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aquasoftware · 2 days ago
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Prince Nanami—(Screwed royally.) ♛
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FT | Kento Nanami ༝ fem!Reader. | Drabble (0.6K)
Cw | MDNI 18+ Prince albert piercing, overstím, slight sīze k!nk, vírgín! Reader, soft dóm! Kentoノsub! Reader, praísè, possessiveness if you squint, & reader is wearing an anklet.
Desc | Boring? A square? That’s what your bestfriend made you believe ➜ until Kento’s silver secret had you folded in half, begging for mercy. ❤︎ | ML.
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Seeing your boyfriend like this already felt like some sort of forbidden taboo–abs consistently dripping with sweat, face flushed a delicate pink, possibly one ballerinas wore on their slippers, along with his head thrown back like it was the only thing keeping him sane.
He completely tainted the image you had of him before–assuming he was a full on square.
A boring office job, no real hobbies outside of work, and a sense of humor that’d make your brain cells shrivel up within an instant.
Not that there was anything necessarily bad about squares, they typically brought peace anyway, but you were so wrong, especially learning Kento was nothing like what you originally thought.
I mean, what square would have a prince albert piercing punching every single sensitive spot not even you could find on your own?
Every thrust sent it dragging just right against your velvet walls—like it knew your body better than you ever could.
“K–kento, ohhh my goddd…”
You cried out with urgency, your arched back ascending off of the king-sized mattress as your forearm is glued shut against your face.
“Pleaseee, slow down, fuckfuckfuck.”
And how was he supposed to adhere to those sweet pleas when your cunt wrapped around him so snug?
His length was pistoning into you, so fast it was like he desperately wanted to win something, maybe an Olympic race along with a shiny medal.
“Thought you needed it faster, hm?” He frowned, repeating your request from earlier to speed up.
“Please, please, please I can’t…” You harshly bit your lip–it nearly bled in hopes it'd console you from the overwhelming amount of bliss he was providing you.
“It’s okay m'love I got you, I'll go as slow as you need.” He cooed, his baritone voice laced in pure silk.
His smile brimmed rich of mischievousness, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he pressed a wet kiss to your jeweled ankle–briefly admiring his initial in dark gold.
You clutched the damp white sheets as hard as you could, praying this was enough to prepare you for this strenuous girth, soon to bully your poor pussy.
Kento quickly brushed aside the moist blond hair on his forehead, as if that'd distract him from properly angling himself inside you.
Gripping the plush of your calves resting over his broad shoulders, his strokes became a cruel snail-pace, his piercing dragged maddeningly against that a-spot again—making you jolt like you just got electrified.
You weren’t even sure what lottery lever you pulled to land on this, for your first time, but you weren't complaining.
In fact, your mewls grew guttural until they formed a silent ‘o’ shape, each deliberate roll of his hips forcing your swollen clit to kiss the cream collecting at the sandy blond hairs prickling the base—until your body seized.
You gushed around him uncontrollably, the orgasm rippling from your core like a snapped powerline–near violent the way your thighs quivered against his chest.
Your calves twitched in his grasp as you clawed blindly at the muscles on his stomach, red welts blooming beneath your nails—his groan slithering out low and primal.
Tears rushed down your flaming cheeks, puffy eyes squeezing shut from the crashing aftershocks of release.
“Don't even have, hah… The decency to warn me,” Kento scolded, shaking his head as if he were disappointed.
His thrusts faltered as your tight walls milked him in rhythmic pulses.
“It’s okay, princess,” he panted, burying himself to the hilt with a shaky breath. “I’ll make sure I fuck the words back into you this time.”
And when his teasing silver metal ball knocked against that spot again, your legs feebly kicked—another broken cry rising in your chest from being ruined by yet another orgasm, body too dazed to tell if it was your second or your seventh.
Either way, your borderline-animalistic pussy spasmed in anticipation, already aching for whatever came next—ready to cling to his arms the next morning when your wobbly legs refused to work.
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Divider/Boarders produced by enchanthings & dollywons
Song written by Koi'lani/@aquasoftware.
‹3 Masterlist!! | more nanami smut?
REBLOGS, COMMENTS, AND LIKES ARE HEAVILY APPRECIATED!! THANK YOU ‹3
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elliesbebegurl · 2 months ago
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thinking about co-star!abby and you two having to do a sex scene…
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you hated her. she was a cocky motherfucker behind closed doors, yet she was so good at making people believe she was this sweet, charismatic, and amazing person that makes you oh, so very lucky to work with and have on set.
but no matter how much you hated her, it was undeniable that she gave a good fuck. it was supposed to be a one-time thing, just to blow off steam and relieve the tension between you two (and a moment of weakness if you were being quite honest)—but being stuck with her for months on set and being sexually frustrated doesn’t exactly make a good combination. she was hot. you weren’t going to deny that.
that’s how you got yourself here.
this was around the 9th retake because you kept zoning off, and abby grew tired of it. the director gave you a minute or two to fully get into character, before the camera start rolling once again.
“take ten! three, two, one, action!” the director snapped the clapboard, and you and abby get right into action. well, abby was the only one acting, really.
the sheets were wrapped around and covering the both of you, your torsos pressed close together, skin to skin, as abby places tender kisses up your neck, making her way to meet your lips in a passionate kiss. she rocks the both of you on the bed, making the movement exaggerated for the cameras as you suck in a gasp.
her fingers were buried deep inside your pussy, making you barely even able to catch up and keep up the act of kissing abby with fervor. abby fought the urge within her to smirk at the effect she had on you, and she decides to curl her fingers harsher—elliciting a loud moan from you, throwing your head back and making more room for abby’s lips to place more kisses on your sensitive skin.
