#i can't reply to posts and when i try everything i typed vanishes

[petpetpinixy]

web tumblr keeps functioning less and less and idk if it's normal tumblr brokenness or some weird attempt at trying to stop me from using an adblocker. if it's the latter it's not gonna work i have a pi hole

[dancingazaleas]

𖨆. 02 / all for us

summary: you’ve finally decided it was time to eat and bathe, but now that you aren’t worried about starving to death, you’re getting homesick. maybe a cup of tea and a movie is the best.

note: i, now, have a taglist for this series especially!! here’s the taglist form!! it will also be posted on the series masterlist!! much love <33

word count: +3.0k

warnings/notes: starvation, manipulation, abuse, slight panic attack, thoughts of suicide

IT'S been five days since you've had anything to eat.

your body is so weak from the lack of nutrients that you can't stand up on your own. your head is constantly aching from lack of food and you keep getting dizzy.

you feel like you're on the brink of death now, you can't even get out of bed to get yourself water out of your sink, shortening your life span if you keep this up. you feel yourself crying as you roll your body off of the bed and onto the floor.

hissing in pain, you dig your nails into the spruce hardwood floor.

"you are not weak for this. you're surviving," you whisper to yourself as you push yourself forwards with your arms.

it's so painful with the bruises. they rub up against your clothing, already irritating them a bit more than before, and now it's having pressure added onto it. your tears are blocking your sight, but you push on anyways. the door has never felt so far away.

you almost perk up when your nails scratch at the door. with weak fists, you bang at the door and call for one of the men that has captured you. your tears are dripping on the ground below you, forming a small puddle as they all bunch together.

"please," you croak, "please..."

the door is being unlocked and you feel as if all of your strength has been used at that moment. you lay still as your breath falters from your sobbing.

the door bumps against your head, shooting a sharp pain through your head. you can't find strength to care about it.

"so you're finally ready to listen. you look pathetic," you don't have to look up to tell it's levi speaking to you.

he calls out to erwin, telling him to fix you small and easy meal and to get you new clothes. he squats down and takes you into his arms bridal style.

if you weren't crying and letting out weak sobs, he would think your dead. you're so limp in his arms and your eyes are empty and droopy as they stare right through him. and it creeps him out.

he takes you into a bathroom with a tub, setting you gently on the toilet. he doesn't bother locking the door behind him, you're too weak to run away right now. levi's preparing you a bath, walking back and forth as he gets towels and soaps and checking the water.

you hiccup as you watch levi starting to remove that collar and chains around your neck, and you feel like a weight has been lifted off of your chest, literally. he's undressing you, obviously trying to avert his cold eyes away from your body. you're gently laid in the bath, head resting against the rim.

levi's quiet as he pours a warm cup of water over your hair and face, squatting down to reach your level.

"stupid," he scoffs as he lathers up shampoo in his hands. he washes your hair gently.

"this isn't mine and erwin's fault," he shakes his head while he pours water over your head, "it's your fault. you refused our care."

you don't argue back, too tired to even think of a comeback. you also don't feel like getting beat any more than you already are. your eyelids are getting heavy, immediately shutting them as soon as you feel the pressure on them.

levi stares, mouth slightly parted as you breathe in and out through your nose. your cheek was sprinkled in the color crimson, his own handiwork made him cringe. he just sighs, now brushing through your locks of hair with conditioner coated on his hands.

he rinses his hands off, letting the conditioner stay there just for a few seconds so it can soak in. his eyes trail down your body, stopping at your bruised breast. he didn't even realize he hit you there.

he shrugs it off and gathers water into the small cup in his hand, pouring it over your head. he expects you to jump up at the water over your head but all you do is mumble. he wants to wash your body, specifically your underarms, but with you half asleep and barely able to stand on your own without him holding onto you, he can't.

he clicks his tongue and pulls out the cover up blocking the drain. he grabs you by the arm, ignoring the whimper of pain that you let out, and pulls you up onto your wobbling feet. he helps you step out of the tub and wraps a fluffy pink towel around your shoulders, carefully sitting you onto the toilet again.

the bath water is a little murky and levi cringes at it because he knows it'll leave a ring around the tub. he'll clean it up later.

erwin's opening the door, a pile of clothes in his large hands.

"she's all tuckered out," he chuckles, handing off the clothes to levi.

"yeah. don't know how, she's barely done anything. must be the hunger or something," levi shrugs and watches the folded clothing come undone as he holds the hemline between his fingers.

"maybe we were too harsh on her."

"no, we weren't. we can't trust her. believe it or not, but forks can hurt whenever you put force into them when you stab someone. she could've hurt one of us or herself," he folds the clothes over his arm and holds out a hand.

erwin hands him underwear, "i suppose you're right."

