#filthy hacker shit

[queenlua]

lmao what

Tired of users loading malware into your mainframes? Got tricked into making the mainframe into a blockchain miner? Solve all your problems from bad data with this unique Antivirus Punch Card. Simply run this card through the punch card reader until it is fully integrated into your system. Then your system will reject any bad punch cards from being loaded. Lovingly crafted on a manual keypunch with New Old Stock punch cards. Options: White - Generic 5081 punch card Red - Globe No. 1 5081 punch card Green - IBM United Kingdom 5081 punch card Set of Three - One of each white, red, and green punch cards Note: This is a novelty product. Use in actual card readers at your own risk. This is a lace card, a punch card with every spot punched out, that rejects bad data by breaking apart and jamming the card reader, preventing all data.

this ko-fi store rules

[queenlua]

alternative take: that scene is there b/c the SpongeBob writers were prophetic & warning us about Chromium's future dominance of web browser market

As a child I felt that the SpongeBob scene where the future guy sprays the newly sprouted flower completely chrome, thus probably killing it, had deeper meaning. This was only the beginning to a pretentiousness I would supress until now

[chrissturnslovergirlx]

munch - a vinnie hacker smut

a/n: for my bae @heartsforvin hehehehe; lowercase intended 

warnings: smut, pussy eating, vinnie is the biggest munch, cum eating, dirty talk, filth, praise kink, overstimulation

summary: vinnie living up to the word munch by eating you out 

“oh yes vinnie, just like that!”

those simple words fall out of your mouth in a heap as you wrap your delicate petite fingers in your boyfriend’s curls whose face is in between your thighs. the most dirtiest noises fill the room as you yelp and squirm. between the loud wet noises of your pussy and vinnie’s moaning and sucking, you feel yourself melting into the bedsheets and pillows sprawled out around you. you raise your head slightly with whatever strength is left in your body to look at vinnie. feeling your eyes on him, he looks up at you and smirks as he watches your eyes roll back in pure please and ecstasy. he detaches his lips from your swollen core and wipes his mouth.

“like what you see, princess?”

“mhm”.

“aw have i got you fucked dumb already? i haven’t even got my dick inside you and you’re already crying for me. such a slut you are”.

he dives back down and continues his previous actions, making you scream. the messy slurping noises have you in a daze before you’re arching your back due to the sudden stimulation of your clit being toyed with by vinnie’s rough fingers. 

“mmm such a good girl for me, look at you enjoying this shit. such a filthy little girl. that’s it, take it all baby, want you to cum all over my face”.

your eyes rolled so far back you can see your brain, your legs shake with every suck and lick that your boyfriend’s mouth and tongue makes. all you could do was simply cry out and nod, words being too overwhelming to use right now. out of nowhere, your orgasm hits you hard. back arched, mouth wide open and legs numb, you’re whining and whimpering you cum on vinnie’s face. 

“goodness sweetheart! what a mess! enjoyed that one, huh? bet you’ll like your second one.”

before you can even speak, his head is back and buried in between your thighs, cleaning up all the mess just to create another one. you’re so overstimulated that you can barely form coherent sentences. his fingers working so deep inside your seeping wetness and his tongue circling your clit super fast, all he could hear was your sweet moans and cries for him to make you cum again.

“you wanna cum?”

“please!”

“please what?”

“wanna cum… please!”

“good girl, cum for me. that’s right, you got it. make that cute pussy cum on my face again”. 

the second orgasm washes over, your moans and cries echo throughout the room as vinnie licks every last drop of cum. your trembling legs being held by his strong biceps, your hands held still by his large ones, your breathing erratic as you slowly come down from your high. your back finally hits the mattress and your heart rate slows. little shudders are all that’s left as vinnie licks up the last few drops that leak out of your pussy before he heads to the bathroom to grab a fresh warm towel for you.

“you did such a good job for me, baby. so proud of you.” he says with a kiss to your overly sensitive clit as he cleans you up gently.

“thank you.”

“thank you what?”

“thank you daddy”, you giggle, earning a sweet, sensual kiss.

[impyssadobsessions]

DpxDC Prompt: Danny Overshadows the Batmobile

... Danny while visiting Gotham saves Batman by possessing the batmobile- unfortunately he gets stuck.

Imma copy and paste my thoughts on how I would take this from discord LOL

Bruce knows there is something wrong with the batmobile and runs test to see if he got hack. But same time conflicted because whoever hacked his vehicle just saved his life.

Also can see Fenton driving skills put to use plus with Danny's ability to phase through. Definitely makes car chases easier if Bruce can jack the runaway vans from the inside.

But Danny freaking out- using the radio or gps to try and speak after he realizes he needs help to get out of the car… and that Batman wont be As upset as he thinks.

Oo meanwhile Fentons are all over Gotham looking for their missing son… having no idea Danny overshadowed a car.

Danny figuring out how to send tuck a message to send to jazz…ends up being tracked by the bats who go investigate thinking tuck's the hacker.

Tucker trying to cover for Danny

Ooo imagine if they try to chase down Fentons because of them driving crazy(and maybe they're attacking batmobile because they can detect a ghost) and its the only car Danny cant phase through and even getting damaged by.

So he tries to plead in the radio to batman.

