#help I’ve got this song by Big Red Machine & Taylor Swift so stuck in my head I’ve started trying to learn it on my ukulele 😂

[loustyleshtommo]

Song Theory of Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department: Track 28

Because Matty Healy is a stinky red herring. Let me tell you why Track 28 Peter is actually about Louis Tomlinson whose favorite number is 28, and present the evidence that Taylor Swift really said: forget that guy on the chief coming straight home to me. Goddess Karlie can STEP ON ME.

ps. I blame this entire song analysis on Taylor releasing folklore on One Direction’s 10th HBD.

Peter

Forgive me, Peter, my lost fearless leader

“my lost fearless” could refer to Taylor’s second studio album. She lost that masters to Big Machine. Before she announced her re-release of Fearless (Taylor’s Version), Louis released his solo debut album Walls, with a song called Fearless, “Cash in your weekend treasure for a suit and tie, a second wife” seemingly referencing her Lover era (ME! mv) as well as her past relationship with Dianna Agron and her present with Karlie Kloss.

“Now I’m not saying that you could’ve done better. Just remember that I, I’ve seen that fire alight.” Louis knew Taylor was planning to come out and was well on her way to execute that plan before it all went wrong. (Re: The 2019 NYC Pride Parade Outfit She Never Wore)

His song was encouraging her to become that fearless again. To tell her that he knew she tried. But why did Louis have to reassure Taylor? Why did Taylor feel the need to apologize to Louis?

In closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids.

Both Louis and Taylor were queer kids who got stuck in the closets as soon as they stepped foot onto the music industry scene. It’s not a pleasant place to be. Just listen to the anxiety in Taylor’s voice when she asked “Are we out of the woods?”

Was it something I did?

Who could ever forget the Haylor Winter Romance? One Direction dropped their second studio album “Take Me Home”. During that promo season, Harry Styles and Taylor Swift got papped together a lot. The fandoms were divided. Some fans still believed in Larry Stylinson and/or Swiftgron. But the tabloids insisted it gotta be Haylor. Is it Taylor’s fault that they’re still stuck in the closet today? If she hadn’t participated in handholding in Central Park/NYE kiss/Blue Dress on a Boat, would everything be different today?

The goddess of timing once found us beguiling

Both Louis and Taylor were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time for their music career to start like shooting stars (Louis: we were lucky once, I could be lucky again.)

The things about “beguiling” is that it doesn’t only mean enchanting/charming, it has the connotation of being deceptive. The goddess of timing did not find them to be truthful.

She said she was trying.

Actual deity is all powerful and rarely has to try. This is such a human quality. This person is comparable to a Goddess but she’s still just a person. I believe that the Goddess of Timing here is Kali, while the person Taylor is calling a Goddess is Karlie.

Kali is a Goddess from Hinduism aka the same place as the concept of karma (who is Taylor’s boyfriend when she wrote the songs. But once she put it out and performs it for the audience, she no longer thinks of the song Karma as her own. In her mind, it already belongs to the fans. And if that’s the kind of entertainment they’re expecting, she will continue to sing “Karma is the guy on the Chief coming straight home to me.” Because the Goddess already sees her as a liar, what difference adding one more lie is gonna make? (Did she forget about the last straw?))

Peter, was she lying?

For the Goddess of time, this is the same question about fame (what Taylor earned with the help of fortunate timing) that Taylor has been wondering about since her first Speak Now era: Never Grow Up (Keep this line in mind, it will come into play later: It’s so much colder than I thought it would be, so I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on. Wish I’d never grow up. (Such a Peter Pan thing to think.) Continued into RED (Lucky One: Now my name is up in the light. I wonder if I’d make it out alive) All the way to Clara Bow in the tortured poets department. It’s the question that’s been haunting her for ages.

For the person comparable to the Goddess, was Karlie lying? Well, if she really is with Taylor then she’s also very deep in the closet and hiding a core truth about herself. So, yes, she was lying.

My ribs got the feeling she did

This is the line that cements it for me.

This Goddess must be Kali.

And Taylor fancies herself Kali’s consort.

One of the most popular form of Kali is Dakshina Kali. She is typically shown with her right foot on her consort’s chest. It’s a show of his devotion to her.

I got the information of Kali legend from Wikipedia, and this is what THE POETS got to say about the guy at her feet.

Here’s the thing, those who worship Kali are said to be able to overcome death itself. (Honey, I rose up from the death I do it all the time. Reputation is a Karlie album confirmed by a Goddess.)

Another thing about Kali is that she is not just a Goddess of Time. She is also known as Mother Goddess; Goddess of Time, Change, Creation, Power, Destruction and Death. (So basically, the entire theme of the Tortured Poets Department. Damn, girl. Way to talk about devotion.)

Another form of Goddess Karlie Kali with her left foot on her consort, Shiva, is much more violent. She was in uncontrollable rage. To stop her from destroying the entire universe, Taylor Shiva laid down on her warpath. When she stomped on him (and likely hurt his ribs in the process, ouch), she realized with horror that she had gone too far. (Taylor’s The Great War: The worst was over…I vowed, I will always be yours.)

And I didn’t want to come down.

I thought it was just goodbye for now.

The pre-chorus subject will later change from I to We, but the theme of thinking they would have more time keeps coming back around. Taylor still wanted her name up in the light. She thought she would have more time. She thought hiding crucial part of herself was just a temporary thing.