"i'm always right," levi carefully puts on your underwear for you.

erwin rolls his eyes at levi's comment, "make sure to dry her hair."

"i know what i'm doing," he snaps, "go put her food in her room."

erwin complies, swinging the door shut behind him as he goes to fetch your food.

you've barely processed their conversation, too focused on levi's hands putting you in a satin light grey nightgown that ends just below your knees. the bishop sleeves keep your arms warm and cold at the same time, in fact, the whole material of the dress does as well. the neckline is a v-neck, not that you mind too much because of the risk you might get too hot.

"do i...," you manage to mumble, "do i have to wear this to sleep...?"

"yeah, unless you feel like sleeping in just underwear. i don't think you want that though," he scoffs as he towels off your damp hair.

you don't reply, far too tired to even say a 'whatever' to him. you let your forehead come into contact with his hip, taking in the cold temperature radiating off of his body. you want to nuzzle into his hip, but thankfully you have enough will to not do so. it reminds you of your friend, pieck, and her cat like tendencies. the memory has you letting out a pained laugh.

levi can feel his face getting warmer at every movement you make with your head, but he manages to play it off because of the towel blocking your view. he throws the towel into the basket by the tub, hand silently stroking at the back of your head in comfort.

it doesn't give you comfort. but you don't let it show.

levi's grabbing a hair brush, a clean and new one, and running it through your (hair type) locks. there are far too many tangles from the lack of care you've been giving your hair, but not enough to make a knot.

levi then pulls out a block of deodorant from the cabinet below the sink. it's unused and you can smell the scent of flowers on it as he brings it closer. his hands slide up your dress with caution, trying to avoid coming into contact with your bruised body.

he manages to put on the deodorant easily. he picks you back up with a grunt, eyebrows furrowing at your pained expression. he's placing you back onto your bed in just a matter of seconds, throwing the covers over your legs.

erwin's sitting at the edge of your bed, holding a fork with food already on it. your eyes are droopy while you look at erwin.

you don't eat a lot, they're in fear that you might throw everything up if fed too fast. you don't blame them, you haven't eaten in five miserable days. it's best to be cautious.

"scooby...," you manage to whisper out, eyes fluttering shut.

"she wants to watch scooby doo even though she's already asleep," levi huffs with the shaking of his head, grabbing the tray from erwin's hands.

erwin follows after levi, closing the door behind the both of them and locking it.

"she seems to be getting adjusted," erwin notes while standing behind levi and watching him wash the dishes.

"only because she was on the brink of death. let's just hope she learned from it," levi's aggressively scrubbing the plate with a sponge.

————

you lay in your bed a few days later, the feeling of homesickness is eating you up inside. did no one care? did anyone even notice you vanished? where was everyone? what were they doing?

you think of zeke. the man you were sort of dating, it's complicated. well, it was. now, it's just nonexistent.

zeke was out of the country for a bit, something to do with work. he left you with a kiss on the forehead and a hug. you wonder if he's texted you.

you think of pieck. oh my god, she's had to have noticed by now. she's your best friend, she lives with you. but the memory of the two of you fighting right before you were kidnapped comes flooding back, and you deflate. if you weren't in the house then pieck would probably think it was normal.

what about porco? reiner? your guys friends who act like guard dogs towards you. where were they? did they notice? surely they had to, you never not text them back.

bertholdt? your close friend that you also worked with him. he was a music prodigy and he texted you almost everyday. did he notice?

you're breathing erratically as you sit up and clutch your hands over your ringing ears. where were they? where even was your phone?

you're gonna get killed before you can tell any of them that you love them. the thought has you crying and tugging at your hair. you were so mean to pieck before you were kidnapped. you hadn't talked to zeke since the day of your kidnapping, who probably wasn't worried because he was busy with work.

when will you see them again? will you ever even get to see them again?

'maybe after death,' you think, eyes darting up to the mirror on your vanity.

you slap yourself upside the head, slapping away the thought. you struggle to get onto your feet, but when you do, you're banging at the door for levi and erwin again.

you have to know if they're okay, to know if they know you're gone. you step away from the door at the sound of keys jingling and their footsteps.

"what are you freaking out about now," levi's being followed by erwin.

"my friends... did.. did you tell them i was okay," with a boost of confidence, your gripping at levi's biceps.

"get your filthy hands off of me," he smacks them away.

"yes, we did tell them you were going away. we said you decided on a vacation," erwin speaks and watches your eyes dart back to the mirror.

"fuck," you whisper to yourself. everyone would believe you'd go on vacation, you had been stressed with your job for the past month.