“cut!”
the director announces, followed by her applause and praise. “beautiful! beautiful work, you two! y/n, you nailed that scene perfectly!”
abby sits up, fingers leaving you empty and desperate as she smiles at the director. “thank you! you okay, y/n?” she asks, and there was a clear cockiness and pretentious concern that only you could seemingly read, and you narrow your eyes, sending her a fake smile. your blushed and almost disheveled state was definitely a sight for her.
“yep. peachy.”
you are sooo getting her back for this shit she pulled.
———————
a/n: LOOK I know I said I’d be working on the vampire ellie drabble BUT THIS CAME UP AND I HAAAAAD TO WRITE IT
baaaack to the ellie drabble! 🙏
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warlockslovetomeow · 3 months ago
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pairing: caleb x female reader description: caleb’s obsession with your underwear doesn’t seem to stop at just sniffing…. warnings: explicit sexual content, slight pwp, mdni, mention of male masturbation, needy!caleb, clothed sex, unprotected sex, cumming on underwear, caleb’s a freak, this is messyyyyy wc: 2.4k (was supposed to be a short drabble.. don’t EVER put me in a room alone with this man dude im salivating everywhere) a/n: lazily proofread [shame]. continuation of my ask here. (read vic's blog she is goated!!!)
caleb swears it's not an obsession. he really means it, it's not.
it just so happens that every time he goes over to your place your underwear ends up in his possession. but it's not his fault! you have a bad habit of leaving your drawers open when you're getting ready in the morning. so caleb, being the amazing guy that he is, shuts them for you when he comes over to your place.
at least, that's how it started.
it eventually progressed into him snooping and taking a pair. then him snooping and taking a used pair. then him pocketing the ones off of your body after you've both had a time. okay, pocketing them off you every time. but he’s got it under control! he promises himself that it won't be happening again.
it’s just that he hasn’t been able to see you in a while due to both of your schedules being packed with work, so of course he’s going to sift through his growing collection to get as close to you as possible in every nonphysical way he can. the thought of u infects his mind, a dirty little parasite crawling around and making a mess throughout each private sector of his brain. the want for you to be close to him, to touch your body, to hear you, it intensifies as the minutes without you ticked by. 
so, when he hears his phone go off in the middle of rubbing one out to the thought of you while using the panties he stole most recently, he stops dead in his tracks and gives his deepest appreciations to all divine things that must be looking out for him in this world. 
it's not often that you get the opportunity to stay with caleb at his apartment in skyhaven for an extended period of time. said extended time being only three days makes no difference to him, to be frank the mere thought of you being in his presence at all already has his mind working and blood rushing in ways he can’t avoid. wouldn’t dream of avoiding. after reading the text you sent him stating that you got the upcoming weekend off and are planning to visit him, his brain truly fused out.  
caleb knows what self-control is.
he went through intense military training for heaven’s sake. plus he grew up with you and managed to not act on his intense and deep-rooted feelings that consistently threatened to devour him whole. so yeah, he’d say controlling himself is second nature. pshh. light work.
he picks you up from the train station, helps you with your things, gets you settled into his apartment for the weekend, and everything is going swimmingly. he positively can hold himself back until the time is right. totally not nearly bursting at the seams with the need to pounce on you. definitely not already picturing the mess he wants to make of you. this is easy.
then you stride into his living room after changing clothes. you’re beaming at him, so excited to be with your favorite person once more. you’re also, he notices, wearing the smallest sleep shorts possible. shorts that happen to hike up ever so slightly when you take a step. shorts that reveal a sliver of your underwear as you walk around the living room searching for the tv remote.
suddenly, caleb isn’t too sure he can even spell “self-control”.
his eyes track your movements like a radar system locking onto a target. your underwear of choice today isn’t even anything special, a neutral shade of pink that could be found anywhere, at any store, but it doesn’t matter. it shapes your ass perfectly and he groans inwardly at the sight.
or maybe outwardly. he’s already so far gone that he doesn’t know anymore.
caleb’s legs are moving before his mind fully gives them permission to do so and makes his way over to where you stand in the living room. his hands find purchase on your waist, spinning you to face him before leaning in and kissing you.  
the kiss is desperate, hungry, and by no means slow. weeks of longing and desire so evident in the way his lips capture yours, all traces of self-control gone. his tongue pleads for access into your mouth while his hands simultaneously pull your hips against his own, and he’s impossibly hard already. the quickness of it all surprises you, so you pull away to address him, slightly out of breath and confused. which is all to his complete and utter dismay.
“caleb?”
the look on his face is so unimaginably needy, so desperate in a way you've never seen before. he looks as though you've wounded him for even having the thought of pulling away, how dare you create space between us, and it makes you want to indulge him in everything he could possibly ask for right then and there.
“want you”
his voice is breathy and low, completely meddled with lust, and those words are all he manages to get out before immediately leaning in to kiss you again. you kiss him back, the forwardness and obvious want turning you on. the kiss intensifies, caleb doing as he pleases with you, tongue overlapping yours, hands squeezing your body, hips grinding into you so desperately you'd think him a dog. that thought alone has hot, molten desire shooting through your body.
you spread your legs ever so slightly to have his thrusts hit home and moan into his mouth the second they do. the clothed friction arousing you more than you'd like to admit. he picks up on your movements, naturally, he's memorized everything about you, and spins you around so that your back is against his chest.
