#essentially useless

[humanjarvis]

pop star!reader x manager!caleb 🔞

you and caleb grew up together. with his shrewd mindset, natural charm, and uncanny business acumen, he always looked out for you. so when you finally made it big, of course you’d asked him to be your manager. and of course he’d agreed. it never would have been anyone else.

you've kissed a couple times before. touched some. but it always ended the same: he’d pull away and shut you out. he’d used more excuses than you could count: “it’d be irresponsible,” “i’d be crossing a line,” “i’d never forgive myself if i ruined our friendship”

but funnily enough, caleb’s never had a girlfriend. and he’s scared off every A-list suitor who’s dared to look your way. 

caleb hates when you provoke him. also hates when you wear revealing costumes.

so when he helps plan your setlist for an upcoming show, you sneak behind his back and recruit your bravest dancers to switch out your song cover segment for a special surprise performance 

the lyrics are raunchy and rebellious and loaded with references to him—a challenge for him to act on his forbidden desires 

your “outfit” is basically strips of fabric, and the way you’re practically flashing the audience nearly gives him a heart attack

he wants to pull you down from the stage. wants to stop the show entirely. but even in his outrage, he puts your reputation first

when you flounce backstage for your outfit change between songs, he hunts you down. steals your clothes from the girls who were supposed to help you change, grits out that he’ll do it himself, and pulls you into your dressing room

the argument starts as soon as he locks the door. you’re asking what he thinks he’s doing, he’s asking what that stunt was. all the while, he hurriedly yanks and tugs and unzips, leaving you half-dressed and breathing hard

the moment you’re almost bare in front of him, his anger begins to fizzle. he can’t waste his focus on anything more than the shape of your body

but you can’t have that. so you set him back off.

taunting him about how the song was for all the cowards in the audience, and maybe you should go find one and ask if he liked what he saw. he’d show you a better time than your manager ever had, that’s for sure

narrowed eyes and a clenched jaw. that’s all you see before he’s ripping off your tights and underwear, pushing you against the wall and surging into your waiting core

it’s fast and messy and unrestrained. it’s not what either of you would’ve chosen for your first time together, but something had to give. it was either this, or he followed you onstage and gave the audience a real show

the room fills with a mix of groans and sighs and traded barbs about how annoying the other is. and when you smugly tell him the kicker—the song you’d performed was an original, and you’d written it about him—the thick, sticky jets of his cum warm your insides, and you clench around him with a breathy, dazed laugh

and in record time, snapping immediately back into the overbearing manager role, he shoves your new outfit over your still-trembling body and walks you back to the curtain

“this discussion isn’t over. i’ll see you when you’re done” he promises lowly before nudging you onstage

and for the next half hour, you’re forced to finish the show with your mixed release dripping down your legs

i watched a clip of garden of eden by lady gaga & it inspired this quick outline of how i would write this full thing if i were going to. which i’m not bc i’ve already written a similar pop star au

[wretchedprophecy]

[yandere-daydreams]

do you ever get hate? I'm a new dark content writer and got my first anon who obviously has conflicted views. I guess how do you cope with it? Do you just delete and move on? Figured I'd ask the best of the best this question 💙

i still get the occasional death threat from time to time, but it does kind of taper out as your blog grows and people realize they can not dissuade you from your sinful, hedonistic ways. my recommendation is always to delete it as soon as possible (out of sight out of mind etc.) unless it happens to be particularly funny or you have something funny to say in response. otherwise, it really isn't worth it. arguing with people on the internet is a frustrating and exhausting way to spend your time and we have better things to do (writing fucked up porn).

[not-a-heretic]

strange looking cat

[sad-scarred-sassy]

“And if they do not kill Feyre outright, then they might realize what they stand to gain if gifted with offspring from her, too.”

“My stomach had turned over at the implication. That I might be stolen—and kept—for … breeding. Surely … surely no High Lord would go so far.”