"levi's gonna make you some tea and then we can all chat, we were about to do so anyways," erwin's hand rubs at your back as he pulls you close to him.

levi leaves the room, following the orders of erwin. erwin, on the other hand, is cooing at you.

"no one's going to miss you," he whispers in a sweet tone and it gives you goosebumps, "no one at all."

you know it's not true. it can't be true. zeke would miss you. reiner would miss you, pieck, porco, bertholdt. they'd all miss you.... right?

"we're the only ones who care, no one else cares," his grip tightens.

"want to know what that girl said," you hear the arrogance in his voice, and you can't do anything to stop it since he's buried your face in his chest.

"she said she was glad you were on vacation. she said that it was good that she didn't have to see you," yoy hiccup against his chest, pieck couldn't have said that, right?

he pulls away finally, satisfied at your expressionless face—if you overlook the tears. you can't give in, pieck would never say that. never in a million years would she say that, even if she hated your guts.

right?

levi comes back in, hands holding a tray that has teacups and a pot of tea on it. levi goes to the area with three chairs, setting the tray onto the coffee table and sitting himself down in one. erwin follows behind him, leaving the chair in between them open for you to sit.

they stare at you expectedly, it makes you uncomfortable so you decide to just deal with it and sit with them.

"what tea is this," erwin asks while levi pours everyone a cup.

"earl grey, what else do we have," levi hands a cup to erwin and then to you.

you hold it by the handle, silently admiring the cup's delicate and intricate design. you try to ignore the voice in the back of your head to break it on the ground and slash your neck open. you want to drink it too, it smells absolutely perfect, but if you hold it any longer you might just listen to that voice.

you set it back down, left hand immediately grabbing at your right wrist. you didn't trust yourself to make a move on your own, if you did you fear it might end up with a shard of glass at your throat.

erwin's ice eyes stare at your wrist and hand, taking in how your knuckles were white and the skin on your arm was reddening.

"just say if you want handcuffs," erwin sips at his tea and looks away.

"what," you flinch at his voice interrupting the quiet that was once there.

his comment has you looking at your hands, which you let go of at the sight of the irritation.

"sorry," you shrug and lean back in your chair.

"good. can't have you hurting your hands," levi comments, eyes staring outside of the bay window.

"speaking of that," you sigh, "why do you always leave my hands alone. you've shown no mercy to my arms, so why my hands?"

"when you're good enough, you'll be allowed to play the piano," erwin crosses a leg over the other, ankle resting on his knee.

"play? for who? there's no one in this empty house but us," you scoff and cross your arms.

"me. and there's more people here than you think," levi's giving you a small smirk, "you're just separated from them."

"it's hard to believe that you have friends, levi," you mumble loud enough for them to hear. your comment has erwin chuckling and levi rolling his eyes.

"i have friends, believe it or not. watch your attitude," he's putting his tea back onto the tray.

"i don't have an attitude," you sound like a child arguing with their parent.

erwin butts in the conversation before levi can get mad, "anyways, we will allow you to play if we think you've been good enough. levi likes the piano, remember?"

you bite down on your tongue to stop the words 'no but i remember getting kidnapped!!' from coming out of your mouth.

"when can i leave this room, it's too stuffy in here?"

"did you not just listen to erwin? he said when we feel you've been good enough. you've got to start by loosing the attitude," levi snaps his fingers irritatedly.

"how am i supposed to act?!"

"obedient," erwin's now standing over your chair, hands gripping the arms as he leans over you.

"like a dog," you look to levi at the sound of his voice, you try to make yourself smaller.

"you have on a chain and collar for a reason, don't you," erwin smiles gently, hand taking ahold of the chains while he stands up straight.

you choke when erwin tugs the chains towards himself, head knocking right against his stomach while the chains swing in the air and curl around his arm. his other arm swiftly grabs at jaw and forces you to look up at him with your chin pressed to his body.

erwin feels himself harden at the sight, your eyes are widened and your mouth his agape and panting because of the sudden cut off of air.

"just like that," he strokes his thumb along your jaw while you wonder what's caused a sudden change in him these past few days; he used to be so gentle. oh right, kidnapping.

his words have you turning hot, embarrassment hugging you from behind. it wasn't like you easily complied, you were forced to do so. you're also embarrassed because you can feel his hard-on against your sternum, and while you haven't thought about it before, you realize that erwin is fucking hung. you hope that you're not too good for them.

you're saying prayers in your head whenever levi speaks up, "i thought we came in here to watch a movie or something."

erwin lets you go, chains dropping from his arm as he does so. you sigh in relief as erwin grabs the remote from your bed and turns the tv on. you huff while you flop onto your bed and crawl up under your covers, knowing that you'll probably just fall asleep as you watch the movie.

unfortunately, this gives off the impression that you would like to be cuddled. levi's sliding under the covers with you, chest pressing against your back with arms wrapped around your waist. erwin follows soon after, inserting himself in your arms as he scrolls through the different movies at his disposal on the television. you're slightly frustrated at all of the physical contact, but you know that if you reject their advances it'll end up bad for you.

