#iaw anonymous

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hi India, sorry if this comes like I’m looking for reassurance or anything… I’m just going through the first stunts after being away for a long time.

When McDomilson started, it was a little rough, but I brushed it off pretty quickly and didn’t give it more weight than it deserved because I was like, “Louis is gay, this isn’t real.” And it’s always been that way with Louis, even when bng happened, I’ve always felt sure about him.

But with Harry, it’s different. Like, when I saw that recent video, I swear it hit me harder. At first, it just felt like an emotional ouch, and then my brain went straight to, “maybe he is with her, he looks happy dancing,” “maybe he’s not gay,” stuff like that. And I know it sounds absurd, especially because I’ve been around since at least 2014.

And I thought it was just me — but I’ve seen a lot of people express this kind of doubt specifically when it comes to Harry. I guess it’s because a big chunk of Louis' fandom is queer and sees right through the bullsh*t, but Harry’s public image is so shaped by the media — 90% of people either project the “boyfriend fantasy” onto him and see him as a womanizer. That image holds more weight, and now that Harry’s gotten so famous, it creates even more distance between the people who’ve been here a long time and him.

And I just feel really bad for doubting him, India.

So I wanted to ask: why do you think that happens ? And have you ever had doubts about Harry? And what would you recommend I do when I feel like this? Thank you for your time💛

Hey, love!

I've written about half a novel's worth on think pieces regarding the perception around Harry - both by the public and by the fandom - but I'm a terrible archivist so of course I can't link anything, so I'll make this short and sweet. (Famous last words.)

You said you've been away for awhile, and I don't know how long that is, but personally, after having lived through Olivia Wilde, I'm pretty numb to Harry stunts. That was suuuuuuuch a shitshow, and she was so infuriating, and the narrative around them was so cringe that my tolerance for anything less than whatever that crapshoot was just skyrocketed.

But, if you're asking for a more wholistic answer (which I think you are), I think you and I fundamentally disagree on two things:

1) Harry didn't look like he was having fun to me, and honestly, he never does. That kiss - faces as distanced as humanly possible and completely upright to make sure everyone got a clear view of who he was, and eventually, who she is - screams 'sigh. Another day at the salt mines.' That is not how you kiss a budding romantic interest. That's not even how you kiss a drunken one night stand. He looks like he's a breath away from counting Mississippis out loud.

And that's the thing - the only time I've seen Harry truly enjoy his time with women is when they're clearly in a platonic relationship. Family, friends, co-workers, creative collaborations, artists he looks up to... I mean, the guy bought a dulcimer to be more connected to Joni Mitchell. With that amount of passion, you'd think he could muster enough strength to cross a bridge in Civita without looking like he wanted to fling himself off it.

The truth is, we've seen Harry be so interested and in the moment with so many women, just not the ones he's supposedly in relationships with or the ones the tabloids/GP are interested in. And that's what sets us apart from the GP -- we actually have fifteen years of data, and it should mean that it's easier for us not to have such difficulty with object permanence when it comes to Harry.

Which leads me to:

2) Harry is so steeped in queer culture, it's hard for me to even fathom him as straight. From the dedication to flying the rainbow flag at his concert every single night, to wearing a rainbow pin in his off time, to the people he chooses to spend his off time with (Alessandro Michele) to his taste in art (David Hackney) to his fashion references (Keith Haring, Christopher Kane) to his collaborations and investments (Harris Reed, SS Daley) to the movie he actually fought to be in (My Policeman) -- and these are only surface level, because I, myself, am not as knowledgeable in art and queer culture as he is -- I just can't view Harry the way the GP views him anymore.

There's so much context to who he is and what he chooses to do with his free time and how he interacts with queer culture that to view him as straight is to take him so far away from fifteen years of context that it flattens him to a one-dimensional person. A snapshot in time, which, incidentally, are what all his stunts are: one-dimensional.

Because, let's face it, at the end of the day, all those stunts have one thing in common: they ended. Always. No matter how many tabloid articles talk about how serious he is, and whether he's met their family, this, that, and the other, all those women end up in the same place -- the past.

