#i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things.

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

[salvieslovenotes]

vi who's just a total hot mess...

Don't get me wrong, I love confident Vi who knows exactly what she's doing, a little smug and self-assured that she knows exactly what you like and how to give it to you. Who always has a shadow of a smirk tugging at her lips. But I feel we're sleeping on canon Vi—like that girl was a mess. Did you not see the way she looked at Cait?! My girl is the definition of "sure babe whatever you say".

So here's some little hot mess Vi headcanons I love

She's always bumping into stuff. She's got bruises all over her hips and legs from the amount of times she's caught herself on the table corner or counter top. It's gotten to the point where if there's a cupboard door open on a high shelf, you automatically cover the corner with your hand when Vi's around because she'd pretty much guaranteed to bang her head.

On that note, she's always dropping things. She's not allowed to touch the fancy dinner plates or empty the dishwasher because of it. Every few months you have to buy new glasses because yup, the others are all somehow broken. Again. ("I don't understand where they all go!" Vi complains, genuinely confused "I can't have broken them all.... did I?" Spoiler alert she did, in fact, break them all.)

Still on that note, she trips over everything. Everything, her path could be completely clear and she'd still stumble. It's sort of endearing, like you're leaving your flat and she's tripping over the front mat—"Who the fuck put that there?" She's so indignant it makes you smile. "We did, it's a mat. You know, the thing that goes before a door?"

When undressing you or tugging off her own clothes, she'll inevitably get an arm tangled, or struggle with buttons or a belt buckle. It always makes you both laugh a bit, because she's always so impatient and gets stuck on the smallest things. "Who the fuck invented these?" she laughs, amused at herself, her shaky fingers. But when you try to help she'll whine, "No, no, almost got it." (Half of your clothes end up ripped when she inevitably loses patience.)

She's super clever and can pick up things pretty quickly, but she's always trying to cut corners and experiment to make it "easier." Baking? Who needs all that measuring crap, she can just eyeball it. And sure, the cake tastes amazing, but it also swelled up like a balloon because she accidentally tipped in half the container of baking soda. The fire alarm gets set off at least once a week; now if you smell smoke you just... leave her to it.

She's super into tech and fixing stuff, which means lots of taking things apart, and the odd yelp here and there as she gives herself small electric shocks. One time you come home to smoke wafting through the kitchen, the distinct smell of burning rubber and a very sheepish Vi, who accidentally melted some kitchen utensils. How?! You don't even ask. (After that she has to work in the garage.)

She's always covered in grease from "improving" things on her motorbike. You're terrified every time she takes it for a spin, thinking for sure one of those "improvements" is going to get her in some sort of trouble.

Climbing onto the roof without shoes to fix something, sticking her hand through a dubious hole in the wall without gloves, leaning close to a faulty socket without glasses. "Hey, don't panic Cupcake, what's the worst that could happen, huh?" and you wave a wild hand around "Ugh, you could die?!"

Like sure, she's confident and daring and smirks her way through everything, but also laughs until she chokes, and pulls every "push" door, and basically will fall over her own feet if she's not gripping your hand. She thinks dad jokes are hilarious and doesn't know her way around your neighbourhood even though she literally grew up there. Whenever she's out you'll inevitably get a "hey I'm lost" call. "Where are you?" "Uhhh, like... opposite a post office?" You think for a second, orientating yourself. "Okay, turn so the post office is on your left, and keep walking." There's dubious silence from Vi's end and you sigh, biting back a smile. "Your left, like the hand you write with." "Ohh! Got it, got it..."

In a new city it's even worse, because she refuses to use maps. "Who needs directions when you can have adventure and discovery!!" "Vi, I'd hardly call the red-light district of Paris adventure, I just wanna see the bloody Eiffel Tower!"

Walking out in the sexist outfit ever, tattoos on full display, chains around her waist and looking unholy in steel capped boots, and your mouth has never been so dry in your whole life and "Hey Cupcake, can you help me? The stupid zip is tangled..."

anyway disaster Vi everyone, she has my whole heart

[a-d-nox]

pac: mid-year reflection - what have you accomplished and what should you be working on for the rest of the year?

i'm trying something new, a pick a card. take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: what exists before you that you can't see?

return to the masterlist of pap/pac posts

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!

pile one

accomplished: you have fought past a hard time within your family. you broke free from the expectations and control you felt from them - good for you paving your own path!! you are now ready for the next level. continue to recharge and heal mentally as you prepare yourself for what is next. have faith you did the right thing - there is no going back now. continue to seek out inspiration for actions - and acting accordingly to your inspiration. you are steadily working towards achieving something just for yourself. just remember to remain flexible and have some patience for yourself.

still working on: you still have to work on your authority and stability - its not so improved that you can just move on. it's a process. practice being calm despite the chaos - manage your anxiety/stress. trust that you are mature enough to handle yourself and your situation. it's all about confidence, so get in touch with yours. don't be afraid to kick things up a notch. you have to practice stepping outside your comfort zone if you want to see some serious growth. at the same time, it wouldn't hurt you to take a break and take a step back from time to time (don't push yourself - you'll find yourself burnt out). you also have to work on not feeling so stuck - the past is in the past, nothing is guaranteed, fitting in is overrated, you aren't competing with anyone - that is all in your mind, and (this one you might not be ready for) your loneliness is likely self imposed (put yourself out there). take back your power in that regard! take some small steps towards what you truly want and you will feel a whole lot better before 2025.

pile two

accomplished: you have finally stopped putting so much pressure on yourself. it's such a relief! i know you are a perfectionist but it gets exhausting, no? but now you can see it's just not productive to continually compare yourself to others and now you are free. keep happily say "no" while focusing on what truly brings you joy. i feel like it's also a good thing you have lower your bar for yourself. high hopes are good but not to the detriment of your mental health and self-image. delays are okay - it's okay if you're vision is not true to reality; its probably healthier this way so keep reminding yourself that. just keep working and you will get what you need and where you need to be.

still working on: keep working on connecting with your intuition. start reconnecting with your gut - stop relying on others and allowing them to influence you. also it is imperative that you let go of whatever it is that you are clinging to. change only comes when you accept endings. surrendering what is leaving or has left allows for peace and gratitude for what still remains - so stop clinging, surrender, and create space in your life for new things. embrace some spontaneity in your life - something is about to happen and you just need to say "yes" (which sounds crazy when you read the accomplished section but you will know your say "yes" opportunity when you work past your disconnect with your gut). maybe it's travel, maybe a person, etc. say yes, take a chance. ride a wave.

pile three

accomplished: i am very proud of you. i feel like you're saving for something and are being proactive with your finances instead of spending unnecessarily. that or you are feeling a bit more stabilized and secure in a situation that was bothering you earlier in the year. you just have to keep trusting that you have what you need. give some credit to yourself for your hard work. i also feel like you learned something extremely important that really had a profound influence/impact on you these last 6 months. maybe you met someone who is helping you to be wiser about how you live life and appreciate life too. you could also be moving past something that really disappointed you or hurt your feelings. you aren't too hurt by the past to not try again - you have hope once more. your emotions are no longer stagnant or restricted as they once were. keep up the good work!

still working on: you haven't been working on something that you have been planning to - it's time you stop pushing it off and get to work. stop being so frustrated and impatient with yourself due to the lack of progress you are making. be real with yourself and stop procrastinating then you will have no reason to be frustrated. otherwise, it might be time you adjust your expectations. start doing what you love again. hard work, no matter daunting it may be, will pay off when it's something you believe in. hell even if its small bits of progress, it's better than nothing. some progress will improve your spirits. life will get in your way to test how badly you really want something oftentimes. there is something to gain in breaks and stillness - start waiting around when you finally realize what it is.

[redlenai]

Mouthwashing AU:

Everything is fine, but everyone's mental health declines as the months pass by. But instead of being some horror shit going on, just Swansea being trapped with 4 people younger than him, starting with them pranking each other, more and more chaos and even fist fighting between them. Basically DadSea losing his patience

Daisuke got his hand superglued to a Sweetener package, after someone snitched he stole one (Curly did it)

Anya stealing everyone's sweaters and never returning them, she gives the middle finger to Curly and Jim the most (As Gymbros, their sweaters are gigantic)

Curly being the one that still acts like a Captain but sometimes its like a switch is clicked and suddenly he is the most uncooperative bastard

Jimmy hasn't sleep for 2 weeks, he doesn't know HOW but whoever put the damn Polle statue on his room is going to pay if he ever finds out who did it (Team work, except Swan), he can't sleep there anymore

Swansea had to break a fight between Jimmy and Curly because since they have similar builds, couldn't differentiate whose uniform was whose and literally accusing the other of stealing their stuff.

Swansea had to scold Anya and Daisuke for being overly competitive during game night, throwing pieces at each other, having a screaming match that ended when Swan claimed the Screamer title

When he is really about to lose it, its like all of a suddent the chaos ends and he is then having one on one conversations or having to act like a parent to each of them, because their behaviors are clearly caused by being overwhelmed with the isolation and silence from space.

Curly finally breaking down about the many responsabilities he has and the high expectations everyone has on him

Anya having crying fits over feeling stuck and wondering if she'll ever go to Med School

Daisuke unable to trust the fact that he is learning and improving as an Intern

Jimmy just terrified about what is he going to do when they land, what other job to apply or that he'll end homeless.

Goddamit I'm rambling so much but like yeah, a nice AU about found family, hitting rock bottom and an old man whose wisdom is the ladder to help these younger folks to move despite the unknown, and maybe Swansea noticing small glimpes of the people that raised his crewmates? Overachiever parents for Curly, single parent struggling to support Anya's education, Daisuke and emotionally absent parents, Jimmy who didn't had parents and was tossed from one foster home to another. And Swan doesn't learn these things by talking to them, they barely share these things except when they hit their limit, but he notices, by the small habits, behaviors and routines.

Of course, Daisuke being everyone's little ray of sunshine and the easiest to manage. Swan also felt his cholesterol raise when Anya mentioned craving the most disgusting, greasiest, unhealthy trash food known to man and in fact the gymbros sweating as they watch (As much as they can) what they eat.

Swansea: Ain't ya' supposed to be... the healthy one?

Curly would be ready to puke imagining the trash food, while Jimmy is lost trying to calculate the possible calories that foul thing has.

