#hyperfixation tag

[twelfth-dykector]

AN ACCOUNT OF THE BEST EVENING THAT HAS EVER EVENINGED!!!!!!!

there was an ORIGINAL pits and perverts t shirt. which was cool as fuck. the only difference between that one and the current one is a slightly different material + the black line pattern thingy went into the neckline of the shirt. (me with the shirt below)

there were a bunch of pictures i'd never seen before, LOTS OF THEM WITH CAPTIONS THAT WENT INTO LOTS MORE DETAIL!!! i <3 captions and detail

and there was a really interesting quote about how the women (LAPC maybe? im uncertain) organised a womans day, where they had "a lot of laughs". which really differed from jayne-francis-headon account that where she said that the lesbians struck her as "some of the grumpiest people [she] had ever met" and she "didn't like being in a room with them. genuinely facinating to me.

i was stimming so much the entire time at the exhibiitonand would run up to 🥐 every few minuites to just gesture around wildly because i was so excited. she smiled every time ^•^

i talked to an assissent archivist and they were cool as fuck and knew alot of stuff and said that they were just excited on the inside as i was on the outside, and they told me to stop apologising so much :)

when i saw mike and jonathon come in i almost started crying i got so excited

while in the exhibition i was staring at mike jackson and he smiled at me. i think it was a smile anyway

we (me and 🥐) got there Really early so we were RIGHT AT THE FRONT IN THE MIDDLE!!!!!!!! AS CLOSE AS IT WAS PHSICALLY POSSIBLE TO SIT!!!!!!!!!

i saw the ORIGINAL FUCKING BANNER!!!!!! and mark ashton HIMSELF had drawn on the back (and made the whole banner actually), as shown below

three quotes from mike jackson I thought were extra-special were "we became them, and they became us" (we being lgsm and they being the mining community obviously) + "no matter what the odds are we fight, we do not lie down dead" + when he was asked by a secondary school student what he thinks the queer community will be like in 30 years, he said something along the lines of "I hope labels won't exist anymore, gay and straight, black and white [lots of other examples] will be irrelevant (or something synonymous with that) and we'll all just be people". that last quote is in no way exact but that was the gist of it.

mike told a really funny story about how when some of the mining families came to london they went to the tower of london and dai donavon's four year old son went up to a beefeater and put his hands on his hips all angrily and yelled "you're a scabby piggy you are... you want to lock my daddy up! scabby piggy, scabby piggy!" what a guy

apparently when they first went to the welfare lodge they didn't talk about politics, the miners were just asking about gay sex. "whats a cock ring" etc. which im pretty sure differs from what it says in the book. for example, christienne powell said "the conversation was all about the strike" and paul canning said "we talked about politics" etc. wheres mike jackson was talking about how the miners didn't want to talk about politics because they lived it. interesting.................. However☝️ ray godspeed said that "they [the mining community] were also asking about the gay scene and when i first knew i was gay and what did my mother think". so yknow. thats not about sex but closer to what mike said at the talk than what was said in the book. apparently there was "a lot of curiosity" but the most invasive question was "who's the husband and who's the wife?" so i dunno. i'm so confused

and something else i learnt that wasn't mentioned in the book (I don't think)!!! the miners fundraisers for queer causes (such as HIV) once the strike ended. just. wow

I ASKED A QUESTION!!!!! about their opinion on the current labour government. and jonathon blake laughed and said jokingly said "labour?? labour government?? did i hear you right". because the current government is. well. obviously not very 'labour'. he apoligsed for not being able to give a more optimistic answer. and he said a bit more but mike then gave a longer and more interesting answer about how dissappointing it was that socialism is going down the drain in the uk political system and how labour are turning into tories etc. he said that he can't even look at the news anymore because of how awful it is, and it looks like its going to have to get worse and people are going to have to get even more polarised because we finally develop class solidarity. edit (now i've remembered more) : he also mentioned the revolving door between working in parliment and the bbc + how what is reported by the media is so far from anything that is actually important

they (jonathon blake + mike jackson) both signed my book. and ohmygod. they were both So fucking cool. i will elaborate on The Event involving mike jackson in a second but below in a picture of johnathon blake signing my book (looking absolutely amazing!!!) and both their signatures. i also told him he was amazing and i was in awe of him. he smiled and said thank you