And then Bruce wonders if it actually was the Fentons but things still dont make sense… until the team that investigating Tuck brings in more evidence and probably Tuck.

Then it clicks.. Danny isnt ai/bot used to hack the car but Danny Fenton the missing child.

Tuck still the key to figure out how Danny got stuck. Apparently a certain part is made from materials similar to the thermos.

But catch is they need tools from Fentons to get him out so they have to bait them and have Tuck and another bat probably Tim help gather the materials.

Maybe batman confronts them, raising his arms as Fentons accuse batman being a filthy ghost that stole their child. While the others steal what they need.

When it looks like the Fentons are not going to cooperate and blast batman (batman ready to go on offensive ) Danny uses a shield to send blasts back at his parents beeping for batman to get back in.

They go on another chase where Danny drives the batmobile off a cliff and into water only to safely fly them back to the cave. Exhausted and powering down as soon as they're on land letting Bruce take the wheel again.

When Tim n Tuck finally get Danny free they all jump for joy then quickly reminded Danny is still in the batcave. And like oh right shit… they know what i am >>'

But Danny already impressed the bats so i can see them offering to help Danny out further.

Tim n tuck become friends and soon Danny gets a support of heroes. He goes back to his family whose so happy to see him safe… Danny putting in a good word about batman but it falls on deaf ears.

Pfft be funny this is the catalyst to have Fentons moving to Gotham to hunt down batman.

Bruce investing in the Fentons just so he can work on their tech and modify them to not work on Danny- and then Danny haunting the car every now and them for old time sake.

Thought this was just fun idea XD

[songmingisthighs]

Oddeleny

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. xxxv - sabbatical

ghost!yeosang × reader

genre : ghost!au

rating, warning : mature; crude jokes and filthy language

buy me coffee ?

wc : 1.1 k

a connection once had, broken with the expectation that the ending is final. but life has an odd proclivity of making attachments from detachments. in the end, we don't know what we lost until we look at what we have

For once, you were so deep into your work, pouring all of the anger and frustration towards Yeosang into something more productive. You were so into typing that you jumped when your door was slammed open and then shut in the speed of lightning. Thinking that it was Yunho or Jongho (because Hongjoong is quiet as a cat and is only loud with his voice on topics that infuriates him), you didn't even bother to look back.

"If one of you knuckleheads have something to say about my phone sabbatical you can file it into the complain box," which was really your trash can but they knew that.

It wasn't until you were ripped away from your work laptop with the swivel of your chair did you even realize that it was Leo who stood towering over you.

"What in God's name do you think you were doing?" He asked, huffy and looking pissed. Which was his usual resting bitch face plus a glare.

Pushing his hand off your chair, you shrugged at him, "I don't know what you're talking about," you said and tried to swivel back but he held on, "You know what I'm talking about," he stated. You furrowed your eyebrows at him and shook your head, "Oppa, I'm literally clueless here. Can I just go back to work?" This time, instead of answering you, Leo produced your phone out of his pocket which made your heart beat quicker in nerves and he showed you the chat with Yeosang. "Why the hell do you have a contact named Yeosang and even has his face on it?" He asked.

Now his anger made sense since he had been the one advocating for your mental wellbeing and he knew very well what Yeosang could do to you. But you still couldn't tell him what was going on so you shrugged in indiference as best as you could, feigning acknowledgement despite your pupils shaking when you caught a glimpse of the new conversation at the bottom, "I don't know." You knew it was a lame answer but it was the best in the pressing situation. Unfortunately, Leo was not satisfied with that answer.

"Are you kidding? So this is a joke?" He asked, getting huffier. You couldn't help but glared at him, "What's in it to you? It was just a stupid chat it means nothing. I was just entertaining an idea or some shit," "So this could be a catfish and rather than doing the logical thing, you decided to bet on your mental wellbeing?"

Though it not be the way he meant things to be but you didn't like the insinuation that you were an idiot especially coming from someone who knew you damn well and you let your displeased feelings shown. "Are you seriously insinuating that I'm some sort of an idiot or something? Because I was the one who lived through what I lived through and look at me, I'm just fine!"

At this point, the both of you knew that you were getting more and more frustrated at each other for no apparent reason and neither one of you were willing to back down since technically both of you had somewhat of a point. Leo realized that the things he wanted to say, though it's based on him worrying over you as a caregiver, would not be accepted well by you so he bit his words back. Literally. You could see him biting the inside of his cheek as he stared at you, contemplating on what to do. Then, he said something you didn't expect.

"You need to change your phone," he stated oh-so-simply. Incredulous, you blinked repeatedly, thinking you had heard wrong. "Excuse me?" "You need to change your phone because whatever this is, I have a feeling this had something to do with the hacker you were so worried about a while ago so I think you need to just leave this all behind and forget about it," he said, showing that he was serious. "I don't need to change my phone. If I change my phone due to EVERY single miniscule discomfort then I'd be the most wasteful person to ever exist, oppa," you said in the most annoying tone you can muster, hoping that he would get the hint and just leave you be.

"Are you kidding?" Alas, he was one adamant son of a bitch. "That's not my point, (y/n) and you know it. I just want to do what's best for you considering what happened in the past!"

