#is it because they don't know about Walnut's EXISTENCE?!

[bubbleaestheticnikkitea]

Ever since I shipped Almond Cookie X Latte Cookie. You know in my headcanon is that, Walnut Cookie and Cream Puff Cookie acted as sisters; Walnut Cookie is biologically Almond's daughter while Cream Puff and Latte had a Matilda and Miss Honey ahhh relationship.

Yep Cream Puff is 3 years older than Walnut.

[nopanamaman]

Q&A: Nikita Reizner

Character interview. January 2024

Well, well, well, if it isn't everyone's most behated teacher. Today Nikita Danilovich will answer some of your most popular questions. The interview is image based, but you can find a transcript at the bottom.

Let's get to it!

TRANSCRIPT

VIOLET_GALAXIE asks: What’s your favorite artefact you’ve found in the Zone?

Nikita: I don't have an impressive resume in that regard. My job wasn't to collect artefacts, it was to keep those who do alive. I guess dropping my glasses that one time made for a useful trinket…

MOONPATCH asks: So, off the record, how tempted were you to try and kill/disappear Yura when he blackmailed you? Even if you decided against it, did the thought cross your mind at any point?

Nikita: Of course. That would be the easiest solution. Ah, but I’d prefer not to resort to that. I do not like violence. Regardless, I couldn’t do much after being seen by Sokolov. 

At the end of the day, threats to the family are just more practical.

DYMESTL asks: What is your relationship to the Kazarins? What made you want to work with them?

Nikita: Kolya knew the group Victor was part of first, I joined later. Had I not, that scatterbrain would bite the dust a decade earlier. 

The Kazarins are good folks. All of them. Victor was great. Maria, too. Their relationship, not so much. (She hated us. Really.) 

Well, even if both of them were still here with us, Sasha and Serozha would never grow up… normal. In the plainest sense of that word. But it’s only natural. People like us, stalkers - we’re poison to our families.

BRANDON ONTAMA asks: What's your relationship with Sanya? Any fond memories with her?

Nikita: Oh, Sashka? She ran to me whenever she and Serozha had arguments. Which was great, because I got her to check lab works for me.

Ah, and her cultural development is entirely my achievement. Books, films, documentaries. Scary to think what she’d become if she grew up watching nothing but those… animes.

REKANOCHI asks: Tell us about your daughters!

Nikita: I’m aware they exist. Two girls, apparently. But I was never stated as the father. I cannot contact them.

WALNUT: Do you know how Nadya’s doing these days?

Nikita: …She is dead.

[unkindnessesofone]

Photopsias [Gally x Reader]

Pairings: Gally x Reader. Word Count: 1k

Summary: Gally hates change. [Angst]

Notes: I haven't written in a while.

He was restless. Tossing and turning beside you and constantly ripping the thin blanket from your body. Usually with exhausted bones and a full-ish stomach, Gally was out like a light as if the prospect of nightmares didn’t exist. Tonight was different. You knew the arrival of Thomas, and the changes he brought along with him, had irked Gally. Still, it was strange for him to be up all night.

“I’m going for a walk.” He grumbled in one low huff. 

“Do you want some company?” Through a yawn, you asked. The question held Gally in place. He stopped pulling his shirt over his head for a second, contemplating. 

Once his brown shirt was on, he brought his chin to his shoulder, looking back at you in his bed in the hut he had just recently built for only the two of you, and nodded sheepishly like a little kid embarrassed that they were still afraid of the dark. 

You wore the blanket like an oversized shawl, holding it together at your chest, and took his hand. The usual nighttime soundtrack of the glade made up for Gally’s silence: crickets, low wind between blades of overgrown grass, and light snoring from your fellow Gladers fast asleep. Gally’s footsteps leading you around the outskirts of the forest was the only added note. 

“Are we going to talk about it?” Finally, you interrupted his stewing and asked. “Secret’s out - you’re upset.”

Gally walked a little deeper into the trees, sighing as he tried to decipher how to even go about expressing himself. It was easy when it was with his fists with the other guys, but talking was a novel concept. He didn’t let go of your hand, but he leaned himself up against the trunk of a walnut tree and sighed with his head bent back. The moon illuminated his face through the branches, softening his face that was otherwise tight from the tension he was carrying. His eyes opened slowly on you and he put his fingers between yours. It occurred to you now that he seemed scared. He was holding on tightly. 

“Talk to me.” You tried again, taking a step closer to him. The words were trapped between his teeth though, locked between molars. “Is this because Thomas thinks he found a way out of the maze?” It wasn’t a promise. He and Minho had simply found something new: the Griever's entrance.  

“I've been here three years. We had made peace with being here. He comes along and now, three days later, everyone's itching to get out -" His nose scrunched up as his eyes narrowed, casting his anger away from you and toward whatever was tangled up in the shadows of the forest. 

“It's just hope. For the first time, they feel -”

“Yeah, don't think I didn't notice how you lit up when he made his big announcement.” Gally snarled. He felt your fingers loosen in his grip and Gally adjusted his posture, standing at attention, trying to make out your expression. “What? You did.”

“Yeah, I did. Wouldn't you want to be out there instead of trapped in here?”

“We don't know what's out there.” He snapped, almost hissing as he pushed off the tree and toward you. 

“Change is scary, Gally. I know that, but if there's a chance-”

“A chance for what?” He snatched his hand away, gripping at his hair as his eyes dilated wide as if he needed to make them as large as possible to make you understand, to get through your head. “We're here. Our lives are here. I built us our own place. We have community. We have what we need.” His voice was getting away from him. Gally stopped to try and compose himself, running both hands down his head while taking a deep breath. He returned to you and pulled you closer, both hands sliding under the blanket until they were rested at your side. It was as if he was attempting to anchor you both to the Glade. “If there's something else you want, name it, I'll make it. There's nothing out there for us.” He kept his voice down, but barely. 

The silence felt as heavy as the darkness you were both standing in. The only thing you could think to say was the one thing you knew Gally did not want to hear. 

“But what if there is a chance -” His groan cut you off as he stomped away, his calloused hands off you like you were suddenly made of flames. “No, listen to me…” Following behind him, you pleaded. It was hard to catch up. He had long legs and knew the forest was better. You didn't want to trip and land in God knows what. “I have thought about a life outside of this. With you. A real bed or a home with a door. Or, I don't know, a morning where I get dressed without you standing watch…” Gally had to admit that would be a perk, one less responsibility. “Don't you want to know where you came from?” It had been the hardest part of adjusting to the Glade for you, having no answers to the past. Who were your parents? What had been your life? Did you have siblings? Pets? Good friends? You used to close your eyes as tightly as you could to conjure up a memory but there was nothing, just phosphenes.

“Not anymore.” Gally turned around and made your shape out under the crescent moon's glow. “Not since you got here.” Six months and three days ago. “I don't long for anything now. I'm happy here.” Maybe, it wasn't happiness, but he was satisfied. “You make me happy. This is enough for me.” A beat passed and you thought, maybe, he would walk over to you again. “I guess I thought I was enough for you too.” 

This time it was you who was at a loss for words, not that Gally gave you an opportunity to find them. He turned around and started going further into the trees, leaving you alone in the woods and as wide awake as he was. 

[loveyazy]

obviously with your low IQ and obvious mental difficulties you won't understand but sweetheart not everyone's first language is English. English is my second language so all you proved to do is how you equate anyone who doesn't know English to somehow not intelligent? brother get a life.

And that literally proved nothing🤣🤣🤣. Are you that daft??🤣🤣🤣

Also no sweetheart if someone is mentioned 500 times and you're still forgetting them then obviously you have memory issues not surprising with your shitty takes. Most people remember even barely mentioned character from book 1 because not all of us are mentally challenged.

And sweety do us all a favor because SJM gave Valkyrie their own chapter 21. Don't worry I'm not gonna argue with you on that obviously it will be waste of time with someone like you.

Next time boo boo don't make yourself this stupid because then all your takes become moot.

Also I hear almonds are good for memory

I really didn't. You accused me of reading comprehension difficulties, so I pointed out you shouldn't be pointing fingers if you yourself can't type out a grammatically correct sentence, but now you want to cry victim because English is your second language?

It seems like accusing someone of having difficulties with the English language makes you a *gasp* hypocrite.

Okay wait. So you're saying I have a shitty memory, but I remember characters mentioned/appear in book one and two and three and four and five and you don't, but only I have the memory problems?

Okay.

Are you really bluiela? If you are, you should just come off anon at this point. Someone already outed you, and I really could not care about blocking you so might as well stop hiding. Unless you're too scared to face me off anon.

