#i have been too busy thinking and also being stressed to high hell and back <3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

sorry for the Complete Lack of Scribbles! all i have to offer rn is this <3

[borathae]

"Jungkook is always plagued with guilt when he has to leave you for a business trip. His anxiety that you might be angry at him for not being present is especially high this time around and only your safe embrace can help him calm down."

Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: married life!AU, mild Hurt & Comfort, Smut

Warnings: Jungkook is anxious, stressed & guilty, he cries, she is so comforting, hugs and kisses, needy sex, sloppy mutual masturbation, handjob, pussy fingering, penetrative sex facing each other, until he pushes her to her back and fucks her missionary, strength & muscle kink, he is so passionate and rough in missionary, I don't think that there are distinctive roles in this, I guess you can call it Top!Jungkook with a Mommy kink, she calls him Bunny at first before he fucks her to the state where she can only call him by his name, dirty talk, sensory deprivation in the sense that they fuck in complete darkness, they're so so desperate for each other, tears because it's so good, multiple orgasms for her, creampies, cockwarming as aftercare, with cuddles and kisses <3, they're fucking soulmates

Wordcount: 5.3k

a/n: i wrote this after kook's solo concert because he did it to me. i also reread THE angst chapter of aaol and i think this influenced me as well. i really want my kookie back

The plane wasn’t supposed to land this late. The plans were all ruined. 

Jungkook scans his eyes over the kitchen. Empty. Clean. He abandons his suitcase by the stairs leading up and walks to the fridge. He opens it. His heart stings. The plans were all ruined. He wasn’t supposed to come home this late. You made dinner for him. The prettily plated food is still on its original plate for him. You put a glass bowl over it to keep it fresh. 

“Fuck”, Jungkook presses out and closes the fridge. He feels so fucking guilty that he wants to throw up. He should have been there. He should have eaten your food and talked to you during dinner. He should have fucking been there.

You knew that he wouldn’t come home. He was aware that his text came way too late, but he still had hoped that you hadn’t started cooking yet. Of course you had. 

It has been longer than a month since he last was in Seoul and you always cook the grandest things as a welcome home surprise. Jungkook doesn’t expect you to cook, you do it because you want to. Which makes him feel all the shittier right now. He wasn’t there to appreciate it. He had one job - the most important job of all - and he fucking failed you.

Jungkook walks back to his suitcase and lifts it. He will carry it upstairs and then do the laundry tomorrow. He can’t be bothered tonight. It’s already too late. He already wasted too much time being his shitty CEO self.

The dressing room is empty and clean. It faintly smells like lavender in here. He knows it’s because you cleaned this room recently. Jungkook discards the suitcase by the dresser and leaves the room.

He takes a shower in the upstairs bathroom. He didn’t want to go downstairs yet. He is a little scared to do so. He shouldn’t have arrived so late. He is scared of your reaction. He gets so sad when you are disappointed in him. He hasn’t decided yet whether it’s his anxiety disorder talking or the truth, but he thinks that you will be angry at him.

He is angry at himself. He’s a fucking shithead of a husband. That’s what he fucking is. 

Jungkook manages not to cry in the shower even if he really wanted to. His feelings are eating him up alive. He feels so stressed. So tired. So exhausted. Work has been hell. And the fact that it was in a country he barely knew the language of and he had to be without you made it even worse. He feels so drained. 

The shower doesn’t help. It cleans him, nothing more. Jungkook doesn’t put on clothes and leaves for downstairs. He uses the never ending city lights as his guidance. The wind carries the distant purring of the traffic to the windows. The slightly higher pitched pitter patter of his naked feet on marble floor is loud in comparison. The sound stops in sync with Jungkook stopping in front of the bedroom door. 

His hand is shaking. He has to hold it to calm down. He is so scared. You will be so disappointed with him. He wouldn’t even be surprised if you told him to sleep on the couch tonight. You never did so before, but things can change. One month is awfully long and he left you hanging today. He wouldn’t blame you if you sent him away. 

Jungkook takes a shaky breath for courage and steps inside. The room smells like home. Jungkook feels his throat tighten in emotion. This is what home smells like. And he was too late for it. He swallows down his tears and tries to walk it off.

The electric blinds are closed all the way, putting the room into complete darkness. Jungkook uses the light of his phone screen to tiptoe to the bathroom. He still needs to brush his teeth. He does so using his phone’s flashlight as the only light source. He didn’t want to turn on the big lights and risk waking you. Or maybe he didn’t want to look into his own eyes. He can’t bear to face himself tonight.

Jungkook leaves the bathroom door open and tiptoes to the bed. His phone screen gives off enough light that he can see you once he arrives by the bedside. 

You are turned to his side, resting your hand on his blanket. Your cheek is squished as you are sleeping halfway on your stomach. Your lips are parted as soft breaths leave you. Jungkook looks back at your hand resting on his side and gulps down the painful lump in his throat. You shouldn’t have had to fall asleep alone tonight. You shouldn’t have had only his memory to hold.

Jungkook picks up your hand so he could slip under the covers. You react to the gentle nudge with a hum.

“Mhm”, you let out and roll over, now showing off your back.

Jungkook is aware that you didn’t do it on purpose, but it feels like it. You turned your back to him and it’s his own fault. 

Jungkook tugs the blanket under his arm and touches your back. Up and down. Up and down. He feels you breathe. Your warmth is so familiar to him. He missed it so much. 

He missed you so much.

His eyes start burning.

“I’m sorry”, he whispers shakily and turns his back to you. He can’t face you anymore. It hurts so much. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to cry. 

The sheets ruffle as you move around again. Jungkook doesn’t feel the movement because you and he have separate mattresses and separate blankets to get the best sleep ever. You shared a mattress and blanket at first, but decided to upgrade your bed a year ago. Jungkook likes his mattress firm and his blanket thin, while you love to have a softer mattress and your blanket to be thick. And the little mattress movements as one of you rolled around or the blanket wars which once managed to wake you are gone as well. Changing one mattress and blanket for two was the best decision ever. You and he sleep like royalty these days.

Jungkook hears the sheets ruffle as you move around and then the sound of a hand sliding over soft sheets. Warmth touches his back. He tenses up, stays silent. You draw paths along his back, feeling him up. Seeing him. Just like he did all those years ago when you were still masked soulmates aching to be together. It became a little thing between you and him to trace the other in darkness as to make out if it was your other half. You became so good at it these days.

Your touch dances up to the nape of his neck after exploring his upper back. Jungkook shivers and aches to lean into your touch. He is scared to do so now. He already waited for too long to speak up. You’ll know that he is intentionally acting asleep to avoid talking to you.

You close the distance, taking him into your arms to pull him against your chest. You are propped up on your elbow, using the position to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck so you could kiss him.  

Jungkook exhales shakily, releasing all of his tension with a tremble. This just broke him. To be cradled and kissed. It broke him.

“Are you awake?” you whisper softly. The words swirl against his neck.

He nods his head.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

He hesitates. Should he be truthful? Will you be hurt if he was? 

He shakes his head. He can’t lie to you. Not like this. Not when you hold him so safely. Not when you have broken him with your embrace. 

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I’m sorry”, he presses out and sobs softly.

“Hey”, you gasp, straightening up, “hey, are you crying? What’s wrong?” you babble and roll him to his back so you could cradle his cheeks. You wipe his tears away, keeping close by resting your chest against his’, “what’s wrong, Bunny?” 

“I’m sorry for tonight. I’m so sorry for being late and, and not showing up. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay, hey it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. The flight was delayed. You couldn’t have known.”

“I saw the food”, he confesses and squeaks sadly, “I didn’t show up, I’m so sorry. I should have texted sooner, I should have-”

“How could you have texted me sooner if you didn’t even know that the flight would be delayed?” 

Jungkook falters. He sniffles repeatedly, taking sharp gasps for air to regulate his breathing. What you say makes sense to him. He didn’t even think of it yet, despite it being the most logical explanation. So it was his anxiety disorder kicking in. 

You caress his left cheek while your right hand guides your pointer finger up and down along the bridge of his nose. You call this touch your magic touch because there is some sort of magic in it to calm down any sort of anxiety Jungkook experiences. Jungkook flutters his eyes closed and sighs as comfort overtakes him.

“Now tell me how you should have texted me sooner, mhm?” you ask in a soft, comforting voice.

“I don’t know”, Jungkook whispers.

“Of course you don’t, it’s impossible. The flight was delayed. It was an unfortunate series of events and not your fault”, you assure him, “unless you intentionally stayed away. Mhm is that it? Did you not wanna see me already, you sneaky Bunny?” you add in a joking tone, making Jungkook giggle.

He shakes his head, “no Mommy, I wanted to see you.”

“Good”, you say in a fond voice and claim his lips in a smooch. 

Jungkook gasps because he hadn’t expected it. The feeling finally seeps into his consciousness. He is kissing you. After thirty three days without you, he is finally kissing you again. Jungkook whimpers and hooks his fingers behind your head, deepening the kiss with trembling lips. He is kissing you again. He is finally realizing that this is happening, that he is back with you. He hooks his arms behind your head and pulls you closer, asking for your taste. You part your lips and meet his begging tongue, while your fingers explore the softness of his hair.

You feel a little dizzy from sleep. You didn’t have the deepest sleep tonight because you knew that Jungkook would come home and you subconsciously refused to find deep sleep. So when Jungkook got into bed, the rustling of his blanket woke you. The pull was instant. You needed to feel him, make sure that he was finally with you again. Your body didn’t expect to be in the current position for such a long time. Your arms are weak and your head is dizzy.

You break the kiss because exhaustion makes you do it.

Jungkook chases you, rolling you and him over so he was the one on top. His right arm rests around you just a little under your breasts, his left hand is cradling your cheek while his right hand is deepening in your hair as best as your texture allows it. He claims your lips in a kiss again, whimpering into it as his body seeks your closeness. Two layers of blanket are keeping you apart. Jungkook doesn’t think, he merely acts and pulls his blanket off of him. Next your blanket. He opens it and slides his arm under it. He takes you softly in his hand and presses you against him at the same time as his body sinks under your blanket. He trembles. It is so warm under your covers and from what he can feel, you are wearing one of his sleep shirts. He grabs a bundle of it and twists, needing you to be so much closer than you already are. 

“Please”, he begs in a shaky voice, tugging at your shirt.

You sit up far enough that you can take off your shirt. You throw it to the side and fall back down.

“Thank you”, Jungkook whimpers and cradles you against his chest. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and places his right hand on the back of your head to support it for you.

You wrap your arms around him, letting out a sigh you didn’t even know you were holding in. You have him back. This is how your Jungkook hugs. Thirty three days without him are unbearably long. So long in fact that your skin started to unwillingly forget the warmth and softness of him. It comes rushing back again now that you are hugging without barriers.

“___”, Jungkook croaks and presses you closer, “oh god.” 

“I missed you too”, you whisper, burying your hand deep in his hair. You pull him closer. Your breasts squish against his chest, the pressure feels like heaven. It gets easier to breathe and releases you of tension you didn’t even know you possessed. You have your Jungkook back. 