This time, you couldn't hold it in. You pushed yourself off the chair, forcing Leo to take a step back and braced yourself. "Why do you have to insert yourself into my decision? I'm not the same idiotic 12 year old who thought mommy and daddy would step up for me and just stupidly agree to things without taking any consideration of anything important. I'm not stupid! In case it you didn't notice despite you always, ALWAYS, scrutinizing my movements as if i'm the village idiot, I grew up. I learned from my mistakes and I actually used my brain when I make a decision!"

It wasn't the tone nor the volume of your voice that caused Leo's face to fall. It wasn't even the fact that you were standing up to him which in all honesty, made him proud. It was the fact that you perceived what he thought was genuine worry and care as something so negative. He wasn't able to pin down if he was hurt with you or hurt with himself though. But it did made him realize that he couldn't say anything to help you, not even to change your mind, but to just be available for you. It was vague if it was long or short term but he knew that that was the line for him.

So, in surprising dejection, Leo sighed and put down your phone next to your work laptop before he paused in front of you. For a moment you thought that he had one last thing to say, something that would make him have the final word and you prepared yourself to pary whatever it is he had to say. So when he simply turned around and quietly leave, you felt your stomach drop and guilt bubbling up. Usually, if you had an argument, Leo would still have something snarky to say or at least show how displeased he was. But the silence and the lack of response made you think that you fucked up big time.

Though the guilt was nothing compared to the anger you felt towards a certain someone. Or some soul.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

taglist :

@luvt0kki @aestheticsluut @stayatinykatsy @miaatiny @yukichan67 @maidens-world @wlv-asteria @bee-the-loser @junstulip @keinskpopcorner @donghyuckanti27 @axo-l0tl @aurora-tiny @cyber-innie @oddracha @dinossaurz @vcutparis @redzie02 @blackb3ll @mizumigi @jan-l @zoro-nanami-wifey @charreddonuts @angelicyeo @green-agent @teenyfinds @gxlden-bxbyy @that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict @tinyelfperson @jenowithjaem @mayonnaisehoeshit @allisonleannn @raspberrysannie @surveilenceysystem @borahae-reads @watanabehan @boo-ven9eance @cosmolight @ateezourstars @potatos-on-clouds @iinsomiac @kirbrary

@starjoongie1117 @rheriver

[queenlua]

#things that are war crimes. to me

I'm all accepting and shit until I see a language that accepts single or double quotes for strings and I turn into a frothing lunatic; pick a fucking side you debauched reprobates

[accidentwithapen]

Hiii!!! GIGS in Space AU Once Again on my mind so heres a quick plot rundown allll put in one post

If you read through this all i love you <3

If not, have this grian doodle anyways

So Grian, Scar, Impulse, and Skizz are all prisoners in this like,,, dystopian space society. All are imprisoned for different reasons:

- Grian is a vandalist, doing graffiti and setting minor explosions around different government/company sites. When arrested and asked why he does what he does, he claims "it's about the principal"

- Impulse worked as a mechanic for a major company, but an incident resulting in a death and 3 injuries gets wrongfully pinned on him. He still believes that all circumstances surrounding his arrest are just one big misunderstanding. The company, however, doesnt care.

- Skizz is a hacker, and good at it too. He logs into the system of the same company Impulse worked for, and subsequently gets caught red-handed.

- Nobody knows why Scar is arrested. There are many rumors spread around the prison wing that he and Grian are in that Scar is Secretly A Mob Boss for the Con Corp. family. But surely someone so clumsy and silly cant possibly be so powerful, right? thats what Grian thinks, anyways.

So these doofuses have two options.

1. they can serve their sentence rotting in a shitty space prison with Nothing To Do and being forced into manual labor

2. they can get out slightly earlier after enough time spent doing Community Service

They go for the second one, which Happens to be gathering extraterrestrial data for Impulse's old Company (i need a name for it dear god its ridiculous at this point). So after all independently choosing the community service option, they get grouped into a squad of the four of them and get sent out to different semi-abandoned planets to hunt monsters/ghosts/aliens and collect data. What they eventually figure out is that the reason they are given so much freedom with their community service is that they are not intended to survive. They devise an escape plan and on their third mission together, they successfully escape together.

Its important to note that Scar and Grian came from the same cell block, so Grian decides to tell Skizz and Impulse about the mob boss rumors (as a prank, of course), and warns them that Scar Doesn't Like Swearing. basically scaring everyone into facing these cosmic horrors with a PG attitude

So the GIGS escape with a real shitty spacecraft and are on the run from the government (theres no way they're gonna succeed like this) up until they get captured. but not by the government.

They get captured by morally gray, filthy rich, weapons manufacturer Doc. (or his hitman at least, one Geminitay)

Doc explains to the GIGS that he has paid all of their bail fees, and now they must work off their debt to him. as delivery boys.

Doc enlists Gem to look after the GIGS during their deliveries. Gem Does Not Like This but shes not gonna say no to her boss.

Basically the rest of it is a silly stupid sci fi sitcom about funny found family doing goofy delivery missions and learning more about each other along the way.

Oh, and remember those rumors about Scar? Theyre all true. And there are Consequences for his absence in the family....

Heres some extra little character notes:

- While Impulse believes his arrest was a genuine mistake at first, during their second bout of community service, he and skizz discover how little the company actually cares about its employees and Impulse gets real mad that his entire livelihood is a lie and goes ham and wrecks some shit (good for him)

- Gem was taken in by Doc at a very young age, with life-threatening injuries. Doc used his experience with mad sciencery to fix her up with whatever he had on hand, mostly animal parts. now shes a hybrid.