And someone kindly pointed out bluiela turned off anons, so if it really is you, wow hypocrisy on two points today. Amazing.

Seems like you should take your own advice about almonds, because them having their own chapter 21 in a book that exists within the series does not equal chapter 21 of ACOSF. Here are some other nuts that google says are good for boosting reading comprehension skills.

"Nuts like walnuts, almonds, cashews, and pecans are considered brain-boosting foods that can potentially aid in reading comprehension."

Hope this helps, booboo!

[keeksandgigz]

thinking of eddie helping you braid your hair when you’re getting ready to spend the night

made this about eddie and witchy because i cannot stop thinking about them- this is also for the anon who said they can't stop reading it (thank u hehehe)

fluffy fluff below the cut, witchy being jealous and thinking of hexing his exes <3

He had to drag you into his apartment.

In a hilarious turn of events, due to some kind of San Francisco strike, all metro routes were suspended and there was no way you were going to walk in heeled boots all the way to Twin Peaks.

"Why call an Uber, baby? You can literally come upstairs at mine" Eddie says, watching you huff as you read over the e-mail about the strike.

"No Eddie you don't understand. I need to be home. I have a whole ritual! And silk pillowcases! Why can't you just drive me?" you whine, hoping he'll fold to your requests like he always does.

He grabs you by the shoulders, giving you a tender look.

"Because, my lovely witchy, metro routes being down means there will be absolute pandemonium in the streets. And I'm not trying to stay fifteen minutes stuck in downhill traffic" he laughs as you follow him around the store.

He's still working, you got off an hour before and after walking around the vintage stores for an hour there wasn't much else to do. It's just him in the record shop, working the closing shift. You follow him around trying to convince him to drive you back as he puts back the vinyls in the milk crates, folds band t- shirts, and rearranges patches in the display case.

"C'mon, witchy, just go up. I have Chinese takeout from last night or spaghetti if you wanna cook, I'll stop by the hair place across the block to get you a silk pillowcase. Promise" he says, leaning over the counter to kiss your forehead he opens up the cash till.

"But Ed-" you whine, you've never slept outside of your apartment before.

"No buts, I'm sorry witchy. Now get your cute butt out of here, I've got money out" he says, puckering his lips, ready for a kiss.

You lean over the counter and give him a quick kiss before he hands you the keys to his apartment.

"Don't forget to call Lorraine to get her to feed Circe!" he exclaims before you're out the door. You roll your eyes, of course you'll call Lorraine, your neighbor, if Lorraine existed.

But he doesn't have to know you can feed Circe with a snap of your finger whenever you forget to leave food out in the morning.

So you groan and you go through the backdoor of the store to reach the small, dingy courtyard of his apartment. Second floor, apartment 5C.

This building is so old it doesn't even have an elevator. You reach the door and open it, the rattle of keys falling over the counter is the only sound that can be heard, along with the clack of the short heels of your boots.

You take your shoes off and go through his fridge. Day- old Chinese takeout, a carton of eggs and milk. Three cans of Sierra Nevada, a half- drunk bottle of Coke Zero. You open his freezer.

Honey walnut shrimp and fried rice from Trader Joe's, a bottle of vodka, and a tub of ice cream from the last time you were craving it.

You roll your eyes and pick up the phone.

"Hey Ed, you have jack shit in your fridge. Can you stop by the Greek place down the block? I’ll have a gyro with chicken and falafel on the side” you request, hearing his groan at another chore he has to do post closing.

“Baby the Chinese food in the fridge is pretty good, it’s from the place we always go to” he’s not very convincing, but he’s tired and now lost count of the cash he was counting.

“‘kay i’ll put an online order for it so you just have to go pick it up, sound good?” you ignore him.

“Ugh fine but I better get, like, the biggest kiss in return.“ he groans, but it’s true. He is a weak, weak man when it comes to you. “Get me the pita wrap with lamb and fries, and lemme also get seasoned fries on the side. Thank you witchy, love you gotta go” he says, hanging up the phone.

So you order the food and then sneak in Eddie's bedroom to change into something comfortable. Getting rid of that fine line when clothes felt too much like clothes, the stitching pressing into your skin, the cuffs of your sweater feeling a bit too tight against your wrists, your jeans too tight on your legs.

So you venture in his closet and steal a pair of sweats and a ratty black t- shirt. One of his many. You go to the bathroom and notice there's no mirror. This dude.

So you tie your hair away from your face and use the nice face wash you got him- which you're sure he rarely uses- and wipe the makeup off your face. You go look for a clean towel, 'cause God knows you will not be wiping your face with the hand towel sitting on the rod on the wall.

After your face is clean you plop yourself on the couch and watch TV to pass the time.

Thirty- odd minutes later a rattling of keys startles you. Eddie walks through the door with his arms full of plastic bags. He places them on the counter.

"Hey witchy, I see you've made yourself at home?" he says, as you walk towards him and bury yourself in his arms. At least he smelled nice.

"Hmmm missed you, Ed" you mutter against the fabric of his t- shirt.

"You missed me?" you give a little nod, followed by a hum. His heart beats a bit faster, it's nice knowing you think of him when he's away.

"Aw, witchy. I missed you too, are you hungry?" he says, giving you a sweet kiss on the head as he detaches from your grip and reaches for the bag with the food, taking out the boxes.

"Also stopped by the hair place, got you that silk pillowcase and some shampoo and conditioner to keep here. Doubt you'll wanna use my three in one shit" he snickers, and you blush timidly. He's not sweet in the way that he'll kiss you in the middle of the street, but he is for sure sweet in the way he thinks about you an embarrassing amount of times a day.

"Thanks Ed, you didn't have to do that" you say, and he blushes, the boy tinges himself pink because you appreciate him.

"Y'know, anything for you" he says, giving you a kiss on the forehead as he brings the takeout boxes to the coffee table.

You follow him and plop down on the couch "I was watching 'Sex and the City' while you were gone" you explain, biting into your gyro.

"Was Samantha being her usual crazy self?" he doesn't even know who Samantha is, but he thinks it's funny to ask you every time. You giggle as he puts on a random show for you to watch.

After an episode Eddie stands up and stretches.

"I'm beat, I think it's time for bed" he says "c'mon, witchy"

You rise from the couch and follow him into the master bathroom.

“I have a toothbrush here for you, I kinda uh-“ from his tone you can tell he’s embarrassed “I got one for here the first time you came over, in case you ever, y’know, wanted to sleep over” he says sheepishly, while you wrap your arms around him.

He offers it to you, it’s pink. Your favorite color.

“Aw, Ed. You’re so sweet, thank you” you say and you swear you can see him blush as you place a delicate kiss on his warming cheek.

This slice of domesticity taken away from the mystic vibe of your apartment really makes you wonder. It makes you think about a normal life, with him.

The way he washes his face like a madman (without face wash), letting the water wet his bangs instead of pulling his hair back, the way he ties his hair up before brushing his teeth.

You take the toothbrush out of your mouth "Ah shtill don' undestand why you don' have a mirrah" you sputter, mouth full as you spit the toothpaste in the sink.

"Why I don't have a mirror? Previous tenant broke it and my asshole landlord still won't fix it" he says, taking off his shirt. Your eyes linger on the lines of his back a little too long, bordering the line between looking and staring.

So you turn around and you try to braid your hair without a mirror, but to no avail, every strand seems to be three different sizes.

You groan in frustration as Eddie approaches you.

"Lemme help, witchy" he says, standing behind you and tending an arm out for a hair tie.

He divides the hair into three strands. Your hair is so soft between his fingers.

He wishes he could stall so that he could caress it for longer, but an impatient yawn escapes your mouth as his hands deftly get to work. Over, under, over, under-

"Where did you learn to braid hair?" you ask, feeling the way he softly holds each strand, making sure he's not pulling at your scalp. You don't see him, but a smile forms around his tongue, peeking out of his lips in concentration. Over, under.

"I had girlfriends before you, witchy. They taught me to braid my own hair" he chuckles, as you try to tune out the word girlfriends. Under, over, under.

He can see a pout form on your lips, he smiles.

"Why'd you need to braid your hair?" you huff, thinking of going on a spiraling rampage and hexing every one of his exes. Over.

"Well" he begins "one time, an ex braided my hair and it came out super curly, so I wanted to try it myself. Turns out it needs to stay in the braid for a while for that to happen" he shrugs.

Under, over, tie.

"All done," he announces, placing a kiss on the crown of your head.

"Thanks, Ed" you examine the braid, flinging it over your shoulder "looks really nice" you say, and give him a small kiss at the corner of his mouth.

He gets himself into bed. His bed is oddly comfortable and his sheets smell of laundry detergent.

