#it isn't game of thrones

[hedgehogoftime]

Norse Mythology in pop culture: Machiavellian manipulator Odin buts heads with chaos entity Loki as they manipulate and murder those around them ina bid to destroy and dominate the nine realms with ASoIaF level political plots and a foreboding prophecy of doom hangs over their heads.

-

Actual Norse Mythology:

Freya: *asleep in her bed when the phone rings. She picks up the reciever without saying a word.*

Odin: FREYA! YOU HAVE TO HELP US! LOKI AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY FUNNY TO DISGUISE OURSELVES AS DWARVEN PROSTITUTES AND INFILTRATE THIS GIANT KING'S PALACE BUT NOW LOKI IS PREGNANT I'M ENGAGED TO SEVEN DIFFERENT GIANTS, THERE'S THIS HORSE! CALL THOR SO HE CAN HIT THE PROBLEM REALLY HARD AND-

Freya: *hangs up the receiver, unplugs the phone, and goes back to sleep.*

[daenysthedreamer101]

Mother's Fury

Mothers of ASOIAF feeling rage because their children were murdered/mutilated.

Grief/ Protection/Embrace

[theexhaustedmermaid]

Oh so now you tell everyone that those dire wolves are just modified grey wolves

Now, in a subsequent interview, Colossal’s chief scientist Beth Shapiro appears to agree. “It’s not possible to bring something back that is identical to a species that used to be alive. Our animals are grey wolves with 20 edits that are cloned,” she tells New Scientist. “And we’ve said that from the very beginning.

Ok so explain all this

I fear we have truly lost the science communication battle on this one folks

[pigeon-princess]

When Oswick "Redtusk" Crakehall first kidnapped Tobiah Martell and Gwyndon Pyke, I don't think he realised what he'd be getting into. I'm finally compiling a bunch of my sketches from earlier in our ASOIAF TTRPG campaign!

🐗Oswick belongs to our GM @oneirotect ☀️Toby belongs to Nico Mclaughlan

[ladystoneshart]

I've already done the accidentally gay character poll so now let's shed some light on the actual queer characters of asoiaf!

[kingnlionhearts]

NEW ROBB CONTENT IN 2024 I WON

who let him look so pretty while he's dying

[rax-writes]

↬ when night falls

Tywin Lannister x Reader

intended to be a sequel to the morning after, but it's not necessary that you read it prior to this

Warnings: Smut, MDNI, 18+ ONLY ⇆ P in V sex, unprotected sex, creampie, age gap, nipple play, bit of breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, pregnant!reader

The journey from Winterfell to King's Landing took considerably longer than necessary, given the Queen's insistence that she travel in that godsforsaken carriage of hers. As such, five weeks after your marriage to Tywin Lannister, you were spending one final night in a lavish red and gold tent alongside your lord husband.

For the entirety of the journey, the two of you spent the entire day apart – your horse trotting behind your father and King Robert, and Tywin a short distance behind, alongside Ser Jamie. Occasionally, Arya would pester you into allowing her to sit in front of you on the saddle, as you quietly conversed with her and taught her how to control the horse. But, aside from that, you were alone with your thoughts all day, every day.

The nights, however, were spent in the arms of your lord husband.

The two of you quite quickly developed a very… peculiar dynamic. You had quickly learned and adapted to the way the fearsome Tywin Lannister operates – preferring you speak concisely and directly, vehemently uninterested in anything otherwise. Additionally, there was a degree of mutual respect, as well as a vaguely guarded openness to one another – but certainly no love, or any semblance of romantic feelings at all. In truth, you assumed there never would be.

But gods was there lust.

On your end, it was your first and only experience with sex, and it was undeniably good, so you were eager for it. On his end… you couldn't be sure. It could be that the man was pent up from years as a bachelor, but it would be safe to assume he had simply sent for a whore when the mood struck him. A more likely reason would be his pursuit of an heir, but surely he wouldn't have needed to fill your cunt nightly to achieve that goal. No, you were almost certain that he was simply enjoying fucking you – just as much as you were enjoying fucking him.

