#i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so I think you should go to Libi's room and help her get ready for nursey/fake get ready for school so then no one has any need to burst into the spare room and your idea is he can keep sleeping, whether you will be woken up by everyone else going about their day is up to you] Jimmy: [that's cute Libi will be buzzing and that boy does need to keep sleeping so I will let you] Janis: [she will, we gotta keep her away and distracted, fingers crossed mcvickers are also working and busy today, at least enough that we can get out later if we need to] Jimmy: [there's every chance you'll still get woken up by Cass blowing your phone up because obvs she'd be worried about you but at least that wouldn't be as early as Libi would rock up] Janis: [that makes sense, that will probably be before Janis comes back in the room, like when Cass and Bobby are up and getting ready to go to school 'cos we're likewise faking it] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I figured so I shall hit you up] Jimmy: You going to school? Janis: 🤫 Janis: just going for my oscar Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Jimmy: What you gonna do to ❌📞 that takes it off you? Janis: I don't care if they know I'm bunking Janis: just didn't need them to come in and see you Jimmy: you could just go in Janis: well yeah, I could Jimmy: I get that you don't fancy it but Janis: You don't have to stay here Janis: or have me come with you Jimmy: 💭 about you, not me Janis: well it's nice of you to be worried about my education Janis: but there's no need Jimmy: even Lucas'd be a right laugh compared to me, is what I mean Jimmy: but there's no need to give him a 🏆 Janis: not about to give him anything 💔 Janis: school's never a laugh, weren't planning to go anyway Jimmy: he'll have to wait a bit for the 💌 you wrote with your other hand Janis: That's DISGUSTING Janis: how dare you Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: my hands have been busy nursing you, nothing else Jimmy: secret's safe with me, mate Janis: yeah, likewise Janis: as I'm out the house for a while, do you want anything? Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: 👌 Janis: Left the 💊s in there if you want more Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Did you get your keys last night? Jimmy: Spare'll be [whatever random location it is] Janis: as long as you can get back in Jimmy: be piss easy to break in if we had to, nowt to worry about Janis: you can't move that fast Jimmy: don't have to, that's what I'd be bringing you for Janis: really Janis: didn't sound keen 5 minutes ago Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about, Joanne Janis: 👍 at me dickhead Jimmy: [a picture of him doing it like there you go] Janis: 😒 Janis: SO pleased your terrible sense of humour hasn't been affected Jimmy: *😁 Jimmy: can't have you missing me, girl Janis: I'm getting bagels, no time to miss you Jimmy: sounds fake, that Janis: you DON'T believe I'm getting bagels? Janis: bit weird, that Jimmy: who the fuck eats bagels outside of the CG? Janis: excuse me Janis: why are you judging my breakfast choices Jimmy: no need to go there to call in sick for me, I can @ my own 👻 manager Janis: I'm obviously 👀 for Pete now you ain't in my way Jimmy: that'd be about right Jimmy: can believe that Janis: you should Janis: very true, very real Jimmy: very 💔 an' all OBVS Janis: I'm sure he'll still hit you up from time to time Jimmy: weren't worried about him Janis: me either, tbh Janis: 😎 and laidback that one Jimmy: there you go then Janis: I’m well concerned about your lack of appetite Janis: Who even are ya Jimmy: SO funny, you Jimmy: never heal if you keep on making me 😂 Janis: That’s why I’m being so 😠😔😒😑 Janis: No 🤡 behaviour Jimmy: 😭🤡🎻 only Jimmy: I get it Janis: You don’t do Italian do you? Jimmy: 🐩🥖🧄🥐🧅🍷🍾 Janis: Of course Janis: sad mime is perfect for you Jimmy: DUH Janis: was thinking Pierrot but you can make it work Janis: Don’t they ALL do French? Unlucky Jimmy: 😭🤡🎻 Janis: Je suis désolée Janis: Yes, I’m very talented, you can @ em Jimmy: [does because no shame and very easy to make that sound saucy and goals especially because they aren't going to school] Janis: 😏 alright I believe it’s you again Jimmy: but do you miss me yet? Janis: Do you want me to miss you? Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: Then in that case I can’t Jimmy: bit rude but alright Janis: s’rude ‘cos you expect me to only miss you a bit Janis: that I can’t do Jimmy: you asked what I want Jimmy: I don't want you to be 💔 Janis: I’m not Janis: I’m coming back once there’s no chance they’ll be coming back Janis: Unless you ain’t gonna be there Jimmy: Do you wanna stay here? Janis: I’m not 100% on their plans Janis: might be easier to be at yours? At least til Ian is home Jimmy: long as you can keep the 🐕 off me Janis: you know she’ll be all over me only Janis: her 😍 are real Jimmy: til I've got something she wants to eat Jimmy: might have to eat your hipster 🥯 here, dickhead Janis: 1. You’re rude and hangry 2. I still won’t let you get ravaged by anybody Jimmy: hang on, I'll send a tweet about not deserving you Jimmy: 🗑 the one I were about to send to Helena now I get why she's always fuming Janis: With big 🍈🍈s Janis: We can get you drugs Janis: Do you want to go drs today? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: Say you’re a 😎 boy and got in a brawl Janis: If they ask Jimmy: ✔ Janis: Don’t have to Janis: But you would get your own supply Janis: There’s other ways though, I can do it Jimmy: It's a 🥇💡 Jimmy: I just Janis: I get it Janis: I mean I think Janis: It’s a risk Jimmy: if we only get one go at it Jimmy: I might end up wishing I'd waited for worse Janis: It’s alright Janis: I can sort it Jimmy: What does that mean? Janis: I can get you some Janis: No need for Helena or doctor Jimmy: how? Janis: Why ask? Jimmy: 'cause I know you're not making that much 🐕🏃💰 for a start Janis: It’s not that pricey Janis: My dad was a drug dealer you reckon I don’t know any that’ll give me a discount? Jimmy: I don't reckon you should bother Janis: Look Janis: You remember my cousin, Astrid? Jimmy: yeah Janis: Her dad still is Janis: He’d sort me out so someone else didn’t Jimmy: and what if it gets back to someone in your massive family? Janis: He’s not that bothered Janis: Long as he gets enough cash Jimmy: alright, but Ian's paying, you're not Janis: got no problem with that Jimmy: You coming back first or what? Janis: Yes Janis: You’ve got the rest of the ones I took last night Janis: I need to see you Jimmy: Oi, that's what I were gonna say Janis: Say it then Jimmy: come here Jimmy: I miss you Janis: Okay Janis: [come back and you’ve clearly brought him some breakfast and made tea before you came up] Jimmy: [kiss her immediately because we're starting out extra] Janis: [when you’re trying really hard to be gentle and careful ‘cos it is an effort to NOT get caught up in the feelings of it all] Jimmy: [soz to add to the frustration you already feel at being injured and basically having to hide boy cos we all know you likewise wanna just go in and can't] Janis: [we’re so rude, when you finally pull away just looking him over and then looking in his eyes ‘cos best indicator of everything tbh ‘morning’] Jimmy: [never backing down from eye contact even if he probably should rn because we're struggling not just on the physical level but also with his big brother guilt but obvs we're saying it back as we fix her hair because you can't tell me he didn't mess it up just then considering how little else they can touch] Janis: [likewise fixing his as if that’s top priority rn but actually the excuse to touch his hair and face and anything we can is all we need ‘you got some sleep’ because you can’t tell me she didn’t stay up and watch him whilst the drugs low-key knocked him out] Jimmy: [a look like did you because you can't tell me that he isn't worried that she didn't when he's 100% that bitch] Janis: [‘you aren’t that fun to look at’ but a look like that’s not true obvs 😍] Jimmy: [😍 af back because we're essentially saying that she is without actually saying it] Janis: [lowkey shoving that mug at him like now drink ‘cos it’s a love language honey] Jimmy: [drinking it but obvs giving the 😍 still the entire time and I like to think that she put extra sugar in it like my boo does for me sometimes so he's tasted that and done a lil smile because we're in love] Janis: [for your strength boy, definitely, smiling back ‘cos likewise and cannot help it ‘what do you want to do today?’ Like the world is our oyster and we’ve not got all the limitations, sweeping his hair out of his face and throwing out ridiculous suggestions ‘London? New York? Tokyo?’] Jimmy: ['Amsterdam, obvs' because you literally get offered hard drugs when you're just walking about that's a true story and he is genuinely worried about her having to do this even though we know Drew is basically harmless at this point he doesn't] Janis: [‘druggie’ but we’re being playful not actually shady, dramatically rolling our eyes and tutting, that said about Drew if he’s not with his missus or another woman yet he might tell your mum but we can use that if we wanna] Jimmy: [yeah I think he will have just got out of prison if I have my timeline correct so it's likely he's not with her yet and that's worth noting, but Jimothy is just playfully nudging the bae with his good side] Janis: [probably thirsty for some Alison attention then tbf, but for now we’re rolling up last nights sleeping bag like we’re packing for Amsterdam] Jimmy: [eat your breakfast boy and give her a begrudging nod because the bagel is actually nice] Janis: [‘I didn’t get it from CG’ like that’s why it’s nice lol] Jimmy: ['wouldn't have you back yet if you had done' do he mean that it's always busy and he's not there working doing the most or do he mean because Pete might be working or both haha] Janis: [‘called that about him’ and we 😉] Jimmy: ['he'll be chuffed to bits that you get him'] Janis: [‘I’ll be chuffed when I do’ and putting the sleeping bag away and sitting back down with him] Jimmy: [putting his head on her shoulder like we're so forlorn and pouty about this] Janis: [‘should’ve never of introduced us’ like he did not lol, we tugging at his pouty lip with our fingers to switch it up] Jimmy: ['I never' when he can still get the words out before she's got his lip lol but then we're just giving her a LOOK because that's distracting excuse you gal] Janis: [a LOOK back that’s like yeah I regret it also because it was distracting and now we’re like] Jimmy: [running his thumb across her bottom lip because we always do that and also like well I've got this good hand here we can make use of] Janis: [ACTUALLY pouting because we can’t do anything to him ‘you’ll get out of breath’ brag but true] Jimmy: [😏 because we love the brag 'I'll live' like it already hurts anyway so what does he care is very much the attitude here now since we can't pretend we're fine this time because she knows] Janis: [‘yeah and I wanna kill you’ like that’s the problem ‘we could just-‘ and kissing him with our hands dramatically up like remember the rules] Jimmy: ['it's still gonna hurt' said as we kiss her really intensely anyway so she knows we think it's worth it] Janis: [making a noise in protest but it just sounds hot ‘cos we cannot protest enough for it to be meaningful rn with how much we wanna] Jimmy: [and we all know whenever she makes any kind of noise she gets one back so that really won't help the protest soz] Janis: [we are going in as much as remotely capable rn] Jimmy: [hard same so I hope you took those painkillers jimothy] Janis: [you’re young and hardy and in love so even though you are injured you’ll be okay I think] Jimmy: [the feels will get you through it] Janis: [you can’t help yourselves we can’t help that] Jimmy: [you've gotta do what you've gotta do lads and I respect that] Janis: [we’ll make you do an ice bath or something else to help you later it’s okay we’re looking after you as well as, just looking at him with so much love] Jimmy: [snuggling as best we can because 1. we don't want her to go back out 2. the love 3. we know she didn't get hardly any sleep and we want her to] Janis: [‘we should go to yours before we get comfortable’ but we’re not moving yet] Jimmy: [a noise like mhmmm yes we should but we're not moving either and we're just doodling on her with our fingertip like shh go to sleep] Janis: [kinda chasing his finger with ours around and then doing a little thumb war moment] Jimmy: [that's so cute and you're 1000% getting that look of love returned] Janis: [big yawn ‘you need a double bed’] Jimmy: [playing with her hair because she's adorable and we're redoubling our efforts to get her to fall asleep 'I'll @ Ian in a bit, he'll be chuffed to sort it for us' we all know he is on his best behaviour for at least a while after this kind of thing has happened so we're not even joking really] Janis: [‘braid it if you like’ amused because we know it’s a mess, moreso when we start furiously shaking our head like no no don’t mention him ‘we’ll steal this one’ which is an amusing mental image, mcvickers like excuse me lol] Jimmy: [he is braiding it even though she was taking the piss because he's got a sister and shit parents so he obviously can and will be making a rose out of paper or something for that throwback when he's done 'if you carry it' because remember when he had to carry that desk, there's no chance haha] Janis: [when that’s shaken you to your core because it’s so soft and intimate and you can’t, just nodding like yes I will do that] Jimmy: [just having that soft moment] Janis: [‘you’re...’ and just shaking our head ‘I wish I could explain you’ and poking him in the cheek like how dare you] Jimmy: [presenting her with this 🌹 you've crafted before you stick it in her hair like look how much of a Pinterest mum art hoe I am, I get why you're speechless because #goals '@ Bill he'll give you a hand, might do with the bed an' all' playfully push her down like poltergeist energy which is accidentally saucy af] Janis: [when it’s genuinely impressive but you’ve got to take the piss because it’s too much all ‘round ‘been going to see Asia’s ma, yeah?’ A look like such a hun babe but we’re literally shhed by this sauciness full 😳 because we can’t even fight back or anything to diffuse the tension] Jimmy: [poke her in her 😳 cheek because gotta take the piss too for the same reason] Janis: [‘dickhead’ and going to get up like right we must go now] Jimmy: [stopping her from going but in a soft way not like !!!!!! because he doesn't want to go home yet even though it makes more logical sense] Janis: [‘you can’t go out the window’ like if they come back we won’t be able to sneak you out ‘that said-‘ because we understand not wanting to go back even though Ian is not there ‘-if they come back, we could be quiet til they go again’ because they have no reason to go in the spare room] Jimmy: [an anxious lip bite that he can't stop himself from doing because they are hiding here and it's nice but when they go back it'll feel real again and he'll be watching the clock for when Bobby's back because that's a whole thing of not wanting him to know that he's hurt but knowing that there's shit he won't be able to do in terms of big brother duties even before you get into the Ian-ness of it all but she's not wrong that it makes sense for them to go for that reason and because Twix but DUH that's all too real and emosh to express when you can just instead take the piss about not being able to be quiet so we're obvs doing that instead] Janis: [immediately going to squeeze his hand when the lip bite and then retracting like oh too serious but we’re kinda stuck like well what do we do though] Jimmy: [the audacity of this boy then being like okay come on let's go as if he didn't just stop her in her tracks] Janis: [tryna roll with it regardless because it’s not our struggle so we’ll go either way] Jimmy: [hold hands as you strut on over the road lads, we all know he's gonna smoke even though he isn't supposed to, tut tut] Janis: [not asking for/taking one ourselves to show our disapproval] Jimmy: [a look like ? because in no world has he not noticed this] Janis: [a look like don’t be daft] Jimmy: [passing her the 🚬 like are you gonna take this or what] Janis: [‘you’re alright’] Jimmy: [looking at her again like why are you being weird but not saying anything] Janis: [looks at him like why are YOU smoking dickhead but likewise we’re not saying stop or anything] Jimmy: [thank god it's a short walk so shit can't get too tense] Janis: [not trying to start an argument about it] Jimmy: [get in the house please and see what carnage you're gonna be greeted with because Jimothy has not been there to tidy up and Twix will be feral] Janis: [oh twix gal, just waving him up the stairs like you go, I’ve got this] Jimmy: [trying to get her to come with you like leave it even though you know she won't] Janis: [obviously not, but we will come up to tell him we’re gonna take her for a quick walk] Jimmy: [lowkey fuming because he can't do anything like he doesn't even ever want to take Twix for a walk but it's not the point so he's just 😒 because it's obvs not her fault and we don't wanna be a dick] Janis: Won’t have time to miss me Jimmy: What else have you got planned for me to do? Janis: Well she’s going for a piss Janis: Have a race Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Hmm, could be a bit more enthusiastic Jimmy: might do when you have a more 🥇💡 Janis: I’ll get to 💭 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You ain’t going anywhere, boy Jimmy: it's you who reckons you won't be long out Janis: Okay admit you miss me already Jimmy: or what? Janis: what do you reckon Jimmy: I reckon that's a question instead of an answer Janis: Pot kettle Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Is this you having fun, like? Janis: Mission accomplished for me Jimmy: just you asking questions you already know the answer to, nowt else Janis: Already got you food Janis: What else do you reckon I can achieve in 5 minutes 🤔 Jimmy: loads obvs Jimmy: that kind of mate and fake boyfriend, me Janis: Delusional ✅ Jimmy: *dead supportive of owt you might wanna achieve, more like Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: *for your own benefit only Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: what makes you 😁☀ does me, Jules, you know that Janis: SO sincere Jimmy: Tah, I'll take my 🏆 whenever Janis: You can have whatever you like today Janis: The rules Jimmy: sounds fake, that Janis: Don’t act like I don’t give you EXACTLY what you want Jimmy: never said that Jimmy: but I don't want owt 'cause you feel sorry for me Janis: It’s not like that though is it Janis: That’s if it’s unwarranted Janis: Getting beat up IS shit undeniably Jimmy: I just don't want it to get like that, alright Jimmy: he fucks up enough bollocks for me Jimmy: without making this weird Janis: Okay Janis: Fair enough, I mean Janis: But I’ve already said I can’t just pretend you ain’t injured when you are, so that’s the bare minimum Jimmy: I heard, you're alright Jimmy: be enough of that going about Janis: And you know feeling bad that you have to put up with this shit doesn’t mean I think it’s your fault Jimmy: it were my fault Jimmy: he's a knobhead, I get that, but I give him loads of chances to be a massive one with what I do Janis: You’re not doing that for no reason though Janis: Not that it’s an excuse for overkill anyway Jimmy: when I've literally had a plan to make him fuming I don't get to be all 🎻💔😭 that he is Jimmy: or even 😒🌧 Janis: Your plan ain’t to get the shit kicked out of you Janis: It’s for the kids Janis: He’s the one fucking up Jimmy: I knew what would happen Jimmy: I'm not a kid Jimmy: and he's been like this since I were Janis: Just because you knew it’d happen, don’t mean that’s why you did it, that’s all I’m saying Janis: You’ve got a plan and you don’t have to feel like a dickhead about acknowledging how shit it is even if you knew it’d happen Janis: It’s a byproduct not the end result and he’s still a tosser for it, not you Jimmy: I feel like a dickhead 'cause this plan's for nowt Jimmy: you said it before, it's not working or gonna Jimmy: only way he's ever chucking his job in or doing owt else is if it suits him, it don't matter what I do Janis: You can always force someone’s hand Janis: You just need to rethink and keep thinking Jimmy: you can always let someone down an' all Janis: You’re never gonna be the one making them stay here, that’s on him Jimmy: I'm the only one who's about to make it better, that's on me Jimmy: and I've not Janis: It isn’t your fault that that’s impossible Jimmy: I don't want our kid 💭 owt's impossible, he's 6 Janis: It’s fucked up Jimmy: yeah Janis: and it is Janis: but he ain’t the only one Janis: there’s groups and shit that might actually help a kid his age Jimmy: well social him, he'd be 😁😁😁 about that Jimmy: I can't do everything and be everywhere Janis: alright Janis: never mind Jimmy: if you're volunteering to go sign for him, Libi'll chuffed an' all that you're practising Janis: Just leave it out yeah Jimmy: alright, calm down Janis: I am calm Jimmy: 👍 Janis: He can come now Janis: So I’m gonna be a while longer Jimmy: right Janis: Shouldn’t be ages Janis: He can’t be far Janis: #parolelife Jimmy: Dunno if it's meant to be comforting or what that you know a shite drug dealer Janis: Shit drug dealers still have good drugs so what’s it matter Jimmy: what's it matter that he's been caught before? Oh I dunno, mate Jimmy: must just be paranoid, me Janis: 🙄 Janis: No one gets done for personal use, you won’t get in trouble Janis: Anyway he just got out so he’s super paranoid himself Jimmy: don't 🙄 @ me for being bothered about you, dickhead Janis: But I’m fine, seriously Janis: It’s safer than stealing helenas even Jimmy: I'll leave it out then Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: You can Jimmy: I just said that, yeah Janis: I mean, worrying about me is not ever something you need to add to your to-do list Janis: I take care of myself Jimmy: never said owt else Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not making it weird remember Janis: you need the drugs, I can get them without having to do anything crazy Janis: I’ve known him all my life, my ma hers basically, it’s chill Jimmy: you heard me say I were leaving it out Janis: yeah Janis: I heard Jimmy: no need to try and convince me of owt then Janis: sure Janis: No need to chat til I’ve got your shit then Jimmy: if that's what you want Jimmy: in a bit Janis: I just need to focus Jimmy: alright Janis: there’s too much bullshit to explain Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: don't need your life story Janis: 👍 Jimmy: *👋 Janis: [however long that actually takes, come back and throw these at him ‘you only need one, and don’t take another til tonight if you can’t sleep’] Jimmy: [IRL 👍] Janis: [awkwardly hanging round for a bit before going downstairs to sort the dog out with food water etc] Jimmy: come here Janis: why Jimmy: why not? Janis: I’m a bit busy Janis: So if you’re not dying, like Jimmy: you'll be fuming if I come to you, know what you're like Janis: seriously Jimmy: just come here Janis: [show up like what] Jimmy: [a look like no come as close to me as physically possible thank you] Janis: [holding out for a hot sec but we’re begrudgingly coming over ‘what?’ bemused like] Jimmy: [a soft 'hey' as we playfully but softly tug on the braid we did earlier because we love and missed you gal and we wish you didn't have to just do that but it means a lot that you did] Janis: [trying to shrug him off because we know lowkey we're gonna get in a lot of trouble if Drew does tell for all the reasons] Jimmy: [will not be shrugged off and will instead cuddle you because we know something is wrong obvs] Janis: ['ugh, you're so needy' but we're 😏 like bants and not pushing him away because that'd be a step too far even if we are in a mood] Jimmy: [kissing her neck as if she's challenged us to be needier by saying that] Janis: ['oi...' like distracting, 'scuse me] Jimmy: [doing it again but softer] Janis: ['what are you- why are-' stopping 'cos both stupid questions] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ? but also 😍] Janis: ['aren't you mad at me?' genuine q 'cos think he is] Jimmy: ['what for?' another genuine question because we're clearly not] Janis: ['no need to go over a convo we already didn't wanna have'] Jimmy: ['I've got nowt to be fuming at you for, not that massive of a dickhead' because she's literally doing everything to help him] Janis: [nods like okay because we're truly not trying to beef if he's not 'you don't want my life story, I heard'] Jimmy: ['what I said were I don't need it, I told you ages ago, it's up to you what you wanna tell me' we still mean that, we're not trying to get the goss here like one of the gals] Janis: [laying down on this bed and sighing 'it'll be fine'] Jimmy: [lying on her in a very Twix manner like this will cheer you] Janis: [just reacting like can you please be careful omg but a lil smile 'you're a nerd'] Jimmy: [writes 'you' on her and draws the 🤓 'nowt's changed just 'cause you've one upped Helena this time'] Janis: [IRL 🤞] Jimmy: [signs 'I promise' because we all want it to be fine] Janis: ['don't care anyway, it'll just be a lot'] Jimmy: ['I don't need to worry about you, I heard' but we clearly are] Janis: ['worry's the wrong word'] Jimmy: ['is it?'] Janis: ['it'll be a timesuck' pausing like this is just being confusing and I cba 'he isn't just Astrid's dad'] Jimmy: ['Who else is he?' Oh boy you're not ready for what we've done with this family tree] Janis: [rolling our eyes then closing them like it's nothing but a chore/embarrassment and not a mess that hurts us all 'let's see, my half sister's dad, my dead sister's dad, dad's adopted brother...what else? Oh, he tried to fuck my oldest sister, that's about the latest incestual connection we tried to make happen'] Jimmy: [let's take a moment to appreciate the genuine shock, confusion and wtfness of his expression even if Janis can't see it because her eyes are closed] Janis: [lol soz to just unload that on you boy but we're in a preemptive mood about all those people coming at us potentially, literally sounds like it doesn't make sense 'he fucked my ma and her partner, they both had kids with him, the white ones, he lived with my dad growing up, who they also fucked but just my ma got knocked up by him'] Jimmy: ['is he gonna tell your mum?' cos lbr that's what is important here, not the messiness of Ali and Carly which you can think about on your own time if you want boy] Janis: ['might do' 'cos we really don't know 'obviously not in the good books since the whole trying to get off with an 18 year old thing, he might reckon it'll work, he's clearly pretty thick'] Jimmy: [a look like fuck's sake and you still thought it was a good idea to go meet and get drugs off him] Janis: [a look like duh] Jimmy: [just shaking his head because we're not trusting ourselves to say anything rn with how fuming we are/how much we already have to worry and feel guilty about] Janis: ['it's not like he's gonna bother again, not really his type anyway' and a little tap like come on] Jimmy: [the most unamused sound ever] Janis: [just like pfftt in response 'I know I was safe'] Jimmy: [a sigh in response 'and you know I don't want owt if it might fuck you over, that's been part of the plan since there were one'] Janis: ['I don't care, I can handle them so you can have some painkillers' shrugging like I was just saying, not saying I shouldn't have] Jimmy: [about to say that he cares because duh but doesn't because it's extra and she's being really casual] Janis: [sitting up dramatically like fuck this 'I am going to work though' like we just realized how much this all is and we gotta bounce] Jimmy: [going against not wanting to be extra immediately by stopping her from going in a more !! way than we did last time because we don't ever want her to go but especially not like this] Janis: ['don't' like we can't keep doing this 'you've got all you need'] Jimmy: [the actual 💔 on his face though because OUCH] Janis: [oh gal, when you immediately wanna take it back and you literally like go back towards him to say something but you don't 'cos you think that's not fair, so we're biting our lip and blurting out 'see you later' as we run] Jimmy: [oh lads, the drama] Janis: [ugh, idk how you're gonna come back from this hun, we're gonna have to give it some time for sure] Jimmy: [these dogs just going on the longest walk they ever have lol] Janis: [when you've burnt all your bridges everywhere if Drew blabs tehe, just gotta weigh up all your options here] Jimmy: [are we gonna say he does or no?] Janis: [I think it makes sense to do it to ramp it all up] Jimmy: [agreed and we know Drew would] Janis: [he's got form, and then you lowkey have an excuse to hit him up later/stay/so then Ian can't do shit again either] Jimmy: [it's coming together honey] Janis: [we could also do some sibling moment when this does come out if you wanna] Jimmy: [I'm always down for that] Janis: ['cos we can always do Grace but also Billie probably is not gonna be happy gal] Jimmy: [the Drew of it all will upset her for sure] Janis: [we're all triggered] Jimmy: [Tess gonna be livid thinking she's not realised someone else in this fam has a drug habit] Janis: [lol @ the habit it looks like you have, straight up pain pills] Jimmy: [you really have triggered your mother into thinking about Carly's accidental OD] Janis: [lordy the argument we're gonna have to have, hooray] Jimmy: [derailing ourselves here but I do love the drama that will blatantly ensue] Janis: [soz for the level you don't need this and we are fully aware of that fact which makes it worse but] Jimmy: [I just hope Rio don't try and weigh in on this in a big sister way cos gal no] Janis: [you know she will but luckily we can only reference this lol] Jimmy: [we could literally have Tess ban her from the house and Libi off the back of this if we want, like that's enough considering this fam's history] Janis: [it is, I can restart this convo with all this in mind like this evening, assumedly late like when everyone's gone to bed] Jimmy: [go for it boo] Janis: you still not want me to run away? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: just answer it Janis: it's time sensitive Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: 'course I don't want you to piss off again Janis: then I need a place to stay Janis: for a bit Jimmy: you know where the spare is Janis: thanks Jimmy: it's nowt Janis: not to me Jimmy: alright then Janis: I'll be quiet when I come in Janis: I just need the bed Jimmy: it don't matter, you can't wake him with a slamming door and I know my sister ain't 😴 Janis: It'll take me a while to get there Janis: no buses at this am Jimmy: you need picking up? Janis: nah Janis: I need the walk Janis: and you don't need to drive right now Jimmy: I'm not off my head on any 💊s if that's what's bothering you Janis: you're also in a sling Janis: even if it were me that did it not a dr Jimmy: and what, I'm the first dickhead to drive one handed? least I wouldn't be pissing about texting with the other one Janis: I wanna walk, don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Sorry about earlier Janis: and this too, whilst we're at it Jimmy: you can leave it out Jimmy: told you before apologies do my head in Janis: clearly my aim, like Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: right Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: or nowt, exactly Janis: nowt very impressive about that Jimmy: I dunno, something to be said for how fast you 🏃 out of here Janis: Well I weren''t helping Janis: was trying to undo some of the shit I'd blabbed and done already, believe it or not Jimmy: got no reason not to believe you Janis: don't reckon me couch surfing is remotely helpful/works in my favour there but whatever Jimmy: I get that you've got it in your head that I only do owt when it benefits me but Janis: not saying that Janis: I did but not in that context Jimmy: whatever you 🗨 girl Janis: don't 'cos I fucking didn't Jimmy: I'm not thick, I were there AND I understand context Janis: Don't act like you know what I meant better than I do Jimmy: not doing a scene Jimmy: your motivations are up to you Janis: yeah Janis: you don't need to tell me Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: never mind Jimmy: how much trouble you in? Janis: it's a matter of opinion, really Janis: everyone's got one an' all Jimmy: if you haven't already said it were me, you should do Jimmy: not a stretch with the accent and that Janis: that's assumed Janis: even if we're all assuming I'm a druggie now, they've at least been nice enough to reckon I'm not doing it alone Jimmy: that you'd come from a family of romantics were assumed an' all Janis: already told you about the multiple baby daddies and child bride nonsense Janis: no sherlock points for putting that together Jimmy: you're assuming I didn't before that but alright Janis: always saying you ain't a mind reader Jimmy: don't need to be Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: ha ha Jimmy: 💕🌹 Janis: we get it, I'm as romantic as you are funny Jimmy: Tah very much Janis: Well everyone's being dramatic as fuck anyway Janis: why I couldn't get out 'til now Jimmy: but you're alright? Janis: yeah Janis: I just can't be around mum, she can't be around me, either or Janis: not allowed 'round nans, officially, as they can happily kick me out without it being rude Janis: and my sister is trying to kidnap me as if she's not actively fucking up her own kids like mother of the year Jimmy: you can stay here long as you want, I promise not to let Ian or my sister chuck you out Jimmy: 🐕 might kidnap you though Janis: They won't know I'm here Janis: and not even my grandparents actually know where your house is Jimmy: Libi does Janis: 🤞 we're above interrogating a 4 year old Jimmy: I'll cross what I can Jimmy: long as you don't get mardy about it Janis: got my own problems now Jimmy: thank GOD Janis: I'm not in the mood Jimmy: I got that Janis: you could act like it then Jimmy: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah maybe Janis: might come tomorrow night instead Jimmy: do what you like Janis: that's the other option Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: it's pretty obvious Jimmy: shouldn't be hard to 🗨 then Janis: I didn't want to stay Janis: I asked you Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: if you didn't want to stay you wouldn't have asked me fuck all, you'd already have pissed off Jimmy: having said nowt, same as before Janis: no, actually Janis: because I give a shit about not making it worse for you Jimmy: what were it you said? act like it then Janis: fuck you you literally couldn't care less Jimmy: based on what? Jimmy: all the times I've literally said I do or all the times I've shown you it Janis: based on I try to have an actual conversation with you and you won't Janis: you don't wanna hear it Jimmy: you don't wanna 🗨 it, more like Jimmy: unless it's bollocks about how unbothered you are Janis: I've not been the one making shit jokes this whole time Jimmy: you're the one who pissed off earlier Jimmy: and chats about how you might show up Jimmy: like I haven't been worried about you this whole time Janis: You know why I left earlier because I told you that too Janis: and nothing about this conversation has made me want to stay any more, sorry about that Jimmy: if you gave the slightest shit I wouldn't have to beg you not to fucking leave me in the first place Janis: that's no more fair than me saying you don't care 'cos you're gonna leave Jimmy: What weren't fair is you being fake about what would happen when I said yeah to you getting the 💊 Janis: Because I could predict all of this Jimmy: you didn't have to act like it was nowt Jimmy: piss easy compared to nicking off Helena, you said Janis: and it was Janis: not my fault he reckons this will score him any points Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: if he had any sense he'd see how bad it makes him look, it was 50/50 and I lost Janis: so what, you needed them Jimmy: so what? Jimmy: 'course I don't wanna hear how fucked it all is now there's nowt I can do about it other than feel like a massive dickhead Jimmy: it's my fault, you should've told me Janis: doesn't matter what I told you I would've done it anyway Jimmy: yeah, I really wanna hear that an' all Janis: what, that I don't do exactly what you tell me to Janis: must sting, sure Jimmy: that you don't care what I 💭 Jimmy: it does Janis: it's not all about you Jimmy: it weren't you who needed them, dickhead Janis: I got 'em though Janis: even if it weren't meant to get back to my entire fucking fam, it's still nice to get one over on 'em regardless Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: forget I said owt then Jimmy: you're obvs #thriving Janis: don't remember asking for your judgment either so easily done Jimmy: make up your mind, you've either got problems and I'm the twat who won't let you 🗨 about them or you regret nowt and you'd do it all again given the chance Janis: They ain't mutually exclusive, believe it or not Janis: I don't need to regret it to still be fucked over by it Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: yeah, it's well convenient having to beg a bed off you Jimmy: about as much as me apparently having to force you not to go anywhere else Janis: apparently, fuck off Janis: what'd be the point in that, attention? Janis: I'm good for it Jimmy: how one sided to do you wanna make this sound? Jimmy: you literally said the only reason you're hanging about is so I'm not 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: fuck that Janis: I said I would so you didn't have to think up yet another lie about where I am and why Janis: 'scuse me for not giving you more to do Jimmy: yeah, that's what'd bother me about you being gone Janis: I know it wouldn't be ideal Jimmy: I don't give a shit about my to-do list, you twat Janis: don't call me a twat Janis: twat Jimmy: stop being one Janis: alright Janis: truce Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: bit rude that we can't start this whole day over Jimmy: probably would've gone loads better if we had nicked the 🛏 Janis: we'd both have room to sleep anyway Janis: and desire to, like Jimmy: the sofa's massive Jimmy: we could just sleep there Janis: weird flex Janis: but we could Jimmy: might be if I'd bought it Janis: save your money for rehab, junkie scum Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: as meet cutes go Jimmy: I'm gonna be SO chuffed to bits to see you there, my dear Janis: bit awkward when Helena waltzes in Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll sort it before there's a proper love triangle, we're alright Jimmy: sounds fake that she'd be capable of owt like 💃 any road Janis: DUH Janis: the back pain ain't real, babe Jimmy: bit awkward that she looks like that then Jimmy: 🐪💔 Janis: shut up, you're ALWAYS going on about her 🍈🍈 Jimmy: that's you bringing her MASSIVE tits up Jimmy: I've never even 👀 Janis: I know the 😎 ain't 'cos you're blind, mate Jimmy: but I am as 🥇 as one of their 🐕s, babe Jimmy: proper dedicated to you, me Janis: that's the right level of 🤮🤮 Jimmy: There you go Janis: well done you 👏 Janis: tweeting it ain't a great use of my phone's battery though so I'll leave it Jimmy: can take care of you for a bit now you're 🤮🤮 there's nowt else I want, duh Janis: natural order has been restored for you 🦶🪓 Jimmy: 😁 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: least it'll stop you going Jimmy: and I won't have to 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: I never said you were gonna 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: but I'll have a go now if it'll do owt to get you here Janis: I'll come Janis: I want to Jimmy: UGH FINE, I'll put my 📷 down Janis: 😁 instead Janis: seemed a bit fake, tbh Jimmy: [of course we are] Jimmy: 💔 the lighting ain't 🔥 Janis: I know, I look mental with the 🔦 right now Jimmy: could've looked 🥇 in the 🚗 but you said no Jimmy: nowt's more flattering than headlights, ask anyone Janis: sounds like something someone who wants to go dogging would say Janis: bit suspicious Jimmy: #datenight Janis: be good to get some other people's bodily fluids in the car before we roll Ian up in carpet Janis: 💡 Jimmy: Lucas' especially Janis: 😱 Janis: the betrayal Jimmy: daily DM off him since we ain't been in just isn't the same, can't help that Janis: was talking about him murdering his BFF Janis: but nice to know you've been up to your usual tricks Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: hang on, I'll delete that Janis: such a slag Janis: always known it about you, don't worry Janis: have to put up with it Jimmy: trapped you now 🛏⛓🦶🪓 Jimmy: should've been more 🔊 if you had complaints Janis: I'll live Janis: maybe Jimmy: you'll 💀💀💀 Janis: promise? Jimmy: I promise Janis: 😁 Jimmy: show me Janis: it'll be spooky Janis: 🔦 remember Janis: [but do] Jimmy: 🎃 Jimmy: you're still top rated, don't worry Janis: good to know Janis: all about the 🥇s Jimmy: 👻 kinks Jimmy: that lighting Janis: can do it when we get to yours but neighbours might reckon you're being raided or something Jimmy: 👮🚔 kinks an' all Jimmy: you're ✔ them all off Janis: you're very welcome Jimmy: you an' all 🚪🔑 Jimmy: but not just 'cause of how fit you are or how it's been ages since you were here Janis: you still wanna be my mate too then? Jimmy: never stopped wanting you Janis: good Janis: me either Jimmy: where the fuck are you? Jimmy: on a scale of middle of nowt to outside here Janis: maybe half way Janis: bit stupid to stop for an argument but there we go Jimmy: you gonna let me pick you up now or what? Janis: mmm Janis: go really slow Jimmy: what, so you can overtake me 🏃 past? Jimmy: #fortheflex Jimmy: I'll let you drive back 😇 Janis: you'd just really prove their point if you died Janis: be careful Jimmy: only 💀💀💀 at your hands, baby Jimmy: Bill ain't having it any other way Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll be the 🎃 Jimmy: your fake tan is too good for you to pull it off Jimmy: soz Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: @ Ella for how to get orange Janis: might be medical Janis: I'll see whilst you're driving Jimmy: eats nowt but 🍊🥕 Janis: bet she can see in the dark no prob Jimmy: don't even need a long lens to stalk 💀👑 Jimmy: go on, if you could only eat one thing what would it be? Janis: 🥧 is actually a good answer Janis: you could fill it with loads of different things to make it not boring and monotonous Jimmy: bit better than 🥔 Janis: you can have potato a few ways Janis: but no dessert option Jimmy: don't even need school, you Jimmy: 🥇🧠 Janis: I'll let them know Janis: hand in my resignation Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: and I'll 🤐 now Janis: let you concentrate Jimmy: but Janis: but nothing Janis: you're already one-handed Jimmy: [the poutiest selfie ever from behind the wheel like okay I'm in and gonna drive but 💔] Janis: 🥺 Janis: see you soon, baby Jimmy: [drive and get her boy and don't die please] Janis: [you can do it boy, the levels of pleased to see you cannot be overstated but reign that hug in a little bit so we don't injure him further] Jimmy: [it's okay we know he's as pleased to see you gal and will cling to you if it kills him and we've got those 💊s waiting for us whenever they are needed] Janis: [trying not to say sorry over and over but you gotta say it at least a few times even though you know he does not care for it] Jimmy: [will shh you by kissing you even though I usually hate to do that trope because how rude] Janis: [sometimes it's warranted] Jimmy: [in this case I'll allow it because you're not literally having an argument which is when I hate how it's done the most and also he would do it rn so I have to be true to Jimothy] Janis: [we know we're all allowing it because it's what we both want anyway] Jimmy: [the feels are never gonna be higher than any time she might run away so] Janis: [instead we're gonna hide at yours and pray that Libi doesn't blab lol, we're trying honey, 'cos this is a lot worse than the shit nan situ tbh] Jimmy: [it is and I'm honestly proud of her for not just panicking and going because that's #growth and he can't go on a full roadtrip to rescue you driving one handed rn] Janis: [this is us trying babayyy] Jimmy: [jimothy will be very appreciative like honestly if we don't hook up in this car rn it'd be a miracle as will me stopping him from dropping the L word at all times] Janis: [we do have to switch seats so she can drive, any excuse and it's really not needed when we're so emosh] Jimmy: [again, we're allowing it because you both blatantly want it to happen] Janis: [when do we not tbh but yes, you deserve all the moments] Jimmy: [I'm cackling as I always am because where are they even] Janis: [lord knows lmao, hopefully far away enough from hers that no one is clocking you and not far enough into town that anyone else really is] Jimmy: [I just picture some random little housing estate like] Janis: [we'll be nice and say it's not getting up for work/school time yet huns, last thing you need is getting arrested for indecent exposure in a car that ain't yours lmao] Jimmy: [likewise last thing you need when you get back to his is to meet Ian getting ready for work that's a hard no] Janis: [yikes lmao, casually try to brawl you, not now, at least Bobby will be pleased to see you] Jimmy: [even though he'll wanna talk about Libi when he knows Janis is here which is a touchy subject] Janis: [just gonna have to blag our way through that for a while, soz boy, I think she'd be at school though like 99% so you can hang out at lunch and breaks] Jimmy: [jj keeping everything from Bobby like it's their job cos he's already pretending to be much less injured than he actually is as per] Janis: [mhmm, nothing to see here babe] Jimmy: [anyway, drive back gal so he can stare at you with 😍 the entire time] Janis: [literally just 😍😊 so much but try to focus even though this road'll be dead tah] Jimmy: [will shamelessly hold your hand like look how easy it is to drive one handed and that's obvs the only reason] Janis: [obviously, not like you constantly need to touch each other for reassurance] Jimmy: [of course not] Janis: [get in lads, Twix don't bark honey we're pleased to see everyone too] Jimmy: [she probably will but we don't care if she wakes up Ian as long as he doesn't appear] Janis: [we know you're on best behaviour rn sir but we don't wanna see you now because we're all about each other] Jimmy: [don't wanna see you ever lowkey but yeah rn we're busy gesturing to the living room and up the stairs like where do you wanna sleep/get comfy and be] Janis: [genuinely pondering this 'do you need to be on a bed?' and going into the living room and testing how squishy the sofa is casually] Jimmy: [just following her around amused which is making me smile cos I imagine Twix is following her too] Janis: [that's cute and we definitely think so, 'we'll try the sofa tonight but if it's no good then we'll make your bedroom work, yeah?' 'cos we wanna snuggle so we must] Jimmy: [IRL 🤞 because we promise and also we hope it'll work because sick of that bed when you know he was sulking in there for ages after she left, but don't worry gal you'll know if he's not comfortable as he literally can't fake anything around you] Janis: ['can make a den if you like' throwback 😏 but actually being useful and getting the blankets etc] Jimmy: [obvs pretending like we are going to for a sec but actually sit down boy because you're probably hurting quite a lot by now and Twix shall calmly chill with you because she been knew] Janis: [sneak upstairs for that duvet gal] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that he's left her a doodle for today up there that he quickly did before he got in the car to get her because he's a nerd in love] Janis: [we fully would not be expecting one today so we're buzzing and bringing it down like 😁 'always showing off, Mr Ambidextrous'] Jimmy: ['can't have you thinking I forgot' because literally first chance he would've had to do one because we've had a busy day of both highs and lows soz lads] Janis: ['I'd forgive you' and a feelsy lean like obvs and also this has been a DAY 'but I like it'] Jimmy: [just casually undoing this braid and combing through her hair with our fingers so softly because it has been a DAY you're not wrong boo and all we want is for the bae to actually get some sleep tonight because we know she didn't before] Janis: [happy sigh and leaning into him as much as makes sense right now 'I'm not going to leave again' which sounds like never but lol 'I missed you'] Jimmy: [literally don't need to still be playing with her hair but of course he is and of course he nearly said that he wasn't gonna leave either because of how much he doesn't want to 'only if you chuck us in your bag' a nod to Twix who is blatantly snuggling with them and probably already snoozing 'no need to miss each other then'] Janis: [probably snoring too so we're like 'who wouldn't miss this?' like it's all bants but obvs not] Jimmy: [pretending like we're gonna chuck something at or nudge awake this poor pup but we obvs don't 'I don't wanna do this without you' so quietly it's like did you even say that sir and not elaborating because we mean literally anything] Janis: [lowkey smacking you with a pillow like how dare you but obviously we're being so soft in everything we're doing rn, so when we're cupping his face like that really hurt and then he says that we can be sincere 'you don't have to' 'we're a team, right?'] Jimmy: [a nod because I don't trust you rn thank you Jimothy and then we're cupping her face and kissing her really softly but intensely] Janis: [y'all do need to shh so go in for this kiss because it'll be everything] Jimmy: [enjoy all the softness and intense feels] Janis: [I hope the necessity of not wanting to be any more extra than we have been already keeps y'all quiet but who knows lol] Jimmy: [oh lads I do love you] Janis: [least you will exhaust yourselves into some sleep pretty quick] Jimmy: [you both very much need some so please do] Janis: [have some before the kids get up lol, never ending truly] Jimmy: [Gonna have to get Bobby ready for school and take him because Cass did yesterday and so your big brother guilt meter has gone up] Janis: [best bet for you is to walk the dog and then go to his room so you aren't in the way gal] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 😁 Janis: how's the kid Jimmy: he's trying to take your 🥺🏆 Jimmy: but I ain't letting him stay here Janis: you've got 2 working feet to put down, babe Jimmy: but if it comes to dragging him kicking and signing I'm gonna need a hand off you Janis: is he too old to promise/bribe with a treat after school if he behaves Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Jimmy: I'd be chuffed with that still Janis: we'll talk about it when you're ready to go back then Janis: what's he really like for tea? you could do that tonight Jimmy: 🥧 DUH Jimmy: #cantakealadoutthenorthbut Janis: are you serious Jimmy: What do you 💭? Janis: taking copying you TOO far Jimmy: it's 🍕 mate Jimmy: he loves chucking the toppings about 🧀🍅🎨 Janis: technically a pie Janis: but much better and more normal for a 6 year old who doesn't work down a mine Janis: we can do that easy then Jimmy: steady on, bit early for 🤯 Jimmy: you and your bloody 🥇🧠 Janis: yeah, I could do with a few more hours too Jimmy: soon as they've gone and the 🐕's knackered an' all Janis: you had her beat for 😴 in the end Jimmy: 💊💔 Janis: a deadly combo or? Jimmy: @ Helena for the full list of ✔❌ but that's one Jimmy: 😴😴😴 Janis: wonder if she has a valentine Jimmy: other than me, you mean? Janis: 😡 Janis: oi Jimmy: you're alright, I'm just gonna post her a card Jimmy: no 🎁 Janis: who else are you gonna send a 💌 Jimmy: Depends Janis: ? Jimmy: do you mean for 💔 or 💕? Janis: we'll have to go back to school to see how many couples are left to 💔 Jimmy: When? Janis: when do you want to? Janis: considering we'll have to, eventually Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: of course Jimmy: Ian'll have a massive strop if I leave it ages though Janis: what about we take a week off? Janis: should be doable Jimmy: from now or including the days we've already been pissing about? Janis: you choose Janis: you're the actually injured one Jimmy: and my 👻 manager's actually FUMING Jimmy: gonna have to go back there first Janis: yeah Janis: 💸 calls Janis: that's gonna be hard though Jimmy: should've taught you more ☕🎨 Janis: yeah Janis: I can try and help but they won't let me make the shit Janis: maybe I can chuck it at the people eating in though Jimmy: You're so Janis: you can come with me when I walk the dogs Janis: at least when we're not at school, we can make it all fit Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I'll practice faking my customer service 😁 on them Jimmy: before I have to crack on in front of 💀👑 and her 👀🔪🔪 Janis: and if you get bit, we can have another week off Jimmy: I get it, that's your real plan Jimmy: tah, dickhead Janis: 'course I want to hide forever but Janis: 🤏 unrealistic and a lot more rude to sacrifice you to the cause Jimmy: just not the face Jimmy: never earn any tips else Janis: I won't let you get hurt Janis: are all of your coworkers dickheads? Janis: you could genuinely @ the decent ones for an IOU on helping you out for a bit Jimmy: you just wanna slide into Pete's DMs Jimmy: he's already been covering Janis: well it would be my pleasure, obvs Janis: but I'm just tryna help tah Jimmy: I'll @ him Jimmy: don't you worry your pretty but massive head Janis: 🙄 Janis: FINE Jimmy: I'll tell him you'll 🎤 for his band, yeah? Jimmy: since you wanna help Janis: help you, dickhead Janis: don't you wanna be special? Jimmy: the favours were your 🥇💡 Jimmy: I ain't special enough to reckon I'll get away with just 💰🍻 Janis: awh babe Janis: don't do yourself down Jimmy: you've never done a proper shift at the CG Jimmy: dunno what a pisstake it is Janis: okay so you need to do him an actual favour Janis: 💭 Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: when would I have time to moonlight as his singer Jimmy: how many 🐕🏃 are you doing by 🔦🌙⭐️ Julie? Janis: I can't sing, soz Janis: you're delusional Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I've heard you Janis: you've got the 👂 equivalent of 😍s Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're too 🙀🙀🙀 more like Janis: shut up Jimmy: I still like you Jimmy: and reckon you're 🎤🤩🏆 Janis: yeah there's only so far I'm willing to go to help you, like Janis: draw the line at looking that much of a twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you'll survive Jimmy: have to Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: I won't ask you to join any shit band for me either Jimmy: difference is 1. I would do 2. they wouldn't have me Jimmy: but alright Janis: I wouldn't whore you out for favours is the the difference,boy Jimmy: but you COULD, girl Janis: 🙄 Janis: you'd be mad if I actually fucked him though Jimmy: I never said take the favour that far Janis: 👌 Janis: good thing I said no then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: when are you back Jimmy: when do you want me back? Jimmy: were gonna leave you to your 💭💕 for a bit Janis: come back Janis: but do you want ☕🍽 first or straight to 🛏 Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: Just tell me which room you wanna find me in Jimmy: 🛏⛓ or nowt, you know that Janis: okay Janis: ⏲ Jimmy: you want me to 🏃? Janis: You doubting my ability to be patient? Jimmy: or your nursing kink being #ultimate far as the list of ones I've 🔓 goes Janis: but I want you to come and look after me, not the other way 'round Jimmy: and I want you to 💀💀💀 me, nowt else Jimmy: ❌🏃 Janis: I can wait Jimmy: I'll make it worth it Janis: You do Jimmy: won't even ask for a lullaby in a bit as you're so mardy about it Janis: if you can't get me to make the right sounds, that's on you Jimmy: and if you can't wear me out, that's on you Janis: I know I can Janis: and I've got faith in you, for the record Jimmy: I know what I'm doing an' all Jimmy: no need to put your faith anywhere else Janis: I won't Janis: not that fussed about God, like Janis: don't tell Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: he'll never have a clue after you did such a good job on the outfit Janis: more for you than him as well Jimmy: I'll keep that between us an' all Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: Dunno about faking I'm not 💔 when you're best mates with him in heaven and I'm left with his fit ex boyfriend or whoever the fuck the devil is meant to be but Janis: you're not going to hell Janis: and I ain't going to heaven Jimmy: Chuffed to hear it, LDR from here to the north is one thing Janis: Catholics are big on purgatory Janis: we're all gonna be stuck there for ages, apparently Janis: I'll find you Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: how hard can it be? Jimmy: you're asking the wrong lad Jimmy: might get a 🤏 lost, me Jimmy: have to draw a picture and ask every dickhead if they've seen you Janis: Or I'll 👀 for the lost boy Janis: sounds like something Bill'd approve of, so it'll work Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: we've got a plan Jimmy: be alright Janis: just about Jimmy: [come back boy and find her IRL] Janis: [have your moment honeys now the house is free] Jimmy: [oh the freedom to actually be alone and not have to worry about anyone else for a bit] Janis: [y'all should have a shower 'cos it's a mood and you probably need the help Jimothy lowkey] Jimmy: [the bruises will be !!! by now so we'll all be shook] Janis: [at least it means you healing but gonna kiss every one of those] Jimmy: [what a mood, I hope you do get a bit more sleep as well kiddos because we know that's always needed] Janis: [you truly can sleep all day, set an alarm lads] Jimmy: [only got dogs to walk and pizza ingredients to sort out] Janis: [awh a lil grocey trip, that's a mood, get all your stuffs] Jimmy: [omg yes because that's a nice throwback to when you got snowed in and you made the bubs breakfast and had to go get ingredients, love how coupley and domestic y'all are effortlessly, the gals will be losing it all the updates] Janis: [it's so foreign to how you generally are as people and that's what makes it amazing] Jimmy: [we love it for you] Janis: [we should get Cass a takeaway style one you know when you can buy 'em hot from sainsbos or whatever, in case she thinks this is lame so we don't lose points lol] Jimmy: [that's a good save boo because even if she wanted to decorate pizzas you know she won't because moody tween] Janis: [mhmm, I know your age hen and you're angry enough without us forcing frivolity on you] Jimmy: [it's annoying enough that JJ are living their best life in your gaff, we get it] Janis: [it's been a while since you moved, you can meet your friends soon and feel a bit better] Jimmy: [getting that vday card soon hun, hang in there] Janis: [meanwhile we're truly having the best time even though we gotta do a lot of resting like it can't even bring us down] Jimmy: [he should definitely steal something for her because it's been ages since that happened] Janis: [ooh, what could you steal] Jimmy: [probably needs to be something little because we're not trying to set off alarms here hmmm] Jimmy: [Winnie says it should be a keyring so when they get back he can put one of the spare keys on it for her, though I dread to think what the actual keyring will look like cos supermarkets only cater for kids and huns] Janis: [Good idea Winnie, the funnier the better with the aesthetic clearly] Jimmy: [it'll make you laugh and then be feelsy when he puts the 🔑 on so we've covered some bases there, I'm devastated that Jimothy is hurt so he can't try and squeeze himself into the child trolley seat because you know he would, another time sir] Janis: [very good idea, my boo says devastated honey, also can't race around on the back of trolleys but there's literally all the time, you should lowkey have a competition to see who can find the most embarrassing item for the other to have to take to the till] Jimmy: [there will be other supermarket shops, hang in there lads, you've still got #bants] Janis: [I'd say get weird pizza toppings for each other but also want you to have a decent dinner so don't actually buy 'em thank you] Jimmy: [we love taking the piss but we won't actually commit to making you eat it, likewise try and find the creepiest toys as a nice throwback to China's birthday party present list and the best hun outfits and accessories] Janis: [supermarket clothes pop off sometimes that will be amusing] Jimmy: [and any excuse to go into a changing room tbh, we know what you two are like] Janis: [shameless, like you've not been doing it any time you woke up in the day lol] Jimmy: [I don't think this is the exercise that nhs direct meant for fucked ribs Jimothy but live your best lives] Jimmy: [also if this supermarket has any make up testers on that aisle please piss about with those like you're the gals thank you] Janis: [lmao probably the opposite but you know, only a teenager once, one of the actual gals should come in 'cos we're clearly doing this for when the kids get home, so whoever it is can report back] Jimmy: [love that and I hope you did see us taking the piss, also he's gonna pick out the ugliest hair accessories like we're just gonna braid those in rn in the middle of said aisle, all the mums trying to shop will be fuming at y'all] Janis: [so mad they're not at school like who can force them, will see Jimmy is injured though which don't think anyone else knows yet so you can get your gums flapping about that] Jimmy: [seems like somewhere Hollie might be and it's never you so why not, like maybe Asia and her mum saw him on the school run this morning but he was downplaying it majorly then for Bobby and also obvs trying to avoid you so as likely you didn't] Janis: [I vibe it, you're probably not even being that bitchy just like oh Jimmy's got a sling on btw] Jimmy: [yeah she'd probably just like ?? wonder what he did @ Grace like do you know and then Mia and Ella will be !!!] Janis: [like it IS something scandalous but the odds of it being are so low like come on gals get a grip] Jimmy: [we get it you've got nothing going on in your own lives but for god's sake] Janis: [Grace could put it together about the need for pain pills though FYI] Jimmy: [totally, she isn't as thick as she's pretending to be so we could do the Janis and Billie convo like when it all kicks off but leave the one with her until more like now potentially] Janis: [that makes sense to me too, obvs she'll still be like why can your bf not go to the drs like a normal person but you know] Jimmy: [yeah, that is still very weird and god knows what Grace will be thinking happened but at least she won't be thinking Janis is a junkie so we'll take it] Janis: [fun times babayyyy] Jimmy: [can you think of any more supermarket shenanigans or have we milked this as hard as we can?] Janis: [we probably have, get home for these kiddos, can take Twix for her other walk] Jimmy: [she'll be buzzing] Janis: [can take Bobby to the park that's always a treat after school] Jimmy: [and when he's around you won't be smoking so the bae won't be fuming at you] Janis: [and we can subtly run around after Bobby so you don't have to go as hard] Jimmy: [the teamwork makes me happy] Janis: [hard same] Jimmy: Don't chuck the swing over, know what you're like Jimmy: 👀 Janis: excuse you Janis: that was chav boy #2 get it right Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: convenient scapegoat, him Jimmy: when we get back to school, be piss easy to blame that dickhead for loads of shite Janis: dunno what year he's in Janis: or if he goes to our school Janis: still Jimmy: can't believe you didn't do a Q&A with him Jimmy: who are you? Janis: bit busy Janis: you've called me a pisshead way more Jimmy: should've called you a lightweight an' all Janis: if you wanna lie Jimmy: you can't 🤹 owt unless you're sober, what'd you call it? Janis: tbh I weren't that interested in them Janis: was you who had the questions, apparently Jimmy: I got that from how chuffed you were to piss off with me but tah for 🗨 Janis: obvs Janis: in it for the free shit not 😍 Jimmy: 💔 for them Janis: ikr Janis: Mia'll probably fuck 'em Janis: or make one of the others Jimmy: speaking of her Jimmy: we going to school tomorrow or what? Jimmy: been 👀 now Janis: really fucked up sending their biggest spy Janis: we don't have to Janis: but might wanna get your story out there before they can make one up Jimmy: longer we don't, more of a #scandal it'll be Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: I'll @ Lucas now to chuck me in isolation before they can get the 🍿 out Janis: loads of girls DYING to take your notes for you Janis: it'll be alright Jimmy: not the 🖋 bit I'm bothered about Janis: you know they're crap liars and storytellers Janis: no 🏆👏 Jimmy: yeah Janis: what do you want to do? Janis: fuck them Jimmy: I don't know Janis: you don't need to work it out now Janis: you can sleep on it Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I wanna stay with you Janis: whatever you're gonna do Jimmy: [coming to hug you IRL because that's adorable and we love you] Janis: [OTT being like EWW get off me @Bobby for his sake but secretly giving him a loving squish] Jimmy: [kissing you on your head gal like we did when you were drunk at the other park and you can't stop us] Janis: ['nerd' but full of love] Jimmy: ['you' likewise] Janis: [Bobby probably wants to go get Libi though so we're gonna have to be like no no] Jimmy: [casually ruin the mood there bab] Janis: [whisk you away to make pizza 'cos not got time to explain that ban] Jimmy: [we'll all have fun messing about doing that at least] Janis: [even if we're now distracted by these thoughts, we trying] Jimmy: [he'll be knowing and trying to distract you by being a cute nerd, don't worry girl] Janis: [where should we skip to next?] Jimmy: [we could do them in school tomorrow because he's blatantly gonna go even though he should have more time off] Janis: [yeah I'm down for that, you would've actually brought your uniform gal so you can lol] Jimmy: [easy way to also sow the Harry seeds too] Janis: [you've probably missed a practice or two so we can totally get back on that train honey, maybe we should do that in another convo so we can do the Billie and Grace though, 'cos there might be things said that are relevant going forward at least somewhat?} Jimmy: [true yeah we do need to those first realistically]

