#guinevere doesn't think anything of it

[liminalpsych]

A very, very roughly sketched, unedited scene that wouldn't leave me alone this morning and demanded to be written (....oh hey @queer-ragnelle! I accidentally made a Lusty Month of May / May Day Parade contribution!):

The week they arrive at Sorelois. Perhaps even the day. Guinevere is half-mad with rage and grief, reeling from Arthur's betrayal, the loss of her marriage, of her court. It's the usurping of her entire life.

It makes her bold. It makes her want to be cruel. It makes her want to strike back or to take what she wants or to rebel in some small or large way. It makes her want to hurt Arthur in turn, or transgress since she has already been spurned from society and convicted for something for which she's innocent.

"There is something I wish to see," Guinevere says, there in the somber quiet of the receiving room with Lancelot, Galehaut, and Lady Bloie of Malehaut. An announcement to the air, undirected.

Lancelot responds first, of course, as expected. He kneels before her, the picture of earnest devotion. "Whatever you wish, my queen, I will strive my utmost to bring it to you."

Across the room, towering nigh to the ceiling even leaned against the wall as he is, Galehaut watches her with a carefully neutral expression. Unblinking, unsmiling, and there's the barest tightening around his eyes. He is wary of her still, and senses her mood.

The Lady of Malehaut is a different kind of unreadable entirely, lounging next to her with a spot of embroidery to keep her clever hands busy. Her full mouth is always a breath away from smiling, like she carries with her a trove of private amusements at all times. She observes from beneath half-lidded eyes, her needle flashing through cloth more by touch than sight.

Guinevere lifts her loyal knight's chin with a touch of her finger. His lips part, eyes wide and wondering. She smiles. "I want to you to give Galehaut a kiss."

Ah, if only she dared to watch Galehaut's expression in that moment! Yet she must keep her focus on Lancelot. His face pales. His breath catches in his throat. His pulse thrums against her finger like a trapped and frantic bird. "M-my queen?" he stammers, gaze darting side to side as if for an escape.

Her smile sharpens, serpentine. "Do you not wish to?"

"I— I am not—" He's breathing rapid and shallow now, on the edge of panic. It's a pretty quandary she's put him in, one with no known safe answer, and he's reeling under it.

(She feels more steady by the moment, her control re-establishing in the small sphere she still possesses.)

Galehaut steps forward. There's the edge of fury in his warning, in the creak of leather and the rattle of maille. "My lady," he rumbles.

Now Guinevere looks his way, and she lifts a graceful eyebrow at the storm in his countenance. Lancelot quivers beneath her touch, unmoored by the loss of her pinning gaze. "Will you tell me truly that you don't want this, Galehaut?"

He halts. His jaw works; the stormclouds thicken. He glares, proud and silent.

Guinevere laughs. It's a free, bell-like sound—as playful as a day a-Maying. Lancelot stills and his breathing steadies, soothed by her apparent merriment. She makes a show of taking pity on him, releasing his chin to stroke his cheek. "Do you wish to kiss me?" she murmurs, leaning closer.

His breath catches again, no different than before. He nods.

She kisses him, sweet and soft; he returns it with a small desperate sound against her lips. (It tastes like power.) He's breathless when she pulls away, and she smiles down at him, indulgent. "I know Galehaut desires a kiss from you as well," she says, "and he is the one who brought us together, yes?"

Another nod, and Lancelot seems more dazed than panicked now. Swaying towards her, and glancing shyly towards his boon companion, who draws a sharp bracing breath.

"It is not as if he's a lady," she says with a wink. "So it is not being untrue to me. And it is my request, is it not?"

"Y—yes, my lady...?"

"Do you not want to kiss him?"

"I..." Those expressive eyes flicker from her lips to Galehaut's and back again. His breath quickens again, but this time it is a little less panicked. "My lady, you ask hard questions," he says at last, helplessly.

She laughs again, darkened with satisfaction. "Kiss him, then," she commands, "and then tell me if you want to do it again."

"My lady," protests Galehaut, strained—oh, and there is longing so sharp that it is agonized, bare and naked in every rigid muscle and the aching furrow of his brow. He looks at Lancelot like a man starving. He looks at Guinevere like a man betrayed.

To give Galehaut what he so desperately desires, when he knows it is something she can take away at any moment? To receive a kiss from his Lancelot, but only on the order of Lancelot's lover-queen? For Galehaut to touch his companion in the way he desires, but only so long as Guinevere allows it, never knowing truly if Lancelot would have initiated on his own, never being certain of Lancelot's desire?

It's a power like none she's ever wielded before.

Lancelot stumbles to Galehaut on unsteady legs with a last hesitant glance over his shoulder. Guinevere smiles encouragingly and nods her approval. One last nudge—and still, Galehaut could refuse Lancelot. Galehaut is sworn to neither Guinevere nor Arthur; he needs not obey her. Galehaut could save the last unconquered edges of his heart and maintain this last barrier of distance. He could still refuse himself what he wants so badly.

Galehaut tenses, and Galehaut wavers, and Galehaut's heaves great draughts of air as if he's in the thick of a melee.

Lancelot reaches out, and Galehaut surrenders.

[adhd-merlin]

I think this is a mega unpopular opinion among arwen enjoyers but I love the banishment scene in 4x09 actually. yes it's tragic, yes it's painful, but it's precisely because of how much they loved each other. its greatly written and bradley and angel are both incredible in it. I haven't managed to find a proper gif set of that scene yet which is a crime

[wizzard890]

is your objection to mists of avalon because marion zimmer bradley was a monster, or is it just the book itself? (i haven't read it since i was a teenager, and for whatever reason the warlord chronicles made more of an impression on me when it came to modern arthurian retellings-- idk if that's better or worse)

Oh, I hated the book well before Marion Zimmer Bradley was revealed to be a detestable sex criminal, for reasons entirely unrelated to her real-world crimes.

However, some Mists of Avalon specific crimes include:

Writing a book that is not so much a story as a tedious polemic about how yonic egalitarian ~Celtic~ paganism was destroyed by the brutal militant power of Christianity and the penis, an idea that was both stupid and deeply academically dated by the time of Mists of Avalon's publication.

Her characterization of Guinevere, which is to this day the most misogynistic portrayal I have ever seen, including 14th century and Victorian depictions.

I use "characterization" lightly, since most of the people in this book are dull mouthpieces for ideologies, or a meager assembly of one to two personality traits, especially the men. (Morgaine is the most special princess of all, so she sometimes gets up to three personality traits!)

The male characters are paper dolls, which is an issue when you're re-telling the Arthurian saga. When you're doing a feminist retelling of the Arthurian saga it's actually an even worse issue, because:

She isn't a creative enough writer to take liberties with plot (something this book has in very short supply), so she's stuck with the framework of the legends, which usually involve women attempting to trick or compete for the male characters. Unfortunately, as perviously stated, the male characters are not good, so you're left with a bunch of women backbiting and fighting and risking it all for some interchangeable dipshit, which doesn't reflect well on them. For a book that's all about how women belong to some sacred and beautiful vagina sisterhood, the female characters in this book sure spend a lot of time hating one another for being prettier than them.

