#i would just delete it but that bad things happen bingo i'm not doing is on here hdasf;basdfdsajfklasdasdlkjfadsjf

[no-144444]

the disgraced pop princess

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summary: oscar is your salvation after things go horribly wrong

pairing: oscar piastri (no.81) x singer! reader

warnings: TALK OF SA and cyberbullying

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comments

user13: WHAT THE FUCK

user15: This is all her fault. She's a bad person

-> user16: Where did you get that from? An anonymous twitter account?

user14: I AM A CHILD OF DIVORCE

Alexy/l/n: ❤️❤️❤️

CharlesOBrien: the end.

DarrelBowser: fin.

user82: WTF.

user45: how could she ruin this? doesn't she care about the fans?

-> user38: you have no idea what happened? stfu

oscarpiastri: GUYS I'M FREAKING OUT RN WTF.

-> user55: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

-> logansargeant: he's been a WINGS fan since he was a teenager. He's been in love with Y/n Y/l/n name since he was like 15.

-> landonorris: Can confirm he's having a breakdown rn.

-> alexalbon: It's all too much for little oscar piastri

->zbrown: Zandvoort is fucked isn't it? @/landonorris @/oscarpiastri

-> landonorris: Sadly, yes.

-> oscarpiastri: VERY MUCH SO, YES.

user90: oscar piastri being a WINGS fan was not on my 2024 bingo card tbh.

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BREAKING NEWS! POPULAR MUSIC GROUP ‘WINGS’ HAVE ANNOUNCED THE END OF THEIR WORLD TOUR, AND THEIR BAND! 

Speculation has been flying for weeks due to various sources giving people an inside look into popular music group ‘Wings’. Many fans have been left wondering in recent weeks as the band has been seen arguing on stage, not speaking to each other off-stage, and even some of them have been refusing to go on and perform. Many people have been trying to point fingers to who’s at fault for the end of this historic music group, and  various pieces of evidence against the front woman Y/n Y/l/n, the singer, songwriter, and lead bass guitarist of the group. Many pieces against her have been posted to the popular anonymous twitter account  ‘@/anonymousmail’, detailing how she has been treating the rest of the band badly, by not letting them write their own music, becoming too controlling over the band, and even going as far as to threaten other members of the band. 

Late last night after their last of 5 shows in Las Vegas at the historical Westgate Las Vegas Resort & Casino, where rock and roll legend, Elvis Presley played for years, the front woman Y/n Y/l/n posted a photo of her hugging her brother (and fellow band member), Alex Y/l/n with the caption ‘the end of it all. 12 year old me is crying. so is 22 year old me. bye for now and ever.’. On stage, they announced they were parting ways and were all in tears as they left. 

This looks like the end for the group, and this publication is sad to see them go. We wish them all good luck, and we will keep our readers posted on any drama from the unravelling group. 

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BREAKING NEWS! ‘WINGS’ LEAD GUITARIST SPEAKS OUT AGAINST Y/N Y/L/N!

In a new-deleted instagram story, the lead guitarist of the band called out Y/n Y/l/n with this statement 

‘Good f*****g riddance to that b***h . F******g fame-hungry c**t who could never sing for s**t. Good f**k tho’

This left fans shocked, as Y/l/n has said in the past that they were ‘all friends and would always respect each other, even if the band broke up’ (2021 interview with Vogue). Many people have shipped the two online due to their flirty stage-presence and good banter in interviews, but they always vehemently denied the claims that they were together. In other shocking news, it seems the rest of the band Charles O’Brien (lead guitarist), Alex Y/l/n (new lead singer, ‘Wings’ second guitarist), Darrel Brown (drummer), and Axel Smith (new bass guitarist) will be continuing on with ‘Wings’ as this was posted to the band social media account just days after their announced split. 

Y/n Y/l/n has refused to comment and all her social media accounts have gone dark. We’ll keep you updated!

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comments

user12: ZAK BROWN IS WILDIN

user59: HE GETS US, BRING BACK THE REAL WINGS

landonorris: bro plz don't jump wtf

alexalbon: we're here for you buddy :)

logansargeant: he's crying in my driver's room rn. he's unconsolable.

-> user90: bro is DOWN BAD.

mclaren: Please don't crash the car Oscar. We'll bribe you.

-> user47: this is insane.

User58: hey so you're crazy.

georgerussel: We're here for you mate :(

lewishamilton: Missing WINGS rn.

user83: i feel bad that oscar just found out his celebrity crush is a bad person :(

-> user33: phone down. NOW. it's an anonymous twitter account with no credibility.

user55: what Charles said about her was mental.

-> oscarpiastri: AGREED. I ALWAYS HATED HIM.

-> landonorris: PUBLIC ACCOUNT.

-> WINGSfanno1: ur right, my b. AGREED. I ALWAYS HATED HIM.