“been waitin to feel you for so long”
he nearly whines directly into your ear, the truth of his words pressing directly into your backside and causing your mind to go hazy with lust. he trails kisses down your neck and you bite your lip in anticipation, the tone of his voice and hard length touching you getting you beyond worked up.
caleb tugs at your shorts, a silent command to take them off, and you do so with no hesitation. the second your standing straight up again he pulls you against his chest once more and slides his knee in between one of your legs, effectively spreading them apart for easier access.
he then grabs your chin to open your mouth and slips two of fingers inside. not needing to be told what to do, you start sucking on them, twirling your tongue around them in a way that makes him grunt and stiffen behind you. you smile inwardly to yourself, your affect on him palpable.
pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he snakes an arm around your waist and mixes your spit with the wetness already pooling in your underwear. he smirks to himself and chuckles, your need for him clear as day, and does you no favors by trailing his fingers to spread it to your clit.
“so wet and I haven’t even properly touched you yet..”
you whine in response, a needy sound that only spurs him on further. he draws circles around your clothed clit, adding to the arousal already collecting in your underwear to near uncomfortable levels. its sloppy and messy and quickly spreading to your thighs, just how he likes it.
you grind your ass into him, wanting- no, needing- him to touch you skin to skin, and he lets out a sharp hiss at the movement.
“don’t tease, caleb”
your voice is pleading, borderline begging him to give you what you want. unfortunately for you, hearing you beg and get more and more desperate for him is his only true goal in this life. he speeds up his movements and sucks onto your neck in response, surely leaving a mark by the intensity.
“c'mon, you can handle a little bit more. i know you can”
he's thankful you aren't able to see his face currently, because to be honest, he’s barely keeping himself in check. every move you make, every sound that comes from you, god even the way you smell, has each individual nerve in his body screaming at him to rip off your clothes and show you exactly how desperately he’s been missing you in every sense of the word.
yet it’s the almost there, not quite there action of pleasure that’s driving him absolutely wild.
caleb decides to take it a step further, really make things messy the way he gets so hard for, by slipping his dick out and rubbing it against your newly dampened underwear. his pre cum mixes with your wetness and absolutely drenches the seat of your panties.
he lets out a gravelly moan at the feeling, right into your ear, and you have to hold yourself back from finishing right then and there at the sound. you spread your legs wider for him, accepting the pleasure despite the fullness you're craving.
“talk to me pips, wanna hear that pretty voice”
his pace is mind numbing, not too slow, not too fast. the pressure against your core almost enough, but caleb knows better than to give it all to you. on top of that, his dick being so close but not directly touching you is making your brain go haywire.
“please cal, no more. need you inside.”
“uh huh. what else?”
you whine at his demand for more, and you're burning with the delicious friction due the mess between the both of you right now. you rack your brain, fighting the urge to give in to him and just full on beg for more. he wants to see it so badly, wants to hear the pitch change in your voice and feel your thighs squirm once you do. he can clearly feel the want u have for him, its currently staining his pants, but he needs to hear it as well.
“can't take it. need you so bad, need more. you feel so good, always feel so good. im yours, only yours. please”
you're a rambling mess at this point, only caring about the desire that's building inside you and caleb’s prenatural ability to get you there faster. curses flow from his mouth freely at your words, and he walks you towards the arm of the living room couch, tapping twice on your back to bend over for him.
the second you're bent in front of him, he moves your panties to the side and sinks in between your drenched folds. you moan his name lewdly as his tip hits directly on your clit and tears almost spring to your eyes at the long desired sensation.
caleb’s knees nearly buckle, the teasing doing a number on you both, and he digs his hand into your waist to steady himself. he grinds between your folds once, twice, and right before you're about to get onto him again for his incessant build up, he thrusts inside you like a dog gone rabid. a cry rips from your throat and your vision almost blurs, the pace brutal and the feeling somehow impossibly too much and too little.
“couldn’t stop thinkin about you-fuck- thinkin about how tight you always are for me”
it's his turn to ramble now, his words accompanied by each pointed thrust inside you. he drinks in the sight of his dick slipping in and out of you, with no resistance whatsoever, sliding right past the ruined underwear that still clings to your body, and has to mentally stop himself from cumming just at the sight.
“hate when you're not here, hate that i have to fuck my fist to the thought of you”
you moan at his confession, his dirty words combined with the slight friction of your panties against your clit building the pressure inside you and causing your leaking arousal to spread from the mess that is your core to his thighs.
“shit! love making a mess on this pussy. you like it too, huh pip? wanna hear you say it”
you’re so close, him talking to you so conversationally while fucking you in doggy and hitting that deep spot inside you has your mind spinning.
“yes yes i love making a mess for you!! gonna cum-”
your quick confession has his dick straining, fighting to not empty his load without warning. he needs you to finish first, he’s got one more thing in the back of his mind that needs completing.
caleb shifts your hips closer to him so he can pull your sopping underwear further to the side and rub your clit. perfect circles have you clawing at the couch and clenching around him so tightly that he's not too sure he’ll last.
“such a dirty girl, you're drippin everywhere. need you to be good and cum on me yeah?”
his flithy mix of degradation and need send you hurtling off the edge as white, hot pleasure courses through you. you cum with a newfound intensity that only caleb would be capable of pulling from you.
said man bites his lip hard enough to draw blood to stop himself from finishing with you, everything about you cumming on his cock making him go mad. a couple more thrusts and he realizes he can’t take it any longer, the feeling of you spasming around him becoming too much.
caleb pulls out of you, readjusts your underwear the best he can with what little time he has while still pumping himself, and cums all over the fabric with a series of broken groans. at first he tries to aim and make the most effective mess he can, but he soon loses himself to how fucking good it feels. he's left reeling from the intensity, but he can't look away from you. he genuinely wishes he could burn this image into his mind forever. however, he finds himself saying this every time you have sex.
as you both catch your breath, he leans forward to kiss your back, shoulders, neck, jaw, all places of exposed skin. while doing so he makes sure to mix all the fluids together on the soaking wet article of clothing, his ministrations leaving you twitching in overstimulation.
once he's satisfied with his handiwork, he slips them off of you and picks up your spent body, carrying you to his bedroom and laying you down on his bed with the gentleness of a soft afternoon breeze.