It's too long. It's two hundred and thirty six pages longer than Hilary Mantel's Wolf Hall, widely praised as one of the best books of the 21st century. We simply do not require all that, Marion.

Saint Patrick catches the stray of all time here; he's ported over to England for some reason, becomes Arthur's personal confessor, and boy he just hates women! The worst, those women!

Needless changing of people's names. Lancelet? Come on.

The reduction of early Christianity (and medieval Christianity) to basically whatever your personal childhood priest/pastor said that bothered you is an absolute epidemic in genre writing, and it's all over this book. The poster child for "he would not say that" but "he" is a bunch of monks on Lindisfarne.

This isn't a cardinal sin, but if a story is all about the tides of Goddess-blessed pagan freedom and ~sexuality~, then the sex scenes should be good, right? Like, these are thematically load-bearing, they need to hit. In a turn of events that everyone saw coming if they've read this far, Mists of Avalon is a "big, meaty phallus" sort of book.

That's not all, but I'm tired of thinking about this dumb story now and frankly it's a crime that Arthur, Lancelot, and Guinevere have a three-way in this book, and it neither fixes everything or makes anything worse. Mists of Avalon: a radical reimagining that never meets a novel idea it won't squander.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

hi can i request another part for king Arthur reader,whare a few days after Ragnarok, leonidas & Apollo are looking for y/n because they have a date in a few minutes,but only to find y/n, y/n's Valkyrie & Guinevere, turns out Guinevere is trying to get back with y/n

because when she watched y/n fight she realized y/n was "better" for her and shouldt have cheated on him & also said y/n should just break up with Apollo & leo to get with her again, (in short being a despite bitch, worst part she's still with lancelot)

but y/n's Valkyrie IS NOT HAVING IT,y/n's Valkyrie is having a literally cat fight with Guinevere(and is winning 💅y/n's Valkyrie would be leonidas, Apollo & y/n's 1# supporter...cus she see's y/n as father figure's😭)and y/n is just there trying to calm her down to have a mature conversation with Guinevere as why he doesn't want to get back together (but Guinevere doesn't listen)

and so how would leonidas & Apollo react to the scene, would they intervene with someone trying to mess up there relationship or would they let y/n take care of it?

-You were late, which is something you never were, you were always the one to show up early, to be the one to greet your lovers, Leonidas and Apollo- but you weren’t at the meetup spot and instantly Leonidas knew something was wrong.

-The two were quick to rush to your home, Apollo was trying to stay calm, “Maybe Y/N just overslept?” his optimism was helpful, but Leonidas knew he was just as worried- this wasn’t like you.

-They weren’t prepared to find you holding back Thyra from another woman who was also beautiful, the two of them screeching at each other.

-You looked exasperated, but doing well in keeping calm, “Thyra- sweetie- angel- violence won’t solve anything.” You were holding her under her arms as she was flailing, doing her best to get free.

-This other woman was Guinevere, your ex-wife, and the woman who betrayed you and led you to your death. And from what your lovers were easily able to gather, Guinevere had approached you, wanting to get back together with you.

-She was glaring at Thyra, “You need to stay out of this- this doesn’t concern you! Y/N- leave this child and leave those male lovers of yours and come back to me- you know I’m so much better than they are!!”

-Apollo and Leonidas were both instantly pissed, seeing that she was trying to get back with you after you won your match, after you proved yourself as a powerful fighter, and a worthy man.

-Thyra went still in your arms, like she was stunned before she turned bright red, furious, “Doesn’t concern me? BITCH! You broke Y/N’s heart and helped get him killed! How is that better for him?!”

-You sighed softly in defeat before you noticed your lovers who were watching, amused by Thyra’s rage, giving them a weak, apologetic smile before Guinevere shouted, “What would you know- you’re just a child?!”

-It was true that Thyra was young looking, looking like a teenager, but you doted on her like a daughter, and she looked up to you like a father figure, but she was like her sisters, far older than you were, being a Valkyrie.

-You directed your attention to Guinevere, trying to stop the situation from getting any more heated, “Guinevere- you have no place in my heart nor my life any longer. I am happy with Apollo and Leonidas. Please leave.” You were being cordial to her, willing to treat her with respect.

-She was stunned, hearing this, hearing that you were telling her to leave, and you didn’t love her, your beloved Guinevere- any longer! Her eyes narrowed and she lunged, her claws bared, “You bastard- who do you think you are?!”

-You turned, taking the hit across your face, but it didn’t really hurt, as you protected Thyra who gasped, and instantly a boxing bell was heard (from somewhere) as your grip loosened just enough for her to get free and she instantly attacked, getting into a cat fight with your ex-wife.

-Apollo instantly had your face in his hands, looking at your face, checking out the mark as you smiled softly, lifting a hand to cover one of his own, “Sorry about that.” Apollo wouldn’t hear any of it, “You have nothing to apologize for my love.”

-When you noticed Leonidas wasn’t there, you both turned, seeing him cheering on Thyra, who was straddling Guinevere, who was screeching loudly, demanding for Thyra to get off her.

-You sighed, exasperated before you spoke, “You get two minutes- then we’re leaving.” Thyra beamed up at you, looking elated, “Really?” as you nodded.

-Once Thyra was done, you hauled her off, holding her under your arm as she whined, “Oh- I wasn’t done yet~~!” you cracked her a small grin, “Yes you are- lets go eat.”

-Guinevere had gotten her ass beat, and as she was panting in pain and with adrenaline, she screamed after you, “You’ll come back! You always do!!”

-Leonidas, Apollo, and Thyra all flipped her off over their shoulders, something you did scold them for, as you headed to the restaurant you had all planned to meet at.

[multifandom-aroace]

Gwen's wardrobe in season five makes me sad. (I'm not the best at analysing but please bear with me)

Partly it is the fact that it just doesn't look like something she would wear. Like I get that she looks good. She doesn't look out of place in any way, but her clothes just don't suit her.

obviously she looks regal and beautifully. she looks like a queen, but she doesn't look like gwen.

I understand that what she wore before wasn't exactly what a queen should be wearing, but it feels like in costume design they went a bit too far in the opposite direction. all the colours are too dark, the details don't really fit with her personality. her costumes throughout the show are all relatively similar but once she becomes queen it feels like she changes completely. this probably reflects how her personality changes, which I also don't like. you would think that since she wasn't raised in nobility she would be fair and kind, not willing to kill a servant girl just because she overheard a conversation. it feels like they set it up from the beginning of the season for us to dislike her.

when I think of guinevere I think of costumes like these

these flower corsets are some of my favourite things she wears, and she could have worn something similar when she was queen.