-> user88: no way oscar piastri has a WINGS fan account 🤣🤣🤣

hater66: I hate Y/n, oscar should too.

hater36: she's a slut and an awful person.

hater22: Y/N Y/L/N HATE CLUB!

->hater82: me too!

->hater100: me too!

->hater3792: me too!

->hater38: me too!

->hater202: me too!

->hater26: me too!

->hater77: me too!

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BREAKING NEWS! Y/N Y/L/N IS SET TO BE ATTENDING THE DUTCH GRAN PRIX THIS WEEKEND!

According to anonymous sources, Y/n Y/l/n will be attending the Dutch Gran Prix this weekend. This comes as a shock since she's deactivated her instagram, most likely due to the break-up of her band. The rest of WINGS will also be in attendance, all as guest of McLaren, whereas Y/n is a guest of Sir. Lewis Hamilton, in the Mercedes garage. They have been seen in public recently and have been sparking dating rumours, despite their age difference. Many fans are now speculating that another reason the band broke up is the supposed cheating rumours. Y/l/n was apparently dating lead guitarist Charles O'Brien, but cheated on him with 7 time World Champion, Lewis Hamilton. Their paparazzi photos certainly seem to paint a picture...

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You woke up puffy-eyed and angry. 3 days ago, you were on tour living your life to the fullest, singing and touring with your best friends, and your chosen family. At least, that's what you thought they were. It turns out they'd all been trying to get you out of the band that you started, for a couple of months now. They'd been lying to the press about you, making every little thing you did seem worse than it was, and your 'best friend' Charles O'Brien decided it was time to get you drunk enough to sleep with him.

You felt used. Every time you four went in for a record session, a new contract, a new show, you were told that you were the only reason the band was famous. You were the real talent.You were the moneymaker. You always brushed it off, telling them that you were so good, because the band was so good. You didn't give a fuck about people telling you to get out before they swindled you and felt you in the dirt. Now you wished you had listened. Now you wished you hadn't seen so blind to their blatant disregard for you. Now you wished you'd broken off from them years ago, even your brother.

Charles had been the backbone of getting you out, that you knew. He'd always hated how you got credit for making the band popular, when it really was you who made the band popular. It had been your idea to start a youtube channel at 12 years old, it had been your idea to enter your schools battle of the bands at 13 years old, and it was you who took the risk and trusted a manager for the first time, even going as far as being the only one to sign the contract, so they could always get out of it. You'd always been so considerate, so protective, so blind.

Today was the Dutch Gran Prix, and Lewis had decided it would be best for you to get out of the hotel room you'd been rotting in and come visit him for the race. You'd been to Gran Prix's before, but mostly when you were younger and not in the middle of a world tour, like you had been for the past year and a half. You left your room looking better than you had in days, you'd done your makeup, worn your favourite outfit, and you'd finally stopped crying. Small victories, right? You hadn't checked social media in days, you knew what you'd find, and you didn't want to know what everyone thought of you. You just wanted it all to stop.

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liked by nicolepiastri, charlesobrien and 772,922 more.

comments

alexalbon: Ok this is becoming pathetic now

-> logansargeant: YOU ONLY THINK IT'S PATHETIC NOW?

georgerussel: Poor kid :(

maxverstappen: 🤣🤣🤣🤣

danielriccardo: I'll swing by with some food. We can cry together brother

-> oscarpiastri: the only real one on the grid 💔💔💔 love you daniel

-> logansargeant: mate I held you when you cried last night.

-> oscarpiastri: and you're still complaining about it. Daniel doesn't complain.

nicolepiastri: Kids these days...

hattiepiastri: please take his phone away from him @/logansargeant, I can't handle anymore embarrassment.

-> logansargeant: I'm trying, I promise.

user67: can we talk about zak brown, wtf?

-> zbrown: he's too sexy to die (and crash my car)??? what don't u get????

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As you walked into the paddock beside Lewis, you felt the cameras on you. He was trying to shield you, but it wasn't exactly working.

"Y/n, how do you feel about what Charles said about you?!" "Y/n, are you and Lewis together? Did you cheat on Charles?"

What? How could you cheat on Charles when you weren't even dating him? That made no fucking sense. He'd assaulted you. You were going through the motions of suing him. How could anyone think you'd willingly have sex with the boy you'd seen as a brother for the past 22 years of your life?

"Follow me," Lewis whispered, leading you further away from the McLaren garage. "Don't worry about them, they're not going to talk to you."

You nodded, trying to put on a brave face as he led you to the Mercedes garage. You were used to the paddock, Lewis had known you since you were a young teenager embarking on your first tour with a new record deal, he'd shown you around as you stood nervous, just trying to do everything right, make yourself and the band look good. He gave you an important piece of advice that day.

"You don't need to worry about the cameras or the press, be yourself and the rest will come naturally."

A piece of advice you'd followed through your teenage years, and now into your 20's. You were scared again, but this time, you were alone. No band behind you, your brother wasn't there to protect you, and everyone hated you, for no good reason.

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As you sat down in the paddock, Toto gave you a look of pity.

"How's my favourite popstar?" He smirked, trying to cheer you up.

"Disgraced," you groaned, and leaned your head against his shoulder. Mercedes had been like a second family to you, you'd met everyone back when you were 14, just about to start a tour after a song you posted online went viral. Your first stop was Silverstone, playing for so many people made you want to run and hide instead of play, but Lewis and Toto had helped you out, calmed you down, and you'd smashed it. It skyrocketed your fame, and got you an extended record deal.

He sighed. "Not for long. Don't let the boys win, it's always a boy's world."

You chuckled. "Thanks Toto."

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Oscar jogged out of the McLaren garage as WINGS walked in. Logan had promised to let him stay at Williams if the band were too much for him, and he'd just had to listen to Charles O'Brien talk to his race engineer about how it was to fuck you. He felt sick to his stomach, and he didn't have anything else to do ahead of today, so off he went.

"Oscar!" Lewis's voice rung out and Oscar stopped in his tracks, turning to see where it was coming from. "Come here!"

Oscar walked over, confused by the sentiment. Lewis and Oscar didn't often speak before races. He walked over all the same, and there you were. Standing beside him looking gorgeous and flawless, and he knew he was fucked.

"Hi, I'm Y/n," you held out your hand to be shaken, and he did so with vigour, almost squeezing too hard.

"I'm Oscar," he smiled, then dropped your hand.

"See, I am a miracle worker," Logan's voice appeared out of nowhere, and Oscar whipped his head around to see him smirking. "I'm Logan," he introduced himself to you with a handshake which you reciprocated. "Oscar is basically in love with you and your music-"

"Mate!" Oscar tried to cover his mouth, but Logan was already in a laughing fit, as Lewis laughed with him. "I am so sorry about him, he's-"

"It's alright," you smiled. "It's honestly just nice to know that not every WINGS fan hates me now."

He frowned. "I'm really sorry about the break, it must've been awful."

You shrugged. "It was what was best for the band."

"I seriously doubt that. You were like, more than half the reason anyone ever listened," he chuckled. "You're amazing."

You felt yourself heat up. "Thank you. I think you're a pretty amazing driver."

"You watch F1?" He asked.

"Oh yeah, Lewis would kill me if I didn't," you chuckled. "It's also just really interesting, and congratulations on being like, the best rookie of all time."

He blushed and smiled. "Thank you."

You heard a camera snap and the small moment you two were having was ruined. Lewis and Logan had left you two to chat, and obviously now it looked... strange to say the least.

"God, I'd better go, sorry. You probably don't want to be seen with me-"

"I'd rather formulate my own opinion on you, rather than listen to what everyone else is saying. Do you want to go for a walk?"

You smiled, a real, genuine smile. "Yeah, that'd be lovely."

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"So... how are you?" he asked as you walked through the crowds of people.

"I'm alright," you answered hesitantly. "Charles isn't making anything easy."

Oscar sighed. "He's definitely not an easy person to be around."

"You met him?"

"For about 5 minutes before I had to leave so I wouldn't punch him," he chuckled.

You laughed. "He's good at first impressions."

"Evidently," Oscar smirked.

"Yeah it just sucks that he aired all that shit out y'know? It's just... so unfair, especially when the court case is still being pieced together by our lawyers-"

"Wait, what? What do you mean 'court case'?"

"I'm suing him, he assaulted me," you shrugged.

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry," he stopped and took your hand. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

You stopped for a moment. In the last 72 hours, no one had apologised, no one had checked in, and no one had been so heartbroken for you. Did he have to be perfect?

"T-thank you," you sniffled. "I'd better go, it was nice to meet you, b-bye Oscar."

Oscar was left standing outside Ferrari as you walked off to the Mercedes garage. He felt awful, no one should have that happen to them, and you were so sweet and kind, he almost couldn't believe someone would take advantage of that. He knew one thing though, he needed to see you again.

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comments

hater56: why is lewis still hanging out with her....

hater52: LEWIS RUN

hater79: lewis get away from the slut plz

oscarpiastri: ❤️❤️❤️❤️

-> lewishamilton: out of my comment section now.

-> y/nyl/n: stfu lewis

hater67: how is she still famous?

alexalbon: PLZ LET HER SWING BY WILLIAMS

-> logansargeant: I SECOND THIS ^^^^^

-> y/ny/l/n: omw rn

-> oscarpiastri: same. (just a conincidence)

-> logansargeant: 🧐🧐🧐

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comments

hater77: she's so annoying, why does he like her?

-> oscarpiastri: girl. have you seen or meet her? THAT'S WHY

user66: This is insane.

alexalbon: nurse he's out again! -> logansargeant: he's scoping out Williams to find her. come back soon plzzzz

lewishamilton: it was embarrassing...

georgerussell: good luck with keeping away from you @/y/ny/l/n !

-> y/ny/l/n: 👍👍👍👍

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Oscar walked into Williams with one objective, to see you. He needed to talk to you again. As he was searching, he finally bumped into you.

"You found me," you smiled.

"I did," he smiled. "And I was wondering if you'd want to talk more."

"Well, right now I have to get to Mercedes," you explained and he deflated slightly. "But I can give you my number and we can get dinner sometime?"

He was elated.

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Months of texting and dating, healing with Oscar, getting into the studio, and finally, your next single was ready. It was called 'Labyrinth', and it was about how Oscar had turned everything around for you. He was perfect. Kind, a gentleman, funny, sweet, everything. You loved him. He loved you.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[enniewritesathing]

discussion post #2 (i think?)

This may have been a small update but More Things happened and we gotta talk about it. (Or, I'm gonna talk about it.) More like a ramble, really.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Speculation? Let's talk about it. 🤔

Behind the Scenes stuff:

first off, I wouldn't have the ability to even remotely do ANY of this part without @anothersimsstory's CC conversions and I'm glad I had the foresight of downloading it when I did. (they didn't delete their shit or anything but you know how it is sometimes) and the monitor by Theraven (I don't think they have a tumblr? they have a forum tho), and the EKG leads by @jellypawss. It really pays to make niche CC!!

I had to make swatches for the monitor since it is an important visual thing... but it was wholly contingent on me finding something that's close to actual vital signs and I looked everywhere but they were all stock images and obviously didn't work for what I needed. I then had to search high and low for for it, but I found it. For real!! I had to use TWO laptops (one for settings and the other for the actual monitor) and I screenshotted it, slapped it into paint to save it, make it a swatch, rinse/repeat for I think 15? idk how many

you may think, Ennie, that's a bit much, and I say, my attention to detail game is insane when it doesn't need to be but dammit, the visuals have to make sense from a glance. That and the offchance of someone who knows read the monitor would point something out about it. That said! I tried parcing out what EtCo2 is but all I got from it is was "high number bad".

seriously, I spent... a Stupid amount of time setting that up. 🅱️lease clap for me -- I can safely say that I don't think anyone else would go that far.

I told myself after finishing The Incident I was not gonna be doing 5/6 rigs all in one shot again. (🤡)

The lighting situation drove me up the damn wall and after a point, I just said fuck it. What I didn't anticipate was the stark contrast of John and The Werewolf talking and the memory in terms of setting. It's really cool, I think.

I fretted over this part the whole time because I didn't know what order I wanted and what I was going for, but I think I escalated it properly.

For The Werewolf's veins, I had to do the ol' S4S shuffle, but they are a combination of 3, maybe 4 and ofc had to make outfits for the progression, which is why he's still rocking the half-sleeve look (and from an age/timeline stand point makes him 21/22ish). You know what, let's look at them again!

it's a good look

Speaking of... I had to make a lot of The Werewolf solo poses and I found out that uh, it's all in the brows; they can completely change the meaning. It's bad enough with the angles and the general body language. (Or maybe not? Eh.)

Another visual thing -- The Big Scene... that one, I had going back and forth with it until I decided going all white for The Werewolf's eyes (or lack of pupils). It was far more striking and way scarier than the 'blank' eyes I tend to go with.

seriously, I contemplated on tagging it as a jump scare.

Oh! and the shaking of 3 pics, that was spur of the moment because I really kept going back into the post and something was just missing. I have a (cracked) PhotoMosh and I played with the setting a bit and bingo.

It is probably my favorite post so far. I had to settle with the fact that it's not gonna be the one to be spread around. Or any of it really.

Story Stuff:

There's so many crumbs in this! So. Many. There's even a loaf of bread or two. If you tell me what you're picking up on and you're on some kind of track, you get a cookie (🍪). (I'm serious, btw)

John's clearly shook. This may be the first time we've really seen him like this. And The Werewolf is nonchalant... (I will admit John looks very pretty when he's like this lol)

...or is he? I think there are more cracks in the dam than you'd think. A while back in a post that's somewhere on this blog, but John has a tendency to play with his hands when he's anxious.

Another thing that I just noticed is that they didn't really look at each other; I wonder what that's all about?

I've said it once and I'll say it again; even though they share the same body, John and The Werewolf look very different from one another, and I think that's neat.

Jordan being real about taking advantage of the fact that they're getting paid $$$ and they'd be dumb to not take up the offer.

I had to remember that Brian did not know John was a werewolf at this point in time, or even begin to really put 2+2 together. I call it a bit of genre blindness, helped by the fact that this didn't happen all the time. He just rolled with it. Also, wow he looks very young without his tats; ofc this was the college years and he was beginning to fill out/eating good.

Mark is the smartest dude in the whole story. He said, nope, nuh uh, I'm OUT. IYKYK.

There were so many pics I wanted to take of Daniel punching The Werewolf right in the solar plexus (or thereabouts it might've been slightly lower than that). As they say in the FGC, he failed to block that overhead.

I'm glad I decided to leave in the fact that The Werewolf couldn't see too well.

The Werewolf blew his vocal cords out screaming. He said that shit with his soul. Rarely do I go with the funky text with him since that's his "big scary werewolf" voice (that and he rarely speaks like that). My man said "I'll make you suffer my pain." Beautiful. Can't wait to see how that plays out.

That said, The Werewolf did work himself up to the point of nearly killing himself on accident. But as Charles predicted, his body hit the emergency button and shut that shit down.

I spent the most time worried about this part because it needed to get the point across without it being so... cheesy?

also, I have to say? The Werewolf is a Swearwolf. *rimshot*

The Fucking Around part has ended... The Finding Out part is really going to be fun to watch. (I mean, you can already do this if you haven't but now you have way more context.)

There's something about The Werewolf that's becoming apparent (to us). He's still holding back on his actual feelings. Not only that... he hasn't gotten to John himself and I think that's where it's really gonna go down. John knows this; he's not naive to think that he didn't have a role in all of this too. Something to think about.

Charles is a flat out Nasty Man (very derogatory) and yet, I kinda enjoy writing it.

I do love how he is formal with names, "dear ____" and referring to John's formal name Johnathan.

which I always forget this mfer is named Johnathan. Nobody calls him that.

[cherry1232]

W E L C O M E PAGE

H E L L O ! My name is grape juice and this is my get to know me page!! Down on the bottom of this welcome page is FAQ/All About Me and Boundaries!!

Here are some of my main fanfictions that are mainly posted on Archive of Our Own!!

Poison Ivy | T.M.N.T. Magic Mountain AU

Grape Juice's Bad Things Happen Bingo Series

My Caard and Commission Sheet!

FAQ/Fun Facts About Me!! I am 21 years old and a junior, about to be a senior, in college and am majoring in elementary education! Along with writing, I dabble in art and baking, so there are a few fanarts on this page, along with my M.M. (Magic Mountain) AU's Michelangelo!! My favorite shows besides Rise are, TMNT 2003, TMNT 2012, Demon Slayer, One Piece, Call the Midwife, and the Chosen!! I am a practicing Roman Catholic, and though I'm a devout Christian, I am pretty open minded about a lot of things, including the LGBTQ+ Community!! I am neurodivergent, and in specifics, have autism spectrum disorder!! I am straight, and go by she/her pronouns, and am an afab (female at birth!)

Boundaries: 1. TCESTER's and Pro Shippers DNI!! You're gross if you support TCEST... 2. Minors do not message me trying to build a friendship. I am 21, you are a minor/still a child, it does not matter if you are a month away from turning 18, or if you say you are 17, please do not message me wanting to build a relationship. It's not that I'm a predator, I just do not feel comfortable talking to minors and strangers online, safety is important!! 3. When doing a commission (see my caard for more information), do not ask me to do: a. NSFW b. Turtlecest c. Gore d. Blood e. Mecha 4. Please do not private message me links to unknown websites, and do not message me links to corn websites (if you get my gist). Or I will block and report you for sexually explicit videos, you do not know if I am a minor or not if you haven't seen this page, and that would be considered c.p. if I was a minor, and illegal!! 5. Please do not private message me when to update fanfictions and do not message me to do any art requests, if you want something done, commission me. 6. Also, please do not comment, pm me, rude, anti-Christian/anti-Catholic content and messages. Do not put these in my ask box or I will block and report you for hate speech!! 7. Also, please do not hestiate to reach out to let me know if my works have been reposted, plagiarized, etc, or if you are in need of support!! Otherwise, please check out my requests, art, etc on here and on my ao3 account!!

Disclaimer: Please do not repost, trace, copy, plagiarize, or steal any of my works of writing, fanfiction, and art! I will ask in either commenting, private messaging, and even putting in your ask box, upon discovery, to delete the work. Believe me, I almost copied someone's work before they messaged me saying that it was like their own, that was actually how Hug was created (again thank you @michan-starweaver for saving me from getting into huge trouble and allowing me to create Hug by doing so by giving me ideas)I ended up deleting the post once realizing it. Failure to do so will result in the following:

Blocking Reporting

So please, just delete the work and come up with something else using your creativity and imagination!!

[kharmii]

Are People This Scared?

DISCLAIMER: For any autists reading....this post is heavily more about me taking the piss than actually being mad.

I had this exchange today:

I'm not sure if I should have to delete the post, btw. It's not actually a repost, rather, it's a way to get around people on Twitter who don't like you reposting their work. You just hit the Twitter link option, and the post shows up on your page with a link beneath it. I'll delete it anyway to be polite because I said I would on my pinned post.

(The following post isn't the post in question, which I deleted, it's just an example I yanked from Twitter just now).

-So I think identical twincest is hot. BIG WHUP. It's not like you'd watch an episode of Criminal Minds, and the profilers would say the likely serial killer is a biological female into twincest. That never happens. I get not being into proshipping though. I just like the ONE STUPID THING....hot twins banging. That doesn't mean I'm into playing stupid fetish bingo on Tumblr or finding out who the ralts line artists on Twitter are irl so I can eat their brains.