"I might have been washing my sheets every other day in case you wanted to sleep over" he confesses, blushing, as he lifts his arm, opening the warmth of his chest to you.

"You" you give him a kiss "are literally" another kiss "the sweetest guy" another kiss "in the history of always" last kiss.

He gets flustered when you call him sweet, because under the hardening exterior of black chains and shirts with exploding heads and hooded skeletal figures, there's just a sweet guy who loves you and wants you to like him for being himself.

"Just want you to, you know, have a good experience with me" he says, caressing your head.

"You get an 11/10 Yelp rating, can't recommend to anyone, though. You seem to be preoccupied with a really cool girl, and it seems it's going to go on forever" you giggle, as he smiles and gives you a kiss.

"Go to sleep, cool girl. Goodnight, love you" he says, before turning off his lights.

"Goodnight, Ed" you say, turning over so he can spoon you.

"You have to say it back" he whispers in the quiet of the dark room.

"Right, sorry. I love you too, Ed" you correct yourself and close your eyes, falling into one of the best sleeps you've ever had in your life.

The morning after, Eddie wakes up to his landlord bringing in a new mirror, his hair extra curled and all his exes blocked on his social media. But he doesn't have to know about that last one.

[extra-vertebrae]

I'm going to sperg about the Coda / Zeke for a second:

Noooooo DE fixed the no-tint-in-mission bug for the Coda! I am destroyed and my day is ruined, because all of my randomised Coda tints are not amazing (beige, purple, grey, and scab brown for My Favourite Meat Golem is a horrible combo). I was genuinely hoping that it was intentional, but I figured it couldn't be considering the already present rendering issues going on with Zeke at least. Oh, well. I did spend... an inordinate amount of time in Captura gathering base colour correct references of 3/5 in the event that it was a bug slated to be fixed. Time well spent, I am smitten by these designs.

I am endlessly entertained by how this aberration of meat and cable moves. /mwah, unnatural. It's not how I envisioned Zeke would move based on the art and the WIP animations we got to see, but the mission tiles only permit so much in terms of varied movement if something this unconventional is going to exist in any space outside of something bespoke. To also be fair, I have been completely spoiled by both John Carpenter's The Thing and Still Wakes The Deep in terms of top-tier horrific tendril movement, and that sort of violent, wormy action is just something I've stapled to this character internally as a headcanon.

Look at him. Face of an angel, as envisioned through the form of a toasted walnut. Beautiful. It's an immense shame that DE removed his hair. Maybe it just didn't fit after the design revisions or it reacted to the randomised tint system poorly, who knows. But his floof has the hair.

Regardless, Zeke is great. His sheer size is an immense well of hilarity for me, because when setting him as a crew member it's just /BAM: TORSO.

He cannot fit through non-Railjack doors and just teleports instead. I'm pretty sure he's, what, 10, 12 feet tall? His stats don't live up to his size, though, his armour stat is bottom-tier, which I'm convinced has to be an error of some kind considering the beating the rest of the Coda can take on average - especially Packet, the little shit. Zeke is the only one of the five who can be cut down really fast in personal experience. The fact that he is the only Coda that can take noticeable damage from Hallowed Ground during the concert fight is mind boggling to me - absolute travesty. At least he can look menacing while he's still alive and kicking on the field.

I just like 'em. The whole lot of them. I'm being flagrantly pandered to and I will not complain. I am, however, disappointed that the Coda floofs are not real merch that I can buy with my real money and have exist in my real apartment. So help me, I may attempt to make them myself with my own real hands.

The Technocyte Zeke floof has not dropped for me yet and I feel personally targeted as a result, because human Zeke was my first floof reward on my first Coda. The game knows and is baiting me with that abysmal drop chance.

[infiniteglitterfall]

Tu Bishvat is almost on Valentine's Day this year! I'm calling it for the Jewish aros. This is our new aromantic holiday.

(But only this year. Because it's usually in January.)

Instead of celebrating romantic love, we are celebrating uhhh... the start of spring, and the birthday of the trees.

Also, fruit. It's a very fruity day for us to be aro.

Tu Bishvat is the trees' birthday because Jews needed a way to keep track of how old their trees were. Which was because Jewish law says that you have to wait three years before harvesting a tree's fruit.

If you want a fun example of how different Judaism and Christianity actually are: You don't go to hell if you harvest the fruit too soon. You just end up with crappy fruit.

Because it takes fruit trees about three years to develop enough to bear good fruit.

It's literally only Jewish law so that you know how to grow fruit.

Going to hell like that isn't a Jewish concept. Christianity invented both the concept of "if you sin you will burn in hell forever," and the concept that "only accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior will save you from burning in hell."

Nothing really brings home the fact that we're not only celebrating seasonal agricultural holidays on a lunar cycle, but specifically celebrating the 4,000-year-old agricultural festivals from ancient Israel, like realizing your holiday exists just so that you'll know whether you can harvest your fruit trees...

In around six months...

When the fruit that is starting to come into blossom now actually ripens.

Also, obviously, so that you can celebrate the beginning of spring... in Israel. 

Not wherever you actually are. Unless you happen to be in the same sort of climate. Or in Israel.

As my copy of "The Essential Book of Jewish Festival Cooking" says:

"Like all the major Jewish festivals, Tu b'Shvat, which means 'the fifteenth day of the Hebrew month of Shvat,' has its roots in the rhythms of nature....

"Arriving just a few weeks after the winter solstice and exactly six months after Tu b'Av, summer's Festival of Love, the fifteenth of Shvat marks the moment in which we can actually feel the night grow shorter and the hours of daylight increase, gently warming the earth. The dormant trees awaken from their winter hibernation, and the roots begin to absorb moisture and nutrients from the soil."

There's also a newfangled tradition of having a Tu Bisvhat seder, where you eat the seven staple species of ancient Israel: barley, wheat, grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives, and dates.

It started in the 16th century, when Safed became a center of kabbalistic learning. (So new!)

Apparently you can save your etrog from Sukkot -- the one that, if you have access to it at all, you probably had to get shipped from Israel, because we celebrate four dIFFERENT species for THAT holiday but they're STILL Israeli ones -- Anyway, it's apparently cool to save that expensive lil fucker, stick cloves all over it to preserve it (like an orange), and put it in a bowl with oranges, walnuts, and almonds, to symbolize the physical world and the strong outer defense you need in it. 

In a slightly higher bowl, you put dates, olives, and apples, which are edible down to their seeds: the world of Formation, where new life is started. 

And in the highest bowl, you put figs, carobs, and raisins, which can be consumed completely, representing the world of Creation and "those who are entirely 'one' with themselves and with others."

"To this day, around Tu b'Shvat, the change is felt even in my Tel Aviv garden; new leaves begin to unfold on the fig trees, and the earth seems to come alive again. Just as they have for millennia, the almond trees burst into glorious white bloom.

"The still-untamed hillsides are covered with wild leaves and roots that once helped sustain our ancestors through the winter months, and dotted throughout are the red anemones that reminded them of the beauty of the earth in this season.

"Living in the hills of Safed, in the Galilee, and responding to that wintry splendor, the famed sixteenth-century mystic known as the Ari ('the Lion'), Isaac Luria, originated the custom of  special Seder for Tu b'Shvat revolving around the eating of thirty different native fruits, which he believed contained the 'divine sparks' that had been scattered all over the universe when it was first created.

"The Seder also included a unique ritual blending red and white wines, reflecting nature's colors as winter becomes spring and the white almond blossoms slowly yield to lush carpets of red poppies, just about the time of the wheat harvest of Shavuout, in May.

"With the passing centuries, the Tu b'Shvat Seder spread rapidly through many communities, especially among Jews living in Arab countries, though in the course of time it fell into obscurity [among Ashkenazim, who were living where the weather sucked]."

I don't know what THIRTY (!!!) fruits the mystics were eating. I want a full list, damnit.

Carob was a popular addition for Jews in the Ashkenazi diaspora, because carob traveled well from Israel. Some of them only had dried fruits and a little bit of carob to celebrate with.

Carob is actually really good, if you don't claim it's a chocolate replacement.

Carob is really terrible if you tell children it's chocolate instead.

I went to a party with my parents once, when I was little, where they brought out what they SAID was a chocolate cake. It was carob.

I have never forgotten how bad it tasted, or how angry I was about it. And there was nothing better I could eat to get the taste out of my mouth!

It's possible I cried a little bit, even.

It was REALLY AWFUL CAKE. It tasted like dirt.