I started thinking, in terms of the show, about why she might have changed her costume design so much and then I thought it might have something to do with respect. swen was a servant turned queen, and probably a lot of the people of camelot wouldn't have liked this much. you know, tradition and shit. so she probably drew inspiration from the other nobility she knew and decided to dress like that. for example, a lot of what she wears is similar to what Morgana wore.

like, obviously thay aren't exactly the same but it feels like there is definitely inspiration here.

this is probably because Morgana was respected (obviously before she because evil).

a lot of the female nobility/royalty clothing we see from camelot and the other kingdoms is Morgana, although we also see this from other visiting people, such as vivian, mithian and elena.

(best picture I could find of her full dress)

obviously elena is wearing a wedding dress here but she is literally marrying Arthur (who gwen married which is why she started wearing these clothes in the first place), and we can see that this colour and style is available to her class.

mithian and vivian are both wearing lighter, more delicate styles, and I get that these aren't anything I could see gwen wearing either but it's definitely closer than what she's actually wears. need I remind you that mithian was supposed to marry Arthur as well?

one thing I could find that is similar is literally gwen's coronation dress. while not exactly the same, it does seem very similar to somathing Morgana wore when she became queen

I feel like the purple and the gold colour scheme seem quite similar, as well as the sleeves and the general embroidered decorations.

I do also feel like this might be the most similar to gwen's original style that she goes in terms of her costumes as queen. it's a lighter colour and the gold decorations feels less heavy than when it is mixed with a darker fabric. this dress is more silky and delicate, rather than one of the first things she wears in season 5

the gold appears to be maybe a darker shade of gold especially when mixed with the maroon colour of the dress. this dress is clearly perfect for a queen, but it just doesn't feel like gwen. (not necessarily connected to Morgana jsut another point)

i guess what she was trying to do was remind the people of camelot that she was to be respected, and she knew how much people had loved Morgana. vivian and elena, on the other hand, were not. they were only in camelot for a short time but in that time they didn't really get people to like them. vivian was rude and elena was a bit 'weird' to them (not sure how else to describe their reactions to her). gwen didn't even meet mithian because she was in exile (another reason she needed people to respect her), so Morgana was the best person to take inspiration from.

the connection to morgana's outfits could also represent the connection between them later in the season and when gwen is under her control

overall, I think they did gwen dirty in the final season and she definitely deserved better.

[pippin-katz]

He Likes You

I was just thinking about this line and how meaningful it is, because it truly is.

Hunith has literally known Arthur for a couple days, but she can already read him incredibly well. Not only does she deduce that he cares about Merlin, she specifically says he likes him.

What’s the difference? Why does that matter?

Think about what you imagine someone behaves like when they like something or someone. They’re usually pretty happy, smiling, and they say good things about it. When it comes to typical behavior, it’s easy to tell when someone likes something.

Merlin likes doing magic, and he shows it when he can:

Think about Arthur though. He doesn’t seem to like anything when you use those behaviors as the evidence. The viewer knows it’s just Arthur’s personality, but from a complete outside perspective, he doesn’t appear to like anything.

He doesn't truly smile that much. He makes fun of everyone he's close to, sometimes even going too far with Merlin in particular.

This is how most people would expect him to act if he likes someone:

But he doesn't act like that on a regular basis. He rarely ever actually smiles like that, and especially not around people.

When he smiles normally, there's an undertone of cockiness or superiority that comes with being the prince and having to behave a certain way in front of others. It's not quite genuine. (The first episode is the perfect example of that.)

Or it's not even really a smile. He's not frowning, and you can tell by his eyes that it's a positive expression, but he's not showing a full smile to indicate that he's really happy.

OR he's got his "public face" on; it's sort of blank, but it changes slightly depending on the context. It's a guarded/doubtful/slightly annoyed look, but it's not a full frown that implies a bad mood. He uses it when he's in court with Uther, when he's bickering with Merlin, and when he's thinking. It's sort of his resting expression.

Uther does the same thing, where he's not really smiling, but you can tell it's a positive expression.

The thing is, you don't need to like someone in order to care about them. Plenty of people care about the wellbeing of people that they don't actually like.

Perfect example: Merlin and Gwen wanting to help Uther despite both having justifiable reasons to want him dead.

So liking someone isn't the same as caring about someone, cool, but what's the big deal with Hunith's line about Arthur? He obviously cares and likes Merlin, why does this matter?

Hunith doesn’t witness any behavior from Arthur to indicate that he likes Merlin, other than helping out his village. But:

This is an absolutely true statement. Merlin may be in denial that Arthur would actually like him, but he’s not wrong at all. Arthur earlier in this very episode voiced his desire to help anyone regardless of where they live. He helps people throughout the show in ways that don’t benefit him: Mordred as a kid; the woman in the tavern who was being harassed; Guinevere when Elyan was captured; the old woman about to be burned at the stake.

Hunith, however, can see through all of that.

What do you do when you like someone?

You care for their well-being

You think of them fondly

You enjoy their company

You want them to be happy

Arthur likes Merlin. He thinks of him as a close friend. He wants to make him happy, and to keep him safe. He wants him around. And Hunith figures this out from a couple days of observing them.

My mind starts to run around, because I wonder what Hunith saw in Arthur during the short period she spent with him that told her that he liked Merlin. His father didn't understand why Arthur cared about Merlin even when he saved his life twice.

It makes me so curious of what Hunith was thinking. You know what they say about mothers always knowing.

[alicole-sideblog]

Guinevere and Lancelot's Sex

(an overview so we can be on the same page when discussing Alicent and Criston's sex)

I've been looking into the history of courtly love for quite a while now, trying to figure out where the "chaste" bit comes from. And honestly I'm still not sure. (My best theory at the moment is that it was Elizabeth I's contribution?) Histories consistently trace courtly love to The Knight of the Cart, the OG Guinevere and Lancelot story — a story where they do have sex.

They are the poster children. And they have always been unambiguously sexual.

The Knight of the Cart

Queen Guinevere and Lancelot have sex about halfway through The Knight of the Cart. At this point, Lancelot has traveled for a week and braved all sorts of hurdles to come rescue Guinevere, who's being held captive. He wants to have sex with her, but he does not expect sex from her — he doesn't think he's owed anything. This is expressed in this line:

"It would take more than these bars to keep me out. Nothing but your command could thwart my power to come to you. If you will but grant me your permission, the way will open before me. But if it is not your pleasure, then the way is so obstructed that I could not possibly pass through."

A reminder that The Knight of the Cart was commissioned by a woman, Marie de Champagne. This is a female fantasy — and specifically, the fantasy of a noblewoman who's in a political marriage where sex is presumbably expected and owed.

So Guinevere says yes, he climbs through her window, and they have sex. It's written "fade to black" style, but the author does tell us they had a great time.

Their sport is so agreeable and sweet, as they kiss and fondle each other, that in truth such a marvellous joy comes over them as was never heard or known. But their joy will not be revealed by me, for in a story, it has no place. Yet, the most choice and delightful satisfaction was precisely that of which our story must not speak.