Meanwhile, on the blankshipping tag.....

The human represents Ingo, and the horse, Emmet because Emmet is always the animal.

Meanwhile, on the trainwreckshipping tag, there's that one goofy goober who was like, "Why do antis think we are toxic!?!?!11!? I only do fwuffy wuffy poo trainwreck! -And I'm totally not into proshipping because I'm an exemplary human being! I'm not some sort of WEIRDO who is into twincest or the whole fucking reason trainwreckshipping was invented in the first place, ffs.....like that whole deal about Emmet being mad about his bro and wanting to fight Volo."

Same person proceded to upload a trainwreck fic on AO3 where Emmet was a two-dick snake man who broke one of Volo's ribs constricting him during sex. Well, la-de-da, Princess Fandumb Morality. Maybe a boring, lifeless Kharmii fic has characters with only one dick, and there's no omegaverse. Maybe The Kharmii likes to write about a guy fucking his own brother, but not just any swol lumberjack sawing logs in his own brother's ass. Oh no......they specifically have to be identical twins because twincest is hot. That doesn't make me a bad person irl.

[whatyourusherthinks]

The Substance Review

What did I know about The Substance before the movie released? That it was weird and Dennis Quaid was in it. Yeah that's it. I did learn before I watched it that it was a body horror movie, which I wasn't excited about. I'm not ashamed to admit that I don't like body horror. It's just gross. Doesn't that mean you're a bad person to review this movie? I mean, I guess. But you're still here anyway. Besides, a great movie would be able to convince someone who doesn't really like the genre that it is good.

What's The Movie About?

Demi Moore is an older (I hesitate to call her old, she's like 50.) exercise television show host who gets let go because Dennis Quaid is ageist and she takes a drug that gives her a second, younger body to relive her glory.

What I Like.

This movie is if David Cronenberg shot an Edgar Allen Poe story in an Apple Store that's simultaneously shooting a Brazzers video. YES! What? What are you screaming about? You just used a weirdly sexual metaphor to describe the movie! I just have one more square on my Bingo card left to fill! Oh shut up Buggnutz! Get the hell outta here! Anyway, it was funny that the movie started by telling me it won the Cannes Film Festival Award or something for best screenplay. Which is true, the screenplay is really good. The metaphor of the movie is about beauty standards and rekindling your youth, and the story itself was pretty interesting. The directing is fabulous, the way shots are framed, the way the female body is showcased, and the close ups and sounds design create the perfect uncomfortable atmosphere. The effects are perfectly disgusting as well. Impressively, none of the gore grossed me out so much I couldn't watch. Nah, it was a cooking scene that made me feel like I was gonna hurl and had to leave the theater during. I really like Demi Moore's and Margaret Qualley's acting. It is mostly physical and face expressions, and it's pretty damn impressive. Dennis Quaid being a massive asshole was something I need to see too, so thanks for that.

What I Didn't Like.

However, this movie could have used a little more dialogue. I didn't really understand if Demi Moore and Margret Qualley were actually the same person, or if they were two versions of the same person with a connected biological functions. Both of them act like the other is doing things that the other has no memory of, but they also have these nightmare that would require them to know what the other person is up to. It's confusing and I think it is to hid the fact that it is inconsistent. But what kills this movie is it is too long. BINGO! SHUT UP! Seriously, you can shave like 15, maybe even 30 or 40 minutes off the movie by doing two things. One, delete the repetition. They repeat the rules of the Substance like 4 times. I understand that the main character, for whatever reason, doesn't understand that breaking the rules is what is causing her to wither away, but I figured it out the first time it happened! The second thing is the ending. They ending is totally stretched out. Some of it was kinda fun, like when Monstro was revealed on stage, but most of it was just unnecessary.

Final Summation.

I fully admit my rejection of this movie is because this was long and I don't like this kind of movie. That's not fair! And I don't care! Look, if my description of the movie sounds like something that you'd be into, check it out. I hope you take this approach with all of my reviews honestly, I am not and will never seriously claim to be the absolute authority on what movies are good and which ones aren't. But I never want to see this again.

[twi-writes]

keep flipping back and forth between leaving this blog dormant or continuing to try and post little things on it to fill the Void™ between hyperfixations 

[lemonyyellowboi]

addressing the couch situation ie raf's couch in sonny's office situation

please do excuse the style I'm super unhappy with this show right now lolll also full disclosure i only fully watched 2 eps+read some news articles & reddit posts of season 23 and i'll put my complaints in the endnote

⋯

Endnote: if you are someone who thinks olivia & svu writers literally can do nothing wrong heyhowareyou...then this might not be for you ;-)

TL;DR Obviously, these are not personal attacks against anyone's fav per se, I know they're all written by the writers. And I for one am not a writer, I did not conceive any of those characters, and my opinions are not valid uwu.