You said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

This chorus is why I think the YOU in this song is Louis/Harry. The anxiety-inducing repetition is reminiscent of Out Of The Woods aka the song I believe was written from Louis’s perspective, and also contained one of her earliest blatantly queer-coded lyrics: The rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming colors.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

In the early One Direction days, Louis once admitted that growing old is one of his worst fears. Isn’t that the most Peter Pan thing you’ve ever heard? Taylor be like “I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending” This is one of the many reasons why I think William Bowery has never, ever, ever been Joe, but rather was actually Louis William Tomlinson (who curses like a sailer so much that infects Taylor. She never dropped f-bomb before she started writing with WB). The ships passing in the night imagery is such a Louis and Harry thing, and Taylor started using it heavily from 1989 onwards. Aka the album she wrote Style and invited the fella over there with a hella good hair to come shake it off.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

But can they really shake off the tumultuous emotions of hiding the love of your life like a skeleton in your closets? No matter how many hiding places she knew?

Words from the mouth of babes

Exhibit A to infinity: baby boyfriends

Promises oceans deep

Rope & Anchor, Ship & Compass, Pirates and nautical theme couple tattoos. You name it, they got it. Louis’s Strong and Harry’s Happily lethal combo: My hand, your hand tied up like two ships. I don’t care what people say when we’re together.

But never to keep

Exhibit crying in a cool way:

1D’s Something Great: The script was written and I could not change a thing.

1D’s Story of My Life: Written on these walls are the stories that I can’t explain

Harry horse-noises-and-i-would-lean-towards-no Styles, Sweet Creature who? Never heard of her.

Louis doesn’t-know-what-tattoo-he-got Tomlinson, but this compass is so sweet for pointing home, innit?

Never to keep

How many times are they going to have to deny their love? How many times do they have to parade around with someone else for the camera? How many times do they have to bring up conspiracies and how unfair it is for their loved ones? They keep doing things that practically break a promise of ALWAYS IN MY HEART. Are they doomed to never keeping their promises?

Are you still a mind reader?

It’s not just Louis’s Fearless song before she unlocked the vault to Fearless (Taylor’s Version), just look at the way he wrote lyrics that Taylor clearly had in mind:

Louis in Don’t Let It Break Your Heart: I know you left a part of you in New York

Taylor in Hoax: You knew I left a part of me back in New York

Louis for 1D’s Love You Goodbye: Baby, go on, twist the knife

Taylor in Hoax: my twisted knife, my winless fight

Louis for 1D’s Midnight Memories first leaked: Diana, let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life. I don’t think you even realize, but, baby, you’d be saving mine.

Taylor in reputation’s Call It What You Want: You don’t have to save me. But would you run away with me? Yes. And keep this line in mind: My baby’s fly like a jet stream.

A natural scene stealer?

I mean, I am very biased. But Louis has always stolen the scene. Whether it be “NO! Jimmy protested” on the staircase, Kevin the Pigeon, it said do not dial 9 so I dialed 9, or when singing/carrying 1D choruses, especially clear in What Makes You Beautiful and Story of My Life a cappella version.

In relation to Taylor, as soon as Haylor officially ended according to tabloid, Louis proceeded to get this giant Swift bird tattoo in his right arm.

And remember the game 1D played for FOUR promo? Louis wasn’t even trying to do anything funny and the universe was like let’s make sure the pulling-words-out-of-hats game has the funniest possible outcomes.

Harry: mine said Louis Tomlinson

Niall: got papped snogging

Zayn: Taylor Swift

*chaos erupts*

Louis: *incredulous laughter*

Harry: *seize the opportunity for the funniest joke ever* I mean, you could’ve told me

Louis: Jesus.

Anyhow, I digress. Niall said without Louis, 1D would be the most boring band in the world.

I’ve heard great things, Peter.

I mean, World Tours/Festivals/Faith in the Future. Yup, great things indeed. But it also implied that they hadn’t seen each other in person for a while. (That’s why I still on the clown train that WB is Louis. They wrote together in lockdown. Nobody was out to see anybody.)

But life was always easier on you than it was on me.

This is where I am extremely dubious of my own clown theory. I don’t believe Louis had it easier than Taylor, especially given how he lost his mom and his sister. But it helps that the next line made it clear which aspect of life she was talking about.

And sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jet stream.

This line really takes Harry out as a contender for being Peter/you. Because he already has his own place here. He’s the “your jet stream”. My baby’s fly like a jet stream. Harry is Louis’s baby. It’s been well-documented in the Larry Stylinson fandom/organization/conspiracy/call it what you want to. 😂

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon in different galaxies.

Both Taylor and Harry did the best they could do under the same circumstance. From the point of view on earth, there is only one moon. It seems so big and just within reach. But when we zoom out to the level of galaxies, it’s practically impossible to pinpoint the same moon among billions of other celestial bodies. Yet, the dark night cycle for Taylor and Harry is exactly the same. They’re both stuck in the same style of closet from when they were just kids. (Womanizer/Slut aka someone with many different partners, before it shifted to long-term low-key/marriage material themes. Likely due to the songs they kept writing which couldn’t possibly be about one-night stands, no matter which angle anyone look at it. The messages are loud and clear. They are in love and deeply devoted to one person only.) The difference is Taylor didn’t get to meet Karlie before the industry broke her spirit down. (Let all your damage, damage me.) But Louis and Harry have always had each other to rely on. #welivetogetherdealwithit.

