#incapableofsmallanswers

[atomicrebelfire]

You’re so right about the double standard. We can argue that Buck is a main so we should instinctively offer him empathy. And yes we do feel for Buck. But even if Tommy is just a guest, why people can’t have some empathy for him as well? Guest or not, he’s a character with emotions, just like anyone. Both Buck and Tommy expressed the same emotion which is jealousy here, on the different occasions, and yet people’s reactions were completely different.

yes exactly, thank you for putting it so clearly 💛 and thanks for adding so much more context to this discussion. And I think part of the reason Tommy doesn’t get empathy, even when he’s expressing the same emotions Buck is, is because some people only care about him as an add-on to Buck’s story. And I’m gonna say something that might be a bit more upsetting to some, but I don’t think Tommy’s insecurity in that moment was out of line or unjustified(even as retcon). He wasn’t irrational, he wasn’t possessive — he was hurting and unsure, and trying to keep his distance without making it worse. and there was nuance to it. That deserves empathy too.

People pick their emotional fav and defend them no matter what. The other characters stop being allowed to have emotional complexity. Their feelings become inconvenient. Tommy isn’t centered, so people don’t listen. They just wait to see how Buck reacts. He becomes the only POV that matters.

Meanwhile, Buck/or other fav are treated like the shiny emotional core — the one who has to be good, has to be understood, has to be comforted. And if someone else’s emotions challenge that, suddenly it’s uncomfortable. Suddenly it’s easier to ignore, flatten, or resent.

We’ve seen this happen before, like in Lone Star Season 4, even with two mains, when Carlos deserved legit criticism after the marriage lie. TK should have been way more upset. But the fandom reaction? “Oh, poor Carlos, he only lied because he was scared 🥺” Like... no. That was a betrayal. And TK’s pain barely got space in canon or fandom.

People latch onto one character and take things personally. It becomes about protecting their fav, not understanding the dynamic. And that’s how emotional imbalance in the narrative gets reinforced in fandom spaces too. ☹️ And that’s not fair. Not to Tommy. Not to the story. Not to fans. And honestly? Not to Buck either.

Sending you love ��🥰

xoxo

[atomicrebelfire]

I’ve read your last answer about emotional imbalance in narrative and lack of empathy to certain characters bc they’re not mains and what it immediately reminded me of is Karen!!! As far as I know people love her, and even though I wasn’t in the fandom for the seasons I’m about to mention I’m sure she got sympathy BUT in canon it really pissed me off in the earlier seasons when they had Eva or IVF arguments that Hen was the one 'set up' to be empathised with. At least I felt it that way. Because Karen’s worries and grief were legitimate and she had every right to them. But what we got was Hen venting to Chim, occasionally making some flippant comments about her marriage, talking about how exhausting or even unfair to her it all is. And then it’s all good because despite all that she’d mention how she understands and supports Karen or admits to her own mistakes and suddenly you can’t be mad at her and not empathise with her. And then everything aligns for her and ends happily.

It was pretty clear that it was expected from me in the story telling to feel for Hen because she’s main and she’s the focus of the story and I’m not against that. But it doesn’t mean I can’t feel more empathy for Karen because it does NOT equal to no empathy for Hen

yes, yes, YES. this is such a brilliant point 🫶 and thank you for adding this context into the conversation. You’re absolutely right. the story guides our empathy by focusing the emotional fallout through certain characters. Hen, Buck, Eddie — the show wants us to feel for them, even when they mess up. and to ignore their actions.

Karen was going through very real, very valid grief. She had every right to be upset, hesitant, and frustrated. But Hen, being the main, got the focus. Karen’s forgiveness was expected. And so was ours. No accountability. No centering of her pain.

Even in S7, Karen wasn’t wrong. But the show framed her as if she was being unreasonable for asking Hen to do more than just the bare minimum in their kid’s life. And then what happens? The very next beat is Denny getting injured. So we’re forced to sympathize with Hen. It’s emotionally manipulative. Karen was written as the counterweight to Hen’s development, not as someone whose own pain mattered.

Same with Buck in S8. Episode 8x06 gave us the conversation with Josh before the breakup scene, to remind us Buck was struggling with his feelings and to help us feel sympathy when we think back on the breakup. But when that didn’t land for everyone, suddenly we got the baking scene in 8x07. A soft reset to keep the audience on his side.

Meanwhile, Tommy? We got nothing. No POV. No voice. Just silence. So it’s easier to call him cruel or distant, because the story didn’t frame his pain as ours to feel. He’s treated as an emotional extension of Buck’s story. If his feelings can’t be quickly folded into Buck’s arc, they’re seen as disruptive. Or he’s missing completely from the frame.