And the world sucks right now, I hope everyone is still hanging in there.

The 500th ep:

Watched this one to get the couch scene. Turns out it was a deleted scene. *sighs

Am I mistaken, or for some reason, with half a million dollars budget, S*U cannot find someone to write a fully-fledged, self-contained, coherent, and reasonable story that would last the whole 40 minutes? For their important milestone episode?

On the other hand, the delivery is just so cringe, like they (the characters) are all pretending to like each other and be excited about their reunion. Why is Nick here, he doesn't have to be here, just to be trashed, again? All the reddit Stabler simps want him instead, may as well, but I don't really care.

On Liv's (yet another, is that really necessary, why are there so many) past fuckbuddy "mask off"...yikes. It feels like just another non sequitur to be added to the Benson Trauma Bingo Card™ and never mentioned again. (I heard there's some age gap inconsistency, hmm.) And for all her readiness-to-call-everyone-a-victim-to-be-coddled she completely dismisses any implication of herself being one (like it's a bad thing and I'm so good it couldn't possibly be me) is some serious psychological issue that's never gonna be addressed. Well, I supposed it was also like this with William Lewis.

The Barba ep:

I hope they would leave Rafael alone.

In principle, I understand why he has to come back as a defense attorney. I've made this point on twitter before, the big guest spots in an ep are usually the victim, the perp, and the defense. And I sure don't want the other two for him. I can even excuse him just going straight to Rita style, we knew he's been having shady side business after all.

But, BUT, the reasons, the motives--two of them now if we count Sightless--are just so lame. He takes this case so he could go easy on Liv on the witness stand despite...professional integrity? And how does he even know about this case in advance before it even goes to trial in such detail that would propel him to do that? Who's tipping him off?

That said, I really don't know much about that case, I don't watch OC or any other eps and both sides suck IMO they can just have a fistfight downstairs at the courthouse, see if I care lolll. Weasley *really* should stop touching Raf. (and I know his name, the misspelling is intentional)

Also, I hate how Liv talks to Rafael now. It was like this also in Sightless, very--have to buzz the buzz word-- gaslight-y. Only she can turn a blind eye to the wrongdoing of whoever she deemed empathize-worthy that day; only she can bend the law to suit whatever agenda she's having at the moment. "I don't trust you," she says. Well, she says that to everyone who happens to piss her off that day. That sounds nothing but emotional blackmail, everyone who values her trust and thinks they are normally trusted is subjected to this, Nick, Amanda, and Rafael specifically. (Weirdly never Sonny, they don't have that kind of relationship IMO.) And it's a shitty move.

She is also increasingly condescending to her colleagues which...

I saw someone on twitter asserted something along the line of "how DARE they think they are entitled to help Olivia Benson", to which I say, it is this kind of thinking that enables that kind of behavior.

Anyways, we get 2 seconds of barisi eye contact so I'll take this W.

[cloverfics]

moving on ; miya atsumu

warnings not edited, break ups, and some awkward moments

genre angst, college au

word count 1.3k

inspiration n/a

synopsis in which you stop by your ex's place to get the last of your things, putting the last nail in the coffin for the both of you

This was a bad idea, not only you said this but your best friend who had told you multiple times, had said this. But you couldn't just leave them there. And it was definitely out of the question to return to you and Atsumu's messages and awkwardly ask him to drop off your stuff.

You shuddered at the sole thought of it.

Though, as you stood in front of his familiar apartment door, memories flooding back, you considered the latter. No matter how awkward or selfish it was.

The longer you stood at a stand still, those memories began to rage. From the first time you walked up to it. To all the lighthearted times Atsumu held you against it, the both of you laughing and giggling as he would place butterfly kisses all over your face, never forgetting that sensitive spot on your neck.

And of course you couldn't forget the pouring night you and him put the final nail in the coffin for your relationship.

Now that, made you shudder.

You didn't like recalling that moment. It still felt fresh considering it was just two weeks ago. But it just came back whenever you thought you had finally rid your mind of Atsumu completely. It flooded you with guilt and a smidge of regret, even though the split was mutual.

Thankfully, there were no tears shared. The realization hit you when had got back to your own apartment, in dry clothes and warm sheets, your best friend convinced you to immediately delete all your pictures with him. You still remember vividly the salty tears that welled up in your eyes.

You always wondered if the same happened to Atsumu when he deleted your photos together too.

"Alright," never did you expect you'd be giving yourself a pep talk outside your ex's door, but here you were. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, preparing yourself like you were about to run miles or score a winning point for your team.

But no, it was none of that. Just preparing yourself to get the last things that connected a string between you and Atsumu.

"You can do this. Just in and out." You inhaled deeply and let it go slower than you anticipated. Why did this have to be so hard?

Finally, shaking off your jitters and doubts, your raised a fist to knock at Atsumu's door. But you practically froze when you heard the stalling of footsteps behind you.