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blackcatanna · 5 years

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LET THE ORGY OF SADNESS CONTINUE: Okita's Route Part 3: Edo Blossoms

I'm very interested to see how this plays out. Tbh, I don't really get this relationship yet but that seems consistent with how I felt before Edo Blossoms in the other routes so, yes, I am excited! :D I hope that Kaoru doesn't die X_X I want at least one route with Kaoru redemption but I am not at all optimistic...

Chapter 1:

"Something else entirely had me preoccupied..." Could it be... one spicy, stabby boi?

Wait, are we... LIVING TOGETHER? 👀

Quick question: do silver bullets affect demons or just furies?

BWWWWAAAARRRP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM! "I held his soft, trembling fingers in my hands," Whoa there. Please calm down. I cannot allow this level of unbridled eroticism in my Good Christian Suburb.

In all seriousness, though, I GUESS this is SOMEWHAT sweet and romantic but I want everyone to know that I'm saying this under duress. >:( If I fancied him, this would wring the fuck out of my heart.

"Are you sure? You aren't just saying that?" Glad to see that Doctor Chizuru studied under Doctor Gregory "Everybody Lies" House.

"Why is it that you're always here when I wake up?" If you can't figure it out, I sure as hell am not going to tell you!

"Okita seemed to take pleasure from my surprise, and he stared into my eyes." X_X Of course he did... Because he loves to provoke reactions.

"Answer me." MAKE ME >_<

"looking off to the side in a fit of feigned indifference." < Okita in a nutshell

Is he upset because I said that I was here because of worry and guilt? Because, tbh, fair enough. Those were pretty dumb things to say, making out like it's a burden instead of admitting that I actually like being around him >:(

"Well, I guess that's fine then." X_X Oh, come on! Don't use the f-word on me like that! D:

"She's lying." YAMAZAKI!!! >_<

"Look, I know you can't stop thinking about me, but this whole doting-all-day-and-night thing is tiring." Called. The fuck. Out. X_X

Tbf, it seems kind of hypocritical to be fussing over someone while refusing to let them even inquire about your own health. Plus, it's a very one sided arrangement, which is not healthy X_X

"stop throwing a bitch fit" XD Okita is my new hero :')

"I didn't know that my behaviour became a cause for concern for them, too." Then, perhaps, you are foolish and inconsiderate -_-

O: Okita!?? Did he faint?! O_O

Woo! Going on an adventure with YAM! :)

There had better not be any creepy bald fuckers waiting in mah house! >:(

Are all doctors bald in 1860s Japan????

I'm so happy that Yamazaki's still alive in this route :) TOUCH WOOD.

"*Grunt* *Cough*..." Ah, I knew it was only a matter of time before I caught tb -_- (jk)

No, never split the party! D:

"However the price to pay is life itself." DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUUN!!! So much for it granting "immortality"

"the poisonous Water of Life" uh... Isn't that kind of an oxymoron X_X

"Retaining your sanity is impossible without feasting on blood." Ah, so all along, the Shinsengumi were just feeding the furies a poor diet.

O: ):< WHO DARES THUMP MY YAMAZAKI?

Of course. It's fucking Kaoru -_-

Blah blah, sadistic fuckery, blah blah. I'm starting to get real tired of your shit, BROTHER.

"Was he trying to play a trick on me?" -_- probably, yeah.

Wow, that's... Actually pretty helpful? Thanks!?

Okay, the doctor folk have gone! I give Okita delicious blood now? :)

Oh. HE GAWN!!! O:

WHY ARE YOU UP AND DRESSED? >_<

"Sleeping all day is such a drag." True, so DRINK MY BLOOD AND GET BETTER >:(

Bloodlust time :O Good thing I'm a walking blood pack! :D

"How long have you been doing this?" Uh, haven't you been watching over him night and day?

"I wrapped my arms around Okita and held him tight " BWAAAA- Okay, yes, physical contact. Hug = gud >:(

"Pease, drink this " DRINK THE BLOOD >:(

"I could feel his breath brushing across my skin..." o_o Saucy...

Why are the blood drinking descriptions so erotic XD I mean, I'm not complaining but-

Who is this strange, apologetic man?

Blood > Porridge

Heh heh, apparently, Hijikata acts "all hoighty-toighty"

Oooh! Looks like Okita's trying to break free of his diligent YAM nursing...

"I am calm" Okita, last time you said that, you went on a killing spree...

Ooh, I wonder why Yamazaki and Okita don't get along... I remember seeing a picture somewhere with casual Yamazaki abuse in the background...

"Okita was acting like a petulant child, throwing his toys out of the pram..." X_X Sexy...

"Do you think the Shinsengumi still needs me?" HONEY, the Shinsengumi needs all the help it can GET!! O_O

Omg, Yamazaki's threatening to tell on Okita! XD He's playing a dangerous (and childish) game!

Side note: the painting in Okita's room is distracting me because it kind of reminds me of the dead mice my cats bring in on a regular basis.

WAIT, IT'S A FISH!!! X_X A NICE, INNOCENT LITTLE KOI FISHY X_X I need to stop spending so much time with my cats...

"What, already? Can't I stay up just a little longer?" Hakuoki: Mum simulator!

"I'll turn in on one condition..." Oo-er :O

"Okita grinned mischievously, and he peered directly into my eyes." O_O OO-ER!

"My palms became sweaty, and my heart skipped a beat." IT MUST BE LOVE O_O

"Since you're here, mind laying down next to me?" DUN DADA DUN! *fanfare plays* We got there in the end, folks! :D

DON'T YOU DARE SAY NO XD

"That's not a funny joke." True. And the only way to teach him a lesson is to PRETEND to take him seriously by DOING AS HE SAYS >:)

"You're so dense." FACTS.

WELL DONE, CHIZURU, YOU DONE COCK-BLOCKED YERSELF, I said, berating the fictional character as if that's not totally something that I would do in real life ..

"Okita blushed, turning away in embarrassment." O: CTRL+Z CTRL+Z CTRL+Z ):<

"I want to, erm, talk to you for a little bit longer..." Oh, we can "talk" all night long ;)

"Talk...? With me?" But I'm only a stupid woman, huh dur, with naught to say but um and er! Actually, Chizuru does say ""um..." I couldn't think of anything to say" in this route A LOT so maybe FAIR PLAY.

Just realised that I accidentally made a rhyme.

"Okita sighed, frustrated" HONESTLY, ME TOO.

"How clearly do I have to spell this out for you." I'm beginning to wonder that myself. He just wants some company, Chizuru! Is that SO HARD to imagine? X_X

"He began to run his fingers through my hair." Oooh! Physical contact :3 Chizuru = pet cat!

"as the tip of his finger touched my skin, my heart skipped." Yeeeesssss... Feel the thirst flow through you... 3:)

Are we gonna get a thirsty Western uniform pan, now? :P

"I tried facing him directly, but for some reason my heart was thudding in my chest..." :O Oh my! I cannot think of a possible explanation! You should get that checked out! >:P

"you find me sexy right now, don't you?" AH-HAH! >:D Caught red handed!

Ugh, can't believe he tricked me into saying he looks good. >:(

UGH. Doctor Matsumoto still needs to perform a final exam on Okita?! Just let him go already X_X

Wow, has Okita been seething against Hijikata this whole time? That... Can't be healthy -_-

"Okita had the tendency to act rashly and avoid looking at the bigger picture, particularly when Hijikata was involved." No shit. He's going to be such a handful X_X

"You're coming, right?" Of course. I'm not just going to sit around here while everyone I care about gets killed O_O besides, you need my nutritious and delicious blood to keep you nice and healthy ^_^

"she can't keep her eyes off me for long enough, to the point where she'll follow me wherever I go" Yeah, because that's how you win at this game >:P

"Aw, is that some blushing I see? It's the truth." Yup.

"Well, yeah," SHE ADMITTED IT!!! 8D

"So, Yukimura. It appears you have some feelings for Okita, is this true?" OH, FRICKING GREAT!!! NOW I'M BEING INTERROGATED BY MY DAD'S EX- COLLEAGUE ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE X_X IF THE GROUND COULD SWALLOW ME NOW, THAT'D BE GREAT! OKITA IS SUCH A DICK XD

OKITA. STOP.

Doctor, why you gotta be so serious? O:

"Criminy..." Uh... Is that a real word?...

Omg, it is a real word! I have never heard anyone use it but, tbf, this is the 1860s :P

Okita needs to stop saying that every decision that Kondou makes that he doesn't like is because Hijikata "coerced" him. He's a grown man. He can think for himself. Please respect his autonomy X_X This is not healthy.

Uuuuuugh. Kaoru >_< Seriously, get a life!

"I'm here to watch the Shinsengumi flail around like pathetic losers as they watch their friends die." ... KAORU, THAT DOES NOT COUNT AS A HOBBY >_<

"Looks like you made it in time for the show, though. You'll be able to witness the glorious execution of the Shinsengumi's idiot chief." Or, in other words, we arrived in time to try and rescue him >:)

"You look nice. All your little boo-boos patched up?" Uhh... There's a lot to unpack here...

"Okita reveled in the vicious display, allowing Kaoru's blood to shower him as he swung repeatedly at the Demon." O_O Umm... Okita? Maybe CHILL THE FUCK OUT. O_O HE IS MY BROTHER, YOU KNOW?!

Aaaand, seemingly Kaoru's going to milk that fact... -_-

Did he... Stab me in the mouth?!?? What am I looking at here? X_X

Also, why doesn't he just activate his demon form!?!

Wait, is he feeding me the Ochimizu?!

Kaoru says that the water of life will eat away at Okita's body faster than if he'd just succumbed to TB but that's clearly not true if he's living long enough to see the end of the Shinsengumi. Plus, a short life of action is better than spending the rest of your days fading away in a sickbed.

"Okita comforted me with the soft tickle of his hands as they wiped away each tear with a warm touch." :3 Pretty darn wholesome! I will concede this point!

"you're a sweetheart." :3 Thank.

"You're a good girl" And am I supposed to wag my tail at that? X_X

"I... I am in love with Okita." O: Damn, that'll go straight to his head X_X

"more than anything or anyone" not that that's saying much :P Sorry, romantic moment, must resist shit talking urges!

"I believed that if I died, no one would give a shit." </3 O: )': DX Neveeeeeerrrrr!!!!

I prescribe HUG INJECTION >:(

"You look like shit" -_- Way to kill the mood.

"Here, come closer." :D Okay, I forgive you! <3

Oh, he played the uno reverse card on my hug plan :O

"How could I keep myself calm when the man I loved held me delicately in his arms?" BIG. MOOD.

Awe, he didn't kill Kaoru because "my heart knew it didn't want you to hate me..." <3 <3 <3 >.<

"My heart melted." SAME.

Chapter 2:

Damn, we're only on Chapter 2 and things are already getting pretty fluffy...

"Do you want me to sleep next to you?" DO IT. XD I dare you :P

"I wonder if Okita thought of me as nothing more than a silk kimono and a warming stone, as if that was all I could offer..." Girl, come on! Don't sell him short like this! Oh, and tell me more about what you want to offer him 3:)

Well, it looks like blood is the answer, for now O_O

"Y-You're not gonna offer me a-any blood today? Trying to play hard to get?" -_-

"his warm mouth drew my blood into his full, tender lips." X_X Sounds like someone needs a cold shower...

"I'm a diseased freak with no hope for the future." D: Don't say that! Everybody dies eventually! You still have strength to achieve the things you want and we can still be happy together! :'(

"I will be by your side, Okita... No matter what." YUS >:)

SEN!!! <3

"Would it have killed you to at least write us a letter?" O: I'm sorry! X_X

Ha. Bold of you to assume that Kodo's continued research might be in your favour.

"Kondou has surrendered to the Imperial Army." O_O OH FUCK.

And of course Okita is blaming Hijikata X_X

"You are making assumptions, most of which are uninformed" Yeah, you tell him, Sen-bae!

I still don't see why we can't at least try to rescue Kondou >:( Are we just supposed to sit tight and wait for him to be executed?!??

" I'm sure that Kondou would be very unhappy to hear his life was saved at the cost of Okita's." >:( And I'm sure that he would be even more unhappy to hear that Okita spent the rest of his days confined to his bed, in misery and anguish. >:(

The dream was pretty wholesome :'o

I guess protecting the things that are important to Kondou, like his legacy, is more important than protecting Kondou himself. Kondou entrusted his legacy to Okita, and so his efforts might be better spent elsewhere, rather than on rescuing Kondou. :'( That's up to him, though.

HUG ALERT!!! 8D

"No matter how many times he touched me, I couldn't have imagined ever tiring of the sensation..." XD The thirst is real!

"Y'know, ever since you came into my life, I've always given you a hard time..." WHERE IS THE LIE?

These two assholes in each other's arms, like "Welp, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of telling you that I love you so we're just going to continue this totally not heterosexual hug right now and stfu."

:D I am happy to see Hijikata! However, I know someone who may feel differently -_-

"Would you like me to wake him." O_O Nooooot a good idea, Chizuru!

"Without me to blame, I doubt he'll have anything to motivate him, and I'm worried he'll lose the will to live." :O Hijikata, that's kind of sweet in a fucked up kind of way but you underestimate the power of LOVE >:)

THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE FUCKING KAORU AGAIN!!!

:O Kazama and Amagiri?! I was beginning to think that Kazama had lost interest in me. Or, at least, hoped he had.

"This evening... Isami Kondou was beheaded." I just gasped out loud! Kondou, no! D':

OMG, IS CHIZURU TRANSFORMING INTO A BADASS DEMON?! 8D 8D 8D

"A woman who has sullied herself with the water of life is unworthy of my love. Consider this over." ... IF I KNEW THAT THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK, I WOULD HAVE DRANK THAT FUCKING CONCOCTION YEARS AGO >_<

"You are dead to me." GOOD.

Awe, Okita! :'(

NOW I'M CRYING, TOO D'X Damn this game DX

Chapter 3:

Chasing down the Shinsengumi >:) ... Again! If this is anything like Kazama's route, this is going to be depressing af...

We're like two fuzzy wood creatures, going from cozy spot to cozy spot to snooze in during the day :')

"Be a good girl," >_< Staaaaaahhhp!!!

"They went thattaway!" XD I know that this situation is pretty dire but that sentence makes me chuckle!

"Fight...? You?" Ye bitch! >:) I got me my ochimizu powers now!

"How dare you, you bastard!" UM. YOU ATTACKED US!!! WE WERE TRYING TO HAVE A NAP!

*Slash, slash, squelch, splat* X_X

"Ahahaha! You're just helpless pigs!" -_- Uh, Okita? Calm the fuck down, k? You're starting to sound like Kazama!

"his sadistic display of sword mastery." Yup, they be the right words -_-

Ugh, I got shot. Probably shouldn't have been standing around doing NOTHING X_X

D: I killed a guy! GUYS, CHIZURU JUST STABBED SOMEONE IN THE HEART, COME AND SEE!!! :')

"Chizuru, you're trying to hard." *Hides guide* I don't know what you could possibly mean :) :) :)

:O a kunai?! Could it be... my boy YAM?!

YAM!!! :'D

"I just assumed you died or something." Okita is the queen of tact, as always :')

Wait, Yamazaki, don't stay behind on your own O':

NOOOOOOOOO O_O

YAMAZAKIIIIIIII!!!!

OMG HE'S OKAY!!! 8'D 8'D

"I... Cannot afford to die yet..." Doesn't stop you in most routes, though, does it? X_X

"This doesn't look good..." Oh no! Is he going to succumb to his injuries off screen?! D': Classic Yamazaki D,X

"You've been spying on us for days, and I didn't even notice." :') That's our Yam boy!

Aw, Okita gave Yamazaki the thank you!

I reeeeeaaally don't think that Kondou would want Okita to murder Hijikata X_X

"I am going to be late, but I promise to return." YOU HAD BETTER. >:( DON'T DIE, YAMAZAKI!

Owl <3 Hoot hoot to you too, my friend!

Don't kill Hijikata, you dumbass. -_-

"A penchant for violence" X_X That's Okita all right!

It would be funny if he were drinking from Chizuru's foot, instead... Just, something about the way he's holding her hand invites that image XD

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! WHY DOES A BATTLE HAVE TO ERUPT EVERYWHERE WE GO!?!

"Okita grabbed my hand" 8D < Happy Chizuru!

Wait... I'M GETTING BLOODLUST?!? MONSTER CHIZURU IS UNLEASHED >:)

Oh, I guess not. Kinda disappointed, tbh XD

Ugh, can we just catch up to Hijikata already? Let's get this over with.

Wait, his sister was "wedded off to some deadbeat"!?! I wonder how old she was... :/

"I was bullied and given shit all the time." :'(

The CG of Okita giving Hijikata the evils is BEAUTIFUL! X'D

"He was a rich snob" somehow, I doubt that...

Wow, Okita really is seething with passionate jealousy for Hijikata... Even though Kondou gave him the sword X_X

I feel like Kondou's relationship with Hijikata is different enough than Okita and Kondou's that Okita's intense jealousy seems a bit much...

It sort of feels kind of like a kid being jealous of their dad's new girlfriend X_X

MORE HUGS >:D

"Before I knew it, you slithered your way into my heart..." That's a pretty weird but also adorable thing to say X'D SLITHER SLITHER

"And you know just what to say," I KNOW, UNCANNY, RIGHT :) :) :) *hides guide*

"We couldn't help but succumb to the hypnotic lull of our passionate embrace." XD Does this mean a fade-to-black is coming :P

I love that their following Hijikata tracks like they're hunting the wild Hijikata beast XD

Is he all alone?

Oh, he has a bodyguard XD

Really inappropriate time to mention this but this route makes Hijikata seem more attractive to me than before XD Maybe it's because of the contrast with Okita's sadistic, violent, volatile side... Maybe it's because he seems more vulnerable when being berated by Okita, idk XD Leave Hijikata alone, Okita!

"You could have saved him!" But Hijikata has RESPONSIBILITIES. He can't just abandon his men and their cause to save Kondou, even if he wanted to :'(

"I COULDN'T!!!" Yeah, you tell him, Hijikata >:(

OKITA, DON'T PUNCH HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! I mean, uh... XD

Wait, we're not going with the Shinsengumi?! O_e

"Hijikata's a real dumbass, don't you think?" -_- .......NO!

Kondou reading to tiny Okita = mega cuteness!

"If I never met Kondou, there's no doubt in my mind that I'd be waaaaay more cuckoo than I am now." And nobody, NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT O_O

"You and Kondou are pretty similar" Obviously, that's a compliment and I'm super flattered but I reeeeeaaally hope that this relationship isn't just because Chizuru reminds him of Kondou XP

"My heart suddenly melted in my chest." What, again!?! Chizuru's heart had been through A LOT during this route -_-

"To be fair, it was a little strange of Okita to compare a woman he loved to a man he viewed as a father..." <<< See?! :P

Skipping off, hand in hand :')

Chapter 4:

Aw, tiny Chizuru sadness flashback </3

It's unthinkably awful, what happened to the village, but revenge =/= genocide.

Chizuru, y u lie? -_-

"There were men who took pleasure from their evil deeds." And demons, too... And Okita, to an extent XD

Ugh, I bet Kaoru's gonna sneak up on me while Okita's gone and be all, "Yeeeeesssss.... Give in to your anger... Feel the hate flow through you..." Fucking annoying hate goblin child.

OH, LOOK WHO IT IS!!!

"You're a real bitch, you know that?" Oh, I'M A BITCH??!! Sure thing, tiny asshole. -_-

"At long last, we can come together. We can be the siblings were born to be." ... Happy and free from the burdens of hate and bitterness? O_O

"We are going to massacre the evil forces conspiring within this country, for the good of our people." ... What people? The dead ones? Yeah, I'm sure they'll be reeeeeeaaal grateful from their graves. Sounds like you just want an excuse to torment some humans, you sadistic piece of shit -_-

"Suddenly, I craved blood..." OH HO!

"I... I craved Okita's blood..." 'Sonly fair >:P

"my entire body screamed to tear Okita limb from limb." 8O Yikes.

I... Kinda want to know what happens if I give in to the bloodlust... 😏

Buuuuut I gotta endure it. Damn.

Oh, it's cold up North, is it? ;P What can we possibly do to stay warm in bed?

PENGUIN HUDDLE is hopefully the answer.

<3 :D Looking up at the stars together!

"I want to make your wishes come true. All of them..." :D Okita is every girl's dream sexy murder genie :)

""If you still plan on walking away from me and everything you have..." Okita reached his hand to me kindly." :) :) :)

"Then, I will kill you " FFS XD THIS BITCH!!!

I bet we're gonna kiss now or something. Damn that sexy murder genie X_X

Oh, no kissing, just crying XD That's... Actually more appropriate, even if they are happy tears :')

O WAIT, "I grabbed ahold of him madly" ...

SMOOCHY SMOOCHY >:)

"For once in my life, I felt whole," Awe </3 "the thought of which nearly brought my tears." BITCH, UR ALREADY CRYING XD

"each breath between our zealous smacking grew more strained and sensuous." O_e ... Uh, what did I just read? XD XD XD

"now that Kondou's gone... I only have one reason to fight." Uh... I have a feeling that it's a Chizuru reason... He really needs to find his own motivations, instead of just attaching himself to the causes of people who give him attention. Okay, that was a bit harsh. X_X I'm sorry, Okita!

"How about another kiss, huh?" "B-but, um... W-we just kissed..." ... SO!?! GIRL, YOU KNOW YOU'RE HOT FOR HIM!

"I'm askin' you if you'll have me or not." ... When he says "have", does he mean . . .

"Well, I think there's a time and place for everything." ... Damn. Is this game suggesting that if I say yes, I'm a slut and he'll think less of me? XP BOOOOOOO!

"Watching you squirm like that makes me want to play with you even more." XD As I predicted: Big Dom Energy!

"As long as I will live, I will crave your touch..." *Munches popcorn* Just screw, damn it!

"Our plump lips smeared against one another, and he pulled at a fistful of my hair, drawing me deeper into him as he bit forcefully into my lower lip." :O ... Kinky! >:P I totally called it XD

"I do not mind putting up with anything you might do to me, Okita." How... Romantic?? O_e Just admit that you're horny, Chizuru! There's no shame, I swear!

"I bet when I'm gone, you'll sob like a baby." :'O YES. OBVIOUSLY. >:'(

"Okita spooned me," Classic XD

Ew, Kodo.

"You look pale. Please do not tell me that you have been refusing to drink blood." XD Thanks for your concern...

Bless Okita for offering himself as an all-you-can-eat buffet X_X

"If I were to commit to this relationship, then it meant I needed to separate myself from my family." DRAMAAAA! :D *Pulls out another bag of popcorn*

"I have no desire to carve a life that comes at the expense of hurting others." PREACH B)

#hakuoki #hakuouki #okita #okita souji #edo blossoms #LONG #SALT #otome adventures #SO MANY WORDS #I DIDN'T KNOW THAT TUMBLR HAD A WORD LIMIT BUT I GUESS I FOUND IT #Tune in for part 4 #i have an addiction

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calums--penguin · 7 years

Text

forget it

word count: 2.6k

requested: yes ;) I have no idea if this is what you wanted by hope you like it anyways

warnings: mature language & angst I guess

summary: you’re best friends with the boys and secretly in love with Ashton but when he gets a girlfriend, any hope of him liking you disappears.

a/n: this could’ve been longer but honestly it was long enough tbf & this feels kind of rushed but that might just be me

“She’s so rude.” Luke complained, his body hunched forward as the four of you sat on the couch. You were trapped between Calum and Michael as Luke sat on an armchair opposite you.

“I still haven’t met her.” you sighed, resting your head on Michael’s shoulder, wallowing in self-misery. It was no secret that you were completely infatuated with the curly haired boy and it seemed like he felt the same until he brought home a girl called Lola, his new girlfriend.

“Consider yourself lucky.” Calum huffed from beside you, rolling his eyes back before relaxing into the worn couch. You let out a sigh, your heart pounding in anticipation as you awaited the return of the hazel-eyed boy and his girlfriend.

Ashton had wanted to introduce you to her for a while now but you could never bring yourself to actually meet her, which was only made worse when the boys told you she was a horrible human being.

Your heart ached at the thought. Ashton deserved someone kind and wholehearted even if that person wasn’t you. But according to the boys, he was smitten with the blonde haired girl.

“What time are they coming back?” you asked, your head still resting on Michael’s shoulder as you both lied back, your back hitting the old leather couch.

“Any second now,” Luke huffed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m still surprised he even has a girlfriend, especially after everything he said about you.”

Your eyebrows raised at Luke’s words, confused as to what he was talking about. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He always talked about you, he was so captivated with you. So him bringing home a girl that wasn’t you is surprising, to say the least.” Calum answered, glancing over at you briefly as he spoke.

Your heart sank at his words, you’d always had your suspicions but it seemed he’d moved on and there was nothing more you could do.

The door slam echoed through the apartment and your heart was beating out of your chest. Michael wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into him almost as if he could sense the anxiety that was taking over you.

Luke looked up at you with sympathetic eyes which quickly turned hard as he heard a girly giggle fill the apartment. Your whole body tensed and Michael was quick to notice, rubbing small patterns on your clothed skin in hopes to ease you.

“Hey, anyone home?” Ashton’s voice boomed out as you shrunk into Michael’s torso but he didn’t seem to mind.

“In here.” Calum replied, a bite to his words as his jaw clenched.

Ashton entered the room a few moments later, his hands intertwined with a short, pretty blonde girl. His eyes scanned the room, his face breaking out into a grin which quickly disappeared when he saw you cuddling tightly into Michael.

“Y/N! I’ve been meaning to introduce you to Lola,” he started, glancing back to his girlfriend, “Lola, this is Y/N and Y/N, this is Lola.”

You sent her a warm smile, hoping she wasn’t nearly as bad as the boys made her out to be but the raised eyebrows and eye roll made it clear enough. But Ashton was too focused looking at you to notice her action.

The room was filled with silence, Lola clinging on to Ashton as he looked her his jaw still slightly clenched.

“So, what do you guys want to do?” you said, breaking the silence. Everyone’s heads snapped to you as you sat there, an awkward smile resting on your face.

“I was thinking pizza and movies, like before.” Michael smiled, glancing around the room, earning nods from the two other seated boys.

“Actually, Ashton and I were going to head back to my place.” Lola chirped, her eyes burning into you. You suddenly felt incredibly insecure, you’re sitting there wearing an oversized sweatshirt whilst she stood tall, a mini skirt adorning her figure.

“But we just got here babe.” Ashton said sadly, his eyes meeting her bright blue ones. Your heart sinking even further at the pet name.

“And now we’re leaving. Let’s go.” she smirked, her eyes traveling around the room, shooting dirty looks at you and the rest of the boys.

Ashton smiled sadly at you, ignoring the rest of the boys’ grimacing faces. You smiled at him, your eyes full of sympathy as the girl tugged at his bicep once again.

“I guess I’ll talk to you guys later then.” Ashton waved, being pulled from the room before you could even say goodbye.

Silence took over the room once again, only interrupted by the loud door slam that followed their exit. Your eyes met Luke’s, his baby blue eyes now a shade darker than usual.

“What a bitch.” Calum huffed, making a giggle escape you which made the rest of the boys lighten up a little.

“And here I was, thinking Michael was the bitchiest girl around.” you huffed with a smirk, the two boys erupting with laughter as Michael looked down at you with a grimace before rolling his eyes and breaking out into a grin.

It was a few hours until Ashton arrived home again, alone this time. You were smushed into the couch, pizza boxes and soda surrounding you when Ashton returned home.

“Hey, I’m home.” Ashton said from the doorway, all eyes finding their way to his lean figure. The boys looked at him with disgust whilst you smiled at him, making a small smile grace his lips.

“Is she with you?” Calum spat, looking behind him expecting to see the short girl behind him.