[jtargaryen18]

The Arrangement ~ Chapter 9 Preview

The goal is Friday...

Nadya tapped lightly at the door before letting herself in, a small leather satchel tucked under one arm and a wide smile already blooming across her weathered face.

You shifted on the edge of the bed, trying to sit a little straighter. There was something about her presence, earthy  and steady, that made you want to be stronger. Not just for yourself, but for everyone who had fought so hard to put you back on your feet.

"You look better," she said, approval clear in her tone even before she set the bag down. "Your weight is better. More light in your eyes."

You ducked your head, feeling a flicker of pride. You had fought for every inch of this recovery. Every mouthful of food that stayed down, every slow, careful walk down the hall, every quiet afternoon stitching dresses your mother and Polly brought to you by the basketful.

You were careful, though. Careful not to work late enough for Tommy to catch you still sewing. If he did, and if he even suspected you’d been there for hours, he’d assume the worst. Best case? He’d crouch down beside your chair, voice low but firm, lecturing you with that razor-edged concern he couldn’t quite hide anymore. Worst case? He wouldn’t say anything at all. He’d just get quiet and that heavy, brooding sort of silence filled the whole room like smoke. And somehow, somehow, that was always worse.

So you were cautious. You were stronger now. But you were also smart enough to know that Tommy's patience, when it came to you, was not a bottomless well. It was a fierce, fragile thing, and you treasured it.

Nadya set about her usual examination, checking your pulse, your breathing, the strength of your hands. Her calloused fingers were gentle but thorough, her expression sharpening with each sign of improvement. Then she moved to check your tummy, her touch careful but confident, the way someone did when they knew the stakes. She pressed, feeling for signs that everything inside was progressing the way it should.You held your breath without meaning to until Nadya’s mouth tugged into a small, approving smile.

She said nothing yet, but the slight lightening of her features was answer enough. "You’ve been doing everything I asked," she said, nodding with satisfaction. "Good girl."

Your chest loosened just a little at that simple praise. It was silly, maybe. But after everything... it felt like something earned.

"You keep this up," Nadya added, straightening, "and you’ll be ready for that wedding soon enough."

Wedding. The word landed differently now than it had weeks ago. It felt less like a noose, more like a promise.

You managed a small smile, though your heart thudded unevenly. Because ready or not... it was coming. And this time, you would walk toward it with your head high.

Once the examination was done, Nadya sat back in the chair beside the bed, smoothing her skirt absently. She watched you for a long moment, weighing something. Then, with a small smirk, more sly than kind, she said in Romani-accented English,“You may resume relations with your husband… if you wish. I'm not saying this to him but...”

You blinked, heat rushing to your cheeks.“I...” you stammered, looking anywhere but at her. "Even if I tell him that... He'll probably be afraid he'll break me or something..."

Nadya chuckled low, adjusting the strap of her bag. "Not for long. A man like that... He looks at you like a starving man already."

You buried your face in your hands, mortified. She laughed again, a softer sound this time, and rose to gather her things.

“Best get your rest while you can, little one,” she said, winking as she headed for the door. “You’ll need it.”

And with that little parting shot, Nadya headed for the door, leaving you flustered but with some things to think about.

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm back! Thank you kindly for your patience, we're done with Act III! It was probably a terrible idea to wait because this is so long, I'm so sorry.

previously, in harrowhark! a vagrant the ninth:

this happened

also a couple previews that will show up in this but are in the tag

currently, chapters 24-31 (END OF ACT III!!!):

harrow wakes up after sleeping a sensible amount of hours in yandere twin's room

yandere twin, who's into chomping cavaliers, complains about having had some harrow soup

they have a sort of tender moment, I guess

they have a complicated dynamic

harrow falls asleep again

she's in the bed and yandere twin is sleeping on the floor

and harrow is woken by the sound of self inflicted pain and torture

harrow gets tired of this and decides to just rip yandere twin's arm off

@lady-harrowhark reminded me that I called this (!!!) in this recap

I had absolutely 100000% forgot I said that but congrats past me!!!

so, there's this scene in which harrow rips yandere twin's arm off and puts a new bone-y one in there, remade with her own parts

like this

some people have told me in the replies that it's a sessual sort of scene, and I get that, I suppose it was the vibe it was going for

total respect to that

but I'm gonna be honest here

it felt like I was witnessing a birth and harrow was the midwife

so harrow lets yandere twin know that she's been improving her necro powers via studying and practicing to try to make up for her being "lyctor lite"

harrow and alleged gideon aka ortus are the only people here that seem to be getting any work done tbh

so now, with the new arm, inner chad can use the sword again

and yandere twin is happy because she's now a proper lyctor and has senior chad aka augustine's approval

harrow is proud of herself for doing nice necro things like chopping and reconstructing arms

as a thanks, yandere twin agrees to help harrow to kill alleged gideon the first aka ortus

nobody asked you, but ok

I actually have no qualms with alleged gideon aka ortus

because he's at least direct and honest about it

everyone here has an agenda, at least this guy's like directly trying to physically kill harrow

at this point, I respect the direct approach

augustine and emperor reverend professor john can go fu—

WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'LL GET THERE LATER

CHAPTER 28

we're back at gideon-less canaan house

canaan house isn't safe in any universe, all the trails lead to death

everyone who's alive or accounted for is having a sleepover

there's a bunch of people unaccounted for, actually

the kiddos from the fourth are allegedly hidden elsewhere

who knows, at this point

I don't trust anyone

there's a fog and rain and water rising still

which reminds me of the movie identity, in which they all were trapped in that motel because it wasn't actually a motel and they weren't actually alive per-se

magnus and abby say that protozoa should have decked mayonnaise uncle

which is one of the reasons why the gideon universe is superior

aside from the presence of gideon and camilla

I miss them so much I'm gonna start biting cavaliers

anyway, where in the hell is duracell bunny nephew???

he wasn't with mayonnaise uncle when he yeeted himself

his soul, which got detached from his body in the gideon universe, is still flying like a balloon across universes and dimensions, I guess

abby didn't expect regina george twin to die, apparently, and says "if she's gone, then perhaps that means..." but doesn't elaborate

nobody ever elaborates

abby also makes harrowbean read another one of the "harrow texts"

I can't keep adding them all together in recaps because this will end up being super long but here goes the new one

"I will remember the first time you kissed me —you apologized— you said, I am sorry, destroy me as I am, but I want to kiss you before I am killed, and I said to you why, and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you. I kissed you and later I would kiss him too before I understood what you were, and all three of us lived to regret it—but when I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine"

so yeah, we've got a triangular situation, I suppose

I need to put all of them together to continue to draw connections

my though was that this could be ice cube barbie aka annabel lee, because of the long-lost sun, but I'm unsure still

I don't think the timing fits the other side of the 3d model that's the gideon's mom and rebel leader situation

inconclusive still

abby suggests harrowbean she might be haunted

which might also fit with ice cube barbie??? maybe??? idk

CHAPTER 29

harrow says she doesn't remember shit about chad

get perpetually owned, chad

mercygirl asks harrow things about her necro process for the arm reconstructing and the last thing she asks is "what is the name of the saint of duty?" to which harrow says "ortus the first" and mercygirl goes

me and my "alleged gideon" theory are very happy about this

the hill I will die on

mercygirl continues to use onomatopoeias to express herself

I do not want to think about what that would imply in a later situation I don't want to dig into

"you read unholy omens in the way people say good morning" that's what these recaps are, thank you very much harrow

that's our tagline over here, that's our brand

"how you loathed any sentence beginning with augustine says" SAME, BESTIE

I HATE THAT MAN

he can go fu— ANYWAY

harrow and yandere twin are having sleepovers so that harrow isn't murdered in her sleep

apparently the nudes are cyrus and his cavalier and yandere twin likes that energy

they gifted them to others as souvenirs too

it's like if you had a university classmate who sent nudes to the groupchat every birthday

yandere twin says augustine the asshole has agreed to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first

I don't trust any of these lyctors if they're willing to kill each other this easily

how do I know they've got my back in combat if they don't have each other's backs—

I CAN'T EVEN ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS AND NOT SOUND TERRIBLE NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS LATER IN THE PARTY

ANYWAY

yandere twin reminisces about not having been apart from regina george twin much in their lives and hoping she's sleeping well wherever she is

I also don't know where she is

yandere twin tells harrow that she was more farsighted than her

which I'm sure she was, but she doesn't seem to remember shit about it, and the letters remain unopened

harrow thinks it's kinda gross that the cyrus lyctor murdered his cavalier to become a lyctor and then took all of their nudes to the emperor's bolthole

none of these lyctors are operating from a place of common sense, harrow

"you were lucky that the memory of your own cavalier did not hurt you—except sometimes in the form of a sick headache in your temples, or in words stuck on repeat in your head"

so, augustine's plan involves dinner

harrow, hearing that, is like this

they look for clothes in the cavalier's things

yandere twin says "valancy trinit was my height, weighed more than both of us put together, and —judging by her portraits— had a body that did not quit"

I sure hope she's a thick girl, because I've had enough disappointment with the gideon cover not letting her have the arms she deserves

I hope valancy trinit looks kinda like this

ANYWAY, here's the makeover vibes, as previously shared

apparently chad could embroider, which I have to admit is a good quality

hate giving him any props, but I must be fair

harrow painted the less cute skull in her repertoire and we respect that

they went to augustine's room and he's still an asshat

I don't like how he treats yandere twin tbh

I feel like yandere twin has a thing with validation because of how her life has been and he uses that

augustine justifies his betrayal to his fellow lyctor saying that he "caused more pain over these last scant forty years than I dare to admit"

mercygirl is also here for the party, all dressed up

SO HERE'S THE THING

I am so embarrassed I didn't pick it up on the fly and it took me the whole chapter to put it together

augustine tells her "dios apate, minor"

at the time, I didn't remember what it meant, and when I finished reading the thing, I was like "oh, it's exactly like the deception of zeus"

I forgot that's what it was called

I mean, I got the "dios" part, obviously, but forgot the "apate"

my ancient greek professor is going to come back into my life to shoot me at my doorstep

to be fair to myself, it was a long while ago that I took ancient greek

AT LEAST I PICKED THE REFERENCE UP AFTER, OK????

