#i don't object to making money from art i just ah. would rather be doing it with a full-time job backing me up. it makes me anxious

[fruchtfleisch-art]

While I'm shilling my little heart out, I made a Bluesky account this week! I don't think Tumblr is going anywhere, so this is more of a networking move than an "I'm leaving forever in a blind panic" move. I like it here! It's so quiet, and you can run so much custom code to throttle the dashboard into not looking like Twitter! I don't know why every site wants to look like Twitter!

Anyways, I'm picking two pieces a day from my archive and throwing them on Bluesky, M-F. You can enjoy whatever oldie art I'm not too embarrassed to post from the last five years.

[candyredmusings]

Harvester (1996) Sentence Starts

A whole mix bag, but mostly NSFT and/or crack Change pronouns/gendered terms as needed!

"You killed your family?"

"You always were a kidder, [NAME]!"

"You can't live without a spinal cord, son. Nothing unnatural about that."

" You'll rot your mind playing games like that..."

"Is God a jar of strawberry preserves, a size 12 sneaker, a footlong Hogie, an all-expense paid trip to Brazil, or a NEWWW CARRRRR?"

"Pot roast isn't for backstabbers. For persecutors! I won't share my meat with him!"

"Hello, [NAME]. Care to stay for some pot roast?"

"My meat! MY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"Ah, shit! Ah, shit on a stickaroo!"

"What are you talking about, this TV is brand new! There are no TVs with color on them."

"When a bee stings, it rips itself apart and dies for its audacity. This appeals to those worshipping a God that demands sacrifice and atonement. But the wasp is promiscuous. They are not as sympathetic to the masses because they don't die when they sting. They live to sting another day... and they take pleasure from that."

"Cut the crap. We both know you set that fire."

" I'm not threatening you...I just want to help."

"You can't shoot me... I'm an American! I have rights!"

"Ahhh... art's for Commies, anyway."

" You're a little vain, huh?"

"Uh, you're not that hot... get over it, toots."

"Yeah, I offed him all right."

"Nah, a nice fairy left it under my pillow."

"You're welcome to have this evidence, with my compliments."

"But what about civic responsibility?"

"You're a little brat."

"But you're a woman."

"Sure, I'd love to get it on with the ladies!"

"What's communism got to do with anything?"

"How can you SAY something so horrible?"

"[NAME]'s a swell name! My dog's name is [NAME]!"

"Nothing like an exploding head to get the blood pumping. . . . Literally, that is."

"The hell it is! You always were a kidder, [NAME]. Any real news to tell me?"

"I mean I don't know anyone! I don't remember anything! How many times do I have to say it?!"

"I need to feel something again."

"Yeah, I know what that crazy little bitch said, but it's not true!

"What makes you so sure she needs a penis?"

"I'd rather die than become as twisted as you."

"Would I kid about something like that? Why won't you believe me?"

"Screwing in the school broom closet. What will people think?"

"I did not speak, but my mind touched yours."

"I expect nothing. What must unfold will."

"Sure would be nice to have one'a them girly pi'cher books..."

"I don't know what it is about marriage that turns even the bravest man into a coward!"

"[NAME] has a... a liking for me. I'd call it a crush, but that's too innocent a word."

"That child needs a father. . . and [NAME], well she needs a good, hard penis."

"Money isn't everything for a woman. Can money keep you warm at night? Can you wrap your thighs around it, or rake bloody gashes in its back with your painted, harlot fingernails?

"There's things you don't know about the family business... but you'll learn."

"I am glad to see you taking an interest in the business in your dad's absence."

"Safeguards? There ARE NO SAFEGUARDS ... This is the fifties."

"Sometimes I hide in there beforehand, and daddy-o, I seen some stuff that's real nasty!"

"You were always a smiley bear."

"I know it's a mystery to you... The sacred things husbands and wives do behind closed doors."

"I could use a little relaxation ... But since [NAME] isn't here, I guess I'll talk to you."

"I'd rather die than become as twisted as you."

"You insult my beauty?"

"Well that didn't work."

"Shocked? This is the mystery of motherly love."

"Everyone says motherhood is fulfilling, when in reality it's draining."

"Violence is as American as apple pie and low SAT scores!"

"From the start, children are parasites. That's what you've got to understand."

"How about some cookies? There's some rejects in the trash!"

"I'm not a person, [NAME], I'm an object."

"Young man/woman/one, we really have nothing to say to each other."

"Say, can you spare a dime for a buckaroo who's down on his luck?"

"Things'll never be the same now. Guess I'll be watching TV tonight..."

"Well, I hope you're proud of yourself ... Killing my clientele."

"Excuse me, you can't come in right now, I just mopped the floor."

"I don't remember you."

"Land's sakes! Stop your joshing, wont you?"

"You look just like my mom ... Except for the hair."

"There's nothing bizarre about baking cookies."

"Only those who seek enlighten warrant my attention."

"I've never believed in the old adage, 'spare the rod and spoil the child' ... A rod is too thin. But baseball bat, that works quite nicely."

"My stars that was exciting!"

"Good women can be awfully hard on a man's needs, don't'cha know."

"That man gives me the willies ... Speaking of willies, how's your father?"

"That's right, I am the law ... And I'm on my lunch hour."

"Sometimes, I hide in there beforehand and daddy-o! I've seen some stuff that's really nasty!"

"Are you blackmailing us, you little shit?"

"Why are you covering up for him [NAME?]"

"Obviously, [NAME] is a lesbian."

"Lack of respect for authority ... A fine trait!"

[catgrassplantdad]

weekly tag wednesday! 💫

thank you for tagging me @darlingian & @energievie 🩷

which character from any media would you like to have as a father?: stealing chani's answer because no one could possibly top bob belcher 🍔

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?: as someone who used to work with exotic wild animals who were rescued from the pet trade and needed to be re-taught how to act like wild animals, i'm not gonna answer this one. i know some wild animals are more amenable to being pets but sorry i hate fun!!! 😇

what is your Chinese takeout order?: veggie lo mein or chicken fried rice

what's your favourite emoji?: 🌸 this guy but also 💫 this guy.

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?: we have a library and i'm obsessed with it, i wouldn't trade it for either of the others. it's a silly little room but i love it in there. it used to be a deck and the previous owners closed it in and made it part of the house, so the floor and ceiling are a little slanted. but i'm in there all the time in my cozy chair.

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?: hehe rugrats

what was your tumblr like when you first joined?: my old tumblr from 2013 was like a horny aesthetic blog with a little bit of fandom stuff and music stuff. the fandom and music stuff i reblogged was like carefully curated though, in keeping with the aesthetic. what a pain in the ass.

what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself?: i've been trying to think of something for like 20 minutes so i'm gonna skip this one lol

if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?: if i was dropped in supernatural i could make my way around that huge ass bunker without even thinking about it, which is so embarrassing.

what is your favourite piece of art?: i always come back to hero and leander by rubens 🌊

do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?: yeah, it's gray and it has a ram's head on it and says "fortune favors the brave" lmfao. my husband got it as a christmas gift from a coworker a few years ago and i've stolen it. 🐏

what fanfic trope is a quiet fave?: lately i'm really into whumpy hurt/comfort

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?: i carry a bag sometimes, it's a black leather backpack. i just looked and there's not much in there because i don't carry it very often. maybe the tylenol is weird?

If you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?: ah man, maybe lip? that feels like the obvious one. some enemies to lovers action. how fun would it be for those two to fuck it out?

what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?: AUs! this fandom made me an au guy.

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?: i think he tries! i think he wraps his arms under his butt and lifts him a little and staggers for a second, but it's easier when it's a piggyback ride. 🥰

who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?: carl or debbie! probably debbie tbh.

tagging @howlinchickhowl @gallawitchxx @whatthebodygraspsnot @heymrspatel @whatwouldmickeydo @gardenerian @deedala @rereadanon @ardent-fox @softmick @michellemisfit @creepkinginc @sam-loves-seb @palepinkgoat @ohkate @too-schoolforcool if you guys wanna play 💚