#he feels it would've been easier with say... Carlos

[akumanoken]

Souji: (on a private line) Emi are you sure there was no one else for the mission?? It's hard to do what I need when Leon is incapable of playing along....

Emilio: honestly he's the only one I can trust to keep you on task and keep you safe, so if he gets spiny deal with it. You're a menace during these missions and one of you has got to keep their head on straight.

[bahrtofane]

Promises under the stars pt2

Tag list - @leanastarkey

@moonlightbaesstuff

Part 1. READ THIS IS U HAVENT PLEASEEE

Part 1 Jude pov

—-

Jude Bellingham x reader , Carlos Sainz x reader

Word count - 11k+ (I’m sorry. )

Watch it -angst. Talks of pregnancy, divorce. Kinda stalkerish behavior ? This one’s a little all over the place ngl.

Many of you and probably wondering who this man is. Don’t worry you will find out soon ^^

The long await pt 2 my god it’s finally done ENJOYYYYYYY

——————-

Jude is 6. He's clumsy, he's full of wonder. He sits in a field picking at flowers and grass while you sit on your stomach watching the bugs dance. He likes you a whole lot. He thinks you're very nice and his mommy said that you're always welcome. He wonders what will be for lunch. He doesn't know what will come much later

The rage hasn't found him yet. It will. On a cloudy afternoon when he sees you standing hand in hand with a boy you swore to hate. Hot knots form in his stomach when he sees you smile at him. He wants to punch him square in the mouth.

He’s 10. And it's only the start.

It will find him again. When he's much older, floating around through his life. Floating isn't the right word, there's nothing soft about it. When he's being dragged by it. By force. Kicking and screaming as pleads tumble from his lips to just go back to the field one more. This time he’ll pay attention he screams. He promises.

Just one more time. Anything to relive it over again. To make things right with you. To at least own up to what he's done. One chance.

It will never come. He knows and yet he still tries.

On Judes 25th birthday does the rage visit him once more. Almost like an old friend if there was anything friendly about it. This time he’s sitting in his shower, letting the water pelt his skin as he cries. There’s no soft touch of friendship to accompany the lashings.

It's a dull pain, one that starts at his throat while he tries to hold back sobs. His body betrays him, lips cracking as he tries to use his hand to bite back each cry. It spreads down to his chest, heaving breaths trying to take in as much air as he can without swallowing any water.

It proves to be too great, he starts to sputter and cough, getting up and leaning against the walls of his shower. Turning his face from the shower head. He still can't breathe. The tightness in his chest only grows till its the weight of his actions pressed against him.

It moves till his hands are shaking, and his legs are having a hard time keeping him up. He turns the shower head down to only hit his feet, sitting down in the showers built in seat.

Oh how he misses the fields.

—--

You miss the fields.

There are days when you drive by just to feel something if not feel like yourself. No matter how old or far away the self might be. It's still you, isn't it.

You wonder what life would've been without him. No fields in the summer and chasing through grass till you couldn't anymore.

His mother told you once when you were much younger, perhaps kinder, that you were always welcome. She said it as a passing comment while handing you a plate of cookies while Jude was already half way done with his.

Neighbors. You were neighbors. You forgot.

What more will you forget? Bits of pieces of your past that will fizzle away only to be brought out now and again. There will be a time where you won't remember, you know. Perhaps that will be a good thing. Make it easier on everyone that way.

You still miss the past. You miss them. Before everything went the way it is now.

You will miss them some more.

You're set to leave. Moving out of Birmingham on your birthday. You think it's too symbolic, but things just ended up this way.

You spend the night before smoking till you can't see straight. When did you pick the habit up you don't know. You bounce between cigarettes and weed. Whatever's available.

It calms you down, you say to no one in particular, white stick hanging loose from your lips as you look at your bare apartment. Curled up on the floor in a blanket. Your hair is wet. You just showered. You think youll go to sleep with it wet. You're so tired. You don't even stay up till 12 to see the birthday messages pour in.

Pouring in is an exaggeration. You only get a few when you wake up, bright and early. Mainly from family along with the gifts they got you earlier in the week. Your birthday gifts go neatly in a suitcase as you head to your new life in London. You thought about moving out of the country, somewhere far away and perhaps tropical. Nice beaches and clear skies to wander under. But you like your familiarity. And the job offer came just at the right time. So here you are.

Packing the last bit of cake from this morning in tupperware.

Your birthday was rushed this year. You weren't going to do anything till settling into your new place, but your friends insisted on doing something at your home one last time. So at a brisk 9 am your friends fill your apartment for the fastest birthday you've ever had. Cake set on the table, hat placed on your head, candles set ablaze as you make a wish. Eyes closed and begging.

You wish for things with Jude to be as they once were. You wish for him to find his way back to you. You wish to be welcome again. For the fields to kiss the tips of your fingers as you run your hands through the grass. You wish to never forget. You wish for peace. As foolish as that might be.

A click of a camera makes your eyes open. Hugs and kisses as you get passed around. There's people here you don't even recognize but you try not to be too grumpy. They all help out anyway. Cleaning up any last bits of dust and dirt and traces of you from the cream walls.

Once upon a time the same space would have held Jude, celebrating with you and wishing for more years to bless you.

But now it's completely empty, everyones left. And soon you will too.

You've decided to drive the way to London. You packed most things into the small cargo trailer that attaches to your car. The rest lat minute things go in your actual car. Snug as a bug.

Your family stops by for some last goodbyes and birthday wishes, making sure you have what you need, and off you go.

You haven't cried the whole day, not for the weeks leading up to the move. But for some reason the second you pull your car onto the road you're a mess. You dont get more than 15 minutes before you have to pull over and just sob.

Why? You pretend like you don't know. Pretend to lay in oblivious embrace by your own stupidity. But you know, oh how you know.

The same face never seems to stop from tormenting you. You bring your own misery. And you can not stop. Almost entranced by the dance that brings your own demise.

It’s Jude. has been for as long as you can remember now. Seems like it'll remain as such. Even after the whole marriage fiasco. You can not look away, not for a second. Not letting your tormented soul know a moment's rest in favor of knowing his joy. It's hard to move on so you live through twitter updates of his life and the occasional news article. Feeding off of second hand news of a man whose words used to be pressed against your skin till he was all you could feel, see, reach, touch, know.

His warmth has long seeped away from your skin. If you close your eyes just right, you can swear you still feel it.

You wonder if his wife knows this. Funny enough there's enough divorce rumors to actually make you laugh. It brings you the closest thing to ease you can feel nowadays. The possibility of his marriage ending.

You spend your time being chased by the ghosts of your past, by the shadow of Jude you swear you always see from the corner of your eye. The feeling of his hand on your back guiding you through crowds.

His wife, who you find out to be a girl named Kaylie, cannot go a week without arguing with him somewhere public and it is getting plastered all over social media and tabloids. It seems like the media has long since forgotten about you. Which is good you guess.

Has he forgotten about you? Does his memory fail him as well?

Does he keep all your memories somewhere far away from here? Or does he keep them close. Nothing more than an arms length away for him to bring to life once more.

There are days where you grieve for the life you once lived so violently it scares you. Caught up in the past and unable to truly move on.

Other days are better, and you think not of the man who once had your heart.

You hope to have more of those days.

You wipe the tears from your cheeks, freshening up and doing a once over in the rear view mirror. It's time to get going. Not just from your old home, your city, but everything it holds. All it means.

It's time to leave Jude behind the way he did to you.

—--

London is quick and crowded. You find a rhythm against the rain that beats the streets. Find your footing on the pathways. Even if you miss your home, and the familiarity of your old life.

Your new place is much smaller. No large living room. Smaller bathroom. But you love it. It feels much better. Free of your past. Untouched and only known to you.

It takes ages to move in fully, and you don't even have all that much stuff. The trailer proves to be a little bit of a hassle getting into your parking garage but you make it in one piece. The first day you only bring your suitcase full of pjs and essentials. You don't start work for a week. You have time.

In the meantime you explore. Scouting out cafes and grocery stores. You do a little shopping spree by the third day. You get sick of take out, making a few favorite dishes while you people watch from the balcony in your bedroom (you have one in your living room too!).

On the fourth do you actually move in all of your things. It takes multiple trips up and down the elevator from the underground parking garage to your building's lobby and then up to your floor. But you do it. All by yourself.

You get the main things out and sorted, leaving the decor for last. You have an in unit washer and dryer which is really nice. It came fully furnished so there was no need to bring any of your old things with you so you sold them. Couch and table and all. Good riddance.

By the 6th day you're completely moved in. and the place starts looking like yours. You settle in for a movie scrolling through work emails and any last minute things to get done.

You actually did it huh.

—--

Your new workplace is vibrant. So you find colorful hues to pick at, pass your time with. One particular color comes in the form of Carlos. He's red, you decide.

He’s a few years older than you. Lips are usually pressed into a thin line, concentrating on all that's around him. Or on some days you find them to be cracked in an easy smile. He's experienced and been around the block of many things. He's warm and inviting, chatting with anyone with a smile and ease. So different from the Madrid star boy that plagues you.

You come to learn Madrid is Carlos’s home town. How fun. You don’t take it to heart.

He guides you where you stumble or hesitate at the office. Always happy to lend a helping hand. You learn that he's very high up on the pecking order. The kind of high up that doesn't even clock in. But it doesn't stop him from treating you like an old friend.

You're not back to your usual self, not yet at least. And you have a hunch that he picks up on that. When your gaze falls to the floor he doesn't reprimand you. Nor when you tend to space out. He lets you move at your own pace, it's all unbelievably kind. Especially considering you just got here.

He was the one to do your first day orientation actually.

“If you need anything at all feel free to find me, i'm usually in my office down the hall,” he handed you a little welcome basket filled with goodies. Soft smile while he guided you to your desk.

He’s intimidating at first. Tall, large, handsome. It's easy to feel out of place next to him and his fancy tailored suits. His walk that never falters and voice. You like his accent. You told him as much on the first day, you probably shouldn't have. Too much right? He didn't seem to mind all that much. Sheepishly smiling and mumbling a thank you before going back to setting up your email.

You noticed the way he kept picking at his nails the rest of the time.

In truth he’s anything but intimidating. He's kind to you, gentle. Never once making an advance, a comment, a passing glance. Everything is strictly professional.

—--

Your gaze is starting to flicker to Carlos. Uh oh trouble trouble.

You read up on code and triple checked with HR policies. And since he's not your direct supervisor, there's nothing stopping you from pursuing him. He's technically not in the same department as you (took you a month to figure that out). They just placed him here to help out in the meantime. Everyone's short staffed you guess.

You won't be making any moves, romance is the very last thing you need right now. You haven’t even recovered from the last one. Besides you don’t even know how to love anyone else but Jude. He’s the only one you’ve ever known.

You arrent ready to learn how to love someone else. Will never be ready you fear.

All this and it's hard not to get jittery when Carlos walks by. Just look at the man.

He is so sure of everything it seems. Not afraid to speak up but he's not aggressive either. He's found the perfect balance and you can't help but admire it.

The way he smiles at you makes your heart leap to your throat, even if you know the same smile is mirrored to everyone else in the office. You don't really care.

Smile at me again, you want to say, smile just for me.

You think you have a crush.

Oh you're so screwed.

—--

Carlos has found his way over to your desk at the start of each morning. Briskly walking by, poking his head into your cubicle and asking you how you're doing.

He's sweet. Too sweet. It's making getting over him even worse.

“How are you doing today?” he says, greeting you with a smile.

“Good! Just finished all the work I needed to get caught up on.” you turn your monitor to show him.

He hums, “amazing thank you. You can send everything over at once at the end of the day.”

You nod, making a note of it on your sticky notes, covered in little flower doodles you’ve mad to pass the time between meetings and what not. He tries not to smile too hard at this. He thinks you're a perfect addition.

—--

“Oh come on make a move.” your friend groans over the phone.

You roll your eyes, setting your phone down on your desk and tidying things up in your room. It’s bed time and some peace and quiet is the last thing on her mind it seems.

“i’m not gonna do that.” you grumble, playing with the strings on your pjs.

“why, he’s perfect!”

“Remember the last time I said that about a man?”

Silence.

—-—-

It's late when you finally finish up the paperwork for the day. Closing your 30 some tabs and sighing in relief when you sign out of your desktop, clocking out for the day. Your knees hurt and you think you have a cramp somewhere on your calf. Perfect perfect perfect.

There's not a peep in the office anymore. Everyone save for the janitor has gone home. Well everyone but Carlos, who sits in his office typing away and answering the occasional phone call.

You know he's no stranger to staying late but this is the first time it's only been the two of you. In fact, he stayed behind in order to help you out. What a strange reaction your stomach does. He stayed for you. You you you. Hm.

You had refused at first, but he only waved you off, telling you to send the documents his way and that was that. He's been in there since noon, and you are so grateful. Yes you’re new, yes you learn fast but jeez a little help is always appreciated. It came in the form of a very persistent Carlos, who are you to say no.

