#how does he get prettier every comeback

[filmbyjy]

can i req bf niki and fem reader and they go on a vacation to jp + meet niki's parents?? btw luv ur works <3

a/n: to whoever that requested this. i am so sorry this took a whole year to even get around to writing this😭 also my photoshopping skills on this banner🤌🏻 but anyways, this isn’t entirely a holiday with ni-ki as i am basing it off what happened when ni-ki went back to his hometown to perform. this is just assuming what happened, obviously fictional so it isn’t real. just imagine people!

BACK HOME

pairing: nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre: fluff; idol!ni-ki + relationship au

warnings: nope

word count: 2.4K words

it’s been years since ni-ki got to come back home to japan. years without his parents, his family. he had to grow up quick at 14. flying in a plane to an unknown territory. just to train for a 8 months and join a survival show. ni-ki was terrified, confused and quite honestly homesick. yet, after actually winning a spot and debuting. nothing could prepare himself to confess to you.

you had met ni-ki at a small secluded ice cream shop. it was a normal ice cream parlour, there were a few people that came and go. nothing could fully prepare you to come face to face with a masked man.

“hi, what flavour would you like? oh and would you like a single scoop or double?” you say the usual line. ni-ki looks up at you to order, in his head, his jaw drops cartoonishly. you were beautiful. he clears his throat, he probably had been standing there for quite a bit.

“can i get two single scoops? one mint choco and the other being cookies and cream.” he says.

“okay. one second.” you had scooped up the ice cream and placed it into the respective cups. “any toppings?”

“oh umm, maybe some…” his eyes scanned the toppings. which he couldn’t really focus on since your gaze was flustering him a lot. “sprinkles?” he says with a slight confusion in his voice.

you giggled a little, “sprinkles it is. on both ice cream?”

“yeah.” you had topped the ice cream with sprinkles and went to type in the order into the register.

“total will be $3.”

“oh? for two?”

“yeah. our prices are the lowest of the lowest here.” you say.

“woah. i should come back here all the time.” he says. he catches himself and he felt his face heat up. “sorry.”

“don’t be. it would be great if you could come back here everyday. maybe even bring your friends?”

“I think I could do that.” ni-ki smiles behind the mask.

and so he did. he came over to see you everyday and even bought ice cream every single time. was he getting sick and tired of ice cream? yes, but he would be able to see you everyday.

"so how was practice? is it fun?" you asked him curiously. he shook his head.

"just tiring. sometimes it's fun but since comeback is around the corner. practice has just been something I wished never came."

you had frowned at his words, "that doesn’t sound too fun. being an idol doesn’t seem as fun as i thought it would be.” ni-ki chuckles.

“it’s fun at times but you definitely need to have a lot of discipline to really become one. discipline and patience.” you hummed at his words.

“well, i don’t think i could become an idol. the girls? urgh too pretty. kinda jealous of them but i’m mainly just in awe by them.”

“you’re pretty too.” ni-ki says. you felt flustered.

“oh, thank you. i’m not all that pretty. you’ve probably come across a prettier girl than me.”

ni-ki does that unthinkable and he softly reaches your hands. “you’re pretty. really pretty. prettier than any of the girls i’ve seen.” your heart races at his words. in some way, you knew this was a confession since you knew that ni-ki was being obvious about having a crush on you. he didn’t bother hiding it because he didn’t find a reason to. besides, nobody besides you knew it was him. this was his little secret.

“is this your way of confessing to me?” you teased him. he laughs.

“and if it is, will you say yes?”

you smiled, “of course.” he squeezes your hand lightly.

“then from today onwards, you’re my girl.” he declares. you laughed.

“yours.”

a year passes by quickly. ni-ki had a concert in okayama. his hometown. there was a small period of break after their concert so ni-ki decided to invite to travel with them. he helps you place your luggage into the compartment above. you smiled. jake nudges ni-ki’s waist to tease him.

“ayyy, who knew our maknae can be so gentleman like.” jake smirks.

“at least i have a girlfriend.” ni-ki argues back. he pulls you closer to him and pecked the side of your head proudly. it was almost funny when jake's smile fell quickly and he looked like a sad puppy.

with that, ni-ki pulls you to your assigned seat (which was next to him). he kisses your knuckles and makes sure you were alright throughout the entire flight. since you’ve never really flown on a plane before, you were terrified but ni-ki assures you constantly. the both of you shared an earpiece and watched movies throughout the flight. when he looks around, all the boys were asleep so he takes his chance to peck your forehead. you stared right at him and he leans to peck your lips. before you could utter a word, ni-ki pulls you into a sweet kiss. one that showcased how much he loved you and you can’t help but feel your heart race quickly.

there was a short bright flash and so you and ni-ki pulled away. ni-ki turns back to see jungwon and sunghoon with their phones out taking a picture of you and ni-ki kissing.

“whoops.” jungwon says. “you two were too cute. we had to take a picture.”

“send me the picture later on.” ni-ki says. jungwon salutes and settles back at his seat continuing to watch the show he had accidentally dozed off on.

[1 hour passes by]

finally, everyone arrived at okayama. everyone goes to grab their bags from the compartment above once the plane lands and parks. you had to unfortunately be separated from the boys for a bit as your they were going get pictures taken by the paparazzis. one of their managers followed you and brought you towards another gate. there was a small group of people holding up a sign in japanese. it had ni-ki’s face plastered on it. you recognised ni-ki’s siblings and so you assumed that was his mom and dad next to them. they were waiting excitedly for ni-ki or were they waiting for you.

the manager approaches them and explains to them in japanese before turning to look at you. “this is ni-ki’s family, they will be accommodating you for the whole time we are here as you know it can be risky if you stayed with the boys.”

you nod. “thank you, manager jin. you don’t have to worry about me conversing with them. i learnt japanese for quite a while now so i think i can do well with chatting with them.”

“alright, i’ll leave you guys. i have to get back to the boys.” the manager leaves quickly. you turned to the ni-ki’s family and bowed.

“umm, hi. i am (name), ni-ki’s girlfriend.” you told them in japanese. ni-ki’s younger sister runs up to you and hugs you.

“you’re so pretty! ni ni really picked a good girl!” you blushed at his younger sister’s words. his older sister comes up to you and pats your back.

“let’s bring you back to our home so you can rest. taking a flight can be draining.” she says. ni-ki’s mom smiles.

“oh yes, dear. we should get back. you need to rest and also eat! let me make some food for you when get back home.”

once you had arrived at the nishimura household, ni-ki decides to facetime you. his face pops up on your screen.

“hi pretty.” ni-ki smiles.

you giddily smiled at him. “hi.”

“I wish you were here with me. kinda sucks we have to be separated.” he huffs and whines a little. you almost giggle at his cute act. surely, his fans would want to see more of this of him. alas, you could only witness this side of him and even bring it out.

“well, I’m not unfamiliar. I’m in your childhood home. which by the way, your mom has tons of albums of ENHYPEN here. your bedroom feels like a relic, it should be kept in a museum.”

“oh, my mom let you stay in my bedroom?” he tilts his head. you nod.

“yeah. oh and bisco is here too! i think your mom mentioned that he runs in here time to time because he misses you.”

“I’m going to cry that’s so cute.” ni-ki lays his head down on the pillow. “I’m so tired.”

“get some much needed rest, you have a concert tomorrow.” he hums at your words.

“I should visit home after the concert and eat there.”

“i think your mom is hoping for that. oh, maybe the boys can come over too?”

“I don’t think there would be enough space in my parents’ home, baby.” ni-ki chuckles a little.

"well, i'm just saying. i'm sure your parents would like to thank the people for taking care of their baby boy." ni-ki snorts.

"alright, i can't argue with you on that. oh, has bisco warmed up to you yet?" he asks. you panned the camera down to bisco wagging his tail and laying right next to you. ni-ki smiles widely.

"my girls."

"bisco is a boy."

"eh? but- right, boy." he clears his throat. "been a while since i've seen him. i think i forgot his gender."

"it's your family dog."

"it's not exactly my dog. it's my parents." ni-ki explains. you laughed.

"okay okay. it's seriously late and you need to sleep your jet lag off. go eat dinner then sleep."

"yes, ma'am." he salutes at you. you playfully rolled your eyes at him. he blows a kiss to the camera and you do the same before ending the facetime.

a knock at ni-ki's childhood bedroom makes you yelp, you looked up at who knocked on the door and it was konon. she smiles and points to the kitchen.

"my mom made some dinner for you before we left. she just heat it up, you should eat up and then go to sleep."

"oh, thank you." you say and konon leaves. you had gone to eat outside, bisco quietly follows you around as you had settled on the couch to eat. he lays his head comfortably on your lap. which was a little surprising considering you weren't someone bisco was familiar with.

after finishing up with dinner, you had cleaned up the plate and gone to sleep. once again, bisco had followed you into ni-ki's childhood room.

the next day, you and ni-ki's family were going over to the stadium. you'd think that you were just going to simply watch the concert but no. right before the concert, just hours before, you were brought backstage. ni-ki hugs you tightly.

"hi baby." he whispers in your ears. you smiled and wrapped your arms around his shoulder.

"hi." you replied. there was a furball following you around. stopping right at your ankles. "oh, bisco." you had picked him up. he doesn't exactly remember ni-ki since after all it's been years and ni-ki was different now then how he was back then at 14.

bisco looks up at ni-ki then looks away. ni-ki pouts and lets bisco smell his hand. maybe he would remember in a way. unfortunately, not at all. "maybe give him some time?" you say. ni-ki sighs.

"yeah, i know. this little furball is such a shit head. love him though." he ruffles the tiny dog before going over to his parents and hugging the both of them.

as time passes, the boys had to start their concert and so you and ni-ki's family had moved over to the designated seats that you guys were generously given. everyone around you (the engenes) were excitedly and patiently waiting for the concert to start. the lights dimmed and the concert starts.

there was a 7 clear silhouettes seen in the dark and everyone starts yelling. the song starts playing and that is truly when the chaos ensues. you were a little shocked by the yelling and screaming since you've never exactly seen this happen all the time. as time passes by, the boys were starting to wind down. they were talking about how fun they had.

"engenes!! thank you for enjoying today's concert. we will be sure to back next year for another concert here in okayama." jungwon says.

ni-ki picks up his mic, "engenes, i'm really thankful for every one of you for making my dream come true. i get to perform in my hometown and in front of my parents. there is something i have to confess though."

the stadium gets a little silent as ni-ki prepares what to say. "this may be controversial to say as an idol in a boy group. many of you might hate me. that is fine. you can't hate on enhypen. i-" he takes a deep breath in. "i have someone that i truly love. she's here and she's watching me perform in front of everyone that i love and care about. it would be great if you could also show her some love. she deserves the world. she managed to bring out the stronger version of myself today."

everyone was cheering. the boys weren't expecting for ni-ki to have revealed his relationship but they were still proud of him. he stood up for himself. they also knew this would impact the way k-pop was in a way. the culture and mindset behind dating.

"thank you engenes, i love you." he shyly showed a heart to the crowd.

after the concert ends, ni-ki's family and you had gone backstage again. you had ran up to ni-ki despite him still sweaty after the concert. he accepts your hug and held you tight.

"you've cause quite the stir, riki." you say as your voice was muffled due to his clothes. he laughs.

"i know but i had to let everyone know i'm madly in love with you." he says. you felt him peck the top of your head.

"what if they bullied you out of the group? you know how they are now with dating scandals." you asked him.

"don't worry, if the company doesn't do anything. i will. i'll kick whatever they send to HYBE and then throw it in the trash."

you laughed a little. "you're so adorable."

"not as adorable as you." he tilts your chin up and little and leans down to peck your lips. "i love you."

"i love you too."

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo @http-gyu @simpforniki @vatterie @victoriazynui @myu3ki @jhopesucker @dimplewonie @chwlogy @ilovewonyo @xiaoderrrr @uwuheeseungie @miercerise @liikno @hxney-luga @tiktaktiki @ajayke-reads @yizhoutv @s00buwu @ilovehanni1 @starrpt2 @mystarryseas @moonliaworld @in-somnias-world @luvyev @engeneeee-168 @babyy-bambii @kimipxl @namau @gxwesn

[mixingandmelting]

hey so how do you think Dick Grayson would deal with him not liking his s/o has a list of 2d men they’d commit to life too and he doesn’t like it, like your post, but then his s/o hard laughs cuz he’s getting so upset and trying to one up the 2d men, and s/o points out “oh my gosh. You don’t see it do you? You and these 2d men are similar to each other”? (Think Vash the stampede or Nightcrawler from marvel comics, any others things you can think of).

“No.”

He stubbornly stands by his verdict. Didn’t matter he watched fourteen plus hours of movies and TV series with you and enjoyed it. Nor reading through and getting engrossed with the comics. He’s nothing like Matt Murdock and Matt Murdock is nothing like him. There are so many things that are different between him and the character that he doesn’t know where to start. 

Like, listen. He’s faster, stronger, better, and prettier than the other. He’s been in the business way longer, since he was eight mind you, that he’s obligated to go “pro reacts to [x]” and analyze everything Daredevil does in every crime fighting scene. Gingers are so last year, this year black hair is making a comeback. Plus, on top of all that, he’s much cooler and has a better taste in people. Exhibit A: you, the most perfect person in the whole universe and his one and only love. 

“You do realize he’s not real.” You raise an eyebrow, though your smile doesn’t go unnoticed. 

“Exactly. I am and he’s not. Therefore,” he exaggeratedly waves his hand towards himself, “why need him when you can have a real-life package right here and now?”

 He huffs, not appreciating the sight of you shaking your head in disbelief. What is it the other has that he doesn’t? He’s a vigilante. He’s got the face and body. Is it because he’s real and not a fictional character? Fine then. 

“Well, then is it him or me?”

“Oh my- You can’t be serious.” You bet he’s serious when he harrumphs and turns his head away. Cheeks puffed, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed- he has no intention of letting up his tantrum until you tell him your answer. The right answer. 

He starts to frown when he hears you sigh, offended by it. Excuse you but what do you think you’re doing? Here he is, bothered over some 2D man and you’re exasperated? Just what- oh. Suddenly, your lips are on his cheek, your hands on his arm for leverage. 

“Why are you getting jealous over a guy I treat as unreal when you’re the only one I would kiss, hug, and love like this?” 

“...Even simping?”

You blink. “Since when did you know that word- actually. Nevermind. Yes, you’re the only person I genuinely simp in both reality and fictionally.”

There and then, he picks you up and hauls you over his shoulder. 

“Dick? Dick!? What are you doing!?”

With a happy, silly grin on his face, he merely replies with “bedroom”. Though he makes a note in the back of his head to ask afterwards about having his merch since from the sounds of you, it seems like you do but of what he’s more curious about.

[muffinbringer]

42 Miles Morales x chubby female reader.

Pink is you Uncle aaron is orange and Purple is Miles

Summary: You are an obese teen girl and you met Miles, as time moved on you became friends and then his girlfriend. This is how he treats you in a relationship.

Miles is known to be stoic and rude to almost everyone, the only exceptions are his mom and his uncle. That changed when he met you. You just happened to be the new kid when he met you, the teacher introduced you and then someone straight up insulted your weight in a passive aggressive manner. While everyone laughed you laughed along with them which surprised them.

You came back with a comeback immediately which caused the person to be embarrassed and everyone to be shocked, including Miles. Miles thought you'd be like the others, all embarrassed and stuff but you quickly proved them wrong, proved him wrong. You proved that you weren't a little bitch and would fight back if irritated. This is what made Miles interested in you. You were really talkative and loved to make friends.

Everytime you'd guys had to pair up, you'd talk none stop. Eventually, you broke through Miles' tough, hard and cold exterior and became friends. Miles had soon become your bodyguard. Whenever people would insult you he would glare at them and the say something like " You wanna say that again, vato?" with a threatening aura. You'd roll your eyes and give him a look. He knows you don't like it when he protects you or whatever he calls it but he just does it anyway.

When y'all start dating everyone is surprised. They'd never thought of Miles being in a relationship because he seemed like a loner but I guess he'd prove them wrong. He'd spoil you rotten and you'd accept the gifts and get him one as well which he'd find cute but then playfully scold you because your buying him stuff and says something like " Mami, I should be the one spoiling you. Not the other way around." and you'd retort by saying " It's only fair. Plus, I won't accept the gifts you give me if I can't get something for you. Also you shouldn't be wasting your money on someone like me."

" Its my money bebe. I can do whatever I want with it. If I choose to spoil you then I will. I can't have my girl wearing clothes that I didn't buy her." " But you should spend it on someone prettier than me." "Princesa no one is prettier than you. Quien te hizo sentir así?" Miles would stare into your eyes cause he knew that if he did then you would tell him. "Everyone, I heard whispers of someone saying that I was probably just a play thing for you. Today some girls cornered me today when I was going to my locker. They said that an ugly fat girl like me shouldn't be with someone like you." Miles would immediately get angry but doesn't show it. He'd ask you to tell him who and once you did, within a week those girls didn't show up to school anymore.

Anyways, the second you begin to shame your body he'd quickly correct you saying something like " Mami your beautiful, your body is beautiful and I love both you and it." You'd get flustered and pout, still disagreeing with his claim. " Promise me not to say that about yourself." You'd promise but then secretly say it under your breath. You'd think he didn't hear but he heard every word of it. During recess he cornered you in an empty classroom. The conversation went something like this. " Didn't I tell you not to say those things about yourself? Don't lie, chica. I heard you saying that shit all day under your breath. What's up with you?"

" It's nothing babe. I think your hearing things cause I haven't said barely a word all day." " That's part of the problem chiquita. What's up with you? You've barely said a word to me and when I do hear you speak, I hear you saying all that crap about your body. Dime que pasa Carino." You knew that he'd force it out of you if you didn't tell him. " I don't know, I guess I've just been a little self conscious about my weight lately." " A little is an understatement, bebe. I told you I didn't want you to think that way. Eres perfecta tal como eres. Why can't you see that?" you'd blush and look away. " You're too sweet Miles." " I don't want you saying those things. If I catch you saying them or even hear you say that to someone then I will drag you into an empty classroom at recess and then mark my initials on your neck for everyone to see the second I'm done. Got it?" You nod and that was the end of you insulting your body in front of him.

When yall are alone Miles is touched starved. He's always had to touch you in some way. Whether his hand be on your thigh or has his arms around your waist, he'd always be touching you. You're a really good cuddler and are great at giving hugs to people who need it. When Miles gets back from whatever job he has, he calls you in the middle of the night saying he needs you. You'd have to go up to his apartment, dead ass tired, in the middle of the night, to go and see what Miles wanted. Once you got to his room he'd throw you on the bed and then collapse onto you and then hug you. You'd then understand why he called you here.

His family absolutely loves you. Rio often makes jokes about you and Miles getting married and uncle Aaron often says something like " You got a keeper Miles, Don't loose her." "I don't plan on it."

When you found out he was the prowler you weren't surprised. The conversation went something like this. " Why aren't you scared? Why aren't you surprised?" " To be honest you seem like the perfect candidate to be the prowler. Plus it explains why you got so much money to spend on me. I'm not scared because what you do as the prowler has nothing to do with me babe." " Are you gonna report me?" " Why would I? You could kill me at anytime before I got my phone out or even got to the station. But then again, you wouldn't hurt me now would you? Again, what you do in your free time isn't any of my business." " Your not mad I didn't tell you?" " No. You had your reasons to keep it from me." To say the least Miles was shocked when you showed no reaction but was happy you still loved him.

[sadhours]

simmer down - 2

masterlist • requests are open • read on ao3

previous chapter

warnings: 18+ minors dni, reader x steve, smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), swallowing, slow burn, angst, this is end game Billy x reader I promise

summary: you think maybe you can fall back into secretly hooking up with Steve, even if Billy knows. you find that he isn’t going to tell your brother, Tommy. but he’s sure as hell gonna tease you about it.

By some weird force of nature, Billy hasn’t spilled your secret. It’s stressing you out that he even knows at all, because he doesn’t know much of anything about you. And now he’s the sole holder of that secret. You don’t know Billy so you’ve got no clue if you could really trust him to keep his mouth shut. The other night at dinner, Tommy announced that Billy had joined the basketball team and you panicked because Steve is on the team. The possibility of Billy saying something makes you absolutely sick to your stomach.

You used to fuck off with Carol during practice but since Billy’s joined, the two of you sit in the gym and watch now. It’s tough to watch, Billy has this need to antagonize Steve and you end up feeling sorry for Steve. He’s not as good on his feet as the Californian. And Billy’s a fucking show off. He dribbles the ball between his legs and is constantly attempting trick shots. What’s worse is he makes them ninety percent of the time and everyone cheers. You can see the annoyance on Steve’s face, his comebacks aren’t as well executed as Billy’s. Also, how Billy always ends up on skins while Steve ends up on shirts seems intentional, like either Billy asks the coach or the coach really likes to see them compete.

“It’s insane to see Steve like this,” Carol mumbles to you, nudging your shoulder as she does so. “He used to be such a hot shot.”

You wince, watching Billy knock Steve onto his back and grin wildly down at the brunette. It’s definitely a foul, yet the coach doesn’t call it out. No, instead he yells for Steve to get up.

“Billy’s kind of a dick,” you admit, your face scrunched up in secondhand embarrassment for Steve.

Carol shrugs, “He’s just a better player. Steve’s so pathetic, it just looks sad.”

With a sigh you can’t help but agree. It’s only solidifying Steve’s fall from grace. You can’t really imagine Billy taking his place though, he’s in a far different league of his own. He’s exotic in ways Steve isn’t. Billy’s not rich but he has a way cooler car than Steve. He hasn’t spent his entire life in Hawkins and you make a internal note to ask him more about the west coast. Talking to Billy was surprisingly easy. Sometimes you’d catch yourself rambling on and repeating yourself because you’d get so excited about whatever you were talking about and he was an amazing listener. He asked questions, nodded along and laughed when you apologized for talking too much. The crush was kind of growing, but you were pretty sure it would pass. He was pretty regularly hooking up with Tina, she’d tell you and Carol all about it and you pretended not to picture yourself with him while she described their encounters.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by Billy’s maniacal cackling and Steve whining, “Coach! Come on! That was totally illegal!”

Carol’s laughing along with Billy, but you can’t help but agree with Steve. He plays dirty, it’s obvious to anyone with eyes. It is also glaringly obvious how sexy he is. You find yourself thinking about licking the sweat off his chest. Why did he always have to be skins?

This was torture but you enjoyed it enough to keep following Carol into the gym every other day. And after practice you’d walk with Billy to his car if Tina wasn’t around. Today she wasn’t, so here you are standing next to that pretty blue Camaro looking up at even prettier blue eyes. Billy’s hair is still wet from his shower. He shrugs off the compliments from Tommy and Carol while he lights a cigarette. He gives you this look when Steve walks to his car and your eyes linger, watching Steve’s tall legs as he strides past the four of you.

“So what’s the move?” Tommy asks, “You wanna come over and listen to records?”

Billy shakes his head, sucking on the Marlboro before frowning, “Gotta watch my step sister.”

“It’s Friday,” Carol points out and Billy scoffs, though his lips are turned up in a slight smile.

“I’ll be free around nine,” he says.

“We can go to quarry,” you suggest, raising an eyebrow up.

