#help both ritsuka and i

[dropintomanga]

Given - There's No Going Back and It's Going to be Okay

I finished the last arc of Natsuki Kizu's given and it's a testament on trying to move forward despite the anxieties you may face.

With Given potentially becoming a professional band, Ritsuka Uenoyama decides to help out a rival band called syh, led by Hiragi Kashima, as the latter wanted to perform a song that Mafuyu Sato's ex-boyfriend, Yuki Yoshida, wanted to do. Tension arises between Mafuyu and Uenoyama as both appear to be going in totally different directions, music-wise. Mafuyu appears to lose his voice, but Uenoyama invites him to a concert that syh is peforming at. Uenoyama is determined to channel what Yuki wanted to play before he died. Mafuyu is hesitant in attending the concert because he feels that things will change so much and relationships could be shattered.

He tells a now-rejuvenated Ugetsu Murata, who has become a better person after finally breaking up with Akihiko Kaji,

"I'm afraid we'll never be able to go back. When he talked to me about actually debuting, I was actually really, really happy. But if I choose music, I know I won't be able to turn my back on it again. Even if that means sacrificing love. And if I don't choose music, I know, no matter what, that I won't be able to face him exposed without it. I can see us breaking up either way. If I go to the concert now and listen to the music, I'll decide to either abandon music or our relationship. I know it'll drive me to a permanent decision.

Just like you had to choose between music and Kaji."

Ugetsu replies.

"If that's the issue, then you can't go back either way. Regardless of what you choose or don't choose, everything is going to change. Even this moment right now. There's no going back the way you came. Besides, choosing to stand in the same place is draining too.

So anyway, what I recommend is to go as far as you can!"

While Mafuyu continues to hesitate, Ugetsu goes on to say.

"Also Mafuyu, haven't you forgotten about his feelings? Before you go deciding everything on our own, maybe you should hear what he has to say.

But...you've given this a lot of thought on your own, Mafuyu. And that's pretty damn amazing."

Once at the concert, Mafuyu becomes scared, but once he sees that Uenoyama perform the song that Yuki helped wrote, he finally admits that he wants to sing and still be in love. Mafuyu didn't care anymore. With music, Mafuyu can always find a way to ease his grief and anxiety.

I know people talk about the point of no return when it comes to starting a relationship, but relationships often change drastically. I love the display of anxiety portrayed by Mafuyu. The person dealing with it often believes they're the only one who has to deal with it themselves. They don't try to talk to a supportive partner/friend about it because they're afraid of being criticized. They're not sure that they understand their concerns.

You never know until you ask. But the asking is always the hardest part. And the future is always scary.

But recently, I wonder how scary will the future actually be. Sometimes, people do say some outlandish things about how bad things can get. Yeah, it will be bad. And I believe that people are more resilient with the help of those around them. Just like Uenoyama being there for Mafuyu. Reading the final arc of given makes me realize how much people can be inspired to take on anything when people come together to do activities like create music.

We need those types of communal activities in a world that wants to devalue art and portray people as entirely cruel. Communal activities heal so much pain. Let the love for music remain, right?

What should be given is how loosely tied together we are all. We're all living with fears and anxieties. And we deserve to be given chances to hear compassionate words that recognize our innermost vulnerability and propel us to move forward with joy and no regret.

Change is inevitable, but suffering shouldn't be a given.

Also, what an incredible manga. given is such a wonderful series. I highly recommend reading all 9 volumes.

[mako-neexu]

dantes' self hatred for himself makes me sob and choke so bad its seriously hurting me...

you should never forget that the Avenger class are cursed existences of flame hardwired to feel hatred, loathing and revenge against the world that has betrayed them profusely. (those born of hatred speaks of love, those born of love speaks of hatred, those who know of love the most, the who know of pain the most) every single one of them are ghost liners that should absolutely not exist. its really sad... you're a man who found light at the end of the tunnel, but the world remembers you for the revenge you enacted. the loathing and intense feelings you felt that struck a chord into each person but once more, because of circumstances beyond your control, you are summoned as a flame that would burn you and those you love.

like filling your lungs with smoke, unable to breathe because of the class container's visceral impulse, but by 'obeying' it also staves away the ache and pain of being 'fire' incarnate.

Edmond Dantes (the man saved by love) and Edmond Dantes (the Avenger forcibly summoned without all of his qualities from his life as a human to kill an innocent soul, to be used and discarded for one purpose only) both needed to be killed and they are 'killed'. and its all for the sake of one person and one person only...he's come to love guda more all throughout the years, intensified further because he is a kind person through and through.

but he truly must hate himself immensely because of his very existence itself as fire, his initial purpose, his countless (this world and many more) failures to protect ritsuka, because he was punishing himself.

he killed 'himself' not only for fujimaru ritsuka's sake, but to also punish himself because he willingly also chose the path of revenge as the spirit origin where he was the revenge demon in paris. and if one must go on this path, they should know they would not reach the end of it and expect a happy ending.

i feel so sad... he kills the "people who loves guda" but for what? for what?! for the star he loves so much, but also because "they" feel undeserving as well for guda's love.

he feels he doesnt deserve it, and he loves his one and only comfort in this world (one and only! one and only! for a man of flame!!! who witnessed over different walks of life with his eyes and yet he only as ONE AND ONLY!!! comfort now in this existence of his!!!!!!!!!!!!) and so cant help but sacrifice the very soul that makes him up for one star's sake,

and it takes "lingering affection/regret" to viciously pick this decision but unwavering "flame of determination" to have the courage to rip his heart out, present it on a silver platter before fujimaru ritsuka and kill it in front of amber/bright blue eyes. its so mercilessly cruel and kind.crying so bad right now

[elstreem]

Some thoughts again about Ritsuka's character with regards to the conclusions Sion reached at the end of OC 1 -

Goes without saying, but spoilers for OC1, Paper Moon!

So throughout the chapter a running theme are characters questioning themselves due to their nature as Alter Egos - and the reveal of what aspect they embodied due to their nature as said Alter Egos. Everyone is affected, with even the likes of Rani, Durga, Sion and Kama turning out to be Alter Egos - which raises the question, was Ritsuka an Alter Ego too, and if so, what aspect of them got embodied in Paper Moon?

Sion thinks it over at the end of the event, ang gives some possible answers, but before I discuss what she said - I do think it's very significant that throughout Paper Moon, Ritsuka is constantly plagued by the victimization of the Rani AIs, for one thing.

It was enough to make them wake up in cold sweat and was vitally important enough that Ritsuka actually talks about it in dialogue clearly, with no input from us players. I think there's something very crucial in these lines especially, "I want to be very clear about that now. To who? To myself. Who else?"

Ritsuka also reacts with outright horror when Makiri Zolgen blows up the type T AIs:

The first option is simply to comment on the horror of it all, but it twists my heart so much that the 2nd reaction Ritsuka has is "I...I can't...!" And it's obvious from both dialogue choices aimed at Makiri that Ritsuka is so very angry.

And later again, Ritsuka is given voice to muse over what they had seen so far:

So, given all these moments where Ritsuka speaks for themselves, there is also a general theme to their time at Paper Moon: 1) the refusal to look away from the horror and 2)to acknowledge cruelty where it happens and condemn it, and to never use the same means themselves and 3)the resolve to look more closely, and see the truth of the world.

While I was playing through this chapter and more reveals occurred about what Alter Ego each character was, my first thought was Ritsuka being an Alter Ego of Compassion or something similar, with just how much they refuse to let the Rani AIs become victims. Their compulsion to help is also rooted in their deeper trauma of being unable to help Olga Marie (and TWICE now at this point in the story, with Olga Marie's original death in the prologue and U-Olga Marie's sacrifice in the 7th LB).

But reviewing all these moments, I now wonder if Ritsuka in Paper Moon is some sort of an Alter Ego of Truth - there's something significant in the emphasis on Ritsuka's sentiment to never look away and the resolve to look at the bigger underlying issues of Paper Moon.

Within the game, however, Sion does muse about this, since she's the only one to consciously remember the events

As an aside, while I am glad Ritsuka doesn't have to lie awake thinking about Caster slaughtering Rani AIs, I am also. Kinda miffed that canonically they have no recollection of all of this. Less trauma overall I guess, but it feels cheap to take those memories away from Ritsuka.

Anyway, onto Sion:

Her first conclusion is, Ritsuka in Paper Moon was an Alter Ego embodying a Ritsuka tired of fighting - which is great in one sense, since it means Ritsuka would still be capable of living a normal life after all this, though as Sion noted, it's worrying that if so, Ritsuka can still push themselves to continue fighting, but concludes by saying at this point, Ritsuka should keep seeing a therapist.

Which...huh. Canonically confirms Ritsuka has been seeing a therapist, thank goodness, but there's probably only so much that can do what with all...*waves hand at everything in LB 6, the ORT fight* that.