Jungkook feels overwhelmed. He ached for your hug ever since he left. Thirty three days without you were hell. You are his constant in his life. When he comes home from work, you are there, hugging him and talking to him and falling asleep with him. When he leaves for work, you are right by his side, talking to him and kissing his cheek as he drops you off at university. When he has free time, he knows he can spend it with you. You are always there. You are his constant. The person who will always be by his side. The warmth he can always return to. So to go without you for more than a month was hell. 

“I missed you so much”, he confesses. 

“Me too, Bunny. Me too.”

You felt just as lonely without him. Years ago, you wouldn’t have batted an eye at the thought of being along for a month, but Jungkook changed you in the most wonderful of ways. He is your person, the comfort you most look forward to, the home you never want to leave. You have him by your side in the morning and have him back again by the evening. You share the last second of consciousness with him before sleep and share the first right after. And for the last month, you didn’t. You had to live without him and it was agony. 

“Closer”, Jungkook begs, “I wanna be closer.”

“Closer?” 

“Closer please.”

“Lie down on your side.” 

Jungkook obeys, keeping his arms around you. You seek him and slide your hand to his length. You brush your fingers over his tip, eliciting a trembling gasp from him. A small whimper follows. 

“This kind of closer?”

“Yes”, he squeaks and grabs whatever he can of your upper back. 

“I missed this feeling. You’re so soft.”

“I missed you too. Ah please.”

“Kook…”

“Can I-”

“Yes.”

His left hand naturally dances down your body, trying to locate your clit. You drape your leg around him, giving him access. He connects his fingers with your heat, sending electricity through you.

“Holy fuck, I’m sensitive”, you get out and moan. You take his cock and begin jerking it. He grows hard rapidly. Just as you soak his fingers at a rapid speed. You want him. He wants you. Too long you had to go without each other.

“Me too. Ah mhm”, he gets out and buries two of his fingers inside you. 

“Bunny….”

“Mommy…”

You cradle his cheek, rub your thumb over his face and stub his nose with your own. Your hands work desperately between your bodies, the tension is growing embarrassingly fast. 

“Bunny, I missed you so much”, you keen and squeeze your eyes shut. It feels so good. His long fingers are filling you up while his thumb is rubbing circles on your clit. He is so sloppy and needy in his touch, which makes it all the better.

“Me too, Mommy”, Jungkook gets out and whimpers, “oh god.” 

Your hand is fast around his cock. You are calculated on normal days, but not tonight. There is no coordination in how you touch him, just pure and honest desperation. 

“I don’t wanna cum like this”, you croak.

“Close?”

“Yeah, it’s fucking stupid. Fuck”, you slide your hand to his hair so you could twist.

Jungkook moans, tilting his head back all on his own while his pouty lips brush against yours. You kiss without really kissing. Just featherlight touches, tickling moans and traces of your tongues. The tension between you and him becomes unbearable. You clench down on his fingers, feeling his cock throb in your hold.

“Bunny, I need your cock.”

“I need your pussy too, Mommy.”

“Good. Take out your fingers.”

Jungkook obeys, touching your hip instead. Neither of you care about the wet mess he leaves on your skin. It’s just another proof that you and he are finally reconnected again.

“Good boy”, you praise and shimmy down just a little so you can take his cock inside. There is no friction, no struggle, no pain. Just warmth and overwhelming pleasure.

“Holy fuck”, you whisper and push him in deeper. Past your entrance. Your warm walls engulf him.

Jungkook grabs you and accidentally scratches you. He couldn’t help it. He is with you again. No one feels like you. No one does.

“Ah!” the sound bounces off the walls. He trembles and pulls you closer, “Mommy.”

“Bunny.”

“Oh god, I’m home”, he whimpers and starts chasing you. 

Your leg is still around him, his thrusts go so deep like this. You are so filled up with him, so stuffed. You are eye to eye even if the complete darkness prevents you from seeing each other. But you don’t need light to see each other. Not you and not Jungkook. You have your hands and fingertips to see. You started it back in the stuffy sex club room you met in and perfected it over the years in your loving home. You know exactly how he looks right now and in return he knows as well.

“Bunny, oh god, my Jungkookie”, you get out and shake, pulling him closer by his hair. The darkness makes it feel all the more intense as you claim his lips in a passionate tongue kiss. The sounds of it mix with the desperate rutting your hips are doing. The rustling of the sheets is audible as well, as are the needy moans both of you choke out constantly. 

You are hot under the covers. Sweat has formed on the parts where you are pressed together. You pull each other closer regardless, basking in the heat because you had to live without it for far too long. This is the only way to melt with each other.

“I love you”, Jungkook gets out and kisses you again.

“-love- too”, is all you get out between your hungry kisses, but Jungkook knows regardless. Even without words he would know. From your kisses, your embrace and the way your pussy is convulsing around him. Jungkook knows every ridge, every bump, every inch of how you feel inside and being allowed to experience it right now is the only proof of love he needs. He is the man who you allowed to go in raw, even back when you pretended not to care. You claimed him and sealed his sweetest fate. You loved him enough that you wanted to be without barriers and you love him enough that you welcome him home right now.

“You feel so good”, you moan and rut against him before your lips suck on his lower lip needily.

Jungkook whimpers, spilling tears of ecstasy. He fucks into you, feeling his legs shake. He is so high on you.

This is fucking for the sake of reconnecting. This is emotional. Deeply, soul-consumingly emotional. Is it kinky? No. Will either of you last long? No. Will it stay in your minds as one of the most intense nights ever? Yes. Yes it fucking will. This is the kind of desperate, needy, passionate sex you can only have after you have been without each other for a long time. It is dumb. It is raw. It is carnal and it is the only good thing which comes out of having to be without the other. Because no amount of foreplay, kink or fetish will ever get you to the level of starvation than forced distance does.

And you are starving. Oh, you are parched and aching for each other. Jungkook fucks you as hard as he can, while you rut against him as roughly as you can. It results in these deep, fiery thrusts, which fills you with all his cock and in return makes him experience every inch of your pussy. 

You are burning up today. You are hot around him, as if you had a fever. Jungkook can barely breathe because of it, gasping for air between his desperate moaning. And you are soaking wet. Soft too. So soft. Jungkook scratches down your back and pulls you closer. His left hand cups your buttock and stills your hips this way. He pushes. The kiss breaks with your needy moan. You roll to your back just enough that Jungkook can prop himself up on his right elbow and use the angle to finally bottom out. Truly bottom out because the position finally gives him a chance to do so. Your leg is still around him, while the other is under his weight. You can feel his sculpted thigh shift and tense as he fucks you. His thrusts are sloppy and so perfectly uncoordinated that they seem coordinated. The mattress shakes because of it. 

You barely feel it because he is currently fucking the senses out of you. This is the kind of fuck which reminds you why he managed to steal your heart and the proof of why you could never want to leave him. It genuinely fucks every sense of control out of you and turns you into the neediest, wettest pillow princess in existence. Tonight it impacts you especially deeply, leaving you to arch your back and curl your toes.

“Bunny”, you moan embarrassingly high pitched, throwing your head back as best as possible while Jungkook shows off the strength of his hips, “Bunny, oh god. Ah Bunny.” 

“Mommy. So good, ah Mommy”, Jungkook moans and drops his head into the crook of your neck. He pulls you closer until your head rests on his right lower arm and you have his biceps brushing against your nose. The gentle headlock he has you in heals you from aches you didn’t even possess before. You are so safe like this. He smells hot. As if he is burning up.

“Bunny…”

You are burning up yourself, grasping his broad, muscular back as your only connection to sanity. He is making you cum and it’s happening soon.

“Don’t stop, please”, you beg.

“Mommy”, he moans and continues because he won’t ever ignore one of your begs. You don’t beg often, so when you do, Jungkook is overtaken with the need to fulfill your every wish. Which means a lot because he always wants to fulfill your every wish.

“You’re making me cum”, you choke out and sob softly as you hug him against you.

“Holy fuck”, Jungkook gets out and squeezes you strongly as your body falls into the high. You are so tight around him, burning up and throbbing. No wonder you are sobbing. Jungkook has to grit his teeth from how intense your orgasm feels to him and he isn’t even the one experiencing it. And there is one problem right now. He still needs it longer. He doesn’t know if he is holding back because he is greedy for more or if his body is just working this way right now, but he isn’t done even when you are already coming down. He needs more. He wants you longer.

You are soaking his cock, pulsating around him as you slowly recover and it’s fucking messing with him. He needs you. He needs you so bad.

Jungkook uses his strength and rolls you onto your back completely. His cock leaves you for a second, but you barely feel the disconnection as the darkness and your passed high leave you disoriented. Your legs are spread open, giving Jungkook a chance to take his cock and push it inside again.

Now you feel it. Now you’re whole again. You whimper, tensing up around him.

“Not done yet”, he rasps with his hand twisting the pillow next to your head. He bottoms out and chases you instantly. Fast and hard. He fucks the juices out of you, filling the air with the sounds of it just as he fills it with the sinful sounds of his naked body impacting with yours. The bed is sturdy and yet still croaks. His throaty grunts and guttural growls fill your ears as well. You know for a fact that he is frowning right now, gritting his teeth because he always does so when he fucks hard.

“Ju-Ju-Jungkook”, he fucks his name out of you. He is fucking his cock right against the spots which steal your sanity. You can’t stop getting wetter because of it. Every second with him feels fucking orgasmic, “Jungkook! Ah! Jungkook!”

You grip his arm. His muscles are so tense, bulging under your fingers as he drills you like an animal.

“Jun-Ju-Jungkoo-ook.” 

“Yeah, keep moaning my name Mommy”, he growls deeply and curses, “fuck, this is…fuck.”

“Jungkook, ah god Jungkook.”

“That’s it, Mommy. That’s it, keep moaning my name”, he encourages you and rewards you with harsher thrusts. Of course this wasn’t his final form yet. Not Jungkook. Not your husband. He will make you believe that the sex couldn’t get any better before showing you not to underestimate him. He fucks you deep into the mattress just as he fucks you deep into a blurred state of ecstasy.

You are utterly and entirely his right now. And you fucking like it, moaning his name as he rewrites your definition of pleasure one harsh thrust at a time. 

“I missed you”, he is using his deep voice to talk, “I thought of you, urgh, of you being mhm being cockstuffed with me, ah mhm I’m going crazy, Mommy. Fuck.” 

He could tell you everything right now and you would barely take it in. Your brain doesn’t work. You are so dumb right now. So utterly stupid. If you weren’t on your back, you would have drooled. Instead you sob his name and writhe desperately.

“Fuck”, Jungkook spits and growls. His hips stutter for only a second. This is how long he needs to find his composure again and then he is already drilling you again, pushing your body closer and closer to your orgasms, “have to go again?”

“Ye-yeah”, you keen, arching your back.

“Let go Mommy, I’m right here”, he tells you and cradles your cheek.

The touch is all that was missing. You break apart with a loud moan of his name and your fingers desperately twisting his hair. He fucked it out of you from the deepest parts of you, which makes it all the more intense. You can’t even moan as it happens. His name was all you managed to produce before your voice gave up on you. You can’t breathe either, lying there with your lips parted and your back arched as Jungkook drags heaven out of you.

Your second high gives him a hard time. The needy fucking he did brought him to the point where he has to let go even if he wanted to hold back longer. His cock aches, his balls feel tight and the tension in his stomach has reached a painful level. While your lungs aren’t working right now, his’ are working overtime, producing the neediest, quickest pants for air. He takes a deep breath and exhales it through his mouth, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.

“I’m gonna cum inside”, he moans in a pitched voice. His hips stutter, but don’t lose speed, “gonna creampie your pussy so hard. Holy fuck, Mommy.”

You wrap your legs around him, closing your arms around him as well while your left hand buries itself deep in his hair and your right grabs his tense ass. You are barely present yet, but the need to feel him paint your walls gives you enough strength to pull him close.

“I love you”, he chokes out and lets go. He isn’t silent like you were. He is loud. Oh so loud that after a few seconds he needs to muffle himself by sucking on your neck.

“I love you too”, you whimper, “my loving counterpart.”

“Oh”, he sobs and pulls you closer, “my soulmate”, he squeaks and tenses up again, “no-not done. Ah!”

“Let it all out, fill me up Bunny. Please don’t hold back.”

Jungkook paints you white until it drips out of you and his body’s strength forsakes him. The comedown is intense. Because Jungkook never stopped fucking you even after your high stopped, you never got to calm down and because Jungkook fucked himself to the point of ruin he feels just as needing for your embrace.

“Are you okay?” he whimpers.

“Yeah. You?” you get out.

“Yeah.”

He shivers and twitches on top of you, blanketing you in under his body weight and the real covers. They slipped off his back in the rough fucking so that now, they are only covering your lower bodies. You don’t feel cold because you have him keeping you warm.

Neither you nor him can talk for the first few minutes, sharing forced silence as your brains try to relearn how to speak. His ears are ringing, you can feel your pulse in your head. You are both sweaty, the heat grows in your bodies now that you are so melted together. His cock softens slowly, still filling you up and keeping most of his seed inside. Good. You don’t want him to leave yet.

You finally have him back after more than a month and you would be a fool to break the connection sooner than necessary. You know that sooner or later you will have to stop this. Not only because of your important post-sex pee, but also because Jungkook can’t fall asleep like this.

At least this is what you believe. Jungkook is in the midst of drifting off to sleep. Jetlag, stress and exhaustion are finally catching up with him. Now that his mind is cleared of that initial dulling desire for you, it is finally truly sinking in that he is back home. And being back home means comfort and sleep. Still being inside and having you cockwarm him while your fingers are drawing hearts on his back forces even more sleepiness to the surface. He is home. Sleep can finally come.

“Bunny?” you whisper, scratching up his back gently. Goosebumps follow your touch. He shudders as you drag shivers out of him.

“Hm”, the sound barely wants to leave him. It tickles your neck.

“Are you falling asleep?”

He nods his head slowly.

“Don’t”, you chuckle softly, shaking him by his back gently, “the post sex pee.”

“I’m tired”, he breathes and sighs, “so tired. Work…hell.”

“I know, Bunnybaby I know. But spending your break from it having an UTI is gonna suck.”

“Not yet. Please.”

You give up fighting him, exhaling deeply through your nose. He sounds so needing of what you currently have. You need it as well. 

“Fine”, you say and fish for the blanket to pull it over your bodies, “a few more minutes.”

You hug him against you, cradling the back of his head. Jungkook sighs and relaxes on top of you.

“I fucking missed you, Kook.”

“I missed you too.”

[star1ight0]

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader "could've said something"

Guess what! I have issues and crave comfort so HERE WE ARE AGAIN. (It's 11:48pm as of rn send help) (Just finished it's 1am and I fell asleep halfway through)

Your quirk: Light manipulation. You can move and summon light, light bending, summoning balls of light ranging from small particles to large masses

Bakugou was always a.. scary kid to say the least. You two grew up together and he had a soft spot for you to say the least. When you got your quirk it was a lot to say the least between shining light in your faces and burning holes places. Eventually you got the hang of it. It did however make you wary of when and how you used it. Katsuki on the other hand seemed to get how to use and control his right away. The two of you trained together and Katsuki taught you how to make explosions with the light you could summon. The 2nd year of middle school you had to move because of your moms job and as much as he made it seem like he didn't care he made a point to ask you to keep in touch.

It was the second semester of classes yet you were just now starting UA high, class 1-A. Your mom had decided that because it was a little too far you'd move into your old house and she'd find work elsewhere, UA was a top school how could you say no to that argument? Late transfers and acceptance was rare enough for a top school. But it also meant you get to see him again. You thought about calling him and telling him but you thought it'd be better to wait till you saw him in person, you were next door now.

Most of your stuff was in your dorm by now, having the first day before settling in was a true blessing.

It was starting to get dark and the stress of it all was starting to hit you, thinking of how much you had to catch up being in 1-A and all. You made your way up the stairs finding the roof door. Making your up you got a text:

Kat: Hey. You busy?

You: Never am

K: got a new person in the dorm next to me, if they are loud I swear I'll end them

Y: I'm sure you'll be fine, don't kill anyone please.

K: Not that I care, but you've been radio silence for a few days

Y: I think if you have to say you don't care you do. Sooo talk to me when you can process your emotions then maybe I'll talk about mine

Love you.

K: whatever

"Everyone this is Y/N L/N, now be nice and be on time tomorrow" he said quickly walking away right after, a few people walked toward you to ask questions when they are all promptly showed away by the blond hot head. "The hell?! What the fuck were you just not gonna-" he was cut off by a hug. As he was debating on hugging you back you hear a girl's voice "GUYS THE NEW PERSON JUST HUGGED BAKUGOU!" the crowd of people grew and you felt a hand grab your wrist pulling you away. They all clump together continuing the conversation. You take the lead pulling him up the stairs onto the roof.

If anyone else had even remotely talked to him that way you were sure they'd be dust. But you cared about you too much to even yell at you unreasonably. Now at the top staring up at the cloudy dark sky you sigh mumbling to yourself "guess I'll make my own stars" you lied down on the roof making small glimmers of light float into the sky.

Not sure of how long you'd been out you looked at the time on your phone, bolting up at the time. Your new teacher Aizawa had instructed you to be in the common room by 7:30pm to introduce you avoiding using class time for it. It was 7:28. You bolt down the stars finding a room for people sitting with their teacher. You stand next to him with an apologetic face. You look around looking for something to focus on when your eyes land on blond hair and a familiar angry tone.

"Hi, I go here now. " You said with a smug look on your face you summon a little ball holding it for light between you. "Still gonna kill me if I'm loud?" You say in a teasing tone. You look up at him seeing a light pink on his cheeks. "I thought.. I wouldn't get a chance to see you again after I got kidnapped and everything. The least you could've done was say you were in town" he says a shift in his voice and body language making him self more guarded. "sorry I wanted to surprise you" you say wrapping your hand around his.

"I- I know we only ever all and text but I've missed you and being around you. A lot. "

"i missed you too. Ass hole."

"you love me"

He flinches at the words spoken feeling his grip tighten on your hand. Pulling you into a hug.

[dreeki]

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ my best friend's brother. [part 1]

pairing: bsf's brother!jake x f!reader

warnings: loser jake(not so loser, i don't know how to write jake as a loser... sorry), sunghoon is jake's brother and a year older than him, jake and y/n are the same age

syn: your best friend is busy with uni while you start your senior year of high school. what happens when your unexpected study partner turns out to be his brother?

note: not proofread! hope you like it 🙌 leave your thoughts in the comments pls!!

☆ you and sunghoon became friends during your freshman year of high school, despite being a year younger than him. he was the one that welcomed you to the unfamiliar place and the two of you bonded quite fast. ever since then, he would always hang around your house and you spent almost all of your time with him, whether you were celebrating an achievement or trying to comfort each other. neither of you liked to talk about your families, feeling like the topic would sadden the mood, thus why the only time family had been brought up was when sunghoon mentioned that he has a younger brother that is currently living in a different city, due to their parents being split up, each taking one of the brothers to live with them. he rapidly showed you a picture of his brother, jake, but you could barely catch a glimpse of his face before the photo was snatched out of your line of vision.

fast forward to the summer before senior year, you and sunghoon were still close friends, not even noticing that the boy had graduated high school already, since his university was in the same city. you would still regularly hang out and chat daily until your bodies would remind you it's time to rest. many people wondered how the two of you were so close, yet weren't dating; neither of you have ever thought about it. your relationship with each other just wasn't that way. you were simply good friends and you had always been grateful for that.

two weeks before the start of your final year of high school, sunghoon told you that his younger brother is gonna move back in with him. "why now though?" you asked a bit confused. "jake said he found a really good university here and thought i'd be easier for him to move now, rather than next year" "oh.. yea, sure, it makes sense" and that was the last conversation on the topic.

assignments had started to get sunghoon stressed once the first year of university started. he was extra busy now, making it harder for you to communicate the same way you did during summer break. of course you weren't going to blame him; you could imagine how hard uni was and how it must be so exhausting for him, especially as a first year student. you were just a bit bummed that you hadn't had the chance to meet his brother yet. sunghoon mentioned that he wanted you to meet jake at a fancy dinner, so now you had to wait until your best friend was finally free from the hell that university is.

senior year wasn't as bad as you expected. yes, the teachers wanted more from every one of you, but it was honestly less stressful than what you thought it was gonna be. since sunghoon was currently drowning in books, you decided that spending more time at the library, studying, will help you a lot too; getting better grades and filling the hole left by sunghoon's abscence. it was also nice that you got to see the handsome face of an unknown boy every time you studied there.

the third week after school started, you could almost swear that your physics teacher was trying to kill you with the amount of homework she gave you weekly. that particular wednesday though, it was worse. you spent a few hours at the library trying to finish your work but it was just way too complicated for you to finish it by yourself.

that's when you noticed the handsome boy was also doing his physics homework; the only difference was that he seemed to know what he was doing... without even wanting to, you had been staring at that boy for a good 3 minutes now, thinking how god was so unfair. "why not me?!" you squealed before you could stop yourself. looking around to see if you had disturbed anyone you notice the boy looked up at you with puppy eyes, confused as to why you seemed so distressed.

he tried to get back to his assignment but your sighs and cries were a bit too distracting. that's when you were suddenly approached by the handsome stranger. "hi.." he awkwardly said. "i couldn't help but notice that you seemed to be struggling with your paper, no?"

damn it. now pretty boy knows you're not as good as you try to make yourself look. "haha.. yea.. physics just isn't my best suit, you know." "totally!" he looked so dreamy with his long brown hair and cute black glasses sitting perfectly on his gorgeous gorgeous nose; you felt as if you were admiring a sculpture. "did you hear what i asked?" huh?? what did pretty boy say? "haha" he chuckled softly with a slight smirk on his face. "pretty boy asked you if you needed help with your homework" the mortified look on your face looked like it was taken straight out of a horror movie. "oh no. i'm so sorry. i did not just say that out loud, did i?" "i'm afraid you did, but don't worry, i think.. you're pretty too" and that's when your brain started short circuiting.

