#i'm glad!! and not a problem u vu

[thepapillonnoir]

Comfort

@marichatmay 2022 : Day 1 - Balcony

⚠️Slight Spoilers from S4

Marinette was on her balcony having hot choco while staring at the moon, rethinking her life. She sighed, put her cup on her coffee table, and sat down, now problematically looking down.

"A princess shouldn't be up this late and shouldn't be looking stressed like that," Chat Noir was sitting on the roof looking at Marinette, hoping that she isn't worried excessively and still has hope even if Hawkmoth almost has all the miraculous. That, or maybe, also on what happened the other day according to what Nino explained, and Lila made things even worse after everything. On how he understands the situation with his knowledge about Lila, everyone thought Marinette just hated Lila so much she tried to stop her tour with Adrien, Lila even made more stories to ruin Marinette. He, Chat Noir himself, knew Marinette knows the truth about his life and Lila. She's the only one who he can almost completely be transparent with.

Adrien, of course, tried defending Marinette but no one believed him cause they thought he was just blindly in love back with her.

For everything that happened, he knows he need to check on Marinette.

"And I thought a knight should have more manners than that, normally they don't sneak on princesses," Marinette slightly smiled somehow feeling lighter in Chat's presence.

Chat extended his pole and used it to guide him down to Marinette, "No, are you okay?"

Marinette's face gloomed, "No," she answered as she walked to the balcony rails, followed by Chat. She rested her arms on the rails, now looking at the city, "Have you experienced losing almost everything special for you?"

Chat felt his heart painfully melt looking at Marinette as he remembers the love of his life intensely breaking in front of him, a deja vu on what Marinette asked. Chat thought it was their friends turning their back on this girl as she lost them already cause of Lila. He wanted to comfort her about it immediately and tell her that he was there, but that's what Adrien would do, and already know, he still got to protect his identity.

"Yes, but not literally," he sat on the rails, pursing his lips, "You know when I saw my partner crying because of what just happened..." Chat looked at Marinette with a face like he wasn't supposed to say that, "Don't tell anyone, especially her that I said that," Marinette sort of blushed surprised.

Chat glanced below the building, "Whenever I see her losing herself, I feel like I'm losing my everything too," he said. Marinette was awestruck by what Chat said, on how he deeply treasures her. They looked at each other as the moon shines at them but gently looked back at the city.

"Why Ladybug?" Marinette asked, she thought of it some time why Chat fell greatly in her superhero form and wondered if he has something for her in her civilian form.

"Why she's my everything or?" Chat asking for clearance. The girl's eyes widened with awe as she looked at Chat, her face was slightly turning pink. "U-hm, no, like..." Marinette started to stutter a little but managed it as she looks away from the guy to the city while slightly shaking her head, "O mean why do you like her?"

"Like her?" Chat repeated with a tone of doubt, questioning Marinette with a light giggle, "I'm in love with her," he corrected suddenly serious but in a gentle warm way. Marinette felt the inside of her cheeks getting sweet. "She's very bold at the same time warm, strong but gentle, super resourceful, creative, wise, beautiful..." Chat looked at her, "Sorta like you," he smiled gently as they made eye to eye contact then broke it gently. Marinette felt special.

"Wait... we got far from your problem," Chat realized that they were talking about him instead of why Marinette was gloomy earlier. Even of that, he felt glad to see that the girl's face shined even a little after they talked.

"Oh, that," Marinette smiled but it was a pity smile for herself. She looked at Chat with a cheeky smirk, "Why should I tell you anything? Aren't you supposed to be in patrol anyway?" she teasingly asked with a cynical face.

"Hey! I just told you how much I love Ladybug, a princess should exchange thoughts fairly!" Chat teased back as he made his face closer to Marinette's. They both stare at each other with cynical smiles on their faces then both of them giggled and went back to their original positions.

"Oh please, I can see you on the LadyBlog consecutively flirting at Ladybug," Marinette said giggling her way to her lounge chair and then resting there. Chat Noir followed her, "Hm, I respect it if you don't tell me but tell me if you need help on it or anything, okay?" the hero said warmly, caring so much for Marinette.