When Tywin entered the tent, you were sitting on the edge of the cot, toying with the goblet in your hands, already undressed to your shift. He met your eyes as he entered, but said nothing, that unreadable (but somehow always leaning toward annoyed) expression on his face. He silently began taking off his boots, then removed his sword and placed it beside the cot. He was in the middle of pouring wine into his goblet when you found the courage to ask your question.

"Will you stop bedding me when I become pregnant?"

Tywin said nothing, setting the pitcher down and turning to face you as he took a sip of his wine. He wore that calm, calculating expression as he stared at you – but you could swear there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. The golden goblet made a faint clank as he set it down before speaking.

"Do you ask because you wish for me to stop? Or because you wish for me to continue?"

"I wish for you to continue."

"Then I shall continue," Tywin stated, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Good," you replied, then added, "Because I am."

"You are what?"

"Pregnant."

The smile dropped and Tywin's eyebrows raised, making his forehead crinkle.

"Already?" he inquired dryly, surprised. Then, incredulous, he asked, "How do you know?"

It was a fair question. You had never been pregnant before, so perhaps you were mistaking soreness and fatigue from travel as signs of pregnancy. But no. You knew.

"I should have bled three weeks ago, but I have not. My breasts are extremely tender, and certain smells make my stomach turn."

Tywin nodded, then stated, "I do not doubt that you are right, but we will have a Maester provide his confirmation and look you over when we arrive in King's Landing. In the meantime, is there anything you need?"

A faint but wicked smile spread across your face, and you stood from the bed, setting the goblet down as you slowly made your way over to him. The metal of his armor was cold beneath your fingers as you idly ran your hands over his chest, before toying with the belt around his hips, looking up at him through your lashes.

"You," was your simple answer. But both of you knew that it wasn't meant in a romantic, sweet sort of way.

Tywin's hand reached up to cradle your face, somewhat harshly, hooking his thumb under your jaw to tilt your head up and kiss you. It was lustful and full of desire, accompanied by the scratch of his beard upon the delicate skin of your face.

When he pulled away, Tywin smiled quite faintly, then hummed lowly and said, "Well, what sort of man would I be to deny his pregnant lady wife her wish?"

The old lion made quick work of removing his armor and smallclothes, and relieving you of the thin linen shift you wore, before guiding you to the luxurious cot. Tywin continued to kiss you, eventually trailing kisses down your neck, until he reached your chest, unexpectedly taking one of your breasts into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it.

The sensation nearly made you shout, opting to take in a sharp breath instead as your back arched off the blankets. Eyes squeezed shut, you heard a low chuckle, and looked down to see a set of very amused, crystalline eyes staring up at you.

"Hm, I see you were not exaggerating about the sensitivity."

Electing to ignore him, you let your head fall back onto the pillow. However, it seemed he did not intend to grant you any reprieve, moving to the other breast and doing the same thing – prompting you to dig your nails into his shoulders and bite your lip to avoid crying out. Unfortunately, that made matters worse, as Tywin let out a low groan with his lips still wrapped around your nipple, earning a loud, pitiful whine from you.

Seemingly enjoying himself, Tywin began peppering your chest with gentle bites, which he soothed with his tongue afterwards, sure to become small little bruises by morning. Breathy moans and sighs of pleasure filled the tent, as he then resumed his ministrations on the hardened peaks of your breasts before snaking one hand down to toy with your clit, expertly rubbing it in small, steady circles. Astoundingly fast, your release washed over you, soaking his hand as you moaned and writhed beneath the Warden of the West – who only chuckled darkly at your quick climax.

Noticing that the continued kisses and licks upon your breasts began to make you twitch, Tywin captured your lips in a brief, rough kiss, before rolling onto his back. He then pulled you into his lap, with a strength one wouldn’t assume the older man to still possess – which was, admittedly, arousing. Your mind was still foggy from the orgasm, and your movements were not unlike a rag doll, eyes half-lidded and jaw slack, moving somewhat limply as you allowed him to maneuver you. He gripped his hard, leaking cock in one hand, then reached behind you to urge you forward with a flat palm on the small of your back.