You know what never ends, though? Talk of him being queer. That is continuous - whether it's debating his fashion choices or whether or not he's queer-baiting (he's not, real people can't queer bait) or who he's dating or his songs (hi, Medicine, miss u so much girl) or whether or not he's with Louis - his proximity to queerness, the questions around it, is what always pops up and stays present. Sometimes, it gets drowned out by the GP and the tabloid articles about the female orgasm or whatever, but it never really goes away, does it?

Because Harry doesn't let it.

So, yeah. I think this fandom has always had an object permanence issue with Harry specifically, and I have no idea why that is because I don't share in that issue. I look at him, and I see a guy with a pretty solid sense of self, who has matured over the years and made concessions for his circumstances like all adults have to do, but who has only become more and more himself in his art and his queerness, and that's why the stunts don't bother me. Because I don't think they're reflective of his values, the same way I don't think Louis' stunts are reflective of his values.

I trust them both to be good people, not because I'm blind or I can't adjust to nuance or change my mind, but because I have fifteen years of context and data, none of which has ever led me to believe they're not good people, even after all this time.

And no one has to agree with me on that, but if you're asking how I keep sane, it's that. I trust them. That's all.

[roocomehome]

📩 Simblr question of the day: What are some of your favorite behind-the-scene screenshots? I'm throwing this out to gameplayers, storytellers, renderers and the like :)

thank you anon!! 🫶🫶

this question is from the @simblr-question-of-the-day blog, check em out if you haven't :)

I'm gonna throw in mostly blender (and GIMP) BTS screenshots cuz i dont really have anymore BTS screenshots from sims 4 LMAO (I also ended up throwing outtakes in at the end :))

putting them under the cut cuz theres A LOT 😭

the full body (and prototype) pose of the Nirvana x Vanella post

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"you got any games on yo phone"

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A wip that i never finished,,, but nirvana being hot and seggsy as always (I wish i was that skeleton...)

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I learned how to do text in blender for the first time

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If you ever wanted to know what the BTS for that last scene in the Wake up Roo post looked like, here you go LMAOO

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not much to say about this one, i think it speaks for itself

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whenever I'm doing stuff on GIMP that involves layer modes, I like to go thru pretty much every single mode to see what looks good and sometimes i get fucking flashbanged 😐 (i also usually edit in the dark... so its literally like a flashbang for me)

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And for funsies, here's some outtakes that I rendered and may have edited that I never shared :D

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if you remember my international womens day post, there was this scene, and while it looks similar, this one is actually darker and is supposed to focus more on Nanel's hand placement :) I didnt go with it cuz iirc it didnt look right next to the other panels, but it is very pretty!

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From my emotions/feelings post, this was gonna be the one I used for Roo, but because of the lighting it looks like his mouth is open and not him just showing his teeth in frustration (which was the intent), so I changed it to be closed

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I think you can instantly see something is off with Kyneva's eyes... 😭😭 The lighting made her eyelashes look weird so I had to adjust the lighting to be more central (lots of lighting issues with these panels...)

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So like the others, the lighting was just too dark and I had to add a brighter light 🙃

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As an introduction of the "story" name for Roo and Leo, I was gonna do a post (which is why I learned to make text in blender) where Roo talks about the significance of the word "Hiraeth" in his life, which is that uhhh he learned Hiraeth from Leo lmao. But now he feels "Hiraeth" for Leo essentially. I still like the idea but for some reason I just haven't vibed with the scene and just haven't been motivated to go back and make that scene now esp. since I've introduced the story name now

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I was gonna do a short sequence in the Obsession Desperation post where Leo checks his phone and sees the notifs of Roo texting him, but figured it didn't fit the rest of the post and veto'd it :) But I'm planning/thinking of doing a post where it's Leo's POV/Side-of-things

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OKAYY finally the last one LMAOO This one i've shared before and is still an outtake, but i just love it so much I wish i could just shove it into peoples faces like its a cake. Only reason I didnt use this is bc I didn't have any dialogue that fit this panel and it didnt really fit in with the rest of the panels (this was for the Inner Child post btw), maybe I'll use it in a diff post one day <:P

[draftingtides]

What's your iaw tag?

it stands for inside a whale! it's from a poem by tanya olsen, and it's the name of a fic series i'm planning to write about trans martin and nonbinary jon

[hyunjins]

What photo cards do you need to complete ur collection!!!