I've seen too much discourse where Criston wanting to worship Alicent and have sex with her are framed as if they're in opposition or mutually incompatible. Which just — no. Lancelot kneels to Guinevere in an explicitly religious way, both when he enters the room to have sex with her, and before he leaves.

then he comes to the bed of the Queen, whom he adores and before whom he kneels, holding her more dear than the relic of any saint. .... When he leaves the room, he bows and acts precisely as if he were before a shrine; then he goes with a heavy heart, and reaches his lodgings without being recognised by any one.

[moodymisty]

Hello! I am the anon who talked about Konrad's manipulation and mental torture of the reader. While reading Idylls of the King by Alfred Tennyson - a poem which retells the legend of King Arthur, his knights, his love for Guinevere and her tragic betrayal of him, and the rise and fall of Arthur's kingdom - I began to think of a new scenario about Lion El'Jonson's beloved. Also this a bit of rant, sorry

Also this was inspired by the legend of Lady Godiva and the Arthurian Queen Guinevere :)

In some sort of a chivalric romance, Lion falls in love and begans to court a Terran noblewoman. Like Ulrich von Liechtenstein - in his work Frauendienst (trans. Service of Ladies), he retails his often-fictional, self-styled autobiographical where he, as a young knight, becomes obsessed with the lady he once served as a child - I imagine the Lion being the type of guy who does everything he can to get his beloved's attention. Maybe she had lots of suitors, maybe she was from a great family, maybe she was just a plain beauty, but nonetheless the Lion was absolutely smitten and happy to do anything. He duels her suitors, in jousting, in sword-fighting, but most, obviously, simply didn't accept. The Lion was 10+ feet tall "man", ruler of the Black Angels and son of the Emperor of Mankind. No man with a sane mind would fight such a person as the Lion!

He, after a long time, finally can marry the woman he loves. I didn't imagine how marriage with Lion El'Jonson would be like, but it's clearly not that great. He's a cold and serious, who often struggles with his emotions. His wife would have a soothing nature with him and helped him with his struggles. He would be those types of guys that completely changed when around their lovers lol. This guy is definitely a cuddle bug, loves receiving kisses and loves simply talking with his beloved. But, out of the room, he would definitely just ignore her. Firstly, he is a busy, he doesn't have almost to no little time. Secondly, he'll be genuinely scared for his sons to perceive him as weak and soft. He must be beacon of hope and power to his sons which is clearly possible when around his beloved.

Fast forward to the end of the Horus Heresy, his beloved somehow lives through all of it. I didn't think of a mortal living for over a millennium, some suggestions maybe? However, as we know, Lion takes his 10,000 nap, leaving Azrael to take the mantle of Chapter Master. In this case, Lion's beloved would be a Penelope-like figure: eternally devoted and in love with Lion. A legend would form around her, spoken between the Dark Angels, a woman who refuses to show herself, a woman who waits and waits for her husband arrival, a woman would take and take care of parts of Lion armour, such as his helmet and shield, and walks around, holding them. The Dark Angels would take an example of their mother's loyalty and devotion, often pressuring and reminding the Fallen of their mourning mother: "When our Mother weeps and mourns for our Father, you dare betray them?!" or something like that.

I love when people add traditional knight imagery to the Dark Angels, it makes what is usually a some what boring chapter far more interesting. I really like this anon <3

[angelynmoon]

What if, instead of Merlin or Arthur or Morgana or Lancelot going back in time to fix things instead it's Gwaine, caught in a time loop, everytime he dies he ends up back in that tavern that he first met Merlin in.

--

The first time he meets Merlin, the very first time he still choses to fight with them, he looks into Merlin's confused blue eyes as he introduces himself and knows his life is forever changed.

Gwaine won't say it was love at first sight but it was something similar, a moment where it felt like the world fell into place, 'oh, there you are,' he remembered thinking, 'I've been looking for you.'

And that was every reason why he kept answering Merlin's call to help, he couldn't help it, it was nice knowing that he was Merlin's first choice to help, even if it was for Arthur.

The first time, that very first time, he didn't know about Merlin's magic, didn't know what he did to protect them, the sacrifices Merlin had made.

That first time Gwaine survived Arthur's death and Merlin's execution for having magic when he returned to tell Guinevere of Arthur's death. She couldn't pardon Merlin, the council overruled her and Merlin Burned.

Gwaine had stayed for Guinevere and Leon, to keep her safe as she worked to repeal the ban on Magic, for Merlin, for Morgana and all the innocents that had died for the anger and grief of one man.

Gwaine had died soon after, drinking poison slipped into Guinevere's goblet, choking and gasping as Leon and Percival had searched to capture the assassin Gwaine hadn't minded dying in his Queen's lap, held in her arms as she begged him to stay awake.

No, Gwaine hadn't minded dying, at least he'd get to see Merlin again.

Gwaine had woken in that dark little tavern he'd first met Merlin in, it'd been confusing but Gwaine hadn't minded that either, he got to relive finding Merlin, making him blush, falling in love with him all over again and getting him to fall in love with him back.

Merlin's sweet kisses made every heartbreak worth it.

The first few times, Gwaine didn't change anything, still thinking it was a weird afterlife, but eventually he couldn't bare to watch Merlin Burn again, threw himself on the pyre to go with him and learned that no matter how he died he'd end up in that no name tavern.

It wasn't always the same time that Merlin and Arthur would be there, sometimes it was years earlier, sometimes weeks, sometimes it was days, but it was always that same tavern where his life was forever changed.

There were times he ran from the tavern as soon as possible, he wasn't proud of it, but he couldn't fall in love just to watch Merlin Burn.

Gwaine would find Merlin eventually anyway, if not in the Perilous Lands, then he'd find him in the fighting ring while he looked for the Cup of Life.

Sometimes he'd meet Lancelot first and when Lancelot answered Merlin's call Gwaine would follow.

He fell for Merlin everytime, couldn't help it, he could no more stop loving Merlin than he could change Destiny.

He'd tried.

Sometimes he'd find Morgana and behead her without guilt, he'd burn her body like Merlin's had burned so many times and scatter her ashes far and wide, but nothing changed, in the lives that Gwaine killed Morgana, Mordred would take her place, in the lives Gwaine killed Mordred as a child, Merlin always Burned before they met.

In the few lives that Gwaine chose to behead King Uther before Morgana and Morgause could invade Camelot it was Gwaine that Burned, he didn't mind that so much, better him than Merlin.

Merlin never watched, always turned from the sight, those moments made Gwaine wonder if he felt the same loss as Gwaine did when the never had time to fall in love.

There was one life that Gwaine decided to kill Arthur instead and had been torn apart by Merlin's own Magic, he doesn't think Merlin meant to, not with the way the man had cradled him at the end as he died, that had been the first time Gwaine wondered how much Merlin had sacrificed for Arthur's life.

It wouldn't be the last.