- Gem sees Doc as a father figure, but has No Clue how to express that so from her perspective shes just Really Loyal to her boss and doing nothing more than paying off a life debt.

- Grian has a mycelium infection running up his arm that he keeps secret from everyone else. the first in the group to find out about it is Gem

- Scar uses mobility aids of many varieties, but mostly uses a cane with robotic leg splints on missions

Anyways thats all for now, if you wanna see some more doodles and stuff you can look around my gigs in space tag!!

[genuineformality]

Some SoC Kanej recs for @tlonista because I kept hitting the comment character limit on the post where we were talking about this and am now just putting them into a single place. (This also would have gone faster if I hadn't stopped to read every time I grabbed a link out of my bookmarks and lost the comment on the small internet.)

Incredible Prose, set in more or less canonverse:

a tall ship, and a star to steer her by, by @whatanybodygets (whitherward on ao3): Gorgeous prose and complicated emotions. Inej goes to sea and it's everything she wants and nothing like she expects.

roomy, and drenched in sunlight, also by @whatanybodygets. Inej and Kaz have a baby, but this isn't your niece's babyfic. Complicated, ugly, beautiful, these two fucking morons cannot talk to each other to save their lives.

Stories About Crows, by @marycontraire: A series that is by turns fun, touching, silly, heartbreaking, and realistic. Mary understands the importance of water rights and has a brilliant mind for looking at the shit that Leigh Bardugo made up and taking it to its logical conclusion. Top notch worldbuilding, fab writing.

Service Work, by @linearao3: LinearA's filthy (affectionate), kinky, and gorgeous series, in which she tricks her readers into caring deeply about her beautifully researched fake linguistics. Come for the porn, stay for the fake linguistics and gorgeous prose.

Alternate Universes: I don't know why I find these characters so compelling in AUs, which are not typically my thing, but in looking over my bookmarks, I have a ton of them saved.

save the undone years, by @whatanybodygets (again): Look, just read everything whitherward's written. But this is a WWI battlefield hospital AU and it just hits. It's honestly one of the best things I've read in the fandom.

Murder Ballad and Child Ballad, @linearao3: LinearA's filthy and touching a/b/o series, in which she looked at all of the most interesting parts of a/b/o dynamics, stuck it in the Grishaverse, and world-built like her life depended on it. Want to know what the economics of Ketterdam might look like in between the breeding kink? She's got you covered.

Latte Art, by @pyrrhlc: A coffee shop AU with teeth and one of the few written by someone with barista experience (Kaz spends a shocking, but realistic amount of time doing inventory). The whole series is fun, surprisingly high stakes in places, and one of my favorite modern AUs.

The Four Seasons, by @totchipanda: Slooooooow burn fake dating modern AU done well. Unfinished, but I happen to know that Totchi is still actively working on it. It's by turns a fun romp and an interesting take on modern AUs.

all these hours between us, by CoralAcacia: A college hacker AU, single chapter, but I return to this embarrassingly often. It's well written and nicely poignant in the insane pining.

@capinejghafa is also doing an author rec series here on tumblr where she's making gifs of faves along with posts, and honestly, what a delight that is.

[jumpscaregoose]

if u ever have the free time to do so i would love to hear the things you like abt 1980s hacking culture -kenta torture

HI I HAVE FREE TIME NOW I ESCAPED THE TORTURE NEXUS

so the 80s are my favourite era of computer hacking and it's probably. fairly obvious why. despite being a kenta loser I am not a programming loser and like. computer hacking REALLY fell off in cool factor into the 21st century. malware especially

mostly I find the 80s fun to look at because you don't need to understand a bunch of programming and computing stuff to get how the cool bits work. and because everything operated on phone lines there's this really beautiful overlap with phone phreaking (exploring and exploiting phone lines) in a physical-media heavy way

also media! a lot of the tropes we associate with hacking culture today emerged in the 80s (mostly because of wargames)

let's talk about wargames actually wargames is very important.

the protagonist of the film is david lightman, basically the progenitor teen hacker trope. wargames is about this kid accidentally hacking into a government computer running nuclear war simulations and nearly triggering full on armageddon. the actual plot and themes are about the futility of nuclear war but the biggest impact the film had was broadcasting the hacking/phreaking subculture to a mainstream audience and showing what could be done with personal computing

...which meant that when some teens from Milwaukee managed to access a weapons development laboratory using war dialing and weak passwords mere months after the film released the media FREAKED THE FUCK OUT (hiiiiii 414 case hiiiiiiiiii criminology paper topic)

this led to greater discussions around computer crime which led to the computer fraud and abuse act which was used in the criminal conviction of robert tappan morris. aka the guy who wrote the morris worm aka THE quintessential computer worm. when the average person pictures how a virus works they picture something like morris (in fact, so does hackers (1995), which can be pointed to as another codification of teen hacker tropes)

but honestly? my all time favourite thing about this era is the PRIMARY SOURCES

some of the biggest publications from within the community are still archived online and you can read them!

