#haven't started. and i need the first page of it in...4 weeks apparently. like one page? manageable in that amount of time but i like to

[cuartist]

websites are so headache!!!

realized most recent page wasn't showing up bc I accidentally saved it as a png so it wasn't correct, so fixed that and uploaded it, and then neocities proceeded to not acknowledge that the .jpg was a file that existed on the site, even with refreshing and deleting the caches, and if i changed the name of the file!! it was showing up.

somehow me changing the code for what the pages are supposed to be called and then changing it back made it be fine, but??? why

[butchsophiewalten]

FINDJACKWALTEN 6/29/23 UPDATE #2 WALKTHOUGH

Findjackwalten updated last night! To properly understand the content of this update, you'll probably wanna check out these other posts on the 6/27/23 update: [HERE] and the 6/29/23 update #1: [HERE] if you haven't seen them already.

This one's a fucking Doozy. The main page has updated to a full on Jack Walten Takeover.

Most of the existing page has been put under a red filter, and images of Jack and Rosemary (cut off in this screenshot) Walten have appeared. The 'page under construction!' text has changed to read "CLOSED PERMANENTLY. (effect:072074)", the second half of that being the date Bon's Burgers shut down. The play button present in the site's previous incarnation is still here, but now plays various Christmas carols, rather than Battle Hymn of The Republic, starting with Silent Night.

The "CONTACT & INFORMATION" button that became clickable earlier in the day still leads to an unchanged /0714-74 page.

The "MEET BON!" button that also became clickable earlier in the day leads to a /mynameis-bon but with Bon himself now missing.

The most significant update has been to /caretakerlibrary, which now contains four new audios from Richie.

Our first new Richie audio, Richie 3, is titled "AUD06-27-74opnn-nights" meaning it's dated for the 27th of June, 1974. The "opnn-nights" referring to it being the night before Bon's Burgers opening day. I've roughly transcribed this audio as follows:

Another day, another dollar, as they always say! Sorry- sorry, dude- just ignore that, I don't know- I don't know what I was doing, okay, uh, forget it. Yeah- yeah! Uh, tomorrow's the big day! You excited? Uh, Boss gave me some instructions to give you for today. So, uh- get those in a second. Uhm, I needed to- wanted to say I uhm, I put the chairs down. That, y'know, next to the tables, so uh, just- save you the hassle of having to do tha- having to do that tomorrow morning, so you're welcome. Uhm, uh, if you can, keep an eye on the uhh, the- whatchamacallit, Poker maze? It's, uh, pretty easy for kids to get lost in there. So, y'know, just, don't want anything to- anything like that happening. Just, uh, y'know, pop in like every minute or so, just make sure there's no kids crying, screaming, y'know. Actually, don't get lost in there yourself, either. You're still a teen, right? How old are you again? That's- doesn't matter, whatever, you'll be fine. Uh, don't worry about it. Unlock the generator room, uh, clean the bathrooms- especially the men's bathroom, more on that later. Uhh, right, right, right! Uh, keep the main stage curtains closed. Uh, for the time being, we uh, we transferred Sha to the secondary stage for this week, so she'll be next to Boozoo. The uh, Bon animatronic won't be performing this week, uh, he's uh- they- they gotta do an extra week of maintenance on him. So, that's a shame, but nothing we can't fix. Uh, luckily we do have a- uh, a costume! A, uh, Bon costume! Uhm, the uh, sister company gave it to us a while ago. So, y'know, if you wanna earn some, uh, extra bucks, you might wanna pop in that thing. Dance around, tell some jokes, whatever. Uh, Felix will probably tell you what to do, they're kids, they're stupid anyway, they won't notice. Uhm, just- try ignore the smell. Right, uh, that, uh- that reminds me. Uhm, uh- apparently, uhm, apparently some employee might've, uh, might've been, uh. Smoking pot. In the men's bathroom. Uh, so, uhm, just, just- um. Y'know, don't mind the smell, if you, uh, keep the windows open, just try and freshen up the place. Uh, make sure Felix doesn't notice. Uh- I- uh, wouldn't want whoever that was to, y'know, get in trouble. If, uh, if they did smoke pot in there, which I doubt. But, y'know, just in case. So, uh, yeah! That's it, goodnight.

The next audio, Richie 4, is titled "AUD07-01-74BCKSTG-DAY", meaning it was recorded on the 1st of July, 1974. I've transcribed it as follows:

Hey man! Okay, so, uh, we got some good news, and some bad news. So I'll start with the good news! So, uh, Boss is happy! He said we did good work- said we did good work on the first week. You did a good job with the Bon costume actually, I was surprised. I actually got it all recorded on film, so, uh, if you want, I can show that to you next week. Or, I could use it to blackmail you at some point in the future? Kidding, kidding, kidding. Uh, nah, I wouldn't do that. Uh, um, oh yeah, uh! I bet you're happy to hear: Bon will be back on stage by tomorrow! Yeah, uh, Felix set it up himself, so uh, maybe they worked out their differences after all! Sorry, just, trying to make a joke. Um, right, ah, okay onto the, uh, the not so good news. Uh, so, um, we- uh, we have a- um. We have a associate. I- uh, I believe she does the, uh, art for the restaurant. Um, she's been coming in a lot lately, she keeps going on about like, her, uh, husband or something. She's not well. Um, to put it lightly, I- I don't wanna sound mean, but. She, uh, there's something wrong with her. And, and uh, I- I believe you know her? Uhm, like, um, you've been talking to her whenever she comes in, um. I- I appreciate it, I appreciate it, right? Um, and I'm glad you are, y'know, helping her. Uh, but, mmn. How do I say this? Um, she's been- uh, she's been, uh, let go out of the company yesterday, and uh, so, it's now a company policy that if a former employee makes any sort of drama inside the restaurant, uhm, they'll be permanently banned from entering, so. Uh, if- if you see her again, tell her to keep quiet. It's, um, Boss' orders. Uhm, I'm sorry if that- I'm sorry if that's insensitive, um. Okay. Okay, uh, lighter note: nobody got lost in the maze! So, good job! Uh, you're a natural! Or whatever. Uhm, uh, okay, on with the, uh, bad news, I guess. More bad news, uhm. The backstage is now locked for the week. Um, I asked staff for explanations and they refused to elaborate, so um. Ba- uhm, Banny will be off the stage for a few days, uh, so, keep the curtain on Banny's stage closed. Uhm, what else? Oh, uhm, all of the, uh, animatronics must be sent to the men's bathroom at night, instead of backstage. So, uh, yeah! Uh, let me know how you've been. Um, I had a blast last week. I will say, uh, you make a really good cook! I'll tell you that. So um, yeah, see you tomorrow then. Goodnight!

The next audio, Richie 5, is titled "AUD07-12-74LLY-NIGHTS", meaning it was recorded on the 12th of July, 1974. The second part of this title likely is "Lily nights" and refers to Lily's birthday party. I have transcribed the audio as follows:

Uh, hola amigo! Is that how you s- is that how you say it? Agh, I never knew how to say it. Uh, yeah! Uh, good things are happening, my friend. Uh, the- the backstage is still locked. Uh, but! The, uh, the generator room is where we sh- should be, uh- should be keeping the robots for now. Right- uh, we actually, uh, we actually have a new one. Uh, agh, what's the name, what's the name? Bob- uh, Bobby the clown! Buh- buh- Billy the clown! Billy- ah- yeah, Billy. He, uh, just arrived yesterday, actually. Um, top of the line technology, man, I'll tell you. I- I was messing with their, uh, little radio thing all day. Uh, Bon seems to be working fine now. Uh, his- his, uh- his gloves keep falling off? Like, uhm- not gloves, uh, what- what're they called? Uhm, blue hand thing- y'know, the suit, uhm. And it's revealing the mech underneath. Uh, so just, uh, be careful with like, the hands and stuff. Okay, whatever, uhm. The, uh, oh yeah, we have a birthday party coming up! A birthday party on the, uh, the tw- no, uh, fourteenth? Yeah, the fourteenth. Uh, we're going to be using the, uh, Billy robot. It's actually, um, the daughter of one of our associates, uhm. Augh, what was the name? Forgot the name, doesn't matter. So yeah, uh, we gotta m-make it look extra good, okay? Uh, I might even come over, y'know, show up in the Bon costume myself. I dunno, we'll see how it goes. Uh, well, if you show up, actually, we could, y'know, stay smokin' in the arcade area? You smoke, right? Ah, whatever. Um, yeah! Look forward to seeing you there. Take care, man!

The last audio, Richie 6, is titled "AUD07-20-74CLSD-MRNING", meaning it was recorded on the 20th of July, 1974, the day Bon's Burgers shut down. Transcribed, it reads as follows:

C'mon, man, where the hell have you been? Some big shit happened, alright!? Whuh- we're- we're sh'down! It's fucking bad, dude, we are SHUTTING DOWN! We're DONE! We're fucking DONE, Alright? Augh, god, I- I- I clocked in last night, right? Some staff were still in the restaurant, right? It's all good, it's all okay. FOUR IN THE MORNING, I get a call from NORMAN, right, telling me the cops BROKE INTO THE PLACE, right? Some call about, like, SCREAMING inside the fucking restaurant? Whole neighborhood was freaked out. They- uh- they checked the place, most doors were locked so they just shrugged it off, anyway. There- there's nobody inside. But, uh, Norman's shutting us down! He said the- the- the scene it caused is humiliating. Alright, everyone's outside the fucking restaurant, claiming that somebody got killed! It's fucking BAD, man. Agh, he gave us, uh, THREE DAYS, we have three days to shut everything down. Ugh, sorry, oh god. Sorry, it's been a fucking crazy night. Uh, there is, uh, the bo- sorry. Uh, the Boss came up with a new plan, alright? He hasn't shared it with CyberFun yet. But, uh, long story short, we gotta take all the fucking items from this place and put them in a truck and take 'em to the storage place somewhere. Tha- he didn't say where. It- uh- it's BIG fucking money, dude, alright? It'll only take a few days. Uh, you in? Also, uh, just for the record, don't- don't tell this to anyone, okay? See you tomorrow, then. See you tomorrow, man. I'll be there at six, Bon's.