He discovered one life that Lancelot knew about Merlin's Magic, that he knew Merlin intended to take Arthur's place to seal the Veil. Helped cover for Merlin when Lancelot was helping him with Magic Beasts and Sorcerers.

He never told Merlin he knew.

One life Gwaine chose to take Lancelot's place to seal the Veil.

The return to the Tavern was strange that time, it felt longer, colder.

But return he did, as he always did.

That life he proposed to Merlin instead of introducing himself, was shocked when Merlin said yes.

When he woke in Merlin's bed he'd kissed him and said he was still going to marry him if he was willing.

That life he'd stayed in Camelot from the first time, using his Noblity to avoid banishment, thankfully he and Merlin had already exchanged vows before Geoffry with Arthur as witness so Uthur could not stop him and Merlin from being together.

That life he died when Morgana wanted to set an example, that life Merlin had turned Camelot's castle into rubble and Morgana and Morgause into ash as Gwaine had bled out.

That life Gwaine had died cradled in the arms of the man he loved in so many lives as Uthur ordered his husband's execution, as Arthur tried to change Uthur's mind.

That life Gwaine had lived long enough to hear Merlin ask Lancelot to kill him with the sword that killed immortal men.

He did not live long enough to know if Lancelot did as asked.

After that, some lives Gwaine would seek Merlin out, he'd turn up in Ealdor and make a shy young Warlock fall in love with him, he never asked why the flowers he gave never wilted, and when he went off to Camelot, Gwaine would follow, would marry him in the quiet morning before they left Ealdor, Hunith smiling happily.

In those lives Gwaine told Merlin to share his secret with Morgana, to help her control herself, in those lives Merlin and Morgana stood together against Morgause, in those lives Magic was let free under Uther's rule and Morgana offered a child to them to raise, in those lives Merlin died an old man with grandchildren and the flowers never wilted in Camelot's castle.

In one life Gwaine went searching for Balinor instead if Merlin, he begged the man to share his knowledge with him, in that life Gwaine slayed the Great Dragon without remorse, a dragon's heart is on the right, not the left, Gwaine always remembered, and he took Merlin to meet his father in secret and watched as their relationship bloomed.

Why Gwaine returned to that Tavern when he died he never found out, there were no tales of such a thing happening, the Druids didn't know either and Uthur had burned so many books and the other Kingdoms had as well, even the Castle of The Fisher King held no answers for him.

But life after life he found himself finding Merlin, one day he'd find out how to break the curse of his family, one day he'd eventually live one last life with the man he loved, one day his line would be free, but for now, Gwaine wakes up in the Tavern where he met the man he Loved over a thousand lives.

"I'd like to see you try." Merlin snorted into his mug.

"You just had to open your big mouth, didn'tyou Merlin?" Arthur said.

And Gwaine, Gwaine got up to meet Destiny in a small, no account Tavern.

Maybe he'd propose to Merlin again instead of introducing himself.

--

A/n: just a little thought I had and demanded to be written.

You know for someone who reads mainly Arthur/Merlin, I never seem to write Arthur/Merlin.

[leagueofdccm]

CALLING ALL SHIPPERS ! ROMANCE ! TOXIC ! PLATONIC ! YOU NAME IT I'LL SUPPLY IT ! ( sounds like I'm selling drugs but I'm not I'm sell ships-- for free... ) I had to refresh it, make a new shipping call for those who are interested in not only paring our muses, but other dynamics involved as well. It doesn't have to be romance, it can be anything that involves our muses. Friendship . Family. Lovers. Exs . Fake Dating . Toxic . Found Family . Enemies to lovers . Soulmates . Honestly --- I'm one that is down for most things, and these are just some of the babes of all babes. I think it's time for me to reorganize my carrd, or also to see who is HONESTLY DOWN FOR THIS. Like if you want something to do with my muses LIKE THIS POST. Or comment on what dynamic muses you want, and we can work something out together. Once we have things settled, I'll also add you to the affiliated with a list, and also something I make random things, so be prepared for random edits of our muses cause when I'm inspired, I do that. Or even playlist !!!

BUT PLEASE COME ONE, COME ALL !! tackle down some of my muses, so they can 🦀grabby hands at yours right back :') !!!! SO don't be shy, I don't bite, some of my muses do though.

MUSES AVAILABLE : Starlight, A-train, Homelander, Soldier Boy, Ryan Butcher, Black Noir II, Joe Kessler, Maria Moreau, Hughie Campbell, Bubbles Utonium, Boomer Jojo, Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews, Sweet Pea, Maggie Greene, Rick Grimes, Jack Smith ( oc ), Michonne Grimes, Rosita Espinosa, Guinevere Beck, Peach Salinger, Ramsay Bolton, Jax Teller, Joe Goldberg, Mike Munroe, Adlden Campbell

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 13

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 1298

Masterlist

(I guess Joe's willingness to murder is more book-Joe than show-Joe, but whatever. I can't help that I'm halfway through the first book right now.)

Minor warning: masturbation is briefly mentioned.

Some things, you just can't learn about a person until you're in a relationship with them.

For example: you like to be kissed, often. Softly and sweetly, but also with intent, until you can't breathe. You smile into kisses and when I pull away, you tilt your head and the smile doesn't leave.

I live for that smile.

Also, you're not always nice. You run out of energy and you stonewall me. When you get like that there is nothing I can do to make it better, except leave. This happens most often when you've had a busy day at work, and one day soon we're probably going to have a beautiful fight about it, but for now I let you close down and shut me out. I really do try not to take it personally.

You don't care if I look at your phone. Sometimes you even ask me to check texts for you. This would make me incredibly happy, except aside from me, the only people you text in English are your coworkers.

You're more secretive about your laptop, which makes me wonder what I missed when I looked at it. I guess I didn't really do much digging. But when I do check it out again, even digging doesn't turn up anything.

Weird.

You're a bit of a slob. I knew that already, but I didn't know it would be so easy to take things from your apartment. You don't notice when items go missing, or if I move them around while you're not there. You did comment on your missing toothbrush, but you just assumed you misplaced it yourself.

“I swear, Joe, if my head wasn't attached to my body…”

All of this, I've learned over the course of two months. Two amazing months of being with you. Only it doesn’t always feel like I am with you, because you haven't told Nadia or your mother or even Grey about me, and I've been checking. After you told him you had a crush on me, he tried to find out more about me and you avoided the subject by writing to him about how much you like Angel from Buffy the vampire slayer. (If I could beat up a fictional character, I would.)

And we haven't had sex.

We've gotten close a few times, but you always pull away just when things are getting hot and heavy. Sometimes when you're alone, you masturbate several times in a row and I know you think of me, (Y/n). I can see it on your face. But when we're together, you look embarrassed and tell me you're not ready and I am patient, I am, but how can you not be ready when you are so obviously eager for it? Even dreaming about it?

I still don't like your coworkers. They are rude to you and belittle you, and they make inappropriate jokes in the groupchat. This is why I almost say no when you invite me to a company lunch, but in the end I say yes because at least you're inviting me somewhere.