“No, just me.” Ashton stated, walking towards the four of you. The boys reverted their attention back to the TV, South Park gracing the screen.

You scooted over slightly, making room for Ashton to sit down but instead he took the larger armchair that Luke had resided in earlier that day.

Michael snaked an arm around you once again and it was then you realized what he’d been trying to do all day. Ashton’s jaw clenched at the sight and his eyes went hard making a smirk play on Michael’s lips.

Michael leaned down, his warm breath hitting against your ear as he whispered to you, “Let’s make him jealous.”

You couldn’t help but smile, your eyes trailing down to the floor; desperately trying to avoid eye contact with Ashton.

Michael’s arm wrapped tightly around your waist pulling you even closer into him as you rested your head on his chest, similarly as to how you’d sat earlier that day. Your hand rested on his thigh, Ashton’s lips twitched up almost reminiscing a snarl.

“Y/N, can I talk to you? In private.” Ashton asked, his tone making it sound like more of a statement than a question.

“Keep it going, let’s see how far we can go till he breaks.” Michael sniggered in your ear. You couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty, after all, he was your best friend but you couldn’t resist seeing his reaction.

“After this episode.” you smiled warmly, reverting your attention back to Michael who was staring down at you. A large smirk graced his face and it took everything within you to not laugh.

Michael leaned down once again, his lips dancing along the outer shell of your ear making you shudder slightly. “Okay, so pretend I’m saying something really funny to make him annoyed.”

You laughed, mostly because you thought this whole jealousy game was actually quite funny. Michael smiled again before whispering again, which to anyone else would’ve looked flirty.

“Oh, shit. He’s getting annoyed. Told you he liked you.” Michael whispered playfully making your heart pound as you stole a glance at Ashton who was watching the two of you intently.

Before you had the chance to respond Ashton stormed over to the two of you, grabbing your forearm before lifting you off the red-haired boy.

“Episodes over, time to talk.” Ashton said, pulling you from your seat and into the hallway, leaving the rest of the boys grinning on the couch.

As soon as you reached the hallway, the grip on your wrist loosening but his fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

“Since when were you and Michael a thing?” he spat, his words laced with venom.

“Me and Michael?” you laughed flatly, ”Michael and I aren’t anything.”

His eyebrows raised at your statement, clearly not believing you.

“Well, you seemed really comfortable back there. Him whispering into your ear and you giggling back at him, didn’t seem like nothing.” he said through gritted teeth, each word coming out more poisonous than the last.

“What has my love life got to do with you. You have a girlfriend.” you said, sounding angrier than originally intended but you couldn’t help the fire inside of you that came with the thought of the blonde girl.

“So what? As soon as I get a girlfriend you go crawling to the next boy?” Ashton shouted, waving his hands around in the air.

“Michael and I are friends. Why do you even care so much? It’s not like we’re dating.” you shouted back, the once peaceful conversation now becoming heated.

“Ugh, would you stop asking questions.” Ashton said, tugging at the ends of his hair.

You went silent, watching Ashton as he tried to collect his thoughts, pacing back and forth in the small width of the hallway. You stared down at your shoes, your heart feeling as if it could fall out of your chest.

“Ash, calm down.” you sighed, looking back up at him to find him clearly stressed and aggravated.

“Do you know how hard it is to watch you cuddle into him? To watch you giggle at the things he says and to have your hand on his fucking thigh.” he said, his eyes burning into you and you couldn’t help but feel tiny as he towered over you.

“Do you know how hard it is to hear you ramble on about your girlfriend? To hear how captivated you are with her and still have to smile and tell you she sounds great. Because it fucking hurts, Ash.” you finished, tears glossing your eyes.

Ashton cowered back, his eyes sad as he took in your words. A tear slipped down your face and you shook your head pathetically, wiping your face.

“I-I didn’t-” Ashton started before cutting himself off, not able to finish his own sentence.

“Forget it.” you sighed, moping back into the front room; leaving Ashton alone in the hallway.

The boys had remained on the couch, all of their eyes on you. It was clear from the pitiful smiles that they’d heard everything but you hadn’t expected any less since the two of you were practically screaming at each other.

Calum held his arms open which you miserably fell into, his chin resting on the top of your head, rubbing small circles into your back.

You heard Ashton leave, taking a small piece of you with him.

“What a dick.” Luke spat, making you smile softly at his annoyance. “He gets his dream girl fucking handed to him and he still goes crawling back to some rich bitch.”

You smiled at him, his temper seeming to burn out as he smiled softly back at you. You let out a huff, as you relaxed into the kiwi boy.

“I’ll get over it.” you sighed, reverting your attention to the TV knowing full well that it wasn’t that easy.

It was the very next day you found out that Ashton had broken up with Lola, apparently she’d been cheating or at least that’s what you’d been told.

The boys had forgiven Ash but you still couldn’t bring yourself to face him despite his constant attempts to contact you, whether that be through texts, calls or face to face.

You knew you couldn’t avoid him forever but you liked to think that you could. It’d been working for a while now but Ashton was trying harder to grab your attention.

“You’re gonna have to speak to him someday.” Luke sighed, bringing up the subject for the thousandth time since him and Ashton had rekindled their friendship.

“I prefer to avoid the problem until it goes away. In this instance Ashton is the problem.” you said, sending him a sarcastic smile. His eyes rolled back as he smirked at you.

“You can’t hide from your problems forever.” he smiled, looking over your shoulder and to the door of the diner which you currently occupied. Your head snapped around to see the curly haired boy glancing around before spotting you.

You looked across the booth, prepared to scold Luke; only to find him gone. You looked back once again to find him talking to Ashton before sending you a wink and leaving.

Ashton slowly walked towards your booth as you sunk into your seat in hopes it would swallow you up. Unfortunately, it didn’t and soon you found yourself sitting opposite Ashton, resuming the position that belonged to Luke a few moments before.

“Hi.” he breathed, his eyes burning into you as you slouched into the seat. You flicked your eyebrows up at him, the straw of your milkshake suddenly becoming interesting.

“Are you just gonna ignore me?” he groaned, his eyes searching your face for any emotions.

“That’s the plan.” you smiled, before continuing to fiddle with the straw.

“What have I got to do to make you forgive me?” he asked, his eyes sad as you finally made eye contact. Your heart yearned to forgive him and tell him you loved him but you wouldn’t allow yourself to.

“You broke me, Ash. You had a girlfriend but still got jealous, or at least I think that’s what that was. I thought that maybe, just maybe you felt the same way but now I’m just confused.” you sighed. “I loved you and I still do.”

Your eyes were glossy as you sat there, awaiting his speech about how he loves you but only as a friend before proceeding to tell you that he hopes it can go back to the way it was.

But before he said anything he reached across the table, cupping your hand in his two large ones as you looked up at him with scrunched eyebrows.

“I love you Y/N. So much.” he smiled sadly, his warmth radiating through you as his hands rubbed against yours.

“Then why’d you get a girlfriend?” you said, your voice small in hopes he wouldn’t hear the wavering in your speech.

“Because I thought I didn’t deserve you. I needed a distraction and Lola was perfect,” he said, making you wince slightly at the use of her name. “But she wasn’t you.”

Your eyes burned into his as a tear threatened to spill but as soon as one did, Ashton was quick to catch it; the pad of his thumb swiping across your cheek.

“So, you actually like me back?” you sighed, desperate for reassurance despite his confession. He chuckled slightly before speaking once again.

“I don’t like you, baby girl.” he started, “I love you.”

Your heart fluttered and you could’ve sworn you nearly threw up. The small smile he sent you almost made you explode and you were puzzled as to how he kept such a nonchalant composure whilst professing his love to somebody.

“I love you too.” you breathed.

Ashton leaned over the table and softly pressed his lips against yours making your eyes flutter shut and your heart to pound even harder than before.

It was a few moments before he pulled back, your lips tingling from the innocent yet meaningful kiss.

“God, I love you so much. I didn’t even think it was possible.” he muttered, somewhat to himself but it was knowingly directed at you.

“Can we go home?” you smiled, your eyes soft as they met his dilated ones.

“Of course, baby.”

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seven-oomen · 4 years

Text

Oh, I have many feelings, of many varieties, about Infinity War/Endgame. And for added fun, I saw both films with a group that included a hardcore Steggy shipper who kept going on and on and on about how angry she would be if all the little hints they’d been dropping about them seeing each other again and/or getting to be together again led to nothing, particularly with time travel on the table, and how dare Marvel do that if they didn’t plan to follow through. And I just kept thinking “the sheer audacity… you’ve had multiple openly romantic moments including a kiss, and something approaching closure already. do you know how happy I am when some of my rarer ships just get to be in the same scene together at all? not even interacting, just in the same scene? and don’t even talk to me about ship-baiting, you haven’t even the faintest idea" There was a lot of tongue biting not to be THAT BITCH about it that happened, especially after what Endgame did.

Also, all I’ve really gotten from that whole wolf discourse thing is a reminder how sad I am that no one has brought a Tibetan Mastiff into our store. (Isn’t there some kind of Russian Bear Dog that’s also supposed to be freaking ginormous?) The two biggest I can think of that I’ve seen at work are that Akita who’s around 180-190lbs, and probably around 70-75cm at the shoulder (based off about where I remember him hitting along my leg the time his owner asked me to hold his lead while he ran back to his car for something. I was very glad he’s probably also the most chill dog I’ve ever met), and this Great Dane I haven’t seen come in in a while the top of whose head probably cleared 5ft when he was standing on all fours. Tbf, he was a Harlequin Dane, and I think they tend to be the biggest (I think his owner had like, 3 of them, too.) It does make it funny when people will see someone’s 70lb Lab and be like "wow that dog is huge”, and in my head I’m just like “oh you have no idea…" We did once have both a Leonberger puppy and a French Mastiff puppy come in, both of them at least 40lb and both only about 4 months old, but they never did come back by, so I don’t know how big they finally got. I do remember that the French Mastiff was getting carried around like a baby. Like paws over the shoulders, cradled in their arms, head resting against the side of theirs carried. It was made you both want to coo at the adorableness while also warning the person "oh, you’re gonna regret that in a few months…”

And yeah, one of the things I loved best about some of Stiles and Jackson’s scenes were when Stiles would put up with exactly zero of Jax’s bullshit. Because he sometimes needs reminding that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. (Sometimes he’d remind me a little too much of a bully I had to deal with in elementary school, it was cathartic. It was kinda “I like you, but you’re workin’ my last good nerve.”) Although I feel like in this version Malia or Allison would actually be much better at it, because he wouldn’t expect it from either of them (though frankly he grew up with Allie and should really know better.) I feel like eventually he and Stiles will develop that whole “only I’m allowed to give him shit, if you try it I’ll fuck you up” thing, but it’ll take a while. And I’m happy with whatever questions you decide fit with the flow of the story. If most have to wait, or even not ever get totally answered, that’s more than okay.

Well, I’m glad I didn’t interfere with your productivity this time. XD I’d actually occasionally had the thought, but then just decide that there was no way I was gonna actually go there. Then I had to listen to 20 minutes of her telling me about how she’d tried to pack things as discreetly as possible and now couldn’t figure out which box it was and how she hoped it wasn’t one that one of her kids would end up opening at some point, and I was just like, “oh why the hell not, I’m thinking about it again now, anyway." Speaking of such things, can you imagine if any of the current twins made that unfortunate discovery at any point? Like, which ones would it be? Would they tell/show their sibling? Would their respective dads know they did, or would they manage to keep it a secret? Also, ngl, when you mentioned magic wand massagers my brain immediately dove back to Harry Potter for a minute and I laughed so hard I almost cried. Ha, there’s an idea: magically enhanced sex toys. (Noah hasn’t let Stiles see that particular spellbook yet.) And I can’t remember the exact wording but there’s a polyship post I see pop up on tumblr occasionally and one of the last things is something like "Person A and B are home alone and just start casually making out, then things get a bit more hot and heavy, but they know Person C will be home from work soon, so they try to hold out. Person C finally gets home, sees the look on their faces and just sighs in (faux) disappointment and starts taking off their clothes”, and I really feel like that could not be more accurate to those three (any of whom could be A, B, or C at any given time).

In an attempt to salvage something more wholesome from my random musings, I’d like to introduce the idea of Christmas traditions and fluff. (Yes, I know it’s June, but I’ve been hearing radio ads about some Christmas in July thing the Hallmark Channel’s doing next month for days, and have hit some of the Santa episodes in the Futurama rewatch I’ve been doing. So.) Just imagine. Craft Dad Peter making ornaments with his kids. Them pulling out the ones the older kids made in school to make new ones with their younger siblings. Glitter-covered pine cones, construction paper picture frames, crudely painted faux stained glass shapes, popsicle stick snowflakes, craft foam and pom pom snowmen. (They’re gonna end up needing multiple trees.) Making strands of popcorn garland and yelling at Stiles and Jackson because they won’t stop eating the popcorn instead of threading it. Fake mistletoe bunches suddenly festooning every doorway even though no one will admit to hanging it (it was totally Noah.) All the dads breaking out their special seasonal cookie/cake/pie/etc recipes. Chris coordinating with Malia to get all the pictures for their family Christmas card every year because he has the most flexible hours, and always getting an oversize print of the final version to put on the mantle for the season. Allison (and eventually Lydia) transforming the inside of the house into an elegant, homey, wonderland (Ooh, maybe she/they find a box or two of decorations in the Hale vault and surprise Peter and Derek by adding them in one year.) Everybody attempting to pitch in on decorating the outside of the house only for it to descend into a prolonged snowball fight (shhh, I know Cali probably doesn’t see that much snow, just go with it.) Then when they all finally troop in, cold and soaking, Derek makes them the most frankly AMAZING hot chocolate using the recipe he learned from his dad. MATCHING SWEATERS. Ugly sweaters. Matching ugly sweaters. Sing-a-longs and caroling. Trying to implement a Secret Santa system (because jeez that’s a lot of gifts to get), but failing at it every time because “I just couldn’t help myself, I kept finding things that were perfect." Peter buying his husbands the fancy expensive shit they won’t normally let him get away with. Him going way overboard with the kids’ gifts the first few years to make up for lost time. And speaking of Peter pulling either or both Omegas into his lap, you know he can’t resist doing it just to make a "Have you been a good boy this year?/Why don’t you sit on my lap and tell me what you want?” joke at LEAST once a season. At least. Can they even fit everyone’s stockings on the mantle, or do they have to do some creative placement? Do Stiles and Jackson ever stop getting each other little coal-themed gag gifts? Do they get real trees from the Preserve or do they opt for fake trees because no one can remember to water them? (Or would Chris volunteer to do it?) Curling up on the couch under the assorted memory quilts and fluffy blankets to watch Christmas movies and holiday specials, or just watch the lights dancing on the tree (multi-colored on the one in the living room/den, because that’s more cozy, no I’m not taking arguments) and enjoy finally being able to be together (peacefully). Just. All the warm domestic holiday goodness. Uh, presuming of course they celebrate Christmas. If not, please adapt the above to the nearest appropriate, equivalent holiday. I just happened to be feeling inspired, and went the “write what you know” route.

General mood when seeing one of these <3

#ben says stuff #once upon a time comments #my convos with anon #my sleeping pills are kicking in #I'm barely awake #but these deserve to see the light #submission

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shooting-the-walls · 5 years

Text

The Empty Hearse: my inner monologue because I like writing these

I would just like to point out before we get going that I was rather a latecomer to this fandom. I got into it just as Season 4 was released, so early 2017. When this episode was released in 2014 I was only 10 years old!!! Still probably my favourite fandom though, the one I always find myself returning to.

Anyways, on with my crazy monologue!!

• We stan a quick rundown of the Depression of the Century

• #creepymaskmuch

• Molly be like "oh damn"

• Uno reverse bitches!!!

• Molly be like "YAAAAS"

• I'm sorry can we just acknowledge how hot the window jump is

• Bet John wished he could be Molly in that sitch XD

• DERREN BROWN MOTHERFUCKERS

• Still feel so sorry for John :(

• "BOLLOCKS"

• Greg is so fucking done with Anderson's theories XD

• "You're a guilty lil bitch Anderson, stfu": Lestrade 2k14

• "I BelIEVe iN sHErloCK HOLmeS"

• Eyyyyyyy Sherlock is not guilty!!!! (Obvs)

• When depression hits, get a (terrible) moustache bitches

• WE DON'T TRUST YOU MARY, DON'T ACT ALL NICEY NICE

• Ooooo helicopters and running, Mission Impossible style

• When you just..... give the fuck up

• When you can't stand that screaming so you just turn your music up

• I mean torture is pretty harsh man

• Of course Sherlock would deduce his way out XD

• When Mycroft just doesn't give a Single Shit

• WE STAN THE THEME TUNNNEEEEE

• John be like "nah imma just stare at this wall"

• Mycroft's got a fancy fucking office guys

• John stop tryna be Sherlock with your terrible imitation coat and scarf

• Mrs Hudson always cares for her adoptive sons, but she does with high sarcasm and sass

• Mycroft, why does your office look like a torture chamber??

• Benedict is HOT Jesus

• "Definitely. Enjoying it.": You! Don't! Appreciate! Your! Brother!

• 2 HOURS TO LEARN A BLOODY LANGUAGE!?!?! JESUS FUCK I DID 7 YEARS OF FRENCH AND I CAN BARELY HOLD A CONVERSATION

• Anthea prefers Sherlock to Mycroft, they have bitch sessions about him pass it on lol

• Mrs Hudson is so sassy and honest XD

• John you fucking liar you're not sorry

• Mycroft is so Done with his little brother XD

• Sherlock, stop personifying London dude

• "Yes, we meet up every Friday for fish and chips": Mycroft, the sarcasm is not needed

• MYCROFT TELL YOUR BROTHER WHAT HE FUCKING DID TO JOHN

• Mrs Hudson is such a fucking Queen

• "What's his name?"

• "Sherlock was not my boyfriend": YES HE FUCKING WAS SHUT UP

• "I AM NOT GAY": wow, denial is high there John

• Mrs Hudson ships Johnlock more than the rest of the fandom combined XD

• Mycroft: "oh yeah but the other wine is like so much better. Anyways, your bff hates you now byeeeee"

• I LOVE THE MUSIC IN THE RESTAURANT SCENE GEEEEZ

• Sherlock is such a fucking little twat when he wants to be lol

• "Would I suggest you look at this menus, it's... completely identical"

• THE ACCENT. THE FUCKING ACCENT. I'M WHEEZING

• The way he's just tryna be like "look at meeeeeeee" and John gives not a single fuck

• "Surprise me" "certainly endeavouring to, sir"

• Awwwwwww hey Mary

• John is such an awkward lil hedgehog

• Mary: I agree I'm the best thing that could have happened to you

John: bitch you're not Sherlock

• SHERLOCK FUCK OFF

• Oh damn. OH DAMN.

• John just having a mini mental breakdown here

• "Short version. Not dead."

• John looks like he's about to kill someone (preferably Sherlock)

• "Oh God" "Not quite"

• SHERLOCK STOP MAKING BAD JOKES ABOUT THE MOUSTACHE SITCH

• The look in Sherlock's eyes when he realises that John isn't happy to see him

• #deflectiontechniques

• HE LOOKS IN SO MUCH PAIN ON THE FLOOR BABBBBYYYYYY

• In the cafe, Sherlock just looks like a kid that's like 2 hours late home

• "You know for a genius you can be remarkably thick"

• "That's a little more difficult to explain" "I've got all night bitch"

• "Just your brother, Molly and a hundred tramps"

• I love that they end up in a chip shop XD

• John, your moustache is terrible. Accept it lol

• "One word to let me know that you were alive"

• Mary just laughing her head off in the corner XD

• Sherlock: BITCH STFU IT'S A SECRET (whilst entire chip shop is listening in)

• *headbutt*

• "I said sorry, isn't that what you're supposed to do?"

• Mary knows what's up BUT SHE A LIAR

• SHERLOCK LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO CRY WHAT A SWEETIE

• Honestly don't know why Mollie looks so shocked, like she knew he was alive

• Greg is just like a proud Papa

• "Oo you bastard!"

• Sherlock being vaguely confused/irritated by a hug XD

• BBC, can we talk about the random shot of the back of Una Stubbs' throat?

• THEY EVEN GOT ONE IN FOR THE SHERIARTY SHIPPERS, HAVE THEY JUST COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT JOHNLOCK :(:(:(

• Anderson just doesn't ship Sheriarty XD

• Think the Chip Shop Argument got spilled lol

• Mary is having the time of her life reading the blog XD

• Mary really ships the boys right from the start lol

• "I don't shave for Sherlock Holmes" "You should put that on a t-shirt"

• "SHERLOCK HOLMES GET DOWN FROM THAT SOFA OR SO HELP ME GOD--": Mrs Holmes 1983-present

• The terror alert is on critical and these bitches are just playing chess

• Ngl, missed the burgundy dressing gown

• "Oh bugger!"

• WE STAN THE BROTHERS PLAYING OPERATION

• SHERLOCK'S IMITATION THO

• Mycroft be so defensive

• "Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock. We had nothing else to go on until we met other children" "Oh yes, that was a mistake" "ghastly. What were they thinking of?" "Probably something about making friends": I feel SO sorry for the Holmes parents XD

• Mycroft, I think your brother is trying to set you up with a lil someone (

• "Change the subject. Now"

• Mrs Hudson: :)

• "He's pleased to see you underneath all that--" "Which of us??" "Both of you"

• PLAY DEDUCTIONS WITH YOUR BROTHER MYC

• Sherlock straight in there with the gender equality

• Sherlock: Icelandic sheep wool bitch

Mrs Hudson: ah yes, because the world need a blog on that -_-

• THE CURLS ARE AT A PEAK GUYS

• "I'm not lonely": yes you are stfu

• I love the wink to Mrs Hudson :)

• Mrs Hudson really wants her boys back lol

• Loving the use of transitions to show how much of a dick John is being to Sherlock lol

• "Have dinner?" "Solve crimes?"

• Molly knows she's replacing John really

• "Weight loss, hair dye, botox, affair, lawyer. Next!"

• Sherlock is so gentle with the poor woman :)

• I LOVE THE OLD GUY SO MUCH LOL

• John is so fucking convinced he's right, but it's kinda sad that he doesn't think Sherlock will respect his personal space (because he never has before): JOHN SUBCONSCIOUSLY WANTS SHERLOCK THERE

• Can we just agree that Sherlock is such a sweetie and that it is heartbreaking that John is now his awful internal monologue because he's convinced he hates him after how he reacted once he returned?

• Lestrade just being a concerned dad in the background

• Molly and Lestrade are both just so spooked out

• *dramatically blows dust off book*

• HE WANTS JOHN BACK SO BAD awwwwwwwwwwwwww

• Quick aside, but I have a friend who is a train fanatic (he's coming to prom on a steam thingy) and the train dude reminds me of him lol

• WE LOVE A LIL BIT OF MIND PALACE WORK

• "Excuse you": JOHN YOU SASSY QUEEN

• John: Makin' my way downtown, walkin' fast, getting kidnapped and I fall down

• "Did you get him off a murder charge" "Nope helped him put up some shelves"

• "Do you fancy chips?": HANG ON A MOMENT. In S4E2 Sherlock states that "You're suicidal you're allowed chips. Trust me I should know". Does that mean..... oh Jesus, Sherlock, you little sweetie, you need to talk to someone

• ON PRINCIPLE I HATE SHERLOLLY BUT IT'S ALSO SO SWEEEEEEEEEEET

• *when you wake up after a night out and you don't know where the fuck you are*

• Sherlock is just immediately alert like: wtf is wrong with my John

• The chips just... don't matter, okay

• When you steal a motorbike to help your bff

• I'M SORRY BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE LIKE A 16 YEAR OLD SHERLOCK ROARING AROUND SUSSEX ON HIS LITTLE MOPED AND HIS MOTHER YELLING AT HIM FROM DOWN THE ROAD TELLING HIM SHE'S GOING TO KILL HIM IF HE DOESN'T GET HOME RIGHT NOW XD

• Ngl having the little kid right at the front is real creepy

• But like can you imagine Sherlock and John going to bonfire nights with Rosie when she's a bit older and both of them being dead tense as they watch the bonfire being lit?

• LISTEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER BITCH

• The fact Sherlock figures it out JUST as the bonfire lights up: PERFECT

• Sherlock, with a complete disregard for his own safety: *jumps into a fire and drags John out before tearfully begging him to be okay*

Hetero shippers: ah yes, what a good male friendship

• I LOVE THE HOLMES PARENTS SO MUCH

• I love Sherlock's face lol: he is SO done

• Sherlock totally resembles his mother in terms of personality

• I think the fact this is Benedict's parents makes that scene a million times better: do you think that's how he wants to act during the small talk sometimes XD

• Mr Holmes just looks so Done, and Mrs Holmes is just like "fuck it I'm used to this"

• "She worries!": well of course she bloody does, one son is the British Government, the other is a recovering drug addict who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high and her daughter is locked up in a secret facility

• "Promise?" "...promise": HE LOVES HIS MUM AND DAD REALLY

• Tbf John, you couldn't expect the poor guy to lead his parents on like that, really

• John stop making bad puns

• "Is it to get to you through me?": JOHN KNOWS WHAT'S UP

• Awwwwww he's got his John back and he's just so happy

• Aw c'mon, you've gotta admit that a bit of Sherlock's massive concern is for his brother being in parliament that night

• I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T HELP THINKING OF THE PARENTLOCK EDIT OF THE FACETIME BIT

• "Illegal!" "A bit": yeah, like this is anything new tho John XD

• "I don't understand" "well that's a first": JOHN LIVES ARE AT STAKE STOP BEING A SASSY BITCH

• *sudden flashback to the great game and the painting*

• I actually love the scene in the train carriage so much, because even though it ends up with Sherlock being a little bastard to get John to admit his feelings, I like how it demonstrates that everyone expects Sherlock to know everything all the time, and that's a very unrealistic expectation: despite the fact he hates it, he is only human, and I think this scene nicely acknowledges that

• Two bros, chilling in a tube train, trying not to freak out cos they might die!

• Sherlock: ooooopppsss, John, might have just set off this fucking bomb :/

• "Mind palace!"

• "You think I've just got how to diffuse a bomb tucked away in there!?" "YES!" "...maybe"

• Sherlock may be a little bitch but you have to admit he's a bloody good actor

• John, the whole way through the tube scene: wtf wtf wtf wtf

• "I wanted you not to be dead!" "Well, be careful what you wish for": Sherlock, sweetie, it almost sounds like you wish you were dead.....

• AWWW HE FORGIVES HIM GUYS

• I wanna know what that information Mycroft gave Moriarty was

• "His death wish": yeah, let's be honest Moriarty was just like "I crave heckety heck death"

• How difficult do you thunk Sherlock found it up on that roof, having to tell John all of that??

• You've gotta admit that it was a pretty good plan

• You can bet that all the conspiracy theories were on Anderson's wall XD

• THE GIGGLING JESUS

• "You COCK"

• "You said such nice things, I never knew you cared :)"

• "I will kill you if you EVER-" "scouts honour" "BREATHE A WORD OF THIS ANYONE"

• "Terrorists can get into a lot of trouble if they don't have an off switch"

• "Oh please, killing me. That was so 2 years ago": WE STAN

• Mycroft is just so desperate to get out of Les Mis: "but the pain. The HORROR"

• Lestrade just seems a little disappointed

• John tryna act surprised at Tom XD

• SHERLOCK'S FACE (the memeeeessss lol)

• WE STAN OUR TWO FAVE BOYS TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS

• Sherlock is just so determined

• Sherlock: oh yeah heard your graveside speech btw, super sweet

• YES THE HAT BITCHES: OUR FAVOURITE DETECTIVE IS BACK

• OOOO CREEPY MAGNUSSEN NUGGET AT THE END THERE

#sherlocks3 #sherlock #s3ep1 the empty hearse #wtf brain #brain dump

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blackcatanna · 5 years

Text

Okita's Route Part 2: Still on Kyoto Winds because I didn't realise that I'd ramble so much

Predictably, I'm enjoying Okita's route a lot more than Kazama's. Also, I'm skipping a lot less than when I played Kazama and Iba's routes, which makes a lot of sense because Okita is actually in the Shinsengumi and, therefore, gets a lot of screen time. So far, he acts like an asshole but this isn't backed up by his actions. Apart from the casual child cruelty X_X

Chapter, uh, 3? I think...

I feel like Hijikata sticking up for Sanan is just making things worse X_X . Saying that he's not useless because he's a swordsman is just plain wrong. It makes it seem like he's just saying it out of pity. I'm sure that Sanan has plenty to contribute, besides slicing people up.

"Sanan is quite the beloved member here, isn't he? It's nice to see such a tight-knit group." -_- Itou is such a master of shade. Gently implying that they only keep Sanan around because of their relationship. You evil bitch X_X

"Ugh, who brought those bastards into the Shinsengumi?" RIGHT?! Glad to see that Okita's not blindly following Kondou's lead here.

"He is easily deceived by silver tongues, those who appear virtuous... but are real scumbags." As the great Roisin Conaty once said: "Charming is just lube for evil." However, this is kind of backing up what those asshole kids were saying earlier about Kondou being an idiot X_X

SNOOP SNOOP 👀

AH! OKITA CAUGHT ME TALKING TO MYSELF! AGAIN X_X

"Trying to run away behind our backs." -_- You know that's not true.