Revisiting the main page, the new Silent Night audio contains a peculiarity that might go unnoticed.

If you listen for long enough (a little more than four minutes), you can hear backwards text-to-speech audio overlaid on top of the end of The First Noel. When reversed, this speech can be heard as such:

Transcribed, this audio reads as follows:

"[We] here at BSI apologize for the confusion regarding the shocking scene from last night. Apparently, screams for help were heard inside our installations. Thanks to the help of the Brighton police department, this has been confirmed as a hoax and that nobody has been harmed inside our restaurant. Nevertheless, for budget reasons, we are shutting our doors until further notice. Thanks for joining us on this small adventure. Kindly, the Bunny Smiles family."

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Loki/Comic Collection Update 9/21

Now I know what you're thinking: Some of those things aren't Loki. But hear me out, okay:

Alligator Loki issue 1, from my comic book store: As I already stated in a previous post, this comic was delightful. I can't wait for the next issue to be printed. (I've tried to figure out when that will be, but was unsuccessful.)

Fence: Redemption issues 3 and 4, from my comic book store: Not Loki, but I love this series. It's by one of my favorite authors, CS Pacat, and I'm counting it in my haul post because it's a comic. I can't find issue 2, though (which doesn't mean my store doesn't have it), so I might just have to order that one from Amazon. I picked up issue 1 during Free Comic Book Day (it wasn't free; I just happened to see it available).

Loki: Agent of Asgard issue 11, from my comic book store: So my shop gives credit for back issues for every $50 you spend, and I've been holding onto this credit for like three weeks because it's not always apparent what you can use the credit for and I have social anxiety and would like to speak to Mr. Owner as little as possible (who may or may not be a distant ex of one of my aunts which was interesting at first and is now anxiety-inducing because my brain hates me). Also I finally found the (albeit skimpy) section of individual issue Loki comics. Most of the issues I already have in compiled volumes and omnibuses, but I'm trying to use up back issue credit so gimme.

Loki miniseries issue 4, from my comic book store: Disappointed it's the last, but excited for the ride. Maybe it'll tie neatly into Immortal Thor #1? We'll see. (No spoilers, please, I haven't read it yet!)

Axolotl notebook, from Box Lunch: Also not Loki, not even a comic. I love axolotls, and I needed a notebook to plan blog posts (even if I just used the second page to prep for a job interview, whoops). So it's borderline relevant.

The Mighty Thor issue 2, from my comic book store: Another comic from the back issues. I read some of these I think? But I can't remember if I read this issue.

Asgardians of the Galaxy issue 5, from my comic book store: Another comic from the back issues, even though I spent all the credits I had on Agent of Asgard. WHY IS KID LOKI'S HEAD JUST??? I love this cover. I've never read this series; I paid $4 for this just for the cover.

Loki: Sorcerer Supreme part 3 (Doctor Strange issue 383), from my comic book store: Another comic from the back issues, another issue I have the entire series in graphic novel form. This one doesn't even have Loki on the cover; I just like the imagery of Yggdrasil as the Giving Tree.

Pins: Alligator Loki and the horns, from Box Lunch: I needed more pins for my corkboard.

The Immortal Thor issue 2 comes out next week, marking the end of the comic half of Loki Marathon (though there will be more issues of Thor, there just won't be a new Loki comic every week). So I'm gonna be brave and at least ask how much the Loki figure behind the counter costs, and maybe even buy him. And I'm expecting something for my current collection (not merch or comics) within the next week or two that will make my display a little better, so there may be a collection update coming up.

And of course, with the end of the comic half of Loki Marathon comes the start of the tv show half of Loki Marathon, meaning more fucking merch to come. Happy collecting!

[kenobster]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better. I was tagged by @librarianladyx and @hellotemporaryuniverse like.... probably a month ago. Sorry for the delay XD Thank you for the tag!! ❤

Three ships: Ship is such a weird term to me because I don't use it the same way lots of ppl do haha. To me, shipping means me enjoying the dynamic between characters (which, depending on tolerance level, can allow romantic/sexual depiction, but usually stays completely platonic). So like my "ships" are Obi-Wan & Anakin, Obi-Wan & Cody, and lately, also because of @kcrabb88, Obi-Wan & Quinlan. But like, I also have to acknowledge that I'm not really smut-averse either.... But I don't really call the smutty things I like "ships" because the way I enjoy it is so fucked up and pretty much noncon. But like, if we were to talk about my smutty noncon ships, they'd be Anakin/Miraj, Vader/Obi-Wan (excluding ones where Obikin, even one-sided, is a thing prior to Anakin becoming Vader), and Anakin-Vader/Palpatine.

