#frantically works on replies while there is stable wifi

[green-eyed-whumpster]

My OC Universe: Rowan 73

Chapter 73 Summary: Cordelia and Peter have a heavy discussion about the boy sleeping in Peter’s room. (Tagobots: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @much-ado-about-whumping, @abitefullofeverything, @whump-me-all-night-long, @sky-or-something-idfk and @tears-and-lilies)

Trigger Warnings: PTSD whumpee, survivor’s guilt

I’m really sorry, guys, I’m a fucking moron. I just uploaded my rewritten chapter and while looking for my Whump Prompt doc. I found the recovered version of the Rowan story. So I’m gonna upload the original chapter. I’m so sorry if I had just been a bit more capable I could have had your chapter up at the normal time. But you’ll get today’s also later this afternoon.

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“I never ended up moving your bed,” Peter said softly, looking at Rowan’s downturned head. “But I suppose you’d rather sleep with Cordelia than me at the moment,” The boy didn’t really react, the only sign of life being the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders. I don’t want to be any more of a bother than I already have been. “Maybe at least for the first night,” Cordelia suggested, meeting Peter’s eyes. “Come on, Rowan, I can go finish unpacking the cart once you’ve gone to bed,” She said, gently taking his arms to lead him towards her room. “I-I could help you!” He squeaked, looking at her frantically. “It’s fine, Rowan,” She replied, continuing to pull him to the ready space. “You could sleep in my room for the night,” Peter suggested, catching her attention. “Are you sure?” She asked and he nodded. “Go ahead, I don’t mind.” She smiled at him and turned Rowan towards the adjacent room. “Thank you, Peter,” She sighed gently, stirring something in Rowan. “Thank you,” He whispered. It was enough for Peter.

Cordelia closed the door behind her and turned to look at Peter, who had tears welling in his eyes. “What happened to him?” He whispered under his breath, studying her face for her answer. “It’s a long story,” She replied softly. “He’s been gone a long time!” Peter scoffed softly and bit his lip harshly. “How long have you known he was alive?” That was a harder question for Cordelia to answer. “Not long.” She lied. “When Marie began a coup and imprisoned William I realised he was there and saved him.” “Why was he there?” He asked harshly. “He worked for the Prince.” Cordelia could feel the truth creeping up on him and hesitated. “Would it have anything to do with what the ‘work’ that the soldiers that took him wanted?” He hissed. “Peter, don’t get worked up –“ “The Prince’s consort appeared over three years ago!” “I didn’t know it was him then.” She defended. “When did you find out, then?” There was silence. “Cordelia, answer me.” “At the engagement ball.” She answered finally, watching the horror spread across his face. “You let him stay there for so long?” He questioned angrily. “You realised he was being tortured and you just let him stay there?” “Do you honestly think I had a choice? It was a feat of its own to convince Marie to let him go!” She should have expected this. The moment she began trying to find a way to get him out. She knew it would mean doing nothing for a while, of course he was angry. “Aren’t you just glad that I did manage to save his life?” “I had already mourned him,” Peter whispered tearfully. “Does he really want to be alive anymore?” Cordelia tried to step towards him and he stopped her. “What will happen when you inevitably go back? He can’t bear to be near me! I don’t think I can manage losing him again.” “Don’t talk like that,” She replied softly. “Just give him time, time to heal, it will be all right,” “What did they do to him? Why is he bruised?” He wanted the truth. She didn’t know if she could handle telling him the truth. “He was hurt. He-he became William’s consort, and after an incident he was punished. All I can tell you is that he was tortured. And they made him…made him think differently. So, he thinks that he has to pay for kindness, and that he isn’t deserving of basic rights. I don’t even know all that happened.” She murmured. “I swear, if there was any way for me to have gotten him out before then, I would have done it. He had a bodyguard with him all day and when he wasn’t with the bodyguard he was with William. Just like how you originally had to let him go, I knew there was no good I could do if I was dead.” “I’m sorry,” Peter whimpered, wiping his cheeks that had long been soaked with tears. “I-I just…I thought he was dead for so long, and I realise he’s alive but-but he doesn’t want anything to do with me.” “That isn’t your –“ “It is my fault! I should have kept him hidden! I shouldn’t have let them take him! I shouldn’t have told the King of his existence, maybe I could have gotten him from the barracks.” “You know that isn’t true. How would you have been able to imagine people would be so cruel? You always saw the good in people, which is why you even came across Rowan in the first place.” Cordelia soothed, moving forward to embrace Peter. “Kind people always suffer the most. But that doesn’t mean you become a bad person, because what you did led to William taking Rowan from the barracks. And even though life with William certainly wasn’t easy, I’ve been to those barracks and I know what happens to people they took.” Peter paused and nodded weakly, tightening his arms around Cordelia. “But I still caused him so much pain!” He gasped against her shoulder. “Not intentionally,” Cordelia whispered. “Life is horrible. Especially to the nice, and you just can’t help but save those people. You rescued me from my family, and you released Rowan from a bear trap that would have definitely killed him, and offered him maybe the first stable home he had ever had. Something awful ruined that for a while, but you can’t let it stop you from trying again.” Peter scoffed quietly and nodded, burying his face into Cordelia’s shoulder. “You’re right,” He breathed, squeezing slightly. “It’s just…so painful, seeing him so hurt. When I thought he was dead I at least had the comfort of knowing he didn’t have to go through any more of that ever again. And it was a shock, to realise that he was alive, and that…that I had done nothing more to save him, that he had to endure so much while I forgot him.” “You didn’t forget him,” Cordelia replied. “How would you have known he wasn’t dead?” “Why didn’t you tell me? When you found out, why didn’t you tell me right away?” He asked. “He begged me not to. He didn’t want you to know what he had to do. And I didn’t want you to know without being able to do anything, or for you to try something stupid that would only get yourself killed.” She explained, releasing him. “When Marie realised she was pregnant, everything happened so quickly, it was all I could do to make sure that he wasn’t killed along with his bodyguard. Luckily William was a selfish idiot, and Rowan finally snapped, so Marie allowed me to take him away, with the condition that she never see him ever again.” “How could he believe that I would think less of him? What that coward did to him, Gods I wish I could make him pay.” Peter scowled and Cordelia nodded agreeably. “Trust me, he is going to feel every ounce of pain that he inflicted on Rowan. Marie is ensuring it.” The door to Peter’s room closed silently as the pair appeared to be done talking, and Rowan snuck back to the bed Cordelia had tucked him into, his chest shuddering with the effort to contain his sobs.