"Thanks, and okay, I'll try," Marinette replied as she closed her eyes while yawning. Chat sat on the ground on her left side and close his eyes to relax with her. She finally felt light after a long day of heavy thinking about everything about her double life. She turned to her left side as she was laying down and folded her legs slightly.

Chat felt her movements so he opened his eyes to check on her, noticing that she was on the line to fall into a deep sleep, "Hey, princess, you can't just sleep here outside... it's getting cold" he said, concerned about the girl. Marinette answered gibberish but Chat managed to understand as, "Moon.. very bright, I can, I like it here, just don't leave me, please, I need you, Chat," Marinette unconsciously held Chat's hand which was placed on the armrest of the chair. Chat blushed, "Okay," he whispered as he stood up, gently removing his hand from hers.

He went inside Marinette's room, to her bed to grab her blanket, some pillows, and a mat. He noticed Marinette's board. The other's photos are gone, all left was his photos, some are Luka's, and only one is left for Alya. He felt sad for her and angry at Lila for blabbing lies.

He quickly moved and carried the stuff to the balcony. He gently put a pillow on Marinette's head and another one on her side for her to hug, and covered her body with her blanket. He placed the mat on the ground, with pillows, and there he leaned on the chair again and held Marinette's hand.

He mesmerized Marinette, then felt his heart somehow beating faster but it felt nice.

As Chat was gazing upon the sleeping girl, he carried her hand close to his lips, looked back at Marinette once again, then gently kissed the back of her hand.

He rested his head on the armrest while, again, gazing at her, still holding Marinette's hand. With his other hand, he tucks the girl's hair behind her ear. He always thought that Marinette suits her hair down, always thought that she was beyond charming.

----

This is my favorite ship, so I'll try doing all of it in different ways ❤️

[kyogre-blue]

Djdjjd oh yeah I remember that, I squinted at Diluc like "are you trying to throw me off the trail? Even if it weren't p obvious it's Venti, I'd literally just need to pick up a book and see the discrepancy?" Then I remembered that this is Mr "between eating a cryo slime alive or joining the fatui I'd prefer to be crushed to death by a meteorite" So subtle is, hm, shall we say, Not his middle name. But! If Diluc could indeed be subtle, that could have been the set-up to a diversion so you'd start looking into to what Diluc may be hiding instead of any possibly-the-wind-god-in-disguise candidates! (yes I know it's a typo but I like yarn-spinning :3)

Oh glad to know there was buildup to Azhdaha bc when I played Zhongli's second quest I did feel like the dragon came all but completely out of left field haha... like was I supposed to feel sad when I didn't get the backstory until the very end and Zhongli was so unemotional abt it? Like yeah I know Zhongli's Just Like That but idk, Venti's desesperate "no, listen to me!" still lives rent free in my brain (like yeah he literally says "you don't have to listen to me" in the end cutscene and it's a direct contradiction so they changed the text in the subtitles, but the delivery was amazing. Venti sounded so pained, I'm not even mad about them leaving the soundbit in) and compared to that Azhdaha just felt like an inferior copycat of Dvalin :/ ik I have the bad habit of comparing every region to Mond, but...

Also I had seen a lot of fans talking abt Guizhong so I came out of the quick-start lantern rite expecting her to at least get mentioned on his story quests lmfao, silly me. Though I may have just been inatentive bc there was like. 0 incentive in archon quest to explore liyue and I had been actively holding back on exploring bc I felt salty about being used like a cheap rag by EVERYONE throughout the ENTIRETY of the archon quest (except for Xiao and the adepti I guess, thank u funny pompous supernatural animals u kept it real) so I was like "you're asking me how do I find this region without an absentee archon? well I wouldn't be able to tell you bc I'M NOT GONNA FIND OUT. Bitch." I feel a bit dumb though because I DID do The Secret of Nantianmen before the Zhongli quests but I have absolutely no recolection of the infodump. Like, straight up, reading through the screenshots with the weird blue haired girl and not getting even deja vu. I remebered the tree bc it's blue-veined and huge and there was a hecking seelie I lost like twice on the branches, but not anything abt the dragon rip.

