#carmy. what are we doing 🤨

[frogmascquerade]

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[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

[carmenberzattosgf]

imagine dad carmen waking up to an empty bed and he’s kind of like “…where the fuck is my family 🤨” because they NEVER wake up before him and he usually has to climb out of the dogpile each morning.

so he ventures out to the kitchen to find you and your kids quietly giggling and speaking in hushed tones, trying to make breakfast for him since he always does it. it melts his heart and he kinda gets fomo even tho it’s literally a surprise for him lmfao—can’t decide if he wants to crawl back to bed or join in and ‘ruin’ the surprise -💫

(is this the first non-horny thing you’ve ever sent in?) ANYWAYS PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE

He literally always manages to wake up with both of his kids in bed laying on top of him, and you somewhere on the other side of the bed. So when he wakes up this morning without any weight on top of him, he’s confused. He’s even more confused when he rolls over to wrap an arm around you and your side of the bed is empty.

“The fuck?” He looks over to his clock, which reads 7am. It’s his day off so he slept in a bit, but there’s no way in hell his kids should be awake right now. Carmy wills himself out of bed and that’s when he hears giggling and laughing, followed by a loud “shh”.

As quietly as possible he opens up the door to the bedroom and peaks his head out to look in the kitchen. Both of his kids are wearing child size aprons while they stand on a stool to stir what looks like pancake mix. You’re standing by the burner, getting the pan hot.

Part of Carmy wants to walk in and ruin their fun. He’s the chef of the house after all… and a bit of a perfectionist. It dawns on him though that you’re trying to do something special for him with the kids, so he gently shuts the door and crawls back into bed.

It’s only about ten minutes until he hears the padding of footsteps heading towards the bedroom door. The kiddos come in loudly, “Daddy, daddy! Wake up! We made you breakfast!”

“Oh did you guys? Are those pancakes?” He points to the plate his daughter is holding.

“Yep! With chocolate chips!”

“And I cut up fruit!” His son cuts in quickly.

“This is so sweet of you. Did you do this yourselves?”

“It was mommy’s idea, we helped though!”

Carmy’s head turns to you as you smile at the door. “Thank you sweetheart.”

[yannaryartside]

Claire, Richie and Fak keep treating Carmy like a child

In the long list of 🤨momments I had while watching Claire, are those when she literally said to Carmy, in a cute flirty voice, a version of “why don't you say this” and Carmy goes an says it. It happened twice as I recall. When she said “say one more time (that you wanted to have my number) and the other when they were helping that drunk girl at the party (that saint Claire ended up abandon either way) and she asked Carmy to repeat something. It gave “mother” “teacher” vibes. It is the thing that you do when you have to mold a child. She was molding him to her liking.

Same with Richie and Fak, breaking boundaries and insisting on them dating. Carmy definitely associates being with Claire with pleasing his family (Mickey included) when one of Carmy’s core wounds is how much they rejected him and his profession after Mickey banished him.

Carmy has feeling for Claire, I don't deny that. She is pleased with Carmy to the point of not demanding anything from him when he grow up in a house surrounded by people who made him think he was not good enough. People who treat our core wounds can be very seductive, to the point we may ignore others parts of our emotional needs. That is not either good or bad, but is good to be aware of it. How much you want this person because they made you feel you are not as bad as you think you are? How does that affect the dynamic?

The show is making a point to tell us how much Carmy may have never pursue a relationship with this her (mind you, even Claire said they were never close growing up) if his family had not pushed him in that direction.

Is not about “oh he is shy so he needs help” or that he is mentally ill. Loving someone doesn't mean taking away their agency. If anything If you love “molding” somebody, you just love the person they are after you molded them.

I think that comes back to his panicky attack. He seems unable to detach Claire from all the horrible memories and wounds related to his family. He may even feel that to be with with her, but he must be “molded” to all those expectations, theirs and hers. Do with that what you will.

[thebearer]

what would halloween be like with carmy? i feel like if u picked out a slutty outfit he would’nt be bothered but he’d be like “honey you need a jacket with that” 🤨 personally i’d like to go as a slutty remy the rat and have carmen go as linguine HAHA

"baby, it's freezing. put a jacket on."

"a jacket doesn't go with this outfit carm! it will ruin the look!"

"i'll carry it for you when we get there. just wear it on the walk."

so you do. you're in your puffy jacket, and carmen's in his own. when you get to the house party, carmen takes your jacket and holds it for you all night bc he'd rather do that (be labeled as a simp or a munch or pussy whipped or whatever) over you getting cold.

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)

note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes

part one

liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others

chefboyardee: life lately

see all 9 comments

syd_adamu: that pho was life changing

↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had

marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu

↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone

↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez

↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that

↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔

↳ syd_adamu: 😑

carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥

THE GOLDEN TRIO

[ 7:45 AM ]

y/n: did you see

did you see

did

you

see

ogmgokggkowkfofsk

syd: pardon??

what did richie do oh my god

did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day

fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad

marcus: nope i wish

y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭

syd: who

marcus: think about it

who else would cause this reaction

y/n: carmy!!!!!!!

i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍

syd: woah and the heart eyes?

y/n: no that’s my addition

syd: the bar is in hell

HES YOUR BOSS

y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??

marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨

syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????

y/n: bye im done

im leaving for work.

don’t talk to me ever again

done.

marcus: bye 👋

why do you leave so early fool

syd: so she can be teachers pet

marcus: smh always there before everyone

y/n: not true.

syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us

y/n: 😒

marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again

y/n: …. 😁

WORK

[ 8:15 AM ]

y/n: AYOOOO

great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍

richie: Is this a joke?

y/n: why would i joke about such a thing

carmy: Y/n what are you doing

y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty

carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it

This is not what I meant

y/n: well you yell too much

marcus: ouch

that’s my station 😔

carmy: Well clean it better

y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement

carmy: Not what that means

y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me

im making alliances day by day

richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends

y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally

richie: No

We are definitley in an alliance

y/n: love u richie

richie: Don’t go that far

chefboyardee’s instagram stories

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 3:25 PM ]

y/n:

he so fine im bouta cermmmmm

syd: …..

marcus: :O

y/n: why are you acting shocked

like i haven’t said this daily

tina: Woah girl who?

y/n: HUH

richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it

syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices

tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..

marcus: she was talking about me you guys

y/n: the guy in the back

oh i mean yeah marcus

tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..

y/n: we are having an affair

marcus: no it’s about me

richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..

tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.

marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor

y/n: i was just being funny!

tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?

syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯

tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?

y/n: what no

tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute

y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT

its the tattoos isn’t it

richie: You have to be fucking joking

tina: I was playing..

y/n: im confused

syd: that was cruel

marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal

y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️

tina: No he is cute… for you 😝

y/n: this is humiliating

richie: I’ll tell him

y/n: NO

stop

sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY

richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards

richie: I’m just fucking with you kid

tina: This isn’t over.

THE GOLDEN TRIO:

[ 3:40 PM ]

syd: y/n….

marcus: you look like a ghost y/n

y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc

i’m done im so done

marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad

syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..

marcus: true it could be worse

y/n: i guess so

thank you for trying to cover for me marcus

marcus: anytime you know i got you

syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious