#chappell roan inspired OFC

[mappingthesky]

not a prompt necessarily but I’m always down for planymphia angst 🙏🙏🙏

in response to multiple asks i’ve received for planymphia angst… here is this <3

i know baby, no attachment

None of this had been in the plan.

It was the first thing they’d talked about that first night in Jane’s apartment; Neither of them were looking for anything serious. They were both unavailable, incapable of making any promises. Not now. Not yet. It would be clean, simple, no strings attached. Just two people using each other. Innocently, admittedly using each other, but using each other nonetheless.

They’d been on the couch in Jane’s dimly lit apartment. Jane was an obvious sort of gorgeous. It was the first thing Nymphia had noticed about her, what drew her in on that first night they’d met: she’d been wearing something meant to lure you in, hypnotized by the clinging of her clothes to her body, the wave of her hair, her eyes tightlined and sharpened like knives. Jane was almost lethal to look at, all done up and primed to kill; the most magnetic friend-of-a-friend Nymphia had ever been introduced to. She was somehow even more gorgeous now, sitting on the couch in her casual clothes, her face aglow in the light of the television, her auburn hair pulled up into a messy top knot. She was painfully, effortlessly attractive, and, much to Nymphia’s surprise, only so much of a smooth talker. She came off suave at first, all punchlines and quick remarks, but after a while Nymphia could start to see her thinking. Jane would be in the middle of a sentence, flying through it, hurtling towards some revelation, and then she’d catch herself. She’d pause, freeze on a word and scoff at it, like she was considering whether whatever she was about to say would be worth the sentiment. And then she’d go a bit shy, averting her eyes and playing with the pilling on the upholstery, giving away just how carefully considered she was. And just when Nymphia was starting to think that Jane was completely nervous to her core, that Nymphia might actually have the upper hand in this situation, Jane would bring it back. She’d pick her head up and let the words go, say something so stunningly direct and devastating. It left Nymphia a little breathless, a little too endeared, a little too eager to kiss her.

They could have guessed at the chemistry, but it didn’t come close to the real thing.

What happened when Jane’s skin hit Nymphia was the sort of collision that produced suns and planets and supernovas, flinging particles off into space with enough pressure to form entire worlds. Nymphia could practically see the stars behind her eyes, fluttering shut when Jane was hovering above her, hand between her legs, finding some undiscovered place that Nymphia didn’t know had been there all along, waiting to be found. Jane turned Nymphia’s body into something more than it was before, transforming her irrevocably. Jane was a comet crashing through her atmosphere, and Nymphia was awe-struck, staring at the sky and watching the sparks shower. You can’t be prepared for such life-altering things, it's what makes them so devastating.

What neither of them could have predicted was the ease of what came after - the lying in bed, talking about it. The debrief. Nymphia was a bit too happily fucked, and unwilling to share the extent of her satisfaction. She was worried she would come off easy, inexperienced somehow. Jane, however, was endlessly attentive. She wanted Nymphia’s experience of the encounter, all the details - what she liked, what satisfied her the most, what she wanted more of. Her sheer desire to please was enough to pull the details out of Nymphia. She was rewarded when Jane allowed her to relive it, this time through Jane’s eyes. Jane’s gaze was far off with remembering, a smile playing at her lips as she recounted her experience of Nymphia in such erotic detail, every telling arch and shudder, and the whole thing was so overwhelmingly flattering that it sort of made Nymphia want to do it all over again.

Nymphia had known better than to pack an overnight bag. She thought she had, anyway.

Her eyes were closed and she was nearly asleep when she’d mumbled, ‘I should be going soon.”

Jane just chuckled. “You’re half asleep already.” Her fingers trailed up the curve of Nymphia’s thigh. “Just spend the night. If you want to.”

Nymphia's eyes were suddenly open, “Yeah?” Jane traced stars onto her hip.

“Mhm,” Jane hummed, eyes flickering up, then back to the curve of Nymphia’s waist.

Nymphia closed her eyes, savored in the feeling of Jane on her skin. A long moment passed.

“D’you cuddle? Or is that against the rules.”

Jane’s hum was an amused look at you asking so soon. She was already pulling Nymphia to her chest.

That first night turned into a three-day sleepover, because of course it did. Nymphia and Jane stretched themselves over the long arc of the weekend, sharing the sort of welcome, unexpected ease that you can’t put down, the kind that you’ll happily destroy your routine over and resign yourself to picking up the pieces after the fact. One weekend became another, and then occasional nights at Nymphia’s apartment with the door shut and her duvet crumpled at the end of the bed. And then they added the weekday rendezvous: Nymphia meeting Jane at her place after work on Thursday evenings, promising not to keep her up late and failing miserably, leaning her head on Jane’s shoulder in the morning as she locked the door on her way out. And then Nymphia was bleeding into Jane’s week, her Tuesdays and Wednesdays, her breakfasts and dinners, her late-night ice cream cravings and subsequent walks to 7-11. And then it was all too regular: Nymphia and Jane, Jane and Nymphia.

It's been a few months now, and there are so many things Nymphia loves about Jane.

She loves how Jane drives with one hand on her thigh, or with her fingers in her mouth. How she looks over to the passenger seat with that special look that's reserved just for Nymphia, and makes her feel like the only person she's ever wanted. She loves how she listens to her music loud, sings along when she’s drunk and tossing her hair, or when it's Sunday morning and she’s at the stove and there’s a record spinning in the living room. Nymphia loves how unabashed Jane is, how bold. How she never hesitates when it comes to the people in her life, how to be loved by Jane is to be fiercely defended by her. Nymphia loves how Jane kisses her in the middle of her sentences, especially when she's talking too much. She loves that Jane is so rough. How she can fuck her like she hates her. She loves how Jane can be so tender. How she can fuck her soft and slow, as reverent as religion. How Jane can make a mess of her, then put her back together again.

There are so many things Nymphia hates.

She hates that Jane is so impulsive, how she strikes so thoughtlessly, how she has to return to the wounds later to draw the venom out of them. How Jane is so stubborn, so set in her ways, so inflexible. How there’s two Janes - the one she’s with now, the one she is around her friends. The one who doesn’t kiss her, hardly touches her aside from a possessive arm around her shoulder or a tap on her knee. How the real Jane, Nymphia’s Jane, emerges as soon as they’re alone together, the one who will see her downturned gaze on the way home and coo what can I do, princess? Hmm? What can I do to see that pretty smile? Nymphia hates that she forgives Jane so easily, that she crumbles every time, that she loves Jane completely and entirely and beyond any measure of hurt that she could unknowingly inflict upon her.

She hates that she’s still sitting at this party, long after Jane promised they’d leave. She hates that Jane’s friends clearly like her; they laugh at Nymphia’s jokes, compliment her shoes, send knowing glances and winks across the room every time Jane so much as mentions her name. She hates how, when they ask what they are, Jane is all too quick to brush them off.

It's obvious that Nymphia’s upset by the way she pounds up the stairs, by the way she wordlessly digs through her purse for her keys, by the way the anger and the hurt and the disappointment emanate from her like poison.

“I just can’t believe they asked that,” Jane scoffs. Nymphia says nothing, gritting her teeth as she turns the key in the lock.

It should be obvious, but Jane is a bit too self-absorbed to notice.

“Like, we don’t even know what we are,” Jane says, and Nymphia feels sick, because she thought she did. “Why would she put me on the spot like that? In front of everyone?”

Nymphia pushes into the apartment, beelining for the kitchen.

“I mean, it was weird, right?” Jane continues, relentless. “Why do they need to know so bad?”

“Yeah,” Nymphia’s voice is hard, laced with venom. She chucks her keys onto the counter with a little too much force. “Why would they?”

“Right,” Jane doesn’t notice. “It would be nice if they could just let us-“

“I don’t know why they could possibly be so confused.” Nymphia interrupts, working off her thigh-highs.

Jane misses a beat. “Wait. Are you-“

“I can’t fucking imagine why they’d think that we’re together.” Nymphia lets her boots drop to the floor, one gut-wrenching smack after the other.

Jane blinks, brows knit together. Nymphia straightens up, fumbles with things on the counter that don’t need to be fumbled with. “Are you upset about this?”

“Why would I be upset?” Nymphia picks up a stray mug, sets it down again. “You just told all of your friends that we’re nothing serious. Why would I ever be upset about that, Jane?”

“I didn’t say that, Nymph,” Jane starts, already on the defense. “I said that we’re something.”

“Oh, right. My bad.” Nymphia scoffs. “We’re something. Let me know when you’re ready to illuminate me on whatever the fuck that means, Jane.”

Jane recoils at Nymphia’s profanity, unfamiliar with her frustration. She’s never seen her like this- so hurt, so ready to retaliate.