"put on heather's, please," you ask, which erwin obliges to.

as the movie goes on, you hope that they get the message.

you'll be veronica, and they'll be jd.

[clearcorona]

tell my mama // dabi x fem!reader

First songfic! Hope this is good. You guys really are the sweetest! I also fully stand by the whole "Dabi is a Todoroki" theory, so that's going to be used in this as well. This is really long and I wasn't expecting it to be. I'm just going to post this now and then I'll add a second part if I ever feel inspired. I'm so sorry if it's bad!

On the first day of class

You walked into the room

Just a hot little thing, with a bad attitude

And I knew, I knew

I knew you were trouble baby

I was saved by the bell

Couldn't wait to get home and tell my mama

'Bout this boy I don't know

Yeah I knew, I knew

I knew it was complicated

•

You smiled as you spoke to your small friend group during homeroom.

"(Y/N), you should come to the mall with us this weekend!" your friend, Rika, said and you smiled.

"I'll have to see what I have planned. I don't think I'm doing anything, but my mom may make me run last minute errands," you said and Rika pouted.

"Come on, you can't ditch us again. We'll miss-" she was cut off when the teacher stepped into the room, everyone scrambling to sit in their seats.

"Alright, class. Open your books to page forty-six. We'll be starting from there," he said.

About halfway through the class, the door opened and in walked a redhead with bright blue eyes.

"Woah... He's pretty hot, right, (Y/N)?" Rika whispered as she leaned over in her seat. You rolled your eyes playfully in return, shaking your head.

"You must be Touya Todoroki. You're late," you heard your teacher say.

"I know," the redhead replied and decided to sit in the empty seat behind you. You could practically feel your teacher's frustration, but he brushed it off and went back to teaching.

~

Later that day, you felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around to face the one and only Touya Todoroki. The word had spread that he was the son of the legendary Endeavor, the number two pro hero after All Might. To be honest, you were jealous. You knew he had to have had a strong quirk.

"Wanna ditch with me later?" he asked with a smirk. You raised your eyebrow, knowing your mother would kill you if she found out you skipped school.

"I-" you started, but was interrupted by the sound of the bell signalling the start of the lunch break. "I have to go."

"Alright. Later, kitten."

~

"I'm back!" you called out as you stepped into your house.

"How was school, sweetheart?" your mom called out and you sighed, following the sound of her voice to the kitchen.

"It was... Interesting, to say the least."

"Interesting? How so?"

"We got a new transfer student. People say he's one of the pro hero Endeavor's kids."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I don't know much about him, he's kind of mysterious. He doesn't really talk to many people, either."

"Why don't you try becoming friends with him?"

"I mean... I could try. Not sure how well it'd work out. He seems like the type to use girls."

"If he is, you know how to defend yourself."

•

Boy I know you're dangerous

You're not the one I'm supposed to love

But this is more than just a crush, tonight

So I'm gonna tell my mama about ya

•

"Watch this," you said and used your quirk, manipulating the water to form a rising phoenix. He smirked and pulled you onto his lap, making you lose concentration and drop the water back into the lake. "Touya!"

"Shhhh... Just let me hold you for a little while, doll," he whispered as his arms wrapped around your waist as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. You knew you shouldn't be falling for him. He nearly got arrested beating a guy to a pulp after he saw him making you uncomfortable.

There were plenty of other things that gave you reasons to stay away, but you couldn't. You were drawn to him like a magnet. Despite the things he had done, you felt safe in his arms, protected.

There was also the fact that he repeatedly skipped school and never told you where he was going, leaving you to be a worried mess.

Your mother definitely knew you were with someone and practically begged you to tell her what he was like. You managed to be as vague as possible without raising any flags, knowing if she truly knew what Touya was like, she wouldn't let you see him anymore.

A few days after the day you two spent at the lake, Touya Todoroki was pronounced missing, leaving you devastated.

•

Locked myself in my room

Called you up on the phone

Don't know why I hung up, soon as you said hello

When it's true, it's true

You got me trippin' baby

That night I couldn't sleep

Rolled around in my bed

'Cause the boy of dreams, is a nightmare instead

And it's true, it's true

That nobody tried to save me

•

Ever since the day Touya went missing, you were a mess. Nothing was ever the same for you. Everything was dull and boring. You were holed up in your room once again, bundled up under the covers.