my favourite one of these is phrack, a hacking/phreaking e-zine that's been running since 1985 and is STILL RELEASING ISSUES. there's so much to find in the old issue archives but I'm gonna direct you to issue 7 file 3 to start because it's. you'll understand when you read it

my favourite part of reading old phrack issues or the official phreaker's manual or even random old computer books from my uni library is. they just talk like that. I'd say the kenta mannerisms are closer to these old hacking zines than modern 4chan speak (I checked. for science) (at least from the tls I've read language barrier etc)

I really really recommend poking around those links, just to see. during my descent into madness I've uncovered a couple major public/legal cases like the release of wargames, the 414s, and morris- and you can see how the community reacted and the massive hater energy that was there! it's great!

there's something so timeless about going on the puter and talking about how you were into a thing before it was cool and look at all the filthy casuals taking the heat off the real ones-

oh wait this was about what I like about it

finding a shared interest with my father history major nerd shit. the pre-digital requirements for physical media in computer hacking. timeless nature of haterdom. movie that is good (wargames)

uh idk how to end this. funny text from my father to my mother a year ago

[queenlua]

i just got asked if i could lead a birding trip (!!!) for a bunch of security researchers (!!!) at defcon, b/c they're tired of the Party Hardy Las Vegas Woo atmosphere year after year & they heard i fucked off to go birding that one time & that sounds way more fun

i think this may literally be my finest professional achievement. the intersection of two of my great loves. by god am i gonna make some birders out of these fuckin nerds

[chainemails]

It’s Cybersecurity Awareness Month

🚨🔥💦 WELCOME TO COCKTOBER, YOU TECH FREAK—CYBERSECURITY AWARENESS MONTH, WHERE YOUR BACKDOOR BETTER BE LOCKED UP TIGHT AS HELL OR YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET SLAMMED HARD! 🍑💻💦🔥🚨

IF YOU’RE LEAVING THAT BACKDOOR SWINGING WIDE OPEN 💻🍑, YOU’RE BASICALLY BEGGING FOR EVERY HACKER FROM RUSSIA 🇷🇺, CHINA 🇨🇳, AND EVERY CREEPY DUDE WITH A LAPTOP 💻 TO COME TEARING INTO YOUR FILES 💦🍆—STRAP UP THAT CYBERSECURITY LIKE YOU’RE STRAPPING INTO YOUR FAVORITE TOY! 🍆💥 IF YOU DON’T, YOU'RE GONNA GET FUCKED SO HARD YOUR COMPUTER WON’T BE ABLE TO BOOT UP WITHOUT BLUSHING 😏💻💦!

STEP 1️⃣: IF YOUR PASSWORD IS STILL "PASSWORD123," YOU’RE BASICALLY LYING SPREAD-EAGLE FOR EVERY HACKER ON THE WEB 😤🚫💦! YOU NEED A PASSWORD THAT’S AS NASTY AND STRONG AS YOUR WILDEST FANTASY 💦🛌—TRY "TH1CKD@D69!" 💋🔥 OR "H@RDCORETHRUST69!" 🍆🍑💦! MAKE THAT SHIT SO STRONG IT’LL LEAVE EVERY HACKER BLUE-BALLED!

STEP 2️⃣: TURN ON TWO-FACTOR AUTH 🔑📲—THAT’S LIKE THROWING TWO CONDOMS ON BEFORE YOU LET ANYTHING IN! 💦🍑💻 DOUBLE-BAG THAT SHIT, ‘CAUSE YOU DON’T WANT SOME NASTY RANSOMWARE SNEAKING INTO YOUR HARD DRIVE 🍆💣! DON’T LET THEM RAW-DOG YOUR FILES—LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN 🔒💻!

STEP 3️⃣: QUIT CLICKING ON "LOCAL MILFS WANNA FUCK NOW" 👵🍑 AND "FREE SEXY iPHONES" 📱💦—THAT SHIT WILL FUCK YOU OVER FASTER THAN A DRUNK VEGAS HOOKUP! YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA SCORE BIG 💦💸, BUT ALL YOU'LL GET IS A NASTY VIRUS THAT’LL LEAVE YOUR HARD DRIVE PUKING! 💻🤢💣

FORWARD THIS FILTHY MESSAGE TO 10 FRIENDS OR YOU’LL GET YOUR FILES TAKEN SO HARD, YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SIT STRAIGHT FOR A WEEK! 😭📂💔💦🔥

[david-goldrock]

I have like a bajilion other songs but this one is important

America, you are going on an election, and its important to remember how filth-throwing works. I will not explain the references, both due to a lack of time, and because that would allow the tactic to be seen more clearly

Gantz isn't well, on medicines, and a coward Got his phone hacked, he's Iran's bitch Bankrupts every few days These are things that make you filthy

Bibi had sold submarines to A-Sisi Steals the elections he has a rus-sian hacker

You stutter! You a-a-are full of lies These are things that make you filthy

You're a liar, corrupt, a dictator Your mouth, is a wastewater treatment institute

I searched, I found

I pictured, I shared

I received, I liked I spread filth, I won

I spread filth, I won * 8

Bibi's racist and hates mizrahis I managed to scratch a quote of his from the 70s

He surrenders to the Hamas Because he has no balls

Shut up, your wife is caramelizing unkosher food!