god, I'm so embarrassed

palmolive, I'm so sorry, I promise I figured it out eventually

mercygirl punches augustine in the face, which is great

he insists on it being "minor", which idk where the line is there and I'm not gonna ask

idk which things are or aren't...involved in a minor form of zeus's deception

mercygirl says she's not wearing the right dress, I don't think it matters, it worked just fine

CHAPTER 30

everyone gets drunk except for alleged gideon aka ortus and harrow, because they're the only people in this group project who are doing the work

augustine and mercygirl start fighting about something their cavaliers did back in the day

they start toasting for cavaliers and talking about how "hot pyrrha was"

there is no respect for the dead in the emperor's bolthole

there's about to be something else in the emperor's bolthole in a minute though

I was excited about them drinking, though, because that's when people start spilling some truths

the lost commander of BOE is a "she", her name is/was Commander Wake, she almost killed alleged gideon aka ortus

I'm still spinning with the gideon's mom theory

and the background telenovela I've got going on

BOE found a Herald, killed it and turned it into weapons against these clowns

good for them, tbh, kill these drunk irresponsible bastards

emperor reverend professor doctor john thinks it's narcissistic of him to toast to himself

I want to murder him in cold blood

I hate this man so viscerally I want to rip him apart with my hands

the twist in this book is that I'm gonna reach to his murder and it's gonna be me

it's like bastian reading the neverending story but it's me killing this man

his full name is john gaius but I had been spoiled of his name by people not tagging their posts

he also does a "your mama" joke because he's my villain origin story

"part of your brain temporarily calcified into atheism" I'M GLAD, HARROW

so, they start to make out, all three of them

I finally caught up about zeus's deception and all about here

emperor awful is sandwiched between mercygirl on a table and augustine behind him and they forget there are children in the room

well, not children, but same difference, they're a million years old

harrow and yandere twin get the hell out of that display

CHAPTER 31

yandere twin wants to kiss harrowbean before she leaves to kill alleged gideon aka ortus, but harrow doesn't let her

harrow says "my affections lie buried in the Locked Tomb" to which yandere twin responds "Somebody might even exhume them for you"

when harrow mentioned not wanting to be touched while sleeping beside yandere twin, I remembered the pool hug and all that, that was a nice time

people were being killed left and right but it was a nice time

ANYWAY

harrow has a whole plan and has it all figured out, it's a really good plan, it works very nicely, but alleged gideon aka ortus isn't where they told her he was

sometimes, life works that way

the man you plan to kill isn't in the training room and all

she goes to look for him in not!dulcinea's crypt or whatever

and she sees this

and the spear

she follows the children's hospital trail of blood to the incinerator

alleged gideon aka ortus is inside the fire thingy and not!dulcinea is operating the controls

I wonder who could have predicted that this woman could still be an issue even after death

me, it was me

anyway, no time for I-told-you-so's because harrowbean decides to help him out of there

I'm very happy because I need him alive

he knows things and he's less bad than everyone else around here

because he's upfront about the killing

he tells her some things while he's kind of out of it

like to use blood wards instead of bone ones

that it will make her safe from "us"

"I know you're there. Kill me all you like. I would know you in the blindness of my eyes" he says and, among other things "Just tell me—back then—why you brought along the ba—"

WAS HE GONNA SAY BABY???? WHAT IF HE WANTED TO SAY BABY???

I'm still on my gideon agenda, sorry if it's embarrassing to read

of course emperor dickhead stops him before he can finish it

alleged gideon aka ortus says he doesn't remember shit afterwards and harrow sees her own mental state reflected in his

they can't find not!dulcinea, apparently

she's probably operating heavy machinery elsewhere

harrow is putting up her blood wards when she hears augustine and mercygirl argue about the whole zeus situation

the incinerator alarm apparently interrupted their plan of letting this happen

whether or not they had a hand on the not!dulcinea thing idk

mercygirl says she didn't move her

we end this act with ice cube barbie maybe annabel lee saying "The water is risen. So is the sun. We will endure."

obligatory yearning for camilla moment

That is the end of Act III and of my commentary because this was way too long and I need to make less chapters at a time istg

[illusory-nomad]

This is for anyone who reads Romeo! (Scara fic) or Revolver (Aventurine fic) so u can ignore if u don't read them 🤷‍♀️

(TL;DR at the bottom b4 tag lists if you don't want to read my yapping)

To "Romeo!" and "Revolver" readers, I hate to say this, but I've been wracking my brain, and unfortunately decided to put both fics on short hold while I:

1. Try to focus on "OUT OF FRAME!!"

2. Brainstorm where I want the story to go

Honestly, I love both stories, but they were made a bit on a whim. Despite that, I don't want to take them down or abandon them, because I've put so much planning into them, but I feel it's not strong enough to be a memorable story for you guys. So I hope you'll give me time to improve both stories, and hopefully I'll be able to make both stories enjoyable for everyone.

I also wanna apologize because I keep saying I'm working on it, but I end up dropping this notice instead of another chapter 😭

But I will be sure to upload more chapters once I figure out where I want both stories to go, no matter if "OUT OF FRAME!!" is still ongoing or not. Also I think I mentioned this in the last chapter of Revolver but I'm on summer break, so I'm determined to be productive in writing 🫠

Thank you for your patience, and all your support! Lots of love!! 🥹🫶

TL;DR : Romeo! and Revolver will be put on hold while I try to improve both stories' plots. I apologize, and thank you. Lots of love 🥹🫶

Taglists (both still open) :

• Romeo! : @featuredtofu @shutingstar @alatusorrow @skyvella @mellowberrie @sketcheeee @lovelypadisarah @toastedfailure @noellefan101 @scaraenthusiast1 @liuaneee @holaseniorahoe @ale-t13 @jiminscarmex @crimxeorcremeexistspeacefully

• Revolver : @tainted-artist4161 @arxxq @arisha128 @reixtsu @nyanyanihao

[houndsofcorduff]

40. Your OC is watching someone attempt to do something at which they are extremely capable. However the person they are watching really isn't... [For Corduff 👀]

Thank you for the ask! I decided to go with a scene from before book 1, when Corduff and Boru are just getting to know each other. It was fun to think about little Bo and Corduff not being used to his particular brand of...training...yet. Also, I'm physically incapable of writing short scenes, so I hope you don't mind it's a good chunk of reading:

Training Grounds. Elsava. Rosen. 42nd Day of Spring, 938.

Somehow, this scrawny blond boy was going to bring peace to the entire world. And it was Corduff's job to train him. Training Hayes and Siobhan had been easy, they were so skilled and precise in their spore manipulation and they caught on quickly, very much like Corduff had been at their age. This kid, Boru, though, was very different from his other two apprentices.

"When do we get to eat?" the thirteen-year-old complained.

"I think we should do some training first, work up your appetite," Corduff answered. "We'll start with -."

"I've already worked up an appetite, it's my first day as your apprentice, you could at least get to know me before working me out," the boy huffed.

"I'll get to know you just fine, but if you're going to fulfill the prophecy of peace, you'll need to know how to windcast," Corduff countered quickly. "Now, don't worry, we'll start simple. Take an open stance. There's already a breeze, feel it on your skin, try to pull on it with your SporeSense, draw it closer to you. Close your eyes if that helps."

Although he did grumble, Boru spread his feet shoulder-length apart. He also shut his eyes. He hesitated a moment, then raised both arms to shoulder height. That hadn't been part of his instruction, but Corduff was willing to let him see it through. He had seen the skill the boy had with lightcasting, it was insane, so maybe this was just part of his process. Then, for reasons beyond Destiny herself, he inhaled deeply, held it in his chest like he was about to dive underwater, then thrust his hands forward.

Nothing happened. Not a rustle. If anything the breeze faded, like the wind was rejecting him.

"Did you just…punch the air?" Corduff couldn't even believe he had to ask that question.

"I was drawing it in like you said!" Boru opened his eyes. "I was just following your instructions!"

Destiny's stars, this kid was going to be a lot of work. "Try it again," he said, trying not to lose his patience. "This time, no punch, don't even move, just feel the spores. Relax your arms and don't hold your breath. Feel the weight of the air. It feels like the moment just before you fall. You know that feeling? When you're running and you know you're going as fast as you can?"

"Oh yeah," Boru grinned from ear to ear. "You want me to run? I can run really fast."

"I'm sure you can," Corduff said quickly before the kid could take off at full speed, "but for now, stay still, completely still, but picture yourself running in your mind. You need the feeling of running without actually doing it, got it?"

"Right!" Boru closed his eyes again and breathed in and out. That was an improvement, at least.

After a few moments, the grass at Boru's feet quivered. He didn't see it, but Corduff did. It was a starting point if nothing else.

"Better," Corduff said. "Still terrible, but better."

Bo opened his eyes in triumph and turned to his new master. "Alright! Does that mean we get to eat now?"

Yep, a lot of work.

____

Put my characters in more situations!

[bdafic]

How have you been?

I appreciate this -- it's very kind to ask. I'm putting the answer under a cut because it's an honest one, and I get that not everyone is comfy reading about more serious medical/health stuff.

Not great!

Some years back, I suffered a pretty significant brain hemorrhage that resulted in permanent damage. I had a smaller one about a year ago, and possibly another in the summer. This is all due to a genetic condition.

I made a good recovery, but part of that was (is) accepting that I will never go back to being the person I was. And that really fucking sucks. Among other things, my short-term memory, speaking, word-finding, reading, and short-term memory are all severely impacted. I am bursting with the desire to create, but much of the time it feels like my hands are bound and my mouth taped shut. Writing is something I was always pretty good at -- I've been doing it since childhood -- and it's demoralizing to see it ripped away so easily.

I would love to be more connected to fandom spaces, but it's hard to feel comfortable talking to people. It's embarrassing to repeat myself, forget shit, talk too much, mix up words, say things the wrong way... People on the internet are not known for extending grace and patience. What I miss the most is being able to read tons of other works and leave comments. Nowadays I have to use a voice reader, take notes, frequent breaks, constantly restart chapters, and potentially wait ages for another 'good' day. I genuinely get a lot of joy out of uplifting others, but it's deeply uncomfortable to do all of that and then spend the next week worrying that I still managed to mess it up somehow. I was already weird and autistic before any of this and let me tell you brain damage has not improved things!