"grabbin a towel, honey. don't go walking all around the apartment now"
you roll your eyes at his words, as you've already sunken into the mattress and couldn't be paid to leave this bed. he chuckles knowingly in response, but before he leaves the room he sneaks a final glance to make sure your eyes are closed.
its then that he opens the top drawer of his dresser and places your underwear inside, the newest member of his prized collection<3
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a/n (2): first fic and naturally it’s my munch caleb. hope it doesn’t sound too clunky as this is also my first time writing out smut🫣 i will prevail and become a smut writing champion!!!
@tojicide this one is for you friend, hope u enjoy ^_^
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glamourscat · 6 months ago
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May i please request headcanons, maybe a drabble of the batboys where reader is trying so hard to pretend that they don't know anything about their partner being a vigilante because they want to be told with trust and the boys are growing increasingly concerned about their s/o's obliviousness bcs like?? and the their s/o keeps saying things like "haha yeah!! red robin's super underground but that costume is pretty good timmy!" and "oh? i do have a thing for morally gray men, lovely red hood costume" whenever they accidentally see parts of the costume and can't pretend they didn't see it
idk i just think it would be funny af, ty in advance!!
i decided to go for drabbles. they are quite long so i only did jason and tim. should i do dick, maybe steph too, in the near future? let me know!
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"You can't be serious," Jason thought. It's not that you're blind, and he’s not exactly being subtle. He knew from day one that being involved with a civilian meant the topic of his nightlife would eventually come to light. Before getting together you two had been friends for a long time, but he never quite managed to outright say, "Hey, by the way, I’m Red Hood." How do you even drop something like that into a conversation? 
Yet, as your relationship grew, more milestones came along and suddenly, you two were approaching your 2 year anniversary. Now, more than ever, as you found yourselves living together, Jason knew it was going to be harder to explain his secret. How many lies could he keep telling about going to help Roy or some emergency with Dick? How many nights could he still sneak out after you’d fallen asleep, only to return aching from a patrol?
So, he started leaving subtle hints. From his domino mask to his gloves… but hell, at this point, he might as well leave his whole costume out, because how in the hell are you not picking up on the clues?
“You know, Jay, that vigilante... What's his name? The one in red? Oh right, Red Hood. He’s pretty cool, right? I mean, he has a different approach than the others, i think some would say morally gray. I mean, hot.. Anyway, but—oh, wait, this is a lovely Red Hood costume! I didn’t know you were a fan too?!”
At that moment, Jason didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or do both at the same time. Maybe by accident—maybe not—he had left his entire costume out. And it wasn’t exactly cheap. The fabric was thick, heavy, it was definitely not something you’d find at a Spirit Halloween. Yet, you just folded it, didn’t ask any questions, and continued with your little chat.
“Doll, you got a moment?” he asked, trying to keep his tone as calm as possible because he was seconds away from laughing his lungs out.
“Yeah, Jay?” You looked at him, internally sweating. Did you give anything away? Did he suspect that you knew?
“You know, doll… that… the costume. I mean, it’s not fake, right? I…” He sighed, trying to find the right words.
“It’s real. Because I’m the Red Hood.” There. He’d said it. A relieved sigh left his lips as the words came out. Now comes the hardest part: your reaction. Would you laugh? Be shocked?
“Oh, yeah. I knew.”
What?
“What—? I beg your pardon?” Jason asked, his voice laced with disbelief, eyes scanning you to figure out if you were lying.
“I mean, you’re not exactly the most subtle, love, are you?” You said, amusement dancing in your eyes as you tried to hold back a smile. “Besides, I found out a while ago. I was just waiting, I suppose. It wasn’t my place to ask or say anything. I figured when you were ready, you’d say something.” You shrugged nonchalantly.
“Wait… when did you find out?” Jason raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“Well, you see… It wasn’t that hard. At the beginning of our relationship when I’d tell you, ‘Hey, I’m going out with my friends tonight,’ and then coincidentally, when something happened—because it’s Gotham, let's be honest—there you were, Red Hood, swooping in to save the day. Always fleeting, never lingering too long. But what was really odd was that both Red Hood and my new boyfriend had the exact same walk style. Not to mention, Jay, mask or no mask, costume or no costume, I could still recognize you. Even in a crowded room.”
Jason just stood there, stunned. How had he missed all the signs? A part of him was relieved, he didn’t have to keep lying, but another part of him couldn’t believe he had been so obvious. You were too sharp for him to pull anything past you. And to think he was under the impression he had you fooled…
As he looked at you, he realized there was more to your patience than just waiting for him to confess. You’d known, but you’d never pushed him. It made him wonder how long you had really been aware. But now that it was out in the open, Jason found himself surprised by how easy the weight of the secret seemed to fall away. He’d been carrying it for so long, and yet, with you, there was no judgment, no shock. Just acceptance.
"You've always been patient with me," he murmured, his voice soft but grateful.
You gave him a warm, knowing smile, stepping closer. "Because I know you, Jason. And I know what you're doing matters. It’s a part of who you are, just like everything else."
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Tim was stressed, but to be fair, Tim was always stressed. You two had been dating for a good while now and had been friends for much longer. However, somehow, he still hadn’t brought up the whole vigilante thing. Maybe it was because he was scared, or maybe it was due to his own selfishness. For once, he just wanted someone to see him as Tim and only Tim. But the truth was, he couldn’t exist without Red Robin. He knew that. And it had been too long. He knew he had to say something. But… does he?