Gantz sexually assaulted someone in a post I financed Ashkenazi did something I didn't understand

A reliable source: Gantz killed soldiers!

These are things that make you filthy!

Let's rise to the next level: I call the police - Gestapo I tweeted, retweeted

A shame!

I didn't know!

I spread filth, I won * 2

Come on, let us sort things out Stop threatning pigeons A spray from the perfume, so that it feels nice Oh, shit, that just fired up the burning mob

Get another filth, Abramovitch is burnt!

Wait a moment, I don't keep up, oof

Continue, it's good for me, I'm doing great Everybody's protest-voting for the cannabis because of that

I spread filth, I won I spread filth, I won I went, I opened Check out what I had released I spread filth, I won I spread filth, I won I spread filth, I won I spread filth, I won

[caprisunisgud]

I think a coalition of 4chan hackers or something should break into the mainframe or whatever of the Pentagon or what building controls the shit and use the drones to blow up every damn elderly dragon in our government.

They're not even dragons, dragons are cool, they're intimidating (hot, too, depending on how they're drawn), these are just fat, filthy old men. I unironically am not opposed to overthrowing the government like our buddies the French. I don't even think it's an "if" anymore, there are only so many outcomes. Some of the ones I can think of (in no particular order) being:

Trump and all the shitters get booted and beheaded.

Straight up revolution. Storm the capitol (actually justified this time), armed coup type shit.

(Probably a bad one) Civil war.

(Sorry for the political post, had to vent some pent up emotions)

[viewersenigma]

Oh my Jesus Christ, I was being tricked by those parasite lowly uglies that pestered me a lot that almost owned my ovaries and nearly wasted my body, I was hypnotized by SF asshole because I am very weak, my life and energy was drained by CV asshole

Rosella B Macapinlac: I need Anti Kaneto so badly! I want to get rid of Shane Balissima and Rose Bela, these girls suggested these boys like the likes of Sriram Karthik and Andrew Tang and random misogynerds something to draw naked pictures of me

FEXL fagtards or SFEX fartards kept saying that it's okay to be naked, to be robbed, to be kidnapped, to be masochiat and to be abused because they want me to be some kind of whore who wants to become mommy then they want me to give such horrible-looking babies to come out from my vagina, that's what Megumi Chang Ogata, Akira Nishitani, and Kaneto Shiozawa’s ghost wants me to marry the parasitic inferior low quality rapists, those assholes told me to accept that they abuse me and used me as their servants, puppet and work harder a lot for them, because its my purpose because I am a girl plus those swind poo poo face are perverts because of my looks.

Oh my God, FEXL shitty people don’t want me to self-defense and protect myself, they want me pregnant and die by the shitty people. Those shitty losers said I should accept that any of them or their friends or the likes of them will do crappy things on me plus they want non stop crappy on me like they want me to be distress forever. They kept torturing me, they made my condition worsen and they had something they did to my vagina, an invisible tiny person came out from my vagina, shit, those ugly rats are horrible perverts.

Kaneto Shazawa wants me to marry the ugly, no class, the abusive, the drunkard, the beggar, the tacky, the jobless, the psychopath, the useless, the pervert, the brainless, the untalented, the Sriram Karthik, the hacker, the criminal, the greedy, the thief, the needy, that asshole wants me to marry the lowly type and the very pesky pest in real life. Like the complete opposite of Jesus Christ. The asshole wants me to have a baby not the money plus he wants me to suffer to withered under the hot sun not the rain. When I asked them for rain then they madly made the sun even much hotter and drier and never rains not once. Those misogynerds are sadistic sadists also.

Of course, they don’t care, because they are pig-faced filthy swine. Good thing I am not under those obsessive chauvinist dogs. Those yucky rats are not just cruel-hearted bullies but they are also parasitic heinous dogs too.

[casspurrjoybell-27]

Claimed by the Beast - Chapter 18a

*Warning Adult Content*

Blackmail - Part 1

- Knox -

There isn't an audience in the kill room tonight.

Knox has yet to utter a word, so it's been No Name doing all the talking.

The man seems eager to meet his maker because he hasn't stopped running his mouth after regaining consciousness.

He spews threat after threat toward Knox like he isn't the one naked, bound and spread out on top of the stone table.

Knox is un-phased, to say the least.

Shit-talkers are usually the quickest to submit, so this should be a fairly easy kill.

"You stupid fucks don't have a clue about how badly you fucked up tonight," exclaims No Name.

"When our supplier finds out about what your crew did..."

"Enough."

Grabbing a dirty rag off the tray beside him, Knox turns around and shoves it deep into the man's mouth.

He then puts on a black pair of gloves and grabs something identical to an ice cream scooper before moving to stand at the head of the table.

No Name's eyes widen a fraction as Knox looks down at him from above.

"I usually give you assholes a choice in the beginning, the easy way out or the hard way out but tonight, I'm choosing for you."

In a swift and effortless move, Knox uses the tool to remove No Name's right eye.

The man's muffled screams fill the room with a dreadful sound, his body thrashing against the hard stone as he struggles to free himself.

Knox sets the tool aside in exchange for a mini-blow torch.

After creating The Fallen Angels emblem on No Name's stomach, he then hovers it above No Name's missing eye while removing the filthy rag from his mouth.

