#criminal profiling contest

[somuchforahobby]

do you still think love is a laserquest?

Summary: You get to work a case with your ex Spencer Reid and your boyfriend Patrick Jane Tags: Ex boyfriend trope / flashbacks / fluff and angst / this is the smuttiest I get which is not a lot to say tbh judge yourself / love triangle Warnings: I wrote this after a LOOOONG time of watching the mentalist and I did lovely patrick very dirty / Spence can be a jerk Word count: 5.6 k Reid GIF belongs to @reidgif and Patrick Jane's @morgane-art Read on AO3 Notes: I read @littlediable (AO3) do similar & inspired me to do this :) Italics are throwbacks

“This is Officer Cho, Van Pelt, Rigsby and Patrick Jane” You heard your boss introducing the team while you chewed on your pen & reviewed a file from the last case. It was your job to profile the criminals the CBI captured and put a psychological explanation to Patrick Jane’s ludacris actions.

“Hey, agent Reid, I've been looking forward to meeting you.” You heard your boyfriend say and like a cat, your ears raised.

“It’s Doctor. I also have heard a lot from you.” The familiar voice filled the room.

Your boss called your full name, so you walked out of your office to meet the FBI people Hightower had summoned. “She’s our profiler, not as experienced as you are but I’m sure she can help you out with whatever you need.” Lisbon explained to the tall, dark haired agent standing in front of her. After you shook hands with everyone and introduced yourself, you finally got to Spencer, he looked so much better than last time you saw him. 

“Hello, Doctor .” You extended your hand for a shake, ready to pretend you didn’t know each other, hoping he did as well.

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t have to call me doctor.” He winked at you while shaking your hand. “Are you an officer?” He shot you an incredulous look while letting go of your hand.

You nodded.

The room was quiet, paying full attention to your little exchange, except for Patrick who was fidgeting with something on his couch.

“You’re too smart to be carrying a gun at your waist everyday.” Spencer leaned near your ear “and way too pretty.”

An electric bolt traveled through your body at the sense of his warm whisper in your skin, but your pride knew better than to let him have the last word.

“Well, doctor ,” you elongated the title again, “some of us don’t make it to the FBI at 22 and we gotta work with what we have, even if it’s not brains.” You gave him an innocent yet treacherous smile. He rolled his eyes.

“Uh, Reid, wanna give us some context here?” Prentiss asked over his shoulder, staring at you with wide eyes.

“They’re exes, of course!” Jane crossed the room with his usual smirk. “Everything okay, darling?” He asked you, placing an arm over your shoulders but you couldn’t take your eyes off Spencer, your pissing contest wasn't over.

“Really?” Spencer lifted a brow in amusement, “didn’t think you were the type to date older” 

“Well you should’ve known I was troubled the minute I started dating you” He scoffed.

“We are the same age.”

“Yeah but you still made me call you doctor as we fu—“ with every word you got closer and closer to him, till somebody interrupted you.

“That’s enough!” Hotchner raised his voice for everyone to hear and walked in between you two, “this is nor the time or the place, if you two can’t be professional go home.” He pushed Spencer away from you and kept eye contact with you until he left the room completely.

******

It was a sunny day on campus, everyone was outside. Some sororities even made water balloon parties so half the students were running around in swimming suits.

But you were at the library studying, more exactly, you were searching for a book that the librarian said was inside the library but it was not in its place, so you started your very own quest to find it.

After a few minutes of walking through the place, you spotted it on a desk, somebody else had grabbed it and left it there. Damn people with no library manners.

You grabbed it and were walking back to your desk when a guy walking towards you stopped your tracks.

“I’m using it.” He pointed to the book you had just grabbed, or stolen.

“It was on a desk, I’m sorry, I thought—“ You bit your lower lip in nervousness.

“It’s ok, normally I wouldn’t mind but I do need it.” He answered with a tight lip smile.

“Oh, okay, I’m sorry.” You gave it back to him and started your path back to your place.

“Would you like to sit together? So we can share, of course.” You turned to see him and he was smiling shyly at you, almost regretting his proposal.

“Okay.” You smiled back. -----------------

“There’s no evidence of sexual assault” Rossi pointed out.

“Why is the unsub ripping their clothes and leaving the victims exposed if it’s not interested in sexual abuse?” Prentiss asked the room.

“What if they abused the unsub?” You asked.

“Garcia, please check for criminal records and sexual assault records on the victims” Hotchner said to the phone on the center of the table.

“They all have criminal records for sexual assault, sir, to children.”

You turned to see Prentiss, who was the one you’ve been talking to the most.

“So it’s punishment.”

“I want to talk to their victims” Jane stood up and walked to the door.

“JJ, Morgan, let’s go.” Hotchner gave an order and half their team left.

Lisbon did the same, calling Rigsby and Cho, leaving you and Grace to do research and profiling.

“I don’t think it’s a man, I think it’s a woman” you stated facing the board Spencer had made with the pictures of the victims and all relevant clues you had on the case while biting your nails.

“Why?” He asked you like it was the most absurd statement he had ever heard.

“There’s no sexual assault, the bodies don’t move, the attention to detail is beyond impressi—” You were explaining, staring only at the board when he interrupted you.

“A man can have attention to detail” Spencer corrected you. You turned to see him in disbelief and exhaustion.

“Why don’t you respect my contributions? You respect everyone else’s!” There was anger in your question but you were also hurt. 

“Oh, that’s not true” His gaze softened and he took a step to be closer to you, his hand cradled your cheek, “I also don’t respect your boyfriend's” He leaned in to kiss your forehead and his soft lips on your skin caused you to tremble with memories.

You pushed him off and stormed out of the room with tears in your eyes.

*****

“How do you take your coffee?” He asked one afternoon. After your first encontrance, you started noticing him every time you went into the library, and with a side smirk he’d wave his hand and gesture at the seat in front of him, and every time, you’d sit. Every now and then, when you raised your eyes from your book to steal a glance of his perfect jawline, he was already staring back.

“Uh, latte with one sugar, you?” It was not usual to exchange words, so his deep voice took you out of your tracks instantly.

“Black with two sugar.”

Next morning he arrived with two coffees and a blushed smile. -------------

“So is it true?” Prentiss asked you in a low, warm voice.

You had stormed out of the meeting room to get a coffee and some silence but apparently you had failed.

“What?”

“You and Reid.” 

“Umm” You thought about it, did he deserve you telling the truth to everyone he loves and cares about? Did he not? “Yeah, we dated for a while.”

“For how long?” She was making coffee as well.

“Umm, I believe two years?” You weren’t exactly sure, “I had just started college and he already had his first PhD.” You sat at the kitchenette table and she followed.

“Why did you break up?” 

“I guess we grew apart” bullshit.

“Then why do you hate each other?” You scoffed under your breath at the question.

“I don’t hate him. And I don’t think he hates me either.” Emily seemed surprised at your answer, “I do know for a fact that he considers me ‘a very low point in his life’ and ‘a mistake he never thought he’d be able to commit’” you did air quotes, “and my guess is that he compensates shame with anger.” She was looking at you with certain sadness.

“That’s an awful thing to say.”

You shrugged.

“His cleverness also applies to insults.”

“And what did you do? Why is he so upset at you if he was the jerk?” Her brows were knitted together, invested in the conversation.

“He doesn’t know that I know what he said.” Emily left out a small “ooh”, “I… just stopped talking to him. After a few times he tried to reach me unsuccessfully, he gave up. And that was that.” Tears gathered in your eyes and you looked up to avoid setting them free.

****

“You’re a doctor?” You asked, incredulous and he just nodded with a shy smile. “But you’re twenty!” He nodded again. “How?”

“I am… really smart.” He was leaning against your backpack, half laying on the grass.

“I noticed that!” You laughed, “no, seriously, are you like a genius?” 

“I have eidetic memory”

“What’s that?” 

“It means that I remember everything I see or read.” You were just noticing he used his hands a lot to gesticulate and it turned you on just a little bit.

“Everything?” You teased.

“Everything.” His beautiful brown eyes were focusing on you like you were the only thing left on the planet.

“But only what you see.” 

“Yes.”

“Okay, close your eyes.” 

“Why?” He smiled at your request.

“Just trust me!” 

And he did, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, unconvinced. You leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

His hands quickly moved to your jaw and neck to keep you in place while he returned the kiss slowly and passionately.

You broke the kiss and leaned your forehead on his, both with weary eyes and agitated breathing.

“What was that?” He asked before kissing the top of your nose.

“I want you to remember it because you choose to.” ---------------

“We found our killer” Patrick announced the minute he walked past the door. Spencer rolled his eyes in silence.

“Did you arrest her?” You asked Hotchner, he moved his head sideways.

“Let me guess, there’s no actual evidence” Spencer said while he fidgeted with a rubix cube.

“Yeap” Morgan answered, popping the P.

“We just need to find it, it’s her, it’s Vanessa Torres.” Patrick explained like it was the most obvious thing.

“Let me tell you something, Jane” Spencer dropped the cube and stood up to face him, “the FBI does not arrest people on hunches, we actually need to have evidence.” 

“It’s not a hunch” Patrick answered with his usual smirk, walking towards him. “I know it’s her.” They were standing face to face.

Spencer looked annoyed while Patrick stayed unbothered, even smirking.

“How convenient” there was a touch of sarcasm in Spencer’s voice.

“Gather your evidence, Doctor Reid” Patrick also toyed with the word. “And then we talk.” And with a wink he left the room.

As if this day could not get any worse, your anxiety was off the roof. You were biting your nails and one of them had even started bleeding. You wanted to stand up, go wash your hands and find a band aid, but you also could not handle the stares if you stood up, and you were thankful, because seconds after your thoughts of going out, Spencer stood up from his seat and walked out of the meeting room.

Hotchner was talking about the profile: age, gender, the mobile of the crimes, and Morgan took Spencer’s seat to take notes on certain characteristics of the profile.

“I agree with you,” your name in Hotchner’s voice took you out of your tracks and you turned to see him, “I also think it’s a woman” he nodded in your direction and you smiled.

Spencer walked through the door but seeing his seat was taken, he walked to the other free one that was next to you.

You didn’t even turn to see him, but you felt something lightweight dropped on your lap. You flinched at the proximity and turned down to find a lollipop. Your favorite kind of lollipop, actually.

You turned to see Spencer and he was looking at you with that tight lipped smile of his. You mouthed “thank you” in silence.

“So you stop biting your nails.” He leaned to your shoulder to whisper and you smiled.

You unwrapped it and took it to your mouth to calm your anxiety. For the next 20 minutes, all Spencer could see was the small stick coming out of your lips and the flips your tongue did when you pulled it out to speak.

**********

“Gimme that” You stole the lollipop he had in his mouth and put it in yours. He looked at you open mouthed in mock shock. “You have to help me stop smoking.” You were both sitting on the couch at his place, ever since you learned he was a Dr. and had a place in the university board, you both had decided to keep your dates a little more private to avoid nasty rumors or troubles with the school.

“Anything for my girl” He gave you a smirk, “but you have to share” you took out the candy to give it to him but he pressed his thumb on your chin to open your mouth and leaned towards you to close the space and insert his tongue in to get a taste straight from your tongue.

You were starting to get used to the way he kissed you, soft and caring but filled with need and hunger. His tongue danced around  your mouth, going back and forth to taste the sugar leftovers from the candy. His teeth captured your lower lip and sucked like they were meant to and his hands guided your head and jaw’s every move. He was a controller, he kept you in place or guided you as he pleased.

You took the decision to straddle him and it completely took him out of his comfort zone. He broke the kiss and stared at you dazzled, you took the chance to return the candy to your mouth, trying to be as sexy as you could, he removed it and threw it away, capturing your lips once again in hunger. You sank your hands in his hair, pulling his brown locks between your fingers. Slowly, your hips were moving on his, earning soft whines from his lips as he threw his head back in pleasure.

“You should grow your hair” You mumbled against his jaw.

“Whatever you want”  --------------

Lisbon and Hotchner dismissed you all around 10 pm. You were ready to go home, get some rest and come back in the morning to catch the killer, hopefully.

Given today was your lucky day, you got to share the elevator with both your boyfriend and your ex. You tried to keep quiet but they, of course, disagreed.

“You know I also know a few remedies for your oral fixation” Patrick turned to you with a smirk, your brows furrowed instantly at the insinuation, if it was only you two it would’ve been hot, but with someone else it was awkward.

“That is not even aimed at me, that’s just straight out disrespectful to her.” Spencer pointed out with a higher pitch in his voice, looking at him with disgust.

“I agree with Dr. Reid.” You mumbled and turned your head down.

Once the elevator doors opened in the parking lot, you walked to your car, with Patrick following nearby.

“See you tomorrow” you said over your shoulder and hopped in the car alone.

You arrived home with no signs whatsoever from your boyfriend, and of course he wasn't a teenager, if you had told him you wanted to be alone, he would respect that. But he was also the best people reader and he must have known you were upset.

Before going to sleep, you checked your phone and found 4 unread messages from the same unknown number.

Unknown 11:01 “Hey, Garcia gave me your number.” 

Unknown 11:04 “I was a jerk today, I´m sorry.”

Unknown 11:05 “Would you like to get a fresh start tomorrow?” 

Unknown 11:08 “I’m Spencer, by the way.”

Before you noticed, a smile had formed on your lips while you wrote down your answer.

“I’d love to.” 11:10

“Don't forget to make a wish!” 11:11

You saved his contact and before you could lock your phone you got an answer.

Dr. Spencer Reid 11:12

“Why a wish?”

“OMG. I can’t believe you don´t know that! Whenever you see the time and it's 11:11 you HAVE to make a wish. That’s just how it works.”

Dr. Spencer Reid 11:15

“You know some satanist’s consider 11 to be a relevant number for their rituals and to call in the energy desired, so I’d say it’s probably them who started this tradition and all this time you’ve been asking wishes to Lucifer,” 

That was the most Spencer text you’d ever read. You imagined him talking, going on and on about the topic and you found it endearing. 

“You really know how to charm a girl. I’ll sleep like a baby tonight, thanks.” 11:17

Dr. Spencer Reid 11:18

“I’m sorry, again. Please get some rest.” 11:20

You finally closed your phone and went to sleep thinking of that adorable tight lipped smile your ex boyfriend had.

*****

“Have you done this before?” 

His eyes were lost in your collarbone, frozen.

“Honey, have you done this before?” His brown eyes finally lifted to yours, but he still seemed distracted, and you could not blame him; your knees were on each side of his hips, your bare breasts on his chest.

“Mmm?” He finally regained consciousness, “yes, but what I may or may not have done before does not guarantee that I will get it right this time because what may have liked to someone else maybe will not like you, so my limited experience says that I should be paying attention to details like the change in your breathing and the pitch of your mo—“ you shut him up with a kiss.

“Well, doctor Reid, I think we finally found a subject that I have mastered better than you” you aligned him to your entrance. “So think of this as a learning experience.” His delicious brown eyes were fixated on you with a sweet tone in them, he nodded in pleasure and earned a small whine from his lips when you sank down on him. --------------------

That morning you found a note on your desk.

“Can we have a fresh start if we’re rusty? -SR ”

You smiled and blushed instantly and headed towards the meeting room with a smile on your lips. Not even half the team was there, only Hotchner, Lisbon and Rossi, and of course, Spencer; He was sitting in the same spot as yesterday, so you decided to take the seat next to him. 

“Did you shrink within the last few years? I remembered you taller.” He teased the minute you sat.

“Oh, I thought we’d be around the same height given you always carry your head stuck in your ass” you smirked and so did he.

“Sarcasm fits you, that’s one thing you know better than me.” 

“I remember a few other things that I know better than you.” You teased back and he raised his eyebrows at the realization.

“Actually, I’ve been practicing.” The naturality in his voice scared you, this was not the same guy you’ve known.

“That’s great!” You were both talking about sex next to your bosses and they haven’t even noticed.

“Yeah, we should catch up someday.” He barely had finished the sentence when he was giggling and blushing. So were you.

Hotch and Lisbon turned to see you with question marks on their faces, but Rossi was laughing as well.

After a few minutes, the room was crowded and Hotch started talking about the latest murder, the new hints you’ve gotten and how it had confirmed the profile.

The teams were made, the same as the day before: Hotcher, Lisbon and Jane; Rigsby, Prentiss and Morgan; JJ, Cho and Rossi; leaving you, Grace and Reid to work the profile inhouse.

After you gathered the information and discussed theories, it was all boredom and waiting for news.

You were gossiping with Grace about the little incident with Patrick in the elevator yesterday while Spencer had a nap on the opposite desk, he refused to do so on Patrick's couch.

“I mean, you’re both my friends but he is kind of an asshole with you.” Her beautiful green eyes were focused on you with tenderness.

“But he is sweet, and he’s been through so much. He is so smart!” You were trying to raise his points.

“Listen to you right now, he is not charity work, he is your boyfriend. He hasn’t been supportive of you, he’s been a little more than a dick lately.” You were hating your friend for saying such horrible things about him but you hated her more because she was right. “And you know what we’ve always thought…” 

“Yeah.” You turned to your side and saw Spencer fast asleep on Cho’s desk.

“Him, on the other side…” Grace whispered before standing out and walking to the kitchenette.

The next call you received was that there was a location and everyone had to be there, the three of you suited up and drove there.

“You’ve been using the wrong kind of vest, Spencer.” You teased when you saw him with his shirt, tie and FBI vest. He smirked.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, officer.” He answered, putting on his sunglasses.

********

“Doctor Reid? To what do I owe the pleasure?” Your grin extended all over your face when you opened the door of your dorm to find a smiley Spencer with pizza in the hallway.

“I heard you have it bad with finals, thought I might bring you dinner” He extended his arm to give you the pizza box and kissed your forehead. You took it and gave a step back to invite him in.

It was a simple place, really, two twin beds in each corner of the room, at their feet a desk on each and that was it. Your bed was the one on the right side of the room, he could tell because it was full of textbooks, notebooks and markers, the other one was impeccable.

“Where’s your roommate?” He turned to ask you when he saw the scenario.

“She hooked up with a teacher and hasn't slept here in weeks.” You said nonchalantly. Spencer’s eyebrows rose up in surprise.

“Well that’s inappropriate, what’s the age difference?” He was frowning and his tone was judgemental.

“You’re one to talk, professor.” You turned to tell him scoffing. He laughed and extended an arm over your shoulders into a tight hug.

You ate and discussed the latest topics of your studies, he kept making jokes assuring you it was just so you’d remember everything easily, not to make fun of you. Your laughs were loud, and your bodies were growing more and more comfortable with each other, surrounded by books.

“I got an email from the university” You casually said while leaning against him on your bed. “They proposed to skip last year and go straight to the masters degree” a whole smile formed on his lips.

“Sweetheart, that’s amazing, you deserve it.” He grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles.

“Would you help me fill out my application?” You battleled your eyelashes at him.

“Of course, but I will have to charge you.” He got on top of you and started unbuttoning your blouse. ---------------

Hotchner and Morgan completed the arrest, meaning the CBI was paying for the drinks that night.

You all headed there, you were snuggling in your boyfriend’s arm during the toast.

“I missed you last night” you said in his ear. Working with your ex had given you a lot of tension and stupid reminders of why you had loved him so much and had been so hard to get over, so you needed to get your man alone to remind you why you were with him.

“Of course you did” Patrick leaned towards you, kissing you softly. You broke the kiss trying to hide your disappointment, that’s not what you wanted right now.

You realized both Lisbon and Spencer were staring at your little scene.

After a few rounds, everyone was dancing, you stood by Emily and Grace’s side on the dancefloor and before you could notice, your boyfriend was nowhere to be found.

You returned to the table to catch a breath and found Spencer sitting alone.

“Have you not practiced dancing?” You teased as you took a bottle of water. He moved his head from side to side, with a smile. “You should, it’s the foreplay to… you know.” He scoffed.

“Do you have an open relationship?” He hadn’t even finished his question when you were laughing.

“Asking for a friend?” You bit your lower lip.

“Asking because otherwise I think he is cheating on you.” Your insides melted and then revolved.

“What?” You whimpered

“With Lisbon.”

“No way” you regained your senses and tried to brush it off.

“Where is he right now?”

“I don’t need to track his every step to trust him.”

“And do you?” He asked but you were too lost in thought. He said your name like a prayer and that brought you back. “Do you trust him?” You didn’t respond.

He pulled out his phone.

“Garcia, can you track two phones for me, please? It’s agent Lisbon and Patrick Jane, please.”

“Is everything okay?” He put her on speaker.

“Yeah, just do it for me, please.”

“They both seem to be in Crystal St. 140, apartment B.” Your mouth opened instantly.

“That’s her place.” You whispered.

“Thanks Garcia” and he closed his phone. “Would you like another drink or would you rather sober up?” He asked with an air of arrogance on his face.

“I want a cigarette” You left the table and walked outside of the bar with him walking nearby.

“I thought you didn’t smoke anymore” He said as you lit up your cigarette.

“Only in case of emergency” You smoked and threw your head back in pleasure to fill your lungs with smoke again after so long.

“Are you ok?” He whispered with tenderness.

“Yeah, I kinda already knew. I’ll break up with him tomorrow.”

You shared a comfortable silence for a while, you eyed him up and down, he had grown his hair and you wondered if it was because he followed your suggestion.

“Why did you cut me off?” He seemed hurt when he asked the question.

“What?” Your tipsy head did not have energy to chase his train of thought.

“Back then, why did you cut me off?”

“Oh” you took a deep breath, “I read the whole transcript of the session, what did you expect?” you took another sip of your vice, “but it’s ok, maybe you didn’t mean it, it came out wrong, you’re sorry, whatever” you were trying to look unbothered by one of the most hurtful events in your life, “Let’s just pretend it never happened.” You were leaning against a wall and he was standing just one step from you.

“No” he moved his head from side to side with determination in his eyes, “I did mean it. And I’d say it again if needed.” 

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, waiting for further explanation.

“Because I did it for your masters degree” He took the cigarette from your fingers and had a smoke before putting it back in your mouth. “They knew we were together and were going to deny your application based on that, so I told them what I had heard from so many colleagues before, so they wouldn’t relate you to me.” 

You didn’t say a word, you were still processing  his words. Hypnotized by the way his hands moved and the sparkle in his brown eyes.

“Please say something” His raspy low voice begged you.

“I forgive you” You whispered and his eyes filled with tenderness.

You put your cigar between your lips once again and took a sip but he grabbed it again.

“You mind if I—“ he asked when his agile fingers had already stolen it from your lips. He breathed in the smoke and threw the rest of the cigar away.

“It wouldn’t be the first time we sha—“ In one motion he expelled the smoke and closed the distance between the two of you, throwing arm over your shoulders to bring you closer.

His lips crashed into yours in desperation.

***

“We could stay as friends” He proposed to you with a blushed smile.

“Friends who kiss and fuck? Alright.” You were lying next to him naked in his bed, talking about the future of your relationship now that you were applying for a masters degree scholarship.

“Yeah, but, to avoid any suspicion, if you want to go out with someone else I’d understand. I can’t keep you trapped here forever.” He gestured at the walls surrounding him. 

“I would not complain” You kissed him and he smiled.

“The world deserves your brains, sweetheart.” He put a hand on your throat and pushed to separate your lips.

“And I deserve your tongue” You teased and he smirked.

“That you’ll always have” He brought you back to kiss you deeper and got on top of you, tracing your jaw with kisses.

“Are you seeing somebody else?” You asked, finally understanding what he had asked you before.

“no” he kept tracing your neck with his lips.

“Do you want to?”

“No” He was focused on kissing and biting your stomach.

“Because, I would also understand.” He stopped to look at you.

“Even if I wanted to, I don’t think it’s actually possible for me to stop thinking about you. Whenever I put something in my mouth I wish it was you, so no, I don’t want to see anybody else, I don’t think I could see anybody else. You’ve ruined me, so, if I may.” He returned his entire concentration to your body. ---------------

As soon as you walked through the door, he threw you against the wall and captured your lips in his. You had decided to go to his hotel room, convinced it was more convenient given your ex had been in your place only a few days before. And even if you were cheating, you would not do it in the same bed. 

Spencer kissed you hungrily, filled with need. His hands kept you in place, but then his desperation got the best of him and he’d touch all over your body, bringing you closer and closer to him, as if it was possible.

You were trying to undo his tie, but with his lips sucking yours and his tongue reconquering your mouth, it was hard to focus on the task.

“I need you— ah” he moaned, “I need you to touch me” His hands quickly moved to undo his tie and ripped off the buttons on his shirt, hurrying to do the same with yours. 

The second your hands laid on his torso, he trembled under your touch. You, on the other side, were melting under his soft but needy caresses on your waist and hips that turned into unclasping your pants to pull them off your thighs, along with your underwear. He knelt in front of you, kissing your inner thighs, with one hand on your stomach pushing you against the wall. He looked up to you with adoration, his chocolate eyes melting for you, and made you feel powerful. 

“I want you to tell me” a soft kiss on your thigh, “what he does to you.” his voice was merely a whisper.

“why?” You were lost in the proximity, the heat of his lips, the warm air near your core.

“Tell me” he swallowed and moved this face through your thighs inhaling, “if he did better” raising your right leg a little to get his face in between, “so I know” a small kiss up your knee, “I gotta try” another one higher, “harder” one in your groin and you gasped. “So I’m guessing, no.” He chuckled and with a swipe of his tongue, you were brainwashed.

“It’s been a while since I was called a God.” You teased him. Your head was resting on his torso, his hand drawing small circles in your back.

“Fucking idiot” he guided your lips to his again in a demanding kiss. “Come to Quantico with me” it was an order.

“Spencer” your head was still buzzing, your voice was a mere whisper.

“Please, you’re so much better than the local police. I can get you in the BAU, I know Hotch liked your work and we can pull in some fa—“ 

“And owe my life to you?” Your question took him out of place, and his aspiring smile turned into hurt. “Honey, what if we hate each other again in months, uh? Then we’ll be working together and seeing each other every day. That’s not…” your voice was shrinking with each word.

“No, we won’t” He was certain, his puppy eyes were begging you to agree. “I could not hate you even if I tried, and gosh , have I tried” he covered his eyes with the ball of his hands in frustration.

“Well, what if I hate you?” You asked with a smirk to ease the tension.

“Then” he uncovered his face, “you would have to forgive me eventually because I would be around you all the time like a satellite.” He kissed you.

“Okay” you smiled into the kiss.

“Please come, and do the testing at least.” He begged once again against your lips.

“Okay.” You broke the distance again with a kiss, sealing the deal.

[voidspiraling]

Time to talk abt everyone’s fav toxic yaoi LukaTill!!! Wait whattttt??

Hello friends have you ever noticed the weird similarities the number one rookie and the ruler of the stage have? Cuz they’ve been rattling around in my pea sized brain for a while now. (They were also my first Alnst ship but that’s not relevant rn) I think their “relationship” with one another is interesting based on the crumbs we have so far. I wanted to look a little deeper at how they relate to each other. Bc out of everyone in the cast Luka and Till are the most mysterious. This isn’t really an analysis just me rambling abt these two.

Anywho let’s start from the beginning and to do that we have to rewatch the sweet dream MV!

This is the first “interaction” between LukaTill and what sparked my love for the ship in the first place (Sorry Ivan! I love u too tho!)

In this scene a young Till is confined in a room and is forced to watch videos of a young Luka. However the way these shots are framed it looks like Luka is watching Till. I say this bc when you watch the full video it ends with Luka burying his face into his knees to escape from the bright lights of the camera flash (it could be triggering a migraine since I think I read somewhere he gets chronic migraines) But when you switch scenes it ends on Luka looking at Till but Till’s eyes are covered.

Thematically I think this is meant to show how Luka is like a final boss that looms over Till looking down on him. Even though they’ve never met Luka has had some influence over Till’s upbringing. In fact Urak calls Till “the ultimate weapon” probably bc Till is meant to be Luka’s foil. Where Luka is fragile and elegant Till is resilient and rough. In fact Luka’s popularity actually increased the rate of pet human ownership. I took this shot to mean that what Luka represents and symbolizes had played a part in shaping Till. Remember Urak was trying to make Till obedient through violence, likely what Heperu did to Luka. We don’t know exactly how bad Luka was treated by his guardian but we can assume from the crumbs that we have that it was bad bad. Like Till levels of bad. I’m pretty sure Heperu stopped Luka’s heart when he rebelled and is overtly like “Luka is only perfect because I made him that way.” It’s such an awful thing to say and somehow as malicious as Urak saying “His talent is what kept him alive.”

So while we know that Till is aware of Luka, we aren’t given any insight on how he actually feels about Luka. But we can assume due to the pressure put on by his guardian he probably doesn’t like Luka and maybe even fears him.

We also know that Luka has had his eye on Till as well. This is the ending scene in R3 after Ivan sang abt his yearning for Till. Here Luka has completed a Rubik’s cube and is staring at the teal and red sides, these are Till’s colors. Teal for his eyes and red from his brand, Till is mostly seen wearing some type of red. I think that even from the beginning rounds Luka knew that he would face off against Till in the final round. I say this bc out of all the contestants in Alnst stage Till is the most musically gifted. (I’m talking abt in canon the actual singers are amazing) We see Till start to sing and write music sheets when he was a literal baby. He sang more than he spoke. And in most shots of Till in the garden he’s playing an instrument or writing in music sheet paper while the other kids played with each other.

Ivan mentions it in his R3 interview but Till is literally an artistic genius. I think his profile said he struggles in everything else, but in stuff like art and music he excels way beyond his peers. That’s why even though his vocals are rated criminally low (like c’mon akugetsu vocals are heavenly what are you aliens on) he has the fastest selling album and consistently tops the charts when he releases a song.

There was also a chart showing the market value of each contestant over a period of time as well as the strengths and weaknesses of each contestant. At the end of the graph Mizi and Sua we’re both around 60/100. Hyuna and Ivan were at 80/100. And Luka and Till were at 100/100 (Important to mention that Lukas graph was a straight line at 100 meanwhile Till’s graph went up and down like crazy before settling at 100). Basically Luka and Till were like the best of the best. The only flaw on their profile was that Luka was fragile due to his health and that Till was aggressive. Musically they were perfect. And Luka likely knew this. I interpreted this as even though Till hasn’t met Luka yet he is still being watched by him. Like a hunter vs prey situation. It also sets up the power dynamic between LukaTill early on.

Now let’s talk abt the artwork of Luka and Till.

Another similarity they have is in this art from the school AU. All the characters have a cute drawing like this with hearts in their pupils looking at the other half of their pair. IvanTill are looking at each other and Hyuluka are looking at each other. But the thing that jumped out to me was that Luka and Till are the only two without hearts in their eyes. If it was just one character I would just think it was a mistake, but the fact that it’s these two makes me think it’s intentional.

Also in this series IvanTill and Hyuluka are heavily focused on, it’s through these relationships that we the humanity of the characters. Yet in the artbook Luka rates his affection with Hyuna at 70% and Till rates his affection with Ivan at 70%. As we the series progresses we see how important Hyuna is to Luka and Ivan to Till. So why the lack of hearts and the 70% rating? Do Luka and Till love in the same way? Are they incapable of romantically loving someone? Do they distance themselves from their loved ones for fear of vulnerability? And why don’t we have their pov of the pivotal moments in their relationship? Like Till’s pov of the meteor shower scene and Luka’s pov abt hyunwoo’s death. There’s so much mystery surrounding them and how the love their most important person.

Let’s also talk abt this merch from Alnst stage. Sorry for the poor quality but I’ll try my best to explain my delusions. So something I wanted to point out is that here LukaTill are the only two seen with flowers and with gore. Luka is standing on a stage made from the corpse of the alien that looks like the moon and has purple roses. Meanwhile Till he is standing in the blood of Freddie the alien in his guitar that he killed, and it looks like green grass. Till has a red clematis flower crown. I thought it was interesting how here LukaTill have this contrasting them in their merch. Life vs death, Till is surrounded by blood while Luka is surround by bone. I think this is meant to show how they both cope with their situation. They both live in a dystopian society and to cope they have to revel in the bloodshed of it all. For Till it’s violently rebelling against the aliens, seen by the freshly spilled blood of an alien, and for Luka it’s about having a reputation of being more powerful than his opponent, so overpowering that they have no chance of surviving if they’re up against him, evident by the long decayed corpse of an alien.

However the flowers represent their softer side. I think at their natures they are actually very gentle people. For Till it’s more obvious that he’s a sweetheart you just need to read his birthday comic to know how cute and lovable he is. For Luka you have to reach a bit bc we rarely see any sides of him besides his ruler of the stage persona. But I think in his interview when they ask what his favorite part of Anakt garden was he said it was playing hide and seek with the other kids. I thought that was uncharacteristically sweet to say. I was expecting him to say the classes were good or the music theory was really interesting. But no. His favorite part of being in the garden was getting to play with the other kids. (I hate that Till died but my heart also feels bad for Luka ;-;)

Another thing I wanted to mention is that Till has a flower crown in his art while Luka has a rose with thorns in his merch art. I honestly thought they would be reversed since Luka is “crowned” ruler of the stage and Till is pretty spiky, pretty sure there was merch where he’s just a spike ball lol. They almost seem to be referencing each in some weird way. This is most likely a coincidence tho since the flower crown is suppose to represent Till’s attachment to the innocent fantasy of the past and I’m like 99% sure Luka is a reference to the little prince. (A book abt a blond haired kid and a rose you should read it you def won’t get depression from it) Still I thought it would be interesting to point out.

LukaTill also share a lot more similarities than even I realized when i was looking back at all the content we have so far. For example, they’re the only two characters we’ve seen play an instrument. Guitar and violin. In their early rounds they both overwhelmed their opponent and won by a landslide. The only reason they’re alive is because of their musical talent. They both got messed up hands Luka and his purple fingertips compared to Till with his bandaged ones. Their alien owners are literal trash who have no regard for their life in anyway (i feel like the other guardians weren’t as bad bc to my knowledge Ivan, Sua and Mizi didn’t have their life put in immediate danger. Meanwhile Luka’s owner stopped Luka’s heart as a punishment. And Till’s guardian just assaults him without any regard for his safety or blood loss.) There’s so many little details these two share despite the fact that they’re just suppose to be two characters that clash with each other. Like imagine if LukaTill was the ship that had more focus in the series. This stuff would’ve driven me nuts!

The point I’m trying to make is that while LukaTill are like polar opposites they are also really really similar. I wonder if Luka is what Till would’ve turned into if he lived long enough. And I wonder if Till is similar to a younger Luka.

Super excited for the next video Vivimeng puts out! I’m going back to grieving for Till cya.

[comatosebunny09]

Aight I know this is normally pain central pero I gotta share this with SOMEBODY before I lose it, because there ain't enough fics out here exploring the whole mind reading ability thing that Sylus got. And this shit came to me in a dream.

So what had happened was, I found myself in Linkon tryna get my bearings at a park. Thankfully, I wasn't alone in this because one of my friends was next to me. We started comparing notes on how we got here until it clicks and she's like "oh shit we in that otome game you been obsessing over lately!"

Heart, meet floor. All of a sudden my brain is on overdrive tryna figure out a solution because we are not built for this shit. It's all fun and games, sure when it's pixels, pero in reality?? We're fucking cooked. No evols, no money, no ID.

"Bestie lower your voice I beg. Now is not the time to be our loud ass selves. We gotta lay low and figure this shit out." "Oh come on, it's just a dating sim right? You're acting like there's yanderes in here." "...." "Oh hell nah."

By now we seem to have found a path to the main street. That uncomfy feeling of being watched has been creeping up on us the whole time. I wasn't sure if it was just the stares we were getting from the people in the park and the bustling street. We definitely stood out like sore thumbs, which is never a good sign since we're brown and I have yet to see a face that wasn't pale in this city.

While I'm trying to locate a map or something, she leans toward me and says "Nena am I fucking tweaking right now or has that big ass black bird been following us?" My neck muscles were hurting from trying not to whip my head around to look. Because ain't no fucking way this man already knows we're here. I'm staring really hard at the subway map in front of us like it was holding the answers to the universe.

"Does it have red eyes?" "Yes....should I be worried?" "Very."

Apparently in Linkon, there is no turnstile to jump over, it's just a solid metal automatic sliding door. Cue us speed walking towards a parking lot in hopes of finding a getaway. The ominous feeling of being watched is much stronger now that we know the source. Just as we found a car, two sets of footsteps are behind us. I turn my head hoping it's not the twins. No dice, they knocked our asses out before I could gasp.

When I came to with a massive headache, I realized I was sitting in a frighteningly familiar living room facing the wall of guns. Looking around, I see my bestie is out cold next to me. I also don't see any exits, but I do see Mephisto. Now I'm holding an awkward staring contest with a mechanical crow as if that's gonna stop him from alerting big papi that the prisoner is awake. Stupid, I know, but hey what the fuck else could I do? My limbs and my homie are out of commission, it's a wrap bro.

I'm hearing multiple voices coming this way and a fresh wave of anxiety just washed over me. This man can read minds and holy fuck I know WAY TOO MUCH about the lore. Lord knows what he will do when he sees that shit, because I ain't the fucking MC here. I can hear that deep ass voice behind the door. My paranoia has now hit peak and just jumped to the fuck it we ball stage. Now I know others would attempt the seduction route to survival pero I can't flirt worth a damn and I know I'm dead already so ya know what? I'm gonna jump to the whole other end of the desperation spectrum and convince this man that I am criminally fucking insane. For the plot.

It's time for my ADHD brain to shine and what better way to do that than by weaponizing my hyper fixation and blasting the Bee Movie as loud as I mentally can. Like an impenetrable wall of fever dream uncanny valley shit posting. All while holding a blank face.

The door opens and I try to throw a quick glance only for me to do a double take. This man is not only built like a brick shit house but he also had to bend down a little to enter the room. That profile was a fucking lie there is no way he's just 6'2. My 5'4 ass is sweating as I take a deep breath. Time to lock the fuck in and keep my eyes on the floor because sir you ain't getting shit out of me. He is standing in front of me and ordering the twins to move my bestie to another room. Now it's just me and him left, shitshitshitSHI-

"I'm pleased to know at least someone knows how to appreciate a fine rug." "..." "Did the twins take your tongue during transport?" "..." "Or maybe it was your manners, it is quite rude to ignore your host after all."

He grasped my chin and lifted my face only to find that my eyes are squeezed shut. Wow this man is a walking furnace and he smells fucking delicious. We must stay focused. I'm trying so hard not to open them and this smug bastard is chuckling at me.

"Now how did you already know to avoid my eyes, little one?" "..." "How about a small trade, you open your eyes for me and I will open my hand so you can breathe, that sound fair to you?"

Wait wha- oh shit! This asshole waited till I exhaled to choke me! I tried so hard to hold it but it didn't last long. My eyes flew wide open and holy fuck this dude is in my face. No concept of personal space to be found. Thank God I locked in my mental wall before this because I would have been lost in those bloody depths of wine he calls eyes. I'm trying to catch my breath and he already activated his eye.

I watched this man's face go from emotionless to curious to irritated to confused until it seemed to settle on mild horror and genuine concern in the span of 45 seconds. My head felt like it was being ripped into pieces from the prior headache and now the strain of holding him off. And yet I persisted somehow. I started getting tired at minute 9. He started to push past a hole in my defenses only for me to fall back on my second wall which focused on Shrek 3.

To which this man was fucking flabbergasted and said "What the fu-"

And then I woke up.

Do with this information what you will

This was a fucking rollercoaster. 😂😂😂 Love this for you. Wish my dreams could be this fun. I need you to write this like, yesterday. Fucking hilarious. Not the Bee Movie and Shrek. Lmfao, hope you hit his mental probing with the

[saitama-division]

Division Rap Battle Dead Pool

Do not ask me what this is and why I am posting it, this is yet another product of the insanity that goes on in our 18+ discord server

Credit to @toyama-division / @suginami-division for the idea! 😈

It’s no surprise that with the formation of the Division Rap Battles by the Japanese Government (also known as Chuohku), many teams have been formed either through coercion or by their own volition, with those teams come many high profile people or very prolific celebrities both old and young. As such, a betting ring was formed, by who? Well, no one knows, it could be from criminals to politicians to random civilians to even other contestants in the very same tournament, all that matters is that every person in the Division Rap Battles has a bounty on their head, this is a list of how much they’re apparently worth.

As for the reason why? Figure it out yourself.

Ace Douglas: $0.08

Asato Rikiya: $100

Kyō Sakuma: $100

“Sen”: $100

Criss Hiromi: $500

Ishihara Daisuke: $1,000

Asahi Tomoharu: $1,000

Takumi Wakaba: $2,000

Ryuunosuke Sekiguchi: $2,000

Azusa Furukawa: $5,000

Naoki Hamasaki: $5,000

Teijo Masakazu: $8,000

Yoichi Shujo: $10,000

Fleuret Oshiro: $15,000

Kai Quinlan: $20,000

Mireya Quinlan: $30,000

“Ruichi”: $50,000

Eldrid Iwasaki: $50,000

Zakari Hiroya: $100,000

Ming Kawanoe: $100,000

Ryuko Umemoto: $350,000

Wataru Sasaki: $400,000

Oki Teagan: $500,000

Tasuku Kawanoe: $500,000

Kisouna Yuzairu: $500,000

Ayumu Hayami: $500,000

Kokomi Morozov: $500,000

Keiko Yumi: $600,000

Miku Shirazuki: $700,000

Maki Umemoto: $750,000

Joey Kurusu: $900,000

Aranai Norikoru: $1,000,000

Jack Verrill: $1,000,000

Daiki Kamiyama: $1,000,000

Queen Card: $1,000,000

Lyall Shiba: $1,000,000

Shuu Edogawa: $1,000,000

Nikki Yoshie: $1,000,000

Yano Ietsuna: $1,000,000

Shisuta Heisha: $1,000,000

Luis Kōkyū: $2,000,000

Seiji Tsukimoto: $2,000,000

Evelyn Rose: $2,000,000

Aika Yumi: $2,000,000

Shian Meizono: $2,000,000

Kureha Koizumi: $2,000,000

Ren Nakashima: $2,000,000

Miho Kobayashi: $3,000,000

Rashaad Young: $3,000,000

Meari Miracle: $3,000,000

Ted Bridges: $3,000,000

Chinami Chinen: $3,000,000

Diêu Hoàng: $4,000,000

Juu Judice: $4,000,000

“Ageha Shinozaki”: $4,000,000

Kensaku Morimoto: $4,000,000

Eiji Noguchi: $4,000,000

Sakura Kito: $5,000,000

Hisoka Tetsumatsu: $5,000,000

Kanra Akemi: $5,000,000

Mina Nakayama: $5,000,000

Elliot Shimizu: $5,000,000

Sanyu Inouye: $5,000,000

Kira Chinen: $5,000,000

Sayaka Miyuki: $5,000,000

Yuuya Kanata: $5,000,000

Kotan Anchikar: $5,000,000

Karada Kessaku: $6,000,000

Yorii Sakuma: $6,000,000

Saigo Fuyugami: $6,000,000

Yuki Kuraokami: $6,000,000

Kaiji Sano: $6,000,000

Makina Setsukura: $6,000,000

Masa Judice: $7,000,000

Ivelisse Martinez: $7,000,000

Taria Chinen: $7,000,000

Iwao Masuda: $7,000,000

Lola Takahashi: $7,000,000

Ritsuko Okada: $8,000,000

Nadya Kuromiya: $8,000,000

Kanon Hojo: $8,000,000

Kotono Ohara: $8,000,000

“Aruto Shinozaki”: $9,000,000

“Masuzō Shinomiya”: $9,000,000

Touya Kisaragi: $9,000,000

“Cinder”: $9,000,000

Max Soukoku: $9,000,000

Sumire Shinomiya: $10,000,000

Kaoru Shinozaki: $10,000,000

Mai Yousei: $10,000,000

Reiaki Suzubayashi: $13,000,000

Rintaro Himura: $15,000,000

Kyler Aaron: $15,000,000

Anika Kiyozaki: $17,000,000

Eko Seishin: $20,000,000

Reika Aichi: $20,000,000

Alexis Ward: $20,000,000

Yuno Kamora: $30,000,000

Ryūzō Mizutori: $40,000,000

Yuriko Kuromiya: $50,000,000

Akihisa Mashiro: $50,000,000

Tomi Chōten: $500,000,000

Wild Shīnu: $7,100

Jigoku Riderz: 9,100

Blade Maiden: $70,000

Private Party: $150,000

Otaku Corps: $1,600,500

Sazanka Zombeez: $2,100,000

Sakurai Clan: $2,500,000

Valor Guard: $3,500,000

Liberty Guild: $5,000,000.08

ECO BooN: $5,000,100

MIHANASA: $5,600,000

Veiled Vanguard: $7,000,000

Kuma no ie: $8,500,000

Miraitabi: $11,001,000

Oculus: $13,000,000

Polar Knights: $13,060,000

Femme Fatale: $14,000,000

R.I.P. Märchen: $14,700,000

Birds of Prey: $15,000,000

Last Judgement: $15,500,000

ENIGMA: $16,000,000

Justice Shield: $16,300,000

Lovesick: $17,000,000

Pixel Syndicate: $25,000,000

CodeX: $30,000,000

Sounds of Silence: $31,000,000

Silent Tragedy: $33,000,000

Kiya Kara: $48,002,000

OverDrive: $60,000,000

Wicked Requiem: $78,000,000

Death Row Block: $83,000,000

Jet Set Trio: $508,000,000

@shinagawa-division @kobedivision @kanazawa-division @uenodivision @aoyama-division @arakawa-division @roppongi-division @edogawa-division @shizuokadivision @katsushika-division @niigata-division @minato-division03 @akihabara-division03 @minato-division01 @akihabaradivision @setagaya-division @taito-division @okinawa-division @hakodate-division @naradivision @naha-division @sapporo-division @oita-division @fukuokadivision1 @sendaidivision @fukuokanodivision @obihiro-division @ota-division @ginza-division

[imagining-in-the-margins]

CM Office Party Challenge 🎉

The following are prompts including an Office Party! Reader, Original Character, Character/Character ships, Gen/Platonic fics are allowed!

This event is over (Masterlist of Fics here), but you are welcome to use any of these prompts. If you would like to be added to the existing Masterlist of entries, please check out the Rules below!

🎊 Prompts 🎊

It’s a BAU kid’s birthday!

The BAU throws a ridiculously large/lavish bridal/baby shower.

It’s rare that the BAU gets to celebrate the return of an old team member.

The team hardly believes it when Character A agrees to dance with B.

After sharing sad prom stories (or lack thereof), Penelope throws a BAU prom.

It’s characters first Missed Holiday Meal (MHM). It’s also the first time a holiday meal actually felt like home.

The team discusses holiday traditions. Characters decide to try a few out.

The FBI is throwing a family picnic. The playful competitions get a little… heated.

It’s the anniversary of the BAU. The team throws a party to celebrate the greats.

Penelope planned a Murder Mystery party… with a bunch of criminal profilers. Great. (Bonus if a non-profiler wins)

The BAU has been dealing with a lot of stress. Penelope plans a day at a pottery shop so everyone can make something. It causes even more stress.

The team pairs up to play the newlywed game. Someone starts to notice that, despite not being partners, A knows the answers to every question about B…

Rossi is finally (actually) retiring. The party brings together friends that haven’t seen each other in years.

An anniversary/award brings back old team members. There used to be a time when they couldn’t fathom a week away from one another, but they haven’t spoken in years.

More Prompts Below + Create your own! 🎉

Each team member has to find an obscure holiday to celebrate (pi day, random acts of kindness day, unicorn day, etc.). Character goes above and beyond.

Character has very surprising responses to Never Have I Ever. They have even more shocking admissions.

There is nothing that a bonfire can't fix.

Characters are stuck at a party, but they can't stop thinking about each other (based on "Dinner & Diatribes" by Hozier).

Characters always find each other. Even at a masquerade, when their faces are almost entirely covered.

A party is the perfect place to see a new side to your coworker.

🎄 Holiday Specific Prompts 🦃

Halloween prompts / Winter Holiday prompts

It’s time for Penelope’s Halloween Party! Someone comes in an… unexpected costume.

The single members of the team decide to host a lonely hearts club dinner on Valentine’s Day. Two people leave together.

Characters end up beneath very suspiciously placed mistletoe at the holiday party.

Character accidentally started an ugly Christmas sweater tradition which somehow turned into a contest.

After an awful case, the team comes back on Christmas Eve to find that Penelope has gathered their loved ones and quickly decorated the BAU as a surprise.

Character only wanted to reveal that they are someone's Secret Santa at the BAU Christmas Party but they end up confessing a lot more than that.

🎂 Dialogue Prompts 🍰

"... Surprise?"

"What are adults supposed to do at a kid's birthday party. Does anyone actually know?"

"Whatever you do, be sure to avoid the food. I don't know who made it, but it's awful." "Oh, it uh... it was me."

"If you help me win, I'll owe you one great big giant favor."

"I just never saw you as a... party type of person."

"I think you're bluffing." "Am I?"

"You are the last person I expected to have attended clown school. I figured your clownish nature was inherent in who you are."

"So, if you had to guess, who do you think is going to drunkenly confess their love for someone else at this party?"

"The year is over. Did you accomplish everything you hoped for?"

"I fucking hate balloons."

"What's the point of a fridge on the jet if not for a celebratory drink?"

"If we're stuck here all night, we might as well have fun."

"I love you. I do. But you are a terrible Santa."

"Next time, I'm in charge of the karaoke mic."

🎈Rules 🎁

The fic can be a Reader insert, an Original Character, a character/character ship, a platonic ship, or a Gen fic. It can feature any Criminal Minds character. AUs and crossovers are more than welcome.

Tag me in the fic, or send the link to me in a Direct Message. It can be already written, or you can write it for the challenge - I’m collecting both! You can also tag it “#mentioningmargins” which is a tag I track.

The fic can be any genre, but ONLY send me smut if your bio states you are 18+. I DO NOT WANT smut written by minors. Ever. At all. I will check. Platonic ships and pure, fluffy fics are 100% allowed.

Please include Content Warnings and a one-sentence Summary of the fic in your post.

[restricted-on-13th]

Kaishin but it's The Bachelor

Be warned: this is a long post

I'll make at least 3 follow-up post for this, one for all the scenes I lost (ohmyfricking, my ice skating scene, ferrish whell confession, amusement park date, meteor shower escapade, night dances and my tango dance which is half of the masquerade, the outsider povs too sooooobbb) and the other two for Shinichi as the Bachelor instead or a mix of the two

Now for those who don't know what The Bachelor is, it's a dating reality show where at least 30 candidates are given chances to go on a date with the Bachelor (the person they are actively courting) This has rounds where each contestant is given roses by the Bachelor, signifying they are staying on the show, or aren't given any which means they are disqualified. There are events and dates in this show too along with activities where sometimes, the candidates or the Bachelor can choose the venue or site. Click this link to understand more, you can watch videos to get a handle on it too. I only watched some of the Asian spin offs of this show so it might be a bit different for me. (I might also have some original setting that might be different from how the reality show worked)

My setting includes:

-A walk-in wardrobe for the contestants (includes already styled outfits for the whole look, this is a life saver to Shinichi as a candidate who walked out and immediately got dissed on his clothing by the other candidates, the staff and the viewers (later when the episode was aired) he was sent back inside the wardrobe and chose the clothes off a mannequin instead even though it wasn't a feature of the show to take the whole outfit but it was later added due to Shinichi, he also met a candidate called Mimeko who is a seamstress who he asks for help too, she also joined the fun in dressing up Shinichi)

-A viewer voting polls for the dates and contestants (explainable, have fun ;) )

-Introductory video that is shown in the episodes, the bachelor and the candidates each have one (I don't remember if this is part of the actual show but im adding this for original setting if it isnt, this can go 2 ways: each of the candidates videos would be while they are introduce in episode one, meaning everyone will see in the show, or it can also be only shown to the bachelor, the viewers and the staff instead without showing anything to the candidates, only having watch their own and the bachelor's introductory video instead)

30 girls/guys or mixed cause we're being inclusive- The Bachelor staff in this au, post-conan timeline and far off into the future. Shinichi is working as a consultant and private detective, he's also known as a closed off famous detective that managed to take down an organization (BO) at the age of 19 going on 20, he's also been credited to working with multiple international law enforcement notably with the FBI, closing multiple unsolved and dangerous cases that involves high profile criminals. He doesn't have social media (to the loss of his fans) but is regularly covered by the media, leading him to have a large media presence as a detective (very professional, bro does not share life details or preferences easily, fans commonly and constantly bemoan the fact that the man is married to his work). He grew up from a haughty teenage detective meddling in crime scenes to the now beloved Ice Prince of the media, having visuals passed down from his mom that make you think he's an idol/model or enough to make you bent (while not as large as his female fans, he does have a sizable male fans). He also is biologically younger, it being one of the lingering effects from APTX as the poison literally destroys his cells and fats to turn him into a kid (seriously, how does bro survive that?), I always headcannon that Shinichi, after taking the antidote, would suffer from side effects for a while. In this au, he survived largely unscathed, only with a decreased immune system after taking the antidote and looking younger than all of his peers as he got turned back to the age he took the poison, so teenage body, when he's supposed to be 19-20. With also taking a hit on his immune system, his growth also got stunted meaning that after recovering his strength, health and immune system for like a year, he's much more smaller than Adult Kaito here in the show.

He's now 27 and after surviving attempts on his life, bless his heart, Shinichi is sent off to The Bachelor without his consent.

Sonoko, Ran and Yukiko planning in background, days pass, shoves a contract to the reality show to Shinichi's face with his signature forged already

Cue multiple near begging, near bribing, and near escape from Shinichi

The girls reason would be after a multiple failures in matchmaking, setting dates and introducing Shinichi to just about anyone (either he attracts murderers, creeps, stalkers or he just ends up befriending the person they introduced to him, its mostly the females that he befriends though, all the women he met and befriended has a tacit understanding of Shinichi being too much like kicked puppy that they can’t help pity the guy when it's so obvious he's not into it but still respects them, his friends goodwill and his mother's desire for grandkids, it also doesn't help that he's like a girl friend, understanding girl talks, shopping, being a dork that's so earnest even when he sucks ag giving fashion advice to his GirlFriends and the adorable mothering he does for the shounen tanteidan, some even privately think that damn this guy is a better girl than me or suspects he's gay due to remaining single for long and the SIGNS)

He is ;) he just doesn't know it yet

They're getting desperate here and it doesnt help that Shinichi is too much of a taciturn ass in dating, having little to no love life or worse, a disaster in his love life (Shinichi's love life is NOTORIOUS, not only in divisions one but in all law enforcements he works with, it also doesn't help that he gets psychos, yanderes and criminals as his partners and when they inevitably get possessive, pissy and angry at either Shinichi or people close to him, resulting to threats that are almost often publicly stated,

Cue the media storm and coverage cause man's love life is publicly known as a disaster

yes, there have been multiple memes about Shinichi's love life, Shinichi is unaware of the memes)

Sonoko: That detective geek can't possibly seduce my Kaito-sama! (She wants Shinichi to introduce Kaito to her and they'll have their wonderful love story UwU)

Ran being the good big sister: Shinichi needs someone by his side (preferably, not murderous)

Yukiko: Shin-channnnn, you need a girlfriend! Or a boyfriend or you'll end up single past your prime! I need to see my grandchildren soon! (Also low-key worried that Shinichi is going to be eternal single and she doesn't want him to be lonely)

Now this could go in a number of ways, Shinichi as The Bachelor or Shinichi as a candidate for The Bachelor (Kuroba Kaito, up and coming Magician who has won multiple international awards due to his Magic shows)

I need you to check Exhibit A and B to get what I mean regarding ELO and Non-ELO, its below 'As a Candidate'

Kaito, after hanging up the metaphorical cape on the mantle (He and Conan had a goodbye meet where Conan is soon going to leave so he can live his original life where they chat and talk all night long, both enjoying their limited time together, Kaito knows Conan is a teenage detective and has a crush on his Meitantei, he couldn't deny it anymore especially after finding out what happened to the other but he won't act on it while the other is pint sized so he just enjoys their time together, but in ELO, even though he already had pretty much all the clues, he respected Conan's privacy and didn't try to find out his real identity but in non-ELO, Kaito did snoop and found Kudo Shinichi though he didn't act on his crush as he knew the other still had Ran and needed time to get his life together) He comes back to Japan from Paris, having received an internationally acclaimed award in stage magic, is either in this reality show due to his Mom (Yukiko and Chikage setting their sons up together where Chikage actually spills this to Kaito, where him being his devious cunning self in Non-ELO, after having found out that all these years, Ran and Shinichi didn't get together and actually settled into a familial friendship instead, being presented the opportunity to snatch his Meitantei, takes it) or for his work (like connections wanting to support him so they gave him the opportunity to be in this show which Kaito agreed to due to being amused and curious and doing it just for formality's sake)

(Introductory video- I'll add it later as I have to rewrite it again along with at least 8 scenes that got deleted too :( )

As a Candidate:

Shinichi as a candidate is just Shinichi, he won't hate on the mysterious bachelor but that doesn't mean he's not grumpy :)

Shinichi also doesn't recognize Kuroba is Kid while Kid can either recognize Shinichi immediately or doesnt recognize him

When the bachelor (Kuroba) is first introduce, Shinichi just writes him off, preferring to brood and be annoyed, thinking escape plan after escape plans. He can't just run off without a proper excuse though, due to the contract that says he need to stay for the whole duration of the show until he's disqualified, he shivers to think of himself as a candidate in this awful reality show, and also because Yukiko called up her connections (the Producer Director of the show) to "pretty please make Shin-chan stay there, I just want my baby to get laid" which is just a thinly veiled command of "don't let him escape, I. Want. Those. Grandchildren." So he reigns himself to going along with it for now, ie going on those dates.

Exhibit A: Shinichi bonds with The Bachelor, Kuroba (he can know or not know about Shinichi being Meitantei) and becomes his shield for Begone Thots after Kaito (Shinichi can know about this or doesnt know, Kaito might also be purposely doing this cause you know, this might all be Kaito courting Shinichi hehehe, or Kaito doesn't recognise Shinichi and just outright thinks it would be funny and he wants to at least have someone on his side to use as a metaphorical human shield) shares his fake love life, drawing pity from Shinichi (staging many opportunities where Shinichi actively engaged in dates to help Kaito due to feeling sorry for the man and a kindred spirit to which Kaito knowing who he is, would gladly take it, or Kaito not knowing who he is, would slowly fall in love with him)

Exhibit B: Shinichi actively antagonises Kuroba to "get the hell out of this reality show quickly by being disqualified by the angry Bachelor" (Kaito can know about Shinichi, to which he's lovingly infuriated with Shinichi and want to either smack or kiss him, or to Kaito not knowing about Shinichi therefore is angry back until Shinichi also starts to dislike the guy, now this can go into the Enemies to Lovers Trope :) imagine the reactions of the viewers at the end of the reality show, Im calling it Eemies to Lovers Offshoot or ELO for short)

I can see Shinichi calling Takagi in the middle of the show, begging (bribing, blackmailing) to deliver case files to him. He'd be a candidate in this offshoot, with the candidate's phones being confiscated so he staged a little heist to steal a phone, mostly because it was written in the contract for Shinichi so yes, its targeted ;)

cause Shinichi, you don't need your files and work while on a reality show, you workaholic tehee~♡ -Yukiko)

3 outcomes possible you can combine ;)

The deed was caught in camera only due to Kaito suspecting Shinichi doing something and what do ya know, Heisei Holmes performs a heist (they dont recognise each other offshoot, ELO route)

The deed caught in camera only due to Kaito amusingly following Shinichi (he knows Shinichi as meitantei but Shinichi doesnt know him as Kid)

It wasn't explicitly caught in camera and only became known when at a later episode of the Bachelor, Takagi came with the case files, leading the staff currently at that time finding out about the little heist. Of course, the production staff reviewed their videos and recordings and was able to find small snippets of Shinichi's planning, lending an amused, indignant, and speechless air to everyone inside the viewing room. (Later episode that aired where Takagi arrived with the files involved a small snapshots of clips of Shinichi planning and a small clip of Shinichi walking down the hallway for a staff only room and a bathroom, confidently while sneakily striding and leaving the hallway with a skip in his steps and a small smile, there was an explanatory text that rolled up in the screen after this explaining how the staff found out about the Little heist the famous Heisei Holmes did, after this is a clip of a confrontation by the Producer Director to Shinichi with the director just asking which phone he used to contact Takagi-keibu and Shinichi just gives a smug smirk as he sharply glances back at the PD pointedly) (this can be ELO or not-ELO route)

There would also be a scene in the middle of the date where Shinichi goes along (or snarkily if its the enemies to lovers trope/ ELO) with Kuroba and he excuses himself to the bathroom, going inside the stall to immediately try to escape.

Cue Kaito waiting outside thinking why the hell is his date taking so long inside the bathroom (grumingly in enemies to lovers or ELO route, or amusingly if Kaito knows Shinichi and he just cracks jokes about how this is like being on a date with a girl then drawing references of Shinichi being the girl then Shinichi having wifey vibes just without the ability to cook elaborate recipes, yes, shinichi can cook basic meals in this au, nowwwwwww with this statement about Shinichi not being able to cook elaborate meals? Shinich fans zoom on this, why? Cause this little tidbit of fact isn't a widely known fact except for the Very Dedicated Old fans of Shinichi cause man is tightlipped about his private life. Most surface level fans just assume he can cook and with most defaulting that since he's mister perfect then he's able to cook like 5 star chef but nooooo, thats not it. The statement of about Shinichi not being able to make elaborate recipes cements to the oldies in the Lovers of One-Truth club, oldest Shinichi stan fanclub, that Kuroba might potentially or actually be a Shinichi stan. Viewers and fans start a whole commentary and discussion about this theory on twitter)

Shinichi comes out of the bathroom with a glum face (right after escaping through a bathroom window, running from the PD who while walking around the place, bought a milktea while at work and was enjoying the view, was caught slacking by Shinichi who they found was unexpectedly escaping through the window *spider man meme pointing at each other* , running and dogding the hordes of staff the PD called to catch him, the PD gets called back to work, until he gets tackled by one and gets put through the most intense retouching of makeup and clothing in under 1 minute by a terrifyingly capable makeup artist and fashion coordinator)

Shinichi stepping sleepily into the living room while the candidates lounge around Kaito in the late morning (buttering him up, acting coy with him or just having a nice conversation while Kaito there is being a charming gentleman) Kaito then cheerily says "Kudo-kun, good morning!" as Shinichi just coldly steps aside him ignoring him or more like not computing anything then makes a beeline for the kitchen, hovering right in front of the coffee machine and making eyes with it (homoerotic, terrifying and intense)

The atmosphere in the living room just drops after that cold shoulder, silence pervading as the camera rolls and records it.

Now 3 outcomes yet again hahahaha:

Kaito takes offense to his cold shoulder (unintentional) and it both further angers him with Shinichi thus giving more fuel to the ELO trope where the morning scene is then repeated in later episodes of the Bachelor, it's only Kaito and Shinichi in the living room where Kaito soon takes notice that Shinichi didn't mean to offend him and just isn't really a morning person

Kaito takes offense to this and Shinichi, playing into this misunderstanding to get disqualified early, doesn't clear it up and this also plays to ELO

Kaito is amused by this as he knows Shinichi, even in his Conan days, takes time to compute and understand the living world in the mornings and that coffee is his life blood (non-ELO)

Before I forget, Why is Shinichi not outright getting disqualified? There are 2 reasons I made up for it, you can choose:

One- I'm using one of my original setting here, instead of that setting only affecting dates and which candidate gets to participate in date chances, I'm adding a feature where it also affects who gets to stay in the show via the giewers voting the candidate they want to stay. Shinichi is constantly getting voted by his fanclub (for the sake of getting Shinichi a normal lover, wink wink), the internet trolls (in ELO route, it's funny cause Kaito clearly dislikes him or in non-ELO route, it's funny cause Shinichi clearly wants to get disqualified) and his friends, colleagues and family (The police force, the FBI, you can throw in the Interpol there, basically all of the law enforcement he worked with, since he also worked on cases internationally, you bet that's a lot and that's still not counting his family and friends where you can also bet that Sonoko would absolutely throw some cash to get people to vote Shinichi, she's not really doing it of course but she will, if given the chance, maybe half for Shinichi's sake but also half for Shinichi to suffer)

This would basically be that one idol in a Chinese idol show, here's for more details. (Yes, I am laughing my ass off right now)

Two: You can ignore number one as this reason is actually logical and very simple, Kaito doesn't vote Shinichi off

In ELO route, he doesn't disqualify Shinichi as he already dislikes the guy and he's only here for formality's sake so he's using Shinichi as an unofficial meat shield (Shinichi is not aware of this) from the other candidates (not that it works much)

In non-ELO route, it's because he wants Shinichi (duh) so he wouldn't want to get him disqualified but if he doesn't recognise Shinichi, same in the ELO route, he uses him as a meat shield though much more official where Shinichi actively tries to spend time with Kaito and get him to enjoy their 'hangouts' and also decidedly a lot less more grumbling as their introduction here didn't sour relations yet (if it's intentionally in Kaito's part in notifying Shinichi about his status as a meat shield to ask for help to get him away from the other candidates so he can spend more time with Shinichi, well, you choose :) )

Now extra scenes:

Boat date

-An event where each candidate would take a 30 minute date on a boat in a lake, the candidates found out about Kaito's Ichthyophobia, only Shinichi took it seriously and didn't laugh or found it funny and where he actively tried to get Kaito to enjoy the date, even in ELO route though a lot more unenthusiastic in making it enjoyable. Kaito later takes note of how Shinichi acted about the reveal, either thankful or thinking that the guy ain't so bad afterall. Kaito's fans, some of Shinichi's fanclub and the viewers also took notice of Shinichi's act and it started a very small subset of Kaishin shippers.

There would also be a few candidates who never actually took the phobia seriously or worse, think they can fix it. They would take their date chances and order food with fishes or actively go to a place with fishes and do those activities. Kaito would either try to endure, frankly say he doesn't like it, or storm out if he can't handle it anymore. Shinichi would later find Kaito in the dorms crying about it where he'd frankly tell him that "People who don't understand his phobia who actively make fun of it or expose him to it isn't worth giving his time for. People who do try to understand it are the ones worth considering and keeping around. "(Wow Shinichi are you advertising yourself? But seriously, even in ELO route, I can see Shinichi comforting Kaito about his phobia. Dislike or not, he'd tell him his opinion frankly and bluntly. He'd offer a shoulder to cry on or for someone to lean on but he'd still say his piece in the most firm gentle voice yet blunt manner of speaking.) Shinichi would then tactlessly blurt out "And hey, if someone wants to kill you, they just need to trap you in a room full of it". This startles a laugh from Kaito as Shinichi sheepishly scratches his head, face a bit flushed from embarrasment as Kaito says "Your head is just full of murder cases, huh? Kudo-kun" (This wouldnt be caught by a camera, this would be Kaito's own private moment, not shared with any of the public)

Garden picnic date alongside a lake

-It's an outside date where all of the candidate are participating, there are candidates who approached kaito during the date but there are also some who enjoyed the view. (Kaito later approached them instead) He entertained and did some magic for them. Shinichi had already split off from the group early on and found an isolated place near the lake under a tree where he read a book, there's only one cameraman who came with him, this can go into the ELO route where Kaito found Shinichi tried to at least be civil but Kaito, knowing from prior experience how rude the other can be, retorted rudely. This would go into a fight (verbally, I think they won't trade blows at least) where Shinichi would end up (accidentally) pushed into the lake. Shinichi would storm out of the garden in wet clothes, flushed with anger in Kaito, where Kaito would be frustrated, angry and slightly apologetic (he'd also take note that the other looks fine in wet clothes, the white polo didn't help) There would also be backlash to Kaito from Shinichi's fanclub and some of the viewers, where some would actively hate Kaito or viewers now disapproving of the magician. This would actively make Kaito think unfavorably on Shinichi, now actively wanting to disqualify him for it but knows he can't cause it would be a media storm. Now considering that there's a viewer poll setting in this au, there would be people banking on Shinichi getting disqualified or Shinichi's fans not voting him for dates. This works as Shinichi wasn't chosen for the dates after this but of course, Shinichi doesn't get disqualified (unfortunately, for Kaito and Shinichi) this also gave rise to the internet trolls who voted Shinichi for dates instead (this also worked after the unvoting fiasco, leading to dates where Kaito and Shinichi is staring with each other in silence until someone inevitably breaks it)

This can also go into the non-ELO route where Kaito instead found Shinichi, where they actively engaged in a conversation without being rude to each other, enjoying the conversation until Shinichi, still a bit sleep deprived from the early leave in the morning to get on time on the scene for the garden setting, dozes off against the tree (kaito is staring and you can't blame him, for someone like Shinichi who often makes cold expressions (often not intenionally, he's just thinking or deducing) or sometimes sneering, its fascinating to see him asleep, face's now set in soft lines. Now if you want it more cliche, Shinichi grumbles and squirms until he finally found the comfortable position, only this position is leaning against Kaito with his head on his shoulder's. (Kaito is screaming inside from how cute and adorable Shinichi is in his sleep)

Pool date

-Shinichi thanks his lucky stars that he doesn't have to take an outfit from a mannequin or coordinate an outfit (often asking his fellow candidates for help to avoid getting criticised) he just grabs a hoodie and swim trunks, taking a book with him and sunglasses. (Going to the pool to read a book.....) Kaito would get accosted by the candidates in the pool while Shinichi is just in the shade (reclining chair, juice in hand, lemon tea, not too sweet with ice and a straw) with a few candidates who prefer to not get wet or doesn't know how to swim. (In ELO route, Kaito would scoff at Shinichi and think how haughty he is, just like any detective he met except tantei-kun)

Shinichi would actually get to bond here with one of the candidates who can't swim (a timid shorter girl who is a seamstress with dark brown hair and wide brown eyes that seemed to dislike him) she initially thought Shinichi was a rude and haughty person (shes a Kaito Kuroba fan) but after getting to know him, she starts to see that he's a pretty nice guy. Shinichi, after talking with her, takes it upon himself to at least help her and teach her how to swim. He gets up from his spot as they both walk to a corner of the pool (the kiddies part or the shallow part) where Shinichi taught her how to swim and float, the very basics to which Kaito interferes in the lesson.

In ELO route, Kaito would interfere in slight disdain that Shinichi might be trying to woo a girl while in a reality show where it's Kaito who is supposed to be courted (wow possessive much?) but found out when he stayed there for a bit while Shinichi was teaching, he stared at Shinichi while Shinichi was getting unerved but resolved to ignore the stare as much as he can. The girl (Im naming her Mimeko) being taught just being 'Don't mind me, you can oggle him Sir as much as you want, thank you very much, he's all yours.' (she's also a Kuroba Kaito fan, she's also a closeted fujoshi while she's just discreetly watching) that he was just being helpful. Kaito gets curious then and stays there for a bit while he also joins in teaching Mimeko-chan about swimming. He thinks that Shinichi is also pretty cool (and sexy, especially when he moves that sunglasses of his head while in the pool, all wet from swimming as he smirks. And never forget adorable, when he beams and smiles when the girl gets the technique he showed right)

In the non-ELO route, Kaito gets jealous of the girl being taught by Shinichi. He subtly signaled to Mimeko-chan that 'he's mine' by volunteering himself to be used as example in swimming or Shinichi is showing an example of it (like kicking his legs while doing the strokes where he asked kaito to hold him while he demonstrated it, Kaito doors as he's told but does it more suggestively, holding his hips instead of his waist while glaring at the girl. Suffice enough she gets the message and also mouthed "need help?" (she's having the time of her life helping her idol and these are two hot men, who wouldnt?) Kaito looks at her and was about to jerk his head in agreement when Shinichi comes up for air and looks back to the girl saying "That's how you do it, did you get it?" Mimeko hastily nods as Kaito smiles innocently at Shinichi, suffice to say that Mimeko did not get Kaito's examples of swimming and only got it right when Shinichi does it (Kaito got a hold on a lot of places that day, mostly Shinichi's waist, hips and chest, ELO route be missing out here)

The Infamous Sherlock Holmes vs Arsène Lupin Fight (almost exclusively for ELO route)

-One fine late morning (cause Shinichi ain't functioning at early morning) Shinichi and Kaito butt heads about the discussion on which is better, Sherlock or Lupin? (This scene would be earlier than most I've written here as I didn't actually write the scenes in chronological order, just when they came in my mind) Shinichi would be trying to find something he can use to make Kaito displeased with him and finding out about him liking Lupin was a good start in getting disqualified. He started the conversation regarding Lupin then said he doesn't like Lupin. Kaito then would ask him what he likes then Shinichi would reply "Sherlock Holmes, of course" then give a throw away comment that Sherlock could capture Lupin and that Lupin is just a thief, he doesn't get the allure of the criminal. (Shinichi just wanted Kaito to dislike him, he was not prepared for what comes next) Kaito takes offense and says "All you detective's are the same! Lupin is a gentleman thief, he can outwit your Sherlock!" Then Shinichi takes offense then starts the fight between two Sherlock Holmes fan and Arsène Lupin fan, from a civil discussion to a verbal dogfight until inevitably Kaito insults Shinichi as a detective and Shinichi insults Kaito as a magician. This is the start of the ELO route. (If you wannt to include this in a non-ELO route then both would still come away from this with Kaito being slightly infuriated and want to kiss him senseless to shut him up, with Shinichi being annoyed with Kaito)

[eleadore]

rec list: hannibal/will 50k+

none of my recs contain mcd or unhappy endings. everything else is fair game & may not be tagged for.

hannibal/will <5k | 5-10k | 10-30k | 30-50k

vena amoris by paperpenchemtrails (nc-17, 55k) ♥️ getting together, slow burn, reality tv AU

Will Graham is a producer on a Bachelor knock off reality TV show. Against his protests and better judgement, Dr. Hannibal Lecter is cast as the primary love interest on the show. Despite his many initial misgivings, Hannibal is a hit, and Will finds himself as drawn into the story Hannibal is creating as everyone watching at home. Everything is going well until Will becomes suspicious that he is the real object of Hannibal's affections, and all of a sudden contestants start to turn up murdered.

sleeping in the knife drawer by emungere (nc-17, 69k) role reversal, s1 AU

Hannibal's an FBI agent. Will's a serial killer. He still has a lot of dogs and dislikes being sociable. Hannibal still wants to wind him up and watch him go.

shark tank by xzombiexkittenx (nc-17, 71k) ♥️ getting together, prison AU

Will and Hannibal meet in prison. Hannibal is still the Ripper, Will is still a profiler who had encephalitis. Only now they're cell mates.

rubies by emungere (nc-17, 79k) feminization, roleplay, crossdressing, s1 AU

Will invites Hannibal over for dinner. Hannibal brings him wine and flowers. A dissection of their pasts and the slow convergence of their domestic lives.

blackbird by emungere (nc-17, 88k) ♥️ D/s, s1 divergent

Shortly after Will kills Garret Jacob Hobbs, he and Hannibal stumble into a D/s relationship. It's a relief to have Hannibal telling him what to do, but the closer they become, the closer he gets to realizing who and what Hannibal really is.

heartstrings by winter_rouge (nc-17, 89k) ♥️ mystery, slow burn, regency AU

In 1847, Will Graham is lost and exhausted after a long journey. To his luck, a carriage rolls past him on the road, and Will meets a strange lord who hires him as his servant. In the sinister Chesapeake Abbey, it becomes unclear who is hiding more secrets: Will himself or the mysterious Mr. Lecter.

what dreams by emungere (nc-17, 92k) slow burn, will finds out, s1 AU

A seduction through physical objects. It starts with a scarf loaned to Will on a cold day, but Hannibal, as usual, isn't satisfied with anything small.

a thousand teeth and yours among them by something_safe, printersdeadly (nc-17, 99k) getting together, pre-s1 AU

Unconventional New Orleans Detective Will Graham meets his match when surgeon Hannibal Lecter asks him to dinner in the aftermath of a murder investigation. As his relationship with the enigmatic Doctor unfolds, Will gets further entrenched in the hunt for not one but two serial killers: the first creating a bloody ode to family values, while the other vanishes bodies into the swamps and bayous of rural Louisiana.

ladders by emungere (nc-17, 132k) getting together, (eventual) domestic fluff, s2 AU

Will is slowly losing his mind in the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. He makes a deal with the devil to get out.

[docgold13]

Heroes & Villains The DC Animated Universe - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Villainous Supplemental - Bloodsport, Goldface & The Shark 

Robert Dubois was a vicious mercenary and master combatant proficient in hand to hand fighting as well as with a bevy of advanced weaponry.  Under the alias of ‘Bloodsport’ he became a highly paid assassin and soldier of fortune.  He was recruited by Roulette to be a contestant in her ‘Meta-Brawl,’ an underground fight club where super powered individuals battled one another while onlookers gambled on the outcome.  After this Meta-Brawl was taken down by Green Arrow and Black Canary, Bloodsport accepted membership into Gorilla Grodd’s Legion of Doom.  He subsequently perished when Darkseid destroyed the Legion’s headquarters.  The villain first appeared in the first episode of the second season of Justice League Unlimited, ‘The Cat and The Canary.’   

A chest of gold that had been affected by toxic waste somehow bestowed criminal Keith Kenyon with superhuman powers.  His skin took on a golden hue and he gained greatly enhanced strength and durability.  Furthermore, his touch could paralyze organic beings, temporarily transforming them into golden statues.  Goldface battled against Green Lantern and later accepted membership into Gorilla Grodd’s Legion of Doom.  The villain sided with Grodd when Luthor took over the Legion.  The villain was frozen in ice by Killer Frost in the ensuing battle and then perished when Darkside destroyed the Legion’s headquarters.  Actor Lex Lang provided the voice for Goldface with the villain first appearing in the first episode of the third season of Justice League Unlimited, ‘I Am Legion.’   

Exposure to an experimental radioactivity caused a regular tiger shark to mutant into an anthropomorphic humanoid.  The result was a being that possessed the intellect and capabilities of a human coupled with the ferocity and capabilities of an apex predator.  Now known as The Shark the villain battled Green Lantern and was later recruited into Gorilla Grodd’s Legion of Doom.  Although it appeared as though The Shark left the Legion after it was taken over by Lex Luthor.  The Shark first appeared in the debut episode of the third season of Justice League Unlimited, ‘I Am Legion.’   

[your-divine-ribs]

Ice Cold Part 27

Words: 2.4k

Lyla gets sent on her assignment to London…

Ice Cold Masterlist Main Masterlist

The not knowing was the worst thing. I tried to console myself with the fact that if anything had happened to Van the news would spread like wildfire within seconds. This was the most high profile case the agency had seen since the days of my father and Paul hunting down Tommy Chappell.

Any agent who was successful in bringing Van down would be hailed as a hero and the perks that would accompany that achievement would mean that my colleagues would now be relentlessly combing the city for him night and day. Their competitive natures likely turning a criminal investigation into something resembling a gruesome gameshow with them as the bloodthirsty contestants and Van as the ultimate prize. A cat and mouse game... except Van was no mouse. I had to believe in him. It was all I could do.

I leant my head against the train window, looking out as the scenery rushed past in a blur, trying to clear my mind but it was useless. I sighed and dug in my bag for my phone, bringing up Jen's number and placing a call.

She picked up immediately, launching straight into a detailed account of my predicament which further clouded my mood. "Lyla! Are you okay? Paul says you've been sent on some stake-out down in London. What the hell's all that about? I mean it's great news that they didn't suspend or fire you, but baby-sitting some rookie agent whilst we're all here desperately tracking Van? It seems crazy!"

"Yeah well... I think Whitman just wants me out of the way. Every time I come up against Van he just gets away. He probably thinks I've lost my touch."

"Not likely!" She replied. "You're the only one who's managed to get anywhere near him! Whitman's been down here in Paul's office all morning. I swear that man looks ill, his face was so red with rage this morning it wouldn't have surprised me if he'd had a heart attack on the spot."

"Wouldn't that be a shame!" I muttered, much to Jen's delight.

"Yeah, he's a fucking nightmare. Honestly, he's tearing strips off Paul in there. I can hear him shouting now. It's like he's holding him personally responsible that Van's still out there."

Her comment gave me hope. "So how's the search going anyway? Have you got any leads?"

"You haven't heard?" Jen's voice raised up an octave with excitement, causing my heart to skip a beat.

"What?" I breathed, my throat constricted with fear, choked with dread at what I might hear.

"You know that hit you foiled the night Jason got killed? Well that nightclub owner's body was found this morning at his house. His girlfriend went round and found him hanging from the light fitting. She was hysterical, thought he'd topped himself because of what they found."

"Well? Didn't he? And what did they find?" I was impatient to hear more, wondering if Van was involved.

"He was a fucking paedophile. There were all these photos of kids strewn everywhere. Like really sick, the worst kind. And he definitely didn't kill himself. His hands were tied. I tell you what Lyla, if this is Van's doing I'd personally like to shake his hand for this one."

My mind was reeling, trying to piece together why Van would be remotely bothered about carrying out a hit after he'd cut himself loose from the organisation. I'd have thought that he'd be laying low, keeping his head down, concentrating on staying out of sight and remaining alive.

"I don't get it," I wondered out loud. "Why would Van still be killing for them when he's on the run?"

There was a sound like Jen was letting out an exhale through pursed lips and I could picture her shaking her head, brow creased up in bewilderment. "That's just it. No one knows. Simon told you that this hit was supposed to be an execution for botching that cocaine shipment delivery didn't he? Maybe it's not even Van. It sure felt like him though. Do you know what I mean?"

I hummed in agreement. Having worked many crime scenes in my time as an experienced agent I picked up on these things. Little tells and nuances that wouldn't be noticed by the untrained eye. Even killers had their own style. Jen was still talking but I'd tuned out, theorising in my head, playing and re-playing the line Van had used last night.

"That's how revenge feels Lyla. It does feel good... it feels damn fucking good..."

But revenge... retribution... for what? It didn't make any sense. It all seemed so... disconnected.

"...then the police were called to that multi-storey car park right next to where you live last night..."

"What?" My attention was shifted instantly back to Jen as I caught her mid-sentence. "What was that?"

"Oh nothing important... I was just saying how Paul had me monitoring the police emergency call-outs last night. It was pretty quiet, just some car theft right near your apartment. You probably heard them. Honestly, three police vehicles called out just for someone nicking a car... and then they didn't even catch them... bloody useless..."

I stepped off the train at St Pancras station and let myself be swallowed up by the crowd. With Christmas only weeks away the London streets were busier than ever with people dashing to buy presents for loved ones, smiles on their faces and excited chatter. Seeing other people's lives flowing on whilst my own was in such a state of turmoil seemed almost surreal, the prospect of Christmas and New Year and all the associated pomp and festivities just seemed alien to me.

At least I had my freedom back, for once I wasn't being watched by George or any other agent. I found it quite curious that all of a sudden just because I'd been taken off the case I wasn't deemed to be a target anymore, but of course I didn't argue. The agency weren't to know that with Van always seemingly close by like some dark guardian angel, I was probably the safest agent of them all whilst I was on my home turf. Maybe not in London though.

I was to meet a newly qualified agent from the London team, Alex, at the hotel in Soho that I was staying at so I hopped into a black cab. No one had specifically said it, but it was obvious I was being expected to supervise on the job. Jen had hit the nail on the head when she'd mentioned 'baby-sitting'. I just hoped Alex wasn't going to turn out to be some fresh-faced, naive stickler for the rules. I'd seen so many churned out of the training programme, spouting legislation and excited to get their gun, then they'd go to pieces at their first murder scene. The first few months on the job either made you or broke you, and some just didn't have the guts for it.

I checked into the hotel, making my way to my room, not bothering to unpack my belongings as I delved into my bag for something to wear. I settled on jeans and a shirt. The last thing I wanted to do was wear something slutty and give Alex the wrong impression. I knew damn well that the whole of the London team had heard about mine and Scott's past hook-ups by now, and my experiences with Jason had made me more cautious about how people perceived me. It aggrieved me to even be thinking that way, but it was the unfortunate reality in this fucked up world, especially in the male dominated line of work that I was in.

I surveyed the hotel bar as I entered, and it was empty apart from a couple sat at the far end and a blonde woman perched on a bar stool at the bar. She turned and gave me a smile as I took my place next to her and I caught the bartender's eye, ordering a large, dry white wine.

I could feel the woman's eyes on me as I waited for my drink but I ignored her. I wasn't in the mood for making small-talk with strangers.

"I'll get this," she said as the bartender set my glass down in front of me.

I'd been digging in my bag for my purse but stopped immediately, raising my head, my gaze meeting a pair of large, beguiling green eyes framed by long lashes. Her glossy cherry red lips pulled into a smile with a hint of flirtation. A few months back I would have welcomed the attention, she was certainly gorgeous, but satisfying my sexual desires with a complete stranger was the furthest thing from my mind right then.

I shot her a smile that wasn't quite warm enough to be welcoming. "Actually... I'm meeting someone.... and I don't accept drinks from strangers."

I turned back to the bartender, handing over the cash, hoping the woman would get the message, but to my surprise she swivelled her body around in the stool until she was fully facing me.

"Well... don't be a stranger then," she said, a slight smirk emerging as she held out a perfectly manicured hand towards me.

I didn't have time for this. I took a deep breath, ready to unleash a cutting remark, but before I could do so she spoke again, stunning me.

"I'm Alex, pleased to meet you."

"Oh... I... errr... I thought..." I stumbled over my words.

"You thought I was going to be a man." She finished my sentence for me, snatching the words right out of my mouth.

I couldn't help but smile, nodding slowly. "You know I hate it when people make assumptions, and here I am doing it myself!"

I stretched out my hand to grasp hers, shaking it warmly. Her smile grew, showing pearly white teeth. She really was striking looking.

"It's okay, I get it all the time. I considered going by my birth name, Alexandra, but you know what? I kinda like it when people are surprised. It's like when people ask me what I do for a living now and I tell them, they're shocked. Maybe they think I should be working in a beauty salon or something! I'm sure you must get that too."

I found myself laughing. "Oh yes, the guys are the worst. I think they find it emasculating when they realise I could probably take them down without even raising a sweat! I'm Lyla by the way."

"Oh I know who you are... you're Lyla Keating. Everyone talks about you on the London team. Your reputation precedes you!"

She was smiling amiably as she spoke, but I felt myself bristling nevertheless. All I could think about were my sleazy encounters with Scott, made all the more scandalous now I'd found out that he'd been married at the time. I could imagine what was being said behind my back.

"Don't believe everything you hear," I said, turning away to take a sip of my wine.

"Oh it's all good," Alex said eagerly. "They say you're bad-ass actually!”

I'd just taken a swallow of wine and the laugh that bubbled up inside me burst forth. I practically sprayed a mouthful of wine over the bar. Alex was laughing as I coughed and spluttered, trying to compose myself.

"Bad-ass?" I managed.

"Come on, you're like my hero!" She giggled. "Some of the stories I've heard sound crazy but I know they're true. That time you took down that arms dealer in Berlin single handedly? And those two gun men in Paris? Not to mention fighting off Van fucking McCann... three times! You're a legend!"

Alex leant over and clinked the top of her beer bottle purposefully on my wine glass. I was enjoying this now, realising that I'd not laughed like this for a long time. It felt good.

"Four times..."

"Huh?"

"Four times," I repeated. "Van... I've... errr... fought him off four times."

Alex took a deep pull on her beer, shaking her head, grinning. "See what I mean? Bad-ass..."

Then her smile faltered a little. "I was... errr... sorry to hear about your partner getting killed though. That's rough."

The mention of Jason which would have caused clammy palms and a racing heart before now only caused a brief flicker of emotion to pass through me.

You're getting more like Van every day...

"Oh yeah, that was... hard. He wasn't actually my partner but it was still difficult."

Alex nodded earnestly, leaning into me. "I know all too well. I've only been in the job for a few months but I was partnered with Scott quite a bit before he was killed. He was such a good agent. He taught me so much, and he was a great guy... kind of a douche to women sometimes... but still a solid.... you know? He'd always have my back."

My recollections of Scott certainly weren't based on personality, more the physical side. He'd taken my preferences for the rougher side of sex and opened up my eyes to a whole new world of dark pleasures. I found myself tensing as Alex continued.

"He spoke very highly of you too. I mean I know everybody does, but Scott... you really made an impression on him..."

The corners of her painted lips twitched as if something had amused her. Some conversation that her and Scott had shared about our less than professional relationship no doubt. Christ... did everyone know what the two of us had been up to? So much for his promises of discretion. Still, curiosity got the better of me.

"Care to share?" I said, taking another mouthful of wine.

Alex's grin widened with that same seductive quality I'd glimpsed earlier, and she placed a hand on my thigh. "Oh... he said you were a fantastic shag!"

My wine slipped down too quickly, causing me to cough again. This girl was trouble, that was plain to see. Nevertheless I found myself being drawn in, my frustrations getting the better of me.

I quickly composed myself, fixing her with an even gaze, projecting a sensuality that came easily to me.

"What d'ya say to getting out of here?"

"I'll drink to that," Alex purred, tipping her head back and draining her bottle. "I know just the place."

[itsvaleriesucka]

the day of your luck - chapter one

pairing: criminal!joel miller x fem!reader chapter one summary: after your release from dade-county prison, you've implemented some changes into your life. you finally meet your new "friendly" neighbor.

chapter one warnings: language, indications of argument

word count: 4k

a/n: the reader does speak spanish by the way. i provided an english translation in case anyone needs it. to those reading, i hope you all enjoy! (: feel free to let me know if there are any mistakes or warnings i missed out on.

spanish to english translation: ⋆ "Quieres algo más?" → "Do you want something else?" ⋆ "El cheque, por favor." → "The check, please." ⋆ "Quiero pedir algo para llevar." → "I want to order something to go."

prelude ⋆ chapter two ⋆ series masterlist

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

It was a typical sunny day here in Miami. The blazing heat shimmered the pavement, the grandeur of art deco buildings shined by sun rays. The refreshing scent of sand and sun tan lotion combined fills the air as you skate along the sidewalks of South Beach. The cool wind, a gentle breeze coming off the waters blows through your luscious hair as well as causing the palm trees to sway. 

Your ears were too occupied to listen to the surrounding of people and cars passing by. A perfect mute from the real world. Your Walkman clipped against the side of your hips while your ears filled with Bill Withers’ Lovely Day. 

You held two leashes that wrapped against your wrists, one on your right and the other on your left. They kept up with your quick pace from your favorite pair of quads. And by they— the dogs. 

Dog walking.

A side gig you managed to hustle to make some extra cash for your pocket.

What better way to spend some time outside and see the real life around you. Literally. You tend to stick at home in your own solitude the majority of the time binge watching old films, eating Chinese take out, reading Vogue magazines of the latest fashion trends, and keeping track of your CD collections.

It’s been six months since your release from Dade-County prison and you barely know anybody. You’ve always been a lone gal just wandering around on a day to day basis. You weren’t the type to win a popularity contest either. You would prefer to keep a low profile anyways. 

After what had happened that led you behind bars, you can’t fathom into trusting anyone. You’ve learned from your mistakes and learning from your mistakes will take you far. At least that’s what you remembered your correctional social worker telling you. 

Alright fine. 

You only know certain locals. Around three or four but that’s about it. 

Ever since your release, you've implemented changes in your life that have made you become a better version of yourself. Sure, you still got some kleptomania urgencies but you learned to walk away. If you want it, just save the money and come back for it. If it’s still there, it was meant to be. 

Pushing your left foot backwards, the toe stopper from your skate quads scraps along the pavement, slowing you down until you come to a full complete stop. The dogs got the memo and stood beside you. All you can hear them is pant for breath. 

There was an empty bench nearby a shaded area for you to sit and rest for a moment. You removed your backpack and placed it upon your lap to dig inside for your water bottle. You took a couple of sips before pouring the rest near the dog's muzzles.

They’re both Golden Retrievers. Mike and Basil. Brother and sister who are always side by side with each other. Hence why you’re walking them both together because the owner said they cannot walk alone, they refuse to. 

That’s very cute. You scratched them both behind their ears and boy, did their tail wagged. 

“Are you two hungry?” 

Ears perked up with slight head tilts. 

“Yeah?” You smiled. “Let’s go eat.” 

You began to remove your quads, tying both the shoelaces together into a perfect knot. You reached into your backpack and pulled out your comfortable white chucks and slipped them on. White chucks compliments every single outfit. 

You wore nothing but high-waisted blue denim shorts with cute patches that adorned right on your rear. You managed to find the patches during your thrifting adventures. A white cropped tank with your favorite band displayed. 

There was a group of male runners heading your way. All of them were shirtless. The lotion smeared on them enhances their robust chests. Their muscular definition was a sight to witness. The moment you got yourself up, you began to tie your shoelaces together. Right foot on the bench while the other foot on the ground. Soon switching. 

Your purple plastic hoop earrings swayed against every moment you made. Your skin, sun kissed by the sun itself, radiates with the glow of your sunscreen lotion with a hint of sweat. Each man laid eyes upon you. Upon every exposed skin shown. Upon your thighs down to your legs that goes on forever.

Nothing but flirtatious whistles and sweet nicknames came out from them. Your expression kept stern, you glanced the other way to distract yourself through your Ray-Bans.

Anyone who was anyone could be seen in these iconic pair of sunglasses. You loved them, they were your favorite staple piece you own. 

You weren’t going to lie, those men were fine as hell. But it was a major turn off that they only cat called and whistled out to you. If at least one of them came up to tell you how stunning you are, you maybe would’ve given in and tell him your thanks. 

Maybe.

Like you’ve remembered, trust issues. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 

You sat down in a corner Cuban bakery café. One of your favorite places to go and grab a quick bite. Those homemade croquetas and pastelitos were to die for. If this is something you had to eat for the rest of your life, it’s this. 

When you were first released from prison, the first thing you had asked your correctional social worker to do was take you to this bakery. Just by being here and eating always brings back a lot of memories from your past.

Mike and Basil drank and ate in their complimentary food and water bowl provided by the lovely staff. You always ate inside but since they aren’t allowed, only outside seating is provided. It’s a gorgeous day so you might as well take advantage and enjoy what’s around you. 

While dipping your pastelitos into your coffee, your eyes scanned a couple of advertisements displayed on a newspaper you managed to get on your way over here. Beautiful apartment complexes displayed right before you. You envisioned yourself in a luxury living lifestyle, way up high in those condos, sitting down on your balcony looking out into the seaside view every single morning. 

Your mind began to wander off into a setting you aren’t allowed to even think about. Already thinking of ways to obtain easy money to picture yourself amongst the rich. You glanced away and folded the newspaper, sliding it away, releasing a defeated sigh. 

Stop. You absolutely cannot go back. 

“Quieres algo más?” The kind waitress came by to check up on you. 

“El cheque, por favor.” 

Growing up as a little girl around the Latin culture and community of Miami, you’ve learned to speak, write, and understand Spanish. I mean, if you’re going to live here, you at least have to understand the basics to get by. 

The waitress smiles and picks the empty plates from the table to go get your check. 

An idea came across your mind. You suddenly call out to your waitress and she halts before stepping inside.

“Quiero pedir algo para llevar.” You smiled as did your waitress. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You already dropped off the dogs at the time their owner wanted to be back, earning yourself ten bucks. Not bad. Sundays are typically the slowest day since everybody is out having fun on their day off or staying at home to spend some time with family. 

Starting tomorrow, things should pick up. 

Aside from dog walking, you managed to find a job working for a gentleman who runs the town’s music shop on Lincoln Road. Only Fridays and Saturdays. The pay was surprisingly well. 

The apartment complex you lived in wasn’t bad nor one of a kind. It was a place to sleep, eat, and shower. A place where you’re able to destress and listen to your favorite music playing from a small silver boom box you owned. You’re thankful your correctional social worker helped you find a place to stay. Rent was affordable with what you’re able to make weekly so you can’t really complain. 

You pulled out a set of keys, one key was to open the main gate of your apartment complex. You can see a few of your neighbors out on their balcony. Some were talking, drinking, or smoking. There was a kid playing ball with another kid on the grass. 

Opening the door, you wanted to check your mailbox. You always did on Sunday’s just to see what arrived. The second key was specifically your mailbox door, shared with four others that lived on the same floor as you. 

You grabbed each letter and newspaper and searched through each and every one of them to find your name but to no avail. 

Although there seems to be a new name that appeared. Looks like there’s a new neighbor. You tossed all the letters and slips back inside the tiny slot and locked the door.

This apartment building only has four floors. The elevator on your right still isn’t working since the same signage has been displayed for over a month now. It depends on your mood, you often take the elevator if you’re out grocery shopping or if you were too lazy to take the stairs to the third floor. 

Having the elevator unavailable meant good exercise for you anyways. Your quads hung over your right shoulder, you held them tightly while walking up the steps. You can listen to certain neighbors having a conversation, some in Spanish, some in English. There was a pesky dog on the second floor that always barks whenever he or she seems to hear someone or probably wants to bark just because. 

As you reach the third floor you can hear commotion going on, an argument. You hear a familiar voice. 

It’s your neighbor, Delaney, who so happens to be caught fighting her boyfriend, as always. 

“I didn’t fuckin’ had the dinner ready on time because I was out workin’ all night!” Yep. That’s her alright. Her typical Jersey accent all spiced up. Where she’s from, it’s obvious. She wanted to get away from the cold weather. She was sick and tired of snowy days and having to shovel away ice from her driveway so she moved all the way from New Jersey and landed here in Miami. Nothing but hot and sunny weather all day, everyday. 

She worked late nights at a place called Club Pink Pussycat, Miami’s first and finest strip club that offered nudity since day one. 

“When I get back, that goddamn casserole better be done! I work my ass off all day and I come home and there’s nothing?!” Her boyfriend stormed out through the door and slammed it shut behind him. He slips a cigarette in between his lips to have a smoke. Your eyes met with his. 

“Fuck outta my way.” He grumbled and walked down the stairs past you. He’s lucky to have been gone before you said anything. God. You despised that man. 

Delaney opened the door, she’s covered in nothing but her fancy satin pink robe. Her hair was voluminous and styled. Teased and permed to perfection. Her large golden hoops shined with the rest of her jewelry worn. Red lips stained the tipping paper of her cigarette that’s being held in between her index and middle finger. Her pink press on flicks at her cigarette tip, allowing the ashes to fall onto the ground. 

Her expression softens from the familiarity of your face the moment her eyes laid upon you. 

“Oh, hi sweetie. I’m sorry ‘bout that...” Her voice is soft.

“Why do you let that asshole treat you the way he does?”

It’s true. You always wondered why and there has to be a reason. No man should ever downgrade a woman the way he does, ever. If it were you, he would’ve left a long time ago. In the end, it is not your relationship to get yourself involved like that. 

“Oh ya know…he’s the baby daddy of my little boy. It’s hard sometimes.” Delaney pinches the end of her cigarette in between her plump lips to inhale some smoke. Hands gesturing towards you to come inside before she exhaled. 

“Come in, come! I’ve baked some sugar cookies. I saved some for you since I thought you might want a bite.” 

You stepped inside her place as she shut the door behind you. The layout of her place was the complete opposite of yours. Especially her decor. This woman sure loves the color pink since everything displayed, from her kitchen to her living room, was decorated in pink. She’s like the modern day Barbie. 

“Sorry ‘bout the place bein’ a mess. Had to work one of those late nights. My regular surprised me and it was a whole party in there. You should come and visit sometime!” She rubs the tip of her cigarette against an ashtray. 

“Sure.” You nodded but only because you were being polite. Those places weren’t your forte anyways. There’s absolutely nothing for you to find in there. It’s a place where sugar daddies come and spend their endless cash by just a shake of your ass. Drugs were the main hot spot. It was a safe haven to do anything illegal, really.

Her baby was in his crib playing with toys. He happily squealed the moment he saw you. Oh, he definitely recognized you. You believed that babies can sense your aura within you. At least that’s what your mother has told you.

Walking over to the crib, you leaned over to tickle the side of his neck and he giggled. Your smile was foolishly wide at his playful gesture. Delaney was busy grabbing her cookie jar and noticed you playing with her son. She smiled. 

“He’s such an angel. I love him to pieces!” She waves at her son and made funny faces. He giggles again. 

“He is adorable.” You mentioned and leaned away as you walked over to sit in a chair Delaney pulls for you at the kitchen counter. 

“You want somethin’ to drink? I got water, Cherry Coke, juice, milk, you name it all.”

“A Cherry Coke sounds perfect, please.” 

Milk and cookies are actually the perfect combination. But a Cherry Coke? You can’t refuse an offer like that. You aren’t much of a soda type of gal, but when it comes to Cherry Coke, you simply cannot resist. 

“The casserole is almost done if you wanna take some with you.” Delaney hands you a plate of her homemade sugar cookies and a cold can of Cherry Coke.

“That’s real kind of you. I appreciate it.” The click of the can opening surrounds the place. The moment the metal pops, that’s where the sizzling sounds of the bubbles begin to fizz. You didn’t hesitate to take a drink, tilting your head back. The carbonation from the sweet drink coats and burns your throat. Your eyes watered when taking your last sip. A small gasp escaping from you.

So refreshing. So satisfying. 

“Have you met the new neighbor yet?” Delaney asks. She’s definitely talking about the name you have seen from a letter when you opened the mailbox not too long ago. 

“You know I don’t talk to anyone besides you and the landlord.” You swapped a smile into a smirk, chewing on a cookie. 

It’s crazy how you know so much about Delaney yet, she knows very little about you. I mean, she can practically tell her entire life story to strangers. She just loves engaging in conversations to the nicest folks she’d meet. But you? You’re insanely private. She doesn’t even know you’ve been released from prison. She doesn’t know about your past indulgence of robberies. 

Thankfully, she has her limits. 

“He’s such a handsome fella. Very quiet too. He lives just down at the end of the hallway.”

Such emphasis on the word handsome. That explains much. It’s no wonder you haven’t seen any movement, he’s quiet. You weren’t as phased or excited to learn more about him. You rarely try to meet new people, specifically neighbors. Delaney was the only exception since she’s been the first to actually introduce herself unlike the others.

Ding! “Oh!” Delaney squeals with such excitement. “The casserole is finished. Lemme put that in a paper plate for you before this moron gets here.”  

Delaney. She’s such a handful and honestly, you appreciate how real she can be. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You and Delaney exchanged hugs and farewells. You walked down from her door, stopping right in front of yours, using your third key to open the lock and turning the knob to open and enter your own place. Shutting the door behind you, you tossed your keys into a ceramic bowl that’s on a table next to you. 

You untied your shoelaces and kicked your white chucks off, setting them right besides the door along with your quads. You removed your backpack and tossed it right on the couch as you walked towards your kitchen holding your plastic plate.

As mentioned, the place is the total opposite of Delaney’s. You tend to stick with a chic yet quaint style. Cool tones were your favorite choice of color palettes, especially purple. Any shade of purple draws your attention. 

You placed the casserole and the plastic bag with pastelitos inside your fridge. You wanted to keep it there for later since right now, you needed to take a shower and attend some chores. It’s only half past five so you have plenty of time before the sun disappears completely. 

You entered your room, your safe haven. Everything was just the perfect mix of purple. Just the way you like it.

You have a massive CD collection you adored. Some you have stolen and others were given to you by the owner of the music shop you worked for. Hell, you even purchased some from time to time since he gives you a good discount. It’s a win-win for all.

At the corner of your room, besides your dresser, were dirty clothes piled up in the corner of your room, inside a plastic ivory basket. 

It’s definitely laundry day and you needed everything to be washed and cleaned for the new week tomorrow. 

But first, shower time. It’s what you absolutely need.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Having your comfortable loungewear is possibly the best feeling in the entire world. Your hair was picked up with a vibrant scrunchie. You wore your favorite pair of fuzzy slippers that matched your outfit. 

Locking the door behind you, you carried the basket with one hand while the other hand tucked inside your pocket, holding onto your keys and a couple of quarters.

It’s already nine and the night came out and played. If it wasn’t for your dog walking gig, you would’ve just stayed home all day playing your Atari. Just a typical lazy Sunday for you.

The fourth and final key was the door to open the laundry room that was located on the first floor. You take a peek through the window on the door and to your disadvantage, there was already someone inside. 

Shit. 

He already noticed so you couldn’t turn around and disappear like you wanted to so it’s too late. He paid you no attention as you walked inside. 

You gathered your dirty clothes on top of an empty washer machine. You wished there was music playing or something because the awkward silence between you and the man was mad. At least there’s the sound of his dryer starting. 

Thank god. He’s just beginning to dry his clothes because that means he was leaving. And he did. He left you all alone. 

You usually come around this time to wash and dry your clothes because everybody’s inside their homes all locked up and in bed. Oh, you know the tactics. 

You inserted three quarters into the slot tray of the washer machine to then proceed and dump all of your dirty clothes inside. You poured some of the liquid detergent into another slot where it’s supposed to be poured into.

Once you had everything settled, you closed the lid and pushed the tray to dump the quarters into a metal box. There was a green light, ready to be used. You pushed the button and heard the click of the lid and the water starting to pour. 

It’s going to be around thirty minutes before everything finishes so you can dry. In the meantime, you start heading back to eat Delaney’s casserole. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Boy, you were stuffed with that casserole. You aren’t one to ever eat casserole but you hoped there’s nothing better than the one you just devoured. 

Thirty minutes already passed and it's time for you to head downstairs again to place your damp clothes into the dryer.

As you opened the door to your apartment and shut it right behind you while locking it, you heard footsteps approaching. Your immediate reaction was to turn and look at the source of the sound. You swore if it was Delaney’s boyfriend you were going to have a word with him but no. It wasn’t. 

It was the same man from the laundry room. Your eyes instantly looked away from his stare and towards the laundry basket he held his clean clothes in. 

Your eyes bounced back and he was still staring at you. Why does he look good in this lighting? It’s just the hallway lights illuminating the passageway. That well put stoic expression deemed his appearance unapproachable. 

That unkempt tousled salt and pepper hair definitely gives away his age group. Along with white patches that run down his jawline. You’re probably guessing early fifties. Definitely old enough to be your uncle. 

Those denim jeans compliments his physique along with his baby blue polo t-shirt neatly tucked inside all pressed against his chest, holding everything together with a black belt. 

You perhaps needed to check your vitals because there’s no way you’re now just thinking about all sorts of compliments to this complete random stranger you’ve never—

Wait a minute. It clicks inside of you. 

It’s him. 

Your new neighbor. 

Standing in front of your door, being a quiet weirdo, isn’t going to make him disappear. You slip your keys inside your pocket with your empty laundry basket in the other hand. You stared down to the ground as you walked. Nothing but sounds of footsteps, keys, and quarters jangle altogether.

Stop. 

Be confident. 

Your eyes adverts from the ground as you look forward, paying no attention to the stranger. Another thought came rushing in your mind. You softly inhaled and exhaled at the idea. 

You can’t always hide and be a grouch all the time. Quoting on what your correctional social worker had explained to you, the past doesn’t define who you are. We are all bound to make mistakes and those mistakes can lead us to the right path. 

The moment you passed your new neighbor, you decided to open your mouth.

“Have a goodnight!” You smiled at the stranger.

Biggest fucking mistake you could have possibly made. Your smile flipped itself completely upside, transforming into a frown from the way he ignored you.

His brows furrowed as he took one last look at you and your silly little gesture without saying anything in return. His eyes scan your figure completely unamused. He walked towards the end of the hallway to the door on his left and disappeared. 

The moment he disappeared you can hear him slam his door shut. You turned around with brows still trying to pierce together. Oh you were livid. You were livid because you were trying to actually be kind when someone just decides to ignore your entire existence. 

You were ashamed of yourself because you’ve always been quiet and for once you decided to open your pretty mouth to actually say something nice. 

“Fuck you too then.” You scoffed and looked away, still shocked trying to process exactly what happened. You knew damn well he heard you. If he dared return to the laundry room, you’re more than happy to slam your empty basket right across his stupid face. 

What was his stupid name on that letter again? 

Joel Miller.

A name that was going to stick with you for the remainder of your night.

[immigration-news]

A third high profile spate of lawyers have left the administration, this time from the DOJ.

The first departures were over the explicit quid pro quo of Eric Adams’ prosecution. Mayor Eric Adams was being prosecuted for extreme corruption and was potentially going to be recalled by governor Hochul. The newly sworn in Trump administration demanded that the southern federal district attorneys of New York drop charges with the option to refile them later in order to “help the trump administration with its immigration enforcement priorities.” They contested none of the facts of the case and only said that his pending charges would make it harder for him to help trump and therefore they wanted to remove them but continue to hold them over his head. 6 prosecutors working the case resign rather than allow the corrupt deal to go forward.

The second departure was from the Criminal division of the US attorney’s office in DC. The Trump Admin was trying to claw back grants disbursed lawfully by the EPA and tried to have the head of the division write a letter to the bank requesting that the assets be frozen. When the bank said they could not do so, the head of the criminal division was ordered to say that she was investigating a crime with the FBI and that the accounts should be frozen immediately. The only crime being committed was by the trump admin and the prosecutor resigned.

The third Attorney to publicly resign is from inside the department of justice, and was a prosecutor in jan.6 cases who has been repeatedly targeted both by his bosses inside the department and has been receiving daily death threats from anonymous jan.6 defendants and supporters. While it is less flashy than either prior example, His resignation letter states that “the interim US attorney for DC repeatedly referred to his office and himself as ‘the president’s lawyers.’ And that we are not.”

Lawyers are not usually sympathetic characters in stories. But we should remember that the point of lawyers in a lot of cases is to find non-violent ways to resolve disputes. When Trump calls himself “the chief law enforcement agent in our country” and then rails against his enemies, having lawyers in place to defend freedom of speech and protest for as long as they can matters, and when this many lawyers are running from a dictator and being replaced by sycophants who live or die by trumps political career you should be worried about the kinds of laws trump will break next.

[twittercomfrnklin2001-blog]

Woman of the Hour

The very smart actress Anna Kendrick has done a very smart job directing Ian McDonald’s well-written script for WOMAN OF THE HOUR (2024, Netflix). She’s also been quite generous in keeping her part, though the female lead, only one aspect of the career of serial killer Rodney Alcala (Daniel Zovatto) rather than turning the project into a star turn. In fact, you probably need to drop any assumptions you have about stardom to appreciate the film fully. It would be a mistake to expect her presence to be a key part of the story in narrative terms rather than part of the tapestry in its depiction of misogyny.

The film starts with one of Alcala’s murders before taking up the career of actress Sheryl Bradshaw (Kendrick). Scenes of her problems booking a job alternate with Alcala’s criminal career at various times (pay attention to the dates superimposed whenever a new chapter starts). Kendrick and Zovatto’s paths cross when her agent convinces her to appear on THE DATING GAME for the exposure, and he turns up as the most charming of the three contestants.

The misogyny of Alcala’s murders is played against the issues hampering Kendrick’s career. At the start two men for whom she auditions critique her body in front of her (most of the bad audition stories were drawn from her own experiences). Although the details of the murders stick fairly closely to the facts of the case, the DATING GAME scene is highly fictionalized to underline the film’s themes. This provides a particular showcase for Kendrick as she tries to play dumb and then rebels against the vapid questions she’s been handed, instead quizzing the contestants on their reactions to quotes from Einstein and Kant. And the show’s host has been given a fictional name to prevent any confusion between actual host Jim Lange and Tony Hale’s very funny portrait of a more egotistical, chauvinistic figure. To counterbalance the misogyny in the story, Kendrick is given surprising moments of connection with the show’s makeup and hair women (Denalda Williams and Karen Holness) and even one of the more chauvinistic contestants (Jedidiah Goodacre).

Kendrick’s direction astutely maneuvers between the horror of the murder scenes, the comic interlude of the game show and a taut suspense sequence after she mistakenly goes out for a drink with Alcala. The framing of their bar scene is especially fine. Before we’re even aware of her reaction to him, Kendrick eschews standard two shots in favor of over-the-shoulder shots and profile shots that place only one of the actors on the screen and toward the side, emphasizing the space between the two characters. She also showcases Nicolette Robinson as a woman who lost a friend to Alcala’s murder spree and the three main on-screen victims — played by Kelly Jakle, Kathryn Gallagher and Autumn Best — so that the humanity of their characters is never lost. By the time the film focuses on Best, who’s positively luminous as a resourceful runaway, you’re aching for her to get away.

[thailandlawyerss]

Child Adoption in Thailand

1.1 Primary Legislation

Adoption Act B.E. 2522 (1979): Core legal framework

Child Protection Act B.E. 2546 (2003): Safeguards for adopted children

International Private Law Act B.E. 2541 (1998): Cross-border adoptions

1.2 Regulatory Bodies

Department of Children and Youth (DCY): Central oversight

Child Adoption Center of Thailand: Primary processing agency

Juvenile and Family Courts: Legal approval authority

Ministry of Social Development and Human Security: Policy formulation

2. Eligibility Criteria for Prospective Parents

2.1 Basic Qualifications

Age Requirements:

Minimum 25 years old

At least 15 years older than child

Maximum 45-year age gap (exceptions possible)

Marital Status:

Married couples (heterosexual only)

Single applicants (gender-specific restrictions apply)

Financial Capacity:

Minimum THB 150,000/month income

Stable employment history (3+ years)

2.2 Health and Background Checks

Medical Examination:

Complete physical including HIV test

Psychological evaluation

Criminal Clearance:

Thai police records

Home country Interpol check

Child abuse registry verification

3. Adoption Categories and Processes

3.2 International Adoption Protocol

Hague Convention Compliance:

Thailand is not signatory but follows principles

Requires home study by accredited agency

Document Legalization:

Notarization

Ministry of Foreign Affairs authentication

Thai embassy legalization

4. Child Eligibility and Matching

4.1 Adoptable Children Profile

Age Distribution:

70% under 5 years

25% 6-12 years

5% teenagers

Special Needs Considerations:

Medical conditions (30% of cases)

Sibling groups (15%)

4.2 Matching Criteria

Cultural Compatibility: Religion, language

Family Environment: Urban/rural preferences

Child's Background: Trauma history assessment

5. Legal Procedures and Timelines

5.1 Pre-Adoption Process

Application Submission (DCY Form 1)

Home Study (3-6 months)

5+ visits by social worker

Family environment assessment

Approval Committee Review (2-3 months)

5.2 Court Procedures

Filing Petition: Juvenile Court jurisdiction

Hearings:

Initial review (30 days post-filing)

Child interview (closed session)

Final ruling (typically 60-90 days)

Post-Adoption Reports:

Quarterly for first year

Biannually until child is 18

6. Post-Adoption Legal Framework

6.1 Parental Rights and Obligations

Full Legal Parentage: Birth certificate amendment

Inheritance Rights: Equal to biological children

Revocation Conditions: Extreme neglect/abuse

6.2 Citizenship Issues

Thai Children:

Retain citizenship if adopted internationally

Dual citizenship permitted

Foreign Adopters:

No automatic Thai citizenship for child

Visa sponsorship requirements

7. Special Case Adoptions

7.1 Special Needs Children

Expedited Process: 6-9 months

Additional Support:

Medical subsidy (THB 50,000/year)

Therapy access

7.2 Older Child Adoption

Consent Requirement: Child's agreement (age 12+)

Transition Programs: 3-month integration period

8. Emerging Trends and Challenges

89.1 Digital Transformation

e-Adoption Portal: Pilot phase for document submission

Blockchain Verification: For international documents

8.2 Policy Developments

Proposed Amendments:

Single male adopter restrictions

Extended post-adoption monitoring

COVID-19 Impact:

40% reduction in international adoptions

Virtual home study trials

9. Strategic Considerations

9.1 Document Preparation

Timeline Optimization:

Medical exams (6-month validity)

Police clearance (3-month validity)

Translation Requirements:

Certified Thai translations

MFA authentication

9.2 Legal Representation

Court Procedures:

Required for international cases

Recommended for contested adoptions

Appeal Process:

30-day window

Supreme Court jurisdiction

[yetisidelblog]

This week, the U.S. Senate is expected to vote on an anti-immigrant bill that right-wingers hope is the first piece of legislation that they send to Donald Trump to sign when he’s sworn in on January 20th.

The bill, known as the “Laken Riley Act” requires the mandatory arrest and detention―without access to bail―of any undocumented person convicted of or merely arrested for burglary, theft, larceny, or shoplifting-related offenses. There is no statute of limitations and no mechanism for the individual to contest their immigration detention in order to resolve the underlying criminal charges against them (if charges are even brought).

It undermines constitutional protections and disrupts the balance of power between states and the federal government, giving anti-immigrant state attorneys general the ability to unleash chaos on the immigration system. This bill could motivate anti-immigrant jurisdictions to detain immigrants on completely baseless charges, which could result in these individuals lacking the ability to defend themselves or obtain bail.

While we are hopeful for amendments, such as protections for Dreamers, that may make this bill less damaging, the underlying legislation perpetuates systemic inequities and disproportionately harms Black and brown communities through racial profiling.

Click here to send a message to your U.S. Senators to oppose this dangerous anti-immigrant legislation.

Anti-immigrant Members of Congress have long sought to dehumanize and stigmatize immigrants by conflating immigration with decreased public safety. There is no correlation between citizenship or immigration status and crime. In fact, evidence shows that immigrants make our communities stronger by invigorating local economies and fortifying urban development and cultural growth.1

This bill represents a dangerous and cynical use of legislative power, scapegoating immigrants while doing nothing to enhance public safety.  

Send a message to your U.S. Senators today, urging them to protect, not attack, our immigrant communities.

We urge Members of Congress not to succumb to a political ploy that manipulates a tragic act to demonize and criminalize an entire group of people.

@upontheshelfreviews

@greenwingspino

@one-time-i-dreamt

@tenaflyviper

@akron-squirrel

@ifihadaworldofmyown

@justice-for-jacob-marley

@voicetalentbrendan

@thebigdeepcheatsy

@what-is-my-aesthetic

@ravenlynclemens

@writerofweird

@bogleech

@anon-lephant

[littleeyesofpallas]

I always really liked, in Death Note, that when they introduces M and N as L's two competing protégée, they just took a list of L's traits and quirks and split them down the middle: L was both logical and intuitive, passionate about justice and personally enraptured by solving puzzles, sat like a child, played with his food, and had an insatiable sweet tooth? Mellow gets the passion, the justice bordering on vengeance, the intuition, and the sweet tooth. Near gets the childlike demeanor, the play habits, the cold logic, and personal investment in puzzles for puzzles sake. And together they make one functional L.

I want that for the Batfam. Bruce has his giant obnoxious hyper competent repertoire, but instead of every Batkid being just a mini version of Bruce, give them each a SUPER distinct specialty. Something actually discernably different from their peers, rather than just slapping the same onesize fit all batbrand competency on all of them. The martial arts expert, the ace parkour/acrobat, the detective, the gadgeteer, the batcomputer data analyst, the criminal profiler, the vigilante, the master of disguise, the urban legend, the avenger, the ninja/assassin, etc... Obviously theyre each well rounded and versed in all these archetypes, but each one ought to have a specialized category where if it ever really came down to its, they could beat Bruce in a contest of that one set of skills. (Except Damian. Damian should just be a tiny Bruce with maybe a bit of an ethics problem, and the promise of being better than Bruce at EVERYTHING, just given a bit of time to grow into it while Bruce loses a bit of edge to old age)

(and frankly i really just want this for a bunch of hero families -the WWfam could have different fields of specialty from diplomacy to archeology and magic artifacts, to mythological beast tamer, to proper soldier and commander, etc...; the Flashfam could have radically different approaches to what elements of how they approach processing at superhuman speed and their atomic level of finite control; the Arrowfam could have a whole spread of survivalist vs hunter/tracker vs sport archer vs esoteric historical martial arts, etc skills to set one another apart.- but that's several whole other cans of worms...)

Dick is far and apart the best in the air, fastest maneuvering both around obstacles and on the run, in and out of the fray, sheer 0 to 60 from ground to air on a grappling line, fastest all around reaction time, and contender for most well honed raw athleticism right next to Cass.

Babs has the information network, the batcomputer sciences, and organizational and tactical perspective that comes uniquely from not just being a bat kid but from being so closely acquainted with GCPD's structures and systems. When it comes to cross referencing and pinpointing precise information, Babs is unmatched by a substantial margin.

Jason has the I Am Vengeance, I Am The Night down. The raw passion for crime fighting, and indeed the fixation on crime specifically. He and Steph are the most personally acquainted and invested in Gotham's underworld and the actual humans working, living, struggling and thriving in it.

Ill be honest I m actually never quite sure where the hell either Helena fits into this structure... Bertinelli feels like she should fit a niche almost too similar to Jason's, but lacking in the fanfavorite melodrama of being a dead robin. And Wayne ought rightly to fit a role not dissimilar to Damian or just Bruce himself... Consider this one unresolved...

Tim is of course is everyones favorite ace boy detective. I feel like theres always a temptation to make him Babs' equal in the tech department but outside of the laughable 90s hackerkid aesthetic I just dont see it. He's great at trivia and detective's intuition, and of course his near shamanic level of insight into Gotham itself.... He does strike me as one of the family's top gadgeteers; not a full blown engineer like Luke, but quick to pick up and make unconventional use of existing tech and hardware, matched and even surpassed in that respect only by...

Steph, who as Cluemaster's kid and one time potential protégée has had a thorough talent for tinkering and sabotage from and early age. Maybe she cant tap into the same depth of trivia or strictest logical deductions that some of the more thorough bred bats can, but no one can pinpoint the most vital areas, or dismantle a deathtrap more quickly than Steph, both by way of knowing the mechanics, but also by way of intimating a super villain's psychology and behavior. Where someone like Tim or even Bruce might fixate on knowing the exact layout or schematics or logistics of a hideout, a machine, or a plan before taking action to dismantle it, Steph knows at a glance where the most volatile parts of a machine or a plan are so that even if she doesn't have the time or the specific knowledge to work out every detail of what it does and how, she can figure out how to break a mechanism or topple a plan at its most central pillar(s) of support. I've always wanted her to be essentially the family's espionage expert, right next to Catwoman's breaking and entering expertise.(Ric Grayson eat your dman heartout)

Then there's Cass, and obviously, at her peak she's the family's (and frankly the world's) top martial artist. But even with her first language of combat fluency stripped down/away she's more than a match for anyone else in the family.

Luke kind of predictably taking his dads role as engineer, utilizing the full extent of the high end bat arsenal unlike really anyone else. People joke about comparing batman and Ironman but really if anyone should have a shtick comparable to Ironman it's Batwing. The rest of the bat fam can operate and maybe maintain the vehicles and hardware fine, but no one can design, upgrade, and see through the actual fabrication process of the tech better than Luke...

...Runner up in this same category is Harper, who is lacking in the straight up manufacturing department but built her whole vigilante arsenal by juryrigging salvaged battech.

Ill be honest, a bit like Huntress, I dont fully known what to make of Kate. Her background is unique among the batfamily as having been strictly military. She has a penchant for the noirsy side of the detective shtick, but thats more of a genre thing than a skill set; what does it really mean for her shtick inworld? I dont really have an answer...

Duke is a bit of a weird case in that the obvious answers are all baked right into his existing profile: he's the meta, he works in the light, he's supposedly more above board and less broody. And that all feels fine, but it also feels like he doesn't actually fit into the whole schema of batskills at all as a result. I would like to see him use his experience with We Are Robin to create a kind of PR or outreach branch of the bat fam. Like, a bat that Gotham can actually sort of get to know and learn to trust, beyond believing in a boogeyman or not. Like, i dunno, give him some airtime with Vicky Vale or Jack Ryder...

And I already mention Damian is just small Bruce waiting to grow into his dad's shoes. The whole benefit of being ras' heir is that he's the one kid who doesnt need Batman to train him. He can fight and think and ostensibly even gadget without Bruce, what Bruce gives him is what Ras and Talia cant: A moral compass. Plus it's a fun change of pace for Bruce to have a protégé where he isn't filling the time with teaching combat and shit to, so that he really has no choice but to learn to connect with Damian emotionally, for both Damian's sake and his own.

I'm not touching Gotham Girl with a 20ft pole...

Did I forget anyone??

People like Owlman, and Ghostmaker are all just the same shtick... Bruce's same character build stats but without the ethics. The Talons are cool but skillswise still just sort of amount to Nightwing knockoffs, ala the whole Owlman origins of the Court of Owls plot in the first place. Similarly the Batman Inc crew are just discount batmen; same basic skill tree but lower point values, so to speak. Not really worth investigating. (unrelated but has Catman fought Green Arrow before? I feel like they could have a really cool survivalist rivalry thing going on)

Not counting people like Clown hunter, or Harley, or Scarlet, or Raptor as parts of the family...

OH! Jace! Boy what a weird case. I wish we got more of an actual motive from him. It honestly doesn't feel like he has a particularly good reason to even be a vigilante, least of all a direct successor to Batman of all things. And I wish they hadn't just shipped him off to NYC... Other than that his shtick feels super weird in the scope of the general bat repertoire. Like Kate, it's weird that his background is really just (para)military rather than the more eclectic spread that Bruce has made the standard bat regimen.

[roppongi-division]

Mireya's Thoughts on Katsushika Division

Akihisa Mashiro

"Like my husband mentioned, he and I both left America way before World War III. I do want to go back someday... just for a vacation. But anyway, when I heard the former president had been assassinated I was shocked. It wasn't until later we found out that this man was responsible. ...I don't know why I'm pretending to care, though. I mean, I'm no longer a U.S. citizen. Though I was born there, I am affiliated with Japan. So anything concerning the U.S. no longer has anything to do with me."

Touya Kisaragi

"I still find it hard to believe that a man such as this is the most notorious serial killer in Japanese history. He's the same age as Zakari, for Dios's sake! And he's already murdered close to 100 people? ...I know I can't be too harsh on him, despite the amount of blood on his hands. I mean, the blame for this falls squarely upon his mother's shoulders and how she raised him. ...I know there's no manual on how to properly raise a child, but I swear, what is wrong with all of the parents in this world?"

"Despite that, I can't exactly say I'm sad to see him behind bars, especially knowing what he could have done to me or my family. I don't even feel comfortable knowing Zakari is in the same school as him, even if it's mainly online. I only hope and pray no harm falls upon him or anyone else."

Rintaro Himura

"This young man is perhaps the most reprehensible member of this team, and the one that I would not shed any tears at all for if his death day comes sooner rather than later. I'm sure my husband told you that this firestarter nearly burnt down the entire neighboring city of Aoyama. The flames were so large that they almost made its way here to Roppongi! Its only thanks be to Dios that no real damage was done. ...But still, when I think of what might have happened if those flames had made their way here and burnt down, not only my club, but our home with my husband and child inside..."

"...I'll say this now: if this heathen knows what is good for him, he will not set foot in Minato again. The moment he does, me and the rest of the Minato ward are going to teach him a lesson he won't forget. And that, I promise."

Death Row Block

"I know my husband has to work with a number of unscrupulous individuals due to his job as a music producer. But I feel that he should draw the line at criminals. Especially, if said criminals, are as high-profile as these three that they had to have been put on death row. Though he has assured me that he'll be fine, I still don't like it. Thank Dios he only has to deal with people like these men only a couple times a year."

"Besides that, I don't know what the Prime Minister could possibly be thinking by having three criminals participate in a rap contest. ...But then again, I couldn't care less what goes on inside her mind. I just want her to understand one thing: if any harm comes to either my city or my family because of these three, I'm holding you fully responsible."