LKFJDSA i thought this was gonna be an ask about me not doing mc hyunjin from last week yet 🥵 but i need like six more i think? i do have quite a few trades pending, but the ones i don’t have at all are yellow border iaw, preorder iay, pink border iay, limited miroh, miroh logo, and then the yw behind one!! 

[hanjisungz-remade]

okay but the most important question here is: who did your mom like the most? 👀

you mean which group ??? she liked ateez the most 😶 but she loved skz as well as oneus a lot !!! also she had her favorites in each group 🙇🏻‍♀️

[jestbee]

My one word prediction for next IAW chapter: Omegaverse!

Hmm, interesting! 

Anyone else have predictions for what they think the next chapter could be?

[logriteasvie1982]

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[indiaalphawhiskey]

If almost everything public about harry and louis is PR, isn’t it kinda worse that they’re actively taking part in it—rather than just admitting they’ve got flaws in their love lives and don’t always pick the right person? I’d honestly rather think Louis isn’t the best dad, or that Harry’s just trying to figure out his dating life, than believe they’re willingly selling a public image just to make more money.

You would rather think that a man who was raised by and who worshipped his late single mother would willingly subject an innocent child to an upbringing with a neglectful father figure, even though it's very clear he absolutely adores children in every other fathomable scenario, than think that Louis is -- like many queer celebrities before him -- just a gay man trying to survive a homophobic industry?

You would rather think that Harry, who takes every single opportunity to mention how much he loves deep romantic love and commitment, and being teammates and best friends with their partner, and growing together and protecting each other's solitude, is continuously and willfully choosing not to cultivate that kind of depth in his dating life, than think that he is -- again, like many queer celebrities before him -- in a long, happy, healthy queer relationship with a person he has a deep connection and history with, that requires he make realistic concessions in order to protect that one precious relationship above all else?

Really?

That's... that's what you prefer?

Couldn't be me.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

India what’s your opinion on Louis?

This is a Larrie blog, my darling. I adore him. I think he’s an incredibly strong and brilliant man who changed the trajectory of One Direction because of his willingness to lead, his astute business sense, and his understanding of what the boys needed not only to be successful as musicians, but to be safe and happy.

I really believe, like with my whole heart and soul, that his love made Harry everything he is today, and that he’s to be almost entirely credited for Harry’s confidence to pursue his weirdness. So, I credit almost everything I love about Harry to him.

I think Louis is talented and painfully selfless. We’ve diverged a little, in terms of the music he wants to make, but that’s not surprising because his musical influences and what I like have never generally overlapped, but there are songs on both Walls and FITF that I really love and cherish.

And while the current business choices he’s making (and the resurrection of PR stunting) really confuse me sometimes, I trust that he knows his way around the industry. In fact, of all of them, he’s the one I think who has always had the best grasp of the business side of music.

Otherwise, I worry often that he’s never properly dealt with the onslaught of grief he’s had to endure, and more than anything, I hope Harry’s comfort with therapy eventually rubs off on him because he’s always been the type to shoulder everyone else’s burdens and I have consistently worried that it’s going to take its toll on him even moreso than it already has.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hello hello! I’m new here but not new to the fandom by any means but I’ll be truthful, I’ve been inactive for years. I saw one of your answers floating around Twitter so I decided to dust off ye ol’ tumblr and have a chat. My question is: does it ever just feel? Overwhelming? I firmly believed in H&L for years but it got to the point where we were analyzing tee shirts for hidden messages (this is post RBB/SBB saga) and celebrating when one of them wore blue or green or certain numbers and it just felt like I was participating in nitpicking. Like the fandom was literally nitpicking tiny things to validate our beliefs. Then I left. You’ve been here for years. It never feels overwhelming at times? Like “what are we doing analyzing tee shirt references or other minute things? Has it really come to this?” I think I struggle with guilt feeling like “are we actually listening to them? Do they want us to do this or are we way overstepping?” And I don’t know how to reconcile those feelings. Your thoughts?