You gather your belongings and make your way to Carlos's office. Door just open enough for you to see him squinting at his laptop. Chewing his bottom lip and tapping his foot against the tile of the floor now and again. His suit jacket lays on the back of his chair, white dress shirt sleeves rolled up enough to watch his arms flex while he types. You swallow hard.

"Hey, Carlos," you say, your voice breaking the silence of the empty office.

He looks up, offering you smile but you don’t miss the way it falters at the edges. He’s tired. "Hey, heading out?" he asks, his voice soft in the silence that surrounds you. Gruff around the edges from not speaking as much as he’s used too.

"Yeah, just finished up," you reply, a small smile playing on your lips.

He nods, his attention returning to his computer screen for a moment before he stands up, stretching his arms above his head.

“I appreciate you sticking around to help me out," you finally say, breaking the silence.

Carlos shrugs, his smile turning slightly sheepish. "Hey, no problem. We're a team, right?"

You smile back, an odd feeling blooming in your chest. "Right." You begin to slip away from his door frame but his voice stops you.

"Mind if I walk you out?" he offers, gathering up his things.

“Oh I wouldn't want you to go out of your way.” you wave.

“Nonsense,” he shakes his head, “its pitch black out and its dead empty. It's not safe. What kind of supervisor would I be if I didn't?”

You hold back a frown, right. He's your “supervisor”, not much more. You hesitate, looking outside floor to ceiling windows. Covered in the pitch black expanse of night. It does give you the creeps. You haven’t been in the parking garages this late.

“Okay,” you nod. Just loud enough for him to hear.

He cracks a smile, swinging his suit jacket back on and heading out.

He walks at a much more leasuriy pace while you weave your way out of the cubicle and offices that line the hallways. You find yourself falling into an easy conversation with Carlos. He asks about your transition to London, your thoughts on the city so far, the usual small talk.

“Which garage do you park in?” he asks when you reach the elevator.

You lean against the wall,”the C one, 3rd floor.”

He nods, pressing the buttons and humming under his breath.

It scares you, just how fast Carlos has made his way into your life. Made his presence known. As if he's saying look at me, I'm here to stay. But is he truly?

Maybe you really are going crazy. Who knows anymore.

And as you step out into the cool night air, the rain misting softly against your skin, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you're starting to leave Jude behind. Genuinely this time. Oh if you can just stop thinking of him.

Carlos isn't a bad replacement by any means. Some would even call him an upgrade. He's made London seem not so daunting anymore. Ever more so apart as he walks you right up to your car, wishing you a good night with a small nod and smile.

But a part of you simply just can’t move on.

—---

Carlos sits next to you at a work dinner. Fancy restaurant that's all paid for. Something to celebrate the recent great work. How can you say no to free food?

A few others from your department are here, names you don’t bother to repeat. You know a handful of girls at the table have eyes on Carlos, thanks to the printing room gossip.

Especially a very cat like Jessica who’s cubical is right across from yours. According to Janice from accounting, she’s been trying to get with him for ages, and no matter what she does Carlos always turns her down and attention back to work. You had laughed the first time you were told about the infamous coffee fiasco that apparently everyone and their mother has heard.

Janice had told you while you walked out together to your cars. Giggling the whole time.

“Oh you should have seen it. Jessica walks into his office back first holding a coffee and runs into a share holder who’s walking out at the same time. Boom her white blouse gets absolutely drenched. The best part? Carlos didn’t give a damn.” She snickered.

Jessica now sits across from you, tight black dress on and her signature head of burgundy hair shining in the lights that shine above you.

You had expected at least some drama from her, especially when you were told you were invited by Carlos personally. But no. Nothing. Not even when the meal ends and everyone says they good byes.

You take this as your chance to talk to him more privately, to at least thank him for being so kind to you.

So when the chatting dies down and he pulls out the company card from his wallet, you turn to talk to him more. Everyone is getting up out of their seats at this point. Grabbing purses and shuffling for the door. But you stay behind, leaning what's probably far too close into his personal space, and speaking only when you know none of your coworkers are watching.

You lean in closer to Carlos, he smells good, as always. Tailored suit framing him all too well. Your heart is beating a little faster, faster than you'd like. Much too fast to just thank him for being nice for heavens sake. For a moment you think he can hear it through your dress. It's red, though it would match him well.

The servers flash by you but you register nothing but his gaze, the way it flickers to you as you move. Time slows you think, while you try to swallow around the bile that builds in your throat. Speak.

"Carlos," you begin, your voice soft, "I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me. I really appreciate it."

His lips curve into a gentle smile, his eyes meeting yours with warmth. "It's my pleasure," he gives you a small nod, tucking the company card back into his wallet.

Encouraged by his response, you continue, "I... I've been thinking a lot lately about how lucky I am to have you as a colleague. You make everything seem so much easier and I cant thank you enough for how kind you've been to me. Especially joining half way through the quarter. “

As you speak, you notice a subtle shift in Carlos's demeanor, a flicker of something else in his eyes as nods for you to continue.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is..." you pause, your heart racing, “thank you for taking your time with me.” The words come out too fast and jumbled together but they’re out.

His brows furrow so quickly you almost miss it. But they’re replaced with a smile faster than you can blink. His expression softens further, his gaze holding yours. "That's very sweet of you," his voice barely above a whisper.

You wring your hands in your lap, sweating bullets as you hang on to each world that tumbles from his lips.

"Im very glad I could help, and that you think so highly of me. It’s always my goal to help everyone.” He finishes, getting out of his seat and wishing you a good night.

—--

Something shifts after the dinner.

Maybe it’s Jessica who leaves for a neighboring branch in France. Or things slowing down enough for you to pick up new hobbies and think about getting a cat. You’d like a cat. Something to care for, look after. Love.

Or maybe it's the new way that Carlos looks at you.

He’s been…different to say the least. He spends more time at your cubicle than any other. He sends you coffee every morning. He doesn’t even get on you for scrolling through Pinterest when your work is done, as long as its done he does not care. It’s to the point that dear old Janice has picked up on it and even asked you.

”So Carlos huh.” She laughed one day while you were picking up your files.

“Huh?” Like a deer in headlights.

”Oh come on he might as well camp out at your cubical you two are very obvious.”

You blinked. Once. Twice.

”We aren’t together?”

Janice thought you were lying for a solid week before she actually believed you. So yes things have taken a turn. Not good, not at all. You thought thanking him for his kindness would be it for you. A way to confess without actually confessing.

You don’t want anything to do with romance. Not for the next 30 years. You are so so good.

——

You stop responding to the kind words and you feel horrid. So so horrid. You thanked him and now you don't look him in the eye when he does the same things you praised. You shut yourself into a cage refusing to even acknowledge that he exists. Only talking to him when you have to. And even then you’re curt on a good day.

It becomes too much all too much for you to bear being around him for more than a minute.

You can’t do it, you just can’t. It feels so wrong. Like you’re just like Jude if not worse.

You scroll through his instagram on bad days. Unblocking him just to end up crying when you scroll down to that damn post yet again. Just married. You want to comment kill your self but you don’t want to get your account banned.

You click on his story by accident, he's on some island. You hope the plane crashes.

You probably need therapy.

And Carlos, sweet sweet Carlos, never takes your sour mood to heart. You wish he would give up. For your sake. For his sake.

“His” sake. It’s not Carlos.

——-

You aren't even dating. Not seeing each other, not involved. And he never stops trying. Never once is unkind to you.

You know if you’d outright tell him to stop he would in a heart beat. But you don’t, letting him continue the dance alone. People in the office have noticed and started taking a dislike to you. If only they knew the half of it.

You say yes to going out after pictures of Jude and his wife on vacation break out.

“I wont force you if you don’t actually want to.” Carlos sheepishly scratches the back of his neck.

You give him a timid mile, “I want to, trust me.”

Even if the want is only wanting to move on.

“Committed to our marriage.”

You still don't truly hate him.

——

He doesn't know of your history with the man. You don't want him too. Especially considering Carlos is prpbbaly the biggest Real Madrid fan to ever exist. Madrid is his home town for fucks sake. It’s like a big joke is being played on you. You don’t find it funny.

A part of you is just using him as a placeholder. Holding out hope. Hope for what you're not all too sure about.

For a man who abandoned you to come back and make it all better?

Your new lover you feel pity for. You're a lost cause. A stick in the mud. You shy away from the most basic of things. Holding hands, hugs, an arm around your shoulder.

He still doesn't give up on you. You wish he would.

Carlos doesn’t care that you can’t stomach kissing him just yet. He’s happy to wait, to take it step by step.

“I just, I can't Carlos. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Well take it at your speed. I promise.” A smile.

Carlos is kind to you, even when you're not the same back.

He goes back to his department come winter, and you see much less of him at work. It makes you miss him oddly. No random pop ins and your favorite drink in his hand.

No asking how your days been at lunch. No running into each other when you’re both in the printing room. Giving eachother shy smiles.

Hm.

——

You learn Carlos is a big gift giver. He spoils you. He only wants you to have and experience the best. Always on his arm showing you off. There’s no hiding with him, no forced to duck out of the way in case of cameras. He always pays when you go out, and always a little bag in his car waiting for you.

”Carlos getting me jewelry every time you see me is too much.” You frown. Sliding into the passenger of his rather adorable Volkswagen Golf.

“You don’t like jewelry?” He frowns, sliding his seat belt on.

“No I love it I just feel bad you spend too much on me.” You sigh.

”Please take it from me, it really is nothing. I want to give you even more.” A chuckle fall from his lips.

You learn in the same week that his family owns the damn company. “Why the hell didn't you tell me?’

he shrugs, “it's what I liked so much about you. You didn’t know and it didn’t affect how you saw me, treated me.”

”I feel so stupid Carlos.” You mope.

—-

Life is easy with Carlos. He’s grown on you and you open up. Piece by piece and taking your time. He leaves no room for doubt. Always there to guide you with a hand on your back, pinkies intertwined.

His successes are yours, and yours are his. You cry together. You celebrate together.

At events he brings you on stage with him to bring good news about the company. Toasting with you by his side. The days with him are good to you. And they turn to months.

You meet his family when things get serious. And you try not to let the past influence you too much.

What if they hate you? What if it's a repeat of everything you tried so hard to leave behind? What if his mother refuses to see your face?

He only reassures you with soft kisses and warm smiles. “They’re going to love you. Just be you. “

Just be you.

——-

You take a trip to the countryside of Spain for the weekend. At the cusp of spring, to meet his family. You fly first class, your first time, and knock out for half the time. He holds your hand the entire time, rubbing his thumb along your skin while he tells you more about his childhood. You even learn a few phrases in Spanish, you hope your accent isn’t too awful.

When you get to the winding driveway that gives way to the most picturesque white house on a hill you try not to gasp. It’s gorgeous.

His mother immediately welcomes you with a crushing hug when you step out of the Uber, boasting about how gorgeous you are.

You meet his two sisters, Blanca the oldest, and Anna the youngest.

They greet you with wide smiles, excited to have you. Leading you to the patio of the villa to chat. Carlos insists on taking your bags while you bond with his family. You give him a look while hes half way through the door with both bags in hand.

“Go go i'm sure they want to gossip!” He shouts from the base of the stairs.

You sigh, shaking your head at him with a smile while his sisters take you to the living room.

“We've been dying to meet you!” Anna giggles.

“Carlos never stops talking about you, you know. That already speaks volumes he's a private guy.” Blanca adds.

You give a nod, ”I'm happy to be here. He talks about you guys all the time too, good to put faces to the names.”

“Come we’ll show you around.” Anna gets up.

And you follow. Meeting the dogs and watching Carlos kick around an old golf cart till he gives up and heads back inside.

You meet his father who gives you a tight hug.

“You like golf?” He has a club in hand.

“I never actually played.”

“Carlos you haven't taught her?!” He gives his son a scowl, “Come, I'll teach you.”

So you do. Spending hours in the Spanish sun trying to learn technique.

“She might be better than you Carlos!” his dad laughs when you get the ball right into the hole.

He sits on one of the patio chairs, drink in hand, arms splayed on either side.

“Maybe she'll beat your record.” He hums. Eyes crinkling while he watches you chase down balls that you hit too far.

The afternoon winds down and you find a seat next to him.

“Have fun mi amor?” Pressing a kiss to your hand.

“Golf is actually kinda hard.” You huff.

He laughs,”not too bad though right?”

You shake your head, “no it was fun!”

“That's good. We're going to start the grill up in a few. What are you feeling burgers or kebab?’

You hum, taping your index finger on your chin, “anything you want is fine by me.”

He gets up, giving your head a pat, “kebab it is,” heading over to where the large grill sits against the stone wall.

You head inside to find his mom getting plates out.

“Anything I can help with?”

“Oh no honey you're our guest, go relax.” she waves.

“No please, it's really nothing.”

“Nonsense!”

“I insist you all have been too kind.” you try.

She places a hand on her hip, ”fine fine. You can help me get the table set.”

And you do just that.

You stick around in the kitchen helping Carlos make the actual kebabs. Grinding the meat while you hand it off to him to mix in the spices and assorted greens to the mix.

Next he shapes them using his thumb and first two fingers, squeqwering the meat into each wooden stick and setting them in the fridge in batches.

When the grill is up to temperature, in they go with vegetables and steaks.