A hiss through gritted teeth escaped Tywin, and you gasped lightly, head thrown back and hands flat on his chest. Although you’d already lost count of how many times he’d taken you, it still felt more incredible than anything you’d ever experienced. A passing thought reminded you of the fact that he seemed to share the sentiment, always hissing or groaning when he first sheathed himself inside you.

Tywin’s grip moved to your hips, prompting you to begin rocking them against his own, keeping your pace steady. However, he made no move to halt you when you eventually began to move faster, leaning back to rest your hands on his thighs as you fucked yourself on his long, thick cock. The sound of it alone would have made a Septa drop dead – a symphony composed of wet skin upon skin and gruff grunts intermingling with breathy moans.

He reached up to grasp and knead your breasts in his rough, calloused hands – but he then surprised you, his hands drifting lower, until they rested flat against your lower stomach. You thought perhaps he was focusing on the movement of your hips, but then his thumbs began to stroke across the soft skin of your belly.

At first, it seemed very sweet and sentimental. You thought that perhaps he was basking in the joy of another child being on the way – until you felt the way his cock throbbed, deep inside of you, as he stared intently at your belly. Immediately, you came to the realization that it must be arousing for a man to have successfully fucked a babe into his wife – stroking their ego and their pride to have done their husbandly duty, as well as show everyone that you belong to them.

Truth be told, you were surprised to learn that it aroused you just as much.

Tywin groaned as you clenched around him, and when his eyes flicked up to meet yours, it felt as though he knew you had been thinking the very same thing he was.

That seemed to ignite something within your husband, and in the blink of an eye, Tywin flipped you onto your back and began driving into your soaked cunt with a newfound ferocity. You bit down on your knuckle to keep quiet, but Tywin pinned both of your wrists down, his arms on either side of your head. The act did not last much longer beyond that point, both parties having already been too near the precipice of climax, and the pair of you met your releases in unison.

Tywin rolled off of you, breathing heavily, a light layer of sweat covering his chest, along with the small patches of silver hair. You allowed yourself a few moments of recovery, before moving to leave the cot in order to extinguish the candles, as well as tidy yourself up. However, Tywin grabbed your arm to stop you.

“Where are you going?”

“The candles –”

“Can wait,” Tywin interrupted, voice sounding unbothered as always, albeit with a hint of fatigue. He exhaled slowly, as he gently pulled you back down to lay upon the cot beside him. “One of the guards outside can see to the candles in a moment. You are carrying my heir, so you are to rest. As much as is feasible, from now until the babe is born. And if anyone questions it, they are to discuss it with me.”

Anyone possessing the sense the gods gave a mule knows “discussing” something with Tywin Lannister was just the opposite – it was not to be addressed at all, because what Tywin Lannister says, goes. A fact which made you smile softly.

“As my lord husband commands,” you replied, a hint of sarcasm in your tone, but you did exactly as he bade you, pulling some of the blankets over you and nestling into the pillows. You were already yawning by the time Tywin called for a guard, who extinguished the candles, and bathed the room in darkness as you drifted into a deep, contented sleep.

[msphagime]

Modern AU but Theon got kicked out of the Starks' house at 18 (because Catelyn just couldn't deal with him anymore and he was probably spreading his bad influence all over the children), got kicked out of the Greyjoy residence (because Balon disowned Euron a month before that so might as well get the other headache away from here), and is now living in a village in the middle of the Northern nowhere with two prostitutes (Kyra and Ros, who took him in because he's the only one that can cook with more than two ingredients (eggs and pan)) in a property given to them by Littlefinger in exchange for tax-free stweardship. And they go out into the city every day on a bus numbered 47 that passes by the village only at 6am and 6pm only on workdays for Theon to try and find work and stop freeloading and maybe go to university one day but the only place that is willing to hire him is the Butchers' round the corner (Theon would've gotten over the bad work conditions and the mould on the walls if it weren't for the fact that the Butcher keeps looking at him with his weird ass pale blue eyes like he wants to snap his spine and eat his pith every time he passes)

[daemon-in-my-head]

One thing about Gortash that keeps bugging me is his desire to share power.