Still, something didn’t sit right with him. It was the way you weren’t questioning him anymore on why he was always so tired, why sometimes he had to be gone for an entire week or why he trained so intensely. His physique, though not the most built, was still incredibly fit for a “simple rich kid.” And for the life of him, he couldn’t understand if you were just pretending not to notice or if you honestly hadn’t put it together. But when you suggested what costumes to wear for Halloween, he almost passed out on the spot.
“Yeah, I mean, we can do a couple’s costumes or… I don’t know, Tim. We can always go as… hmm? What about we go as vigilantes? I can be Wonder Woman and you can be Red Robin. It’s pretty underground. I’m sure the costume will look great; besides, you already have a good replica in your wardrobe. Fits like a glove, no?”
Like, this had to be a joke, right? Sometimes Tim wondered if his life was some kind of reality show, secretly followed by cameras just to capture his reaction to these weird, questionable moments.
He froze for a moment, staring at you, trying to piece everything together. Was this your way of telling him you knew? Was this a test?
“Uh... you... know?” he asked, his voice betraying a mix of confusion and disbelief.
You look at him confused. “Know what?” You shrugged, casually leaning back in your chair.
Tim blinked, his mind racing. He was smart, very so, but at this very moment he felt like the most ignorant being on planet Earth. He looks at you and you look at him and for a moment there is this unspoken, silent battle.
“You know, that I am Red Robin.” he says, quietly. Eyes searching yours for an answer.
“And what if I do?” you reply back equally quietly.
He had expected a lot of things. Shock, anger, even confusion, but not this calm, almost nonchalant acknowledgment. And yet, a wave of relief washed over him. You weren’t angry or disappointed. You weren’t even all that surprised.
“I’ve always known, Tim,” you continued, your tone softening. “You’ve been dropping clues left and right. The late nights, the cryptic phone calls, the strange bruises... And don’t even get me started on your ‘training’ routines. I never pushed because I knew you’d tell me when you were ready. And now, here we are. Although… I certainly did not imagine it to happen in such a way” you say, letting out a small soft laugh. 
Tim let out a shaky breath, his shoulders sagging in a way that felt like he’d been carrying a weight for far too long. "I didn’t want to burden you with it. I didn’t want to be Red Robin to you. I just wanted to be... just Tim."
You smiled softly, walking over to hug him. “And you are. You’re Red Robin, sure, but you’re not just that; are you? You’re Tim. My Tim. Two things can coexist at the same exact time, this is just what makes you.. You, ya know?” 
Tim stared at you for a moment, hands around your waist, his mind still processing. It was as if the entire weight of the secret identity he’d been carrying all this time suddenly evaporated. He had been so worried about how you would react, but now that it was out in the open, there was nothing left to hide.
"Thanks," he whispered, his head dropping to your neck. Hiding, but not really. It was more or so a way to feel you even closer. 
Your head gently resting against his, brushing a kiss against his hair. “Always, Tim. You’re still the same guy I fell for. I love you.”
© GLAMOURSCAT (all rights reserved. do not share, modify, translate and re-upload my work outside of tumblr)
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lovscb97 · 8 months ago
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tags: nerd!bang chan x cheerleader!fem!reader, inexperienced chan, experienced reader, kissing, slight corruption kink, kinda toxic relationship, oral sex (f. receiving), face-sitting, exhibitionism lowkey (they’re in a locker room), nicknames (channie, baby, pretty boy), angst kinda?, porn with some plot, etc
wc: 2.06k
add. notes: these previews kilt me. they Kilt Me. therefore i present to u face-sitting with nerd chan. it's not entirely pwp but enjoy anyways :3
nerd!chan pt. 2 / nerd!chan headcannons / drabble #1
. . . 
you’re not quite sure how you got here, honestly. one moment, you’re out at cheer practice with your girls, doing complicated stunts and diligently rehearsing the rigorous routines outlined for the upcoming game, all with your coach blowing her whistle every other minute of course. but the next? 
you’re in a stuffy locker room making out with the captain of the mathletes team as he pants against your mouth, begging you for more.
it started off with a simple favour— you needed somebody to help you get your grades up after missing one too many classes, and chan was the best in the year; naturally, you asked for his assistance. he’d gone wide in the eyes and red in the face when you’d walked up to him after your shared lecture, leaving you biting back a laugh at the way he stuttered over his words over the prospect of teaching you, even refusing at first. to your fortunate pleasure however, you convinced him to agree in the end, which is how you ended up at your first session in his house, crammed together on his childhood bed and eyeing the walls of his room littered with spelling bee awards and academic medals from various competitions. 
somehow down the line of those little sessions, you and chan grew closer, bonding over your shared love for movies and hidden local diners in your city, and the first time you hung out with him outside of the guise of studying at those very local diners, you found yourselves grinding against each other in the backseat of his beatdown car. you still remember the way he fumbled over himself, red ears burning and big doe eyes blinking up at you as you kissed him, albeit awkward with his lack of expertise but still sweet in the way he held you close to him. you suppose that’s where your little ‘sessions’ turned into a special type of studying, and where this charade began to unfold as your dirty secret.
which brings you back to now. 
“need.. need you.” chan huffs, pulling away momentarily from messily locking his lips with yours as you breathe heavily against him. you blink for a moment as if processing his words, and a cheeky smile spreads across your face slowly as you take in his disheveled hair and blown out features. “yeah? what do you need, pretty boy?” you tease, trailing a single finger across his pale skin to trace the outline of his collarbone, feeling him shiver under your touch as a low whine escapes his mouth. 
