#incorrectfantasticfour

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Johnny: Live fast, die young, and leave behind a pretty corpse, that's what I always say. Sue: Please say something else.

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Sue: Johnny isn’t answering his phone Peter: I’ll call him Sue: Reed and I have both tried six times each, what makes you think he’ll- Johnny: Hello?

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[Police sirens blaring in the background] Johnny, media darling, who hasn't done anything wrong in his life: They found me. Peter, public menace, who has 18 active warrants for breaking and entering and destruction of private property: Glad I'm not you right now.

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Reed: Anyone know how we can resolve this conflict? Everyone: *raise their hands* Reed: Without resorting to violence. Ben and Val: *lower their hands* Reed: Or childish name calling. Sue, Johnny, and Franklin: *lower their hands*

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Franklin: I hugged my sister for too long just to annoy her and she said 'unhand me'. Franklin: Like dang, of course, right away your majesty.

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Jen: How desperate am I? Ben: Oh, good thing Johnny's not here. He always wins at this game.

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Teenage Johnny, looking through his contacts: Dorrie, Spidey, Bobby, Ben. Dorrie, Spidey, Bobby, Ben. Dorrie, Spidey, Bobby, Ben?! Johnny: How can I only have 4 friends?! And one of them is Ben!

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Sue, bailing Johnny out of jail: I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. Johnny: No, it's okay. I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call Ben.

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Sue, about Johnny, Franklin and Val: I raised three perfectly functional children Valeria: You have three other children we don’t know about?

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Johnny: I’ve never been so humiliated. Peter: Me neither, and that's a really high bar.

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Namor: I once had a haircut I deeply regret. Johnny: Is it the one you have now? Namor: No. Johnny: It should be.

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Peter: What are you doing? Johnny: Oh. Just dicing veggies for dinner. I always make stir-fry for family dinner on Friday. Peter: Neat. Listen... Johnny: Guess what we call it! Peter: "Stir Friday?" Johnny: Wow. That's actually better.

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Johnny: So how’d you convince the whole team to betray me? What’d you offer them? Peter: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.

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Valeria is standing facing the wall Johnny: Did Sue put my favourite niece in time out!? Val: Yup. Johnny: I'll go talk to her.

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Johnny and Valeria are standing facing the wall Johnny: How long did you get? Val: 5 minutes. Johnny: *indignant gasp* I got 10!

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Doom standing in front of Val: Never speak to me or my daughter again. Reed: That's my daughter! Doom: Fine. Never speak to me or your daughter again.

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Sue: Can I just say - and this is very important so I need everyone to shut up - I love your hair. Medusa: Thank you. It's genetic and unattainable.