“It won't be like last time,” you assure me. “No alcohol, for one.”

And you're right. It isn't like last time: it's worse.

I’m pretty sure your job is a scam, (Y/n). Nobody who works at your agency (other than you) actually needs to make money. The owner, Sam Carr, is a man in his fifties who considers this entire venture a hobby. He has two other companies, neither of which are making any money, but he doesn't need to make money because he is the kind of rich that goes back generations, to before white people even lived in America. Yet he pays you peanuts and you have to borrow money from your grandfather over and over again.

Sam's wife is Pam (which is short for Pamela, but Sam thinks it's hilarious for them to be Sam and Pam). She is only a little over half his age (thirty) and twice as smart as him, and you know this. You address her like she's the owner, and when she's around, you don't even talk to Kim, whose approval you were so eager for last time. Pam comes from old money, too, and has started several foundations throughout her life, all of which are doing well.

There's Judy Allen, who is tall and blond and keeps her lips pursed at all times. She does the same thing you do, copywriting, but her real job is being a momfluencer on Instagram, showing her kids off like accessories. Out of everyone here she is the nicest to you, but I can't tell if she means it or not and neither can you. You are nice to her, but you address her like you would a teacher, or a distant relative.

Jasper is so much worse than I remember him. He follows you around like a lost puppy and you let him. You glance at me, testing me, and I hate this side of you. I hate who you are around these people.

Surprisingly little is eaten, though there is much more on the table than even an entire orphanage could put away. You and your coworkers talk about Google and helpful content and black hat SEO and I don't understand anything any of you are saying.

At some point somebody asks me what I do. I grit out that I work in a bookstore and you look up and say: “he's being modest. He manages it” and I feel kind of proud. But then the person who asked me what I do in the first place starts asking me about the store's website and I have to admit that actually, Mooney's doesn't have one.

“I prefer things a little more old fashioned,” I try to justify, and then realize immediately how incredibly dumb I must sound to these people. “I mean, sometimes we sell a first edition on Ebay.”

You pat my leg underneath the table, which is code for 'shut up', so I do.

“You could always ask (Y/n) to help you make a website,” Jasper says, and he is looking way too intently at your chest as you reach across the table for a croissant. “She's surprisingly good at it.”

Surprisingly good? Seriously, (Y/n), I want to bash this guy’s teeth into his skull.

But you act like it's a compliment. You blush and wave him off and shake your head at me.

“You'd be better off hiring someone who actually knows how to make websites. I can write your content, though, if you want.”

I don't even want a fucking website, but I nod.

“Maybe.”

Finally, we can leave. I don't know what the point of any of that was.

In the cab, you slump against me and close your eyes, and you say: “Did you see the way Jasper kept staring at my boobs? I fucking hate that guy.”

Faith in you restored. I never should have doubted you.

“He just will not leave me alone lately,” you complain, and I wrap an arm around your shoulder and press a kiss to the side of your head. “But when I tell him off, he goes and tells Kim I'm being rude. She told me I need to be more of a team player, you know.”

But you are a team player, (Y/n). It's just that those people aren't on your team. I'm on your team.

“He's basically harassing me, and if I wanna keep my job I can't do a damn thing about it.”

“Fuck him,” I say.

And I mean it. Fuck Jasper. Fuck him and every man like him who thinks he can own a woman just because he has money and connections.

Jasper's gotta go.

[a-funeral-pyre]

May Day Parade 2024 - Prompt One: May King Mordred

I did an attempt at re-editing and finally posting an old fic of mine for @queer-ragnelle 's May Day Parade! Although I have to admit I am not fully satisfied by the translation, but there is not much that can be done for that. Here we go:

“Yit that traytour […] Turns hym furthe tite, and talks no more Went wepand awaye, and weries the storndys That ever his werdes ware wroght, siche wandrethe to wyrke” (Allitterative Morthe Arthure)

The sky should not have been so dark today. It is barely midday, and this should have been a peaceful day. But the sun is gone, along with any hope of changing things.

It doesn't cause you any pain. Darkness is your most ancestral memory.

You were born in darkness. You were always destined to live there. Generous hands have rescued you from the abyss only to lead you onto a path devoid of light.

Deep down, you have known it from the beginning.

Before you even knew who you really were there was a voice that came from the night and whispered to your soul. You knew you were fated to be more than just a fisherman's son.

You thought your destiny was to become the heir of a king. You realized too late that you had to be an avenger.

Your father must pay for what he did.

It seems everyone has forgotten the massacre he chose to carry out. Everyone except you. And now you will bring justice and take your rightful place.

You could have repressed your hatred if it weren't for the blood that unites you. You did not ask to be born. You are just the result of his actions, but he's always been too busy looking at you suspiciously to realize that. He never wanted you and he tried to destroy you as soon as you came into this world. The time has come to punish him.

And you don't care how many will be burned by your revenge. Not anymore.

You could have spared Guinevere. But she didn't deserve to have Gareth pay for her. You wished it was her beautiful, cruel face to be frozen in death, her head to be severed. She could have loved you. If not as a wife, then at least as a friend.

But you are the symbol of her husband's guilt, and this is enough to make you enemies.

Now it doesn't matter anymore. You stopped desiring her. When you return, seeing her become aware that in the end you won - the bastard, the traitor, the sick fruit of the king's sin - will be enough.

This time you are certain to win. The darkness around you is witness to this. You will have what is yours, you will avenge the victims of your father, your mother...

And yourself.

Maybe your father thought this time would never come. Maybe he believed that welcoming you into his court was enough to erase the fact that he tried to kill you.

He was naive enough to think you were harmless and he thought that, like everyone else, you couldn't see through his mask of justice and virtue.

All you had to do was look him in his eyes to know what he thought of you. A youthful mistake, a child that should never have been born, dangerous just for existing. He could never have been a father to you. He could never see you as anything other than an enemy.

Now he doesn't hide it anymore.

All your life you have done what he taught you. You have lied. You will rise to power by cheating and killing, as your grandfather did, and you will prove yourself to be your father's worthy son. Then the throne can only be yours.

You are not alone. You have an army with you. Men who saw you worthy of being king, men who long to see you in your father's place. And it doesn't matter that they only follow you for the benefits you promised them. They chose to help you. They chose to raise you to the place you should not have conquered by force. They are more loyal to you than your family ever was.

You have them, and more. You have the blood of kings on your side. You are about to kill a murderer If there really is a just God, He can only be on your side.

You can finally take off the mask you've kept on for years and breathe. For the first time, you are truly alive.

This unnatural night that has fallen on the world will be the dawn of victory for you.

The lie you have woven all these years has come to an end. Just a few hours and you will be king. You will get what you want. You will be respected, you will be loved.

You have to keep telling yourself this until it's all over. Just one last trick on yourself. Just enough to keep going.