“need to taste you.” he mumbles shyly, and you coo at the way he hangs his head low as if he’s embarrassed to admit it, hooking a finger under his chin to get a look at his slightly teary eyes. when they finally make contact with yours, you can’t help but smile softly, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips that has your insides positively melting. 
sometimes you realise that despite his enthusiasm in engaging with you, chan is just a soft-spoken boy. he’s so untouched and pure that it makes you want to absolutely break him, to taint that perfect image he’s put on and quite literally corrupt him to become your toy. amidst that realisation, it also dawns on you that one day he’ll come to terms with the fact that this isn’t what he deserves, that this isn’t how he should be enjoying his firsts with someone who doesn’t even have the nerve to commit to him and how he’ll move on sooner or later to find somebody better that can give him what he wants without needing to hide it. the mere thought of it always leaves your stomach swirling in bitterness and disgust, but you swallow the lump it creates at the back of your throat because those are feelings you’re yet not ready to confront, and for now, if this is what you can have, then this is what you’ll take.
“and how do you want me?” you ask lowly, taking chan’s hand in yours and placing it on your waist, feeling the way he bunches up the fabric of your cheer outfit in his palm. “tell me.” you murmur. “tell me and i’ll give it all to you.”
“want you to sit my face.” he gasps out, hooded eyes staring at you as the words leave his mouth, and suddenly all your self restraint is snapping in half. before you know it, you’re yanking him by the collar of his brown jacket, smashing your lips together once more and swallowing the squeak of surprise that leaves him. the kiss is desperate, and wet, and sloppy, but neither of you care about it or the fact that anyone could walk in and see you both, far too lost in each other to give much of a damn. 
“get on the bench.” you demand once you’ve retracted yourself from him, chan’s wide pupils searching yours to see if you’re serious. when you don’t say anything or move, he’s immediately scrambling for his balance and toppling back onto the wooden structure, drawing a small giggle from you that has his insides tightening and jeans straining. 
“wait!” he blurts out as you move to hook your fingers into your skirt, swallowing when you raise an eyebrow at him. “keep it on.” he whispers, and you swear your heart stops beating right then and there. you nod slowly after a while in understanding, because that’s all you fear you can manage without actually jumping his bones in that moment. 
“lay on your back.” you quietly instruct, and chan eagerly follows like a puppy taking orders from its owner. he yelps when his snapback falls off his head at the angle he’s at, but you’re quick to catch it, pushing it back onto his curls with a wink as you straddle his face. “keep it on.” you mimic his words from earlier, chuckling at the way his cheeks flush pink at your response because by god, he was far too cute for his own good. 
“wait a minute,” chan’s eyes widen when he at last focuses his attention on you and gets a glimpse of your drenched core. “were you.. were you not wearing anything under your skirt?” he questions cautiously, nearly choking when you merely shrug. “i like easy access.” a devious smirk journeys across your face when you answer him, and chan has to bite back a moan at the idea of you parading around commando all day. his imagination doesn’t get the chance to run too wild, because by the time he can even register what’s happening, you’re already lowering yourself onto his awaiting mouth, groans leaving the two of you at the fact that you’re both finally, finally getting what you’ve been waiting for all day.
“fuck,” chan curses into you, and you hiss at the way his words rumble deep in his chest and travel through your core. “fuck, fuck, fuck.” he breathes out once more, swiping through your folds hysterically as your taste invades his senses. you’re everywhere, in his mind, his mouth, even his soul, especially from the way you begin to slowly rock yourself back and forth on his wet muscle. he swears he might die a happy man today when he feels your thighs smothering him on each side, hands moving up to grip the plush of them before he’s sticking his tongue out and letting you ride it.
“how are you so good at this?” you laugh to yourself in disbelief, biting your lip at the way his nose bumps against your clit perfectly each time he lets you move yourself against him. chan merely grunts in response, too engrossed in eating you out to even answer, and when he pulls you down to suck on your swollen bundle of nerves, you swear you see stars. the only thing heard in the isolated locker room you’re currently going at it in by now are the lewd slurps coming from his mouth along with your whimpers, which only get higher in pitch the more he continues to eat at you.
“so damn good.” chan keens. “so fucking wet, and sweet too.” his words only spur you on further, and before you know it, the telltale signs of your orgasm are creeping up on you. chan shows no signs of stopping though, his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave bruises and pulling you impossibly further down on his mouth to the point you feel like you actually might suffocate him. he doesn’t care, of course, he’d die a happy man to be smothered by your perfect cunt.
“channie, baby, wait.” you cry out softly when he envelops your engorged nub in his mouth and laves his tongue over it repeatedly, moaning obscenely against your pussy. “‘m gonna cum if you do that, wait, wait.” chan in fact does not wait, only speeding up his movements and continuing to lick at you until you’re shaking through the familiar waves of pleasure, a silent scream falling from your lips as you spray warm and wet on his tongue. it drips down his chin and your inner thighs, but neither of you care with you buzzing in overstimulation from the way chan continues to suck at you through the shocks, and him with you cumming on his tongue so pretty. 
by the time you’re done, he’s still going at it, and it takes you gripping his hair and weakly standing up from his mouth to get chan to finally stop. when you look down at him from your awkward position, the lower half of his face glistens back at you, his plump lips and pretty features wet with your arousal and juices, prompting you to bite back a moan. you swing your leg over and shakily stand, petting your skirt down to get rid of the creases as chan sits up, still looking like he ascended to another dimensional plane. he’s rock hard in his boxers by now, cock painfully straining against his jeans, but he can’t find it in himself to get you to help him out.
“well,” you clear your throat after a moment of silence. “i should get going.” chan’s heart sinks in his chest at your words, and it must show in his expression too because you can’t seem to meet his eyes with the way your gaze stays locked on your twiddling fingers. “they’re probably wondering where i’ve been, so..” you trail off, trying to find a way to excuse yourself despite your mind screaming at you to do otherwise.