Djdjdj fair, I have heard THINGS about inazuma and raiden ei (especially from my sister, who's behind me in story despite starting several months earlier bc she's vehemently avoiding inazuma lmfao) but idk, I guess I just like picking up the shiny bits and holding them to the light. Sure, there's stuff I dislike about every region! But there's stuff I like about every region too! I try to focus on that :) reading your posts is super interesting for a more critical perspective though! (And yknow it's actually refreshing for someone to actually give the sideye to Zhongli, instead of the 1000th "haha venti cares more about getting drunk than Mondstadt" abyssmal take)

Wow though, the archon quest ending without removing the sakoku decree is REALLY awful though—I was already feeling like they were pushing it too much by forcing you to do both raiden story quests to unlock literally ANY inazuma characters, but they're pushing it even MORE? And is it me or does Inazuma have, aside from NPC-itis, a subset of the same problem in liyue that it's hard to get attached to the characters? You're basically forced at gunpoint to get close to Ayaka, and Thoma left a. rather bad first impression, shall we say, by leaving you stranded in Ritou with no way to get out. and by act 3 we've barely even met the major players in the war, like Gorou (I like him bc he's fluffy and obviously cares abt his men, and I've had him for a couple of months so I was excited abt finally meeting him, but still) Sara and Kokomi. I was more interested in Kazuha bc I thought the prologue did a fairly good job setting up who he is, what he wants, what he believes in (plus I outright cackled at his intro by beidou djdjdj) but he's literally not even relevant in his own region's archon quest? Straight up vanished until the very end of act 2? Why?? And now you tell me that literally none of what he tells us in the prologue ends up ever being relevant? like what the heck was hoyo thinking :/ that many red herrings with no payoff should be illegal

I have been told (cannot confirm) that Zhongli actually emotes in other languages, but the EN dub is... hahaha.

Anyway, there's a few things here that I've thought about a lot.

One, Genshin has a really bad habit of only giving you context AFTER the climax, which renders the entire quest preceding it just floating meaninglessly in the wind and leaves the actual climax with no impact cause you haven't gotten the context for it yet. Venti's quest is like that (as much as I enjoy it), Zhongli's quests are largely like that, Inazuma archon quest is like that, etc. This is a really obvious tell for the writers being too amateur to pace/structure their story correctly, the writers having no time to do a second draft to fix the pacing issues, or both.

Two, Azhdaha is a massive writing disaster not just in terms of the quest's pacing (let's spend the entire time on tracking down some miners... what is buildup or foreshadowing), but especially in terms of its message and implications. A developer interview video explicitly says that Azhdaha is meant to be a nature vs human progress aesop. And it ends with... "nature" (Azhdaha) being sealed away while suffering endlessly ("A thousand years of pain!") and going "no, you're right, I totally deserve to be sealed away, do it," while the humans learn nothing and face no repercussions for the damage they have done for now generations. (Seriously, there are multiple instances where Liyue's mining caused supernatural problems. It just keeps happening.)

Is this how you do a nature aesop. Is it really.

There is also a throughline in Genshin about the gods doing third party racism on behalf of humans. You get to Azhdaha and he is basically tortured by reckless human expansion and yet it's all his fault and he's the only one who faces consequences. You get the oni in Itto's quest, who have to make bizarre concessions to live with humans. You get the vishaps being a sentient race and the original native population of Teyvat, but due to the gods, they've been forced into the underground and mutated due to contact with the Abyss. Even Dvalin, while it's still okay with him because that's not the focus of his story, we never get the people of the city acknowledging him as more than a monster, which would have been nice, since the whole thing was kicked off by them rejecting him.

I really don't like it because people don't need to be coddled like this. They should be made aware of their mistakes and learn to be better.

Three, Inazuma is a hilarious mess.

See, every nation's story is about the archon. The archon is the most important character and the one we're supposed to care about the most. They're the heavy weight banner that's both meta as fuck AND emotionally appealing. Venti is obvious, but even Zhongli is like... the one actual character in Liyue, who is around the most and has the most complexity and impact.

But then we get to Inazuma. Ei is the final boss, so we can't buddy up with her. We don't even see her except in two boss battles, and then she dumps out her backstory in a poorly integrated animation and the story ends.

And then, the very next thing, is we go on a date with her around town. She likes sweets! She doesn't know what fiction is! She needs you, the player, you stud, to teach her about life! Isn't she so waifu?

And a good chunk of the player base went, "excuse me, what the hell."

The writers really wanted you to go "so maybe she caused a civil war and untold suffering with her negligence and selfishness, but have you considered... I love her??" And that's fine and normal. Fans do that, I do that. Insert Legend of Galactic Heroes meme.

The problem was that the writers did not bother writing Ei into the archon quest enough for people to feel anything for her. They did the opposite, they wrote a whole lot about how much all these NPCs are suffering. So naturally, what people care about is those NPCs and their suffering.

Which Ei's story quests entirely skip over. It's just never addressed.

This gets pretty funny if you look at Sumeru because the writers were obviously aware of the issue, and they tried to patch over it.

You see Nahida a lot in the Sumeru archon quest. She's around for a bunch of the stuff going on. The thing is, Nahida is SO able to move around and do her own thing that it begins to cause dissonance with the narrative they give her (CAGED BIRD METAPHOR). We're concerned later that she got "caught" by Dottore, but this doesn't correlate with freeing her from the Sanctuary of Surasthana. I believe we don't even discuss it until after Dotorre? Because before that, she's just too able to do stuff, so it doesn't really feel like she's locked up.

But the Sages sealing her is then treated like their worst crime (even though they just inherited the situation lol). It's not that they're encouraging people go insane from forbidden knowledge or causing so many scholars to have emotional breakdowns from the pressure or mistreating the desert people. Oh no, we're against them because they were mean to Nahida. But Nahida... was cool with it basically? She could travel around, she could talk to people, she was too fine for this to be impactful even if logically it wasn't nice.

Don't even ask why we're so set on making her the archon ruler. I don't think we even ask her if she wants to do that.

The writers made Nahida present in the story a whole bunch, but they didn't really make her a good character. If anything, her presences raises a whole lot of questions while not contributing much.

(It worked tho, people are totally up in arms about their "radish daughter.")

It's similar for everyone else in Sumeru. They're around a whole lot. But the emotional core of the story is still pretty much entirely NPCs. It's Dunyarzad, it's Setaria, it's the kid whose keeper grandpa was taken, it's Rahman. They're the ones who actually care about what's going on and emote about it.

People say Sumeru is better writing, but imo it's just longer. The core issues are pretty much all the same, just dragged out and more tedious.

[chvrliesapcet]

ever since olivia rodrigo released her debut album, SOUR, i have been listening to it on repeat (totally not kidding). so, after seeing a girl on tiktok do something like this, but with the avengers, i was inspired to make this post. there you go:

the poets as olivia rodrigo’s songs.

trigger warning: mention of su*c*de and mental health issues.

brutal: all of them. they’re teenagers, insecure sometimes, trying their best, but sadly not living the teenage dream (what is it, that fucking teenage dream, anyway?). “if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth, " i’m gonna cry” and they can’t quit what they’re doing, because their parents would most likely be hurt. “and they'd all be so disappointed 'cause who am if, if not exploited?” they once recited the lyrics of this song as a poem, during one of their meetings, and they were all laughing their asses off. life at hell-ton is brutal, what can i say?

traitor: knox, of course. “god i wish that you had thought this through, before i went and fell in love with you” or “guess you didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor” just hit different for him. he thinks about chris when he listens to this song, that’s for sure..! we can’t really blame chris for knox falling in love with her though,, sorry buddy.

drivers license: knox, again. poor boy listens to this song while riding his bike, crying his eyes out. “but today i drove through the suburbs, crying 'cause you weren't around” chris isn’t with that blonde girl, she is that blonde girl. knox has never felt this way for no one, and it’s hard for him to imagine that chris is, well, doing okay without him. he thinks and talks about her all the time. “and all my friends are tired of hearing how much i miss you, but i kinda feel sorry for them 'cause they'll never know you the way that i do”

1 step forward, 3 steps back: todd. like many people (including me!) when he listens to this song, he doesn’t necessarily think of a past relationship (mostly because he has never dated anyone before neil). he thinks of his mental health struggles, such as his anxiety, instead. it’s hard, sometimes. he thinks he’s getting better, but then realizes he isn’t.. “got me fucked up in the head, boy. never doubted myself so much. like am i pretty, am i fun boy? i hate that i gave you power over that kinda stuff” need i say more? this song is as soft, but as sad, as he is.

deja vu: keating. this is.. kind of a joke, but only because i didn’t know who to pair this song with. john was an original member of the dead poets society, and knowing that now, other teenage boys are taking turns reading poetry, in the old indian cave, reminds him of his teenage years. “so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too? she thinks it's special, but it's all reused. that was our place, i found it first” olivia’s music isn’t the type of music he normally listens to, but after hearing students (the poets) talk about her album, during his class, he decided he’d give it a try. he likes it. he loves the lyrics, mostly.

good 4 u: CHARLIE. he loves screaming the lyrics to this song. especially the bridge and the last chorus. “LIKE A DAMN SOCIOPATH!” cameron has to beg him to turn the volume down,, he doesn’t listen to him, obviously, and instead turns the volume up. his argument? ‘this song is meant to be played loud!’ to which cameron responds ‘but not that loud! i’m trying to study!’ he thinks looking at his roommate directly in the eye when singing “baby, what the fuck is up with that?” exactly the way olivia does is funny. cameron just rolls his eyes every time, but it’s hard for him to hide the smile taking place on his lips.

enough for you: pitts. although he and stev/phen are both super, super smart, i think meeks is the ‘genius’ of the group. and that, can, sometimes, make pitts feel like he might not be good enough for his boyfriend, whom he loves very much. “and i knew how you took your coffee, and your favorite songs by heart. i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that i was smart” whenever he doubts himself, meeks is the first to reassure him and tell him he’s more than enough, but still.. “'cause all i ever wanted was to be enough for you” he listens to this song with his earphones, always, so no one knows he listens to it on repeat.

happier: meeks. ever since charlie got expelled, he can’t stop listening to this song. these two were pretty close, (“he flatters me, that’s why i help him with latin”) and stev/phen doesn’t like thinking about his friend being in a new school, and spending time with other people. “so find someone great but don't find no one better. i hope you're happy, but don't be happier” he wishes charlie would still be with them, at welton, even if he hated it. “your friends aren't mine, you know, i know. you’ve moved on, found someone new” or “does she mean you forgot about me?” he’s being a bit overdramatic, considering charlie comes to see the poets at least once a week, and still attends the dps meetings.. but anyway.

jealousy, jealousy: cameron, because, yes, he’s smart and everything, but he’s still jealous of other people, and wishes he were different. he thinks he should be like the other guys. “all i see, is what i should be, happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy” he also thinks that, maybe then, people would like him more </3. he knows no one really hates him, but feels like no one really likes him, either. and in his opinion, it’s because he’s.. him. “I'm so sick of myself, i’d rather be, rather be, anyone, anyone else” just like mr. k, this type of music isn’t what he usually listens to, but he relates to this song so much, he can’t help but listen to it at least once a day.

