#i didn't realise how much of those insecurities and that feeling of complete inadequacy and uselessness and worthlessness stayed
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it just hit me all at once how fucking low my self esteem is after my last relationship
#taylor.txt#i literally just broke down crying to my mother about how worthless and useless i feel#it's just... why am i here. what do i do.#i didn't realise i felt that way until now. not this bad at least#i had moments in the relationship where i felt like this#i didn't realise how much it actually like. stuck.#i painted her her cat for christmas. like. her cat but with all flowers through her fur#i did it over the course of a week and my mother and grandmother both said it was good#and i broke down crying because i felt humiliated that i couldn't just buy her something expensive#because i knew that would've made her happy and my stupid little cat painting just... didn't#i didn't realise how much of those insecurities and that feeling of complete inadequacy and uselessness and worthlessness stayed
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