Sefaria doesn't list the fruits either, but it says there were ten for each bowl. It offers a nice short seder that begins:

A tree is constantly growing and so must we. A tree produces fruit and so must we. On Tu B'Shevat we must renew personal growth, just as the trees on Tu B'Shevat begin to draw moisture from the earth.

The Velveteen Rabbi, which is a GREAT blog, says:

Some Jews regard Tu BiShvat as a kind of hinge-point within the year, between the season of darkness (Chanukah) and the season of light (Passover). Some conceptualize the round of the Jewish year as a single long day, in which case Tu BiShvat comes around 3 a.m., an hour which is neither precisely night nor precisely morning....

In an alternate interpretation, suggested by a modern scholar of comparative religion, this weekend is not Tu BiShvat but rather Tuba Shabbat, when Jews worldwide bring our large brass instruments to shul to have them blessed before we use them to accompany the melodies of the morning service. I don't know about you, but I think a brass quintet in shul would be a lot of fun...

(Fun fact: The Shulchan Aruch, a major rabbinic text about Jewish law, was written in Safed at around the same time. "Shulchan Aruch" means  "Set Table."

It was written by Rabbi Yoseph Caro, who basically went through the entire Talmud and Mishna and gave a simple, clear list of still-relevant laws from them. Minus the debate, the historical and anecdotal commentary, the stuff that couldn't be followed after the destruction of the Temple, and the extensive explanations of how frigging HOT Rav Yochanan was.

As it turned out, Rabbi Moses Isserles of Poland was attempting the same thing. When he saw Caro's work, he dropped his own and just added commentary to what Caro had written.

Chabad tells us, "Keying off the name Shulchan Aruch, Rabbi Moshe called his commentary Mapah, which means 'tablecloth.' In the words of his introduction: 'I have come after [Rabbi Caro] to spread a cloth over the set table, upon which he has collected all the delightful fruits and delicacies that a person may love.'"

VERY Tu Bishvat.

Another fun fact: I read something last year about how Passover probably started as another seasonal festival, later in spring when the first crops ripened.

Apparently, what you would get if you'd run through your stored grain by then, harvested those very early grains, and tried to make a kind of Desperation Bread out of them, is a lot like matzah.

But it was worthy of celebration, because it meant you'd made it all the way to spring, and new good food was going to be available soon.)

[daytaker]

Can I request a fic where MC is sort of a pathological liar? and they lie about stuff that ultimately doesn't matter, but they can't help it? Also, if it could be Mammon x mc centric that would be amazing, but it doesn't have to be. I love your writing!! bye bye

POV: You are cldhart08. You forgot you sent this to me. Two full months later, you get a notification that daytaker replied to your ask.

Pants on Fire

Ships: (Lowkey) Mammon/Reader, Beel & Reader Word Count: ~1.1k CW: lying (general), lying about medical conditions, bullying Mammon

So you're a bit of a liar.

"I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. I wasn't breathing or anything, and my dad actually fainted.

...Or a lot of a liar.

"Did you know my second cousin actually dated Selena Gomez for awhile?"

One might even go so far as to call your lying 'pathological'.

"I actually have a severe tree nut allergy, so I'll pass on that. Thanks though."

There was never any logic to it. The lies just came out. You never felt guilty about it, because no one got hurt. So there wasn't really anything to worry about, right?

Wrong.

You sit on the floor outside of Mammon's room, hugging your knees, when a big, hulking form slumps down the wall onto the floor beside you.

"Oh... Hey, Beel," you say. You're not even trying to pretend as if nothing's wrong.

"Hello." He looks at Mammon's door, then at you. "Did you knock?"

You sigh, then demonstrate to Beel what happens when you knock on Mammon's door. A muffled voice comes from inside.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," you reply.

"I already told you! If you're a scummy, lyin' human, you can go eat nuts for all I care! I'm never talkin' to you again so you might as well stop wastin' both our times!"

"He's talking to you now," Beel points out, and it's hard to argue with his logic.

"Who the hell was that? Beel? Fine, then I'll only talk to you to tell you to fluff off, how's that?"

You rub your eyes tiredly and Beel leans in a little, speaking lower so Mammon can't hear him. "If you just leave, he'll come looking for you in about ten or twenty minutes."

"If I leave, he's going to think I'm not sorry." Hugging your knees, you shake your head. "I am sorry."

"Is this about the thing at the student council meeting and the nuts?"

You shudder at the memory.

----

You hadn't even thought about it at the time.

You never particularly liked nuts. Almonds, cashews, walnuts, chestnuts... not even peanuts outside their butter form. So when Mammon asked you why you declined to try a rather nut-heavy dish prepared by Barbatos himself, you simply told him you were allergic. "If I even get a whiff of them, my body goes into anaphylactic shock."

"What the hell's that?"

"Basically, my immune system goes haywire, and if I don't get the right kind of shot in the first few minutes, I'm a goner."

At the time, Mammon had seemed impressed by how close you skated to death, risking your life by casually allowing tree nuts to continue existing around you. And you? You'd enjoyed the brief attention.

At the time.

-----

That was weeks ago, so it was far from your mind as you accepted some human world trail mix from Beel while you sat, bored out of your wits, through another student council meeting. You picked out most of the nuts, of course, but in the end, you swallowed the imperfectly sorted handful.

And Mammon lost it.

"THERE WERE NUTS IN THAT!"

Diavolo, who had been in the middle of speaking, stuttered to a halt as everyone looked over to Mammon, who was simultaneously cradling you and screaming obscenities at an utterly bewildered Beelzebub. In the moment, you'd sort of frozen up and said nothing. Mammon...

Mammon was crying.

He was crying and yelling ridiculous instructions to everyone in the room and getting extremely angry when the others didn't seem to see what the issue was.

"They're gonna go into analgesic shock and die if we don't do somethin' fast! Do none of you bird brains get that?!"

He begged you to tell him how to get that shot you needed, that... what was it, an Apple Pen?

...It was several minutes before you were able to get the truth out.

Force the truth out, more like. Telling that truth made you almost wish you really had gone into anaphylactic shock. That seemed like an easier way to go than looking Mammon in the eye, in front of all his brothers and Diavolo, and explain that you didn't actually have that allergy. That you'd lied.

And of course, of course, the onus fell on Mammon for believing it.

Satan and Asmo sighed at how someone so stupid could function. Levi posted on Devilgram about how you'd epically trolled Mammon. Lucifer scolded Mammon for his overreaction, and Belphie just glowered at Mammon for waking him up with all his shrieking.

And you, you sort of...said nothing.

-----

"Ah," Beel says, nodding. "You feel bad that you made him look stupid."

"No," you groaned, frustrated at your inability to articulate exactly what it was that felt so off. "It's... He really thought I was going to die. I scared him. And then everyone treated him like a gullible idiot. So...I guess I made him look stupid, but..."

Beel stares at you. His expression is blank, but in a soft sort of way. It's oddly comforting.

"He got made into a laughing stock because I told him a lie, and he reacted to it....the way someone would react if they thought someone they really cared about was in danger. I feel guilty for lying and worrying him, and I feel worse that I just let everyone tear into him like always, when all he did was try to take care of me."

The door you're leaning against swings open behind you and you fall flat on your back in Mammon's doorway. The demon stares down at you with a mixture of righteous contempt and a flustered embarrassment that was so painfully typical of Mammon.

"Yeah! And you should feel guilty! You're a real asshole, ya know that?"

You blink up at him and offer a weak smile. "...Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

Mammon folds his arms. "You really think you can just come snivelin' up to me and beg for forgiveness, and I'll just hand it to ya?"

Beel looks between you and Mammon, watching the conversation unfold with the same mild interest he'd show while staring at a somewhat unimpressive exhibit at the zoo.

"...Well, today just so happens to be your lucky day," Mammon continues. "The Great Mammon, the big guy himself, has decided to forgive your tiny mortal soul for bein' a total jackass and liar. You're welcome. Don't expect it to happen again."

Still lying on your back, you grin at Mammon. "Thanks, Great Mammon."

The demon clears his throat and looks away. "Anyway. Our turn to make dinner tonight, so..." With that, he walked right past you and darted down the stairs.

Typical Mammon.

[warningsine]

-Okay, so "Sweet Vitriol," episode 8. This is a very different episode for Severance. It's the Harmony Cobel show, essentially. We get to follow her as she returns to her old home in Salt's Neck. Patricia, what was your first reaction when you read this particular script?

-I liked it. I mean, we had been talking for quite a while, quite a long while, about her origin story, and the school that she'd grown up in, and how Lumon had impacted her and her relationship with her mom. So to see it more fleshed out and see the space and the coldness. And we went up to Newfoundland It was very... It's such a special, unique place. It's so difficult to get to and so difficult to live there that it's very locked in its own time. It had this difficult terrain to survive and then you can really see how Harmony is an extension of that.

