#gaku is the greatest 1/10 ever

[ayakashiramblings]

Rank-kings (NSFW)

Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong, let’s all get along! If you guys catch on to who I am copying, congrats. 

Some spoilers are included to justify the rankings so proceed with caution! Thus, in order of their sizes;

10) Gaku

The reason why I roast him. He’s canonically a cry-baby in the past, poor dude has been hit with a curse himself and his feisty attitude is definitely hiding something. Don’t expect it to rise to great heights even in his adult form is all I’m saying.

Ok, but it’s not small. It’s just average compared to his peers. It’s especially embarrassing that even the youngest member here has better girth. Not that he cares, of course, but please don’t ever bring up this topic in front of him. 

His number of partners: Zero, virgin. This poor baby is only surrounded by machines and his brother. Expect him to be one of the kinkiest though as a result of being suppressed.

9) Aoi

Just because he’s one of my favourites doesn’t mean that I can’t see that... he is only a teenager. Wait, is it legal to rank him? Please don’t arrest me. As stated in his ABC NSFW Headcanons, his girth is the reason why he is above Gaku. The length is just normal but you can certainly feel stretched by him and get the right spot stimulated WHEN HE IS AT THE AGE OF CONSENT AND MAYBE 2 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD.

Can sizes increase by then? Maybe. I’m going to have to re-evaluate this down the road probably.

His number of partners: Zero, virgin. Reiterating myself, he is a student. School usually kills any libido you have. At least, here it does. Also, he’s the Mum of the group. Probably is the only reason why none of them has gotten more than 10 partners. God save him.

8) Oji

He’s slightly above Aoi because the girth is almost the same. Like father, like son. The advantage he has though is that he is canonically the tallest out of all the members in all of the factions. His disadvantage is running away from Aoi reduces his potential, if you know what I’m saying.

His number of partners: He could just make eye contact with you and suddenly you’re convinced you’ve just had sex with him... and he has one hundred eyes. 

So that’s why he is also number 8. Because I am guessing it’s 8 at the most/least. Most of them are casual but I can bet that one of them was at least romantic before it all broke down.

7) Ginnojo

A Shinsengumi soldier standing at attention in more ways than one. Seems like all the old and young ones have the girth to brag about. Ginnojo here is actually quite long like a Dragon and sharp like a dagger. Enjoy.

His number of partners: You must be new to the game if you didn’t know but zero. Do I really need to justify this?

6) Toichiro

Only because he probably bought it and to be above Gaku (yes, accept the double meaning, shippers). Seriously, some of the vases he buys from you look phallic in nature. Foxes in nature do knotting so expect it to be thick and large.

His number of partners: 10/10... no, I really mean it, 10. It might be even more, he is a nobleman, he has the means to attract a good time in the royal sack. Plus, he establishes more connections that way. I feel most of his relationships were just casual hookups or one-night stands though. He strikes me as the type to avoid any relationships with serious attachments because of his lineage. 

5) Kuya 

Actually the longest but he also has the most average girth. Maybe to make up for the fact he has muscles despite him just SLEEPING ALL DAY.

His number of partners: Zero because he is at THAT height of laziness and I don’t blame him... but don’t worry, he won’t be sleepy around you and your naked body. 

Ok, but really, even when Koga drags him to the Entertainment district, he doesn’t do much. Maybe he’s even demisexual? I can see him and Ginnojo as such.

4) Kuro 

Long AND with a girth to match and be much, much, much closer to you than any normal hug can do. Guess you could say he’s flexible.

His number of partners: 1 or 2.  He doesn’t have that much free time in the circus to skank around (not to say he didn’t try though… probably with a visiting troupe member or someone in the audience)

3) Yura

Like his flute but thicker. Way thicker... ok actually, smaller because we don’t want to impale ourselves. He is the big brother for a reason, eh, Gaku? Someone, stop me.

His number of partners: Zero. Deals with too much except time for ladies. That’s why we are here.

2) Shizuki

I am so happy for you. You nearly have the perfect dick but this man himself is a dick so...

His number of partners: Hard as the ice in the Arctic, this man has had his candlewick dipped in plenty of times, more so than Oji because he actually has game both sober and intoxicated. It’s only less than Toichiro since the kitsune makes him work his ass off to do only 9 partners. 

1) Koga

The greatest help in EVERY department. The right length AND thickness. What a snack, like an onigiri. 

I’m totally not choosing him because of that, of course, no...

His number of partners: Certainly more than one but not as... horn-y as his two other BFFs and the old geezer. He does visit the Entertainment district but he is also canonically tied to you and didn’t really do it out of anything else but a biological urge. Also, the Carnage might have made him more reluctant just in case it is linked to his wild side. 

So two. Maybe three. 

[recentanimenews]

Children's Entertainment is Hell in Uramichi Oniisan TV Anime Trailer

  It's time for all of the good little kids out there to learn some harsh lessons about working life, because a new preview video and the Japanese broadcast schedule have been revealed for Uramichi Oniisan, an upcoming TV anime based on the dark comedy manga by Gaku Kuse about a young man who can't help letting his grim and pessimistic personality show through despite his role as a gymnastics teacher on a children's TV program.

  The preview video (below) features the OP theme song for the show, "ABC Taisou" ("ABC Exercises"), which is performed in-character by Iketeru Oniisan (CV: Mamoru Miyano) and Utano Oneesan (CV: Nana Mizuki).

    The Uramichi Oniisan manga is serialized in Ichijinsha's comic POOL digital magazine, and an English language version is also published by Kodansha Comics under the title Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan. Kodansha Comics describes the story of the series as follows:

  How did the cynical Uramichi end up hosting a TV show for small children? And how long is the studio going to let him keep teaching the kids the sorrow and exhaustion of life instead of, say, the ABCs?

    The Uramichi Oniisan TV anime is directed by Nobuyoshi Nagayama and features animation production by Studio Blanc.. The series will broadcast in Japan according to the following TV schedule:

  TV Tokyo: every Monday during the 25:30 time slot beginning on July 05, 2021.

BS11: every Tuesday during the 25:00 time slot beginning on July 06, 2021.

WOWOW: every Wednesday during the 24:00 time slot beginning on July 07, 2021.

Hokkaido Television Broadcasting: every Thursday during hte 25:50 time slot beginning on July 08, 2021.

Animax: every Saturday during the 22:30 time slot beginning on July 10, 2021.

  Please note that some Japanese TV schedules count early-morning programming as late-night programming of the previous day, so for example the 25:30 time slot on Monday evening is actually at 1:30am JST on Tuesday morning.

  Sources:

Ota-suke

Comic Natalie

  Copyright notice: © Copyright notice: © Gaku Kuze・Ichijinsha / "Uramichi Oniisan" Production Committee

    ---

Paul Chapman is the host of The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast and GME! Anime Fun Time.

By: Paul Chapman