#for me (28) while there's an element of 'where the fuck did the time go?'

[aromanticduck]

Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)

If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!

[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]

[scramble-crossing]

10, 18, 21 & 28 for the ask game w/ sho 👀

Describe the character in one sentance

Pathetic catboy with a god complex thinks he doesn't need friendship or human connections in the friendship and human connections game.

How do you think they were as a kid?

Oooh I'm glad you sent this one I have a whole fic in the works with baby Mina >:] He was an absolute hellraiser as a kid. He was energetic and stubborn but also surprisingly sensitive when he was very young, bawling his eyes out one minute and laughing like a little maniac the next. He was basically incapable of not giving everything 100%. He always struggled to get along with others, too. He was never a social animal. And while he did prefer to do his own thing, there were times when he felt lonely and longed for companionship. Generally I think that younger Mina behaved a lot like he did in Another Day, eccentric and headstrong and still fairly self-centered, but deep down all he really wanted was approval and for someone to understand him.

When do you think they were at their happiest?

This is a very interesting one because I think it's hard to tell what Mina's ever really feeling. He's all smiles in og twewy, but Joshua repeatedly implies throughout Week 2 that he's frustrated and lonely and I don't think he would do so if there wasn't some kernel of truth to it. Likewise he's a lot less openly "cheerful" through NEO, frowning or hiding his face in many of his sprites, but despite that I do think that his week spent with the Wicked Twisters was the happiest we ever got to see him. There he was, surrounded by people who looked up to and relied on him, who were excited to see him each day, if only because they needed his expertise. I think Sho eats up attention regardless of what kind it is and who it comes from, so looking after a group of nervous, uncertain teens really put him in his element. He likes being a leader! He likes praise and admiration! And because he can't get those things from his peer group since he's universally regarded as dangerous and off-putting (gee I wonder why), he seeks it out in teenagers who don't know better like any functioning, well-adjusted adult :)

Most unecessary thing they ever did

TRYING TO BEAT HIMSELF TO DEATH IN ANOTHER DAY HELLO?? WHAT WAS THAT

I will literally never get over that scene. The sheer shock of TWO MINAMIMOTOS?? followed up with the most Freudian bullshit I've ever seen in my life where Mina literally laughs and screams "I could do this ad infinitum!" as he attempts cross-dimensional self-homicide...dude you good?? On one hand I like it for further implying that Sho's prideful arrogance is a front covering up for a deeper dissatisfaction with himself that is so great he takes pleasure in hurting another version of himself (and can easily tie into how self-destructive so many of his behaviors are), but it also drives me mad for how I just. cannot discern what his motives were here beyond just fucking around and finding out I guess??? In a way it's the perfect Sho scene for being bizarre and hilarious on the surface while having kind of miserable implications if you read it a certain way.

Also slightly related: I love how he makes a big deal of saying "Now I can finally ditch you zeptograms" at the end of Week 1 before jumping to AD-verse and immediately going "Where are my zeptograms" he's so funny.

[voxmyriad]

I posted 4,932 times in 2022

19 posts created (0%)

4,913 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kd-heart

@thesummoningdark

@unpretty

@hixystix

@sashaforthewin

I tagged 4,867 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#what even are cats - 236 posts

#cal kestis - 230 posts

#anakin skywalker - 214 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 210 posts

#spoilers - 155 posts

#good stuff - 136 posts

#recovery - 131 posts

#fallen order - 114 posts

#darth vader - 109 posts

#kenobi show - 107 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#but i remember when there was a trend toward getting emails from a site that let you have whatever domain name you wanted and they all filte

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sith Obi-wan Kenobi is the most lethal of the enemies, not because he is powerful on the force like Sidius or Vader, but because he has charm, he makes allies, his control over his own power is precise, deadly precise, he has the Jedi training integrated on his body and (depending on how far in his life he is and how canon you want to count his life of absolute misery during his padawanship) years upon years of experience that not many in the galaxy can say that they have and much less survive out of it, he was set on a pad of Infinite Sadness, and he took it, made his feelings fester and grow until one day he decided that he was done, his Fall was a surprise to everyone but himself

I love this song See, THIS is why I like the Sith Obi-Wan AU idea. I think Obi-Wan has a lot of motivation not to fall, but I also think he has a lot of potential points in his life where he could if the wrong thing happened at the wrong time. And if he did, everyone would be fucked, because ALL THESE REASONS.

I love thinking about things like always-a-Sith!Obi-Wan as a general leading the Separatists, I've read a couple good fics like that, but I also like imagining that conversation between Obi-Wan and Dooku going very differently in Attack of the Clones. If Obi-Wan was just a little more tired, or frustrated, if Dooku had focused all his attention on his grandpadawan and taken the sympathetic tack instead of dangling (true) intel because he knew Obi-Wan would never believe it...I don't know, it's a fun what-if to consider.

7 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#4

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39321261

My Obi Wan is Cal’s father fic. I have two fics in the series so far 😊

Throws this at the Cal Kestis Kenobi crew!

10 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#3

Hiii I’m Obi-Anon!! About the Anakin god thingy is just because he is son of the Force but you are right is closer to the anti-Christ or straight up Eldrich anomaly lol

Honestly would love to see more fics or art with Anakin as an eldritch manifestation of the Force while he's a little kid, although neither Shmi nor Obi-Wan deserves him being all creepy.

It would be very funny though if his Force powers started manifesting really hard for a short time when he was a little kid. Floating a couple inches off the floor instead of walking until Shmi asks him to stop, things like that. Just doesn't mention this to Obi-Wan or any of the other Jedi because he assumes everyone goes through the "floating instead of walking" phase.

12 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

#2

I'm not even watching the tags, but the posts I've seen on my dash from the sudden Goncharov fandom seem to be encapsulating all the essential elements:

Posts doing deep-dive analyses into cinematography, costuming, characterization, music, and other aspects of this piece of forgotten cinema

Artistic gifsets and fanart and fics

The Ship Wars

This feels like if Christopher Guest had made a mockumentary about a Tumblr Movie Fandom.

14 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Cal Kestis is Obi-wan’s son, I just know it he was to be!! What other redhead is there that can look so similar to pawadan Obi?! Or is the lack of sleep finally catching up with me?!

Look

Look

"Cal Kestis is Obi-Wan's son" is my favorite Star War conspiracy theory. The timing works out perfectly if Obi-Wan had a delightful evening with a lovely woman on whatever planet he and Qui-Gon visited before Naboo. And no shade to those who love them but I really don't care much at all about Satine or Korkie or especially Korkie's parentage

At this point unless they disprove it in canon I'm just embracing the madness that is Cal Kestis Kenobi.

23 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sapphism-and-cyanide]

Also like I wanna post an excerpt from Where Parallels Cross, which was like... Supposed to be a short story and then it became 28 pages long lol so oof. But I kind of like this scene, and it's my blog, so I'm posting it and no one can tell me no. It's the section where Layla more or less "becomes" Inky, with Ethan trying and failing to be the glue in their family.

It’s Monsoon season. Years have gone by. Layla has assumed the position of ascending prinseka, and a foreign outlander is kept in her quarters. She arrived one night without a trace of a ship or a wreckage, and the two have been quiet about the logistics. Everyone suspects Layla and the foreigner know what truly transpired, but none dare to press.

Besides, that Nyx girl speaks in a way that makes many shiver, and only the young scholars of Phorgraza seem to wish to speak to her longer than a few brief moments. Her arrival did bring the gift of more advanced technology, however, and the girl’s contributions have been without compare.

Ethan’s only complaint is that no one can see the signs like he can.

A girl with some insane blessing of knowledge no one else seems to hold, and the attachment his sister has to her. He might have found it cute if he didn’t fear the worst.

This Nyx girl can make anything out of nothing. She can give Layla exactly what she’s been wishing for - a last and final escape route.

And it’s during one particularly bad storm that Ethan begins that trek to the Gronaanchy, just as he had countless times before. The climb is less tiring now, and as he gets ready to stand on the platform, he freezes.

Every Darcell since the dawn of time has been blessed by some celestial gift that allows them elemental prowess beyond what is deemed the norm. Even Ethan, flawed and human, discovered his attunement to the emotional flow of humans and the steady pulse of nature. Where the two abilities meet is where his fingerprint lies. Branches and trunks turn for him, and the roots beneath his feet spring at his command.

Layla’s twin discovered power in frost and night, condensing the two into a choking, misty poison that blots out both light and lives alike. Terrifying, to be sure. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when those abilities were finally harnessed.

But Layla still hadn’t found her power. Not until now, it seemed.

The platform was blinding. Pure, searing light encompassed Ethan’s little sister in a solid orb, all while flickering embers sparked and danced in the twisting, serrated breeze. A tropical storm, Ethan would know the signs from anywhere.

“Inky!” Ethan yelled, his voice barely audible amongst the winds. “We need to go home! It’s not safe up here!”

The orb wavered, and finally broke away to reveal Layla, shivering and gasping. When she turned to face him, her normally cool, grey eyes snarled and flashed with something a little less mortal.

Lightning. Red lightning, coiling and grasping from her eyes. Flames erupted from her left foot, and more of the scorching light sprang from her right.

And just as Ethan has about to yell to her to come with him, lightning struck.

The boom caused panic down below, and all at once, Ethan’s awareness was ripped from his body. The light, the sound… It was bellowing. Roaring. Rolling with turmoil and fueled by anger.

When he was able to return to his own mind, he went to reach out to Layla, and then choked when she screamed.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

And he didn’t. When he finally, finally could see her, he faltered.

The lightning didn’t just strike. The lightning struck Inky.

Despite the sudden onslaught of vicious, ripping rain, flames continued to roar from Inky’s hair and limbs. And the lightning from the strike… It flowed through her and coursed along her skin. Ethan could see it - every red coil shook and growled, the speed picking up as Inky proceeded to step away. The already charred platform groaned, but Inky paid it no mind.

Afterall, she wasn’t the one who didn’t have wings.

“Ethan, go home! You can’t help me! Just fucking go home!”

“I-Inky, I-”

“Go home!” Inky roared, the Vlucht queen in her rising up higher than he’s ever seen before.

And, for once, he let her be. He left, his own wounds torn and bleeding while Inky screeched. Another boom followed after he was far enough away, and as the elders and even Elizea and Valora rushed to the tree, Inky released the lightning within her.

Ethan heard it, of course, but soaking wet and empty in his own equally empty house, the strength could not phase him. Not when he was once again ripped from his body by the wounds he exhausted himself trying to fix.

The Gronaanchy, once a sacred place, died that day. Inky’s flames engulfed everything, even as the storm above raged on. Nothing could extinguish her flames. Burning plasma and angry embers engulfed the one place the two of them could drop at least some of their burdens, and they never returned to it.

Even in the future, with her wife’s tinkering, Inky and Ethan would never speak about what transpired on that day. For them, it was a blank page in their history, even as the murals and tapestries recorded the legend of the lost prinseka’s destruction for future generations.

For them, there were some things they could never understand about each other, and nothing blood could do could remedy that.

[rcksmith]

Venom — Five Hargreeves

You can find the 3 request here: anonymous 1, anonymous 2, anonymous 3.

Resume: Five and the Reader have hated each other for many years and nothing has ever changed that, but since Five has been spending so much time with Lila, the Reader are is extremely jealous. She always tries to ruin every time the two meet, but after a while, Five comes to understand where this anger that is bigger than usual comes from. And as much as the Reader is proud and would rather die than admit something, Five knows put she in her place.

Angst Prompts:

8. “Why can’t you just look at me for one god damn second!”  

10. “Don’t touch me!”

12. “why do you keep bringing it up?”

15. “don’t raise your fucking voice at me.’’

21. “i can’t deal with you right now.”  

29. “I don’t need, or want help, what I want is for you to get the fuck away from me.”

36. “you were my dream come true but turns out you’re a fucking nightmare too.” 

39. “i can’t have this argument with you again” “but-” “no. i’m done”. 

45. “Can you quit being emotional for five seconds?”

Smut Prompts: 

17. “After that little stunt? you’re not getting off that easy”

20. “Did I stutter? Do as you’re told!”

34. “You’d better watch your fucking mouth.”

42. “this isn’t what i had in mind when i yelled fuck you.”

51. “What did you just say?’’

72. “Fuck you.”

Fluff Prompts:

 4. “Sweetheart, you’re my entire world”

16. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass..” “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”,

21. “you’re not very intimidating.”

28. “You’re not going to leave me alone, are you?”  “Not.”

33. “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”

46. “it’s because i’m so attractive isn’t it?” “ i say this. and i cannot stress this enough. i find you completely repulsive.”,

59. “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

Couple: Five Hargreeves /Fem!Reader.

Warnings: arguing, swearing, mention of murder/blood, angst, really jealousy, anger issues, REALLY HEAVY/ANGER smut, NSFW, dirty talk, degradation, but fluff and soft in the end.

Word count: 10K

A/N: omg that's a LOT of prompts and this fic is BIG GOSH HJDBJHDV. I merged the request since they had the same prompts and the same plot, but I took care to added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down.

We not tolerate any pedophilia here !! I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter, MHA and others fandoms. 

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are closed. Love you ❤️

--------

Some people are born with a kind of savagery ingrained in their bloodstream. Something that makes you chase your goals with the tenacity and ferocity of a Lion. Something that pumps adrenaline into your veins faster than other people, almost like a powder keg always ready to explode, to destroy anything that stands between you and your purpose.

It was dangerous to have a temper ever so subtly balanced, constantly at peace armed just waiting for the first sign to unlock the gates of hell.

Five and you could very well be fitted into the profile of people who are born with this natural aggression. Five Hargreeves was no prince charming, loving and upstanding, and neither were you a maiden who needed to be saved by a man. In a fairy tale, you will be the fire-breathing dragon and Five would be the dark sorcerer. 

You two were the villains of many stories. And neither both of you give a damn about it.

That must be why the Commission the two of you to work together. Because two killing machines cause more slaughter together than they do separately. And since they joined you two, the numbers of cases solved with a one-shot accuracy of 38 have increased by a number that left all the bosses with their jaws dropped.

Nobody was a match for the duo that everyone started to call “Death and Chaos”. Nobody got out alive if not to live, a trail was aways wiped out if you two were ordered to disappear with the bodies. All the most difficult and obscure cases were passed to the you two, and there was not one that not be resolved.

But such success at work didn't guarantee a good relationship between Hargreeves and you. Two extremely similar geniuses could result in nothing less that anarchy.

Five's plans were always very precise but your inability to resolve anything other than not on the basis of improvisation was an annoyance none of you could bear. Hargreeves thought before acted and you acted before thought. And that always resulted in endless fights and loud screams with curses and insults.

“Can't you just shut your fucking mouth before I rip your tongue out?!” Five spat out the words, green eyes blazing in a fiery rage that was aimed completely at you.

It wasn't your fault that you two be with a car broken down in the middle of nowhere. Torrential rain cascading furiously outside, the cold ricocheting off the shuttered windows, the furious splash of water splashing onto the bodywork.

“Are you forgetting that you were the one who crashed the car into that pole and this must have damaged the engine, asshole?!'' You growled.

“Chasing the target you missed!”

You wanted to scream that he only escaped because Five interfered in your fight with the target and you ended up missing the shot, just hitting the man's shoulder who immediately started running. In that second, you looked at Hargreeves in shock and anger, and Five snapped indignantly at your ingratitude.

“I didn't need your fucking help! I don’t need, or want help, what I want is for you to get the fuck away from me.” Your voice was starting to rise in volume.

“The dude was triple your size, Y/N!” Five was extremely angry “If you ended up with any broken bones or dead, I would have to carry or bury your carcass, and I don't need your dirty, disgusting blood on my suit!''

“Fuck you!” You exploded, your gunpowder barrel destroying for the seventh time today. You were extremely exhausted, your body aching, your head throbbing. The moon found the peak in the sky and brought with it a heavy wave of weariness. There was no battery left in your system to deal with Five Fucking Hargreeves. "I can't deal with you right now!"

The gaze in his depths emerald green eyes changed from explosive annoyance to a visceral fury filled with hate and indignation.

“You know what?!” His voice was rough as sand in a wound. "You are right! I don't need to deal with you. I don't have to deal with all that fucking shit." He picked up the suitcase that was lying on the back seat of the car.“This shit is your fault so fix your mess youself! ”

Then, in a sour magic trick, the blue flash of his powers engulfed his enraged figure, vanishing any trace that would reveal the Five Hargreeves were once there. It took a second for you to convince yourself that he actually did it. But reality fell on your shoulders like a piano falling on top of someone in a cartoon.

“SON OF A BITCH.” You kicked the dashboard of the car, outrage coursing through your veins, the pain in your body crushing the muscles once more.

Your head fell into your blood-stained and rainwater hands, the light of the moon and stars being the only thing illuminating the darkness outside.  In that moment, your hatred for Five was as palpable as the bruises on your dirty skin, your anger being the only thing keeping you conscious and away from the abyss of exhaustion. It wasn't like you expected anything different from a guy like him, you'd do the same yourself if you had that kind of power, but that didn't assuage your hatred for the whole situation he put you in.

However, after a few minutes, the adrenaline began to subside and the tiredness increased. The sound of the rain outside was now just a sound in the background, the furious whistling of the wind was no more than a breath to your blurry consciousness, and the abyss of exhaustion engulfed you like a rattlesnake in its final pounce. You passed out, deeply.

Maybe it took a few minutes, or a few hours, but you didn't notice when a blue flash materialized beside you, or notice  the bright lights of the headlights of other cars advanced towards you.

Five Hargreeves hated you. With every cell in his body and whit every milliliter of warm blood coursing through his veins. He could be cruel, atrocious and selfish, but there was loyalty within his body scarred by so many fights. And as much as you had the ability to bring out the worst in him, Hargreeves wouldn't abandon a partner

There was a limit of anger and exasperation he could handle in a day, and you'd reached his quota. Five could have taken you with him when he disappeared in the flash to seek reinforcement from the Commission, but he was on edge and couldn't look at you anymore without a very strong feeling, that burn his throat from the inside out, come to the surface.

And, the truth was Hargreeves was afraid to find out what would happen if this mysterious feeling surfaced and took control, taking away all the self-control he'd built up his entire life.

There was something about you that scared him.

Something in the abyss of the depths of anger, hate and tantrum. There was something there, in the darkest corner of the dungeon of his soul,  something that always flared up whenever Five looked at you.

And he didn't want to find out what it was.

The seasons changing whit time. In the blink of an eye, winter was already autumn, the snow was replaced by heat and, just like flowers bloomed with spring, something in your dynamic with Five also bloomed with each season. The weeks ranig fast and the years passed even more faster. And, as much as the hatred of each other, the screams and the anger, were still very present factors in the coexistence between the two of you, your strange relationship established itself in a routine that perpetuated itself with each change of season.

The job required you to be together twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and this became more than just work. The coexistence forced by the missions for so long planted roots and bore fruit, always being with one person meant that there was no one else to talk to, spend time with, reveal secrets and... know like the back of your hand every alley of each other's souls.

There was no one else to talk to when a case stole the best of you, when killing a child was what made you cry in the car, with Five sitting next to you and his male hand resting gently on your back, in a gesture of solidarity.  

There was no one else to drink with when exhaustion washed over Five and his powers needed time to recharge. There was no one else to comment on sarcastic observations of situations that only the two of you lived in missions.

So the coexistence between two arch-enemies became the coexistence of two colleagues who knew each other very well, and passed on to two friends who understood how the other worked. Soon, it was no longer difficult to be in the same environment. In fact, whenever one of you had to do something separate, deep down in the soul you two felt like getting back to your normal routine soon, for to be with someone who understood how each of you two work out.

That's how more years went by, the routine now as solid as the mountains on the horizon. And this remained in that way until one day. Until that fateful day.

You don't really know how it happened. You don't know if this was something you've been feeling for a long time. It was hard to connect with emotions when your job was to kill without scruples. But in anyway, when your bullet pierced another skull, when you sat in the same seat, in the same car, and wiped the blood off your hands like you always had for so many years, with Five in the same driver's seat, something inside of you changed.

You didn't want that job anymore. And it hit you like a hot desert wind.

You no longer wanted to kill, torture, bury bodies at four in the morning, leave one slaughter only to go to another the next day.

There would always be a new target to scratch off the map.There would always be more hot blood to be wiped off your hands. Was this how your whole life would be summed up? Killing? At that point, after so many years, you couldn't remember why you got into this job. Maybe it had to do with the money, maybe it had to do with the anger and hatred that a horrible childhood had resulted in, but whatever it was, it no longer made sense to you.

"What's it?" Five's voice, as intense as hot coffee, snapped you out of your reverie. "You seem very lost in thought."

You were no longer surprised at how easily he could unravel you. You did the same thing with him too. At this stage of coexistence, it no longer made sense to lie and hide things from Five. Not only would he know you're lying, but he'd know how to get the truth out of you without even asking this time. And, most of all, you trust him.

"I'm thinking about retiring." What an ironic phrase for a 27 year old girl to say.

It was in that second that you lifted your attention in Five's direction, finding the wide, breathtaking green eyes staring at you. Something very intense and conflicted was thundering in that sea of emeralds. As if a gray storm had chased away all the sun and light from the ocean.

Are something that, as much as you tried and as much as you knew he for so many years, you didn't know how to unravel what it was. Without you realizing it, your heart was racing, your breathing was blocked and now your hands were no longer cleaning the blood from your fingers.

Five Hargreeves said nothing. He just turned toward the steering wheel, started the ignition, and set the car in motion, heading toward the commission once more. Normally, at this point of conviviality, it was almost routine for the two of you to talking post-mission, sarcastic and witty remarks on the way to the Commission.

But this time there was no one voice for the entire ride. Silence reigned like an omen, hanging heavy in the air like a gray and black funeral, charged with very deep emotions. The intensity was tangible and could have been cut with a dagger, but you were focused on keeping your eyes on the landscape in your window to see his fingers gripping the steering wheel, the white color already taking over his slender fingertips.

And Five Hargreeves was too focused on looking at the road to notice your shaky breathing. Not realizing how much force he was puttin on the steering wheel, how much his heart was quivering in a way he'd never felt before. Even though he'd already taken this same route to the Commission dozens of times, this time something tasted different. The air felt different. This is the end.

The clouds outside began to close in a obscure shade of gray. The noise of the wheels running along the road was the only sound that hovered inside the four doors, for him it was like a chorus that precedes the condemned man's path to the gallows. A funeral orchestra of ruin. Five can't say why but, in that moment, as the world outside exploded in the same funereal colors that were painting his soul, he remembered his father's words:  “Hold your breath and count to ten”.