You eat surrounded by laughter and warm smiles. Your belly is warm and full, and it's not just the amazing food.

His family shower you in so much love it feels like you’ve known them for ages. Soft smiles and preening at your compliments. His mother says yoy fit right in and his sister are happy to have another girl.

By the end of the night his dad is calling you his daughter.

—--

Jude has a rare few days off. Nothing on his plate, nothing to do. It comes unexpectedly. The fault of bad plannning, mismanagement, something like that. He didn’t listen past when they told him days off. Music to his ears.

Kaylie has been kinder to him, and hes been able to stomach being around her more and more. If not for her for his child.

They might be married but he holds no love for her. Nothing at all. How can he? But that doesn’t mean he cant at least try to put an effort to make things work. The very last thing he wants is for his baby to be stuck between homes or worse yet ages away from him. Not knowing who he really is and fed lies by Kaylie. He knows how she is.

Cunning, sly. Add fur and she’d be a fox.

He picks and chooses his battles and today he chooses peace. Getting some flowers and her favorite take out place on the way home.

He comes home to his house dark and void of any signs of her. The curtains are drawn, the tv off, so is the ac. Hm. No ones home.

He gives Kaylie a call, but it goes to voicemail. She does this often, ignoring him and doing what she wants. He doesn’t really care. She’s most likely out shopping again.

He sighs, setting the bags down on the counter and heading to his-their- room.

At the foot of the bed there’s a grey satchel looking thing. He doesn’t remember seeing that. And he’s not one to snoop but its in his bed, left out among a few clothes. Maybe its the maids and she forgot? Hm.

When he picks it up there’s some weight to it, the draw string come undone as he moves it close and out tumbles a silicone sheet.

Brows furrowed he picks it off the ground, turning it in his hands. It’s realistic, like it was made to mimic human skin. Bumps and ridges along one side while the underside is smooth. It tapers off on either side to make two Velcro ends. There’s a belly button in the middle.

When he realizes what it is, Jude wants to throw up.

The past year flashes in his mind till hes reeling. He cant see, tumbling back into his bed as he clutches the sheets.

The fake silicon baby bump tumbles out of his grasp and onto the floor, flopping like its laughing at him. Mocking him for being so god damn stupid.

The rage he’d tried to hard to ignore, to wipe out from his body rises up like a summer heat. Trapping him in his own body till hes blinded. He throws whatever he can see. Trashing the room. He can barely breathe.

In his own home hes been made an idiot. Under his own roof that he pays for he worked he that he built from the ground up hes been manipulated. His movements slow till he feels like a single cloud after a storm. Aimlessles floating looking for pourpse.

Jude leaves the house in an instant, taking pictures and tucking the item into his back seat. He’s going to his lawyer. Now. He needs a divorce.

——-

Kaylie dismisses every accusation. Calls him a lair, every name under the sun.

He has cameras in his home, a detail she never knew of. He got them installed before he even moved in. They work in his favor as his lawyer brings up the footage. His mother is seen brining bags inside and setting them down onto the table. And out comes a box, and out of the box, the satchel.

His mother bought it for her.

She admits to it when called up. Shrugging like it’s the most natural thing she’s done. A choice as easy as breathing. To fate her son to such misery. To betray.

The divorce happens. Even after it takes weeks. He leaves her.

Why don't you pick up?

——-

Carlos proposes in the same time frame that Jude divorces. While you celebrate with his family you see the news. It’s everywhere, plastered on every site and app and news outlet. Jude Bellingham divorced. A younger part of you feels excistatic. And the current you tastes something sour in your mouth while you read the headlines.

A part of you took Carlos as a placeholder. But you gave up, no more waiting. And now that the wait is over and you are to married? There is nothing left to say, want, need.

It’s so wrong. All so wrong. You have a fiancé.

He’s more than sweet enough. And yet, in every moment spend with him, there’s a humming on the back of more mind filled with fields and stadiums.

You wonder if he thinks the same. If he keeps up with you in any way. You wonder if your engagement has made him feel anything. You hope it has.

A part of you hopes his divorce came as a result of your own news. But who knows.

—--

When you find yourself in Madrid you’re greeted by a family that has become your own. They call you the jewel of the family. Proudly showing you off. It’s hard to think of anything else.

His mother takes you to get your nails done with her while you catch up.

“How is Carlos treating you?”

“Oh he’s lovely. You raised him extraordinarily.” You smile.

She preens, promising to take you on the coast when the weather is warmer. Go out for a swim even. Anything you’d like.

You get matching colors and walk out arms linked and smiling.

——

You learn that Carlos, before you, had given up on love. It was a thing he dreamed of. A thing unable to attain. Something akin to the stars. There to see, not to touch. Never to have or to know fully.

He had whispered it to you in the darkness of his room after a homemade dinner. The best pasta you’ve ever had. The compliments made him blush and get all jittery. It’s adorable.

“I just never thought I would be able to have this.” He breathed out.

You gave him a firm kiss, cupping your hands to his cheeks. “I’m the one who should be saying that. You’re amazing Carlos. You amaze me everyday. I’m so lucky to have you. To love you.”

A beat of silence. Sniffles. “I adore you.” He mumbles out while he tucks his head into the crook of your neck. Gentle hands combing through his hair.

That hes had his fair share of flings and unserious girls around him. Only about two he’s actually brought around his family. On whim and a half baked thought turned to full trip. And those ended in a dumpster fire apparently.

“It was so out of no where he never talked about her and then he calls saying hes brining this girl over.” Anna waves her fork in hand.

Today they’ve come to visit London and you’re out for dinner just the three of you. Carlos is working late and he insisted you go meet them at the resurant.

“Send me pics!’ Was his only request while you gave him a kiss at the door.

“Oh she asked for a promotion almost 20 minutes in.” Blanca rolls her eyes.

Anna nods, “i don’t remember her name but I remember her horrid sneer. Like she was part shark or something. Creepy. I think Carlos was just trying to prove that he could love since both of us are already married.”

Prove that he could love.

But he loves so easy it’s hard to wrap you mind around. Someone so lovely and sweet having trouble. Your heart aches for him. Both of you have had shit luck previously huh.

——

The middle of summer you get introduced to the annual family reunion dinner of sorts.

“It’s nothing crazy dont worry. Just grilling and more Sainz at the house.” He assures you.

So you pack up again and head to Spain. He always gives you the window seat. Puts all the carryons into the over head bins for the both of you.

It’s nice, being able to turn your brain off for once.

The dinner is a whole affair you come to learn. You’re in the kitchen prepping with everyone while both Carlos senior and junior get to setting up more tables on the patio.

The theme is white this year. You brought two white dresses just in case.

The chaos soon dissolves into a steady rhythm as the prep comes to a close and you wait for guests to start arriving. You get changed in one of the spare rooms they’ve given you each time you come. Stepping down the stairs to a crowd.

His family is very very big. Huge even. All pouring in the property in fancy cars and watches on their wrists that cost more than your yearly rent. Yikes.

You shrink on yourself, sticking to the kitchen and absentmindedly rearranging plates and taking a seat at the dinning tables as you watch the greetings from the windows.

His mother spots you. In a gorgeous sleek jumpsuit and white shawl to match.

“Oh you look lovely.” She beams.

When you don’t return the ethusiam she frowns. “What’s wrong my dear?”

You look away bashfully. “Nothing at all.” Forcing a smile.

She takes a seat next to you, taking your hands in hers. “Nonsense. You can talk to me. I promise you’re a daughter to me.”

You sigh, turning to face her. “You’re whole family is so lovely. So grand. I feel like I'm not enough or I don't belong sometimes.” You admit, wringing your hands in your lap.

Her brows furrow, “you’re a part of the family my love. My Carlos loves you, so do the rest of us. That alone means you belong. Not to mention what a gem you are. You’re an exceptional woman with both your character and achievements. Don’t sell yourself short.” A hand squeezes your shoulder and you look at her with so much appreciation you might cry.

“Thank you so much Ms Sainz, really. You’ve welcomed me so sweetly. I'm so honored. “

She rises out of her seat, taking your hand in hers as she guides you to the door. “Come now, we’ll walk out together. Don’t worry i wont leave you till you say so. “

You give her another great full smile, taking a fabric of your dress in one hand and head out to greet the rest of your family.

——-

You sit nestled next to Carlos and his mother. At the end of the table while the maids handle plating and serving the food. You’re emmesnly greatful there is no grilling to be done on your end in the white dress that trails on the floor.

Carlos gives you a smile among the chatter that surrounds the two of you. His mother rises, and in an instant all eyes are on her. You hope one day you can command half as much attention as she does.

She says most of her words in Spanish, a few you catch onto (Carlos has been teaching you here and there. Giggling at your accent but you’re getting there!)

She raises her glass and the last part comes out in English. “We thank everyone for coming. You all are welcome here, as our guests and as a part of the family.” Sending you a smile at the last bit. You can't help giving her a wide smile in return. Reaching your eyes and so big it hurts your cheeks but you don't care. You’re so happy to be here.

Carlos gives your hand a squeeze under the table, eyes crinkling into. Familar smile.

Something clicks for a moment.

You let nostalgia and familiarity cloud your judgment and hold on to a man with no real sense of direction in his life. Pushing away Carlos. Sweet sweet Carlos who only wanted to love.

——-

You mention your apartment being stuffy and within the week there are an unfamiliar set of keys sitting on your living room coffee table. A red string tied into a bow on them is the only thing that accompanies them.

You know exactly who it’s from.

You call him and he picks up immediately. “Hey baby.” There’s a curl to his voice. He’s smiling.

“Carlos. What’s with the keys?

He hums, “they’re for you.”

“What?”

”You know if you ever get tired of your place. You have a house now. If you want it under your name let me know I’ll send the papers over.” Said with the most casual tone in the world. Like he dropped off flowers instead of keys to a house.

“I’m not following.” Thumbing the keys in your hand.

“I bought you a house. If you dont like it- “

”I love you.” You blurt.

He giggles on the other end. “I love you too.”

He helps you get moved in on the weekend while you hold back tears the whole time.

——-

You go out to dinner for your birthday. Fancy restaurant on a rooftop. He brings a camera and takes so many pictures you worry he’ll have no more storage after this.

Both of you are matching red. You in a floor length dress and him in a suit with red detailing at the seams. Just enough to catch the light. Just enough to make it obvious that you two are a pair. It’s cute.

You eat in comfortable silence while the sun sets. Many kisses shared.

“How does dessert sound?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Sounds lovely. Where are you thinking?”

”Little ice scream shop down the road? The one with all the toppings you like.”

You smile, “yes please.”

You figure there’s no need to get to the valet so instead you get on electric scooters, laughing while you ride down the side walks through the night.

You know you probably look immensely silly. In fancy dress zooming past pedestrians while you can't stop laughing but you don't really care. You’re happy. You’re so happy.

——

You marry Carlos in his family home under the Spanish sun no more than 2 years later. Your family is ecstatic, his mother can't stop crying from joy.

“You’re the greatest thing to happen to my Carlos.” She weeps while bringing a hand to your cheek.

It makes you cry till the makeup artist has to come in and make everything right again.

You walk down the isle and it feels like a dream. Carlos cries while watching you walk to him. His lip wobbles during the vows and you barely hold it together long enough to kiss him.

You’ve grown to not just love him. You adore him.

The years Carlos has given you have been filled with only bliss. His family frequent your home for dinner when they’re in London. And you even got the cat after all. Carlos has warmed up to her. A little black fur you named Luna. Very original but you love her.

She’s at the wedding. In a tiny white collar with a white boy sitting in his mothers lap purring.

The family dogs are in similar spots. The wedding is in the back portion of the property, he built more of the porch walkway to make room for guests and seats.

Your first dance is so soft and sweet you feel like you’re in a dream. Or when cotton candy touch’s water, melting into glittery threads of sugar.

The night it filled with so much love. You forget about all your troubles. It was worth it you think. Worth it to end up here.

——-

Carlos is a baker. He bakes you blueberry muffins to take in to work every morning and always has hot pancakes or breakfast. A good pancake never needs syrup, he says. And his never do.

He tries new berries and flavors with each season and gives you a kiss when he drops you off at your cubicle.

Janice was right after all huh.

——-

When you’re in Spain or his family in London you go touring the sights with his sisters when you can. Going cafe hunting and bringing home treats for a very giddy and hands Carlos at the end of the day.

“What’d you get up to today?” He mumbles in between kisses.

“Your sisters brought out baby photos.” You giggle. “You were a cute baby!”

He snorts, “I was well behaved.”

You give him a look, handing him a small box filled with pastries, “not according to Blanca you weren’t.”

He shrugs, icing already on his nose that you happily kiss off.

——-

On your next birthday you take a quiet night in and a homemade dinner full of all your favorites at his home. He wears a stupid kiss the chef apron and makes him pose for pictures. You send them to his sisters (you have a groupchat of the three of you)!

You watch him work his magic, cooking in fluid motions and when its time to eat you almost melt.

“I think this is your best ever,” you mumble in between spoonfulls.

He giggles, kissing the apples of your cheek taking a seat opposite from you. “I’m glad love. Happy birthday.”