The 2nd possibility was Ritsuka manifesting as an Alter Ego Master in the sense that they weren't in charge of saving the world, but even Sion dismisses it, and I do also find it unlikely. I mean, when Kali was destroying the world by tearing up the dance floor, it was Ritsuka and Kama who put a stop to it, so saving the world is still very much Ritsuka's role in Paper Moon.

Finally, the last possibility is Ritsuka was the only one NOT to be an Alter Ego, and was simply pulled in by virtue of being an actual Master. Which, I suppose, lines up with the fact Ritsuka never once questions who they are in Paper Moon.

So the game leaves it in the air whether or not Ritsuka was also an Alter Ego - personally I do lean into what I mentioned, but there's also some sense in Ritsuka not being an Alter Ego in the end.

Still, I think this chapter lays a lot of groundwork for OC2 delving deeper into Ritsuka's psyche with their possible darker impulses - because what does it mean, to never look away, Fujimaru Ritsuka? How much more of violence and pain can you take before you snap and enact violence yourself?

Tl;dr I love Fujimaru Ritsuka as a character and I'm both dreading the angst in OC2 and looking forward to seeing more of what makes my Gudas tick.

[dumb-but-happy-trist]

Uhm

Mash helps Ritsuka/Gudako/Firefly with work(or smth) after she nearly passes out from overwork

(apologies if it wasn't that good of a prompt, I tried to give one not too weird or stupid, and I know your familiar with both so I chose this prompt)

I love this prompt. I’m gonna do it post part two.

Context : Gudako has spent the whole day doing paperwork to hire new recruits.

Ever since coming back to Antarctica, there had been no end to the paperwork, and Gudako hasn’t truly rested for a week. It’s now 11pm and her eyes stay closed longer each time she blinks.

Gudako, slurring her words : Oh god this is taking too long…

Meanwhile, Mash is doing rounds. She has been restless for the last week and everyday, Gudako’s room was locked. However this time, the recent lack of sleep has gotten to Gudako who hasn’t locked her room.

Mash knocks at Gudako’s door.

Mash : Senpai? Are you awake?

Gudako doesn’t answer with anything other than a groan. Mash opens the door and finds Gudako on the verge of passing out. She rushes towards her girlfriend.

Mash : Oh my god senpai are you okay?

Gudako : Yeah ‘m fine…

She catches herself right before hitting her desk.

Gudako : mostly…

Mash : I’ll help you finish the paperwork and then we’ll go to bed okay?

Gudako : No… it’s my responsibility…

Mash : Yes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help.

Gudako : But-

Mash : No buts or else you’re going to sleep now.

Gudako : fffffffffiiine, you can help…

Mash : Great!

They spend half an hour finishing up the paperwork and then they go to sleep.

They wouldn’t wake up before 10am, and this was the best sleep Gudako had in a while.

[essayist-unexpectedly]

Hi, I absolutely love your analysis about couples in Given. There is one question that I had asked some people: which boyfriend Mafuyu loves the most. Everyone has their answer and it’s truly fascinating how diverse those answers are.

The reason that I am curious is because the Anime and Manga really give Yuki a lot of songs and Mafuyu always thinks of him in a lot of things he does with Ritsuka. There isn’t one song about his feeling to him, and it’s a little irritating😑

hi! first and foremost, thank you for the ask! and I'm so glad you enjoy my analysis!

great question - I can only answer in a non-answer though. I don't think that you can gauge that within the material of Given - and I really don't think you should even try. like seriously, hear me out here - I can definitely explain why.

the first and more important point is that while Mafuyu loves both Yuki and Uenoyama, they have extremely different relationships.

Yuki and Mafuyu were childhood friends to lovers with a codependent dynamic. they were deeply engraved in each others minds because at a basic survival level - they had each other more than they had anyone else. they were the ones constantly together because of being latchkey kids, Yuki helped Mafuyu get away from his dad, Mafuyu was Yuki's anchor in life. they were more than just partners in love and life, but with that came the codependency. and honestly? they lose points for it. their codependency put up barriers between them. Mafuyu lost his voice in that relationship while Yuki threw himself into music because he finally found another thing that made him happy. they fractured under that perfect standard because they couldn't actually communicate. the dynamic (and history) of Yuki and Mafuyu is built of years of knowing each other and being consistently in each others lives and minds.

Uenoyama and Mafuyu are a much newer and healthier relationship. the duo meet, they learn how to communicate, and while they almost lose that skill, they learn to push through it. that's the basics of it, without the complexity of Mafuyu's grief. Uenoyama and Mafuyu have more learning to do, and it actually helps them. it's a large part of why Mafuyu falls for Uenoyama, the whole of the learning about a new person and being learned about. they don't know each other at all before the start of the mange/anime, it's pure coincidence that they meet and get to know each other. it's persistence on Mafuyu's half and Uenoyama's inability to resist Mafuyu's sparkly eyes that they actually continue to get to know each other. they build the foundations of their relationship as they also grow to know each other, and it shows. again, Uenoyama and Mafuyu are healthier and it's definitely thanks to the fact that they build ground up and have to develop together.

so, these dynamics are super different - and therefore important to consider during the 'who does Mafuyu love more' question. personally, I don't think that these dynamics are very comparable. Yuki was based on years of only fully relying on each other and loving each other, while Uenoyama was a faster built bond and foundation after learning with each other.

these dynamics also lead to different kinds of love. the love between Yuki and Mafuyu was codependent, it was an obsessive love in a way - a need between the two of them. Uenoyama and Mafuyu have a newer love - not honeymoon by the end of the series, but more secure with each other. Yuki and Mafuyu needed to be with each other constantly, Uenoyama and Mafuyu can be apart so long as they still make an effort.

the other thing - the songs. I think that it's a matter of Mafuyu needs to write songs for Yuki, but he gets to write songs with Uenoyama

the thing is, Mafuyu's songwriting is all about his moving forward in his grief. that grief is because of the loss of Yuki. while alive, Yuki wanted to write for Mafuyu. now that Yuki is dead, Mafuyu longs to write for him. for both of them, I think it's a way to immortalize their love - but different kinds of love. for Yuki, he wanted to capture the way he and Mafuyu were consumed by each other, how he couldn't live without the other. Mafuyu aims to capture the feeling of grief after the loss of that kind of love. Mafuyu writing songs for Yuki is a coping mechanism, it's a promise to remember but also to move on.

also, these aren't love songs - not really. Mafuyu does sing of past love but it's more so focused on the struggle of moving on. he isn't singing about currently loving Yuki, he's singing about the struggle of the abrupt ending to that love. in a way, it's a breakup song rather than a love song. but even then, his songs are neither love nor breakup because those aren't apt descriptors for the grief over death that he sings of. it's important to make the distinction between love song - breakup song - and a song of grief, which is what Mafuyu sings.

so while yeah, Mafuyu writes music for Yuki, he isn't actively writing love songs. he's writing songs to explain and vent out his grief, which he wasn't able to do previously.

as for why he doesn't write a song about Uenoyama? he doesn't need to. Uenoyama is current, he is there, and they can write together. they show themselves to be a bit of a dream team - Mafuyu can do lyrics and melody, Uenoyama can do all of the complexities within the songs. Mafuyu always longed to write music, Hiiragi reveals that about him, and now he can do it with Uenoyama. it creates a deeper bond between them than if Mafuyu were to write music for or about Uenoyama. between them, it's a bonding experience, it's a way to express their love.

Uenoyama doesn't need songs written about him, just like Mafuyu doesn't. rather, what they need it that quality time and the ability to work together, to communicate, which is what the song writing process does for them.

also, Uenoyama himself isn't bitter about the songs they play being about Mafuyu's grief about Yuki. rather, Uenoyama is always incredibly supportive to Mafuyu because he sees how much that loss has hurt him. he doesn't expect a song to be written for him and he doesn't actually need it. he's happy to be with Mafuyu in the moment and to write with him.

so while some may see Mafuyu writing about Yuki as so romantic and him being stuck on him, that's not all it is. his songs are about him moving forward, about how he feels shattered, but knows he is still alive and will be able to make it through the grief. Mafuyu's songs are about grief, not active love. in contrast, the process of him writing with Uenoyama is romantic. it shows how they can openly communicate while creating music, how they're stronger because they can write together. the songs don't have to be about each other, because they know they love each other thanks to the bonding that comes with writing together.

anyways, yeah. I don't think that Mafuyu's love for Yuki and Uenoyama can be compared. and again, quite frankly - I don't think they should be either in terms of the "who did he love more?" question. the love and how it's expressed are different.

it's like trying to rank cats and dogs - both are house pets, but they're different species. Mafuyu dates both Yuki and Uenoyama, but he has very different development within those relationships.

and if I get to be really honest for a minute? I think comparing them and trying to say that Mafuyu loved one more than the other is disrespectful. it ignores the depth that Mafuyu has and the depth of Uenoyama and Yuki respectively. by ranking them by love, people often reduce the characters to a relationship and to the most basic traits and aspects of the relationships instead of looking at the intricacies put into both romances. by saying one relationship held more love than the other, the other relationship is degraded. it's looked down on - even if unintentionally. neither of these relationships should be looked down on like that as Mafuyu's love is deep and holds a lot of nuance. Mafuyu loved Yuki and he loves Uenoyama, he loves them differently but both of those loves are close to his heart when he exists within those relationships. it's not a competition, and if it was it would be a twisted one. I think that by saying Mafuyu loved one more than the other, the point of Given is missed. the point is to show how love can be born once again after the loss of someone you loved dearly. it's about how love and grief can coexist, and how love can help someone move forward in life.