Tommy grins, “That could be fun. You down, Hargrove?”

Billy smiles, “Sounds like some hick shit. Count me in.”

Your head turns as you hear polyurethane wheels against the gravel, seeing the redhead barreling towards the Camaro. She’s got this pissed off look on her face and Billy’s smile quickly falls as he hands you the rest of his smoke.

“See you then,” he says, looking at you before tossing his bag in the backseat and climbing in the front seat. His step sister doesn’t even spare any of you a look as she climbs in the opposite side. Billy pulls his sunglasses down and shoots you a wink before he reverses out of his spot and speeds off. Carol squeals and slaps your arm.

Tommy groans, “Absolutely not. Do not fuck him.”

Carol pushes him gently, “He totally likes her, who are you to get in the way of that?”

You shake your head, “I’m not going to fuck him. Let’s go.”

;;;

Carol insists you ride with Billy, so you can give him directions. Tommy doesn’t protest but you can see it on his face. Billy’s car is very clean, it’s the first thing you notice. You know he smokes in the car, he’s doing it now, but there’s no ash lingering on the dash and it smells like leather and well… man. It smells like a man. His cassettes are organized alphabetically in the glove compartment, you notice it when he asks you to pick one out. You settle on a Def Leppard album and he doesn’t have anything to say about it but he drums his fingers against the steering wheel along with the music. He’s got a six pack of beer, placed neatly next to your feet and he drives slower than you expected.

“So…” he muses, passing the cigarette to you, “Is King Steve a good lay?”

“Oh my god,” you flush, dragging your hand down your face.

Billy cackles, “That embarrassment tells me yes. If he were shit in the sack, you wouldn’t be so fucking red.”

“Why do you even want to know?” you grumble, taking a hit of his cigarette and passing it back.

He takes it and drags his tongue across his lower lip, “I guess I don’t. It’s just funny to see you turn that color.”

“Is Tina good?” you try to make him feel as embarrassed as you are.

You don’t know what you anticipated, though. He just grins big and wide, leaning his head back to look at you while he says, “She’s alright. I do most the work so I don’t know if I’d say she’s good. But I get what I need.”

“Gross,” you roll your eyes and snatch the Marlboro back from him. “That’s not how she retells it.”

Billy hums and then purses his lips, “She does have a big mouth. She tell you anything you didn’t wanna know?”

You scoff, “Yeah, everything.”

“She describe my dick?” he asks, eyes crinkling up with his cocky grin.

“Feel like I’m old friends with it,” you exhale, trying not to picture it.

Billy laughs, it’s loud and genuine and you hate the way it makes you feel all warm inside. A part of you wants to open the door and roll yourself down the cliff he’s driving along.

“I always knew girls talked about that stuff.”

“It’s all she talks about. You better be careful, I think she’s obsessed with you,” you reply, “Most girls don’t do that, by the way.”

“That…” he starts, “Or you just haven’t had it good enough to brag about.”

“Oh, I could brag,” you say, tossing the cigarette butt out the window.

Billy scoffs, “Then why don’t you? Why not shack up with King Steve? Make it official.”

“Neither of us want that. We’re perfectly fine with no one knowing.”

You don’t dare tell Billy that all you want is for Steve to make it official. You can’t admit aloud that Steve is using you and you’re fully aware of it and so deeply hurt by it but you like him too much to do anything about it. Unfortunately, Billy’s smart and he can see deep into you somehow.

“You mean Harrington’s fine with you being a secret.”

“Tommy wouldn’t take kindly to me hooking up with his childhood best friend,” you supply with a shrug.

“You hook up with him since? Or was it a moment of weakness?” Billy asks, the question makes you squirm in your seat. You don’t want to answer it so you don’t. And you don’t have to.

“Take the next left, it’s like maybe half a mile and then it’s like a grass field you can park on,” you instruct him.

“Yes ma’am,” he purrs, peering in his rearview mirror to see Tommy and Carol behind. “You secretly fuck all your brothers friends or is the King just special?”

“Shut up.”

He does, shocking you as his lips straighten up and he looks ahead intently. You don’t know why he seems upset but you’re not trying to figure it out either. You’re not gonna get your hopes up and assume that was his way of propositioning you.

;;;

You’re three beers in and you feel it, you skipped dinner because you were nervous about tonight. The happy buzz spreading through you is exactly what you needed. It’s kind of dampened when Carol and Tommy sneak off and you’re left sitting in the grass with Billy, staring over the edge of the cliff down to the water.

“Tina’s just… there,” he says and it surprises you. There’s a slur to his words and you’re sure Billy’s just as buzzed as you are. “Like I don’t know she kind of just forced herself on me and it was easy and I’m fucking bored in this stupid town.”

“We’re all bored here,” you admit, “nothing to do but get drunk and fuck.”

“Like she’s pretty and all, but she’s kind of trying to box me in and I’m not into it,” he keeps ranting and it’s odd, Billy let’s you talk and talk and talk but he doesn’t usually do it himself.

“Aw, is Billy Hargrove not a one woman kind of guy?” you fake a pout.

He chuckles, “What’s the point? I’m young and love is bullshit. It’s not real. It’s just what people say to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do.”

You can’t help but think about the way Steve looked at Nancy, like she was the reason the fucking sun shines. He doesn’t look at you like that. You’re an end to a means. Something easy for him to get his rocks off. Either Billy’s been burned or he doesn’t think too highly of women.

“Someone break your heart?”

He shakes his head with a scoff, “No one can break it if they don’t have it.”

“That’s smart, I guess…”

“What about you? Anyone break yours?” he asks, laying on his back but turning his body to look up at you.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend,” you admit, laying on your back and turning to meet Billy’s eyes.

He smiles, it’s warm and fuzzy and you can stare at him all night. “I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

“We’re a couple of losers,” you joke, giggling softly when he laughs.

“As long as we’re not idiots.”

“Love makes you an idiot?”

“Oh, it’s not a real thing, but believing you’re in love makes you an idiot,” he mumbles, turning to face the sky. “You know anything about stars?”

You follow his eyes, looking up at the sparkles illuminating the backlit canopy that is the night sky. You don’t but now you wish you did. “They blink when they’re dying apparently, and like… when we see that, we’re watching the past or something? Like the star itself has died but we’re light years away and so it hasn’t happened yet? I guess? I have no idea what I’m talking about.”

Billy laughs softly and goes silent for a beat, “Can’t see this many stars back home. There’s too many lights.”

You hum, “What do you miss most about home?”

He sighs, “The ocean, for sure. I surf.”

“You surf?” you ask, a little shocked but you can picture it, the salty water soaking his hair and you wonder if maybe there’s a chance you could still smell it on him.

“Or I guess I used to. No waves here,” he muses, sounding more melancholy than you’ve ever heard.

It makes you sad. You imagine what he was like back home. What else he got up to besides surfing. You have no idea what to say. You want to comfort him but how could you?

“Oh, food too. The food here sucks,” he laughs, “The only Mexican food you fucks have is Taco Bell.”

“I like Taco Bell,” you knit your eyebrows together and Billy giggles.

“I want tamales. I want menudo.”

These foods are foreign to you but you know Taco Bell doesn’t offer them.

“My best friend, Argyle, his mom made the best food,” he says, sounding nostalgic and happy while he reminisces. “I was over at their place like every night for dinner. My dad didn’t cook. We had like TV dinners before Susan came along and she can’t cook for shit, but I mean, she tries.”

“You can come to ours for dinner,” you offer, “Might not be Mexican food but my mom cooks well.”

Billy giggles, again, and you start to feel light headed, you want to say fuck it and pounce on him. But there’s no way he wants you to do that.

“I like your moms cooking, yeah…” he trails off and then points up at the sky. “Did you see that? Shooting star!”

You nod, you were just in the middle of wishing on it, wishing Billy would kiss you. Before the wish can even come true, Tommy and Carol come stumbling back.

“Good fuck?” Billy asks as he remains laid on his back.

You sit up and gag as Tommy answers, “Yeah it was! She let me stick it—“

He’s interrupted by Carol forcing her hand over his mouth, “Tommy! For fucks sake! Shut up!”

Billy lets out a cackle, lacing his fingers together over his stomach as he continues staring up at the sky.

“What did you two get up to?” Carol asks in a sing-song voice as she sits beside you.

“This,” Billy deadpans as you turn to glare at her. “You two fucks know anything about stars?”

“No,” Tommy admits almost sheepishly as he lays next to Billy. “Like I know the Big Dipper and shit but that’s it.”

The blonde hums in response and Carol nudges your side.

“I have to pee, come with,” she says as she stands up, reaching for your hand and helping you stand with her.

When you turn to look at the two boys, Billy turns his head to look at you. His expression is unreadable but there’s something in his eyes that makes your stomach do flips. You wish you knew what he was thinking. You follow Carol’s footsteps away, a spot hidden by trees but too far away. Carol pulls her pants down and squats, looking up at you with her elbows resting on her knees.

“Did you guys kiss?”

You laugh, rolling your eyes before you answer, “No. We talked.”

“Ugh,” she groans, “That’s all you guys ever do.”

“Maybe Billy isn’t into me, did you ever think about that?”

Carol shakes her head, “No, that’s stupid, he totally is.”

You wonder how she could possibly know that, if maybe Billy’s said something to her and Tommy when you weren’t around. But that seems unlikely. You think that if he was interested, he would’ve already made a move by now. And besides, you’re still so wrapped up in Steve. Anything you’ve felt for Billy has just been because he’s extremely attractive and that doesn’t mean you like him, it just means your eyes are functioning.

“How do you know?”

Carol pulls her pants up and shrugs, “Just a feeling. Come on, I’m so exhausted.”

“Gross,” you shake your head but follow her back. The boys have gotten up and Billy’s standing beside his car.

“I’ll see you guys later,” he calls out before climbing in and driving away. It’s strange how quickly he left but you try not to dwell on it. You can’t help but wonder what him and Tommy talked about.

;;;

Steve looks to you, his elbow is a little close to your face but you don’t mind. How could you when you just swallowed his cum? Not to mention how soft and handsome he looks. His eyes are so big and brown and pretty.

“That was awesome,” he says and smiles around the last word, his teeth on display.

You giggle and lean over, cupping his face in your hands as you kiss him. He welcomes you in his arms, smiling against your lips and pulling you closer. His hands feel nice on your waist, you melt against him and you can’t help yourself as you deepen the kiss.

When you pull away he says something that makes your head spin, “You’re so easy to be around.”

“I’m glad you feel that way,” you tell him and stroke his cheek with your thumb. “I like looking at you.”

He laughs, smoothing his hands up your back, “I mean it… with Nancy, there was like all this pressure and she’s so kind and smart but I felt like I was disappointing her.”

You hate when he talks about her, when he compares the two of you because you’re so fully aware of how different you and Nancy are. You hate the knowledge but you know Nancy wasn’t as eager in bed. You’ve got more experience than her in the field. You think maybe you should be ashamed by your sex drive and how hungry you get when it comes to Steve. But then you think about the sweet and whiny sounds he makes when he’s about to climax and you don’t care, you love to make him feel good.

“Well… I know you. I’ve known you almost my whole life,” you reply, combing your fingers through his hair. “I don’t want you to be anyone other than yourself, Steve.”

“Remember when I used to play Barbie’s with you?” he asks, grinning up at you.

“Remember when you taught me how to kiss?” you smirk, leaning down to brush your lips together.

Steve moans softly, allowing your tongue past his lips and he deepens it, grabbing onto the back of your neck. With that, you’re ready for round two as you reminisce on the night Steve snuck into your room and asked if you’d ever been kissed, how you told him no and he said he’d show you. The way he held you gently and licked slowly into your mouth. You remember how turned on you got and how you could feel Steve’s hard on in his pajamas but the two of you didn’t do anything but kiss until the sun came up and then he snuck back into Tommy’s room before anyone woke up.

He pulls back from the kiss with a loud pop and says, “Remember how I took your virginity?”

You roll your hips against him at the memory. It was your fifteenth birthday. Steve was there for the family party and insisted he threw you an after party at his house. Late into the night, after everyone had left and Tommy and Carol had passed out, Steve lead you up to his room. He slowly undressed you, kissing all over your whole body and asked if you were ready for your present. It was gentle and so wonderful and you were so sure you were madly in love with him by the end of it. He kissed all over your face and kept saying, “Happy Birthday, beautiful.”

Now, in this moment, thinking back, you want to cry. How could he just leave you for Nancy like that? Steve had made you feel so special like he loved you or something. But what sucks… is you feel it again. Looking down at him, naked in his bed all this time later. Well, it hasn’t been that long but still, a lot has happened.

“I’m happy it was you I gave it to,” you say, smiling.

“Me too…” Steve mumbles, pulling you back for another heated kiss.

He’s hard again, you feel his cock fill out against your thigh while you lick into his mouth, tongues meeting and swirling together. It’s so easy, falling back into the routine of secret rendezvous with him. As long as Billy stays under the impression it was one time, you’re safe. You can keep this up, you can keep getting this little piece of Steve.

“Baby,” he whines when you angle your hips so his cock brushes against your aching center.

You love when he calls you that. You can almost pretend he’s your boyfriend.

“Can’t believe you already wanna go again,” he mumbles, grabbing onto your hips so he can help you get him inside. You gasp when you do, wriggling your hips down and grinding against him. You keep your hand on his face as you bounce on top of him, aimlessly stroking your thumb against his cheekbone. He keeps licking his teeth and lips while his eyebrows knit together, eyes locked on yours.

You sigh softly, “S’your fault. You get me so worked up.”

“Uh-huh… me too,” he replies, eyes falling down to where your bodies meet, watching the way your pussy swallows his cock up.

It makes you smile and you want to look as sexy as possible for him, so you press your hands on the bed and lean back to give him a better view. It quickly progresses to you placing your feet on the bed so you can move faster and easier. Steve props himself on his elbows to watch, this needy look on his face; his eyebrows scrunched up with his eyes wide and his kiss stained lips parted.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he tells you, voice low.

His words encourage you to work harder, his bed springs squeak and the headboard starts hitting the wall with rhythmic, satisfying thuds. After a moment, Steve can’t help himself and starts jerking his hips up to meet your thrusts. He keeps whimpering and whining, it has you so hot and tingly all over. He wraps his hands around your ankles, watching intently as you ride him.

“Baby, that’s so good,” he babbles, blinking rapidly and it’s one of the tell tale signs that he’s about cum.

You double down, though your thighs and calves are burning from the exertion. It’s all worth it to see Steve fall apart. Once he squeezes his eyes shut and you can see the strain in his neck and jaw, you pull off of him and quickly get your lips wrapped around his cock, closing your eyes tight as you take him as deep as you can and using your hand to stroke what you can’t fit.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m—“ he cries out and then empties down your throat.

He tastes sweet, you’ve always found that strange because you’ve been told that cum taste depends on what they eat and Steve doesn’t eat all that healthy, mostly junk food. Maybe it’s the fruit, he does eat a lot of fruit. You swallow it and pull off him with a loud pop. He’s breathing heavy, eyes still closed tight as he recovers. You rub soothing circles against his thighs as you watch, smiling too yourself.

“C’mere…” he breaths, opening his eyes and looks down to you, “sit on my face.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice. You straddle his head and Steve wraps his arms around your thighs, pulling you down on his mouth. He eats you out sloppily, tongue all over and shaking his head while he does it. You whimper and knot your fingers in his hair, trying to keep your body from tipping over at the pleasure. He digs his fingernails into your thighs, moaning while he licks your pussy. The vibrations of it feel immaculate, your eyes start to roll back and you grind against his face, chasing the high that’s so close you can almost grab it.

“Steve,” you whine out, “right there, oh fuck, yes right there.”

He listens, working his tongue harder against your clit until you’re shaking above him, fingers pulling at his hair while your orgasm crashes through you. You try to hold yourself upright but fail, bending over and muffling your cries in his pillows. He lets you ride it out and when you pull off of him, he’s panting with the widest grin you’ve ever seen. You can’t help but kiss it, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue.

He pats your thigh, “Why don’t you stay a little longer? We can watch a movie or something.”

You nod slowly, “Okay… that sounds fun.”

He kisses you again before climbing out of the bed and pulling on a plain t-shirt and his briefs. You also get dressed but you don’t put your pants back on, just your underwear and then you follow him downstairs into the kitchen. You sit up on the counter as he opens the fridge and pulls out two water bottles, offering one to you. You take it graciously and the pair of you swallow them down quickly, smiling at each other as you pant afterward. Steve chuckles softly and then makes his way back to the fridge.

“Ya hungry?”

“I could eat,” you admit, watching as he picks through the groceries. He pulls out fruit. All kinds. Some you’ve never had before. He places them on the counter and you point to one.

“You just eat limes?”

Steve giggles, picking up the fruit and extending it towards you, “It’s guava.”

You hum, looking over the fruit, “I’ve like had it in juice form, I never knew what it looked like.”

Steve takes it back, places it on a cutting board and reaches in the drawer for a knife and spoon. He cuts it open and scoops a spoonful out, passing it to you. You wrap your lips around the spoon and suck down the fruit. It’s very sweet, kind of like a strawberry but also like a pear. You knit your eyebrows together as you chew.

“You don’t like it?” he asks, smiling as he slides between your legs and places his hands on your bare thighs.

You shake your head and say around the mouthful, “No, it’s good.”

After you swallow, Steve kisses you and slides his tongue along your lower lip before pushing past and rubs his tongue against yours. He pulls back and licks his lips, like he’s savoring the taste of the fruit.

“It’s really good,” he says, smirking at you and you flush all over, wanting to kiss him more but he pulls away and starts cleaning the fruit before cutting it up and arranging it on a plate.

“Come on, let’s pick a movie,” he says as he walks out into the living room and you jump off the counter to follow him.

The movie doesn’t matter, you can’t help but watch Steve instead of the TV. He looks so obscene while he’s eating it, sucking the juices and licking them up from his hand and wrist when they drip down. He seems fully interested in the film, even pauses it when you’ve finished the plate of fruit and he goes to wash his hands. You figure you should wash yours too.

When you get back to the couch, he’s laid on it and he makes grabby hands at so you lay in front of him, getting butterflies when he wraps his arms around your waist and presses kisses to your neck. This is by far the most domestic you’ve ever felt with Steve and it makes you feel dizzy and so so warm. You end up passing out on the couch.

;;;

“Hey, sweetheart,” his voice wakes you up and you panic, sitting upright.

“Shit,” you gasp, “What time is it?”

Steve shrugs, “Like nine. Why don’t you…” he shakes his head, “No, never mind.”

“No, what?”

“Why don’t you just spend the night?” he asks, shyly as he scratches the back of his neck.

“I… okay,” you can’t believe Steve thought you’d say no to that. “I should probably call home.”

“Yeah, no, totally,” he smiles at you, “You know where the phone is. I’m gonna just clean up the kitchen really quick.”

“Okay,” you tell him and then make your way to the phone. You pick it up and dial home, pressing the phone against your ear.

After two rings, Tommy picks up, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” you say, twirling the chord around your finger, “Can you—“

“Where have you been?” he asks, sounding concerned.

“At a friends. I accidentally fell asleep,” you explain, “Can you—“

“What friends?”

“Becca’s,” you quickly lie, you can tell her at school tomorrow to back you up. “Can you tell mom and dad I’m gonna crash here tonight?”

“Sure you’re not with a guy?” Tommy asks and you scoff.

“I’m not at a guys house. Can you tell them please?”

“Fine. But tomorrow we’re all going to hang out at Skull Rock. Carol wants you to come,” he says.

“Yeah, cool, I’ll be there,” you say, turning to see Steve leaning against the doorway and smiling at you. “Thanks, Tommy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You hang up quickly and turn to smile back at Steve, “You’ve got me until the morning.”

Steve steps closer and wraps his arms around your waist, “Oh, that’s a long time. I wonder how we can spend the time…”

You giggle, melting at his touch.

“Wanna listen to my Abba record?” he asks, tilting his head as he looks down at you.

“Jesus, Steve, again?” you blush, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I bet I we could listen to it like three more times,” he grins and picks you up. You squeal and wrap your legs around your waist, giggling as he carries you up to his room.

;;;

“This is her place,” you tell Steve as he drives, pointing to Becca’s place. He pulls closer to the curb and shifts into park.

“I had fun,” he smiles at you, reaching over to tuck your hair behind your ear.

“Me too,” you gush, “My legs are still like jello.”

He blushes but leans close to kiss you, pressing his palm against your cheek as he deepens it, licking into your mouth. You melt into it, moaning softly as you feel tingles rise up your thighs and heat surges to your core. You pout when he pulls away.

“I’ll see you later,” he whispers past a smile.

You nod, smiling shyly before you open the door and wave as he drives away. You make your way up the steps and knock on Becca’s door. It takes a while before her mom answers and she smiles around her cigarette, letting you inside and you walk to Becca’s room. You knock before opening the door and Becca’s doing her makeup. She gives you a look up and down before smiling smugly.

“You spent the night here last night?” she asks with a laugh.

“I certainly did,” you giggle and open her closet, looking through her clothes for something to wear.

Becca turns to you, “You look absolutely fucked, like you haven’t had a blink of sleep. Who is he?”

“It’s a secret,” you smile, settling on a pair of jeans and a white blouse. “And I slept like maybe four hours.”

“No way! Who?” she gushes, throwing her mascara down with her eyes wide and mouth open.

You want to tell her so bad. And Becca’s a close friend, but you know she can’t keep her mouth shut. But you really want to tell someone. Carol wouldn’t tell but she’d be mad. Billy already knows but something feels incredibly wrong about telling him the juicy details of your sex life.

“He’s in college, I can’t tell anyone,” you lie as you get dressed.

“Ugh, you lucky bitch!” she squeals and hands you her mirror and makeup bag. “Give me the juicy details, spare his name.”

“I went over there at like four yesterday and he just dropped me off. We had sex seven times. Seven!” you gush, using her concealer to cover up the bags under your eyes.

“I hate you! Is he big?” she asks, leaning against her chair.

You blush, picturing Steve’s cock and immediately feeling aroused all over again, “It’s long. If I had to guess like I don’t know… close to nine inches.”

“How are you not split in half?!” Becca squeals.

“Trust me, I am,” you exhale sharply.

;;;

Billy’s offering you a cigarette as you and Becca walk up to the group. You take it, letting him light it and greedily inhaling the smoke. You need it after the night and morning you’ve had.

The blonde leans close to your ear and whispers, “So how was King Steve last night?”

You glare at him before turning to make sure no one is paying attention to the two of you. You whisper back, “I have no idea what you’re talking about?”

Billy chuckles, “Look at you. Either you were with Harrington or you’re lezzing out with Becca, and by the looks of it, she’s good.”

You flush, your fingertips shaking as you bring the cigarette back to your lips. The lowness of his voice and the implications make you feel warm all over. You’re fucking turned on by it. By Billy knowing. You wish you had the guts to tell him Steve made you cum seven times and by the morning you forgot your own name with how fucked out you were. Wish you could tell him about riding Steve’s face and how you’d almost fallen off the bed with how Steve had positioned you and fucked you relentlessly. Maybe you don’t need to, perhaps he can see it.

He grins wolfishly at you, “Guess that’s how he got the name King Steve.”

You choke on the smoke in your throat and everyone turns to look at you. Billy slaps your back like it’s gonna help, like you actually choked on the smoke and not his words.