There’s a small box on the table that you haven’t noticed yet. Too small and rectangular for a ring. It's only when you clean up do you notice.

“What’s this?” Gently picking up the box in your hands.

He stands at the sink washing the dishes in a way to avoid your gaze. He’s shy. ”My gift to you.”

You open the box and out tumbles another pair of keys. “You and keys.” You grumble, but with no real venom.

“Carlos are these car keys.” You hiss.

He hums a tune under his breath in favor of answering you.

“Oh my god.” You whisper, feeling the ridges and creases. You recognize the logo. You’ve mentioned it on a whim here and there. Or that one time you saw it parked at a restaurant and you took a picture.

Leave it to Carlos to never miss anything. He’s giving you a damn Porsche for your birthday.

You set the key down on the coffee table. You help finish up the dishes kicking him out while he pouts about it being your birthday and he should be doing this for you not the other way around. A kiss and a promise gets him out and to the living room.

When you’re all done he leads you to his garage. Where a Porsche in your favorite color stands. Gift wrapped with a red bow and your name on the fender.

How did you end up living a life like this?

———

Jude finds you after years of digging. It takes just ages and he blows through so much money but he finds you, in London living in a house bigger than his own in Madrid and cozying up to a man he's never seen before.

He’s long cut off contact with his mother and the rest of his family. His brother he sees from time to time. His dad only briefly. Still no apology from him. He’s rather die than see his mother again and she knows that. She stopped sending Christmas cards ages ago.

He has business to finish. One that’s ages old and begins before he could understand the world around him. Begins with you, and it seems to always end with you. Call it fate or some cruel joke being played on him. Jude never got over you. Never has never will. You’re all the love hes ever known. Learning you got married almost sent him down an alcoholic rampage. But he had a ballon dore to set his eyes on (and he won, did you see?)

His source of information (a mutual friend) lets him know the man is named Carlos, comes from old money. The type that has houses on every content and still doesn't know what to do with it all. Too much to spend and not enough time to do it all.

That's fine whatever, he can do one better.

He shows up at your doorstep at the cusp of spring. There’s something poetic there, spring bringing new beginnings and all. Maybe there is a beginning to be made from the buried buds of yesterday's winter. He tells himself to not get his hopes up to high but the mere thought of seeing you again makes his skin tingle.

So up he goes. Don’t ask how he got passed the gate, a secret he will never tell. Chill still in the air and wrapped in a coat and scarf up to his nose. He tries not to gag at the matching porches that are parked outside.

He silently prays that it's you who will open the door.

Jude is nearing 30 now and he fears he may not have much more time left to chase you across the country.

A few rings of the doorbell is all the warning you get until you come face to face with the man who you've been so desperately trying to escape for years.

“Jude.” He melts at the sound of your name from his lips. Just as sweet as he dreams. The years have been kind to you. You look just as remembered. Just as full of life, of wonder. Just a tad bit wiser perhaps.

He nods, stepping forward. You back up, closing the door half way and hiding behind it.

“I'm sorry,” he begins, fists clenching at his side, “I'm sorry for every single second I left you alone. I was a coward. I was- fuck I was stupid and it cost me you. I rehearsed this a million times and I can't even find the words to say to you.“

“Jude. I'm married. There is no sorry. What's done is done.”

His face pales, “No please you can't just-”

“Can't just what, leave? Like you did? How did you think it felt when I heard of your wedding through instagram Jude please let me know. Because it wasn't jumping for joy. Or when you would ignore me for days till it became months.”

“I was young and stupid I didn’t mean-”

“No!” you shout, hands gripping the door knob. “You don't get to barge into my life whenever you feel like it. I'm married. I love him and he actually gives a damn about me, go figure. “

“You have to hear me out.” he pleads.

“No I fucking dont Jude!” you cry.

Footsteps pad up behind you, door opening further to reveal Carlos who puts a protective hand on your waist.

“Why are you making my wife upset? Can I help you mate?” His eyes do a once over Jude, unimpressed. Madrid super fan or not you come first.

“Mate?” Jude scofs. Seriously this is the guy you replace me with, what a joke.”

Carlos presses his lips into a thin line,”get off of my property.”

“Yeah right or is it all your dads. Damn trust fund baby. I hope you enjoy the money. Fucking nepo baby.” Jude points a finger at him.

You sigh, “Jude you need to leave, now, or i'll call the police and you get to escorted off the property by them and the whole world gets to watch your image crumble. “

He walks off of the front steps at this, head hung low and taking one last look at the two of you. Sneering at Carlos before he stops away.

Carlos looks at you, frowning. You have a lot of explaining to do don't you.

—--

“Jude, Jude Bellingham at my door. What was that about my love?” He gets a glass of water, taking a sip.

You sigh, sitting back on the couch.

“Carlos… where do I even begin.” Rubbing your eyes aggressively.

“Wherever you want,” he shrugs, leaning on the kitchen counter.

“Jude and I were once neighbors, friends, lovers. Everything. I loved him so much that I didn't even care that he would ignore me for months till once day poof! He announces he got married on instagram of all places while I was a wreck so I moved out of our hometown. Came here. Meet you. Rest is history.”

”Why is he back?”

you shrug. “Hell if I know. Last I knew he got divorced won the ballon dor. I haven’t talked to him since he left me.”

Carlos nods, setting the cup down and joining you on the couch. “If you want a restraining order we can do that?”

You shake your head, “I dont want to make it bigger than it needs to be. If he keeps trying we can talk about it.”

”Okay.” Pressing his lips to your forehead. “Mom wanted to get brunch with you but you can cancel after all that.”

You sit up. “No no! I’d never miss brunch with her i’ll start getting ready.”

Carlos smile at you, padding back upstairs to your bed room to get ready for work.

——-

The next family vacation is in Italy. Partly due to the champions league and partly because its his mothers turn to choose. You happily agree tagging along and seeing the family jet for the first time. (They have a jet???) you still have some getting used to do with the way they live their life.

It’s a welcome distraction to the shit show that was at your door.

You do some sightseeing and have brunch all together accompanied by his sisters husbands as well. Both kind men who would do anything for both sisters. It’s sweet, to have a family full of so much love.

You split up after brunch and Carlos wants to do some sightseeing and you of course go.

You end up walking round Milan for hours till you get hungry and spot a little hole in the wall, street food stand that Carlos can not wait to try.

You get in line and brush your fingers against the buckles of Carlos jeans while you wait. He pouts saying something about how it should be the other way around followed by more quips that make you laugh loud and bright.

There’s a figure that you dont see, standing on the opposite side of the town square that recognizes your laugh from a mile away.

Jude is here, of course he is. But its not to sight see. To compete. He left his hotel with a mask do get some fresh air before all his physicals and here the universe has brought you to him once again.

You dont see him, of course you dont. His gut twists while he watches you laugh in ways he never did him him. He feels like a creep, watching you and your husband laugh into each other with matching smiles. Like hes doing something he shouldn’t, watching something he shouldn’t. But he cant bring himself to look away.

Not when you place your order or when Carlos feeds you some of his portion. Nor while you giggle when some gets on your nose and he wipes it off for you.

He waits for some sort of reaction to the public. Braces for judgment but nothing comes. It’s here that he’s reminded how different his life and yours is.

Everything you couldn’t do with him you now freely do in the streets with your husband. The word makes him sick. Husband. It should be him there not that corporate sell out.

Jude tears his eyes away when he gets a text from a teammate. 20 mins till he has to check in. He should leave. He’s seen enough.

——-

Rumors behind to float around Carlos. Wicked and dangerous. They come out of no where and they span from everything and anything under the sun.

You no longer get work at the same firm. You both agreed that Carlos was more than okay to support the two of you. And you liked the idea of being a stay at home wife, mom, etc.

But the rumor begin to draw you into the mix. That you married him for money. That you not got the job because you were fucking him.

That Carlos only got his position due to his father and so forth.

His reputation is on the rocks and a careful set of eyes from afar watches how you repond.

Leave him, come back to me. He wants to say

You dont do any of this. If anything you become more attached to your husband. Unwavering and refusing to leave for a moment.

——

Jude finds you once more in a coffee shop. Setting down a cup next to you while he hovers over your seat. It’s the same drink his mother used to force you to order near the end. You don’t acknowledge it even if it’s the only one he knows you to drink.

It’s the cusp of full now. Months after his first intrusion. You watch as eyes crowd him till there’s a circle of people around you with phones out. You feel sick for more reasons than one.

“Jude.” You warn.

He sits down. Ignoring the eyes. He’s desperate now. And frankly he doesn’t care about the backlash at this point. He only cares about one thing. You.

”im sorry i just cant watch you live you life with him and ignore what we had.”

“Jude-“

”Just please listen to me that’s all I ask of you.”

“You have nothing i want to hear.” Crossing your arms.

He starts to cause a scene. Voice rising and drawing even more attention if that’s even possible.

You agree, 3 minutes. That’s all he has.

He breathes a sigh of relief. He starts off by saying “hazelnut coffee right? your favorite”

It’s not your favorite, it was the only drink his mom ordered for you because it was supposed to keep you from bloatingit’s not your favorite, it was the only drink his mom ordered for you because it was supposed to keep you from bloating.

You stare at his face reminding yourself that he really doesn’t know you at all. When you don’t answer he picks at his hands. Finding the right words

“She’s gone and everything is right now. we can be together again just like we promised it’ll be us agaisnt the world. just me and you. I always loved you.”

“you’re late jude. I’m married. I can’t leave my life behind for you.” Crossing your arms over yourself.

“Why not?”

Your eye twitches. “When you had the opportunity to actually give a damn you didn’t. You didn’t fight. Hell you didn’t even speak and left me in the dust for some no name you stuck your shit in one night and got off too. And now what i’m supposed to go running back?”

“So what now? you want to be with him? He isn’t even someone worthy of you.”

“And you are Jude??”

“he left you here at a cafe alone easy to find.”

Your patience is wearing thin.

“I know we have history. And I know our childhood together was sweet. But the past can not keep you tethered and making decisions based on it. You can’t keep chasing things that no longer exist Jude. I’m no longer yours and I haven’t been for a while now. “

“What do you mean it doesn’t exist” he desperately tries to grab your hand.

But Carlos walks in. Putting a hand on your shoulder and staring Jude down. Almost as if saying go ahead, try it again. “I’d appreciate it if you backed up and away from my wife mate. I wont ask you again.”

he helps you get up, putting your hand over his. When you stand does Jude notice a baby bump.

It’s this moment that Jude realizes that hes lost you, completely and wholly. There is no redos. His own cowardice lead to this. And now he watches the woman he loves walk hand in hand with another.

———

CHOSE YOUR ENDING

JUDE. CARLOS.

[inchidentally]

“Of course, we want to go out and beat each other every weekend, but we're never going to cross that line that's going to cause damage that can't be repaired."

this line messes with my brain chemistry so hard, cause they've both talked about wanting to become world champions with mclaren and they know things are going to get heated at some point, but it's the resolute they have in wanting to maintain the relationship they currently have that makes them so special to me

they've been asked by the media if they see a nico and lewis type situation forming and they've just said we'll have to see, but i like to believe internally they've both talked and come to the same conclusion- we're not gonna end up like the others, we're not gonna end up at point where we stop talking to each other or can't even say the other's name

it's all so aksdhkjhkjg

honestly it's so telling the way they've just started joking that they're gonna recreate 2007 etc that they're both so tired of the Lewis/Nico comparisons

as someone who l o v e s the drama of br0cedes and and even loved getting the lore posts about Esteban and Pierre it is wiiiiild how landoscar keep getting classed with these legacy unique angst ships. now ! carland0 would've been the closest recent example that would've end up like them bc the recipe for those big dramatic fall outs is that the two drivers form a big friendship and bond that involves a childhood bond. Carlos literally raised Lando the rest of the way and would call him a moody teenager and 'you need to mature' and roughhouse with him like a little kid etc. those are the relationships where they just don't bother thinking about what competing might do and convince themselves they'll be fine. and bam then the first battle happens and all that innocent trusting friendship collides with real life racing for wins and championships and it flips over into hurt feelings, angry words and not even attempts like the fix-it golf dates of 2022 working.

and Lando's battles with Max last season got close to that level of we've been friends and rivals since childhood and now we're clawing past eo for wins - but they weren't teammates so they could still get past even the bitterest on track moments and remain friends. and Carlos said that he and Lando are better off not teammates bc their on track rivalry can be easier and less complicated.

but Lando and Oscar didn't push or force any kind of bond or friendship at all and focused their early relationship entirely on this new open-door policy between the garages (except for during races ofc) and discovered they want the same things from the car and have always had their separate little debriefs even back when they spent minimal time together - and since end of 2023 they've talked about battling each other for championships and not wanting to ruin their relationship and not wanting to let the team down by prioritizing the WDC over the team's hard work.

so that's why I say yea we're fully gonna see contact, probably crashes (hopefully not too many and not too bad) and periods where they don't talk etc. but unlike teammates who are in denial or who just assume they'll be fine, none of this is going to take them by surprise. they're never just assuming they'll be okay, they're actively talking about how to deal with it when they have to make those split second decisions and it makes the difference between one getting the championship over the other. and even if they weren't, they've got the whole of fandom and the media telling them this fallout WILL happen and asking them to answer for fights that haven't even happened yet aslfgasjfgsal

and I totally agree anon, it's one of the things I think that makes them so compelling is the open honestly they have about all of this. that we've been able to watch them slowly become closer while they've also been openly navigating how them being "the strongest" !! teammate pairing and hoping to be one of the longest lived pairings is what's propelled themselves and McLaren back to the front after decades languishing BUT also brings with it the most crucial and fiercest battles being between each other.

we got no PR dates or content to smooth over Hungary or Monza. nobody made them fake anything for the sake of fans and McLaren isn't even as invested in landoscar as a pairing as they are still with carland0 salfgslajfgljsa. and ignoring the usual staged content on DTS, we got the authenticity of Lando's reaction to Hungary as well as Oscar not putting a PR front when asked if he'd be okay with being number 2. but none of it was over the top or melodramatic. they never swing wildly from fan-forward friendship to unhinged angry media pen quotes.

they never feel like they're playing catch up at all and there's this level of maturity and mutual agreement and discussion that is getting completely missed by media and most of fandom simply bc everyone can't wait for the drama to finally pay off big.

but fr the thing that makes them unique is how long and how mutually they've been preparing for this and how honest they're allowing themselves to be with each other and with the media/fans. it's one thing for teammates to talk up not wanting to fall out which is the usual line that's taken. but I love that Lando and Oscar are admitting that all they can do is hope to do right by the team and stay on the same page as much as possible. it's not about pretending that everything will all work itself out just fine, it's them wanting to to establish how they'll react to things get truly difficult.