Yeah, of course it feels overwhelming. There have been some particular points that come to mind where I was personally like 'dude, I'm out'.

But, what I'm getting from your ask is that you largely felt overwhelmed based on the content you were surrounded by, and not what was actually happening. And to that I say: a big portion of the fandom remaining somewhat fun is making sure you're getting content from the right people. In other words, people who know their shit -- who know facts, who will honestly differentiate between canon and headcanon, and who are also willing to adapt their understanding of who Larry are now versus who they were in the earlier years.

For example, the blogs I follow don't read into coded clothing anymore, unless it's in an overtly attention calling way, like at Glasto. And, even then, the call to read into Louis' shirt came from a series of events -- liking the tweet + H stunting -- and not just because he was wearing a shirt, you know what I mean?

Sure, the blogs I follow will make memes and jokes, but they know that the coded clothing heyday of Larry is very much over, the same way the era of RBB/SBB is also over.

Longevity in fandom (in any fandom, as I've learned) is down to finding people who can have measured and reality based conversations about things, and who know when to put headcanon and speculation to bed. I think a lot of the more measured takes on Larry have been buried by the Old Guard leaving, because I remember a time when we really really really cultivated a culture of vetting and fact-checking, and it feels like we've largely lost that.

A lot of us have forgotten the reason we got into Larry in the first place, which was to support two people who were asking us to see them and their love. Signaling to us. Fighting for themselves and needing our support to do it.

I think there are much fewer Larries now who hold true to that call, and are willing to adjust their expectations based on what we're reading from older Larry and what they need from us now. Many more people would now prefer to treat this like a huge game of Come Out Clue and then will throw tantrums when they're no closer to "winning" than they were a year ago.

And yeah, if those are the people you're seeing content from, then I'm not surprised it took a toll on you.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hey, but could it be possible that harry is only interested in queer culture as an aesthetic or something? Because people always say he is highly influenced by his friends, and that his references are merely "aesthetic" and shallow, like he only mentions David Bowie or Feddy Mercury.

Art and merch by Keith Haring. Christopher Kane. David Hackney. Glenn Ligon. Hayden Kays. Fashion by Harris Reed. Alejandro Gòmez Palomo. A personal collaboration with Alessandro Michele for Gucci. He has a tattoo of a mermaid because, and I quote 'I am a mermaid.' He wore a shirt that says "I'd love to Fellate George Harrison". He showed up to the My Policeman movie premiere with a green flower brooch that references Victorian Queer symbolism.

Is it possible -- and I'm asking this very seriously -- that the people who say his references are shallow are people who only know David Bowie and Freddie Mercury?

Just because people don't know/can't recognize Harry's references on sight or can only do so when it's a direct nod to something that's well known outside queer spaces doesn't mean his references are merely aesthetic. It means he knows his shit and we likely don't.

Also, who the hell cares if his friends are the ones introducing him to queer culture? That means he's got queer friends -- real, proper queer friends -- who are open enough to share what they know and that he's interested enough to actually care and seek these things out for himself. This idea that queerness (or any interests for that matter) is only genuine because you and only you discovered it first without help from anyone you know is juvenile. It's giving "I can't like this band anymore cause now they're mainstream".

And, if this is a roundabout way of asking if his aesthetic is entirely down to the fact that Harry Lambert is openly gay and entrenched in queer culture, I need you to understand that Harry Lambert is not a parent dressing up a four year old child in sad aesthetic beige. It's a working relationship that has existed long before many people even entered fandom. If you don't believe Harry Styles will wear whatever he wants and only whatever he, himself, really wants, then you don't know Harry as well as you think.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

https://www.tumblr.com/indiaalphawhiskey/787769235697958912/hi-india-sorry-if-this-comes-like-im-looking-for?source=share

But Harry never says anything. He usually goes in circles when he answers questions and his image is super curated, like you can't tell what's real and what's not about him.