In that very second, just as his father's hoarse, raspy voice evaporated into the air like mist in the sun, the clouds gave way to their weight, pouring a furious torrent of water into the world. The droplets fell onto the car like infinite marbles, and the color of the horizon became even darker. Maybe the color of the future too.       As the sky's appearance turned almost apocalyptic with each car's advance, Five found no motivation in the whole body to care, to care if the storm would knock down trees in its path, blow off the roofs of houses, become a tornado. He didn't care.

Let the sky fall.

Not a word was said when the car parked at the commission, not a word was said as each went to their apartment, and not a word was said as night fell and the rain grew heavier. It was like a wall had gone up between Five and you all over again. Like the same as years ago. But now loaded with more emotions, not just hate.

You couldn't tell how you were. Not whit what you was felling. Is been so long that you have a routine that you couldn't say how to live your life without Five. You didn't want to live life without him. That was the only certainty you had.

The next day, while you were in the commission's file room looking for the profile of a possible target your boss asked you for, the retirement request still forming in your brain, the noise of a familiar blue flash echoed beside you.

“Five!’’ You gasp in shock, your suit tie now feeling too tight. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be picking up the new briefcase in the construction sector?''

“Y/n.” Only this. Just the way your name left his red lips like an incantation, the key to your secrets. No matter how many years passed, the way he said your name always made you feel strange things. “Are you still going to retire?”

That caught you off guard. Almost as if the sky turned red. You didn't expect him to broach the subject. You knew the guy, maybe at most he would give you god with a pat on the back and slam the door behind you as soon as you left the commission.

“I…” you took a deeper breath, letting your shoulders slump. “Yes, I think so.”

How would you live if you never heard that voice say your name again?

Five was silent once more. This time, his gaze was lost somewhere in the room. The six-foot-tall perfectly straight stance, the body of a guy 28-year-old's body exuding that cologne that always made your breath miss somewhere. His hands were tucked into the bottom of his dress pants, so you didn't know his fingers were squeezing his palms tightly.

It was then that he lowered his eyes in your direction. That sea of green deeply staring into every corner of your soul. There were secrets in that look. Secrets you want him to tell you.

Something inside you snapped at that moment. An electric current invading your body from head to toe. You'd already done a lot of things in your life, many of them devastated you, but in that little second, you knew that, whatever he was going to tell you, this is gonna take your down.

You were afraid that Five could hear your heartbeat. Because you could hear.

But as much as Five was feeling his throat on fire, his hands itching and something screaming that he might die if he didn't do anything, he couldn't find the words to tell you what was on his soul. He didn't know how to say that he couldn't imagine days when he didn't get mad at you, nights when you didn't complain about the cold and how annoying he was.

Hargreeves would rather you yell at him than never hear your voice again. You were a drug that, after so many years, he couldn't let go.

It was inconceivable to drive that car if you weren't in the passenger seat. He always knew there was  the possibility for you to leave this life. Leave that job. Leave him. But the truth was he wasn't ready for that to happen. Maybe he never was.

Five didn't know how to tell that he spent the night awake doing math equations to find the coordinates to get back to his reality. Not for him. But because…maybe, just maybe, if he showed you a new adventure, you'd agree to go with him.

Stay a few more years by his side. Maybe enough years until when you realize that you're already old and that you can't remember a life when the two of you weren't together.

Hargreeves would never make you stay in a job you were unhappy in, let alone one that requires killing. But he could give you a new offer. And maybe he could mask the need to have you on his side with the excuse that he would be leaving anyway. And if he wasn't by your side too, you could end up dead in any ditch, and he wouldn't soil his suit with your blood carrying your body or spend time going to your funeral.

When Five finally managed to tell you that he was leaving and that you could go with him - in a very not a eloquent way, that didn't show any romantic connotation or intentions at all - he was surprised when you accepted.

You didn't show any sentimentality either, saying that even if the downside of the situation was having to to deal with him any longer, you couldn't deny one adventure. Even more if it meant becoming a rebel and turning your back on the commission in a very disreputable way, since you couldn't ask for retirement now that Five was leaving tomorrow.

Hargreeves knew you liked reckless and orchestrated things right away, and maybe he was also counting on that motivating you to agree to go with him.

“it’s because i’m so attractive isn’t it?” you barked at him.

"I say this. And i cannot stress this enough. i find you completely repulsive."

That moment in the file room was one of the few situations where the two of you were soft on each other. And as soon as the chance of separation didn't hover over yours heads, the fights, anger and irritation returned with overwhelming force. Maybe because, in a very strange way, that was the normal for the two of you. That was you two comfort zone.

And that's how things unfolded. That's how you followed Five through dimensions, through his family dramas, through the second apocalypse. And that's how you ended up here, arms folded on the  Elliot´s couch, which you've recently begun to think is stupid, imprisoned in 1963 - a stupid time when it really always pissed you off more than usual. - Having to face Lila's stupid face because she was sitting on the other stupid couch in front of you

It didn't help that stupid Five was too busy explaining his plan to Lila one more time.

What a fucking stupid situation.

You don't know why you were in such a bad mood. And you've always been known to have an explosive personality, so being angrier than usual meant you was unbearable now.

Everything in your temper started to get worse the second Five returned to Morty's television with Diego and Lila. His brother didn't bother you, in fact you even found him pleasant. What got on your nerves was that girl who made you want to commit a murder all over again. Her voice irritated you, her big eyes made you want to break something, and the way she paid so much attention to Five, as if he were an heady snake enchanted by a skilled sorcerer, awakened a destructive sense you thought you didn't have more.

This situation was so fucking ridiculous. For God's sake, you were a grown woman. Extremely dangerous, categorized as the Commission's top assassin. How the hell were you in such a childish position? Seething whenever that girl silently looked at Five.

God, you wanted to gouge out those eyes.

It didn't help that she looked like an princess. And, as much as you look at yourself and brag about having boobs so much bigger than hers, she is very pretty and you can't help but be annoyed that you're giving vent to the female rivalry you've always hated.

What the fucking damn hell. You hated that girl.

"But what if your guys can't find your dad or if he doesn't help solve this crazy timeline you just said?" Her voice asking the same question again was the trigger.

“Can't you think for yourself or do you just like to have everything in hand?” You said, arms crossed, one leg on top of the other and the look on fire.

Five looked at you. “It’s a valid question.”

Oh he wouldn't defend her.

“For those who don’t have half a brain, that’s for sure.”

Now you had his full attention. “I've gotten used to your damn bad mood, but you're an extremely pain in the ass these days. Have you ever tried passion fruit juice?"

“Have you tried to go fuck yourself?” You retorted.

“Sure would be better than fucking you”

“I don’t know, Five, that friend of yours on the Commission seemed to like it a lot”

You can tell when his eyes were bloodshot with liquid anger, and it got even worse when Diego tried to stifle his laughter. As much as you were bluffing, Five didn't know that, and that's why things was so more interesting.

“Can you quit being emotional for five seconds? and stop to disturb my fucking explanation?”

Oh you who was in his way? Not the dumb girl in front of him? If he was so stupid that he realized that girl was wanting his attention, you weren't going to be like a fucking audience watching that.

“Fuck you.” You got up from the couch, grabbing your jacket from the chair and walking past Elliot as he came back with some snacks.

You slammed the door behind you, leaving four people silent in the room.

“Is the pretty girl leaving already?” Elliot asked in all his innocence, his pure intention just an annoyance to Five more.

The green-eyed Hargreeves stood up, huffing a curse as he disappeared in the blue flash, going to look for you. He found coming down the last flight of stairs, stopping on a step below you.

“What the fuck was that?!”

"What?!"

"Don't play dumb whit me, you know I'm referring to that little tantrum scene upstairs!"

“I didn't throw a tantrum, your asshole! Only that girl's stupidity was driving me crazy!'' You gestured with your hands, and when he went to retort you cut him off immediately "You feel the same as I know! I worked for years by your side, I've seen you yelling at someone for less than what she were doing."

“And what the fuck does it matter now?! I don't have TIME to deal with her mistakes if she don't understand the fucking plan. This time it's not targets or a stupid mission at stake, Y/N, it's the fucking end of the world! So if I have to answer a stupid question twice just to avoid a catastrophe, I'm fucking fine with that!''

Was an understatement to say that this time your entire body burned with rage. Your eyes fluttered slightly in an uncontrollable tic that came whenever you were extremely angry. And Five was surprised by the magnitude of your reaction. Of course he knew you had a quick temper, he had the same thing himself, but it wasn't normal for you to get so annoyed over some girl's questions.

“Don't raise your fucking voice at me! I'm not that girl upstairs who will be silent and listening everything you have to say!"

“Why do you keep bringing it up? You never did it anyway! If I remember correctly, the last few years have been full of fights because you don't listen to me!" His voice didn't lower, but you expected it to happen anyway. “If only you were like her and listened to me, things would be so much easier!”

That was like a slap. Burning, right in the center of the cheek, the  type that burns from the inside out. And Five realized he'd gone to far.

Anger easily turned to hate in your eyes, and something inside of you exploded into a mixture of hurt, rancor and sadness. Who was he thinking he was?! Did he think he was going to say any shit to you and you'd be quiet like a dog?! You didn't need him, you didn't need him in your timeline, and you didn't need him in this one either.

"So why don't you go make plans with your new toy and stay the fuck away from me?!" You cleared space between his body and the wall to pass, but the male hand gripped your wrist with the same precision he used to hold a gun.

‘Y/n, i…”

“Don't touch me! Fuck!” You pulled hard on your wrist, releasing any skin contact that connects the two of you. “If you value someone as much as she does, why don't you go there and enjoy it?! Do you think I need to stay here?! Whit you?! Seeing that damn scene?!'' You slashed with the same venom he poured on you, both blinded by rage. “I don't fucking need you! I got by just fine before you came along and I'll get by without you!"

"For God's sake! You know that's not what fucking I meant!" The glint of regret on the green sea gave way once more to angry waves. “And you can stop acting like you don't want to be here, because we both know you came here of your own free will fuck! I swear to god sometimes you are worse than any drama my brothers cause, i can barely think when you have your explosions!"

“You just go back upstairs damn! What the hell are you doing here then?!” You made a rude gesture with your hand to indicate upstairs. “Go back to your new toy!”

“ I swear to god you were my dream come true but turns out you’re a fucking nightmare too! I can't believe I actually asked you to come with me! I should have let you have your fucking retirement.”

Your air is gone. And if you had been slapped before, that was a punch in the stomach. “You're not worth my time, Hargreeves.” Was the only thing you managed to say, because the burning in your eyes was starting to be impossible to contain.

“Y/n…''

"No" Your voice was filled with a seriousness that made you shiver. “I can’t have this argument with you again”

"but-"

"No. i'm done."

You walked the rest of the steps down the stairs in a rage, swearing you'd kill that son of a bitch if he came after you one more time. There was a limit to your patience, and you'd already maxed out that day. But somehow, deep down, you knew he wouldn't come back.

You knew him too well to know that, and he knew you too well to know when you'd really reached the edge.

Neither of you two knew how this situation got this far. Nor at what moment did the normal of you two dynamics pass into the realm of real anger and discussion. The words came out as quickly as two gunpowder bombs explode on contact with the fire.

But, whether in hate or love, Five Hargreeves cared about you. Even knowing that you killed countless really dangerous figures, whole groups of big men, he couldn't help but feel a huge discomfort for you walking the streets alone at night, even more so in the year 1963. A time full of homophobia, machismo, racism, persecution and oppression. Full of shitty people with even more shitty principles who were willing to get into a fight if they didn't have their opinions accepted, and you weren't the type to shut up.

Not to mention the end of the world hitting the 10-day hourglass.

So when three days had passed and he hadn't heard from you, Five's feelings and worries spoke louder than any resentment or rancor over some stupid fight.

That was always one of the beauties of his strange relationship with you. It didn't matter how bad each other's tempers were, how shitty a situation or a fight. You two was always accepted by each other. Without requiring changes. You accepted his mood and he accepted yours. Nobody demanded anything, because nobody saw fault with each other. That was who you  two were, and the truth was that you loved and accepted each other in any form. Fights have always been normal, even more so with the two of you, but no one has ever demanded that one change his essence, be more sympathetic or less sarcastic.

Five Hargreeves didn't have time to take care of any situation Lila would ruin if she didn't understand the plan, but he did have time to look for you from corner to corner of that town. It doesn't matter how many days it took. In his weird way, Five put you in a very different kind of priority than anything he'd ever been through in his life. Family, work, obligations.

It wasn't the first time he'd dropped everything to go after you. And he prayed it wouldn't be the last.

But ,somehow this situation felt different. The air looked the same way in the car that day you said you were going to retire. That realization raised the hairs on the back of his neck.

In the end, was a gift from some deity or fate, Five didn't take long to find you. In a hotel. A long way from where Elliot's house was. He didn't even have to ask which room you were in.

You always picked number five, ironically.

A blue flash flashed inside your room, materializing the man you'd been thinking about so much the last few days.

'Five!' Your heart leapt in  your chest, your hands gripping the towel in front of your naked bodie.

To you, it seemed more like a diabolical trick of fate.

If honesty was needed at this point, you'd have to confirm that you were getting ready to find Five. The emotions inside you being clouded by the oppressive weight of missing. In those three days, you remembered why you agreed to follow Five. Why did you give up retirement. Why you became a defector.

Because it was no longer possible to live without him.

And that made you even more miserable and unhappy. Because, for the first time, you were truly sorry for all the horrible things you'd said to him. Because most of what you said was a lie.

You regretted freaking out like that just because was jealous. Jealous that that girl was looking at him with… with the same look you looked at him. And if you need to be honest one more time, you were terrified of him looking at her the same way —or rather— that he looked at you.

Of course  all that didn't justify your freak out, and as much as you'd never been so jealous before in so many years, it still wasn't something to accept. But regardless of what part of you is regretting, things wouldn't be decided if he wasn't regretting the things he said too.

Five Hargreeves liked to think he was always ready for anything. For any situation. But nothing could have prepared him for the way relief and missing exploded through his shoulders the second he laid eyes on you. He had forgotten how your image was the only thing that brought him peace. Hargreeves said nothing as he closed the distance between the two of you, letting the relief in his eyes say the words he couldn't say.

The masculine arms, chilled by the cold out side, enfolded you in an urgent hug. Desperate, sloppy. The type that tightens rather than comforts. Five held you like you were going to disappear. And maybe the fear of losing you was still hovering in his head since you announced your retirement.

"I don't regret anything involving you." It was the only thing his voice, rough as crushed coffee beans, could manage to say. His nose sunk into your wet hair, that smelled like lavender, happiness and home.

The chaos in his mind made him not realize the state you were in. The heat of the hot water on your skin, your hands still holding the towel or else you'd end up naked. But even if that cloth obstructed your actions, there was nothing to stop your words.

"It was a lie when I said I didn't need you"

His elegant face, with strands of midnight black falling lightly through his brows, came out of hiding to look into your eyes. Those deep green irises that made you forget your own name, but you would never forget his name.

This time, there was something new in the green expanse, something…overwhelming. Hot, needy, dangerous. There was a heat inside his eyes that you could feel on your skin. Like an omen. here was something different in the air in that second. Some unspoken confession, some invisible boundary crossed. Something that made the atmosphere more muffled, the breathing heavier.

It had been so many years that something hungry had been lurking, like a demon in the dark, at the very core of both of your souls. The same visceral thing Five always felt every time he looked at you. And that over the years that thing only become more hungry, anxious, selfish and angry.

There were days when Five wondered if could touch your skin gently, lovingly. Because that sensation was gaining a lot of space in his body and now, if he touched you, he didn't know if he wouldn't devour you aggressively instead of tasting you masterfully.

Staying away has always been the best option. Especially when you irritated Five to the point where he wanted to punish you in a variety of different ways and positions. Shut your mouth in many ways.

But this time, instead of controlling the leering eyes in your direction, nothing stopped Five from looking down your nearly naked body, devouring every line that existed in you, every drop of water that marked your hot skin. He always knew you were a temptation to his sanity. Your body always made him want to teach you different lessons than fighting and arguin.

He blew it out through his nose, hot, heavy, full of troubled emotions, and that air hit his steam-moistened lips.

There's always been an unspoken air between the two of you, an unspoken mutual lust, almost as if you two've spent all those years playing cat and mouse. Seeing who is won first.

Hargreeves wanna touch you so fucking much that itched his bones.

"You are so quiet." You whispered, that low, devilish voice that always made him bite his teeth. " What you thinking?"

It was always so wrong. So tempting. You were his partner. His enemy.

"I can scare you if I talk."

It sent a shiver down your spine and spread between your legs, making your thighs warm and the air more heavier.

“Try me.” You have decided to break a line that has long existed between you. "I don't scare easily."

Five was tired of your smart mouth. Your biting answers, your wit, and your constant need to always act like a brat. You'd been teasing him for years, pushing him to the edge, to the end of the parapet. And he's been imagining a thousand different ways to enforce control over you for years.

He still felt himself holding onto something. Perhaps on the same thread of sanity he'd been holding onto for so many years, which was growing thinner, more fragile.

But it was at that exact moment that you smiled.

Not the same smile you gave so often. Not an ironic, happy, mocking, or wistful.

It was a fiery smile, full of hellfire. A smile that made your features darken, your lips more sinful, and lust could be seen burning like a blazing fire in the world of your eyes.

At that moment, the wire snapped.

Hargreeves took your chin between his fingers in a tight grip, lifting your gaze until met his appositely. He brought your lips to his, with a hunter's slowness.

“I wanna to break you.” His words blew into your parted mouth, like cigarette smoke. “I wanna to hurt you. I wanna to hear my name from your fucking mouth. In screams so loud the neighbors will wonder if you're okay."

The only sound in the room was your intense heartbeat. You could no longer tell if you were still breathing. But you can said that the bedroom light has dimmed to a sultry, warm red.

Your lips trembled in a silent plea to be kissed. Tamed, broken.

“I wanna fuck you.” Five pulled you more closer to him, the grip on your chin still tight as iron. “but if i do it, i'm gonna kill you.”

It was at that moment that your hands turned to jelly, the towel dropping to the floor, the heat in your body exploding like fireworks. You could feel the arousal oozing from your pussy, staining inner thighs. Five growled loudly as he lowered his eyes, capturing your big boobs,your hard, prickly nipples for him. His gaze darted to your tiny waist, and stopped at the wetness that pooled at the tops of your thighs.

“Are you dripping already?” He returned his attention to your eyes, his body coming closer until the material of his shirt prickled your hot skin. “Just imagining how aggressively I can fuck you?”

His grip on your chin tightened, and you couldn't take your eyes off him, even as one of his hands went to your left breast, squeezing the flesh with a force that would have left the imprint of his fingers.

“I won't be gentle with you. “He warned. "Not when you've been teasing me for so many years, not when I've fucked so many whores thinking about fucking you."

You moaned this time. "I dont care."

“How are you behaving.” Five scoffed, the hot flesh of his lips brushing yours. “Did it take a fucking girl to flirt with me for you to be so obedient?”

He saw the lust mix with the anger in yours eyes. Eyes that aways drove him insane.

“What did you just say? Did you know then you motherfucker.”

“Of course, i not stupid.” He smirked mockingly.

“Then why the hell…”

“Because I wanted to see you confess.”

Hargreeves kissed you. Deeply. The kind of kiss a man shouldn't give a woman. The kind that ravages yours every thought, that annihilates all notions of pleasure, of desire, of lust. Five didn't kiss you, he stole your soul, swallowed your reasoning, nailed his name to your chest. Everything in the room exploded in shades of red, crimson. In muffled sensations, broken moans, heavy breaths.

Suddenly, Five's hands were all over the place. Exploring, squeezing, marking as property. He devoured you. And you wanted to be devoured.

“F-five” you whimpered as he slapped your ass, climbing onto your back in territorial grips.

"I'm always so damn busy dealing with you, lusting you, arguing with you, for to care about some girl's flirtation." His sharp teeth nibbled your bottom lip, both breaths heavy. “I’ve waited for this moment for a fucking long time.”

Your hands went to the back of his neck, squeezing the blacks hair, shutting his mouth with a kiss that was so desperate it was pitiful. Begging him to claim you, mark you, break you. You were offering everything to Five on a golden platter. Your body, your heart, your soul. Every bit of what it meant to be you. And he would welcome everything.

Hargreeves parted yours lips, a thread of hot saliva connecting the two of you for a second before disappearing into the void, only for him to plunge his mouth into yours breasts. His tongue licking each piece of flesh, sucking on the hardened nipple, moving on to the next and leaving a trail of bites and dark hickeys. Trademarks, property signs.

Five could no longer control himself. He lowered his hands to your legs, hooking and pulling you up. Your thighs hugged his waist, pulling him as close as possible. The room was filled with moans, gasps and growls, sounds that sent waves of arousal to your pussy and made your core throb with more and more desperation.

He turned you around in the bedroom, refusing to lift his face from your breasts even as he headed toward the bed, sucking the battered nipple like it was a fucking good toy. You mind whirled, clouded by sensations you never thought possible, sending any other priority into space.

Five slapped your back on the soft mattress, disconnecting his mouth from you and taking a full look at your entire body. His breathing was loud and aggressive, his clothes rumpled and his dark hair a complete mess. You weren't intimidated by his gaze in your naked body. In fact, you felt powerful like a goddess, sensual like a sin. And Five bit his lip at this, his arousal increasing aggressively.

"You're a fucking tease, you know that?" He slammed his open palm against the side of your thigh, taking the time to rip off his suit, shirt, and tie until he reconnected yours lips in an even fiercer kiss.

“I want you to fuck me.” Your voice came out as a broken whimper, a mixture of pleading, crying, and groaning.

Five Hargreeves were too much for your nervous system.

“Oh you poor thing” He scoffed, analyzing your hair. “Do you so badly need my cock like that?”

You squirmed on the bed, his hot body pressed against yours, his very masculine chest pressed to your breasts full of marks, hickeys and spiky spittle. Five had barely touched you and you were already a crying mess.

“Y-yes” you cried as he shifted his pelvis into yours, just a millimeter, a taste of his size. "please. I ne-need you to fuck me so badly!”

“You want that i fuck you stupid?” over a busy pelvis, hands having squeezing everywhere.

“Ye-yes!”

Hargreeves took the time to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants. But this time, when he came back to you, he didn't bring his lips to yours.

“Open your fucking mouth.”

He ordered. And as soon as you did the ordering, Five tucked the belt into your mouth, making sure the material stood in horizontal between yours teeth, like a gag.

"If that damn thing falls out of your mouth while I fuck you, I swear I'll stop in the same fucking second."