First ever ship: Hmm, I don't remember, but probably Aragorn & Legolas (though this was pre fandom life). Funnily enough, I think my first exposure to fandom (early teenage years) was actually Star Wars, too. I really liked Obi-Wan & Anakin then as well (also Obi-Wan & Siri)

Last song: I haven't been listening to music lately, but the last song I played on Spotify was "Don't Save Me" by Chxrlotte which @kcrabb88 recommended haha (and that was like... idk, a week ago? so yeah a little music-averse lately)

Last movie: My mom was hanging out with me while I did job applications recently and she played Airplane! (1980) on my tv. The movie was so fucking funny that I actually stopped my job applications to watch it with her.

Currently reading: ugh, I need to get back into reading, but I'm deep in Star Wars brainrot right now and can't read anything else. Currently rereading Dark Disciple whenever I can manage reading published books. A fic that I'm screaming about right now while I wait for chapter 2 is The Land of my Father (super unusual choice for me but it's so good, damn). And whenever my brain can handle a brief separation from Star Wars, I'm reading Sailing by Orion's Star by @kcrabb88 which is Very Good (lmao she has apparently affected my answers for like 3 of these questions, damn)

Currently watching: Star Wars: Rebels!! I just started season 4.

Currently consuming: String cheese

Currently craving: Validation omg, please comment on Every Shadow if you've read it and liked it. I had to post it a few days before the collection was revealed which means it got pushed several pages back on the search results (which is my primary source of readers). So I knew I wasn't going to get much validation until I post chapter 2, but I'm sad and greedy lmao.

I'm always anxious tagging ppl for things like this, omg, bc I'm worried someone will feel left out. So please please please, if you are reading this and you follow me, idc who u are, u are tagged. Yes, that means you. You. There is literally no exception to this rule and it counts as a real tag. So if you want to do it, there's no "technically" about it, I have tagged you. :) <3

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Summary: Winry sat in the optimal place to study in the school cafe for the entire fall semester. Then spring came, and suddenly some self-entitled twit who dressed like off-brand Gerard Way decided it was his territory. He was so not going to get off easy.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.8k words of coffee shop/college AU with a side of enemies to almost-lovers

A/N: It's finals week, I posted this on Ao3 at almost 5am, and if the rest of the sentence didn't make it obvious, I'm writing from unfortunate experience. Not beta-ed or proofread, although I happened to see one thing to fix when I woke up this morning. Feel my raw power. Rawr.

It wasn't that big a deal.

It kind of really was, though.

Every Thursday morning during the fall semester, Winry sat in the same spot at the same school coffee shop. It was the spot sent by the entire patron pantheon of cram papers. Maybe one person didn't need an entire booth, but it was in the corner, and the tops of the bench seats had opaque plastic barriers that just so happened to be perfect for minimizing excess visual chaos. For the most part, there weren't loud conversations, and the jazz music that came through the speakers helped her tune out people ordering coffee. Add to that the fact that she could use campus flex dollars and not her own bank account that was begging for mercy, and it was the perfect spot to get papers done.

But apparently not this spring.

As soon as Winry walked in, she noticed him in the corner. Some emo wannabe guy on his computer. Probably on Reddit complaining about how women didn't appreciate the amazing pics he sent them on Tinder. Or at least, it was a fair guess based on the sour look on his face. Why did this guy of all people have to steal the holy grail spot? Ugh. She was still gonna get her coffee, darn it.

"You know the deal, Sciezska. Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer."

"On it! You paying in flex?"

"Yeah." She scanned her student ID and lowered her voice. "Who's off-brand Gerard Way in the corner?"

"Who's Ger—"

"The punk kid."

"Ohhh. I can try to get his number for you, if you want."

"No, he looks like a total tool! And not the kind I like dealing with!"

"Which means you think he's hot. I didn't think you were into that type, but you're not wrong."

"For the last time, no, Sciezska! He took my spot! And I'm trying very, very hard to keep this to a stage whisper, but if you keep trying to set me up with some random creep, I won't be able to!"

A distinctly male voice grumbled, "I'm not a creep."

"Keep telling that to the girls on Tinder. I'm sure they'll understand eventually."

"Yeah, and I'll bet if you look at your 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign a little more, you'll understand it eventually." He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Nice Guy?"

"Lay off, it's eight in the morning. I said the only reason I even have a Tinder account is because my roommate stole my phone while I was going to the bathroom."

"Well, if you didn't want it, why didn't you delete it?"

"Eh, I figured if I really got sick of being single one day, it'd already be there."

"Never would have guessed you were single," Winry said dryly.

"Come on, it's way too early to be rubbing that kind of crap in. Who says I'm not fine with being single anyway?"

Sciezska timidly spoke up. "Medium roast with espresso and vanilla creamer?"

Winry thanked her as red jacket boy continued. "'Edward Elric, Bachelor.' Almost sounds as good as 'Edward Elric, Bachelor of Science.'"

"B.S. degree. Sounds about right."

"About time you stopped acting like I'm an idiot!"

Winry snorted. "That's not what I meant."

"Hey!"

"And with that, I'm going to go find some other spot to write my paper."

Edward, as his name apparently was, scoffed and mumbled something that sounded like "good riddance". Maybe the librarians wouldn't get on her case too much for bringing in coffee.