Harry was once asked if falling in love is the best part of a relationship. Well, he said he actually believed the best part after that initial rush of infatuation is becoming a team. If that’s not enough to sound like someone in a long-term committed relationship. Harry also has a habit of singing “I’m in love with Lou and all his little things”/ “You’re still the one I run to, the one that I belong to. You’re still the one I want for life.” /“Hopelessly devoted to Lou.”

So, yeah. No wonder Taylor believed life was always easier on Louis and Harry than it was on her. Not even mentioning the things she said on The Man: I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man.

And I didn’t wanna hang around.

So Karlie and Harry was seen hanging out once and never again.

We said it was just goodbye for now.

I think Louis/Harry and Taylor/Karlie were always planning to come out at the same time, but that coming out schedule kept getting postponed.

You said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Words from the mouth of babes

Promises oceans deep

But never to keep

Never to keep

It’s the same ol’ shit, just different days. The anxious anticipation and fear of consequences for when they finally come out feel oceans deep. They can’t get rid of it. But they still can’t commit to it 100% either. All they could do was making promises after promises with blatant Easter eggs like Harry running around with rainbow flags on stage, Louis wearing a giant golden H on his chest for his livestream during COVID-19 lockdown, Taylor’s entire Lover era. The list goes on and on.

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn.

I’m gonna let the burning of Lover house in the Eras tour speak for itself. Their plan to come out was a failure time and time again.

As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return.

As Taylor kept switching out these Kens, while stuck in the same ol’ closet, she still hoped Louis won’t give up on their plan.

Well, here’s Louis in Just Like You aka the song he announced on National Coming Out Day saying: 25 and it’s all planned.

Did that plan include dropping his album Walls with Come so far from Princess Park & For every question why, you were my because on the last day that Harry was 25 years old? Because that happened.

And here’s Taylor in Lover for Death By A Thousand Cuts: Paper cuts sting from our paper thin plans.

Did that paper thin plan include Taylor releasing ME! on Lesbian’s Visibility Day? Because that happened.

Soon we will see the reason why Taylor would be asking for forgiveness from Louis. But let’s see first what she was hoping for and didn’t get.

With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned.

Remember Cloud lyrics from 1D: Some days you’re gonna see the things that I see… Never coming back down.

And from Louis’s Walls in We Made It: Never coming down with your hand in mine.

Because the thing about We Made It, is Louis still had to throw in a line for his girlfriend Eleanor. Yes, Harry and Louis made it. But they’re still stuck in the closet, anyway.

'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

This is when I realize that Taylor has been tracing the stepping stones, starting from most recent events and making her way back to the start in a non-linear manner. Well, she certainly did called this album a post-mortem study. But exactly whose death are we mourning in this particular song right here?

And you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired

Lost to the "Lost Boys" chapter of your life

Remember Harry’s “Not That Important”? Or all the Rainbow Bondage Bear and Sugar Baby Bear RBB/SBB shenanigans? Louis and Harry were throwing themselves at the closet door, banging against it and making such loud noises. They wanted so badly to show the world that they’re together while still in the band. That fantasy was one hell of a drug. Especially after Zayn left and they felt like they’ve got nothing left to lose. That was, until Belfast (where a Victorian-styles woodvale park is located, remember that not-an-Easter-Egg-I-promise! in Taylor’s hide-and-seek edition of folklore? Uh huh.) and babygate caged them into ironclad closet. But it wasn’t only just those events and One Direction going on hiatus that ensured Louis was completely and utterly lost.

Louis was trying so hard to make everyone sees that he’s not the father. He was so, so loud about it. So loud that it’s still causing troubles every time he brings up Freddie TODAY. Way too loud to ever be shut down, basically.

Louis was doing everything he could to leave the closet. But in December 2016, he lost his mom and turned twenty-five.

How could anyone expect a grieving boy to have another fight left in him?

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold on (hold on) to the days (to the days) when you were mine.

Louis performed Just Hold On for the first time only days after his mom passing. In front of the person who made damn sure he couldn’t be himself under the spotlight. It’s a testament to his strength and I will never stop admiring his resilience. And although Taylor didn’t come through with their coming out plan, someone else made sure to have done the leg work.

Before her passing, Johannah, Louis’s mother, took the time to delete all of Freddie pictures off of her instagram, two weeks after she told Louis that she had terminal cancer.

(How do I know this? Well, it’s a hindsight is 20/20 thing. When Jay did that, fans had no clue she was sick and dying.

Years later, Louis talked about his mom breaking the bad news when he was at Jamie Vardy’s wedding.

And that wedding happened a fortnight before Jay removed all of Freddie pictures.)

Louis’s mom took out the rose thorns and made damn sure her baby boy could walk down their memory lane with the least pain possible. Louis had a great mom who taught him how to get through the darkest nights.

And though it’s not acknowledged so publicly, Louis has had Harry by his side all this time. I don’t think Louis ever needed an apology from Taylor just because they couldn’t complete their plan to come out/“Speak Now” in time for his mom to hear it, too.

Regardless, it’s possible that Taylor still felt really, really shitty for failing to execute their coming out plan as grief-stricken Louis ran out of time. By the time her scathing reputation prologue letter came around (as if inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test), it seemed Louis was in too deep with the conspiracy from One Direction days to ever be rid of it now. Quite literally lost to the lost boys chapter of his life

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

And I’m not gonna lie, the sudden reappearance of present tense in descriptive lyrics here gave me a jolt of anxiety. Taylor already released Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) in which she repeated “So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on. Wish I’d never grow up.”