[vicsbasement]

From what we’ve seen so far it almost looks like Carlos has been trying to make it easier for Charles? Take the chili plushie clip, Carlos is clearly teary eyed but he still tries to make Charles laugh. He is the one who’s hurting but he puts his own hurt aside because he notices that Charles is sad too and he has to make him laugh, because if there’s something else I’ve noticed in the past years is that Carlos loves seeing Charles happy

Anon! Firstly, are you the same anon from the other day? Let me kiss your brain, because I love talking about these boys so so so much and for some reason people really enjoyed the conversation we had. Anyway!!!! Let's talk about this for a second. Carlos is definitely having a hard time. If we're going blindly on the timeline, we have to assume Carlos knows about his exit from Ferrari ever since before the Dakar finale, (this is just especulation, though, because we don't know for certain) and he sort of, kind of, blew off Ferrari and the Maranello trials to go celebrate with his dad. Pretty sure he wouldn't have done this if he didn't have enough leverage on Ferrari because the trials at Maranello are SUPER important, but first, his dad just won Dakar at his age, and then he's like: well, I mean, I'm getting kicked out of the team anyway and I won't be active during the development of the next car, so, whatever, let's just do this,-- and he went and did it. That's my idea. He needed to be with his father because they all knew. I'm pretty sure they even knew during the training camp at Madrid / Portugal because he's surrounded by friends and already doing the absolute most to get in an amazing shape because he needs to be his best version this year. But-- then when he meets up with Charles again, Charles even feels blindsided. Because like I said previously, Lewis is Lewis. And he comes with sponsors and 7 world titles and his experience and all of a sudden Charles isn't really Ferrari's most important figure inside the team. So they're both trying to soothe each other. Because for the first time ever, Charles doesn't feel like the golden boy, he probably even feels like Ferrari did him dirty (that's what I would've thought, anyway) because who pays two or three times your salary to your second driver? Not any team, that's for certain. Carlos was stability for Charles and it's like his world was thrown off its axis. They were equals, similar in status, genuinely a good team. Charles feels bad and Carlos sees it, because he's lost his teammate, they were supposed to beat Ferrari's record of the teammates that lasted longer and now, well.

And Carlos knows this, and sees Charles handling it just as bad as himself and goes: well. If I don't have to think about this, and make him laugh, then neither of us need to focus on this, right? And the first challenge rolls around and he's tired but Charles is doing his best so why not sing until Charles' annoyed so he doesn't have to see how bone-tired Carlos is? He's sort of protecting Charles' heart by protecting his own. And then there's the little chili and I can simply see Carlos' thought process: this is the last first race of the year with Ferrari, and someone gifted him a chili. And he's chili and he's smooth operator and he's supposed to be fine, but his throat closes up and his eyes fill with tears and he doesn't want Charles to see him like this but it's so much. So he tries to laugh it off. And when he sees that Charles is also thinking the same thing he says, well. At least we're in this together. So he makes Charles laugh by saying he was a chili, too. We don't know what he means, but Charles is so fond and so filled with nostalgia that he laughs, anyway, even though his throat is dry and his eyes are filled with tears. And he gets to keep the chili plushie after Carlos reminded him they're supposed to part ways.

Remember Monza 2022? When Carlos completely ignored the woman who was guiding him to the back of the track so he could follow protocol? And he broke protocol to ask Charles if he was okay? Yeah, that's Carlos, to me. And I no longer feel like he's the only one capable of doing that for Charles, I really have seen Charles fight british and italian press and tell them to respect Carlos' last year in Ferrari, and I see Charles perfectly capable to soothe Carlos as much as Carlos has tried to soothe him. Because he's mourning in front of all of us, basically. And Carlos did go to Jeddah not only to help Ollie, but for Charles' sake, too. Did you see the smile Charles had on his face when they asked him about Carlos and he said that he'd called Senior and he'd told him that it was all okay and that he might've been going to the track later that day? He's doing that in front of all of us, showing us how much Carlos means to him. This is the best and worst time for Charlos fans right now and we have to deal with these two behaving like that for the rest of the year. I don't know how we're going to cope. Again, thank you for sending me these, because I just love to type until I don't make any sense.

[seasidefae]

carcar hunger games is trulz giving Katniss and Peeta and Prim. like Carlos get reaped and then they reap one of Oscars sisters and he volunteers? or the other way around? and everyones wondering if thats allowed but its a good story so they send them and they try to keep their distance and hate each other cuz that would make it easier if they have to off the other (something about Lando being Besties with them both and them feeling like they could only justify killing the other to him if they hated each other or smt) but then growing closer and falling for each other and the whole nightlock situation ensues

or i could see them in a more ballad of songbirds and snakes situation. Carlos as Snow and Oscar as Lucy? Carlos would fit so well in that upper class Capitol and hed get Oscar as his recruit. but like. it doesnt all turn to shit and they run off into the sunset and get a happy ending please.

two male tributes from the same district that's not for a quarter quell would honestly make a good story, and the capitol loves a good story. or it could be a quarter quell? like haymitch's, so it's 4 tributes instead of 2. and they're both reaped. lando is ast year's winner, the only surviving one from 12 so he automatically becomes a mentor despite being just 17. he feels bad for carlos who was already 18 and if he had been safe this year then he would've been free from the reapings forever. "you could've gotten married next month," says lando all of a sudden. then an idea hits him. to sell a love story. the 2 girls that were reaped won't work, they're 12 and 13. oscar is just a year younger than carlos. carcar thinks it's stupid, lando thinks it's pure genius. they sell the love story. THEN BAM - star-crossed lovers.

carlos as coryo!! omg. but he doesn't end up klling anybody, and he actually gets to keep his head, his sanity, his love, and he and oscar (winner of the 10th hunger games) escape to the meadow to live happily ever after.

[raapija]

hi! as a prompt for pookie au (which i love), how do you think carlos would react to finding out his dad is dating LANCE of all people? would he be immediately freaking out or would he hold it in and rant to charles about it later?

Thank you for the prompt. <3

(Carlos and Charles hadn't yet met, as this is set in 2018.)

summary: Lance talks with Carlos for the first time after Lance and Fernando told him they were dating. Also some strollonso fluff to balance it out.

warnings: some swearing, Carlos being extremely mean to Lance

Lance fiddled with the sleeve of his hoodie. He could feel his ears burning as Carlos stared at him from the other side of the patio table. The cool evening air made his skin tingle.

"Why?" he heard Carlos ask after what had felt like 15 minutes of silence. Lance had sat down with him after having dinner with Fernando. It was the first time they told Carlos that they were together. Lando or Oscar probably would've blurted it out at some point, but it was definitely easier to tell him like this.

"What?" Lance asked for him to clarify what exactly he meant by 'why?.' He couldn't really look at Carlos, because he knew he was staring daggers back at him. They had been racing together for years, but had never really became friends or spent time together. Carlos was also a couple years older than him and had always been kind of intimidating to Lance. Something about those dark brown eyes.

"Why my dad? Of all people, why him?" Carlos continued his questioning. Now Lance looked at him and his heart skipped a few beats as he saw the expression on Carlos' face. Contempt.

"I love him."

Carlos scoffed and Lance felt something inside him shift. He straightened in his seat and took a deep breath. He wasn't going to give in.

"Listen," he started. "I really do like him. I know it's fucking weird that he's older and you're older than me, but so what? We like each other. It's not just some fling. He's done a lot for me and I for him. I love him."

Carlos studied him from across the table. The longer he didn't say anything, the faster Lance's heart beat. Adrenaline rushing in his veins as if he was on a race track, trying to overtake him at a high-speed corner. In the end, it was Carlos who averted his eyes to look away.

"If you break his heart, I'll kill you." Carlos said and Lance breathed out. His face was serious. "I've seen what it's like for him, and I don't want to see that again, ever. So don't you dare."

"I won't hurt him. I promise." Lance said and Carlos' eyes moved back to focus on him.

"You promise?" he chuckled, now sounding condescending. "That's what the last guy said as well. And then he left him."

Lance's heart was about to burst out of his chest. Maybe he couldn't overtake in the corner and instead would crash into the wall.

"My dad gave everything to me. He gave me a chance when no one else would. He doesn't deserve you. He's got all he needs in me and my brothers. He loves us. Not you. " Carlos said, his words cutting right through Lance like little knives. It made his throat turn dry. "You understand?"

"I do." Lance got out. Carlos' chair dragged painfully on the tile flooring of the patio when he stood up to leave. As he walked past Lance, he gave him a strong pat on the shoulder and made Lance flinch. Crashed, in the wall. Game over.

"I'll be watching you." Carlos said and then stepped back into the house, leaving him alone. Lance breathed out and a flood of emotions ran through him as he relaxed. He was 20. Just barely got into F1 and immediately started dating a 37 year-old with three grown kids. This really did sound like some sort of a breakdown if you looked at it from the outside. Still, he was glad the only person at his throat was Carlos and not the media. Only a few people knew, and that was for the best. He had enough on his plate as a 'pay-driver'.

¬

Later that night, Lance was laying in bed, deep under the covers and waiting for Fernando to join him. He had been in this bed countless times before, but the idea of Carlos lurking somewhere in the same house made him uneasy.

He could finally hear Fernando's familiar footsteps climbing up the staircase to the second floor where the bedroom was. As soon as he stepped into the room, Lance's mind stopped racing.

"You okay?" the Spaniard asked as he sat down on the other side of the bed from Lance. He must've sensed Lance's anxiety all the way from downstairs.

"Yeah. Talked to Carlos." Lance said and turned onto his side so he could see Fernando better. The older man laid his watch and jewelry from his wrists on the bedside table and the slid under the covers. They were both facing each other and Lance scooted a little closed so Fernando could wrap an arm around him.

"How it go? Not too scary, I hope." Fernando's voice was soothing and Lance settled against his chest, warm skin touching his forehead. He felt Fernando press little kisses into his hair on the top of his head.

"He only threatened to kill me, so not that bad." Lance said and Fernando laughed. Him laughing made it feel a bit better, like he wasn't actually going to get beat up if he made one mistake.

"That's my Carlito." Fernando hummed and squeezed Lance a little closer to him, slowly running his hand up and down his back. "Don't worry about him. He likes to pretend he's tougher than he is."

"He told me someone broke your heart before so he didn't want me to repeat that." Lance said and Fernando's hand stopped moving.

Lance heard a quiet 'oh...' and wriggled back a bit to look at him. Fernando's eyes were sad. Lance didn't like that.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no." Fernando hurried to stop him from apologizing. He moved his hand up and set it on Lance's cheek. "That's nothing. History. I got you now, so it's okay."

"Yeah?" Lance asked and Fernando gently tucked a bit of his hair behind his ear. The Spaniard smiled at him, his eyes back to normal and happy. The things Carlos had said still irked at the back of Lance's brain, but he didn't press on it.

"You fix me." Fernando said and moved in to kiss Lance on the forehead. He then pulled him close again and held his arm tight around him. "I talk with Carlito tomorrow. Tell him to be nice to you."

Lance hummed and could already feel himself falling asleep. It felt so safe with Fernando. Strong arms holding onto him and his warmth transferring into him. Everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay.