You ground your teeth hard against the leather, your eyes flecked with tears of agony and anticipation, your body shifting impatiently. Five aggressively opened yours knees, growling loudly when he saw your soaking pussy, the sound only making your core throb even more.

“I want to eat you so bad. “He wouldn't look into your eyes. "But I need to get inside you today."

This time the green irises, now completely dark, looked deep into yours eyes. Making sure  left a tattoo of his name on your soul. “The only thing you'll feel in that dirty pussy is my cock. After so many years of teasing, you don't deserve my fingers or my mouth to prepare you today.”

He leaned under you once more, wrapping his arm around your waist and squeezing you tightly, the other hand went to his own cock, using the red, swollen head and leaking, in yours weeping lips.

You let out a loud groan, throwing your head back and grinding your hips against his cock.

“I know, little thing. You really need me to fuck you stupid” He teased, the cretin, establishing his eternal dominance in you. Letting out all the frustration of years.

Five raised her eyes to yours, his face completely serious and contorted from the Herculean effort he was making not to get into you.

“Do you know how much I've been imagining this?” He breathed against you “Wanting to see you like this, completely desperate and silent and perfect for me. A dirty fucking mess just because you want my cock so badly.”

A plea came from yours lips, yours hands digging their nails into his toned, ample back, scarred from struggles and missions that took work. Marks that you were together he won each one.

“You better tighten that belt tight.” his mouth lowered to your ear "Because I'm going to break you."

Then Hargreeves entered you. Completely. In one move. Making you swallow every inch of him, drooling around his fat cock.                 Just like he warned you before, you loud his name. Your head thrown back,  nails digging into his broad shoulders, your legs too wobbly to wrap around his waist. Five moan in a very high volume, bringing his mouth to your shoulder to discount the insane pleasure that he was feeling, biting you so hard it might make you scar. But the only thing you could think of was that he was too thick, too fat, filling every space in you and still fighting for more.

Hargreeves began to fuck you at an aggressive, raw, savage, primal. He fucked you with the hunger of a beast, of an enraged man. With each thrust, his head slammed deeper into you, as if trying to carve his own way, demanding more.

Screams, groans and the raw sounds of bodies colliding invaded the room, perhaps the entire floor. You tightened the belt like your life depended on it, and Five fucked you like the bottom of you could contain the absorption for all his sins. He tightened his arm around you, using his free hand to find balance on the mattress and momentum to increase the force of the thrusts even more. Beating inside you with force, hunger and urgency. It was as if Five wanted to devour you.

He connected his lips to yours, prevented from fully kissing only because of the belt. But that didn't stop Five from pulling his lips even more, mumbling against your mouth, cursing that you had such damn fucking good a pussy, who sucked he so desperately. With each degradation the knot inside you grew bigger, your mind became more cloudy, your reason was lost, and the only thing you could feel was his cock thrusting hard.

“Oh, are you going to cum yet?” He scoffed cruelly, only for his mocking tone to fade and give way to a serious, aggressive, bossy intonation.“You. fucking. not.”

That was enough to snap you out of your trance, looking at him in a mixture of bewilderment, desperation and pleasure. You cried a completely messed up please, your breasts bouncing with the force he buried his cock deep into you.

“Fucking not” Five growled once more. “After that little stunt? you're not getting off that easy”

You closed your eyes in utter annoyance, the moans still coming out as pathetic whimpers, the pussy drooling and forming a fat white ring around his cock, his swollen head always hitting just the right spot.

“Hold the belt tighter.” He ordered, bringing your body up with his arm closer to him, pulling her waist back toward him, biting his teeth with a force he barely knew he had.

You made a muttering that sounded like mockery, and he knew you too well to not have to hear a phase clearly to know what you meant. Always a brat who gets annoyed when you doesn't get what you wants. But this time, you'd given Five free rein to take out his annoyance on you. And he would use that.

His free palm landed on your left cheek in a smacking slap. You let out a loud groan, your hands going up his arms, holding on to Five like a mooring at sea.

“You'd better watch your fucking mouth. Did I Stutter? Do as you’re told!”

You obeyed without hesitation. Gritting yours teeth into the now completely ruined leather with bites and drool. It was getting harder and harder to hold the orgasm, and Five's slap only served as fuel to take you to the edge of pleasure, of delirium.

You had lusted after that for so many years, dreamed of him fucking you with the aggression you knew he had.

Five rewarded your obedience with his mouth returning to your nipple, sucking on the battered nipple and drawing a cry of over-stimulation from you.

"You can cum now."

He allowed, his own movements becoming sloppy, his moans and gasps getting louder. He wasn't going to last that long anymore, the insane pleasure crushing whatever train of thought he had, sending any phrase to hell. The moment Five felt your walls tighten absurdly around his cock, sending maddening waves through his nervous system, he cum with you, unable to stop it any longer. Hargreeves came in long, hot jets, filling every inch of you. The fat head sunk perfectly into your cervix, the sperm spurting right at the entrance to your uterus. The sensation made you feel extremely full, stuffed and totally satisfied.

Five gave you a few minutes to come down from the climax, removing the belt from your mouth, now with tender, loving touches.

"You did so well, babe." He praised you, his thumb brushing your cheek, yours eyes barely able to stay open.

You don't remember very well the seconds that passed, but you felt like Five gave you another hot bath, tucked you into his shirt and lay down beside you on the bed. Bringing your body close to his, massaging your neck with his thumb.

“That was wild” You finally felt more refreshed to speak again.

Five pulling you closer. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you."

"I liked." You whispered, your face buried in his warm, strong chest that made you feel like nothing bad could get you there. Not even the apocalypse. “Of course this isn’t what I had in mind when I yelled fuck you that day.”

This time his laugh was loud, half hoarse and. Your sense of humor was always a delight to Five, you always found the weirdest things to say and the weirdest comments, and he loved it. The truth was, you were an aphrodisiac for Five Hargreeves.

“Are you still mad at me?” your head didn't leave his chest.

"I've never really been." Five wrapped his arms around you, pulling the blanket closer to you, snuggling you. “Sweetheart, you’re my entire world”

You pressing yourself closer to him.

"I shouldn't have said those things to you." His voice was soft and loving and caring. "I'm really sorry."

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass…” your voice whispered softly, muffled by his chest.

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!”

You both laughed, hugging each other even more. Five lowered his mouth to your forehead, placing a soft kiss on your warm skin.

"Can I tell you a secret?" you let go, and Five agreed.

“You're not very intimidating. Even when was screaming. It's actually quite funny.”

“Oh God, what am I going to do with you, little thing?” He gently pulled your head out of hiding, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“Bear me. Just like I've put up with you for years. Cute."

“Are you flirting with me?” Hargreeves eyed you suspiciously.

“You noticed finally?”

You two lost yourself in laughter. And Five whispered an 'I love you too' into your ear before the two of you fell into a deep sleep.

[lambourngb]

Day 2: AU get me out of here - places to go when canon is complicated

It’s Day 2 for @roswellnewmexicocreate, time to celebrate those stories that I turn to when I can’t deal with canon, or when I don’t have the emotional energy to untangle all the emotions I have for what’s going on in canon. Alternative universes, the safe harbor for us. Below are a mix of rewrites of canon, remixes of canon, or out right not even set in Roswell- to fill every type distance you want from canon- from near to far.

and the howl of the desert carries me home by @christchex​/ @michaels-blackhat​ (4,334) Alex runs into the desert to escape from his father with his guitar clutched to his chest. He plans to spend one last night playing before his father destroys it. Instead, he meets a cute boy with flowers in his curly hair and a lizard on his shoulder. He exchanges a song for a smile.

why i like it: I love everything about this story. Michael is totally a disney princess, and what a lovely way to save him from foster homes, but have him run away to the desert and use his alien powers to build his own little protective world. Looping in Nora’s plant powers like that, giving Michael a little animal friend, I love it all, but the show stealer is Alex Manes, playing music to coax the mystery boy out. It’s just incredibly soft.

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Heartbeat series by @adiwriting ​ (133,000 - in progress) During the lost decade, Alex gets Michael pregnant and Michael doesn't see or hear from him again for the next four and a half years. When Alex comes back to town, he discovers he has a daughter with Michael and they all have to figure out how to be a family.

why i like it: it has it all, installments with angst, installments with fluff, I can find whatever mood I am in by just pouring over this incredible series. I really don’t even like mpreg, but in RNM, with aliens it seems a little more probable to me and bless Britt, she goes light on the details but heavy on the kid aspect of it. I absolutely love Alex in this story, he’s richly characterized as a man who is trying hard while wandering unfamiliar territory like aliens, like being a dad, like being Michael’s boyfriend, and he doesn’t always get it right, but he’s loved regardless.

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tonight we are young @skinsharpenedteeth (8,137) Alex and Michael ditch the Evans' New Years Eve party to find their own fun and Alex gets his New Years kiss...(the underage tag is because they're both 17 in this.)

why i like it: I’m a sucker for teen!Malex, especially stories that take place before the shed. I love this little AU where Alex is thinking about making a move, but hasn’t yet. They are both adorable nervous babies, this feels very much how a softer teen!Malex first time would go. Perfectly characterized here, you can just feel the hopeful vibes they have at 17. I like to believe nothing bad ever happens to them again.

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you shift on a gear (it’s been a long year) by @backinmybodymp3 (28, 362) “Good morning,” Michael says. “What the hell did you do?” Alex asks, exasperated. (or: There were times, in some of the lower moments of the past however-many-days it’s been, where Michael had thought about what it might’ve been like to share this time loop with someone. He never imagined— well, he never imagined it’d be Alex.)

why i like it: I love time-loop stories! And this is just superb. The friendship dynamics of everyone involved, the Liz/Max wedding, Michael being a good brother, Michael trying so hard to keep this bullshit from dragging Alex in and then Alex being his usual reckless self when it comes to Michael, I absolutely dig this canon-divergent au. you can feel how much the author cares about everyone on the show in this story, and they really nail the Malex dynamic. This story came along just as season 3 did and it’s a true antidote to the malex drought on screen.

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the library by @arielana (9,657)  Alex had stopped too far away to hear exactly what they were saying, but their voices did carry over to where he was standing. The guy’s drawl had a melody to it that was vaguely familiar, but much deeper than the voice it reminded Alex of. God, that and the hair really brought some memories back.  Just as Alex told himself to stop secretly staring like a creep and walk over there, he turned slightly so that Alex got a glimpse of the side of his face.  Fuck!  Fuck, fuck, fuck! Twelve years ago Alex left Roswell to join the Air Force, nursing a broken heart and promising to never return. When work brings him back to New Mexico he runs into someone he’d been sure he’d never see again.

why i like it: the first kiss in the UFO emporium was groundbreaking, but I have to admit, I love stories that explore the almost-happened, where Malex reconnect as adults without the shadow of Jesse’s attack. I love how sharp Alex is in this story, he has all these walls as an adult built from that first rejection, but then he’s so completely unprepared to reconnect with Michael again. The clownery in this story by both of them is perfect! I also totally love Forrest as a gay best friend for Alex, trying to wingman Alex, that cracked me up.

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stellar light based life by @jocarthage (30,651) It’s not a memory if it’s something you see every day. It’s a trigger and it’s not one Alex wants to ever let go of.Alex saw Michael disappear into a blinding blue light, soft 17-year-old body pulled back into some kind of impossible vortex -- one hand, outstretched.

why i like it: another submission from 2020 RNM Big Bang, this story just wrecked me. I can’t even really put into words about how it hooked me and basically lives in my head now to the point I often mumble the first line to myself. Anyway, this AU takes a right turn at the shed attack, and goes full force scifi and tragic separation, I love it. In so many ways it reshapes Alex’s life but the core of who he is never changes, there’s so many great science geekery details about Michael’s planet and the astronaut journey that Alex takes, plus SANDERS... anyway, this is a fandom classic for me.

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Crossed Wires by @beautifulcheat, @ladynox (15,351) Michael's been kicked off more than one Starfleet posting. So when he learned he was reassigned to the USS Roswell, he decided that he would keep his head down and behave. This decision is immediately thwarted when he meets her hot Vulcan captain.This might be the first time Michael got kicked off a posting for flirting with a captain.

why i like it: Star Trek AU? I’m pretty easy. Seeing elements of Kirk and Spock’s tragic backstory blended into genius mechanic Michael Guerin and ice prince Alex Manes was amazing. I love how it’s serving with his family that brings Michael to the Enterprise, his bond with Max and Isobel was chef’s kiss good. The blend of Michael’s powers and Alex’s biology - I loved the balance even if it came with its own misunderstandings, but hey, this time it was cultural! lol

***

I’m still here by @vague-shadows @pippsmcgee  (35,928) Treasure Planet AU in which Michael is the gifted young delinquent who found a treasure map, and Alex is a space pirate pawn in his Father's obsession with riches and legacy.

why i like it: I’ve never seen Treasure Planet, but I didn’t need to thoroughly enjoy this AU. This was the perfect mix of angst and sci-fi adventure, where the authors managed to make the shed even more horrifying. Jesse Manes is the absolute worst in this story, the levels of obsession he goes to find a treasure, and then Michael on his own collision course - the ability to write tense action is a gift, and it’s on display in this story. Cyborg!Alex took up a place in my heart and still lives there, where he only gets the nicest things.

If you like any of these recs, please leave a comment on the story or a kudo- a  ‘this was awesome’ is enough to propel an author into the stratosphere with happiness, so don’t worry about coming up with a unique, never before shared insight- sometimes a keyboard smash and emoji makes all  the difference!

[creamypudding]

Story Preview

As I’m plugging through the second draft of my Zakkura omegaverse/werewolf story I thought I might drop the first chapter as it stands right now. The story itself will contain a lot of smut. A lot of monster fucking. And... you know... some compelling character exploration and growth. Future story tags will include, but are not limited to: omegaverse, werewolf, monster fucking, non-con, past physical/emotional/sexual/child abuse, character death, violence, secrets, heat, bucket loads of cum, breeding kink, sex toys, horror elements, swearing The tags don’t adequately describe how delightfully self-indulgent an depraved this story gets. And looking at the things I have tagged for makes me feel that somewhere along my writing journey I took a sharp turn down a dark alley that’s leading to an even darker basement. 😂 The chapter is under the cut. It is rated M and is 7000-ish words long. Tags for this would be mild horror elements.

I’d love to hear what people think and if anyone would be interested in reading more chapters. I will take silence as a vote for ‘no thank you, keep your depraved shit to yourself.’

Chapter 1 - Homecoming

Discomfort and irritability have been building over the last few days. It is the price he is willing to pay to save a couple of bucks. 4 days of cruising between pill packets before he would break open the next blister pack on day 5 and then the whole 28 day cycle would start over again. It’s what Cloud’s been doing for the past 5 years. 

Yes, there had been mishaps at first while his body adjusted to the medication and while he figured out where the sweet spot lay where he could avoid or interrupt his heat before it blew out of control. 4 days off the medication. That’s his Goldilocks zone. It’s now day 4. He’s been feeling… not good. His ass is uncomfortable, so he went to take a pill only to find all the blister packets empty. Cold dread had washed through him. Not that it did anything to douse the growing warmth in his body. 

He’s still clutching the empty packet as he makes call after call, trying to book in with a physician who might see him and prescribe pentaprox to him. He’s not getting any luck with anyone. 

Cloud shakes and crushes the box with the empty blister packets inside with a mildly satisfying crunch. It’s not the packet’s fault that he doesn't discard the old blister packs. Not its fault that he thought he had more medicine available to him than he actually had. It pisses him off all the more and he throws the packet toward the kitchen as he gets another disappointing response to his inquiries.

Cloud paces his small one-bedroom apartment’s open living area, thinking what he could do. His heat will be here soon. He screams, grabs a cushion, and hurls it at the wall near the front door. It smacks into the calendar, and both items fall to the ground.

Extra annoyed, Cloud stomps over, chucks the cushion back onto the couch and picks up the calendar. He pushes the nail which holds up the calendar back into place and straightens it up. The picturesque mountainscape cools him down just a fraction. He looks at the various circled dates and notes scribbled on his calendar. A special green mark indicates he needs to refill his prescription. Cloud rolls his eyes. 

Too little too late. He’s at a loss for what to do or how to handle himself now. 

He’s still staring at the picture on the calendar. He could try that. Could try going home, but without visiting home. Just pass on by and hope no one notices him driving past. Why would anyone notice? Cars drive down the road all the time. His car is nothing special and no one will know it’s him. He’s not been back there in 9 years. He’d virtually be a stranger.

It’s an option. An option that’s also deeply unpleasant if it doesn't go right.

Cloud’s eyes drift down to the future date with his good friend Tifa marked on the calendar. That makes him think of something else. She’s always been helpful. She’s given him her medication in the past. Hope returns.

He calls her.

“Hello, Cloud. So nice of you to call. How are you?”

“Hi, Tif. Everything's fine but… I think I need your help.”

“What's up? You sound tense.”

“I messed up. I've run out of pentaprox.”

“Oh, hon. Can't you go see Dr. Scantling? I'm sure she would squeeze you in if you let her know it's urgent.”

Cloud sighs. “That’s the problem. I thought I could book in and see her while I was cruising between pill packets, but she's out of town and won't be back for another two weeks.”

“What about the locum?”

“Apparently he can't prescribe the medication.”

“Oh no. Could you try a different doctor? I can get you some names.”

“I've already looked. All the ones close enough to get to are booked out for the week.” His lip curls and he grits his teeth. How could he have been so self-assured and stupid?

“When does your heat start?” 

“Tomorrow? Or the day after? I’m not sure. But it’s soon. I’m… feeling it.” He swaps the hands holding his cell and wipes his palms on his jeans. Even with the absorption pad in his underwear he feels uncomfortably moist between his ass cheeks.

“Oh. You really didn't leave yourself with much time. I keep telling you, cruising is a bad idea if you don’t have a backup pack ready.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I thought I had another packet somewhere, or still had a sheet left inside the pack I had, but I was wrong. Do you have any? I'll pay you back when I get mine.”

“I'm sorry, I don't have any to spare, and even if I did, I was put onto a different brand and I wouldn’t feel good giving those to you.”

Cloud hums. “Why did you change brands? Was there a problem with it?”

“Well, I’ve been getting flushes and I’ve had a few bad reactions to alphas coming to the shop. My doctor said we should try a different brand with a higher dosage.”

Cloud breathes out hard. This couldn’t have come at a worse time. “What if I have like half of a pill? If you have enough, could you share them with me?”

“I'd rather not risk it. You know the side effects can be lethal if the dosage is off. I couldn't live with myself if I gave you my pills and you ended up in a coma or something.”

Ending up in a coma sounds better than the idea of going through heat. He keeps that to himself though. 

His silence is noticed as Tifa says, “I'm sorry.”

“It's alright. It was a shot in the dark.”

“What will you do? Do you want to book into Petals? I can see if they have a vacancy for you.”

There is a heavy weight in his chest when he thinks about the breeding clubs. He swallows painfully against the constriction in his throat. He supposes that it is an option. An option which isn’t palatable on many different levels. “I can't afford to go there for the full four days.”

“What about during the worst of it? Just a day or two? Take the edge off.”

“Still can't afford it,” he says snappishly.

“You're not thinking of going to a cheaper one, are you?” Tifa says, in an aghast tone.

“No,” Cloud says with disgust and grimaces at the thought. “I’d rather bankrupt myself to go to Petals than go to a heat hole.” His voice shakes and he clenches his fists. Taking a deep breath, he pulls his shoulders down from around his ears and says, “I’ve sworn myself off that scene. I’ll never be desperate enough to go back.”

“It’s not about being desperate, it’s—”

“I don’t care to hear your opinion.”

Tifa huffs. “Don’t bite my head off. I’m trying to help you think of all your options.” 

He’s got nothing to respond with so gets up and purposefully goes to the hallway storage cupboard and pulls out a large backpack.

“How long has it been since you last went through a heat?”

The question catches him off guard in more ways than one. It’s a relief to not know. A relief that his heat hasn’t consumed his thoughts and behaviors in so long that he needs to count back the years and really think hard.

When was the last time? He vaguely recalls his 21st birthday. “Five years, maybe?”

“That is a long time. What about sex?”

Cloud purses his lips and closes the cupboard with an audible click.

“You know I don't mean to pry—”

“I know, I know.” The roll of the eyes is unavoidable. She doesn't mean to pry but she still is. He knows it comes from a place of genuine concern for him. He's concerned too, or he'd never have called her up. “It's probably been about the same amount of time. I haven't been with anyone since I quit the club scene and got medicated.”

Thoughtful hums come through the line. “So you're possibly going to have a tougher time than normal during this heat. It’s a drawback of the medication. Do you have enough supplies? Cold compresses? Heat packs? Heat aids? Pheromone diffusers? You have access to a bath, don't you? Do you want me to come over to check on you over the next few days? If you’re missing anything I can bring you supplies form my shop.”

“No.” There is nothing for him here. Resigned to his fate, he takes the backpack to his bedroom because he’s going to have to get packing. “Don't trouble yourself. I think I'll go away for a little while.” 

“Where to?”

“Back home. I think I told you how I used to swim in the lakes there when I felt sick?” The idea of freezing water, and cold mountain air actually heartens him. The discomfort of the location aside, it might not be such a bad idea after all.

Tifa sucks in a sharp breath. “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

He shrugs. “The Shinra’s have moved out of town, so it should be okay. I'm thinking of avoiding the town and everyone in it. I might visit mom on my way out. It’s been years. Might as well take the opportunity to say hi.” 

“If you’re sure.”

“Yeah. I am. Thanks for the chat.”

“Sorry I couldn't be of more help. If you need anything, call me.”

“I only need pills,” he fires off.

“Sorry,” she says quietly.

Cloud swaps the cell to his other hand and wedges it between his ear and shoulder while he studies his wardrobe's contents. “Sorry for being snappy.”

“It’s okay. It’s the heat.”

“Yeah.” He sighs and grumbles, pulling drawers out to gather clothes for his impromptu camping trip. “I won't have reception where I’m going, so don't freak out when I don't call you, or if you can’t reach me.”

“Is that such a good idea? To go somewhere where you can't be reached? What if you have an emergency?”

Cloud rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine. I know the country like the back of my hand.”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“I’ll be fine.”

An unhappy sound leaves Tifa. “Heats need to be managed. You haven't had yours in five years. Your body won't be used to the sudden changes,” she nags. But then follows up in a softer tone, “Take it easy. Stay hydrated and cool, okay.”

“Yeah. I will. Thanks.” Tifa's such a mom when it comes to this stuff. It’s nice to be cared for and worried about. He smiles despite himself and crams a handful of items into the backpack. If she wasn't so thoughtful and sweet, Cloud would have never befriended her—correction: he'd never have let her befriend him. 

“Get your meds when you come back.”

“Yeah. No worries. I’ve learned my lesson.”

Cloud hangs up and sighs with the world's weight on his shoulders. His wristwatch reads 12:11 PM. A frown draws his brows together. He's still got to pack. It's cutting it close if he hopes to set up camp before sundown—especially in the valley he's heading for.

Is this really such a good idea? Tifa’s nagging puts doubts in his head now. Does she have a point? Maybe? Is she being overly cautious? Yes. He may not have been camping for a long while, but he's a country boy, born and bred. That stuff doesn't leave just because he’s moved to the city.

And the heat… He's heard the stories. Everyone's heard the stories of coming off pentaprox or something equivalent without support. Whether that be medical support, or a willing alpha, or other omega's to care and assistance while the heat rages. It can't be so bad. They're just stories. After all, his body decided to go into heat spontaneously when he was 15 and that didn't kill him.

Though… it might have been better if it had.

Cloud looks through his possessions, realizing how grossly under-prepared he is for this expedition. He doesn't have a tent, or even a sleeping bag, or sleeping mats. There’s a water filtration system he needs to clean and change the filters on. He’s got tin camping utensils and cups, as well as canned food stuff. It goes some way but he knows he’ll have to head to the shops to get the remaining things he needs.

For now, he shoves the things he does have into the backpack, amongst his clothes. Though, he debates with himself how many pairs of pants he’s going to need. Is he going to wear pants? Or any clothes? He remembers feeling too hot to wear anything and spending hours in cold water. So maybe no clothes? It would lighten his load. But the idea of his ass leaking all down his legs makes him grimace. 

He'll definitely wear clothes. At least pants. And that reminds him… Cloud goes to the bathroom, gets toiletries, and pulls out absorption pads in the back of the drawers. They are years old but still work just fine. He knows. He’s wearing one right now. With chagrin, he changes the one he’s got on and takes the rest with him, stuffing everything into the backpack.

How severe will his heat get? Will he feel like crawling out of his own skin? Will he throw up? He did, once. The more he thinks about it the more he hates himself for having landed in this predicament.

Cloud looks at his packed things. There's still room, which will be quickly taken up with all the extra things he’ll need to buy. He sighs with exasperation. He’s gotta get moving if he hopes to get anywhere before nightfall. The days are already short because of early spring. They’ll be even shorter in the mountains. 

So he heads to the shops and buys some of the things he needs. But for some reason the main camping stuff: tent and sleeping bag, are not to be found. Correction: there are tents but they are all for large families. He only needs a single occupancy one. Carrying anything else is a waste of space. And so Cloud has a difficult choice to make. Buy a massive tent here, or head out and buy a smaller one at his destination. 

Sure, he could go to another store, but he doesn’t want to waste any more time than he already has. So he settles on the idea of heading out and getting what he needs in town. But he’s no fool. He checks the stock levels on the website for the chain store, and sure enough, they have what he’s looking for in-stock. At a reduced sales price too, thanks to it being off-season in the tourist town.

It’s settled and he goes back to his car and drives off.

The two hour drive out to the country is filled with deprecating thoughts. He clearly knew he'd run out of his meds and needed a refill. It had been marked on the calendar. 

Why did he forget? Yes, he's been busy at work helping his boss refurbish a fleet of vintage cars, which he’s really enjoyed and spent a lot of overtime doing. But that’s a poor excuse. He hates the omega part of his biology enough that not letting the heat happen should have been number 1 on his list of priorities. 

He blames his doctor. If she wasn’t away this wouldn’t be an issue right now. He’s on day 4 of his pill cruising. He’d have gone to get a refill today and tomorrow he would have been right as rain. Even if he’d gotten a refill in another day or two he would probably be okay. A day or two of heated agitation and a leaky ass he can deal with. But the agonizing need to be filled is what he wants to avoid ever feeling again.

Going so many years without enduring heat has made his body all weak and intolerant. Cloud vaguely remembers that for a few years before he considered medical treatment as a serious solution, he rode out the heat using various methods. He cringes and pushes those thoughts out of his head. He’s not that person anymore. He’s learned. He’s forgiven himself and is a more tolerant person when it comes to alpha’s. 

When it comes to himself though… Has he ever had a heat he actually enjoyed? He thought he enjoyed some, but on reflection, he really never did. He convinced himself he liked them. It was easier than seeing how much he hurt and hated. And now he’s about to go through all of it again, because of his own fucking negligence. 

He hopes it'll be like riding a bike for his body. Realistically, it won't be anything like that though. His body isn't used to any of the changes. His resilience is at an all time low.

Why did he let it get to this stage? The more he thinks about his dissociative behavior toward his own biology the angrier he gets. That, in turn, makes his skin prickle and he rubs and scratches at his arm while he drives, digging and scraping fingernails along the inside of his arm.

It takes the focus away from what's really upsetting him. Catching his own action, he stops, turns the radio on louder, and grips the steering wheel harder as he races against the day to get to his destination before nightfall. ~~~

Cloud finally arrives. He stops at the intersection that leads from the freeway to town and he wrestles with himself. Does he really want to face these people? Most of them aren’t bad. A lot of them aren’t. He just doesn’t want those who sympathize with George or Shinra knowing he’s back. But what can those two men do to him now? He’s an adult. He can’t be forced into anything. Legally he can’t, anyway.

Cloud looks to the right where the road winds through fields and heads toward the mountain ranges. That’s the way he’s supposed to go. But he needs a tent. With a deep breath, he takes his foot off the break, turns the steering wheel, and makes for his hometown.

The going is slow. The road is peppered in potholes. Some are mere dents, while others are cavernous craters. This is one of the main roads in and out of town. It leads from the freeway into town, and in the other direction are the mountain ranges, which connect to other small townships and ski resorts. It can get pretty busy during the winter season, which doesn’t help the road.

Winter’s snow and sleet have eaten away at the road. Cloud knows it’ll get fixed in the summer, as it always has in the past, only to be broken again once the snow melts. It’s predictable. He should have anticipated this. Anticipated the forced slow speed eating further into his time. He’s jiggling about in his seat like he’s being put through a blender. It’s sheer misery. 

Worst of all is that certain pot holes—no matter how many times they get filled in—keep coming back with absolute certainty, like they are haunting the road. Cloud comes up to one of the rare bends in the road. The trees and overgrown shrubs block the view of what’s beyond the bend, which is bad, because the mega pot hole, which Cloud has dubbed Shinra’s Asshole, practically forces him to cross onto the other side of the road to avoid breaking his car. Little Timmy is probably also waiting for him in the opposite direction. That sucker has tripped him up more times than he can recall.

He nods his head in wary greeting to Shinra’s Asshole and gets back on the right side of the road, heading into town. 

When he gets there he’s hit with old feelings. Not nostalgia. It’s more of an eerie déjà vu. Nothing has changed. The lamp post by the post office is still crooked. The fire-hydrant by the grocer still has the same graffiti on it. The place also smells the same, as he gets out, wearing the one sweater he brought along, hiding himself beneath the hood.

With his head down, he goes about his business in the adventure store. He knows what he wants. It’s in stock. Good. He sees some compact floor mats that he grabs and a canteen. Unfortunately this extra time lingering in the store draws the attention of one of the shop assistants, who happens to be Jonas, a person Cloud used to go to school with. He asks too many questions about where Cloud’s been and where he’s heading, and wanting to catch up like they are old friends. 

It’s mean in good faith, but all he is, is nosy.

Cloud doesn’t recognize the person at the sales counter and wishes he could have gotten to her before Jonas has ever piped up. There is nothing to be done about it. He acts as polite as possible without giving anything away, pays for his items, and leaves.

After that encounter, Cloud feels eyes on him. Maybe it’s paranoia. Maybe it’s the heat making him more perceptive to others' attention. Whether make-believe or not, he’s uncomfortable, and retreats deeper into his hood for the short duration that it takes him to get back to his car.

Once he’s managed to squeeze everything he bought into the backpack or strapped it on top of it, he gets in the car and heads back out toward the freeway exit. The going is slow. Cloud checks the rearview mirror, like he’ll be followed out of town, caught, and taken to the Shinra mansion kicking and screaming. He had nightmares of that happening. He hates that he remembers them now.

Carefully, he picks his way through the broken road. Unfortunately, the urge to get out of dodge gets him hitting some of the nasty pot holes. He hisses and winces every time it happens and prays that nothing’s broken underneath.

He could fix it if he had the tools. He didn’t think to bring any. So he hopes and prays and watches his speed and the road with greater care. He’s also watching the sun as it creeps toward the mountain range. It won’t be long now until twilight, and then a deep night. 

Cloud’s former home comes into sight. Comparable to other farms around here, the brick house sits relatively close to the road, with a short driveway leading to the barren, dusty yard.

His stomach drops as he sees a person stand near the road. It’s his mother, Claudia, wearing the same floral-print dress he remembers her wearing for the majority of his life. She has a style and refuses to budge from it. It only reinforces how nothing ever changes in this place. Like it’s frozen in time.

Despite her not knowing Cloud’s car, she’ll see it’s him when he drives past. He wanted to avoid this. Wanted to only see her once he was on his way out. She hasn’t seen him in 9 years. He should stop. 

As he nears the farmhouse he checks between the trees. George’s pickup isn’t there. It’s the only reason he does pull over. But he does so with grit teeth

He should have never gone into town. Jonas or someone else who might have recognized him called up his mother. Small towns and their gossip. It boils his blood and makes the growing heat inside feel all the worse. 

Having put his car in park, Cloud sits there, hands on the steering wheel, looking straight ahead. How is he supposed to explain himself to her? What will she think? How had she been treated ever since he ran away? Does she begrudge him leaving? Is she mad that he never reached out to her? He had his reasons. She knows he did.

Cloud jumps at the knock on the window. He looks over, barely able to hold eye contact for more than a second, so concentrates on winding the window down.

“Cloud. Get out here, right now.” A tremble sits in her voice. Her breath is sharp.

Cloud takes a deep breath to fortify himself, swallows the lump in his throat, and pushes the door open like a heavy boulder sits behind it, holding it closed.

He feels exposed leaving the safety of his car. He still can’t look at his mother. All he sees is her dusty brown leather shoes with a floral pattern embroidered on the sides. The threads are worn and bleached of color. The hem of her dress is frayed and the dye has faded over the years.

“At last, you came back,” she says breathily. 

Cloud gets yanked and stumbles right into his mothers winding arms. The grip is tight, squeezing him like she’s holding on for dear life.

Cloud stares over her shoulder with unseeing eyes. His mother's love and warmth radiates and permeates through all the years they’ve been separated. He feels like a child again. Frail. Afraid. But calmed. Secure. Safe. Relieved.

He clutches her and buries his face in the top of her shoulder. “Mom,” he sobs with the overburdened weight which still clings to him over having left her behind.

“Oh, Cloud. My baby. My boy.” She sniffles and hugs him tighter. They stay glued together until she steps back. But not very far and not out of reach. She holds Cloud by the arms, as if letting go would melt him, like a dream that fades after waking. Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. She looks him up and down with a quavering smile trembling on lips.

Cloud looks at her now. Sees her in full. The gray hairs. The extra wrinkles. The thinning skin, and bags around her eyes. Nothing changes, everything remains the same. But time ravages on, and has left its mark on his mother. Tremendous relief overtakes him that time’s marks are all that he sees. He can’t help but wonder how many of those frown lines are there because of him. How much of her youth has been bleached away all because of him? 

“I’m so glad you’re back. I still have all your postcards. Did you really go to all those places?”

Does he tell her the truth about his trips to gaudy souvenir shops and hours spent online imagining where he might go instead of actually seeking out adventure? “Some of them. Others I just thought you might like.”

“I do. Oh, I do. I loved them all. I loved knowing you were alright. You are alright, aren’t you?”

He thought he was, until his heat kicked in and he had to come out here. But objectively, he probably is. “I’ve been fine. I’ve got a place, and a job, and I’m doing fine.”

“What about a girlfriend—”she adds more quietly“—or a boyfriend?” Energy returns to her. “Kids? Oh, god, don’t tell me you’ve had children that I haven’t met yet.”

Cloud chuckles and it makes his own tears fall. “No. I’ve got no one. No kids. I’m fine though. I’m doing okay.”

She sighs and a firm warm smile graces her lips. “Oh, Cloud. Look at you. You’ve grown into such a man.” She hugs him close.

Cloud doesn’t think he looks too different. Clearly not different enough to not be recognized in town. Though he supposes he’s filled out a bit more, and his haircut’s changed too. Maybe it’s the scruff around his jaw and chin? He’s been too stressed to shave.

She pulls away again, but still holds on to him. “What’s made you decide to come back now? Have you come to visit me?”

Regretfully, he shakes his head. “Passing through.”

She glances toward the car. “You’re going camping? Where at? It’s getting late. How about you come inside and stay the night? We’d love to have you stay, even for a little bit.”

The implications of the ‘we’ sends a chill down Cloud’s spine. “I… I’d rather not. I need to go so I can make it before it's completely dark.”

“So you won't stay?” Dejection collapses her face. “He’s changed, y’know? It’s been better. A lot better.”

Cloud swallows down the visceral rejection threatening to bubble up and form a scream. “It’s not that. I’m… I have somewhere I need to be.” He looks over his shoulder at the mountain range, to see the sun slipping further down.

“Can you tell me where you’re going?” 

Cloud’s stomach clenches tight and feels heavy. His chest might as well have a rock sitting right on top of it. “Down to the lakes.” He gives his mother an intensely pointed look.

Her mouth drifts open. “Because of… the flutters?” she whispers in abject dread.

He gives a small, almost imperceptible nod. His gut twists into knots. 

Claudia’s hazy blue-eyed gaze falls off him for the first time. She pulls her arms around herself and after a moment speaks, “Will it happen soon?”

“Tomorrow.”

She takes a deep breath and looks at him again. 

“You don't have to worry about me. I’m okay. I’m doing really good with all of that. And I want to keep it that way,” he says, with emphasis.

She nods. She understands. She knows. She knows everything. Quietly, she says, “You can't go to the lakes.”

“Why not?”

“It's not our land.”

Cloud wrinkles his face with confusion. “Not our land? Since when? I swam there all the time when I was younger.”

“Well… that was… it was never our land to begin with. It belongs to the Valentine family. His nephew lives there now. You can't trespass.”

Cloud scowls. What the fuck is he supposed to do now? “Maybe if I go ask him?”

Claudia smiles bitterly. “That's a wonderful idea. But he's not here. He leaves once a month on farm business. He should be back by mid next week.”

Cloud looks around, increasingly frustrated and annoyed. “What am I supposed to do now then? I… mom. I have no other option. I’ve been on medication to help me, but my doc is away and I’m out of pills and it’s happening tomorrow. I can’t… I can’t do the other thing. I need to go to the lake.”

Claudia looks down the road toward the mountain. She then looks the other way down the empty road. “It’s a big plot of land. He probably won’t notice. If he does, maybe I can bake him some pies as an apology for letting you trespass. He’s really a nice man. He probably won’t mind if you go.”

Cloud sighs and his shoulders slump. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Well… I’ll get going then. I’ve—”

“Wait. It’s too late now.”

“I’ve got to go, ma. I can’t stay here.”

“I know.” She pulls his head down and kisses his forehead. “Just wait here a moment.” She hurries off toward the house.

Cloud waits, his gaze turned toward the road, keeping a watchful eye out for a dust cloud or any sign of a pickup coming this way. The sun is setting fast. He refuses to be here when George comes home, no matter what his mother wants him to wait for. 

The longer he waits and watches, the itchier he gets to get back in his car.

His mother finally comes out, cradling an old shotgun Cloud recognizes from the mantelpiece above the fireplace.

“Take the gun,” Claudia says. “You still know how to use one, don’t you?” She holds it out to him as well as a box of ammunition.

“Yeah, of course I do. But I’m not taking a gun. What do I need a gun for?”

“Bears have moved into the hills, especially around Shinra's Pass. The lakes are fed from there. The bears come down in spring.”

“That's crazy. There're no bears here.”

“You haven't been here in a long time. I know it must'n't feel like it, but things do change. About four years ago now we lost almost all of our calves. Your pa was furious. He was going to bear trap the whole lower gully, but then that new fellow moved into old Valentine's abandoned farmhouse and said he’d put a fence up to keep the bears out. And he did, and it did. But you best take a gun with you. If not for your safety then at least do it to make me feel better about letting you go out there, trespassing and everything. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.” She begins to tut and shoves the gun against Cloud’s chest.

Frowning, Cloud takes hold of the weapon. “Are you sure it’s for bears?”

“Only for bears,” she says sternly. “He has changed. He’s given up drinking. Things are better.”

“Because I’m gone.”

“No. I mean… maybe, yes. He needed a break to see what he’d done and how he was. He misses you. He’s… sorry.”

Cloud grits his teeth. “Sorry doesn’t—” He bites his words down. This isn’t what he came here for. Not even remotely. “Alright. I’ll take the gun. For the bears,” he says with a sarcastic drawl. 

“Thank you. It’ll make me feel better. Don’t forget the ammunition.” She hands that over and looks down the road with a hesitant gaze.

Her unease rubs off on Cloud. He checks the safety on the weapon and opens the back of the car, storing the gun and ammo in a safe spot. He comes back around to his mother.

“When will you be back? I have so much I want to talk to you about. Please come over before you leave. We both want to see you. After you feel… better,” she says in a thin voice and gives him a brittle smile. 

He doesn’t know how he can feel so loved and yet shunned all at the same time. He knows it’s not his mother, but more George that’s causing the tension. And as much as the idea of being around here doesn't appeal to him, he still does the required mental arithmetic to figure out when his heat might end and he might come back. “Wednesday. If I’m not back by sundown the bears’ eaten me,” he says wryly.

“Not funny, darling.”

Cloud chuckles. He catches a rising dust cloud in the distance. His mother looks over as well.

“You’d better go, dear. It was so good to see you. Please, don’t be a stranger. He’s changed. Really. I miss you.” She gives him a loving kiss and hug but doesn’t linger.

Cloud hurries into his car and makes to leave while his mother tells him to take the Steadman paddock and to follow the road down to save some time. “And don't forget to close the gates,” she says as she follows Cloud, who’s driving at a crawl.

“Thanks, ma.”

“Love you.” She blows him a kiss.

A pang of guilt hits him square in the chest at the image of his mother growing smaller in the rearview mirror. He's lost count how often he's fantasized about coming back to the house and taking her away from this hellhole.

He focuses back on the asphalt, eager to gun down the road, but he needs to avoid the potholes, so he goes carefully and pays attention.

Lucky for him, he gets to the slight curve in the road before he sees the pickup truck in his mirrors. The more distance he can get between himself and that man the better.

He checks the mirrors while keeping an eye out for the paddock's gate. Discomfort thumps in his chest. This was such a bad idea. He should have gone to Petals.

While he berates himself anew, he finds the paddock gate, does as his mother requested with closing it, and drives across the field, following the dirt trek as it leads him to the next gate, and the next gate.

He's miles into the farmland. Nothing but fields surround him and it is there, at the Steadman paddock which backs onto wilderness, that Cloud pulls over. This is the closest he can get to where he's going by car. It's been a steady decline driving here and many trees and shrubs are between him and any possible view of the farmhouse, so Cloud relaxes his tense hold on the steering wheel. 

The mountains loom like sleeping giants in the distance, casting the land into twilight as the sun has long sunk between the peaks.

Cloud watches night descend behind the wheel of his automobile. He definitely can't get to the lakes now. There is nothing to be done about it and he opts to sleeping in the car tonight.

Better that, than to unpack everything only to repack again in the morning.

Cloud makes space, reclining the front passenger seat as far as he can. He unrolls the sleeping mats and digs out the sleeping bag. The heat hasn't fully set in yet so he feels the chill in the air. The sleeping bag should keep him comfortable.

With the interior of the car decked out he turns to his other immediate needs: food and personal comfort.

The plan was to cook over fire. He can't really do that out in the field. Plus, despite being out of sight from the house, he doesn't want to risk rising smoke being seen and drawing unwanted attention.

So it's a plain dinner affair. Bread. Cold cuts of meat. A protein bar. He's not really all that hungry anyway. There is a buzz in his body. His ass feels gross. What he wouldn't give for a shower. He also reeks. It's the pheromones, or something. Usually he can't smell himself, but the heat gets him sweating up a storm. 

He wishes he could tell his body to calm down. There is no one out here to take notice of him. No one to fill him or… breed him. Cloud grimaces at the turn of phrase. It's all so gross. Omega's and the entitlement of alpha's to omega's bodies is all so gross.

Sitting in the dark, in front of an electric lantern he's brought along, grows an introspection that hasn't been there in a long time. He's been preoccupied with running away from himself by keeping busy. But out here, among the star-studded sky that feels so vast and expansive, it's like being adrift in the ocean of his own thoughts.

He's successfully denied himself the feelings and sensations that are now stirring and waking in his body. He's always hated his biology, for as long as he can remember having been made aware of them. He hates how he's been made lesser in other's eyes. George's eyes. His own eyes.

Cloud rubs his face. These thoughts aren't at all enjoyable. In fact, he thought himself better than this. Better than feeling so much resentment toward alpha's. Not being in heat made him put that stuff behind him. But now that it's starting to build, and with it his urges that need someone else to be properly satiated, all the old resentments rise to the surface again.

All the omega positivity movements can go to hell. ‘Alpha's service you.’ He thinks that line in a mocking tone. He is and always will be something that alpha's see as theirs to get their rocks off to. 

Even the alpha's at clubs. Their fake respect can't make up for the fact that they get paid. If they weren't getting paid—if there wasn't a risk to their livelihood being taken away if they let their true nature ring out even a little—Cloud feels certain that even the 'good alpha's' would turn to self-serving assholes the minute they got inside an omega on heat.

Cloud breathes out a loud huff of air, which turns into billowing mist. He's getting worked up for nothing. Clubs serve a purpose. He shouldn't get upset about it. He made the choice to walk away, which is why he's out here right now.

Insects buzz, chirp, and some even lightly clink against the glass of the lantern. Cloud hasn't felt this exposed to the elements since he left his hometown. It brings with it good and bad thoughts. 

He steers clear of the bad, packs up the food wrappers, turns off the light, and hops into the car to settle down for sleep.

It's cramped and hot. He cracks the window, grabs Choccy, his Chocobo stuffie, which used to be a lot more vibrant in color and rounder, and snuggles with it as he twists and turns to get a comfortable position. ~~~

Cloud wakes up with a grunt. His heart races. Sweat drips. It's stinking hot. He grabs the lantern before he exits the car. The moon's light is bright, but Cloud's still got the lantern on so he can make out the dark shapes on the ground. 