Does it puzzle yall that this is essentially what ended up happening? This was Ianthe arguing with Lucien about not letting Feyre train. I fucking hate Ianthe and I do think this conversation should have included Feyre but I think these points are valid (even if she probably had ulterior motives for making them).

Now fast-forward to ACOSF and the whole pregnancy thing, how Rhys was hiding from her the fact she would most definitely die (while she could have avoided by shifting herself one more time with a risk of only hurting the baby) and in the same book we have the High King conversation that shows how much the Inner Circle weaponize the sisters.

“And do not forget that Nesta herself—and Elain, with whatever powers she has—is here. Feyre is here. All three sisters blessed by fate and gifted with powers to match your own. Feyre alone doubles your strength. Nesta makes you unstoppable. Especially if she were to march into battle wearing the Mask. No enemy could stand against her.”

Rhys seemingly turns the idea down but his actions speak otherwise.

I just find it very eerie how Feyre doesn’t realize what made her stomach turn is her reality. It is also sad that a character that had to always “earn” the love she received coincidentally ended up with the one who only began to treat her with humanity when she became powerful and useful.

[creative-robot]

I like to think that Showfall didn’t actually do all that much to The Puzzler, they snatched him up and he was just already Like That

[livelivefastfree]

Alda posted some art and got me thinking about this blog again so here are some cool burners and increasingly unhinged Marginalia Mikes

[parttimetomfooler]

The 'she never would've let you leave if she didn't have a spare' trope genuinely haunts me. It keeps me up at night. I truly wonder deeply and profoundly abt it every single day. i haven't even read Choices yet the label of spare haunts every single interpretation I will ever have of regulus arcturus black. he can never not have a brother, even when he doesn't. even when he responds "barty and evan are fine, thanks for asking.' even when he feels like his brother will never forgive him for the sacrifices he has had to make. every word he speaks, every thing he does every breath he takes is all through the lens of being the safety blanket for a loose cannon of a sibling and it haunts me.

[caitlynmeow]

Ideally Bela wouldn’t pick Daniela to do anything in like ever. Cassandra, while a royal pain in her ass is the one she trusts with these things. Except for one problem: Cassandra is near impossible to reach. Her phone is always on silent and she never checks it. She avoids picking up calls and if you’re not physically around her it actually takes her 7-10 working days to get back to you.

So when Bela needs something urgent that only Cass can do right? She has no choice but to call Daniela and deal with how she will fuck it up because she’s not that reliable.

[fire-on-fuel]

me personally if luthen rael showed up at my base and called me a petty anarchist I would just start coughing chemicals in his face

[ganondoodle]

(im maybe thinking a little too much about that totk rewritten project ..)

had a cool idea and wanna know what people would prefer; after you beat ganondorf once, marking the half way point of the game, would you rather:

get a long cutscene in which you see some of his memories, that shows why he ended up there and why he is the way he is, with you occasionally being able to walk around in them

get a few sudden flashes of memories, nothing detailed or clear but have 'miasma hearts' spawn across the surface and underground map, a tree like growth of miasma that holds an important memory from the past; they unlock in order of them happening as there are several stages of growth to them, you can find all before seeing the first one but you cant access the memory until the 'tree' has matured, they will grow more the closer you are to unlocking them; they slowly lead you back towards ganondorf and you need all of them to unlock the endboss

[james-winston]

omfg I am so behind on this (and yes I’ve only become aware of it because Nicholas Galitzine offof rwarb is in it) but they’re making a fucking Duke of Buckingham series!!!

And you’re all sitting there like “who??” well let me tell you about this absolute fuck.

George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham was the favourite of King James VI&I and by favourite I do mean it in the gayest of ways. (He started life as Sir George, the shittest of titles, and fucked his way to a Dukedom.)

Long story short, here’s a list of things I need to see in this series or I will SUE:

George slut dropping his way into James’s bed. (I mean, he danced for him, but whatever the 17th century equivalent to slut dropping was you can bet George was doing it.)