-Yeah, how it hardens people. How did you find that Newfoundland would be the perfect salt neck?

-We knew that we needed to have a vibe of the northeast-ish look that Kier has because we shoot in upstate New York, and we wanted to feel like it was a drivable location from Kier. Then Ryan Smith, our location manager, went out. But really, Jessica Lee Gagné, our cinematographer and director of episode 7, had worked in Newfoundland 10 years ago on an island called Fogo Island, which is off the Coast of Newfoundland. There's actually an incredible hotel there, which we didn't stay at, this modern-looking hotel. Thanks, Ben. I appreciate it.

-It was crazy. I mean, first of all, it's a beautiful place. We shot in a town called Bonavista. And yeah, you land in Gander, and then you have to drive about three hours to get there. And the thing about the terrain in Newfoundland is it's rugged and beautiful, but the scale of it is not like somewhere like Iceland or Greenland or something like that, where it's gigantic mountains. It's a a little bit smaller, but it's still as beautiful in its own way.

-It has a vastness to it.

-Not a lot of things are filmed there, and it's tough. The people who live there have to deal with long, cold winters.

-They have a certain way that they sound. Like, with the ice frozen this whole time from the late 1700s, early 1800s, this broke from Ireland, they'll eat things like a bowl of fried codfish tongues.

-I had that for breakfast every morning. Sounds delicious.

-And was the town essentially in the episode, is it as you found it? Or like the coffee shop, for instance, was that an existing structure?

-It's an existing structure. It's actually a coffee shop that we redid and painted. And we shot in, I think, two different little villages and Bonavista, too, for different locations. And we were all living in Airbnbs. I loved it. It was awesome.

-That was amazing. We were there for about, I don't know, five weeks. And Jessica put together a crew from Montreal of people she had worked with. So it was a much smaller unit. And we found these great places to shoot. And James Le Gros, who plays Hampton came up. Great. Had you known James from before?

-So I mean, growing up in LA, I was a big fan like everybody of "Drugstore Cowboy," and he was amazing in that movie. And then I was dating this guy at the time, John Philbin was his name. He was an actor. And I had to move. I was living in my mom's garage at the time, and I was moving out. And so he had a friend come over to help me move all these boxes. So I made him and his friend for helping me like some cookies, right? And I put in the cookies these walnuts. So I gave them some cookies when they were done. And his friend was James, who was helping move all these boxes. And I was like, "Oh, thank you so much. And here's cookies and things." And he was like, "These are the best cookies I've ever had in my life." And then I was like, "Oh, thank you very much."

-Very different from Mrs. Selvig, I have to say.

-Exactly. We're back to the cookies. But I tasted the cookies when he left, and I was like, these are salty because I didn't realize the walnuts were salted. Now, fast forward 30 years, everyone's adding salts, like caramel, salts, like chocolates. So he meant it when he said they were good.

But I was like, these are the worst salty cookies ever unmade. So Mark was lying when he said they were good in the show. But James Le Gros--

-But in 30 years, Mark will be wrong.

-James LeGros was telling the truth.

-I think they sound delicious.

-They were delicious. When we talked and we were working, he's like, "Oh, I remember those cookies. Wow, that's great. Those were the greatest cookies."

--

The Severance Podcast with Ben Stiller & Adam Scott, 2.08, Patricia Arquette

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I can't take it anymore on how much I adore your series of FATUM NOS IUNGEBIT with reader and König ♡♡♡ writer I don't know how i can express my love for your writing that I won't hesitate to bow upon youu

How you write König in that series makes me SJFJDJFHWJFJWBHX as in IDFHEBFJAJBDJD like he is a walking huge dog. Him bringing gifts to reader with fine silk, jewerlies, and honeys from the village he destroyed l. I could imagine him wagging his non existence tail thinking his prize would love him for bringing those gifts for her and kicked lile a puppy when reader denies him (つд⊂) my heart can't take it.

Yet at the same time reader is adjusting to her new life of being the brute's possesion. I can't imagine how scared and confuse was she when König bu.rnt down her village, took her in, and spoiling her like a Goddess. Imagining Konig sees reader like a stray kitten when he took her in from her home. Loves her no matter what even though she hisses at him.

König be like: *gives love and gifts and wants to fuck her*

Reader: *confuse noises*

And OH GOD her eyes must have been wide and shocked when she sees his dick for the first time. I can also imagining her measuring it to her lower abdomen when konig is away to see if it fits EHDBGBJWJCOS

Oh my god first of all I’m so happy to hear that you like this silly story so much! 🩷

And yes König is exhausting his little walnut brain thinking about what must he do to make her happy and to get a slice of that sweet pie ❤️ Meanwhile, Fee is just completely traumatized and scared (and therefore mean), but after seeing that this dude is not going to pound her brains out if she’s not into it too, DAMN, it makes her so so curious!

And who’s around to blame or scold her for wanting to torture this beast who stole her? He’s the reason she lost everything she had. Why not have some fun by trying to discover how far she can push this guy’s limits before he breaks? (Lol she’s not playing with fire, she’s playing with a natural disaster + doesn't even realize that she’s falling in love with this big dork too)

And YES she has totally tried to measure some shit. For sure stared off into space after that. König comes back into the tent and wonders if there’s some dangerous animal in there with her for a moment because the look on his fairy’s face is so dumbstruck and slightly horrified. Like... does she need protection? He will kill who or whatever has made her look so scared and helpless! :(

[fuck-customers]

TLDR: this is a cry for help. my sanity is non-existent.

my boss is telling me my coworker is complaining that i'm fucking BRAGGING about having weekends off? like no i'm not, you absolute fucking walnut. you asked me THREE TIMES what my schedule was, and i told you. it's two off two on FOR THE ONE WEEK. i had no idea what the schedule was for the week after, but that's what it was. and then he bothers me about when the manager is going to be in, and i'm going to tell him i'm not her fucking keeper, man. she told me this, stop prying, that's all the info i got.

(he's also walking around saying "oh the boss talked me into weekends" when she didn't. he JUST GOT BACK from a week in florida not a week and a half ago. he WANTED thursdays and fridays off, he asked for them, that's what he GOT. he went and bitched and lied, and he got the weekends. how pissed is he gonna be when he realizes he's gotta work all week sometimes because of the rotating weekend? who knows! we will find out <3)

and then he cries wolf about me getting six cases of bread out telling me people are walking away with it (which- one goes to one area, the other five stay where they are) and the manager told him that. that's? how many cases we use? why are you fucking crying about that? also if they're walking away with bread, you're not doing your fucking job?

he says "THERE'S 13 SLICES IN A BOX. I CHALLENGE YOU. I CHALLENGE YOU RIGHT NOW. GO THROUGH ALL THOSE BOXES OF BREAD AND COUNT THEM."

i look him dead in the eye and go "i'm not going through all those boxes of bread. not all of them have thirteen slices per bag, and we use five cases. if they need more, we pull it from stock." and i pissed him off. i've never felt more vindicated in my life.

if it's not him, it's the almost 60 year old coworker who brags about keeping a clown restaurant alive for 30 years every chance she gets, and gets pissed at me for sitting down for TWO MINUTES because my ankles hurt. i don't do things her way, she gets an attitude with me, she YELLS at me. and then she has the audacity to say "it's nothing against you!" like that's going to make it any fucking better. and for someone with 30 years of experience, she sure doesn't act professional to any degree.

also the two pawning things off for me to do (which is me doing EVERYTHING, by the way!) and blaming me for the mistakes. my manager and i noticed that yesterday. <3

Posted by admin Rodney.

[qiutls]

TNGDH 015

"Maybe he didn't want the two of you to be upset?"

People who were gathered around looked at us as if we had said something so absurd.

It was expected, of course. Who doesn't know the reason Belial came to the North? It wasn't enough to just send aristocrats and find trouble with the estate, the imperial family came forward and wanted to find fault by themselves.

Kyle's biological mother, as written in < The Heart of Winter >, was a commoner who ended her life as a maid, not being able to be recognized by the imperial family, nor even buried with a grave. For Belial, who's a prince and a member of the imperial family, Kyle's existence itself is an insult to his so-called noble bloodline.

I understand it's hard to accept the situation. His biological father suddenly got someone other than his mother pregnant and made him accept that child as his brother. If we were bound my original world's laws, you'd be stoned to death. But still, that isn't Kyle's fault.

*Okay, so this is how I found out Belial and Kyle are half-brothers, and not uncle and nephew... correcting the other chapter where it says Kyle was the son of previous emperor*

Belial turned his head to look at Sen.