Not that it helps him much at all. The stumbles are unavoidable as he walks across the uneven paddock toward the fence to take a leak.

The cold night air offers welcome relief as he stands outside going about his business. Cold nips at his skin and fingers. The sweat clinging to his brow actually serves its purpose and draws the heat from his pores. 

Slowly, he draws his vision up toward the cloudless sky. The brilliant specks of light twinkle above and take his breath away.

Looking up reminds him that he isn't all there is. It makes him feel like a speck of dirt and insignificant enough to get perspective from his day to day problems. It makes for welcome relief and he finds himself smiling up at the endless worlds and possibilities that exist out there in the vast reaches of space.

He finishes off and pulls his gaze back to his more earthly needs. Cloud tenses with fright and looks out across the next paddock at two points of light, reminiscent of cat's eyes. 

They extinguish. Just like that. Cloud's breath remains stuck in his chest. He lets out a slow sigh.

What was that just now? Fireflies? Not in this weather or in this season. He tucks himself in and raises the lantern as he peers into the still darkness.

It is still. Almost too quiet. Where did all the insects go? There is nothing but silence. With narrowed eyes, he stares into the dark, straining to see and unable to tell if it's his vision playing tricks or if there really is a patch of darker shadow on the dark ground. 

The wind blows, taking the last of the sweat on his skin with it. Slick gushes from his ass. Cloud jumps with a squeak and squeezes his sphincter to try and stop it from coming out. Futile really. 

He turns back to the car and waddles over to freshen up.

God. He hates this so much and can't wait to get to the lake tomorrow.

After getting himself settled, he takes one last long look out across the paddock, but sees nothing. The insects chirp. He returns to the car to get more sleep.

[binniesthighs]

hello stranger | reader x changbin |

WELP here it is, my totally self indulgent reader x binsung fic that has developed into so much more than I expected!! thank you lovelies for hyping me up to write more of this story ily!! hehe we are indeed in for a spicy, angsty, and fluffy time!! You can read part 1 here

Part 2  

Paring: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung 

Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst, 

Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!jisung, rapper!changbin, artist!reader, established fwb!jisung, explicit language, oral (f receiving), that good, good makin’ out,   sub!reader, cockydom!jisung, on that note, jisung being horny as hellll, the cutest bestfriend!felix there is, changbin’s flirty ass, a sprinkling of angst, ro being in her fanfic writer element uwu 

Word count: 3.1k

Chapters 

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

[00:19] 

han jisung: you like the performance? 

you looked stunning. 

where did you go? i couldn’t find you. i even stayed after. 

[00:28] 

me: oh really? just for me? 

han jisung: you left something at my place last time, I was going to give it back to you. 

me: that’s why you wanted to see me? i don’t believe you. 

[00:36] 

han jisung: are you doing anything right now? 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Against the heat of your sweating body on the matted quilt, a winter chill seeped in through the wooden windowsill, dusty with age. Had you not been burning with heat, you would have been freezing. Fistfuls of the quilt filled up your hands, and your fingers dug into the fabric hard enough to make your nailbeds change color. You hadn’t even noticed that you had been slightly grinding into his mouth. 

“you taste so good baby,” Jisung’s breath swirled into your swollen clit.

A tiny squeak escaped your lips at the sensation.

Both of his arms had curled under your legs to pull them farther apart, lending his nails to dig lightly into your skin. He chuckled out pridefully onto your sensitive bud, the vibrations heightening your arousal. Jisung kissed gently into you with the luxurious sounds of your excitement and his saliva mixing on his lips. His eyes held a mischievous green haze as he would look up at you with his big brown eyes, flattening out his tongue to lick at you in thick, agonizing lines. At last, he would suck and on your clit, flicking his tongue around it sporadically, as if he was giving every nerve ending his complete attention.

The way that he would suck on your clit was unreal.

As if to balance yourself, you raked one of your hands instinctually through his nearly black strands.  

“Ji--” You choked out half of his name, too weak to summon the rest.

You were impossibly close. With eyes scrunched up a little, they rolled up from his taunting gaze to your ceiling.

On the shitty paint job up there, there was a crack. It was an ugly crack at that: the kind that was browning from water damage and segued into other tinier veins. Your apartment was old anyway. It wasn’t uncommon for old apartments like that to have cracks in the ceiling.  

You hadn’t really recognized it before.

Why haven’t I noticed that before?

“fuck, you’re so wet for me, aren’t you?”

“Mmhm.” You focused back on his lapping tongue, feeling the tension build once more. “ ‘M close.”

Jisung quickened his pace, sucking harder and rubbing the tip of his tongue over your mound. You could even feel the little haughty smile on his mouth when your hips jerked up toward him.

As you neared your orgasm, memories fogged your eyes, you let them roll over and over, relishing in how good it had all felt. Suddenly you wanted nothing more than to feel filled up hopelessly deep inside.

“f-fingers” Your whispers begged.

Jisung obliged, sliding his index and ring in to pump in and out of your walls.

Perhaps you had made it up to feel better than it was in your head.

You came a couple minutes after, limbs shaking under his teasing while he helped you ride out your high, tongue still circling around your clit. Shallow inhales filled up your lungs as you calmed your body.

You didn’t remember it feeling like that...you remembered it being...unreal.

Jisung lead kisses up your stomach before giving a couple fleeting kisses to your breast, smug as he always was.

“-Felt good?”

Little aftershocks still tugged at your body. “...As always Ji.”

“Mm. Good.” He beamed widely with the pearly white grin that had drawn you to him in the first place. “I’ve been thinking about this all day.” Jisung tugged his boxers down, letting free his properly hardened member, veiny and tip dripping with his eager pre-cum. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

Jisung prowled over your body, stretching out your legs up in front of him.

Your thighs shook in his hands.

“Jisung, wait--”

“--What is it?” Worriedly, his eyes widened looking down at you.

“...can we give it a sec? Can you give me a sec?”

His puzzled expression gave you his answer.

“I just fucking came Ji, can’t you give me a damn minute to settle down before we go at it again?”

His mouth formed a little “oh” then he slid down to lay beside you, brows crossed slightly. “...you’ve never asked for this before.”

“just shut up and kiss me alright?”

Jisung nodded, bridging the gap between your faces and the mess of pillows under your heads.

When Jisung wasn’t trying to fuck you, he was actually a decent kisser. Against your better judgement, there had been times when you would let your mind linger over these kisses that you had wished he had given you more of. His mouth was warm, and tasted slightly of your arousal from before. Jisung’s tongue asked for permission on your bottom lip, which you granted entrance. He leaned himself further into you, moaning breathily into your mouth. Just because you liked how he would whine for you, you pulled at his lip with your teeth.

You don’t know why your eyes had opened, but there it was again. The crack.

How long had it been there?

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“I just can’t believe you, Y/n.”  

Felix’s voiced echoed though the empty alley, your favored shortcut to campus. Dumpsters covered with snow lined the road riddled in potholes. In each hole, melted snow had leaked in to turn to ice once more. Felix had already slipped three times. Both of your arms linked together to make him feel better.

“How many times are you gonna make me apologize? It ended up being fine anyway.”

“When I say to text me when you get back, what are you supposed to do?”

“Text when I get ba-- “

“--Text when you get back!!!” The little puffball on Felix’s hat bounced in his frustration. “You couldn’t even text me to tell me that something had happened? Do you know how nervous I was?”

“Felix, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Does that do it?”

Your adorable companion grimaced at you, unamused. “I just think that I’m more astonished that you actually stayed over. What the hell did he offer to you? Food? Money?”

“Felix!!” You shoved him away from your body in your dramatic shock. “How dare you think that I would stoop that low!”

“...Well...”

“HEY!”

“You know how I feel about Jisung.”

“He’s not Jisung...that’s for sure.”

“You know about them Y/n. You yourself have said that they’re all the same.”

“Cocky, overzealous dickheads who know exactly what to do with their mouths?”

Felix rolled his eyes coupled with an annoyed groan under his breath. “You know that’s not what I mean.” He huffed out his breath into the freezing air. “His presence didn’t nauseate you?”

“I was tired. I honestly don’t remember falling asleep, I only remember waking up before the sun came up and leaving.”

“-Didn’t even say goodbye? See you again? Your phone number?”

“I don’t plan on seeing him again.”

“You don’t?”

“He...looked at me weird.”

Felix let out a flabbergasted pshhhh, which turned into a startled little gasp when his foot caught the ice. As always, you were there to catch his falls.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That he looked at me weird! What the hell else is it supposed to mean?”

“Care to expand?”

It had been four days. Four days that had felt much longer than four days. Four days since he had looked at you like you like you were the only person to ever live and breathe. You knew what was in his eyes. It was something you hadn’t truly felt on your body for a long time.

“You’re perfect.” He had said to you, barely knowing more than your name.

In your lusty haze that night, you had said something about being all his.

You barely knew more than his name.

In the days after when you recalled the whole night, searching for answers to why you had said what you had, no explaination pieced together. You hadn’t belonged to anyone in such a long time, and you certainly didn’t belong to him.

He had asked to know you better, but you kissed the words away on his lips before he could say any more.

Your body shivered placing the memory of his fingers tracing up and down your back as you had studied his features, the two of you still connected.

You turned to your friend, “No. Because there isn’t anything more to talk about. He looked at me weird, and I’d rather not see him again.”

“~Oookay then~” Felix nuzzled into your arm. “You working today? Can you make it Chan’s after? We’re gonna play some Smash and there’s a new DLC!”

“-Can’t make it, I’ve got some projects to work on.”

“School or the other kind?”

“Both. My new paper should be coming today.”

“Suit yourself...but we’ll miss youuuu.” The peppy blonde squeezed hard where he held onto you, only to have his feet fall out from under him on the ice.

You quickly softened his fall, holding his body up before his butt would hit the concrete. “I don’t think that I’m the one that you should be worrying about ‘lix.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

From your favorite corner of the library, the sun would shine the brightest at sunset, and luckily, often your scheduling would let you see it. Sometimes you liked to think that you owned it in this little corner on the fourth floor. Better yet, it was situated near the stacks of old newspapers and periodicals so seldom did this corner see anyone else other than you.

The shelf was nestled near to one of the floor-length windows which overlooked the skyline. At this time of year nearest to the aftermath of Christmas, the city lights were still peppered with greens, reds, yellows and blues. You thought to yourself that there was nothing more magnificent than the way the sky would fade from the color of blood oranges to the depths of the ocean with the dawn. You had painted it nearly a hundred times, but each time you were left unsatisfied; it was impossible for your hands to recreate something so unique.

Standing this close to the glass, you could feel the winter cold emanating off of it.

“--Beautiful right?”

His voice had startled you, and for a moment you had thought that you had imagined him.

“‘Kinda thing makes me wanna write.”

He walked up right next to you, hands in his pant’s pockets. A billowy looking black hoodie wrapped around his body and his gaudy silver chain peeked from under his collar. You shouldn’t have expected him to look directly at you. He still wouldn’t give you the pleasure until you demanded it.

Silently the two of you stood watching the sun dissipate beyond the horizon for what seemed like hours. Just as you remembered, his massive aura was nearly suffocating. There was something new however: the scent of rosemary and cedarwood which hung around him.

At long last, he muttered, “You didn’t give me a chance to see you off.”

You swallowed dry. “What are you doing here?”

“You gonna answer my question first?” From the corner of his eyes, his stormy pupils teased you.

“You first.” You straightened yourself best you could.

“My roommate goes here. I was looking around for him. Your turn.”

Changbin took his hands out from his pockets to intentionally twist the silver rings around his fingers.

“I work here.” You answered, opting to finesse your way out of answering his question by answering yours.

“Huh. You’re a librarian?” He scoffed out a single laugh. “Why do I find this slightly ironic...considering where we met.”

“I just move stuff around. Ever heard of a part time job?” You clenched out the words between your teeth.

“Oh believe me, I have. Got a few myself. It’s what I get for choosing music over school.”

“How honorable.”

“I’m a man of honor...as you know.” His eyes finally cast down at you.

Frankly, your memory must’ve been shit, because he looked even more unreal than you remembered.  

“Actually, I’m kind of glad that I ran into you here. What a coincidence, huh?”

“--Sure.” You quipped.

Changbin tilted his head with a growing smirk. “Knees feeling better?”

“They’re fine.”

“Good thing that I was there to help you.”

“You don’t have to pretend like you’re talking about my knees Changbin.”

You turned to walk away, only for him to twist himself around into your path.

“You’ve got me.” He rose his arms up in defeat. “Since I didn’t get your number, I didn’t get the chance to tell you--” Changbin’s body mass leaned ever so slightly closer to you, his dark eyes glossing over with that same confidence that he held so naturally. He breathed into your ear, “I really enjoyed our time together.”

His words send a shiver down your entire body that you prayed he didn’t see. You took a hand flat to his chest to remove him from your space.

“D-don’t you have a roommate that you should be finding?”

“Libraries are big places. Plenty of places for me to get lost...”

He advanced again, cupping a hand to the side of your face and rubbing his thumb into the soft of your cheek.

There he was, looking at you again like that. Had it not been addicting, you would have been terribly annoyed by it now.

Changbin tilted his face nearer, his lips just barely grazing over yours. Something about his scent made you feel like you were enchanted.

“Have you been thinking of me as much as I have of you?”

He sucked in a sharp inhale, then sealed your lips with his. He took both sides of your face in his hands, holding on you with such a dire grip it was as if he felt like you would melt into nothing in his hands. Every run of his lips over yours was different from the last; but the way in which he poured himself into it all was the exact same. He used his full weight to push the two of you into the metal shelf, bracing the back of your head so you wouldn’t get hurt. Changbin pressed his body into you fully, nearly engulfing you with his broad chest. There was nothing else in his kisses besides pure, unadulterated desire.

Four days since he had kissed you. Four days that had felt much longer than four days.

Hesitantly, your hands twitched at your sides, deciding to hold him back. You hadn’t noticed, but his own hands had fallen from your face to cascade down your arms to wrap them around him himself. Under the fabric of his hoodie, you could feel every single curved muscle. Before you could explain it, your fingers traversed all around the expanse, drawing in all the pieces that your brain hadn’t thought to commit to memory. The second that you did, he smiled into your mouth.

“So you have.” His husky tone spilled into your ear after he gently broke from your lips.

Changbin moved to kiss at your pulse at your neck, leaving you to tremble under his fluttering movements. Your teeth bit into your lip as to not produce a sound; your fear of someone walking round the corner only made you more anxious and thrilled. He pulled the collar of your sweater down to increase the pressure of his mouth, drawing little whimpers from your throat.

“Changbin, what are you--”

Before he could do any more damage, he pulled back, putting your collar right back in place. Between the two of you, your exasperated little gasps filled the air. Slowly, he run his thumb over your slightly swollen lips.

“I meant it, I’d like to get to know you more.” He swept your hair back with a couple fingers.

“I was planning on not seeing you again.” You gathered up your will again.

Changbin tsked, “That wasn’t how you kiss someone you don’t want to see again.”

You pulled his hands from off your face. “I should be going. And you should too.”

“You’re unbelievable.” He scoffed with disbelief.

You really were. Just from kissing him, you had felt how inexplicably wet you had become. Every part of your body ached for just a little more, and you could have it. But you wouldn’t let yourself. He didn’t own you.

“Need me to show you to the stairs?”

“No.” He spat out the word. “Don’t walk away from this.”

“Who are you to tell me what to do?”

“I thought that I just made myself pretty damn clear.”

“--As did I.”

“No, you didn’t.”

Changbin strode up to you, the little thin chain on his pants swaying.

“Give me your number.” He said in earnest. For once, you saw his confidence falter.

“I said, I don’t plan on seeing you again.”

“--Then I’ll give you mine. You don’t even have to use it and I can’t reach out to you, how’s that?”

“You’re acting like I’ll want to.”

He exhaled out cooly, “Why the hell else would you kiss me like that?”

Why did you kiss him like that?

You reached out from your back pocket to slide out your phone. “Don’t expect anything. I’ll probably just delete it after long.”

He typed in the numbers, then grinned, announcing, “I doubt that.” Once done, he pulled your collar back up just a little bit higher to fix how it had become askew on your frame.

He sighed with finality, toying with his rings once more. “I think that I’ve been lost in here long enough.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

[01:47]

han jisung: are you doing anything right now?

Your pencil clicked down to your desk with a wooden little thunk. The state of your room was a mess; not like he would have cared. Back at your desk, you glanced down at your unfinished sketch and the scattering of watercolor paintbrushes and paints. During the late hours of the night, your brain would get hazy, and your inhibitions would likely smear like the little pools of blue watercolor accidently spilled on your desktop.

Your tired fingers typed out the word “no.”

Outside of your tiny window dusty with age, you could still see a bit of the twinkling of lights on the cityscape. During the night, they looked like a rainbow of stars reflected upon the night’s ocean.

Your tired fingers deleted the word “no”, then opened a new message. For a moment, you hovered over the keyboard.

[01:49] CB

You really were unbelievable.

me: are you doing anything right now?

[bleulone]

i love your analysis so much! i have a question as well, like, how do you envision polin's sex scenes ? thanks for your answer (:

    Hey! Thank you very much :)) I have no idea if they are that even good but I’m happy you like them. It’s just my brain tending to produce some iNsIGhiTfUL analyses though they usually end up drowned under a huge wave of stupidity and horrid spelling/grammatical mistakes XD. So, about Penelope and Colin’ sex scenes, I guess we’re getting spicy in this house 🌶. I mean, I don’t blame you. Who’s not hot for Polin ?! The steamy Polin hours have already begun and they’re legit challenging my patience. (Be still my Polin heart, be still).

   Okay, without further ado, let’s talk about sex baby, shall we ? It’s a pretty long answer/meta so bear with me.

    I don’t know if you’ve read Romancing Mister Bridgerton, but a quick reminder (for those who haven’t... yet), there are a bunch of iconic steamy scenes that I’m dying to watch on screen. First we have the famous “thank you” scene where Penelope, now a 28 year-old spinster, asks Colin to kiss her because she doesn’t want to die without having been kissed... then ends up thanking him— which happens to be humiliating for our 33 year-old boy because he thinks that she thinks he did it out of pity while he absolutely did not. The man definitely felt butterflies in his stomach... and in other places as well lol. We also have the ICONIC carriage scene where Colin gives Pen’s generous bosoms™ the attention they deserve. This is followed by his proposal. Later on, after the announcement of their engagement, there’s a pretty hot make-out scene on Lady Violet’s sofa. Finally, we have their first time in Colin’s bedroom, after sneaking out of their own engagement party... which leads Colin to push the wedding date forward. At this point, I just love their horniness, especially Colin’s who’s just so freaking amazed by Penelope for more than 300 pages straight (duh! who isn’t ???).

    When you say envision, I suppose you mainly refer to the way those scenes will be filmed right ? I’m afraid I don’t have an advanced knowledge in film-making but let me start by telling you what elements need to be depicted. I would love Shonda and Chris to capture the real essence of our boos’ feelings : the yearning, the love, the respect and the guilt (specifically on Colin’s side) in their eyes. The more we move forward throughout the seasons, the more we see different layers of the perceptions of they have of each other, going from a childish idealization/immature ignorance to a sudden realization. A mature one. Penelope goes beyond the facade of the charming devil-may-care guy to meet the seriousness and temper of her significant other. Meanwhile Colin discovers how confident, powerful and attractive this woman is and always has been. It echoes what I’ve written about the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story in this meta. By the time season 4 hits, man... their heart eyes and eye-fucking will jump OUT XD, all fibers of their beings, burning with need. The fact that this evolution took literally years is very emotionally painful, which is why I find it important to keep the slowness aspect of their relationship before and during their love making. I’m really looking forward a slow build-up toward their intimacy. It would differ from Daphne and Simon who merely shared one hell of a kiss in Lady Trowbridge’s garden then shared their sexy times after they married or Anthony and Siena’s rough sex... In fact, there’s a certain (sweet) ardent tenderness in Polin I like due to the fact that they’re slowly (re)discovering each other, as adults. Since they were both introduced in season 1, the audience will have all the time in the world to notice numerous evidences of the many natures of love they have for one another : from an affectionate and friendly love to a more carnal and enduring one.

    Okay so, in terms of filming, with Netflix’s Bridgerton being a show which promotes the female gaze, it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise watching those sex scenes being shot from Penelope’s perspective, like it was the case with Daphne in the first installment of the series. Most of the time, sex scenes in Historical Romance are not gratuitous. Their presence serve an important purpose in a hero/heroine’s journey. In Penelope’s case, they’re here to help her learn to embrace and love herself. In other words, sexuality is synonym of freedom. I don’t know if they’ll show a lot of skin, but I won’t be complaining considering the fact that we’ll have the chance to get a chief kiss treat on screen : a plus size woman in a major successful Netflix period drama getting a love story as romantic and steamy as other more “fit” female characters. No, your weight doesn’t prevent you from being desirable at all. As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t watched a plus-size female character portrayed as an attractive protagonist in a period drama (please if you have, let me know, I can be wrong). Having a beautiful half bare curvy body like Nicola’s being equally filmed like numerous slim actresses will be so inspiring and powerful to watch, especially for (young) women who struggle, like Penelope, to love their body shape which, to them, doesn’t “fit” the “beauty standards”. By showing her female gaze and portraying her as seductive, Pen’s “supposed” imperfections transform themselves into mighty assets, loved and worshipped by our dashing Mister Bridgerton. That’s body positivity at its finest darling ;).

    It will be deliciously erotic watching the undressing process being exquisitely slow, garment by garment, while their gaze are all heated and hungry. Their sex/make-out scenes should be tender and passionate, sweet and raw. The lightning, colored by a dark blood orange yellow or a blue depending the locations^^. Moreover, the depiction of the exploration of Penelope’s desire can translate itself thanks to multiple close ups. For instance, I can imagine a few ones on Pen’s fingers gently roaming over the smooth skin of Colin’s firm chest and back/touching his hair right after he removed his shirt. And a disheveled Colin letting his hands and lips making a journey of their own, mapping, conquering the alluring unknown territory that is her gorgeous voluptuous body... kissing her on the places he knows oh too well will give her pleasure (is this me wanting him to go down on her?— um yeah I sure hope it IS! If he doesn’t, trust me imma riot... AGAIN). Even a close up on her face while Colin is performing his addictively pleasing torment will be a marvelous proof of the female gaze. By the way, why not even adding a post-coital scene after their first time ? I can picture Penelope waking up first and contemplate her handsome soon-to-be husband. She’d bring her hand to his face and let it travel all around his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his neck and let it rest on his heart— making sure that what she’s just experience was real... obviously, Colin will wake up in the process and he’ll take this as his cue to go for another round of sexy times under the sheets.