"i'm jake by the way!" jake? like sunghoon's.. nahh. "i'm y/n!" "oh! pretty name for a pretty face" you looked baffled "wha-" "sooo.. did you say you needed help with that?" "yea.. yea.. that would be really great actually!" and that's how you got yourself a studying partner.

if only you knew what was waiting for you in the future...

a/n: thank you so much for reading!! 🫶 sorry for not making this only one part but it's actually taking me longer than i expected to write this 😭

[halfetirosie]

▼✧♦ "Enter this contest!" they said. "It'll be fun!" they said. ♦✧▼

(Exercise 21 - 24 React-os!)

1) WILSONNNN!!!!!

Yes, I know I already made this joke, but I don't care. (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Funny coincidence tho; Cast Away was actually playing on T.V a few days ago! I of course had to watch it---I realized I haven't actually watched it in probably over 8 years---and it's a good-ass movie, ya'll!!! If you ever get the chance to watch it, you should!!!!

I also think it's neat that Eiden has canonically seen Cast Away...Or at least, he's aware of its existence through memes.

2) Fuckin hell bro, Quincy is so endearing, I can't handle it!!!!

It's so Dad Energy™ to zonk out at the beach and get buried in the sand, tbh. ♡

And Eiden's really living up to his Little Devil nickname! 😈

3) Premium Sooley + 🐾 Cat Dad Dante 🐾 content!!!

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dante: "Ha, look at you guys playing around! Pathetic!"

Dante: *Is literally playing with his cat*

Now watch, Dante's gonna claim this isn't "playing" but is just training Sooley to get used to the water---

PFFFT!!!! (≧∇≦) Called it!!!!

I mean, you do know it can be both playing and training, right, bub? 😅

He's such a prideful little stinker!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡

4) GUYS, IN THE AUDIO AT THIS PART

🚨🚨🚨DANTE LAUGHS!!!!!!🚨🚨🚨

*Obnoxious squealing*

*Swoons so hard I fall down the fucking stairs*

*static*

🎶 We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait for us to fix the problem. Thank you for your patience. 🎶

🎶🎶🎶

🎶🎶🎶

*static*

Dante is seriously having so much this event, and it's such a joy to see!!! This dude might have been borderline forced into participating, and he might be using "research" as an excuse, but this is the happiest we've seen him in, like, a long time!!!

No, seriously, think about it! The previous 3 event he featured in (Sunburst Fever, Blood Secret, and Desert of Dusk), Dante was busy with official business. They were pretty damn stressful for him.

But my mans has finally caught a break!!!

(⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ◡ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝)

5) ASSIGNED DORITO AT BIRTH!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I know that the lil' symbol is probably supposed to actually represent Dante's tattoos, but I'mma just pretend that they're his sharp-chin head on a Dorito body:

6) This can be interpreted in two ways---

Extremely horny

Extremely threatening

7) A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE WORD "LUMBERJACK"

(⊙ ㅁ ⊙)

BITCH BE FELLING TREES WITH HIS BARE HANDS!!!!

😱😱😱😱😱

Sometimes I kind of forget that Quincy has the potential to be really fuckin scary... He's so likable, but he could crush somebody's skull without even breaking a sweat...

8) I also kind of forget how excellent all of the clan members are in combat scenarios...

These dudes are literally sending lethal attacks back and forth, dealing with them all seamless.

On the one hand, it makes me proud of our bois, being so talented and all. But also, seeing them go all-out against each other is kind of a harsh reminder of how, at least in this respect, Eiden really is the odd one out...

9) Wait, did he have his tail out during this event????

THEN WHY DIDN'T THEY PUT IT IN HIS SSR?!?!?!

WHAT THE HELL, WE WERE ROBBED!!! 😡😡😡😡😡

10) Oh, come on! Really??? (◔_◔)

Did they really need to turn this into an "everybody wins" scenario???

Look, I love a happy ending as much as the next guy, and I know that the stakes of this event weren't exactly high. But this ain't a kids show that needs a squeaky-clean non-controversial ending. I want someone to win! Give us a clear winner!!!

Fuck it, I'll say it;

🔥 DANTE SHOULD'VE WON!!!! 🔥

I mean, COME ON!!! He absolutely crushed it this event!!! And he wanted to win more than anyone else, too!!!!

My dude finally had a mini-vacation for the first time in ages---LET HIM HAVE THIS!!!!!

DANTE GOT ROBBED!!!!!

11) Damn, poor Eiden! :(

Our boi was so close!!! I was really rooting for him!!! (I know I said Dante should've won, and I still think so; but if anyone else were to be the winner, it should've been Eiden. He really put a fuck-ton of effort into this event; gotta love an underdog!)

😂 Eiden really is being a great sport about this!

(And that was probably the funniest way of congratulating those three on their great performance in the competition.)

⚠️WARNING: GLOOMY COMMENTARY AHEAD!⚠️

But idk, man...

Maybe it's because I get way too immersed/empathetic when reading, but I feel way more sad about Eiden's loss than I probably should be.

Like, obviously, losing doesn't feel good. Nobody likes failure. And since Eiden is the protag, we're all sorta on his side by default.

I guess I boils down to what I said earlier; in comparison to the clan members, Eiden really is the odd one out. He doesn't even come close to their power; and even when he was trying his hardest in this competition, the odds were so insurmountable, there was no way he could ever win.

🤷 It just pokes at an inferiority complex that feels shitty.

🌸 End of report! 🌸

[persephoneflowerpetals]

Hey!!! I hope you’re doing well :) I feel like you’ve been feeling a bit down recently I dunno I could be wrong and you’re just busy but either way I hope your week starts to get better soon!! I just wanted to drop by and check on you and make sure you’re all okay!! Ik you’re probably busy as hell but keep up the good work!! You’re doing good :D!! I’m proud of you!! <3

Hi! Oh my goodness thank you so much!!! I seriously appreciate you sending this!!! This made me very happy!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I genuinely didn’t think anyone would notice, but at the same time I haven’t been as active on here as I usually am so I guess it is a little obvious lol. I was honestly thinking about making a post talking about this but yeah. You’re correct on that. I’ve been struggling with my mental health recently, mainly my anxiety.

It’s really weird because I’ve been doing fine life-wise. I mean, we had a tropical storm come in last week, but it didn’t really affect me or my family or anything and it’s long gone now. It’s been pretty sunny recently lol. But like, back in April I was still working in retail and I had that car crash where my car got totaled and I had to look for a new car AND a new job (which worked out in the end because now I have a nice new car and a great job that isn’t as stressful for me), but ever since I woke up from a creepy nightmare last week, I’ve just been really anxious and on edge. I’ve been having trouble sleeping and been having more eventful dreams and occasional nightmares. So I’ve been more tired than usual and feeling off. Idk I guess it subconsciously triggered some hidden pent up anxiety or something. Similar thing happened to me in high school before I was diagnosed with anxiety but it was A LOT worse because I didn’t know why I was feeling the way I did so I had a hard time coping.

Anyways, I was trying to stay offline for a while so I wouldn’t trigger any anxiety because I felt like every little thing would make me anxious. I’ve also felt too anxious and tired and uninspired to write or post, so that’s another reason why I haven’t been active. I’ve just been trying to focus on myself and my life right now, trying to find some help now that I actually have decent insurance lmao and just trying to focus on things that will keep me calm for the time being.

I will say that I’ve been doing a little better. Like yesterday and today I haven’t felt as anxious and I haven’t really had any nightmares. Just eventful dreams lol. I even got the inspiration to work a little bit on the next chapter of ‘Til Death (I’m kinda stuck on writing a scene for it so I’ve had a bit of writers block with that lol) last night so that’s progress I guess lol.

But like I said, I really really appreciate this ask! It means a lot to me that you guys care about me that much ❤️. Hopefully I’ll be back to my normal self soon and I’ll be back to posting my silly Hades and Persephone stuff lol

[bewilderedbunny]

Weedman (Eddie x Reader fluff) 18+only!

This was originally going to be smut but I got distracted by the idea of flirting with Eddie while he makes bad jokes. Just over 800 words, no pronouns are used for reader.

Warnings: Lots of drug use talk, reader's mom speaks of food in a negative way, there's a joke about sex work but it isn't at any sex-workers' expense (it's just Eddie being silly) reader is a stressed out college student, I think that's all.

*I also wanted to mention, I did not come up with the joke Eddie makes at the beginning of the phone call, it's just something I've heard around and I'm not sure where it originates from

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Part 2 is here

You had just finished exams for your Junior year of college and you were drained. Normally, you would stay in the city while working for the summer, but this year you decided to take a break and go back home to stay with your family. You had hoped this time off would provide some much-needed relaxation. Speaking of relaxation, you had become a bit of a pothead while away from home. The amount of weight that magic little flower would lift from your shoulders was incredible. You hadn't smoked in high school, but you remembered the local dealer at the time. "Reefer Rick" how could you forget a name like that? Unluckily for you, Rick was picked up last month and wouldn't be out until your break was long over.

You thought this may be for the best. You had been smoking pretty regularly to help alleviate the stress of school, maybe a tolerance break could help reset your nerves. Then that night your mom asked if you were really going to have dessert since you already had a roll with dinner. You realized weed might not be enough to get you through this break. Maybe horse tranquilizers or a lobotomy would do the job.

After dessert, which you savored every bite of, you went to your room and decided to try to find a new supplier. After a few unhelpful phone calls consisting of people reminiscing about high school (how could these people miss hell so much?), you decided to call Robert Swan. He was a friend of a friend who seemed to know just about everything about everyone in Hawkins. Robert let you know that Rick had someone dealing underneath him.

"Huh, I never took Rick for the "management" type."

"Well, he's not exactly running a Burger King but yeah, he's making his way up. Oh my god, did you hear about-"

Robert rambled to you, gossiping about people you couldn't care enough about to remember. After "oh really?" and "no way"-ing your way through the conversation, you got the information for the dealer, thanked Robert, and said goodbye before he could trap you into listening any longer.

You sighed while looking at the paper you had written the dealer's information on. "Eddie Munson" the name was unfamiliar to you.

You dialed the number given to you and after a few rings, a man answered.

"Hawkin's mortuary, you kill 'em, we chill 'em. Would you like to make a reservation?" You took a second to process what he said before realizing the joke.

"Yes, please. Embalming table for two?"

He laughed and sounded embarrassed "Oh shit, I thought you were someone else. Sorry about that. Thanks for playing along."

"No problem. Out of curiosity, who did you think I was?"

"My uncle, he calls me on his lunches at work sometimes to check in, it's fun to mess with him, make him laugh."