It's not funny. Jane shouldn’t laugh. She really shouldn’t, but she’s viscerally uncomfortable and horrifically unprepared for this situation, so she does anyways. “Are you really angry about this?”

The whole thing is white hot and embarrassing, and Nymphia has tears in her eyes when she turns and whips her purse to the floor.

Jane jumps. “What the fuck?” She’s wide-eyed, both hands held up in shock. “Nymphia. Are you serious right now?”

“I don’t know Jane,” Nymphia bites. “Are you serious?”

“What?”

“I kinda thought you might be,” Nymphia steps over her bag. “Y’know, because you cut me a key to your fucking apartment. I thought maybe that constituted we were more than,” she curls her fingers in the air, “something”.

Jane shakes her head, jaw tight and temple pulsing. When she speaks, it's in a lower voice, almost ashamed. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“You never want to talk about it!” Nymphia’s voice cracks, a desperate wail. Jane’s mouth opens, already halfway towards defending herself until she looks at Nymphia and sees her bottom lip quivering, the spilling over of her tears. Jane looked back with a concerned, almost panicked expression, lips frozen and slightly parted.

“Do you love me, Jane? Do you even fucking like me?”

Nymphia surprises herself with the question. She’s so amped up, so high on adrenaline that she lets it all out- the culmination of weeks of words she’d bitten back, suddenly pouring forth from where they’d been collecting in a lump in her throat.

“No, seriously, do you? Because I can’t fucking tell. I think you do, because- because you say all these beautiful things, and you spend so much time with me, and you take such good fucking care of me. So you must fucking love me, right? But when your friends ask, I have to sit there and listen to you tell them that we’re something. Like it’s so fucking confusing to you. Like it's a goddamn secret. Do you know what that feels like?”

Nymphia is fully pacing now, walking the length of the kitchen over and over again. Jane follows her with wincing, pained eyes.

What Nymphia hates, more than anything, is that she doesn’t hate Jane at all. Not for any of it.

“I’m fucking in love with you, Jane, alright?” Nymphia whines, hands whipping through the air with frustration. “I’m so in love with you, and everybody fucking knows it. Your friends, my friends, my mom, everyone! But no one seems to have any goddamn clue if you love me too. And you know what? I’m not sure if I do, either.”

When she finally expels the last of the words from the hole in her heart, Nymphia looks up through her tears. She can barely stomach the sight of Jane, lips parted and wordless, unsure of what to do with the outpouring of Nymphia’s heart. She stares at her, eyes twisted in pain, then looks to the ground, like Nymphia’s words have slid off her and collected in a puddle at her feet. Nymphia just cries, a pained and exhausted whimper on her lips as she pushes past Jane and into the living room. She collapses on one end of the couch, pulling her knees to her chest and hiding her face behind one hand, hot tears sliding down her cheeks and into her mouth.

Jane stands in the center of the room with her back turned, still facing the phantom of Nymphia’s words that may very well haunt her kitchen forever. Her head is spinning, because how the fuck did this happen. Nymphia is openly sobbing behind her, and the sound is so gut-wrenching that Jane is nauseated.

Nymphia makes a horrible, shuddering gasp for air and Jane finally breaks, crossing the room and dropping to her knees on the floor where Nymphia sits. She doesn’t even look at her, just sobs, and Jane can physically feel her heart fucking breaking.

“Nymphia,” she says, placing her palm on Nymphia’s knee. “Nymph. Hey.”

Nymphia shakes her head, face contorted with tears. She flinches at Jane’s hand like it fucking hurts, and Jane winces as the guilt slices through her. She exhales a sharp puff of defeat and drops her head in hurt.

Nymphia just cries and cries, and the reality of the situation sinks in Jane’s stomach with every sob. She’s sick to her stomach with concern, worried that Nymphia might actually fucking hyperventilate, and then she’s gently begging the girl to breathe. She goes to reach for Nymphia again and pauses, scared to reach out, scared to hurt Nymphia, scared that she’ll recoil from her again. It’s then that Jane knows, for the first time in all of her life, what she wants. She knows, right as it threatens to slip out of her hands.

“I’ve never done this before.”

Jane hears her own voice. Her words hang in the air for a moment, floating like smoke between Nymphia’s shaky, shattered breaths. Jane looks up.

“This,” she says, a tentative hand on Nymphia’s knee. “What you and I have. I’ve never-”

The words are hard for Jane to stomach. They don’t pour out like Nymphia’s do. They catch in her throat, feel wrong in her mouth. She’s not sure they’ll be enough.