It had been a whole year since he had been missing. Wasn't his family worried? Why hadn't his father tried to look for him?

You reached out and grabbed your phone, looking through your contacts. There it was, Touya's contact information staring right back at you. Knowing you had nothing left to lose, you decided to call the number.

You pressed the phone to your ear, knowing it probably wasn't going to be him. If he were alive, why wouldn't he try to contact you? The dial tone stopped as someone answered.

"Hello?" you heard a deep voice say. Your eyes widened and you panicked, pulling the phone away from your ear and hanging up. Your heart raced in your chest, having recognized the voice. Tears welled up in your eyes and you jumped as your phone rang. You hesitated before answering it.

"Who the hell gave you this number?" he hissed and you bit your lip. He had never sounded so menacing towards you.

"Touya," you whispered, swallowing the lump in your throat as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"(Y/N)? Dammit... Why did you have to call? Listen, doll, I'll call you later and explain everything," he said and sighed.

"No, you bastard. I deserve an explanation in person," you hissed and he hesitated.

"Look, kitten, I really don't think that's a good idea."

"Don't you dare call me that after you abandoned me! We're meeting by the lake at midnight. You know which one." You hung up the phone and covered your face with your hands. He was alive. He was okay. As much as your tried to focus on that, your relief only changed into fury. You couldn't wait to punch that smug smirk off of his face.

~

You were anxious as you got dressed to see Touya. Why hadn't he tried to talk to you for this past year? Had he found someone else? Your heart ached at the thought and you shook your head, taking a deep breath. You pulled on a warm jacket before climbing out of the window to sneak out of the house.

The weather was getting colder and although you were mad, you knew Touya radiated warmth and you always loved being by his side whenever it was cold out.

It was a short walk to the hidden lake you two had found a year ago, that was now frozen over. You noticed a tall figure standing there, barely wearing any clothes to protect himself from the cold.

"Touya?" you called out softly, holding yourself back. You wouldn't jump into his arms like this was a happy reunion. You were mad at him, you reminded yourself.

"I go by Dabi now," he said and turned around to face you. In the light of the moon, you saw who he had become. His hair was no longer the bright fiery red you had grown used to running your fingers through, instead it being as dark as the feathers on a raven. Parts of his body we're burned and held together by surgical staples. His bright blue eyes still burned in the moonlight.

"What happened to you?" you whispered and he kept his distance, not wanting to scare you by moving forward.

"It's a long story, kitten. I didn't want you to see me like this. It's disappointing, right?" he asked and you looked up at him. You wouldn't exactly say that. You had always thought he was handsome and he still was despite these massive changes.

"What's disappointing is the fact that you just vanished without telling me," you answered harshly and he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Why the hell couldn't you tell me where you were going, Touya?"

"It's Dabi," he corrected and shook his head. "And I didn't want to get you involved."

"Get me involved? Well, it's too late now, so don't even think about getting rid of me."

"Still as stubborn as always. It was something I used to love about you, but now it's just a pain in the ass. I know you'll hate me once you figure out what I do." He sat down in the grass, that had frosted over. Despite the cold weather, no snow had fallen yet.

"And what makes you say that?"

"Weren't you even the least bit scared when we were dating before?"

"Not really. Why?"

"I'm a villian, (Y/N)."

"Oh. Uh, okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"What do you mean? What else am I supposed to say? I'm not afraid of you. I could never be you were always so gentle with me." You made yourself comfortable on his lap and his arms almost immediately went around you. "I don't care if you've changed. I don't care if you're a villian."

"There's more you want to say, isn't there? What's on your mind, doll?"

"My mom kinda can't find out. About you being a villian and all. She'd probably think you were brainwashing me or something. She knows I was dating someone before, but I don't know. I can't just hide the fact that I have a boyfriend from her."

"(Y/N), I'm always careful not to be caught. There hasn't been anything on the news about me. Of course, other villains know, but not the general public." He was glad she didn't ask about his crimes, knowing you'd run off if he told you that he had actually killed people.

"Okay, good." You two sat in silence for a while, you leaning back against Dabi's chest as you looked up at the sky. "Hey, does this mean that we're dating again?"

"That depends. Do you want to date me again, doll?"

"Do you really have to ask?" You turned around in his lap so you were facing him, your (e/c) eyes staring up at into his blue ones that twinkled in the moonlight. You smiled to yourself.

God, how Dabi had missed that smile. In that moment, everything was perfect and he didn't want to change a thing.