"You know I'm with The Fallen Angels and I know you're a Jackal," Knox says, quickly getting the introductions out of the way.

"Where the fuck has Russell been hiding? I know you all abandoned your old clubhouse, so where's the new one located?"

"I..." the man sobs through his reply, adrenaline and pain causing his body to shake uncontrollably.

"I don't fucking know where Russell is. He hasn't..."

"Wrong answer."

Knox lightly torches No Name's empty eye socket, his own expression is calm like he's roasting marshmallows over a fire.

Reducing a grown man to tears while pushing him to the point where he unashamedly begs for his life usually makes Knox feel something on the inside.

Tonight is different.

Tonight he feels... absolutely nothing.

"You seem to have forgotten about your wallet being in my possession. Quite a lot of information can be found using one's government name and date of birth," Knox says, backing off.

He sets the blow torch down to pick up a scalpel.

He briefly holds it above No Name's sweaty face, allowing him to view it with his remaining good eye.

Knox ignores the man's cries and over a hundred cuts later, No Name arrives at the point where he's ready for death to take him away.

He begs for it.

"Not yet," Knox laughs.

"We aren't done here."

Knox thrusts the scalpel into No Name's shoulder, leaving it there until he's ready to finish the job.

"It'll be in your best interest to quit wasting my time by withholding the fucking truth. It only took me fifteen minutes to learn all that there is to know about you, Jerry McDonald. The more you aggravate me, the worse things get for your pretty little family."

Jerry's face blanches with a new level of fear after hearing his name.

"How did you...?"

"Hacker," Knox answers.

"You're thirty-six years old, divorced and are unfortunately somebody's father. I assume the girl whose picture you had shoved behind your debit cards is your seven-year-old daughter Sadie, right? She lives with her mother, Sabrina Newsom, in Utah. Their address is..."

"Stop. I know what the fuck you're doing," Jerry snaps, his voice faltering with every word he speaks.

"Good. Is it working?" Knox smirks.

"You're a sick bastard," Jerry says.

"I thought you fuckers didn't harm women and children."

"I'm willing to make an exception for you," Knox lies, unblinking.

"You're going to die tonight, Jerry. That much is certain. As for your ex-wife and daughter, if you answer my questions honestly, I will give you my word that my brothers and I will go back to pretending they don't exist. You have no reason to trust me but I have no reason to tell you a lie."

Jerry has never been a religious man but he sends a rushed prayer up to God anyway, asking Him to keep his high school sweetheart and their little girl safe.

He'll gladly spend the rest of his days in hell if it means Sabrina and Sadie are kept out of harms way.

"It wasn't supposed to end like this," Jerry mutters to himself.

"I'm so sorry..."

Even the toughest men crack when it comes to family.

Knox knows this and he exploited it.

"Make a choice," Knox commands. "Now."

You can tell a lot about a man from just one look into his eyes and Knox looks like the type who wouldn't go back on his word whether he liked you or not.

Jerry opts to not roll the dice and test Knox's threat.

Sacrificing himself to save his family is a no-brainer.

"I'll t-tell you everything I know," Jerry concedes.

"After Shaun got killed, our Pres... uh, Russell... fucking spiraled. It wasn't until then that he'd told us Shaun was actually his biological son. And it's true we moved to a new location afterward, but Russell hasn't been staying with us at the new place. Even when doing business, he keeps everyone at a distance. I haven't seen him face to face in weeks but he'll text every other day to..."

"None of that means shit to me," Knox interrupts.

"Tell me more about your VP, Ghost. With Shaun out of the picture, Ghost will be expected to take over for The Jackals once Russell is dead. Surely Russell has kept him close. What's his government name and does he also live at the new clubhouse?"

"Ghost's name is Darryl Kent. He's a God when it comes to tech, and it's why you know nothing about him except for his street name. Sounds like you assholes might need to hire a new hacker." Knox ignores the dig.

"Get back on track."

"Fuck, I can't believe I'm going out like this," Jerry whispers to himself, shame and regret weighing him down heavier than the pain wrecking his body.

"Our new clubhouse is located half a mile off Chesterfield Road but Ghost hasn't been staying there either. I was patched in eight months ago and we've only had a handful of conversations, so I honestly can't tell you what his addresses are."

"Addresses? He's got more than one place?"

"He has two, one he inherited and the other was gifted to him by Russell a few Christmas' back. Ghost has been around for a long time, so Russell treats him differently from the others. After Shaun's death, they got even closer. If anyone knows where Russell has been hiding, it's definitely Ghost."

"Thanks for your cooperation."

Knox removes the scalpel from No Name's shoulder but he pauses after the man pleads to let him continue talking.

"You really meant what you said about my girls?"

"Yes."

"Then there's something else you need to know and I'm only telling you this b-because I need some good fucking karma for wherever the fuck I'm going."

Knox lowers the scalpel.

"I'm listening."

[aravas-writing]

Let us continue.

By introducing more characters! This is a gacha, of course there's loads of characters. You will not escape it, no matter where you go.