-----

A week later, Winry walked into the cafe, assuming the circumstances of the previous week were an anomaly. They were not.

"Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer," she grumbled and sulked in the direction of the corner seat.

"Hey, don't start with me again, blondie. I've had a whopping four hours of sleep and I can't promise you'll like what comes out of my mouth."

"We're at a coffee shop. Get some coffee. I can't help it if you're too hung over to be polite."

"Now look, genius. I did not stay up until 4 A.M. working on a stupid chem paper for that sadistic pyromaniac excuse for a professor just for some random chick to accuse me of being hung over."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And for your information, coffee doesn't really help me wake up. It just helps me focus on homework." He lifted up his empty cup and gave it a shake.

"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"ADHD is a weird thing, and yet, here I am."

"Huh, interesting."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off with the same stupid ten page paper I started last night."

"Oh right. Sure," Winry stammered. "Listen, I'm really sorry I just assumed things about you. It was wrong of me, and I'd like to make it up to you, if that's okay."

Edward eyed her suspiciously. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well...I could look over your paper once you're done writing it? I've got a paper of my own to write while I'm waiting, and I can sit right across the table here so you don't have to come get me. I won't try to talk to you or anything. Neither of us need that kind of distraction."

"Alright, alright. Get your coffee and sit down. The girl at the counter's been up there waiting for a good minute or two while you've been at confessional over here."

"Wait, she has?" Winry's eyes widened, and Edward laughed at her expense. He was kind of attractive when he wasn't scowling...wait what? She pouted and got up to retrieve her coffee. When Winry returned, she plopped down on the bench opposite Edward and opened her laptop. Peeking out from behind it, she added, "By the way, I'm Winry. I figured you ought to at least know the name of the person who's proofreading your paper."

"Well, Winry, you're the one who volunteered." The corners of his mouth twitched upward. The two worked on their assignments in silence, occasionally speaking up when necessary.

-----

Edward was in the corner again the next week as well.

"Hey, Edward! Mind if I join you for homework again?"

"Normally, I'd say no, but you didn't bother me too much last week, so you might as well." He turned away slightly.

"Great! Have you gotten your coffee yet? I didn't see a cup, and you got something the last two times."

"Eh, I haven't been here long. If you're going up and getting yours, would you mind ordering a caramel macchiato for me?" He asked, sliding his ID across the table.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be back in a sec."

She returned and slipped his ID back before pulling out her computer. "Do you have anything for me to look over this time?"

"Not this week. But if you have anything you need looked over, I can do that, too."

"Actually, I do, if you wouldn't mind."

"Winry, I just volunteered. Just send the paper to my school email. Mine's 'elricedwa'," he instructed as he proceeded to spell it.

"Medium roast and a caramel macchiato?" Sciezska called out.

"Coming!" Winry replied and turned to Edward. "I just sent it, so you should be able to start while I'm getting our stuff." Eyes glued to his laptop, Edward gave a thumbs up.

Once she returned with their drinks, Winry sat down and wordlessly set Edward's drink next to him.

"Thanks," he muttered distantly. His lips mirrored the words he was reading. Though his lips weren't plump by any stretch of the imagination, they were shapely. His steely concentration made the air leave Winry's lungs. To top it all off, the first rays of sunlight came through the window just right, hitting Edward's hair in a way that made it positively glow.

What was she thinking? Those were only the sorts of things people thought when they had a crush. She'd only had two positive interactions with him, including this one. ...well, maybe it was a crush. She could certainly do worse than someone with a questionable fashion sense. After all, he worked hard, and he got good grades, if the quality of his writing was any indication. Okay, fine. He was also drop dead gorgeous, if you could see past his clothing choices. Yeah, she had a crush.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"...no."

"Figures. I finished reading your paper. It's not bad, I just left a few suggestions for sentence structure. Now I am going to enjoy my caramel macchiato." He took off the lid and breathed in the steam with his eyes closed, nearly drooping into the cup in content. When he opened his eyes slowly, Winry was awestruck by the similarity between the color of his eyes and his drink.

"What?" Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything. At all. Nope."

"Okay." He shrugged. She reopened the document and went through his suggested edits. Gnawing her lip in concentration, she leaned forward a bit to settle in and tackle the editing.

"...hey, uh, Winry?" Edward gulped. "Are you going to drink your coffee?"

"Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks, Edward!" she smiled.

"No–no problem. And you can call me Ed, you know. Most people do. Except for that excuse for a professor that calls me pipsqueak. Can you believe he's my advisor? I mean, come on, I'm a grown man. I'm not that short."

Winry made a poor attempt at containing her laughter. "Okay then, Ed. Prove it. Stand up."

"Fine." He slid out of the booth and stood. Winry followed suit and appraised their respective heights.

"Well, I'd hardly call you tall, but you're at least taller than me by a few inches, for whatever that's worth."

Edward grinned as if he had won some sort of prize. "Time for shorties to sit down now!"

"Watch it now. You're not too far from that label yourself, mister."

They both returned to their positions in the booth and worked steadily for the next hour. At the end of that time, Winry closed her laptop. "Ed, are you okay? You seem distracted."