"Heh, I'm just messing with you." No shit. "I mean, unless you were escaping, then I'll slit your throat." -_- You just couldn't resist the opportunity to throw out another casual death threat, could you?

Is he worried about my safety? I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO BE FLIPPANT BUT I SEE THROUGH YOU.

"Good girl." -_-

"It sounded like something out of a fairy tale." Oooooooooh hooooooneeeey... Have you not been paying attention?!

Welp, Okita told me to scream so... AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Oh, apparently, not that... OKITAAAAA! Bet he loved that.

"Aaaaaaaaaaagh!" Everyone, please stop screaming.

Ngl, Sanan looks good with white hair.

Apparently, Okita likes hearing me screaming his name... Good to know...

"Don't worry your little head. It would be my pleasure to help you die." O_O ... Isn't that a little hasty!?!

"You're not serious, are you?" HONEY X_X

"It's really annoying, you know. You think you're part of the Shinsengumi?" </3 Ouch X_X You're the ones who took me prisoner, y'know? However, Chizuru does often act like she's the only one who cares about the Shinsengumi members, which must be annoying af.

"We only keep you alive because you're useful. You are NOT one of us." Uh... Thanks for calling me useful? But is that seriously your attitude? Anyone who's not useful to you should just die? -_-

"His words shattered my already breaking heart." Aw! </3 Poor Chizuru bae!

"Seriously... You can really be a pain, you know that?" RIGHT. BACK. AT. YOU.

"It'd be easier to just kill you," Broken record much?

"Had their last thoughts as men been hope they might survive the madness? It sounded horrible..." YUUUP.

"Sano! Make something up!" Definite DnD vibes again! When you make the low charisma character roll deception X_X

"You're a miserable actor. Keep your mouth shut." I'm sure that this exchange won't seem suspect at all X_X

"Oh, Sanan... Who cares what you are? You're alive!" Bless Kondou's pure and simple heart :')

"Yukimura, you go back to your room. I know you didn't sleep much." Why am I the only person in this game who requires sleep? -_- Just a trend I've noticed...

"*Cough* *Cough*" O_O OKITA, ARE YOU OKAY!??? O_O

"You owe us a lil' booze! Or maybe even, heh, a little... company?" WHERE'S OKITA'S MURDEROUS INSTINCT WHEN YOU NEED IT!?!?

"Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm." BWOOOOOOAAAARP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM!!!

"Calm down, kid." ... NO. I HAVEN'T BEEN TOUCHED IN MONTHS.

"Hey hey hey! Looks like she's got the hots for you, Souji!" Oh Heisuke X_X

"No matter what, I won't buy Ishida Medical Powder." XD Got to admire Okita for staying true to his convictions :')

"I'm using the hell out of you" O_o Calm down, Hijikata X_X

Guess I'm going to have to put stalking Okita on hold for now...

Harada and Shiranui should just kiss already.

""Huh? Chizuru?" Okita looked up from cleaning his sword as I entered the hall." OH, HE WAS POLISHING HIS SWORD, EH? ;P YES, I AM TWELVE. Tbf, his face really does look like he's been caught in the act...

"Oh shut up, will you? It's all your fault. The medicine you gave me totally doesn't w..." >:( I'm hoping that the reason that sentence trails off is because I give him a verbal smack down!!

"*Cough* *Cough*" O_O WELL, I GUESS NOW I CAN'T CALL HIM A CUNT!

BLOOD O_O

"It's nothing." ... BOI!!

This game is totally a forcing-stubborn-men-to-rest simulator X_X

"I'd been given instructions to stay away" from the physical examinations but ho's gotta ho', amirite?!

"Oh my... So you WANT to see those savages? What peculiar taste..." Itou, don't call me out like this. Although, I still feel like we should respect their privacy X_X

"Oh! Oh..." ALRIGHT, YOU THIRSTY BITCH, CALM DOWN.

*Camera zooms in on Nagakura's tiddies* -_-

"Your body's fine, Shin." - Heisuke.

"Don't you wanna order a slice of this beef cake? I got two meaty servings on a plate, right here." Aaaaaagh! X_X My eeeeyyyeees.... Can't... un-read... sentence... please... fetch.... brain... bleach...

"A medical exam is for finding problems, not showing off. Now move." PREACH, SAITO!!!

"I feel like it's rude to intrude..." AND YET HERE WE ARE X_X

"It grants immortality" ??? Except for the part where you turn to ash???

"You're forcing your body in ways the eyes can't see." LISTEN TO THE DOCTOR, GUYS!!!

Everyone's just... RIPPING Takeda to shreds XD

"I'm scared shitless, believe me." :'( Poor Okita

No smart comments here... this is just really sad :'(

He's seen me? It's been nice knowing y'all...

Finally, Chizuru calls out Okita for threatening to kill her so much.

"Desist, you hooligans!" Sen is such a Queen! I want a Sen route!

Chizuru and Sen standing up to these arseholes is giving me LIFE! :') PREACH, GIRLS, PREACH!!!

"What were you going to do if they hurt you gravely?" Regenerate, biatch! >:)

"C'mon, was she that pretty?" UM, YES. But I think that she gives off too much of a domme vibe to be Okita's type :P

Chizuru is getting VERY distracted by Okita's hair. You know those scenes in movies where the woman takes down her hair and it's all slow motion and super sexy? This series has a lot of that. Plus when they get their Western makeovers :')

"That's funny... You don't LOOK like an especially nosy, hand-wringing version of my mother." XD I mean, -_- That totally wasn't hilarious.

"I grabbed his towel and began to scrub his head." ... We totally are his mother X_X

"I feel like I remember a time when you were nice and quiet..." NOT ANYMORE, BITCH! AND NOW, I'M ARMED WITH A TOWEL >:)

"You're really good with your hands." O_o ... What?

"You tied your hair up so quickly..." Why don't you show me what else you can do with them? ;)

Now he wants to know what I think of his hair? :/

OMG, HE'S TRYING TO COPY KONDOU'S HAIR XD I HAVE NO WORDS (for once)

Oh, you're surprised that I kept my promise? I'll have you know that I am an honourable woman, good sir! >:/

But Chizuru's claiming to only have done it out of fear of being sliced and diced? :/Uh, sure?

Chapter 4:

"They're small potatoes." This game has some excellent phrases in it X_X

Itou wanting to change the Shinsengumi uniform because it's not "fashionable" enough is the kind of genius that I'd expect from this game's most relatable character :') Although, I personally think that the blue uniforms are pretty <3

Awe, Chizuru thinks that Okita's joking about killing Itou :')

Kaoru just VERY BLATANTLY giving away that he was involved in the notice board incident X_X

:O I'm slightly jealous to discover that Okita's casual death threats aren't just reserved for me!

I get the sense that Okita knows that Kaoru's a boy but I'm sure that it wouldn't stop him if Kaoru was really a girl. Hooray for gender equality!

"I felt embarrassed for even doubting her for a second," O_e SERIOUSLY??!??

We're just going to let him go now!?!

Now Okita's having a coughing fit D: It was so stupid to run off and make him come after us :(

"What if she had accomplices nearby" GOOD. POINT. Chizuru would be so easy to lure into a trap X_X

"Without me around, you're just a useless kid." But I have a great personality! So, together, we almost make one complete, functioning adult :)

"Stop being so timid." I wish that I had that power :'(

"You can rely on us when you need to." Aweee! ^_^

"even compared to the weakest Shinsengumi foot soldier, I was pathetic." HEY. STOP THAT. WHAT DID I SAY? GREAT. PERSONALITY.

"Did you need something?" "Blood." O_O AH. Well, at least he doesn't beat about the bush! O_O

"What the hell? That's a little cold of you, having that pass for a good-bye, isn't it?" YEAH! :'( MIKI IS RIGHT! </3 :(

"Saburo. Watch your mouth." I'm sure that Miki is sad when Itou dies but 90% of their interactions are Itou telling Miki to shut up. X_X

"Is... Is that okay?" NO. IT IS NOT OKAY. SAITO AND HEISUKE ARE LEAVING, ALONG WITH LITTLE PIECES OF MY HEART. D'X

"would that mean I could never see them again?" *sobs*

"We're going to keep relations amicable between our two organisations." AHAHAHAHAHA HA.

"Okita...?" "... Hm? Damn." Uh, nice to see you, too?

"Next time we run into 'em, we'll probably have to kill each other." O_O Don't be so flippant, you ass :'(

"Swords don't think" damn, I didn't realise that you were sword-kin. Everyone thinks and has feelings. I'm sure that no power could convince Okita to kill Kondou.

"Takeda also left" and not one single fuck was given. :')

Just going to ignore Okita making fun of my "bed head" -_-

"I've come to take you" orly? ;)

"Look, lady, you're not part of the Shinsengumi, so I'd appreciate it if you could keep your nose out of our business." So, now that it's convenient for you, I'm part of the Shinsengumi? -_- I still haven't forgotten what you said before, asshole >:( Remember? HEART = BROKEN.

Sen knows that I'm a SLUT ^_^

"I can't tell if you have guts, or if you've got rocks for brains..." It must be the latter if I'm staying because of you XP

*Terrible decision immediately has lethal consequences*

LEMME GO! >:(

See Kazama post for my COLOURFUL feelings on this cunt >:(

Kondou can be so badass when he wants to be :')

Why... Hello there ;)

"Gotta admit, I didn't figure you for this type of girl." Then you haven't been paying attention ;P

Oh yeah: BWWWWWAAAAAAAARRRRP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM!!! And then some X_X

"Didn't think I'd be getting pushed down into bed tonight, least of all by you." Oh yeah? Who else did you have in mind? Kondou? -_-

"Oh no! No no no!" Chizuru, we know you're thirsty and it's okay! Embrace the thot within! :')

"Tell me... How is it? On top of me. Does it feel good?" PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE SAY YES!

"I hadn't realised I was still on top of him." Uh-huh. Sure. And what a terrible shame that was.

"If I go out, Kondou will get mad at me." And then no more bum fun :( (me@me: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!??! me: XD Sorry)

"Okita's eyes shone with admiration for Kondou." X_X The fanfiction writes itself...

Just to be clear, I think it's pretty gross to ship people with their guardians, even if they're both adults at the time, because that's called GROOMING.

"He isn't going to need the Water of Life. I'll make sure of that." ... How, Hijikata?! He's literally DYING of tuberculosis!

And now he's not eating :'(

"I just don't want to. Is that really a problem?" Yes, because you'll starve to death.

"Hm, you are a doctor's daughter... Maybe you just can't leave a sick guy alone?" Or maybe I just don't want YOU to die, ass >:'(

I WILL MAKE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST EAT IT!!! Ooooooh! He's blushing :O

He doesn't like bitter stuff but wants me to put grated radish in his porridge? O_o Well, I'm glad that he's cooperating :D

"I'm only going to eat it if it's delicious." Well, if you don't like it, I'll try again! :D

"Don't think I've given up or something." Okay D': <3

EAT THE FOOD, OKITA >:D

"It makes me feel good..." Hooray ^_^

"Could you keep me company for a while?" :O Okey! :)

"What would I talk about?" HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND...

"He wasn't afraid to die," um, weren't you eavesdropping on his conversation with the doctor? -_-

"I want to help... But I'm getting weaker every day." Of course you do :'( This is more heartbreaking than him saying that you're not part of the Shinsengumi and just annoying DX

Maybe tell him that everybody likes having him around and that the Shinsengumi is where he belongs? Or, we could just leave him to wallow in misery... I guess that works, too X_X

"I couldn't see someone like Okita succumbing to a mere disease." ... Why, exactly? Is he supposed to fight it off with his sword or persuade it to fuck off with the force of his personality?

"He'll be fine. Right...?" NOOOPE.

SAITO 😍 I mean, uh, whatever... Totally not bothered at all...

WAIT, HOLD ON: SPY-TO. Yes, thank you. I am a genius :3

Finally murdering Itou for realskies! :')

I get that Hijikata and everyone are trying to look out for Okita but he's terminally ill. Keeping him out of the action is only going to keep him miserable until his inevitable demise. :'(

"Saito'll be here for a few days, so you'll have someone to play with." -_- Bit patronising, Hijikata X_X

Kazama being his usual, charming self X_X

Let's go find Okita and... Tell him to go back to bed? Okay...

What the fuck!?!! Kaoru!?!!

Do we ever get a decent explanation for why Kaoru was sent to live with some abusive fucks?

Kaoru... Why are you so short? I bet you were malnourished X_X

Okita's just watching this unfold, chomping on imaginary popcorn...

"Do you just plan to use her, like Kazama does?" O_o... I fucking hope not, because that would be INCEST!!!

"... No," OH, THANK GOD.

"What would you have done if I'd said yes?" Ugh, you said no already! Can we please move this conversation in a less incestuous direction X_X

"... No. You're free to take her." OKITA!!! HE'S MY BROTHER X_X Not that I'm expecting you to leap to my defense but this conversation is WEIRD as FUCK.

:O The Ochimizu! Is Kaoru trying to help Okita?! Misguidedly, but still.

"But... if their plan is to simply use my dear sister as some sort of demonic broodmare... I can't allow that to happen." ... Kaoru... :'O That's... Actually really sweet XO This is the first time that someone who claims to be part of my family has actually looked out for me :')

Oh, so Kaoru wants to use Okita to protect me from Kazama! I have a feeling that he's going to be disappointed if he thinks that Okita will do what he tells him to but I appreciate the gesture :')

"Please don't do anything that would hurt Kondou so, Okita." Ugh, even as he lies dying, he's supposed to be worrying about upsetting other people? >:(

"Okita the Fury; Okita the beast." X_X Bit harsh but okay.

"He had traded away his soul." Um, since when? XD

"Happy now, Kaoru Naguno?" "Yes I am." ... Fair.

"... For falling into my trap." Wait, what?!? O_O

"I'm happy I got to make my sister suffer." Kaoru, why? D': WE COULD HAVE HAD IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAALLL!!! DX

I'm glad that Kaoru did away with the Nagumo fuckers >:( But still, why take it out on me?!

Even dressed as a boy, Kaoru still looks prettier than Chizuru...

*Sigh* looks like I'm being choked, as usual X_X

I feel like Kaoru could easily have given Okita something much worse than the Ochimizu if he REALLY wanted to make me suffer.

"I'd run out of things to say." X_X Again?!

"This was my decision and I don't regret it." That is good to know :)

"You shouldn't get involved with a guy like me." Oh, here we go X_X

"That came out of nowhere," Too right!

"No" uh, does that mean "no, I won't get involved with you" or "no, I won't do as you say"???

Uh, is he crying?! "Hey! You can't just act like you're sick when you want something!" XD What the actual fuck is happening right now???

"I'm dead" ... Uh... Really? Because... You seem very much alive...

"I don't think Kondou wants you around just because he wants you to do things for him." FINALLY, some sense!

Aaaand, apparently, it's earned me The Unblinking Stare of Doom >:(

"Do you mind not trying to speak for Kondou." Do you mind not assuming that he's so much of an asshole that he'd kick you out just because you're inactive during the day?! >:(

"It's not like you're capable of knowing exactly how Kondou truly feels." YES, YUKIMURA!!! GET HIM!! >:D

"Do you think Kondou would still need me... Even if I can't hold a sword anymore?" YES.

"You're right." I know :3

"I'm just jealous of you, Okita, that you have someone like Kondou by your side." Yeah. >:'( Fuck you, Kaoru, fuck you, Kodo :'(

"Oh yeah, huh... I totally forgot." Ffs, Okita XD

"They just happened to be there when you were born, you know?" Yeah! >:( And they can all go to hell!

"Somehow, my chin had acquired something of an arrogant tilt" yaaaas! You live your best life, girl! Let go of the haters, cut out the negativity! Stick it to 'em!

Chapter 5:

"How dangerous could foreign weapons be?" Oh, my sweet, Summer Sanan X_X

"Why are you going on night rounds with us?" ... Wait, what?! Why am I going on night rounds?

AS IF putting myself in danger is going to help Okita in any way X_X

DAMN, KONDOU... Nice, uh, blood you're accessorising with, there. O_O MEDIC!!!

"Lucky for us, they're idiots." Hooraaaay!

Okita's not going to be happy when he sees this...

Speak of the devil...

HIJIKATA, STOP BEATING ABOUT THE BUSH.

"I thought for a moment that Okita was going to grab Hijikata and shake him." :O :D Please yes!

Okita is suuuuuper keen to blame Hijikata for this -_-

"If he dies, it's your ass in the fire, Hijikata." Another excellent image but this pointless conversation has gone on for too long X_X

"I will find you, no matter where you may be, and I will kill you." O_O OKITA!! I THOUGHT THAT YOU SAID YOU WERE CALM!!! Bloody hell X_X

Oh no... What has Okita done now X_X

Killing spree, mad science, aggressive interrogation, Hijikata murder? The possibilities are endless with this stabby boi.

Where exactly am I running to? "I had finally found him." HOW?! With the power of love?! O_o

Looks like "Killing spree" it is X_X

"I'm about to murder you." Ffs Souji X_X

"I'm just doing my job." OH YEAH?!? THEN WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO GO BEHIND EVERYONE'S BACKS, HUH?!

"What's wrong with me doing what I'm doing?" Yeah, what's wrong with sadistically slaughtering a bunch of virtually defenceless men as they attempt to retreat?! -_-

"I just killed people, no matter who it was, as long as it was what Kondou wanted." *Sigh* Kondou's not going to be around for ever, you know? X_X Maybe TRY think about why your doing what you're doing. Maybe learn from Kondou's example?

"Do not ever act out and worry the chief like that again." XD You tell him, Saito!

"Idiots." XD Hijikata

"I didn't wake up until evening had arrived." Oh look, it's me :)

OH, FUCK. That looked like a Kaoru silhouette :O

Why do they keep saying that Kaoru "tricked" Okita into drinking the Water of Life?! Kaoru offered it and Okita drank it. No trickery here!

"They wanted to avenge Itou. You remember him? The man you deceived and murdered?" XD Can't argue with that :')

"shoot the weaker target first." UGH. Why do I always get SHOT!?!

"Call me what you want." Oh, I intend to 3:)

Omg, I didn't get shot! :O BECAUSE OKITA USED HIMSELF AS A HUMAN SHIELD O_O ... BUT WHY?!??

NO, DON'T CHECK UP ON ME! WE NEED TO MOVE BEFORE WE GET SHOT AT AGAIN!!!

Oh no! O_O Doesn't look like he'll be moving any time soon O_O

"Okita! Okitaaaaa!" O_O

"It kills me to see you hurt, just as much as it kills you to see Kondou hurt!" O: <3 :'(

"What an idiot.. " No, Kaoru! You're the idiot! Because you will never be happy while you continue down this sadistic, evil path, wasting your own life trying to destroy someone else's and refusing to let go of your spiteful jealousy >:( At least Okita's risking his life for something good.

"The more despair and anger you feel, the more you look like me." ... Silver linings! :)

D: Did they use silver bullets?! :O

Wait, when did Yamazaki get wounded?! :O

Bless Hijikata for letting me stay with my crush XD

Final Chapter:

Yamazaki is fine :D Hooray!

"They need men, so we need to go now..." Uh... Then why aren't you dressed? X_X

"... I want you to remain calm as I tell you this." That is... NOT AN ENCOURAGING WAY TO START A CONVERSATION O_O

D': Inoue has fallen. :'( It hurts every time DX

Aw, he looks really sad :'( and no wonder...

"as soon as we arrive, I'm gonna swing my sword at anyone and everyone." Uh... That's the spirit X_X