Currently, I am awaiting surgery for a different thing relating to the same genetic condition. My body is not digesting food, and it causes a lot of pain. As a bonus, malnutrition also messes with your brain function. This, too, sucks.

(For the record, my wife has instructions on how to update this account if anything more permanent were to happen to me).

I think about my writing almost every day. I try to pick at my drafts whenever I can make my words work. It's cliché, but every time I get a comment or someone like you comes by and asks me a question, it feels very revitalizing. It tells me I was once capable of creating something that someone else thought was kinda neat. Maybe I still am. I'm fairly unknown in this fandom and very rarely get asks or a bunch of comments or anything, so every time an AO3 email comes in it is a genuinely wonderful surprise. The one perk of brain damage is that I may forget to archive the email and then get to experience that wonderful surprise several times over!

(If I have ever replied to a comment twice: I'm very sorry. I will do it again).

I hope this does not discourage anyone from leaving one, because I regularly go back and re-read them. They mean a lot to me, especially right now. I don't have anyone to talk to about Dragon Age and fic, and I am not comfortable with the people in my life knowing how many hundreds of hours I have spent thinking about elves having sex, so it's really nice to live in a world where I can gush with someone else for a moment.

Thanks for taking the time to ask.

[avatarskywalker78]

It's Six Sentence Sunday and I have been writing some stuff!!! Mostly for my Thunderbirds fic - now titled 'star fall' - after reminding myself that I do not have to write several thousand words of backstory when I just really want to get to the main rescue and what happens afterwards. This is from the first scene - in which Sheridan calls John and immediately starts complaining about the latest idiot who didn't have safeguards that made the news.

“That was a pretty bad one.” He agreed. “But I doubt he’ll be commissioned for anything else.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”  She scoffed. “It wouldn’t be so bad if this was just a one-off but there’s gonna be some other loser with some big idea and no thought of the consequences—”

“You’re still not over the Empire State Building, are you?”

“Do not get me started on that.” She warned him, and John snickered. “Ten years of planning down the drain because they didn’t do a proper ground check and for the short distance they were moving they might as well have left it where it was—”

“Maybe they should put you in charge of these things.”

“Are you kidding me? You know I have no patience for things like this – one smartass making some smarmy comment and we’d just end up arguing. Besides,” she added, raising an eyebrow, “I’ve enough paperwork in this job and that’s for a company that gives a shit. You think I’d be happy having to deal with even more when situations go haywire because of other people’s mistakes?”

Being a test pilot isn't all death defying stunts and a lot of work goes into making it safe, despite the picture the media likes to paint... so hearing about complete dumbasses having to be rescued from their own stupidity does nothing to improve Sheridan's mood - 12 episodes into TAG and it's the same in that universe too because apparently OSHA just straight up doesn't exist by the 2060s?? For some reason?? So that's gonna be fun (Sheridan likely wanting to punt whatever equivalent they have to an iPad out the window every time she sees one of these headlines)

I've also been working a little on my Elaine Barnes fic - specifically trying to write the scene where she watches her father fight Daniel LaRusso, after the footage resurfaces and Sam decides to show her first before a Cobra Kid does so because they're not gonna be as kind about it.

Karate had ruined Dad's life.

That was what he'd always said when they asked - that it had exacerbated his anger issues and led him down a dark path and ultimately ruined his life, and that if Grandpa hadn't given him a chance he didn't know where he'd be. Cobra Kai had laid him to torment someone and it had been one of the worse mistakes of his life.

And he'd had a terrible reputation during his karate career - she'd never done much research into it, but she'd known his moniker was the 'Tournament Terror' and this was why Cobra Kai had recruited him.

Elaine knew all this, she knew all this-

Seeing it was very different.

Oh Elaine, I'm so sorry 😢😢 but sometimes the story has to be angsty, and things will work out in the end.

Tagging (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @shrinkthisviolet @starstruckpurpledragon @dream-beyond-the-fantasy @ofbriarandrose

[moriamori]

Even now I feel the ghosts of muscles and nerves wishing to induce pain, as my upper torso works on healing missing skin from ripped kinetic sports tape used in recovery.

The words "Do what you love while you still have the bodily means to do it" rattles through my bones, I'm not that old by human standards but the sense of a countdown remains regardless. Comics are a deep love of mine. They're also the medium to tell a story very, very slowly.

With an average life span of 80 years, knock off my current 30, that's 50 years left. A completed series could take about ten years, many have taken longer. The manic could commit maybe five stories. Realistically, most manage half or a quarter of one. Maybe complete one. Maybe two. And my arms hurt, my spine pinches. My fingers tingle.

With my current funds, I choose between one physio session for the month, or hope to save up enough for an ergonomics assessment of my awful workdesk-setup in a slanted apartment, with a chair too big and items eternally too wide, too heavy for me. "This time," I say, "This time, this will help me get closer to drawing again".

I had wanted to be a freelance illustrator, when I realized my day job would never financially reflect the amount of work I do or don't put in. I wouldn't be able to increase my funds if I took on more work. My job will only realize they can expect more work out of me for the same pay. Getting hired elsewhere, while a possibility, would likely involve obtaining a new job that is twice as stressful and pays a tiny bit more. I don't even want this career.

I used to do commissions. I used to draw like I breathed. The irony of working in an art school is that the continuous exposure to technique and "how to get better", mainly makes you able to see your own mistakes and your own shortcomings over and over again. It's always about improvement. Find the faults, do better. Do better. Do better.

Don't sing this way, sing that way.

I feel like I've lost my voice. I feel like my voice hasn't much to say, actually. I know people loved it, once. People even demand my return.

"I want to see the next pages." "Where's that comic you said you'd do?" "Made any art recently?"

Positive attention doesn't pay bills, doesn't give me lunch, doesn't offer insurance for my physio therapy bills. It almost did. But I would have to keep performing. Keep producing through the burn. And I want to. I do. That's the awful thing in the end. I also want these pages done.

I want to love to create again. I remember I loved. I loved fearlessly. Made fearlessly. I embraced bad art. Minimalist art. Shitty art.

"I know you can make better than this." "You didn't put effort in this one."

Please put effort in me.

I am sorry the previous conditions I worked in were not enough, and the past support was not enough. I did have patreon. I did have some support. I had people willing to pay me for my time and effort and they even had patience. It was almost enough. Almost.

A flower still wilts if only given a slice of the sun it needs. It can try to grow in those conditions but it isn't going to be good.

"It used to be enough before!"

Maybe I grew. Maybe my appetite and my needs got bigger. Kids' meals don't fill me anymore. What right do I have to ask for more, when I have nothing to show for it? When what I make, may end up being terrible regardless?

"Remember you will love," I tell myself once more. Maybe I'll love regardless, in the end. Pages or no pages.

I do love terrible comics, in the end.

[emeritus-fuckers]

papa's x asexual reader hcs?

Primo

When you first told him you were asexual, he made a pot of tea from scratch. You then sat all evening and talked it all over.

He completely accepts it. He is very understanding and open. You find it really easy to talk to him.

He picks flowers for you from his garden. The flowers change with the seasons, but they are always colours you love. 

If you've had a bad day, he’ll put an arm around you, and listen to you. He'll give advice if you ask for it.

He enjoys the deep romantic connection you both have. 

He is very secure in himself, so he never pressures you or anything. He knows its just how you are, its not because you don't want him in that way.

One evening he sets up a large screen for you to watch films in the garden. There are fairy lights everywhere, and a blanket on the grass covered in cushions and blankets.

Secondo 

He sees you around the ministry. He notices that you always pause to look at his paintings.

Something about you just makes him want to get to know you. 

He approaches you and asks you out for a drink. You tell him you are asexual. “Yes, I know." He replies with a smile "I would love to get to know you, if you want.”

He makes sure he knows what your boundaries are. He also checks consent on anything he thinks might be near them. 

If he even hears anyone so much as try and invalidate your sexuality he’ll appear next to you in full on terrifying papa mode. 

He gives the best hugs ever, and he saves them just for you. 

He offers to teach you how to paint, or improve if you already know. He would be so happy to share it with you.

Terzo

When you tell him you asexual he thinks for a moment. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me, to be yourself with me.”

He’s honestly slightly surprised you wanted to go out with him, what with his reputation... But you do want to! This makes him so happy, he realises you see him for who he really is. You see past the front he puts on while onstage. 

He relaxes completely around you, he is just Terzo not Papa Emeritus III.

You love his warmth, his quick wit and flare when he tells a story. 

He will ask a lot of questions to make sure he understands right. 

He’s still jokingly flirty but never does anything that would make you uncomfortable. 

Copia

He shows intimacy in so many different cute ways. 

He'll leave cute notes around your rooms for you to find. "I am so lucky Amore, I get to be with you."

He’ll make you playlists for you to listen to of his favourite songs or anything he thinks you would like.

He also loves it when you play him songs, that you enjoy. He'll make a playlist of them to listen to when he misses you.

He honestly thought when you took him aside, saying you needed to tell him something, that he'd done something wrong or upset you. You looked so nervous. You told him you were asexual.

You were rather surprised that he started grinning “but cara you do not need to worry about telling me such things sÌ? I love learning more about you! Just tell me what I can do to make this relationship work for you? To make sure you comfortable and happy.”

Old Nihil

It doesn't matter how you identify, he'll still stare at you lovingly and simp.

He would never judge you, he's just happy to be with you.

When you go in to see him he greets you with a wide grin and says "Yello?"

You try your best to explain it and he just happily nods along. "Yesss sibling... you are looking very well."

If you have the patience, and explain it enough times, something will eventually click. He'll actually respond "Wooow, I see sibling, asexual, that is good! I'm glad you told me."

Even though he is old and struggling to understand most things, he realises this is important to you. So he makes sure, as best he can, to understand what your boundaries are and how he can make you feel safe and comfortable with him.

Young Nihil

"Sorry babe, come again?" He's not really listening at first as he tries to work out the chords to a song on his guitar.

You tell him it doesn't matter, slightly annoyed after it took you so much courage to say it the first time.

He realises from your tone and puts the guitar down apologising "no, please, tell me again, I'll listen."

So you patiently explain again and he replies "Oh, that's not a problem, in our religion all sexualities are accepted!"

You explain to him that you're worried since he seems to very much enjoy having people in his bed.

"I prefer to be with you, I made a mistake once before, never again." He takes your hands in his and kisses them. He looks you in the eyes and says "I love you."