Because obviously, that's a great deal right? That's something special right? A tyrannical fascist geniunely wanting to share power with an old companion? Of all people? An old companion who fell from grace, yet Gort's still devoted to them? Isn't this, moral depravity aside, a great testament to their kinship and all that?

I mean that's certainly one way to read it right? But there's something else about that proposition, somethings leaving a bit of a sour aftertaste here, namely the near impossible level of power imbalance going on.

Gortash knows Durge intimately well. He flaunts that fact immediately and does not care about the repercussions his old companion may face due to the dirty laundry being aired publicly (if he's not looking forward to them outright, that may be their own version of flirting though tbf). Anyway, he knows their name, skills, past, and presumed motivations; they were incredibly close before the incident, and yet he hardly talks about that, brushes it off by saying "I missed you—anyway heres the issues I'm facing rn". He teases that he knows them enough to draw intrigue, but he never follows up, holding that knowledge and the answers Durge wants above their head. He uses their oath as an excuse, that they promised each other not to get involved into each other's messes, that he couldn't do shit, and then immediately asks them to get involved in his mess and sort it out for him cuz all of a sudden the oath not to get involved apparently doesn't apply anymore.

Like, yes, it seems like a "good deal" and something positive at first glance, and yes, he's not lying through his teeth but he's still withholding a shit ton of information on purpose and twisting the narrative to suit him more than anyone else. Instead of truly welcoming back someone who's been missing for months and helping them out a bit, that mf dispatches them to do his dirty work for him and promises shared reign alongside something as mundane as the chance to gain knowledge about themselves as a reward, yk the thing Durge really would like rn. AND considering Durge's notes and depending on what choices you make, sharing power would be more so Durge being merciful than smth Gortash can actually decide or propose (the balls he has for still trying though—sees a murderous demigod that can't remember they liked him once and decides to be a cocky bitch anyway).

Eitherway, he wants to share power. He might even mean it, but he's not willing to actually divulge information concerning anything 'Durge' and instead dangles the fact that he knows them above their head. He wants to share power, but only if Durge is blindly loyal to him and does not question his approach. After all sending the amnesiac gore baby to find their sister in a city and temple they can't remember whatsoever all by themselves isn't particularly efficient or smart but a damn suicide mission. And then he doesn't even provide any aid. He's willing to share power only if he gets to keep his control over the situation and Durge, and one way to confirm that is by sending the Bhaalspawn after their own family with no help nor information (either they come back and he'll be sure they still do as demanded or they'll die down there and thats that, Gortash probably). And only then is he actually willing to share power. Handily also without revealing any further information whatsoever, he's just using platitudes and buttering up to the bloody Bhaalspawn, never actually sharing any information regarding their shared past or what Durge was up to.

In conclusion, Gortash wants to share power the same way a king let's a dagger dangle from his belt while he sits on his throne. He doesn't actually want an equal right now. If he did he would not be doing everything to tip the scales in his favour and blatantly change the topic and refuse to disclose more information than necessary, information regarding the person he "missed so dearly". What he says sounds nice but what he's actually doing is trying to control Durge. This ain't rly about a shared reign or the likes, this is more so getting Durge to blindly tag along while concealing their past for reasons one can only speculate (did they fight, did someone betray the other, why is Gortash so unwilling to share any solid information?).

This escalated but you get my gist.