MIKE JACKSON FUCKING HUGGED ME!!!! i asked him to sign my book after the q&a and, seeing how excited/happy i was, he said "come here :)" kind style as he put his arm around me and HUGGED ME!!!! and i hugged him back with BOTH MY ARMS proper hard. i squeezed that old man. and 🥐, who was watching, said it was a proper genuine hug :D. after that, i turned around to 🥐 and started jumping up and down Really excited style. and mike smiled/laughed Not-mean style. after, i realised i'd forgot to tell him he's amazing so i told him that. he smiled and said thank you (i think??). and I was the only person i saw him hug(aside from people who were obvious friends of his)!!!! (him signing my book below)

the person who chaired(?) the talk (who was also the cool assisstent archivist) said that they were really glad i asked my question about politics because they were a charity so they couldn't ask it. they also said how happy (or something similar?) they were that i was openly stimming because it was really nice to see

throughout the whole talk, every few minuites i would get Really excited and either flapping my arms or turn my hands into fists and turn to 🥐 and start shaking a quietly screaching in delight. she grinned every time ^_^. and I think mike and jonathon noticed that too because I saw them glance at me a few times, so that's probably the one of the reasons mike hugged me

someone said that they hoped i have a really nice night because/and my vibes are infectious :D (because i was so insanely happy i presume). i then complimented this persons hair (because it was really cool). they probably also heard me keep repeating "i am going to DIE this is the best thing that has ever happened to me im going to explode. i need to eat all these chairs" etc after mike hugged me.

for the rest of the night, pretty much the only thing i could say was "MIKE JACKSON HUGGED ME!!!!!!" (to 🥐)

🥐 complained about her gf to me🤭🤭!! because apparently the gf had been away skiing for TWO WEEKS but then got annoyed at 🥐 for being away for afew hours. shes feels comfortable enough with me to talk about that kinda thing with me im going to DIE!!!!

🥐 also told me that she kinda wants top surgery. which like. you feel comfortable enough to talk about wanting to get your tits chopped off with me<3333. can i eat you whole possibly

we went to co-op and got food and ate it and chatted on a sofa it was wonderful. just us!!! (other friend was supposed to come but her grandmas dying so. yknow)

AND. AND. AND. OH MY FUCKING GOD. THEYRE TURNING IT INTO A MUSICAL APPARENTLY. THE EVENTS. AS A MUSICAL!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I FEEL ABOUT THIS. GOD. IM GONNA BE ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE. i think i did actually screach (albeit, quietly) when they mentioned that. im like 90% mike jackson looked at me because i started flapping my arms and gesturing wildly at 🥐 because i was so excited

also, when i went back today i noticed this banner from 1985, which i thought was really cool :O

[wormattourney]

feeling very NORMAL about scout right now. absolutely NORMAL and nothing CRAZY.

dot dot dot...

i mean how could i be normal when he looks like such a silly goose

as i was saying feeling amazing, nobody go to my pinterest account my recents are JUST pictures of scout </3

[galaxywhump]

I don't think I've shared one of my most important possessions here

[just-a-queer-fanboy]

I wish I could encapsulate the feeling of having a soul consuming life altering hyperfixation or SP/IN without a) comparing it to cocaine or b) writing a 600 page infodump complete with your entire life story and 75 unrelated tangents leading into multiple 50 page other infodumps like some sort of mind map

[eygiess]

ok im catching up on pjo and tell me why LMM as hermes is LITERALLY MAKING ME CRY

I WAS EXPECTING HIM TO BE CRINGE WHY ARE THERE TEARS IN MY EYES

[eygiess]

hey guys. i have a question for u

i'm sorry (not) to people who know me irl

[screwpinecaprice]

CREATURE WITH A KNIFE

[wormattourney]

so i made this thing-

[kyruiz]

@ everyone saying youre confused do you know what a metaphor is. do you know what symbolism is. do you know how to like. analyze a character arc?

im sure theres some mythology here but my big interpretation was. loss.

the bird has an opposite arc to the cat - pushing others away instead of accepting them, all because the birds act of kindness got them rewarded with a broken wing.

i dont think the specifics of what happened matter when the character arc is the bird is Tired and ready to leave, and that the cat's companionship wasnt enough in the face of all that. it was a lesson for the cat to learn to value what they had in the dog, lemur, and capybara

itwas. very potent to me as a tragic character arc, and i think saying it brings down the story or was out of place is not the right take. the architecture of the buildings is a bit ancient and the water/whale-like creature is not anything we quite have in real like ; it isnt 1:1 realism and i think some mythological elements dont subtract from the emotions

the lack of explanation adds to it in giving room for interpretation and personal meaning

live footage of me watching flow (2024)

[orsanedraws]

i missed MMs 3 year anniversary...........

here's the spontaneous illustration i did in a couple of sittings cause i wanted to paint a spooky thing with a background lol

[melkingmd]

the pitt + wolfpupy tweets

[nicktoonsunite]

misc NU doodles part tres

last comic is based off off my nasb 2 clip

[wormattourney]

WHAT THE FUCK IS JERMA DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heehee hickies

[ckret2]

I think the funniest thing you could do to the "give me liberty or give me universal omnicide!" guy who tried & failed to conquer Earth is stick him in group therapy with the guy who successfully conquered & tyrannically oppressed earth for thousands of years.

A few weeks ago in one of my servers we got asked "what other villains do you think could hold their own against Bill in a fight?" and then "what other characters do you think would get sent to Theraprism?" at almost the same time and I haven't been able to stop thinking about subjecting Bill & Aku to each other since.

I think they'd hate each other's guts.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[unsung-idiot]

local man has had it with oversized dorito