How can you be so sure about him and your perception of him when he never really says anything — especially when the majority is telling you he’s the complete opposite of what you think, not just the media but also tons of rumors?

Who is "the majority" telling me the complete opposite? Who? Name them. Quote them. Show me your sources.

Because everyone who has ever actually worked with, spent time with, and gotten to know Harry in any capacity has consistently said he's one of the most humble, hardworking, unassuming artists. That he was kind to every single person. That he's genuine. Shook the hand of every person in the room, no matter their title. Called the company that fucked up his Grammys performance -- one of the biggest nights of his career -- to check that they were okay. Didn't even bother to place the blame on anyone else when people gleefully shat on his performance, even though the fuck up was entirely the fault of the tech crew.

So, cite your sources. Give me reputable names and vetted links that say the same, consistent thing about him over fifteen years. Because that's what I'm basing my "perception" of Harry on. Fifteen years of personal and professional relationships, across countries and continents, that all say the same thing: he's a good goddamn person, even when faced with the most ridiculous amount of pressure.

So yeah, forgive me if articles from The Sun or user_groupie274693 from a random yacht off the coast of Australia can't make me believe he's a bisexual fuckboi who will use anyone that breathes within an inch of him because he's desperate to get press and attention.

And babes, if you wanna believe he's a terrible person -- that he's curated, that none of it is real, that he's lying by omission, they he spends his money paying people to put a positive spin on literally every encounter he's ever had -- then believe it, my love.

I don't care. You're one less person I have to fight for a ticket to a concert.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hi, do you believe L and H when they say they’re in the industry just to make good music? A lot of people justify their involvement in PR relationships or other stuff by saying, “that’s what they have to do to keep doing what they love,” but don’t you think that’s a bit naive? Or I don’t know.

Like, I know Harry’s said he just wants to make good music, but his public image is super curated and shaped in a way that clearly helps him sell more. He does massive tours, picks interviews that create award buzz, and in general he’s kind of a money-making machine. So… do you think his real intention is still just making good music?

I hope with all my heart that this is not a serious question and I'm not actually the first person in the entire world to explain to you how business works because I'm a little bit worried about the implications of you having internet access while this seems to be your very first day on planet Earth.

The entertainment industry is, as depicted in its very straightforward name, an industry that is built on an audience being entertained. How is what is entertaining and what isn't actually measured? By the willingness of people to fork over bucketloads of money to be entertained by specific artists.

Thus, all artists who are making their livelihood through their art have to be -- first, foremost and more than anything -- marketable. Saleable. Lucrative. Money-making. Before talent, before beauty, before vision, what gets you signed -- and more importantly retained as an artist -- is your potential to keep making a shit ton of money.

This is why artists who were formerly at the top of their industry get dropped by their labels and management the very second they have scandals or health issues or their potential dips for any reason, because all artists are commodities and are constantly weighed against their promised return on investment. No contract is secure, and so artists, even those at the top of their game, constantly have to prove that they're worth investing in, in order to (now hold onto your hat, cause this is where your mind gets blown) continue to make art that matters to them.

Because being saleable is a prerequisite to having the freedom to create the art you believe in. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive, they're actually cause and effect.

An artist's marketability is literally the only bargaining tool they have to get the big wigs to let them make what they want. That's why One Direction was only allowed to start writing their own songs when Louis fought for that right during Midnight Memories -- because they were literally too lucrative to bulldoze over by that point, and their management and label had to weigh the monetary gains versus losses of potentially pissing them off enough to lose their cooperation completely.

Now, how does an artist prove that they're marketable and lucrative, particularly when they don't have a new album ready to come out yet? By generating press and keeping people interested in them. This shows the big wigs that people still care about them -- will still go to their shows and buy their music and watch their interviews and purchase literally anything remotely tied to their name.