"Because it will make me upset?"

Sen picked up the bag of walnuts from the floor and said calmly.

"Yes, Your Highness."

Belial looked at me this time. He stared at me with questioning eyes, 'Is that really the case?'

I don't know. I don't know what Sen meant; we didn't talk about this before. But I smiled at him, hopefully making him believe Sen more.

Fortunately, Sen continued.

"There will be a flower-giving event at the banquet, which marks the final day of the Northern festival."

"And?"

"People who attend the event are supposed to give flowers to someone they love and respect. The people of Blake will naturally offer their flowers to their master, Lord Kyle."

'There was something like that?'

The system quickly answered my question.

[ A crooked smile lay on Belial's face. His eyes scanned the large yet empty straw basket next to him. The basket next to Kyle was filled up to the brim with white flowers. Not a single symbol of respect was given to him. It was as expected. This is why he needed to get rid of Kyle and get rid of the North as a whole. ]

'... This was more dangerous than I thought.'

There's no reason to hate Kyle that much, there's also no reason to hate people who just want to make a good living. You can't really judge people based on their faces. You may look good, but your personality is dirty.

"This is basically a tradition in the North. I'm worried that Your Highness will be hurt."

"Hmm."

Belial didn't seem interested in me anymore, he passed by me and went directly to Sen.

Although the plot of the story must've been changed, it is true that their fates are intertwined, and they're bound to form a relationship. Belial's gaze at Sen looked unusual.

However, it was a misleading gaze. It wasn't an 'I fell in love at first sight' look... It was a gaze that felt so hot it could burn.

'A look of possessiveness?'

That's right, it felt like a desire to win, rather than love.

"What's that you're carrying?"

Belial looked at the hamster supplies and snacks.

There was cotton candy-colored cushions, plastic balls, sawdust, and swings. Why does it look like they're trying to make a theme park for hamsters?

"Ah yes, you're the maid who's been to the grand duke's study a lot."

"His Highness is raising a magical beast and I am merely helping him with miscellaneous things."

Okay, you two talk. I'm going to leave.

Anyway, now that there's a reason, don't go if you can help it. It's a one-of-a-kind life, don't you think you should try and protect it and live for a hundred years?

I was creeping back and about to disappear from the gathering when Belial called out to me.

"Hey, you."

"......"

Please don't pay attention. Don't worry about me. The time for "Summon" is almost over. I need to go now, so you two have fun.

Belial grabbed the back of my hand as I tried to pretend, I didn't hear his call. I turned my head to look at him and forced a smile. That's right let's just laugh. This damn social status, you'd be dead by now if you weren't the prince. Seriously...

"Did you really mean that?"

Why are you still asking?

It was difficult to refute the statement, so I struggled and ended up agreeing.

"Yes, well... I'm not good at explaining stuff so I was thinking how to tell you, but Sen took the words right out of my mouth so..."

Belial cast a glance at me as if he were seeing something strange. He treated the magical beast indifferently, but he seems quite interested in people... No, maybe, he's just curious at interesting stuff.

"You can give me flowers then; I won't be upset."

What are you talking about? How can I go to the banquet? I don't even have an invitation!

Even if I tried to go as a servant, the competition to be hired during the banquet was huge. In other words, I'll end up frying or picking up food, and have no place to intervene.

I looked at him in embarrassment, and Belial took out a piece of paper and handed it to me with an indifferent expression.

"Come."

It was an invitation to the banquet; it even had his name written on the back. Probably because he's classified as VIP, Kyle even wrote the invitation himself.

'Ah...'

My head throbbed when I saw the invitation and I almost swatted it away.

If we're being honest, it was a good opportunity. If Belial attends the banquet and decides to do anything suspicious, the best way to stop it is to stick by his side and prevent anything from happening myself.

However, the moment I received this piece of paper, it felt like my future would be more tiresome than it is now.

"... Yes."

I took it. What else can I do? Rip it in half?

As the duration of "Summon" is ending, I slowly excused myself and went back. I bowed my head and sighed constantly on my way back to hide my clothes.

'I shouldn't run into Kyle at the banquet.'

But there's no way to avoid meeting him. Ah! Why did I say that when we met!

Life is really not easy.

*

The next afternoon, as soon as I dressed up, I met Sen.

"I've been looking for you! Where the hell have you been? I've asked the guards and they've never seen you leave nor enter the gates, and you're not sleeping at the servant's quarters, and no matter how many guest rooms I've searched, I couldn't find you."

"Ah, that-"

I've been sleeping at Kyle's bedroom. Since I'm not disappearing randomly these days, Kyle has been comfortable enough to let me out of the hamster house.

It turns out I didn't have good sleeping habits, whenever I came to my senses, I was sleeping on Kyle's face. He'd grab me from the back of my neck, put me back down and wrap me tightly in a handkerchief, and go back to sleep.

At first, I didn't like being swaddled at all, but because of the cold winter nights, I found that it was more comfortable than I thought. As the morning dawned, I found myself back at the hamster house again.

In the afternoon, after pretending to play with the toys he gave that was bought by Sen, he said that he was going out and put me back in the house.

"Well... that's what happened."

I couldn't think of any excuse, so I decided to be vague and remain silent. It's better to give an impression that's a little bit suspicious than to be caught lying.

Sen stared at me for a moment before dismissing the conversation as if it wasn't important.

"I've been looking for you since morning."

She handed me a big box that was heavier than it looked.

"What's this?"

"It's a suit for the banquet. His Highness, Belial, sent it. He didn't even know your name, yet he gave you this."

"Oh..."

What an amazing guy, he didn't even know my name, but he thought about preparing clothes for me. Indeed, it was weird to receive a flower from a stranger, so he probably gave the invitation and prepared clothes so it would seem less strange.

"I got one too!"

Sen smiled and lifted another box.

"He asked me to come with him. It's the first time I'm wearing a dress. Actually, there was one time I wanted to wear something like this but..."

I pretended not to see Sen's slightly sad face.

"Anyways, thanks to you Shu, I get to wear pretty clothes like this. By the way, why did you tell the prince not to go to the banquet? Was it really about the flowers?"

"Ah... about that, it's not about the flowers, I just don't have a good feeling."

I felt ashamed and cut the conversation short.

"Anyways, you go attend the banquet! It's good to attend as a guest and not as a servant."

"You're right! I will surely repay this kindness."

"If that's the case, then pay it back with food!"

Northern food is really delicious.

"You're such a glutton! Where does everything you eat even go?"

"... I know right?"

It's actually going straight into my hamster belly.

Thanks to that, Kyle has been touching my belly fat more than kissing me. Even though I try to kick his hand every time he does it, he thinks I like it and that I'm trying to play so he continues to do it. I think he'll even mistake my swearing for a serenade.

I talked a little more about the banquet with Sen and then we went our separate ways.

Eating the bread Sen gave me as we parted I thought, 'Northern food is really a delight.'

The thinly sliced meat, vegetables that overcame the tough winds of the cliff, and bread fresh out of the oven were as delicious as famous fast-food franchises in my world.

I kept my daily clothes and the suit in the box hidden once again, patted my stomach and the white light enveloped me once again. As soon as I turned into a hamster, I felt heavy.

'Kyle is going to nag me again.'

Maybe I can hide when he comes back if I slip through this hole.

".... Cashew Nut."

―…….

Fuck.

I murmured curses as I felt my body crammed in the cylindrical hole. Is it right to swell up like this?! Just because I ate two sandwiches, I can no longer fit here? I ate just two!

[ 乁(・o・)ㄏ ]

Yeah, I'm larger, but not that much... Maybe I grew around 15 centimeters.

I held my breath and tucked in my stomach to slide down the hole as Kyle gave me a worried look. Hey, who cares about gaining a few pounds! It's not like I have a terminal disease.

"You're not eating the food I've been giving you; I don't know how you're gaining so much weight."

It's because you're not bringing something delicious Your Highness. He kept touching my stomach the whole time, seemingly worried. Okay, let's not play today.

Kyle brought me to his bedroom to sleep again tonight, and as soon as I woke up in the hamster house in the morning, he forced the macadamia in my mouth.

Go, do your duties!

I'm going to a big banquet this evening. If I want to eat all the delicious food there, then I need to make space in my stomach.

Of course, Kyle who had no idea what I was thinking, stared at me grimly, before placing me back at the hamster house.

t/n sorry for the late update & for not being able to markdown the text! ill edit it later when i get home ^^

[havenesc]

what does Selina think about Sofia taking Jay under her wing? hell, what does BRUCE think??

