#fastedious | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

quaintrellelily · 5 years ago

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Sometimes having nothing to do makes me wait for fear.

I’ll be having tea. I’ll be watching something. I’ll just be scrolling through posts or I’ll be fastediously screenshotting clothes I wish I could buy. And then it dawns on me slowly..

..something could go wrong.

Then I’ll question myself and every other intricate detail about me and my life. Again and again and again until my mind is tired.

And why?

Probably because (and I speak for myself) one of my most recent life detours was the realisation that I hated my course after being so determined to like it and actually having liked it in the beginning.

The thing is, your subconcious is mother freaking powerful. If you experienced sudden pain in the midst of a place and time you thought was peaceful, you’re gonna remember it. And if that pain does show up, in the form of a trigger, a reminder, or anything else forcing you to confront whatever existential pain you’re managing, you have to call upon your higher self to really see it for what it is: nothing absolute. And almost nothing ever concrete.

If you do that often and throw in a laugh or two after the twang of pain insidiously clawing inside of the pit of your stomach, I truly think WE can slowly learn to move past anything grinding away at our mental wellbeing. It is then I think we will stop waiting for the fear

(We are like rivers, changing with each tidal blow)

#daily reminder

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