“I’ve never had this with anyone,” she says. “I’ve never wanted to. Not until now.”

Nymphia wipes at her eyes, shudders a bit as her breathing quiets.

“I, um,” Jane glances down, scared to look. “I don’t know how.”

Nymphia finally looks at Jane, so small and nervous and crumbling at her feet. She wants to take her hand, to show her, to be endlessly patient even if it kills her. The desire is so enormous, even now. She almost hates herself for it.

“I know I’m fucking it up,” Jane says to the floor, her voice tiny and wavering. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that.”

“I just need to know,” Nymphia whispers.

Nymphia swallows hard, and then Jane looks up and its so fucking harrowing, so moving, because Nymphia can see the guilt in her eyes, the desire, the glimmer of words she can’t figure out how to say. She watches as she considers, catches herself, lets it go.

“I do.” Jane says. Nymphia’s heart plummets, because she knows what she means.

“I don’t want to say it now,” Jane says. “I don’t want it to be an apology. I want you to know I mean it. Is that okay?”

Nymphia nods and Jane mutters over and over I do, I do, you know I do.

It's beautiful and tragic and overwhelming, and Nymphia wants to crash into Jane, to merge together and surpass the need for words entirely. It's too soon to know yet if it's for better or for worse, only that she does it - that she reaches out and takes Jane’s hand.

“I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it.” There’s a hint of a smile on her lips, a bit of Jane laughing at herself. “But I want to try.”

Nymphia just nods and feels more tears streaming down her cheeks, and Jane’s crying too, and then they’re crashing into each other. Nymphia is leaning down and throwing her arms around Jane, who is sitting forward and clinging to her like she’s scared to let her go. Like she caught a shooting star in her bare fucking hands.

It's a whisper against her hair, but Nymphia hears it. “Can I try again?”

Nymphia could hate herself for it for all of forever. She’s prepared to. Jane doesn’t know what she’s doing, and she doesn't either. Nymphia nods anyway.

It's a new world, one of their own making. It's unexplored, uncharted, and they’re venturing into it together, hand in shaking hand. It's dangerous. She’s doing it anyway. She might hate herself for it. It might be the bravest thing she’s ever done.

[lavendergalactic]

Gray & blue for the azk game !! :3

gray: talk about the colors you tend to use in edits! do you like making bright or dark edits? are there colors you dislike editing?

i tend to lean towards making pink edits i think! i love making pink and red edits mostly :D

and i HATE editing yellow or a light green, i don't know why i can just never get it right- except for this yayoi edit i think the yellows in this one are really nice

blue: do you have favorite editors? is there any specific reasoning for your choosing?

@llocket !! 100% locket i really love anything he makes and i am VERY biased but hey i am locket's #1 fan forever >:) she's been improving their graphics so much recently, i love the married in red edits they did today... the improvement is crazy

@saeriji PROUD SAE OG FAN SINCE DAY 1 BRO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 i love all the gifts she's given me, she's so generous and kind T_T and i'm pretty sure she does all her colouring and editing on ibis paint and literally she is just so good at colouring on ibis paint i strive to be like that

@necroangelz OFC! i've seen hir improve SOO much over the past few months, and idol even hit 1k followers recently which is so incredibly deserved

@hiddencircus i always find myself staring at radio's edits for 5 mins straight like... they're all so incredibly detailed and i just feel so much intention and effort that was poured into the edits

@doveish the way shi colours stuff is so nice on the eyes, and i've got to talk with macalo like two times on discord and shi's such a blast to talk to! shi also got me hooked to the lolitawardrobe account on twitter

@narcbf got me super inspired to make shiny buttons / imvu badges, thanks to their tutorial i can make them too now 🙏 also .co/pixelprism is like an angel sent from the heavens i love going there for any resources or really pretty shiny buttons

@herrscherofmemories (YOU!) the absolute IMPROVEMENT i've seen from amaru is so wild to me like i love to see it fr. im in love with this psd of hers, also i forever associate them with any melusine- i see a melusine in the wild and go "OMGG AMARU!! NO WAY!!" also with s = z typing quirks too, i remember my S key hurt too much to press so i settled with what i called "an amaru typing quirk" it was actually really fun

@spiralssyndrome i love love love her colouring on anything, and their melanin edits she does!!!! im a sucker for genshin melanin edits omg... also they're super helpful when it comes to making renders; it's so sweet how willing she is to help me with rendering an image :D also they helped with colouring on my chappell roan buttons 🙏 my hot to go button would be very different without her help thank u