I do apologize if that comes off as rude, but I really hate the Mafuyu/Yuki versus Mafuyu/Uenoyama debate. I don't think it shows an actual understanding of the story - at least of Mafuyu's arcs.

so yeah, thanks for the ask, I apologize for the complete non-answer I've just handed you. but I don't believe that the two couples can be ranked in terms of who Mafuyu loved more. I don't even bother trying to because I genuinely hate the whole debate - the loves for Yuki and Uenoyama are different even if both are romantic, and I find the debate ignores that.

I hope that this can like provide some insight on why not to say that Mafuyu has more love for one than the other, as much as that wasn't the question (sorry)

[simpknight]

May i request about Lancelot x Gudako in a whump/hurt comfort situation? 👉👈 (Lancelot was tired and injured after intense battle and Gudako helps him to recover by cleaning and dressing his injuries)

Thank you very much 🥺🙏💜🧡

Thank you so much for requesting (and sorry for taking so long)! You don't know how much I loved writing this prompt. Lancelot deserves so much love, but I also enjoy putting him in angsty scenarios 👀

As always, reader is referred to as “master” since I never use Gudako/Gudao/Ritsuka etc. (even if I use them as the “base” for my reader inserts) but I hope that's ok!

This time I wrote it in third person.

Warnings: Blood and injury, nothing too graphic tho

Words: 1100

When correcting minute singularities one must always stay on guard, the most insignificant mistake can be fatal.

Everyone is aware of that, and still they couldn’t help but to be overconfident about that mission. They only realized their mistake when they encountered a bunch of enemies that turned out to be stronger than they seemed. And when things go bad they can become much worse. 

In the middle of a fight, while Mash was desperately trying to block the enemies’ attacks the best she could, a simple miscalculation left her exposed to one of the creatures. She couldn’t react on time, but Lancelot rushed to her aid, being hurt in the process. 

His master, aware of the gravity of the wound, ordered him to fall back, a decision which the knight wasn’t too pleased with. He kept insisting he should be the one battling the enemies, that Mash needed to retreat and protect their master. Both, master and shielder, refused his request, Mash had enough stamina to keep fighting a while longer, that way Lancelot could take their master to a safe place. If the saber kept fighting, his death was certain, that wound would be his downfall. 

Swallowing his pride, the saber obeyed. He picked his master into his arms and fled to a secured zone, a cave well-hidden deep into the forest. Just as they entered, Lancelot collapsed in the ground, his master hurried to his aid, trying her best to sit him, back against the rocky walls of the cave. Part of his armor was shattered to pieces, it would not regenerate before returning to Chaldea. 

The servant tried to stay awake, being guided by his master’s voice. His sight was becoming clouded little by little; noises began to distort. Last he remembered before losing consciousness was the blurred image of Mash rushing into the cave.

He didn’t know how much time had passed since he collapsed, he opened his eyes slowly so they could gradually readjust. He could feel something pressing gently on his side, just where the injury was. Lancelot quickly recognized the feeling of his master’s delicate hands, she was probably doing her best to stop the hemorrhage. It was weak, but he could perceive a faint wave of healing magic. His master probably had to use a lot of mana to close the wound. It was hard to believe that he was still alive (or as alive as a servant can be), he was very lucky.

“Finally awake, huh?”

They glanced at each other, Lancelot noticed the bags under her eyes, her tired face seemed a bit pale. No wonder why her magic seemed so weak, who knows how long she had been casting that spell.

“You really scared us when you fainted, your wound was so deep I thought you wouldn’t make it… But I finally managed to heal it completely.” She talked fast, almost stumbling with her words, clearly she was still nervous from the shock. “Mash went to search for food, there were some fruit trees nearby so she shouldn’t take too long.”

“As I knight it is my duty to rescue damsels in distress, I wasn’t expecting it to be the other way round. I guess that as long as it’s you I could get used to it.” 

Lancelot chuckled at the sight of his master smiling faintly, yet he soon felt a sharp pain on his side. Noticing the worried look on his master's face he reassured her.

“It’s ok, I’m fine… I’ve been through worse so don’t panic.”

Lancelot took one of her hands to give her a gentle kiss. Seeing how it was covered in his dried blood he couldn’t help but think that a lady such as her shouldn’t be forced to stain her hands like that.

“You shouldn’t waste your magical power to save just one servant, you know that right?”

“Why would you say that so suddenly?” She frowned.

“I just want to remind you that you can always summon another heroic spirit to help you. This time everything came out good in the end, but you could have compromised the mission.”

“I know but…” She stopped, carefully thinking what to say “I know if something happened to you Mash wouldn’t forgive herself, not after you almost sacrificed yourself to save her.”

In the end, Lancelot was Galahad’s father, and that meant he was also a father figure for Mash, just as doctor Romani was.

“I know you worry about her, you are her best friend and you care about her deeply. However, I also know you didn’t do this just for her.”

The two of them stayed silent. Just for a moment, the only audible sound was the wind echoing in the cave’s walls. As much as she tried to hid it, Lancelot was certain that his master was taking decisions based on her own feelings instead of thinking rationally. A part of him was happy about that, after all that was one of the things he loved about her. However, he was also worried that it may cause problems in the long run for her.

“If you risk your life for a servant-”

“I know!” She screamed, fighting back the tears “I know my life is more important as a master… But you can’t ask me to stand still and do nothing when I can help. If anything happened to you I…”

She stopped mid-sentence to take a deep breath, trying to calm down. 

“As long as it's possible I will do anything to protect you, you have my word.”

He would be lying if he said it didn’t make him happy to hear that, shocking as that statement may be. Lancelot wiped her tears with a sad smile.

“You should stop stealing my lines, it’s a bit embarrassing. Please, don’t cry anymore, I can't bear to see your beautiful face like this.”

He leaned a bit to kiss her, stopping himself midway as he heard Mash’s rushed steps as she entered the cave. The shielder was happy to see him recovered, and encouraged him and the master of Chaldea to take some rest, insisting that she will keep watch for the night. The master refused at first, yet she soon felt all the exhaustion hit her like a train. She curled up next to the saber, letting her head rest on his shoulder, but she had a hard time falling asleep, opening her eyes from time to time to check on Lancelot. It wasn’t until she could hear him breathe deeply in his sleep that she could relax as well.

[versegm]

The Sun is dazzlingly hot on his bare skin, seemingly drilling all the way into his bones. With a sigh, Goredolf, heir of the Musik family, director of the prestigious Chaldea organisation, collapses under an umbrella with all the condensed dignity of a wet dog. But who could blame him? He is on vacations. This is his hot girl summer, and he's going to enjoy it as he sees fit.

Someone chuckles next to him. "Having fun, I see."

"Quite." He does sit up at the voice though, feeling the sand run off his back. "This was long overdue. I needed that."

"I'm glad you're taking care of yourself." The person responds. Then, ever so helpful, they bring a tray of drinks up to him. "Would you like a cocktail, perhaps?"

"Why, thank you." His mustache quivers as he smiles. He directs his gaze down to the tray; many colorful glasses stare back at him, each filled with the most inviting of colors. "Don't mind if I-"

He pauses.

The liquid in the glasses is trembling. The whole tray is trembling, in fact. Trembling in tandem with the hand holding it, fingers charred black.

"Director?" Ritsuka Fujimaru blinks down at him. "Is everything alright?"

Goredolf flinches.

"Director-"

"You cannot be here." He cuts them off. Frantically, he looks right, left. There is no one else on this beach. How has he not noticed? "You cannot be here. You are dead."

"Oh." Fujimaru, true to themself, reacts with an underwhelming amount of shock. "Am I?"

"Don't play with me!" Goredolf yells, scrambling up to his feet. "I saw you die. I- I saw them die. I don't know who you are, but-"

"Hey, hey! Calm down, Director." Fujimaru raises both hands palm up to placate him. "I know I'm not in my body right now, but I don't know if it's still. You know. Around."

It's... not. They never recovered the body. Though, that also means, they never confirmed the Master's death...

"I don't- you- are you truly here?" He asks, heart beating out of his chest. "Is this real?"