Tossing the cigarette you ask, “So what time are we meeting up tonight?”

“Eh, around eight or so,” Tommy says, eyes slanted like he sees something he doesn’t like. Billy quickly shoves his hands in his pockets and inches away from you. That’s suspicious, that makes you feel weird all over. Immediately, you're sure Tommy’s said something to him and it makes your blood boil. It could all be wishful thinking, though, you remind yourself. Maybe Tommy didn’t say anything and Billy assumes he’d be upset. You don’t have much time to think about it when Steve walks by and your group of friends, his old friends, start berating him.

Billy calls to him, “Long night, Harrington?”

Steve stops in his tracks, turning to see you and Billy leaning up against the Camaro and he gives you this look like he’s been betrayed. He exhales, looks like he’s about to say something but stops himself.

“Crying over the princess all night?” Tommy chides, grinning from ear to ear.

Steve steps closer to him, chest puffed out, “You’d fucking die if you knew what I was up to last night.”

You hold your breath, beside you, Billy cackles and elbows your side. You widen your eyes and step further away from him.

“Oh yeah?” Tommy asks, “Try me.”

Steve meets your worried eyes with his own, chews on his bottom lip when he looks back at Tommy. He shakes his head, “You're not worth it.”

He walks away, not turning back to look at any of you. The group stands stunned, but Billy looks at you with this sly smirk and Becca looks at you with persistent eyes and her mouth hanging open.

“The hell did he mean?” Carol asks, her face contorted in confusion.

You stand there, a mess of nerves like everyone knows before Billy speaks up and you don’t expect for him to be the one to save you. “I bet you hit the nail on the head, Tommy boy.”

“Yeah,” you agree, trying to save your own ass. “Bet he was crying over Nancy all night.”

When the herd of you start walking towards the school, Billy leans into your ear and says, “You’re welcome.”

You fucking hate him but also, you kind of love him for it.

[xseaxwitchxkpop]

Bad Body Image Day

Howdy! I've struggling lately with body image issues and figured I'd make a little comfort reaction for Ateez; I know this has been done to death, but I personally never tire of seeing it, especially because so many people have different ideas about how the members would react. Anyway, without further ado! Also there is more of a focus on a plussize!reader in this because I myself am plus size, but that is not to say that my thinner peeps can’t have insecurities!

Disclaimer: I, in no way, personally know any of the ateezers, so take this with a grain of salt -- or don’t, I’m not one to tell you what to do lol

---------------------------------

Hongjoong

I can see him being a little angry, ngl -- no one hurts his baby, not even his baby

he’d ask why you felt that way, if anything triggered it like clothing not fitting right, scrolling through social media too much, looking at yourself in the mirror a little too hard

he’d spend the night with you at your place and cover all the mirrors in your place (yes, even the bathroom) so you wouldn’t have to catch a glimpse of yourself accidentally

make it point to shower you in praise, reminding you that you are more than your body

would also make a point to compliment your body anyways, pointing out everything you hate and saying he loves them because the are a part of you and he has phenomenal taste in his partners, thank you very much

Seonghwa

this man is too perceptive to not notice your depressive mood

might want to take some pictures together with some cute cat filters, but he knows what’s wrong the moment you decline

turns his phone to do not disturb and pulls you into his lap

honestly is sad that you don’t see yourself the way he sees you: gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and perfect

peppers your face with kisses in an effort to make your fell better but that just ends in you crying

he then just holds you and rubs your back in soothing motions, whispering assurances in your ear

Yunho

does literally everything in his power to cheer you up

pounces on you from behind and folds you over like a blanket

tickles you in your most ticklish spots and following that up with kisses

would definitely force you to watch your favorite comfort shows as you forces you yo sit on his lap or lay against his chest

he may even force you to focus on him and by that I mean he’d ask you to do his makeup and tell you to take your time with it (gives him an excuse to stare at you and love you and tell you all the things he loves about you without you running away or shutting him up)

Yeosang

if you don’t know how to skateboard or use roller skates/roller blades, etc., he’d take you on a walk with him; if you do know how to do any of those things, he’d take out his skateboard and you’d skate next to each other

he’s a very quiet person, so I suspect he’d catch you body checking in the mirror or fidgeting with your clothes more than usual or looking over your shoulder at social media at see you looking at “prettier” people

if you can fit into his hoodies, he’d give you one with the excuse that you “looked cold,” regardless of the weather; if you can’t, he’d give you a plushie that was wearing one of his beanies (sprayed with his cologne) to cuddle with or squeeze if you don’t feel like being touched or he’d grab the blanket from his bed and wrap the both of you in a giant burrito on the bed or couch if you don’t mind being touched

basically he’d give you something of his to remind you that he is here for you, he isn’t going anywhere, and you are the most beautiful person to him (he comes off as more “action” than “words” for his displays of love, but I could be wrong lol)

would probably also offer to perform a roasting session just for you about the other members or any other mutual friends the two of you had

may even draw hehetmon comic strips in cute situations to cheer you up a little

San

cuddle monster activated

this man’s love language, or one of his love languages, is very clearly physical affection, or skinship, so be prepared to not leave the couch or the bed

again, another observant member, so he caught you doing something like Yeosang did

another one to force you to watch your comfort movies or cartoons

the bed or couch or just be an absolute mess of blankets, plushies, and pillows to help you feel safe and loved

he’d have your favorite snacks on deck, but if you don’t feel like eating, that’s okay, too, he’d have your favorite drinks -- you can argue against food, but you’re not arguing against the drinks, he won’t allow you to forgo both, it’s one or the other lol

instead of you leaning on him, he’d lean on you

you would probably be on your side or something, but he would make sure he could use your tummy as a pillow and your thighs as stress balls

he’d be a sneaky bastard and try to sneak kisses on your insecure spots -- his level of success is dependent on how much you’re paying attention to whatever he’s doing and your determination to fight him

however will respect any boundaries you lay out to him, even if it disheartens him to some degree

Mingi

he’s an extremely empathetic person and probably really good at reading people, so he probably knows before you do on a conscious level

cute faces? you got it! ridiculous antics? of course! telling you fantastical stories he makes up on the spot? absolutely!

if he happens to be going to the studio that day, he brings you along so you don’t have to be alone with your thoughts if you’re not working that day

he would show you either the mixtape he’s working on (I know for a FACT that man is currently sitting on a fire mixtape or is at least working on one) and/or give you a sneak peek into what the music might be for the group’s next comeback

I can see him wanting to take a shower with you, nothing sexual

he’d want to bathe you to show you that he genuinely finds you gorgeous and is more than elated that you are his and his only

Wooyoung

he’d another whose love language is skinship, so definitely cuddles from this one as well

kisses on your face every five seconds with “I love you”s thrown in

would offer to cook your favorite dish or one of your comfort dishes

another one with antics up his sleeve

he’d tone down his usual teasing or even stop it completely because he loves you and doesn’t want to accidentally say something that would end up making you feel worse

would try to act all cute to make you smile (laughing would make him feel better because he knows than that you are felling better, even if it’s temporary)

might invite you to join him in brainstorming pranks to play on the other members

Jongho

“want me to break this apple?” // “no, Jongho, I will not be entertained by you breaking an apple for the millionth time.” // “yes, you will.” *breaks the apple*

“part of the fun of breaking the apple is you getting annoyed.”

he does this in good fun because he thinks your annoyance is genuinely funny to him

while he’s not too much into skinship, he’d be more than happy to give you all the hugs and cuddles in the world to make you feel better while he hums or softly sings to you

probably drags you to the convenience store or a restaurant and buys you food, even if you protest with whatever insecurities you’re feeling at that moment

he doesn’t take no for an answer because having a full tummy even if you don’t want said full tummy always feels good

soft, gentle forehead kisses while holding your face

will offer you piggy rides and will not take no for an answer -- he will argue with you and roll his eyes when you say “I’m too heavy” or something like that

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Irresistibly Yours

Chapter 4 - My Apologies

Summary - Y/N Y/L/N moves to NYC in hopes for a fresh start after a nasty breakup. There she meets her neighbor, the cynical lawyer, Dean Winchester. A love-hate relationship starts evolving between them ever since they met in the elevator one morning but a desperate situation and a string of lies forces the two friendly rivals to go on a date or rather a fake date. Will sparks fly between them when Dean gets to know Y/N real and up close? Will Y/N finally find her Prince Charming in the grumpy, workaholic, divorce lawyer?

Pairing - Lawyer!Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warning - None

WC - 2551

Square Filled - Fluff ( @girl-next-door-writes's Make Me Feel Bingo); Neighbours AU ( @anyfandomfluffbingo )

A/N - A new chapter! Hope you enjoy reading this!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 <33

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Click. Click. Click.

Adjusting her glasses on the nose, Y/N toyed around with the pen in hand, blankly staring at the kitchen wall. The empty sheet of paper sat there on the table, glaring at her. It was a bit old-school, considering her laptop was lying only a small distance away but this was how she preferred to work on her novel. It had nothing to do with her laziness.

The fear of another rejection was weighing heavily on her and she was really close to giving up on her dream of being an actually published writer. However, after her little pep talk to herself last night, she had this new indomitable spirit ignited inside her. Though that spirit was fading away with every passing minute now.

Y/N dropped the pen on the table with a huff, its metallic body hitting the wooden surface of the table as she got up to make herself a cup of coffee. Now, she might not want to admit it, but her novel wasn't the only thing that was troubling her.

A stranger’s callous comments should never hurt so much but when Dean called her stupid or rather a brainless idiot, for some reason, Y/N took it to the heart. She had then come to the conclusion that he was an ass and it was futile to even try and start a healthy relationship, but the bouquet of flowers sitting on the counter in front of her changed every perception of him yet again.

Ms. L/N, I didn't have any intentions of humiliating you. I'm really sorry. I hope you accept this small token of apology.

Walking up to the counter, Y/N picked up the small, white card and read the handwritten apology for the hundredth time that day. She didn't know if she should be impressed at his tacky methods of apologies or be annoyed at him for wrecking her mental sanity. Shaking off her thoughts, she was just about to dive back right into her writing when the coffee machine beeped.

“This is not gonna work.” She sighed, pouring one cup of the warm liquid and bringing it close to her lips. After finishing her drink, she decided to go out on a walk to clear her head but just as she stepped out of her house, she heard soft pitter patters of feet out in the hallway before a small figure of a hazel-eyed girl came into her sight.

Y/N tilted her head in confusion as the little girl ran in the halls. She looked around for her parents, but didn't see anyone else.

���Hey, pretty girl. What are you doing out here all alone?” She called out to the girl, making her stop in her tracks and look at Y/N.

“Daddy says not to talk to strangers.” She said while she cautiously approached the woman anyway.

“Where's your Dad?" She smiled softly, " I'm Y/N. See now you know me.”

“Daddy's-”

“I told you to stay inside, babygirl.” Y/N’s heart skipped a beat when she heard the all too familiar voice of her ridiculously handsome neighbor before the tall figure of the man himself appeared in front of her. His eyes were focused on the little girl as he walked up to her. Dean crouched down to her height, hands gently placed on her shoulders. “Never go anywhere alone again. Alright?”

Does he have a daughter?

But she had never seen the girl before. Y/N was in awe as she saw the grumpy facade fade away when he talked with her. She realised that there were so many things about Dean that she truly didn't know. Maybe she had, after all, misjudged him on some petty conflicts.

“At least your kid was within the building.” Y/N said.

“Ms. L/N.” Dean regarded and turned to look at her. He shuffled on his feet which made Y/N raise a curious brow.

“Hello, Mr. Winchester.” A look of guilt with an underlying hurt flashed in his eyes when she didn't acknowledge him by his first name. He was very sure his effort at a decent apology had been appalling and it made him wince, thinking of the awfully cringy card he had curated by his own hand to convey his regrets.

“She is pwetty.” The girl tapped his knee, attracting his attention while looking at Y/N.

“Y-yeah.” Heat crept up Y/N’s neck when she heard Dean agree with the kid. A moment of awkward silence passed as Dean looked back up at the woman, this time his gaze not faltering making the woman’s cheeks warm up even more. “She is pretty, baby.”

“You are prettier. Look at you! You look absolutely stunning in that dress and hair!” Y/N jumped in deciding to not make the situation more awkward. She hoped that Dean was maintaining his usual poker face, but instead, the corner of his lips tugged up in a little smile as the girl diverted her attention to Y/N.

“Uncle De did my hair.” She said proudly and Y/N stared at Dean. Uncle De? Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought of him to be such a gentle soul. She now remembered that the last time she saw Dean, he had told her about meeting up with his brother.

“He did an excellent job, I see.” The woman said as Dean got up and stood up straight. “What's your name, pretty girl?” She looked up at Dean, as he nodded his head.

“Ava.” She muttered.

“So Ava, remember next time to not go anywhere without Uncle De’s permission. Promise?” Y/N said and walked up closer to the two humans as Ava nodded her head agreeing to her proposition, all the while Dean’s eyes trailed along the woman's every movement. He was the best in his profession and he excelled at reading his client's body languages to figure out conflict, but Y/N was like a puzzle to him right now so he decided to take matters in his own hands.

“I hope you liked the flowers.” There it was, subtle, but at least he owned up to his apology. Y/N observed him for a moment, watching as he was nervously wringing his hands together. He seemed nervous around her. This wasn't the Dean Winchester she had come to know in the last few, quite unfortunate encounters.

“I did.” Y/N wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. He tightly held Ava’s hand to not let her out of his sight.

“De-” she pouted, “Uncle De!” The said man looked down at his niece.

“Stay put for a moment, babygirl. Uncle De needs to talk to this lovely young lady. Then we can go and get ice cream, like I had promised.” He said, before looking up at Y/N. “Listen, I'm sorry for what happened that day. I did not-” Sighing, Dean said before he was unceremoniously cut off by his phone vibrating in his pocket.

His face scrunched up as he stared at his phone screen. Sucking in a deep breath, he let the phone ring until the caller reached the voicemail. He chewed on his plump, pink lip when his phone lit up with a voice message. Y/N had an instinct he was avoiding someone, maybe an ex. Dean must have had some girlfriends.

“I'm sorry, I was saying-” the phone rang again and Dean was so close to throwing the little device against the wall.

“I think you should take that, which seems important. And I would leave you with your work things. I was going out for a walk anyway. Have a good day, Winchester.” Y/N said and walked right past the man.

“Hold up!” Y/N stopped walking before turning around to face the lawyer. “I never had the intention of hurting you.”

“Then you know the story wrong.” She said, shrugging

“Well if we study closely, the scarecrow was actually very intelligent but he never realised it.” Dean shrugged.

“So you're saying that I act stupid.” This time Y/N wasn't offended but she liked watching him squirm.

“N-no I didn't mean that-” He struggled to come up with yet another apology. “Can we drop the subject of the scarecrow? Let's just pretend the story doesn't exist in this context.” Y/N chuckled at the poor man, making him shake his head lightly.

“It's okay, Dean. Go, get the kid some ice cream.” She smiled.

“Join me for a drink sometime.” Dean blurted out without thinking. Pressing his lips into a thin line, he stared at Y/N, trying to gauge her reaction.

“I never pegged you for a guy to ask me for a drink.” She raised a brow at him.

“The card and flowers were pretty lame, I agree…but I do owe you a drink, or maybe a coffee, whatever you prefer.” He said. He knew his method of apologising was crappy but at that moment it was the best he could come up with. Dean never was a man of many words and he sucked at expressing his feelings so it was near impossible for him to think of anything better than this, but now he realised it would have been much better if he would have just knocked on her door.

“Sure.” Y/N nodded.

“How does tomorrow sound? Ava will be back with my brother by then. As you can see I kind of have my hands full right now.” He smiled. Y/N pondered over the sudden change in her hot neighbour’s behaviour. If this was the way Dean chose to open up to her, then so be it.

“Tomorrow sounds good,” she smiled back.

“G-great then!” Heat crept up his neck as he looked at Ava, a bit flustered. He didn't know what her deal was but she always rendered him speechless or stumbled on his own words, trying to form a good comeback. Y/N had an effect on him that neither Jo nor Lisa had ever had on him. Her perky attitude made him want to spend any time he got with her. They were poles apart but Dean found a sense of familiarity in her.

“I won't hold back you two any longer.” Crouching in front of the girl and ruffling her brown hair, Y/N said, “Don't settle with anything less than a triple scoop.”

“Don't give her any ideas,” Dean teasingly warned, “I have no idea how to deal with a kid on a sugar rush.”

“Then don't shy away from asking for a little help. I had to babysit my cousin's kids many times. I know a thing or two about babysitting,” Y/N said.

“I'll definitely take you up on that if things get out of hand.” He said, “See you tomorrow night. Have a good day, Ms. L/N.” He grabbed Ava’s hands tightly, pulling her close as he started to walk towards the elevator. Y/N shook her head, an amused laugh leaving her lips. Some things never change.

“I think the cupcakes worked their magic!” Dean teased, sharing a laugh with Y/N over a glass of Manhattan. This was the first time she had ever seen him laugh. Apparently, he was a happy drunk.

“Some roots of jasmine, rose thorns, a pinch of pearl dust and voila! You have the friendship potion,” She barely made it through with a straight face before bursting out in fits of laughter.

“I had a feeling that there was some kind of sorcery involved.” He said, signalling for another glass for both of them.

“This one’s on me,” Y/N said, making Dean scrunch up his face in an adorable pout.

“No it's not. I'm payin’, I was the one who asked you out.” His eyes immediately widened when he realised what slipped out through his mouth. “Not like an ‘asking out’ asking out. This is-” Dean waved at the space between them “-just a gesture of goodwill.”

“You're adorable.” Y/N giggled.

“What?”

“I know this isn't a date. Just two friends hanging out on a Sunday night.” She shook her head, chuckling as the man picked up his refilled glass and took a sip.

Even if Y/N said it was platonic, the ungodly amount of time she had spent in front of her closet to pick out a perfect outfit would definitely make her rethink her answer. She had skimmed through her closet, trying to find the dress that said ‘just friends’ but to her all the dresses she owned screamed ‘I want you to fuck me’.

Nevertheless, she had settled on a simple pair of blue jeans and a crop top. But she had felt seriously underdressed when she knocked on Dean's door and it had opened to reveal the man in a jeans t-shirt and black slacks, staring at her with a smile on his face.

“Well duh! My first impression of you kinda sucked.” Y/N said.

“I did warm up to ya, didn't I?” Dean chuckled. “Another round?”

“Nuh-uh. Sparkling water for me. I don't want to show up at work tomorrow puking my guts out. And that while nursing a painful hangover? No thanks” She laughed.

“You're no fun!” He chuckled with her.

“I am no fun? What about you, Mr. Turn-down-the-volume?” She said as the bartender pushed a glass of water towards her and poured out another to the man.

“You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?” He shook his head.

“Never.”

A moment of silence passed as Y/N looked across the nightclub buzzing with people just like any other Sunday night. She never thought Dean would be the person to even know about nightclubs around the city but guess she didn't know him that well.

“You wanna head back home? I can walk with you to your place, be all gentlemanly,” he smirked. She liked this drunk version of Dean. He was happier, far more cheesy and funnier than his workaholic version.

“Of course. It's not like we live in the same apartment,” she teased. “Hey, you wanna hit the dance floor before we go back?”

His eyes widened at her sudden question. “No, I don't dance.” He shook his head furiously, clearly stating that dancing was definitely not on his agenda.

“Oh come on, don't be shy.” She said.

“Nope.”

“Fine! You are no fun!” She rolled her eyes, “Let's get outta here then.”

The walk back to their apartment was filled with drunken giggles and cheesy banter. “I had a fun time tonight. Apologies accepted.” Y/N said, unlocking the door to her home.

“Glad to know that. I couldn't have lived knowing you hate me,” Dean teased, “I had a good time as well. I really needed a break from work.”

“So you do accept that you work too much?”

“Agree to disagree.” He shrugged, leaning against the doorway, “Night, Y/N.”

She walked up to the man and pecked his cheek, making his eyes go wide at the sudden affection. He swallowed hard as she stared up at him with hooded eyes. Patting his arms lightly, she said, “Night, Dean, see you in the morning.”

“Only if you're running late.”

Chapter 5

Feedback is highly appreciated!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in this series!

[sopxhiea]

Sentiment

Alfie Solomons X Reader

Inspired by Lorde’s Hard Feelings

“Three years, loved you every single day, made me weak, it was real for me.”

a/n: fluff+angst mixed because i’m in the feels.

It seems as though you’re running out of time.

The room is empty while you’re laying on your stomach on the hot mattress. There’s a fan in the corner of the room, doing its best to cool the air but the breeze coming from the window does much better. Your eyes close as the record fills the walls of the room.

You sigh, finding a more comfortable position on your back while the ceiling becomes a screen where you relive all your cherished memories. It would go away, you thought, all the comparisons and the flashbacks you had once things settled down but they keep coming back to you.

It’s been a month since he broke up with you.

It had been expected from your part. He’d been away at first, barely calling and when he did arrive at last, he told you he wanted some space. The sweet man who told you to spend the night with him each time you were around had turned into a cold brick of ice right in front of your eyes.

You’d never know the real reason why he broke up with you.

He’d told you he didn’t love you anymore at first, that his heart was tired of you but you that to be a lie from the way his lips trembled after he’d said it. He then moved onto another excuse, he had another lady. It was better than the last lie but it was a lie regardless. He’d never been good at lying to you. 

There was nothing to do but leave. 

It had taken you three weeks to get over the shock of not having him around anymore and the last week was spent reliving all the memories that would not leave you. The smallest things reminded you of him, but you figured it would pass. 

Your housemate came in through the front door but you were too occupied in your thoughts about Alfie to realise. She knew you were having trouble forgetting the first man you loved, she figured some space would do you some good. 

You watched the sunlight flicker on the ceiling, its shadow chased the sunset while the room stayed silent. You’d heard things around, about how he had a new girl. She was prettier, apparently, much more adored than you were at his side or at least that was what you heard from Ollie’s girl.

The truth was, Alfie had told Ollie’s girl to say those things to you, knowing that she saw you around.

There were too many things going on in that head of Alfie’s. He was getting into extremely dangerous territory in business lately and he desperately wanted to protect you. He knew there were better ways to go about it than breaking up with you but it had to be done fast and right away. 

Alfie had never been the one to care for someone the way he cared about you and before getting into the relationship, he’d told you he swam with the big sharks. You hadn’t cared then, you were blindsided by your fascination with Alfie to realise that he was indeed working with dangerous people.

It wasn’t until they had threatened him with you that he realised the kind of danger he was putting you in.

It wasn’t fair.

You soon found yourself on the back porch of the balcony. The air danced around with your hair as you tried to focus on the book in your hands but it was helpless. Putting the book down, you closed your eyes, imagining the way he said your name each night in between the sheets you used to share.

Even though he had your heart, a growing part of you also hated him.

You hated him for being so cruel. You’d not known love before Alfie. He had taken your clueless self and made you happy, genuinely happy to the point where life would feel incomplete without his love. It wasn’t life you depended on his love but it had made life better for you. It had felt like things were right where they needed to be.

A knock came from the door extended to the porch and you saw your housemate, she had a smile on her face. Getting up, you shook your head, signalling for her to speak but it was far too late.

