs up and poofs all over the place and he’s sick of it but he’s given up. he seems like he’s bad at making a decision and sticking with it good grief i feel like half of his life problems stem from the fact that he just doesn’t know what he wants. 

taffel is really bad at cooking oh my gosh. no wonder darrvi can bake he had to learn for the both of them. i think taffel’s issue is that he’s that person who thinks “oh yea i can multitask i’ve got this” and before he knows it dinner is burnt, the laundry’s been sitting out for 2 hours, he didn’t vacuum up that mess in the living room and he forgot to call leaena back. 

12. Does your OC have both of their parents?

maya’s dad died before EG starts. i’m sure her mother is still around but after her dad died she just left home and the rest of her family for something bigger. 

lia does have both her parents but her dad is out working & traveling a lot since he’s a merchant. she lingers around her tree home with her mom and waits for dad to bring them treats and money from his travels. 

13. Does your OC know their parents?

I HAVE TO KEEP ANSWERING THESE FOR LIA AND MAYA BECAUSE TROLLS DON’T HAVE ANY PARENTS RIP!!! but yes! they both know both of their parents. 

14. Does your OC have any siblings?

maya has a lot of siblings! i’m thinking her family might have five children total, though i haven’t decided entirely on the birth order + genders of her siblings. i was thinking 2 older brothers and 2 younger sisters? this could change don’t hold me to it. 

lia doesn’t have any other siblings. :’( it’s very sad and lonely but when your mother is a dryad and your father is a human obviously things aren’t going to work out perfectly. 

15. Do any of your OCs have pets?

my oc kate has a pet canary! i’ve been toying with the idea of giving elian a service dog. his brother roland has some horses. 

i don’t think trolls really have pets? so i guess none of my trolls have pets.

16. Do you have any nonhuman OCs?

no one from EG is a human and none of my trolls are humans haha. lia merson’s a dryad…. talise is some weird otter-anthro furry…. i think my only human ocs are my fankids? and faige and kaleb.

17. Do you have any OCs you haven’t posted about?

i have a couple of new dryads in the works for lia’s world, actually! but i don’t know anything about them i just wanted to draw more tree girls so i did. 

i’ve also been thinking up a couple phoenix ocs from another part of the EG map but there’s not much happening with them. 

18. How would you describe your OCs nature in one word?

watch me do darrvi and taffel again because i’m predictable. i think darrvi’s word would be “hopeful”? he wants the best for himself and for the people he loves so he comes up with elaborate schemes to make everything work out haha. he wants to believe that there’s some goodness in a world that’s so dark and violent. he gets let down a lot but somehow he’s muscled through. 

i think taffel’s word is “self-centered”, but in more than one way. i mean he is pretty selfish and a lot of his actions are thoughtless and only benefit himself but i think that’s because he has a hard time connecting & understanding other people on an emotional level? so he ends up having this little world that’s just his and he doesn’t consider the impact of his actions on other people until after he’s done something. 

19. Who is your youngest OC?

paseri! she’s only 11. 

20. Who is your oldest OC?

i guess technically bodrum is the oldest since he’s like 200+ years old but um. we don’t talk about that and physically/mentally/emotionally he’s around 15 so uh. yea. otherwise i think my oldest is elian’s doctor/irena’s dad? he’s somewhere in his 50s-60s. 

21. What race is your OC?

since most of my ocs aren’t human i don’t think i can answer this one? no one’s technically white/black/asian/etc. heck, maya is blue. all my fankids are just white. kaleb’s white. faige is biracial but i haven’t decided if her mom is black and her dad is white or if her dad is black and her mom is white. 

22. Would your OC like you?

of course they like me everyone likes me -shot-