"ADHD. I'm always distracted," he dismissed.

"No, like, are you sick or something? You did get more than four hours of sleep this time, right?"

"No comment." Ed's mouth twitched. He mumbled barely loud enough to hear, "Wouldn't have mattered anyway."

"Are you sure? If you're not feeling well, I can drive you over to the health center."

"N-no. That's not it." He exhaled, then slid a napkin across the table. His hands trembled slightly. "Anyway, here's my number. In case you need me to look over a paper. Or whatever. I've got a class soon."

Winry blushed, but tucked the napkin in her laptop. "Thanks, Ed. See you next week?"

"Yeah. Next week."

-----

Winry: This goes with your major, right?

Edward: Blocked

[neo-culture-mafia]

IV. Sorry, My Dear

⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️

The following story contains themes of suicidal thoughts and addiction. Please do not read if you find these themes triggering in any way. Read this post before reading this piece of FICTION

Have you heard the story of the guy,

Who decided not to die?

"Another day at the office...another day in hell." Jae mumbled to himself. The black lettering seemed never ending as he moved page after page.

Everyone was long gone and he was left with his thoughts that reflected the current state of his desk: scattered and full on unwanted words.

"Come on, Jae. Let's go get drinks with Boss." Jae had mimicked the voices of the other associates that worked in the office today. "No. I'm good. Got to finish this work. Beep-boop-boop." He moved his arms in a robot-like fashion.

"Look at me. Working me life away. Jaehyun. That's my name." He moved the papers in random places. This would be Jae's 4th breakdown this week where he needed to tell himself to hold on until tomorrow.

Johnnny looked on in concern from behind the entrance wall. "No good, Jaehyun. Don't wear it out." Jae's hands waves over his head in a dramatic fashion as he pushed himself around in his wheeled office chair.

It wasn't until Johnny saw Jae's hands form into a gun shape that he intervened in the middle of his best friend's scary emotional outburst.

"Jae! There you are!" He rushed over and punched his friend's arm. The look in Jaehyun's eyes made Johnny uneasy. It looked like he had been caught which made him break more. "You almost finished? I wanted to catch a movie with you and maybe have a hangout night," Jae was taken aback by the energy outburst at 2 am.

He could only look at Johnny's excited face from where he sat in his chair, strands of hair obstructing only pieces of his vision. "I got the new Call of Duty and PubG for the console." Johnny's hands rummaged in his pockets till he pulled out his phone, his eyebrows wiggling fiercely. "It's only...2:17. We got all the time in the world."

Johnny picked up Jae's suit jacket that was thrown over the cubicle wall and the younger boy's heavy bag. "I'll drive." Johnny pulled Jae up and turned off his lamp.

They were in the darkness of the office and Jae was still shocked that he was caught before he got worse.

"What do you wanna eat? Steak? McDonald's? Junk food?" Johnny's rambling was tuned out of Jae's mind. He followed the taller man willingly down and out of the office building and to his familiar car.

"Uh...doesn't matter." Was the first thing that came out of Jaehyun's mouth. "Then we'll get everything." Johnny's laugh made Jae's heart swell with hope for the first time in weeks.

'Maybe next time,' he thought, 'I'll hang out with Johnny one last time.'

The car ride was filled with laughter and being in the cold air surrounding the both of them.

Johnny still wonders to this day what would've happened if he didn't walk in the time he did. He had been called to pick up the paperwork from Jae's desk but was met with a sad reality.

Jaehyun wanted to escape reality.

Just kill me in my sleep,

Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen

This was it...this was the day. He's written the letters and found a place to go calmly. He was in a euphoric sense that nothing really mattered anymore.

He had been on cloud 9 all week as he's happily been overworked and no one ever asked how he had been doing.

Right now, he was just driving. Driving to take in his home city one last time.

The sun was setting when he came to Han River Park. The clusters of happy people congregated in small bursts of happiness and 'its okay' and 'everything will be alright's.

He parked and stood at the grass's edge. He took deep breaths as the air swept across his body calmly. "Everything is so beautiful." He whispered to himself as he watched the birds dance across the water with such grace.

The lump in his throat that made it home was beginning to ache. Yet, he swallowed his pride and continued looking over the people who would continue their own story's even after his had reached the end. The credits would roll and everyone would walk away from the theater without a second thought.

"I mean. I get that's it's pretty. But I haven't seen someone cry at the scenery since my last romance movie." He was snapped out of reality to see a girl standing next to him.

"Excuse me?" Was all he could manage to get out.

You chuckled, sticking your hand out. "Y/n." You introduced yourself and he was trying to not shake your hand, look the other way, and leave without another word being exchanged.

"Jaehyun." His actions spoke for him as he reached his hand out to meet yours. Your hand was soft and warm in his. A warmness and calm he hasn't felt in a while.

"I'm gonna go get some ice cream. Wanna come?" You barely knew him and we're asking him to accompany you to a sweet treat. "You don't know me." Jae got defensive, his arms crossing over his chest.