   Showing Pen reaction is essential according to me because she was stuck with the idea that she would never experience the luxury of being loved, giving pleasure nor receiving it... she ended up being happily wrong. Throughout her multiple intimate encounters with Colin, I want her to progressively realizes that she can be an active partner. In the carriage, she knew she had an effect on him, but it’s not until their first time that she actually realizes it. Hence the reason why I WANT the mirror’s introduction in one of their sex scenes. Here’s as a little reminder an excerpt from chapter 18 :

“I want to see you sitting up," he groaned, "so I can see them full and lovely and large [about Pen’s breasts]. And then I want to crawl behind you and cup you." His lips found her ear and his voice dropped to a whisper. "And I want to do it in front of a mirror."

“Now?” she squeaked.

He seemed to consider that for a moment, then shook his head. "Later," he said, and then repeated it in a rather resolute tone. "Later.”

   It would be such a shame if the show doesn’t use the incredible potential of this object (/kink). I mean, the symbolism is pretty clear. Penelope has always fled her “ugly” reflection but it seems like Colin wants to show the real her, the beauty that holds every single inch her alabaster skin and the effects they have on him. Thus, I would love to watch a scene where Colin just praises the alluring goddess and siren that is Penelope Featherington. Just imagine! Just IMAGINE the power of this scene : a shirtless Colin sitting behind her on a bed, meeting her gaze in the mirror, his lips touching her right ear, biting and licking the lobe sometimes, whispering all kinda of dirty yet poetic words to her while letting his hands caress her thighs, her hips, her arms, her lovely bosoms™... oof. At the same time, a wonderful and harmonic instrumental music will play in the background and match the melodic partition of shudders, breathes and moans let out by our lovers. I can imagine Luke inspiring himself from his performance in the 2019 short film, Youth In Bed. The way he conveyed the awe and the yearning on his face, in his eyes with his mouth slightly open when he knelt before his partner Shun Yin was just captivating and— and so Colin! I cannot help but bring myself to picture Ethan, the character he played in YIB, in a Polin steamy scene. I cannot unsee this anymore jsksk. I mean, all this gifset radiates this book4chapter18!Colin, you cannot tell me otherwise!

    Also, I would love Shonda and Chris to keep Pen and Colin’s cute/emotional pillow talk. One thing I really love in JQ’s books is the concern she gives to her male protagonists about potentially hurting their partner during the act of penetration. Colin is a rake, and what his experience with women taught him is that he needs to be very gentle with the love of his life. It was so adorable seeing him not wanting to harm her and asking her to tell him if he does anything she doesn’t like 🥺. Plus, before actually doing it, Colin and Penelope shared a few kisses and just laid down side by side, confessing their love. Though our boy kept feeling guilty about not returning her love after all these years. He desires nothing but to make up for the lost time and show his love and desire during this special intimate moment. I hope they’ll keep all of chapter 18’s dialogue. It’s just so telling of our boos’ feelings, you see.

    All in all, I can’t wait to watch those Polin steamy scenes. As much as I may sound crazy, I want them after two other seasons of pure pining and yearning in order to have a very good payoff. I’m not an expert on depicting intimacy on screen, but I loved so far what Lizzy Talbot, the intimacy coordinator who worked on the show, have done in season 1. Sex scenes in Bridgerton seem very real and dive you in the intimacy of the moment, leaving you all flustered and hot. So probs to her! I have faith in her work and have no doubts about what her and the directors will serve us in future seasons. Though, in the end, I think it’s mostly up to the actors, Nicola and Luke, to see if they’re comfortable filming sex scenes.

    If you guys have any suggestions or wishes for those steamy polin scenes, please do share them :) by commenting on this post or by sending me asks! I’d love reading your thoughts/take on this very important matter ;)) 

[akajustmerry]

I posted 3,647 times in 2021

1014 posts created (28%)

2633 posts reblogged (72%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.6 posts.

I added 2,345 tags in 2021

#tv - 422 posts

#films - 390 posts

#anon - 381 posts

#people - 364 posts

#text - 240 posts

#marvel - 197 posts

#music - 95 posts

#art - 87 posts

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#palestine - 82 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#the worst part is 🤢 the worst part is 🤢 when i met him at a dw event he was even dressed as 🤢 even dressed as 🤢 i can't even say it

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

there's something lorde touches on in her latest guardian interview that I want to talk about and this is not a dig at her specifically, but a common idealist fantasy I've observed in white ppl under 25 is the desire to run away from society and start their own communities where they can heal etc and, look, I get it. I do. but please remember, no matter where you go you are on Indigenous lands. all this fantasy talk of running away and living in the woods/starting a community is premised on the colonial assumption the land is empty and unoccupied, and waiting for you to claim your dreams on it. I hope I don't need to tell you what atrocities that kind of thinking led your ancestors to do. A LOT of ✨cottagecore✨ is actually just cutesied up Nativism. if you care about the Earth, the most important, radical and vital action you can take is being an ally to Indigenous peoples and supporting Indigenous sovereignty. Not doing so is just being complicit in colonialism, no matter how "green" or in tune with the Earth you think you are. Indigenous peoples cared over this planet and its resources for 1000s of years without harming either. A better future for all of us lies in Indigenous autonomy and sovereignty and land back. Nothing more, nothing less.

6880 notes • Posted 2021-06-26 13:32:08 GMT

#4

feels like a good time to remind y’all who herald harry styles as some god of dismantling toxic masculinity that he’s a whole fucking zionist so while you’re calling out demi lovato’s pro-Israel bullshit, hope you’re doing that for ur white man fave too

7029 notes • Posted 2021-05-21 04:07:14 GMT

#3

the whole stick with Tom Holland always spoiling things or whatever is a marketing stunt by Disney and has been from the very beginning and I know this because Andrew Garfield was ACTUALLY fired from spiderman and blackballed by Sony for saying things in interviews that the company did not want him to say i.e. how he wanted Peter to bi, how he thought elements of spiderman was racist, etc. if Tom Holland was actually doing ANYTHING Disney didn't want him to he would not be here. and even tho it's cute n funny whatever it makes me so fucking angry that Tom Holland has his whole career in film thanks to the fucked up way Sony got rid of Andrew Garfield Spiderman in the first place that to act like Tom is doing ANYTHING remotely rebellious relating to his role in marvel is just the biggest fuck you to Andrew Garfield. fuck mcu spiderman.

15360 notes • Posted 2021-03-02 01:51:08 GMT

#2

thinking about how britney spears, brendan fraser and chadwick boseman were all memed at incredibly low points in their personal lives for clout and how poeple only apoligised after learning the context of those images for them. maybe a better goal than ridding the world of celebrity worship is treating famous people with humanity, not worshipping, not villainising, not joking, not assuming- but just treating people in the public eye with the humanity you’d extend to any other person that you don’t know.

17003 notes • Posted 2021-08-16 04:55:48 GMT

#1

there’s a part of elliot page’s interview with oprah i can’t stop thinking about where he talks about the amount of energy he has now (physically, creatively, mentally) because he’s no longer spending every waking moment fighting his panic, deppression and anxiety surrounding his gender. he even says how he can’t remember having this much energy since he was a kid. and i’m just...so happy for him! because u can see it! you can see it in how he’s sitting comfortably and smiling and talking enthusiastically, and god i wish that euphoria and peace on every trans person and every person whose energy is being consumed by invisible struggles they’re facing. i know i hope to find that energy again someday too. 

55411 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 12:38:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[justalarryblog]

📝See You When I Get Home by @fournipplesau (10k) | Explicit

“What are you thinking about?” He repeats Louis’ question from earlier.

“You.” Louis’ reply comes out in a moan. It shocks Harry, and his brain scrambles for the right thing to do, the right thing to say. He doesn’t even know how to feel, or if he even heard Louis correctly.

“Me?”

📝Stillness Is The Move by @turnyourankle (2k) | Explicit

Harry fails to follow instructions and requires punishment.

📝And I know he’ll be the death of me, at least we’ll both be numb by @capturethesunset (3k) | Not Rated

Louis getting wrecked by jealous Harry.

give and take by @sky_reid (1k) | Explicit

sometimes louis just needs.

📝English help? More like Fuck me. by orphan_account (5k) | Explicit

Oh he’s much more than just a student. He’s enchanting and enticing and just pretty and Louis wants to touch. Just wants to devour him, it doesn’t fucking matter if it happens in his own classroom either.

📝When I hear your cries, praying for life. (I will be there) by @brokenbeauty (5k) | Explicit

Well, I figured we needed Larry birthday sex, soooo….. ;))))

📝hop hop hop by orphan_account (3k) | Explicit

Suddenly, Harry’s slipping down his jeans, and Louis gasps as he’s met with a very unexpected but delicious sight. A mass of fur nestles between Harry’s cheeks, matching with the pink of the inner part of his bunny ears.

Or, the one in which Harry wears bunny ears and a bunny butt plug and Louis proceeds to fuck him.

📝I’m Gonna Love You (Until You Hate me) by @sweaterpawstyles (8k) | Explicit

As if reading his mind, Louis glanced over his glasses at Harry, presumably because Harry didn’t reply to his statement earlier.

“I decided to get my glasses out again,” he chuckled, winking at Harry. “Do you like them?“

Harry felt his face heat up. No, he didn’t just like them. He fucking loved them and wanted to ride Louis and call him daddy while he wore them. But he didn’t want to just tell Louis this.

Or

Louis wears glasses and Harry doesn’t like to be teased

📝sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me by @moonlightlouis (4k) | Not Rated

harry’s been a naughty boy and needs to be punished and louis is there to do it

📝shit, i still love you (still see you in bed) by @Wankerville (10k) | General Audiences

Harry hums, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, “I want daddy to fuck me in the gold booties he got me for my birthday.”

or, it’s valentine’s day and harry wants to be fucked in his gold boots

📝daddy daddy cool by @sky_reid (6k) | Explicit

harry wakes up hard.

📝Yes Daddy, I Will by @recklessandbrave (9k) | Explicit

Louis smirks, arms crossed while admiring the scene in front of him. He had Harry exactly where he wanted him; desperate while blindfolded and tied up, and he was loving it. He feels drunk off the sight of his boyfriend spread out for him, naked, hard, and needy.

Or the one where Harry distracts Louis while he works and gets the punishment he deserves, and so badly wants.

Part 1 of Pastel

📝Make Him Want to Sin by @QuickedWeen (9k) | Explicit

The stranger’s sharp gaze landed on him immediately, the eye contact shattering through Harry’s defenses. For the first time in his life, Harry had an instantaneous reaction to someone. The man stared down at him with interest, like he wanted to take Harry apart and put him back together again, piece by piece. Harry wanted that more than anything, and he wanted it right now. It took every ounce of strength he had ever possessed to not drop down to his knees instinctively.

All from one glance.

📝welcome to the mansion by @blankiehxrry (7k) | Explicit

Harry is a Playboy bunny.

📝12 Hours by @1975sam (2k) | Explicit

If two people who hated/couldn’t stand each other got stuck together in an elevator for 12 hours, what would happen?

📝A Million Years by @sunflowerstyles (3k) | Explicit

Louis always ends up feeling guilty that he’s not ready to give Harry what he wants. Harry shows him how much fun they can have while they wait together.

📝But I’ll Still Take You Home by @LoadedGunn (9k) | Explicit

“So how old does that make you?”

It takes Harry a second. “Twenty.”

Louis arches an eyebrow. No matter how morally dubious that makes him, this boy is not twenty years old. “Bullshit.”

Harry pinches his bottom lip between two long fingers. “Eighteen.”

“What is this, a missile launch?”

Harry giggles. “Seventeen.”

Or, Harry is 17 at a college party, and Louis is not Brian Kinney.

📝can i stay the night by @frappeniall (3k) | Explicit

Louis pulled away and stood up, ‘This.. This is wrong. You’re 16.’

‘17 in 6 minutes,’ Harry interjected, ‘If that helps.’

[harry has a crush on his older neighbor, louis, and stays the night at his house when he gets in trouble with the police]

📝Can’t help but touch myself by @Tita (7k) | Explicit

“I asked what these were, love.” Harry gulps. “Panties,” he explains with heated cheeks, needing more than the light touches from Louis and getting nothing. “What did you get them for? Were they to impress someone else?” He asks, and Harry shakes his head fervently, stumbling over his words as he tries to get his tongue to cooperate. “No, no,” he emphasizes, arching his back to plaster himself to Louis. “For you, always for you, Daddy.”

📝Champagne by @fanshae (2k) | Explicit

“Look at how pretty you are,” Louis murmurs, Harry’s stockinged toes curling against the floor at the praise, “Give Daddy a twirl, baby.”

📝Dance Floor Whore by @ropewithnoanchor (7k) | Explicit

Louis and Harry go to a club while on tour to blow off some steam, but Harry gets too drunk and lets another man dance up on him in front of everyone. Louis takes him back to their hotel and spends the next morning punishing Harry, making Harry work to make it up to him.

📝foreign but not different by @frappeniall (2k) | Explicit

When Harry signed the papers, he had no idea what he was getting himself into. All he knew was that he had good grades and that he was sick of his mom and sister. So he convinced his mom to let him go to school in London for a year.

[harry is a foreign exchange student who stays with the tomlinsons]

📝Give It Up To Me by @krisstylinson (8k) | Explicit

“You’re going to end up making me come with all the boys in our lounge,” he finished, his tone softening the longer he spoke.

“And?” Harry murmured, placing his palm over the crevice of Louis’ arse, keeping the plug nice and tight inside of him. “What if I wanted you to?”

Or the cliché where Louis isn’t supposed to come but he does, and that can’t go unpunished in Harry’s eyes.

📝I can feed your appetite by @dirrtylarry (5k) | Explicit

During a meal out with the other boys, Harry teases Louis to get what he wants.

📝I’m Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by @Phillipa19 (6k) | Explicit

Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.

OR- Louis is Harry’s sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.

📝it ain’t trickin’ if ya got it by @sarcasticfluentry (10k) | Explicit

Louis raises an eyebrow and smirks. “You have to ask nicely, Harry.”

They’ve never really played like this before, and Louis is a little out of his element but he finds that they’re both falling effortlessly into their roles (and not just because Louis is good at acting).

Harry’s too overwhelmed, though, to say anything without first gasping, “I c-can’t - god, I can’t believe you - please, Daddy, please put it inside?”

… or, 28-year-old blockbuster actor Louis Tomlinson rushes home to give his 20-year-old model boyfriend Harry a good seeing-to after a particularly provocative Instagram post and, in his excitement, alerts the entire world. Featuring daddy kink, anal beads, and feelings.

📝Just One Night by @LovelyAnon (7k) | Explicit

Louis is upset and goes to a bar to drown his worries. Harry shows up. Sex ensues. What more is there to say?

📝just one step at a time by @hickeylou, @sowearegay (10k) | Explicit

Louis is insecure and Harry has trouble sometimes.

📝just want to make love to you by @beautlouis (3k) | Explicit

Louis has a lapful of Harry before the car has even closed and maybe he should be a bit concerned about that, judging from the look in Liam’s eye, but it’s hard to worry about anything when Harry’s wriggling against him, warm and insistent.

“’m so hard,” Harry pants against his ear, “Been this way since we got off the stage, want–want you to fuck me, yeah, I want–”

*the aftermath of the xfactor performance where harry went wild

📝Mark Me Up (My Skin’s Yours to Touch) by @eyesofshinigami​ (2k) | Explicit

They stumble into their bedroom and Louis’ is immediately pushed onto the bed, Harry scrambling after him. Shaky hands pull down his joggers right under his arse and Harry’s tongue circles around the still tender skin, never touching it directly. Despite the heat and desperation between them, Harry’s almost reverential in his touches. “‘s for me, Lou?” he slurs between passes of his tongue. “A place that only I can see?”

Or the one where Harry gets to appreciate Louis’ new tattoo.

📝my one and own (i wanna get you alone) by @beautlouis (6k) | Explicit

Louis’ favorite thing to do is make Harry come. It’s the best feeling in the world, watching the boy he loves fall apart underneath him; to see how good it feels for Harry, in every line and movement of his body.

Louis pushes a thigh between Harry’s and grinds just enough that Harry sighs gently and ruts his hips back into Louis. Holding Harry’s waist firmly, Louis presses his lips into Harry’s ear and says, “I think I’d like to make you come.”

It isn’t as if they don’t both know that’s what tonight is—Louis making Harry come—but the verbal acknowledgment of it makes Harry moan sharply and turn his head to try to pull Louis into a kiss.

📝my youth is yours by @skarshes (6k)| Not Rated

“They shake hands and when they’re finished, Louis stands up to go shake Harry’s hand. He doesn’t understand why Harry is gawking at him until he realizes that he’s still dressed in a pair of blue lacy boyshorts. He blushes, but the response from Harry is the best, his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are wide. Louis shakes his hand and welcomes him before leaving to go finish his last part of the photoshoot. Harry is still standing there with his mouth wide open when Louis walks out.

Oh, this is going to be so much fun, Louis thinks to himself as he gets in position for the next photo set.”

Or: Louis is a model and Harry is his assistant. Cue the instant attraction, flirting, a little bit of smut, a little bit of angst, but a happy ending.

📝nominae by @pressedpeachpits (2k) | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis is Harry’s beautiful acting professor, and Harry is an awkward college freshman with a crush on said teacher. After a slip up with what name to call him, Harry finds himself in a world of embarrassment, obsession, and lots of support from his roommate Niall.

Or, the one in which Harry calls his teacher Daddy, but it isn’t as bad as he expected

📝One day to believe in you by @mediaville (7k) | Explicit

A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it’s really inconvenient.

Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. “You think about me when you get off?”

“Yes,” Louis says. He wonders how hard he’d need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.

“Often?”

“Yes, Christ, Harry,” Louis groans. “Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I’ve been visiting family. Anything else you’d like to know?”

📝Skipping Heartbeats by @1dfetusfics (3k) | Mature

Louis doesn’t talk much and for some reason he has a queasy feeling in his belly whenever he’s around boys now, especially around Harry.

📝so defiant, little one by orphan_account (4k)| Not Rated

Louis refuses to talk to Harry when the older man doesn’t buy him the necklace he wanted, and in return Harry teaches him to be grateful when they get home.

📝sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me by @moonlightlouis (4k) | Not Rated

harry’s been a naughty boy and needs to be punished and louis is there to do it

📝Sweet Dreams by @dormant_bender (5k) | Explicit

When fantasies become reality.

📝Talk To Me, Baby by orphan_account (3k) | Explicit

Harry loves to talk and whisper little things to Louis during sex. Louis is pretty quiet, loves it, but just listens. But one day Harry really wants to hear Louis say some of the dirty things he loves Harry to do to him, so Harry really encourages Louis to talk to him during sex. Louis is self-conscious at first but then they really get into it and amazingness happens.

📝Thank the Hotel by orphan_account (4k) | Explicit

The hotel messed up the boys’ reservations for after their Red Nose Day performance, causing Louis and Harry to share a single bed hotel room. When Harry wakes up to Louis having a wet dream, he just can’t help himself. He’d have to remember to thank the hotel later.

📝Untitled sugardaddy fic by orphan_account (2k) | Explicit

Harry comes home from a long day at work and has his way with his baby. (That’s Louis.)

Or

The one with all the daddy kink sex and spanking. It’s pure pwp.

📝Wake Me Up by @larrystylins (2k) | Explicit

Harry stretches and accidentally pushes his bare bum into Louis’ crotch. Oh. That’s definitely Louis’ cock. Okay that’s definitely the outline of Louis’ hard cock pressing against him. “Lou?” he whispers. Of course Louis is fast asleep..

or Harry wakes up to Louis’ morning wood pressed against his bum. Harry gets needy. Louis wakes up and punishes him.

📝You Don’t Need Me To Show The Way by@LoadedGunn (6k) | Explicit

But right there, on Harry’s iPod, is a folder entitled Lou Sappy Sappy Long Indie Hipster 80’s Love Songs Mixtape.

Louis expects a sappy mix tape. He might even expect his own shitty versions of Foo Fighter songs. What he doesn’t expect is clicking on “AUD-20101223” and suddenly hearing loud moaning. He gasps and scrambles to pause it, so shocked the iPod drops right to Harry’s stomach. Harry looks absolutely mortified, even more than he did when Louis played High School Musical. He’s blushing so furiously his face bypassed rosy straight to flaming red, and his mouth is closing and opening like he can’t think of a single thing to say.

Then Louis starts laughing uproariously. “Hiiii, I’m Harry from Cheshire, when I’m on the road I like listening to indie music and gay porn.”

Or, 2011 fic where Harry rides dick for the first time and Louis appreciates technology.

✨You can also check My Fic Tags for more fics! ✨📝

[threeeyesslitthroat]

So I watched Chaos Walking(2021)

Yeah, lucky for me, my local theater was open and showing(side note, I love my local theater so much. Like, not to brag but seven dollars for a movie and a snack is so great)

Anyhow, I watched Chaos walking. This is sort of my review. 

First off, I read The Knife of Never Letting Go and one third of The Ask and Answer, almost two years ago. When they finally dropped the release date and the trailer, i made the choice not to go reread the first book because i wanted to give the movie a chance and make an exercise of managing my expectations(in preparation for Disney’s Percy Jackson adaptation). Which means not only do I not have a complete understanding of the source material, but I also have a shit memory, so I don’t have a great shot at analyzing this films in adaptation terms, but i’m gonna try anyhow.

So first off, The Noise.

I found it a bit sketchy that they decided to make the make Noise have visual elements alongside audio but I decided it was fine, since it be pretty hard to bring this to life with only just audio and not make general audiences confused.

But they did try and do a solid job. Minus not letting us hear the Noise of animals, which sucks. we do see the Noise of a Spackle, but briefly.

The part that really pisses me off is the final confrontation, when the Noise is treated like a Super Power. we see this when Todd scares Davy’s horse by conjuring up an image of big snake, when Mayor Prentiss tricks Viola into a false trap, when  Ben tricks everyone by pretending to give Viola up when in fact he’s buying Todd and the real Viola time to get away, and in the final, Todd distracts Prentiss by conjuring up the image of his mother(complete with bloody wounds) and the various women that died when he was a baby, which caused Prentiss to fall to his death.

I don’t know how the Noise is depicted in the later books, if it was anywhere remotely like this, but i know for sure it doesn’t happen in the first book, which the film is based on.

(Also, how the fuck does Todd know what his mum looks like, or any of the other women and how is he able to bring up their images so perfectly how is ANYONE ABLE REMEMBER SOMEONE WITH THAT MUCH DETAIL That goes beyond photographic memory)

Second bit, the Spackle.