Then you will be satisfied with having repaired the wrong you have suffered. You will be able to go on living alone. It won't be too difficult – it's just what you've done so far.

You were born for this moment, to follow the path that fate had written for you. You will have to be able to survive what comes next.

You will have to delude yourself that you can achieve victory. That you can be the master of your destiny.

You have believed in your hatred for so long that you no longer perceive its meaning, but you have gone too far to stop now. You've been alone too long to find a way to bridge the gap between you and your father. From the beginning you had to take on this role. Thus said the prophecy that shaped you.

Deep down you are aware that only emptiness will come afterwards. You've been waiting for this moment your whole life. And you are afraid, because without the desire that has sustained you so far you will no longer be anything.

This will be your last moment. If you survived, you could try to be reborn. You could truly live, finally, once you are free from your father's shadow.

But you are not made for the light of life. Only for this darkness. Only in this moment, now that you are so close to your goal, you really exist.

And nothing has changed compared to before. You are still completely alone.

You had no one to accompany you this far. If Agravain lent you his help, it wasn't because he believed in you. There is no seer who can advise you along the way. As if the fate that put you on this path had abandoned you from the beginning.

You are not naive enough to delude yourself that things will change when all this is over. You have to believe that it is a valid price to pay for what you are about to do, because now you can no longer go back.

You will undo everything you were, everything you are. You're not sure if you'll still be anything after that.

But you can't care about what you might have been if there had been another way. Not anymore. It didn't matter to your father, a bastard born of deception too virtuous to let you become king like he did. You should follow his example, at least this time, and bury all visions of a brighter future.

Even if you had the chance to rebel in the past, you can't do it now. You are just the shadow that must suffocate the light.

You see him, your father, in front of you. Proud and terrible. White and shining. The sun that disappeared from the sky was incarnated in him.

It will burn you, and you know it. You are already defeated. You're better off accepting it and giving up. He will never forgive you, you would die anyway, but at least you would have consciously chosen something, even just once in your entire life.

There's no more time.

As much as it is a crime, as much as it is useless and does not fulfill your hopes, you will do what is right. What you want, what you have to.

All you will do is fulfill desires that were never entirely yours. You have to accept your nature. You are just an instrument of fate.

And when your father dies, you will bring no new dawn. Only darkness and silence, again.

You could have had a normal life. Arthur might have made you his heir. Or he would simply smile at you, every now and then. He would have spoken to you with the same love with which he spoke to your brothers. If he hadn't believed in the prophecy. If I hadn't hated you. If you had not hated him, fulfilling your fate.

You never had a choice.

You had to get here no matter what. You have shed too much blood and tears. Gawain, who, however loyal he was to the wrong person, was still your brother, was only the last of the sacrifices, of the bodies you had to pile up to climb to this moment.

You can't stop anymore. There is nothing left that can save your soul, or at least deprive you of the painful awareness of having lived in vain.

Your father was a glorious and ephemeral flame. You were born just to turn the page.

Nothing more than this.

You existed for him, and together with him you will die. There is nothing you can do to change things now.

Just a moment and you will be free from everything. Whatever awaits you in hell will be no worse than the years you spent on this Earth.

And as his spear slides into you, as his light pierces you, you just wish you had another chance, to go back, change fate, and be happy.

But it's too late. Your name will always be a whisper in the darkness, a black stain in this shining legend, and in your torn body there is no longer enough breath to cry out your pain.

Camlann stands silently over your ruin.

[auntie-doom]

First I noticed Guinevere getting little mischief demon horns above her ears, then I saw I had them too. This is the mythical owner/dog similarity thing, right?

Health below. I haven't had energy/focus to scroll puppy pics more than a few minutes, I MISS ALL OF YOU and I am getting better every day.

It's 5 months from open heart surgery! I really felt like I plateau'd last month, accomplished nothing in both body and depression. In truth, I

finally got a DIAGNOSIS for Guinevere (hilariously, sadly, she too has a connective tissue disorder and there's scar tissue suggesting her shoulders & hips are sliding in & out frequently. Crap. PT time for babylady.)

dragged myself by the scruff of the neck back to the surgeon for final questions, discovered I need a CT for possible fluid in my lungs (that might be responsible for the feeling of plateauing) *and* got the CT scheduled

dragged myself to my doctor to make sure the weight loss doesn't look like something going wrong (it doesn't! so I was gaining weight while eating nearly nothing before surgery, and losing weight eating much more post-surgery. But it's not like, kidney failure or anything)

dragged myself into getting started with PT (why does EVERYTHING require communication and probably phone calls?)

reached 100 days in Duolingo, which I couldn't do before surgery, memory was too unreliable

dipped my toe into online courses, maybe I can get some formal grounding in bio and think about that vetmed PhD again. At 50 perhaps. Video is still usually difficult, this is iffy.

had my first few PT sessions, feel like I got stepped on by a Mack truck, feel better that it was tough but I managed to do it

All of that between January and March, so I *must* have done things in February, it just really felt like I didn't. Well. Go me! Maybe you accomplished more than you thought you did, too.

[streaminn]

Gotchu 👌

-

When Enid thinks of mom, she thinks of Esther.

It's a horrible example and Enid knows that, so when she thinks of mom, she thinks of anything but Esther. She thinks of a parent laying down clothes and clapping as the baby tumbles onto the one it wants. She sees a child never afraid to run and sink into their mothers embrace.

When Enid thinks of mom, she wishes for the one she could've had as a child.

So as she stares into the blue eyes of her own, Enid couldn't stop herself from reaching out and brushes a finger against that smooth skin.

"this is.." enid couldn't bring her eyes away, unable to stop the light spark in her chest when she sees the tiny curls of light blond that peaked out of the baby's teeny cap.

It was uncanny, how much she looked like..

"yours?" Tara finishes and it finally drags Enid attention away. She looked as beautiful as the day they met, even with the slight eyebags. Tara was swaying in her spot, probably trying to lull the baby to sleep and oh-

Something in Enid aches at the sight.

There's something different now. Gone is the rush of adrenaline, of the constant pitter patter of hearts. Now it's a slow steady beat, one that Enid can't ignore.

"really?" Enid makes sure and she is oh so tempted to squeeze the baby - her baby's cheek when she shuffles.

She's so cute.

Tara humms. "seems like you pulling out didn't work now did it?" a shot of worry went through Enid at that, everything they did was a rush of ecstasy to her but did Tara regret it?

The thought leaves a sick feeling in her gut.

"I'm so sorry," spills out immediately and Enid gives a hesitant step forward. "anything you need, I'll give! I don't know about housing yet but I'm sure I'll be able to support as much as I can." her fingers fumbled as she tried to list out what a mother and daughter might need. "like baby formula and oh don't get me started on teething! I can totally get you stuff for those-" it's a jumbled mess of words, of trying but enid didn't know what to do.

She's a sire now, she thinks.

Then it all clicks and Enid is now bouncing on the balls of her feet.