[rianneeyre]

Director's cut of this, please!! He likes pets, because they’re so much easier to deal with than people. They don’t catch onto his social gaffes, they’re never disappointed when he messes up. They just want to be fed and watered and stroked. Touching them also doesn’t lead to sensory overload. Sometimes Cecil wants to cuddle with Carlos but it’s too much, and then he has to say no and watch the disappointment wash over Cecil’s face, so badly hidden that even Carlos can see it. It’s not that Cecil doesn’t understand – he’s been wonderful, so supportive Carlos can hardly believe it. He’s just disappointed, because he wants to touch Carlos but can’t, and those moments make Carlos feel even worse than he already does when his skin tingles from all the touches of that day.

He wonders why that doesn’t happen when he touches animals. Maybe it’s because there’s not as much social stimuli to go with the sensations. Sometimes, Carlos regrets that he didn’t major in psychology. Maybe he would’ve understood his autism better. But he thinks wanting to understand yourself is a bad reason to do a major, and anyway he’s always been more interested in chemistry and physics.

When he reaches the sofa, he spends a minute trying to arrange the throw pillows without dropping the cat. Finally, he stretches out on the sofa and places the cat on his belly. It peers into his face for a moment before lying down and pulling its paws under its body.

Carlos takes off his glasses and puts them on the coffee table. Then he begins stroking the cat, and it purrs in response. Before long, it uncurls its body and stretches out, head on Carlos’ shoulder and body draped over his chest and stomach. He smiles and watches the cat as it’s gently carried up and down by the movement of his breathing.

“I hope you’re still around by the time Cecil gets home,” he tells the cat as a yawn overtakes him. “Because he’s bound to love you.”

The cat rubs its head against him. It’s soothing and perfect, and before he knows it, Carlos is asleep.

Ooh thanks for sending this in! Deep cut!! This is from Soft Fur.

This fic was a bit of a character study of my version of Carlos and an exploration of his sensory issues in particular. I'm not autistic, but I do have some sensory issues (though not in the way Carlos does here) and I was definitely using this fic to muse about those and explore how Carlos related to himself, the knowledge and understanding of himself that he had. Looking back, it's interesting that I'm commenting in this section on how Carlos wishes he'd studied psychology to understand himself better. I at the time WAS studying psychology and it's not actually particularly helpful in understanding your own psyche or sensory system, in my experience. I also think I've found since that it's much more satisfying to know what helps you and how to manage your sensory/mental system, than it is to know about the WHY of things, which is what Carlos is speculating about here.

The overarching goal of this fic, though, was to capture something really soft and gentle between Carlos and Cecil, and I think you can see that in this passage as well. The connection that Carlos has with Cecil in cat-form here is really soothing, gentle, safe. That's something I wanted for this version of Carlos and probably also something I was longing for myself at the time of writing.

I remember I had this fic beta'ed by a friend of mine who's autistic, as a sensitivity read. I think it was the first time that that friend read any of my writing (she later read some of my other stuff as well). Particularly back then, that would've been really vulnerable for me as well. These days I'm far more confident overall than I was at 21 when I wrote this, and also more confident in my writing (though getting beta comments is still always daunting!!).

Also, I have a cat now (I didn't then) and it's funny to try to picture him acting like cat!Cecil because Caspian is about 100x more aloof. He would never be so undignified as to be a lap cat.

Hope this was fun to read!!

[slow-button-off]

Hello!

I believe the main reason Carlos always gets the better strategy is because that’s the only way they can make up the pace gap between the two of them. I think there is a decent performance gap between them, Charles almost being given the role of both drivers. Wherever he is on track, he’ll be the one used to cover off the Red Bulls / Mercedes’. 

It does (sort of) make sense to use your faster driver as defence because of the better pace as using the slower driver wouldn’t work as well. It also shows that they’re trying to maximise the Constructors’ points by doing this.

What doesn’t make sense is they’re losing more points by doing this - Silverstone and Monaco could’ve been podiums for both of the Ferraris and Hungary could’ve been at least one podium finish if Charles’ strategies weren’t horrific. They’ve been maximising Carlos’ points all season and giving him good strategies (compared to his teammate) and he’s only won one race this season because of the pace gap.

Something I also don’t understand is why Binotto feels the need to not say what they’re actually doing - if this is truly their goal, why lie and blame everyone else?

They’ve wasted an amazing year, they have good drivers, and a good car, why wait until next year? Both of the drivers’ contracts expire at the end of 2024, and their re-signing isn’t guaranteed.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Ferrari and this is the only way I can rationalise their strategies lol. I think the rest of the season is going to be more of a battle between Ferrari and Mercedes for second in the Constructors’.

Do you have an opinion on this? I apologise for sending you an essay but this has been in my head all day lol

This Twitter thread is also a great read and heavily inspired by this: www.twitter(.)com/_allthatglitz/status/1558568878497751044

hiya!

Don't apologise for the essay I love these essays and you're getting one back!

I did see the thread yesterday morning but I just wanted to look at some things before I said anything.

There is a decent performance gap between them in the race. There has been a lot of talk of Carlos getting closer but honestly that's just been happening in quali and not in the race.

In races that both finished there are only two races where Carlos has the faster average and that's Canada where Charles was stuck in DRS train after DRS train and Silverstone. But if you remove the last laps after the SC then Charles is faster.

(btw if you want to see the racepace table let me know and I'll post it)

Funnily enough the gap was closest in Jedda, Silverstone is second but Charles was stuck behind Carlos for a good while so to have a pace gap of 1.5 tenths which he mainly made in those few laps in the lead is impressive.

Usually the gap is around 3 tenths or 0.3-0.5% (percent is better because the track length aspect is removed. It's easier to have a bigger margin on longer tracks)(very similar to Verstappen and Perez although Perez did get closer to Verstappen than Carlos has gotten to Charles in a normal race)

All in all this is a complicated topic.

I don't think that Ferrari have hidden that they are if they are focused on a championship they are focused on constructors. I feel like they have always been saying that they always want the best team result.

I wouldn't say that they've given Carlos the better strategy per se imo it's more complicated than that.

I've looked at the races again. In Monaco they couldn't really use Carlos to cover Perez because if they had pitted Carlos the next lap he would've been behind Perez and that doesn't make much sense. What they should've done would've been to not wait the extra lap before pitting Charles because waiting that extra lap but Charles behind. They tried to use Carlos but couldn't because there wasn't enough of a gap. The double stack was what punted Charles off of the podium. They would've had a decent result otherwise with a 2-3. Still shite for Charles but better for the team.

In Silverstone it had to be a quick decision and I'm not fully sure if there would've been the time to actually double stack without losing out to Hamilton. They definitely couldn't keep Carlos out because he was about to be eaten by Hamilton anyway and he would've tumbled down much further considering his pace that day. Norris and Alonso also pitted and were very much on the others arse then Perez, Charles and Hamilton were fighting. I don't want to be mean to Carlos but looking at his pace that they he would've probably finished 6th had they not pitted him. So what ended up being a 1-4 would've been a 1-6. Also I am with Sara, that had Carlos given Charles more space on the restart that he'd have had the chance to clinch third.

In Hungary again there was no chance to use Carlos to cover either Russell or Verstappen again not enough of a gap. And with his pace that weekend Carlos wasn't having a great race whatsoever anyway. And when they pitted Charles that early they had to use the hards because it was way too early for softs.

I think on one had they are trying to prioritise Charles, I do believe that, plus obviously they want the best team result. It's not like they are using Charles to cover drivers for Carlos, that's not happening. They are using Charles to cover drivers for Charles. Sometimes they are just a bit slow with making that decision and it forces them into trying things that don't work out like the hards in Hungary.

It feels weird to use the driver to cover for themselves imo mainly because RB and Merc don't mind using their other driver to do so. I think Ferrari would also like to do so but like you said the race pace gap makes that hard atm. And where RB and Merc (with Bottas) didn't mind ruining their race here and there to have them cover for Verstappen and Hamilton Ferrari aren't willing to do so.

And it makes sense to not do it in a season where the title isn't the real goal. Why upset on of your drivers for the potential of a chance that you already know the team kinda isn't ready for. It does make more sense to keep Carlos sweet in this case. It's not like they are actively gifting him things those are more coincidences it's just that they aren't fucking it for him.

There are definitely still issues with they tyre sim and they better be working to sort that out because it kills me. And they still need to get better at being quicker with reacting but also not getting so caught up in wanting to get it right for Charles and not make Carlos kill his race that they end up reacting to every little threat ever. Because at least atm they can only react to threats to Charles with Charles so only reacting to the real threats would also make it better.

I do think that this is part of it but imo it's not the whole story and it's more complex than that. But being more willing to use Carlos to cover threats for Charles would already make things a lot better (not for Carlos and his fans tho probably)

[stiles-hoodie]

HSMTMTS - TAKE TWO 2x1 New Year's Eve

Season 1 - Episode 10

Ricky vs Bowen Count: Ricky [5] Bowen []

This Episode: Ricky - 1 ("alright, Ricky." right after he sings Bet On It to everyone)

Ribbon Count: Nini [2]

This Episode:

Carlos just inviting everybody to Ashlyn's

"Good relationships are all about good communication." Ricky is aware of this from the get-go he made his mistake last season with communicating poorly and he's planning on not doing that again. Nini right after he says this reveals she still hasn't told Ricky and she's leaving in pretty much two weeks.

Mike really is not a good cook. He also should've talked to Ricky about how he was thinking about moving first.

This interaction leads into his conversation with Nini. He's losing his childhood house and this is the first Christmas without his mom. The only thing he sees as home and safety now is Nini. He feels like he can always count on Nini, which makes Nini not tell him the truth.

Ricky was actually practicing for his audition this time, but then Nini left and he lost his motivation. Not just because of Nini but because like he did in season 1 where he lost motivation to even get dressed, those days, weeks even months happen.

"It was opening night everything was crazy it could've been a fluke." Big Red is talking about him and Ash but this can kind of tie in with everything else that happened opening night

Ricky sings his last line of Bet On It towards EJ

"My cows."

Ricky assuming Nini's was Gina's makes sense even when she brought herself down from being impulsive she was always ambitious. I don't think Ricky said it in a mean way and I don't think Gina took it as mean either. I think she just clarified that it wasn't actually her and that she was planning to stay for the year. I think anybody would've thought it was Gina. Ricky just happened to be the one who said it.

Nini knows having it said out loud she needed to talk to Ricky. Ricky seems genuinely confused because Nini hasn't mention anything about wanting to leave anywhere and Kourtney looks awkward but continues on. Before she read it out loud though she stammered a bit. She knew she was about to read Nini's not only was she going to be upset she knew that reading out loud would make things weird. I'm pretty sure she knew she hadn't told Ricky yet.

Also Nini literally using the game as a way to kind of announce it or ease Ricky into it was really bad idea.

Kourtney knows its Ashlyn. (She knows. She knows. sorry)

Ashlyn likes whats going on in her life just EJ does.

"I'm in if your in" Then her saying she's moving to Denver kind fo proves the point that even if he did want to do the play for himself the thought or realization never actually crossed his mind.

I've said it before and I'll say it again I hate how Nini said it in front of everyone. It's like when his mm wanted to tell him about the divorce in a public setting. Which makes some people keep their reaction down. I wonder how the rest of the scene would've went if we saw it. He'd probably shake himself out of it (he's done in getcha head in the game it would be easier to do it here) and probably push any feeling he has down.

[handy-is-still-anonymous]

"What..? What did you just call me?"

Adrian stared at the other, trying to process what was happening, but his eyes widened when the man took the helmet off. Oh my god...

"Oh come on, even after 16 years..."

Barney smiled softly at Adrian, his hazel eyes still glowed even in the small sewer light,

"Im not allowed to used that nickname?"

Adrian nearly knocked Barney over when he hugged him, laughing softly. "Oh my God, you're un-fucking-believable." Barney only smiled at that and hugged him back tightly. "I've missed you so much. Everything had been so hectic the past few month. Or well more hectic than usual. It doesn't help that I thought you were dead. I didn't think I had anyone left. I thought I would just die alone- that I wouldn't ever get to see you again- and I-"

"Barney," Adrian mumbled soothingly, rubbing the leader's back. "It's okay now." He mumbled, more saying it all to himself than Barney, but the small man still took it as comfort. "Good. I really need someone like you around."

"Well we can't stay around... here at least. Let me show you how this sewer system works." Adrian turned and started to lead the way, walking with the same confidence and strict, squared shoulders as he did when marching through black mesa. That gave a bit more comfor to Barney as he followed behind him.

"This tunnel right here will lead to a medic camp some people have made, it's not as slick as it used to be, so it's easier to run there without slippjng busting your head. The tunnel to our right, is the way well go to get a crossed 'the border'. There isn't really one now but it gets us to the other camps outside of the cities. Out there though. I can't help much. That's for the other team to explain to you. I'm just here to guide through the sewers." Adrian walked over to a ladder in the right tunnel, "If it makes you feel better though, this guy that's up here sells stollen goods like ammo and food. Even some water he's purified."

His face showed a serious frown whilst explaining everything, his hands move as if to help pronounce and explain the words. His body shivered though. It reminded both men how dangerous just being there was.

Barney, even though he was scared, didn't let that fear control him as much as he used to. He has people to save now. People to fight for. He needed to protect Alyx, and Eli. He'd protect Kleiner more if that stupid scientist didn't keep bringing headcrabs in as 'pets'.