OHHHHH THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION and like anything else I love yapping my head off about asks like this (the rancher au is a perfect example lmao) but I think it's going to make a lot more sense if I answer with a couple caveats in mind:

The majority of the Sofia and Jason teamup brainworms exist with the idea that Jason is immortal. I.E. he can be killed but he cannot permanently die. It's a whole (handwaves) Thing that I won't get into here.

My knowledge of Selina consists of the TK run back when Rebirth was new up to the wedding, Reevesverse, Gotham War, and a few other one-off stories. Take everything I say with a pinch or handful of salt as needed.

At this point in the timeline, Sofia has connected the dots to a few identities. She knows Selina is Catwoman and Batcat has been on-again-off-again for (checks watch) by this point, fifteen-sixteen years. Selina has absolutely bitched about Bruce. Sofia is not stupid. She's not about to lay her trump card out on the table, but she knows.

All of these aforementioned brainworms are also a product of Birdie (@birdiedoesdc) and I aggressively slinging ideas back and forth like it's The Wimbledon Championships!!!!

Sofia and Selina, in my little walnut mind, are incredibly close. I don't know what Reeves is planning for Part 2, but I think Sofia and Selina value loyalty and family so much in their own jaded, Carmine-warped ways, and they're all each other has remaining of family. They are sisters. They get wine drunk on Sofia's couch and complain about life. They help each other out on jobs. Sofia was there when Selina mourned Jason's death.

So, when Jason makes his public return in UtrH -- personally, I'm currently writing a "Sofia is backing Jason for the entirety of UtrH" fic, but the world's our oyster timeline wise -- I think, reunion with Jason and all that fun that entails aside, Selina would be wary of the consequences of Jason leaning into the crime lord angle, but would feel somewhat better knowing at least Sofia's teaching him the ropes. Sofia is still not a classical "good person" and she can and will do terrible things as a woman with hobbies should, but the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

Sofia has years of experience. Jason is young and brash and furious and passively suicidal with his immortality, and he's going to get severely fucked over if he doesn't learn to rein it in. If he's going to do this anyways, and there is no talking sense into him, at least Sofia is the one trying to take his neck off the chopping block before Bruce or GCPD gets ahold of him. Selina doesn't have to love the actual nature of what is happening -- she wishes everyone could reconcile, but you don't date Batman for decades without becoming used to the idea of never getting closure -- but at least it's remaining in the "family," and Jason appears more receptive to Sofia's teachings when it's clear that she meets him where he is as a person.

And!! Sofia talks to Selina about Jason. Selina understands Sofia's reasonings, her thoughts, her feelings, because Selina is the only person in the world that Sofia will be emotionally honest with. All the things she won't say to Jason can be said to Selina. Selina watches in real-time as Sofia goes from "aggrieved and having no choice but to take this chronically 19yo in" to "I am actually concerned for his wellbeing and what if this one death is the last of it and it runs out and nobody knows." Selina knows how deep the well of Sofia's care goes, and how much Sofia considers Jason as part of her family, even if she cannot/will not recognize it within herself.

Bruce is not privy to any of that.

Bruce and Sofia hate each other's guts.

Sofia has loose immunity by way of Selina and also by Bruce correctly sussing out that she knows exactly who he is. Sofia doesn't like Bruce even back when she was fresh out of her second stint in Arkham; she was vaguely aware of his family in a very neutral-at-best sense, but she did not like him and only wanted to be around him if there was opportunity to humiliate him. There is absolutely never enough goddamn alcohol in the house come time when batcat inevitably "goes on break" again. The most succinct way I've managed to put it is "Sofia can bitch about Bruce but Bruce cannot bitch about Sofia."

So, when Bruce finds out that Jason and Sofia are in cahoots, he's furious. He thinks Sofia is there specifically to weaponize Jason against him, and to lead Jason down a path to ruin. Sofia thinks he fucking sucks and that he should have wonder woman'd up and killed Joker -- and maybe if he had, nobody would be in this mess in the first place. (Sofia knows a lot about what it means to be failed by your father.)

There probably is a whole arc there I've yet to think about where he's trying to take down Sofia, which in turn leads to Jason getting involved, and Selina getting involved, and it would be so MESSY. In the end, though, Jason and Bruce have irreconcilable moral differences that predate Sofia, and Jason isn't doing anything he wouldn't already be doing by himself.

He hates it. He hates admitting that Sofia is probably teaching Jason necessary skills at least in the way of navigating conversations, about reeling back his explosive nature in times where deescalation is more beneficial than going scorched earth, and that worse, it's working. Where he could not get through to Jason on controlling emotions, Sofia can. (The real irony here is that they are both extremely emotionally repressed people and Jason never knows how much either of them care for him in the way he needs.)

He still believes Sofia is using Jason (she is) and that Jason doesn't know what he's doing (he does; they've talked about their business arrangement in depth), but barring a really bad fumble by Jason or Sofia, he fades more into the background as time goes on.

And I know Dick was not part of this ask but. But. I need everyone to know that he and Sofia hate each other worse than Bruce and Sofia hate each other. Their only common ground is caring for Jason. They have never once liked each other from day one but they are the nastiest case of a bad divorce with split custody you've ever seen, barring perhaps whatever the hell Talia and Dick have got going on.

SORRY FOR THE ESSAY THANK YOU FOR THE ASK <3

[xrlyz]

Hello! Hello! No pressure to respond to this at all but….

I recently (like a month ago and I was going to interact with you but I’m scared of people and I don’t have an ao3 acc 😔) started following your “I Saw Stars” fic and

OHMYSTARS ITS SO GOOOOD

I just finished chapter 20 because I’m procrastinating my studying for my last exam and oeojehqlshvsmsjdgshhsjs my mind is all over the freaking placeeeeeee.

I don’t want to distract you too much and you don’t have to respond but if you want can you describe what you think Jack’s clothing looks like (mainly his armor, but his normal wear also intrigues me) 👀

I love drawing and your fic is giving me so much motivation, but I like to have the original imaginers ideas if they have a specific look or feel in mind

Also if you do want to respond and rant more do you have any specific ideas on how his weapons look? :D

I probably won’t post this stuff on my acc if I do draw it because people I know irl know it and that scares me, but I will find a way to show you!!! >:}

Hijack has hijacked my brain and it is amazing thank you for your fic I love it so muchhhhh

I hope you have an amazing day/night/morning/whatever it is where you are!!!!

If you’re still swamped with exams good luck!!! You’ve got this!!! And if you aren’t I hope you can relax you’ve earned it! 💫💖✨

(Also sorry if you have gone into more detail about the clothing at any point. I have the memory and brain the size of a walnut that’s being fried by chemistry and atomic theory atm…….)

I'm finally getting back to you on this. Hi 👋😅

Okay, so, first of all. THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG. When I first saw this, I squealed and got actually angry that I didn't have the time to respond right away. I'm so glad you're liking my fic so far! I'm SO hyped to see what you're planning!! I'm literally vibrating rn from excitement. ❤️❤️❤️

Anyway, on to the recently growing issue that is Jack's clothes. Istg his outfit is on the FBI's most wanted at this point, and let me tell you why. The reason I avoided describing what Jack was wearing like it was the second coming of the bubonic pluage was because, funnily enough, even I didn't know what Jack was wearing.

Fics with the same or similar trope of Jack being a Dragon Rider have existed before, TROAS is a perfect example of that, so creating an outfit for Jack that didn't feel unoriginal was hard. Thankfully, I took a few hours out of my day today to finally tackle this issue.

Edit: Deciding to put a cut here so people don't have to scroll so far just to get to the rest of my page.

Instead of describing it to you, I figured it'd be easier if I just drew something of my own and then showed you, so that you and any other fan who'd like to do fanart of I Saw Stars can have a reference photo at the least. Obviously, you can alter and change things about my designs. They're far from perfect, and I'd love to see what you can come up with! These are just the things I thought of.

Jack's normal wear:

I figured it'd be cool and also really cute if Jack kept his original hoodie and just slapped some light leather armor on top of it. (Only because Valka forces him to, of course.) As for the staff, *starts sweating* uhm... honestly, I just imagined it being made out of wood. I know nothing about different types of wood or their durabilities, so I'll definitely research that and find an actual material for his staff. For now though, I bestow upon you creative liberty on that fornt. 😅

Jack's dragon riding armor:

This is sadly just a concept sketch and not a full body like the last one. The reason for this is that I genuinely don't know what else to add other than the hood that I gave him. It's hard to make something that's not only white, made of scales, and has been redesigned by like five different authors by now, but that also has to be physically possible.