You saw his figure looming around in the dark corridor.

You could’ve ran into his arms, telling him just how much you missed him but the part of you that had gotten hurt had too much pride. The words that came out of your housemate’s mouth were a mystery to you as you approached his figure, brows furrowed due to how confused you were.

Why now? 

As you stood right in front of him, the light coming from the living room hit his face in flickers, showing you the new cuts and bruises he had gained. You saw the small patches of bandage around his temple but decided not to ask, it wasn’t any of your business now.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, not being able to wait any longer. He didn’t have his cane in hand which meant that he was feeling better.

“Pet, I need to talk to ya’.” he said in a softer voice than you were used to. You saw the plea in his eyes which made you nod. You murmured a small ‘this way’ as he followed you to the living room.

You ignored the comment, it would upset you further if you went ahead and told him not to call you that. You couldn’t tell him that the pet name only reminded of the times he’d chanted your name behind closed doors, or when he’d hug you so tight you’d forget the worries of the world and find yourself to be completely calm.

Instead, you sat in front of him on the table that was situated in the living room right in front of the large window you used to wait for him. You gulped, he sensed the tension but said nothing while examining your features, you were as beautiful as ever.

“Do you need something?” you asked, your voice was far too harsh with him but he knew he deserved it.

He deserved the kicks and the shouts and the shit you would give him for leaving you. 

“Luv, that’s not why I came, yeah, I need to tell ya’ somethin’.” he spoke, he seemed more fidgety than usual.

Your eyes drifted away for a second from his eyes to the room. It could be anything, you thought. Being with Alfie meant surprises and it didn’t matter that you weren’t seeing him anymore, he was still sitting at the table like he usually would be.

“Go ahead.” you spoke, almost like a small encouragement on your part.

“I miss ya’.”

There it was.

Alfie and feelings didn’t go well, he would get bothered and all frustrated when he felt the tiniest emotion but he couldn’t help but voice the feelings that had been hunting him for so long. He had to tell you.

You knew he did, you missed him very much yourself but that didn’t change things. He knew that for a fact. You just blinked at his words, not able to muster up the witty comeback you usually had. There was silence for a while then, he got to speaking again once he realised that you were too hurt to say anything.

“Ya’ know very well, yeah, that my line of business is no place for a fuckin’ weak spot.” he spoke, trying to reason with you but you weren’t even speaking.

“I’m the weak spot?” you spoke, offended in the slightest mostly because you couldn’t pinpoint what he was trying to say.

“You’re my weak spot.” he spoke, sighing once he was done with the sentence. He was tired, you could tell from the way he slouched but that didn’t faze you.

“And?” you spoke, your heart was still hurt from the way he ended things, he had been as gentle as he could be but you were still covered with emotional wounds. He knew that.

“You came to tell me that you miss me but you’ll do nothing about it because I’m a weak spot?” you spat out, not realising that your voice was higher than it should be. It didn’t matter to him.

When he ended things, you’d abruptly left. 

No words, no screams or insults thrown his way. It was the first time he had seen you that calm, there were thunderstorms inside your orbs but you’d chosen to keep that to yourself.

He needed you to shout that day, he needed you to tell him that you hated him and that you never wanted to see him again so he would hear the words and have a reason to stay away from you. But you hadn’t done that. You’d just murmured a small ‘okay’ and left his office.

He was frustrated at you for being this mature.

A sigh left his lips, eyes scanning your face for any sign of hurt but there’s nothing he can pinpoint. 

“Pet, I jus’ came to...” he started speaking but the thoughts were soon lost.

Why was he here?

You let him take his time, your angry side was a little calmer now that you’d seen just how hurt he was. He was angry at himself, for whatever reason it was and you knew Alfie’s anger was not something to mess with.

It took him ten minutes to talk again.

Meanwhile, you waited and walked around the apartment. Your housemate had left the minute Alfie came in, mostly because she thought that you would have a fight and she didn’t want to be near that. She’d seen Alfie’s angry side once when he’d heard that you’d been hanging around with the youngest Shelby and it wasn’t pretty.

You brought Alfie a glass of water and waited with a book in your hand as he tried to find the words, he was fighting with himself to come to a conclusion. He then cleared his throat which made you put the book away, he was taking his time.

“Will ya’ take me back, luv?” his voice was hoarse as he spoke, he didn’t touch the glass of water you’d brought him.

His ocean blue eyes bored into yours as he waited for an answer but you were too hesitant to say anything.

A part of you desperately wanted to, he was your Alfie after all. He’d given you the best years of your life and you knew that you’d always love him in some way or another but the rational part of your brain thought him to be a monster for being this cruel to you.

You scoffed, a chuckle soon followed.

The audacity he had never failed to surprise you.

“Why would I?” you spoke, a part of you needed him to convince you that he still loved you. And he did.

“Cause I can’t-” he spoke but his fingers went to rub his eyes, he hadn’t slept in so long. It wasn’t the same in the empty bed. “I can’t fuckin’ function, right, I need ya’.” he spat out, eyes desperate as they told you what you needed to know.

You blinked, eyes filled with confusion and agony as Alfie looked at you. He wasn’t the one for voicing out his opinions, he’d show how he felt through his actions most of the time so hearing him say the words made you feel as desperate as he was.

“Alfie, you can’t just..” you started speaking but you knew he was just as needy as you were.

You couldn’t act like you hadn’t thought about him every single day since he’d broken up with you. It hurt but it hurt more to miss him, not having him by your side had been something you still weren’t used to.

“Do you want me to leave?” he spoke, giving you the space you might need since he happened to be a decent person.

You shook your head immediately.

You didn’t want him to leave. His presence made you feel better in all senses of the world and you couldn’t afford to feel the burning in your heart again so you made sure he sat down before you spoke.

He’d stay but he had to pay for the hurt he had caused you.

“You can stay but you have to tell me what happened...” you said, eyes not meeting his eyes he looked directly into them. 

He was holding back a smile.

“...and don’t lie to me about having a mistress again. I know you don’t.” you finished the sentence, you didn’t actually know if he was seeing someone again but this would do to confirm the suspicion on your mind.

“How could I.” he said under his breath like you couldn’t hear it but you just faintly smiled at the sentence.

“And I won’t just forgive you in the blink of an eye.” you spoke as Alfie watched. His eyes glistened with amusement and endless excitement this time.

“You have to earn it.”

-----------

Tagging: @clairecrive  @parkbearum @sourirez  @vetseras​ @mollybegger-blog @itsjusttaralove

a/n: Let me know what you thought of the chapter/if you want to be tagged!! <3 I also just started uni again and it’s quite hectic so i apologise if i’m not able to reply to any messages!! 

[leerongrong]

of dispatch and jealousy.

Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: In which you’re dragged into a dating scandal with your not-so-boyfriend Jaemin and actual boyfriend Mark gets jealous.

Requested: yess!! what if you wrote a mark x idol!reader where she’s best friends with dream and he gets jealous over her being on a variety show with jaemin and she never leaves jaemin’s  side during it bc she’s nervous and he’s the only one she knows?

“Just relax.” Bright studio lights are somewhat blinding, they stand tall and loom over the figures standing side by side to each other. The studio’s buzzing with life as staff and crew members hustle around the space to prepare the stars for their filming schedule, one of them standing in front of you to add finishing touches to your makeup while another behind you, adding hair spray to your already frigid hair. Your eyes are trailing to the side, where you see one of your best friends in a similar condition. “Besides, you look prettier when you smile.”

The smile that breaks out on Jaemin’s face is sweet, the same one you always see him wear on camera, and it’s almost contagious that your lips start to stretch into one. You and Jaemin are currently on set for a variety show, sent as SM’s representatives along with a few other groups from other agencies, all of them unknown people to you, knowing none of them with only Jaemin as your companion.

“Mark-hyung agrees with me too.” He’s putting both of his hands on his waist, in a mocking fashion along with puffing his chest out and trying his best in imitating Mark’s voice. “She’s so pretty when she smiles- I mean she’s always pretty but like especially when she smiles, the really big one you know? Honestly every one of her smiles are angelic but- you get what i mean right, Jaems?”

The giggle he pulls out of you is angelic, shaking your whole body while your lips form into a smile. Jaemin’s been the only few people who could pull a genuine smile out of you, the other one being Mark Lee, your otherwise current boyfriend of 6 months.

Jaemin was the one who introduced you, claiming with a wink that, “The two of you were meant for each other.” and while you’d never been one for measly crushes, you couldn’t deny the fact that Mark had you enamoured by your 3rd meet up with him. You both had hit it off enough to write your tittle song together, the one which you used to confess your feelings to him and had hit number 1 in Melon the same day the two of you had gotten together, talk about a win win.

“You really shouldn’t day dream about Hyung here.” Jaemin’s face is up close to yours and he has a teasing smile on his face as he boops your nose along with jabbing his fingers into your stomach. “People could find out.”

Your hairstylist rolls her eyes at the two of you, clearly entertained by your jabs and nicks at each other. She adds another clip into your hair before parting on her way while your eyes are scanning the other idols, along with Jaemin, smiling politely when one of them sends a wave your way.

“Everyone! Let’s get started!”

Thinking back on the variety show you did with Jaemin a few months ago, you couldn’t think of anything wrong. It had gone of smoothly, both the MC’s and other idols had been nothing but sweet to you, some even ended up being your friend afterwards. But as you’re sitting down in your own dorm, phone in hand while scrolling down the multiple headlines and news about you and Jaemin supposedly dating, you suppose you guessed wrong.

(BREAKING) DIspatch Reveals NCT Dream’s Na Jaemin and Soloist Y/N Are Dating.

Dispatch has confirmed another 2020′s SM Couple: NCT Dream’s Na Jaemin and Soloist Y/N!

Every year, Korean news outlet Dispatch rings in by revealing new celebrity couples to the public. This year, they released photos proving that NCT Dream’s Na Jaemin and Soloist Y/N have been secretly seeing each other.

According to Dispatch, Jaemin picked Y/N up at her dorm after shortly coming back from his sold out world tour, the two wearing masks and hats to cover their faces before they went to a restaurant for their date.

Dispatch also caught the couple walking while holding hands with each other very often, in between schedules or at filming sights. One of which is weekly idol, where a leaked footage reveals the couple acting very lovey dovey with each other on set.

The dorm is silent, not one sound in the air. The clock is ticking soundly while the cooked dinner you had set up slowly begins to become cold with the amount of time you’ve chosen to scroll down your phone while biting at your nails.

user 0945: i think they’re cute with each other.

user 4790: shouldn’t she be focusing on her career first? she debuts in SM and she’s wasting her time on dating? what an idiot.

user 6905: what does jaemin even see in her?

user 4823: she’s human too! it should be her choice to date.

user 8755: they’ve been dating for 2 years? wow.. we really don’t know our idols after all..

You’re taking in one comment after the other, some of your fans shipping you with Jaemin while others are bashing at the fact that you’ve chosen to get a boyfriend, claiming you as theirs to begin with. Your heart is filled with anxiety, a feeling of everything closing in at once and you’re taking in deep breaths to reduce the amount of stress you feel in your system.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! You have 25 new messages.

[22:10] Lee MinMark sent a message.

Babe? Are you okay?

[22:11] Lee MinMark sent a message.

Babe, please read your texts.

[22:12] You have one (1) missed voice call from Lee MinMark.

[22:13] Lee MinMark sent a message.

Answer your phone. Please. I need to know if you’re okay.

[22:13] Lee MinMark sent a voicemall.

[22:15] You have two (2) missed voice calls from Lee MinMark.

[22:15] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message.

so we’re dating now??

[22:15] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message.

does hyung know about this??

[22:17] You have four (4) missed voice call from Lee MinMark.

[22:17] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message.

hyung looks worried and pissed

[22:17] Boss Manager sent a message.

Do not give any information to the press. You need to stay quiet until this blows over.

[22:17] You have seven (7) missed voice calls from Lee MinMark.

[22:18] Boss Manager sent a message.

Come to the office tomorrow. We need to have a talk.

[22:19] Lee MinMark sent a message.

Fuck it. I’m coming over.

[22:20] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message. 

hyung’s coming over to you!

[23:07] Boss Manager sent a message.

Stay calm and be safe.

Your ears perk up when multiple knocks come from the door, fast and more urgent one after the other, turning into rapped jabs at the wooden surface. It soon turns into outright banging and your phone falls down to the carpeted floor below at the sound. You’re raising yourself up on shaky feet, slowly reaching out to grab the emergency bat beside the door and tiptoeing to peep through the fish eye door camera you installed for emergencies like this.

The door bursts open and you’re yelping, swinging the bat blindly at the unknown person in your home. “It’s me! It’s me! It’s Mark!”

“Mark? Are you out of your mind!?” The bat mistakenly hits Mark on his shoulder, him letting out a groan and kneeling down while clutching his injured shoulder. “I’m sorry! Oh My God. Are you okay?”

The door shuts with a soft click while Mark’s still bent down in front of him, promptly groaning when the wood catches on his shirt. You’re shuffling around, running to the freezer for an ice pack to help your boyfriend. The ice is cold in your hands, the material numbing your fingers as you press it down onto his injury.

“Are you okay?”

“How are you?”

You break out into a fit of giggles while Mark lets out a few chuckles, the both of you stilling for a moment before you tear of his cap and mask, revealing the face of your boyfriend. The bags around Mark’s eyes have worsened since the last you saw him, along with the obvious stress lines on his face and frizzy hair from too much hair dye as an added plus.

The dorm is still as silent as ever, this time the sounds of slurping noodles are added to the mix along with the sound of chattering news outlets on TV. Your eyes are wrapped around Mark’s neck as you sit in his lap, head laying in the crook of his shoulder as he works one his hands around your waist while the other sets down the cup of noodles on the desk beside him.

“How are you doing?” He mumbles, lips finding their way to your forehead to leave a peck in place. “About the dating thing.”

“I’m fine.” Your eyelids are starting to droop, the warmth Mark emits adding to the stressful situation makes you want to fall asleep and forget all your worries, even just for a little while. You lean back, eyes flicking up to meet his when he nods as an answer. “How about you?”

“What do you mean?” Mark’s eyes are a soft brown with a tint of gold to them, holding specks of stolen sunlight in them, the kind that you’d miss just with one glance. They’re filled with a raw emotion, an unwavering gaze that sometimes you find hard to meet, along with the earth’s unfiltered beauty that is so fascinating yet intriguing to memorize. “With the comeback? Babe?”

“I mean- yes, the comeback.” You laugh at the confused look at his face, his expression looking similarly like that of a confused puppy and you’re reminding yourself to change his names in your contacts. “But like- more of the me dating Jaemin news.”

“Oh” He mumbles, “I don’t really have an opinion on that..”

You’re tilting your head the moment he finishes his sentence. You know, for a fact, Mark’s never been one to back track on his words and you’re sure the way he spoke sounded more of like a question than it did a statement. “That’s good. I guess..”

“Are you staying the night?”

Mark’s head shoots up from its resting point in the crook of your neck, and he’s staring at you with a look of wonder in his eyes that had you ducking from his gaze, mouth stretching into a shy smile as you see a smile spread on his.

“You just had a dating scandal spread about you and your best friend,” He laughs, “But you still want me to stay over? I really am glad I’m dating you.”

Mark’s hands are pinching at your cheeks, his hands stretching the supple flesh while he scrunches his nose. Your own are entangled behind his neck, tugging the hairs on the nape of his neck with a scrunch of your own nose. It was moments like these that made you fall in love with Mark, the dorky boy that had his nose pressed up against glass, watching a thunderstorm and laughing. As an idol yourself, you found Mark most beautiful not when he had full on make up, but when he didn’t. You fell in love with him when he was lying on the carpet, hair a mess, laughing about something he saw on the internet. When he wasn’t trying to impress anyone, and had taken down all the walls he built for most people.

Six months in and all you knew was that Mark’s your muse, the one you write songs about, and the one who holds your heart.

Mark opens his eyes to the sound of your phone humming lowly and you asleep with his arms around you. He’s reaching his arm for the phone slowly in hopes he doesn’t wake you up from his movements.

You have 3 new messages.

[3:07] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message.

mark hyung went over to yours a few hours ago and he hasn’t come back yet

[3:07] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message. 

is he over with you?

[3:08] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message.

lovie, answer your phone please :(

A scoff comes out from Mark’s mouth the moment his eyes land on the nickname Jaemin specifically has for you. Even before the dating news broke out, Mark’s always been a bit jealous of you and Jaemin’s bond, the people around him always thinking Jaemin’s the one who stole your heart. Jaemin, the one who’s been by your side and who knows you the best, Na Jaemin and not Mark Lee.

You have 5 new messages.

[3:09] You have one (1) missed call from “Lover” Boy Nana.

[3:10] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a voice mail.

[3:11] You sent a message to “Lover” Boy Nana.

Stop messaging MY girlfriend at 3 AM, Na.

Tapping sounds fill the air as Mark turns off your phone before placing it somewhere behind him, he’s looking down at you to make sure he hasn’t woken you up and he’s smiling at the sight of you sleeping on his chest. Mark’s putting his hands under your feet, lifting you up bridal style to place you on your bed. He’s tucking you in when your hands grab at the front of his shirt.

“Don’t leave,” You mumble, “Stay, please.”

“You know I can’t.” Mark’s bending down to press a kiss onto your forehead, cheeks warming when he sees you unconsciously smile in your sleep. Even when he wishes he could spend the night snuggled up with you, he doesn’t want you to get into more trouble than you already have. “I’ll text you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”

The room is engulfed in darkness the moment Mark’s fingers touch the lamp, his footsteps echoing just a bit before disappearing completely once the door clicks shut. He’s crouching down to throw out his used ramen bowl into the trash can in the kitchen, hands multitasking as he also picks up his hat and mask from the desk.

Mark’s looking back to the direction of your bedroom while he puts his mask on, fixing the hat onto his head. The image of your slightly messy bedhead and cute pout appears in his head and he’s shaking his head, lips parting to let out a chuckle. “One day, they’ll know about us.”

The sun’s rays wake you up from your sleep, groaning at the light that hits your eyes. Your joints and muscles protest when you sit up in bed, wanting nothing but to go back to sleep. Your legs hit the floor, slightly trembling when you feel the cold wood in contrast to your warm temperature, and you’re walking out of your room in search of your boyfriend and your phone.

The dinging from the kitchen catches your attention and you make a beeline for it, doing a slight victory dance when you find your phone on the kitchen counter right next to some chocolate you’re sure you didn’t have yesterday.

You have new messages.

[3:11] You sent a message to “Lover” Boy Nana.

Stop messaging MY girlfriend at 3 AM, Na.

[3:12] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message. 

omo omo hyung no need to be so grumpy

[3:12] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message. 

im just “dating” her not  d a t i n g  her

[3:13] “Lover” Boy Nana sent a message. 

come back to the dorms before manager realizes you’re gone

[3:14] You sent a message to “Lover” Boy Nana. 

yeah yeah omw

[3:39] Lee MinMark sent a message. 

I’m sorry I didn’t stay over! Don’t want you getting in more trouble

[3:40] Lee MinMark sent a message. 

Good night, and I love you.

[7:45] Boss Manager sent a message. 

Meeting at 10. Don’t be late.

The smile that spreads on your face is automatic and the giddiness feels like a wake up call from your previously still drowsy self. Your fingers work nimbly, tapping out words to text Mark before a text arrives just before you sent it.

You have new messages.

[8:13] Lee MinMark sent a message. 

“I fought my eyes

to stay awake.

No dream

was prettier

than the way she slept.”

[8:13] You changed Lee MinMark’s name to Lion Cub.

[8:13] You sent a message to Lion Cub.

I knew you were jealous!

[8:14] Lion Cub sent a message.

Good morning to you too. Sleep well?

[8:14] You sent a message to Lion Cub.

I did! Would’ve been better with you next to me tho :(

[8:14] You sent a message to Lion Cub.

Also that poem is just ugh :(

[8:23] You sent a message to Lion Cub.

Mark? Where did you go?

[8:25]  Pwark Ji-Ji sent a message.

mark hyung banned me from texting you for a week :(

[8:25]  Pwark Ji-Ji sent a message. 

why is he like this :(

[8:25]  Pwark Ji-Ji sent a message. 

so mean :(

[8:26]  Pwark Ji-Ji sent a message.

this is nana btw! hyung’s taking a shower rn and jisung let me borrow his phone eheh

[8:26]  Pwark Ji-Ji sent a message.

no, actually i lied. i stole it from him

[8:26]  Pwark Ji-Ji sent a message.

have a good day, lovie!! ill see you later at that meeting (mark hyung doesnt know btw eheheh)

[8:26] You sent a message to Pwark Ji-Ji.

You’re horrible, Na! Give sungiie his phone back :(

[8:26] You sent a message to Pwark Ji-Ji. 

See you later!! (Also, hi sungiie!!)

[moonlight-chi77]

This might sound kinda angsty so I hope you will do it only if you're comfortable! (ofc it doesn't have to be an angst, I'd love a plot twist! LOL) When you guys are dating but he insists on keeping it as a secret from the members and acts all flirty with other girls even when you're around... Reaction would be fine but... Is it too specific? Stupid? Annoying? Please feel free to ignore and have a nice day!

Because you didn't include it I chose a group and member that fitted the story! It's Bangchan from Stray Kids. If you don't like that or how I wrote it, please tell me and I'll change it💕

For the fans he was always honest, loving and just everything you could wish for. And he was, but somehow there's always something bad about a relationship. For you it was that you must be kept a secret, he even goes as far as flirting with other girls. You tried your best to understand him, believing that there's a reason behind all of this but you never seemed to find one, at least none that made sense. You couldn't even talk about it with someone because of course you loved him and if he wanted it to be a secret then it'll be like this.

It destroyed you to know that maybe you just weren't good enough for him to say the truth. But you managed to push this away. Everytime you were alone with him, he was the sweetest boyfriend and everything you could wish for, honestly you could understand how his fans loved him without knowing him. He's just an angel.

Still he hurt you whenever a member came and today should be no exception.

You heard a small knock on the door of his studio and walked over to the couch "Hey" Jisung said looking over to you and you smiled "Here's the lyrics" he said "Go with him." Chan said then and you agreed while picking up your bag.

The door closed behind you and Jisung turned around "Why is he always so passive aggressive with you? Did you do anything?" he asked "Huh? Oh, no it's nothing." you weren't good with lying so it was hard to answer something realistic. "Okay, will you come with me?" you nod happily and walked with him as he grabbed your hand and began to run through the hallways instead of walking.

You then entered his studio grasping for air but started laughing as soon as you had some.

"Did he ever show you how to produce? I bet not. It's a lot of fun, wanna help me?" you nod energetic "He's always stressed, so there's no time where he could show me how." you wanted to explain that he didn't actually meant any harm to you. "Don't you think that he would have taken some time for you, if he would want to? I mean I'm his friend and I do somehow understand but I understand if you're annoyed too." his words hurt you "Let it be, okay?" he nod and got your chair closer to his to show you everything.

You didn't excepted it to cost that much of time but eventually it did so when you looked to the clock again it wasn't afternoon but nearly night. No matter how far you already got with this new song, Chan would be mad.