Then after he thinks for a second, the questions start. It might take all night, since Nihil can sometimes be a little slower to catch on and he wants to make sure he knows exactly what you need from him.

~

Written by Nyx.

Taglist: @sirlsplayland @firefirevampire @mamacarlyle @thatoddboy @ouijaboardemo @lightbluuestars @mybotanicaldemise @emo-mess @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @natoncesaid @igodownjustlikeholymary @strawberriiblossoms @spicyshortsimp

[celestie0]

Girl I was balls deep in my attempt to make fanart for u a couple months ago

Like I had the reference pictures collated and I sat my ass down and picked up an pencil with the intention of actually drawing something after ages

cause basically I became a lil sad cause I felt like I forgot to draw bc last year in school I took an external art subject and it didn’t occur to me that doing a hands on subject through distance study wasn’t the brightest idea

anyway that fucked me over and led to me dropping and taking up fucking legal studies 😭

Even though I’m a bit more STEM based I can still fw the wordy subjects but not this someone pls save me why am I being assessed on the bi cameral structure of parliament

saur yh I’m super lazy as is with anything so that situation just put me off drawing and art completely

congrats to me setting every world record for yip yapping and going off track

ummm yh for context it was like my 10th read through of the kickoff chapter 6 scene that compelled me to collate a bunch of reference pics that ranged from twitter smut comics to bathroom sinks and eventually I gave up because anatomy is a bitch

I changed into a dress with the same type of neckline I think reader was wearing bc of the way it tucks under her boobies and I was this close to just shamelessly positioning myself in front of the mirror to make my own references

then ofc I got distracted by a half baked portrait of Rose from titanic that I drew when I was like 15 and ended up drawing a two hour long remake of the same picture

only for my friend to tell me it looks like Mary Shelly’s ghost

Should I know who that is

To be fair it looked nothing like her but I mean it was an improvement from thinking all my ability just went poof and I drew better when I was 15

never the less I was somewhat disappointed with the product and I haven’t drawn since

wait I wanna show u actually lemme try

https://share.icloud.com/photos/0edTRG9Tb54pRh9Qe5unszRrg

the Mary Shelly in question

do these links work I’m scared I’m gonna accidentally leak personal details or my whole camera roll lol

also IM NOT AN ARTIST don’t judge me peeps I’m just a girl idek how to drive yet

I feel bad every time I send an ask I feel like I’m force feeding u Ellie babes u have the patience and commitment of a saint

also OMG IF YOU MADE ART FOR ANY OF MY FICS I’D SOB!!!!

I want to 😞🫶 but alas prospect of fanart from me will most likely never see the light of day

that crack scene in ihm was tempting tho everything u write is just so visual

♥️ mwah my gorgeous gorgeous writer wifey

hellooo my dear PLS the ramble of this ask is legendary and i found it very entertaining xD

ouuu the dress that reader wears in ch6 of kickoff is actually based on a dress that i own, here's some pictures of it!! i'm curious if the dress you have is similar!! but yea this is the official outfit reference hahah

looking at it now it's kind of a mild sweetheart neckline lol n yea def tucks under the boobs very nicely xd i was actually gonna sell it on depop a couple months ago when i did a closet cleanout but i was like nahhh i gotta keep it bc it inspired that scene

taking your OWN reference pictures sounds so badass. and its ok babe it's the thought that counts haha <3 i feel u about the losing passion/talent in art thooo aaa i used to draw too but ehh hobbies fizzle

ahh i can't see the cloud photos :(( but anywho thanks for the yap my dear!! i ate it up. also side note but i'm so glad my writing comes off visual to you!! i always worry there's not enough description in my scenes so that's reassuring to hear. much love!

[infinitethree]

Daz can't help but be amused by Aster’s choice of date location.

“An aquarium,” he snorts, and his boyfriend almost seems to pout. “I looked up date ideas, and it was suggested!”

That, at least, is kind of charming. “Aww, you did research?”

Aster huffs at him, shoving something into his hands.

Oh, lord, he brought flowers.

Slowly, he turns his gaze from them to his red-faced boyfriend. “...Did you give me asters, Aster?” “...Maybe…” “And– goldenrod? Are these goldenrod?”

He's looked at blankly.

As cute as this is, Daz can't help but double over with laughter.

“I–! What, what's so funny?!”

He wheezes, “You– asters mean patience and elegance, for one!” “I– I forgot about flower meanings.” “Goldenrod are also known as solidago.”

It’s obvious that Aster isn’t aware of the hiccups with that fact.

“Growth, encouragement, good luck, good fortune–” “Those don't sound that bad.” “And caution.”

Aster looks dismayed. “But they're– little and stuff! They mean caution?!”

Deeply amused, Daz tells him, “More importantly, they’re Lucid’s flower.”

“...Fuck.”

Giggling to himself, Daz looks the sad bouquet over. It looks like Aster tried to make it himself, probably thinking it couldn't be that hard.

Even though it technically sends a really weird message, it's also incredibly charming. He must have put thought into it– just not the right kind of thought.

“You’re so sweet. I know what you meant.”

There are several rapid blinks, Aster asking him, “You– you do?” “Of course I do. Asters from Aster, mixed with yellow-colored goldenrods. You must have wracked your brain to find something just right. You even made the bouquet yourself. It's…”

He gives Aster a warm, genuine smile. “I might have laughed, but it’s also really cute of you. I love them.”

Aster chokes a little as Daz drags him into the aquarium. He links their arms together at the ticket booth, beaming at the person manning it. “Two, please!”

The expression on the Sapnap’s face is priceless. “...Are…you here on– on a dare?” “What? Don't be silly, we're on a date!”

He scans his card before either of them can recover. “It’s our first one! I even got flowers.”

Aster’s face is bright red, unable to look at the guy. “And you– you dressed up. It…looks nice. Uhm– y…you, look nice.”

As awkward as it is, Daz is once again deeply charmed by him.

He's clearly trying, even if he's not good at it yet.

It's a surprise that Aster noticed the change, actually; his usual breathable cotton shirts under butter yellow hoodies have been swapped for a short sleeve black turtleneck and grey-and-yellow pinstripe blazer.

His pants are still grey jeans, meaning he's not out of place next to Aster’s heretofore unseen polo shirt.

“You did, too. I'm pretty sure your shirt is new, right?” “...Yeah.”

Daz grins at him. “Silly to spend money on that now.” “I– don't follow…?”

He lowers his voice to a playful hum, telling his boyfriend, “I'm going to redo all of your clothes. I'll sulk for weeks if you wear someone else's work. Only mine.”

Tone returning to a normal chipper one, he adds, “But I haven't been clear enough about that yet, I guess! I'm going to be remaking all of your clothes and then some. You'll have a nice, big wardrobe made by your expert tailor boyfriend.”

Aster stares at him, mouth agape.

The reader chimes, so he takes his card back and steers his date inside.

“A– all of my clothes? But they work just fine–” “They can be improved. Also…it'll make me happy. It's a form of claiming, you know? A way for me to show how much I care. You're mine, Aster. That means I'm going to give you the best of the best. If I had enough free time, I'd be weaving the fabric, too.”

Taking the opportunity to take charge while Aster tries to wrap his head around it, he heads to his favorite area.

Axolotls swim around, playing with each other. A few of them break off and swim up to the glass near them– a blatant show of favoritism, since they're not the only people in the room.

He has no doubt they're instinctively drawn to him, either because he's a mod or because San likes him so much.

It's something he's used to by now. Mobs, especially animals, gravitate towards him.

At least axolotls are a hell of a lot cuter than other ones; any venture into areas with hostile mobs renders him a target.

Even cows and sheep can be a headache, given their bulk.

Wiggling his fingers at the cuties, he coos, “Hi, little guys! How nice of you to say hello.”

Aster, to his credit, manages to clock the situation faster than Daz thought he would. “You've been here before.”

“It’s been a while though,” Daz tells him. “Plus you'd have trouble finding somewhere I haven't been. I check out places to be able to add them to the database. You could have taken me anywhere from the movies to blackjack to a strip club and I'd have been there.”

It’s actually a problem, because he’s desperately tried to convince people to willingly submit their new businesses for the database. There’s a fucking reward system, and yet nobody bothers!

He’s even tried adding it into orientation, and yet it did nothing. Why the fuck do none of them want the free money he’s trying to hand them?! 

Disbelieving, Aster echoes, “You've been to a strip club?” “I was curious what it was like, I was curious if I'd enjoy myself, and I wasn't going to ask one of the others to do it for me. Weirdchamp thing for a boss to ask you to do, and I try to have some idea of the places in the database.”

The others might give him shit for some of his actions, but he does still have lines he won’t cross.

The stare gets more intense. “And?”

“I didn't care for it. Kind of boring, honestly? I decided that I'd exclude that genre of establishment from my research.”

He'll choke down shitty food, but he's pretty sure it wasn't fun for anyone involved to have him politely disinterested at even what's supposedly one of the nicer strip clubs.

One of your few smart decisions. It was weird.

It was awkward and uncomfortable. He couldn't see any appeal, at which point he just kind of assumed he had no interest in anything of that nature.

Now, he's reconsidering that he might just be…selective.

Aster seems to relax a little.

…Was he jealous?

Leaning against his boyfriend's side, he teases, “Now, if you want to put on that kind of show for me–” “Daz.” “I'm just saying, it'd be way more likely to do something for me.” 

“I don't appreciate being mocked.”

The quiet mutter makes him scoff softly. “Teasing, sure, but mocking? You're being silly. Almost as silly as you sulking at the idea of me liking the sight of anyone else like that.”

Consider the third person that's going to get tangled up in your bullshit.

No, actually, he will not be doing that. Innit can fuck off and stop providing unwanted commentary!

Aster makes an affronted noise, protesting, “I was not sulking.” “You relaxed when I said I didn't like it.” “That– that's not sulking.” “If I had said yes you definitely would have sulked.” “Daz.”

He grins, twining their fingers together. “Yes, honey?” “You’re giving me mixed signals.” “Oh? How so?”

Heaving a sigh, Aster explains, “You– keep laughing at me, then calling me cute or sweet. You got– kind of possessive, and then mocked me for not liking the idea of you looking at someone else.”