And yes, the same pattern shows up with Eddie. The show is written in a way that insists we empathize with him. When he lashes out, we get context, vulnerability, sadness, Chris. Something to soften the blow. But when other characters are hurt by him, it doesn’t land the same way.

Empathy shouldn’t be limited to whoever the camera centers. This show is structurally weighted toward the fan favorites. And it’s incredibly lopsided, and not story-centric. The voices of side characters deserve to be heard and focused on. this show has no accountability when it comes to fan Favs. and side characters need to do the emotional labor.

So feeling for Karen doesn’t mean we hate Hen. Feeling for Tommy doesn’t mean we hate Buck. And not feeling for Eddie in certain moments doesn’t make us a bad fan. It makes us honest. that we are focusing on the story.

We’re allowed to question who we’re being asked to empathize with, and why.

Sorry for my ramblings. Sending you love 🫶🥰

xoxo

[atomicrebelfire]

Got a kind anon I won’t share publicly, but I just want to say — thank you. Truly. 💞 It really means a lot to know that others have been feeling the same and quietly sitting with these thoughts, unsure whether it was safe to say them out loud. I think a lot of us were just… tired of the discourse and didn’t want to make it worse. But hearing someone say “you’re not alone”? That matters.

And the truth is, it’s just easier to blame one person than admit your fav made a wrong move. I get that, it’s hard to sit with the fact that someone you love in a story made a mistake. But 9-1-1 has always been a show about flawed people. About messing up. About trying again. Learning. Growing.

So when we break down a scene, we have to look at both sides. Not just the one we feel emotionally loyal to. And it’s kind of wild how angry some folks get when their fav isn’t held in golden light. As if critique means hate. As if being honest means we’re attacking. critique and hate are not synonyms.

And Tommy? He’s become such an easy target in almost every corner of the fandom. People love to dump it all on him because it’s more comfortable than sitting with the complexity of what actually happened — especially when Buck is the one making the wrong move.

I don’t know why people assume we hate Buck. I love Buck. I care so deeply about his arc. That’s why I critique him. That’s why I want to hold him accountable — because I believe in his ability to grow. Because the version of Buck I love is the one who learns and thrive.

So yeah. Just really grateful to know others are out there thinking the same, even quietly. We’re not alone in this. And your read of the story? It’s valid too.

Sending you love 🫶🥰

xoxo

[atomicrebelfire]

lol, both Tommy and Buck are emotionally evasive. The bashing of Buck is fucking wild. Neihter are flawless woobies and neither are villains.

Sorry it took me few days to reply. I’ve been avoiding my inbox and wasn’t very active here past week.

I mean… yeah. Emotional avoidance is literally their love language 😭 But this was never about making Buck the villain. I think we’ve just gotten so used to offering him empathy on instinct that others hurt sometimes gets overlooked. So if it seems like I’ve been “dragging Buck” lately (honestly...which i am not) , it’s only because I believe he could’ve done better. And I want him to. That’s love, your honor.

Bad jokes aside — saying Buck was wrong isn’t bashing. Being critical isn’t hateful. It’s not about blame, it’s about understanding character choices. And holding a main character to scrutiny isn’t an attack. it’s called analysis.

I’ve never woobified Tommy or buck. I just refused to let both of them off the hook. that's the whole point.

Yes, both were at fault — relationships involve two people. And as a fandom, we’ve extensively unpacked where Tommy went wrong: his emotional evasiveness, impulsiveness, poor timing, and communication issues. That critique exists, and it’s been fair and warranted.

But the second the lens turns toward Buck? Suddenly it’s “bias,” “bashing,” or “trying to make Tommy the victim.” No. What we’re doing is holding both characters to the same standard and if anything, Buck should be examined more closely. We’ve known him since Season 1, Episode 1. His patterns are established. That means he gets more depth but also more accountability.

Buck shut down. He didn’t communicate. He pulled away at a crucial moment. He left someone hanging after pulling them in. That’s not slander. That’s canon.

Loving a character doesn’t mean shielding them from critique. It means being willing to see the mess, the flaws, the consequences and still care enough to look closer. That’s not bias. That’s balance.

Because “both were at fault” can’t be where the conversation ends. It’s where it starts. If we say both were responsible, we actually have to talk about both. else it's a cop out.

And if that makes anyone uncomfortable… maybe it’s not because the analysis is unfair. Maybe it’s because they’re just not used to Buck being on the other side of it. 🤷‍♀️

And if you want to talk about it? I’m open to that, as long as we’re all being honest about what actually happened onscreen.

xoxo

PS. i think i'm incapable of quick takes or short replies. thats how i speak too!!!! 🤭🤣