As soon as this thought was in your mind a hard knock was heard "Yess" Jisung replied and an angry but sleepy Chan opened the door "What are you doing here?" he asked you "I searched for you, don't you always have your phone with you?" he didn't mean to become loud but he was extremely worried because of you. "I'm sorry we forgot the time while producing this song, it won't happen again." you responded looking down, which is when Chan noticed Jisung's hoodie on your body "Let's go. See you at home Jisung-ie" he said seeming to calm down but then he clenched his fist.

"Why are you wearing his hoodie?" he asked as soon as you were out of the studio "I was cold. Chan, listen, I'm sorry about that but it's no wonder I like you, I really do but you keep treating me like shit in front of everyone. They all don't understand and feel sorry. Don't you see?" you meant it deadass serious. Eventhough you loved him more than anything else, you couldn't take it anymore. You weren't one for confrontation but you had a breaking point which you were near after months of his ignorance.

He sighed "We're still not allowed to date and I really do not want any of these dorks to destroy what we have. I promise you once the dating ban is lifted, which is soon I'll stop treating you like that." you nod, always believing in the best. "Take his hoodie off now will you, please." you do as you're told while Chan hands you over one of his, it's pitch black and looks a little more worn than the navy blue one from Jisung. "It smells like you" you whisper happily "You should go home now. It's late already." once again you do as you're told.

You: I'll bring you your hoodie tmr, k?

Jisung: Sure

Jisung: Can we repeat yesterday then? I had a lot of fun...

In the same moment he talked about you with the members "She's fun to be around when you're alone. After some time when she gets comfortable, it's so nice." they all laugh about his dreamy talk. All except one, that being Chan. He really loved you alot but he wasn't sure why you did love him, he still has some way to go to love himself. But was that really the problem? Or was it that he couldn't handle a relationship right now? Was it for all the comebacks they give themselves, that there were no breaks and no escape. Everywhere they went it all was about Stray Kids. But that never seemed to be a problem, it was his dream all along. It just couldn't be the problem. The dating ban could though.

"Please don't leave me" he sang the background vocals into the microphone for the demo version of his new song, it was written in a short time span. It just broiled in him so much that it felt like telling his worries and giving someone the weight of them. "Hey Chan" you said entering his studio "You're here again?" he asks "I'm not here to annoy you. I just wanted to say hello because I'm meeting with Jisung." you said, placing some food on his table "Make sure to eat something, you keep forgetting it." you scold "Please don't go. I don't want you with him." you smile at him. "He's your member and I'm your girlfriend." you tried to reassure him and put your hand on his shoulder as he still sat on his chair. "I know but...He's been talking about you a lot lately-" before he could continue you kissed him lightly "I'll tell him I have a boyfriend today. I won't say who it is, that's your job. Stop being jealous when you're so much worse." you were sick of him sometimes but you loved him, he really was perfect in your eyes.

Later in the dorm you heard another girls voice as you sat in the kitchen, sharing some Japchae with Jisung. "Hi Hyung!" Jisung screamed happily as he noticed Chan "Hey, that's Jihyun, she's a friend of mine." you both greeted her. She was the perfect height for Chan, her body was lean but still curvy, her hair was not even a little bit damaged but fell perfectly over her shoulders. Her face was even more beautiful then the rest of her. You gulped at her gorgeous sculpture, knowing exactly that you lacked in beauty, at least that's what you thought. Chan loved the way you looked and even the other members complimented it, you still were believed that they were being friendly.

However seeing girls like her always made you feel even worse "Do you have a crush on him?" Jisung asked because of your longing gaze "Huh?" you were confused. "I guess it's normal to have insecurities but it looked like you were concerned about what she could do with her looks instead." you gulped, he was completely right "I just think she's way prettier than me, that's it." he laughed "I don't think you realize just how much of a godess(and yess he's right you lovely human being) you are." his words caused you to blush and look down. He on the other side had a wide grin on his face after this reaction from you, eventhough you already told him you were dating someone.

After hours of deep talks you decided to go get some food from a Convenient store nearby. "Does someone want something from GS25?" he asked in their group chat and got answers right away.

"I wonder why we never spent time before." you said "Eventhough Chan is weird around you, he doesn't like us being around you much." Jisung said "Oh, I didn't knew that" you whispered shocked.

"Was this girl at your dorm before?" you asked him "No, I didn't knew her either." he answered smiling confused "Why are you so interested in her?" you laugh "Oh that, that's a long story." he nod "I have time.". "Jisung, it's just that I'm not confident in myself and the rest is a secret, okay?" you smiled "It's okay that you don't want to tell me everything. We don't know us for a long time, or rather spent a lot of time together." it was weird how much he understood what you thought. "It has to do with my boyfriend. I trust you a lot but I just can't tell that anyone." his smile was stunning, eventhough he seemed somehow hurt.

As you came back to the dorms it was a weird atmosphere around, only noticing why that was so as you entered the kitchen. "Why are you all sitting here?" Jisung asked a little scared "This doesn't mean any good, does it?" Chan laughed and told you to sit down. "It actually isn't bad news at all. It's pretty amazing news." he giggled "Come to the point, we don't have time to listen to your giggles." Minho said causing the member and you laugh. "Okay, I just want to say I didn't told anyone here because I was afraid you were going to leak it but I can't hold back no more. Y/n and I are together." he said making you gasp "You could've warned me!" you whined "Wait-Since when?" Felix asked "Since nine months" Chan answered, still remembering every little detail of this day. "I won guys! I told you they were dating!" Felix screamed laughing "What did you won?" you were confused "The bet. We had a bet, they said he really didn't like you but I knew better!" Chan raised his eyebrows "You guys are making bets over us? And I thought we were a family?!" he said dramatically resulting in making everyone laugh really hard.

"Let's go" he said to you, pulling you to his room "I thought you were too afraid to tell them?" he smiled "You are more important than that, I'm sorry it took me so long to realise.". You didn't even care about the girl nor the last months anymore as you dreamed too long of this moment to not enjoy it completely now.

[k-llama-llama]

The New Stylist

Stray Kids AU: 10th member

Tori x Stray Kids

Tori remembers why she has never let Momo or Sana be involved in her life choices.

A/N: Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are closed, but your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“You have such pretty hair.” Sana sighed. “It’s so fluffy.”

Tori raised an eyebrow. “Thank you? I think it’s just nice because I haven’t dyed it in a while so it’s still healthy.”

“You’re doing black hair for the comeback?” Momo asked, hovering in front of Tori. “I think I want the pink lipstick.”

Tori was visiting their dorm, and Sana had just come back from a shopping trip that resulted in a huge bag of new makeup. Tori, who had stopped by to bring them cinnamon buns, had been enlisted as her model to test it all out. So here she was, sitting on the floor of Momo’s room as they did her makeup.

“The pink?” Sana looked disgusted. “She’s too pale for that. Give her the purple one.”

“Eonnie, I told you. I have to go to a meeting right after this. I can’t have bright purple lipstick.”

“It’s not my fault you’re about to have a comeback.” Sana pouted. “Next time can I use the purple?”

“Next time.” Tori promised. “But I really need to go. Chan keeps asking where I am.”

“Let me do your hair first.” Sana begged. “Please?”

Tori sighed. “Can I at least text Chan so he knows-”

“No.” Momo cut her off. “Because he’ll tell you to come back. And we’re not letting you leave until you look perfect.”

“Was I not perfect before?”

Momo shook her head, giving her a serious look. “We’re not going to compliment you until we’re done.”

“Fine, fine. What are you doing to my hair?”

Sana held up a curling iron, already plugged in and heating up. “I’m going to curl it, and then maybe at a bow.”

Tori winced. “We’ll see about the bow.”

“Stop talking, I’m doing lips.” Momo shushed her.

Tori kept her mouth shut as they worked, though she was permitted to continue talking when Momo moved to her eyes. Sana worked her way around her head, curling every strand into loose looking waves.

Tori’s phone kept ringing on Momo’s bed, and she tried to reach for it.

“Ignore him.” Sana yanked her back into position.

“It might be important.” Tori protested. “He probably thinks that I’ve been-”

Momo grabbed the phone and picked it up.

“Hi Chan. No, Tori’s with us. Yes, she’ll be ready in time for your meeting. No, you can’t know where she is because its a secret. Stop calling please so we can play with your group mate.”

Chan’s muffled voice came through the phone as Momo hit hang up, ending his protests.

“I’m sure that’ll go over well.” Tori laughed. “Eonnie, are you almost done with my hair?”

“Almost. I just want to curl the bits around your face.” Sana promised. “To make Momo’s hard work look even prettier.”

Tori sighed, but closed her eyes as Sana grabbed a piece from each side of her face and wrapped it around the curling iron. The heat was radiating onto her face, and she felt a very strange urge to lick the curling iron and see if it would hurt.

She heard the sound of something hitting the floor.

“Yah, did you drop my new perfume?” Sana demanded.

Items jumbled together as Momo presumably picked up the perfume. “No.”

“It was expensive.” Sana scolded. “I’m not going to share it if you’re going to break it.”

“I won’t break it. Hey, isn’t that-”

The smell of smoke reached Tori’s nose, and her eyes shot open just as Sana yanked the curling iron back.

Two chunks of Tori’s hair were still wrapped around the curling iron.

Sana stared at it in horror.

Tori reached her hand up, feeling the singed tip of her hair. On each side of her face, two sections of hair had been burnt off to be level with her cheekbones.

“Eonnie.” Tori gasped, eyes wide.

Momo covered her mouth with her hand. “What did you do?”

“I don’t know! Why did it come off?”

“Why did you burn it off?” Momo demanded. “She has a comeback in four days and you just ruined her-”

A giggle escaped Tori’s mouth.

Momo stared at her. “Why do you not look worried?”

Tori shrugged. “I think i’m laughing through the panic. How bad is it?”

Sana separated the hair from the curling iron, holding up the severed section. At least eight inches of hair were dangling from her hand. “Um...it wasn’t that much?”

Tori swallowed. “Think the stylists can fix it?”

Momo winced. “They might need to give you bangs.”

Tori sighed, nodding. “Great. I’m really looking forward to explaining this to Chan five minutes before our meeting.”

Sana held out the hair. “Take it. Maybe they can put it back on! I heard they do that sometimes.”

Momo shook her head. “I don’t think they do that with hair.”

Tori shook her head. “Does someone have a hat?”

“Yes!” Momo dug around under her bed, emerging with an oversized bucket hat. “This should work.”

Tori pulled it on. It severely limited her vision, but hid her haircut.

“Maybe I’ll tell them after the meeting.” She suggested. 

“You can blame it on me.” Sana promised. “I’ll cut off all of my hair to stand with you. We can match and it’ll be-”

“Eonnie.” Tori shook her head. “It’s fine. They’ll fix it. And I mean...I feel like bangs might look good on me.”

“They’d look so good.” Momo nodded vigioursly. “And you should probably go. Can’t be late for your meeting after all.”

Tori winked at her. “Don’t worry, Eonnie. I’ll tell them you were involved too.”

Momo winced. “Do you want some perfume? And lipstick? I’ll get you a to-go bag.”

Tori shook her head, pushing herself to her feet. “You can’t bribe me. I’ll go get this figured out.”

“It really doesn’t look that bad!” Momo insisted. “It could be like your new signature look. The burnt effect really adds to it.”

“Oh yeah, and I love how the smell of burnt hair is just following me around.” Tori nodded, grabbing her purse as she stood. “It’s totally my aesthetic.”

Sana held her head in her hands. “I’m so sorry!”

[wocfics]

Broken Record 2

Part 2

Arranged Marriage Series

Masterlist 

MYG x Poc Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff- Bipolar disorder, depression followed by fluff at the end.

Word Count: 3k+

The past few months spent with Yoongi have been...avoidable. Not on purpose of course but because he had been so busy with the comeback and you were busy running your store. You’d get home before he does usually and would cook something small, since he’d either show up or end up sleeping in his studio without, which meant you would just wrap up the rest of the food for him. You had only been in his studio once when he showed you just in case you would be wondering where he was if he didn’t come home. You would both leave around the same time every morning, either making breakfast or getting something on the way to work. You’d close down for a short lunch break, making sure to send him something to eat via takeout unless he sent a text saying that he had eaten already. 

You’d close the store around 8pm before heading home and taking a shower before starting on dinner. Depending on if he was coming home or not would determine how much you would make and usually you’d stick to something simple unless you were feeling adventurous and decided to cook something else. Although you were now living in Korea, you did cook non Korean food every now and then and even explored other cultures in culinary since you didn’t like eating the same thing all the time. 

Lately you had been into more hispanic dishes and remembered that you had Jungkook’s wife in your phone. The company said it would be good to have their numbers in your phone, especially for when the boys would be the busiest or away for long periods of time. She had sent you some recipes for the things she would cook and they helped. Of course you added in your own little things to tweak it just a little bit to your liking but kept them traditional. Yoongi didn’t seem to mind the different food either, or at least you haven’t heard him complain. You hadn’t really heard anything from him lately unless it was him sending you a text. That form of communication would have to stop soon, especially with the award show around the corner.

Right now, you were wrapping up the leftover rice and beans, putting them in a container and then going to put away the pork chops you had made in separate tupperware. Yoongi was already walking through the door and you checked the time, seeing that it was 10:45 pm. You wore pajama pants and a shirt, your hair was placed into two low braids and you currently had on a mud mask since you were in the middle of your skincare routine before deciding to put everything away. 

“How was practice?” You asked. You decided that speaking in Koran was your best bet since Yoongi was stingy but had also told you that he was uncomfortable speaking in English because he didn’t want to mess up. He has also texted you those words since he didn’t want to say it directly to you. Hearing him slide off his shoes and put his keys on the table, he walked into the kitchen and blinked a few times while staring at you, probably because of the mask before he walked over to the counter and saw the food you had wrapped up. “Sore. I’m tired and hungry. Thank you for cooking.” He put everything into a bowl and popped it into the microwave before leaning against the counter and staring more at your face. “Is that my mud mask?” He asked.

You shrugged and put away the rest of the food that he wasn’t eating. “You were barely using it, it’s the first time I’m using it.” You answered, lightly touching it to see if it was dry. “Yah! You can buy your own, I do use it which was why it was on my side of the bathroom counter. You have ten other products and you stole my sheet masks last week and didn’t even replace them. Buy your own.” He whined and you rolled your eyes. Okay yes, you used his face products but it’s only because he had fancier ones than you did and you didn’t know where he was finding all of the good stuff. 

“I only used a little and I always offer you my stuff to use. You barely use moisturizer and your skin is going to turn on you sooner or later. You’ll look like a cheese grater in a few years if you don’t use something more than just water and face masks.” You pointed out. He waved you off with his hand as you made your way down the hall and into the bathroom, going to wash off the face mask. Once you were done, you patted your face dry and finished up your skincare routine. It didn’t feel like marriage but felt more like you two were roommates, who had the same last name and shared the same bed. There were no date nights, no kissing which meant there was no sex. 

That didn’t bother you too much but the least he could do was let you listen to what he was working on or bring you coffee when he had free time during the day but then again, he didn’t even wanna share his skin care with you. After finishing your bathroom routine, you walked into the room and soon after he followed behind you, stripping out of his shirt and tossing it into the hamper. You checked your phone, going through your social media to keep updates on your family, ignoring the constant bad tweets about you now that you were married to someone famous.

You had your days where they would get to you, them talking about the way you looked or how you didn’t suit Yoongi but that was to be expected and you knew it came with the marriage. 

‘Ugh, they couldn’t have found someone skinnier? This girl is a cow.’

‘I went into her store once, I hated it. Everything looked vintage’

‘It won’t last. He’s gonna cheat on her with someone prettier, skinnier and wealthier.’

‘She’s only with him for his money. What a broke bitch.’

Clearing your notifications, you plugged up your phone and noticed he was out of the shower and dressed for bed already while you were so engrossed in your phone. Sliding under the blankets, you kept your back towards him and turned off the light once he was settled in. You couldn’t see it but Yoongi always stared at your back while you slept, seeing how your waist dipped in and back up around your hip area. He wanted to cuddle you, hold you and sleep with you in his arms but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He wanted to know more about you and he knew there was something you weren’t telling him, but he’d wait. Rubbing his face with both hands, he closed his eyes and soon you both fell asleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following week came fast, you both had gotten up early, ate breakfast before showering and heading out to the BigHit building before going to the award show. Once there, your hair, done by yourself was pinned up while the older women there in charge of makeup started on you. You were already dressed. A dark blue two piece, beaded halter top and high waist flare skirt that stopped mid thigh with a pair of blue pumps to match. They gave you a light smokey eye with blue liner on the bottom and a nude lip. You brushed down the now blonde sew in you wore with dark roots and fixed it to your liking so that it wasn’t in your face too much. Once you were done and everyone else joined, you all piled into the car and off to the awards you went to.

Of course there’d be pictures. Instead of letting Yoongi hold your waist or your hand, you just stood close to him, placing a hand on his shoulder while you took pictures. You smiled in some but for some reason, your mood was slowly draining. You kept going back to the comments about you in your head and as much as you didn’t want to, they were dragging you down. 

Yoongi noticed your mood change but didn’t say anything. He just quickly answered any questions anyone had before ushering you both into the building for the show. When he went to touch your waist, you quickly moved his hands away and went to sit down. The entire show, you blankly stared at whoever was talking and whoever was performing. You clapped when everyone else clapped and kept forcing a smile on your face whenever the cameras would pan over to everyone you were sitting with. When the boys performed, you paid a little attention, wanting to be supportive, even though Yoongi annoyed the hell out of you sometimes, he was a great performer as well as the rest of the boys. 

Waiting for the rest of the awards to be over, you stood up once the lights began to turn on and everyone began to exit. Next stop, some after party but instead of going inside, you told Yoongi you didn’t feel good and decided to stay in the car. Nobody else noticed, or they did and didn’t stay back with you. While in the car, you tried taking deep breaths and rolled your eyes at yourself. “Please, not now.” You whispered to yourself. You didn’t know how long you were in the car for but you looked up once the door opened and you saw Namjoon and his wife enter and he didn’t look happy at all, followed by Jimin’s wife getting in, sitting right next to you with tears streaming down her face that she quickly wiped away before anyone saw. 

You couldn’t pay attention to them too much, they must have left because you were still in the car. Maybe if you went inside then everyone would have stayed longer and now you were angry with yourself for getting in the mood that you were in. Why did you have to be sad now? You didn’t say anything the entire ride, staying near the window until you all got back to the building and got into your separate cars. 

You said nothing the entire ride home, your thoughts consuming you. Maybe all of this would have been better if you said no to the marriage. Maybe Yoongi would be happier with someone else of his caliber. Maybe those comments were right and you were not good enough for him and he’d cheat on you with someone of a higher ranking, better looking, a traditional Korean woman that made a lot of money and knew how to keep him. 

Once you got in the house, you took off your heels and slowly walked into the room. “I’m going to take a shower. I’m exhausted.” Yoongi spoke up and you glanced over before nodding slowly. “I’ll just go in the other bathroom.” You whispered, barely audible and grabbed your towel before going out and into the bathroom down the hall. You were in and out of the shower within ten minutes and got dressed in the bathroom before heading back into the bedroom and simply crawling under the covers and pulling them up and over your head, wanting to just hide from everything and everyone. You didn’t feel like enough and now you were mentally exhausted from your feelings being all over the place today. You were happy when you woke up this morning and now you felt like everything was your fault and nobody wanted you around, you felt invaluable. 

Three days later

Stuck in the same position except to take a shower, you laid there, the covers now tucked under your chin. You had been in and out of sleep, the store closed and everything forgotten about. This has never happened for more than a day since finding everything out years ago but you never told anyone, just that you got into this “mood” sometimes and you didn’t know how to get out of it. 

Yoongi never said anything, he just let you be and even left a cup of water by the bed. He must have gotten fed up because when you heard the door being unlocked, you glanced at the clock on the wall and read that it was 4 in the afternoon and he usually didn’t come home until much later. He walked into the room, seeing you still in the bed and quickly pulled back the covers and pulled them off the bed. “Get up, we need to talk now.” He demanded, turning on the light and waiting for you by the door. “Come on. I don’t want you laying there anymore. You haven’t drank any water, your breath smells. I’m glad you showered but you need to eat and tell me what’s wrong so I can figure out how to fix it.” He spoke more soothingly now, not wanting to yell at you or anything.

Flinching back from the brightness of the bedroom light, you slowly sat up, tears welling up in your eyes when he told you your breath smelled and you pulled down the yellow shirt you wore with matching bottoms. “Can you please, brush your teeth first before we talk? It’ll save both of us, and come into the living room. I brought food.” He walked out of the room. Walking into the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror and closed her eyes, you looked like shit. Even though all you did was sleep, you had bags under your eyes, your skin was beyond gross since skipping your skincare routine and your hair was still under the bonnet you decided to use, you didn’t even wanna know what was under it. Brushing your teeth, you were in the bathroom for five minutes, making sure to get every spot before scrubbing your tongue and even rinsing with mouthwash. 

You saw Yoongi sitting on the couch, takeout on the coffee table and a large cup of water. Your body felt weak after going three days without eating anything, let alone drinking anything. He quickly handed you the cup of water and told you to drink, which you did. Half the cup. Sitting down on the other end of the couch, he watched you carefully. “Tell me what’s happening with you? Manager Seijin Hyung said your store had been closed for three days and it’s unlike you. You haven’t eaten, your mood just...changed. What’s wrong, Y/N?” When he said your name, you lost it and finally cracked. You broke down and covered your face with the sleeves of the long sleeve shirt you wore. 

“Everyone was right in those comments, I’m not good enough for you. You’ll probably cheat on me with someone with more money, skinnier and better suitable for you and who doesn’t have depression. I’m doing a terrible job at being a wife, I fucking suck and I know you don’t like me either. I feel like nobody wants me here, none of the other wives like me, they don’t talk to me. People make fun of my store, everything would be better if I wasn’t here and maybe you’d have someone better than me.” You avoided eye contact with him, not wanting to see his face, afraid that he would be nodding his head in agreement or something. It was the opposite. His eyes slightly widened and he had more of a sad look on his face. 

He moved closer to you and turned her head towards him by moving your chin. You looked at him then looked down until he followed your eye movement and had you look at him again. “Y/N, why didn’t you tell me you were depressed?” He asked. You shook your head, balling your fists. “It’s just a part of it...I have bipolar disorder…” You never thought you would say it, although you had it, but now saying it, you didn’t know what he was going to think of you now. He gripped both sides of your face and forced you to look at him now. “Why didn’t you tell me about it? We may annoy the fuck out of each other, Y/N but you’re still my wife. We have to go through everything together and don’t think that I would leave you for someone else. I may pick at you about things but if I wanted to get rid of you I would have already done that by now. You’re hurting yourself by doing this alone, and you’re hurting your body by not eating or at least drinking some water. I knew something was wrong but I didn’t know it got this way until a few days ago. You have to tell me next time, but I’m glad I know now for future reference. Now, please eat.” 

He wiped the tears from your eyes with a tissue and let you go and motioned for you to eat. Now that you were looking at the food, you were starving and your mouth was salivating already. Picking up the lamb skewer, you began to eat. “Actually...that was mine, but you can have that one. I have more.” Yoongi chimed in and you looked at him. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled and he shook his head. “Just eat. Please.” He grabbed your cup and went to refill it with water. 