So, yeah. I do actually think that the only bloody reason they're doing all this is because music matters that much to them. Because it's their craft and their art and they love it to the point of being willing to put up with an absolutely abusive industry.

Because, I think you guys have forgotten: these boys are rich rich. Like, own multiple properties around the world rich. Invest in stadiums rich. Buy football teams rich. Have business portfolios that are generating passive income in the millions, literally while they do nothing. So, instead of positioning them as greedy, disingenuous monsters who only want more money and more attention, ask yourselves if they even need to put up with any of this shit to stay rich?

The answer is that they don't. They could retire tomorrow and their investments would keep on rolling. They're set for life. So, if they're putting up with the industry even at that point, doesn't it stand to reason that they just fucking love making music that fucking much?

But hey, it seems like you guys are bending over backwards to prove Louis and Harry are shit people. And to that I say: if that's what you think, why do you even care? If you think they're manufactured robots with not an inch of authenticity to them, why are you even bothering to debate with people who don't agree? You're in charge of where your attention and your money go, and if you're already so convinced they aren't worthy of it... then just don't give it to them?

Trust me dude, they won't notice.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

It honestly amazes me, the lengths some of you will go to belittle growth. Even growth that's entirely holistic and consistent over fifteen years. Because the definition of pretense is that it's not based on a real interest but rather an aesthetic, and garnering joy solely from an aesthetic actually requires people to see it. We didn't see Harry visit Hosono in Japan, until a friend of his shared that private picture for his birthday. We didn't even know he was quoting Rilke, until we Googled it ourselves. The books we know he reads are from us zooming into pap photos of them hanging out of the bottom of his very full bag. We know he bought a dulcimer because it was mentioned once in an interview.

By and large, all the "pretentious" things Harry does are private and off camera. But even if they weren't, what differentiates pretense from real interest, if not just the fact that you, personally, don't view it as authentic or relatable?

And what is superficial about him exactly? The fact that he still hangs out with all the same people he's known since childhood and when he first got famous? The fact that he seeks out session musicians no one really knows in order to give them a leg up in the industry? The fact that he wears the same Adidas jacket until it falls apart? The fact that Harry Lambert couldn't pry his grubby Vans from his cold, dead fingers even on a red carpet? The fact that his day to day outfits consist of a collection of vintage Disney shirts?

Or is it that he wears designer clothing on stage and on red carpets? Because, if I'm not mistaken, so does Louis ($900 Prada tank that got ripped off his body) and everyone seems to deem that "king behaviour", right?

I don't mean to be facetious, but did you really expect someone who has been in the spotlight for over a decade, earning the money that he does, to have the same taste as a sixteen year old boy who'd only been to London once? Was Harry supposed to just continue wearing beat up purple Supras for a decade, to prove to you that he's "relatable"? The way some of you glorify stagnancy and reframe it as relatability is super appalling, and honestly, fucking frightening.

I'm not the same person I was when I was sixteen. My taste has grown along with my earning potential. I have new hobbies, and I learn new things, and I hang out with impressive people because I like being the dumbest person in the room. It means I'm in the right room.

Stop reframing expansion of self as superficiality and pretense, just because it's intimidating. Stop glorifying stagnancy. Allow yourself to become a broader person in the span of over a decade, I beg of you. Let yourself become interesting.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

When you talk about queerness, you do know know that bisexuals exist, right?

I do, because I am one.

But the problem with this argument is that people only ever seem to make it in an effort to prove Harry isn't with Louis/convince themselves that they have a chance with Harry, not to advocate for Harry actually being bisexual and to speak up against bi erasure.

Because, frankly, if you paid attention to the pattern of Harry's signaling over the last fifteen years, it all points to him being a closeted gay man in a relationship with another closeted gay man. But conveniently, none of those nuances ever seem to outweigh him stunting with a woman in your eyes, even though every single one of his heterosexual leaning relationships have clearly been for PR.