This was serious shit. In America you would probably just get arrested, even if your record was fucked you could just steal and run forever. Now? You would be killed infront of everyone. Your dead body being shot to death would've been a message to those on your side that they could run and hide forever. That's why you had to train to pull your gun out faster, know your enemy better then they know themselves. Steal as much equipment as possible and make sure to keep your guard up, everywhere.

Yeah, you can probably guess Barney wasn't sleeping good at all. No one really was. Could you blame them in this sick twisted world of destruction and 'order'. Made Barney wanna gag more just thinking about it...somehow, Adrian looked younger, like he never aged a day since they last met. Focus Barney, focus. You ain't got time for romance.

They climbed up the ladder to the merchant up top. Adrian introduced him.

"This is Carlos Devina. He's probably the most important guy during this trip. Sometimes he'll not be here and sometimes he will be. His schedule changes. This week he'll be here today, tomorrow and the Friday. Next week he'll be here Monday, Thursday and Saturday. Week after that he'll be here Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. Then the schedule will repeat."

"What's tomorrow again?"

"Tuesday, today is Monday."

"Got it. I need to write this down."

"Habit of being in the military, you just memorize the days. Used a copy of a calender before this shit started and went from there." Adrian chuckled softly and Carlos cleared his throat.

"I can give you a free copy of the calendar if you'd like, Mr. Calhoun. It marks the days ill be open so you won't have to write anything down."

"Yes, please I'll take 7."

Carlos went into the back doors of his shop. Adrian whistled to get Barney's attention. "So, resistance leader huh? Last time I checked you were bloody, limping and anxious. "

"Eh, I still am sometimes. I mean anxious and limping. I'm not always bloody." Barney grinned and Adrian nearly kissed him, but, unfortunately Carlos came back with 7 calenders, gently handing them to the resistance leader. "Here you go, Mr. Calhoun, anything else I can get you two?"

"That'll be all I think." Adrian said firmly and Carlos smirked. "Alright. Well, if you need me, just press the button as always. I'll be back here." And with that Carlos was gone again. Adrian mumbled something under his breath before asking. "I know you have an important role in this all, you don't usually get a break I'm sure, but... if you need me I'm always in the sewers."

Barney frowned, "I'll be meeting you in the sewers tomorrow, Adrian, and not for the reason you want. I'm gonna be bringing a lot of people and I need you and your team to be ready. I'm sorry but I... I guess I don't have much time anymore for romances and flirty games."

Games. Right. All this was, was a flirty game.

"I... understand. We'll be ready for you. I'll have Carlos cook extra meals. How many people will be here?" Adrian gulped down that stupid lump in his throat.

Barney, always clueless to other's emotions, didn't notice the change. "Just 3. I don't wanna get too suspicious." And with that, the meeting had ended. Barney left with one last goodbye and Adrian just felt stuck. He felt gross too, but he couldn't focus on that. It wasn't important. People's lives were at stake.

His. Feelings. Didn't. Matter.

Games.

Tag List:

@girzapata6

[minthysugamon]

Barell of a Gun (Hitman! Jimin x Reader)

(Warnings: This one is pretty dark. Please don't read if you feel uncomfortable at the mentions of Paid Murder,Gambling,Uncomfortable Situations and Kidnapping. This doesn't depict Jimin's real personality. It's only a work of fiction. Please don't associate Jimin with this after you read it,he isn't like that in real life. IT IS ONLY A WORK OF FICTION BASED ON A JAMES BOND-AGENT 47 TYPE OF CONDUCTING LINE)

Word count: 2045

As soon as night has fallen,he started to get ready. Pen,check. Knives,check. 9mm,check. Everything was going perfectly. Park Jimin never paid attention to the victim. At least,he never let his emotions rule over the goal he had in front of him. And that goal was the 1,000,000$ he will get after he eliminated the person in the portfolio. It's a well paid price,and until he does the job without being noticed,it's worth it. He never accorded time to his emotions. It's a rational job,find the person,eliminate them,get paid. Nothing really hard. He prefers to say eliminate because killing would make his targets look like victims,whilst most of them are just rotten people.

"Agent 91,welcome. Please type in the password to unlock." His computer displayed the following words. He typed it in once. Doesn't work. The fourth time,same thing happened. "Fuck. Not again. I don't have time for this shit right now." Jimin was starting to get agitated. The fifth time,he just scanned his retina,hoping it would work. And it did. Thankfully. Because if it hadn't,the whole fuck-up would've cost him a lot of money and primarily his life,probably.

While sitting in the car,you had some Depeche Mode song your brother was blasting earlier in his room,stuck on repeat in your head. It was called Barrel of a Gun or something,the guitar riff was kinda cool so it stuck to your neurones. The ride to the casino was accompanied by an awkward silence,your date for the night has chosen some pompous place to dine at and now wanted to go gamble some money away. He was the son of some rich politician at your school,of course he would do something like that. "Did you like the meal?" The guy placed a hand on your knee,not as if you had asked,but for the moment you didn't do anything. "Yes,i liked it,even thought the wine was a little bit dry for my taste." He simply smirked and rolled up the partition in the back of the Limousine before his hand has made its way higher up on your thigh. "Well..if it can comfort you,i know that something won't be as dry as the wine tonight." Breaking point. You took his hand into yours and simply smiled. "Jacques,listen. I appreciate your gestures and all,but please,please,pretty please,don't ever fucking touch me again without me consenting to it." You heard a pop coming from the bone of his hand,not realising you were literally almost breaking it so you had let it go.

Jimin had stepped into the grand hall of the Casino of Monte Carlo,getting the casual verifications done. He stood at the roulette table,and since he had some time to kill,he didn't mind gambling away some thousands. The main point was to blend in,not to be outstanding. "Mesdames,Messieurs,Faites-vos jeux." He had forgotten how wonderful the french language sounds...as wonderful as a cat choking on some plastic wrap. His bet was put on the number 3,his lucky number. Not that he was superstitious,but it always brought him chance,so...why not this time? "Les Jeux sont faits." As soon as the roulette started spinning,he looked around himself and finally saw his target. But it wasn't planned that he will have company.

Sitting besides Jacques while he was playing a hand,needless to say,it was more than just boring. You never wanted to go home as much as you did now. Plus,the high-heels were killing your feet,it was a plus reason for you to just get up and leave. But you didn't. Simply because he was already kind enough to take you on a date,so,you had nothing more to do than just sit beside him and observe. Jacques wasn't good at Poker,even if he liked to think the opposite,and his loss was already over 100,000€. If he were a simple man,he would already be indebted,but it wasn't the case. The game only started to be interesting when another man sat down at the table and joined the party.

"May i?" Jimin asked with a small smile on his lips. He knew his target was beside him,it will be easier to calculate his every moves. But he didn't realise it will be harder since you were in the frame too. As soon as the game started,he saw that the guy wasn't good at playing,only bluffing,so,he took this to his advantage and told himself he will use the "I'm just tryna help you bro" card later. Jimin's eyes were mostly on you though,and he didn't calculate his emotions,but he would've been lying if he said you weren't beautiful.

You were looking at the cards in Jacques's hands. Seeing the 3 others on the table,he was already fucked,but of course,he had to bluff. "50,bet" echoed from the man beside you and everyone folded. Except one. The new player at the table. "Oh...i see you play with big amounts...let me make it more interesting then. Calling 1600." The black haired man's proposition made you jump a little bit. It wasn't only 1600€,but 1,600,000. "So..? What do you think? Reasonable proposition,no? Or...are you scared of losing?" The guy smirked and your partner stood up. "I'm going for a smoke. Pause the game." "Man,it isn't such a bad proposition,but okay...let's say 1,400,000 to save your honor." He followed Jacques to the balcony. Which was a pretty bad idea knowing how he can get when he's angry,you knew how out of hand the situation could get,he was the same at Uni. Anger Issues was his middle name.

Jimin was only trying to provoke the poor guy. Poor...let's not say that. He was the kid of an asshole that got rich by scamming poor people. Let alone,the father was a politician. The only way for Jimin to attain his final target was to hurt him. Not that he had to,but it was more effective this way. "Stop fucking following me. I have enough of your gimmicks. I saw how you were looking at him. You're on a date with me,not him." The hitman simply laughed. "Oh..you thought your little girlfriend came after you? Believe me,she has better things to do. Now,if you excuse me..." Gun cocked. Silencer already on. And fire. The bullet went straight through the younger one's head,in between the eyes. "Bull's eye. Good." As the body of the guy has fallen,Jimin started to wipe his silencer and put the pistol away. Too bad the girl was at the balcony as he did it.

"What the fuck have you done? WHO THE FU-" You screamed at him,but the scream hadn't live to its full potential as the guy from the table had silenced you with a hit to your head. You woke up five hours later,tied to a chair,in a living room in some old ass apartment,still propably in southern France. "Rise and shine babygirl,you're safe now. My name is...you have no buisness knowing it,but call me 91. Or Jay. Whatever suits you." As you looked around you,you saw nothing you could recognise. Only the feeling of the rag on your mouth was prominent,with the bounds around your wrists and legs. "I guess i should take off the gag...but can i trust you to not scream?" You nodded,already planning to get away somehow. As Jay took off the gag you inhaled and tried to scream but he had his hand in front of your mouth. "I should've killed you when i had the chance. I didn't need any kind of witnesses. But here i am,trying to plan out something so you don't talk. Now. Stop screaming or i'll send a bullet flying through your brain. Also..what's your name again?" He knew it of course...but wanted to hear it as he took off his hand of your mouth and looked at you. "Wasn't that your initial plan? And my name is (Y/n)." The sass in your words left him surprised enough to smile and unload his gun. "Wow,getting sassy i see. I like it." "Why did you kill him? Was it because he was involved in some shady buisness?" You talked way more than you should have. And Jimin liked that. More information means more time...which means a better approach towards the target. "What do i look like? A social justice warrior? Honey,i get paid for shit like this. But now,my only problem is you. What should i do with you? You weren't in the frame. And now you are here,bound to a chair...don't get me wrong,i like the view,but you shouldn't have wandered away from that goddamn table yesterday." You simply lowered your head and looked at his hands. He was fidgeting. Unable to decide what he should do. "You should probably kill me then. I mean,if i am too much to handle,and since you know i'll be talking as soon as i get out of here,you should just choke me to death...quick and effective." He smiled and took your chin with two fingers so you were looking into his eyes. "Let me think about it. But i already know i won't kill you...in the end,you're truly innocent so..there would be no fun in that." "So...you're pretty much a social justice warrior then" He let your chin go and stood up to walk around the apartment.

Jimin knew killing you would've made too much mess,plus,cleaning the whole appartment after it would have taken too much time. Plus...he kinda started to like you. You were the type of girl he could settle with. So he went with plan B...or more like,he wanted to go with plan b which was about to let you go and threaten you to not talk. But as soon as he heard footsteps coming towards the apartment,Jimin changed his mind and chose Plan C. "You'll be coming with me. We have to get away. I already lost more than 3 hours with you getting in my way."

You were quickly untied and he secured a gun around your thigh. "You know how to use one? Just in case,to be safe." Why on earth would he give you a gun? "I could kill you right now if i wanted." "Yeah,i know,but you don't want to. That's the positive point. Now open the window and get out." God knows why you obeyed him,but it was almost automatic. Did you like the rush of the situation? Maybe yes. Maybe it was simply because you were scared...maybe it was because you kind of liked the way the whole situation turned out. He was following you as soon as he cleared the area,and unlocked his car. "Get in. I'll be here soon. No more than 2 minutes." "Huh? Where the fuck are you going?" "Getting my shit and then i'll be here." And with that,he was already on his way.

No more than two minutes after,he was back with his suitcase and the briefcase containing some papers,his pc and most importantly,the money. "Buckle the belt. We'll be on the road for 10 to 15 hours..." "Where are we going?" He simply smiled and turned the engine on. "Let that be a surprise..." "So...you're pretty much kidnapping me,right?"

He chuckled and looked into the rear-view mirror. "It's better than the barrel of a gun against your head at least. And...you'll see,it won't be as bad as you think."

Was this really the life you were about to live? Probably. Was it safe? Probably not,but did you have any other choice? No. But...little did you know,it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

(Y'all,i'm sorry if it is bad...i really wanted something different but in the end idk...it doesn't seem good to me...i let you all be the judge)

[mish-tique]

Hii it's me, 🥺🌹

SOoo I'll be live-asking again because it was so fun and seeing you reply to each one was so heartwarming

I just love author-reader interactions because one of them wrote a thing then the other read it and they get to fan about it and the whole dynamic is just ❤️ lovely

But I won't be spamming this time haha, i think it may be easier for both of us??

Anyways, before I breakdown in your askbox once again, thank you for your works (not just the grindr fic), youre so talented!!, and congrats on finishing this one!