“yeah.” chan curses internally at the way his voice cracks. “yeah, you should go.” the sentence comes out more bitter than he intends it to, but he can’t help it. a part of him wants you to feel guilty for just up and leaving without even delving into what this is, what it could mean and become if you just allowed yourself to let it do so, but he’s come to learn that he just can’t expect that from you at this point. so, he doesn’t, instead choosing to wave bye as you sheepishly make your way outside the locker room to the field. once you’re out of sight, he sighs heavily, covering his face with his hands before flopping back down on the bench, his mind racing with thoughts. 
because the simple fact is that chan knows. he knows you’re oh so out of his league, and you would’ve been miles away from his reach either way had it not been for the fact that you stopped him one random thursday afternoon to ask if he could help you out in economics 101. and yet, a part of him still longs for you, longs for your presence and the way you bat your eyelashes at him when he scolds you for getting a question wrong. he longs for the way your perfume wafts in his direction when you pass him in the hallways, ignoring his existence like you both weren’t tangled up in each other’s embrace the night before. even though his heart hurts so painfully, even though his friends all say you’re bad for him, even though he knows himself how bad you are for him, he doesn’t care. 
for him, it’s always going to be you.
. . . 
comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3
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wchswift · 6 months ago
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Jealous Logan ༉‧₊˚
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Pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader Summary: Logan has a jealous episode during the holiday party at the X-Mansion, finally confessing his love for you. Warnings: none, but minors do not interact, please!! Word count: 1757 a/n: I was in the shower and I had this thought about Logan and Reader at a Christmas party at the X-mansion and Logan just going crazy with jealousy seeing Reader interact with anyone but him. This idea didn't leave my mind so I had to write it... This was supposed to be a drabble, but it ended up being a bit long and I don't know if I liked it :/
mdni 𖤐 18+
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The X-mansion was bustling with mutants celebrating the Christmas season. Logan stood off to the side, nursing a beer as he observed the festive scene. His eyes, however, frequently darted to you as you laughed and chatted with Scott and some other mutants. A pang of jealousy flickered in his eyes each time Scott made you laugh or touched your arm. Logan tried to play it cool, but the irritation was becoming harder to hide. Despite his efforts to appear nonchalant, his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes betrayed his feelings.
By the time the night wore on, Logan’s patience was wearing thin. Each time Scott leaned in too close, it felt like a personal provocation. He drained his beer, hoping to douse the fire in his chest, but the ache only grew. He couldn’t shake the thought: it should be him making you laugh, standing at your side.
“Careful,” came Storm’s voice from behind, pulling him from his brooding thoughts. “If you keep glaring like that, people might think you’ve got something to say.”
Logan didn’t even look at her, his gaze still locked on you across the room. “What are you talking about?”
Storm followed his gaze, amused. “Oh, nothing. Just that you’ve been staring at her all night and look like you’re about to burst a vein. Got something on your mind?”
Logan scowled, still refusing to engage. His silence spoke volumes.
Storm’s tone softened, her playful edge giving way to sincerity. “You know, you could just tell her how you feel. She’s been glancing your way all night. But keep sulking, and you might regret it.”
Logan’s jaw clenched again at the thought, but he didn’t say anything. He muttered a curse under his breath and moved deeper into the party, his eyes scanning the crowd for you.
He pushed past a few groups of mutants, the noise and chatter growing louder as he tried to focus. The lively conversations, clinking glasses, and the upbeat Christmas music filled the air. He was aware of the conversations happening nearby, but none of them mattered. All he could think about was you. He had to find you.
Through the crowd, Logan finally caught sight of you. You were alone in a quiet corner of the room, standing before the large Christmas tree. The twinkling lights reflected in your eyes as you sipped your drink, lost in thought, your back turned to the noise of the party.
He slowly made his way through the crowd, his steps deliberate but uncertain. For a moment, he hesitated. There was something so peaceful about you standing there, almost as if you belonged in that quiet corner, untouched by the noise and chaos of the celebration. Logan took a step closer, and you sensed his presence behind you. You didn’t turn, but a smile spread across your face.
"Hi, Logan. “Didn’t think I’d see you tonight,” you greet with a gentle voice, watching the lights on the Christmas tree twinkle.
Logan cleared his throat, the gruffness in his voice betraying his nerves. “Can we talk for a minute?”
You turned, curious about his tone. “Sure, what’s up?”
He stepped closer, his hands slipping into his pockets as he gathers his thoughts. His voice was hesitant but firm. “I noticed you’ve been... getting pretty close to Scott tonight.”
You raised an eyebrow, the sudden change in his tone catching you off guard. “Oh, well yeah... you know how Scott is,” you said, giggling. “He likes to crack jokes even when no one finds them funny. He’s lucky my laugh comes easy.”
Logan gave you a tight smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He nodded, trying to suppress the tightening feeling in his chest. “Right. You two seem to get along pretty well lately. Are you...?”
He stop, the question unfinished, but you could hear the uncertainty in his voice. His usual confidence wavered slightly, and it made you pause, confused by his sudden discomfort. You raise an eyebrow at his intense gaze, curious about his sudden upset. For a moment, your smile falters as you grasp the question Logan is hinting at. You tilted your head, sensing something deeper in his question. "Scott and I..." you trailed off, noticing his tense expression. “We’re friends, Logan. Why do you ask?”
"Just making sure.." He murmurs, his eyes fixed on your face, scanning your expression. He tries to hide it, but there's a hint of vulnerability in his usually stoic demeanor. His voice was quieter now, and as he stood a bit closer, you could feel the tension radiating off him. The space between you felt charged, like something unspoken was hanging in the air. You could see through him—his rough exterior couldn’t hide the vulnerability beneath.