@ideallyadored SUPER DUPER SMOOPER HELPFUL WHEN IT COMES TO GRAPHIC TIPS!! recently told me i should use sharpen on my stamp gifs, i still have yet to figure it out but i can't stop thinking about that tip it lives rent free in my head, i also love their clean aesthetic approach to things all of it is so nice on my eyes

that was such a yap fest i would have gone more but i'd be here for years guys LMAOFOA

[tuituipupu]

i'm having such an emotional time lately so i'm gonna be candid for a minute (i'm ok dw just feeling a lot h hh)

though everything feels heavy atm, i can at least feel happy in recognition that when i look back - i certainly have come a long way.

i've always thought i didn't care what people thought of me or my interests (but i think truthfully, everyone does deep down - even if it's just a small bit)

my old blog was SO PRECISELY curated to a tea that i would rb things in a certain order. to keep an aesthetic. and i hated it. it felt like prison (and this place of all online spaces is meant to be free - at least free of judgement!) i deleted that blog a couple of years ago.

now i post whatever i want when the impulse hits me.

i felt like there were lots of aspects of my interests that defied each other too strongly. but human beings are complex. and we can like different things at once (and post about them!)

and i think this is a big problem with aesthetic culture (and don't get me started on core culture on tiktok) i've always loathed it. like you have to tick certain boxes in fashion and culture and lifestyle to be an acceptable being and true to a community.

i'm really grateful for artists like käärijä or more recently, chappell roan. not only for their music ofc, but where many find a relatability in kä for his body positivity, he rly helped me accept the side of myself that is sexual. i always felt like i've buried this part of myself and felt shame and embarrassment. i even feel awkward talking about this now and a bit silly, but idk if some people might be able to relate and if so, i'd be interested to see if anyone shares similar experiences?

i feel like it's ok and above all safe to express myself sexually. i think it comes with being a woman for me, just feeling watched and exploited all the time. which makes me in turn feel awkward to express my sexual needs or desires. or talk about anything sexual. but where käärijä is so free in talking about these things or performing in a way that includes sexual elements, i feel free and like yes. this is normal and human and ok. a lot of people feel this way.

and with chappell roan, her drag elements of her makeup and fashion really inspire me and almost mimic harajuku elements to me. i love the over the top rhinestoning. i definitely feel more confident experimenting in makeup and wearing things i want to wear or have been scared to pair together.

idk i guess it comes with growing up and i'm still very young. but i guess it feels like for me, its taken me a while to get to this point. i know in reality my peers probably have their own battles but ig i don't see them and maybe deep down i almost feel like the odd one out and just idk... awkward?

idk it just feels better to write this now. when you realise things that have maybe been bothering you in the background of your mind and then it suddenly clicks into place.

[dumbcrustyassbitch]

IᑎTᖇO

hey !! this is basically just a silly blog where i ramble and reblog about my interests !!

info

you can call me bee :3

she/they

SCOTTISH🗣️🗣️🗣️

will unlikely be the one to initiate conversation, but feel free to talk to me !!! im just a very anxious person

neurodivergent in some way, im still working myself out

lesbian

can get very passionate, just lmk if im being annoying or too much !!!

my interests

mean girls

my favourite version of mean girls is the broadway !!! regina is my favourite character, ive watched the 2024 movie over 30 times !! also im an avid rejanis shipper !!! please send me asks/dm me about mean girls, i could babble for hours :3 my favourite song from the broadway is meet the plastics, and my favourite from the movie is someone gets hurt !! WISHING SO HARD FOR WEST END TICKETS🙏🙏🙏🙏

reneé rapp

ive been a fan for just under a year !! my favourite song of hers is either so what now, in the kitchen, snow angel, or moon. ive seen sex lives of college girls 4 times (leighton murray marry me) i own the mean girls and snow angel cds, and its my dream to own one of her vinyls !! i love her so so so much, she's helped me understand myself a little better, and SHE'S SO FUCKING FUNNY AND HER VOICE IS JUST AHAJABFAJAMAN

rachel mcadams

the first movie of hers i saw was mean girls ofc, and then i decided to go on a watching spree !! my all time favourite movie of hers is 100% morning glory, but a few honourable mentions are the notebook, the vow, red eye, eurovision (don't come for me it's not good it's just funny) and game night !! ALSO HER SNL SKIT>>>

erin caldwell

been a fan since 09/05/2023, met her twice, genuinely actually saved my life. there's not much more to say really. as a scottish person, it makes me so proud to see someone like me on stage (help im getting sentimental) but seriously, erin is one of my biggest inspirations, and she's helped me develop my confidence and skills and self esteem and SHES JUST AMAZING OKAY

musical theatre

my longest interest !!! favourite shows that ive seen live are six (ive seen it 4 times, round 5 and 6 booked !! the uk tour 23/24 cast hold a very special place in my heart), heathers, come from away, everybody's talking about jamie, pretty woman, hamilton, and grease :3 my favourite shows that i wish i could see/could've seen are mean girls, the notebook, and the great gatsby !!