Shiraishi Utaha

Don't ask why the pic is bad I just didn't feel like downloading high res every single fucking time

Super science nerd

Built her own auto turret "thundergun"

She uses it as a seat sometimes

Uses her gun, "Meister Zero" as a hammer sometimes

Most serious person of the engineering department

Still a massive nerd, wanted the railgun for space battles

Toyomi Kotori

Can talk forever

Autism

Infodumps over fucking everything

Can give you a several hour lecture over the origins of corned beef

Queen of Trivia night

Gets depressed when ignored

Still an excellent engineer

Minigun "Professor K", also called "EX-plain" (do NOT ask for the origin unless you want a lecture on firearms history)

Nekozuka Hibiki

Has cat in name, is dog girl

Amazing engineer, bad with people

Bit shy

Can nerd out with the best of them

Weak to peer pressure

Mortar (yes, really) "Fancy Light" (yes, really)

These three build Aris' future gun for funsies but enc up giving it to her because they can't do space battles and it's too unwieldy for most people. Aris is not most people.

She promptly blows the roof off the engineering hall.

The entire roof.

I call it a railgun, but it's really a high-strength energy weapon of undeniable power.

Anywho, Aris has her gun, so off the GDD goes back to their friendly neighborhood hackers to decrypt the G.Bible. Said hackers, thankfully a group of White Hats, helpfully inform them that decrypting this thing is only possible by using contraband from the sealed storage, meaning they need to break in, which will spawn a host of problems.

However, the hackers be hackers, for the are Veritas

Kagami Chihiro

Veritas vice president

Extremely competent hacker

Big sis to the others

Often hired as cybersecurity expert

Does not abide by sloppy security

Will kill you if your password is shit like "123456"

AR "Backdoor" (not that kind, you filthy animals)

Omagari Hare

Subsists off energy drink

Built her own support drones

Tends to do all-nighters

Socially awkward

AR "auto-aimer" (actually has an aimbot)

Otose Kotama

Loves to eavesdrop

Specializes in wiretapping

Would wiretap Schale if she could

Likes to listen to white noise

Loves the sound of Sensei's voice

"common sense? The fuck is that?"

Pistol "Echolink"

Konuri Maki

Hobby artist

Spray painter

Bit of a rebel

Minor mischievous streak

Loves to paint

Came up with the Veritas Tag

MG "Auto-Lacquer"

And those are the known collaborators with the GDD! They are about to do something very illegal, but Sensei is with them so it's fiiiine.

Except not really, because someone blabbed (not Kotori) and now the Spec Ops are waiting for them to come for the ominously dubbed "Black Mirror".

And to think this all started because they wanted to make a video game....

And now

A funnyman's recap of Blue Archive

Volume 2 Chapter 1

We begin by being summoned to a Game Development Department at Millennium Science Academy! That's right, we're going to be real gamers now! Of course, the GDD doesn't ask for Schale willy-nilly, as they have a good reason.

That reason being that their club is on the verge of being dissolved. Catastrophe! Not only do they only have 3 members instead of the usually required 4 (exceptions apply, but not this time), they also haven't put out anything worthwhile. Their only achievement being a game they made.

It got "Worst Game of the Year" award.

We got our work cut out for us...anyway, the cute and funny cast (I SINCERELY HOPE THAT THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I MAKE THAT JOKE BECAUSE I DIED A LITTLE INSIDE)

Saiba Momoi

Pure of heart dumb of ass

Mario, but loud

Catgirl gamer

Good at Games, but gets overshadowed

Nyoom cat

Writer

(not gonna look up real life weapons anymore no one gives a fuck)

Her gun is called "Unique Idea"

Saiba Midori

Yes they are twins

Luigi, but calm

Better at games than Momoi

The artist

Also dumb, but hides it way better

AR "Fresh Inspiration"

These two implore the Sensei to aid them in their gamer quest to find the artifact of power, so that they may make the greatest game of all. They seek the G.Bible, something that houses the secret to making a good game, authored by a legendary game developer.

To do that, Sensei must accompany them to the abandoned district, teeming with rogue machines and danger. Within the ruins they find...

A girl.

And the G.Bible, but mainly a girl who has no idea how to human. It's pretty fucking clear that she isn't, but nobody questions the existence of an android, and they got the thing, so what the fuck ever.

Momoi has to sacrifice her saves on her handheld to download the G.Bible, which end up becoming unable to be retrieved. Sadness was had, but educating a clearly confused android girl comes first. And how do they do it?

Why, in the best way of all: Video games! Specifically, a marathon of retro RPGs, which Sensei leaves them to because ain't no way someone wouldn't dome him for fucking around like that.

This marathon ends up creating the glorious creature that is

Tendou Aris

A baby

Daughteru

Speaks in RPG

Does her dailies and gets snacks

Very headpattable

See that thing on her back? That's a railgun

"Supernova - The Sword of Light"

It weighs 120kg (~265lbs)

Strong widdle babbi

Too pure

The legend of Aris the hero starts here, as she becomes the much needed fourth member of the GDD.

....fourth?

Hanaoka Yuzu

Head of the GDD

Programmer

4head

Shy as fuck

Has a locker as a safe space and napping spot

Cutie patootie

Literal god gamer

Grenade launcher "Nyan's Dash" (take a wild guess)

Thus, the fourth member comes out, just as it is stated that they have a slight issue: the bible is encrypted. Naturally, there's only one department in the school that is able to help them out, but not before visiting the Engineering department, where Aris actually gets her gun.

(ending it here BC it's been a longer day than expected and I'm sleepy)