#int: blam

[cuprohastes]

An old joke.

I'll translate form the original Sanskrit.

This person des and is surprised to find themselves int he afterlife. There's an angel there, who says "Look, you were not bad, but you weren't really the best. Pretty mid, not gonna lie. So here's the deal: We've got three assholes from in a room. It can be anyone you like, fictional or real. And you can have this gun... but we only have two bullets for plot related reasons.

So the recently deceased take the gun, opens the door. After a second... BLAM! BLAM!

And then they come out.

"So who was in there?" the Angel asks.

"Oh it was Joffrey form Game of Thrones, Darth Vader, and Donald Trump."

The angel thinks about it. "OK, weird flex but... that's a tough choice? Who did you shoot?"

"Oh.. Trump. Twice."

[babyawacs]

.@potus @gop @potus @ivankatrump .@ivankatrump #trump  ifits not a win   buildup your kids for next elections thats allyou can do besides insist on recount mistakes wouldbe see what youcan thirdworld shitpresident rattle the usa to a thirdworl d shitball country and see ifthe fbi wont arrestyou over that later ie mistake would dsigrace your children long after you  this is my take onyour cu rrent situation as independent brightside blueaffiliate i n d e p e n d en t  take it or leaveit greetings //// @u sa @america hey whatever itwas, a boring ride itwas not with trump. the rootca uses are #critic or wait for another election right on. next @twitter blam ed andin trouble ////  @potus .@potus .@ivankatrump @ivankatrump #trump se ems with #georgia blue that youre not winning this. ******* allyou can do now is not damage you r kids and setem up for a later dynasty run in 8-12years ******* hope i s hope is hope is hope but mathematics are hard truth matters what youcan do then is demand recount while not damaging your kids as thirdworld shitball entity refusing to gi ve away a throne meant to be temporary and by the same votes that enabled y ou in the firstplace ifyoure not winning this:   ******* allyou can r e a l l y do now is not damage your kids and sete m up for a later dynasty run in 8-12years ******* greetings I am C hristian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTE L #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ Inquiry@BabyAWACS.com PHONE / FAX +493212 611 34 64 Help ful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss

.@potus @gop @potus @ivankatrump .@ivankatrump #trump

ifits not a win buildup your kids for next elections

thats allyou can do besides insist on recount

mistakes wouldbe see what youcan thirdworld shitpresident rattle the usa to a thirdworld shitball country and see ifthe fbi wont arrestyou over that later

ie mistake would dsigrace your children long after you

this is my take onyour current…

[gregwhite]

YOUR DAILY ROBOT

Our thrilling conclusion! Friendships are formed, betrayals revealed!

***

EXT. PARTY HOUSE - CONCURRENTLY The hobo pulls his pants up as Dale hands him a stack of cash. DALE Ernie, always a pleasure, my friend. HOBO Hey, it’s like the saying goes: you you keep giving me cash, and I’ll keep pooping for you! Suddenly a COP CAR screeches up to the house and shines a light on Dale and the Hobo. Dale blanches. INT. PARTY HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER A generator KICKS ON as every piece of electronics freaks out--blenders, stereo, microwave, cell phones. Robbie struggles to maintain her balance. Suddenly, SIRENS BLARE OUT and: RANDOM PARTYGOER (O.S.) COPS! RUN! EXT. PARTY HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER Two COPS try to corral the party goers swarming out of the house as Brian’s bros wheel him out a side door. They get to his car and: whoa! It’s covered in shit! BRIAN What the fuck?! My car! Dale steps forward with the hobo behind him. DALE That’s what happens when you’re not nice! You get hobo poop on your car! HOBO Hi. BRIAN You know I basically have to murder you now, right? Brian tackles Dale, falling out of his wheelchair and wrestling Dale to the ground. Just then, Robbie staggers out of the house, disoriented. DALE Robbie! Amidst the chaos of cops chasing partygoers out of the house, Robbie looks up to see her one true love beating her brother.   Robbie looks at Brian, looks at Dale, looks at the cops. What to do? She panics and TAKES OFF RUNNING! COP (O.S.) (over PA) Freeze! Robbie rushes back into frame and RIPS Brian off of Dale, lifting him to her eye level. She kisses him hard, then: ROBBIE Sorry! She head butts Brian, knocking him out, and tosses him aside. She gives a thumbs-up to Dale and rushes off. EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS - CONTINUOUS Robbie runs through the streets frantically, blinking wildly through her distorted, fritzing Terminator vision as the cop car gives chase! We relive the cold open as she dashes into an intersection and looks up in time to see a TRUCK BARRELING STRAIGHT TOWARDS HER! It’s about to flatten her when: WHAM! Robbie PUNCHES THE TRUCK right in its grill like the Hulk, causing it to FLIP OVER, BACK OVER FRONT, and come to a skidding halt down the road, taking out several cop cars with it. She runs away as accidents begin to pile up! EXT. ALLEYWAYS - CONTINUOUS With the choppers and cop cars in hot pursuit, Robbie struggles to keep moving as her circuits fry. But it’s no use, and she finally falls to her knees. With the cop car and chopper closing in, and SIRENS GOING OFF EVERYWHERE she GRABS HER HEAD in agony and BLAM! She emits another HUGE EMP BLAST, this time causing the entire lighting grid to fail! The choppers crash land and the remaining cop cars skid and slide to halts. Robbie looks at the terror she has unleashed, no idea what to do, nowhere to run, when: SHIRLEY (O.S.) Hey! Robbie looks up as Shirley screeches her bike to a heroic sideways stop, extends her hand and intones: SHIRLEY (CONT’D) Come with me if you want to live. Robbie struggles onto Shirley’s bike and they ride off as a telephone pole COLLAPSES where Robbie just stood. EXT. NED’S HOUSE - LATER Shirley pulls up to the house and Robbie hops off. The two friends look at each other. ROBBIE Why did you help me? I betrayed you, and I’m the worst. SHIRLEY You’re not the worst. You’re human. We mess up sometimes. But I forgive you. That’s what friends do. ROBBIE Aw, like a restart button. SHIRLEY Weird phrasing, but sure. They hug. It’s a sweet moment, or at least as sweet as a teenage girl unknowingly hugging a killing machine can be. INT. NED’S BASEMENT WORKSHOP - LATER THAT NIGHT With only her face on, Robbie stands with her metal insides opened up as Ned and Dale (badly bruised) clean her beer soaked machinery. ROBBIE ...and then the helicopter crashed, and then Shirley saved my life, and then we hugged, the end! NED Well, I guess we all learned a lesson today: sometimes being yourself can get you killed, and sometimes not being yourself can get you killed! Dale laughs WAY TOO HARD for a beat. Then: DALE Sorry. I think my brain is swollen. ROBBIE So wait: you’re saying that sometimes I should be myself, but sometimes I shouldn’t? That is very confusing. NED It’s called being human. ROBBIE Aw! Group hug for no reason! As Ned and Robbie it out, Dale’s phone BUZZES with a PRIVATE NUMBER. EXT. NED’S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER Dale steps into the backyard and answers his phone. RHONDA  (V.O.) (Russian accent) Hello, Dale. Your sister should be more careful. Dale’s face goes white. DALE ...Mom? (realizing) You’re alive? CUT TO BLACK. END OF EPISODE