Daz’s eyes widen as Aster cups the side of his face. “Drape me in your work, fuel me with your cooking, curl up in my arms every night…but don't laugh when I want to have some part of you that's all mine.”

He breathes out, head fuzzy from instincts, “Yours.”

A pleased smile curls on Aster’s mouth as his thumb runs just under Daz’s cheekbone. “Mm-hmm. You’re mine, just like I'm yours.”

Daz sways against him, clinging to Aster for support. Aster hums, his arms circling around his middle. “You look drunk.”

“Instincts,” he mumbles into his partner's shoulder.

He can feel how much Aster likes that answer. “Just hearing that wrecks your brain?” “Affirmation of bond. Feels– warm. Accepting. Good.”

There's another hum. “Makes me wonder if you'll be able to walk after I give you a claim.”

Definitely not. Tell him not to do it before I'm free, I don’t want to be there if things get weird.

Instead of bothering with that, Daz asks, “You’re– have you started it yet?” “...No. But I– I mean, I want it to be special. Using the ones we've seen feels like cheating. I have some ideas, though. I– uhm, I want to be sure it's right. I know it's really important, so…”

He tilts his head to be able to study Aster’s expression.

It's such a familiar face, but the look on it– subtle for most but clear as day to anyone familiar with him– isn't.

Warm. Fond. Like nothing exists but the two of them in this moment.

Reluctantly, he pulls back a little. He wants to stay like that, but Daz is aware they're in public.

This is already going to cause a firestorm of gossip and rumors as it is. Daz can handle it– has handled worse– but he doesn’t want to totally ruin Aster’s peace of mind.

Instead, he twines their fingers together again. Bringing it up and kissing the back of Aster’s scarred hand, he says, “We can plan on a day to give them to each other. I'm– it's going to wreck my ability to do much of anything. I will tell you that I am going to be weaving for it, though.”

Aster seems surprised. “You will?” “It's important. I can…”

For a moment, he hesitates. He usually doesn't want others around, and it's important to him to have some secrecy.

But at the same time…

“I haven't– haven't done it in a while. If you want to watch me while I get familiar with it again…”

A wide grin spreads across his boyfriend's face. “Yeah– yeah! I'd– I'd really like that. Will you let me watch you work on an endless number of undershirts for me, too?”

He scoffs. “You’re thinking too small. Once I'm happy with one, I'll just copy it to a suitable number. It's my own work, my time is valuable, and if Aver whines about fabric I can throw more money at him.”

That seems to take Aster by surprise. As they meander through the aquarium, his boyfriend asks, “That makes sense to me, but I know you're worried about perceived abuse of power.” “Anyone else who wants to complain is first required to handle at least one fourth of what I get done in an average day. It serves nobody's interest for me to make the same thing a dozen times. I've already been doing it for my own stuff, anyway.”

The reflection of the water shows on Aster’s face as they watch dolphins playing. A few of them come closer, showing off and vying for his attention.

“I’m surprised you decided that was fine,” Aster notes.

After a moment, Daz admits, “You get used to taking certain shortcuts. Even if you break them, it’s easy to fall back into the habit.”

A shadow passes over Aster’s eyes, his hand squeezing Daz’s.

It’s a gentle squeeze, though; careful and measured, in spite of whatever Aster just saw. He knows his own strength, and knows how to make sure he only hurts what he intends to.

He can tell that Aster saw something, though. There’s always a subtle shift in his expression, and it makes it easy to tell.

Instead of commenting on it, Aster instead tells him, “If you start making a whole wardrobe for me without making anything for Lee or Raine, I’m pretty sure they’ll kill both of us.” “You’d get wrecked by Lee, of course, but mostly because you’d sooner take the L than hurt him. Raine, though…I mean. C’mon, now.”

“I feel like he’d be insulted if he heard that.” “He’d be delusional if he thought he could beat you in combat. Even with a perfect trap, I just…don’t think that’s possible.” “I can think of a scenario where he could,” Aster chuckles.

With the sidelong glance and faint quirk of his boyfriend’s lips, Daz knows immediately that he means that it’d be possible if Daz was involved.

Pleased, he answers, “You’re so sweet.” “You don’t get enough credit for how capable you are. Prime help us if you ever use that against us.” “Aww, you’ll make me blush,” Daz giggles, leaning into his side again.

The gossip spawned from tonight is going to dominate the minds and mouths of Sanctuary for at least a month. Like it or not, both of them are capital-I Important. They serve in very public roles doing very public good.

The server knows them and their habits– or at least thinks they do– and this is going to feel like a radical departure from that.

Aster surely knows this. He might not be the kind of schemer that Daz is, but he’s not stupid. If nothing else, he’s surely aware of how much everyone gossips just based off of how much Daz has bitched about it over the years.

Thus, his boyfriend is clearly exploiting the rumor mill on his behalf! Aster is setting him up as being capable, something that people will take notice of.

Aster’s own reputation means his words on such things carry weight.

There’s no way that’s intentional. You’re reading too much into it.

Spitefully, Daz murmurs in Aster’s ear, “You’re doing this on purpose, right?”

The corner of Aster’s mouth twitches upwards. “I think you’ve been underestimated for too long, is all.”

He’s definitely enjoying the subtle, almost subconscious flex of power that Aster is using. The renown that Daz half-bullied him into obtaining is now being used to make Daz feel all the more special.

His instincts pulse in the back of his head, making him grin back at him. “I’m so tempted to kiss you right now.”

Face turning red, Aster mutters, “Don’t say things you don’t mean.” “Why do you think I’m lying?”

Turning towards him to look into his eyes, Aster answers, “There’s no way that you would want to kiss me for the first time in public. You’re already acting tipsy. You’d never make it worse by doing something with so many unknowns in a place like this.”

Gods, the way that Aster is right makes Daz wants to prove him wrong.

Evidently sensing that, his boyfriend turns a little more red. “Please don’t risk me needing to cancel the rest of my plans to literally carry you home.” “But–” “If you’re going to kiss me, shouldn’t you make sure I did a good job first? You might hate what else I planned on.”

If it was given as much thought as everything so far, that’s impossible.

The effort is clumsy, but all the more endearing for it. Aster so obviously has no experience with anything remotely like this– not that Daz doubted that, of course– but is still trying so hard.

It’s exactly what he needed. He’s spent so long planning and scheming that…he finds himself willingly, eagerly helpless in the face of this kind of awkward care.

“This is amazing,” he finds himself answering. “I– I know you did a good job.” “Really?” “Really. It’s…just right. I don’t need perfection, not from you. You did research for me. You made me a bouquet. You bought clothes, even! I…I’m really happy.”

Aster lights up, clearly pleased with that praise. “Good. That’s all I wanted. You deserve it– deserve happiness. Even if you can’t believe it yet…I’ll wait for you to accept it.”

Good god, get me out of here and find a fuckin’ room. In that order, don’t you dare try the other way around.

Really not Daz’s fault that Innit keeps trying to stir the pot rather than focus on the task of crafting a body that won’t end up with one or both of them dead.

Which it really should be aware of. Its causing its own hell, so maybe it should be quiet and tune this all out.

Aka, if it doesn’t shut the fuck up and stop third wheeling Daz’s date, he is going to turn into a petty little bitch and bother it right back.

Despite Innit sulking and huffing in his head, he says, “You’re right, though; kissing you can wait. I’d hate to ruin your plans! Besides, this is too public for that.”

Aster nods, looking at once relieved and ever so slightly disappointed.

“You know,” his boyfriend says, “I can’t help but notice that all of the animals keep swimming over to us.”

Oh, he was wondering how long it’d take for him to notice. “Yeah, that’s normal. All mobs kinda just– gravitate towards me? I’m pretty sure it’s ‘cause San likes me. It uh…causes some problems. At least with hostile mobs.”

“Wait– how long has this been–?” “Mm,” Daz says, sucking in the air through his teeth. “I dunno, kinda the whole time I’ve been here? I’ve always been good with animals, though. They just– cooperate? Are nice, I guess…?”

With a shrug, he watches as various marine life linger nearby before eventually moving on. Usually, once mobs see him for a bit, they’re content to continue with their usual routines. “Piglins really like me, too. Then again, I mean, I wear a ton of gold.”

Aster hums in agreement, brow subtly creased. “You do.” 

There’s a short pause, and then Daz feels scarred fingers gently rub the piercings of one of his ears. “I think you should try some new shapes, though.”

“L– like…?” “I think a silver star would be nice. Maybe with a piece of basalt in the middle, yeah? It’d be a nice compliment for your actual item.”

Daz’s breath hitches. “You’re going to make me want to do more for you.” “Then I’ll double down until you run out of things to do.”

A laugh bubbles out of him. “Are– are you seriously getting competitive over that?” “Maybe,” Aster hums.

It’s obvious that his boyfriend is enjoying flirting with him, and Daz finds that he’s enjoying it too.

The attention of someone he cares about being focused on him in such a public way is absolutely intoxicating.

Despite Daz having to push him to have a date at all, Aster seems to be making the most of it and making his intentions very, very, very clear.

Daz…has gotten used to a certain type of hunger. Of being touch starved; of his admin soul thrashing against his netherite-willed refusal to harm the people he still struggles to admit he cares for.

It’s still new and startling not to flinch away from the thought that he does care for them. He keeps starting to try and bargain with the curse– try to convince it that there’s no true connection in much the same way he was able to argue with his enchantment– before remembering that he doesn’t need to.

Before remembering that there is no curse. He’s free to love and be loved, and such a thing is so alien that it almost hurts.

A good kind of hurt, though. It's not unlike lancing a boil; the misery as you force the infection out, and then the bruised skin that's left behind.

This ache is a good ache. He’s flushing the toxins out of his body, mind, and soul, leaving behind…

Well, Daz isn't normal and never will be. But despite the long-festering wounds inside of him, maybe he can reach a state that could be called healthy.

“Boss?!”

Daz startles out of his thoughts as they’re approached by a Dream Team trio he immediately clocks as part of the Swords and Shields.

Kind of hard not to, given they're all wearing the earcuffs identifying its members.

“Holy shit, you’re at an aquarium?” “I thought you hated stuff like this,” the Dream notes. “You said it sounded boring.”

Aster clears his throat, still awkward as ever in situations like this. “I…might have said that, yeah.”

Daz squeezes his boyfriend's arm, leaning against his side to pout, “You took me somewhere you think is boring?! Star.”