ONWARDS TO EDO

#hakuoki #hakuouki #okita #okita souji #Kyoto Winds #salt #otome adventures

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: it's your turn to bust in & save me, you know Jimmy: cashing in that chip Janis: 🤔 what lesson you in and what teach you got first Jimmy: 🥖🧀🍷 Jimmy: bit of a clue Janis: you having a really boujee lunch without me Janis: rude Janis: especially after you ripped the piss for my 🍱 Jimmy: you & emojis! Jimmy: 🐸🐌 Jimmy: we getting anywhere? Janis: I know what lesson you in Janis: if I burst in there she might actually 💀 Janis: not starting the crime spree there Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she might not even hear you Jimmy: but don't tell your brother I'm making deaf jokes Janis: 😂 Janis: definitely will Janis: bitch about you in sign Janis: is it true she falls asleep during lessons or what? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🤞 today's one of 'em Janis: 'least you won't have to do any work Jimmy: soon as she's out so am I Jimmy: meet me Janis: do my best Janis: not got a geriatric teacher sadly Jimmy: you only walk out when you're 💔 then? Jimmy: hang on, I'll get Pete on the line to do his worst Janis: umm firstly, he would NEVER Janis: secondly, shut up Jimmy: it ain't my fault you put such flattering #content of me on the 'gram Jimmy: & got him all 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 you went out like that Janis: know you wanted everyone to see, slag Jimmy: you know me so well Jimmy: 💕 Janis: unfortunately Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: blasting that classic FM for you right now, don't worry Janis: might wake her up Janis: #childhoodbops Jimmy: how did she just hear me laugh Jimmy: she ain't heard nowt else Janis: saw the post too Janis: everyone 👀 you today, babe Jimmy: my new boy status star is fading, babe Jimmy: gotta keep my #appeal 🥇 Jimmy: so tah for the boost Janis: that was the deal Janis: or was it my #appeal Jimmy: all yours babe Jimmy: your appeal & my protection was basically the deal Janis: Blame your leg on someone else then Janis: or I'm 👎 and can't have that Jimmy: that was my own fault Jimmy: & that's not what I need you for Jimmy: Mia & co aren't coming to kneecap me Jimmy: 🐍 only Janis: 😂 Janis: doesn't she take french? Jimmy: do you wanna say hello? Janis: *bonjour Janis: but non Janis: maybe I will come and 👀 her Jimmy: I get it, you're over me Jimmy: bit rude but Jimmy: if I can't keep up, I can't keep up Janis: like she can Janis: one hair flip away from a heart attack Janis: jus' sayin', don't be taking her up on practicing oral thank you Jimmy: stop making me laugh Jimmy: she's looking at me right now like she wants to do target practice though 👍 Jimmy: 🥇 without being in the room, girl Janis: 💕 so real Jimmy: you coming to see me then? Janis: hmm Janis: tempting Janis: maybe Jimmy: go on Jimmy: I miss you Janis: I miss you too Janis: this lesson is so dry Jimmy: she's got us playing bingo so she'll 🥇 when she goes out later Jimmy: 💕👵 Jimmy: practice makes perfect, Ms Janis: love that for her Janis: reckon she'll believe it if I come tell her you're needed for something? Jimmy: I don't care if she does or not Jimmy: I need you for something Janis: yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: hang on then Janis: lemme convince this bitch Imma die if I don't go to the bathroom rn Jimmy: easy Janis: tbf easier for me Janis: want me to bleed all over your classroom babe or what Jimmy: just don't start a pregnancy rumor Jimmy: my dad would actually kill me Janis: eurgh Janis: don't Janis: everyone expects it anyway it's fucking rude Jimmy: this once I promise not to give the fans what they want Janis: 💕 Janis: good 🍀 getting past my watertight contraception boy Jimmy: challenge not accepted Jimmy: again only this once Janis: 👍 answer Jimmy: change the subject or get here faster 'cause not a turn on Jimmy: & I really wanna give you what you want & Mia what she don't Jimmy: 💕 Janis: I have to come in? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: was that not the plan? Jimmy: you asked me if she took french Janis: you think this is actually about Mia? Jimmy: it's about us Jimmy: but she's here, they all are Janis: poor boy Janis: have to sit up the front like a 🤓 to stay safe, yeah? Jimmy: you wish Jimmy: I'm at the back Jimmy: you only need one foot in the door Janis: I'm convinced you can stop Janis: also en route Jimmy: you know how hard it is for me to stop once I've got going Janis: shh Janis: we'll see won't we Jimmy: they'll see Jimmy: you'll feel it Janis: Boy Janis: exactly how much of a show do you wanna give here Janis: be careful Jimmy: if you wanna back out Jimmy: just turn around Jimmy: but I weren't gonna fuck you in front of 'em all Jimmy: I don't reckon the teacher's that blind yet Janis: shut up Janis: when have I ever Jimmy: first time for owt Jimmy: & it sounded like you were gonna Janis: nah Janis: what, like I'm scared of them Jimmy: I know you ain't Jimmy: been proven loads Janis: and I defs ain't scared of your teacher so Jimmy: come on then Janis: Bitch I'm walking Janis: was in the science block Jimmy: what kind of athlete Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: one that had a proper run yesterday Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: if you wanna get your head down, Ms will probably spoon you for a bit Janis: your type not mine Janis: but go off Janis: it's room 26, right? Jimmy: your type is dickheads & she is Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😂 sure Janis: dream threesome ain't happening, deal with it Jimmy: 💔 me Jimmy: worst girlfriend ever you Janis: I know Janis: get ready to be 😒 Janis: [comes in] Jimmy: [looks at her like well what are you gonna do] Janis: [sits down on his desk like you better kiss me right now boy Jimmy: [does & it's everything so get your phones out everyone] Janis: [obvs she's getting kicked out can decide if he does too] Jimmy: [he does too deal with it Ian] Janis: you know Janis: we don't have to go Janis: she ain't gonna check Jimmy: fuck it then Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: do you wanna leave leave or wait it out somewhere 'til next period Jimmy: I wanna leave but Jimmy: probably shouldn't Janis: yeah, my thoughts too Janis: if we don't show to seclusion, they ain't gonna know to tell him Janis: be 😇 the rest of the day, simple Jimmy: where now then? Janis: [genuine pondering] Janis: better walk and talk or we're gonna get busted Janis: gotta be an empty classroom or something Jimmy: we could just walk in the staff room like we belong Jimmy: all you need is ☕ breath Janis: 😂 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: you are so bad at being stealth Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you just like the attention then, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: [stops to kiss him some more just 'cos] Jimmy: you're Jimmy: not the worst girlfriend ever Janis: clawing it back Janis: 🏆💪 Jimmy: it's a start Janis: that's how it is Janis: okay Jimmy: [stops to kiss her even more just cos] Janis: damn Janis: please say you don't need a 🚬 first Jimmy: I need you Jimmy: I told you, I miss you Janis: okay then let's just go bathroom Janis: come on Jimmy: #sucharomantic Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [but kisses her again cos love & agreement] Janis: turn around if you wanna back out Janis: [blows a kiss and starts heading towards nearest] Jimmy: [shakes his head affectionately in like a piss off type way] Jimmy: when have I ever? Janis: [skip them there 'cos how long would it take you know the drill] Jimmy: [pulls her in like when they woohoo in a cupboard on sims lol] Janis: ['keen'] Jimmy: [kisses her to shut her up but also 'cause he is] Janis: missed you Jimmy: [whispers in her ear that he missed her too] Janis: [giving him hickeys you're welcome fans] Jimmy: you really Jimmy: have missed me, yeah Janis: [makes strained 'mhm' noise 'cos yeah] Jimmy: good Janis: I want Jimmy: [tilts her head up for eye contact so he can look at her like what & just generally be hot af] Janis: ['you'] Janis: what did you need, you said you needed me Jimmy: [a really good make out for a while because] Janis: [😍 but being like 👂🤫 'cos someone walked in] Jimmy: [starts kissing her neck & doing his own hickeys cos little shit like that even though he heard the person too] Janis: you're such a dickhead oh my God Jimmy: alright, I'll stop Jimmy: [but goes harder instead cos rude] Janis: I can't be held accountable for my actions if you don't Janis: fair warning Jimmy: are you gonna hit me or fuck me Jimmy: I can't tell Janis: [is 😒 face but also holding in a lol] Janis: you can find out if you really want Jimmy: [kisses her grumpy little face like always] Janis: [person leaves] Janis: thank God Janis: would have been disgusting if they were taking a shit Jimmy: 😂 Janis: not that into you Janis: sorry not sorry Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: poor baby Janis: [back at it again] Jimmy: we should just stay here Jimmy: til someone does take a shit anyway Janis: sexy Jimmy: it ain't my fault you brought me here Jimmy: I was #teamstaffroom Janis: 🙄 Janis: couldn't do this in the staffroom Janis: [saucy behaviour] Jimmy: we could Janis: I mean we could start Janis: but they're not all that zoned out they're gonna let us finish, like Jimmy: let's find out some time Janis: okay Janis: any other bright ideas for me, boy? Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: it's hard to think when you're this close to me Janis: we could get closer Jimmy: [pulls her closer & does some hickeys on the other side too cos enjoy fans] Janis: I'm gonna be covered Jimmy: do you want me to stop, for real Janis: [shakes head] Janis: never Janis: I want more Jimmy: [gives her more] Janis: [kicks the toilet seat down and sits him down] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you're really hot Janis: I just Janis: I've gotta Jimmy: do it Janis: [always on his lap girl] Jimmy: [kisses so he don't make all the noise already] Janis: you did promise Jimmy: [nods with all the eye contact how they do] Janis: we've got time Janis: we can just Jimmy: I don't care if we don't Jimmy: I'll make time for you Jimmy: any time Jimmy: loads of Janis: so cute Janis: [lots of kissing] Jimmy: it's you Jimmy: you're just Janis: show me Jimmy: [does obviously we know why we're here lads] Janis: [biting on his shoulder to be quiet 'cos difficile as the french would say] Jimmy: [but like that'd just make him wanna make more noise cos damn] Janis: [puts her hand over his mouth but in a lol shh you cutie way not a threatening one] Jimmy: [good timing cos someone comes in then haha] Janis: shit Janis: [lifts feet up so looks like just one person lol] Jimmy: just don't stop, alright Janis: what if they hear? Jimmy: what if they do Jimmy: they won't know it's us Jimmy: long as you don't scream my name Janis: [🙄] Janis: do my best, babe Jimmy: me too Jimmy: just don't remind me what yours is right now & we'll be 👍 Janis: oh shut up Janis: [goes harder 'cos that bitch like don't make it easy] Jimmy: oh Jimmy: shit Janis: you asked for that Jimmy: I want it Jimmy: I really Jimmy: fucking Janis: tell me Jimmy: I just Jimmy: I Janis: you want me to go slow like this Janis: is that right? Jimmy: baby Janis: Baby Jimmy: please Janis: [really goes for it 'cos duh soz whoever the fuck hope you don't interrupt] Jimmy: [is proving he can be stealth sometimes by not being loud af for once, well done boy] Janis: [again, not helpful, up in his ear telling him he's so good etc hush] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining whoever else is in there knowing what's up 100% and it's making me lol] Janis: Shit Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I know Janis: I really do wanna say it though Jimmy: just whisper to me Jimmy: it's alright Janis: maybe you're better at being quiet Janis: just this once Jimmy: what was it you said? I'm clawing it back Jimmy: after yesterday Jimmy: gotta show you I'm still 🥇 Janis: you are Janis: to me Janis: for me Jimmy: [has to kiss her for a while because EMOTIONS] Janis: you're such a good kisser do it again Jimmy: [keeps kissing her so much] Janis: I still don't know how you make all of it feel so Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: that's how Janis: [has to kiss him 'cos same bitch] Jimmy: [okay but hear me out what if the bell rings] Janis: [😣] Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: we have time Jimmy: you said Janis: you better think of a reason we're both late to maths then Janis: can't stay in here all period Jimmy: I want you to stay Jimmy: there's yours Jimmy: & I don't care Jimmy: that's mine Janis: You're Janis: [smiling appreciatively like] Janis: I love you Jimmy: show me Jimmy: then we'll go to maths Jimmy: maybe Janis: [does] Janis: feel it, baby? Jimmy: [tells her how much he does etc now that they are alone again] Janis: really gonna have to wear a skirt every day from now on Jimmy: are you mad about it? Janis: how could I be mad about this Janis: mad we can't just do this all day, sure Jimmy: we can Jimmy: who needs maths anyway Janis: teacher's a dick Janis: probably get sent straight out for being late Jimmy: good 'cause I ain't done any homework for him since I got here Jimmy: playing hard to get sir, soz Janis: [😂] Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: you should get sent out of every lesson for looking like that Jimmy: it's Janis: Sir probably isn't looking at me like you are Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: he better not be Jimmy: I'll knock him out Janis: not exactly competition is he, babe Jimmy: not the point Jimmy: you're my girlfriend Jimmy: [is doing the pulling her closer even though he can't thing again cos] Janis: [we know what it does when he says that] Jimmy: [is kissing her in a possessive manner excuse him] Janis: [living for it] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: I'm Janis: I can't hold on Jimmy: let go Jimmy: I want you to Janis: you want me to cum Jimmy: I'm telling you to Janis: [does 'cos damn] Jimmy: [also does in like no time cos how hot that'd shamelessly be] Janis: well Jimmy: [is sorting his clothes out but halfheartedly cos giving her full eye contact] Jimmy: well Janis: [can't stop looking at him even though she's all 😳 too] Jimmy: [reaches & takes her hair down cos I assume it's up for school & he's that bitch like we see you boy just wanting to touch it & her] Janis: really Janis: it isn't obvious enough you just fucked my brains out, you gonna mess up my hair too Jimmy: [is just like 😏] Janis: you're a dickhead Janis: and we're so late Janis: [starts actually adjusting herself] Jimmy: [actually runs his fingers through her hair so it looks like a mood & then kisses her but in like a let's do this kind of way not a let's stay here forever way] Jimmy: so come on Janis: [hand-holding] Jimmy: [showing up at class like oh hey] Janis: [people aren't even gonna be coy about it it's that obvious so the teacher gonna be casually fuming at this disruption, no sitting next to each other lads] Jimmy: [Grace wants to kill herself cos casually also there hey girl] Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: what's the general consensus then, are we gross or are we legends Janis: can only hear big mouth in my ear Jimmy: I'm a legend Jimmy: you're Janis: 👍 Janis: 'course I am Jimmy: I'll shut everyone up Jimmy: fuck this Janis: don't bother Janis: only make 'em worse Jimmy: but Janis: I don't care Jimmy: I know you don't Janis: plus sir is about to snap so now's probably not the time to show what a good boyfriend you are regardless Jimmy: I don't care about that dickhead Janis: do what you must Janis: but rise to it then it becomes a thing and they'll 100% get your Dad in and I'd rather not Jimmy: [is 😒 but doesn't do anything cos knows she's right] Janis: I hate everyone at this fucking School Jimmy: me too Jimmy: everyone in this town really Janis: yeah Janis: agreed Jimmy: [Grace gets herself excused from class cos can't hack it 👍 good stuff] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: agreed Janis: probably have the day off tomorrow too Janis: and I fucking can't Jimmy: we can skip Jimmy: if you want Janis: show them it got to me? Janis: don't think so Janis: not her Jimmy: show them we've got better things to do Jimmy: that's what our feed is for Janis: probably not Janis: enough scandal to be getting on with Jimmy: alright Janis: [actually doing her work] Jimmy: [isn't and is doodling blatantly instead] Janis: what're you drawing Jimmy: nowt decent Janis: not exactly best circumstances for inspiration to strike Janis: reckon you'll be forgiven Jimmy: what are you on about? Jimmy: got my muse right here Jimmy: been really inspiring she has Janis: 🙄 Janis: you don't want that rep Jimmy: what Janis: the weird anime kids that draw fucking not even soft really softcore all over their books Jimmy: this bunch of dickheads wish Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: not sure that's what they're dying to see from you Janis: 📷boy Jimmy: are you pissed off at me Janis: why would I be Jimmy: that's why I'm asking Jimmy: I don't know Janis: I ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: this lesson can go fuck itself though Jimmy: that's every lesson Janis: wish I could just quit sometimes Jimmy: #relatable Janis: 😒 Jimmy: I reckon I will though Jimmy: it's shitter here than my old school Janis: be alright if you had mates Janis: which assumedly you did Jimmy: yeah Janis: all schools are the same Janis: even posh ones Jimmy: didn't have to learn paddy lingo in my old one though Jimmy: such bollocks Jimmy: what am I gonna do with a month's worth of that Janis: make us all laugh with your attempts idk Janis: it's stupid Jimmy: if my interview goes alright & they gimme the job I could leave Janis: is that what you wanna do forever Jimmy: nah but it'll do for now Janis: you'll need some kind of school shit Jimmy: probably but that's to worry about in a bit Janis: your dad would never let you anyway so Jimmy: what's he gonna do, actually murder me? Janis: kick you out, probably Janis: part time barista ain't paying no rent Jimmy: not when he needs me to raise the other two he won't Jimmy: & I'd go full time if I didn't have school obviously Jimmy: much as they'd let me Janis: 🤷 Janis: whatever Jimmy: what's your issue? Jimmy: nowt's whatever with you Janis: what am I meant to say Janis: it ain't happening Janis: so Janis: it is whatever Janis: idk why we're even chatting about it Jimmy: see the future can you? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you can't just leave, they aren't even meant to hire you Janis: there's laws, you know Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: like I said Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: it ain't my fault everyone's chatting shit Jimmy: don't be a dickhead to me Janis: did I say it was Jimmy: stop acting like it is Jimmy: it don't matter what you say Janis: then why are we talking Jimmy: right now I don't know Janis: #relatable Jimmy: piss off Janis: only funny when you say it? Jimmy: it weren't funny then Janis: not particularly Janis: no Jimmy: just leave it out Jimmy: you've been a dickhead since we came in Janis: couldn't exactly carry on as we were so Janis: what do you expect me to do Jimmy: yeah we could've Jimmy: & I expect you to not treat me like I'm one of 'em Janis: [is 'working'] Jimmy: bollocks are you gonna ignore me now Janis: what Janis: I'm trying to focus so I don't have to focus on them, if you don't mind Jimmy: well I do mind Janis: well what then Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: what did you think would Janis: I told you I don't care Jimmy: & I've told you loads that you're shit at pretending Janis: No I'm not Jimmy: you are Janis: nope Jimmy: stop Janis: why Janis: you wanted to talk now you don't Janis: make up your mind Jimmy: make up your mind Janis: I know my mind thank you very much Jimmy: then stop chatting shit & tell me what's on it Janis: seriously nothing but this worksheet Janis: they're just being loud that's all that's annoying about it Jimmy: [crumples up his worksheet & throws it from his seat to land in the bin cos over it] Jimmy: 👌👍 Janis: alright showoff Jimmy: [doesn't reply cos the teacher is having a word like] Janis: absolute joke Jimmy: it's on the CV for all teachers that Janis: 😒 Janis: it's bullshit Jimmy: #relatable Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: reckon it might get funnier each time I do it Jimmy: worth a go Janis: what else are you doing Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: thinking about going for a 🚬 Jimmy: you coming? Janis: you know that ain't happening Jimmy: you ain't gotta come with but Janis: you're alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [gets up & the teacher's like UM EXCUSE YOU & he's like 'I'm going for a 🚬 sir, you fancy it?' & off he struts oh boy no] Janis: thanks a lot Jimmy: you were invited Jimmy: can't do nowt more Janis: no 'cos you get to be a legend again and I'm stuck here getting shouted at on your behalf like it's anything to do with me Jimmy: like you said, it's bullshit Janis: like I said, thanks Jimmy: like I said, in a bit then Janis: prick Jimmy: you wanna blame me anyway Jimmy: now you can Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: oh fuck off Jimmy: bit late Jimmy: I'm off Janis: shut up Jimmy: you can't make me from there Jimmy: always telling you Janis: you are infuriating Jimmy: you are Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: this is just fucking stupid Jimmy: stop then Jimmy: focus on your work Janis: don't be patronizing Jimmy: It's what you said you wanted Jimmy: so do it Janis: I said that's what I was doing not what I wanted Janis: we all wanna just walk away but you can't Janis: you're as bad as her Janis: not talking about either of you negatively are they Janis: no Janis: but you two pussy out and I'm still sat here Jimmy: I ain't her & it ain't my fault she did what she did Jimmy: any of it Janis: don't matter Janis: ain't here either are you Jimmy: you shut me out ages before I left Jimmy: so nah, I ain't Jimmy: 'cause you know who else does that, if we're making bollocks comparisons Janis: what are you even talking about Jimmy: like you said, don't matter Janis: why bother saying it then Janis: go on Jimmy: why bother saying owt Jimmy: this whole lesson Janis: 'cos I wanted to talk to you, fucking hell Janis: excuse me for being in a bad mood when literally everyone is chatting shit to my face Jimmy: but you don't care, yeah Janis: I don't care but that doesn't mean I don't wanna shut them up, like I said, it's noise I don't need Jimmy: I said I'd shut 'em up Janis: yeah and you end up looking great again, you can't lose Janis: whatever the fuck you do Janis: I can't win Janis: end of Jimmy: I'm not in a fucking competition against you Jimmy: I wanna help you Janis: I don't need help Jimmy: then what do you care if I'm there or not Jimmy: fuck Janis: forget it Jimmy: you forget it Jimmy: you say I can't lose like I give a shit about any of those dickheads Jimmy: you ask me if it's about Mia when it's literally always been Jimmy: my dad is gonna kick off whatever I do Jimmy: that's the end of Jimmy: for me Janis: it wasn't my idea Jimmy: like I said, go on & blame me Jimmy: whatever Janis: I'm saying I'm not trying to get you in trouble with your Dad so don't say it like I am when I'm literally trying to do the opposite and stop you from getting in more trouble Janis: why did you think I didn't wanna come, for fuck's sake Jimmy: & I'm saying I could be a perfect angel & it wouldn't change owt 'cause there's always something with him Jimmy: it's never gonna be enough Jimmy: or about you Janis: I ain't saying it's about me Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: save it for your worksheet Jimmy: riveting stuff that Janis: finished Janis: weren't that hard Janis: should've just done it Jimmy: get it out the bin for me if you're that 💔 Janis: 🖕 funny Jimmy: I'm serious, nerd Janis: you're so mean Jimmy: you still take 🥇 though, it's alright Janis: piss off Jimmy: again, I'm serious Jimmy: brutal you Janis: No you ain't Janis: you're never serious Jimmy: bollocks am I not Janis: name a time Jimmy: I'm serious about you all the time Janis: ew Janis: gay Jimmy: only for 👴 & a certain barista 💕 Janis: always good to keep track Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: who else you straight gay for then Jimmy: that keeps my 🍽 full Janis: 👍 Jimmy: why you gonna set me up or what? Janis: obviously not Janis: I said Janis: keeping track of it all Jimmy: alright nerd, calm down Janis: 🖕 hilarious Jimmy: yeah should've tweeted it Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: got plenty of time Janis: doesn't take that long to finish a 🚬 Jimmy: if you're only having 1 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't think so Janis: not with that mouth Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I am, apparently Jimmy: & you're also a bit late but Janis: ? Jimmy: there's nowhere my mouth ain't been on you by now, babe Janis: I meant now after however many you've just had and you know it, idiot Jimmy: you saying what you mean now? Janis: when was I not Jimmy: just keeping track Janis: 😑 Janis: stop being so annoying Jimmy: take your own advice, dickhead Janis: you're the dickhead Jimmy: it's you Janis: we aren't doing this again Jimmy: not if you shut up Janis: why should I shut up? Jimmy: 'cause you're the one being a dickhead Janis: I am not I'm trying to talk to you Jimmy: you're trying to chat shit to me Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: rude Jimmy: yeah well I've got a very inspiring muse so Janis: stop it Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what do you wanna say? Jimmy: what are you gonna? Janis: why do I have to have something Janis: we can't just talk now Janis: alright Jimmy: not when it's just bollocks Jimmy: really talk to me Janis: I'm trying Jimmy: go on Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I shouldn't have walked out Jimmy: but Janis: don't blame you Jimmy: you should Jimmy: that was me Janis: I don't blame you for wanting to Jimmy: I do Jimmy: I fucked up Janis: no Janis: why Jimmy: I left you in there Jimmy: that's not Janis: it isn't like there's anything you can do Janis: or need to do Jimmy: I'm not having that Jimmy: just accepting that they're all dickheads to you Jimmy: I'm not your sister Janis: well this ain't just me, it'd be the same if it was any other girl yeah Janis: it ain't personal Jimmy: what they are saying is Jimmy: loads of it Janis: well what do they know Jimmy: they don't know you Jimmy: but I do & I'm sorry I was a massive dickhead, alright Janis: me too Janis: it's fine, it's alright Jimmy: I really fucking hate this place Janis: I know Janis: I do too Jimmy: let's just leave Jimmy: you've done it before Jimmy: you know how to Janis: what about the kids Jimmy: there's nowt I can say to that Jimmy: am I meant to wait 10 more years until he's not a kid Janis: exactly Janis: it's shit Jimmy: I didn't ask for this Jimmy: I don't want it Jimmy: she got to just Jimmy: & Ian's doing what? Janis: Yep Janis: if you gave less of a shit you could but Janis: I know you do Jimmy: how do you do it? Janis: it's different Janis: no one needs me, remember Jimmy: but that's bollocks Jimmy: I've met 'em Jimmy: they do Janis: nah, my parents have got plenty of kids and my silblings have got plenty of siblings Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: I've seen they give a shit Jimmy: so how do you not? Janis: it's not real Jimmy: what Janis: they just fake it too Janis: obligation, isn't it Jimmy: wish my dad had some of that Jimmy: or my mum did Janis: seems like he has some Janis: with the kids Jimmy: maybe Janis: it's all bullshit anyway Janis: family Jimmy: yeah Janis: but kids are different so you have to care Janis: like you said, what's Ian doing Jimmy: buying us a dog we don't want to gimme more bullshit to take care of Jimmy: that's his lot Jimmy: oh and fucking his way to finding us a new mum, can't forget that one Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: must be nice Jimmy: if you're into fucking middle aged women, probably Janis: eurgh Jimmy: waiting to see who he's got his eye on at parent teacher night Janis: actually making me feel ill Jimmy: don't throw up Jimmy: you've disgraced yourself enough for one school day Janis: win Mia 'round Janis: my goal always, obviously Jimmy: borrow her toothbrush or whatever she's got stashed Jimmy: #bonding Janis: 👍 Jimmy: just warn me so I don't watch it on her story Jimmy: tah Janis: I think we're not meant to know so Janis: probably on the secret finsta if anything, you're fine Jimmy: 💔 #purgepals could've really taken off Janis: we're all gutted me and her will never be Jimmy: one day we'll find the shrine Jimmy: & I'll be ready 📷 Janis: thanks for the #expose Jimmy: any time Janis: I'm such an idiot Jimmy: ? Janis: this whole mess Janis: sir said he's gonna talk to our parents so Janis: that won't be mortifying at all, tah everyone Jimmy: It's my fault, baby Janis: they wouldn't stop either he was already way more annoyed than he was letting on Jimmy: yeah but I started it by making you come into french Jimmy: & making us late for maths then Janis: I wanted to too Janis: I shouldn't have, sure but not like you forced me Jimmy: what's he even gonna say Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: I don't fucking know Janis: probably that he's concerned or some shit Jimmy: buckle in Ian & get your belt off ready to kick off Jimmy: it'd be so much more decent if he used his anger on sir instead Jimmy: 🍿 Janis: right Janis: this is gonna be Janis: shit Jimmy: or if they fell in love 'cause of the blatant #nohomo fueling their rage but Janis: don't think you want two dickhead dads Janis: not the dream Jimmy: I don't want a new mum either Jimmy: given up wishing far as he goes Janis: tell him he ain't allowed a girlfriend if you ain't Janis: see how that goes down Jimmy: that's why you're 🥇 Janis: was it really such a bad thing to do Jimmy: depends who you're asking Janis: you Jimmy: you know what my answer is Janis: i mean Janis: would your ex do that, would other girls Jimmy: my ex has done worse & he's called Barry so Jimmy: probably don't hold her up as an example Janis: great Jimmy: other girls would & have Jimmy: they just aren't as #goals as us so nobody cares Janis: it's exhausting Jimmy: put your head on the desk, girl Jimmy: how much more trouble can we get in Janis: may as well go home at this point Jimmy: I might Jimmy: unless you tell me to stay Janis: not going to make you Jimmy: but what do you want Janis: it's complicated Janis: I don't want to stay but I have to Janis: you know I always want to be with you Jimmy: if you have to stay then I'm staying Jimmy: with you Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'm never sorry that I wanna be around you, alright Janis: yeah but sorry you have to be here still Jimmy: I'd do worse for you Jimmy: you know Janis: I know Janis: swear to God Janis: not always this much of a fucking trial Janis: well Janis: maybe Janis: idk Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: so I don't care Janis: Promise Jimmy: I do Janis: I love you too Jimmy: you can tell me again when the teachers are done keeping us apart Jimmy: & making us even more #goals Janis: you're probably getting sent to seclusion Janis: so I really don't mind if you go, I swear Jimmy: I said I won't Jimmy: & I meant it Janis: okay Janis: might get sent out too Janis: can't send all of them out, can they really Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: we should go out tonight Jimmy: wherever you want Janis: sounds good Janis: 'til we can run away, like Jimmy: your mum & dad ain't gonna ban me, are they? 'cause I reckon it's better if I follow your lead & don't go to mine Janis: lol they can try Janis: when you elope at 15 and have a kid at 16 not really got a leg to stand on parenting wise Janis: why we're all so fucked, obvs Jimmy: it's weird they've been together since then Janis: I know Janis: think, well know because they're gross, that they still got to fuck around or it'd be mental Jimmy: I ain't gonna marry you or have a kid with you no matter how much the fans want it Jimmy: will fuck around though 👍 Janis: 😂 Janis: no you fucking ain't Jimmy: my dad would put me in the ground seriously Jimmy: only gonna approve of the last bit Janis: as much as I ain't arsed by you Janis: wouldn't wanna see you dead, like 💕 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: say the nicest things you Janis: I know Janis: got a rep to maintain now Jimmy: I miss you Janis: Miss you too Jimmy: you gonna watch longingly as they drag me to seclusion then? Janis: obviously Janis: hold me back, sir Janis: really amp up the drama Jimmy: final kiss Jimmy: that'll make him a fan Janis: I wish Janis: I don't regret any of it, you know Jimmy: you don't have to wish Jimmy: like I said, how much more trouble can we get in Janis: this lesson is about to end so Janis: where are you Jimmy: I'll meet you on your way out Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Janis: #goals Janis: gonna carry my books like Jimmy: carry you out of this shithole more like Janis: would be Janis: alas Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: damn compulsory schooling Jimmy: who's fucking idea was that? Jimmy: leave me down a mine Janis: 😂 Janis: life expectancy be even shiter but you'd be looking 🔥 Jimmy: die how I've lived 💪😎 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: can you feel how close by I am? #realgoals Janis: again, I wish Janis: not soz everyone Jimmy: I can burst in now for one final show if you like Jimmy: I'm basically there Janis: fuck it Janis: make it worth our while Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: [is & is glorious fuck you everyone you ain't seen nothing til you've seen this good day] Janis: [let's say she gets sent home anyway and he has half-day in seclusion 'cos teachers are shit like that] Jimmy: [later cos no phone for Jimothy] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: where am I meeting you then? Janis: can you bring the dog and come park for a bit Janis: literally been stuck in my room all day 'cos she was here too Jimmy: alright, Juliet Jimmy: Cass might bring the boy too but Janis: s'alright Janis: don't hate him by default like you Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how many times did you wanna kill yourself then Jimmy: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: bout that many Jimmy: I thought about you loads though Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 Jimmy: that's my maths for the day like Janis: such a nerd Janis: hand that in and reckon you'll have redeemed yourself, babe Jimmy: back at 🥇 yeah Janis: not sure sir was ever that 😍 himself Janis: soz 💔 Janis: know he's your type and everything but Jimmy: why he's 🍋 bout you babe Jimmy: #goals for all not just the few Janis: you're cute, sure Janis: but not 🤓 enough for him Jimmy: I know Jimmy: just for you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shut up Janis: I'm #goals too don't be fooled Jimmy: I ain't ever been Janis: good Janis: my DMs have never been so active Janis: fucking sly Janis: where was this #support earlier lads Jimmy: as soon as I got my phone back I wanted to turn it back off Jimmy: lasses please calm yourselves Janis: people are so Janis: can't even think of a word Jimmy: I don't know how they can be like oh Jimmy I'd never do that she's so Jimmy: but do you wanna get with me though Jimmy: & do what girl? Jimmy: our homework Janis: if you got better ideas, where were you earlier Janis: 🙄 Janis: woulda done a twitter poll if I knew the engagement would be this good Jimmy: gutted I never 💔💔 Jimmy: & I got a lass in my inbox doing an anti smoking campaign Jimmy: not joking Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna save you in all the ways, boy Janis: 🍀 you Jimmy: bit late love but crack on Jimmy: she ain't even said I should put summat else in my mouth Jimmy: come on Jimmy: it's easy Janis: eww Janis: who is it Janis: gonna sniper message 'em all like I'VE SEEN THE MESSAGES HOES Janis: really #goals Janis: #wwmd #tbh Jimmy: paddy name & face Jimmy: actually can't read it Janis: could be anyone Jimmy: [sends her the deets cos that bitch] Jimmy: who the fuck is she Jimmy: never seen her before in me life Janis: oh her Janis: she's in my biology class Janis: dark horse Janis: more of a virgin than me Jimmy: is that my rep now? Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: not gonna go round giving 'em all a decent go over Janis: 😑 Janis: can you not Janis: that was not my rep Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: you got nowt to worry about Jimmy: you're Janis: don't worry, don't need to give me pillow talk Jimmy: don't need to but Janis: carry on if you're feeling it Janis: I'll be a while but am omw Jimmy: been feeling it since our #goodbye earlier Janis: yeah Janis: actually sad to see you go Janis: don't tell Jimmy: bit late Jimmy: already let the 🐶 know Jimmy: soz Janis: she's like yeah right Janis: know she misses me, boy Jimmy: 🥊 her for you Janis: so romantic, so manly and tough Jimmy: so #goals Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇 Janis: not gonna argue Janis: soz Twix Jimmy: she's 💔💔 Janis: she's goals too Janis: not sure who's got more fans but we don't need to go there Jimmy: it's you babe Jimmy: #1 Janis: you know exactly what to say to stroke my ego 💕 Jimmy: I'd have loads of time to think about it Jimmy: had* Jimmy: & I told you, my head's been full of you Janis: Me too, as it goes Janis: more privacy though, thankfully Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: they coulda gimme some of that tah Janis: poor baby Janis: probably thinking we'd had enough for one day Jimmy: but that's bollocks Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I want more Janis: Incouragable, you Janis: but I feel it Jimmy: you will Janis: Boy Jimmy: girl Janis: ugh Jimmy: what Janis: you Janis: you're Janis: well you know Jimmy: I know you are Jimmy: that's why I'm Janis: distracted Janis: that's what I am Jimmy: where though? Jimmy: if you're on the bus you know what to do Janis: 😳 Janis: I am Jimmy: is it the driver we know & love? Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: of course Janis: the universe just wants everyone to know today Jimmy: or wants you to feel better after all that shit Janis: very hippie of you Janis: don't think the universe gives a shit 'bout me, babe but you're cute Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: then I want you to Jimmy: busted Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: I've missed you Janis: loads Jimmy: yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: like you said Janis: when we said goodbye Janis: you were so Jimmy: you Jimmy: I forgot where we even were Janis: I know Janis: I coulda just Janis: don't even care Jimmy: you can do whatever you want now Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: not exactly what I want Janis: you're not here but Jimmy: when you get here though Jimmy: just let me know Janis: okay Jimmy: til then, we can make it work Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext cos throwback] Janis: Jesus Janis: you should sell those Janis: people would hire you Jimmy: put the word out for me Jimmy: put the word out for me, girl Jimmy: but not right now Janis: no Janis: I'm gonna just Janis: for now Jimmy: 💕 Janis: we can do whatever tonight, yeah? Jimmy: I said Jimmy: whatever you want Janis: whatever it is I just wanna be alone with you for a while Janis: how does it feel like forever ago now Jimmy: we can Jimmy: 'cause it was ages Janis: long fucking day right Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: thinking of taking up that girl on her 🚭 Jimmy: I'm 💀 Janis: no 😡 Janis: I'll help Jimmy: you offering to be my new addiction, baby Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 duh Janis: idiot Jimmy: always gotta be 🥇 Jimmy: not enough to just be a muse Janis: you know I want it all Janis: not interested in sharing Jimmy: you know I want you to take it all Jimmy: like you said, it's been forever Janis: I Janis: now I don't know if I want this bus to speed up or slow down 'cos I'm really really enjoying missing you Jimmy: you've had ages to miss me Jimmy: I want you here Janis: tell me how bad Jimmy: I don't have words for it Jimmy: just Jimmy: really really really badly Janis: works for me Janis: try and encourage him to step on it, like Jimmy: please Janis: oh Janis: one more time Janis: for my encouragement Jimmy: baby please Janis: okay Janis: you could get me to do anything I swear Janis: how Janis: why Jimmy: you love me Janis: I do Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: just like I did earlier Janis: you always do Janis: like I said, I should fucking hate you Jimmy: I hate you a bit Jimmy: it's alright Janis: show me Jimmy: okay Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: might let you win Jimmy: I'm gonna win Jimmy: you'll see Janis: what does winner get Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: so I'm winning now Janis: 😏 Janis: so cocky one second ago Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: IF you did, what are you having Janis: you, first off Janis: then I'll have to get inventive Janis: let you know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't think too hard 'cause I'll be 🥇 Janis: but it's fun Janis: you try Jimmy: you know I can't think when you're Jimmy: just Janis: think fast then Janis: 'fore I get there Jimmy: alright Janis: not against fighting dirty so Jimmy: 'course you ain't Jimmy: paddy rules is it Janis: dead honourable you Janis: 🙄 please Jimmy: you can get me to be if you keep saying that Jimmy: & owt else Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: baby Janis: how nice will you be? Jimmy: am I just getting the one please? Janis: have as many as you earn Janis: not just giving 'em away here Jimmy: there's your answer Jimmy: never backed off a challenge yet, have I? Janis: 🤔 Janis: trying to recall Jimmy: piss off Janis: just saying Janis: lots of challenges Jimmy: & I've done 'em Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'm not Janis: I'm remembering shh Janis: leave me to my memories 👵 Jimmy: stop trying to turn me on with your memory loss Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: know what you like baby Jimmy: prove it Janis: what do you think I've been doing this whole time Jimmy: what was it you said, I'm trying to recall Janis: you're such a dickhead Janis: keep my photographic evidence to myself then 👍 Jimmy: you can tweet it any time Jimmy: love a ban me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: oh yeah great idea, babe Janis: make myself even more popular Jimmy: that does gimme one though Jimmy: you should run my twitter for a bit Jimmy: how #goals that I trust you with all my passwords & access to my DMs Jimmy: the fans would be 😱😱😱 beside themselves Janis: 😏 how delusional that you trust me Janis: I'm down to make you regret it 😈 Jimmy: don't give a shit Jimmy: do your worst Janis: you're fun Janis: told you before Janis: also off the bus Janis: passing the CG 💔 Jimmy: gutted it's too late for me to carry you past Pete Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: trying to sneaky see if he's in there but the windows are tinted as fuck why Jimmy: #moodlighting Jimmy: makes him look sexy 💕 Janis: don't tempt me to carry on faking my amnesia Janis: walk in, pretend he's you Jimmy: your real goal this whole time Jimmy: I get it Janis: playing the long game Jimmy: if you'd said that was why you needed me to fuck you senseless I'd have gone harder like Jimmy: I know you're a romantic Jimmy: get your man, sweetheart Janis: 😍 Janis: that's what I get if I win Jimmy: Pete? Jimmy: 💔 but alright Janis: yep Janis: how confident are you REALLY, boy? Jimmy: confident my boy will stay loyal to me Jimmy: he don't want you, girl, soz Janis: 😣 Janis: hate you Janis: that's so mean Jimmy: I hate you more, baby 💕 Janis: go away Janis: I'm 💔 Jimmy: come here Jimmy: I'll fix it Janis: promises promises Jimmy: if I break it you can break my 💔 too Janis: swear it's a deal Jimmy: it's a deal, Juliet Janis: okay we still gotta shake on it but I'll keep walking, stop crying Jimmy: bit late Jimmy: but I'll dry my eyes Janis: 💕 Janis: he's such a homewrecker and he don't even know it Janis: write a song about that, babe Jimmy: he don't care either, too 😎 Janis: ugh, stop talking bout him Janis: so distracting, honestly Janis: bitch tryna walk here Jimmy: tell me about it, I'm around kids Jimmy: how dare he be such a god among rockstars Jimmy: 🤤🤤 Janis: that's a rep no one needs Janis: best behaviour Jimmy: 👌 Janis: one scandal at a time Jimmy: promises promises Janis: oh 'cos it was my idea Janis: mhmm Jimmy: your fault Jimmy: you're just so Janis: amazing? Janis: yeah Janis: true Jimmy: alright, yeah Jimmy: if you want Jimmy: dickhead Janis: you weren't finishing the sentence ever Janis: thought I would Janis: #goals init Jimmy: I'll finish it Jimmy: like I said, come here Janis: You better already be there Janis: coming into view and I'll be fuming if you leave me waiting Jimmy: I've been here ages Jimmy: you're the one who lives in the middle of fuck all Janis: I've asked for my own place Janis: not that rich, appaz 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell it to Pete's sympathetic ear over ☕ Janis: he isn't friendzoning me thank you very much Janis: we fucking or nothing Jimmy: get some patience then Jimmy: cause I saw him first Jimmy: keep saying it Janis: fine one to talk Jimmy: I've been here ages Jimmy: told you Janis: I see how it is Janis: will wait months for him Janis: I've got about half an hour and you're mardy Jimmy: he's #special remember Jimmy: you said it Janis: oh yeah and I am just a MASSIVE slag so Janis: fair 'nuff Jimmy: shut up Janis: whatever Janis: going shop Janis: want anything Jimmy: what happened to coming into view Janis: remembered I need something Janis: if that's alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that's you're all good then or what Jimmy: I don't need nowt Janis: k Jimmy: do you want me to walk over? Janis: can do Janis: only getting smokes though so Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [appears after longer than a sec but still not very long 'cause not far] Janis: [loitering in the shop, nods like sup] Jimmy: [gives a look as if to say what kind of greeting is that before going over & kissing her 'cause extra like that] Janis: [gives him a look like 'oh so you like me now?' 'cos drama queen] Jimmy: what's that look for Janis: 😒 Janis: be nice Jimmy: what's it for? Jimmy: I have been nice, ain't I? Jimmy: [kisses her again but soft] Janis: [bites lip] Janis: Probably Janis: *her own Janis: I'm still in a mood Janis: I don't know why Jimmy: [gives her a long hug] Janis: [lets it happen for a while but isn't fully into it because mad at self] Janis: it's stupid, come on Jimmy: [shakes his head but takes her hand cos okay babe] Janis: [gets cigs and lighter 'cos wants her own] Janis: both kids with you? Jimmy: Cass has got the dog why you can't hear her #drama right now Jimmy: she's off in a bit though Jimmy: mates to see Janis: Oh good to know Janis: starting to feel #unloved here Janis: 👌 alright for some init Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🤞 she'll take the boy back first so I can avoid Ian as planned Janis: [kicks floor] Janis: probably called him at lunch, when they usually do it Jimmy: [shrugs but is obviously thinking about it & bothered] Janis: gotta think of a plan Janis: to not get in so much trouble whilst still doing what we wanna Jimmy: if what you wanna do is piss everyone off there's no way Janis: is that what you wanna do? Jimmy: it's what the deal was Jimmy: get their attention you also get his Janis: that's Janis: that isn't what it is Janis: [paying and leaving shop] Jimmy: when Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: when is that not been what it's about Janis: [is like um what the fuck] Janis: literally what Jimmy: not an answer Janis: I get it, you need someone to blame Janis: fine Jimmy: that ain't what I said or meant Janis: I know what you said Janis: yeah, just one big attention grab, all of this Janis: cool Jimmy: how is it not Janis: I don't need this Janis: [is walking off duh] Jimmy: talk to me Janis: Literally why would I want to Janis: no fucking audience, is there Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: me Janis: seriously Janis: fuck off Jimmy: you Jimmy: seriously Jimmy: you can't get pissed off at me for this Janis: yes I fucking can Janis: you know what this is why are you even Janis: why would you say that shit Jimmy: 'cause you're chatting about changing the rules like it's ever been about just us Jimmy: loads of the shit we do is for them Janis: you're so fucked Jimmy: why 'cause I'm pointing about how & why this came about? Jimmy: why shit happens Jimmy: you wouldn't have come into french if they hadn't been there Janis: sure Jimmy: & you're gonna chat like them too now? Jimmy: you wanted 'em to react you can't be pissed off at 'em for doing exactly what you knew they would Jimmy: same as me & my dad Janis: I'm not pissed off at them Janis: and if you want what your Dad's got then that's your own shit to deal with isn't it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: what Janis: play ignorant Janis: you know what Jimmy: you reckon I'm saying all this is fake or for their benefit Jimmy: I ain't & weren't Jimmy: so calm down Janis: do not tell me to calm down Janis: you don't get to say all that and then say that Jimmy: all what? Jimmy: all day you've been acting hard done by Jimmy: all I said is don't Janis: actually go away Jimmy: no Janis: I have no desire to clue you in if this is actually what you think so Jimmy: you had no desire to clue me in anyway Jimmy: that ain't my fault Jimmy: like you said, that's your own shit to deal with Janis: what, what do you wanna know so bad Janis: you're chatting total shit Jimmy: & you're not Jimmy: alright Janis: no, I'm not Jimmy: whatever Jimmy: have it like that Janis: I will Janis: we've clearly been having different conversations Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: hard to tell when you keep switching Janis: I've switched Janis: okay Janis: whatever, guess after three times this isn't so much switching as just what you do Jimmy: what are you on about? Jimmy: what the fuck have I done? Janis: you're doing it again Janis: right after Janis: I literally can't do this right now Jimmy: all I'm doing is trying to figure you out Jimmy: 'cause one sec you couldn't need to see me more & the next you're hanging round the shop for ages & couldn't give less of a fuck if I'm there or not Jimmy: & that's just right now Janis: I just wanted to get a fucking cigarette alright Jimmy: [gives her his, angrily] Jimmy: here Janis: [can't not take it but let's it burn for ages not smoking 'cos petty] Jimmy: this whole day you've been Jimmy: & I'm the dickhead for trying to talk to you about it Janis: Well excuse me for not wanting to talk when all you're doing is chatting shit on me Jimmy: excuse me for trying to get a fucking reaction Jimmy: 'cause it's like Jimmy: such bollocks by now Janis: you happy? Janis: good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so pleased for you Jimmy: piss off Janis: gladly Janis: [bows and stamps out the finished cig like bye] Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: so you can walk away from me again, yeah Jimmy: & I can't say or do nowt Janis: you haven't said enough yet? Jimmy: not an answer that Janis: not a question, was it Jimmy: don't do this Janis: you Janis: you did this Janis: but no Janis: why did I come all the way here Janis: 'cos I don't fucking see Mia about and that's the only reason I'd bother right Janis: you fucking Jimmy: I didn't say that Jimmy: or if I did I didn't mean it like Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: come on Janis: literally what you said Janis: and you kept repeating it so I know you meant it Jimmy: I said, don't act like she's not relevant Jimmy: that pissing her & my dad off isn't part of this Jimmy: that's all Janis: you reckon you don't need to do anything to piss your dad off Janis: but cool Janis: let me know next time what we're doing and I'll actually try Janis: instead of trying to not get you in more shit Janis: silly me Jimmy: just 'cause I don't have to do owt don't mean I don't want to Jimmy: I hate him, alright Janis: I know Jimmy: & I love you Jimmy: you know that Janis: do what you want but I've got no interest helping you get beat up Janis: and I'm not sorry about that Jimmy: It's not like I want that Jimmy: I just Janis: Me either so Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: it proves something about him to me Jimmy: & about her too Janis: your Mum? Jimmy: why she's not here Janis: 'cos he's such a cunt Jimmy: it's a reason Jimmy: more than she gave me Janis: I thought it was the reason Jimmy: she was a cunt too though Jimmy: they were both just Janis: yeah and who wants to be with someone as shitty as themself Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: come back Janis: I can't just Jimmy: please Janis: [does] Jimmy: what can I do? Jimmy: you know I will Janis: you Janis: I just wanted to see you Janis: why do you think I want attention Janis: tell me that Jimmy: I'm not saying you're Jimmy: it's just part of this now Jimmy: we can't undo it Jimmy: so we play up to it, still Janis: they're never going to just ignore me Janis: that's not going to happen Janis: it isn't about what I want it's just facts Jimmy: I know Janis: and for the record I wish they would Janis: I thought you knew that Jimmy: I do Jimmy: I'm that much of a dickhead Jimmy: it got away from me, what I said Jimmy: not* Janis: [just nods] Jimmy: everything I said, it weren't about you Jimmy: it was about me Janis: well that's a bit far fetched Jimmy: why Janis: because some of that shit was pretty personal Janis: I know when I'm being #attacked Jimmy: yeah but it's my fucking issue that I go off the deep end any time I think you're pulling away from me Jimmy: same as it's my issue that I want my dad to react differently every time but I also don't Jimmy: that one don't even make sense Janis: I didn't wanna talk shit about the whole Dad issue Janis: sorry Janis: I wasn't even trying to go there Jimmy: It's not your fault Jimmy: it's not your damage Jimmy: it's mine Jimmy: I always do this, you said it Janis: Alright Janis: there's plenty of shit I always do Janis: hardly blameless Jimmy: so can I fix this or what Janis: of course Janis: not null and voiding my catchphrase Janis: rude Jimmy: how then Janis: At least I know where you were coming from, what you were trying to say now Janis: that helps Jimmy: I'm never just trying to be a dickhead Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: there's a Jimmy: there's something Janis: Yeah Janis: I do know Janis: it just Janis: scares me Janis: I guess Janis: when you do that Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't mean to Jimmy: but I get scared I just Jimmy: it's the same with my dad, he hurts me, I hurt him back Janis: it makes sense Janis: its reactionary Janis: but why were you scared Jimmy: I thought you were pissed off with me Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: that you didn't want me around Janis: that's all I want Janis: are we bad at this Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but I don't wanna be having a go with anyone else so Janis: me either Jimmy: & I'm better with you than I was with my ex Jimmy: you can ask her she'll happily send that rant Janis: I'm good Janis: no better at #womenssolidarity Jimmy: [does a little lol] Jimmy: you are good Jimmy: & all I want too Jimmy: in case the memory loss is back after everything I just said Janis: [looks up] Janis: just say it's real Jimmy: It's the realest thing I've ever felt, alright Janis: alright Janis: [kiss] Jimmy: that's why I get scared all the time Jimmy: 'cause you matter & I'm too used to shit that don't Jimmy: or can't Janis: I remember Janis: I'm scared too Janis: for the record Janis: deny it if you tell Twix but Jimmy: [does another little lol] Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: fucked up enough for one day Janis: we both did Janis: it was the plan, regardless why Janis: [pulls his head in to rest on her shoulder] Jimmy: [stays like that for a bit but also says ILY out loud, but soft] Janis: [says it back into his hair like] Jimmy was timed out 2 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 2 days ago Jimmy: [goes for the kind of long hug he was going for earlier but it's closer & just more cos he's a clingy soft soul and he done fucked up] Janis: [does the trying to get closer but can't thing] Jimmy: [is still holding onto her for ages but also just doing little kisses wherever he can like] Janis: probably gotta move Janis: or your sister is gonna be fuming Jimmy: [shakes his head & carries on 'cause no chill] Jimmy: she usually is Janis: [😏 face, gives him a proper kiss for encouragement] Janis: we can do this at the park Jimmy: & you reckon you don't want her to be fuming Jimmy: [but handholding & walking] Janis: she might be so morally offended she has to take Bobby home Janis: always thinking, me Jimmy: top one, nerd 💕 Janis: I know Janis: wasted on that School Jimmy: this town Janis: [squeezes his hand] Jimmy: [more handholding & walking 'cause not far to the park you can do this lads] Janis: [and you're there, no stopping for a makeout sesh or anything well done yous, Bobby being like 'let's go to yours!' 'cos he loves it] Jimmy: [Twix trying to trip them both up 'cause she's an extra queen] Janis: [giving Twix the love she desires and deserves and pushing Bobby on the swing 'cos compromise] Jimmy: [is chatting to Cass cos big brother duties never end] Janis: [is looking at him with love] Jimmy: [is helping Cass with her bike chain or something cos shit bike am I right? but keeps looking over at her likewise] Jimmy: swap with me I can't fix this Janis: you just don't wanna get dirty 👸 Janis: but 👌 Jimmy: [kisses her on the swap over cos blatantly using that excuse too even though Cass is like 😒] Janis: [lols at Cass like 🤷 but wins it back by being more competent help] Jimmy: [Bobby is just chatting away about the Cali gaff while he's pushing him cos fave place ever excuse me while I sob like] Janis: [Cass having to give Twix love 'cos she's like why does no one love me please] Janis: can tell who hasn't trained that dog, like Jimmy: one job, babe Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: so easily distracted you Jimmy: [looks at her in a very distracting way to prove his point] Janis: sabotage, that is Jimmy: what are you gonna do about it then? Janis: 🤔 Janis: Decisions, decisions Jimmy: [keeps looking at her while she's 'deciding' Janis: tell you when it's just you and me Jimmy: I'll remind you Janis: I'm not gonna forget Jimmy: memory loss gone is it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're gutted, I know Jimmy: 💔 me Jimmy: can't you tell Janis: I'll fix it Janis: 🛠 me Jimmy: I know what you are Janis: should I be worried? Jimmy: nah Janis: did sound a bit like you were threatening to #expose me so Jimmy: one sec away from a twitter blast at all times me Jimmy: but Janis: shouldn't be trusted with an @ you Jimmy: it'll be in your hands anyway remember Janis: oh yeah Janis: gonna use my powers for good, obvs Jimmy: [sends her the deets] Jimmy: go on Janis: ooh Janis: lemme think of a masterpiece Janis: not Pete, this shit doesn't just come natural 💔 Jimmy: it's okay you're the art, babe Janis: just spam my face Janis: you do enough of that, babe 😉 Jimmy: you complaining about being my muse now? Janis: nah Janis: complimenting how 💪 and 🎨 you are Jimmy: good save Janis: thanks Janis: natural reflexes Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: not that I'm a goalie, tah Jimmy: so what is your position? Janis: 😏 I don't play on the footie team anymore Janis: was not doing wonders for the gay thing Janis: I'm point guard and captain of 🏀 still though Jimmy: we can still play ⚽ though Jimmy: we're really popular it'll be easy to get a team together Jimmy: also how is that less gay? Janis: 1. as much as they say they DON'T wanna fuck you in the toilets, I don't think what they REALLY want is to play footie with you Janis: 2. rude, fuck you Janis: 3. but idk? 'cos I'm tall and black-ish it's allowed Jimmy: 😂 Janis: poor girls, think you're hitting 'em back in the DMs like 😍 and you're just like are you a decent centre back or nah Jimmy: when your next game then, gotta find some pom poms Jimmy: be 😍 myself Janis: 😒 can joke but you would be, I'm great Janis: next tuesday 👍 shave ur legs Jimmy: I'm serious about cheering you on Jimmy: 👌 prepare your own 😍 for how I look Janis: 😂 Jimmy: I'll get Pete to pen you a decent cheer Jimmy: not my 🎨 Janis: bet he's really anti organized sport Janis: looks the type Jimmy: you'll be his #exception though Jimmy: make him break all his rules Jimmy: 💕 Janis: how american teen drama Janis: i'm the jock, he's the misfit Jimmy: the #goals by which all are measured Jimmy: 🥇 baby Jimmy: I'm the popular lad you should be with but you're too much of a dickhead to see it Jimmy: 💔 Janis: You ain't like the others, are you babe? Janis: so tragic Jimmy: I'm #sensitive Jimmy: & you're missing out, girl Jimmy: be nice & go through my DMs to find your replacement before you bag Pete, yeah Janis: sure there's some nerd girl in here ready to show you what you're missing Janis: full set then Jimmy: well chuffed with that for me Janis: calm your enthusiasm 'til I'm gone, thank you Janis: bloody rude Jimmy: but I have so much enthusiasm right now Janis: can feel it Janis: you've nearly tipped him out that swing Jimmy: come here Jimmy: feel it more Janis: okay, okay Janis: we can have a doomed love affair Jimmy: you've got the name for it, Juliet Jimmy: must be fate Janis: we can't change yours though it'll fuck with the couple name Jimmy: you said it suits me anyway Janis: yeah Janis: I like it Janis: readable, pronouncable, puts you ahead of half the class Jimmy: #paddyproblems Janis: #antisocialproblems Janis: really coulda learned them by now but you know Janis: better things Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [comes over finally 'cos gotta keep him waiting] Jimmy: [kisses her like it's been years instead of however many minutes calm down boy] Janis: 🤤 Janis: should make you miss me more Jimmy: not a challenge Jimmy: but it kinda sounds like a threat Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: not over the last 💔 Janis: we can just pretend then Janis: on this one thing Jimmy: [kisses her again cos he just wants to & has a lot of feelings] Jimmy: I have missed you Jimmy: I don't need to pretend Janis: Me too Janis: sorry I was so Janis: gone Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: everyone was really going some to be bigger dickheads than usual Janis: like you said though, what did I expect Janis: it's that, I just wanted to do it, it wasn't actually about them Jimmy: it don't make it alright, that's what I never said Jimmy: & I didn't have to make shit about them that weren't either Jimmy: 'cause I know Janis: I can handle them, it's when that's not the best thing to do I struggle Janis: when I can't just give 'em a smack or chew them out 'cos that just makes me look Janis: As long as you do Janis: I didn't even want to come in to French remember Jimmy: I really do Jimmy: I swear Jimmy: & it weren't about them for me either Jimmy: I just wanted to see you Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: you know you make everything less shit Jimmy: & french is like Jimmy: up there with the paddy lingo for shit I don't get or need Janis: don't they know your words are reserved for only me Janis: and in...some kind of english Jimmy: [does a lol] Janis: You're so pretty Janis: let's be mates Jimmy: why you always friendzoning me, mate? Jimmy: [kisses her again sorry everyone] Janis: you were never not my boyfriend, were you Jimmy: nah Jimmy: that's your issue then you wanna be BFFs? Jimmy: I'll get you a necklace, hang on Janis: #whenhebuysyoujewelry Jimmy: [is literally buying them on his phone as we speak the little shit so he can give it to her at school in a few days remind me] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: shit at emojis you Jimmy: 😎 Janis: 🖕 Janis: oops Janis: my bad Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [is giving her a grumpy face but trying not to lol obvs] Janis: can we just stay in tonight Janis: not the best use of doing anything I want I know but Janis: kinda knackered Jimmy: yeah Janis: you don't mind? Jimmy: it's whatever you want Jimmy: I said Janis: well don't want you to be 😪 Jimmy: I wanna be with you Jimmy: nowt else Janis: that's alright then Janis: sick of other people today Jimmy: most #relatable you've been today Janis: it's a skill Janis: underrated one at that Jimmy: is there owt you can't do, girl? Janis: nope Jimmy: 👍 Janis: thanks for not coming back at me with a WELL Janis: not today, boy Jimmy: didn't fancy a smack Janis: you know I won't anyway Janis: also, the hitlist is pretty long today so smug to think you're 🥇 Jimmy: I am though Janis: Really? Janis: [playfight moment] Jimmy: [which then turns into kissing 'cause gotta distract her from him losing again] Janis: I love you Jimmy: can we be alone yet Jimmy: I just want Jimmy: it to be me & you Janis: I dunno, Cass is probably as keen to go so Janis: 🤞 ask for us Jimmy: what time is it? Maybe Ian'll bother to be home on time thinking he can bollock me for today Janis: it is like 6.30 now so Janis: time they're home Janis: she can text us and yay or nay, yeah? Jimmy: I'll send 'em off Jimmy: he'll be there Janis: when you're reliable in all the worst ways 💕 Jimmy: he takes #goals to a new level, he truly does Jimmy: [does send the kids & dog off cos literally not far & sits on a swing cos cool kid lol] Janis: wanna push? Jimmy: [pulls her into his lap instead 'cause she always sitting there & it's a mood] Janis: ain't done this in a while Jimmy: you're welcome then Janis: you ever try and swing over the top of the bar Jimmy: only every time Janis: good Janis: have to push you off for being lame otherwise Janis: whadya reckon we thought would happen though, honestly Jimmy: I don't reckon I thought about it Jimmy: I just remember my mum being like don't so I did Janis: 😎 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: Cass always used to jump off Jimmy: still would if she weren't too 😎 for swings now Janis: 'Course Janis: my sister broke her ankle doing that, always weak after that Jimmy: sounds like the kind of bollocks my mum was chatting Jimmy: not summat that'd actually happen Janis: that kind of shit always happened to her Janis: casual cautionary tale for us all Jimmy: Bob's that kid too Jimmy: any remote chance of him falling off or onto some shit he will Janis: 🙄 Poor bub Janis: least it probably deters him from doing completely dumb shit Jimmy: could be my fault, first time he asked me how I got fucked up I told him I fell over Jimmy: loves to copy me so Janis: could be Janis: or he's just clumsy Jimmy: we'll go with that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not gotta take on anything else, like Janis: though I did tell gracie it was her fault my brother was deaf so Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: was it? Janis: 😂 Janis: sadly not, the guilt trip of that would be 👌 Janis: he had meningitis Jimmy: not quick enough with the glass test, Grace Jimmy: sort it out Janis: [is loling] Jimmy: [is heart eyes cos she looks cute when] Janis: [pulls face like wot] Jimmy: [more kissing cos why not] Janis: [stroking his cheeks like ugh] Janis: it's rude to be this cute you know Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you're really rude Jimmy: I know Janis: 😎 Janis: just a couple of cool kids Jimmy: thought I was a nerd Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: thought so but you did the swing thing too so you know Janis: retroactive cool points Jimmy: all it takes, yeah Jimmy: alriight Janis: no one out here saying how hard it is rn Janis: you should know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: give you that Janis: [shoves him but not off 'cos they don't both need to fall] Jimmy: [looks at her like oi but is smirky] Janis: dickhead Janis: just 'cos I'm swinging with you still, don't think I like you Jimmy: I don't think you like me Jimmy: I think you love me Janis: 😑 Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: go on Janis: [is looking at him like challenging but obvs doesn't say anything] Jimmy: [tickles her 'cause he's a little shit] Jimmy: I said go on Janis: [only got yourself to blame for all this squirming boy] Jimmy: you hate me so much, yeah Janis: not gonna say what you want Janis: so nah, complete ambivalance Jimmy: [cue make out session] Jimmy: feels like it Jimmy: 👍 job Jimmy: got nowt from you then Janis: shut up Janis: you're a crap liar Jimmy: you want me to be a decent one? Janis: when are you lying to me actual Jimmy: I don't Janis: then it don't matter Jimmy: do you wanna go home? Janis: not really but I do wanna be alone with you Jimmy: we could ride the bus until the driver can't handle how horny he is Janis: 😂 Janis: making the most of this bus pass Jimmy: tips and tricks I learned from Doris in my CG days Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: fuck being over 60 she's been riding for free for time, know what I'm sayin' Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: [does a lol] Janis: we can go back to mine though forreal Janis: gotta prove I don't need any audience Janis: not even a grumpy middle-aged man Jimmy: [kisses her really hard] Jimmy: you don't have to prove anything Jimmy: but Janis: but, you wanna Jimmy: I want you Jimmy: whoever's watching Jimmy: or not Janis: you know you got me Janis: how many times have I told you Jimmy: tell me some more Jimmy: fuck it just Jimmy: show me more Janis: [use that swing to your