So, my question to you is, you do know closeted gay men exist, right? And no matter how you try to frame closeting as bisexuality, it's actually not, if the person in question has a pattern of loudly making explicit queer references to being gay? Right?

[indiaalphawhiskey]

India, I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but I’ve noticed that something you really value about Nicola is how vocal she is when it comes to different social causes, how she consistently speaks up in different ways. That’s honestly something I admire too.

So my question is: how do you personally deal with the fact that L and H aren’t very outspoken when it comes to activism or social issues, especially when that’s something that really matters to you? And even more so considering that people around them have been called out as problematic.

I’ve especially seen you talk more about Harry, and he’s often labeled a “yes-man” or called out for his privilege because of the people he calls “friends.” How do you navigate all that and still feel comfortable supporting him?

Hi, love. So, this is an extremely complex question with no simple answer, but I'm going to answer it as best I can. I don't expect people to agree with me, nor do I expect people to think what I'm doing is inherently right or enough. Conversely, I'm not here to debate these choices with strangers on the internet. This is just me, a human, coping with the realities of the world and trying my best.

I've worked in humanitarian aid for six years and it's been very humbling for my personal ethics. What do I mean by that? I mean that I've seen, first hand, titans of the sector -- and I mean people who have been on the ground for literal decades, who have done this every day of their working life until their literal dying breath (I am not exaggerating) -- constantly grapple with the very real, very tangible consequences of what I foolishly thought were "easy, obvious" questions, with "inherently right and wrong" answers. It has made me extremely aware of how little I truly understand about the hand of global politics in what should be universal human rights and what it really means to stand ten toes down and speak out when you genuinely have something to lose, both personally and professionally.

Because, the truth is, most of us do not have anything to lose. Some of us do, of course, but not all of us. Certainly not me. My livelihood was aligned with my ethics, everyone I respected, respected my ethics, everyone I worked with expected me to speak out. My life was (and is) very easy in that regard. And therefore, it's very easy for me to look like a "good person", because I'm doing the right thing with nothing at stake. But who would I be if I truly had to sacrifice something for my ethics? What if my career, my safety, the safety of my loved ones, my relationship with people who I have loved my whole life, were threatened? Would I be brave? Would I speak out? Would I stand ten toes down? I truly don't know.

Every day I break bread with people whose political and ethical views don't necessarily align with mine, because the truth of my life is that I can't sanitize it so that I only have relationships with the people who agree with me. That's not pragmatic, and more than that, I don't know that I'm personally brave enough to do that.

What I learned about Nicola on the Bridgerton world tour is that she's an exceptionally brave person, because she can do all of these things in the midst of the biggest break of her career, which she has worked towards since she was nine years old, even in the face very real consequences to her personal and professional life. I love her for it. I aspire to it. It makes her so, so, so wildly beautiful to me.

But, what I also learned is that not a lot of people are brave, never mind exceptionally so -- not her co-stars, not Harry, not Louis, not any of the boys, and not me. And, if you have decided you can only stan/love people who are because that's how you choose to utilize your support, then that is a decision you've made and you're welcome to it. But, I don't know that I could personally live up to that standard, so holding celebrities to it -- even celebrities I truly love -- feels hypocritical. This is not me excusing their silence. I'm acutely aware that they've been silent, and it's top of mind when I think about them, all the time. I won't ever forget it.

That means that I'm never going to stop wanting them to do good. I'm never going to stop hoping that they do speak out (all of them, because I hold all the boys to the same standard). I'm never going to stop hoping that they distance themselves from people with questionable reputations. But, until I can hold myself to my own moral standards without a shadow of a doubt, I can only assume that others are doing the same within their personal and professional limitations.

I understand if that's not enough for people, but everyone has to decide that red line for themselves. I'm not here to convince you to support people who aren't living up to your moral standards. I've just learned through my work that I don't know anything. I'm not as smart, or as kind, or inherently as good as I think I am. I'm just currently in circumstances that allow for me to be.