gravity falls

been a fan for a while :) my favourite episode is “the golf war” because I LOVE PACIFICA HONESTLY !!!! (regina and pacifica are very similar, im sensing a pattern) very very strong shipper of mabel and pacifica !!!! I NEED THE BOOK OF BILL PLS🙏

other interests include the owl house, heartstopper/osemanverse, superstore, olly murs, chappell roan, towa bird, wednesday, descendants, dove cameron, bluey and olivia rodrigo :3

dni

homophobes, biphobes, etc. any anti lgbtq+

racists, xenophobes, etc.

transphobes, terfs, etc.

ableists

NO NSFW !!!!!!

just generally don't be an asshole pls, im here to have fun, not report you for being a cunt <3

extras

i don't write fics or draw very often, I JUST GENUINELY HAVE NO CREATIVE TALENTS TBH !!!! but i tend to shitpost about mean girls and reneé mostly, some rachel thrown in there !!

also i frequently get the urge to change the entire theme of my blog, just go with it. but it's unlikely that i will change my username !!!! (it's a reneé lyric for those of you uneducated)

ANYWAY THANK U FOR READING HAVE FUN ON MY BLOG OKAY BYE !!!! DRINK WATER !!!!🩷

[oswildin]

“WELL I GUESS THAT’S WORTH A LOOK…”

FIC MASTERLIST // TIKTOK // SPOTIFY // MY MUSIC

i mainly write for loki (mcu), but have one shots for other fandoms and characters like star wars, the boys, the last of us (hbo), the amazing spider-man, doctor who and moon knight.

i also make pov content on my tiktok and playlists on spotify.

about me

name: gigs or oswald // pronouns: she/they // age: 21+ // personality: INFP // autistic

active fandoms: marvel (mcu), doctor who, the boys tv, the mandalorian, the last of us (hbo), house of the dragon

favourite characters: loki, sylvie, nebula, agatha harkness, wanda, moon knight, mobius, tasm!peter parker, clara oswald, the master, the doctor, tangerine & lemon (bullet train)

favourite albums: artpop (lady gaga), the family jewels (marina), vessel (twenty one pilots), too weird to live (p!atd), rise & fall (chappell roan), all my demons (aurora)

favourite song of all time: take on me - a-ha

hobbies: making music, writing poetry, making fanfics/povs

other general info: i’m autistic, have been a tumblr user since the golden days - yes i lived through superwholock lmao. love comedies (rom-coms are a guilty pleasure). favourite marvel film is, ofc, thor ragnarok (comfort film). been a loki stan since 2012/2013. favourite sit-com has to be superstore.

why is my blog called ‘what a world for a one finned goldfish’?: it’s a reference to gus from moon knight, steven’s one-finned goldfish, but also that in a way I feel like a one-finned goldfish in this weird, scary world made for neurotypicals lol.

what is my blog?: a mess lmao. i mostly come on here to reblog, stare at gifs for hours, appreciate peoples writing, fangirl and occasionally write or make stupid text posts.

polite asks and disclaimers

- no fandom drama, no ship wars, i frankly do not care or wish to argue with strangers on the internet! personally, i think the whole thing is silly. but go off besties, just not on my posts please! be respectful. lokius & sylki shippers welcome, just be kind. i am a multi-shipper. I do not follow the drama, i keep to myself.

- i’m open to discussion and conversation, not arguments, especially when it comes to certain characters or media or whatever. it’s okay that we have different opinions. it’s okay that you may not like something and i do. i promise, it is okay.

- please do not repost without permission - as in, copy and paste… or “steal” if you will. if you are inspired by my work, credit me. that’s all i ask.

- most of my writing is sfw and gender neutral unless specified, i do not write smut. i just can’t do it, hats off to those who write it eloquently and elegantly, truly!

- let’s all be kind to one another.