She has a child , that's something!! It's monumental, it's amazing and the fact that she didn't know sooner absolutely broke her heart but she's willing to do better.

If she knew that what they did would lead to this..

Enid knows that she wouldn't even be graduating, not if it meant missing her time in her baby's life.

Oh my god wait, it's not even just her-

Tara! A normie had to carry their child! Is she okay? How did she even handle it?

Did she have pictures of the ultrasound?

Just as Enid turns back to continue talking, she gets a finger pressed against her lips. It's so familiar that she couldn't stop a smile from growing. It seems like Tara thought so too, if her own tiny one meant something.

"you done yet?"

Enid nods, excited as one can be for Tara to continue.

"I don't need to be taught all of that, Enid." something sinks at those words. Oh god, was tara givi- "id rather learn it with you."

Oh.

OH.

"ofcourse," Enid says and before she could stop herself, she scoops her two most important people in her life into her arms. "yes, Tara please-"

Their heads press and Enid is given front row view to the way those lips split into a beautiful pearly smile. It's reminder that Tara gorgeous.

Oh their daughter is going to be an absolute killer.

"I'll hold you too that," Tara says.

"you can hold me whenever and however you want!" Enid chirps.

Now, when Enid thinks of mom. She doesn't think of Esther or the opposite of her.

She thinks of Tara and her smile.

Enid hopes their baby has her smile.

--

"wait so what's her name?" Enid asks, her baby now in her arms as she poked and prodded at her soft cheek. She feels like she's about to melt when her baby pressed her face deeper into Enid's wrist.

She likes my scent!!

"Guinevere," is Tara's answer as she leant onto the sire's side.

Enid chokes. "gweni-what,"

Tara raises a brow, her voice suddenly steely. "is her name going to be a problem?"

"No no no!" Enid backtracks, laughing nervously. "im just saying that maybe Winnie would be a good nickname is all!"

Tara humms, laying her head onto Enid's shoulder. "and maybe you have a point."

Enid gives a small sigh of relief before giving her lil Winnie a look.

Your mom is scary! She tries to convey.

The baby just babbles in reply.

[an-entity-i-think]

Merlin & Gwen Bestfriends

"Uh.... no."

Arthur watches as Merlin's nose wrinkles in confusion before falling into complete confidence regardless of the fact that it's one of the most backwards, stupid responses he has ever given Arthur in their years of friendship.

Which is saying a lot.

Eye twitching, Arthur almost seething, "What the hell do you mean 'um no'," he ends mockingly.

Merlin rolls his eyes before looking back at him with an 'isn't this obvious?' kind of look.

"Gwen tells me everything. And by everything, I mean everything."

Arthur makes a face as if he's not sure what that entails and not sure if he wants to.

"I do the same of course. She knows things about me that you'd only dream about knowing-"

Arthur's face intensifies on what that means and if he wants to know what that means, and also if he should be upset by what that means, and also also by the fact he isn't upset by what that may mean and what that may mean.

Merlin gives him a brief look of pity and amusement, before continuing.

"I heard all the juicy details about Lancelot when they were almost a thing way back. And I've heard all the more juicy details about you."

Arthur's eye twitches. He pretends it isn't from a mix of embarrassment and wild curiosity.

Giving him a fonder, softer look, Merlin finishes with a smile, "I've also heard about how excited she was to marry you for hours into the night. Just last night in fact. So, no. I bet if you asked her right now, she's probably crying or something in immense guilt and will probably say something like 'I don't know what happened, Arthur, I was suddenly there and it was just suddenly happening and I'm so sorry'," Merlin ends in a mystically good impression of Guinevere.

Arthur stares blankly.

Merlin blinks and then looks at him deadpan, "Because she was obviously enchanted. Probably from the bracelet she's wearing that I've never seen before. Probably from the fake Lance that was 'suddenly' revived that doesn't act anything like him. And also you should probably trust your betrothed more instead of thinking the worst of her."

Arthur just blinks for a moment before scowling, "And why didn't you day something half an hour ago?"

Merlin rolls his eyes, "Because Agravaine was there. And as soon as I say something he would have been like 'No, Arthur. Don't you see your manservant is trying to manipulate you? Never trust anyone blah blah blah except me of course. I may have abandoned you for years and only shown up right when you were most vulnerable but trust me! Unlike the others who actually love you of course...'"

Again in a weirdly good impression,

Merlin huffs exasperated as he grabs the rest of the clothes, putting them into a laundry basket, as Arthur just looks at him with eyebrows slowly rising, "And then! You would have been such a prat and started prattling on about you can't trust Gwen even though you've been together for years and know full well that she loves you and would never cheat and- ugh did you seriously stuff your socks under the sofa padding? What's wrong with you?"

Arthur watches as Merlin pulls out a sock from the sofa that's been there for who knows how long in disgust before flinging it into the basket.

Merlin looks up at him and blinks, "Wait what was I talking about?"

Arthur gives him a head ruffle and pretends he doesn't miss the softness of Merlins hair immediately after and walks towards the door, "I'm going to talk to Guinevere now. Bye."

Merlin absently responds in similar and the last thing Arthur sees before closing the door is his manservants face in disgust once again as he finds the other sock.

Well. Maybe he should talk to Guinevere first, after all. And maybe talk to her about some other things, too.

[clotpolemerlin]

You know, I don't think Merlin ever meant to "reveal" his magic. It was a secret, but unlike most secrets, it was never about trust or even the truth in general. Magic is feared and hated at BEST. In Camelot, people treat sorcerers like they aren't even human. Like you don't even have to do anything at all with your magic, just the act of having magic is worth a death sentence.

You don't tell people about that. It's not an option. There are really only two ways that can go. The first and most expected way is they will turn on you, despise you, and then likely kill you. Or the "better" option is by some miracle they turn away all their prejudices just for you, now they are walking around with a death sentence too. Its canon that Uther killed, or at least jailed, citizens just for UNKNOWINGLY sheltering a sorcerer for the night.

So again, not something you tell someone. Doesn't matter if you feel safe. Doesn't matter if the person is constantly hinting they are pro magic even. You can never ever tell them.

I don't understand why so many people, even in the show, asked Merlin when he would tell Arthur? As if there would ever be a safe time let alone a right time. I mean to be fair, it seems obvious right? Arthur is Merlin's friend and has proved multiple times that he is willing to compromise his beliefs and go against his father for his friends sake. So if Merlin took the risk, Arthur could just free magic and there is a happy ending for all, right?

Except how could that ever be? Arthur has also proved time and time again that he hates magic. He thinks it corrupts and kills and that there could never be any good in it. The best evidence to the contrary is one deleted scene where he is talking to Guinevere like one time about maybe it's not all bad. That's not a chance I'd take. Not when my life, and the huge weight of destiny is on my shoulders. Absolutely not.

So basically, to sum up this odd little rant: Merlin stopped ever considering telling anyone, let alone Arthur, he had magic years ago. It was a fool's notion to begin with. And he was probably right to