Note about Jack's character design in both photos that you might find helpful: Jack's primary shape used in Canon is a hexagon (like an actual snowflake). I decided to keep that in his normal attire, but for his armor, I switched his primary shape to a heart, so he matched Artemis. You don't have to do this, but I thought you might like the distinction a bit.

Anyway, thank you so much again! I can't wait to see what you cook up with the motivation my fic has given you!!! Also, I hope your finals go well. Those are always super stressful all the time 😭

Have a great night/day! And to anyone else who sees this, yes, you can draw fanart of my fic and use these as references, but please notify me if you post fanart and give credit to the fic if it's specifically inspired by mine. Not because of, "Oh no! Someone didn't credit me!" But because I adore and appreciate any and all fanart or affection, me and my fic get because it means you guys are enjoying my stuff! I love to see it, and I love to give love back, so tell me if you make stuff! I WANT TO PRAISE YOU 👹👹👹

[karlachismylife]

hi! I must say, i really love your queen of the clan series! I been reading a lot of COD related stuff and I just found it by chance, i have two questions, are you perhaps planning to write something similar in the future? Like the poly and hibrid stuff, and if none had asked, what was ghost's reaction the next morning after remembering that reader caught him and called him a pervert?

~🐰❄️

Okay tonight is oficially hyena procrastinating time (poor poor abandoned other four oneshots...)!

HIIII THANK YOU PRECIOUS I am so, so honoured that among all the BEAUTIFUL works on this site (god knows I have like 40+ tabs open with stuff yet to read and even more already read with nothing but excitement, fuck people are so talented on this site) you liked mine!! Grateful for the savannah breeze that brought it to you hehe <3

Oh you're hitting what I've been thinking around for the last few days huh... the answer is yes, absolutely. First of all, there is already a spinoff/au of an au brewing in my mind for the hyena au where reader (another, not the Queen) gets to be with Valeria for I am WEAK for that woman. I am also thinking more classic jaguar!Valeria as a separate thing. But if you're loyal to 141 boys, fear not, polyamory is like the sole reason for my existence so I will have more poly fics. In fact, I already have one more idea (no shapeshifter stuff there tho) + I'm sure as hell I will get more. Also, I have accepted my furry fate so yeah, why the hell not have more shapeshifter/hybrid aus? The only real "problem" with them would be that I don't really want to be repetitive, especially since I'm seeing (and absolutely enjoying them all lol) several dog shapeshifter!au's here and some other "classic" animal choices, but there's like a whole animal kingdom to choose from. Also monster!au's are hella fun and can be somewhat in the same au family. If you have some less common animal/monster ideas for anyone in COD, really, and would like to see me do them - send them in!

Now that I'm done yapping about what isn't done yet, the second question. Well, as you've seen in the part 3,5 Ghost had definitely quite a distraction in the morning, and I believe they did have duties to attend after Price was done with him (and the other two muppets who exhausted their poor Lieutenant through the night), but I think he got over the embarassement quickly and was actually trotting around like an unapologetically smug bastard. Earning so much huffing and whining from Soap, oh my god, Johnny cannot believe Simon would just go behind his back and score such a jackpot of their (future) Queen's scent on his hide! Ghost is just too damn self-confident to actually be flustered about being called a pervert. Like yeah, he is, what are you gonna do about it? You're his queen, he's allowed (and expected) to be freaky around you. And he didn't even steal a single peek at you actually watering local plants, that's some self-restraint, mind you.

He's a total menace, but only because there isn't a strong female hand to tame him yet :)

P.S. Honestly I started thinking about what other animal shapeshifters/hybrids I could write about but somehow ended up thinking about plant spirits, like driads and shit. Price as a good ol' broad oak spirit, Soap as Scots pine cuz duh, Ghost as an yew tree with the way life and death are intertwined in his destiny a little too tightly, and Gaz as a walnut tree (among many other things symbolizes intelligence, also walnut people can kinda be nasty and we all know how hard Kyle's words can burn).

Sedate me pls or something idk

[le-agent-egg]

Can you show me food from Canada? 👀 And since your country is huge, maybe it can be specifically foods from Alberta? I don't know, you choose

HELL YEAH MAN!!!!

SO. pretty much inarguably the most famous dish to come out of canada is poutine, which consists of fried loaded with brown gravy (beef or chicken gravy) and cheese curds (it HAS to be cheese curds)

poutine is originally from central quebec, and while there’s a lot of arguments on who exactly invented it, it’s a huge staple of québécois culture!

another thing is bannock, which is a type of fried bread typically just made with flour, water, and some sort of fat.

bannock is a staple food to many of the indigenous peoples in canada, like the inuit, métis, and honestly just the first nations people of both canada and the states in general. technically it was introduced by european settlers, which does get a little iffy when you think about it considering yk. the fact they kinda messed with the food/diets of the indigenous peoples. but it’s still incredibly important to indigenous cultures and communities. (this is just a small blurb of its history, it and by extension the history of indigenous peoples and european settlers is really interesting so i encourage you to look it up if you want)

i feel like when people think of canada they mostly just think of the west and central canada? but that kinda ignores the fact that. the maritimes exist. lol.

in nova scotia one of the biggest industries is lobster fishing, which fun fact you can’t actually do recreationally. while lobster rolls aren’t explicitly a canadian invention, being more of a “lobster fishermen started making them on the east coast around the 1890s, then it got popular in places like connecticut, then it got popular in canada” situation, they’re still incredibly popular and arguably one of the most famous foods in nova scotia since. there’s a lot of lobster.

it’s actually a little difficult to come up with stone cold “this is a recipe originating from this specific place” foods, but one thing from the prairies that did originate in the prairies is saskatoon berry pie, which like the name suggests, has a filling of saskatoon berries (the best description you’ll get if you haven’t had one is think of a blueberry with a slight almond flavour)

saskatoon berries are native to the prairies and prairie-adjacent provinces like the northwest territories, the yukon, and british columbia (which makes sense when you consider these fuckers can be a-ok when it’s like -50° C outside)

oh and fun fact, the actual city of saskatoon’s name can actually be traced to the cree word for the saskatoon berry, “misaskwatomina” (like an orange the fruit/orange the colour situation)

for alberta, i can think of less of a specific dish and more of a type of food in general. alberta is really known for the beef that’s. grown? raised? idk. and the reason it’s so high quality is because half the freaking province is just. grasslands. which means that cattle have a lot of open space and food to graze on!

(not even kidding, if you drive to the rocky mountains a decent 60% of the outside of the drive is just. this)

(last thing from the prairies i promise) so british columbia has these things called nanaimo bars, which is a three layer dessert (first being a base of wafers, coconut crumb and nuts, second being a custard icing, and third being chocolate ganache) that originates in, shockingly, the city of nanaimo.

nanaimo bars started to get really popular after the second world war, with its name first being used in 1953. they were actually named as canada’s favourite confection a while back!

i feel like it would be a crime if i didn’t include literally our national dessert, idk maybe i just have a really bad sweet tooth because half these damn foods are dessert 😭

canada’s national dessert is a butter tart, which is quite literally a tart with butter, sugar, syrup and eggs (and if you’re feeling fancy something like raisins or walnuts)

kinda like lobster rolls, the exact origin of butter tarts is a little shaky, because while the first publishing of the recipe was in ontario, it’s actually more likely that it originates from french women who were sent to quebec back in the 17th century, and made a version of the french sugar pie with what they had on hand. (again, the history is actually kinda cool for this)

i’d get publicly stoned to death if i didn’t mention maple syrup, you know, one of the most canadian things next to hockey and tim hortons. but i’m gonna also put maple taffy with it, since they have the exact same base ingredient.

now as much as my albertan ass LOVES to clown on quebec, i have to admit maple taffy is actually pretty fuckin good. it’s made by heating up maple syrup and then pouring it on snow, and then “rolled up” with something like a popsicle stick.

it originates in quebec, but is also part of the culture of places like east ontario and new brunswick. (if you speak french or are from a french-speaking part of canada it’s also called “tire d'érable” or “tire sur la neige”)

there’s a lot more regarding the culture but this post is already way too long so i might make another one later KHDISHISHJV

and lastly i know that this is more about traditional foods but i NEED to include these:

for the longest time i had absolutely no idea that ketchup chips were a canadian thing, but apparently they are! not much to say here, they were made in the 70s and you can only get them in canada. (i hate ketchup and even i have to admit these go hard)

hopefully this was a decent list!! canada like i’ve mentioned has a lot of immigrants, so while we do have some more “traditional” canadian recipes, a lot of food here is also about not only sharing cuisine from where you’re from, but making it/developing it with the ingredients that are available here. if you wanna know more i’m happy to talk more about this stuff! i’m hungry now KHDPHVSOGAHDHJ