"Charles is giddy, smiling to himself like a teenage boy texting his first crush" - same same, here i am having breakfast just smiling to my laptop

Max is setting the mood - im just nodding along and they really went from sexting on grindr to whatsapp and im so proud of them

"Whatever makes you sleep at night // A thorough fucking would do the job // But alas // You're not here" - this series of texts just had me cackling, he needs a fuck so bad

Yes, holy shit, you really can't just say that - i'm taking a pause and finishing my breakfast, damn shoulve known that i'd be dying reading this

yeah im back

"I was a bottom virgin not a maiden whose maidenhood had to be taken to consummate a marriage" hahhhahah, i would take those soft kisses, i'm just not built like charles

"It’s unfair how much power you have over me" - what's unfair is the shit ferrari is pulling every race weekend, i'm sorry charles, i'm sorry carlos, i'm sorry ms f1-75, i'm sorry max, you all deserved better races and better rivalries

called it, they'll be calling

had to finish the smut first, i was so , i need a moment, fuck

okay, french talk, the begging, this line -> "Max’s moans are like his own personal anthem, even better than the Monegasque anthem that surrounds him whenever he’s on top of the podium"

i I'm losing my mind and i don't know what else to say, the way you wrote it, "Max always feels exactly right, and Charles wants to memorize this feeling."

"In more ways than one, Charles hopes he will never have to untangle himself from Max. He likes this hold he’s in, likes the hold he has on Max. He likes Max. Way more than he can express" - this is just perfect to end that scene

the pillow talk is just perfectly them

AHHHH CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S DONE

hii, ugh honestly so good and sexy and soft and lovely

deserves all the kudos missed because of ao3's one kudos policy

gonna give you more flowers

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

ahhh thank you so much for sharing this with us

cant wait for kinktober, and your next projects. i just know that they'll be so good because youre writing them

massive CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND THIS FIC

goodluck with life, i hope you have a good day

with that, I bid you adieu - 🥺🌹

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 7 altho by now I assume everyone that looks on this blog has also read the grindr fic. if not, what are you waiting for? (/fondly)

Honestly sweetheart, you could've spammed or not, I would've been happy regardless! If you did do them seperately it might've been a little easier for me to hide them behind a spoiler but hey, it works like this lmao.

And aaah, thank you so much! I hope you will like the future works too <33

YOU READ THE FIC ON YOUR LAPTOP??? heathen. (/fond) I expected better from you sweetheart.

Honestly. Sexting in whatsapp is so weird when it has always been contained to another app. Do Not Recommend tbh.

Charles is just a needy boy. He can't help it.

And he's truly one of a kind. Also very horny. They both are.

"what's unfair is the shit ferrari is pulling every race weekend, i'm sorry charles, i'm sorry carlos, i'm sorry ms f1-75, i'm sorry max, you all deserved better races and better rivalries" -> Rose, I'm absolutely deceased. You are so right.

I too cannot believe it's done.

Thank you so much for your continues support and dropping by, you truly made my day and it's giving me so much motivation to keep writing. So this author casually opens her kinktober doc and starts all over again.

If I managed to write 30k in like, what, 2.5 week, I should manage to do more than that when I have more than a month, right?

Hope to see you in the future again <3

[ocw-archive]

Owen Wilson and Betty Thomas I Spy Interview - Ross Anthony's Hollywood Support Card, October 2002

By Ross Anthony

Owen Wilson walks into the room with a dress shirt loosely worn, a cap on his ungroomed hair, and a "Just woke up" face. He says "Hello" in a voice that's either nervous or the first utterance of the day.

Press: What's the Morgan Freeman movie you're doing?

OW: "The Big Bounce." We start filming next week in Hawaii. I feel like I've earned a tropical location because I've been in Eastern Europe for three years including this one which was Budapest.

RA: Back to "I SPY," how much is improvised?

OW: Well, Eddie is very good at improvising. And I like to improvise also, but the stuff that was in the script was kind of a starting off point.

RA: The Sewer Scene?

OW: (Laughs) Yeah...

Press: And the seduction scene.

OW: Well that was in there, and I was supposed to sing. But I haven't seen the movie. I get uncomfortable watching stuff. So I don't know what's in there. But I said, I'll do my version of singing which is what I remember, kind of talking. It was really hard in "Zoolander" just to have to do that kind of dance type stuff and even for that they had like three stunt doubles. I just don't move very well.

Press: Why do you think they called this movie "I Spy?"

OW: I don't know, I didn't see "I Spy" as a kid. I'm 33 and I must have just missed that series. And I've never really seen it, but when I signed on to the movie -- I still haven't seen it. (Laughs all around). But people told me about it. Did you guys see the show? Is the TV series funny kind of?

Press: Yes. Why didn't you want to see the series even after you took on the project?

OW: Ah, probably because I thought we were already kind of committed to where we going. And if I would have seen somebody really great maybe it would've bummed me out. That's funny though, Eddie and I never had a conversation about the TV series, but we did talk about "Uptown Saturday," Bill Cosby with Sidney Poitier, and I knew that very well and Eddie loved that.

Press: Are you really doing "Starsky & Hutch?"

OW: I think so, with Ben Stiller.

Press: Which one will you be? (Laughs all around.)

Press: Are you also writing anything right now?

OW: No.

Press: What about "Shanghai Knights?"

OW: Coming out in Feb or March?

Press: What ideas did you bring to the "I Spy" script?

OW: I'm more comfortable giving a character, a vulnerability, a sort of insecurity, something that's easier for me to relate to. That character of Carlos, was somebody I could feel sort of jealous of and threatened by. That was an idea we had once I signed on.

Press: So that was your idea?

OW: yeah...

Press: Did Eddie have to meet you and say "Yes?"

OW: No, because he didn't come over to Slavakia.

Press: How did the improvisation actually work out?

OW: With Carlos, it was meeting with Jenno and Betty and they met with the writers and they kind of fleshed it out and put it in there. I met with the writers some and that was before Eddie was involved creatively. Then on the set, you see in movie, improvises, he's doing writing on the spot. Then we sort of get a feel for each other and feed each other lines.

Press: And what about Wes?

OW: Wes is writing something now, I think he has in mind for Bill Murray. Should be funny.

Press: Which do you enjoy more, writing or acting?

OW: Usually when I'm acting, I'm drawing on the writing to come up with stuff. But the writing, those movies are probably more personal that Anaconda (Laughs) believe it or not.

Press: So will you write again then?

OW: I'll play the next couple of years out, then write something with Wes. Yeah, it's kind of amazing; we came out to work on "Bottle Rocket" which did not get a wildly enthusiastic reception from audiences. I guess, people in Hollywood, we had some supporters, Scorcese put it on his top ten list.

Press: Did you think about giving up?

OW: Yeah, I thought that, but Wes, didn't. He was ready to stay the course.

In marked contrast to the droopy shouldered Owen Wilson, boistrous Betty Thomas enters the room, speaking with vibrance, decibals and rocking back in forth in her chair with energy. Some years back, she had played the role of Officer Lucy Bates on "Hill Street Blues" -- a favorite of mine so her presence here brings a smile to my face.

Press: Why call this piece "I Spy" when it has nothing to do with the series?

BT: That's not true it does, but here's why ... because Sony forced me to do it. (Laughs all around).... I went back, looked at the "I Spy's" from television and what I really responded to was Culp and Cosby together and what they seemed to be doing. There seemed to be a "Thing" between them, sort of a glove... We tried to incorporate that gloved thing and that was the minimal that I took and I took nothing else and nor was I interested in taking anything else.

Press: There's not a big cult "I Spy" following.

BT: I think there are people that really love that film and I don't want them to come to this film and think they're going to be seeing Cosby and Culp. That's not true here. You will be rewarded if you have no pre-conceived notions about this film.

Press: What was the conversation about the title?

BT: Yeah, you want to hear it? Here we go, Amy's going to fire me. (Chuckles) I read it and I said, "okay, needs to be funny... if Eddie's doing it, I like this Owen Wilson guy I'd like to see what happens with that." Amy says, "Sounds great, sounds great" and I said, "And you can't call it 'I SPY.'" She says, "No, no it must be called 'I SPY.'" I said, "Okay, that's fine, but I'm not doing it." She said, "You really feel that strongly about it?" I said, "Maybe you can call it, 'I Spy You Box' or 'You Box I Spy' or 'We Spy,' but you can't do 'I Spy!'" ... She said, "Okay, okay if you feel that strongly" ... and week later I get a call and Amy says, "We gotta call it 'I Spy.'" .... So now I say, this is a movie called "I Spy" in spirit only... that is a Comedy-action film not an Action-comedy film.

Press: Does this have anything to do with Sony wanting to do "James Bond?"

BT: Sony has nothing, let me repeat that, nothing to do with anything in my movie. Sony did not decide anything about anything in the movie. I want to say that over and over again. And by the way, that is a huge huge complement to them. That's good.

Press: What's the secret of working with Eddie?

BT: I don't know? This time was different than the last time. He was joyous, he was warm...he's who he is right now. Just the way he improvises off of the moment ...out of the script and not out of the air. He won't let you say, "Why don't you come up with something funny?" He hates that. So he takes the script and goes, "This is good I can work with this" and then he'll surprise you on the set and he surprised Owen too. Eddie was a dream guy this time. It was a role he really wanted to play. He grew up with his father who was a boxer, they all boxed when they were young. That's what they did. He worked out by himself to put himself in the shape he was in, that's his body. He really got in good shape and I was worried, yes. But he was working out and he knew exactly what to do because of his upbringing. And you know that they originally wrote this, tennis player, basketball player. And Eddie says, "I don't know how to do any of these things, if can't do of those. I don't know how to play basketball, I'm the worst. if you have to do anything, could you do boxing? That would really turn me on."

[slow-button-off]

I was looking through the f1 tag today and there is definitely some added tension between Charles and Carlos blogs and given all that has happened with Ferrari and how they’ve handled the last few races, I feel like the last thing we need is their two fan bases going at each other. I think us chirlies had every to be angry and upset with Ferrari and this win doesn’t mean than they’ve all of a sudden have everything together. And understandably so, some chirlies were mad at Carlos too because it didn’t feel like he was being a team player.

Whereas on the other side, it seems like some Charles blogs were wishing that Carlos would crash, which is completely unacceptable so I understand Carlos fans being upset, as they should be. No driver deserves that ever. But I was also seeing that some blogs feel like how Ferrari celebrated Charles today vs. Carlos last week shows that Charles is their favored by the team which idk if I agree with. It seemed to me like the celebrations were the same besides the spraying the champagne at the team photo (which they didn’t do for Carlos) But some blogs have taken that as an example that Charles is liked more by the team which I think is a bit of a stretch….. Charles has been there longer and does feel a bit more embraced by the team but I don’t think that’s enough to say the team doesn’t care about Carlos. Everyone has an opinion and obviously you are going to defend the driver you like more but I just think some are making the situation worse by making all these assumptions about their relationship.

And lastly I think people need to separate the drivers from the fans. If certain drivers have toxic fans that say and act in a bad way, that doesn’t mean the driver is the same. I saw some blogs saying it’s hard for them to separate Charles from some of his fans and I feel like we need to move past that or else it’s just creating more unnecessary tension. You can hate a fanbase but you shouldn’t hate a driver just because of that in my opinion.

Hiya!

it's been a super tense week between the fan groups!

Imo opinion most of the blame should definitely lie with ferrari the team. At least for me, it made what happened a bit hard to take to hear his comments after. Because even if he doens't mean it that way it made him come across as a bad team player to me. And that's not great for the team.

Ferrari also really did not help to deflect the blame away from Carlos.

Nobody should wish a crash on anyone ever! I think that that is a shit thing to do!

Tbh I didn't pay much attention to how the team celebrated Carlos win I was too angry. But I did see the team picture. I get that people would've liked to see bigger celebrations for Carlos first win. but tbh Ferrari as a whole don't really celebrate wins that massively unless it's a 1-2 or Monza. And even then, yes it was Carlos first win but it included a massive strategy blunder that took a 1-2 away from the team and that sucks for everyone that's involved.

They did also lose a 1-2 today, but reliability is a bit easier to take because shit happens but a strat blunder is a bit more than just shit happening because it would've been easily avoidable.

Like you said, I don't think that the team necessarily prefer Charles but imo they do have a slightly different relationship with him. But I would say that that is hardly surprising because not only has he been there longer he also came through the FDA. He has essentially been with this team for 6 years. They've watched him grow up. He is Ferraris kid vs Carlos who is in just his second year with the team. Charles is much more ingrained into this team. And because they have invested so much into him those returns just have an extra meaning.

And I don't think anyone can be too surprised about that because if you pay attention to how the team has spoken about both of them you see a difference. Charles is who they compare with Gilles and who they say they think will bring them a championship. There are definitely some different expectations there. But considering the length of their relationship and Charles being homegrown I don't think you can fault them.

Yeah, I think there has been a bit too much speculation into relationships. Also from my side. But it's so easy to just let your thoughts run wild when these sort of things happen.

But I firmly believe that everything is fine between the drivers and if there are issues that it's issues between their teams. As in who is behind them. Because there are definitely some politics at play.

Yes, the fans should not reflect on the driver because lbr Charles is definitely a much nicer person than most of us lol. It's just part of fandom to be a bit much. But yeah neither guy is at fault for what his fans say.

I think it's fine to slander a bit but in the end I think it should stay respectful because both of them still risk their life in these cars.