PICREW IMAGE LINK // PICREW IMAGINE LINK #2

[xoluvx]

Pls help I can’t decide 🥲

* inspired by chappell roan’s ‘casual’ ofc 🤍

[averyxsims]

Hello everyone…🌿

It only seemed fitting to update my simself for my return to simblr. In case you are new here I will reintroduce myself.

Hello! My name is Avery!

Some facts about me:

23

American

I've been playing the sims for over a decade.

I've been on simblr since 2016 😳

I started as RP a simblr with my girl @jadexmallory-blog 🥰

Love whimsy and fantasy

Music taste includes Hozier, Noah Kahan, Taylor Swift, Chappell Roan, Phoebe Bridgers, Florence + the Machine, and recently, Last Dinner Party

Love to read, craft, DND, and play video games ofc 💕

I am not really sure what I want to do with this account going forward but I am feeling inspired and looking forward to catching up with new and old friends on here! 🤍🫶🏻✨

-Avery

[briskunt]

honestly? yeah I would believe you

oh hell ya bc i am surprisingly passionate about this

i’m going to be real i understand vtubing is mostly based on idols, right? but i feel like the designs of models and how hard people lean into them is very reminiscent of drag artistry because of how impossible they are irl. i regularly see fuufuuchan in different appearances or presentations—legatus, archivist, alan, all forms of ovidia just to start—and like, the experimentation of gender and presentation through different characters itches something in my head that screams character comedy king a la jarvis hammer

and it goes on too. it’s very easy to see gavis bettel as a drag king. ironmouse as a fashion queen due to her many models. i see vtubers regularly drop music, do dances once they’re 3d/on games, y’all’re two lip syncs away from a pageant sometimes i swear

of course there’s intersections as well like ike and aia being drag race fans. i love seeing those two and their interpretation of gender! because vtuber models allow fashion that wouldn’t be possible in real life as WELL as the divide between the real world (flesh) and digital (vtuber) it allows a lot of room for people to be glamorous and interpret or critique gender (and other subjects) through that. for example ike’s crossdressing in flesh and in his vrchat model isn’t with an agenda in mind but makes his audience reconsider what their own definition of masculinity is. aia’s latest outfit is very inspired by magical girls and more specifically the military (style!!!) influence of their outfits and that goes hand in hand with how the lore associated can very easily be considered a statement on mental and physical disability. and so performing her own gender in an outfit that is influenced by the magical girl genre (which gets pretty sapphic pretty fast), military style (which alludes to strength, obedience, vigilance, etc), and invisible disability is So drag dude

hm. maybe i should make a post on aia’s lore and disability idk

anyways one of those two does his own thing regardless of heteronormative rules of gender because he wants to, not because there’s any underlying message about it, and that is a valid and real performance of gender. the other has a story associated with a look that bends heteronormative gender and advocates for a cause, and that is a valid and real performance of gender. and considering how drag is ultimately a critique of gender as well as society, people, etc through gender presentation, ya. they’re doing drag

i’m a believer that lip syncs are the foundation of drag but not a requirement. drag is fundamentally entertainment in general. so that’s how you get drag artists like divine who was mostly an actress but also did music. i’d also argue chappell roan, orville peck, lady gaga, lil nas x and dolly parton also fall under the umbrella of drag bc of how they incorporate their appearance into performance, and ofc bc they were also inspired by drag

so like, when i see unnämed’s 3d debut, what is fundamentally different from adore delano singing and playing music in drag. at some point we have to recognize things like changing colors, flame effects, etc are all extremes that contribute to an overall Look

and i won’t lie, i don’t have a lot of accessible drag near me so boulet brothers’ dragula is my favorite show. so we see artists in all sorts of entertainment fields: music, stand-up, stunts, fashion, acting, dance, merchandising, modeling, comedy, art, hell even ttrpgs. i can think of more than a few vtubers that have done or regularly do these things. if you dig biqtch puddin’s digital drag show streams then boy do i have news for you, as well as the many other drag artists that do youtube or streams

and if you REALLY want to get into the gender theory of it all then porcelainmaid is RIGHT THERE.