"That's sweet he checks on you."

"Yeah, I guess it is." Eddie leaned against the wall twirling the phone cable with his finger.

"Oh, who is this, by the way?"

You tell him your name and how you heard about him.

"Words getting around that I'm the new go-to man, huh? Maybe I should make business cards."

You reply, "What would they say? Eddie Munson: amateur herbalist?"

He laughs and says, "Was thinking: 'Eddie Munson: Dungeon Master, Musician, Weedman, Phone Sex Operator.' Maybe add a drawing of a wizard or a dragon too."

You giggle at his silliness and say, "Don't forget to add mortician to that. How's the phone sex business treating you?"

"Not great, still haven't figured out where my dick goes in the phone." you hold your head in your hands and laugh. He laughs along with you.

You look at the clock, it's already midnight.

"I guess I should ask you about buying since that's the reason I called."

"Oh yeah. Shit, this salesman stuff is hard. How much do you want?"

"What can $50 get me?"

"$50 worth of weed."

You roll your eyes "Sounds like a deal. Can we meet tomorrow? Say 10 am?"

"10 am?! What am I, a doctor?! Who gets up at 10 am during the summer?"

You laugh and say, "Sorry, I didn't think about your beauty sleep. Please forgive me. How about 2 pm?"

"He agrees and gives you his address

"It's a date. Have a goodnight, sweetheart."

"Sweet dreams, Weedman."

Once you hang up the phone, you realize you've been bouncing your leg this entire time. You're unsure if it's from the general nerves or the fact that you've been flirting with a stranger. Was that even flirting or were the two of you just idiots? You think about tracking down your old yearbook to see if he's in there, but decide maybe it'll be better to have the mysterious Weedman's appearance be a surprise.

[dragon-queen21]

hi back again ! sorry for my small absence, my school year just finished and testing is approachin & ive been very stressed ☹️

but this time its gonna be about sanji (like the last two were supposed to) this is actually kind of angsty,, um,,, whoopsie

-i have a hc that during wholecake when sanji was with his family he was actually regressin. i dont think he was fully regressed but definitely wasnt fully big the entire time. please tell me you understand what im gettin at here. the amount of stress he must have been dealin with, unfortunately he needed to cope somehow, kind of angsty i know, but sanji fully regressin the second hes safe and with his crew again, and luffy (and the crew) just being there to help him (they didnt leave his side for hours)

-sanji is the straw hats resident baby like i said in a previous ask i believe that him and luffy regress the youngest, both needin the most care and attention out of everyone else in their straw hats agere universe. hes not as clingy as luffy, but will get fussy if someones not with him

-for some reason i am so diggin usopp watchin lil sanji, I DONT KNOW I FEEL LIKE THEYD HAVE A BLAST

i feel like usopp would be tryin SOOOO hard to helo sanji have a good time considerin usopps not his primary cg

-the girls are the ones who mostly care for sanji when hes little, robin being a little more motherly, and nami bein sweet and spoiling the hell out of him

-sanji called one of the girls “mommy” once and got SO embarrassed. locked himself in the kitchen stress bakin until the one he gave the title too came and talked to him

-once JUST ONCE he called zeff when he was really little and was genuinely tryin his hardest to act big when he was talkin to zeff. i cant imagine how he would react exactly, or if he woukd even understand what was happenin or what agere even was, but he raised this boy he can tell when somethins up. imagine franky, or robin, brook or someone findin him and having to slowwwlllyyy take it away from him and apologize to zeff so he can get back to his job

OKAY IM DONE BECAUSE IM TIRED RAAAH I HOOE YOUR HAVING A GOOD DAY sorry i think this is really difficult from my normal asks/rambles sanji is more personal to me than anyone else on the crew so i think about his highs and lows a lot more than anyone else in the crew! im sorry if its a bit to angsty ☹️

(also sorry i want to drop this,, inosuke agere? real? him regressing and hes just like a nonverbal baby boar. very very energetic kiddo)

(ive also been slightly fixated on ‘metal family’ recently as well. mom the hyperfixations are fightin)

📷

Hi hi! Good to see ya :D please ignore how long it took me to respond, this has been such a busy week for me and my mental health has been a roller coaster. Ooh I get the stress before tests, praying to Jesus for you that all goes well <3 Make sure to study a little, take breaks, and get a good night sleep before and I bet you will do just great! :D

Okay onto headcanons now~

~Sanji kind of teetering between headspaces is so real. Not feeling safe enough to fully regress but also his brain pushing him to be small because he’s upset and usually being small means getting comfort. He would probably crash and burn for days after once it finally hits him that he’s safe. Practically drunk of off familiarity of his crew.

While I am kind of aware of whole cake I’m not up that point in the anime, if I was I would give you a better comment, but alas :<

~The resident baby prince. Ahhh I love him so much. First thing I thought of is Sanji being sat in the corner with a blanket and some toys content to play by himself, but the moment whoever is watching over him leaves it’s instantly tears and crying. Object permanence who? If the baby can’t see his crew they therefor must have disappeared and left him and he is going to be sad about it forever. Never to be consoled agai- oh wait never mind they’re back now. All is right with the world.

~Usopp watching over anyone would have a blast. Let’s be honest- it’s Usopp. Something about him just screams caregiver coded.

~Okay but Sanji calling Robin “mama” promptly realizing what he’s said because Robin is so shocked she’s not responding, he’s not about to stick around and find out what she thinks of the accidental nickname, and going to stress bake for hours <- the best idea ever. It makes me so happy. Bdbjbcjdnjdnsj (Like I haven’t said this a hundred times before, I’m soft for mama Robin can you tell :3 )

~I’ll raise you one. Calling up Zeff but it keeps happening when Sanji is looking after regressors. The phrase “I’m telling!” gives Sanji a near heart attack. The ex pirate has gotten used to getting calls from little straw-hats, so imagine his shock when it’s Sanji regressed and calling.

These weren’t too different I would say. Besides I absolutely adore angst just as much as I love fluff. Like let the baby’s suffer a bit >:3

(Very real. The most real actually. Inosuke never got to experience a normal childhood. Let. Him. Cope. 👏)

“mom the hyperfixations are fightin”

😭😂 love that

I’ve never heard if metal family before. I do however understand the fight between hyperfixations. (Looks towards the 5,000+ word Genshin Impact fic I’ve been writing and essentially ignoring all my other current projects for) It’s tough being in multiple fandoms, the struggle is real my friend

[ask-the-pale-elf]

(Cont. from he gives you one last glare before walking away)

They don’t go after him, not right now anyway. He needs some time to cool off and they need some time to figure out their response. Plenty of time to do that while cooking.

They wait till after everyone is fed and asleep, or, well, most everyone. Walking over to Astarion’s tent, they say the words they’ve been mulling over, “I’m sorry. You were right,” they raise a hand to keep him from interrupting them, ‘It’s hells of a lot easier to be selfish. And I try and be a hero, a saint even. That’s just how I’m selfish in my own way, I guess. To give myself a feel good feeling, a pat on the back, by helping others.”

“I didn’t say any of that stuff before to make you feel bad, and I’m sorry I did. I’m sorry you’ve been through the literal and metaphorical hells and back. I’m sorry you e been hurt so much. I’m sorry you got your life taken from you before it really even began. My feelings haven’t changed though. You have your way of handling things, I have mine.”

“Mine just so happens to make me want to be a hero. Want to help others. Maybe it’s for my own peace of mind or feeling of goodness rather than it’s for their sake. Maybe it’s so I can feel better about myself.p,” their eyes shift from Astarion to the ground and their voice turns wry and derisive, “Maybe it’s because I’m so selfish in wanting to play the hero, I can’t mind my own business and drag others into helping with me against their will all so I can get that feel good feeling,” they scoff at their own words before looking back at Astarion, voice becoming more neutral, “Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter.”

“I am how I am and I won’t change,” they throw their arms wide and begin to gesture more and more dramatically, “Try and take advantage of the wannabe foolish hero. Throw me in the face of whatever monster we face next, use me as a meat shield, drain me of my sickeningly sweet goody two shoes blood, kill me, I don’t care! At least then we’ll both get what we want. I get to die feeling like I actually did something good, you get a ‘foolish hero’ out of your way, hells, even Lae’zel will get something out of it by having one less person to worry about turning into a mind flayer!”

“Or,” they bring their back back closer to them and cross them over their chest, “we can try and get along until we figure out a way to rid ourselves of our little hitchhikers. You won’t ever have to look or even think about the stupid adventurer who wanted to play hero. I’ll get to be selfish in knowing I did a good thing by helping others and being able to feel like a hero.” They snort as they mockingly mirror their previous words, “And Lae’zel won’t have to be on edge sharpening her sword, waiting for one of us to bust tentacles out of our skull.”

They don’t walk away this time. Instead they look in his face and try to see what he may be thinking, “We’ll each get what we want. It’s just a matter of when. Maybe I’ll throw myself into death’s arms trying to play hero before any of that, who knows. Until any of that happens, we should try and get along. If only so we work well together in battle, if nothing else.”

It’s as close to an olive branch as they’re willing to offer.

- Starlight (tell me if these are too long please, I have anxiety and worry. Also, you’re totally okay for lack of updates, you have your personal life offline and shouldn’t feel obligated to update if you’re busy or stressed. Hope all works well for you!)

(Cont. from here)

His ruby red eyes narrowed at you as you forbade him from interrupting, how utterly rude of you. First you prided yourself on your moral high ground, then you strolled up to his tent without any invitation, and now you told him to shut up!

Astarion stifled the urge to bear his fangs at you, he'll tear a new one into you later. As he kept listening to you go on and on, he couldn't help but roll his eyes. How naive.

You really thought you were making a difference, didn't you? The pale elf knew your kind very well, intimately even. There were many a bedfellow who promised to love him or hells even free him from his master, but they all failed. By either running with their tails between their legs or being disappointed by Astarion not being the affectionate damsel in distress they wanted him to be. Either way they met their ends swiftly enough.

Even heroes wouldn't stoop so low as to help a vampire spawn and in his eyes, you were no different. Astarion had half a right mind to take you up on your offer and suck you dry and leave you in the dust. But...

He knew your potential, as much as he would hate to admit it. The vampire spawn needed you, he needed your strength to finally take down Cazador.

Astarion bit into his lip in frustration, "Fine! You're more useful to me alive than dead anyway. Just don't expect me to like what you're doing, least of all be nice."

He turned his back to you in a huff, frustrated at your good points but somewhat relieved that you had his back.

[blubushie]

How did you get over addiction

Through suffering.

It depends on what addiction you're talking about. I've had two: nail-biting and alcohol abuse.

On nail-biting: honestly, it was willpower. I was ashamed of my hands. Around January of this year it got particularly bad and I decided that I didn't want my hands to look like this anymore and so I forced myself to stop biting. Any time I got the urge to bite I'd redirect to something else--I'd smoke, I'd chew gum, I'd keep my hands busy and away from my mouth and my mouth busy as well. I still nibble the skin around my nails rarely, but I'm no longer biting the nails themselves and the skin nibbling isn't noticeable at all. My nails have grown out and while the beds are permanently damaged from 17 years of nail-biting so they'll never reach full strength, I was recently compliment on them (by people who'd never seen my nails before!) and it made my world.