Fujimaru makes a face that is difficult to describe. "Real. That's a loaded word, Director. We've both seen our fair share of real dreams and nightmarish realities, haven't we?"

That is true, though this does not help in the slightlest. "Th-then, is it you? Or are you just- some image I made up to torment me?"

And now Fujimaru's eyebrows are shooting up, concern evident on their every features. "Do I haunt you so badly, Director? That you would call upon me even as a ghost, even as a dream?"

"Of course you do. You- you- we couldn't save you." All of this, all of this, all this pain and suffering and watching them physically deteriorate before his eyes- and he couldn't get them home. He couldn't even bring back a body to bury.

Fujimaru's face softens. They reach out to touch his cheek. Their fingers are cold. They've always been; the blood just doesn't flow that well in half-necrosed flesh. "Do you know the parable of the dream of the butterfly?"

Goredolf blinks up at them. Belatedly, he realizes he's starting to cry. "What?"

"Once upon a time, there was a man." Fujimaru carries on. "He dreamed he was a butterfly. Upon waking up, he wondered: is he a man dreaming he is a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that he is a man?"

"I, uh," Goredolf can do nothing but stare, speechless, "okay?"

"He didn't know which one was real. If the human or the butterfly was real. I don't know either. I haven't been awake in a very, very long time." They smile at him. It's different from their usual smile. It's much more genuine. And much sadder. "But thank you. Thank you for loving the butterfly."

They lean in, and press their forehead against his. This, this is warm. "Now, wake up, Director. You still can."

[ageekywriter]

Update time! Next chapter update for summer Jalter fic is up!. It is stuffed full of fluff, angst, and pouting Jalter. As always my dear oomfs, moots, friends, and what few regular readers I have XD, your link is below

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26051857

Snippet :

###Ritsuka Fujimaru###

He couldn’t move. He struggled trying to force anything to respond to his demand to move. None of it had. Even so, he channeled all his mana, he tried to move his whole body all at once. It felt like struggling against a paralytic drug. Where all that wasted energy produced nothing and only seemed to exhaust him further.

His blue eyes stung as they tried to peer at her.

Her screams and anguish were silent.

Am I dying?

All of his efforts produced a single nudge of his finger.

He felt swallowed whole by a darkened void, floating about in a current. He could only see Alter meters away, trying to reach him. The headache seemed to grow more pressing as that void seemed to grow colder and darker.

She started to fade away from him.

Or he was losing his sight.

Then a sharp pain prickled at his neck like a thin sewing needle digging through his skin. It was like ice seeping into his veins. He tried to turn his head to see, but he found he couldn’t breathe.

The vertical slits of those red eyes are so close that if he could move he could reach out and touch it. His lungs started to burn, and he wanted to scream, only it was voiceless. He watched his fingers disappear, and his arm followed next.

Disintegrating.

The pain was unbearable and yet that was somehow his saving grace. In his mind’s attempt to imagine it, it worked too hard. That headache faded away instantly. His breath was sharp as his blue eyes opened wide at the tent above him. His hand reached up, his whole body tense as he laid still for a moment a bead of sweat dripping from his temple into the pillow.

He twitched and looked to his side.

Jeanne Alter was there, sprawled, and at an angle. Their blankets were thrown about in a mess, and like him, she was breathing rapidly. The sight of her, though, was relaxing for him, and a sort of soreness spread through his body.

As much as Jeanne Alter was sprawled, she turned on her side with a wince across her expression, and her eyes squeezed shut.

Not the only one having a nightmare, it seems.

Ritsuka didn’t want to get used to the nightmares. He wanted neither of them to start getting used to it as much as she had. What he was enjoying getting used to, however, was that they were both adjusting to having regular help from one another.

Jeanne Alter whimpered and seemed to curl inward. She was slowly pulling her legs free of their entanglement. At the same time her face nuzzled closer.

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompts

FSN

My most cringe prompt: Instead of modern age, the FSN Servants (somehow) got summoned in the Paleothilic, where their Masters are "UNGA BUNGA" people. Like imagine if Saber can't understand what Shirog (Caveboy Shirou) saying. Only Heracles understands caveman language.

(WARNING: MAJOR FSN SPOILERS for people just reading it now) So according to Nasu & Co., Shirou has a very low chance of becoming Archer in any route, the least in HF, with future installments implying that he could become EMIYA Alter instead via Mind of Steel ending in that route. But that does mean it's theoretically possible somewhere in the multiverse. Therefore, I'd like to see an UBW "Bad Ending" where Shirou, after years in spite of Rin at his side, becomes Archer. (Saber can be there too if you want but please keep emphasis on Shirou and Rin's dynamic.) Shirou: Become everything you swore to never be. Question if destiny can truly not be overcome. Your girlfriend begins to recognize parts of the man you never wanted to be in you and her treatment of you shifts accordingly. How do you handle any of that? How do you live with yourself and with knowing what fate awaits you? How does Rin cope with everything? What are the first signs, how well does she handle seeing Shirou slowly turn into her former servant? Knowing Archer asked her to help him and she failed? Is maybe a part of her even happy about it because she misses Archer? Just... Post-UBW Shirou turning into Archer.

(Kinda take in the HF route) Shirou Emiya just arrives at the Gate of Hell after his death due to destroy the Grail. His body was the same as the day he was born (no clothes). Shirou, like many other naked souls just arrived at Lake Acheron, waiting for Charon the ferryman to ferry them. While Shirou has ignore the cries of the souls from the Vestibule of Hell and the ones on the same boat with him. There is one cry that he heard: It was Shinji, who was punished in the 3rd ring of the 7th Circle. (Basically a Shirou meets Shinji again in Hell). Kirei Kotomine is Hell's tour guide, and Shirou gets to beat Shinji up for what he did to Sakura.

EXTRAVERSE

M!Hakuno/Nameless (EMIYA, Archer, insert your name of choice here) Something. Please. (If NSFW, bonus points for Top Hakuno, but I'm not picky)

APOCRYPHA

Fate Apocrypha but everyone has a mustache.

FGO

Achilles and Odysseus having a very romantic day at an amusement park.

Gudako/Mashu cuddle?

Woodwose and Boggart screams because they're slept together on the same bed at the morning. (Mainly due to the wines they drank last night)

Middle school Guda and Mori Nagayoshi meeting for the first time in an All Boys' Only MIddle School. (OC2 prompt)

smut, yakudou cnc/ntr play. One of them gets tied up in a corner and is forced to watch while the other "assault" the third one, bragging about how good it feels to fuck them, how the other clearly WISHES they could partake, making fun of both the "assaulted" and the rope bunny for getting turned on by the situation, ect. No preference as to who plays which part.

age gap, mash/roman as a ship. can be anything from "mash has a one-sided crush that roman gently turns down" to "roman being the only person to show affection to this homunculus is taken to its logical grooming extreme." All I ask of you is to not make it a sweet unproblematic ship. It's a fucked up dynamic I wanna see the fucked up dynamic.

nsfw, Ritsuka sandwiched between both Dantes (NSFW) (preferred if ritsuka was gender neutral)

I reaaally want to see a fic where gudao and mash end up in a romantic relationship... because that's the natural course of action, right? A boy and a girl, as close as they are, surely it HAS to be for romance reasons, right? What they're feeling for each other MUST be romantic love, right??? (you get an extra kiss on the forehead if you make one/both of them realize they're queer along the way. Could be they're both gays. Could be that Mash is straight but Gudao realizes she's a trans girl. Could be that one of them is aro. Whatever you want!)

age gap, Mash and Goredolf. Stuck in a room you can't leave unless you have sex. (You don't actually have to include sex if you don't want to, mostly I REALLY want to see those two grappling with the whole "I wouldn't in a million year consider you a romantic option and yet here we are.")

Olga Marie going through the Grand Order with Ritsuka and Mash and getting hit on by at least one Servant per Singularity. Yes that includes the events.

SAMREM

Iori realizes theyre trans. I dunno what this would change, if anything, but it happens and at the very least it results in a thumbs up from Rogue Berserker.

ANY

Nasuversekinkmeme as a Master. (The entire blog, obviosuly)

The nasukinkmeme mod as a fate servant

My request is... self inserts!! I want you guys to draw/write yourselves as servants. What's your class ? Whose servant would be your homies? How well would you fair in a holy grail war? Cringe culture is dead, go buckwild!!

[grimalkenkid]

Just a Joke

Fandom: Fate/Grand Order

Rating: T+

Pairing: Ritsuka Fujimaru (female)/Mandricardo

Warnings: Canon-typical violence

I just got started on the Atlantis arc, so some things in this will definitely be incorrect regarding post-Lostbelt story, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head until I wrote it all down. This is also quite a bit less polished than my usual stuff, and probably counts more as rambling than prose. Now, please enjoy my RitsuCardo thoughts and Ritsuka headcanons!