if you see drag artistry as putting on a character then doppio dropscythe, vox akuma, twisty amanozako, fulgur ovid, and pretty much every holo vtuber would count (and to a lesser degree every corporate vtuber)

if you see drag artistry as an element of an entertainer’s performance then mori calliope, finana ryugu, ren zotto, aster arcadia and uki violeta would count

if you see drag artistry as aesthetic/style of the person behind the screen then k9kuro, quinn benet’s vtuber model, cyyu, randon neuring, and porcelainmaid would count

but the point i’m trying to get at here is that drag blends appearance and entertainment together by satirizing or emphasizing gender, right? and that can be entertaining through all sorts of mediums which includes standard vtuber activities like streams. of course it’s up to the vtuber themself to declare themself a drag artist or not but if i woke up tomorrow and saw gawr gura added “bio queen” to her twitter bio i… really would not be surprised

so if someone could edit the “after a long night of hooking” audio on top of zali’s debut lore i’d appreciate it

[toastydoll]

Stella Monroe Headcanons!

I love Stella sm and finally got her original w2 doll so here are a bunch of hcs of our fave posh cutie:

Stella LOVES drag performance. When she realizes that femininity isn’t just a performance but one she can win? That’s everything for her. She is the gaudiest loudest most over-the-top drag queen on the scene.

Her runway looks are diverse flavors of British posh. At one point she goes full Elizabeth I in white face paint, bow lips, a black drawn beauty mark, thin pencil eyebrows, and tight curls, all with a massive queenly dress. At another point she goes for a tea length gown and giant fascinator topped with flowers and fake birds. She’s always magenta and too expensive.

She loves the spice girls (posh spice is her favorite obvvvvv) but she also loves Kate bush and Chappell roan. Chappell is one of her biggest inspirations for gaudy femininity.

She’s transgender of course!! She chose her own first AND last name: stella because she’s going to be a star, Monroe for Marilyn (her idol)

Speaking of Marilyn Monroe: stella has gone as Marilyn Monroe in the diamonds are a girls best friend outfit for Halloween every year since she was a kid. It’s her favorite scene in any movie, and spawned both her love of diamonds and her love of pink. She keeps a framed Marilyn Monroe on her wall.

Stella LOVES DIAMONDS. Her parents get her diamonds for every holiday, including a new full set of earrings/necklace/bracelet for each birthday. Her favorite diamonds are white and (ofc) pink. The biggest diamond in her collection is the size of her fist and comes from a wealthy suitor she rejected.

She owns a bichon frise that she dyes hot pink with Pinkly’s pet-safe dye. Tbh it would probably be named Marilyn, but I want it to be named breakfast /ref

She’s a sugar fiend. Her family teases her lovingly about the amount of sugar she puts in her tea, since usually there’s more sugar than tea in the cup. After she’s finished drinking there’s usually a little sugar sludge at the bottom that she eats with a spoon or spread on scones.

Her favorite food is petit fours. Raspberry and strawberry are her go to, but she also loves lemon and vanilla.

She acts boy crazy, but she’s not the kind to settle down. She loves to flirt and have a string of boys on a tether but she’ll never actually do anything with them. Definitely on the aro spectrum but not romance repulsed.

Her allowance is stupid big. Tbh it’s more like she just has an unlimited credit card bc she couldn’t max it out if she tried (and boy does she try). She LOVES pampering her friends and doesn’t understand why they might not be comfortable with the amount of money she spends on them.

Stella’s dorm room is fully padded plush velvet. The floor has a giant thick magenta rug covering the majority, though the rug is mostly covered in discarded clothes shoes and bags. Her bed is canopied and four posted with heavy light blocking magenta curtains all around it. Yes, she had a chandelier installed.

She has taken twelve years of piano lessons (starting at 3). She is terrible at piano.

She has taken ten years of voice lessons (starting at 5). She is terrible at singing.

Weirdly enough though she’s really good at the harpsichord.

[pixelated-help]

can you do stuff for a songtive of pink pony club by chappel roan? pfps and faceclaims and names are most wanted, but some pronouns and stuff would also be nice :D preferably femme stuff btw!!

Ofc!! I did some faceclaims, some cool pics for pfps, and some pronouns!!! You will be: pink pony nonnie!

♱　　pink pony club inspired pronouns, faceclaims and pfps:

Pronouns: She/her, pink/pinks, po/pony, dis/disco, glitter/glitters, da/dance, sh♡/h♡r, 🦄/🦄s, ✨️/✨️s, 🪩/🪩s

Faceclaims:

Some fun pfp:

[nevercasualles]

Name: inspired by Chappell Roan😚💐

Age: 23

Aquarius, Sagittarius moon, Leo rising

Femme4Femme

Lesbian

Into Oil painting, Sewing, Stardew Valley, Girls (ofc)