favorite crime: neil. just like todd, he doesn’t associate this song with a relationship he had in the past. actually, he thinks of his father (and his mom, a bit, too) and all of the things his dad forces him to do, even if it upsets him. “those things i did, just so i could call you mine. the things you did, well, i hope i was your favorite crime” i know we don’t usually talk about the canon ending, but i have to. mr. perry didn’t want his son to pursue his dreams, and planned neil’s life for him, which made him feel so miserable, he sadly committed su*c*de.. but then, his dad wasn’t blamed for it, to preserve his reputation. “and i watched as you fled the scene, doe-eyed as you buried me, one heart broke, four hands bloody” todd knows this was neil’s favorite song. he listens to it once in a while, in their room, alone, and cries.

hope ur ok: all of them. do they know how proud i am they were created? after all they’ve been through, especially their family problems, i’m glad they found each other. “she was tired 'cause she was brought into a world where family was merely blood” and even when life throws bad things at them, they always stay strong, and support each other through everything. they’re very brave. “well, i hope you know how proud i am you were created, with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred” i love them, my beautiful poets <33

[potatotrash0]

Oh? You've been into Childhood alternative universes lately?*slides Mastermind Nagito file back and pulls seperate piece of paper out* Let's work with that. *sits in the worn down swivel chair that I imagine myself keeping in this hellscape of a fictional office* Now :).

Hinata and Nagito first met when they were six. Nagito was still sick at this time, so his parents were taking him to a doctor in a different country in hopes of being able to treat him. Nagito was sitting on a street corner waiting as some of the servants packed up the car for their plane trip, when he notices a little boy with the greenest eyes and the oddest cowlick crying on the other side of the street. When he goes up to the child to ask what's wrong, he sees the big scrape on his knee, and the busted skateboard lying next to him. Nagito offers a hand to him. "Komaeda Nagito. Need some help?" He says with a smile that wasn't yet tainted with anxiety and despair. The kid crying grabs the hand, still bursting at the seams with his tears, and manages to say "H-hinata Hajime." in a shaky voice. When Hajime's taken inside for a glass of water and bandages, and is able to talk in a less shaky voice, they make a fond promise to hang out when Nagito gets back.

When Nagito gets back from the "trip", Hajime is in absolute shock. This sweet kid who helped him without hesitation had to deal with all this... terrible luck. Hajime does his best to look up ways to feel better, gets a bucket of a water and a handful of chocolates ( drinking water can help stop crying and chocolate can give ranged waves of dopamine [if I remember right]- Hajime doesn't know what dopamine means but it was on a site to help sadness and shit and he's just doin his best), and heads to Nagito's house. He's allowed in, and when he eventually finds Nagito curled up in the corner of his room, he stupidly drops the bucket and chocolates in front of him with a grin. Nagito responds by crawling over to him and crying on his shoulder for seemingly hours, and Hajime lets him.

Nagito was glad he had someone who wouldn't judge him for his "good luck" now.

( afterwards, Nagito says that it was alright, that he heard the servants talking about how it was good luck, since he inherited a large estate, and Hajime says he heard his parents say the same thing, and they both agree that it must have been good luck, since everyone else said so, despite the countless bruises and tears that it caused. Neither of them realize that their views on luck were permanently obscured since then.)

They grow closer after that, and don't seperate once, not as they grow older, not as life beats Nagito inwards which each traumatic event and curls into his beliefs of hope, despair, and talent, not as Hajime realizes he can't save Nagito from himself. Which each day, they grow closer and closer to the hip, practically seamed to each other.

That is, until Hope's Peak academy came into the picture. Nagito and Hajime immediately jumped for whatever chance they had to get in (both reasons are personal, but more tied to the character- Nagito still desires to be amongst the greatest, while Hajime still desires to be remembered [mostly by Nagito, though he doesn't entirely realize that's why].), but when they're still separated by the two courses, that's ywhere the problem lies. You see, Nagito is still an insensitive dumbfuck that doesn't realize how his words affect other people, and when he keeps actively degrading the reserve course students even in front of Hajime, it takes a toll. Hajime starts believing that Nagito hates him because of his status as a reserve course student now, and between the pressure of all the bullshit that happens to him because of his status and now this bs drama, he's willing to pay a price for his affection once again. A price that'll be much too permanent for either's liking.