As the world healed, things came back in bits and pieces. Of course, there were still huge gaps in both history and geography, but no longer was Chaldea the sole point of humanity on a bleached Earth. They could finally interact with locations and people from Proper Human History as they navigated and stabilized the many singularities and anomalies caused by the Foreign God’s interference. So, when a singularity manifested over Ritsuka’s home town, the entire crew — both human staff and ephemeral Servants — were abuzz with excitement at seeing the place the last Master of humanity grew up.

All except for Ritsuka herself, that is.

She does her best to feign delight; she doesn’t want to let down all her friends, after all. But internally, she’s recoiling from the prospect of seeing her family again. Ritsuka loves them, of course, but their expectations were just too high. She’d been born with higher quality magical circuits than the Fujimaru clan had seen in generations, which probably said more about the family than it did Ritsuka herself. Especially when she turned out to be a third-rate mage who couldn’t even cast one spell without a Mystic Code. That didn’t stop the heads of the family from placing all their hopes on her; she was the last chance they had to stay in the mage game.

Leaving Japan for Antarctica had almost been an upgrade.

Da Vinci and Sion help Ritsuka narrow down the possible teammates, leaving a squad of just four Servants. It wasn’t that big of an anomaly, anyway; the danger wouldn’t be so great they couldn’t summon more Servants on-site. But to start, Ritsuka would be joined by Mash (as always), Pope Johanna, Astolfo, and Mandricardo.

Their forays into the anomalous areas are simple and straightforward, leaving ample time for the gang to explore the town. Ritsuka proves to be a fairly good tour guide, but of course they eventually run into some of her cousins, and she can’t come up with a good excuse to avoid visiting them. So the gang gets dragged back to their estate, eager to hear everything Ritsuka’s been up to while out of the country.

There’s back and forth about the truth of the disasters, widespread rumors, and what Ritsuka is allowed to reveal about her missions in the Singularities and Lostbelts. It’s enjoyable, and Ritsuka starts to relax until she sees the one person she wants to see even less than her overbearing mother…

Her fiance. Akuma.

He was from a slightly more prestigious mage family, but his ego and irritability drove away every single marriage candidate before the Fujimaru clan reached out to them. They’ve barely said some polite “hello”s before Akuma immediately starts berating Ritsuka for running away to Antarctica, accusing her of avoiding her familial duty to provide suitable heirs to their families’ legacies. Mash’s insistence that Ritsuka was integral to Chaldea’s success is able to dissuade him from pursuing that line of thinking further, but he continues to subtly insult her and maneuver her away from her friends whenever possible.

The Servants don’t intervene at first, thinking that Ritsuka will put him in his place soon enough or somehow charm him into acting decently. But she doesn’t. She’s too scared of letting down her entire family to risk driving him away and canceling the marriage, as he’s threatened to do so many times before. Her Servants trust that she’ll ask for help if she really needs it, but that assumption wears thinner by the day.

Then, one night after returning from a longer than usual battle with demonic beasts, Akuma is waiting for her, more than a little tipsy, and declares that they’ll consummate their marriage that night since she’s dragging her feet with the official stuff. When Ritsuka turns him down, he grabs her arm, calling her “no better than a hooker” due to how everyone is apparently allowed to bang her except him. Mash, Astolfo, and Johanna almost can’t believe this guy’s audacity. Mandricardo, though?

Mandricardo sees RED.

Within a second, he’s at Ritsuka’s side, grabbing Akuma’s arm hard enough to crack the bone and nearly throwing him against the nearest wall. “You’re engaged to the bravest, kindest, most selfless woman in the whole world, and you’re treating her like a broodmare! Someone in this room needs to learn some goddamn respect, and it sure as fuck ain’t her!”

“You her boyfriend or something? I’m not looking to take anything from you,” Akuma laughs through tears. “I couldn’t care less how many men she’s got on the side; I just want what’s mine.”

“That does it!” Mandricardo throws Akuma to the floor as Ritsuka’s cousins cautiously come to check out the commotion. “You think she’s yours?! Then fight for her! I hereby challenge you to a duel for Ritsuka’s hand!” Grabbing a bokken from a nearby umbrella stand, he points it at his inebriated foe. “Tomorrow, when the sun reaches its zenith, bring whatever weapon you wish to the courtyard, and we’ll settle this once and for all!”

Everyone is staring by the time Mandricardo finishes his proclamation. Ritsuka’s too worn down by Akuma’s abuse and the earlier battles to really process what’s happening, so Mash helps her to her room while Johanna calms the small audience that had gathered. Mandricardo and Astolfo sleep outside Ritsuka’s door that night, ready to protect her from the monster her family let into their midst.

Not that Akuma would try anything that night anyway. He was too busy readying his defensive and offensive spells to teach this ill-tempered brute not to meddle in the affairs of mages. By the next morning, Akuma is confident this “duel” will be nothing more than a one-sided beatdown.

Which, ironically, he is correct about.

The entire Fujimaru clan comes to witness this scuffle. The family heads are dismissive of the whole thing, only going along with it because Akuma accepted the challenge, though they don’t believe the outcome could really influence the plan to marry Ritsuka to him. Her cousins, however, are supportive of Mandricardo, and sit by Ritsuka as the two men face off, quietly expressing the hope that she will end up engaged to the man who clearly thinks the world of her.

Ritsuka doesn’t quite know what to think. She’d already accepted that she’d be Akuma’s wife eventually; the possibility of anything else never crossed her mind. But with Mandricardo actually fighting for her, she wonders if maybe — on the off-chance her mother will accept the outcome of the duel — she might like being Mandricardo’s wife better.

Johanna agrees to referee, laying out the rules clearly. “This is no fight to the death, and I will not tolerate any lethal blows. The duel will be considered done when one party surrenders or is rendered incapable of fighting. Are we understood?”

“Fine by me,” Mandricardo growls.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Akuma huffs.

Johanna nods. “Then… let the duel commence!”

Akuma immediately activates a cascade of defensive spells to ward off physical blows, then begins casting a spell to immobilize his opponent by increasing the air pressure acting downwards on him to an unbearable level. It’s a foolproof plan. Once Mandricardo is pinned to the ground by the very air itself, Akuma could easily dispose of this barbarian at his leisure.

What he fails to account for is the sudden spike in magical pressure coming from Mandricardo the moment he drops his civilian facade in favor of his armor and wooden sword. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that Ritsuka’s friends were Servants. Why would he? Ritsuka may have had an abundance of mana, but without any control of her magic circuits, she shouldn’t have been able to manifest anything, much less a Heroic Spirit.

Akuma desperately tries to speed up his casting as Mandricardo rushes towards him, suddenly keenly aware of his own fragility. It works as intended, but the amount of force he’s able to apply is woefully insufficient to incapacitate a Servant. All it does is slow Mandricardo down. Akuma slings spell after spell at his foe, but he’d put all his eggs in the “air pressure incapacitation” basket, so the most he can do is give Mandricardo a few scratches by the time the Servant is close enough to swing his sword.

It’s over within seconds. Mandricardo smashes the magical barriers Akuma created with sheer, brute force. His Noble Phantasm sits in the forefront of his mind, which he dearly wishes to use, but doing so would break the rules of the duel. And so, he contents himself with driving Akuma back, step by step, savoring the increasing panic and terror swirling in the mage’s eyes.

Then, Akuma trips, falling backwards onto his ass, and Mandricardo raises his sword for one last strike.

“I give! I give!” Akuma blurts out in a panic. “Call off your goddamn attack dog, Fujimaru! I give!”

The tension permeating the household finally breaks, with half the family practically cheering Mandricardo and the other rushing to Akuma’s side to beg his forgiveness. Of course, the engagement wouldn’t be called off just from the outcome of one duel. There was no contract drafted, and Mandricardo didn’t believe for one second that Akuma would abide by the results if he didn’t want to. But even with all three heads of the Fujimaru clan desperately trying to hold onto their sole heir’s one marriage option, Akuma is well and truly done with Ritsuka.

“She’s all yours, brute!” Akuma bellows, batting the dirt off his pants. “I certainly ain’t fighting for her. Bitch isn’t worth the effort.”

That insult was the final straw.

Brigliadoro is summoned in an instant, and Mandricardo runs Akuma from the household and all the way to the edge of town, hot on the mage’s heels the entire way. He only stops because his mount could only manifest for short bursts, and Astolfo comes to collect him while Akuma puts all his wind-based spells to use putting as much distance between himself and those crazy people. The two Servants awkwardly arrive back at the household on Hippogriff’s back, where the other Servants, Ritsuka, and her cousins eagerly await their return.

Ritsuka feels like a weight’s been lifted from her shoulders. Even if her family is upset by Akuma’s departure, and she knows she’ll have to face their disappointment eventually, seeing Mandricardo rush in to defend her without hesitation is a memory she’ll cherish forever.