See, if we’re sticking with the original story of Peter Pan, Wendy grew up and Peter Pan didn’t. But in this version of the story, our Peter Pan aka Louis had been through such grief that pushed him to grow up first. He’s actually the one waiting now. Wendy aka Taylor had been playing catch up. (Fuck 🛴 for that.) Hence, this present tense about the woman who has turned out the light is the continuation of wait for the signal and I’ll meet you after dark.

By the way, how does the intro sequence of The Eras Tour go again?

It’s been a long time coming. It’s you and me. It’s Fearless. Big reputation. And they said Speak Now. Into folklore. My name is Taylor and I was born in 1989. Hey! evermore. Loving him was red. Meet me at midnight. Nice! Lover.

It’s you and me that’s my whole world. They whisper in the hallway she’s a bad, bad girl.

Taylor started her Eras Tour with Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince. The song I believe was written to Louis from Harry’s perspective. “You know I adore you. I’m crazier for you than I was at sixteen.” Corresponding nicely with the song 18 that one of her best friends, Ed Sheeran, wrote for One Direction. The one Louis used to sing as “I have loved him since we were eighteen.” And Harry immediately followed up by screaming “Sixteen!” at the crowd.

You said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Said you were gonna grow up

You said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Said you were gonna grow up

This set of repeating chorus above isn’t the same as the other ones before. Can you spot the difference? Here’s the rest of the chorus that actually looks the same as the ones in the beginning.

You said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Both contain six lines, but I assure you, there are differences. The order changed. The last line changed. Devil’s in the details.

Words from the mouths of babes

Here’s the most surreal experience for me as someone who read too much between the lines. In Louis’s own documentary All Of Those Voices, out of all the song he has written, this is the one he chose to play as an opening segment for Freddie, aka his son who is arguably the most controversial and divisive topic in his fandom: Angels Fly.

This is a song about helping someone process grief, from someone who’s already been there before.

In hindsight, Louis’s babygate was a boon of sort. A blessing in disguise, if you will. Fans were so busy tearing this paternity narrative apart. Louis was able to keep quiet about the actual tragedy he was facing. Whatever drama Louis needed to keep his name on the papers, Freddie’s family helped provide it in spade. He was allowed to carve out truly private time to prepare for the inevitable. And when the news of his mom’s sickness broke, Harry was the one who got papped near the hospital that she was staying at. He took that publicity burden off of Louis’s shoulder. If that action did not speak of Harry’s immeasurable love for Louis, I don’t know what else will.

Promises oceans deep

Remember how Taylor almost had to go through the same thing Louis did? With her mom’s diagnosis? On my very first listen of Peter, I felt the same gut-punch of grief as when I heard her Soon You’ll Get Better, or Ronan, or Louis’s Two of Us. It’s the worst kind of heartbreak to recognize. And it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, that pain is edged oceans deep into your soul.

But never to keep

Fortunately, with time, anyone who has experienced such great loss will begin to realize that grief has ebb and flow, like ocean waves. You learned to live with the pain. You start to see silver linings. Maybe you quantify this grief with the size of the moon. So you build a galaxy around it and the eclipse doesn’t seem so daunting anymore.

TL;DR

I think Taylor is 1) apologizing to Louis for postponing their coming out plan over and over again, 2) acknowledging that the fear of consequences for coming out is nothing compared to the grief of losing your loved ones forever, and 3) confirming the plan to come out. Sure, words from the mouths of babes, promises oceans deep but never to keep. However, they’re both grownups now. So remember:

Wait for the signal and I’ll meet you after dark.

And now:

The woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

Hello, darkness my old friend 👋

Most importantly, Taylor worships Goddess Karlie, byeeeeee.

[path-of-my-childhood]

Aaron Dessner Talks Taylor Swift’s New Album folklore

By: Sam Sodomsky for Pitchfork Date: July 24th 2020

Like millions of people across the world, Taylor Swift spent the past few months in isolation, stuck at home, changing plans, reflecting on the past, and imagining new connections. One of those new connections was with Aaron Dessner, the multi-instrumentalist and producer from the National.

On release day, he called us from his home in the Hudson Valley to speak about their entirely virtual but highly collaborative process, sounding just as surprised as anyone. “Nobody needs to tell Taylor Swift how to write a song - and I certainly didn’t,” he says with a laugh. “But it did feel like we were going toe-to-toe pushing each other.”

What is your personal relationship with Taylor Swift’s music? I’ve always admired her craftsmanship and talent. But 1989 was the first one I was really listening to as a fan. My brother [Bryce Dessner, guitarist in the National] and I were in Iceland with [performance artist] Ragnar Kjartansson, and he’s a total Swiftie. It was the summer of 1989, and we’d be hanging out listening to it loud. Ragnar is an art historian, so he was just contextualizing every moment. It was a lot of fun. That’s when we became bigger fans.

When did you actually meet her for the first time? We met her at Saturday Night Live in 2014 when Lena Dunham was hosting. And then she came to see us play last summer in Prospect Park during this crazy torrential downpour. She was there with Antoni [Porowski] from Queer Eye. She talked a lot with my brother and me. That’s when we realized how much of a fan she was, and how lovely and down to earth. I don’t know that many people who have that sort of success, so it’s a nice feeling to realize they’re cool. That left a good impression.