On alcohol: I haven't gotten over this addiction. I still relapse. I've relapsed a total of three times now. However the reason I continue to relapse is because I also continue to drink. I enjoy drinking. It's a bad cycle and one that I have to look at critically. For alcohol, it's not so much as ceasing to drink. This helps some people--some people need full abstinence because that's the only way to ensure they don't relapse--but it doesn't work for me. Full abstinence only makes me want to drink more, which then results in binge-drinking when I finally have access to alcohol.

I only relapse when something is going on in my life. Usually when my depression gets particularly bad and I end up turning to alcohol to cope. In the time I was a full-fledged alcoholic (Apr 2020 to Aug 2020), I was a functional one. People wouldn't look at me and think I'm an alcoholic. It was at the end of the day when I was alone that I would overindulge and get drunk. And unlike nail-biting, I can't redirect my longing for alcohol. It's always there at the back-brain somewhere (this is probably due to me never quitting alcohol completely). It's more just a matter of ignoring it to the best of my ability.

My first relapse was in winter of 2022 and what got me out of it was a heart-to-heart with god. Sounds cheesy but it worked. I weaned myself off my physical dependence and made a rule that for the next few months I would only drink with supervision and whoever I was drinking with would cut me off after a certain point. This worked and eventually I was able to drink responsibly without supervision without overindulging. Withdrawals were fucking hell.

Second relapse was July of this year. I got some bad news that hit me like a brick, withdrew from everyone, and turned to alcohol while I got my shit together. I wasn't so heavily drinking that I had severe withdrawals but I did have the shakes for a few days. I came out of the relapse because I had shit to do that I couldn't do as an alcoholic, even a functional one. I needed my head on straight.

Third relapse was August of this year (honestly it was only part 2 of the second one, brought on by constant stress) and that one I came out of also by force of will. I stopped drinking, my dad helped me lock up all the booze in the house and in Matilda, and I went through terrible withdrawals for about four days. I'm still drinking but I'm now on an agreement with someone near and dear to me plus my father that I'm only allowed to drink and get pissed on the weekends and I can't drink at all during the week except a single beer a day, but I haven't even been drinking that daily beer. It's been working well for me and has made a good reward system for my abstinence during the weekdays.

But in the case of nail-biting and the first time I stopped being an alcoholic, the thing that spurred me to finally get my shit together was shame. I'd always been ashamed of my hands but something happened one day, I'm not sure what--I think I was high as balls and spent too much time looking at my hands--and I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to be like this anymore. So I forced myself to stop. And there were relapses. But I got there eventually.

With the alcoholism, it was external shame. I can handle sympathy. I hate pity. I had a broken heart, I'd lost Wiluna and my girlfriend, I stopped being a stockman and through that lost the job I'd loved most, I'd left behind the Akuna and got a new job as a commercial roo shooter. I rang my mum one morning and spilt my life out to her and the fact that it was only 9am and I'd already had four beers and there was a long gap of silence and the first thing she said after all that was "Honey, you have a drinking problem."

And I felt shame. Shame that I let myself reach that point, shame that my mum heard me slurring like that, shame that she had to be the one to wake me up to what I was doing to myself, shame about how I must've tarnished my name over the past few months to everyone who'd had the misfortune of meeting me. And like the nail-biting that came earlier this year, I immediately decided that I didn't want my mum to be ashamed of me. So I got my shit together, quit cold turkey despite being fully aware of how it could possibly kill me, and I walked out into the bush.

And I came back sober and with a new name, so it all worked out on my end.

[thessalian]

Astrid vs the Goblin Camp

But first, some Visitations

Rafael: Oooh, looks like you're in a spot of bother. I could probably help with that ... for a price.

Astrid: Um ... thank you for the ... very kind offer. And ... you know, the banquet and everything, though I've got a bit of a thing about powerful magical entities and foodstuffs after the Hag And Undead Husband Incident--

Rafael: ...Sorry, how am I hearing the capital letters on that one?

Gale: She insists it's fractional pauses between words. I still can't quite manage it myself. Perhaps it's a bardic talent.

Astrid: Anyway, I'm afraid we're a little full up on deals with beings from the various hells. I mean, still not really liking The Actually A Tiefling Incident very much--

Wyll: I did apologise for that!

Astrid: Not blaming you! I mean, I was pretty suspicious too until The Exploding Hyena Incident. ...Look, sorry, but I think we'll find a way that doesn't involve an open-ended bargain with a demon, or a devil, or whichever sort of entity you are because you're clearly on that end of the spectrum. But thank you very much for the offer, and have a lovely day.

Rafael: You'll be back. ...Though now I really have to wonder--

Astrid: You'll be The Demon Dinner Party Incident.

Rafael: ...Ah.

And again...

Spooky Whispers: Find the Prism for the Absolute and--

Shadowheart: FUCK. OFF.

Spooky Whispers: *do, in fact, FUCK. OFF*

Astrid: Okay, I think I've been really good about not asking about the whatsit so far. But now I kind of have to ask. What is the whatsit?!?

Shadowheart: Honestly not sure, but most of my memories are being held as collateral until I get it to Baldur's Gate.

Astrid: Oh. So ... when I asked a little more about you...

Shadowheart: Well, yes, that was mostly the memory loss, but part of it was trust issues. But if it helps, I like night orchids, and I can't swim.

Astrid: ...I will find you ALL the night orchids. And maybe teach you to swim. If you want. Might take less armour, though.

Shadowheart: *perks up*

Controller Person: *starts seriously rethinking romance choices*

And, because infiltrating a goblin stronghold is the best time for this

Gale: Okay, so draining magical artefacts isn't so much working anymore and if I don't do something about this really ill-considered gift to my last lover, I am going to explode.

Astrid: ...I'm generally willing to leave the past as your business, but I kind of want to know who your last lover was that a gift you gave her is enough to kerboom you.

Gale: Um ... Mystra ... as it happens...

Astrid: ...wut.

Gale: Also ... the explosion wouldn't just kill me. It'd take out an area about the size of Waterdeep.

Astrid: ...................How much do we need to have extracted from you?!?

Astarion: So ... Shadowheart ... you wouldn't happen to have--

Shadowheart: No! Unless that's something they made me forget, but ... almost certainly no!

Astarion: Well, there you have it. Either Astrid feels she couldn't possibly match up favourably to Gale's ex, or he explodes and takes himself out of the running.

Shadowheart: Shut up!

Astarion: Oh. Oh. You'd accept pining from afar if it meant she didn't have to feel the pain of someone she cares about dying! You, a cleric of Shar, no less!

Shadowheart: My greatclub could be sharpened to a stake, Astarion...

But finally, into the Shattered Sanctum

High Priestess Gut: So you wanted to talk?

Astrid: Ummmmmmmm ... not so much. *pulls lute; to the tune of The Sound of Silence* "Hello goblin, my new foe / You are a creepy so-and-so / Since you're making all the tieflings stressed / We've come to do the violence we do best / And your allies / Won't hear your cries for help / Not a yelp / Because I'm caaaasting Silence..."

High Priestess Gut: ............*mouthing obscenities*

Astarion: *critical-hit SHANKs her to death*

Astrid: ...Anyone else think it's kind of ironic that a spell that makes a Silence has verbal components?

And, a little further in

Minthara: Go burn down the druid grove!

Astrid: Oh, for-- how many times are we going to have to save it from you idiots?!?

Minthara: Owowowow!

Astrid: Whoops. ...Wait, what am I saying; I mean good! 'Scuse me, Astarion...

Astarion: Waitwut--

Astrid: *performs dive-bomb on lute and Thunderwaves Minthara right into the chasm, destroying the bridge in the process*

Shadowheart: ...I have to admit, that's a lot more impressive than "yeet".

Astarion: Yes, but I can't jokingly copy that one.

Astrid: *shooting at Scrying Eye* Slay now, praise later, please and thank you! There's going to be backup, and unless they have the jumping prowess of a turtle, the bridge being out won't keep them at range for long!

Astarion: Ah, yes, but two can play at that game. *leaps over chasm, grabs goblin, FEEDS*

Gale: You had to give him those boots, didn't you.

Astrid: I was very disappointed that they didn't give him bunny ears.

And, awhile later

Ragzlin: The mind flayer corpse won't talk!

Astrid: I could ask some questions, if you want...

Ragzlin: You're a bard; you can talk good. FINE.

Astrid: What ... is your name?

Ragzlin: ...What the--?

Astrid: What ... is your quest?

Ragzlin: ...I don't--

Astrid: What ... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen bugbear?

Ragzlin: Hey, waitaminit--

Astrid: *Thunderwave dive-bomb on the lute*

Ragzlin: *goes flying*

Astrid: No convenient chasms here, though. Shame.

Stabnation: *ensues*

And, during a really needed long rest...

Astrid: So ... I've talked to Wyll about the pact he really needs out of, Gale about the ... kerboom thing, and Shadowheart about her whole deal. Want to tell me about the monster hunter?

Astarion: My master in Baldur's Gate wants me back, apparently. And there's nothing we can do about it if he wants to take me, so I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to tell you this.

Astrid: Do you even look at the things I ask you to carry?

Astarion: *peers into haversack* Alchemist's fire and ... what's this?

Astrid: Holy water, or so Shadowheart tells me.

Astarion: What the f-- are you trying to kill me?!?

Astrid: No, I would have put it in your wine if I was trying to kill you with it.

Astarion: That ... is a singularly horrible mental image, but go on...

Astrid: Just because those things work against you doesn't mean you can't use those things against other vampires. And you have options he doesn't. Like, being out in the daytime.

Astarion: You are suicidally overconfident ... and yet all of that might work. Yes, I think I'll echo Shadowheart here: I fear you.

Shadowheart: I do not fear her anymore!

Astarion: Oh, nonsense you don't; you just worry that your devotion to Shar might get in the way of--

Shadowheart: *throws a half-rotted treacle tart at Astarion's head*

Astrid: ...I was wondering why you were carrying those around. Anywaaaaay... How about we get some rest because we still have to find Haslin down in the pits and we should probably rescue Volo too.

Astarion; Gale; Shadowheart; Wyll: Volo's an arse!

Astrid: Yes, but he's an arse that doesn't deserve to be rump roast for goblins, okay?!? They were cooking dwarf out there!

Astarion: Still, couldn't I just take a minor nibble?

Astrid: Gods, no. Stupid might be catching.

Gale: So you can be insulting about people when you're out of range?

Astrid: That or he has a really bad headache right now. Either way.

[anamoli]

Color Match & Durability Results

The sample swatches for Talanah's cosplay have all arrived! I also took the swatches to the climbing gym and rubbed them on some rocks to test their durability. Thankfully, no one asked me what I was doing.

In conclusion,

The burgundy brocades were thinner than expected and I'm going to hold off purchasing the fabric in search of something more durable

The turquoise hammered silk did not shred as easily as I thought it would. This gives me confidence that with the burlap and embroidery reinforcements, it'll survive climbing

The turquoise faux leather is perfect in color and durability

The burlap fabric is also perfect in color and durability

The gold velvet for the sash is disappointing. I will be holding off purchasing that fabric in search of something better

Below are the detailed results of the color match analysis and durability testing:

Color Match Results

Burgundy - Wave Brocade

This one is a little misleading. At certain angles, the color looks just like the listing photo, but in direct light it looks redder than burgundy. Otherwise, I'm happy with the color with respect to the cosplay.

Burgundy - Crinkle Brocade

I think this is the same fabric as the wave brocade, but it's been processed differently to make the crinkle pattern instead of the wave pattern. It is a consistent color at all angles though, so it is redder than the listing photo.

A huge difference between the wave and crinkle is the sheerness. The wave is practically see-through while the crinkle has a thicker interfacing which helps it block more light.

Turquoise - Hammered Silk

It ended up being a tad bit bluer than the listing photo, but it's still gorgeous. I can definitely move forward with using this fabric for the shirt with respect to the color.

Turquoise - Faux Leather

This made me wonder if I received the correct sample swatch... It's way bluer than I expected. However, since the hammered silk came out to be bluer, the two actually work well together.

I also bought a swatch of suede to compare to the faux leather. But since the faux leather is so nice (it's thick and holds its shape well), I'm going to go for all faux leather to make the armor pieces. I went with a different, cheaper suede for the climbing gloves.

Gold - Burlap

Honestly, just spot on. It's perfect. Because it's a loose weave, I will be backing it with a similar colored cotton fabric I have left over from prior projects.

Gold - Velvet

I wasn't too happy with this one. It is a tad bit too orange and the most unfortunate part is that it gets worse at different angles.

You can see it in the second picture: on the left side the velvet matches the burlap decently, but on the right side (where I've rotated the velvet 180) that it's way too orange. I'll hold off on sourcing the fabric for the sash since it's not a piece that requires a lot of work anyway. If push comes to shove, I'll use the same fabric I'm using to back the burlap.

Durability Results

My process for durability / stress testing was going up to a wall with more natural features and rubbing the hell out of the swatches. Like, grabbing either side of the swatch and really grinding it into the wall. I also crumpled and scrubbed the swatches in as well.

I would have liked to continue testing until the swatches were destroyed, so I could get a feel of how long the cosplay could last for, but it was a bit busy at the gym and I didn't want anyone to ask me what the hell I was doing.

Burgundy - Wave Brocade

Yeah, this isn't going to work out. On top of being so sheer and thin, the metallic weave got messed up immediately. I don't have high hopes for survivability for real climbing.

Burgundy - Crinkle Brocade

I'd actually say that the crinkle did better than the wave. There is a small tear and some of the metallic weave did get worn down/shifted, but it held up decently well. I may still put selecting a fabric on hold for a bit, but this one will be the top choice if I don't find any better alternatives.

Turquoise - Hammered Silk

I am actually so pleasantly surprised by how well this fabric held up. I was expecting full tears, like rock just shredding through this stuff, but all it did was get a little fuzzy where I was rubbing it on the rock! You can see a comparison of the surface of the fabric where it was rubbed and where it wasn't.

I still won't consider this type of fabric for the burgundy pants, since it would go through significantly more stress, but I have some peace of mind that the shirt won't be destroyed if I bump into a rock.

Turquoise - Faux Leather

This performed as I expected it to. I did think about using this instead of the rubber for the climbing gloves, but I don't like the discolored scuff marks, so I'll continue with the dyed rubber as planned.

The velvet and the burlap swatches aren't worth reporting here with pictures. They barely had any damage done to them.

[dailybeastarsthings]

Chapter 53 - Not All Heroes Wear Capes

Maimai Milk used to be an established factory, producing high quality milk in the north western part of the city. It was founded by a single cow, who wanted to help other animals who were unable to feed their babies, be it carnivore or herbivore. Soon, the small business was unable to keep up with the orders and she had to hire others. All went well, until a group of businessmen tried to purchase Maimai Milk from her. Though the offer for the business and the trademark was rather generous, the founder declined it, due to the policies the businessmen wanted to follow. However, a few days later, she mysteriously disappeared and was found three days later, killed in her apartment. Maimai Milk got in the hands of the business men and ever since, the factory has been run by those fat cats. Well, quite literally as the business was owned by three rather sizeable leopards.

After the takeover, the credibility and quality of Maimai Milk dropped significantly. With all the stress going around, the employees, who were simply referred to as “suppliers”, couldn’t produce the same amount and quality. In order to keep the figures up, the employees were ordered to take drugs, which not only increased the amount of milk they could produce, but the quality of it, too, making it almost reach the quality of that of a younger cow. The drugs, however, had terrible side effects from sleep deprivation and heavy breathing to sudden chest cramps and dizziness.

One morning, during a company audit, they announced that an inspector was expected to check out the factory.

You, suppliers, are going to smile and have fun today! Are we clear!?’ one of the managers yelled. ‘Nicole, I want you to put on some makeup to cover those bags under your eyes!’

‘Yes, sir!’ Nicole responded and went to the changing room to do so.

‘Where the hell he could be?’ one of the other leopards asked impatiently, to which another offered to check outside.

Nicole walked back to the changing room and put on some concealer under her eyes and blended it with her fingers, hiding the signs of exhaustion. He thought back to a recent incident involving one of her colleagues and friends. Together, the always support each other, even during the hardest times of the milking procedures. A few days before, though, her friend got really sick from the side effects, dropping to the floor, almost fainting. She was escorted back to the changing room to rest, but later had o be rushed to the hospital. Fortunately, a little rest and calmness resulted in her recovery. Nicole was still upset, though. Understandably.

‘The have no shame in treating us like this…’ Nicole thought as a teardrop rolled down her face before seeing a face in front of her. It was the inspector, who was a middle-aged zebra.

‘You’re crying’ the inspector said.

‘Oh, it’s just because she has chronic hay fever!’ one of the managers tried to save the situation. ‘It’s nothing, really. Anyway, we’re glad you’re here when you’re so busy!’ he continued, trying to schmooze with the zebra.

‘Well, it’s my job to inspect workplaces where carnivores and herbivores work together.’

‘Being a civil servant isn’t easy, huh?’

‘I have a question to ask, ladies. Does everyone enjoy working here?’

‘Of course! This workplace is really –’ the manager was cut off by the inspector who grabbed him by his throat.

‘I don’t think I remember asking you’ the inspector said, tightening his grip around the leopard’s neck. ‘This factory is known to have terrible management. And you’re wrong if you think I’ll let you throw your weight around forever.’

‘You’re definitely not an ordinary herbivore’ the manager squirmed in the inspector’s hand.

‘Oh, but I’m just an ordinary herbivore, who’s proud to be one…’

To everyone’s surprise, the zebra began to tear his stripes off his body, leaving a completely black body to be seen.

‘Herbivores bodies are not renewable resources. They are vital. This society perseveres because of the tolerance of herbivores and also… because of me!’

The inspector stood up straight and removed his shirt, revealing a muscular torso, yet a slender physique.

‘Yafya?!’ one of the leopards yelled in surprise.

Indeed, the herbivore who came to inspect Maimai Milk was not an inspector. He wasn’t even a zebra. It was Yafya, a black horse, who was the Sublime Beastar. Yafya was known as a manifested guardian deity, always watching over the city as some kind of superhero. With how muscular he was, he seemed to have had a carnivore’s body. Having a completely black body, his presence seemed to exude a demon’s aura.

‘I’ll put the laws of this society back in their place’ Yafya said as he walked closer to a manager, cornering him between milk tanks. ‘The sad truth is that only the strong can lead. They have the right to rule, regardless if they’re carnivore or herbivore. However, the strong must have compassion.’

The manager breathed heavily in anxiety as Yafya walked closer. In a mere second, Yafya kicked with his left foot, right next to the head of the leopard, causing a sizeable dent in the solid iron tank. The leopard let out a terrified scream.

‘Did I scare you? Good…’ Yafya said s he pulled out a check from his back pocket and handed it over to the feline. ‘This is for the tank.’

The leopard read the check, which caused his jaw to drop.

‘This is simply too much’ he said.

‘Well, it’s not skin off my bones, since I’m a Sublime Beastar. All I want is that you use the extra to better the working conditions of these ladies’ Yafya said with a gallant hand gesture while looking at the cows. ‘Make it so they don’t have to use those drugs to have a place in this factory. You ladies must have been suffering a lot. I’m sorry I couldn’t come here sooner… Now, take care.’

With that, Yafya exited the factory without turning back. He walked outside and ran up the stairs to the roof of a nearby building, watching over the city horizons.

‘Today’s mission was a success’ he said to himself as he basked in the city lights. ‘But, it’s time for me to get back to the office… I still have plenty to do…’

Yafya’s office was similar to a CEO’s. Modern furniture, black marble flooring, some pretty expensive paintings and the usual windows that rose from the ground to the ceiling. The only difference were some planter boxes with an automatic watering system, which yielded a peculiar amount to harvest almost every day.

When Yafya got back to his office, somebody was already waiting for him. It was a beagle, called Darth, the chief of the Metropolitan Police Station.

‘Good evening, Yafya’ he said, a bit intimidated by the presence of the Sublime Beastar. ‘I’m here for my monthly report on peculiar predation cases.’

‘Yeah, sure, whatever’ Yafya shrugged his shoulders while pulling some carrots from the planter boxes. ‘I hate this job more than anything to be honest…’

‘Well, the alternative is letting the police have complete authority for which reports on extreme and peculiar predation cases should be censored from the public. That’s why it is my duty to report cases of the nature to you…’ the beagle said, lowering his head. ‘I can’t begin to understand your anxiety but this isn’t easy for me either…’

‘Well, well, the police chief is still not used to being in my presence I see’ the black horse laughed as he placed the carrots into a blender on his desk. ‘Just relax.’

‘Why shouldn’t I be nervous? I mean, you’re the one and only Sublime Beastar. You’re the top of this society, bringing us all together. You and no one else.’

‘Okay, that’s enough flattery’ Yafya said as he poured the carrot juice into a glass and took a sip out of it. ‘Just show me the papers already.’ He took a careful look on the numbers and figures listed in the documentation. ‘Well, that’s quite a drop from last month. Well done, chief.’

Yafya turned the pages and saw the picture of a gray wolf.

‘What’s this?’ he asked. ‘A 17-year-old wolf ate the leg of his deer friend… How interesting. This happens all the time, though. The media would eat this to pieces. Why do you want to censor it?’

‘Well… um… Because the wolf had the deer’s consent to eat his foot. That’s what makes it peculiar…’ the chief answered, trembling in anxiety. ‘There’s a chance this news could cause an increase in predation incidents.

‘So, as I understand from the report, the wolf committed predation so he could take down the culprit of a predation incident? And the deer gave him his consent to eat his foot in order to do so… What the hell? This guy’s philosophy is insane! Fighting fire with fire… This sure sounds dangerous making this guy even more interesting… It’s good that he’s still young.’

Yafya closed the report and placed it neatly on the desk.

‘Why don’t we keep an eye on him?’ he grinned. ‘He may be awfully sturdy but he sure has a tough road ahead of him… I want to see how he manages to survive!’

[ovaryacted]

Hi hello 🩵🩵 what have you been up to nicc??

I have come back to tumblr after a while and am very excited to see the newer fics of the grumpy Texan dilf <3

As for me I found a job for the summer and am working customer service for the first time (I always knew it was awful but this is hell). the wage is decent so ig I won't complain too much lol

Also off topic but I have been a straight woman all my life and then suddenly a pretty lady on a motorcycle blew me a kiss yesterday and my brain short-circuited so ig i have that to figure out as well 😭

Summer's not going as I expected in the slightest but I'm not complaining, it's been good <3

Otherwise I'd like to know how you're doing, I hope you're okayy ❤️❤️ I believe you talked about being overworked the last time I was on here so I hope that's going better too 🩷

Alr now time to binge all ur recent work

-🌑

Hey new moon anon, I’m happy to be hearing from you again hun. 🥹

I’ve been busy really, with both writing and stuff with my personal life with work and family. Basically I’ve been all over the place and I’m trying to just figure things out even though my anxiety has been at an all time high given the political circumstances of the U.S. and the current state of the world. I’ve always been relatively sensitive to things like that and sadly my mind jumps to the worst case scenarios and it has made me spiral in the past so wouldn’t recommend.

But I’m trying to distract myself by writing for the Texan dilf and some other separate individuals. Ain’t nothing wrong with some diversity (I added more white men to the roster NAUR).

Oof, working customer service truly is a killer, I’ve been there in more ways than you think. Go get your money and really try not to let people get to you cause working in customer service forces you to understand that common sense is not that common (goes for both customers & management), and that people would be more willing to take out their personal problems on you than to seek a therapist. Those type of jobs also just radicalize you to hate capitalism even more, so genuinely if it gets to a point where you can’t handle it, just know you don’t ever have to stay in a situation like that. Protect your health and sanity boo, as crazy as the world is, these jobs truly aren’t worth the stress or money. 🫶💕

I’m sorry to hear your summer hasn’t been going all that great. It’s been a strange couple of months I’ll admit, but I hope that the remaining parts of August are much better than the previous couple of weeks. I hope you enjoy the rest of your break since I know you’re in school and will probably go back soon. And let me know what you think of those fics, I’m really just on a “fuck that old man” role LMAO! 😭💖

[behindbrowneyezz]

It's funny how time changes things isnt it? One minute you're super close to everyone around you, you're busy with work, extra activies, extra chores, maybe you try to sleep in an extra few days that month...then before you know so many things have changed. I feel bad that tomorrow is Indys birthday tomorrow and no one is really trying to hang out. I just feel like over the last year shes done nothing but expect us all to do what SHE wants...now everyone's tired and dont want to go and spend a ton of money on a night out when we can be at home doing the same for not even half the price. I love her, but life is hard as it is. WHY can't she be a better friend to us all? I'll never get it. Weve all been so nice to her as well and i think she just MUST have control, but the thing is we all just want to be able to be ourselves. I feel bad, i feel like Sarah is always going to break down and do what she wants...even Fernando. Im pretty sure that's why she gets upset with me, because the second i feel like youre trying to be in control of me..or make me feel less then, i just wont come around. Its actually that simple for me. I have such a hard time being around most women that are older then me. I also feel like mr. dub is literally constantly lying to me. I cant stand it. Ive never met someone so exhausting to be around besides my own blood relatives. i suppose that's used to draw me to him. I used to love how much he reminds me of my father. ..now all it does is stress me out. Its a drag actually. Looking back im not even sure why i clinged on so tight, besides the fact that he truly reminds me of my dad. the devil. I hope one day i can forgive them both for all the pain they have caused me over the years. It's even more exhausting to constantly relive through all that pain. I think my dad used to be one hell of a man. He was full of courage, love, and excitement. He hated people but he would give the shirt off his back if he felt like he should. Sometimes i wonder what really happened in his head in 2010...what made him so unhappy all of a sudden...was it really his marriage to Angela? Was it money? Did he really hate all of us at home all the time? or did he hate the fact that we weren't home enough? I wish he wouldn't of shoved me away so much. Some days its hard to love myself because i wonder why he raised me to be someone he was going to hate for the rest of his life. Its funny too, considering he never can go a week without talking his mommy. Yet, he expects his own children to be able to live a life without him, any guidance, etc. I wish i didn't hate him, I wish i could just forget about him completely. Anyway, more on that later...

Also, why the fuck are men so God damn gross?! AND fucking just pathetic most days. I truly dont get it. NO one wants to see you little dick, no one wants to hear about your stupid fantasies, no one gives a fuck about what you look like without a shirt and pants on. I mean good grief....The amount of guys that grossly still hit me up from high school...talking about 'wow i would love to see you, ya know i had a big crush on you back then' like yea yea yea sure sure sure...baby go get off somewhere else and leave me alone. I find it sad. Maybe guys really do have that hard of a time to find someone that they can sleep with on the regular...but truthfully they shouldnt be hitting people up from 10 years ago because they are horny. Its disgusting and sad. SO SO sad. Yall need Jesus. Well thats all for now, im going to go shower and maybe cut my babies hair. <3

you're loved, you dont need your dad or any other man for that matter to tell you otherwise. IM sorry people have always let you down, maybe one day when youre gone, they will actually miss you. stay strong, keep smiling, and for the love of God, finish the lost boy tonight.

XO, Ashh

[froghospice]

walk in the rain, lightning on my roof

[NOT CLICKBAIT]

today was so rainy there was a flash flood warning. at the peak of it i went for a walk because i haven't really left the house that much in the past couple days so i was itching to do literally anything. so i went!

you would think the worst part about walking in the rain is how heavy your clothes get, or the soggy shoes, but it's really everyone staring at you. i'm aware that walking in a storm is weird behavior, but i needed to leave my house! it just happened to be pouring at that time. halfway-ish through i stopped for ice cream. as i was walking it made me laugh how much water was in my sundae. it also made me kinda worry about the air quality lately and how that is definitely in the clouds and i'm eating it. but we move.

   my postponed plans were supposed to be today. i know why they also didn't happen, but i'm still kinda sad about it. having a small circle is nice until everyone else is doing stuff when i wanna do stuff.

           it made me feel like i was in high school and alone. kinda in my regression era. i was watching hours worth of nostalgia earlier and i wanted to turn myself inside out because i'll never have that much fun again. but it was nice to feel like i was going to.

i also threw myself a dance party earlier, and it was okay. really, it felt performative, which is weird when i was the one who wanted to move around. maybe i need to find new music because for the most part i wasn't dancing for anything other than the fact that i thought dancing would make me feel better, which defeats the point i think.

there are so many things i want to do but i can't bring myself to do them and it's so frustrating. like things that require me to use my brain. sometimes i feel like i was business hours, and anything outside of that i can't function. it's annoying. like capitalism really trickles one way i guess.     things are so quiet. they have been. i kinda hate when you can hear the world working. it means you aren't working with it, just standing still. and stillness is okay but also it feels like a waste almost? cause stillness is not rest. rest blocks those things out. stillness is feeling the world move without you. like there's a you-shaped aura of nothing and all the atoms in the room are avoiding you. the world works together, life is all about connection and moving parts. living and dying. pieces that fit and mold if they don't. adaptation. stillness is a protest against that, almost. how dare you, it says as it gets out of your way.

   also my building got struck by lightning today. and i wasn't there! that was during my walk. i had stopped at 7-11 soaking wet and 10 pounds heavier to get some coke-zero because i keep forgetting to stop at places that sell the 12-pack. i like the guys at 7-11. i think they like me too because i always have my card ready and i say thank you. and i'm not stoned and i get the same couple things every time. every once in a while i see them out in the wild and it makes the both of us jump because we never acknowledge each other because we know this relationship's intimacy only lies within the walls of 7-11. one of them got a face tattoo recently and it's interesting. i keep thinking what's up with that? like...you work at 7-11 what did you do? anyway

       after that i went back to my apartment. there's this cool old guy who has a house right across the street. and he worries me because there's always a firetruck or ambulance or any first responder there. like at least once a week it's scary lowkey. there's also always police outside of the bubble tea place literally 30 seconds away from me. which is hilarious. why is there so much crime at Tai Chi? the owner always looks stressed as hell, which, i would too so i don't judge.         but anyway        i was walking back home and this time there are firefighters and they're outside my building for a change! and i was like huh... and they wouldn't say why which i think is worse than being vague. cause grace ripped out our fire alarm so if it was our unit i'd have no fucking clue. but turns out lightning had struck our building.

   in a weird way i wish i was inside when it happened. there are a couple things i'm convinced are gonna happen to me, but i will keep them to myself minus one. my dad got struck by lightning so i feel like i will too. it feels like something that would happen to me. it happened to my building but idk if that counts. that's hilarious tho. grace isn't here and i forgot to tell her so when they sent the update email she sent me a couple frantic texts and it made me laugh.

it's already july and i feel like my life is over. this is dramatic, but true. i don't know what to do with myself these days and whatever i come up with i end up disappointed. maybe this is just being in your 20s but honestly i have felt like this for ages. whenever i look up my birth chart it tells me most of my aspects suggest that the only happy parts of my life are the beginning and the end. which so far seems like it'll reign true but that also makes me so anxious for when i have good periods of time. like i have a good week and it makes me feel like i'm gonna die by firing squad.

i wish i could explain things better but i think that adds to my charm. i kind of want to go on another rainy walk. really i want the soggy clothes feel. i can't explain how making myself look pathetic is so healing but it is. maybe because i'm doing it to myself. maybe because i need to weigh myself down. the last 5 minutes of my walk was so nice in terms of that. like my pants were so heavy yet they were kinda sticking to my legs? and my sweatshirt was heavy too but it wasn't sticking to me. idk i felt like a man. i dressed like a guy on purpose so people would leave me alone. made me happier than i thought (the masculine expression, not the being seen as a scary black man thing). the being seen as a man at first was interesting. cause like i know but i haven't seen it first person, you know? it was also funny seeing people kinda shifty but then as i got closer they say i was a girl and they relaxed a bit, but also not cause why are you so soaking and acting normal about it??? i would jump too honestly. but i was free

   also when i was in 7-11 i felt kinda bad cause i was literally dripping all over the floor. like as you can probably infer, dear reader, i was very wet. like my clothes were way past 100% saturated and yet i was still walking in the rain so yeah. i did laundry immediately after getting home cause yeah... very wet. also i like those pants and i wear them to work all the time.

i think that's it for now. signing off.