As he apologizes for going overboard, Ritsuka gives him a playful punch. “It’s okay,” she says with a relieved smile. “Guess you’re my fiance now, huh.”

Mandricardo freezes.

“Wat?”

A third-rate Servant like him? Engaged to the most perfect woman in the world? Impossible.

Then he remembers what he said. How he worded his challenge. The prize? Ritsuka’s hand in marriage.

And Mandricardo had won.

* * * * * * * * * *

Mandricardo spends the rest of the day in a daze, letting Johanna and Astolfo deal with Ritsuka’s mother and the other family heads. He wants to tell them that he didn’t really want to marry Ritsuka — that he just couldn’t stand seeing Akuma hurt her like that — but he can’t get the words out. He couldn’t bear to hurt Ritsuka himself by insinuating that she wasn’t worth marrying, but every time he hears a cousin say “Congrats!”, it’s like a lance going through his heart because he knows he can’t go through with it.

After all, he’s a Servant. He couldn’t keep a marriage oath, as he’d disappear the moment she doesn’t need him to help protect the world. If he was human, maybe, but…

Despite the lightness in her step, Ritsuka still sees how everything is weighing on Mandricardo. Before bed, she sits with him on the balcony of her house, just chatting like they had so many times before. She tells him that Akuma contacted her mother, officially calling off the engagement, and despite how angry she was with her, Ritsuka couldn’t be happier. Though, if Mandricardo isn’t comfortable with it, she can dial back on joking about her “new fiance”.

Mandricardo laughs. A joke. Of course it was a joke. He’s relieved, saying that he doesn’t mind the jokes… so long as she knows he wouldn’t actually be able to marry her.

Ritsuka laughs, too.

It’s just a joke. A playful bit of teasing. Nothing more.

But then why does it feel like Mandricardo lost something?

* * * * * * * * * *

The “joke” comes back to Chaldea. How could it not, with Astolfo bringing it up at every opportunity? He keeps asking to be invited to the wedding; no one’s sure if he’s joking, but Mandricardo and Ritsuka definitely are. Most people understand immediately that they’re only playing along with “being engaged” as an inside joke and start doing similarly. Some don’t realize that it’s all in jest until much later, usually after an earnest attempt to get details of a possible wedding out of the two.

It takes half a dozen Servants and a Command Seal to keep Kiyohime from challenging Mandricardo to a duel. She simply won’t listen until Odysseus proposes that all the Servants make an oath like he did when Helen’s suitors were on the brink of war: agreeing to protect Ritsuka’s future marriage regardless of who she chooses, even if it ends up being with a non-Servant. That pacifies Kiyohime, though she also doubles down on her attempts to woo Ritsuka.

Mandricardo thinks that’ll be the end of the jokes, but apparently it’s just too enjoyable to poke fun at him. He doesn’t object, though he and Ritsuka do keep mentioning that it was a joke.

Over time, they stop reminding people that it’s a joke. After all, everyone making said joke knows.

“Ah, yes. Of course, it’s a joke,” Chiron says with just a hint of that knowing smile. “I’ve long since known who she will choose to bind herself to. Hm? Who, you ask? Oh, one doesn’t need clairvoyance to see that.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Mandricardo and Ritsuka spend more and more time together. There seems to be nothing they aren’t comfortable sharing with one another. Neither has really thought of their “engagement” in a long time. The jokes don’t even feel like jokes anymore, but they never gave it much thought.

One day, when they’re just cuddling after a mission, Ritsuka finally asks if he wants to keep their engagement as “just a joke”.

Mandricardo is surprised to find that he already has an answer. “No, I want it to be for real… but I won’t be around long enough to make good on it unless you waste a Grail to incarnate me, yeah?”

“I asked Da Vinci to hold back one of the uncorrupted Grails.” Ritsuka snuggles into his chest. “It wouldn’t be a waste.”

Mandricardo doesn’t know what to say. He’d never considered his Master would use such a powerful object just to give him a second chance at life. But he also knows that Ritsuka wouldn’t lie like this. She already had a plan.

And what wouldn’t he give to continue being her partner once the world was no longer on the edge of catastrophe…

He holds her closer, like she’s the most precious being in his world, whispering against the top of her head. “Guess I’d better start thinking about how to propose properly then, huh?”

[goresyard]

❔

˖　📥　𐔌꒰　　𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐀 '❔' 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈'𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒!　　✶　　answered / still accepting.　　✱

ok we're gonna do this a little differently since we're both multis ..... i can suggest a few pairings and then a few more individual muses. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

•　　PAIRINGS, can be interpreted as romantic, platonic or both!

✦　　joker / akiren ﹠ kudou shinichi / edogawa conan. sherlock holmes meets arsene lupin, their vibes would often times clash, especially with akiren being a bit of a chaos agent and with his affinity for bending the rules a little too much just to get a good response. give 'em some time and i think we've got a pretty good crossover friendship going for us!!

✦　　inuyasha ﹠ sun wukong. i'm officially stating this to every single inuyasha writer because i think they'd be SUPER chaotic and funny to write with. brothers in arms, with wukong being the annoying elder brother LMAONFEUIGFN.

✦　　makoto tachibana ﹠ anyone i have from haikyuu / blue lock tbh, with an addition of sousuke :D every single sports anime are interlinked btw don't tell me otherwise, plus it'd be really interesting for them to meet during the olympics or simply by chance. and, aside from our planned makoharu, soumako is also on the table for us HEHEHEHE.

✦　　amane yugi ﹠ jack frost or danny phantom or rin okumura. being alone during the afterlife is intensely overrated, LET'S HAVE THE SPIRIT LADS BE FRIENDS!!! jack and amane is technically recipe for chaos, ( also, jack is technically an alien, and amane loves space wink wink. ) but danny would find him a handful /affectionately. i think rin would enjoy being around him, that is if he's alright with the son of satan hanging around him.

✦　　saotome ranma ﹠ moon knight, nightwing / robin or kyo sohma. i have NOT watched the anime, so just a heads up HUJBRFEYHR, i saw martial artists and ran with the idea. i think kyo and saotome would make pretty good sparing partners! as with moon knight and nightwing, since these two are legally considered street vigilantes and would make good mentors / elder brother figures for them! ( things can be changed accordingly or whichever suits the canon narrative better. :D )

✦　　howl pendragon ﹠ ashitaka. something about ghibli boys interacting brings me joy ....... i think their opposing personalities could create a pretty funny dynamic. an idea i've got while this duo came to mind is ashitaka potentially searching for howl to help him remove the curse, ( a canon divergent interpretation ofc! )

✦　　luke pearce ﹠ sylus or caleb. listen. please listen and hear me out on this one. private investigator and the leader of a criminal organization, do you hear me screeching at the back of my cage. for caleb, im thinking fast banter, small smiles, and the kind of deep trust that sneaks up on both of them.

✦　　moon system ﹠ spider—man, deadpool or daredevil. im completely fine with either mcu interactions or comic interpretations of them! ( moonspider in the comics would be really cute tbh its a guilty ship. )

✦　　rooster ﹠ hangman. CLENCHING THE TABLE. i only recently watched top gun maverick but damn these two bitches fucking gay as hell i need them in my life.

✦　　lee yeon / rang ﹠ kim shin. goblin and the grim reaper in a completely different timeline, their beef will transcend multiversal laws ....... i haven't watched tale of the nine tailed but trust that i will lock in eventually.

✦　　kiara ﹠ kovu. very self—explanatory, one of the couples of all time.

•　　INDIVIDUAL MUSES.

⟡　　simba, the lion king.

⟡　　karma akabane, assassination classroom.

⟡　　ritsuka uenoyama, given.

⟡　　daisuke kanbe, balance: unlimited.

⟡　　loid forger, spyxfamily.

⟡　　all might, boku no hero academia.

⟡　　rody soul, boku no hero academia.

⟡　　prince naveen, princess and the frog.

⟡　　marshall lee—abadeer, adventure time.

⟡　　kenji sato / ultraman, ultraman: rising.

⟡　　merlin ambrosius, red shoes.

⟡　　capitano, genshin impact.

⟡　　al haitham, genshin impact.

⟡　　aventurine, star rail.

⟡　　blade, star rail.

[mako-neexu]

[own interpretation/only for those who can forgive]

daddy kink jokes and getting "dad-zoned" aside, dantes does have a reasonable explanation for the behavior and stance. and maybe thats why i like writing it so much into my fanfics. i dont understand why people dislike this... (is it because of pseudo-incest??? age gap???) but i like it so ill make a post with my thoughts. cut below

because it does come back to the original novel, where when he was incarcerated, his betrothed was stolen away from him and married another bc of pressure, his father believed in him until the end but died without ever seeing his son again... and then there is the Abbe, whom was also his 'fate' and had treated him like a son. so i really get that Abbe Faria who was his light and guide during his time alive would be tremendous inspiration and hope to his heart that has tasted the bowels of despair. coupled with studying under the old man, there was no doubt he truly picked up a lot of things from the Abbe... but also as he is his own person, dantes became a demon of vengeance, one who is compassionate and understanding as well towards victims of circuimstance and highly advocates for determination and personal retribution when wronged.

now, towards fujimaru ritsuka - constantly told to us by the narrative to be the Avenger, Count of Monte Cristo's fate, star, light, accomplice, and "one and only" - his care for them is highly overprotective and selfless that it ultimately becomes selfish and "evil" because it is at the cost of someone else's blood spilled for their sake. he feels like an overprotective father because that is one of the roles he took upon himself... or rather, what you could consider as "canon" if you aren't including romantic implications. (after all, there is that significant age gap that leads many people to simply think that he is a "partner in crime" (platonic) / "older brother" or best friend / "dad" type if the romantic implication isn't preferred by the player....)

but because in prison tower, guda saved him by letting him be their "Abbe Faria" combined with how their soul is and just how guda thinks of him and treats him, the kind of love he has for Fujimaru Ritsuka, grown further overtime, is a kind of madness where you can call it "poisonous". both to him and guda... because if you also think about it, dantes is far more dangerous than any outer god trying to invade their body and destroy the world theyre living in considering dantes in the waste pit and the amount of things sakurai hinted...

one of the factors that also contribute to dantes "dad-zoning" (not really) guda is because guda's family was basically massacred so i think he wants to ease the pain a little bit by being the 'father' in the fake tokyo for them because he cant recreate people guda barely remembers/or isnt in the surface on the bleached earth considering everyone is inside chaldeas, but also being the vengeance demon FROM the book, he doesnt know how to act in any other way other than being the man that was thrown into prison, met the Abbe, and escaped alive. the novel is what the world remembers so those parts of himself that was the "Avenger" was engraved unto the world. in order to help guda, the only way he could do it was through an Avenger like him would. and the man who was saved that is Edmond Dantes's hope and fate- his inspiration is Abbe Faria, whom saw him as a son... and guided him like a light. because with that desire to guide as a light the same way dantes was saved, he put himself into the father role due to how strong his feelings are for fujimaru ritsuka.

even towards haydee, she was constantly referred to as a 'child' throughout the novel because of the age difference until haydee really pressed on and told dantes she loves him romantically. so even to haydee, he felt like a parental figure first even with the master-servant relationship (a time where he can finally have things in control and do what he must to protect those he loves) and to abbe faria, he felt like a friend and a son to the priest (a time where he needed guidance and knowledge) and combined with his personal experiences, he wants what is best for his accomplice.......so i think its really understandable why he would be so close to an "overprotective father" to guda.

its a tough kind of love, but also, so overwhelmingly sweet. where if you struggle and do your best, you will be greatly rewarded no matter what. but if there are factors beyond you that even you cant do, dantes, no matter how incomprehensible and unreasonable he may be, is there to be the fire that will pave your path clear. just as long as you yourself walk it and let him guide you through it. very much like a father...

[elstreem]

(Spoilers for FGO LB6)

Something that has been bouncing around my head for a while now is how interesting it is to compare Bedivere and Oberon's actions and roles in their respective chapters.

...I'm pretty sure I can never put this neatly or concisely enough so ok rambling time!

Which means, this is a warning for a very long post. Seriously.

I have read discussion on similarities between the Faerie Knights and the Knights they were named after, as well as Morgan and Goddess Rhongomyiad, and of course the game itself compares and contrasts Artoria and Castoria. It wasn't until I read that Chapter 6 Habetrot mirrors Bedivere's journey that I realized that our cat-loving fairy is actually Bedi's counterpart in Lostbelt 6 lol, but it is obvious in retrospect (they bond closely with Mash and help her work out her issues, they're both close friends to a queen figure who they now must work against, they're carrying a secret weapon that has to be returned to someone).

So why compare and contrast Bedivere and Oberon? Because I feel like it and also I just think about Bedivere a lot :b A little disclaimer though, I don't actually have Oberon on my account so I might be off base about my understanding of his character...basically, these are just my musings!

But yeah, I think it's interesting they're very alike characters in a lot of ways: they appear to help Ritsuka and co., but secretly had their own agendas waiting to be fulfilled at the end of said chapter. They both even have important bonds to the iteration of Artoria that appeared in their chapters, and interestingly, both of them do mention outright having used Ritsuka for their own purposes and express a sentiment about being fake (Bedivere's wording is "counterfeit" while Oberon is, well, a Pretender).

At the same time, Bedivere and Oberon are very much each others' opposites, too - and I think the key difference here is Bedivere is truly himself, and Oberon...basically can't do that. "Staying true" is an impossibility for Oberon because his very existence is being something he's not.

Going scene by scene, the contrast between the two shows as early as their respective meetings with Ritsuka:

Bedivere tried to keep his distance from the Chaldea crew, even giving a false name and bluntly stating he can be considered an enemy. (key word here being "tried," he sure caved in quickly later on lol) He even says the meeting was just coincidence, and you know, in retrospect it's a crazy stroke of fortune for both Bedivere and Ritsuka to meet like this in Camelot.

By contrast, when Ritsuka finally meets Oberon face to face, he's immediately friendly and personable, even stating he's destined to help them. However, this meeting is definitely not coincidental, as Oberon has been making sure to keep Ritsuka and Castoria on a specific track of actions.

Following the story, Bedivere doesn't actually join Chaldea until he shows himself against Gawain during the night of Selection. And even then, he sort of admits it was an impulsive decision on his part -

And he even confesses to Mash that what happened afterward wasn't totally for Ritsuka's and Mash's sake, he was also just taking advantage of the Chaldea crew.

While he is a genuinely good person, it's true Bedivere had his own personal agenda throughout Chapter 6 which he kept secret until the confrontation with Goddess Rhongomyniad. It just so happened that goal aligned with what our heroes were after, too, so it all works out.

Meanwhile, Oberon does a lot of things to help Ritsuka from the get-go, and he makes plenty of suggestions as to what to do next - but as it turns out, it's all part of his plan to lay the groundwork for him to appear as Vortigern. Castoria even calls him out on this when she confronts Oberon about how he deliberately kept it secret from Ritsuka he knew where Mash was.

Speaking of which, this is another major difference between Bedivere and Oberon -

Part 1 is mostly Mash's story, and as with all of Arc 1's companions, Bedivere mostly guides her.

I know I have terrible BediGuda brainrot hours all day every day lol, but I do admit as far as the actual game goes, Bedivere is shown being very close to Mash. The film switches it up by giving the conversation before the final battle between Fujimaru and Bedivere, but in game, it's Mash who reassures Bedivere there is meaning to his journey, and it's Bedivere who tells Mash how to fully utilize Lord Camelot. Mash even reacts to the news of Bedivere being a summonable Servant by saying she has another Senpai to look up to (which, tbh I'm kinda sad the game never really followed up on, I think it would have been cute to see more of Bedi being Mash's supportive senior at the Round Table).

By contrast, Oberon very much focuses on Ritsuka, and there's a couple of scenes where he talks extensively with Ritsuka about personal matters.

It goes both ways in Lostbelt 6 really, if you think about it, Oberon goes out of his way to have Ritsuka tell him about the Lostbelt and how they've felt so far, but in turn, Ritsuka actually does learn enough about Oberon to be suspicious of him at various story beats. (Although, one thing I'm not completely sure of is, does the Oberon who appear in the Garden of Lost Will the actual Oberon or is it just a representation of Ritsuka's doubts?)

In any case, while they have a different focus in relationships, Bedivere is still clearly shown caring for Ritsuka as Chapter 6 goes on, and at the very end, when he comes clean of everything, he does so with an apology.

So while Bedivere hid a secret all this time, his end goal worked well with Chaldea's goal of eliminating the Singularity, so no harm was ultimately done by his keeping his secret, even if his aberrant action was the root cause for Goddess Rhongomyniad being who she is.

And by contrast, Oberon does address Ritsuka and Castoria's anxieties, and makes sure they are doing what needs to be done, but while doing so he is also making sure he can be Vortigern again. Needless to say, his end goal of destroying the world is something Chaldea needed to stop. Though, my understanding of Oberon is, he does care for Ritsuka and Castoria, but his way of affection and concern is all twisted up because of who he is, so he can't really be honest with them even if he wanted to, because admitting it would turn it into another lie.

Their relationships to the Artoria they knew are also interesting to look at, because both Bedivere and Oberon in part made them who they are. Bedivere meant well when he didn't return the sword, only to find it led to Artoria turning into the Lion King, and he sought her for a long time to fix his mistake. Even then, when they met again, she didn't recognize him until he could reveal Excalibur for what it really was. And before that, Bedivere knew Artoria as a king to be looked up to - he loved her and served under her, so while there are strong emotions of respect and concern, it's still a formal sort of relationship, the king and the knight. Meanwhile, Oberon practically raised Castoria while he could. The way they interact is very much devoid of formalities, since they argue and fight a lot, but deep down they understood each other for what they were.