She got in touch again at the end of April. I got a text and it said, “Hey it’s Taylor. Would you ever be up for writing songs with me?” I said, “Wow. Of course.” It was a product of this time. Everything we had planned got cancelled. Everything she had planned got cancelled. It was a time when the ideas in the back of your head came to the front. That’s how it started.

You ended up with a credit on 11 of the 16 songs. How did the collaboration get going? At the very beginning of March, Justin Vernon and I had gone to Texas to work on the new Big Red Machine album. I had been living with my family in France as COVID was starting to spiral out of control in Europe. I said to my wife that maybe they should come back to the States with me because I was worried about getting separated. So we got tickets, and my kids and wife flew to [the family’s home in] Upstate New York and I flew to Texas. I was there for a week, and by the time I got back Upstate, the borders were being shut and we got stuck. I have the Long Pond studio here, so in a way it was lucky.

I hunkered down here and started to write a ton of music - more than I ever have. I thought maybe they were National or Big Red Machine ideas or maybe something totally different. Things were happening.

So when [Taylor] reached out, I had this large folder of ideas that were pretty well on their way. She was very clear that she didn’t want me to edit any of my ideas; she wanted to hear everything that was interesting to me at this moment, including really odd, experimental noise. So I made a folder of stuff, including some pretty out-there sketches. A few hours later, she sent “Cardigan,” fully written in a voice memo. That’s when I realized that this was unusual—just the focus and clarity of her ideas. It was pretty astonishing. Over the next couple months, this would just happen; all of a sudden, I’d get a voice memo. And then another. Eventually, it was so inspiring that I wrote more ideas that were specifically in response to what she was writing.

When did it occur to you that an album was forming? There were moments when we started to reflect on what we were doing. The first three songs we wrote were “Cardigan,” “Seven,” and “Peace.” “Cardigan” is probably the closest to a pop song on the record—it’s this epic narrative. And then “Seven” was this nostalgic, wistful, emotional folk song. And then when she wrote “Peace,” I realized she can do anything! She is so versatile. It’s just a harmonized bassline with a pulse and a drone, and she basically wrote a Joni Mitchell love song to it. She only did one vocal take, and that’s what’s on the record.

Were you communicating through the whole process? Yeah. We were pretty much in touch daily for three or four months by text and phone calls. Some of it was about production and restructuring things but a lot of it was just excitement. We both felt that this was some of the best work we have done. That was a strange and surreal thing to have happen, especially at this time.

At one point I was randomly doxxed by right-wing conspiracy theorists who misidentified me as an Antifa organizer in Ohio, long story, but it was in the middle of all this work. I didn’t want to stress her out so I didn’t tell her. But at some point she laughed and said, “So you’re a notorious anarchist?” And I’m like, “Yeah, I was gonna mention that."

How did the collaboration with Bon Iver on “Exile” come about? Taylor wrote that one with the singer-songwriter William Bowery. When Taylor sent it to me as a voice memo, she sang both the male and female parts - as much as she could fit in without losing her breath. We talked about who she was imagining joining her, and she loves Justin [Vernon]’s voice in Bon Iver and Big Red Machine. She was like, “Oh my god, I would die if he would do it. It would be so perfect.” I didn’t want to put pressure on Justin as his friend, so I said, “Well, it depends on if he’s inspired by the song but I know he thinks you’re rad.” Which he does.

So I sent him the song and he was really into it. He tweaked some parts and added parts as well - the bridge where he says, “Step right out.” The end too, and his choral parts. It was fun because Justin and I work on a lot of stuff together, so it was very easy and natural. At some point I felt like a superfan, hearing two of my favorite singers. This was all being done remotely, but it was one of those moments where your head hits the back of the wall and you’re like, “Fuck. Okay.”

There is some fan debate over William Bowery’s identity - I’m not familiar with him. I’m not either. I haven’t actually met him because of social distancing, which is kind of funny. I think he’s a friend.

Did you feel the pressure of working with an artist at Taylor Swift’s level? I tried hard not to think about the scope or scale of making a record that would be heard by millions and millions of people. I did a pretty good job of tuning that out. Music for me is an emotional necessity. It’s therapy. It’s what I live and breathe. All these songs are things I was working on already, and we both felt there was some serendipity in the fact that we ended up in this situation together. I just stayed focused on that, on making this as good as we can.

As the release got closer, I almost thought it wouldn’t happen. Or maybe I just told myself that! The National guys will tell you the same thing - I tend to work until the last possible minute. I didn’t really have a moment to be like, “Holy shit! People are gonna hear this.” We were joking about it last night. I said, “So this actually happened?” And she goes, “Yep!”

What was it like working under total secrecy? There was no outside influence at all. In fact, nobody knew, including her label, until hours before it was launched. For someone who’s been in this glaring spotlight for 15 years, it’s really liberating to have some privacy and work on her own terms. She deserves that. At times, if I wanted friends to play on the record, it was a little difficult because you can’t send a file with her vocals. But everyone was cool. At the end, I reached out to some wizards just to add bits, and that was nice. It was kind of fun: “What? Why can’t you tell me, Aaron?” Then they start guessing. Everyone made a game out of it.

Is there any music that was left on the cutting room floor? There are things I feel could still be songs. It does feel like an ongoing collaboration. Now Taylor is starting to help with other things. We’re bouncing other ideas off each other, whether it’s Big Red Machine or other things. There’s a community aspect. I think that’s how music should be.