[jeyne-stark]

andromache's lament

[pixiecactus]

The line about George's wife always and specifically included only Arya. Maise mistakenly included Sansa and people have been passing it off as fact ever since. It's just a joke from George, but it's amazing how Arya can never have anything in this fandom lol

ohhh so it came from miss williams herself...

i have nothing against maisie, but the only things i know about her are that we were born the same month and year only a few days apart, she has an awesome sense of style, and that her opinion about arya is as good as any stansa's (you know ☠️​☠️​☠️​)

also better late than sorry, i did remember what bothered me about stansas trying to take away arya's important things in the books. a few months ago, i did see a sansa's fanart with the quote "a wolf with a fish in its mouth" (or how it canonically goes) and i was appalled because that quote is about arya and catelyn, most importantly about how arya deems her mother as important as her father, no matter the complicated relationship between them.

and it's not like sansa doesn't have some good quotes too. what happened with the good old... porcelain, ivory, and steel one (look i don't remember exactly what it was or if that's the correct order, but it was something sansa thought of, i'm pretty sure) and the maid with serpents in her hair one, those go hard too and they are actually about sansa.

[katshuya]

Rhaegar's wife, who had delicate health, gave him two children. One caused her to be bedridden for half a year and another that he impregnated her with during her recovery or, immediately after and almost killed her, deserved that crown.

Yes she deserved it more than Lyanna Stark who braverly defended her father's bannerman yet impulsively and naively when there was a well known mad king watching and entered as a mystery knight that grabbed everyone's curiosity for being unknown.

Elia Martell, who endured Rhaegar, his prophecy, racist people, and their opinion about how unworthy she was for him AND his racist, mad cruel father desrved respect as well as that crown.

Yet she was gifted with humiliation one after another after all that she sacrificed.

This will trigger many. But that crown was Elia's right after all the hell this strong woman had been through. Not Lyanna's. Yet, in the narrative, it is all about Lyanna and the winter rose.

Rhaegar only endangered Lyanna, and even if Aerys and Lyanna's family and betrothed weren't there, it was still Elia's right.

Honoring Lyanna could have been done more respectfully and wiser, yet it was extremely dumb and cruel.

Yet the audacity to put Elia in such a humiliating situation

She deserves more respect and attention from GRRM, which I doubt he will grant her any true respect.

Elia was killed for the sake of the narrative. So the promised one can happen. She was used and then killed in an unnecessary way for it.

What even happened to Elia's body along with her children's? Definitely weren't sent to Dorne. While we know Rhaegar's was burnt and Lyanna's in winterfell.

If George wanted us to like the Rhaegar x lyanna thing, then he failed miserably. For sane people, of course.

This will always be where he failed the writing.

We hear of Lyanna's suffering in the books, and how she was killed to bring important child for the future of the realm and its safety yet we barely hear of Elia's, who gave and suffered much, much more.

I like the Starks, but this is where George crossed the line with his favoursim.

She is barely there in the narrative, yet her story and the things she had been through and everything associated with her upbringing make her more interesting character than Rhaegar or Lyanna to me and many people.

I believe George unintentionally made her more interesting to many of us when he wanted us to care for Rhaegar and Lyanna.

Edit: I'm talking about the crown, not the winter rose itself. Since some Rx L shippers entered the asks and were acting so unruly like usual.

[bagheerita]

[vpba]

Hiya, haven't been there in a long time but I read The gods' approval by the forever talented @ladycatofwinterfell and felt like drawing. Hope you're all doing well, keep shipping Ned and Cat yall. <<3

I dont know how to draw guys lol, ned is ugly asf but I don't care, i'm all about my wifey

And since tumblr shat on the quality of this post here's a close up appreciation extract of mother.

[lithiumliterature]

i often find myself wondering about the rates of skin cancer among dragon riders and the dragon lords of old valyria… like the valyrians are described as pale, fair-haired people who are already considered a higher risk for skin cancer. plus the direct contact with sunlight at high altitudes while flying on dragon back sounds like a recipe for aging skin and suspicious moles.

[norringtondeservestheworld]

"Brienne should have slept with Tormund, not Jaime! He would have treated her like a queen!!!"

Brienne everytime Tormund is near: