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queer-froggit · 6 months ago

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i'm ending it here because i'm boutta be here all day lol

ramble under the cut!!!!

lust's friend group is very tiny because everyone judges him for his job, but they're also all sanses so they're like "eh, not my problem" and really just ignore him, and even besides them lust has to work to get people to respect him. horror and lust are frenemies because they HATED each other at first sight- horror was very vocal about his prejudices and lust doesn't take shit from anybody. however, they're both old men just trying to get through their hell of a day without killing themselves, and they find common ground in that (same thing with lust and cross, except for them it's more lust teaching cross how to take himself seriously and turning into rivals instead) in my interpretation, lust dated a lot of people before realizing he was aro, with blue being his longest relationship. a lot of shit happened, but they're besties now.

horror and wine are frenemies because lthough they relate to ecah other, they do it in a "i pity you way", which pisses them both off. horror could never work for the royal guard, and i like to think horror takes his brother to move in with farm after leaving nightmare. it's basically saejun teaching him how to be a person again, and i think geno and farm would also make nice friends, since "old men who have finally learned to be content with what they have" trope. speaking of geno, i think he HATES reaper, like hate hate. i still haven't read aftertale, my only sources are analysis and pages out of order, but it just feels right to say? reaper likes pissing people off, so he sees geno as a pal because of this hate.

reaper and wine are dreams mentors, since reaper was supposed to have an appearance in dreamtale. reaper is more of a "using to learn your god powers" mentor while wine is "using your societal power", but they basically teach him that not everyone is going to want to be buddy buddy, and that's not something he should see as a failure (since they both have gone through the horrors). wine sees black as a more upbeat version of himself, but nox is always trying to be an opp, so he sees to reason to be friends. also they all hate fell because they think he's lazy and all bark yet no bite lol.

dust and fell are obviously friends in canon, but i feel like they especially relate because of their feeling of being trapped in hell and having to be guarded all the time (they're SO 30 for 30 by sza coded it's ridiculous), and if not romantic, i think that feeling can get familial. horror sees fell as a fake though, because he thinks underfell is just "undertale but they say fuck", so he thinks fell is all talk while he knows he wouldn't survive a DAY in horrortale (no one would), but dust and horror are friends, so horror forces himself to tolerate fell and give him advice about surviving (but more in a condescing tone).

sci and fell are a secret third thing because i could see them being siblings, rival friends or romantic (curse you cpau) so idk. same thinf with wine and cross because they're both royal guards who have gone through dictatorships, so they should relate to each other, but tehy're both bitches so they would probably be enemies, but them sparring would be so perfect???? maybe like a "my mentor is a bitch but it's to train me to do better", which works perfectly because cross is always trying to get people to see him as a superior, and wine always feels superior (but it's to do the same thing as cross), so wine talking down to him riles him up enough to try and beat him, and they can both let their stress out when they spar :) (they eventually realize that they've been living in a dictatorship where rheir leader has been incredibly selfish, don't worry)

swap and blueberror... idk how to explain it. i think they're very jinx and ekko coded. blueberror is the more hyper and blunt version of swap, and swap has to calm him down sometimes, but they would be besties because they bounce off of each other 👍

nightmare and ink are colleagues beacuse i said so :) ink is nightmare's equivalent of people watching video essays as background noise. also nightmare wanted to study fresh because he sees him as an anomaly (someone whose emotions he can't read, yet feels uneasy around him, depsite not knowing who he is), but then learned like one thing about him and decided not to open that can of worms. fresh just thinks nightmare is weird.

i think that's it... thank you for the chart sign!

I FORGOT TO ADD THAT HORROR AND SWAP ARE IN A QPR AND CROSS AND DREAM ARE BESTIES! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW THIS (also blue and cross are frenemie)

Ship chart but it’s not a ship chart it’s a friendship/found family/QPR chart

#utmv #character chart #the lines are shitty cause i did it on my phone lol

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eorumverba · 8 years ago

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pls read the tags for blog updates

#starting the 21st m gonna be posting all of my wips #one pairing a day mhm..#some of them ill finish others not i jus wanna..get everyhting Out here so ull have smth to read if u want to #a lot;; of them will have jong in the center bc..im a hardcore jong stan #n i always will be #but just..ill put summaries n warnings n everything under ecah fic #just in case ;; i wish it wasnt like this #im rambling n i need to sleep but im so numb n i Know once i aly down n turn out the lights #itll all come hitting me at once n i wont have anythng to dsitract ymself with #so im rambling #my kakao is asteldt n snap is th same (but with two ts) if anyone wants to talk somehwere other than here #jus dm me on here sayig u added so ik to ad bc #add back #i jus..rly dont wanna go t osleep #or burden someone else by making them stay up wiht me #but i need to sleep;;#ok all of these tags will be dleeeted later when m not sad bls dont worry about me or antygi #m not gonna Do anytihg m jus numb #not writing

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away-ward · 2 years ago

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Hey, just some interesting thoughts about how isolating it must be to emmy when everyone met the "sunshine" will, but she didnt, at least, not always. And i think now i have another pov as to why the train scene with michael kai will and alex kinda hurts (?) and weird to me, idk. Just some rambles :) rather than putting blame on others, im looking at these events in a more introspective lens for discussion.

"Because he’s the one pure, beautiful thing untainted by ugliness,” he repeated his same words from the shower. “And we love him for it.”

I think it's interesting how this quote by damon shows how unreliable of a narrator he was (pd mentioned this interesting characterisation of damon before) or at least, for a lack of a better term; how different emmy was treated by will compared to how will treated others, including his friends and family members. Even in kill switch i remember damon saying "that bitch who treated him like trash" then we saw him in nightfall where yes, damon did put will and emmy down at the bonfire and the school shower, (like what he similarly did to michaelrika and kaibanks but in different ways), but it wasnt THAT severe yk. Because after that natalya body burial, i feel like that damonwill scene was like an offer or a sign from damon that he might have slowly trusted emmy into the group, but emmy wasnt ready to trust these guys then (understandably so) so she left. Then we also saw that the "trash way" she treated will wasnt always UNDESERVED because will himself WAS always pushing her boundaries all the time, and admitted to being selfish, arrogant, and mostly only caring about what he wants and not what she needed in the past. It's interesting how damon also said he wasnt gonna let his person (winter) destroy him (at that cove scene), like how "emory scott" destroyed will as if; 1. Damon did not actively contributed to winter's hell life, 2. Put down his own best friend's confidence too from time to time to keep him by his side, 3. Will and emory didnt mutually parted, and the pain was just one-sided. It's also interesting that will, who knew the full story of their parting, was a bit mad at damon for talking about emmy like that, and this shows how will was very much aware of what was going on and was able to distinguish what was true, false, right or wrong about the whole situation and his own actions but no one except emmy in the series ever kept him accountable for his words and actions. As a friend, will appreciated damon, but not to the expense of emmy's honour yk.

We were also always "told" (and not always shown) in the previous books that will was like a sunshine, always helpful to others, is the less dick-ish horsemen etc. and he was so loved by everyone everywhere because he was "so nice" except in hideaway with banks at the start lmao, but in nightfall, we saw that even before he was in prison, he was not always a "nice guy" like he was painted by everyone, especially not to 1. Emmy (his love interest), 2. Martin (lmao deserved, that fucker deserves to die), 3. Emmy's bullies. He even likes it when he tested emmy's boundaries and when she fought him back everytime. He just loves trouble. And HIs not-nice treatment are also on different levels for ecah person, like his not-nice to martin or emmy's bullies are not the same kind of not-nice that he was to emmy so it made it's hard to compartmentalize his character when he was this complex sometimes.

Contrary to damon, we were always told AND shown that he was shit, so everyone saw and expects him to be shit, but not with will. So thats why i feel like even if emmy talk about the will she knew, they wouldnt really believe her because no one really saw THAT will before, not even alex. So the image that they have of will were a bit clouded and biased. Thats why i feel bad for emmy in the train, because it means that there will be times when she might feel isolated or alone for being in this weird situation where theres "emmy's pov", and then "theres everyone else's" of will. It's also like how emmy's view of damon was so different than the rest of the group and how in the train, she used damon (and even aydin) as an example to how you cant always give up on everyone who disappointed you, without even knowing how much damon had in fact, hurt them all, -just because damon was the least shit to emmy, and she never knew met THAT damon before you know. Damon and emmy's relationship dynamic was eant to be different from the start and I bet the rest of the horsemen and their wives would be surprised af if they saw damon through emmy's eyes. However, unlike the horsemen and alex, instead of speaking over others' pain caused by damon, emmy never invalidated their pain about it or insert herself in their business, unlike them to her when it comes to will, yk, and this was what made me wrote this ask. The same goes to how just because will was a friend to them or alex, doesnt mean that he was ever a friend to emmy, so why would emmy knew how it felt like to be supported by him when he had only verbally offered, but in action, he was never there for her, like he was for them all?

Back to the quote above, the reason why damon saw will that way was not only because there was a big truth to it due to his trauma and the way will's sunny personality impacted him, but also because will was never damon's boyfriend, and he never had any romantic feelings towards damon so will never treated anyone in the series like how he treated emmy. This is very interesting to me because in the earlier chapters, be it the present or the past chaps, we saw emory kinda agreeing with damon on this quote at first, but as the story moves along, we saw how she started to disagree bit by bit, that will might not always be the "good" in her life, sometimes will kinda showed unnecessary controlling behaviour and aggression towards emmy and she picked it up as a sign of "bad danger", because of her relationship with her brother, whom she depended on almost everything at that time. And will didnt just show it once or twice, he showed it multiple times, in the class, in the pool, after basketball game etc. and in high school, it was usually unprovoked too but in blackchurch, it was a bit different because he was hurt due to her "betrayal" lmao. As much as i wanna support will, he wasnt always a reliable character to rely on, especially not at 17, so i believe, even when she told him about what was going on, there was a very high chance that they still wouldnt be able solve her problem in the most efficient way yk. Will was an alcoholic and was very clueless about his life path, and emmy was in need of a lot of space and healing, theres a possibility that even if emmy came back, there was no guarantee that wpthey will make it then. They were just so different in everything. Talking about this topic is a bit complicated because its easier to make it black and white but theres a very obvious lack of sensitivity, nuance and intersectionality when it comes to discussing heavy matters like this among dn readers, but i hope it made sense to you smh.

Anyway, i liked that emmy clarified and admitted in her mind about will's potentially hurtful and unreliable behaviour. It's an acknowledgement that yes, finally, she admits that will wasnt just a passenger in that relationship, and he had contributed to destroying her just as much as she to him, unlike how damonks earlier pov or everyone's povs and how they saw their relationship as an outsider. And then later on she told will that at times, even when he might not intentionally tried to hurt or abuse her, she found his actions and words suffocating and scary because the pattern of abuse that she was very familiar of, was there, she just wasnt able to figure out if will wasnt gonna be like her brother. How on earth was she supposed to figure all that at 16? Emmy too kept on being dragged into will's world again and again, and she was just "so tired of bleeding", but no one really understood how tired she was (cant really blame them too, emmy never wanted anyone to know about her pain either). Like sure, Will didnt hurt emmy like michael to rika or damon to winter, but he still did hurt her in a way yk, but no one acknowledged that or was able to because, 1. no one knew anything about willemmy as an insider, and 2. no one expected will to hurt her. Emmy was right when she said she shouldve shouted at will or martin about how much they were hurting her too (in different ways and degrees, but still hurts her anyway) and how she never found her own voice because these two were like dictators who kept on demanding so much from her, when she couldnt even give that much of choise to herself first.

Ngl, during that "how your world might be just as bad as mine" scene, i teared up so much because just like emmy, i felt like i was being gaslighted about my anger and hurtful feelings and emotions towards will from the start until that moment. I felt like emmy and my anger was unjustified, but no, she actually echoed my thoughts about this whole icky situation i was actually right because will did hurt emmy, but no one else saw it, not even will ever admitted how his actions coukdve hurt her, because 1. they were outsiders, 2. no one expected it to come from someone like will, AND 3. Emmy never really spoke up about it before. Istg, They really need to learn how to communicate their feelings and thoughts better. And when will in his mind, regretted his actions and then sobbed, ngl, i teared up too because there was so much regret and pain in his words when he apologised to her. It finally felt like emmy was given a closure, even though it was still a but of a sloppy closure for me, because why did we get that willalex underground tunnel scene more than a much needed scene of willemmy's reconcilation? Anyway, I was so happy when emmy decided to trsut will and not give up on him even when he was disappointed in himself, and her i herself, becaus enow its them against the world!!! and we saw how later on, that he saw how amazing he can be in his life, now that he has her by his side forever. What do you think?

Hey, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m happy to keep this blog open for discussions, opinions, hot takes, questions or whatever. I promise I won’t always write essay long responses :D

Anon, this is all an excellent perspective. I think part of the charm of discussions is that, if we can keep it respectful, we’ll get a lot of different ideas and opinions that we might not have thought of before.

And I have to say to everyone who has sent in a message: Thank you for not getting feisty with each other! Everyone’s been really, really sweet and I appreciate it.

Going into your message, I love that quote from Damon. I always thought it revealed a lot of why Damon cherishes Will so much. To me, Will was nice but he wasn’t kind. He could be kind, and he was at certain, select moments, but kind wasn’t his go-to. Still, I never considered him to be “a nice guy” even though he was framed as the friendliest one of the crew besides Kai (who I think of as Friendly but not A Friend; he’s too reserved for that and I think people would have eventually picked up on it). I considered Will as the mood maker; someone who keeps the good times going, knows just the exact right/funny thing to say, and never lets things get him down. Of course, these kinds people aren’t like this 100% of the time. And there’s always a good chance people who seem to be like this 100% of the time are actually hiding something about themselves.

Because of his privilege, Will was sort of shielded from the messy things in life. He never had to face disappointment, until Emory showed up. He’s also never had to deal with bad things happening that he couldn't control. He’d probably rarely been told no, that he couldn't do something or have something. And when he was told no, he got to decided whether or not to listen to it. Emmy is the first person who said no and meant it. And when he kept pushing, he found out why and suddenly the world is not as clear cut and fun and bright as he thought it was. The poor baby…

I also thought that Damon was coming around to Emory after the burial. I have such a clear image in my head of him throwing his arm around her shoulders and them walking down the hall like that until Will interrupted them. My mind clings to it as a good moment (even though it was still not very good at all…) and wonders what would have happened if Will hadn't been there. I figured any negativity coming from Damon about Emory after that was because Emory still walked away from Will and broke his heart. Damon knew that Will – even through his smiles – wasn’t the same after that and it pissed him off. And he didn’t want Will to keep going after her, knowing what was actually going on.

Will’s reaction to Damon bad-mouthing Emory was actually really sweet to me. Despite his heart break, he couldn’t let anyone say a bad thing about her. It must have been confusing for him; why couldn’t he just move on? Yet, he still saw her as something so precious that he didn’t want to hear anything bad. Unlike with other couples who let their friends trash talk their ex’s. Because of moments like this, I disagree that Will and Emmy’s pain was one-sided. Emmy handled it better (after all, she didn’t end up in prison), but both of them were in a lot of pain. But I do understand what you’re saying.

I liked that Will wasn’t as straightforward as some of the others. I liked that I struggled with him being such a sweetheart one moment and a complete bonehead the next. But Emmy wasn’t perfect either. I have no way of excusing her actions when Will came over (achem – broke in) and they had that fight where she tells him that she thinks he’d leave her after they had sex because he’s that kind of guy, and he’s so hurt because he knows how real his feelings are. He tries to leave, which was exactly what she wanted! And yet…she pulls him back. If she’d let him walk out the door, as much as it would have hurt, they might have avoided the much worse heartbreak that was just around the corner, but she didn’t. That was very not-nice of her. Of course, even if she had, it could have just been prolonging the inevitable. Because if there’s one thing that’s true about high school Willemmy it’s that they were the right person at the wrong time. It’s what made them so good.

I think what you’re trying to say is that if Emmy had talked about how Will had treated her sometimes, they wouldn’t have believed her? Corrected me if I’m wrong, but if that’s what you meant, then – I think they would have believed her, but I think the other teens in Thunder Bay would have thought it was a privilege that Will Grayson give her all this attention. They would have told her she’s overreacting; it’s normal; or “but isn’t it hot? I’d kill for Will Grayson to corner me in the pool!” Or if she was trying to tell the other guys how Will had treated her, I don’t think they would have cared. Or, they might have thought that they’d have done worse.

My point is, I don’t think anyone would have cared if Emmy told them the truth, not that they wouldn’t have believed her. The guys are biased towards Will, but I don’t think they’re blinded to who Will really is. I think they see him more clearly than anyone else. They just don’t care if he’s hurt Emmy at all. She hurt him, whether it was intentional or not, and that’s all that mattered. And even after they’d come to a reconciliation, they still might not have cared. These people seem to be the kind that live life in extremes, which means they’d think that love should bring just as much pain as it does pleasure.

They might possibly be really surprised to learn about Emmy and Damon’s bond, they’re shared experience and why Emmy strangely feels really comfortable in Damon’s company so quickly. After all, he should be the one that takes the longest to warm up to…right??? And Emmy’s just like “well, yeah. And if I hadn’t helped him bury a body and then took a shower with him where he offered to kill my brother, and I realized he might not be so terrible, then I might be more afraid. But he’s fine.”