full advantage babe] Jimmy: [let's just give them a moment like] Janis: well fuck Jimmy: I Jimmy: agreed Janis: see why people buy these Janis: though where do you put it when you've got company Jimmy: depends if you want 'em to join or not I suppose Janis: k if I give you the signal you gotta go hide it 'cos not feeling it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: nothing worse than having to be like not with u tho soz x Jimmy: done that a load, have you? Janis: all the time Janis: when I'm entertaining Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: be ready for the invite now Janis: all hors d'oeuvre and swinging me Janis: 70s housewife Jimmy: what the fuck are they though? Jimmy: who was like yeah I'm gonna just Janis: 70s housewives, probably Janis: lot of free time Janis: strange ideas about food on cocktail sticks Jimmy: loads of drugs Jimmy: & blokes they wanted to fuck up with a cocktail stick to the eye Janis: 😂 or pass off on their friend with the hot husband Janis: like have fun Jimmy: nearly makes me wish I had a few mates Janis: well idk how we're gonna fill up our free time otherwise, babe Jimmy: better get that job & cut mine down then Janis: I'll get a fucking vallium prescription Janis: get someone else to impregnate me since you won't Jimmy: Pete will volunteer & get it done Jimmy: work of only an afternoon for a super stud like him Jimmy: 💕 Janis: look enough alike we can fool you/the world Janis: soz but if I don't have two kids driving me crazy this whole bit don't work Jimmy: piss off do I look like him Janis: 😂 Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: [is pouting] Janis: [forever gonna bite a pouty lip] Janis: you're actually better looking if we're being real but shh Janis: he's the love of all our lives Jimmy: hang on, I need my twitter back for a sec Jimmy: need to let him know Janis: so rude Janis: you can't start real beef over imaginary 😍 Jimmy: so what can I start? Jimmy: [kisses her cos saucy behavior is the answer] Janis: only if you intend to finish it too Jimmy: when have I ever not Janis: got me there Jimmy: I'll get you there, baby Jimmy: you know I will Janis: Please Jimmy: [can't resist a please as we know so just casually touching her RIP the school skirt she would have changed out of but still doing his best anyway what a trooper] Janis: [taking time to kiss every hickey she had previously made] Jimmy: that's Jimmy: how does it feel so Janis: 'cos the skin is sensitive Janis: even a little touch is Jimmy: [touching her everywhere that's sensitive too wink wonk] Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: [moves closer] Jimmy: [goes harder for her cos the love is real bitch] Janis: [When you can be lowkey loud 'cos who at this park rn] Jimmy: [kissing her everywhere but not on the mouth cos wanna hear that lol] Janis: I want you so much Jimmy: [says her name out loud as he continues cos same] Janis: you remembered Jimmy: you're being very inspiring so Janis: you Janis: you know I can feel you like this Jimmy: [moves so she can feel that] Jimmy: yeah Janis: ['Baby'] Jimmy: [does it again but more] Janis: I want that Janis: but more Jimmy: [isn't gonna refuse cos no chill oh boy how are you getting away with this rn & always] Janis: God Janis: that's Jimmy: I know Janis: I missed you Janis: like this Jimmy: I missed you too, baby Janis: how was the bathroom even the same day as now Jimmy: it literally feels like weeks ago Jimmy: & I've never felt this much like Janis: It was a joke but if we couldn't, if you left Janis: I think I'd have actual withdrawals Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I did feel like I was 💀 without you in french Jimmy: seriously Janis: I know Janis: it makes the day go even slower Jimmy: you're in my head constantly Jimmy: it was a 🚭 joke but can't get enough of you Jimmy: [goes harder cos true] Janis: then we don't ever have to stop Janis: fuck me forever Jimmy: [so many kisses cos that's a yes from him] Janis: this would be so shit with anyone else, wouldn't it Jimmy: yeah Janis: I believe you Janis: but don't need to, I just know it would be Jimmy: not to keep #dragging my ex when you don't even know her but Jimmy: everything was different Jimmy: & not 👍 different Jimmy: you know Janis: yeah Janis: I know I never but Janis: the stuff I did was Janis: well I felt nothing but even the way other people chat about it Janis: doesn't sound like this ever Jimmy: & it's not just this Jimmy: I couldn't chat to her like we do Jimmy: anyone Janis: me either Janis: even before Jimmy: she knew things 'cause she was there for them but Jimmy: she never asked me nowt about it Jimmy: how I felt about anything Jimmy: you just Janis: sounds like she had her own shit but still Janis: everyone's always too afraid to ask Janis: or just don't give a shit Jimmy: you do too Jimmy: but I don't know Jimmy: you don't shut up until it's real, do you Jimmy: so Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: I can't just get away with pretending shit Jimmy: even when that was literally the plan & the deal Jimmy: you were like Jimmy: you get it Janis: I know I probably should have let you Janis: but Janis: I mean obviously I don't regret it with you, us Janis: but I can't stand bullshit from anyone Janis: and there's so much of it, from everyone, all the time Jimmy: & I told you I can't either Jimmy: I'm surrounded by bollocks Jimmy: work, home, school Janis: You get it, too Janis: it's constant Jimmy: & exhausting Jimmy: I'd rather give my energy to you Jimmy: that's nowt pointless Janis: I'll take it Janis: I wanna Jimmy: go on Janis: [kissing to slightly cover how hard they going now] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: don't let me fall off & I won't let you Janis: okay baby Janis: but if we do end up on the floor it ain't the first time Jimmy: it'd be a softer landing than some Jimmy: but it feels so good like this Jimmy: we have to just Janis: match rhythm Jimmy: don't be a nerd about it, but Janis: piss off, this nerd is about to make you cum so Jimmy: [laughs but where's the lie] Janis: you kill me when you look like that Jimmy: like what Janis: when you laugh or smile or Janis: happy, I guess Janis: looks good on you Jimmy: [has to kiss her cos 1. same bitch but also 2. emotions] Jimmy: you look good on me Janis: glad you agree Janis: 'cos I ain't going anywhere right now thanks Jimmy: you're so fucking beautiful, Janis Jimmy: bit rude honestly Janis: [can't even look at him 'cos] Jimmy: [makes her look at him 'cause hot eye contact ftw] Jimmy: you are Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: fuck Jimmy: I know you can more than a few words, yeah Jimmy: so just Janis: You know what your words do to me though Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: you Janis: the way you feel inside me Janis: I Janis: I can't even try to describe Jimmy: there ain't never gonna be words for this Jimmy: us Janis: don't need one Janis: just you Jimmy: you've got me Jimmy: forever you said Janis: yeah Janis: I just don't like to think about endings when it feels like this Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: but you need to end this Jimmy: right here Jimmy: or we'll 💀 Jimmy: probably get nabbed by the 👮 too eventually Janis: is 💕 such a crime, officer? Janis: [goes in though 'cos yes] Jimmy: [is being loud soz everyone] Janis: ['tell me baby'] Jimmy: [tells her that he really fucking loves her & needs her even more] Janis: [is trying to get closer, holding him tight against her and inside her, right in his ear as she cums] Jimmy: [is always trying to get closer forever too so DYING RN] Janis: how did that feel Jimmy: I Jimmy: 🥇 that's it Jimmy: all there is to say Janis: good enough for me Janis: fucking hell Janis: surprised if they couldn't hear that from yours Jimmy: really endear Ian to you that Janis: I wish you didn't have to go home Janis: ever Janis: to him Janis: the kids are fine, no offence babes Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: it's only ever to them Jimmy: for them Jimmy: whatever Janis: I know Janis: but Janis: meh Janis: [rests chin on his shoulder] Jimmy: he's called me loads since I sent 'em back Janis: had time to think of some killer lines and he's still gonna lead w 🥊 Janis: do better, Ian Jimmy: can I stay at yours for a bit Jimmy: it'll probably make him more fuming but Janis: Yeah Janis: any time Janis: but actually mean it, not a throwaway comment Jimmy: [kisses her cos he knows] Janis: [ily] Jimmy: we should go Jimmy: if you can move Janis: just glad I'm not wearing the skirt right now Jimmy: personally I'm gutted to see it go but Janis: it'll be back tomorrow morning but trust you don't wanna explain why I'm coming home with cum dripping down my legs any more than I do Jimmy: soz that I'm too northern for the paddy's #1 trusted pull out method we're all 💔💔 Janis: you're alright, every sperm is sacred and all that Janis: fucking clearly in this fam Janis: I'm the one gunning 'em down Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tah for breaking the mold babe Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙇 Janis: some cunts gotta at some point Janis: actual joke Jimmy: I ain't gonna ask how many nieces & nephews you've already got Jimmy: dickheads at school have painted me a picture & it ain't 🎨 Janis: 🙄 don't honestly Janis: can't even blame them, that's the shitty thing Janis: like yeah lads, I agree but ain't my fault or problem so Jimmy: who's next, Gracie, your hippie brother or the dickhead one? Janis: hmm 🤔 Janis: Iggy would probably father a child and then just forget to tell us like oh yeah well we're raising it like a spartan so I just left it up top of the mountains so Janis: Pablo is defs a forcing an abortion on you man so he's got my back Jimmy: [lols] Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you said you'd been stuck in for ages, do you wanna walk? Jimmy: or bus it 'cause you're knackered Janis: you mean you aren't gonna carry me the whole way Janis: honeymoon is over 😉 Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted and picks her up playfully] Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: [kisses him whilst she's there 'cos cute nerds] Janis: let's walk, no rush is there Jimmy: [cue more kisses when he puts her down & handholding] Janis: I know it's not ideal rn but Janis: always like it when you stay Jimmy: It's alright, I know you ain't 🤞 that my dad'll bash me more often Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: & I like it when I stay too Janis: Good Janis: would like that on record at the very least Jimmy: I'll screenshot it, don't worry Jimmy: not one for twitter but Jimmy: 👍 Janis: no, no one gonna be 😍 Janis: maybe gracie like wow, basic human empathy who knew Jimmy: is she gonna be there? Janis: I assume so Janis: also her gaff, like Jimmy: what the fuck's the use of her being friends with Mia if she's never at her mansion 🙄 Jimmy: sort it out, Grace Janis: you know, easier to stalk me from ours Janis: doubt she'll be up for the massive slag-off sesh if she couldn't even hack one lesson Jimmy: least it means they won't be there too Jimmy: unless they're SO SORRY #duh Janis: 😏 Janis: take my apologies in the forms of cash only Jimmy: I'm gonna start charging every time she looks at me 🔪🔪🔪 Janis: #thathoelife Janis: gonna paywall my DMs tbh Jimmy: the most #relatable you've been so far Janis: make the most of having a twitter secretary, babe Jimmy: 😏 Janis: just go through ❌ the uggos and ✔ the maybes Jimmy: no 🐇🍳 like Janis: you'd love it Jimmy: been there, fucked that Jimmy: Barry was a right one Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm sure Janis: wasn't you crashing his wedding or anything Jimmy: his eyes were begging me to babe Jimmy: come on Janis: [is lol] Jimmy: who's wouldn't be if they're marrying a 16 year old Jimmy: run Barry run Janis: 😬 Janis: have her parents literally signed her off or what Jimmy: they did yeah Janis: that's fucked Janis: least my parents 'marriage' wasn't real Janis: nan still don't like dad so good luck with that 👍 Jimmy: are they not married proper by now then? Janis: yeah Janis: she didn't object at the vital moment Janis: 💔 Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: she can step up for Ian's next nuptials if she wants to get into heaven like a good 🍀 Janis: I done told you she's Scouse Janis: and definitely not getting in Janis: but I'll ask Janis: hire her services Janis: better at 🔪🔪🔪 than Mia Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll just show and that'll put him right off Jimmy: whose name are you gonna try & say anyway dad? 🤔 Jimmy: It don't matter I'll give our kid the 💍s to lose Janis: 😂 all middle aged women have the same like 10 names Janis: he's got an alright chance Jimmy: you cheerleading him now? 'cause you ain't borrowing my pom poms Jimmy: get your own Janis: No I in team, babe Jimmy: what's the team colours Jimmy: I wanna look 🔥 Janis: 💙 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: suits me Janis: compliments your eyes Janis: probably Jimmy: [flutters his eyelashes at her cos nerd. Why do boys have such long beautiful ones bitch?] Janis: I hate you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😣 Jimmy: [kisses] Janis: You're Jimmy: a dickhead, yeah Jimmy: I know Jimmy: [more kisses cos why not] Janis: cute Janis: and pretty Janis: and everything else you hate being called Jimmy: so rude you Jimmy: [tickles her again] Janis: I will kick you now I'm not at risk of falling too you know Janis: be warned Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: don't be all mouth Janis: I'm fair, thank you Janis: touch me again and Jimmy: [does the thing where's he's hovering really close by not actually touching her cos little shit] Jimmy: and? Jimmy: [then leans in for a kiss but likewise stops short for the wind up] Janis: [😡 and a vaguely aggressive smooch] Jimmy: [tucks a strand of hair behind her ear really soft cos can't resist and also gotta win her round at all times] Janis: [kicks 'cos you know rules but not actually hard 'cos that'd be rude] Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: ow Janis: Poor boy Janis: that's what you get though Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [squishes his face like n'awh] Jimmy: you only done that 'cause you know I can't kick you back Jimmy: such a girl Janis: you can try it, babe Jimmy: [playfight again] Janis: never give up, do ya Jimmy: nah Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals Janis: [🙄 but not as done as that face is lmao] Jimmy: [cheek kiss cos cheeky] Janis: [rubs at it 'cos same but is also 😍] Janis: I'm not your nan, you know Jimmy: she's 💀 so that's good news Jimmy: [little make out session though] Janis: 😂 Janis: sexy Janis: got me in the mood that Jimmy: you're always in the mood Jimmy: what I like about you that Janis: obvs Janis: any time any place Janis: girl guides prepared me Jimmy: course you were in all them after school activities, rich girl Jimmy: 👸🐎 Janis: oh please Jimmy: bit late to deny it Jimmy: but go on Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah yeah coal for breakfast lunch n tea I know Jimmy: 🎅 came to ours to stock up for the bad kids Jimmy: thieving fucker Janis: 💔 should hear how he treats his elves Jimmy: Ian's true form that Jimmy: why he's such a mardy bastard Janis: [snorts attractive babe] Jimmy: did you mean what you said Janis: what bit? Jimmy: 🚭 Jimmy: girl guides prepare you for that too? Janis: 'course Janis: got the leaflets on me at all times Janis: do you wanna Janis: not whatserface, idc if you don't Jimmy: I don't wanna read any leaflets or slide into that ginger's DM's Jimmy: but like Janis: sure Jimmy: it's your fault Jimmy: so Janis: wearing you out? Jimmy: piss off no Jimmy: needing me to live long enough to rescue you from your shit marriage to Pete Jimmy: already gonna have to fight against my northern life expectancy to see it through Janis: you and weddings Janis: gonna have to have it in the bahamas or some shit Jimmy: alright rich girl, stop flexing Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: jus sayin Janis: gonna splash the cash to protect my mans Janis: he's sensitive, tah Jimmy: his skin is, he'll burn up Jimmy: put applying factor 50 in the vows 'cause your only job Janis: 😂 Janis: so precious Janis: must protect 💪 Jimmy: I'll hit you up when my 👵 missus has 💀 Jimmy: might leave me enough cash that you're interested Janis: 😍 Janis: I'll be sure to pick up ☎ Jimmy: I'll send you a text, know they make you 😍 Janis: shut up Jimmy: you'd have to break my hands Jimmy: that'd 💔 you Janis: [😒😳 combo] Jimmy: [kissing her cos so cute whatever her face is doing] Janis: [deepens it 'cos] Jimmy: [little make out moment] Janis: I like you Janis: you're a dickhead and everything but Jimmy: I get it, you want me to keep my 👅 Janis: I get it, you wanna stop Janis: don't need to seduce me if you need the breather, babe Jimmy: I need nowt of the sort Jimmy: [kisses her again to prove it & cos he needs her lbr] Janis: [running her fingers through his hair and up and down his back] Jimmy: I don't want you to stop doing that though Janis: might make walking a bit difficult but Janis: do my best Jimmy: [picks her up like now you can still] Janis: [does] Janis: such a trooper, you Jimmy: [is kissing her neck on all her hickeys but soft] Janis: ['mm' noise] Janis: you're gonna drop me Jimmy: [shakes his head & says 'I promise' cos always] Janis: [holding on tighter but not 'cos she needs to] Jimmy: [more kisses but less soft] Janis: [swings down whilst kissing him and backs up into a wall, streetlight idk] Jimmy: [is 😍 cos how swag & kissing her harder] Janis: [tugging at his top to look for somehwere to give him a new hickey] Jimmy: [takes it off cos boy privilege & it's may so not gonna freeze to death] Janis: [is just looking at him like 😍 and stroking his chest 'cos damn] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ? for the 😍 even though he knows damn well but also looking at her like ! cos what you gonna do babe] Janis: [stroking turns to little scratches and then bigger scratches because frustrated as hell, biting and kissing as love as she can get away with in public but obviously not low enough] Janis: low* Jimmy: [is swearing quietly but obvs cos he's living for it not cos fuck you lol] Janis: ['do you have any idea how bad I want you right now?'] Jimmy: [is giving her a LOOK cos yeah he does & like pulls her off the path to try and find somewhere slightly less public like] Janis: [insatiable kids] Jimmy: [I hope there's like some bushes or something for their sake. How sims lol] Janis: Here Janis: here is fine Jimmy: [takes off her top so he can get his own back for before cos of course he would] Janis: [is 😱 shooketh but obvs not complaining or stopping him] Jimmy: [let him crack on with doing that to her for a bit just so she's even more frustrated lol] Janis: ['Jimmy'] Jimmy: [says her name too cos teasing little shit & he knows what it does] Janis: [pouting so hard] Janis: come on Jimmy: [bitey pouty lip thing forever but harder than he usually goes cos mood as she finally gets what she wants] Janis: ['ow' but make it a moan] Jimmy: [kiss it better but make it sexy] Janis: you're so Jimmy: you Janis: [shakes head] Jimmy: [says 'take the compliment' as per] Janis: [more kisses 'cos shh but also 'cos] Jimmy: [going harder at everything just cos] Janis: how many pleases is it gonna take? Jimmy: let's see Janis: [#1] Jimmy: [pulls her closer cos always and does love a please] Janis: [is pushing herself into him and #2 'cos more always] Jimmy: [is likewise pushing her against a tree or whatever] Janis: [wraps her legs around him 'cos always and they long enough bitch] Jimmy: [perks of having a tall girlfriend got him like 😍] Janis: third time's a charm? Jimmy: [just nods 'cause can't even speak] Janis: ['Baby, please' with all the emphasis] Jimmy: [obviously gives in cos how can he not & SO MUCH KISSING BITCH] Janis: I Jimmy: I know Janis: [ily] Jimmy: [says it back] Janis: you're fucking gorgeous Jimmy: you are Janis: shit Jimmy: [doing the trying to get closer thing again] Janis: [using her hands in his hair to move his face level with hers and having the hottest closest eye contact ever[ Jimmy: [loud enthusiastic response cos damn] Janis: how do we keep ending up here Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: know Jimmy: care Janis: same Janis: just Janis: make sure it keeps happening okay Jimmy: you too Jimmy: don't get shy, yeah Janis: [little lol like wut] Jimmy: [kisses because she's so cute when she's happy & I'll keep saying so goodbye] Janis: don't think anyone is accusing me of being shy right now Jimmy: make sure they don't ever Jimmy: all I'm saying Janis: calling me predictable right now, really Janis: [cuffs his head but kisses him too 'cos obvs playing] Jimmy: I'm not calling you nowt Jimmy: I just like how you are Janis: JUST as I am though? 😏 Jimmy: are you trying to start a fight right now, really Jimmy: [but kisses her again cos also playing] Janis: Just keeping it exciting for you, babe Jimmy: do you reckon this is boring? Janis: not a word that I'd use Janis: if I was capable of saying much more than fuck, your name and God's, rn Jimmy: gimme one you can Jimmy: just don't give your god no credit Janis: [saying his name 'cos duh] Jimmy: [goes harder as a result cos he's into her saying his name too & we know it] Janis: holy shit Janis: just like that, that's so Janis: you're so good Jimmy: [says 'you'] Janis: [kissing him 'cos people going past not that far away so shh lads] Jimmy: you always make me forget where we are Janis: that's what I want Jimmy: to be my escape, yeah, I ain't forgotten Janis: don't Janis: no one does it better than me, remember that Jimmy: you don't Jimmy: I'm taking you away from here too you know Janis: I do know Janis: swear Jimmy: just swear you'll come with me Jimmy: that's what I want Janis: of course I will Janis: why wouldn't I Janis: I hate everyone here but you so if you ain't here then why am I Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you more Jimmy: shut up, you can't say that Janis: just did Janis: what you gonna do about it Jimmy: [goes harder than ever & is doing all her fave things cos if it's a competition like] Janis: [we know what gonna happen] Jimmy: [I hope nobody else is about cos soz] Janis: fucking hell boy Jimmy: 💕 Janis: don't look at me like that Jimmy: like what? Jimmy: [but is still doing it cos he knows] Janis: so smug and Janis: ugh Jimmy: just my face Jimmy: not doing nowt with it Janis: 😒 Janis: you know exactly what you're doing always Jimmy: what was it you said, I'm keeping things exciting Jimmy: that's what I'm doing Janis: you're making me fucking Janis: fall in love with you Janis: that's what you're doing Jimmy: you're already in love with me Jimmy: I'm making you stay Janis: more in love then Janis: somehow Jimmy: good Janis: mostly good Jimmy: where's the bad bit? Janis: it's just a bit...terrifying sometimes, don't you think Jimmy: it's only terrifying when you don't know where you stand Jimmy: & we do Jimmy: you ain't questions, you're answers Janis: yeah Jimmy: you don't gotta be scared of me, alright Janis: it's not like Janis: I don't know Janis: can't explain it Janis: it isn't anything you do though, trust me Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: but I'm not gonna fuck this up again Jimmy: not for ages at least Jimmy: gimme about a week Janis: it isn't Janis: it's actually a me problem Janis: but I'll hold you to that anyway Jimmy: problems you? nah I don't believe it, rich girl Jimmy: [but kisses her because so much love and seriousness actually] Janis: ain't you heard money can't solve 'em? Jimmy: that's the bollocks that gets said when you're crying on a yacht or whatever I'm sure Janis: 'course Janis: can't buy genuine wisdom either, soz Jimmy: life's shit but it'd be less shit for me if I had enough money to leave whenever it was worse than that Janis: money ain't the reason you can't go though Janis: that'd be an easy fix Jimmy: it's a reason though Janis: not the main one Janis: the real shit is always way more messy and complicated Jimmy: alright calm down, I ain't asking you to donate to my gofundme or owt Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: come on, we've got loads more walking to go Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [lights up 🚬] Jimmy: [steals it even though he said he was gonna 🚭] Janis: erm, wasn't for you Jimmy: don't be rude Jimmy: share with your boyfriend Janis: [takes it back] Janis: sharing means sharing Janis: you've nearly finished it Jimmy: that's your fault for walking so fast Janis: you that was in a hurry Jimmy: I only said we had ages left Jimmy: not that you had to run Janis: whatever Janis: just try to keep up Jimmy: I get it, you're such an athlete Jimmy: calm down Janis: shut up Janis: i'm not even you're being slow Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: you've got a rush on, girl Janis: it is a school night 🤓 Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: can't be any worse than usual 🤞 Jimmy: tomorrow's gonna be so shit Janis: cheery Janis: why Jimmy: 1. it's school 2. people are dickheads 3. my dad ain't stopped ringing me Janis: the first 2 are standard Jimmy: it's standard that it's shit too Jimmy: where've you been Janis: bunk then Janis: like you said, no avoiding how in the shit you are with him now Jimmy: like you said, if we do everyone will reckon they got to us Janis: not saying I can Janis: you could though Jimmy: not without you Jimmy: I already told you that Janis: alright Jimmy: 👌 Janis: then what can I do? Jimmy: you ain't gotta do owt Jimmy: how many times, shit's less shit just by you being about Janis: well I'll be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can we just Janis: stop Jimmy: here? Janis: I mean Janis: I don't even know why it's gone weird really but can we just not Jimmy: yeah Janis: or you could tell me why so I can do something about it Jimmy: so you're saying I'm making it weird Janis: I'm saying I don't know why it is so maybe you do Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: I'm knackered too maybe I'm being a dickhead Janis: That's alright then Janis: let's just crash Janis: long as it's nothing serious then it's all good Jimmy: come here for a sec Janis: [does] Janis: yeah? Jimmy: [hugs her] Janis: [hugs back] Janis: sorry, I know it's shit Jimmy: It's just Jimmy: If my dad wasn't such a fucking Jimmy: we could have been at mine no time after we left the park Janis: I know Janis: we should've got the bus Jimmy: could've have done all that on the bus though Jimmy: couldn't* Janis: well no Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: I'm just sorry baby Jimmy: it was good, yeah Jimmy: don't be Janis: I'm not sorry about that Janis: just that tomorrow is gonna be shit Janis: and I can't do shit for you Jimmy: but you can Jimmy: you're 🥇 Janis: I dunno Janis: wish I could actually throw money at this shit Jimmy: [kisses her like shh but also ILY] Jimmy: just be my girlfriend Jimmy: I don't wanna buy one of them Janis: [halfhearted lol] Janis: bit tragic Jimmy: bit too Ian Janis: [actual lol] Janis: I hope you just mean he's 💪 and spending too hard on his gfs Jimmy: well he ain't ordered one online yet as far as I know Jimmy: give him another failed marriage & maybe Janis: maybe he'll move to Thailand and leave you all behind Jimmy: fuck that we'll go with Jimmy: ditch him first chance we get babe, deal? Janis: deal Jimmy: [puts his hand out for her to shake cos nerd] Janis: [spits on hers 'cos gross and remember when] Jimmy: lovely you Jimmy: [but does it too obvs] Janis: you're the one that likes me Janis: weirdo Jimmy: insult me all you want now cos when we get there I'm selling the 🐶 Jimmy: let 'em make a meal out of her Janis: joke all YOU want but the fact you're even bringing her shows you luuuuurve her Jimmy: [is protesting but also trying not to lol so we see you boy] Janis: 👦💕🐶 Janis: the best of friends Jimmy: in your dreams, girl Janis: wildest, babe Janis: I'll draw the art this time Jimmy: what else is in there Jimmy: let me know Janis: maybe Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh only maybe okay then] Jimmy: what do I have to do to make it more than a maybe? Janis: get a good night sleep Janis: you said you're knackered Jimmy: challenge accepted then Jimmy: [but you can tell he's thinking like when the fuck did I last get one of them] Janis: [smooches him like I know] Janis: don't worry, I'll help Janis: I wanna tell you Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: [gestures for her to have a piggyback cos gotta exhaust him further lol no offense babe] Janis: tomorrow Janis: gotta get you through the day somehow Janis: [piggybacks tho] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [does a little run to be a show off but like actually be careful boy] Janis: [loling and 😍] Jimmy: [let's give them a piggyback moment for a fair while & distance well done boy] Janis: impressive Jimmy: sound more surprised about it, dickhead Jimmy: 🏆💪 me Janis: soz didn't know I was dating superman Janis: gimme a sec to swoon Jimmy: Clark Kent around the fans though, babe Janis: ohh that's why you're such a 🤓 Janis: just a cover, why didn't you say Jimmy: busted Jimmy: had to make sure I could trust you Janis: 😏 Janis: well I'm not gonna be that basic bitch but still, got your back Jimmy: tah girl Janis: Legit have a cousin called Lois Jimmy: 'course you do, nerd Jimmy: she got a sister called Penny? Janis: umm, I didn't fucking name her, 'scuse you Janis: and no, worse but you already know Janis: Leia, in our year Jimmy: ? Jimmy: more freckles than you Jimmy: that the one? Janis: that's the one Jimmy: how many cousins you got? Jimmy: half the school or what Janis: 🙄 pretty much Janis: who else would you know hmm Janis: Ollie in our year Janis: his sister Sophie, year below, that's probably it Jimmy: we should get him for our ⚽ team Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Yeah, bin off the actual lad, know you wanna Jimmy: nowt personal we're just too 😎 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: & I just can't around all those sweaty lads 😍😍 so Janis: 🚬 wheezing for all the wrong reasons, babe Jimmy: [lols] Janis: less of a look that being a footie dyke, trust Jimmy: you've got a beard now if you wanna get back on the team Janis: what else am I in this for Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: get your short shorts on then, babe Janis: but how can I compete Jimmy: 🥇 you Jimmy: come on Janis: but those legs 😍😍 Jimmy: but yours Jimmy: [reaches to get 'em] Janis: oi Janis: [protest too much] Jimmy: [little playfight that very quickly just turns into him getting her in a sexy way] Janis: we're nearly there now Janis: you can do it Jimmy: [tells her how hot she is in a VOICE cos how dare you distract him girl now he's gotta distract you too but does carry on] Janis: ['wait' and smooches him 'cos okay] Jimmy: [& then more cos forever mood] Janis: such a bad influence Jimmy: I just like encouragement Jimmy: I really Janis: [more intense eye contact] really? Jimmy: respond well to it, you know Jimmy: [hot kisses to prove the point] Janis: I Janis: I see Jimmy: [more eye contact just because] Janis: come on Janis: [takes his hand and lowkey drags him the rest of the way] Jimmy: [gives her a look like she's such a spoilsport & is all smirky but goes] Janis: you just go straight down Janis: I'll tell my parents what's up Jimmy: alright Janis: it'll be fine Janis: save the 20 questions later if I don't 🙄 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah Janis: [comes down after five minutes or so] Jimmy: [he's just flopped on her bed cos tired boy] Janis: [sits down next to and strokes his hair like hey] Jimmy: [snuggles] Janis: you need anything? Jimmy: [says 'you' cos obvs] Janis: [snuggles down too 'cos 'you got me'] Jimmy: [all the snuggles and soft kisses and touches cos happy] Janis: ['I wish you could stay forever'] Jimmy: [just nods cos same & emotions] Janis: [just being gentle and loving 'cos gah] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [I love you] Jimmy: [kisses cos again same & again emotions] Janis: [gets him undressed but less in a sexy way and more in a caring way] Jimmy: [follows her lead & helps her with her own clothes not forgetting putting the hair down cos never & we gotta spend some time playing with that then] Janis: you're Janis: I've never met anyone like you Jimmy: too northern Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I've met loads of paddy's but you're Janis: shh Janis: no you're Janis: maybe I've never been with anyone like this Janis: I don't mean just the sex and shit Janis: you know Jimmy: I do Jimmy: know Janis: you Janis: you feel it too right Jimmy: [all the eye contact & 😍] Jimmy: I feel it too, baby Janis: [is reassured like yes good and dying a bit 'cos closeness] Jimmy: [says ILY but it's basically a whisper cos how soft they are rn] Janis: [actual whisper 'why'] Jimmy: 'cause I do Jimmy: all them compliments you never take Jimmy: for a start Janis: [hiding how she do] Janis: okay Jimmy: [is playing with her hair and gently gets her to look at him because] Jimmy: you've gotta take 'em or you'll 💔 me Jimmy: [but smiles and is still 😍] Janis: I said okay, how else can I take a compliment? 😏 Jimmy: [more kisses] Jimmy: say it like you mean it Jimmy: maybe Janis: [🙄 but less mad as per] Janis: okay Janis: agree with everything you've said, I'm amazing, like Jimmy: [pins her down but gently not like !!! for more kissing because third time's the charm obvs] Janis: [ily so much] Jimmy: [says her name a few times in between kisses cos they both like it] Janis: thought you were sleepy Jimmy: I am but Jimmy: never that sleepy Jimmy: you're just Janis: [smiley and smug] Jimmy: [traces the 😏 face emoji on her with his finger cos art hoe] Janis: not gonna cut your hands off Janis: I've decided Jimmy: Yeah? Jimmy: what have you decided to do with them instead then Janis: [moves his hands down and does the thing where you move 'em with yours on top] Jimmy: thought you were knackered Janis: how else you meant to unwind 'fore bed Jimmy: [smiles and kisses her again as he carries on] Janis: I wanna Janis: touch you too Jimmy: [moves a bit so it's easier for her cos we can all imagine how close they were probably lying am I right, kids?] Janis: show me how you do it Janis: how you like it Jimmy: [does the same hand trick for her like a shameless copycat] Janis: ['I just wanna make you feel good, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [tries to tell her that she does but it's a moan though 'cause how hot do you wanna be, Janis, it's rude] Janis: [kissing him harder 'cos feeling that he's feeling it too] Jimmy: [and yet he's still managing to touch her too, what a trooper, not like me I'd be well distracted] Janis: you're Janis: [more kisses] Jimmy: you though Jimmy: [more kisses] Janis: ['you' over and over] Jimmy: [and her name too cos that's the mood] Janis: I love you so much Jimmy: [kissing again cos he can't even] Janis: [lbr gonna do this 'til sleep] Jimmy: [true story bro]

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