#correction: THE SPACE GAYS
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necrotic-nephilim · 11 months ago
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@profandomhopper i was going to reblog the original post this comment was left on but i felt it divorced itself from the original topic so much, you get your own post for giving me delightful permission to ramble about this. buckle in people this is long.
so, DC is a big fandom that expanses a lot of different types of content, and like anything, is subject to crossovers. the obvious ones like Marvel are for the reason of being a similar and equally popular superhero world, so it's easy to transpose the worlds onto each other and overlap the characters. both of these worlds deal with multiverses and endless, endless heroes. it makes sense and there's no real stretch to think Batman and Spider-Man could co-exist. i mean, there have been canon crossover comics. and even some more random crossovers like White Collar have pretty easy to trace origins, being an actor in WC was a popular Dick fancast back in the day so there was some bleeding over that led to a well-loved niche crossover space.
but Danny Phantom and Miraculous Ladybug are where it gets interesting. because at a surface, MLB sort of makes sense. it's a superhero world, you're following a teen girl superhero and sure the mechanics are pretty contained, but the crossover should make sense. but when you compare it to the crossover numbers of other superhero media like say My Hero Academia, Ladybug takes the *crown* with such a bizarre popularity. and of course, DP feels like it makes even less sense. sure, you *could* lump it into at the very least, superhero-adjacent media, but it's not a true hero world like MLB or DC is.
but, the thing to always understand about DC, *especially* the Batfamily (which is where the crossover content propagates the most) is this: a *very* good chunk of fans don't interact with the comics. i would venture to say even most Batfamily fans don't read the comics and actively talk about it. we've all read a very fandom big Batfam fanfic where the author's note mentions the writer has never touched a comic in their life. typically, these fans are either cobbling together their understanding from fandom content, or by frankensteining unrelated DC adaptations to understand each character. you take Bruce from Batman: TAS, you take Dick from the animated Young Justice, you take Jason from Batman: Under The Red Hood animated movie, you take Damian from the DCAMU Batman vs Robin, and you read some fandom metas to fill in the rest and well, you've got some sort of an understanding of these characters. read enough incorrect quotes, some genfic, a couple of character metas, and boom, you understand the Batfamily fandom enough to start creating your own content. and of course now. now you have Wayne Family Adventures so it's even *easier*. a pretty easy to pick up webtoon that's filling in all the gaps for you. but i've been in this fandom long enough to remember before we had WFA and even then, this was still a common, if not the most popular way, to ween yourself into the DC fandom space. you cherry-picked the canon you liked and then plunged into the depths of fanon.
i'm not here to make in depth commentary on if i think this is a good or bad thing. trust me i have that commentary in my head, but that would need it's own post. i'm very split on it and my feelings are complicated. my feelings on WFA are even *more* complicated. because oftentimes, the attitude expressed by these fans who are frankensteining this version of the Batfamily/DC world they have in their head is they don't *want* to read the comics. the comics don't contain the content they're after. and to an extent, i understand that. if you're looking for light-hearted vibes of the Batfamily all getting along and having the occasional hurt/comfort moments but in the end, they hug and make up, you're right. largely, you won't find that in canon. of course there are so many comics to recommend for Batfamily interactions, but you have to get specific. you'll find them interacting in small groups, Tim and Dick bonding here, Duke and Cass bonding there, but largely, the comics don't care to balance the ridiculously large cast they've given themselves. but fandom does. it's easy to toss them all in a blender and ignore the parts you don't like. the default argument to ignoring the comics or writing something OOC is always "well the comics are OOC and inconsistent too" which, while a flawed argument that massively misunderstand how comics work as a medium, isn't an entirely incorrect one. you could serve on a silver platter to these fans, an easy and accessible way to get into comics and they wouldn't be interested. it's not what they're here for. fandom is always character-driven above all else. it's driven by character relationships and dynamics. if someone wants to consume content where Tim idolized and stalked Jason as 'his Robin' and now is trying to help him rehabilitate and they're super complicated but have this long epic forgiveness arc, why *would* they read the comics? because they're sure as shit not going to find that dynamic in the comics. it's laughably OOC and not canon at all, but that doesn't matter. what matters is the sandbox. most Batfamily fans care *far* more about the sandbox canon gives them than the actual canon itself. feel how you feel about that, this really isn't being negative toward that attitude, but it is a common attitude.
so, you have Batfamily fans playing in the sandbox and building their own narrative. common fandom headcanons are so common, you could practically write a guide on how the fanon Batfamily works with how consistent people are about it. or you could just read WFA, which is practically the new manifesto of it. even now, with this sudden spike in people talking about canon accuracy and "actually this happening in the comics", they don't actually care about the comics, just what they can cherry-pick for fodder. (even if they rob it of so much context they're just as OOC as they were before. see specifically: the recent phenomena with Tim Drake going from the woobified weakest member of the Batfam who everyone needs to save constantly and he's the smart boy but he's also the one with a sad tragic neglectful past who gets overlooked being the way Batfamily fandom played with Tim for years. but recently, people seem to be pushing this idea of a ridiculously badass Tim, Tim who *totally* has a kill count because of his actions in RR (2009) if you take them completely out of context, Tim who bested Ra's and is even more badass than Jason and he's the 17 yr old CEO of Wayne Industries being cool and flawless it becoming the new fandom zeitgeist. neither of these versions of Tim are canon, and the second fundamentally misunderstands his arc in RR (2009) but the shift has undeniably happened and it's been fascinating to watch. the same thing happened with people suddenly deciding Jason isn't the "angry violent Robin", he was a sunshine sweet boy who was perfect as Robin. neither of these are true, but the second feels more transgressive and new to fandom from cherry-picked panels.) the point is largely, Batfamily fans would rather build their own canon than play with the actual canon.
and then, you have Danny Phantom. i'm not into DP and have no interest to get into it, but what i know about it via fandom osmosis is this: DP fans sort of also don't give a fuck about canon. once again, the canon of DP is a sandbox, not a rulebook. the concepts and the characters are the draw, not the plot itself. i've seen DP posts explaining characters who are essentially OCs, but have become so dominant in the fandom via fandom osmosis. there are concepts and ideas about how Danny's powers work and potential concepts with his ghost nature that either aren't in canon or only happened once in canon and fans decided to expand on that and doesn't care about it's own in-universe logic. i've seen a lot of DP fans also express they haven't seen the show and they don't have plans to see the show. because the show is just some children's cartoon with some inconsistencies and a simple plot, as you'd expect from CN. the show isn't the point. no one cares about it's plot, they care about it's characters. they care about pushing the concept of half ghost boy to a logical extreme and seeing what you can get out of that. can you make it weird and fucked up. how much can you highlight on his trauma and body horror. what identity crisis can you give him and how can you build his interactions with other characters in his world around that and also make those characters fun and unique on their own. sure, the skeleton of canon is there, but the meat lies all in the fanon.
Miraculous Ladybug also exists in this similar vein. the characters, the concepts, those hold intrigue. and not even mentioning the fact the original concept for this show was supposed to be aimed to an older audience, so you can see the bones of something a bit more mature and nuanced under this typical, villain of the week magical girl transformation show. the show itself is a bit shallow and that's not a *bad* thing, it's just the medium it exists within being aimed towards children. but the concepts of a teen girl who's basically a sort of chosen one, a boy who doesn't know his father is the big bad of the show, and their weird identity porn love... square thing. those dynamics are *so* complicated and such a fun sandbox to play in with character-driven fandom.
so, at the core, you have three fandoms that care more about the culturally accepted fanon than the canon, with a good chunk of people often not even consuming the original canon content. and well, DC is an *easy* world to transpose just about anything onto. a boy who's half ghost and fighting supernatural threats? that makes sense, DC has ghost heroes like Deadman already. a girl who has this magical item that gives her animal themed superpowers? i mean that's practically the same thing as Vixen's Totem so that one makes sense too. they fit in pretty easy, no needing to change the world to accommodate them. and of course, if you're a fan of *one* fandom where you don't care for the canon content and only like the fandom sandbox, chances are, you'll get drawn in pretty easily to another fandom with similar mechanics. if you can teach yourself the DP fandom rules/concepts, you can teach yourself the Batfamily fandom rules/concepts. and well, since there's so much crossover in fandom members, why not write the fanfiction? crossover fics will always exist, but with such a shared member base, you have a really big boom.
it's why the characters you see DP interact with in DC are *always* characters who are far more driven by fanon than canon. Danny and John Constantine is a *massive* concept. for people who don't read Hellblazer comics. my poor partner, @divine-dominion has lamented to me pretty often about finding DP content in the Hellblazer tag that is essentially turning Constantine into an OC. because whatever version of Constantine is being written about isn't one bit comics accurate, and really, isn't trying to be. and the same thing happens with Shazam. you watch Young Justice and understand him well enough, you get drawn in by the character concept that you just run with it. people put their favorite blorbos in the same place because hey, wouldn't ghost boy be pretty cool in a city like *Gotham*. how would Batman even react to him. and then, the shipping. because ages for the Batfamily can be easily hand-waved and moved around based on where you plop Danny into the timeline, you have your pick of the litter with him, and same with Ladybug. of course there are the most popular ships but largely, the world is your oyster.
i don't think this is the worst thing in the world for either fandom. it's not hard to filter out the crossover tags and scroll past content i don't like. and sure, i see the appeal of making your blorbos from two different places meet. i've got my drafts *full* of DC/MHA crossover ideas because well, i like them both and think that would be cool. i think my only gripe with it is when DP or MLB crossover content seeps it's way into the wrong tags. using the above example, if you're writing about Danny and Constantine but there's zero content of the actual Hellblazer comics, i don't think you need the Hellblazer tag, just the Constantine character tag. tbh i wish this extended onto Ao3 and people utilized fandom tags better. if you're writing Batfamily fanfiction that is very clearly and obviously WFA driven in characterization and concepts, i would far prefer those fics be tagged with the WFA fandom tag rather than the Batman (comics) fandom tag. because well, you're not writing about the Batman comics. and there's nothing wrong with that, but it helps if you don't confuse yourself for content striving to interact with canon more. (this especially extends to Young Justice, by the way. if you're writing for the Young Justice tv show please, please stop using the Young Justice (comics) fandom tag. i'm at my wit's end- /lh)
the whole thing is fascinating. i've got zero interest in entering DP or MLB as fandoms because that's not my speed, but witnessing it as an outsider is my favorite pastime. i see a *lot* of posts going around the DC x DP space that are helping explain to people who's who, what's what, and understanding the canon/fanon of both of these properties so others can better enter the space. which is not something you'd need in a fandom driven only by it's canon content, but it is sweet watching others try to help newbies enter the space. it's a very inviting fandom space, i think, whether you lament it's existence or not. they're just sitting in their corner with their blorbos, and i gotta respect that. the posts explaining the Batfamily to DP fans are always fun for me to read, even if i disagree with some of the characterizations in them because it helps shine a light on what the fans of this crossover regard as "important" enough about each fandom to be worth including those sorts of primers. very fascinating stuff.
#necrotic festerings#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#dc x mlb#danny phantom#miraculous ladybug#batfamily#dc comics#fandom meta#fandom analysis#but i can totally write more of these analysis type posts bc i *love* this shit#it's like fandom anthropology#fan studies#love that shit and i have *so* many case studies i could write about cultural phenomena in the batfamily fandom space#bc you can tell by my. everything i'm a comics purist#but i'm not totally negative to fanon#i roll my eyes. I cringe. I send long rants to my loved ones.#but i live and let live and i'm not going to jump down a fanon post for being painfully incorrect. it's just mean and not how we behave.#like there's a difference that and between correcting ppl who say 'in the comics-' when they haven't read the comics#but most ppl aren't claiming their content is based on the comics. and i can respect that honesty#like you're just rawdogging it#i understand the appeal of it. seriously no shade it's a fun sandbox if you just want cool blorbos.#it's *not* how I do fandom but to each their own#and ofc i want comic accurate fanfic but i can find that on my own. it's not hard to do#some comic purists act like there's *no* comic fandom content and come on now.#it's pretty easy to tell the difference when you're scrolling ao3. let's not be unkind to content not made for us.#but i'm serious please do stay out of comic tags if you're not writing comic content. it's my only gripe with this whole thing.#besides that be gay be free.#be cringe. it's freeing i promise.#i jest about being sick of that green ghost boy and that ladybug girl in fandom but it's all silly. i really don't mind.
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charleemoon · 2 months ago
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don't talk to me if you majorly dislike any of the bau for seeing will as nothing more than a case consult. will intentionally and purposefully makes himself unavailable to others to the point that their only way of connecting with him half the time is over a case. i guarantee you they have tried time and time again to invite him to things, start conversation, and he hits them with "we're at work." katz, zeller, and price foster a very lighthearted, inviting workspace that you see him both emotionally and literally PHYSICALLY distance himself from. i'm sure there's plenty of things they could've done, more of something. people see what they want to in will, pieces of him. a tool, an advisor, something to pity, something to understand. a dog who is trained to hunt, yet fitted with a muzzle. but will is what stands in his own way of human connection, every time. too afraid of what rests beneath his surface
#i just think its a very complex thing his relationships#but i dont think any of the bau are bad people. nor is will entirely a victim of anyone in his life#. except maybe jack#but will's need to be good is a self fulfilling torture cycle#his guilt motivates him. it consoles him. it torments him#jack isnt too concerned with why. but knows will cant say no. and he uses that against him#he also is one of the only people who is close enough to almost see him#hes complicated. theyre complicated#but will is aware of his own choices and always makes them#will LETS people see him for his use. for his bits and pieces. the parts of him that work for them. lets them discard the ones that dont#because its safer. its better for everyone. if someone gets too much of him they might start to put it together. see what he is#and ALSO. WILL USES PEOPLE TOO. very often does he interact with people based on their benefit to him#attracted to alana because he wants a sense of control. molly for her grief her comforting normalcy#his low empathy and lack of social connections... his AUTISM. he's very absorbed in his own life and struggles#we dont really see him make space for anything else#and i dont think he wants to for a longtime. until. until (gay man manifests in the room) hes right behind me isnt he#honestly correct me if im wrong because ive seen it ONCE and i cannot remember their interactions as well as i should#just. hannibal side characters get behind me. when you look at the things hannigram gets up to and think about their place in it holyyy shi#like leave them alone they already have to live with those gay men#hannibal#will graham#bau team#hannibal meta#also this isnt like. actually that serious igdaf if you have a different opinion than me. media is interpretable#and your experience with it will be individual and different than mine because we are different people#go forth my fannibal. have your own opinions and likes#i just dont like when people victimize will more than is necessary. that man is . hes something okay#charlieog#also i really like to think of them all as friends but tbh will does NOT fuck with their vibe half the time hes so rude#hes like ugh. everyone is so boring. i am going to go flirt with my psychiatrist who i think is gaslighting me
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mattzerella-sticks · 1 year ago
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When Eddie comes out as gay the funniest thing Buck can do is set him up on a blind date with Josh only for Buck to learn too late that Josh and Eddie don't like each other.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 11 months ago
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omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!
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#& [it might be 5am but i'll still see if i can draw some] trackpad homemade reacts. inhales & hands to head/face x9 then walking off#site giving pretty random Suggested assortment there where i was like oh right sure. prob not tumblr keywords captures lmaooo#(plus happened to have it open in firefox) but my god Not the scapegoated literal seers lmfao. whoooo. my god#also it was just really good anyways like right nice. damn#the (queerrr) seerrr the perceiverrr the truth tellerrr the ruinerrr the scapegoat be-errr the internalizerrr the neurodivergerrr#& now i Know there is 0% chance ppl weren't putting ''always a gay cousin or it's you (avuncular edition)'' in that thing#family tree design not even leaving space for the hypothetical kids of this relative we mostly pretend is nonexistent hmm#also that necessarily. it's giving all intents & purposes Disability abt a dozen ways & it's saying [accept that] vs [we'd better fix him]#you don't cite said [it's giving disability] as part of the We All Hate The Horrible Little Freak scapegoating justification & then be like#''actually we don't have to do that anymore b/c he's sooo normal :)'' or not if you're serious about [don't scapegoat your family] anyways#which like oh ok they Are serious so The Weirdo's scapegoating / casting out / lack of support Isn't justified#so he's still weird & you just gotta get over that b/c otherwise. bye. having a natural rat affinity is such a slay btw#& we've all been there like ''you NEVER want two scapegoats talking it's Over if they do'' + littlest kid is like um. they're the best#plankton voice Correct! inhale i'm so impressed like. getting to go ''finally someone Normal'' (serious abt letting someone Be Weird(tm))#which also always counts as like mm hard time suggesting someone's Not queer & also autistic for a start lmao. an award#adding in suggested layers like talking to oneself; talking Oddly / w difficulty; physical uncoordination; rituals ; acting; animal friend#the layer of ''& all that's fine? like?'' again rather than him ever suppressing or even changing it so far as it's suggested#besides that it's observed as Weird like but so? or else what? nonrhetorical: hostility / rescinded support & driving someone off is what?#& that Truth like the [worse treatment / exclusion / scapegoat] oft recipe for someone giving the support they're not getting themself#again Never let the [ppl both experiencing this] talk oh it's So over. or the child who's all i like family support & kindness actuallyy...#obviously also like the complete opposite of billions. knowing what they're about & letting this Just As Beloved crucial guy be So Weird#but billions Also [hmm feels right for our scapegoated guy to Perceive / Tell Truths / openly want/need & then be hurt] now get his ass#anyway [guy who could always go way on could go way on but only has thirty tags & it's 6am & i still mean to try some drawing] voice#remarkable amt of So True & ''it feels like ppl on the same page w/exactly what they're doing are all behind this''#remarkable amount of concentrated My God That Is So A Slay located in bruno all at once. what a gift#sticking to ''sometimes someone In Your Group is Weird. Disabled. deal'' firmly enough there's no ;) oh u can bet we'll Fix Him in the end#everyone always assumes the worst so....me when i'm [always as a kid yearning for Living In Secret Passages]. emile gtmpota?#oh congrats to whatever rando who will be having his dramatic gay reunion w/bruno just out of frame obviously. i perceive#now imagine if That rando was....emile gtmpota! what a crossover event. haunting4haunting. do i have enough tags for this lmao. yea#& having 1 more tag to say: as though the [endless serving] isn't enough bruno's also as close to gender envy as it gets. incl rats; sure
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lesbicastagna · 2 years ago
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looove seeing ppl online talk about shojo cause you can distinguish those who are very taken with the #feminism #girlcore aspect of it so they're like why is so much shojo about age gaps problematic relationships 😟🤢 read nana 💗💗
vs shojo hard-core fans that are making polls like best sa scene in patalliro? 🧐🗣☝🏻
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burningfaith · 4 months ago
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god please let me shoot every person who mischaracterizes Mydei as either an edgelord or a misogynist and reduces his character to just being a fujobait or else 👊🏻👊🏻
I can't stand these imbeciles anymore, hoyo fans are not beating "being dumb af" allegations as usual
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specialagentartemis · 1 year ago
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“Which fictional universe would you rather live in—“ Star Trek. Star Trek. There is a correct answer and it’s Star Trek. “I want to have cool adventures—“ Star Trek. “I want to live in high tech but ethical peace and comfort” Star Trek. “I want to be a psychic alien—“ Star Trek. “But I want to do magic—“ do you know how much weird magic shit happens in Star Trek. Also Star Trek has holodecks you can pretend to be in Lord of the Rings or Star Wars or whatever and then come home to your usually peaceful interstellar community. There are basically no downsides to living in the Star Trek universe if you take the assumption that you remain you, a human living on Earth. You can join Starfleet or you can stay home and enjoy fully automated luxury gay space communism. The answer is Star Trek.
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morganbritton132 · 4 months ago
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Steve isn’t the first person that Will comes out to but he’s definitely top five and it’s completely by accident. So now, Jonathan’s talking to him like -
“Wait, are you threatening me?” Steve asks, tuning back into the conversation after spacing out five minutes ago. “Because of Will?”
“Um, yeah? Kinda.”
“Wow, I’m not like…I’m not that. I’m cool with gay people. You know I love-“ He realizes that Jonathan doesn’t know Robin is a lesbian and course corrects - “Spock.”
“Spock? From Star Trek??”
“Yeah, obviously. Big gay, that guy. He wears eyeshadow.”
“Because he’s an alien,” Jonathan says, completely off topic now. “Not because he’s gay.”
“Okay, well. He’s dating Kirk too. That’s kinda gay. It’s in the books.”
“What books?”
Steve rolls his eyes and ducks behind the counter at Family Video for his backpack. He pulls out a thin bundle of papers and shove them at Jonathan.
Jonathan looks at them like, “This is a magazine…I don’t think this is an actual publication.”
“Okay? Well, Kirk and Spock bone in there so, you know. I’m not going to make fun of your brother.”
Steve goes back to stocking shelves for a second and then says, “Mike though?”
“I know.”
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king-sassy08 · 1 year ago
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Some people will say shit like put a space and a hyphen and also capitalize a very specific letter but NOT the first one when discussing gay trans queer etc people or else you're a TERF and EVIL! and it's like. Or how about I'm a lazy typer. My auto correct put these caps and apostrophes in. How about I don't really know what kind of hyper specific fixation you guys have on my typing patterns but when I say a word I just mean. That word. And it's not a thing to me and you guys are gatekeeping who can be in your community and telling people just navigating having a sibling who is queer that they're homophobic and transphobic and they should kill themselves. Have you guys considered going outside to look at grass. Maybe you won't be so angry
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croquettish · 2 months ago
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Sexuality, Acceptability, Risk, and Medieval Bohemia
Someone commented on my Hansry fic recently about how a good number of fics in this fandom apparently feature the sort of modern protestant homophobia emblematic of the United States. This was baffling to me.
More recently I've seen a bit of backlash against this rather normative, America-centric approach to the historical homophobia (deeply entrenched in Catholicism, mind you) that they would have been subject to back then. And, as is quite normal with the internet, naturally the pendulum has swung way too far in the other direction. Jokes were made and then taken seriously by others. I've now seen sentiments floating around like "oh they wouldn't have cared at all," (not on tumblr) which is wild to me.
My doctoral studies have to do with queerness in the High Middle Ages, so seeing as I've spent the last several years of my life living on archive.org, knee-deep in this research, I feel like it's my academic responsibility to correct the record some. As usual, the answer lies somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.
All my sources are listed in the text (in the case of art) or at the very end of the post. For those of you just interested in what all of this means for Hansry, feel free to jump down to the purple heading.
I will start by saying that the "queer medieval utopia" you're looking for didn't exist. The closest you're going to get to that is the late 11th century / early 12th century, and even then there were limits to this general social acceptability. Paris and Florence were commonly considered to be gay dens of iniquity by people outside of those places, but even that was a bit of an exaggeration.
So where does this misconception come from?
Within the Catholic landscape, the body was considered separate from the spirit. Only one's "mystic sensorium" was supposed to be involved in spiritual intercourse with Christ and each other, and the overlap of the real and the ideal was… problematic at times, a genuine threat to chastity. Physical affection was meant to not broach certain limits. Kissing was acceptable. Metaphors were acceptable. In ancient Christianity, it was normal for women to kiss other women and for men to kiss other men as part of mass in the name of exchanging the kiss of peace, the pax. The idea here was to meet with the Spirit of Christ. Ambrose likened it to "lovers who, unsatisfied with the mere enjoyment of the lips, kiss so deeply as to interchange their spirits with one another." Which is all well and good, but this leaves a lot of leeway. How much physical affection was considered acceptable?
Anselm, the closest thing we have to a gay man of this time, would write things like this, in this case a letter addressed to two biological brothers that he hoped to join him in the monastic life:
"My eyes long to see your faces most beloved; my arms stretch out to your embraces; my lips long for your kisses; whatever remains to me of life desires your company . . . . Oh, how my love burns in my marrow . . . . [In coming to Bec] you have fused my soul with yours. If you now leave me, our joint soul will be torn apart, it can never again become two."
He had never met them before, nor should this suggest that they were about to enter a sexual relationship. In fact, around this time we see quite a few such expressions of affection coming out of the monastic space. Alcuin, writing to Arno of Salzburg, felt entirely comfortable writing that his love could not be prevented, even in the face of death, from licking Arno's innermost parts, a reference here (most likely) to Christ's side wound. In another letter, Alcuin is even more overt:
"It is exquisitely sweet to remember your love and intimacy, holy father; I wish the dear moment would come when I might embrace the shoulders of your love with the arms of my longing for you. . . . with what speedy hands I would rush into your fatherly embrace, with what pressing lips I would kiss not only your eyes and ears and mouth, but each knuckle of each finger, of each toe, not once, but many, many times!"
It would be extremely easy to assume that these letters suggested more than meets the eye, but historically speaking, as far as we know, this was not the case. Because this level of affection was considered to be in line with the "Christian" thing to do between brothers (no, I'm not joking). And there were harsh punishments if you breached these limits. Bear in mind, these letters could easily be seen by others!
Moreover, it should be noted that we don't see this level of affection outside of the monastic space (though it does still come up, albeit to a much lesser extent). You can think of it as code switching, essentially. Verbiage that would be considered insanely sexual in one space would not be considered as such within a monastic context prior to the shift in the 12th century.
Some scholars suggested that the use of such language implies ignorance or naivety about how this physical affection could look to the outside world, but we do know that Anselm at one point became worried enough that he might be misunderstood that he censored himself after leaving Bec for Canterbury. Even if his inclinations were chaste, he knew they could be viewed through the lens of homosexuality.
The ideal sexual state for a person to be in at this time was rooted in asceticism: chastity in the face of desire. You'd think asexuality would be a quick workaround for that, but unfortunately the lack of desire would just mean a lack of necessary effort on that person's part. Bear in mind, suffering is what's rewarded here. A gay man plagued with homosexual desires is just being tested by God. By denying himself those desires, he's rising in the ranks of holiness. A great example of this is Brother Lucas from KCD1:
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According to the Rule of Pachomius, kissing boys on the lips was forbidden and punished by whipping, imprisonment, fasting, shaving, and six months of humiliation. In Fructuosus of Braga's Rule, a monk kissing or even being "too attentive to young men or boys would result in a very similar six month sentence as well as six additional months of manual labor, separated from his brethren, always under watch of at least two spiritual brothers. Never again was he allowed to enjoy private conversation or companionship with those younger than him.
"But Tam!" you might say. "This is just about monks! What about real people?"
I'm so glad you asked! Because we know that as well!
Penitentials, which were quite in vogue until around the 11th century and then again after the passing of Lateran IV in the early 13th century, were very punishing of all manner of sexuality, but especially homosexual acts, and, among them, especially oral sex. (The mouth is considered, to a certain extent, sacred. Don't ask me why, that alone is like twenty pages in my dissertation, though I could be lowballing tbh.) The Penitential of Theodore punishes it with 7 years of harsh penance and 15 years if the practice is habitual. Sometimes, however, it was "until the end of life" and considered to be the "worst evil," worse than fornication with one's mother. Harsh!
Ye olde penitentials were used as guidelines for later confession as well as those from before the 12th century. Conveniently for us, the late, great James A. Brundage came up with a fantastic chart/guide on when and how it was acceptable to have sex at all:
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Did people follow this? My god, absolutely not. We wouldn't have the confessional records if this wasn't a problem in the realm of ~sin. But the guidelines were there and expected to be adhered to.
Don't get me wrong, the late 11th / early 12th century was a watershed moment in history in terms of overall acceptability of queerness, a time when Ovid and other Ovidian literature flourished. Punishments were rarely enforced. But the come-down from that era led us to a very rough landing. Lateran III kicked off the official canon ratification of outlawing homosexuality explicitly, and this, together with the outlawing of clerical marriage and the sudden flourishing of courtly love as a genre, led to a very dramatic shift in society from homosocial to heterosexual (which is, incidentally, what my dissertation is about).
The long 12th century was a red letter event in terms of history, not least because some of history's most notorious homophobes spread their ideas like wildfire. I am, of course, talking about Alain de Lille, renowned author of De planctu Naturae ("The Complaint of Nature"), which reminded everyone that homosexuality was against nature, and Peter Damian, who doesn't even deserve being commented on. The idea of homosexuality being "against nature" was far from new. The early church fathers like Augustine and Jerome condemned it pretty outrightly, and in the 13th century St. Thomas Aquinas was more than happy to further entrench the idea. Here, sodomy disrupts nature so much as to dissolve the soul.
We saw this in literature as well. Dante's Divine Comedy (early 14th c) slapped sodomites into the 7th layer of hell, but a real standout here is the Debate Between Ganymede and Helen, where the two have a very lengthy argument wherein she convinces Ganymede (often associated with homosexuality) that heterosexuality is infinitely superior to the alternative. She throws in such lovely arguments as insisting that he at least respect Nature, that he's been deceived by well-disguised filth, that he's been squandering his love between the thighs of men, and that he's been treating himself like human garbage as a result. In the end, he suddenly sees his crime for what it is, and the gods agree with him, stating that they've now also come to their senses. Sodomy is thus left behind by the gods and the choir swells in cheer at this tremendous success.
Canon law more or less exclusively had its grubby little fingers in the pies of what was and wasn't deemed acceptable in terms of sex until about the early-14th c, while afterward the government was delighted to also get involved in your bedroom activities. Particularly in the late 14th century homosexuality was increasingly legislated against, and in increasingly brutal ways at that. This wonderful and not at all problematic marriage of church and state is how we ended up with the Trials of the Knights Templar.
Let's say you're King Philip IV. The people have been revolting, you're running low on funds, you owe the Templars as it is, and you have a penchant for pogroms. You want money and land. What do you do? Well, naturally you write a letter to the pope about how you have all these horrible suspicions about these people you employ and who have come to your aid quite often!
Boy, oh boy! Wasn't that a fun time for them. Before, they'd been well-respected and well-off, supported by the king, with zero doubt in their respectability. Naturally, it all came tumbling down with that letter. Because the investigation was ready to find them at fault for something no matter what, under pain of torture of course. There's a particularly striking letter from a father to his daughter, written during the Bamberg witch trials (much later), wherein he explained that, after a particularly rough torture session, the executioner pulled him aside and told him this: "Sir, I beg you, for God's sake confess something, whether it be true or not. Invent something, for you cannot endure the torture which you will be put to; and, even if you bear it all, yet you will not escape, not even if you were an earl, but one torture will follow after another until you say you are a witch. Not before that will they let you go, as you may see by all their trials, for one is just like another."
Were the Templars recreationally homosexual? Maybe. For their sake, I sure hope so, because then they might have at least had some fun before going out. But either way, they were arrested, their territory, funds, and belongings seized, were convicted of heresy, sodomy, and black magic, and eventually burned at the stake. Two men were later burned at the stake as relapsed heretics after saying that they'd only confessed under duress and were actually innocent.
It even led to fun art like this one in 1350:
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De Longuyon, Jacques. Voeux du Paon Manuscript. 1350. Morgan Library and Museum, New York. G.24 fol. 70r.
It was also around this time also that homosexuality was increasingly associated not only with heresy, but also with bestiality, suggesting that this crime against nature was effectively also a crossing of special boundaries (species-based, not extraordinary). In line with this, while homage to one's liege used to be sworn with a kiss on the lips (!!), over the course of the 14th century that was summarily done away with as well in a change that quite frankly swept across Europe (and we all wept).
In 1327, Edward II, who had a few boyfriends, was supposedly murdered by having a red hot poker shoved up his rectum. Even if this didn't happen, the chroniclers wanted us to believe it, and knowing what we do about Edward's sexual proclivities, it seems like this was a Statement if nothing else.
Where Bologna used to punish homosexuality with a fine, after the late 13th century the punishment was death by burning. The Portuguese, meanwhile, castrated convicted homosexuals and then, three days later, had them hanged by the feet until dead. In Siena, death by hanging was also the answer, but in this case, it was hanging by the dick until dead (not kidding). A particularly horrifying case was this one, happening just six years after when KCD canon takes place:
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Which reminds us that this was most likely an issue that very much associated the clergy (known to be corrupt, especially around this time!). You'll recall the little comments made about this in the game, like Godwin casually committing heresy in front of the whole crew. "Do you think you need a priest for God to hear you?" Well geez, Godwin, according to the Catholic Church, you sure as shit fucking do! What a fantastic and not at all risky thing to say!
(Sidenote, this one is particularly upsetting to me personally in a fandom context because, not only is Augsburg not far from Bohemia, it really reminds me of the many associations between Hans and a caged bird.)
All of which isn't to say that sodomy didn't take place. Boy did it fucking ever. A great example of this comes from out of Switzerland, where, in 1475, a priest reportedly told his lover that "if everybody who committed [the act of sodomy] was burnt at the stake, not even fifty men would survive in Basel." ("Vnd solt man alle die so das tuend verbrennen, es bliben nit funffzig mannen jn Basel.") So, 1% of Basel. This is almost certainly a massive fucking exaggeration that this man pulled out of his ass in order to convince his partner that sodomy is fine, actually, but it does tell us something about the perception, if not the actual prevalence of sodomy in urban centers. (So, you know, if anyone needs to justify that Jadder have fucked at least once, if not more… when in Kuttenberg...)
It should be noted that Basel was very lax in terms of punishing homosexuality, but that was by and large not the most common outcome, as homosexuality was generally associated with divine punishment (I'm sure you've heard that drivel yourself before even in the modern day). Hilariously, it was the generally held belief that if someone learned of "the vice against nature" they'd naturally want to do it, and so priests were advised never to talk about it, even to preach.
So then, what does this mean for Hansry and co?
It means that this was at worst very much a fucking crime that you could very much be convicted for, in brutal fucking fashion at times, and at best the quiet part that you don't say out loud. But even then, it was fucking risky. Riskier if you're a member of the clergy (do recall how worried Brother Lucas was about his secret getting out, despite having never committed the sin himself), but risky even if you're not. All you have to do to see this reflected in canon is to look at Barnaby, the herbalist/hermit. As he explained it, he turned down a girl, she complained to her brother, and "he put two and two together":
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Remember how I said that homosexuality was increasingly associated with bestiality? I find Barnaby's word choice fascinating here. Animals like him.
Of course, he beat them up and thus... uh, was able to survive:
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Not that it didn't massively affect his quality of life. There's a reason he's a hermit! After all, he was unwelcome no matter where he went, no doubt because the brother and his friends ensured that this knowledge spread:
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You might say, oh, it's different among the nobility! And to a certain extent, you're correct. Talking to the scribe in Troskowitz, he at one point gets to a part in the story about George the Lion of Wartenberg where he says this:
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And then later, at the banquet where Hans loses his mind from jealousy, it comes up quite a lot in the conversation with Black Bartosch. First, he brings up Florian of Lomnitz:
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And then, of course, we get the legendary conversation that follows, where the comment about Florian's sexuality makes Henry question Bartosch about his own:
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It's soooo subtle. So, so easy to turn to plausible deniability. If anyone questions it, you can easily argue that your intentions were entirely chaste. And Henry can ignore it or even outright respond with a claim of heterosexuality:
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But he can't question it like he can with the scribe:
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Where the scribe then brushes it off as nothing and refuses to elaborate:
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Even here this is a case of IYKTYK, like homosexuality is a club and in order to enter you have to know what's up. Because if you don't know and have to be informed, that presents a risk, namely that of suspicion being cast on you. Why do you know this information? What were you doing at this sodomitical devil's sacrament?
Honestly, at least among the nobility I'd liken it a bit to prohibition, but on a much less... widespread level. Oh, and literally everyone and anyone could be a cop. You could get away with it until you were caught. The risk was just a lot more pronounced. Even with Edward II the consequence of the very accurate rumors surrounding his sex life was public denunciation and possibly a poker up his ass. And if you're a noble involved with a commoner, multiply the risk exponentially, which is unfortunately relevant for both Hansry and Jamuel. If it really was as casually acceptable as some people claim it to have been (again, not on tumblr, I'm not here to stir up drama), I think Henry wouldn't have necessarily pushed Hans away, nor do I think they would have been as careful in their end-game conversation about what they do and don't say.
If anyone has any questions on this, tangentially-related topics, my sources, or literally anything else, by all means feel free to ask. I have the resources at my fingertips and the research very much at the forefront of my mind and will for the foreseeable future. On request, I've also added a list of further reading after my list of sources if anyone is curious to learn more of this for themselves.
Sources used:
Abraham, Erin V. Anticipating Sin in Medieval Society: Childhood, Sexuality, and Violence in the Early Penitentials, Amsterdam University Press, 2021
Anselm. The Letters of Saint Anselm of Canterbury. Translated by Walter Fröhlich, Cistercian Publications, 1990.
Brundage, James A. Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe. University of Chicago Press, 1987.
Dronke, Peter. Medieval Latin and the Rise of the European Love-Lyric, Vol. 1, Oxford University Press, 1965.
Major, J. Russell. “‘Bastard Feudalism’ and the Kiss: Changing Social Mores in Late Medieval and Early Modern France.” The Journal of Interdisciplinary History, vol. 17, no. 3, 1987, pp. 509–35. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/204609. 
Mills, Robert. Seeing Sodomy in the Middle Ages. University of Chicago Press, 2015
Moore, R. I. The War on Heresy: Faith and Power in Medieval Europe. Profile Books, 2014.
Murray, Jacqueline, and Konrad Eisenbichler, editors. Desire and Discipline: Sex and Sexuality in the Premodern West. University of Toronto Press, 1996.
Perella, Nicolas J. The Kiss Sacred and Profane: An Interpretative History of Kiss Symbolism and Related Religio-Erotic Themes. University of California Press, 1969.
Puff, Helmut. “Localizing Sodomy: The ‘Priest and Sodomite’ in Pre-Reformation Germany and Switzerland.” Journal of the History of Sexuality, vol. 8, no. 2, 1997, pp. 165–95. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/3704215.
Puff, Helmut. Lust, Angst Und Provokation: Homosexualität in Der Gesellschaft. Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, 1993.
Southern, R.W., Saint Anselm: A Portrait in a Landscape, Cambridge University Press, 1990.
Stehling, Thomas. Medieval Latin Poems of Male Love and Friendship. Garland Pub, 1984.
Recommended further reading:
Bailey, Derrick Sherwin. Homosexuality and the Western Christian Tradition. Archon Books, 1975. Originally published by Longmans, Green & Co., 1955.
Barbezat, Michael D. “Bodies of Spirit and Bodies of Flesh: The Significance of the Sexual Practices Attributed to Heretics from the Eleventh to the Fourteenth Century.” Journal of the History of Sexuality, vol. 25, no. 3, 2016, pp. 387–419. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/44862359. 
Brundage, James A. "Playing by the Rules: Sexual Behaviour and Legal Norms in Medieval Europe". Desire and Discipline: Sex and Sexuality in the Premodern West, edited by Konrad Eisenbichler and Jacqueline Murray, Toronto: University of Toronto Press, 1996. https://doi.org/10.3138/9781442673854-004
Bullough, Vern L. “Heresy, Witchcraft, and Sexuality.” Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 1, no. 2, 3 Mar. 1976, pp. 183–199, https://doi.org/10.1300/j082v01n02_03.
---. “The Sin against Nature and Homosexuality.” Sexual Practices & the Medieval Church, edited by Vern L. Bullough and James A. Brundage, Prometheus Books, Buffalo, NY, 1994, pp. 55–71.
Bullough, Vern L., and James A. Brundage, editors. Handbook of Medieval Sexuality. Garland Publishing, 1996.
---, editors. Sexual Practices & the Medieval Church. Prometheus Books, 1994.
Burger, Glenn, and Steven F. Kruger, editors. Queering the Middle Ages. NED-New edition, vol. 27, University of Minnesota Press, 2001. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.5749/j.ctttszw5.
Clark, David. Between Medieval Men: Male Friendship and Desire in Early Medieval English Literature . Oxford University Press, 2009.
Dinshaw, Carolyn. Getting Medieval: Sexualities and Communities, Pre- and Postmodern. Duke University Press, 1999.
Fradenburg Louise, et al., editors. Premodern Sexualities. Routledge, 1995.
Frassetto, Michael. Heresy and the Persecuting Society in the Middle Ages: Essays on the Work of R.I. Moore. Brill, 2006.
Gilbert, Arthur N. “Conceptions of Homosexuality and Sodomy in Western History.” The Gay Past: A Collection of Historical Essays, edited by Salvatore J. Licata and Robert P. Petersen, Harrington Press, New York, NY, 1985, pp. 57–68.
Goodich, Michael. “Sodomy in Ecclesiastical Law and Theory.” Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 1, no. 4, 20 June 1976, pp. 427–434, https://doi.org/10.1300/j082v01n04_06.
---. “Sodomy in Medieval Secular Law.” Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 1, no. 3, 20 June 1976, pp. 295–302, https://doi.org/10.1300/j082v01n03_04.
---. The Unmentionable Vice Homosexuality in the Later Medieval Period. Ross-Erikson, 1979.
Jordan, Mark D. The Invention of Sodomy in Christian Theology. University of Chicago Press, 1997.
Karras, Ruth Mazo. “Attitudes to Same-Sex Sexual Relations in the Latin World.” A Companion to Crime and Deviance in the Middle Ages, edited by Hannah Skoda, Arc Humanities Press, 2023, pp. 84–101. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/jj.3716022.9. 
---. From Boys to Men: Formations of Masculinity in Late Medieval Europe. University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003.
---. “The Regulation of ‘Sodomy’ in the Latin East and West.” Speculum, vol. 95, no. 4, 1 Oct. 2020, pp. 969–986, https://doi.org/10.1086/710639.
---. Sexuality in Medieval Europe: Doing unto Others. Routledge, 2012.
Kruger, Steven F. “Queer Middle Ages.” The Ashgate Research Companion to Queer Theory, 1st ed., Routledge, New York, NY, 2009, pp. 413–434.
Kuefler, Mathew, editor. The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality. University of Chicago Press, 2006.
Lees, Clare A., et al. Medieval Masculinities: Regarding Men in the Middle Ages. University of Minnesota Press, 1994.
Pierce, Rosamond. “The ‘Frankish’ Penitentials.” Studies in Church History, vol. 11, 1975, pp. 31–39, https://doi.org/10.1017/s0424208400006276. 
***Please note: my omission of Boswell's CSTH here is entirely intentional. I know that if people here got a hold of him he'd be considered a tumblr darling, easy. If I could, I would wear merch with his name on it. And normally I would list him loudly and proudly. But I'm not, because the man loved reading into things that at times aren't there, and there are countless critiques that have been leveled against CSTH, many of which Boswell himself agreed with. So. If the general tumblr population wasn't constantly pissing on the poor I might trust it in their hands, but as it is, I know that nuance is lost on people!
(would you believe me if I said I tried to restrain myself in curating this list? no?? well I DID)
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drdemonprince · 4 months ago
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I worry that today’s generation of kids on the internet have never gotten to develop much digital agency or form safe, empowering relationships with older people. More broadly, I think our current culture of isolating children from all unrelated adults, supposedly in the name of their “protection” only causes them to become more ignorant, lonesome, and vulnerable to exploitation.
There are many ways in which restricting youth access to information technology and training adults to avoid all contact with children makes kids even more powerless and dependent.
If a child cannot post their sexual health questions on Ask Alice or go searching around online, then they have to believe whatever they hear from their parent or priest. If a young person longs to taste the freedoms of adulthood but aren’t given any room to explore, then the grown-up in their DMs telling them that they are so mature becomes a hell of a lot more seductive.
And if a kid never gets to search for sexual content online, learn about adult sexual experiences, or touch themselves and find pleasure in the privacy of their own minds, they may never fully learn that their body is them, for them to enjoy and express themselves however they see fit.
For queer youth, the dangers of isolation are amplified. A study published in the journal Child Protection and Practice in April of last year found that LGBTQI+ children face an elevated risk of grooming and sexual abuse because they are discriminated against by peers, preached against within their religious communities, and mistreated or kicked out of the house by their families — and also, because an adult with no respect for boundaries might be the only person offering to talk with them about queerness or sex.
It’s very difficult to know the difference between a healthy relationship and exploitation when a predatory adult is the first queer person a kid ever knows. If a relationship with an abuser is the only way that a teen ever gets to live out their queerness or explore their budding sexuality, then it becomes immensely difficult for them to walk away — leaving the groomer is like tearing off a crucial part of themselves that never gets expressed otherwise, or even seen.
This is also true of children who have the early rumblings of kinky sexualities, too — when you long to be controlled or tied up, you need a safe outlet to learn and fantasize about doing such things consensually one day. If you do not know that such options exist, you’ll settle instead for abuse. The more options that a child has to learn about sexual practices, to meet other queer people of ages, and to form appropriate relationships with unrelated adults, the harder they become to manipulate, and the more power they have to walk away.
...
Being a minor is a position created by legal oppression, but most people consider a minor’s lack of freedom to be so natural and morally correct they don’t even recognize it as oppression. Instead, they see it as protection, a healthy separation between the world of the human and the not-quite-human yet. Though they would never admit it, a minor is not the same thing as a person to them, for a minor can be thrown out of public spaces, locked away, silenced, disregarded, and left to rot in the ways full persons are not.
I believe that we queer adults are failing our younger siblings by refusing to play a part in raising and looking after them. We have chosen to privilege our individual safety from accusations of ‘inappropriate’ conduct over the need for queer youth to see their own sexualities and identities normalized, envision a diversity of possible futures for themselves, and seek aid and understanding when they are mistreated.
For those of us who’ve had the liberty to escape our ignorant hometowns, get on HRT, have joyous gay sex in dark rooms, or even just dance tenderly with a sexy androgynous stranger’s cheek pressed against our own, we have a responsibility to pour from our filled cups, and to remember what it was like to have no such access. As terrified as we are of losing our documentation, our access to medicine, and our legal rights, we must remember those queer people who presently have none of those things, and do all that we can to extend our aid to them.
I wrote about the troubling culture of the "MINORS DNI" bio, and how it contributes to the mass isolation of young queer people. You can read the full piece or have it narrated to you by the substack app for free here.
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teaboot · 4 months ago
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Teaboot what trans man pipeline did you go down (if any)?
Did you go thru the fujoshi—>i like men in a gay way—> oh shit im a man pipeline or?
Wait do u even like men
My parents didn’t do the whole pink or blue thing when I was a kid, so I never really felt any pressure about it till like. Puberty.
Then I spent so much time in the woods that my hair would get matted and tangled in sticks and junk, so I cut it all off and people started mistaking me for a boy. Which made me really happy for reasons I couldn’t articulate, and it annoyed the shit out of me when people “corrected” them on my behalf
THEN I saw a Tumblr post mentioning the term genderfluid when I was like 15 and thought HOLY SHIT THAT’S AN OPTION?
I’ve never felt like I fit in with any gender or group of any kind, but I assumed that was probably just part of the whole mental health dealie I was working with. Y’know?
I didn’t really care about pronouns till a colleague at work mentioned we had new uniform badges with a pronoun option and I jokingly complained that I’d have to buckle down and pick some.
Then I went by all pronouns, and slowly narrowed it down to what felt best by eliminating what didn’t sound right.
If you had to ask me now, I’d say I’m probably genderfluid or a gender or genderqueer or whatever, like still not solidly one thing or another, but he/him still feels best as far as pronouns go.
And attraction doesn’t take up much brain space for me one way or another, so like. Meh?
The pattern seems to be “anyone who can suplex me is hot but I don’t wanna fuck” so. Pretty solidly asexual, and I say I’m bi or pan or whatever but it doesn’t come up much. Probably aromantic too.
My gender is Guy, my sexual orientation is I’d Rather Be Doing Art Right Now, and my romantic preference is This Would Be More Interesting If It Was Happening In A Book To Someone Else.
IDK, kinda just going with the flow here
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doberbutts · 5 months ago
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With this latest round of discourse being "trans men shouldn't complain about being kicked out of women's spaces", I felt the urge to write up a relatively long post regarding the topic, as I feel it is a long tangled mess and involves a significant amount of people simply talking past each other.
To begin, what is a woman's space? I ask this, because "women's spaces" often fall under one of three categories: medical services, social services, and social gatherings. Of the three, trans men need access to nearly everything if not everything included within "medical services" and "social services". These things often need to be considered co-ed anyway, but are still considered "for women" and often are labeled things like "women's health" or "women's defense". Social gatherings- things such as book clubs, concerts, festivals, and other similar outings- can have a nuanced and complicated history when it comes to the inclusion, or exclusion, of trans men.
As an example- I am a binary, gay trans man who has not yet been sterilized. If I become pregnant and need to seek out social services, I must do so via my provider's "Women and Babies" department. I am neither of those things, and yet regardless of whether I am completing or terminating the pregnancy, I must label myself a woman in order to receive care. If I wish to have a pap smear, receive birth control, or investigate my chances of ovarian and cervical cancer, I must do so via the "Women's Health Clinic". I am not a woman, but I must label myself as one in order to discuss sterilization options. Many trans men who have had their gender markers changed prior to sterilization have reported difficulty even booking an appointment, as well as difficulty convincing their insurance to pay for this appointment due to a discrepancy with gender markers vs gendered care. Many have discussed the realities of being a pregnant man, whether they remained pregnant until their child was born, or whether they terminated said pregnancy with an abortion.
It should come as no surprise that the statistics for trans men receiving quality gynecological care are abysmal. It should be equally unsurprising to hear how many trans men have died from botched abortions, untreated miscarriages, infections and cancers of the uterus and cervix and ovaries, and complications during pregnancy or birth. We belong in this space, despite it being labeled "for women", and the only thing pushing us out has done is quite literally what's been killing us.
This is, of course, not even taking into account the numbers of trans men who have been forced to become pregnant via their husbands or families as a means to detransition them, and those who have become pregnant as a result of corrective rape. There is a saying among trans men of my age- it isn't "we all know a guy this has happened to", it's "which of us haven't experienced this? who among us doesn't fear this? who will it happen to next?"
Which brings me to my next point: women's social services. As with women's medical care, nearly everything labeled "for women" as a social service must be inclusive to trans men. Shelters for domestic violence survivors, rape crisis centers, self defense classes, family planning, these are all things that honestly should already be co-ed. But, many times, they are exclusively targeted towards women. I understand why, I do. But with trans men being statistically more likely than cis women to experience the need for these services, it seems a cruelty to close their doors to a vulnerable demographic reaching out for help.
Where should trans men in crisis go? Shutting the door to us without addressing the reason we need to access these resources gives us a single ultimatum: detransition, or die. Go back to being a woman, or die knowing the likelihood that a woman's name will adorn your headstone, and "daughter, wife, mother" will be said in your obituary. Much like the medical services, this incomplete answer has lead many trans men to their deaths. Whether by their own hands, or by their attackers'.
But there are other social services out there that perhaps are not as dire. Women's scholarships, colleges, all girls schools. Girl Scouts, women's sport leagues, gym memberships. Trans men don't need access to these, right?
Well... is the trans man in question out? Has he been living as a man, or is he still closeted? Is it safe for him to come out? Does he pass, or has he just bought his first binder and given himself his first buzz cut? Is he living under the control of his parents, or is he able to freely decide for himself the type of person he'd like to be and the type of life he'd like to live?
You see, I was a Girl Scout once. And, if we are to believe to our core that trans men are men even before they know the words "transgender", this means I was a boy in a girl's space. I didn't know that being transgender was an option for me at the point where my troop disbanded, and another leader to replace the first within my local area was not found until after I had aged out.
But also... I was in 7th grade when my troop disbanded. Two years later, I would learn the word "transgender", and suddenly everything would make sense. Two years later, I would come out to my parents and my sisters. To put this into perspective, I graduated high school in 2010. The Boy Scouts officially allowed cisgender girls and transgender people of all genders to join all programs in 2019.
I was not expelled from my Girl Scout troop. My leader simply stopped showing up to meetings, and my troop disbanded to go our separate ways when leadership could not find someone quickly enough to replace her. But... if this had not happened, I would have been a recently out transgender boy in a girl's social service, still wearing push up bras and frilly shirts because that's all my parents would buy me until I became an adult and moved out and had a job with my own money to re-purchase myself a wardrobe. Indistinguishable from any of the others, outside of what went on inside my own mind.
I would not have been accepted into the Boy Scouts, if Girl Scouts had been taken from me as abruptly as it was from a different transgender boy in the same state I was born and raised. Which would have left me with... nothing. Neither. And the only reason I even joined the Girl Scouts was because I had wanted to join the Boy Scouts and the local troop had refused to allow me, because they had labeled me a girl.
I don't believe I'm the one that coined Schrodinger's Gender, but I do reference it often. In this situation, one is both a boy when it hurts, and a girl when it hurts. Even if that gender label changes by the second, the point is to use your gender and your assigned sex to hurt you.
But then, why do these services even have to be gendered to begin with? After all, Boy Scouts just updated to be The Scouts, and has removed (on paper) the insistence on gendering.
Well... I certainly agree that the majority of gendering these services is at this point a concept that needs to be reformed, but I'm unconvinced that we will be able to completely integrate without addressing the reason they were segregated by gender in the first place.
Women's gym memberships are gender segregated for two reasons. Women and girls- and anyone labeled as women and girls, regardless of true identity- are frequently not afforded the same access to resources as cisgender men and boys. Women and girls- and anyone labeled such- are frequently at high risk of predatory sexual behavior and physical violence. Both of these problems are symptoms of a larger system of misogyny at play, and both of these problems directly affect trans men especially those who have not transitioned in a way that makes them pass for cis men.
Regardless of the truth of my identity, the reality is that I was seen as and treated as a girl when it came to physical fitness, and thus barred from the same activities freely offered to the boys. Regardless of the truth of my identity, I have experienced predatory sexual behavior from cis men as young as 8 or 9 years old, continuing past when I came out and began to transition socially.
If the problem is not addressed, cis women cannot re-integrate with cis men. But, additionally, if the problem is not addressed, the choice still remains clear for trans men. Detransition, stay closeted, or go without.
A common complaint of trans men is the invisibility and erasure our demographic faces. It should be easy to see why this happens. The problem of a misogynistic society is one that continues to this day, and without addressing the problem we cannot hope for success in creating a more inclusive space. At the same time, trans men are being pushed out and isolated as they realize they must make a choice.
As for social gatherings, such as a woman's retreat or a woman's music festival? Of course, it may sound odd to say that a trans man should feel welcome there. But the truth of the matter is the majority of the trans men asking for the ability to stay are trans men who have been within that space for years already, prior to coming out, prior to realizing some things about their genders, prior to taking their first steps as men.
I'm pretty good friends with an older butch who told me that I am the first person they ever told that they were a nonbinary man. This person is in their 50s. They're married. But the wife doesn't like it, and they love their wife too much to cause friction in the relationship, so they keep it to themselves, and they keep quiet, and they don't say anything about being transgender, but in their head they aren't a woman. This person is not a woman, by their own insistence. Should this person be forcibly ejected from their local lesbian community, which they and the wife helped form decades ago? Should they divorce their wife, since that would make her not a lesbian anymore?
What harm is it, truly, to allow this person to stay? Social isolation kills people. The trans man suicide statistics are just as abysmal as any of the others I've mentioned here. Forcing someone to burn 20, 30, 40 years of their lives and their friends and their achievements because they are finally living as themselves is a deeply hurtful and isolating experience.
The majority of trans men asking to be included in these spaces are not trans men like me- who never really jived with the idea of womanhood and distanced ourselves as much as possible the moment we saw the opportunity. They are men like my friend, often existing outside of the binary, often with a deep love and appreciation for womanhood despite realizing that perhaps the label does not fit them as well as they once thought. They often have many years of connection, entire lives spent intwined in these spaces.
What good does it do to chase them out? What harm does it to do let them stay?
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recklessghostart · 1 month ago
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About the 'Skizz Situation' and why the fan community is not being a good representation of what it wants to claim.
Before I get started, I need y'all to read this with an open mind and an open heart. This is not an attack on you, or at all. It is me pointing out what I see and hoping to bring stuff to your attention. For those who don't know, the 'light' (and ultimately not entirely correct) synopsis going around is that Skizz got a donator asked Skizz to say 'trans rights' and he didn't because it was 'too political'. The reality? Skizz was chilling and vising with his chat having some good times and stuff, didn't vet the dono before starting to read it outloud, and that dono more or less said that they were a 'long time' viewer of Skizz and (the wording almost felt aggressive/accusing) didn't feel he did enough for the community and wanted him to say Trans rights. Skizz in the moment and trying to keep things light said he was just wanting to vibe with his chat and didn't want his channel to address things too 'political' (he clarified later he meant Polarizing) and he has nothing against nobody. He then followed up in the comments that clarification (which, lets be real, it is polarizing) that he didn't want his community to foster hatred in his comment section and its not the forum to have those debates (which is FINE. He is allowed to have boundaries. Those boundaries were set not just for himself but to protect his LGBTQ+ watchers) and of course he supports the LGBTQ+ community and Trans rights. Something else I wish to point out: This donator claimed to be a long time viewer of Skizz. Frankly I don't believe them or anyone who who is listening to any of this. He has been MORE than open about his support of the community in the past, and often. His last stream before all this was even him talking with Gem and Lizzy, two Bi women, about Bi stuff. That dono was made to stir the pot. To either make him say something to cause hatred in his comment space, or make him slip up and get the community to dislike him. So- how is the community a poor representation of what we claim? Well a lot of the claims the LGBTQ+ community makes is wanting people to grow. To want Allies. To support other discriminated groups. So- They see this Man- this DISABLED man (Skizz has MS) who has OPENLY SUPPORTED them in the past, make a slip up of words, and refuse to understand where is is coming from, why he may want to keep things 'good vibes' and just more normalized (because the very much Gay coded jokes and stuff he and Imp and Gem and the others make NORMALIZES the community which is AMAZING), Who himself is straight and comes from a very red state so may not 100% understand how to word what he means correctly, and basically tries to burn him at the stake. To take away his income. People want to Boycott him over this. To basically destroy his life. (Because he quit his Job to be a full time content creator, and he is still a very small one at that.) Tell me, how does that make anyone ever want to support this community? How does that show kindness and understanding? To make people want to grow? How does any of this treatment make you the better person? Because, long story short, it doesn't.