You ate rice, the tteokbokki he bought and the bulgogi beef. You put down your chopsticks and took the water from him when he handed you the cup and drank it all down. Holding it in your hand, you looked at him, seeing his honey blonde hair that he was now pushing away from his eyes and his bare face, you leaned over and hugged him, resting your head on his shoulder. “Come on, we’ll clean this up later. I’m tired and I want to lay down.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the room. 

This was all you wanted, he was holding your hand and although it wasn’t a kiss, it was enough for you for now. He climbed into the bed and pulled you along, pulling you close to him but you pulled away a little. “Wait, I don’t want to crush you.” You said quickly and he grew a look of confusion on his face. “What? What are you talking about?” He asked. 

“Yoongi, please. I weigh more than you and I’m not thin, my ass weighs more than both of your legs put together.” He pointed out. He rolled his eyes at you and pulled you down until your head was on his chest. “I don’t care how much you weigh, Y/N. I just want you to be healthy and comfortable with yourself. You’re not heavy and there’s nothing wrong with you. People just talk shit on Twitter because they know you’ll see it and get upset. We’re married, I won’t cheat on you. You’re beautiful, even if you are annoying and steal my stuff. I can sympathize with you because I get depressed as well. I may not show it but that’s because you only see me at night when I’m tired. I’ll stay in the studio instead of letting everyone see how down I am. Only Hobi can tell, but now that you know, maybe we can help each other.” 

Glancing down at you, he noticed you were now asleep. “Thanks for listening.” He chuckled lightly and lightly rubbed your shoulder before closing his eyes. This was all he wanted, you in his arms during nap time after a deep conversation. He was opening up and he loved that you shared what you feared the most about yourself to him. You reached for the blanket and pulled it up to the both of you and wrapped one arm over his torso. It may not be to other people, but this was absolute heaven for both of you.

[taejeonie]

“taehee’s birthday special

— again, english is italicized

“hellooooooo ( ^ω^ )”

it’s ty track!!! and he’s sitting on an office chair in some kind of conference room

“today is...january 17”

“we’re actually preparing for our comeback but today’s our day off,,,so i thought we should do something special for taehee’s birthday!!”

“it’s not her birthday today, but come to think of it, we never did something really special for her on her birthday”

“her birthday’s two days after christmas, so either we’re super busy, or at home with our families. even as trainees we didn’t get to celebrate properly with her”

taeyong’s looking down and there’s like a guilty aura around him

it makes czennies’ hearts hurt

“we brought her out to restaurants and she’s told us countless times of how she’s greatful for it,,,but i just thought we should give her something more special”

then his mouth lifts up into a smile as if he’s trying to lighten the mood up

“we were watching this movie one time and there was like a big party held for the main lead,,it was like a coming of age party- what was it called again? cotillion? is it cotillion?,” then he brings his phone out to check

“so it’s called a cotillion!! and i was sitting next to her and i heard that she kept mumbling how pretty and cute it was”

taeyong mimicked her, “she was like ‘ahh that’s so pretty”

“‘i kinda want one’ she said”

“so yesterday i thought, ‘oh? we can do a special party for taehee tomorrow!!’”

“like i mentioned, today’s our free day,,ah most of us. taehee had an early schedule today but that’s it and she has the rest of the day off (*^_^*)”

“she doesn’t know anything about this at all hehe”

then taeyong stands up and walks out of the room, and the only thing you can see is the ceiling and the bottom of his face

“i was in the conference room just to talk but..we’re going to the practice room and you’ll see how excited everyone is”

then before you can even see the practice room you could already hear the chaos in it

“YA HAECHAN THAT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!”

“SHE LIKES IT BETTER THIS WAY!”

“TAEIL HYUNG I THINK YOU SHOULD DANCE”

“JUNGWOO COME HERE!”

“ARE WE REALLY WEARING SUITS?”

“WE NEED TO STICK TO THE CONCEPT, MARK. IT’S THE VIBE YOU GOTTA GO WITH THE FLOW”

taeyong laughs at them, “see?”

and everyone’s all over the place

haechan and doyoung are fixing the letter balloons on the wall, along with the fairy lights underneath them

jaehyun and jungwoo are in the corner writing some speech for the party

yuta’s also writing on a banner but in a different corner

johnny scattering rose petals around the room

then taeil beckons jungwoo over near the speaker to work on a dance number

and mark is standing in the middle of it all in a phase of confusion before running out of the room, “I NEED TO GET A GUITAR”

the camera points back to taeyong, “honestly, we didn’t put that much thought into the planning and just went for it,” he giggles

“AS LONG AS ITS FROM THE HEART,” johnny passes by and sprinkles petals on taeyong, making him laugh

he walks over to doyoung who has his hands on his hips, “how’s it going here?”

“hAECHAN WONT LISTEN TO ME! HE KEEPS INSISTING TO PUT ‘BIRTHDAY HAPPY’ INSTEAD OF THE NORMAL WAY. WHY DID I HAVE TO GO WITH HIM INSTEAD OF PREPARING THE SPEECH WITH JAEHYUN??”

“SHE’S GONNA LIKE THIS MORE THAN PLAIN BORING ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’!!! WHAT ARE WE? AMATEURS??”

“BUT ITS GONNA RUIN THE MOOD”

taeyong walks away from them, smiling, and moves over to taeil and jungwoo by the speaker, “how bout you guys? what are you up to?”

“actually, we haven’t found a song...yet,” taeil points to the camera, “but it’s gonna blow your mind”

jungwoo makes an explosion noise for added effect, then realizes taeyong was filming

“oh are you filming? hello, taehee!!,” he says in aegyo, “i love you very very very much and i hope you like this surprise!! mwah ٩(^‿^)۶”

taeyong calls jungwoo cute before moving on to the next person, jung jaehyun

“how long is it now?”

“i’ve got one paragraph in but it’s just short, really. jungwoo and i put some cheesy lines in there because you know how much she loves those”

“really? give me one,” taeyong moves the camera closer to jaehyun and the latter licks his lips and runs his hand through his hair

“people say the happiest place on earth is disneyland,” he read from the paper, “but clearly, they haven’t been next to you”

“EYYYY,” taeyong cheers, “isn’t it too corny though? HAHAHA”

“the fact that it is would make her like it more,” jaehyun says confidently

“alright,” the older laughs, “okay, our last stop...yuta!!!”

he sets the camera on the floor and you see yuta’s concentrated face directed towards the banner, sharpie marker in hand

“are you almost done?,” taeyong asks, sitting beside him

“not really, i still need to make it prettier”

“what did you write?,” taeyong lets out a hearty laugh before yuta even answers, making the latter chuckle too

“ahh you guys are so cheesy with this- are you sure we’re not going too overboard?”

“when it comes to taehee, nothing is ever overboard. that girl laughs at anything, really”

then video cuts to them working and finishing on the banner

you hear a guitar being strummed here and there, mark must be back in the room

a few cuts of the video shows taeyong and yuta drawing on the banner, while jungwoo and hyuck make their appearance just to make faces on the camera

you hear the door opening and it immediately catches yuta and taeyong’s attention

“taehee’s done with her shoot, she’s on the way here right now. you have about 30 minutes,” must be their manager

there was a slight commotion behind cam while taeyong’s getting all giddy and bouncing on the floor, “aaaa we need to get this done”

video cuts to haechan in a black tuxedo, somewhere in a makeup room, “this is haechan of haechan cam with 37.5% viewer ratings ( ^ω^ )”

mark complains in the background but hyuck ignores him anyway

“as you can see, we’re all wearing suits because we’re going to hold a cotillion? cotillion for taehee”

he shows off his suit and he looks so good in it he slays every outfit haechan model wbk

mark wanders into frame and poses too

jungwoo joins in and he and hyuck do weird poses, making mark laugh loudly and hit them

the scene is cut to taeyong, now wearing his tux and walking to the middle of the room

“okay guys gather around! let’s go through the plan one last time”

they all stand around taeyong, although they have heard this plan about once or twice, they’re still attentive to listen

“taehee walks through that door and taeil hyung is the only one in the room, holding a rose- you all have your roses right?”

“yESsSS”

“okay, music is already a given so taeil hyung will dance with her first, alright?”

“let’s give a minute or two for you guys to say anything you wanna say to her while you dance,” doyoung cuts in

“great, that’s a nice idea! anyways, uhh we go by age order, meaning haechan is last. haechannie, when the music stops you blindfold her and lead her to the conference room, got it?”

the blindfold part makes mark laugh, “is that really necessary?”

“for the effect mark, it’s for the effect,” johnny tells him

“so right after we dance with her we head to the conference room, right?,” yuta asks taeyong

“yes. so when they’re in the conference room already, haechan takes the blindfold off and then mark you’re playing the guitar, right? i think it would be nice if that would be our opening”

“oh okay okay”

“then after mark plays his song, taeil and jungwoo’s dance?”

“and me, i’m doing it with them”

“jOHNNY HYUNG LEARNED THE DANCE?”

“no, we should have jaehyun’s speech first, then the dance,” that’s doyoung again

i need me some dotae content so bad

“okay, so speech first then the dance. after the dance, she blows the cake? and then closing remarks?”

“i think mark and haechan should make a speech”

hyuck: sure (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

mark: w-what (°_°)

“okay, mark and haechan speech!,” taeyong laughs and shakes his head because of how this is sooooo not planned

but it’s nct they’ll pull it off

“then doyoung does the closing remarks”

“wait then what are you and yuta doing?”

they were the last ones to get in their suits since they were finishing the banner, so taeyong didn’t get to think about what they would actually be doing

yuta and taeyong look at each other before a knowing look spreads upon their faces

taeyong and yuta, simultaneously: “you wanna become backup dancers for mark?”

“HAHAHAHAHA,” they laugh as yuta goes to give taeyong a half hug

“WE BOTH SAID THE SAME THING!!”

“boys! taehee and her manager are in the parking lot, they’ll be heading up soon”

taeyong whines, “AAAAAAAA OKAY, so individual couple dances, then conference room, mark’s guitar- me and yuta are the backup dancers, jaehyun’s speech, taeil, jungwoo, and johnny’s dance, blowing of the cake, and then doyoung’s closing speech”

“yOU FORGOT MARK AND HAECHAN’S SPECIAL MESSAGES!”

“HYUNG!!”

“okay blowingofcakemessagesfrommarkandhaechanandthendoyoungclosingremarks”

taeyong said it so fast almost nobody caught what he was saying

“oKAY LET’S DO THIS LET’S GO!!”

“LET’S GET IT”

“ah i’m getting nervous though”

“mark hyung it’s just noona she won’t bite”

then the video fades to black

you could hear heels click against the floor and then the door of the practice room is opened

the only light comes from outside and you could see the silhouette of taehee and her manager

“i go in?”

“yeah”

“but the lights are off! (；＿；)”

“it’s okay, they’ll turn on soon. just don’t open the lights, okay?”

“aaaa you’re scaring me,” she goes inside and the manager closes the door slowly

taehee’s bundle of nerves go away when the fairy lights turn on slowly

the lights are bright just enough to reveal her smile and taeil standing on the opposite side, holding a rose

a slowed version of every breath you take by the police starts playing as taeil walks over to her

meanwhile, taehee’s openly cringing on her side and questioning what was happening

“aAAAAAndjakd wHat’S tHis?”

she laughs when taeil does a polite curtsy and hands her the rose

she thanks him for it while taeil puts his hand out for her to take

and once their hands are together, taeil guides taehee’s other hand, the one holding the rose, to his shoulder and puts his hand on her waist carefully

taehee smiles because of their height difference

almost non-existent

“taeil oppa, what’s this for?,” she chuckles

“can’t you read? it’s for your birthday,” taeil teases her

he nudges his head to the side and that’s when taehee reads ballon letters spelling out ‘birthday happy’

she giggles again

“but it’s not my birthday though...?”

“we kind of felt sad that we do nothing special for your birthday....i’m not implying something bad but we just wanted to do it for you”

“ahh,” taehee nods

taeil remembers the time limit doyoung set for them and sweats nervously

‘ahh the cringe’ he thought

“i’m gonna say something alright?”

“go on”

“uhh remember how nervous you were? before debut?”

“yeah...”

“you were the most nervous out of all of us, and i felt that. i understood you,,,so i want you to know now that you are and will be forever part of this team. the reason why you’re here is because of your talent and skills, okay? everyone knows how hard working and selfless you are, so you deserve it. don’t mind what the others say, yeah? we’re always here for you, i want you to remember that”

and taehee’s heart is swelling

she and taeil never got to do any of those deep, heart to heart talks

and this just makes her go more uwu at taeil

“yeah,” she mumbles, “i will”

taeil smiles and thinks his time is up, so he makes taehee twirl in her place before hugging her and moving out of the room

johnny was the one next to enter the room

and he was just doing some kind of waltzing from the door to taehee it really made her laugh

“this is for you, milady,” he hands her the rose

“thank you, noble sir”

johnny leads her like how taeil leaded her hands, but because of the height difference, taehee’s hand rests on johnny’s upper arm instead of his shoulder

“were you surprised?,” johnny asks

“yeah, really. i thought i could just eat or watch a movie with you guys when i get home haha”

“do you like it so far”

“of course,,,this is much much better than food or a movie”

johnny raises his brow at her, just in time for her to ask, “but is there really food though?”

he chuckles, “of course, what’s a party without food right?”

a few moments pass with them just swaying to the song, both of them enjoying the ambience of the room

“are you,,are you gonna say something like taeil oppa?”

“hmm i was thinking i would, but i think i’ve told you everything i wanted you to know”

that’s right

johnny and taehee’s relationship was like this from the beginning

whenever taehee did something johnny was proud of, he would tell her straight away

and the same goes for johnny

taehee felt like johnny could read her whenever he wanted, but that was like a silent agreement between them

“i mean, if that’s okay with you,” johnny continues

“of course,” she smiles up at him

they sway again for a few moments, she and johnny singing along to the lyrics from time to time

johnny gives taehee a spin, “im just gonna say again that i’m very thankful, and proud of you taehee. you’re the best”

that was the last thing johnny said before he exited the room, leaving a dimpled smile on taehee’s face

the next song comes on, and it makes her cringe so hard she crouches to the floor in her heels

the next person who comes in has the same reaction as her, letting out a little shout before entering the room

as christina perri’s a thousand years continue to play in the practice room, taeyong composes himself and gives taehee a rose, a wide smile on both of their faces

“do you like it so far?,” taeyong asks her once their hands are in place

taehee nods excitedly before realizing the look in taeyong’s eyes, “you planned this, didn’t you?”

“yeah,” they both laugh

“i heard you say you wanted something like this when we were watching a movie the other day, so i thought why not”

“ahh”

“im sorry we couldn’t give you the best birthdays for the past years,” taeyong frowns

“it’s okay,” she squeezes his hand, “as long as you guys are there with me, i’m already happy”

she makes taeyong laugh, “i’m serious!! it sounds cheesy but i mean it!!”

“i know, i know. i was just flustered”

taehee playfully rolls his eyes at him, “you’re always flustered”

“couldn’t you have at least given me a tiny heads up? you guys are dressed in suits and i’m just wearing a simple dress haha”

“you’re pretty in whatever you wear, taehee. we just wanted to make this really special for you”

taehee pouts at him and her eyes water a bit, “stop saying that or you guys are gonna make me cry- you know how i cry easily!”

taeyong laughs as she continues, “taeil oppa had a message for me and johnny oppa was so sweet and you’re so sweet,,all of you are”

“don’t cry,” taeyong chuckles, “you’re still a baby”

“i knowww (*´ω｀*)”

and taehee was trying to act cute to keep her tears from falling

she is babie we must protect

“i want you to live a healthy life,,i want you to be happy always. i’m so proud of you, okay taehee? i’m very thankful for you”

taehee nods, playfully she adds, “the music’s making me cry also- who’s playlist is this?”

“jungwoo and haechannie set it up”

taehee giggles

she knows the next member is gonna come in soon when taeyong removes his hands from their place and opens his arms for a hug

they share a tight warm hug until taeyong rubs her shoulder and they both let go

“thank you,” she tells him

a few moments tick by and yuta is already in the room

looking as handsome as ever

with that award winning healing smile of his

instead of doing it like the first three, yuta wraps both of taehee’s arms around his neck and pulls her closer by the waist until his head is on her shoulder

she laughs softly and yuta asks, “how’s your schedule? did you have fun?”

“it was fun! i took photos with ice cream so that’s a bonus”

they weren’t swaying like the other three, no

more like waddling

you know how dads make their toddlers stand on their feet and they waddle when they walk

that’s like yuta and taehee except she’s not standing on his feet

she’s wearing heels ouch that would’ve hurt

taehee hums and pulls away a bit later, making eye contact with yuta

“you kind of remind me of my dad”

yuta smiles amusingly, “really?”

“yeah,,,the way you both act around me. you’re like a dad”

“i am?”

“no, wait actually i’d rather have you as an older brother than my dad. but yes you are like my dad,,in some way or another”

yuta chuckles again before taehee puts her head back on yuta’s shoulder

“this is nice,” she comments

“mhmm”

yuta knows his time is almost up, he lets out a sigh

“thank you”

“hm?,” taehee hums

“for simply existing. i admire your presence and i want us to be friends for a long time, until we have our families and until we’re old. you’re a great person, taehee. thank you”

yuta pulls away and he sees a tear slip down taehee’s face making him giggle, “why are you crying?”

he’s mocking her, and she knows

“i cry easily, what else!,” she laughs

but she laughs harder when yuta pulls out a tissue from his suit pocket

“here,” they’re both laughing at this point

“you knew i would cry!!”

“you’re a baby ヽ(´ー｀),” he pats her head

yuta lets out a breath from laughing with taehee, “i’m gonna go now”

the latter pouts and she goes into his arms to give him a hug, “thank youuu”

“i love you!! mwah!,” yuta gives her a heart and he’s out the door

another slowed version of a song plays, and this time it’s one of taehee’s favorite songs

somebody else by the 1975

“your fifth rose is here!,” doyoung says when he enters the room

taehee smiles as he walks closer, handing her the rose and swaying with her like the first three did

“oppa, you look handsome in a suit,,both angles”

“i know,” he tells her jokingly

“you’re thinking about the food aren’t you?,” doyoung reads her

“is there cake?”

“of course, we got chocolate. there’s also 자장면,” doyoung smiles widely when he notices a glint in taehee’s eyes when he metioned 자장면

“when did you prepare all of this?,” taehee asks, amazed

“i think taeyong had this idea since last night, right when you left we already started preparing ( ◠‿◠ )”

“i like it. it warms my heart, really”

“i’m glad you like it then,” doyoung smiles

“you’re eating your meals, right?”

“yes oppa”

“resting well?”

“yeaaaaa”

“sleeping on time?”

“this is why your contact name on my phone is ‘doyoung eomma’ and not ‘doyoung oppa’”

“i just want you to be healthy, always. try not to get sick, yeah?”

taehee nods, “only if you do the same”

“let’s live long lives”

“let's live long lives,” she repeats with a smile 

dancing with doyoung ended before she knew it, and next thing she knew

a dazzling jaehyun appeared before her 

“my juliet,” he gives her the rose 

“thank you, romeo”

“how are you feeling right now?,” jaehyun asks her once her hand is in his 

“i'm happy...and grateful, for all of you”

“well that’s nice to hear (＾▽＾)”

they both let out soft laughs 

they're so cute :( now that they’re just basking in each other’s presence 

like johnny, jaehyun preferred to simply enjoy the moment than talk 

half because he’s shy 

at one point taehee asks him if he’s cut his hair, to which he denies 

there was more skinship than talking in their relationship 

not in a romantic way but platonically,,,or you could say sibling-y

although some shippers hope for a relationship, most of them are gushing over the brotherliness of jaehyun 

some say maybe it’s because jaehyun’s an only child 

the same goes for taehee,,,she wanted an older brother actually 

but now she has more than one lmao

before jaehyun leaves, he ruffles taehee’s hair and wishes her a happy birthday 

next is jungwoo!!

he’s kinda nervous but brushes it off anyways cause it’s taehee

if anything, they’ll both say or do something weird that’ll make them laugh 

jungwoo had a concept when he entered

the faraway prince courting the popular princess

basically he just kept calling her princess the whole time 

“oh is that your concept? haha”

“i’ve heard of your intelligence from many”

“your cunningness”

“your kind and compassionate heart”

“your witty mouth”

“mY WHAT HAHAHA”

“your diligence and hard work inspires many, including me”

unlike the ones before jungwoo, he ACTUALLY lead her to every corner of the room 

like ballroom waltz or something 

“did you eat before getting here?”

“no :((”

“at least you’ll eat with us, right? eat lots of food later, okay?”

then they were just sharing some inside jokes 

(you can't hear them because they're slightly whispering iT’S THEIR THING YOU KNOW)

you know their dance is over when jungwoo grabs taehee’s face and gives her a long kiss on the cheek

they curtsey to each other and jungwoo is off, giggling 

the next song got taehee like :OO

“i love this band!! (っ˘ω˘ς )”

“going out tonight, changes into something red”

that’s right it’s one direction baby 

mid-verse mark enters the room and when they meet eyes they both smile 

mark lets taehee take the rose first before he clears his throat, making taehee giggle 

“YOURE MAKING THIS AWKWARD”

“IM NOT I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS”

*insert spongebob meme* iM nOt I jUsT dONt kNoW hOW To dO tHiS but takes her elbows so she can wrap her hands around his neck and he puts his hands on her waist

“is this okay,” mark let out a breath when taehee nods 

a few seconds swaying together, mark opens his mouth to say something but shakes his head and closes it 

it looks kinda comical if you're asking me 

taehee: what is on with this boy 

she chuckles, “sTOP MAKING THIS WEIRD!”

mark throws his head back as he playfully groans, smiling 

“it’s just me, relax”

“okay,” and mark looks her in the eye 

markhee stays are thriving ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ

“remember when,,we came into the company?”

“yeah, why?”

“you were how tall? like this *gestures to his hip* tall?”

taehee makes a face before gently kicking his foot

“you're exaggerating,” mark laughs, “shut up im like,,your height now”

“mY hEiGHt??,” he laughs harder 

taehee sweetie theres kind of like,,a height difference

but its her ‘birthday’ so mark just laughs it off 

“what did you do in your schedule earlier?”

“i ate ice cream”

“really? like for the photos”

“yeah, there was a lot of sweets. they had sour belts too”

“you must’ve had a lot of fun then”

“i did (๑˘︶˘๑)),,,but it would nice if you guys would be there too,” mark nods at this 

then mark’s got a look in his eyes that made taehee say, “spit it out”

he licks his lips before telling her not to cringe 

and she's somewhat got an idea of what he's gonna do, so she nods and giggles anyway

mark: *clears his throat* are you from seoul?

taehee, giggling: why?

mark: because i think you're my seol-mate

they both laugh, “okay thats kinda good, i like it”

“kinda good?”

“yea you need to get to my level mr. mark lee”

“sure, 선배님”

then theres a sudden knock on the door which startles the both of them

“thats haechan, isn't it”

“sadly,” they both laugh 

at this point czennies are convinced that they are twins 

like the timing of when they looked at the door?? so in sync

their smiles too ;( 

so before mark leaves, he opens his arms for a hug, ruffling her hair when they part 

and alas, a wILD DONGHYUCK APPEARS ＼(＾▽＾)／

unlike the others, hyuck immediately wraps his arms around taehee’s shoulders and pulls her into a tight hug

laughing, she wraps her arms around his waist and leans her head on his shoulder 

“i love you,” hyuck starts as he sways the both of them 

“i love you too”

“...if we’re still unmarried by the time we retire, i'll marry you okay?”

