#gradually so we were like. okay word ig and started our own gc (which is now the one we use obviously). i feel like there's bad blood there
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sigh grief and loss is everywhere. doors close that can't be reopened and yet i still scratch at them like a lost dog. why
#she bork#idk lol who knows.#no actually to go back to this and make it less vague (bc it's still bothering me) why did texting a friend i haven't talked to in a couple#of years feel like texting an ex???? we didn't have any big ugly falling out she just kind of dropped contact w me and the rest of the group#gradually so we were like. okay word ig and started our own gc (which is now the one we use obviously). i feel like there's bad blood there#but i'm not even sure and i keep being like. what did i do to cause this. what drove her away. but it's not my fault just like it's not#anyone in the rest of the group's fault. but why is it bothering me so bad like bruh you've been knew that friendship is over so why is it#bothering you now.#(which also the reason i texted her is bc she kept popping up on my messages widget on my home screen even though we haven't texted in#literal years and i got a really strong feeling i should text her and check in. as soon as i texted her it went away. she answered very like#coldly which is why i feel like there's bad blood somewhere but i don't have anything specific in mind. so like it hasn't even been#bothering me this whole time it just popped up suddenly bc of that gut feeling i got. idk cue that quote that's like 'how do you cope w#grief?' 'run from it until it catches me in the middle of the street on a sunny day')
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