Now some of you are bringing up his mods, how two may be trump supporters. True or not (I haven't seen evidence of this? But I won't dismiss it), you also need to think of a few things in terms of that. They have been his mods for 5+ years. Mods often are close and friends of the streamers, especially small streamers which he is/was. People, can be friends with people of different political parties. You may not want to, but when I tell you that cutting people off because of a political opinion is new, its NEW. And a lot from the older gen wouldn't even dream of it. Furthermore they are (as far as I know) volunteers. He does not pay them (again, small streamer). He needs mods to run his channels and without them he can not do his job safely, especially for his community. And many people will not do this job for Free (at least not well). He can't just replace them overnight. Give him time to have those hard conversations if he chooses to have them. It's not like they have even brought those beliefs into their work or his streams. Long story short, Be good. Not just to each other but to Skizz himself. Have the understanding you would want people to have for you if you slip up with good intentions. Crucifying someone who supports y'all does nothing good for this community.
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thelittlestpika · 28 days ago
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I love fandom spaces but some people piss me off so badly. The particular people who piss me off are those who ignore characters' canon sexualities for the sake of shipping and/or hate healthy canon relationships because it interferes with their personal ships. Everyone always says they want more representation but, when we get it (especially aro/ace/aroace), they cover their eyes and ears because they don't like it.
"But aro/ace people can be in relationships/have sex!" Correct but that's not an excuse when a character has shown repulse to something like uninvited touch. Also, some people are sex repulsed or romance repulsed but allo people don't seem to care about that for the sake of a ship they personally like.
The reason this makes me so upset is that it seems to basically only be the case with characters who aren't allo. Why do you just assume every character wants a relationship? Why don't you ship lesbians with men or gays with women? Because it's homophobic?
You're being aphobic.
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tikitakatia · 17 days ago
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Gotta Call ´Em Something — A. Putellas x Reader
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WC: 1.2k
Summary: May the gay gods bless you, you don´t know how much longer you´ll last with these situations.
You’ve worked at FC Barcelona for six months now. That’s 182 days, 4,368 hours, and according to the deeply unscientific tally on Mapi’s whiteboard in the gym, over 300 separate attempts to flirt with Alexia Putellas. Which is, coincidentally, also how many times you’ve failed. Not because you’re bad at it.
No, you’re actually incredible at flirting. You’re practically built for it: the timing, the smirk, the voice drop. You flirt the way others breathe. But Alexia Putellas? She’s the final boss of obliviousness. The patron saint of “Wait, that was flirting?” You are practically on your knees with romantic, yearning desperation, and she still greets you with a casual “Holii” like you’re just another teammate asking if she wants more ice in her drink.
You’ve tried everything. Compliments, thoughtful little gifts, lingering touches during post-match massages. You once told her she looked like a renaissance painting and she responded with, “Which one?” and then sincerely asked if you meant “the one with the screaming man.” You didn’t even bother correcting her that The Scream is neither a renaissance painting nor flattering. You just stared at the wall behind her and whispered, “Yes.”
You’re not subtle. You’ve never been subtle. Subtle is for cowards. The first week you met, she said, “I’m always sore after leg day,” and you, clearly not in possession of your own soul, responded with, “Good thing I know how to use my hands.” She laughed. She thought it was funny. Friendly. You, on the other hand, went home and screamed into a pillow so loud your upstairs neighbor texted you to ask if someone had died.
Everyone else knows. Everyone. The entire locker room is involved. Mapi and Cata have a running commentary on your attempts, complete with odds and spreadsheets. They once made cards for it, Flirting Bingo. Square one was “offered to carry Alexia’s Louis Vuitton bag again.” The free space just said “blushes when she says your name.” Even Caro is in on it, and she has the emotional range of a house plant.  She walked past you once mid-flirt and muttered, “Dios mío, just flash her or something.”
Ona, who has the observational skills of a sniper, said it best after a particularly disastrous encounter in the cafeteria where you called Alexia mi sol and she asked if that was your new nickname for the coffee machine. Ona just leaned against the table, sipped her smoothie, and went, “I’ve seen snails crawl faster than Alexia takes to understand your flirting attempts.”
It’s become a locker room soap opera. You flirt. She blinks. You sigh. Mapi shouts. Pina eats popcorn. Keira places bets. And Alexia? Alexia just hums and asks if anyone wants more Prime. You are living in hell, and it’s got a very specific Catalan accent.
But you keep trying. Because you're nothing if not romantically deranged. You flirt harder. You bring her coffee. Offer massages you absolutely do not have time for. She compliments your hoodie and you offer to share it. She says you’re great with your hands, and you ask if she needs a demonstration. She moans during treatment, and you have to step out and splash cold water on your face.
And she never, ever gets it.
Until one fateful afternoon, after a training session, when you find yourselves alone in the physio room. She’s perched on the edge of the table, swinging her legs slightly, scrolling through her phone. Her hair’s damp from the shower, her cheeks flushed, and she’s still wearing your hoodie. (Yes. Still. It’s basically her hoodie now. You've given up.) The two of you are laughing about something dumb she said during rondos, probably involving a cone and you're feeling bold. Or desperate. Hard to say. It’s a fine line these days.
“So,” you say, trying to sound casual, “what do you think about pet names?”
She glances up, curious. “Like what kind of pet?”
You blink. “No, not actual pets. Like… babe. Baby. Amor. Cariño. You know. Terms of endearment.”
She hums, thoughtful. “I guess. I mean, you’ve got to call them something.”
You smile. “Yeah?”
She nods seriously. “Like… dog.”
You stare at her.
She stares back, deadpan.
“I used to call my pomeranian cariño all the time,” she adds, as if that clarifies things.
Somewhere in the distance, you’re certain Mapi has sensed a disturbance in the Force. You’re pretty sure Irene just dropped a protein shake. Possibly in slow motion.
You blink once, slowly. “Like… a person. Like if you’re dating someone.”
“Oh!” she says, like the thought has never occurred to her before.
“Well, yeah. I guess that’s cute.”
“You guess.”
She shrugs, entirely unaffected. “I mean, it’s not like I’d call my girlfriend dog.”
“Thank God,” you mutter under your breath.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
From outside the room, you hear Ona’s voice drifting in: “She needs subtitles, bro.”
You are going to cry. Or combust. Or kiss her. Or all three in quick succession. But before you can spiral further, Alexia looks up again and offers you one of those slow, sweet smiles that short-circuits your brain.
“Why?” she asks. “Do you use pet names?”
“I would,” you say, “if I had a reason to.”
She nods. “Makes sense.”
She nods. Like you’re discussing the weather. Like you’re not actively, aggressively pining for her with your whole chest.
Weeks later, something in you snaps. Possibly your dignity. Possibly your last functioning brain cell.
“I want to kiss you so bad sometimes I forget how to speak,” you blurt.
She looks up, smiling. “Your Spanish is always really good.”
You blink.
She blinks.
From the hallway, there’s a metallic thud. That’s probably Mapi walking into a wall. Or throwing herself at one.
Alexia frowns. “Wait… was that, did you mean that literally?”
Mapi bursts through the doorway like a human hurricane. “NO. No no no. You are NOT about to mess this up again. She’s been flirting with you for six months, Ale. SIX. MONTHS. She offered you her water bottle with eye contact. That’s practically second base.”
Alexia turns to you, stunned. “You’ve… been flirting with me?”
You just stare at her. “Yes. I’ve been flirting. Since February. I literally asked if you liked pet names and you said "like for a dog.”
Her mouth drops open. “Oh my god. I thought you were just… really friendly.”
“I am friendly,” you say. “But I’m also in love with you and I’ve aged three years trying to communicate that.”
She laughs, nervous and pink-cheeked, and takes a step closer. “So… you like me?”
“Yes.”
“Like… like-like?”
You blink. “I’m sorry, are we in middle school?”
She grins. “Okay. And you want to kiss me?”
You nod. “So badly I’ve considered creating a PowerPoint presentation about it.”
She looks down at her feet. Then back at you. Then she kisses you.
And just like that, the entire world shifts.
Her lips are soft, warm, slightly uncertain. You melt. Everything inside you goes still. Her hands find your hoodie, well, her hoodie, really, and tug you closer. You taste spearmint gum and 182 days of unresolved tension. You think, Oh. This is it.
When she pulls back, she’s breathless and smiling. “So… what do I call you now?”
Mapi groans from the doorway. “Don’t say dog, I swear to god.”
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