This is where I add the Kamakura project in. I'm sorry for this upcoming angst shit but I always find my way back here.

When Hajime is presented the Kamakura project, he thinks about being able to join Nagito in the talent course and that Nagito won't be hate him for it anymore. He thinks of Nagito showering him with hugs and praise for finally being able to join him and his classmates. He thinks of the joy it'll bring to Nagito and his parents- but mostly Nagito. He thinks of Nagito, Nagito, Nagito as he signs his name. He didn't think he'd be shoved into a pod. He didn't think he wouldn't be able to see Nagito ever again. As he dies, he thinks about the little boy who offered his hand to him when his other friends left. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. Izuru is born thinking of this boy, and it sticks. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. He doesn't stop thinking of him, even when Enoshima and Ikusaba appeared with their proposition of despair (a part of him told him to not do it, let Nagito keep his hope, this man he couldn't remember), even when Chiaki dies in front of him (he feels... guilty, about her death, but not exactly sorrow. he wonders if he'd feel this way if the sheep man died.).

Nagito realizes who Izuru was when he turned around to aim at him. He saw the cold, dead eyes of this man, and for a moment he saw the boy who remembered him and brought him water and chocolate to help him feel better. The one person Nagito thought couldn't be affected by his luck was gone now. This was how Nagito fell into despair.

They generally stayed together for most of the apocalypse, still attached to the hip, although it was... different now. There were no more subconscious handholding moments as they traveled through the streets. There was no more trying to stop Servant from berating himself. There was no more helping Hinata's injuries. No more ice cream "dates". No more... love, in their presence.

Izuru tells Servant about his plan as they sit together on the boat to Jabberwock. Servant is sitting in the other's lap, stroking their hair as they speak. He responds with expressing his excitement, and Izuru feels a wave of guilt wash over him, though he drowns it out immediately.

Hajime wakes up to see his best friend standing over him. "Hey, Hajime, are you alright?" Nagito says, with a smile tainted with fear and despair as he offers his hand to help him up. Hajime briefly feels a sense of Deja vu, and grabs the offered hand.

(I keep making these too long dkckakkflakfkalfk f u c k)

sobs.........every time you get to the kamukura project i just brace myself bc it hurts like hell 100% of the time without fail......but ahhhhhhh i love this.......

for a moment i thought this was gonna be childhood friends and mastermind komaeda and i nearly had a heart attack?? mmm i’m still buzzing with the ideas but i’ll put it under the cut

just like. hajime finding comfort in having at least one person to rely on in this bizarre situation. komaeda really does ground him, he realizes, but that stability seems to crumble beneath him during that first trial. watching nagito, someone he thought he knew so well, reveal that he had been the one behind this elaborate plan to get himself or someone else killed? there’s no way hajime could okay after that, no way he could look at him the same way.

and he doesn’t, but he doesn’t look at him completely differently either. this komaeda, someone who’s unstable and actively looks forward to the next murder, is still komaeda. he’s still the same guy who goes through whole novels like they’re picture books, who pokes at his food at meal times and has to be nagged at to eat. he’s still nagito. and even if he wanted to, hajime couldn’t find it in himself to just ditch the guy he grew up with for all those years.

so, he reaches out again. gets to know his childhood friend for a second time, relearning his beliefs, his likes, his dislikes. even discovers some things he never noticed before. in a way, they were driven apart, but also brought back together again.

and that’s part of the reason it’s such a shock to see komaeda in monokuma’s place during that last trial, grinning down at them. he looks and sounds like nagito, but he couldn’t be him. someone who put them through all this couldn’t be that same boy who helped him when he fell off his skateboard all those years ago......right?

all of this information, from the world being a simulation to his childhood friend being the one to basically kill all of their classmates, it all throws him off. not to mention that he might not even exist outside of this program. choosing between staying with someone who betrayed him twice over or disappearing entirely........can he even make a decision like that?