 The design is boring. Its clearly an alien, buts its dark grey, tall, holds its own when Todd attacks it in the film, has zero impact on the film as a whole and pretty boring. I do recall reading the book and imagining them to have faces similar to real world lemurs or Sloths, with big expressive eyes and such, but the CGI monster doesn’t emote for shit in this film. Todd comes at with a knife with every intention of killing it and it shrugs him off and walks away like it wasn’t fucking attacked my gods.

But in short, they only brought up the Spackle because they’re a thing in the world and it teased the bigger concepts of the next books with like, one measly exchange between Todd and Viola. (it went something like this)

Viola:We’re the aliens, though. They’re the natives.

Todd: huh.

Third bit, New World itself. Not a big deal, It looked like how i originally imagined it, no mention of swamp apples, though we see Todd Hewitt use a knife to stab a big ass bug thing for food. i hear some critics consider it lame that the planet isn’t actually alien but eh, whatever, Didn’t really feel an alien vibe reading the book so it doesn’t matter. 

Now there’s one bit i have to acknowledge in passing. At one point Todd decides to go get lunch by going into the water with his knife and wrestles with some big ass thing with tentacles. Which is fine, just have a couple of questions.

A: is this in reference to the books? Where there big ass tentacle creatures in the novel that are hunted for lunch?

B:if not, was this the film makers deciding to remind the viewers that yes, they are not on planet earth and to make Todd look cooler and justify why he’s useful for the quest and show how much Viola doesn’t know?

I kinda have to acknowledge the thing.  In that scene, Todd and Viola take a break, and Todd removes his clothes (all of them) and decides to go hunting in the water naked as the day he was born. You may have noticed that the Tom Holland stans are all over this scene because One) the camera focuses on Tom Hollands muscles when he takes his top off and Two) one can see his bare ass in the distance. 

Not a big fan off this, just find it interesting because its the most recent example of a Male being objectified by the camera when this never happens once to any of the female characters in the film, including Viola. Also, a touch of weird character detailing because haha, get it? Boy’s never seen a girl before in his life and doesn’t know what modesty means.

Also, very weird because Todd Hewitt in the book was so fucking self conscious that he would never have done that. 

Now I gotta talk about the characters.

( i understand why they aged them up, i truly do, better to get established actors instead of child actors that could more easily break to movie than sell it. its easier to make movies with legal adults instead of working with child labor laws. but damn it you lose so much of the fucking nuance of the novel when you age them up. There’s so much shit that makes an impact because of how young they are. Around the ages of eleven and twelve is when ones understanding of good and evil has its foundation, to me it was like the story was grappling with Todd Hewitt’s very soul and you lose so much of that when you change it to them being older because instead of being just kids in fucked up situations its younger adults in messed up situations. Like ugh. and aging them up leads to even more problems but we’ll fucking get to that)

Tom Holland’s Todd Hewitt is not the Todd Hewitt of the novel. He just ain’t. There is nothing there that reminds of the boy. The acting is solid, don’t get me wrong, but it just ain’t the Todd Hewitt i remember. Neither is Daisy Ridley’s Viola Eade.

(excuse me while i get Percy Jackson flashbacks)

Now, I have to acknowledge the fact that neither actor(actually none of the actors in this film) slouch on the job. They bring solid and at times very good acting.(If Tom Holland is in the film, its not going to be complete waste of time. He brings quality.)

Honestly, respect to Mr Holland because he was basically the main character, not only acting but also doing voice  and various stunts(also huge credit to the stunt coordinators and stuntmen) and I heard that filming wasn’t that great and bloody broke his nose how many times like damn boy, hats off to you.

But here’s the thing. I don’t want to say that Holland was playing himself or just a version of peter Parker, because i really don’t think he wasn’t but it just. Didn’t feel like a legit character? Especially when compared to the novel. Like Todd Hewitt in the novel is such a raw force of emotion and such a smartass and i was so looking forward for Holland to own this role but in the movie he just? Awkward dude going through some stuff?

but yeah, Holland works his ass off and there are some scenes and moments in the movie that work just because this fellow is just that charming, so (shrug emoji) like i said, He doesn’t waste your time at least.

Ridley....sigh. i know this woman can act. But next to the character who’s thoughts are heard constantly she’s very boring. And it hurts so much because Viola has an actual personality in the novel like; I’m ninety percent sure that Viola hits Todd with a big stick and I do remember that there were multiple moments where she lets Todd know when he’s being a dumbass.(seriously, i may have a shit memory of the book, but i do remember that they play off each other well and hugely entertaining seeing two twelve-year-olds handle the shit getting thrown at them)

Like, Viola in the film doesn’t really have much going on. We see the crash, we hear about the graves she dug herself, we see her be sad, we see her look at Todd like weirdo, we see her look horrified or shocked. (its so sad that I only remember the facial expressions more clearly than the actual dialogue) We really have no idea what the hell is going on with Viola Eade. I don’t think we can blame Ridley, only the film makers, because how can you see Viola Eade in the novel and then turn her into that????

i do have to talk about the relationship between Tom Holland’s Todd Hewitt and Daisy Ridley’s Viola Eade, even though its painful. In the novel, them is just two kids on a really tough adventure.  Because they aged them up, its not two kids old enough to run for the playground when recess starts. Its Teenagers. 

First question, HOW OLD ARE THEY??? Is Todd sixteen? Eighteen? Seventeen? He sure as hell ain’t Thirteen in this. What about Viola? I mean, big shout out to the hair and makeup team for making 28-year-old Daisy Ridley look so much younger but how. OLD. IS.SHE? Nineteen? Twenty? Twenty-one? Pretty sure she’s older than him in this? I ask because it MATTERS.

The way they play off each other has a vastly different energy to the novel because they are aged up. Its pretty obvious pretty fast that Todd’s feelings are basically a big crush, though not all of it is superficial as the film progresses. And Viola is clearly not receptive to that in the film. (honestly i cringed so hard at the “daydream kiss’ and whatever the hell that was in the Farbranch mayor’s house)

The relationship in the film just doesn’t have the nuance or the energy that the novel had in depicting their relationship which is depressing for all the Todd x Viola fans i’m sure. There’s some adorable bits though, like Viola seeing Todd’s dream of her playing with Manchee, and not so adorable canon bits like when Viola read the diary to Todd.

I’m just grateful that the film at least ended with them being friends instead of trying to force the romantic relationship. That right there is why I like the movie. It’s a crush, its used for a couple laughs, they’re friends, its fine. Even if you didn’t read the novel that’s really great for a movie in this day and age to not end with forcing two opposite sex characters into a relationship. To be honest, I like the idea that the film leaves us thinking that yeah, maybe these two could be real friends one day.

I just want to touch on Manchee real quick.

Manchee’s Noise is not seen or heard in the film. It is briefly acknowledged by Todd ins their first scene but other than that? Nada. Which is a low blow in comparison to the novel because Manchee was a character in his own right, which is why the death hit so hard. 

Todd?” he barks, confused and scared and watching me leave him behind. “Todd?” “Manchee!” I scream. Aaron brings his free hand towards my dog. “MANCHEE!” “Todd?” And Aaron wrenches his arms and there’s a CRACK and a scream and a cut-off yelp that tears my heart in two forever and forever. And the pain is too much it’s too much it’s too much and my hands are on my head and I’m rearing back and my mouth is open in a never-ending wordless wail of all the blackness that’s inside of me.”

in the film, it takes place in white rapids, So its chaotic, its awful, the veiwer’s all stressed out because Viola can’t swim, everyone's getting separated and Aaron’s there and he is seen drowning Manchee. 

Dude, its brief, but not pretty. Because you can see Manchee’s legs trashing above the water, struggling to get free. Aaron is drowning a dog, letting its lungs fill with water. For the folks that don’t like watching dogs die in graphic detail on screen, this isn’t great. 

Personally, I love this scene in the novel. Its the first time i had to put the book down and take a moment. It hit really close to home for me, because i watched my own dog die in real life. It was emotional and horrifying and had such a fucking impact because we could hear his thoughts. Todd had to make the choice to leave him behind to keep Viola safe. To be honest, i think the death is better in the novel, since Manchee basically dies instantly instead of drowning, which takes time(I’ve always assumed that his neck was snapped but I’ve heard others say it was the psine but whatever) it would have been easy and necessary for them to not show that on screen. I personally just think that in terms of depicting a violent death, the novel did a lot better.

Anyway, on to the other characters

(I had to choose the one with the big orange fluffy coat, and i couldn’t find a good pic og Ben and Cillian on google images.)

As for Mayor Prentiss, he’s played by Mads Mikkelsen, and he delivers. But for the most part, we don’t really know why he’s the bad guy, he just wants to get Viola because “she’s the key” which isn’t really explained, and at the end he tries his hardest to kill Todd. 

Because i only read the first book, I don’t know what exactly his character arc is. And since its been a really long while, I don’t remember what he’s like in the novel regardless, other than the cliffhanger ending.

I did take a quick crashcourse  through the wiki and it turns out that Todd and Prentiss have a relationship in the later books, which the film sort of touches on, because Todd looks up to Prentiss in the film from the get go. 

To be honest, I knew that the trilogy was a lot more complex, and even though I didn’t read the whole thing I knew it would be really disappointing for the fans to see the mayor be hollowed out to almost unrecognizable and not getting to see the whole picture on screen.

As for Davy Prentiss Jr., he was an asshole and stayed an asshole. I know he improves and gets killed off in the novels, so yeah, exhibit B of character foundations not being laid down because there isn’t gonna be a movie after this. Also, why is he played by Nick Jonas? Did they actually have more in mind for him when they decided to go with a Jonas brother or was it just star power? 

As for Aaron...don’t have much to say about him, other than just being pretty weird fit to the film. I think he’s after Viola because he’s just that full of delusions but other than that, his character is just flat and useless. (I wish to the gods that writers would actually think instead of going with “religious delusion” to explain insanity) He only brought tension in a few scenes for the most part. I’m pretty sure that in the novel Todd and Aaron have a confrontation, like the final fight of the novel, and I’m 90% sure that its where the Novel gets the Knife of never Letting Go as its title, because the knife is big deal at that point. But I guess they wanted Viola to have a quick boss battle for the ending and set him on fire. 

Ben and Cillian were fine. They did a good job, the actors were pretty great, I liked Cillian, and i like how they acknowledged that these dudes were family(i know that they’re gay and a couple but the film doesn’t say it outloud beyond letting them sleep in the same bed, be Todd’s parents, and having Ben hold Cillian in his arms) I get a kick out of the fact that the official reviews by Movie Critics are openly curious about why the film doesn’t make it more obvious that they’re gay, but whatever.

As for the overall plot, this is a fine example of mashing three books into one film and not having good results. Instead of going to Haven, the movie decided to shortcut the ending and go to the original ship that somehow has working tech but whatever, Viola needs to communicate to her ship. So not only do we not get the great relationship between Todd and Viola, not only do we not get the Spackle, Not only do we not get to see the noise of Manchee, not only do we have poor character adaptation, we also don’t get to have a plot that matches THE ONE BOOK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO ADAPT. THEY HAD ONE FUCKING JOB AND THEY COULDN'T ADAPT THE ONE BOOK-

Its only so sad that they decided that this was going to be a one-shot deal because they didn’t have faith in the film and chose to have all the threads tied up. I mean, its so sad for the fans because the movie makes it very clear that we are not going to have anymore movies. sigh. 

slight respect towards the film makers for tying up all the story threads instead of leaving them hanging. they did a neat job, even if it wasn’t a great one.

Anyway, maybe later on when google images has more than the promotional material I’ll do a review of only the good stuff this movie did, even if its a sad pathetic failure of an adaptation. Anyway this review is a bit of a mess and already so long so i’ll stop now. 

May the gods give us strength against all the Tom Holland stans that will inevitably clog up the Chaos Walking tag with their Todd Hewitt x reader fanfics.

[rcksmith]

Secret — Five Hargreeves

Requests: “For Five Hargreeves — can I get 97, 91 28 and 35 for a heavy smut? And 40 from fluff? If it isn’t too much trouble!”

“If it’s not too much trouble could I do 40,53 & 91 from the smut prompts for Five ty honey 💕”

Smut prompts:

28. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

35. “Try to keep quiet. We don’t want to get caught.”

40. “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.”

53. “Well, since you want to cum so badly, why don’t we see how many times I can make you cum right now.

91. “guess i'll just have to cum in you then’

97. “You know, you always look so much better when I mark you up.”

Fluff prompts:

40. “Come cuddle.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I hope you guys like💖I decided to compile these two requests, since they were the same central plot. I added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. Good reading.

Guys, I really understand who doesn’t feel comfortable reading or writing Five’s smut. But I always say that I only write with him (any genre: romance, fluff or angst) with the notion that Five is 20 years old here. All of my fanfics mention swearing or sex, even if it is a memory or something shallow, but as I am writing with Five as an adult, it is consistent that the fic has aspects of an adult life.//

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: explicit heavy smut, swearing, fluff too.

— — — — —

It was one of those warm nights, which carry a searing and heaving sensation in the back, which had a malicious tone in the air, which stirs your body to choose bad decisions, making your hands itch and your heart racing for something...intense. It was one of those hours that passed midnight, that breath was heavy with the expectation of something extraordinary, that skin prickled just with the images in mind.

And you were in that state. Heart pounding heavily, yearning for something, caustic breathing, the environment with an energy of lust. Well, at least you was like that.

Five did not share your line of reasoning, or, if he were not oblivious to the malicious moonlight that rose in the sky, he was pretending very well. Sipping a margarita at the bar in the Hargreeves mansion, with calculations in front of him taking all his attention. Normally, you loved that he focused on his own things. But now... you were seething with something that only Five could placate.

It was a few months ago that you went from just being friends with his siblings to someone he fucked hard at night. The sexual energy between the two of you was very strong, and it was very easy to make bad decisions when the bad decision in question was so fucking hot.

Five Hargreeves did things to you. You wouldn't know how to explain it with clear phrases, but his gaze made you shiver, his body made a very specific part in the middle of your legs vibrate, and his voice and that self-centered smile... God!

It was no accident that you surrendered. You would have surrendered to that battle a million times.

“Five.” You sighed softly, taking a sip from your own drink. “Can't you do this tomorrow?”

“No. I am close to solving this.”

You controlled yourself not to roll your eyes. You were never the most needy type, especially with people as reserved as Five, but, damn it, you were on fire. It was logical that you could go out and choose someone to placate that, but that would trigger many things between Five and you. He hated that you were with someone else, even though he himself didn't assuming out to you.

It are a delicate situation, you were friends with all the Hargreeves siblings, and it would be a racket if they knew that their brother was fucking one of theys best friends.

The warm evening breeze came in through the window and collided with the chill of the drink running down your throat, awakening even more lustful anxieties.

“Five..." You purred, got up from the armchair on the counter, still behind Five and slid your hands over his shoulders "Maybe...you might want to finish this later.” You whispered at the foot of his ear.

Even without seeing him, you could feel that he was letting go of one of his arrogant and malicious smiles. Five rotated the seat to be face to face with you, his legs spread wider to accommodate you between them.

“And what are you going to do to distract me?” That same defiant, boastful voice.

But the look he gave you made a shock of desire reverberate through your body. Five wanted to play? Okay, you were going to play a game whit him.

“Why did you…” you leaned forward gently, resting one hand on his hot thigh, leaving your cleavage exposed “don't try guess?”

You realized that he had swallowed hard, even though his posture had remained unwavering. Five looked down at you cleavage, waist, and slightly elevated butt. You approached him a few more inches, your mouth a breath away, the heat of the bodies being shared without even touching.

Five could drive you crazy and screaming, but you knew it could also drive him insanity.

When you leaned over a little more and your mouths were so close to meet, you changed the direction and reached out with your free hand to pick up Five's margarita behind him. You straightened up and away, with a mischievous smile on your lips that revealed that everything had gone as planned.

Five semi closed his eyes at you, a fiery glow going through his eyes.

“Do you want to play with me?”His voice was low, dangerous “You know what happens to you when you challenge me.”

It was a warning, clear and resonant. You were a good girl for Five because you knew the strength that he could fuck you. Fuck, he could break you if he want. But now you were sexually frustrated, aroused, with a racing heart and wheezing from the expectation of something.

A night of bad decisions.

“You don't want to get out of your equations.” You turned your voice into something innocent, soft, provocative, and the strong breath that Five drew was a small victory for you "I guess I'll just get off all by myself."

Your smile was malicious, causticante, but as soon as Five got up from that chair, the perfect posture, much taller than you, and was slowly towards you, like a predator with its prey, you knew you were screwed.

“Do you want to come this much?” His fingers passed gently over your warm neck, and you let out a breath with that stupid touch.

Five moved closer, your chest glued to his, the hot, citrusy breath of alcohol hitting your nose. Something wetted you panties, making you bite the inside of your cheeks to keep from sighing any louder.

“Would you use your little toy thinking about the times that I fucked you so hard that you couldn't walk the next day?”

That was too much for your already sensitive system. Those words went directly to the thread that connected your heart and its pulsating nucleus, causing a burning note to reverberate.

“Five...”the sigh came out, while the memories of Five using your vibrator to push you to the limit, while him fucking you brutally, prowled like a wild beast in your mind.

Five slid the fingers from your neck to your cleavage, brushing the tips of her fingers across the flesh of your breasts. Five stuffed his forefinger into your cleavage and pulled you to him.

You moaned softly, in a purr.

“Such a needy little thing, aren't you?" The whispered floated in your ear, while you put down the margarita at the bar and held your hands in his arms.

You bit your bottom lip, your panties soaked, your heart beating fast in your chest, the atmosphere more wild and fiery.

“You want this?” Five slowly lowered a strap from your blouse, each second speeding up your heart even more.

“Yes...” You sighed “I really want to, please.”

Then Five's touch got rougher and he held your chin firmly, lifting you face to look him in the eye.

“Beg.” It was an order, but your body was sending millions of feelings to you that you were lost for a second "beg!”

“P-please.” You looked at him pleadingly “Fuck me so badly, please.”

His grip got stronger.

“Once again.” Now the other hand slid roughly over your body, squeezing your waist, thigh, ass, anything that Five could mark as his property.

“Please, I'm begging you to eat me.” You really were, your body needed more, and there was no denying it.

So in the blink of an eye, the blue flash swallowed you both up and took you to his room. You were dizzy for a second, you were not used to his tricks. But Five used it as a bonus and stuck his lips to yours, stunning you with the strong taste of alcohol, desire and lust.

You moaned softly, your hands working to free him from his clothes, your lips corresponding to the battle. You managed to strip off his shirt layers and fade his pants, but Five didn't have the same patience as you. He didn't wait to undress you, he tore the thin fabric and opened your bra hungry, in a hurry, as if you were his last meal.

In a second his hot mouth was on your breast, sucking and nibbling at the needy skin aggressively, his fierce hands pulling you out of the other pieces of clothing. Five was not delicate, loving and caring, he conquered, took, owned, his goal was to devour you until his savagery was sated.

“Fi-Five!” You moaned loudly, your naked body now shaking with desire, your heart exploding in your chest.

You would have said something more if Five hadn't pushed you to the bed and made you fall into it. He pulled your legs apart, exposing you completely to him. His eyes burned with a dangerous and brutal fire, and Five slapped down the inside of your thigh. You screamed, arching your back, your hands closing on the sheet.

“Well, since you want to cum so badly…” Five climbed on top of you, his mouth proving the point where he had hit you “why don’t we see how many times I can make you cum right now.”

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, his mouth was right in the middle of your pulsating core. Eating, sucking, tasting everything you willingly offered to him so much. You moaned, or screamed, your hands tightly squeezing the sheet, digging your nails into the fabric.

Five ate you at an undisturbed pace, as if you were the last meal in the desert, clasping his hands on your waist to keep you immobile, sinking his mouth deeper into you. His tongue opened its yours walls, circled her clitoris and sucked there, leaving a hot trail of spittle. You moaned loudly, your waist trying to fight the firm grip of his hands to roll in him mouth. You felt a thread about to burst inside you and your heart started to race in your chest.

“F-Five!” You screamed when he sucked your clitoris, and he could feel you pulsing in his mouth, signaling that you were close.

“Come for me, little slut.”

The vibration of his voice in your sensitive flesh was the trigger you needed, you came intensely, your legs wobbly, your breathing heavy, but Five didn't wait for you to finish coming before climbing on top of you, lowering his pants and underwear enough and brutally get inside you in a fraction of a second.

You groaned loudly, your hands clasping his bare shoulders, your walls hypersensitive to the end of the orgasm that was still breaking free. It was too much for you, your eyes stung with tears, your heart was racing a marathon in your chest, and your whole body was shaking.

Five doesn't give you a second to get used to it, or to get down from the sensation of your orgasms, he set a rough, hard, badly rhythm, entering inside you in penetrations that pushed your body upwards. You spread your legs wider and wrapped them around Five's waist, your chest glued to his chest, skin-to-skin contact being the extra to drive you crazy.

It was too much for you to take, too much for your hypersensitive body. Five silenced your broken moans with toxic kisses.

“Try to keep quiet. We don’t want to get caught.” His voice was hoarse, breathy, broken, Five drives his dick so deep inside you as possible with every word.

“I...I can't...”You whimpered in his mouth, clasping your hands in Five's hot flesh, sobbing at the strength he put in you, you needed more.

“So let's take care of it.”

Five released an aggressive and rough hickey on your neck, putting an arm around your waist, sticking every inch of their bodies together, and his free hand covered your mouth, drowning out yours screams. You thought it was going to placate his hard rhythm, but Five started pulling your waist down, against his dick, and sinking deeper inside you.

“You wanted me to fuck you, didn't you?” Five snarled, looking into yours watery eyes "Now take it, fuck!."

His dirty words only led you further towards the second abyss. Five fucked you so hard that you couldn't answer, let alone whit the heavy hand on your mouth. Yours hands sank into the skin on his back, yours legs pulling him hips towards you, desperate to placate what was about to burst.

Five could feel yours tight walls throbbing on his dick, signaling that you were going to come any second. He groaned loudly, clenching his teeth on the skin of your neck so as not to make a noise, thrusting his dick as deep as possible into you. He replaced the hand in your mouth with his own lips, swallowing yours moans and trying to keep the sounds of you both low.

“I ... I'm going to...” You cried with pleasure, pain, desire, his rhythm hurt but it gave you so much hunger and pleasure that you could feel the liquid of your arousal soaking his dick.

Five looked at you in a way full of lust and with a very desire to break you. Oh he wanted to destroy you.