“you’re still on about that?,” taehee chuckles 

“we’re marrying each other,” he says when she doesn't answer 

later on taehee’s like (・・)

“is this *sniff* is this the cologne i gave you *sniff sniff*”

hicks hums, “it’s about to run out”

“really? you must’ve liked it then..it smells good”

he pulls away and theres this look of disbelief in his face 

like you know that face when he's teasing the members 

its like that uwu he's so cute i love him 

“you don't..you don't know what it smells like?”

“i was trying to test out my skills so i just judged it by the case and the name”

then he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek like 

hyuck: this girl i swear-

“i guess it worked then,” he just goes along with her cause she's cute 

and he loves her 

so they danced until the song was done 

and hyuck was like ‘blindfold time!! ^-^’

so when he pulled out a blindfold taehee went: oh shit what is that 

her face kinda said everything so hyuck laughed and just told her to go along with it 

she was vvv nervous,,you can tell her grip on hyuck was like really tight 

“oW OW CALM DOWN!! geez HAHA”

when they entered the conference room, taehee immediately said “IS THAT CAKE??”

the other members had to keep their chuckles to themselves until taehee sat down 

hyuck gave her a very wet sweet kiss on the cheek before removing her blindfold 

so when taehee opened her eyes, hyuck took the seat beside her 

on her other side was yuta, taeil, then jungwoo 

meanwhile beside hyuck was johnny, mark, and taeyong 

doyoung was standing in the front with a mic 

“woah woah woah whats this”

and her eyes traveled up to the banner yuta and taeyong made 

in glittery shining letters, it read “OUR PRECIOUS BABY PUMPKIN TAEHEE *heart*”

“BABY PUMPKINNNCDC,” taehee was laughing at the cringiness

then when mark, yuta, and taeyong came to the front she immediately groaned and let her head bump on the table 

“this is gonna be so corny”

“wise men say,,”

“AAFGGGHGHJG”

“only fools rush in,”

“AAAAaaaAaAAaAAAAaaA”

“but i can't help,,” taehee sighs instead and gives in 

at the end of the day, who could resist the mark lee

no one 

“falling in love with you,,” at this point they're all singing along and swaying their arms

meanwhile yuta and taeyong kept laughing at the back 

at one point they slow danced with each other, making the members laugh

they all clapped when mark was finished yay!! 

taehee stood up to give mark a bro hug and a pat on the head 

doyoung: *tap* *tap* mic test mic test 1, 2, 1, 2

“okayyy welcome to taehee’s birthday bash!!”

“BiRtHdAy bASh??!! (´〇｀)”

“first up, opening remarks to be led by jaehyun”

“WOWOWOOWOW *claps hands excitedly*

you notice the grins on the boys’ faces were so happy bc taehee was so responsive yet genuine with her actions 

they’ve truly hit the jackpot with this one 

jaehyun: does the bare minimum such as clearing his throat 

taehee: uR SO CUTE <3

“the sun on a lovely beach shines brightly”

“oooo”

“the early birds chirping happily as they go from flower,,to flower”

“birds go to flowers?”

“mark shh”

“the waves calm, as the kids play on the sand”

“all of this..is because of jeon taehee’s existence”

“wHABJSNAJ”

“the earth will never be at peace without you, so we commemorate this day, december 27,”

at this point everyone’s wheezing 

“its not even december 27 hhhh”

the fact jaehyun’s not breaking character makes it even funnier 

“to celebrate,,the day jeon taehee was brought to this world”

“people say disneyland is the happiest place on earth,”

“BUT CLEARLY THEY’VE NEVER BEEN NEXT TO ME :D”

“but clearly they’ve never been next to you”

taejae soulmates <3

“aAAAA I LOVE THAT HAHAHA”

“it mustve hurt when you fell from heaven, you truly are an angel in disguise”

jaehyun dramatically looks up while a hand is in the air, “but the member’s are here to heal you with our love!! APPLAUSE”

*cue standing ovations and whistles from the members*

meanwhile taehee’s clutching her stomach from laughing too a hard 

“this is so cheesy oh my god *wHEEEEZE*”

next up is taeil, jungwoo, and johnny's dance number!!

the vibe’s similar to the dance they did at yuwin’s bday special 

but this time it’s to britney spears’ “

so they've got taehee laughing a lot more 

to the point she CANT SEE because her eye smile ^-^

she's so precious czennies want to give her the world 

taehee kept shouting that they were cute esp taeil he looks so tiny in between these giants 

when they're done taehee’s in literal tears, “aa i love u guys so much”

blowing of cake yay!!!

the members are laughing because of the look in her eyes 

taehee and food a new ship <3 

hyuck’s cover off happy birthday makes a powerful comeback again 

mark’s just shaking his head at him 

so while they're all distributing slices of cake 

markhyuck takes a stand at the front and they look like they're about to make a toast 

lmao they are

“so this is for our lovely taehee”

“joanieee”

“you've worked hard along with us on this beautiful journey,,you never show us that you're tired and you are consistently selfless, compassionate, and kind with all of us,, we can never ask for a better sister”

mark: LOVE YOU *throws a finger heart*

even if that was short, taehee still finds her self smiling from ear to ear 

god she loved these boys so much 

closing remarks time!! aka picture time 

hyuck and yuta were getting playful with taehee so they swiped a but of icing from the cake then onto her nose and cheek 

she just nose scrunched at them uwu they love her so much 

aaaaa this is so long 

i cannot express enough how much the members love taehee

she has been their friend, sister, mentor, cheerleader, etc. for so many years 

they love her to death 

so as they all said cheese for the photo, their love for each other shines brightly through their eyes and smiles 

in this journey, it’s all or nothing <3 

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

NOTE: Most Japanese schools run Monday through Saturday. Also, thanks for keeping up with this story, despite my choppy update schedule!

Saturday slipped by awkwardly. That really was the best description for it, terrible as that reality was; the whole situation felt awkward.

The night before, they had parted ways at the train station. A tacit agreement had been reached that too much had happened in a single day, and they both needed time to process. They texted a few things about being glad they hung out that day, or what they were eating for dinner, but mostly they kept to themselves.

Rise had been hoping the next day would find them magically falling back together and not having to worry about how intense things had been in Shinjuku. Alas, they avoided each other. Neither seemed to want to be the one to reach out and initiate contact. Maybe they had told themselves that they were over it but clearly it was another matter to put so much raw emotion on display, then face the consequences. Plus, Ai had been very wasted and probably felt embarrassed she let it lead to so many things she definitely had not been planning for their outing. Rise could completely understand that.

But when school let out, she tried to screw her courage to the sticking-place and go find her maybe-girlfriend. Boyfriend? The whole thing still confused her, but she knew enough now to accept that said confusion did not at all mean she was disinterested. Far from it. She just had to figure out how deep her interest lay.

Ai was gone already. Probably to Shinjuku, or Okina, or Okinawa for all she knew. No new texts, either; she finally summoned her courage and sent a simple 'What are you doing?' but got no reply.

"Figures," she muttered as she stared at the screen, walking slowly toward Marukyu. "Why does she have to disappear on meeeee?"

"Who?"

"AAAH!" she gasped out, jumping into Chie's arms. The startled girl staggered and yelped as she tried to support Rise's weight, and of course, in the end they went down like a ton of bricks.

"HEY!" Hissing in pain, she shoved at Rise and said, "Get off! What are you DOING?!"

Rise hissed as well as she picked herself up. "Oww, my knee! I'm- oh God, where's my phone? What happened to my phone?!"

The two of them scrambled around on the side of the road, trying to figure out where the piece of vital technology had disappeared to. Once or twice, they even rolled down the riverside hill thanks to how slippery the light rain had made it earlier. Eventually, Chie turned up with it, and they sat panting with relief on the slope for a little while, trying to recover from the unexpected flurry of activity.

"You were… totally off in your own world, dude!" Chie panted, staring up at the clouds. "What the hell? You didn't even… hear me calling to you!"

"Ahh… hahh… I… sorry…" Chie was definitely in better shape than her. But she did finally manage to swallow and roll over to face the other girl, trying to prop her head up on her arm. "I've been… hoping Ai would text me back, and… my brain is…" She made a vague motion off into the distance.

"Yeah! Yeah, I get that one. For sure, believe me."

"Really? Because… you and Yukiko?"

"That's…" She did grimace, but finally just said, "Whatever."

"HAH! I knew it!"

"What's your problem, if you don't mind me asking? With Ai. Did you have a fight or something?"

"N-no, not really… a fight." Another deep breath to brace herself, and because she was still a little dizzy. "She told me something yesterday that… I mean, it has me really confused, and I just kinda wish somebody would tell me what to do and how to feel."

Chie snorted. "Thought Ai was really good at that. But okay, what happened?"

Rise told her, as briefly as she could. Which didn't end up being very brief. By the time she had explained the whole situation, they were stuffed into the back corner of Aiya, a couple of bowls of noodles and some sodas in front of them. The hot food would help them dry off after rolling around on a damp hill. Chie had plowed through a lot more of hers considering she was mostly listening and could let her mouth focus on that sweet sweet beef she coveted so much.

"Lembge geddiz straig."

"How about I let you swallow first?" Rise said with a wince. "I'm sorry, I just really can't understand you."

Chie nodded, chewed hard a few times, and gulped. "Ah! DAMN, do I love meat! Okay… what were we talking about?" When Rise let out an exasperated noise, she chuckled and said, "Just kidding. But yeah… I guess Ai's a guy. Weird."

"Right? Because I mean, look at her. How can she be a boy?!"

"Yeah! Like, I get what you were saying, about like… crossdressers on TV and junk. Some of them look like hell and some of them are really cute, but you can still tell. But Ai is like… he's a chick! Really, really a chick, like us! I'd never think…"

"Yeah," she agreed with a dejected sigh. "And at first I thought she was lying, Chie-chan, or trying to play a really mean joke on me, but now I don't think so. She was dead serious. And the way she talked about how hard it was for her to be herself when she was being told by everyone else she had to 'be manly'? I get that. Not that exactly but I know what it's like for everybody to be looking at you one way and wishing they could just… listen."

The tomboyish senior frowned down at her bowl as she stirred its contents with her chopsticks. "Pretty rotten. I mean, you weren't there for me having to confront my Shadow, but I used to have a lot more issues with that, too. I was jealous of Yukiko. That's stupid, she's my best friend! But she's so beautiful; I mean, you know, you've seen her. And I'm this fugly pile of dog doo."

"Aww, you are not," Rise said with a frown. "Don't say that."

"Nah, it's okay now. I mean, I know I'm not hideous but I'm not jealous because Yukiko is prettier anymore. That's just, like… I'm lucky to know her, and happy she gets attention. She deserves it." When she looked over and saw Rise's frown had completely turned upside down, she ducked her head. "Sh-shut up, I'm just happy for my friend!"

"Uh huh. But yeah… we've all been through a lot, and seen some really crazy stuff. I don't know why I freaked out so much about Ebihara now; so what if she is a boy? She's still a hotter girl than any of the rest of us will ever be, regardless."

Chie pointed her chopsticks at the idol. "Hey, watch it! You're lumping Yukiko in with the rest of us, and I know you're not trying to say she isn't the prettiest girl in Inaba!"

"Hey, hey, easy, Bruce Lee! Oh — right, did you get it?"

"Get what?"

"N-nothing." That was close; Yukiko would have had every right to be angry with her if she spilled the secret before its time.

"Riiight. Anyway, I… man, I'm really sorry for getting so cheesed off."

"You should be. I mean, you know I wasn't trying to diss anyone, I was just commenting on how pretty my girlfriend is. Boyfriend. Whatever."

"Yeah, that's gonna be a mind-fuck for a little while," Chie snickered as she took another huge bite. Where she put it all, Rise would never know. "So you didn't see it?"

"See what?" When Chie just stuck her pinky out and waggled it back and forth, eyebrows moving in much the same manner suggestively, Rise felt her face flush. "N-no, I did not."

"Awwwww, I was gonna ask about the size."

"CHIE!"

"Well, what else am I supposed to ask?!" she burst out in exasperation. "Like, clearly the rest of him looks like a chick, so that seems like the biggest difference! I just wanted to know how big that difference was!"

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she finally simply sighed, "I'll let you know. If I ever find out, I mean… since she's not talking to me today."

"Aww… yeah." Growing more serious, she stuck her chopsticks in the bowl and put an arm around Rise. "Listen… all dumb jokes aside, that sucks. But he's probably just trying to sort things out, like you are. I mean, you said he can't even figure out if he's a girl or a boy, so like, on top of having the hots for his new best friend? That's a lot."

Something about the way Chie kept saying "he" and "his" was bothering Rise. She knew it was technically accurate — again, assuming this was all true, which she had decided to believe for the time being — but it didn't sit right. Didn't Ai say she had known all along she was a woman, even when the world saw her as male? But she didn't want to get too bogged down by worrying about that niggling little detail just now.

"Okay, so I'm an idol, she's a fashionista. If she is a boy, maybe it's not as weird that we hook up — like, she could be my fashion designer when I make my comeback. Right? Or… if she's not a boy, then she can be, anyway, and… we could… date secretly."

"Secretly? I thought you said you would be Japan's first gay idol."

"I'd love to be, but I also don't know if that'll work. My management might not like that I'm throwing them a curveball. And… I guess…" Rise felt her eyes watering. That was stupid. "I don't want to stop being Risette."

Chie snorted. "Pretty sure you're going to be Risette forever, even if you don't like it. Which I thought you didn't, but like, you did say you're accepting it again."

"No, I meant that… if I really am interested in women, and I come out, I won't be 'Risette the idol'. I'll be 'Risette the gay icon', or 'that lesbian singer'. Dumb stuff like that. I've been thinking about it a lot, and that could be really cool, but it also means I have to give up having fans who just like me because I'm cute and I can sing. It'll get super political."

"Oh… yeesh, I hadn't thought about any of that junk at all. That sounds like a big pain."

Whimpering, she flopped down on her arms. "But it's important. Like, I've never thought it was right that queers in Japan don't have any representation really. Y'know?"

"But they do! Well… not a lot, I mean… Ikko, like you said, and that one drag queen, Matsuko Deluxe… and I thought I heard Utada might be? Or her teddy bear was…" When Rise just cracked an eye in her direction, she wilted. "Yeah, okay, so not that many. Seems like everybody's gay in the West, and over here it's like, five people."

"That we know about."

"Yeah. I never really thought that hard about it… but I guess… I should have."

A slight smirk tugged at the corner of Rise's mouth. "Why should you have? Hmmmm?"

"Well… you know."

"See? You can't even tell me! I'm right here telling you I made out with either a girl, or a guy who wears girl clothes better than me, and you still don't feel like you can tell me the truth! That's exactly it — we just don't wanna talk about it!"

Chie was poking the tips of her index fingers into each other as she stared down at her bowl, face glowing like a stoplight. Rise knew she was being a little mean, but she also had a decent reason to press this subject.

"Alright, forget it. I'm sorry."

"No, you're right, Rise-chan. I'm…" She took a deep breath, looked around the diner to make sure nobody was sneaking up on them. Still not that brave, it seemed. "I'm with Yukiko. We're together. And I don't just mean cool for the summer because we're trying stuff out; I mean forever. She's all mine, and she loves b-being mine, a-and… and I've never…"

Oh. Chie Satonaka, badass kung fu afficionado who helped save Inaba without anyone ever finding out what they did to protect the town… was crying. Rise sat up, brow furrowing hard as she watched this unprecedented phenomenon for a moment. Fat droplets of shame were rolling down to be absorbed by the collar of her ever-present green jacket as she gripped the skirt covering her thighs. How sad that trying to force herself to admit something like this was so difficult she couldn't do it without tears.

"Shhh," Rise soothed her as she pulled her into a warm embrace. And Chie clung as if she were a life raft. "It's okay. I'm on your side, okay? Remember? Investigation Team forever. Everything's gonna be fine."

That was all they could accomplish for a little while. Even though she was hiccuping and trying to keep her voice down, it seemed now that Chie had let down her ever-present shields it was all tumbling free in a rush. So Rise just held her, trying not to add to the mess by breaking down herself. Poor thing.

She only hoped time wouldn't make a liar out of her. Because if everything wasn't fine for Chie and Yukiko… then what chance did she and her boy-girlfriend have?

                                                   ~ o ~

Ai did eventually get back into contact with her later that evening, via text. Her first order of business was a heartfelt apology for blowing her off all day. They both did the dance of trying to reassure the other person that it was no big deal, and they both just needed some space to figure things out.

AI: But I really threw you for a loop and we both know it

RISE: Definitely

RISE: I'm sorry I just don't have a gentle way to agree you really fucked me up

AI: Wow do you have to put it like THAT?!

AI: Sounds like I was doing it on purpose!

RISE: I know you weren't!

RISE: Seriously… I'm sorry I just needed to figure things out

AI: Yeah… me too

AI: Look can I just call

RISE: Oh uhhhhh I guess?

No answering text. Just her phone ringing, and the poor idol dropping it and leaning away on her bed. Feeling silly that it had startled her so badly, she scooped up the phone and answered. "Hello?"

"Do you hate me?"

Rise's blood froze in her veins as she sat up straighter. Ai sounded bad. Not just unhappy, or like she had been crying, but she sounded as if she were completely out of energy. Swallowing hard, she whispered, "Ai-chan? Are you okay? What's…"

"No." A little sniffle. "I… I fucked up."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm… so I've had this… I…" Rise didn't interrupt; just gave her time to collect her thoughts. "I'm bulimic. I've been purging on a regular basis since before junior high, and I thought I had it under control, but… today wasn't good."

"Oh…" Wincing at the notion, she went on, "Oh, that's terrible, I'm sorry. I mean, I get why you would, you… thought you needed to."

Silence. Then in a quiet whisper, "It's been worse lately. And I'm not stupid, I know it's because of you and me; I'm… messed up about it, and instead of confronting my feelings, I binge and purge. And it's disgusting, and I'm disgusting, and I haven't been able to keep anything down since… Shinjuku."

"Oh. The beer. That got you started again, didn't it?"

"Like I ever really stopped," she snorted harshly. "But you're not wrong. I've been pretty good about just sticking to my diet the past few months, and now I'm stress-eating all the time, and then I have to purge because my system can't handle it, a-and…"

When her words devolved into unintelligible noises, Rise just soothed her, "Wait, wait, it's okay. It's okay! I mean, I might not get all the, um… boy-girl stuff, and whether or not we should be… u-uh… whatever we should be." Wow, eloquent; pull it together, Rise! "But I'm used to bulimic girls."

"What? I mean, you are?"

"Sure. There's a ton of them in the entertainment industry; we're all supposed to look like adorable little stick figures who are always happy. It's hard. I'm just lucky that I'm naturally kind of lean, but I still do have to watch what I eat. Other girls aren't so lucky — like you. Just like that. So…"

Ai sounded so desperate for affirmation when she pleaded, "So I'm not broken?"

"No way! I mean, maybe you shouldn't do it anymore, but like, it happens all the time. You're not crazy, and you're not 'broken'. I mean it."

"That's… that's the most I've believed anyone when they told me that in a long time." A long sigh. She still sounded weak but Rise was trying to suppress slamming the panic button. "Dad tells me that, too, but he isn't very convincing. I mean, he's my dad, he has to say that shit."

Giggling softly, she laid back on her bed and picked at a fray in the comforter with her painted nails. "Yeah, I get that. Well, with my grandma. My parents don't even call."

"Bitches." They both laughed. "Um… I think I'm gonna make myself go get some juice… but um… before I go…"

"Yes?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you so nice to me? I don't deserve it. No," she cut her off, and Rise almost laughed that her friend had predicted she was going to protest. "Don't argue, you know I'm a hot fucking mess. And I boss people around, and I… but you pushed until I let you befriend me. And I don't get it. I thought you were a nerd and a glutton for punishment, and you still showed me all this gross love until I caught it. Why would you? Why waste all that time on a gender-bending jerk like me when you could have picked any-"

"You're not a jerk. You're not a mess. And you are not alone."

The next word was a sob, but she was reasonably sure what she said was "Rise". So she just waited, curling up on her sheets more tightly with the phone pressed to her ear. Waiting, until finally… "Thank you."

"Hey, no big deal. Just… don't give up, okay? I'm in your corner, and I'm always going to be. You got a friend in me."

"Why does that sound so familiar?" she half-laughed.

Curling up with a warm smile on her face, Rise purred into the phone, "I have no idea, Ebi-chan. But I mean each and every word."

                                                  To Be Continued…

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Love me, love me not ~ pt.4

04: When Grayson meets an old flame

Summary: Finally in Paris, Grayson tries to woo Y/N, but fate had different plans.

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of sex

Word count: 2.2 k

Love me, love me not ~ Series Masterlist

Silence surrounded them like a stars in a freckled night sky. She had her headphones in, her lips pursed, her eyes focused on the small screen before her. She figured he’d understand her desire to speak to him is non-existent, all of it acting as a shield since the pair have barely exchanged more than a few words since the red carpet and those were only pleasantries.

Grayson knew she wasn’t really watching Finding Dory, reading her intentions well. However, he was itching to make amends and have her smile at him again…but what would he apologize for? Having a heart? Caring about her? Wanting to explore their connection? Wanting to genuinely date her?

Those weren’t reasons for him to step on his words and pride and give into her childish behavior of pushing people away. Sure, she might not be interested in a relationship with him and he wouldn’t push her, but a friendship wouldn’t kill her.

“Either talk to her or stop staring. People are whispering about the creep in 40C and the naive girl two seats away.” Ethan nudged Grayson to move to his seat, closer to Y/N. He wasn’t foolish, seeing that Y/N has probably had zero sleep as they have and planned to sleep on the flight so she’d wake up in the right timezone. That’s why it’s crucial Grayson gets to her before her eyes close, because Ethan refused to have his trip ruined by the awkward tension and sexual frustration the two brought.

“She’s got headphones! I can’t just pull them from her head.” Grayson whisper shouted, sending his brother a glare before glancing at a seemingly cartoon-immersed Y/N.

Annoyed, Ethan outstretched his arm across Grayson’s lap, tapping Y/N’s shoulder carelessly and fast enough not to let his brother stop him nor react negatively for Y/N had turned her head just as quickly as he hoped.

“Everything okay?” She hummed, looking at the twins who nearly pointed a finger at each other as if to blame one another, like children who had gotten into trouble.

“Grayson wants to talk to you!” Ethan pipes up, stopping his younger brother before he has a chance to mutter something stupid and lose this chance.

“Umm, okay.” She takes her headphones off entirely, shifting in her seat so she faces him.

“I just wanted to ask you if you’d go out on a walk with me?” Grayson spoke fast, his eyes clinging to hers as his hands trembled lightly at his sides. He can’t remember the last time a girl made him so nervous he’d shake like he does now.

“Pretty sure we’d die if we tried to get out now.” She teased, her playful tone making a comeback and it dropped the weight off his chest. He was terrified he gambled away his chance with her, but the devilish smirk on her pink lips had his heart fluttering.