The exasperation of James’s advisors when he picks yet another beautiful young man to fuck and give totally unreasonable amounts of money and power to.

Even funnier if they show them actively helping George overthrow James’s old favourite before realising “oh shit this one’s worse.”

George failing consistently at every job he was given. (Yes I know he didn’t actually but where’s the comedy in competency? Give me himbo George or give me death.)

Parliament calling James to task on George being a fucking useless nuisance and James standing up in front of parliament and literally saying, “You may be sure that I love the Earl of Buckingham more than anyone else, and more than you who are here assembled. I wish to speak in my own behalf, and not to have it thought to be a defect, for Jesus Christ did the same, and therefore I cannot be blamed. Christ had his John, and I have my George.” (Huge points for throwing Jesus under the gay bus too.)

James practically arranging George’s marriage for him and then riding his horse around the park crying because George, shock, got married.

What better be the dirtiest sex scenes ever broadcast on British television that lead to the “master and dog” letter.

The consistent drama queenery from James, e.g:

I refuse to tag this as a spoiler because it happened 400 years ago: George smothering James and then playing the heartbroken widow to his son. (Historically debated, if anyone wants details shoot me an ask.)

George getting stabbed to death in what was probably the justified climax of him being the most irritating man alive.

George’s assassin getting the warmest send off ever given by any crowd at a public execution cause the people hated George so fucking much.

[bibibbon]

Your recent post got me curious. How different would Midoriya had been if the bullying only specifically from Bakugo (including Bakugo calling him “Deku”) didn’t start until they began attending middle school? Plus any potential plot changes?

I wanna specify that bakugo started calling Izuku the name Deku way before he physically started bullying Izuku. We literally see it in a flashback around the time when izuku and bakugo were both around 3 is when bakugo started to call Izuku the name Deku.

However, that aside if the bullying started in middle school, then a lot of things will change, and I mean many.

Izuku is shown to learn that people aren't equal at the age of 4 and that's because of the way we see Bakugo treats him as a child and him finding out that he is quirkless.

Now, this post will assume that Izuku's bullying or social interactions will be BETTER due to bakugo (his main antagonist) not bullying him until they're in middle school.

Due to Izuku not particularly learning this lesson at age 4 he will probably learn it when he starts to get bullied in middle school and this will mean that izuku will :

Probably not suffer from extremely low self-esteem issues. He will have them, but it won't be as bad due to the fact that someone he admires wasn't been putting him down since childhood

He will have a lot more social skills considering the fact that he doesn't become socially stunted due to bakugo's aggressive and socially demeaning behaviour as a child, allowing him to interact with others a lot more making making him less awkward

There will be a higher feeling of betrayal and tensions between the two, which would mean that Izuku would probably match bakugo's feelings in intensity. Due to this, I feel like Izuku will be seen standing up for himself a lot more, so when bakugo tells izuku to take a Swan dive we will probably see both of them showing a much more emotional outburst and we may see a lot more of izuku actually considering it because of how betrayed he genuinely feels.

Again, like I mentioned before Izuku's and bakugo's feelings would be a lot more intense and so would their strained relationship meaning that there is a strong possibility that izuku doesn't try and save bakugo and may actually try and forget about him

I feel like Izuku after bakugo starts to bully him here would ditch the nickname of kaachan as well

Izuku will be more likely to reject the name Deku as his hero name

I think that would be the rough outline of it.

You can argue that due to Izuku feeling more intense emotions he would engage a lot more with bakugo and they both would have bigger conflicts.

You can also argue that Izuku's behaviour may be worse in terms of his self-esteem and his social skills after the betrayal of a close friend. However, this means that we are assuming that bakugo was a good friend to izuku when they were younger.

[fizzlehead]

if i could see all my friends tonight

(an homage to riverdale's many friendships set to one of my favorite songs)

[smolsawyer]

All Irlena kisses (2/16)

“That wasn’t necessary, miss.”

[arttsuka]

I saw a real Stanley cup at a store yesterday and wth they're so ugly why do people collect them