“It’s not–! I didn’t know for sure, and I was–”

Seeing him flounder like this, a flash of panic in his eyes, is maybe a little too entertaining.

With a tone like he's making a joke, the George scoffs, “Took you here? What, like a date?”

Daz beams at him, wishing he could kill all of them for intruding. “Got it in one! I got flowers and everything. He even got a new shirt, which I told him was silly ‘cause I'll be remaking all his clothes soon–”

“Pfft, yeah, right.”

He lets his smile fade until his expression is entirely serious. Staring at them with wide eyes, he says in an even, almost warning tone, “I'm not kidding.”

Because Aster isn’t an idiot, he intervenes before Daz takes things any further. “He's not. We're dating. This is our first one, actually.”

Evidently concerned about him, Aster turns his head to study him. Threading their fingers together, he murmurs, “It’s going to take some getting used to. We knew this.”

“I don't like being called a liar about things I take seriously,” Daz mutters. “Especially when we were already…I've been making food for you for almost a month. And we– you've been helping me with my…problem.”

He's tugged forward into a hug, even though Aster must know part of this is just him being pissy they were interrupted.

“Other people don't really know about that, though,” his boyfriend gently points out. “We've both been extremely firm about being aro/ace, too. It makes sense that others would be confused.”

Sullenly, he slides his arms over Aster’s shoulders and presses his mouth to his shoulder. “But it's annoying,” he mutters, willing the interlopers to fuck off already.

“I– uhm, yeah, what the boss said,” the Dream stammers, seeming the most uneasy out of the trio.

Makes sense, given he had been in a rough place with his original Tommy.

None of this group came from the same world, instead having formed a bond within the Swords and Shields.

Aster sighs softly, carding a hand through Daz’s hair. He can’t help but sink against him, relaxing from the familiar motion.

Then his boyfriend leans in to murmur, “I planned on us doing Bedwars after this. You want to drag them there and let them see how well we work together?”

Daz perks up, pulling back just enough to grin widely at him. Leave it to Aster to know exactly how to lift his spirits. “Date saved! Let's do that, please.”

He extracts himself from Aster in order to turn to the trio. “Because you were jerks and interrupted our date and called me a liar, you're going to come play Bedwars with us! Then we'll be even.”

The George protests, “How is that fair?!” 

“If you don't want to do that, it's okay! I'll just hold a grudge and exact revenge in less obvious, immediate, and stoppable ways.”

With a giggle, Daz says, “Gosh, did you know that I, like– know a whole lot of people? It'd be suuuuuper easy for me to make a few calls and kinda just–”

He mimes an explosion, complete with a sound effect.

“--y'know? I don’t usually use my connections for that kinda stuff, buuuuuuuut for this? Mm…yeah, no. Be it a tithe of bruises or a tithe of gossip, you will pay for this.”

Aster warns, “I'm not going to be able to stop whatever he starts. If you have any sense at all, you'll just come play the damn game. Then, at least, you'll get a chance to see Daz in action.”

Bright and bubbly, Daz giggles, “Surely my nosy juniors want to know just how good I am, right?”

“I’ve heard rumors the only person good enough to spar with you is Aster,” the Sapnap says, clearly doubtful. “And didn't you join after us–?”

“Daz was an early member, he just never came into the training hall,” Aster tells them.

Ever-so casually, Aster rubs the shield charm on Daz’s earcuff.

Maybe, one day, he'll wear his real one. For now…he still needs to keep some secrets.

“I was there for the Blind Man’s Bluff game, you do not want to fight him,” the Dream mutters. “It was– it was like he was hacking!”

Again, Aster says, “If he decides to retaliate, I can’t do anything about it. Not just because we’re dating but, I mean–” “You’re still mad about the Among Us games, huh?” “So mad.”

Daz grins at his partner’s sullen expression. “I’ll make it up to you later?” “You could make it up to me now.”

He laughs, bright and cheerful. “Oh, Star…you don’t want me to make it up to you here. There are witnesses, yeah? I thought we agreed to save that for when we’re alone.”

Adorably, red spreads across Aster’s cheeks and his gaze skitters away. “I– uhm. Didn’t think you meant– that.”

“You can be embarrassed,” the Sapnap says, like that’s an alien concept. “He’s all shy at the thought of getting a kiss! It’s so sweet, and I’m going to abuse that fact ‘cause I love this side of him,” Daz giggles.

“Daz,” Aster squawks, staring at him in minor horror. “Yes, dear?” “Do you have to be like this?” “You know the answer to that,” he hums, idly twirling a strand of his own hair around a finger.

Because he’s staring at his boyfriend, he sees the exact moment that he decides to get even. Chin kicking up, Aster tells him, “I’m going to carve a bracelet for you and I will need multiple tries to make sure it’s perfect. So while you’re plotting all those clothes, make sure anything you make for yourself shows off your wrists. Mine, too, obviously.”

His brain breaks a little.

“You’re– doing a bracelet?” “Mm-hmm.” “For me. I’m getting a bracelet from you?” “And I’m going to carve it myself. I bet I can get help for the stones and any metal, because I know it’s important that I do the work on my own.”

Oh. Oh.

Warmth fills his chest so much it’s hard to breathe. He almost feels dizzy from it, from–

Love, maybe? He’s not sure; he’s not entirely positive he’s capable of that feeling.

A pair of hands cup his face, and Aster smiles ever so gently at him. “You like the sound of that?”

He nods, unable to find words.

“Good. Are you even able to think right now?”

He shakes his head.

“Even better. That clever admin brain getting wrecked was the entire point of saying it,” Aster hums. He’s clearly pleased, his thumbs running over Daz’s cheeks with unexpected tenderness.

Meekly, he nuzzles one of his boyfriend’s palms. “M’ yours?” “For as long as you’ll have me.”

The idea of rejecting him makes his chest sting. He mutters, “You’re mine now, too. Goes both ways.”

Aster snorts, smile growing. He teases, “It’s really unfair how cute you are like this, Daz.” “Mmh?” “It’s…I dunno. You looking at me like this, all– all sweet and vulnerable…makes me want to give in to your every whim.”

Right now, the only thing he wants is to be as clingy as possible. Eyes getting bigger, he pleads, “Then let’s go home? Takeout and a movie sounds really nice.”

“...On one condition.”

At this point, he’d do anything.

Aster turns his head, and Daz abruptly remembers that they have an audience.

…An audience that has actually grown a fair bit since this all started.

“Forgive them, and you’ll get all the cuddles you want. I’d be very sad if you tainted our first date by getting revenge for people not immediately realizing it’s a date.”

You should tell him no. Revenge is more important than anything else.

Damnit. Daz huffs, “I– fine, sure. Forgiveness, or whatever. You said you couldn’t do anything if I retaliated–” “Technically still the case. I’m acting preemptively, though, which is different. Damage control before the damage. Or, well, more damage than people realizing you’re not as innocent as you seem.”

“We have mandatory therapy for a reason,” he points out. “Very much not the point, Daz.”

Rolling his eyes, Daz shoves his wrist upwards. “Shut. I’m getting my cuddles, damnit, and now I’m going to pick where we eat from.” “Oh no, what a terrible price to pay,” Aster snorts, “you taking the task I have no idea how to do from me and I get to watch you be clingy. Truly, the worst timeline.”

“I know where you sleep.” “No shit, it’s literally next to you!”

Annoyed, Daz keys in the coordinates for his own home.

Aster stumbles, but quickly catches himself. “Did– wait, you teleported us?!” “Yeah, duh? Our business there was done, we decided to come home. Teleportation is a perk of my station, I’m going to use it when I don’t feel like dealing with annoying situations. Other people can set up stasis chambers anyway, it’s not like I did much different.”

His boyfriend opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again to say, “I– I guess? I still think it’s a bit–” “If you keep debating, I’ll pick the movie,” Daz warns.

“Is now a bad time to admit I don’t really know any movies? And, uh, kind of trust your opinion more…?”

The sheepish admission does make Daz snort.

You know, he had more things planned. You kinda ruined everything by being weird.

Annoyed, he hisses, “Will you stop?! You're the one who keeps wanting to indulge in drama, so shut the fuck up! Let me have my date in peace, asshole!”

“Didn't you two leave like, less than an hour ago? Daz, did you set something on fire?”

He grumbles in displeasure at the realization that Raine is lounging in the den.

Aster sighs. “We came home early. Daz’s brain kept getting wrecked from instincts. Aaand he was about to start throwing punches because someone asked why I was there.”

“Bold to think I wouldn't shank them.”

Raine's head tilts. “...So, out of curiosity–”

He's startled when Aster cups his face in both hands. Staring into his eyes, his boyfriend hums, “It’s kind of a relief that you wanted to just watch a movie and have takeout instead of the rest of what I had planned. Not only do I not have to worry about fucking up, but I don’t have to share this– this weirdly adorable side of you.”

Warmth blooms on his cheeks, his body swaying forward a little. “Mm. I just– it's hard to think. Or act. You keep…doing it on purpose. I'm– half tempted to just…order from somewhere we can get drinks…”

“Absolutely not. Do not get double drunk. Just because I can carry you home–” “You have a bed, too.”

Aster chokes a little, seeming at a loss for words.

What, is it that weird? They sleep in Daz’s bed, but Aster’s is somehow more intimate?

He doesn't understand.

Raine breaks in with a baffled, “This is weirder than I expected. I regret asking. Do I need to, like– go somewhere else tonight?”

“No,” Daz says, right as Aster says, “Yes.”

They stare at each other.

“Aren't we going to your house?” “That– okay, yeah, I kind of forgot that was an option. It's– small, though, and–” “Small means cozy.” “My bed is tiny.” “Ehh. I used to sleep on a couch. Your bed can't be that bad.”

There's a soft flinch, likely because Aster has seen just how tiny it was.

Daz tells him, “But getting drunk was a joke. You're free to cradle me in your arms all the way back to my room–”

With a soft whistle, Raine notes, “I've never seen you blush before. Fascinating that you're capable of doing that.” “So sue me, Daz is– he's good at making me feel all…flustered.”

“It’s my new favorite thing to do, I think. I'm pretty sure flirting is– oh, shit, right, let me put the flowers in something!”

As Daz locates an old vase he doesn't remember when or why he got, he senses Raine give Aster a confused look.