There's probably also something to be said about how both characters did find closure at the end of their journeys, but while Bedivere got it after fulfilling his goal despite all the hardship, Oberon got it even after he was thwarted at the very end.

I think I can put a few more comparisons in but I'm gonna be repeating my points and just stating what's already in the dialogues.

So to sum them up - one is a horrible liar and the other is a natural liar :b

Sorry, I just had to put in how terrible Bedi is at lying, it's pretty funny.

Gosh, I don't even know how to tl;dr this, it's so scattered and long. I think it took me over two hours to write this and this probably still reads more like ramblings...and man, I hate having to look for screenshots only to find I'm missing the one I'm thinking of and I don't want to be bothered to re-check the game :')

But yeah. Anyway. Bug boy got them issues, while Bedi resolved most of his (good for him).

[kob131]

So what do you think about Caster Gilgamesh x Ruler/Lancer Artoria? IMO I don't ship normal ArtoriaGil but I do like the concept that their older, more mature and realized selves actually get along swimmingly.

It could possibly work.

I'm gonna go slightly off topic for a bit because it sets up this conversation a bit more: I haven't actually thought about this ship before. I thought more about Lancer and Emiya, due to a common theme of losing their humanity with Lancer losing her humanity through prolonged exposure to Rhongyomiad and Emiya having lost his humanity in the process of working for the Counter Force. One is figurative and the other is literal but they both feel this disconnect with humanity even though they still do retain it.

I bring this up because the theme of 'losing one's humanity' is the ONE thing Lancer has to separate herself from Saber Arturia. It's the element of her personality that people should focus on since otherwise the only difference is this Arturia has big boobs. This is actually a good point of connection with Gilgamesh: he's a demi-god whose actually more divine than mortal yet choose to help humanity against the gods. His story is all about fearing mortality and losing Enkidu, very human fears and sorrows. Even his massive ego isn't something all that inhuman: many humans have demonstrated this personality trait. By all accounts: Gilgamesh in ALL his forms acts like a human despite his immense divinity.

He would very well have a perspective on the topic that would help Lancer with her issues, the problem being that normal Gil hasn't been humbled by life yet so he'd never consider anyone who isn't Enkidu an equal. And Kid Gil's honestly kind of a perv. So Caster would be the iteration to help her without the dehumanizing element that makes the attraction so...uncomfortable. So yeah, I do see it.

... Now for my customary end of the ask tangent.

Anyone else kind of creepied out by the insistence in the fanbase with pairing every alternate version of a character with their mainline love interests?

This is like 99% about Shirou/Arturia/Rin/Sakura. For some reason, people can't understand that alternate versions of these guys probably aren't gonna be attracted to each other. I see people insisting that Muramasa and ArCas is the ship to do even though they don't really have romantic chemistry and ArCas HAS a love interest in Ritsuka. I even find shipping her with Oberon more logical despite him also having better chemistry with Ritsuka because at least they share a feeling resentment towards their duties.

Alternate versions are their own people, for fuck's sake.

[badtastebettermusic]

Sobbing Because of Gay Animated High Schoolers? More Likely Than You'd Think!

Fuyunohanashi by Given

Genres: Anime, J-Rock (unsure of genuine subgenre, but it's rock and japanese so i'm sticking with j-rock)

Written by: centimillimental

---

trigger warning for discussions of suicide

back when i was deep in my anime phase in 2019, crunchyroll licensed the anime given, and after getting spammed by my friend telling me to watch it, i succumbed

only for given to be the first anime i ever cried watching, precisely because of this song

i learned to sing lyrics in japanese (a language i do not know) just to sing along to this song because of the way it made me feel, and it was the first japanese song i did this for.

fuyunohanashi (or fuyu no hanashi) translates to "winter's story" and it's about coming to terms with the death of someone who died suddenly and dealing with the grief that follows along with being left behind, using metaphors of winter and the cold to describe the emotions of grief. it's sung by the character mafuyu (which means winter) is singing this song about his ex-boyfriend yuki (which means snow) after yuki suddenly commits suicide after (MAJOR SPOILERS) having an argument with mafuyu, leaving mafuyu reeling from being the guilt of being unable to reconcile with yuki, thinking that it was his fault yuki committed suicide, on top of the trauma of finding yuki's body.

later, mafuyu meets ritsuka (meaning summer) and after hearing mafuyu sing, ritsuka begs mafuyu to join his band, where they eventually develop a new relationship.

the context of the story is important just because of how gut-wrenching the lyrics are. even in the english dub the song is still performed in japanese and even with only a subtitled translation the emotions are so raw that you can't help but cry. (it doesn't help that the performance is peppered with gut-wrenching flashbacks and devastating audience reactions either, but i digress)

i should note that in the anime that ritsuka plays guitar for the band so the sick riffs in the back (arguably the backbone of the track and the most distinct part aside from the vocals) are ritsuka just wailing on the guitar. the drums are also exciting, and at some points of the verses it's just the hi-hat and simple bass chords to highlight mafuyu's voice and raw emotion.

and oh my god mafuyu's voice. i barely have words to describe it. voiced by actor shogo yano, it is so full of emotion and audible grief that you'd think that the actor himself had recently suffered a devastating loss. at one point in the song he even screams (melodically, but still a scream), and it's such a painful sound that it was the exact moment i burst into tears.

mafuyu's english voice actor (brandon mcinnis) did make an excellent english cover, but nothing compares to whatever magic shogo yano was doing in the recording booth.

the whole song is just so raw. it's like someone bottled grief itself and let it loose on stage. at that point in my life i had not yet experienced the death of someone close to me, but this song single-handedly made me understand that kind of grief. it's just so visceral, both in sound and lyricism.

it's mafuyu telling yuki that he resents what yuki did to him and how up until this point he'd been unable to move on, and that even though he's just now moving on with his life he'll never forget yuki and what yuki meant to him. it's a love song, but in the past-tense. mafuyu will always love yuki, but is no longer in love with him (especially now that he has ritsuka).

also bonus, when i say "just now moving on" i mean that literally--mafuyu had no idea what he wanted to sing about and couldn't write any lyrics so within the context of the anime he literally improvised it on stage as soon as he got his feelings in order, much to the surprise of his band members.

there's also some specific things that don't quite translate over because of linguistic differences between japanese and english. when mafuyu says goodbye to yuki, he's saying sayonara, a specific way of saying goodbye that is quite formal and also has connotations of being a kind of final farewell. you say sayonara to people you might not be seeing again.

honestly you should really watch the anime to gain full context for the song

there's also a live action version of given but they changed?? the song?? for some reason?? likely because they couldn't hope to recreate shogo yano's batshit insane performance. it's not a bad song, but it's no fuyunohanashi either.

highly recommend if you feel like crying. in all seriousness it's for enjoyers of high-emotion and high-tension music. you'll like it if you listen to anime intros and centimillimental's other music. it's more uptempo than fujii kaze but it's got a similar level of raw emotion if that's what you're into.

Clip From Anime (interrupted with dialogue from show)

Shogo Yano's Music Video (uninterrupted)

English Cover by Brandon McInnis

[acquiredmen]

Dunk ShikiRitsu fic from June 2022, google docs says. Never finished, so I'll post here the bits I did write

It's supposed to be set before Trials of Humanity (but maybe "three years" is a bit too far?), maybe after EverSweet, but definitely before Trials of Humanity

It was supposed to be in two parts, first Ritsuka's perspective. Shiki gets drunk drunk, Ritsuka doesn't know why. She helps him throw up and maybe both of them get a little horny from there. I never decided if I wanted to leave that in or not

Idk who gets horny first, they don't know either. Shiki tries to escalate it, but Ritsu cuts him off since she's more concerned with taking care of him. Maybe in a few years, she'd take the offer, but for now she's more concerned with the fact that Shiki's sick as hell and can't stand up on his own

Second part is Shiki's perspective, the next morning. He thought of getting Ritsu drunk, but then he thought about it more and did a full 180. He wouldn't do that, he's a good human boyfriend now who would never try to harm his girlfriend! (He's still bottling his shit up, has yet to admit that his darker desires didn't, in fact, "go poof" with turning human) No, no, he's gonna get himself drunk, because if he has destructive urges, he'll take them out on himself

No, I remember why I said "three years". I feel like Ritsuka is the type of person to wait until she's of legal age to drink, and even afterwards, she doesn't care about alcohol too much. But maybe I could knock it down to two years, since she's 16 at the end of the story? So, 16 in My Carol

That was another thing, I drew on My Carol for Ritsuka snapping at Lindo and calling him by his name. If I remember correctly, she threatens to disown him if he doesn't quit acting the way he does with Shiki