[ts1989fanatic]

The Guide to Getting into Taylor Swift

With the country-turned-pop star's music on Spotify, it's time to cut all your shirts into crop tops and become a Swiftie.

Wow! You're finally open to becoming a Swiftie! Perhaps you're a casual listener and you found your bum wiggling to "Shake It Off" at the grocery store. Perhaps you're that nostalgic person who always sings "Our Song" at karaoke because it reminds you of more innocent times. Perhaps you're a even hardcore hater. Who cares! You're here now.

So what did it take? Her endless charm? Her enviable songwriting talents? Her clever business sense? Or is it because Taylor Swift's entire catalogue just went up on Spotify for free.99? What a cheapskate!

Besides the fact that you can now listen to Taylor Swift without having to navigate her battles with the streaming industry, this is the perfect time to start listening to her music, even if you skipped out on the past five albums. We're currently in the calm before Swift's storm – the time when she's conjuring up a new album that may defy any expectations we have about the country-turned-pop star. Before she inevitably returns to the tabloids, there's a chance to get to know the artist whose work earned that fame, the singer who, at 14, prompted label boss Scott Borchetta of Big Machine to take her on, writing in his notes, "This could be your Mick Jagger." Taylor's fans have long known her as someone who can weave fairytales into everyday life and pastoral romanticism into a regular school day, who can detail relationships with piercing honesty. That kind of music inspires devotion, and this is your chance to feel it.

So, before you dig in, you'll need a Taylor Swift starter pack. Cut all your shirts into crop tops. Write Joni Mitchell lyrics on your arm. Adopt a Scottish fold and name it after a Grey's Anatomy character. Start calling the paparazzi before leaving the apartment. Show up at your friends' houses unexpectedly, offering them Christmas gifts and wondering why they don't cry tears of joy at the mere sight of you. At the very least, join an online forum to talk about her fandom when it hits. Start yearning for Taylor's old country days even though you hate country music! Send a Swift song to your ex instead of messy blocks of texts. Quote her lyrics in therapy. Invest in some quality scarlet-hued lipstick (Nars' Dragon Girl is a decent choice.)

And if you need some help with different entry points into her music, I've got you. Below, there are five options for getting into Taylor Swift. Pick the section that best suits your soul.

So, as Taylor's best friend Selena Gomez (you should know that too) says, if you're ready, come and get it.

So You Want to Get Into: Kiss-Off Bop Taylor Swift?

OK, so you want to get into the feisty side of Taylor Swift. Great choice. Alongside her songs about love, heartbreak, her first day of high school, her mom and Lena Dunham (it's true – "You Are In Love" is about her), there are angsty ditties that take her foes and pie them in the face like the true dunces that they are. This might be the side of Swift you're most familiar with lately, as her feud with Katy Perry has made the 12,000th headline and we're meant to believe that Taylor is on a warpath to punish all her enemies. However, Swift is just like any of us: If she's wronged, she feels a little jaded. And despite serving as a role model to her listeners, she experiences anger like anyone else. But most of us don't have the talent to write songs about them.

Taylor's kiss-off anthems started with "Picture to Burn" (perhaps her best song to this day?), off her debut, self-titled album in 2006, released when she was just 16. "Picture to Burn" has Swift expressing pent-up G-rated aggression with a twang (this is back when she still had a Southern accent, and it's endearing as fuck). She goes one shot under pulling a Carrie Underwood and disses her ex-boyfriend's truck; she threatens to sic her dad on him; she calls him a "redneck." There are all sorts of killer lines in the track ("There's nothing stopping me from going out with alllll of yer best frans!"), but this one's the most poetic and charged: "So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time / As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn." Don't be thrown off by the flutter of banjo and down-home guitars that sound like they're out of a muddy Ford commercial – let the country sound sink in and guide you to revenge.

Since then, Taylor's had dozens of songs that ward off sour critics and ex-boyfriends. Her third album in particular, 2010's Speak Now, is chock full of them. On "Mean" she sheds off her haters who are "Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things / Drunk and rambling' on about how I can't sing / But all you are is mean." Then she piles it on, calling them "And a liar / And pathetic / And alone in life." Meanwhile, she maintains sweet, kill-em-with-kindness disposition: You'll be glad you never cared about that loser anyway! This side of Taylor is best enjoyed if you like looking cute while rolling your eyes.

Of course, there's "Bad Blood," which, if you pay just a speck of attention to pop culture, you know is about a petty pop star argument. And there's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," which is supposed to send a message to a guy trying to slide back into a relationship – although it comes off more as a mantra for Taylor to chant when she's about to let him back in again. And there's the slightly problematic "Better Than Revenge," where she blasts a girl who's known for her "talents on a mattress."

So if you've been wronged, don't pick up a baseball bat; yank out yer fake country accent and a Zippo, and start lighting stuff on fire!

So You Want to Get Into: Take My Heart And Run It Over With A Rusty Pickup Truck Taylor Swift?

If you've chosen to get into Heartbreak Taylor, you're probably the type who needs time to fully soak into your sadness when you're going through something. You absorb other people's heartbreak too. As a Sagittarius, Taylor is one of these people. (I know nothing about astrology, but I figured you might?)

The beauty about Taylor Swift is that she makes her songs vague enough to where you can imagine yourself in the song – yet she drops in just enough little details so you know the story in the song is hers. It's so easy to apply any of her songs to your life without forgetting her own drama.