“Perhaps in Paris, then?” Grayson cocked an eyebrow, slapping a smirk of his own on his face, unaware how it forced her heart on a wild chase where every beat felt like a drum-roll.

“Sure. But, I need some beauty sleep now Dolan. Let me be.” She lowered her seat, her pillow already fluffed and prepped, her eyes closing as she pushed the blanket over her body.

“Not likely. You can’t get prettier than you are now, trust me.” Grayson added, chuckling when she pulled up the divider between them, catching a glimpse of her rosy cheeks, knowing he had made her blush. It was a nearly impossible feat, but he conquered the temper tantrum she threw the last time they had an actual talk.

Falling asleep, the three woke up just as they were landing, rushing to the hotel in time. They had a whole day to themselves, while the next day was reserved for Luis Vuitton.

“Get dressed and meet me out here at six.” Grayson instructed, winking her way before he disappeared behind his hotel room door, leaving her a flustered mess of anxiety and heart vs brain wars.

She wished she could get them both on the same page and either give into the bubbling feeling inside her or just forget about him and move on. But no…her heart was adamant in winning this fight, while her brain pulled out the big stops – Henry and how she had trusted him in the past only to have that trust thrown back to her face and her life turned around so heartlessly.

How could she let herself go down the same road again?

She felt like a china-doll, glued together, but barely holding on. Grayson seemed like the type to shatter a person and not on purpose; never on purpose. He’d be so oblivious when she starts chipping away and that’s the scary part – he wouldn’t even know how her glue is failing and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He’d ruin her. That much she was certain of. But she wanted to try, dip her toes into the water and wait until it’s warm enough she feels safe to move forward into deeper parts.

“So, where are we going?” She smiled widely, her look casual yet appealing. Something she seems to nail every damn time as it never fails to make Grayson’s heart skip a beat.

“Just a little stroll.” He tilted his head to the right ever so slightly, his wing shaped earring moving along with him like a dazzling trinket she couldn’t stop herself from looking at.

He came closer, his big brown eyes so soft as his smile grew, startling her when she felt his warm fingertips brush her wrist.

“But you’re going to have to let me hold your hand. We’re supposed to be in love, remember?” He raised an eyebrow, sliding his fingers into the icy palm of hers, spreading her fingers himself before linking them together only to pulls her along – gently, but in a commanding way. This was his show to run and she found herself caught up in it.

Walking the streets at near sunset had painted them a beautiful orange shade she quite adored. The pink streaks across the sky were a delight as well, but none compared to his bright smile as he pointed at his favorite spots to visit when he’s in France, nor the comforting warmth of his hand in hers. She noticed some people taking photos, fans mostly, but some professional cameras as well, but she could care less. She was actually out and on a date with this beautiful man and her brain was quiet for the first time in a long time.

Y/N stopped, hearing the romantic music coming from the street, forcing Grayson to stop as well, looking down at her already formed blush.

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? Like, they’re the perfect blend of the earthly protection with just enough of green tones to make it seem like a forest ground – untouched beauty with so much more to find.” She truly found herself mesmerized and in the moment, her eyes on his as relentless as a storm he felt brewing within. But Grayson refused to question this moment of tenderness between them, rather embrace it – embrace her.

“Dance with me.” He wasn’t asking, rather demanding, his tone leaving no room for mistakes. She was clear on his intent, but couldn’t help the giggle escaping her nor the quick glance around them that showcased her nerves.

“We’re in the middle of the street.” She reasoned, finding him with a cocked eyebrow and an unapologetic smirk as he used the hand he still held to twirl her, knowing she’d lose her balance and fall into him after.

He reeled in the tiny gasp of surprise passing her lips as she spun into his chest, both her palms pressed against him as his hands came to rest on the small of her back, already moving rhythmically, nudging her to do the same.

Fighting a smile, her lips twitched as she raised her hands and closed them behind his neck, her arms a bit short to entirely wrap around him and he nearly cackled at the adorable little pout she made once she realized it. She may be small, but she’s fierce and he loved that about her. She’s not just a woman, not just a contract to him – she’s a force of nature and he wanted to be the one to reckon with it.

“You’re quite the partner.” She complimented, earning a small chuckle as he firmed his hands on her hips, lifting her up until her body pressed against him and her face was at face level.

“Let me kiss you.” He urged, licking his lips as a hungry lion who found a willing victim. “Just once. I feel like an addict who is dying for his next fix.” Grayson didn’t care about the fact he’s openly spilling his feelings out, nor about who might see or hear him. He just wanted her.

“How about we return to the hotel and I’ll give you a little more than just a peck?” She quirked an eyebrow, giving him a mysterious smile as her thigh pressed against his member, forcing him to stop breathing – just for a moment.

“Can you run or should I carry you back?” He laughed, already walking back, her feet still not firmly on the ground.

“I can run just fine. Let me down!” She insisted, but she didn’t expect him to grab her hands the moment he did so, running down the street like horny teenagers, bumping unsuspecting strangers.

Finally seeing the hotel, they’ve nearly made it inside when Grayson stopped.

“Ethan said you’d be out.” The girl’s voice had drawn Y/N’s attention, her breathless attempts to speak up failing as Grayson stared at the gorgeous woman in question.

“I’m all ready to go, baby. This coat is literally all I have on and I’m in a need of a big strong man who can take it off.” She purred, coming closer to him. It’s as if Y/N didn’t even exist. It’s as if he wasn’t still holding her hand. It’s as if this woman could care less about any of it, her lust for Grayson fully on display. Grayson who seemed too quiet, his hold on Y//N’s hand loosening as he gulped loud enough for Y/N to hear and she immediately stepped back, hurt written on her beautiful face as the fire of doom returned to her eyes.

“Yeah…baby. She seems awfully hot and bothered.” Y/N spat, ripping her hand out of his as she walked into the hotel – furious, but never more certain she should have went with her head instead of her heart. Who has ever gotten any good from trusting their heart?

“Y/N?” Grayson gasped, walking by the woman he clearly knew in order to get to his girl, aware the progress made is lost now.

“Please, let me explain.” He pleads, but her brain is back and it’s ready to rule her with an iron fist once more.

“No need. I’m certain you can get your dick wet with her tonight, because it sure as hell won’t be with me.” She nearly growled at him, especially when she saw the confused bimbo following him.

“You nearly had me fooled, Dolan. The whole romance charade was fun while it lasted, but I’m done. I’m just done being second string and I’m done having men dictate my life. So, here’s the hack: when you’re in there for the audition, just make sure you learn your lines and try to play the scene out in your head as if it’s a real interaction. Imagination is key.” She let out a deep, heavy, pained sigh as she raised her hand, tapping his chest lightly.

He wanted to stop her nonsense and kiss her. He wanted to open his dry mouth and tell her she’s all he cares about. Fuck the audition, he wanted her. He needed her and he didn’t even understand why or how she had become so much more to him in only a few weeks. A single night with her were worth more than hundreds with any other. She was the flame who lit his life on fire and while he was burning, he wanted to thank her for it and still ask her to stay a while longer.

Grayson nearly chuckled at the thought of calling her fire when she’s the coldest person he’s ever met. But she’s fire and ice – he fears the cold and craves the burn, both driving him insane, but he couldn’t stay away.

Yet he couldn’t move at all when the time came.

“Now you know my secret. Your audition is next month anyway. No need to pretend to care any longer.” She let her arm fall as the deafening ding of the elevator sounded, cutting Grayson off as he was left speechless, barely hearing anything but her somber goodbye. “Have a good night.” She forced a small smile before the door closed, leaving them both alone and with so many things left unsaid.

Tags: @xalayx @dolandolll @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @anything-dolan @peacedolantwins @maybgrayson @nowheredolan @graydolan12 @beautorigin @justordinaryjen @starrydolan @pitreshawn @grays-laugh

[psycho-slytherin]

Strangers ch. 34

Yoongi finds your phone– and so does someone else...

Pairing: Yoongi x (female) Reader

Word count: 1.8k

Genre: fluff, angst

|mlist|

<–– Prev   Next ––>

You force a laugh. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t lie to me, y/n,” Yoongi says softly, his voice a knife in your back. “These– Jesus.” He exhales sharply as your phone buzzes again, again, again. You would’ve turned your notifications off months ago, but you need Twitter for your jobs. “How long has it been like this?”

@satanhasaholdoffrance: hey @yourname make like a tree and die

@queenynuwu: I hope y/n knows we love her!! <3 @yourname

@gummyyoongi: has anyone found @yourname‘s address yet?

“I don’t know what you mean,” you reply stubbornly. You don’t want your weight on Yoongi’s shoulders, not when you know he’ll blame himself.

“Bullshit. You said this wasn’t happening! You told me that my fans weren’t coming after you.”

“And you never checked,” you reply, your throat tight. “You know what I am. I’m a liar. And you trusted me– that’s your mistake.”

Yoongi flinches. “I know you don’t mean that.”

You begin trembling, your hands and arms and shoulders tensing against your will. “You shouldn’t trust me, Yoongi.” I’ve kept too many secrets from you.

“Well, I do trust you. I know you too well, y/n, and you don’t mean that. But this?” He taps your phone. “This is messed up.”

You take a step back, shrinking into yourself. “I-I’m sorry.”

“What? No. Why are you apologizing?” Yoongi gets up and walks towards you, his eyes intense. “My fans– the stuff they’re saying– that’s what’s messed up. And y/n, I’m so, so sorry this happened. You don’t deserve it.”

“I, uh...” you mumble, confused. Why isn’t he angry at you? You lied to him, again and again and again. “Sorry...”

Yoongi sighs, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “What are you even apologizing for?”

“I don’t know!” You cry. “I thought you’d be mad at me!”

“I’m not mad at you, y/n-ie.” Yoongi raises his arm and brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face. “I’m just worried. The comments you’re getting, the haters... they’re too much for anyone.”

Your mind drifts to the nightmares, the thoughts that your hate comments have inspired within you.

Yoongi’s gaze darkens, but he’s not looking at you– he’s staring far off, at something beyond. “I’ve seen idols, trainees– friends– that internalized those things, and they didn’t see an escape... no one is equipped to deal with this shit alone, no one.” Yoongi swallows, and his voice wavers. “So don’t try, y/n. You’re not alone, and I can’t lose you.”

You blink hard before drawing back and punching Yoongi in the arm.

“Ow!” Yoongi yelps, rubbing his arm. “What the hell?”

“That’s for being dramatic,” you say, using all your willpower to keep your voice light. “And this–” you poke him in the ribs– “is for being selfish. I don’t wanna lose me either, nerd. It’s not all about you.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Yoongi laughs. “My bad, I almost forgot that you’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“Just don’t let it happen again,” you sniff haughtily.

“I won’t, promise. Hey, do you need a lift to your next job?”

“Nah, I’ll take the bus. I’m not famous like you,” you reply. Besides, you want to be alone with your thoughts.

“Suit yourself. I have to go to the studio anyways.”

“Another BTS comeback already?” You muse, and Yoongi winks.

“Nope.”

~~~

Once Yoongi leaves, you wriggle into another sweater and shrug your coat on over it. You can’t help but feel chilly lately, and you can’t afford to get a cold.

You leave your apartment building and quickly walk towards the bus stop. Your afternoon will be spent on a photoshoot for a new makeup line, and Lisa said you’d be able to keep some of the merchandise.

You adjust your face mask and pop in your earphones, your mind a whirling dervish of thoughts. You imagined Yoongi would be furious– after all, you’d promised no more secrets. You couldn’t help but keep your Twitter mess to yourself, because you didn’t want your friend to stress about it.

Friend... the word seems strange to you, almost wrong.

Well, we’re ‘dating’ now, you think, so I guess he’s my fake-boyfriend instead.

It’s weird; for years you were completely in love with Yoongi, besotted with his face and voice and laugh and lyrics. His shy, goofy nature. His irresistible charm. You remember when you and Lisa would scream together at every new music video, each concept photo, any hint or clue or theory. It seems so long ago now.

Speaking of Lisa... your phone begins buzzing with a call from your manager/friend.

“Y/n, darling, how are you doing? How’s the leg?”

“All healed up now,” you reply, flexing and unflexing your left leg. You lost a lot of blood, but your injury missed all the arteries and important stuff.

“Great. Hey, I lined up a job, it’s yours for the taking if you’re interested. They need an extra in a cologne commercial, it should only be a two-day shoot and we can plan around Moon Over The Sea. What do you think?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” you murmur absentmindedly. “How much does it pay?”

“Pretty well, your cut would be only a little less than you’re making on the makeup shoot today.”

“Alright, sign me up.”

“Great. And... how’s it going with Yoongi?”

You jolt. “What?”

“C’mon, y/n, you can’t expect me not to ask. You’re dating your idol!”

“I-I’m not, really...”

“Oh, shush. It’s official, isn’t it? BigHit confirmed it last week. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were together!”

You grit your teeth– you have to tell her the truth. “Lisa, seriously, it’s not real.”

“I know, I bet it totally feels like a fairy tale, huh? I’m so jealous.” Lisa’s voice gets quieter, pouty. “We have to hang out soon, it’s been ages since we’ve had a proper gossip sesh!”

“But...”

“No buts! I’m ordering you as your manager to hang out with your best friend... who is also your manager... who is also me.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Yes ma’am, just pencil me in.”

“Will do! See you soon.”

“See ya.

Humming to yourself, you continue your bus ride, arriving at the studio a few minutes early. A fashionable young man strides up to you bearing shorts and a shirt.

“Ah, you’re here. L/n y/n, right? Perfect, perfect, put these on and we’ll get you straight into hair and makeup.”

“Uhh...” you examine the outfit he gave you. “Are you sure this is for me?”

“Of course I am, what are you talking about?”

“It’s black, these shorts are made of leather, and...” you trail off, gulping. “It’s all very tight.” That’s right, clothes like these will only hug the curves you don’t have. You’re not a sex icon like some of the female idols you’ve seen Yoongi with on TV. You know as someone in the entertainment industry, you’re supposed to be fashionable– but you’re too much a fan of oversized sweaters and soft pants to let them go. “I don’t know if this outfit suits me.”

“Nonsense, you’re beautiful– you just need the confidence! Besides, you’re gonna have to get used to this type of stuff if you want to get anywhere in your career,” the man chuckles. “Changing room is over there. When you’re ready, head to hair and makeup.”

“R-right,” you mumble, taking the clothes. They look so cold, you shiver just thinking about putting them on.

Ten minutes later, you stare at yourself in the mirror. Staring back at you seems to be a child, a little girl who doesn’t belong, who can barely fill out the tight crop top or shorts. And you’re supposed to be dating Yoongi? You don’t know if you want to laugh or cry. Yoongi deserves better, someone prettier, smarter, who looks like they belong at his side. In your mind’s eye, you can see Yoongi next to you in the mirror– black-haired, a brow raised, his mouth quirking upwards in a lazy smirk. He looks like a prince, a god, and you look like you’re playing dress-up next to him. No wonder so many people are upset; you’re doing Yoongi no favors by being with him.

You sigh and shake your head. You’re cold, so cold, and you hate it. You turn away from the mirror to get your hair and makeup done.

“Okay, can you give me a little lip bite? Something cheeky? Oh, perfect! Yes, hold like that!” The camera flashes while you sit frozen in place. “Cross your legs now, hold the lipstick closer to your face... can you give me bedroom eyes?”

Face flushed, you lower your lashes and pout your lips like you’ve seen real models do, and the camera flashes again and again. The lipstick you’ve got on is a brighter red than you’ve ever dared to wear, and combined with the outfit and your bold eyeliner, you look a little edgy.

“Great, y/n, you’re doing wonderfully. We need one more photo for the spread...” the photographer looks around the photo studio, which is a rather minimalist set. “Can someone get me that chair? Y/n, sit on it backwards and try for a smirk– like an ‘I’m-better-than-you’ face.”

But I’m not. Still you try, channeling your inner Seokjin as you fix the camera with your best downward stare, and then half smiling as though you’ve got a secret– which you do, too many to count. Half a dozen shots later, you’re dismissed with the promise that the money will be wired to your account by Friday.

The next morning, you wake up to the familiar buzzing of your notifications, again and again and again. You haven’t overslept, have you? No, your clock informs you that it’s not even six AM. You groan and flip your phone over to read your new mentions.

@beautyoftheseoul: Check out our new line of matte lipsticks, modeled by #MoonOverTheSea’s @yourname!

@chimyoongles: Omg @2460sunshine did you see that @yourname liked a yoongi thirst tweet? Lmaooo I’m dying she’s rly all of us

@scarletwitchisjunghoseok: I think I love @yourname now that she’s exposed herself as an army lololol

@captainkookie21: why are ppl stanning @yourname for her fuckup lol it just goes to show what a liar and a slut she is.

You blink sleepily. You liked a tweet about Yoongi? You’ve been careful about doing that ever since you became a public figure, in case Yoongi noticed. You tap through your likes and gasp:

@slutfordionysus: rt if you want Suga to crush you between his thighs, like if you want him to use his tongue technology on you ;)

Oh, fuck. You never liked that. You’ve never even seen that tweet. Which means... you’ve been hacked?

[kpop-musicreviews]

A Review of Ateez’s “Treasure EP.3: One to All” EP

Utopia

This song stood out to me upon first listen. The relaxed guitar in the beginning, paired with Yunho’s upper register and Seonghwa’s lower register really makes a great intro. However, I think the true gem of this song is the chorus. The higher-register chant gives it this larger-than-life feeling, making the chorus feel very powerful. I think that this song mostly resembles Ateez’s previous song, Promise, in that way. However, in the way that Promise feels empowering in a secure and safe way, Utopia feels more open; it feels like Promise encourages us to be happy with what we have, while Utopia is a song that wonders what more is out there and pushes us to do more. The bridge was great particularly because of Jongho’s vocals, as well as the tension that was built alongside it. Now, the outro of this song is something special. It slows, it becomes more cinematic, and it feels so nostalgic, as if the boys are yearning for something, as the lyrics imply. Jongho leads the calls (“woah”), which I think is a great touch since they are reminiscent of the “woah”s in the chorus but used in a different context, and also because Jongho’s voice is very strong and poignant enough to pull off the part very well. The song builds and builds, and then leaves us with a small resolution. It certainly leaves the listener in awe for a moment, before moving into the next song.

Illusion

Upon first listen, this song may sound pretty treble-heavy, but when I listened to this song again I realized that the bass plays a key roll. I almost wish that the bass had been more present in the song, because it does some really interesting things. Seonghwa’s part in the bridge was originally confusing to me, and I didn’t know if I liked it that much; I felt that it sort of didn’t feel with the flow of the song. However, after many listens I think that now that I know what to expect at that point in the song I do like Seonghwa’s part quite a bit, as it aides in the build-up by creating a halftime pulse. The chorus is so fun to listen to, with the loud synths and the shout-y vocals that imitate the intro to the song. Now, disclaimer: I am actually a huge fan of Ateez, and I’ve gotta say, after hearing only the first portion of the song over and over, it felt so weird to hear the full song the first few times. I just really expected it to end after Mingi’s part! After hearing the song a lot more now I feel more accustomed to it, but it was definitely funny to expect the song to end in the middle. Also, I just have to say that their little chant “let me free” is so cute. And, before I finish the review of this song I have to discuss Yunho’s vocals. I don’t think he got all that many lines in this song, but the ones he got were very different for him and he totally rocked that higher register “ooo” part in the verses!

Crescent

Of course this song is not a full track, but it is still a significant part of the album. This track was put here for a reason, and I’m assuming that it is meant to be the transition from Illusion to Wave. If I had to come up with a theory for it, it seems to me that Illusion is all about breaking free, so perhaps Crescent is meant to represent them waking from their sleep, or their dreams if you will, and finding themselves on beach. Crescent may represent the moon shining down on them. As for the “open your eyes,” that could also represent the boys waking from their dreams. This track, while not very long, still feels very grand. There are staticky sounds in the background that remind me of a walkie talkie, maybe to represent someone reaching out to them. And of course, the sounds of waves transition us into Wave.

Wave

The beginning of this song is so beautifully sung by San and Yunho. I can’t even point out exactly what I is that makes the beginning feel so special to me, but those two are able to put some real emotion into their voices, that’s for sure. Maybes it’s the breathiness of their lines that’s getting me. Jumping right into Mingi’s part, he truly announces the vibe of the song. Hongjoong gets to show off his lower register a little, which I think sounds really great in this song. And then, the notorious “hakuna matata yah”. The chorus of this song just feels so fun and carefree. I also didn’t realize until I listened actively that they sing with a triplet rhythm in the chorus and I love triplets so that might be another reason why I like this chorus so much. The interesting thing about the verse following the first chorus is that it almost sound like it’s going to become beautiful and breathy again just like the beginning, but at th least second Hongjoong comes in with his rap portion. I think the backup vocals during his part really add to the fun of the song, because it feels like the vocals are encouraging him to keep going. Another thing that I just realized is that during the buildup to the chorus, the opening synth line is being played in the background, and it also played again during the bridge with a different synth sound. It’s actually really interesting how many more things you can hear in a song when you actively listen to it. This song really gets to me every time I listen to it. It just feels so happy, and Ateez really does a good job of performing it, as well as singing and rapping it.

Aurora

This song is a lot more laid back than the other ones on this album, and I think it’s a nice contrast. The chorus really reminds me of Seventeen’s style, which I really wasn’t expecting! Wooyoung higher register is really something to behold in this chorus; his voice sounds very delicate and beautiful. Honestly, the verses and bridge of this song all flow very well and it was pretty easy to listen to. It’s a very nice song, and I think the lyrics add the extra depth that make the verses meaningful.

Dancing Like Butterfly Wings

This whole album feels much like a summer album, so it’s only fitting that the last song would give us that final summer song boost. I think the lyrics are what really makes this song so meaningful. They tell us to reach for our dreams, even if it gives you that nervous feeling deep down. It makes the song feel hopeful and very pretty. I like how the song experiments with all of the vocalists’ higher registers, because they all sing very well up there. I don’t know how I feel about the bridge. It’s more like a rap break, but I personally would have preferred a prettier, more vocal-based bridge. I appreciate the rapping, but I don’t know that I felt it belonged in this song is all. Aside from that, this song was very nice and I liked the “oh”s in the chorus, because singing together always makes a song feel more like home.

Overall Thoughts

I like this album a lot, as I have Ateez’s past albums. I think I may have been a little overexcited about it, so apologies if my reviews of the individual songs seem a little all over the place. I think this was a nice release for summertime; all of the songs are very feel good, and I liked it a lot. The only thing I can say is I noticed that this album doesn’t have one of those hard hitting songs, like Pirate King or Hala Hala. Of course, I’m not complaining because this album s great, but I do think it’s interesting that they didn’t include anything like that. That’s another reason why this feels a lot like a summer album to me, because all of the songs are very pretty and fun to listen to rather than intense. I was pleased and surprised to hear that the boys are experimenting with their higher registers more, since they usually tend to go deep for their choruses. (Yet another reason that this album feels more like summer.). Overall, I’m glad I got to review it and I can’t wait to see what else they have for us in the future!

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Thank you for reading my review of Ateez’s “Treasure EP.3: One to All” EP! What did you think of the boys’ comeback? Are there any other artists or idols you’d like me to review? Feel free to DM me, comment, and leave things in my inbox!

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