"Uh, ___?" No, no, no. One those balls of your feet, you slowly turned to face Atsumu. He looked confused to say the least. Who wouldn't when their ex of two weeks is at their door?

You cleared your throat. "I—uh— hey, I was just here to— uh— pick up my stuff, you know?" Atsumu's face relieved itself of the confusion, practically saying 'Ah' just by the expression.

"About time," he makes the joke but doesn't full on laugh himself. It misses you with too, a too soon on the tip of your tongue. Though it really wasn't, Atsumu had gotten his stuff from your place last week. You wonder if he had been waiting for your stale text for the past week.

Atsumu clears his throat like you had done. "I should open the door." He whispers and glides past you. Silently, you follow him. Almost letting a quip to retort back to him but you knew you guys were not at that stage of comfortability anymore, far from it. And you bet you guys were never going to reach it again.

You follow him inside and see that many of the lights are already on, so you assume Osamu was inside. The image of him opening the door on you before you could get to knock because he heard your stupid pep talk creeped up on you and you cringed.

Yet his head of brown didn't pop out anywhere to point at you and laugh like he did when you used to do things like that. There was going to be no more that either, the realization made you frown.

You stayed behind Atsumu through the layout of his apartment, walking around here was like second nature to you, you almost had the urge to walk beside him. But you kept you distance, even in his bedroom where you guys would spend sleepless nights talking about anything but nothing at the same time.

"I think it should be over here." Atsumu headed to a corner of his room, definitely referring to a crate or box where he had stored your things. And bingo, he was. The box was quite big like the one your best friend helped you pack with his stuff.

No surprise because this apartment was your second home. First really if you thought about it.

"Here." Atsumu said, but he made to move to hand it over to you. It was like he was soaking up his last moments with your things, and possibly with you.

And it wasn't like you made a move either. Deep down your felt that regret. Walking in here did not help with your want to move on. It just made you realize how much you missed it. How much you missed your relationship, and how much you missed Atsumu.

Only seconds ticked by before Atsumu jutted the box out to you but it felt like hours. You accepted it, muttering a quiet thank you.

"I should get going." You said, it was in a sad tone and you're sure he caught that. You took a single step back to distance yourself.

Atsumu nodded, agreeing silently. He led you out of his room, and without any words, you said good bye to it and to the hallways with the scratches and dents, to the living room where game and movie night would happen, to the kitchen where Atsumu would hover over you whenever you cooked. You'd especially miss the slow dances to old rnb, that was a memory you treasured.

And like you wanted, you were in and out. Standing on the opposite side of the door while Atsumu stood in the threshold. You weren't going to give your self a pep talk this time around, now it was time to say good bye. Not to the door, but to Atsumu.

His eyes were sad, and you could assume yours were too. "So," he started, scratching at his nape.

"So," you copied. There was a silence before Atsumu unexpectedly let out a laugh.

"I'm sorry— it's just— I never imagined us doing this." He took the words right out of your mouth. You and Atsumu used to talk about your future together frequently, especially about marriage. And now those talks would have to be forgotten.

You nodded. "Me either," you smiled weakly. "But it's for the best right? This what we both wanted?"

Was it?

Atsumu's mouth twitched like he wanted to say something different other than, "Right."

Another silence came between you two, which Atsumu shattered again. "I guess I'll see you around campus, yea?"

You hummed. "I'll see you." You edged back a bit, still somehow holding eye contact with Atsumu. The image of you guys having one of those dramatic movie scenes where you just run back into each other's arm and say how much you regretted ever breaking up played in your mind.

But that didn't happen. You finally said goodbye to Atsumu with your eyes, turning away and walking down the hallway for what you expected to be the last time.

Standing in the elevator, you came to terms that breaking up with Atsumu was definitely something you didn't want. Yet, it seemed like things were already set in stone for the both of you.

[iapetusneume]

I'm honestly wondering if people have forgotten/don't know about how bad deleting is. Once upon a time, Fandom_Wank loved that shit. It was like, a spot on a bingo card when following the saga of a specific wank. (I'm mixing my fandom references a bit because I don't think the bingo cards were as much of a thing at that time, but you get my point.)

So, people took screenshots religiously, and would have them saved for when the inevitable deletions happened.

There were and are responsible ways of deleting things without sounding the horns of fandom. The problem was often when someone would do so in an attempt to just stop the drama, and not apologize. (Or of the apology seemed fake.)

If someone has something problematic that they've said, I'll admit I don't know the best way to go forward for that. I mean, obviously we hope for change. But after they've changed, what do they do with the thing floating on the internet?

My point of all of this is, to say "delete the problematic thing" is not as simple as that. It ignores internet/fandom history, and it's a lot more nuanced than that. There is no simple answer that will apply to every person and/or situation.

all of us have been unlearning problematic things - it’s really malicious and in bad faith to purposefully dig up old posts by someone that do not reflect their current opinions and attack them over it out of context

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