Swift's romantic life has been easily mocked for a good ten years now, a topic she satirized in 2014 with "Blank Space" (but more on that later). From age 16 to now, age 27, we've known all of her boyfriends… and by the details she adds in her songs, you can tell which boyfriends inspired which songs: Joe Jonas ("Forever & Always"), Taylor Lautner ("Back to December"), John Mayer ("Dear John"), Harry Styles ("Out of the Woods), etc. By knowing the very real dudes behind the tracks and their very real relationships, Swift songs play out more like movies, where you can envision these celebrities going through the same breakup you might have with your partner. Perhaps the most heartbreaking of these songs is "All Too Well," a song clearly about Jake Gyllenhaal, with references to Swift's scarf, which he was photographed wearing after their breakup.

Red's "All Too Well," like most of Swift's songs about breakups, is crushing. Raise your hand if you've ever met your partner's parents and they start reminiscing about when they were a little kid: "You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me." Or if you've gotten stuck wallowing and it felt like you'd never be happy again: "Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralysed by it / I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it." Or if your ex called you just for old times' sake, just as you were starting to move on: "Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise / So casually cruel in the name of being honest." You remember it all too well.

There's something about Swift's sad songs that are like a film you can revisit over and over again, pulling tears from your eyes as if you're experiencing heartbreak for the first time. And it's not just heartbreak – it's grief in general. When you're exploring your way around these gut wrenching songs, don't forget "Ronan," a charity single written for the mom of a child who died of cancer just days before his fourth birthday (that one, unfortunately, is not part of her return to streaming). And "Never Grow Up," which will have you wanting to crawl back into your mom's arms.

Either way, it's best to listen to these when you're alone.

So You Want to Get Into: Fairytale Wedding Day Taylor Swift?

Ready to fall in love, you hopeless romantic? Read up on your Romeo and Juliet. Brush up on Rapunzel. Fall madly in love with the guy who's waiting tables at your favourite cafe. Go all in. Take risks. Ask that guy on a date. Ignore what anyone else says. Go head over heels. Get married (the guy has to propose on one knee and ask your dad for permission, of course). Have babies. Grow old together. Love is a fairytale!!!!!!

Taylor's very aware of her idealistic view on love ("Stupid girl, I should've known / I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale," she sings on "White Horse"), especially earlier on in her catalogue. You won't find her singing about dancing in the rain with her angelic-faced crush in her latest album, 1989, or anything in the future, but teenaged Taylor wrote the best love songs back in the day. She's either chasing highs or sinking into lows, and with mythical metaphors abound, she explains that sparkling feeling of falling in love.

You've come to the right place if you're looking for a song to dance to at your wedding. Imagine twinkly lights and barefeet as you twirl around the floor to 2006's "Mary's Song," which follows a seven-year-old girl and her nine-year-old beau as they grow up and get married. Or maybe you want dozens of photos of your family floating from clothesline at your barn wedding, soundtracking the moment with the voracity of 2010's "Mine." Or maybe you're under the moonlight, letting your vintage dress sweep over dewy grass as you dance with your hearts pressed together to "Enchanted."

Swift's love songs give you faith that love can last a lifetime, that you can pull off a medieval princess dress and that kissing in the rain is more magical and euphoric than wet and cold. Even if Prince Charming will never come galloping around on his awkwardly endowed stallion, it's nice – if but for three and a half minutes – to dream.

So You Want to Get Into: Banjo and Fiddle Taylor Swift?

Taylor Swift made the same journey as Shania Twain when it's come to the crossing the country-to-pop bridge – except with Swift, it seems like she's left that bridge far, far behind. With the declaration that she was taking 2014's 1989 fully into pop territory, Swift hasn't looked back, reworking her old country hits when she plays them live and nearly ignoring her especially hoedown-oriented tunes. If you appreciate a good fiddle solo and snarky banjo, I urge you to start at the beginning of her discography.

The self-titled album is a mine of gold country nuggets with excellent lyricism from Swift and sharp production from Nathan Chapman (who had never produced an album until he met Taylor Swift when she was 14). Chapman adorned Swift's green soprano with a bevy of fiddle, which could cry during a song like "Tied Together With A Smile" or frolick with joy during "Our Song." Fiddle is the second singer on Taylor Swift. There's dobro too, etching its earthiness into songs, along with some sparse scatterings of mandolin.

And then there's pedal steel – completely absent after 2014's Red – which swoops in like mood swing, unexpected, yet totally called for. It yearns on "Teardrops on My Guitar," gives sassy support on "Picture to Burn," and calms a bubbling banjo on "The Outside."

Like Swift, who grew up on a Christmas tree farm in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania, before convincing her family to move to Nashville, you might have a small-town upbringing. And just the mere twang of a steel guitar may transcend you to fireflies and summer nights. If you're more familiar with Swift's more recent work, listening to her first album may seem like a novelty, but the progression across the five albums is organic, so don't feel jolted when you hear the rush of country instruments and the mention of country's prince, Tim McGraw, when you take her first bite of Taylor Swift.

Listen to country-era Swift – if not to conjure your own childhood memories, but to get a better understanding of where the pop star started from.

So You Want to Get Into: Storyteller Taylor Swift?

Sit down, music lover, and let Auntie Swift tell you a story. This one's a gripping tale about a girl who shows up at a fancy wedding, ready to interrupt everything and declare her love for the groom. The guy is obviously marrying the wrong woman, who's "wearing a gown shaped like a pastry." And although Taylor is not the kind of person to show up at a "white veil occasion," she, like the title of the 2010 song suggests, is compelled to "Speak Now."