Whatever unanswered question he has is answered by Daz putting water in the vase and then carefully transferring his bouquet into it.

“...You got flowers. You brought flowers to Daz,” their mutual friend says slowly, seeming not to be able to process that fact.

He gushes, “Aster brought me asters! And also goldenrod.” “That…isn't that one taken?” “Solidago, Lucid’s flower. But it's really cute that he thought so hard about it! He got a new shirt, too. It was– clumsy, and awkward, and I'm like five seconds from kissing him.”

Aster slumps onto a nearby stool, burying his face in his arms. “Please stop teasing me about that.” “Still barely a joke.”

“Y'know what,” Raine says, abruptly heading for the stairs. “I'm gonna go– uh, it's early enough that Khons and Aleph are probably awake still…? Or maybe I can go hang out with Theo.”

“Theo is dealing with some rough emotions right now,” Aster admits, wincing when Daz levies him with a suspicious look.

Slowly, his boyfriend admits, “Theo might have– look, I swear I didn't do anything crazy or obvious! But, uh, well…he kind of guessed exactly what we've been seeing. Soooo…I didn't feel right just– just lying to him about it when we were already gonna come clean soon.”

Is that why he's been so nice? Hah!

A little growl rises up from his chest. “And?” “He doesn't– it feels weird. He doesn't want to feel like he's your enemy, but more importantly, he just…doesn’t even know if he does want it.”

Daz’s sight is overtaken by the future versions of both Aster and Theo gently swaying in place. Twin little girls are nestled safely in their arms, old enough to be able to cling to their dads but young enough that they must weigh nothing.

Soft, cooing noises slip out of Theo. Avian sounds? There's a little chirp from the one future-Aster is holding, making future-Theo melt with blatant adoration.

Future-Aster laughs, “What, what did she say?” “She called me Dad,” Theo says, kissing the little girl's fluffy golden hair.

She trills, swapping to clinging to Theo. The other girl chirps the same way, trading with her twin to hang on to Aster.

“That's right, Aurora. We're both your Dads. Your poor Mama is taking a well-deserved break–” “We had to fuckin’ negotiate with him so he'd take a nap. You'd think he's raising you two alone.”

Aster snorts, cuddling the little girl– Aurora– and teases, “They won't understand how stubborn he is.” “That'll change real fuckin’ fast.” “I dunno– we're not exactly slouches in that regard.” “Meaning…?”

Aster grins, kissing Aurora's chubby cheek. “Our kids have so much stubbornness in them that it might beat our husband.”

Daz blinks, brow furrowed as he processes what he just saw.

“...How the fuck does that happen,” he mutters, baffled at the prospect of– what, kids with all three of their genes?

Heaving a sigh, Aster admits, “I– I saw that we have three kids. Twin girls and a boy. The girls have bluejay wings.”

…He doesn't follow.

“Theo’s wings were bluejay wings. His original ones, the ones that were taken from him. When I mentioned we have kids with bluejay wings– just, talking out loud, wondering who the surrogate is–”

Ah. “That's how he realized.” “Mhm. I– I didn't want to keep it a secret, I just…didn't want to ruin the date. I promise I was going to tell you tomorrow at the latest.”

Surprisingly, Aster seems genuinely concerned…and utterly sincere.

Is he really that worried about ruining the day?

He laughs softly, despite himself. He really can't bring himself to be mad at him over this.

“You did still break the agreement,” he notes.

Aster deflates. “I just– couldn't lie to his face when he already figured it out.”

He hums, “I'll have to punish you.”

Heaving a sigh, Aster shoves a hand through his hair. Tone defeated, he admits, “I– I deserve that.”

Daz tilts his chin up with two fingers. He tells his boyfriend, “We'll go on a date to a nice restaurant. You'll wear something fancy– really dress up for it. That means that one of the first things I make for you will be a suit. I expect you to wear it more than once, hmm?”

As Aster’s eyes go wide, Daz leans in and purrs, “The Christmas gala. You'll be wearing it there, too. I bet you clean up nicely– nice enough that it makes me the envy of the rest of the server.”

Swallowing hard, Aster stammers, “I– they'll be too busy being jealous of me. I mean…you're you. It’s– they probably already…”

Adorably, Aster’s face has turned red.

His boyfriend abruptly shoots his arm out, catching a pillow that was heading right towards them.

As Aster looks at the object in confusion, Raine huffs, “Get a room! I'm right here, and this is weird! Stop– being gross, and flirting like that right in front of me! Sure, I think you two should bang–” Daz chokes on nothing, and Aster turns tomato red, “--but I don’t need to be subjected to this nonsense in my own damn home!”

“I– you think we should–?”

Raine stares at Aster, then pointedly gestures to Daz. “He might chill the fuck out. Maybe.”

Affronted, Daz protests, “My problems are not that easy to fix!” “Says the guy who didn't bother to use the direct line to a god to ask if he’s actually cursed. And who has quite noticeably calmed down after allowing himself to admit he's gotten attached. Oh, and who now actually sleeps.”

Uhg. He hates that those are valid points.

Still, though. “Aster would probably explode if we did that anytime soon. If I don't take it slow, he might have a heart attack.”

I refuse to be stuck in here during that. Make sure I'm free first or you'll regret it.

“Innit is voicing objections as well. Technically, its making threats, but that’s besides the point. Doing anything before giving it a body would be unethical.”

Raine stares at him. Daz stares back.

Slowly, his best friend says, “I'm not going to engage with this further. It's pointless.” “Of course it is.”

He turns to Aster, who seems shell shocked. “C'mon, let's go to your place and finish our date.”

There's a little nod, and Aster allows himself to be dragged away.

[lizzybeth1986]

Tagging @choicesfandomappreciation for Spread Kindness Week! I unfortunately was on holiday while this was on, so I missed the week while it was happening. Still, I do want to put up some (belated and very well deserved) appreciation posts for folks whose writing, art, content or even just simple posts make me smile!

For Day 1, I want to shower some well-deserved praise for the fan community blogs that encourage content creators with their events, competitions and prompts, and who tirelessly work to present hundreds and thousands of creative works in their masterlists. As someone who runs a couple events of my own, I know how strenuous it is and it takes a massive amount of drive and patience to do it on a regular basis!

@choicesficwriterscreations - I know you've gone through a couple tough weeks this month, and I admire how sensitively and compassionately you tried to handle it. So much love to the hosts and I hope you guys go from strength to strength! @jerzwriter and @cfwcmod-lucy, love you!!

@choicesmonthlychallenge - LOVE all your monthly prompts even if I am so sluggish in getting them done! Kudos to every single individual who has run the separate blogs for each month...you're all amazing and I love how each day has three prompts to choose from. You all really spoil us for choice. Loads of love to all the individual hosts - @liaromancewriter, @lilyoffandoms, @lorirwritesfanfic, @lucy-268, @peonyblossom, @songsaboutgirls, @midnightmelodiz and of course the mod of this blog @lovealexhunt!! (Forgive me if I forgot anyone!!)

@choicespride - So much respect for all the events you hold, with such a variety of prompts 💜 Picture prompts, dialogue prompts, scene prompts...you name it, we'll find it. And all the weeks are so amazing!! Much love to @peonyblossom and @songsaboutgirls, once again!

@choicesflashfics - I can't help but be in awe of how you put out all these great dialogue prompts week after week! And all different and easy to incorporate into stories. I admire your drive and efficiency!

@choicesprompts - Love the variety of activities happening in this blog!! The rewrite challenges...the prompts...the round robins and collabs - I've never actually been confident enough to participate yet but I really love how you bring so many writers together!! Lots of love to @angelasscribbles and @dcbbw for this blog!

@choicesholidays - Again, this blog keeps track of so many holidays and tries to include them all, and I really admire that! They've done great work 🤗🤗🤗 Again, much love to @angelasscribbles!!

@moodmusicmonday - Love the way you encourage us to share the music that inspires us to write!!

@wordwarriors - An amazing community - we try to meet up every month to discuss aspects of writing and how to improve on it, as well as how we can make our own writing more interesting. I love this little community!!

And of course all the character and book appreciation weeks! @drake-walker-appreciation @maxwell-beaumont-appreciation, @tobias-carrick-appreciation-week - these are the only ones I recall seeing rn but if there are others do let me know!! Loads of love to @angelasscribbles, @karahalloway, @harleybeaumont! SO MUCH LOVE to my amazing co-host for all my character weeks too, @sazanes!!

My lovely Discord Gang!! I have such amazing discussions with them 💜💜💜 @cassiopeiacorvus, @thecapturedafrique and @mand-delemonde - love you all!!

Also to the people who send me such nice inbox messages including @peonierose and @lovealexhunt - I'm very poor at responding to them, but do know I appreciate what you're doing so much ❤️🥰❤️

[elfhunk]

i messaged a while ago asking for advice about getting back into exercise/making it part of a daily routine, and i thought it might be nice to pop back in and say a few things!

firstly, your advice was very helpful in terms of outlining what i'd want to do/be willing to do/don't want to do. i was able to figure out a good solution for what i wanted to do, and have been able to stick to it well enough.

secondly, i've been able to make time to go to the gym and it's been really great! i think i forgot, or maybe wasn't originally appreciative of, just how nice it feels to set aside time to exercise and not have to worry about other things in that time period. i think it's also helped me be better about setting aside specific time for specific tasks, although i think there's probably a few other contributing factors to that as well.

it's been really nice to see some small improvements in what i'm able to do at the gym, too. i think going into this with a mindset of not looking for specific goals/changes has been helpful to me in appreciating everything more.

anyways, thank you for the advice and the motivation to try "new"-ish things, and for also emphasizing having patience/grace for oneself. the latter is something i still am working on, but i think that it'll get better in time.

i hope that you have a good day!

ah... this makes me really happy to hear!

it's a bit of an oxymoron, isn't it? showing kindness towards yourself for not meeting your own expectations... and then needing to remember that showing kindness towards yourself is one of those expectations you need to be kind to yourself for not always meeting?

that's all to say, i'm really glad to hear my nonsense has been mutually beneficial.

i've been joking that my renewed presence as a semi-public online figure is actually just me performing the exact same character i used to put on while running a teen center & other youth programs.

i think at this point in my life i needed this little platform to be so embarrassingly earnest that it becomes permission for others to act the same.