"I could be a murderer and you invited me for ice cream?" His questions had your face turn up. "Well I'm sure that murderers like ice cream too. So let's go." You grabbed his arm and pulled him down the long stretch of concrete. You walked and tried to match your steps with his long strides. Your arm cutely wrapped around his as you walked.

"So tell me about yourself, Mr. Jaehyun."

He figured living was just easier than falling really high

"We need to clean." You whined while rolling around in the vast bed full of messed up sheets and a relaxing Jaehyun. "Not now. I just wanna cuddle." He grabbed your body and held you close.

"No. We've been cuddling all day. We need to clean." You got up and pulling at his hands. "You can clean the closet and I can clean the rest of the room. Then cuddles." You reasoned and he groaned as he got up, giving into your wishes.

"Fine." He automatically sat on the ground and opened your shared closet doors.

"I'll be tidying up around here." You ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head sweetly. "If you need anything just shout." He called as you exited the room to probably start on the kitchen.

Box after box of paperwork and more paperwork from the last 10 years of working in his like of work.

Your singing could be heard through your house as you comedically sang some of the greatest hits. His laughter broke through the apartment when your own voice shook with laughs.

He came upon some photo books with Polaroids of you and him. The last 2 years had been lived in a heaven like state. He hadn't touched alcohol and drugs like he was earlier in his life...before you changed him.

His physical and mental growth were apparent in the pictures as he flipped through the pages. Your hand drawn hearts and small journal entries under some photos had his heart beating rapidly with joy.

He put the book next to his side to look at later with you. His hand came across an unmarked cardboard photo box that had a thin layer of dust on it.

He jiggled the lid off and was met with envelopes. The letters. His notes to his bosses and his friends apologizing for what he was about to do.

Apologizing for the mess they were going to have to clean up in his apartment and in the office where his files would never be filed. Apologizing for giving up so easily and not serving out the rest of his life like he had sworn. Apologizing for not being strong enough to ask for help when he really tried to make it obvious. Apologizing to whoever had to find him after it was all said and done.

Apologizing for not saying goodbye.

"Hey. Do we have any tile cle- oooo letters. Who are they to?" Your voice had made Jae jump like when Johnny caught him that dark night in the office. Like he was caught doing and thinking stuff he shouldn't be.

"No one. Me. In 50 years. Y'know," he shrugged, tossing them back in the box and throwing them in the closet and standing up quickly, "time capsule thing me and the guys did." He shrugged it off and you could only nod.

"Well that's cool. Can't wait to see how you've grown." Your smile had his own lips mimicking in want. Wanting to have your blissful ignorance of what those letters really were.

"Oh yeah. Do we have any more tile cleaner?" You asked and he lead you out to the closet where he scowered the top shelves in search for the cleaning supply.

"You can have it. For a kiss." He held it above his head. You waste no time in kissing his cheek and pulling on his arm till you grabbed the cleaner and ran. His laughs chased your own as you both wrestled for a while.

Both of you laid on the living room carpet, just enjoying the close presence.

His heart was at peace.

I'm okay,

I'm okay,

I feel a little bit sick

You had began to notice how Jae had been getting more dull. A year had passed since the night you pointed out the letters. It began to go all down hill from there.

He gave you the same love and affection he usually did, but his eyes held no emotion to big events outside. Alcohol had started to replace meals and sleep.

"Jae you need to eat." You laid a hand on his shoulder softly. "I'm actually going to go grab a drink with some of the boys." And like that. He was out of the apartment. Yet, everytime he came stumbling in the front door with a stench that could repel nuclear waste, you nurses him into bed. Setting an aspirin and water next to his head. Most nights didn't wrap up until 4 am when you knew he was home safe.

You slept with your arms wrapped strongly around his body, afraid he would try to get up and leave to drink again without you noticing.

Mornings would be a rough time as you awoke to a sick Jaehyun who couldn't tell left from right. You were there were comforting words and endless services if bet only asked.

His guilt ate at his chest till there was a free falling feeling that would cease when he took his first shot.

He knew he was getting bad again. He knew he needed to get help but everytime he woke up to face an aspirin and a cool glass of water, the guilt made him drink even more the next night.

He sometimes wished you would leave him to make this easier on you. He wished you would fall out of love and go to bed before he got home.

He wished you didn't introduce yourself in the first place.

But have you heard,

The story of the guy who decided not to die?

Jaehyun got clean again. He started being more present in reality and eventually returned to normal. Sometimes he did get carried away with the alcohol but you were there to help him put down the bottle.

He started openly hanging out with his friends in large gatherings where he didn't mind starting the conversation. He got addicted on life again.

You were all out on a big dinner. You and the other women of the mafia men gathered in the social room while Jae and his closest friends talked and joked around in the parlor.

"Want another drink?" Mark asked as he nudged Jae's elbow. "No I'm okay. I hit my limit for the night."

His friends were the most supportive people that he originally thought wouldn't be. Once be reached his limit, they all switched to fruity drinks followed by water. "So I need your guys' help with something." Jae smiled, taking the blue chalk and rubbing it on the worn end of the billiard's stick.