I won't spoil the rest of the story for you, but as you enter the world of Swift for the first time, these storytelling songs might be your best entry point if you like a good narrative. These selections are perfect for long drives, when your mind wanders off the road. Ditch your Audible subscription (does anyone have Audible anyway?) and lean toward the Book of Swift instead. The first chapter dives into Taylor at three years old on "The Best Day," a song she wrote about her mom: "I run and run / Past the pumpkin patch / And the tractor rides / Look now, the sky is gold / I hug your legs / And fall asleep on the way home." The colours are vivid, the memories idyllic, and you can't help but miss your own mom a bit. Of course, some stories make you cry more than others, but with Taylor Swift, it's best to expect tears at all times.

Fast forward eight years to "Blank Space," where she's taken a wholly less innocent form – as a jet-setting maniser who steals her victims' hearts and tortures them with love games. "Saw you there and I thought / 'Oh my God, look at that face / You look like my next mistake'," she sings, as coy as a Black Widow looking for a mate. I won't spoil this one either, but let's just say that this story involves a pretty toxic web.

So, if you're in need of music that will hold you by your hand and take you through a journey, dive into "Love Story," a ditty about a young couple with disapproving parents, or "How You Get The Girl," a step-by-step tutorial on how to win your girlfriend back, or "Fifteen," a story about her friend Abigail's first year of high school, or "Mine," a song about a rando dude who turns into her husband. Whatever chapter you open the book of Taylor to, there's going to be a plot to keep you hooked.

Emilee Lindner was born on a metaphorical Christmas tree farm, and you can find her preaching the good word of Taylor on Twitter.

ts1989fanatic sorry that this so long a post but DAMN it’s worth the read, and I have to think the writer is a SWIFTIE she certainly understands the subject of her piece very well.

[thebibliophagist]

   Goodreads   Amazon

Emmy and Evan met at a wedding seven years ago.  What might have been never happened given their age difference and future plans, but neither Emmy nor Evan could seem to forget about each other.  Flash forward to the present, and Emmy is now Emerson Quinn, international superstar.  She’s the face of the Emerson Quinn machine, stuck in a constant cycle of press appearances and world tours, and she is absolutely sick of it.

Having just finished a ten-month world tour, her label is clamoring for the next album, and Emmy just isn’t feeling the neverending songwriting sessions with “middle-aged Swedish men" who crank out generic pop hit after generic pop hit.  She wants to go back to her roots and write this album herself, not stand idly by as somebody tells her what her next album will sound like.

For all her connections, Emmy can’t think of a single friend whose house she could escape to.  But then she thinks about the guy she met so many years ago, who believed in her and offered to do anything he could to help.  And before she can overthink it, she’s on Evan Winslow’s porch with her suitcase in hand, just hoping he won’t say no.

This is the first book I’ve read by Jenny Holiday, and I loved it!  Both Evan and Emmy felt like real people and I really appreciated that there was no over-the-top drama.  Emmy might be world famous, but she’s down-to-earth and legitimately just wants to stay out of the spotlight.

I got some serious Taylor Swift vibes while reading this book, which is totally fine with me -- I am a huge fan of hers.  A lot of things about Emmy reminded me of Taylor Swift.  There’s the blond hair and red lipstick, the singer-songwriter with songs about the details of everyday life, but the thing that reminded me most of Taylor Swift was the ex-boyfriends. Emmy gained a lot of popularity writing about her exes, and that means that the media blames her for all of her relationships gone wrong.  I really felt for Emmy and I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to live your life constantly vilified every time you have a breakup.  (As if breakups aren’t emotional enough.)

Anyway. I really liked Emmy.  But enough about her.  Let’s move on to Evan, who was just trying to get on with his life after a huge family scandal made him re-evaluate his plans.  Evan, who was just trying to get tenure as an art history professor so he could have some stability in his life.  Evan, who was just trying to blend into the background when his long-lost friend, internationally famous pop star Emerson Quinn, showed up unexpectedly at his front door.

There’s obviously a period of adjustment, but Evan welcomes Emmy after only a slight hiccup.  (I don’t even know if I’d react that well if my own family showed up on my doorstep, let alone someone I hadn’t seen in seven years.)  He’s just. so. nice.  He hangs out with his elderly neighbor.  He runs an arts program for teenagers.  He’s volunteered to coordinate an art show.  And he never gets frustrated at Emmy for trying to hide from the paparazzi or lacking basic human skills.

It was so refreshing to read a romance where the main characters actually treat each other well throughout the entirety of the book.  Even the big conflict is honestly just these characters wanting what’s best for each other!

If I had one criticism, it would just be that the push and pull really got to be too much for me.  I understand that it was Emmy’s Summer Of No Men and that Evan was trying to focus on his career, but they clearly wanted each other and I thought that the amount of effort they put into fighting their attraction was a bit excessive.  It started to feel less like a legitimate problem and more like angst for angst’s sake, which always frustrates me.

BUT, the sexual tension just about killed me, which is the sign of an author who knows what she’s doing with her characters.  (And is never a problem for me.)  It looks like Infamous, the second book in this series, will follow Emmy’s ex as he comes to grips with his attraction to pediatrician Hunter Wyatt.  After seeing what Holiday did with Famous, I can’t wait to read what comes next.

Final rating: ★★★★☆

I received a free ARC of Famous from the author (via Indie Sage PR) in exchange for an honest review.