He came out of you, making you let out a loud moan of frustration and tears streaming from yours eyes. You whimpered loudly, and Five switched positions and pulled you hard into his lap, giving you no time to straighten up before he pushed his dick into you and aggressively stuck both hands to your waist.

You bit your lip hard to keep from screaming, trembling hands resting on his chest as Five pulled you up and down brutally, thrusting his dick in as deep as possible in you. He did not contain an aggressive groan at the sight of yours breasts jumping on his face, body sweaty and marked by fingers and hickeys, the inside of yours thighs already red by the force that Five shocked the body in you.

“Pl ... please!”

You begged, your face smeared with mascara and tears, your lips red from raw kisses, your hair sweaty. You looked like a goddess and Five wanted even more to destroy you.

“Do you want to come?” His voice was breathless, hoarse, fierce.

You nodded frantically, looking at Five with beg, begging him to let you come. It seemed to have an overwhelming effect on him. Five slapped your ass down, raising his hand to your back and pulling you forward, making your chest lie on his while the rhythm reached new places.

You bit his shoulder to keep from screaming, tears streaming down your face.

“If you come in this position, I will not control myself.” He snarled at you.

“I do not mind!” You begged, moving your waist to match his rhythm.

“Guess i'll just have to cum in you then” Then Five kissed you, hard, bad, dropped a hand to your clitoris and applied the trigger you needed to collapse.

You sank your mouth into the skin of his neck to muffle your scream, and soon a hot, thick liquid was filling you to the brim, taking up every inch inside you. You whimpered loudly against Five, hims hips doing the final thrusts to make sure the cum was filling you, his warm hands loosening the aggressive grip.

You both breathed loudly, your legs were shaking, your hair was stuck to your face and it took you two minutes to lift your face and look at Five. He gave you an arrogant smile of ‘I said I was going to break you and I broke’ and you laughed softly.

“I don't think I can get up.” You laughed, and Five removed a lock of hair from your face. “Do you think they heard us?”

“They certainly heard you.” He scoffed.

“Coming from your room.” You snapped and Five laughed, hims chest still heaving and heaving, covered in a mist of sweat.

“Fuck them.” Five said, gently pulling your hips up, pulling the dick out of you, making you sigh a broken moan. “You are so sensitive!” He said between his teeth, as if he had never been satisfied with you.

You laughed, and shook your head, exposing your neck full of purple tick marks.

“You know…” Five took his index finger to the marks, delicately skirting them “you always look so much better when I mark you up.”

You pushed his shoulder slightly, rolling your eyes.

“Can we take a shower together?” Five nodded at you question. “ and…”

“And?”

“You know ...” yours cheeks became more flushed "Come cuddle."

Five laughed, his eyes tame now, an open smile and satisfied energy.

“We can.” he smiled and you gave him a passionate kiss on the lips.

[masterofmaagnetism]

11 and 28? I would give an f/o but idk who these would fit

[ ohoho fake dating + enemies to lovers i can’t resist ]

[ “Please just pretend to be my date.” (11) and “Please tell me this is a joke.” (28) ]

[ Characters: William Afton, Keegs Arrowood ]

[ warnings: pining and repressed feelings lol ]

“Please just pretend to be my date.”

Keegs stared at his boss, processing what the man just said to him. Did he seriously just ask for Keegs, arguably his worst enemy, to be his date? For a fucking office party that Fazbear Entertainment was holding for restaurant owners? Why couldn’t he just ask Henry???

“Please tell me this is a joke,” the mechanic finally replied, his answer gaining a groan from William. Apparently, it was not.

“We both know I don’t joke with you,” William responded, confirming Keegs’s fears. What kind of stupid, fruity hell had he descended into? What did he do to deserve this? Well, he probably knew.

Keegs let out a long sigh, about to tell him to fuck off before William spoke again. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re my last hope. Henry said no, Scrap would have killed me if I asked, not even your idiot friend Wrath wanted to go.”

Of course he didn’t want to go, Wrath was in love with Splice and would have considered it cheating even if he still hadn’t told the animatronic his feelings.

“I hate you...” Keegs muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why don’t you just go alone? No one will judge you for it, if you even care about that. And the rumour that you’re dating your employee would be worse!”

That seemed to make William think for a moment, opening his mouth for a rebuttal but closing it soon after. His gaze even drifted away- he clearly hadn’t thought about those consequences. After a moment, he shook his head.

“Being alone is more embarrassing.” Keegs let out a loud groan at this, running his hands over his hand and clasping them behind his neck as he turned away from that british fuck.

What made it worse is that he actually kinda wanted to go. Not because he wanted to go with William, but because he hadn’t had an excuse to dress up the entire time he’d been active. A big office party like this? It would be perfect. And it would give him the chance to scope out the other restaurant owners, and test their animatronic knowledge.

He finally turned to face William again, surprised to find the brunette still standing there. He had to admit, it was amusing to see him so desperate. He let out a huff a breath, giving in to the desire to wear a suit.

“Fine,” he said, not missing how his boss immediately lit up (while also somehow seeming disappointed- probably because he officially had to take his most hated employee to a function with him). “One condition.”

Of course he had a fucking condition. William just nodded, not wanting to push his luck. “Do not send anybody my way so they can talk to your “partner”. Tell them I’m socially anxious if you have to, but I will straight up tell them the horrors of this place.”

William’s face scrunched up in discomfort, but relaxed when he realized this was the best he was gonna get. “Deal.”

And so, it was set in stone.

---

Keegs straightened his jacket for what seemed like the hundredth time as he looked in the mirror in his bedroom. He’d have to leave soon; he didn’t want William to know where he lived, so they’d agreed that they’d meet at the Afton house instead.

The suit he wore fit perfectly, and was the same pink shade as his hair. Well, the jacket and slack were. His shoes were black, his shirt a light shade of lavender (to match William’s inevitably purple suit), and the little bowtie he wore was a rainbow eyesore.

With a quick glance at the clock, he ran a hand over his hair, said goodbye to Vanny, and headed out.

William’s house actually wasn’t too far from the apartment Keegs shared with Vanny, but he only came over at midnight and 2am, so it wasn’t like he could be tracked back there, so he never worried. This was the first time he’d ever driven there though, usually just walking.

He paused upon reaching the doorway. Did he really want to do this? And, more importantly, why was he excited to do it? He knew it was more than just a chance to dress up or interrogate some assholes. He didn’t like the metaphorical butterflies in his... well, he doesn’t really have a stomach. His intake?

....

He didn’t like the flutter in his chest when knocked on the door, and heard a familiar voice call out, “coming!” from inside. He especially didn’t like the extra flutter in his chest when the door opened and revealed William, dressed in a purple suit like he thought he’d be, but still surprising him nonetheless.

Apparently, Afton had the same idea Keegs did and was wearing a light pink dress shirt under his dark purple suit jacket, a shade that went perfect with the shade of Keegs’s own jacket.

Neither of them said anything about it, but Keegs couldn’t help but notice the pleased, and surprised, smile on his boss’s face.

“Let’s go,” he quickly said, turning on his heel and heading right back to his car.

---

William looked hilarious with his long limbs folded into Keegs’s volkswagen beetle, the car clearly not built for men as tall as him. It was a sight Keegs would treasure for the rest of his robotic life.

“Comfortable?” Keegs teased, snickering at the glare William shot at him. Thank god they were back to bullying each other, he wasn’t going to acknowledge whatever the fuck happened earlier without dying first.

“Laugh it up Arrowood, I doubt you’ll feel the same way when you’re out of your element,” William replied, narrowing his eyes at Keegs.

Unfortunately, and he’d never admit this, the bastard was right. Social functions weren’t Keegs’s thing. He’d never been good at feigning interest, and that was pretty important at shit like this.

But he just rolled his eyes. At least they’d be out of the car soon.

---

It wasn’t better out of the car.

The building the party was being held in was... crowded. Uncomfortable. Keegs ended up having to stick far closer to William that he’d planned, and whatever fucked up reaction his false human heart was having never let him forget it.

The only up side was that William seemed just as uncomfortable as he was. Not with the people around them, he spoke to them just fine and even seemed to forget about his fake date. That is, until Keegs bumped into him.

Of course he noticed that Afton’s face turned red whenever they touched, but he had no idea why. At first he thought he was angry, but William didn’t look like that when he got angry. Unfortunately, Keegs hadn’t reached the “human bodily reactions” part of his research yet, so it merely served to confuse him.

Finally, after three or four hours, he grabbed William’s arm to get his attention, ignoring the red on the man’s face. “I need a break. I’ll be out back. I probably won’t run.” 

There was a short pause, before William took Keegs’s car keys and pocketed them. “You won’t escape me that easily,” the man joked, only because there were people watching. He even threw in a wink for effect.

Keegs just rolled his eyes, and escaped to through the backdoor. He was quick to pull his jacket off, relishing the cool breeze. Once realizing he wouldn’t be going back in for a while, he also untied his tie and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt.

Once satisfied, he sat down on the bottom step of the little stairs, holding his palm against his forehead to cool it down to help with his headache. It wasn’t long before he heard the backdoor open and close.

There was a pause, before the man (undoubtedly William, based on the footsteps) made his way down the stairs and sat down next to Keegs. The android looked over at him, not at all surprised to find he’d also taken off his own jacket, and loosened his tie.

“Getting too much for even you? I’m glad I left when I did,” Keegs said, returning to his goal of soothing his brain. He heard William chuckle. It was a soft sound, clearly from his chest. But it was also... not rude? It was actually kind of sweet.

And then he sighed, and the sound brought that flutter back. “I would seem so, yes. I forgot how draining it is to talk to idiots.” He meant people who weren’t handy with animatronics, something Keegs had learned from observation (eavesdropping).

Keegs just nodded. He understood. Animatronics were his whole life, it was hard to talk about anything but them.

“Thank you for coming with me,” William spoke up after a while, making Keegs look up at him again. “I know we don’t always get along, but I’ve... enjoyed it. Getting along, I mean.”

The mechanic just stared at him, surprised. He opened his mouth to presumably reply, but William leaned forward quickly and caught him in a gentle, cautious kiss.

Keegs shocked himself by returning it.

William’s lips were soft, and easy to lean into. Keegs suddenly understood how this man had ended up with a wife. He felt a hand in his hair, and leaned into it without breaking the kiss, unwilling to break the moment.

He’d noticed the tinge of alcohol on Afton’s lips the second they’d connected with his own, but he didn’t care all that much. 

Finally, William broke it by leaning back, looking down at Keegs with slightly pink lips. “Between us?” he asked, his voice low and quiet, a small smile on his face. ‘Between us’ was a fun little thing they’d started the first time Keegs found the man covered in blood.

But this one was different. This one meant a lot more, and couldn’t be used at evidence against the man Keegs was supposed to eventually kill.

“Between us,” Keegs replied just as softly, and this time... he meant it.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E92 (Jan. 28, 2020)

This week’s guests are Laura Bailey and Marisha Ray!

Announcements: At 4 PM Pacific on February 4, season 2 of All Work No Play premieres! Pre-sale tickets for autographs and photo ops for C2E2 are available now via Epic Photo Ops! Lots of “super-secret but majorly exciting announcements” to come this week on the website!

Episode 92: Home Is Where the Heart Is

Stats for this episode: it has been 69 episodes, 6 levels, and 212 Exandrian days since the Nein last saw the reformed bandits. The Nein haven’t killed anyone since episode 86, a campaign 2 record (Laura: “I know, I’m aching!”). Jester cast her 50th Guidance spell this episode (on herself), and it’s been 50 Exandrian days since the Nein last partook of a bottle of Lionett wine together in Trostenwald.

On initial expectations vs. reality for their characters’ fathers: Laura: “I had no notion of what he was going to be. I literally wrote that he wooed my mom, that he wore lots of rings on his fingers, and that he went off to get his place ready to come meet him, and that was all.” She notes that she knew Jester was half-water genasi, but she wasn’t there the first time they met the Gentleman to ask any leading questions. Marisha: “I had this struggling panic for a while. I didn’t know how he was going to play him. There was a strong possibility in my head that my parents were great, and were just like, ‘We were trying so hard, we’re so sorry.’ It was pretty crazy the way he actually played it. And it did feel like, he sucks, yeah, okay, no.”

On Fjord’s heart-to-heart with Beau: “I felt like Beau and Fjord had good pirate-ship bonding time. It’s been a bit since Beau and Fjord checked in, so that was a cool Fjord-Beau moment that was nice to have, like, we’re still bros, it’s great.”

Jester just wanted to make Beau feel better, especially as she realized that she’d been a little oblivious in cheering about how great her dad was: “It was so crazy, the minute we got there and you reverted back to the initial Beau, the first Beau that we met, and then even further past that. It just killed Jester to see that.” Marisha notes that the moment when Jester pulled Beau aside, she was about to lose it: “I tried to work Beau in a direction of growth, and getting to a point where she’s not angry and snappy and just fucking lashing out at people. So Beau’s going to try to keep her cool, and then I was literally sucking in the air, and you were like, ‘Come here,’ and that was just enough to get the reset button and the calm. She’s not in a place to forgive her parents, but Jester talking about the poison of holding on to all of that was kind of what, I was like, okay. I can use this in that moment to not have to make it about forgiving my parents right now, or ever, but to be able to start to heal and separate from that and that past. And for Beau to forgive herself.” Laura, after the game, was worried that it came across as Jester trying to get Beau to forgive her dad, and Beau notes that not seeing even a fraction of the effort the Gentleman has put forward kind of wiped that possibility out.

Beau’s grown a lot since she was last home. “The Mighty Nein has helped Beau trust in other people around her and come out of her shell and learn how to control her outbursts and her blaming other people and her anger. That’s so far from the Beau that was in that house.” Marisha was actually startled at herself when Beau snapped at Nott over the horse. “It was immediately all those bad thoughts were coming back, so it felt like Beau was on the verge of reverting.” Laura: “Nothing makes you fucking regress to your childhood mannerisms and behaviors faster than going home.”

Jester believes that “love is stronger than anything else”. She knows her parents still love each other, so “any of those other crazy things, they can work through.”

On whether Beau’s dad is really worried about her: “I think he cares to the extent that anyone cares about anyone’s general safety. I think he’s concerned about himself first, and what he has, and then I think he’s concerned about Beau next, after that. But I don’t know, maybe I’m being incredibly harsh. But there is, to this point, that element of what’s the twist.” Laura notes that she got a really high insight check on Beau’s dad. “There’s a reason that I was like, maybe give him open ears” at that moment.

Cosplay of the Week: a very detailed Molly! (GalacticLeah, photo by Fricbergsean)

On potentially leaving the Lionetts destitute if they destroy the hag, Laura and Marisha say, in unison: “Fuck the Lionetts.” They note that they’ve got the resources to make sure T.J. will be fine, and that’s all that really matters.

Has Jester forgiven her father? “I don’t think Jester’s angry at him. She’s very empathetic. She’s very good at going, okay, I see it from your side. And I think she was afraid more that something bad had happened to him. Obviously, if he could have returned, he would have, because he loved her mother so much. So I don’t think she’s angry at him. I don’t think, necessarily, she doesn’t think he’s perfect, but she’s making the best of the situation. I think she’s just happy that he’s around. Make up for lost time.”

Brian asks about how different it is to be supportive of each other and exploring backstories in this campaign versus with the last campaign’s more archetypal characters. Marisha: “It feels like the campaign has been very muddy and not black-and-white. The same for every person’s individual backstory issues.” She notes that there’s a lot more ambiguity. Laura: “Vex wasn’t empathetic. She was sympathetic sometimes, but sometimes when Keyleth was going through something, Vex was like, come on, get your shit together.” Brian notes just how different everyone’s characters are this time around. “It’s awesome!”

Laura notes that TJ ran up to Beau and called her sister, which means that they’ve been talking about her consistently for him to recognize her. “So there is a level there.” Marisha notes that Beau has very mixed feelings about her mom, too. “She’d never offer support, or want to challenge Thoreau.” So now she’s wondering if her mom has been quietly talking her up to TJ, or if it’s both of them. 

Fan Art of the week: Beau and TJ! (by ItsMalenyLopez)

Jester’s perspective on the Gentleman’s partners: “You can sleep with people, but don’t form a fucking relationship with them. That’s the difference.”

Marisha, on working with difficult topics on the show: “The audience goes away in the moment. Yes, it’s hard, yes, it’s cathartic, and yes, it’s something on a whole other level. It’s why roleplaying games are so fucking awesome, because they allow you to do that.” Marisha notes that she has a great relationship with her own parents, but getting to explore is interesting. “It’s hard to describe.” Laura: “There’s a safety there, to be able to dive into these places.” Marisha: “With all of these issues, these issues are skinned, but the root of them are often very relatable issues that everyone goes through. So there is a certain amount of catharsis to that. So while I personally had a good relationship with my parents, I’m accustomed to feeling shut out, feeling misunderstood, going through psychological abuse, all of those things. And, of course, everyone knows someone who has probably experienced those things first-hand, so you can get a sense of understanding in some ways, but there’s layers of everything that you’re doing that can totally think back to things that were from your life.” Laura: “I think that RPGs are so great for just humanity in general, because it really makes you see things from another person’s perspective.” Marisha: “It takes time. I don’t recommend anybody try to do something like this out of the gate with your first game.” Laura: “No, I mean, we’ve been playing this game together as a family now for eight years. And we’re just now getting to stuff like this. All that time of building trust and being able to know, okay, if I go to these levels, I’m going to have the support of the people around me.” Marisha: “The whole thing is a trust fall.”

Jester’s opinion on the M9′s worry about the Traveler’s cultishness? “Well-meaning but paranoid.” Before leaving the Lavish Chateau, she barely told anyone about the Traveler, and they all just accepted him as her imaginary friend. “She knows he’s godly. She knows how powerful he is. There is a little bit of ‘Oh, that’s weird,’ seeing how other gods deal with their... constituents?” Laura notes that she has absolutely no idea what Traveler-Con is going to be like.

Beau has always been aware that her tattoo has the jade/tarot connections with her father as well. “That’s why Beau was so salty with Molly when he was trying to tell fortunes from the beginning. It’s all layered. Didn’t intend for it, but jade just happened to be the one that boosts wisdom.”

Marisha and Laura both note that defeating more traditional enemies can be easily resolved in a way that can be used to block out the things that are really bothering you. Family issues, on the other hand, usually don’t have a simple resolution.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

If u r still taking reqs for kiss prompts how abt 28 with Mr Freezy. Cos sir is worse than Bryce😂🤷

28. One person tracing the other’s lips with a fingertip until they can’t resist any longer, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss.

Warnings- Drug mentions, Non Con elements, Brutality, Swears, Robert was not a good man, this isnt a sweet drabble

Kiss Prompts

“Look at my pretty pretty Doll.” You heard first, groaning as your eyes slit open to see a piercing light above you, making you wince as you went to turn away, hoping to relieve the ache of it. Well... If you could. 

But you couldn't roll to the side, or stretch your arms, move your legs. All you were able to do was roll your head side to side. What the fuck?

“Who are you?” Your eyes sprang open to try to figure out what was going on, where you were, and why you couldn't move. That's when you heard that graveled voice again. Somewhere in the room, but not close to you. Nearby though, it was accented, had a tone of soft pride in it. 

“Come on Princess, I know your not that stupid a cunt. You gave me a good fight before I knocked your ass out.” 

Your brows came together in confusion as to what that voice was talking about, twisting your face one side to the other till you saw him, leaning against a steel wall, matching the floor you were stretched out on. Above you were wicked-looking hooks, meat hooks made for hanging meat. Where the hell were you? 

A snap of shoe soles against the floor made you look at him again, whimpering fearfully when you arched your neck to look up at him. Brightly colored button up hurt your eyes, but you were all too familiar with that face. Wide rimmed glasses covered his face, and long locks of dark hair fell around his shoulder. The grin was mustached covered upper lip and yellowed teeth flashing beyond the dark hair of his facial hair. “Your that man... that man from the club.” 

“What did you do to me?” you pushed to roll properly this time, now that you realized your hands and legs were bound. You wriggled and struggled till you would sit up, your legs bent in front of you. He came closer, which you struggled to move away, but with your limited mobility, there was no way to escape from him. His oversized hand pressed into your hair, wrenching from the roots with a loud yelp from you to look up at you. He mimicked you with a disgusted face. “Your that man from the club. Stupid bitch, didn't your mama ever teach you to be wary of strangers?” He pulled his hand away, making you flop back and scream at the pain of some of your hair getting ripped out in the process. 

“Don’t worry Princess, I plan on teaching you the error of your ways.” He walked away from you and picked up a bag on the floor to place it on a nearby table, sorting through it. While he was distracted, you looked around again. A Table, and boarded up windows. A single swaying dirty light above you and the last thing that made chills run down your spine and fear made your throat tighten, your mouth goes dry. A dirty mattress on the floor. 

“Aha, here it is. Alright Princess, get ready.” He smirked as he took something out of his bag, and approached you again. You tried again to get away, roll kick out at him with your bound legs, but nothing could keep the sadistic man away. 

“No, get away from me!” you scream out. “Help, Anyone!” 

He just laughs as he hauls you up, and presses a cloth over your mouth while dragging you to the mattress, flopping you on it. Already you can feel your eyes rolling back and things grow black around the edges before you went out momentarily once more. 

Robert pulled a knife from his pocket, moving to sit atop of you while he let the blade slide along the side of your face, using the tip of the blade to push your unconscious face towards him, smirking. “I will get you trained to be my perfect bitch, just need to break you in, teach you the rules. But first I need to see what goods you got in these jeans. Ruin that pussy.” You groaned as you started to come back to, once more in that half in and out state he wanted you to be in. 

At least for now. 

You didn't look up at him, you knew that he was sitting on you, your head pounding from whatever he gave you. What did surprise you was the gentle touch he gave you with a fingertip, brushing along your bottom lip. Pulling it gently before letting it go as he groaned. “Fuck these pretty lips are going to look so good around my cock later.” He leaned down to slant his lips against yours, and forced your lips apart, his tongue swirling to fill your mouth and fill you with a dark hungry moan of his. You didn't fight it till you realized what was happening, and he reared back to press the blade against your throat, screaming down at you. 

“FIGHT ME AGAIN LITTLE CUNT AND SEE WHAT I GIVE YOU NEXT.” 

The blade pressed in more, and then you felt the first droplets of warmth run down your neck. 

Bloodstained your blouse and he smeared his fingers in it, rubbing it over your lips and down your chin. When your mouth was wet and slippery, the taste escaping in between clamped lips, he grinned wickedly as a devil with a prized soul. “So beautiful, isnt our Pretty Pretty Girl.” 

And he grasped your chin, pulling you in again to his mouth, this time the hot blood taste mixing with his.