I agree with what you’re saying about Emory not being able to rely on Will at 17. It’s one of the reasons I can’t be mad at her for breaking his heart. What other option did he give her? And it is really sad to see it from each of their pov, but I admit I find Emmy’s to be the sadder of the two.

It always kills me to read the scene where Kai meets Banks on the side of the road in Hideaway, knowing what Will went through that day and the night before that no one else knows. Not even Damon yet. He’s already in so much pain, but do you see it? Nope.

Will finally admitting that he wasn’t entitled to her heart just because he wanted it, and that he should have been what she needed: a friend did so much for me. I just wish we’d got to see it admitted out loud. Even though it’s acknowledged, hearing it probably would have done so much.

Of course, right after that he left her again...

I mean, overall I agree with you. They're story has a lot of room for discussion and different perspectives.

*Bolded not meant for emphasis but to help find points in the post, and to break up the reading*

#devil's night series #asked and answered 48 #asked and answered #emory scott #will grayson iii #damon torrance

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cucumbersncheese · 8 years ago

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okay but while thinking about things that stick with me: honestly a single comment can make someone's day, night, afternoon, evening and anything and everything; it can stick with them for ages and ages for better or for worse, so please. You never know so please, be kind.

#this is 100% about the angelic comment someone gave me and 100% about the wife thing and 100% about ecah piece of love i have recieved #in my life #cheese rambles #okay now i sleep gnightttt sleep well whenever u sleep

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imwithdumbs · 7 years ago

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06/12/2018 - 2341 hour

Dear dumber,

Hey, I’m feeling lonely again tonight. The feeling comes so sudden it shocks me. I’m just watching movies, one after another (first was Les Miserables and now a movie called Like Minds) and suddenly I’m just struck with this feeling and thought that I don’t really have anyone right now that can just sit through me ranting about how amazing these movies are that I enjoy watching so much. I mean, it’s not like you were much of a good listener when it came to me fangirling over something that you didn’t know or enjoy. Your face was always like you were just tolerating me and though you didn’t like, you still let me rambled on about it, like you fueled me to keep talking about it. And I guess I was very much comfortable with you that it never deterred me to stop fangirling like that. I have good friends here at uni and there is this one that totally suits me and is very nice and kind yet also crazy (so fit my friendship criteria haha) and she’s the one I share about the things I love. In fact, I just had a pizza party for dinner with her and she watched a part of Les Miserables with me and listened to me describing about the movie a little and she even downloaded the movie from my laptop because she liked the movie too. But... I don’t know. I just feel like I still don’t have that one friend I can talk about anything freely. Which leads me to this lonely feeling and God... It’s so easy to cry. I’m suddenly such a weak ass bitch, you know. It’s not that I always cry. Just when I'm stricken with this sort of feeling and bad thoughts. It’s so easy to cry. Worse, I don’t even know what is it that I want, what is it that can get rid of this feeling. Talking to you on whatsapp about this sort of make me feel like I’m an emotional, brat, immature bitch, super clingy too. And I know you’re busy. You have a lot of other important things. And meeting you will help a bit but then this thing is a cycle and I’ll just have another night where I feel this crappy again. And even planning to meet you is so hard. And so I come to wish I have an early death. I’m not suicidal, I’ve never thought of hurting myself or taking my own life, the sort. I just wish I’ll die soon... That’s not so bad, right? It’s just... being all okay for a long time, having fun with friends, just feeling all around happy and good, but then suddenly one night getting all the crappy feels... It’s tiring, you know? And again, it makes me feel like I’m not the me I used to know, makes me feel weak. I know it’s okay to cry and it’s just being human to feel down at a time, I understand that, but I also hate it. I don’t even know what’s the point of me just typing here while I’m bawling silently, alone, by myself and these snorts running down my nose but I guess writing has always make me feel better. So here I am typing all this, analysing myself here in the hopes that it will help me calm down. I’ll probably already be all fine by the time you read this post so no worries ^^ Or I’ll be dead due to natural causes/God’s will, whichever comes first. It’s why I rant here instead of at your whatsapp. If I want you to like comfort me and give me any attention, I would have make some dramatic status on whatsapp or something. I’m that much of an attention seeker anyway, you know right? But, I just want to have a space to type this and yeah... That’s it. I’m lonely, I’m crying, I feel crappy, I’m wishing I’ll die soon... I acknowledge that these are what I’m feeling. I’m calming down slightly already. I guess. These tissues on my bed are disgusting but then they’re all mine pfft... Wish to see you soon, dumber. I love you. Muah

Forever and Always,

Ecah

#cakcibeng #061218

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