#harm

[joy-haver]

there isn't a "kill all the ____" that will fix the problems of the world, because, 1. you probably can't. 2. if you did, more of them would probably come into existence, or 3. other people would come to fit the same social position. 4. There isn't a group of Fundamentally Bad Evil People that Cause All The Problems, because 5. Harm isn't caused by a type of person. everyone causes harm and an effective system of addressing harm has to contend with that. 6. you will end up expanding the definition of ____ to include whoever else you want to kill anyway. which will suck. 7. Destruction without building will leave nothing behind. New harms will arise. Old harms will continue. Because there is nothing to replace them. There is nothing Helpful being done. a better world isn't created by just getting rid of all the bad stuff and calling it a day. you have to actually make something that meets peoples needs. 8. structures of power and harm sometimes maintain themselves even if no one intends them to or purposefully wants them to. 9. systems of power will end up finding a scapegoat. they will convince you that some marginalized group are the real ____ and you should focus on them. and in your zeal and blood thirst you, or at least some of your allies, will fall for it. And you will commit atrocities. 10. The world that is created can only come from the world that is. And look, whatever group you are thinking of -- yes I mean them too. Pedophiles, rapists, murderers, sociopaths, nazis, billionaires, cops, you name it. Harm and oppression is far too complicated to ever be solved with Finding The Right Group To Kill. And there are lots of really great arguments to be made about why eliminationist rhetoric is ethically bad, or historically questionable, etc. I am open to that being added on and talked about too. But my point is that It Will Not Accomplish Your Desired Results. You Will Have Committed Atrocities and You Will Have Failed At Achieving Your Initial Goal.

[feral-ballad]

Ada Limón, from Sharks in the Rivers; “To the Busted Among Us”

[Text ID: “I say to a stranger, I am harmless. / But the word doesn’t seem right. I have / been harmed, / but I do not wish to do harm, but I could / do harm. / (I am not without desire.)”]

[terracemuse]

[philosophybits]

Evil intent is always looking for ways to get a rise out of you. It uses insinuation to discover where you hurt, and knows a thousand stratagems to probe your wounds.

Baltasar Gracián, The Art of Worldly Wisdom

[autogyne-redacted]

You can't define harm in a way that is coherent.

You can't just swap it in for when you kinda wanna say abuse but don't quite wanna say abuse.

Don't just ascribe major political/social significance to a concept that's completely subjective.

The "ethicality" of an action cannot be judged based on how those actions feel to others without completely destroying individual autonomy.

Sometimes exercising your autonomy means doing shit other ppl don't like, including shit that will make them feel v bad (and will fit any coherent definition of harm) And you have to be ok with that and other ppl need to be ok with you doing that or (tbh) they're enemies to your freedom.

Everytime I turn down a dude who falls in love with me on sight it feels like kicking a puppy dog and I'm gonna keep doing it.

I've broken up with partners* in ways that destroyed them and the only thing I'd change is to do it sooner.

Ideally everything can be soft and gentle and amenable but you can't make that happen from one side of a dynamic. If someone leaves you with the option of compromising your ethics or feeling like you're being a bitch to them you gotta just be a bitch.

(*not referencing anyone who's on here)

[roseandgold137]

they’re so little…

[vizthedatum]

Accept that you will disappoint people.

radically self-forgive yourself so that guilt and shame don't become a part of your wiring

so that you can show up and be accountable

[victoriawoodhullforpresident]

The definition of bodily autonomy as “I can do whatever I want to myself,” is really disturbing. The idea that it is unethical to intervene in someone self-harming is practically dystopian. And the corollary that someone agreeing to harm you because you asked is the ethical choice is even worse.

[palatinewolfsblog]

"Words

are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble." Yehuda Berg.

[mrkmciver]

#EVIL Calculated

[twinsfawn]

COVER ART FOR HARM (IO ECHO)

[philosophybits]

One cannot suppress a certain indignation when one sees men’s actions on the great world-stage and finds, beside the wisdom that appears here and there among individuals, everything in the large woven together from folly, childish vanity, even from childish malice and destructiveness. In the end, one does not know what to think of the human race, so conceited in its gifts.

Immanuel Kant, Idea for a Universal History with a Cosmopolitan Purpose

[salmasfoggedforest]

Hit me, bruise me, cut me

[pisswater-deadgirl]

Sean Strickland vs Dricus Du Plessis - UFC 297

[liquidlightandrunningtrees]

The feeling that she had never really lived in this world caught her by surprise. It was a fact. She had never lived. Even as a child, as far back as she could remember, she had done nothing but endure. She had believed in her own inherent goodness, her humanity, and lived accordingly, never causing anyone harm. Her devotion to doing things the right way had been unflagging, all her successes had depended on it, and she would have gone on like that indefinitely. She didn’t understand why, but faced with those decaying buildings and straggling grasses, she was nothing but a child who had never lived.

Han Kang, The Vegetarian

[vizthedatum]

I’ve been in therapy for a while - was mandated to go by my school in senior year of high school (my first therapist was an asshole and got fired - he yelled at me and stuff but I didn’t report it), then really briefly in sophomore year of college, and then consistently since 2017 after I exited a very tough relationship (I remember my obgyn telling me how worried she was for me, told me to go to therapy, and told me that maybe I should admit myself to the local psych ward for a bit… while he was in the waiting room). I’ve had a couple therapists since 2017 including a brief stint at an IOP. I refuse to be admitted to any psych wards due to my trauma of seeing my brother be admitted on and off for over a decade (and I guess, other reasons).

I think I considered my therapy more seriously in 2017 but I didn’t really internalize my lessons and stuff until very recently.

It took a long time for me to dissect my sense of self, and I’m still working on it.

I have a lot that I’m undoing from my childhood.

Simply going to therapy isn’t an overnight, or even overyear (I made this term up), fix! Meaning, therapy is just one ongoing thing you’re doing for your self-care.

It’s okay that it takes you a while to wade through your life to figure out where you’re headed.

It’s okay if you succumb to your old patterns time and time again. I know I have! They’re patterns for a reason - it’s been very hard for me to break out of them, but I know I’m making a lot of progress.

I didn’t even fully acknowledge my transness and neurodivergence until 2021. (Also me: I didn’t even fully consider myself disabled until 2014 when my doctor (who diagnosed me with interstitial cystitis) told me so. But like I’ve been disabled my entire life - and I’m so burned out by telling myself I’m not.)

Being your authentic self is hard especially when society tells you that you should do XYZ and then you’ll be healed.

I remember my current boss responding to me “Still?” after I told her I was still healing after several weeks of a horrible bout of physical infection, physical flare ups, and a huge exacerbation of my PTSD symptoms last summer. She didn’t even know about my chronic disabilities or the traumatic events of my life - all she knew was that I had a couple of doctor’s notes about how I had an infection and I needed to recover.

I have come to accept that people will not understand the chronic nature of what I go through, let alone the mental aspect of it all. After all, my high school counselor told me I’d be homeless because I was missing so much school due to my migraines - it didn’t occur to her that I was a high achieving student or that I may be going through other underlying health or environmental things - she told a teenager that, and it’s haunted me ever since.

I have disappointed so many people in my life.

But I know that moving forward, I have to stop feeling so much shame about being me. Even if I disappoint myself, I must forgive myself and keep going.

I am loving myself more and more all the time.