"What's up, dude?" Johnny asked and all the boys tuned into Jaehyun and his request. "I want to propose to y/n." He said and the room automatically erupted in shouts and cheers. "Sssshhhh." He tried to shush everyone. They remembered the presence of the women in the building and quickly shut up.

"Y/n said she wanted a wedding in the flower fields about.." Jae recalled the previous conversation he had with you. "2 hours from here?" He said and Hyuck automatically knew which ones he was talking about. "It's going to have to be a spring wedding!" He said excitedly and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen from his pocket.

"Alright, lover boy, spill." He said knocking all of the pool balls out of the way, "hey we were playing!" Doyoung protested and Hyuck could only write down the location of the fields, "I'm helping our brother get a wife. Go play with your balls somewhere else." He back handed which caused the room to erupt in laughter.

"Okay. Now. I'm going to need time to get the catering. I'm thinking pork," Hyuck rambled writing down the possible ideas, "or is she more of a chicken person?" he continued which caused some of the boys to chuckle at the wedding-excited nature no one knew Hyuck possessed in himself.

"Also I need to find a cake. I would make it myself but we all know that these beautiful hands would be wrinkly by the time I'm done icing cake for 500 people-" "500?!" Jae said loudly which caused Johnny to slap a hand over his younger friends mouth. "Well duh. That's a minimum." Donghyuck shook his head, drawing a picture of what the cake needed to look like. "amateur."

"I need to get the ring first." Jae said quietly and Taeyong piped in. "Don't even worry about it. I'll take you in the morning to the jewler's to pick out the bands and diamonds. Maybe you could get an engagement ring with her birth stone then the real ring with yours and your wedding band could have hers." Taeyong started rambling ideas, Hyuck writing lightning speed on the pad of paper.

"I call doing the gifts!" Mark and Jungwoo said at the same time. "I'm nominating myself as the planner." Hyuck said writing the roles down. "I'll get the tuxes for us." Taeil nominated himself for the job with a smile. "We need to get Yuta and the rest of the boys up here!" Doyoung brought up a good point.

"Yuta will just bring baby supplies. We're not telling him until a day before the ceremony." Hyuck pointed at the boys but was met with a hit upside the head from Johnny.

"I have to find out the color palette. I'll go to Renjun and then I'll go to Jaemin for the fireworks- Jisung will be the flower girl." Donghyuck kept rattling off things he needed to get done.

"Thank you for giving me this job. I won't let you down." He finally said, laying a hand on Jaehyun's shoulder.

"Better not. It need to be perfect for her. Perfection deserves perfection." Jae said and some gagged while other coo'd at his unwithering love you for you.

The chatty hustle didn't cease as Johnny patted on Jaehyun's shoulder. "You okay?" Johnny asked with a smile on his face. Jaehyun couldn't keep the smile off of his own face. "Never better. On cloud 9." He said and Johnny's heart eased from the constant fear of Jae not being here the next day. But he didn't need to worry anymore.

"I actually need to ask you." Jae said finally putting the polished stick down on the table. "Will you be my best man?" Johnny's eyes lit up like fireworks as he brought Jae in for a manly yet friendly hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Jaehyun."

I'm enamored with the thought of seeing angels in the sky singing,

Singing, "Everything's alright."

Jaehyun proposed the next week. You both went out to an amazing and fancy moonlit dinner where you both danced and decided to start this new journey together.

Then two days after the proposal, he relapsed the worst he has ever had. Johnny found him in your guys' apartment and immediately called you and everyone who he thought he could help.

It's now present day and you can only look at Jaehyun with guilt in your eyes.

The funeral was held in the flower fields you both planned to get married in. The day was cold and dark but he had never looked so happy in his final resting place. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the happiness you craved." You kissed his cheek before the lid was finally closed.

Now the marble had been set in place and you were alone again.

"I'm not mad. I'm jus-just so...so sorry." You wept, reaching out for him.

"I read the letter and can only ask. Why?"

The only things he had left was a damn note with the words, 'Sorry, My Dear' signing off the page as if he deemed it enough. As if his love had a capacity limit.

"I'm sorry you-you thought I was going to leave you if you told me you were so un-unhappy with life." Your stuttering didn't come to a stop as you could only imagine tears streaming down his own cheeks wherever he was in the universe. The feeling of being ashamed sent you reeling down where you had to support yourself on your knees.

The silent sobs hurt your chest as you had this free falling feeling in your chest getting more deeper. It was as if someone was pounding your chest with a drum mallot. Your heart was breaking as you felt a hand on your shoulder. Yet, you knew no one was there.

"You promised me forever." Your voice was shaky as you brushed the stray pieces of grass away from the marble in the ground.

'Jaehyun. Found happiness in where ours couldn't reach.'

"And I promise, Jae. I will love you...forever."

"And I'm so proud of you for making it this far." You whispered, fingers tracing his name on the polished marble for what felt like the millionth time.

You laid on the ground next to his resting place and looked into the vast blue sky where you imagined him reaching down to you; his soft voice that he used to sing you to sleep with carrying you with him to where you both could live happily ever after. You lifted your hands up as the tears came down.

"You did well."