Realization flickered across your face, and you tilted your head, studying him. “Logan, are you jealous?” you asked, half-teasing, half-genuine.
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he looked as though he might deny it. Instead, he let out a heavy breath. “Maybe. Hell, probably.”
Your smile softened, and you took a small step toward him. “Scott’s my friend. That’s all. You don’t need to worry about him.”
The tension in Logan’s shoulders eased, but his gaze stayed locked on you. He hesitated again as if weighing his next words. When he spoke, his voice was quieter, almost vulnerable. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to say. Something I should’ve said a long time ago...” He falters, gathering his thoughts, but before he can continue, you can’t help but jump in.
You raised an eyebrow, teasing him, a smile dancing across your lips as realization dawns on you. "Oh my god, Logan! Are you trying to tell me you're in love with me, you big silly man?" You lean in closer, eyes sparkling with mischief, enjoying the sight of his awkward demeanor and surprised expression.
Logan's eyes widened at your words. He hadn't expected you to address his struggle to find the right words so bluntly. A mix of embarrassment and relief washed over his face as he looked at you. He sputtered, his usually confident demeanor faltering in the face of your teasing. "What?! I'm not—" His denial was half-hearted, his face betraying his true feelings.
You raised an eyebrow, feigning confusion as a playful smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "You're not what? Not in love with me?" you asked innocently, tilting your head to one side in a teasing manner. The amusement in your voice danced through the air, and you relished the effect your words had on him. You could see the cracks beginning to form in his typically tough exterior, and it thrilled you. Biting your bottom lip, you felt a rush of excitement and nervousness, your heart pounding wildly in your chest as you eagerly awaited his response.
He opens his mouth to protest further, but the denial dies on his tongue as he looks at you. The sight of your playful expression, coupled with the knowledge that you've seen through his attempt to hide his feelings leaves him uncharacteristically flustered.
His eyes search yours, his usual guarded expression broken down. He struggles for words, his gruff exterior giving way to a vulnerability he rarely shows.
Logan clenched his jaw, trying to regain some control over the situation. But your teasing words and the amusement in your eyes made it difficult to suppress his feelings.
He let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping slightly in defeat. "All right, damnit. You got me. Yes, I…" He looked directly into your eyes, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "I'm in love with you. Have been for a while, if I'm being honest. I just couldn't figure out how to tell you."
Your eyes soften at his admission, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. You step closer to him, eliminating the small distance between you. "Damn, Logan. It took you long enough to admit it. I was starting to think you had a thing for Scott instead of me." you teased, your tone affectionate.
Logan rolled his eyes in mock annoyance, but a small smirk tugged at his mouth. "Shut up," he mutters, his hands instinctively resting on your waist. "Don't even joke about that." His increasingly serious eyes roamed over your face, taking in every feature, as if committing them to memory.
You laughed, stepping closer, until there was barely any space between you. “For the record,” you said softly, “you’re the one I want. Not Scott, not anyone else.”
Relief washed over Logan’s face, softening his usual gruffness. “Yeah?” he murmured, his hands hesitating before resting on your waist.
“Yeah.” Your voice was steady, your gaze unwavering. “Just you.”
Logan's expression relaxed at your words, his forehead gently resting against yours. The proximity made your breathing hitch and your heart skip a beat. You leaned a little closer, your faces mere inches apart. The air was electric between you, filled with tension and desire. Logan's eyes flickered down to your lips, the craving for you visible in his gaze. He closed the distance between you, his lips capturing yours in a kiss. It was at the same time tender and intense, his passion for you finally spilling over.
The kiss deepened as your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. The world around you faded away for a moment, leaving just the two of you. When the kiss ended, he rested his forehead against yours, both of you panting slightly, Logan’s eyes searched your face as if he were afraid this was all just a dream. He let out a shaky exhale, his breath warm against your skin.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he murmured, his voice filled with both relief and awe.
You smiled, your fingers tracing the edge of his jaw, your touch tender and loving. “I think I’ve got an idea,” you replied, tilting your head to look up at him. Logan wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you a little closer. He buried his face in your hair, inhaling your scent and holding you tightly. The tension of the night finally melted away. The distant hum of the party faded into the background as the two of you stood together, wrapped in each other’s warmth.
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𖤐 reblogs and feedback are appreciated! requests are also welcome, ty!
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loserabby · 13 days ago
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚.    𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃? 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 mom!abby x teacher!reader
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ .     ** MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, THIS IS AN 18+ BLOGI DO NOT GIVE ANYBODY PERMISSION TO REUPLOAD OR PLAGARISE MY WORK. IF YOU SEE SOMETHING I'VE WRITTEN ANYWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN HERE OR MY A03, PLEASE LET ME KNOW VIA ASK **
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₊˚ 𓂃 ₊ ˚ ✧ abby anderson is in trouble, and it's all her son's cute daycare teacher's fault — at least, that's what she tells herself each time you make her heart pound in her chest. she doesn't even know if you like women but the more time you both spend together, dancing around the edge of something, the more she wonders; is she the only one whose interested or is there something here?
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : explicit language, no outbreak au (modern), use of Y/N, fluff, references to sex/sexual acts, kids/de-aged characters (yara and lev as abby's kids - 6+3 respectively), lesbian pining, slight misunderstandings (they think each other are straight in the beginning), doctor!abby as well but i don't go too much into that, anxiety mentions (abby has a lot of mom guilt and stresses easily about her kids), just straight up yearning, kissing, dry humping (to quote madeline argy: "bring back dry humping"). vague mentions of neglect/abuse in side characters backgrounds. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 : 15,824k
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 : not gonna lie, this is the fic idea that brought me back to this site and i'm not even sorry. it was just supposed to be a small little drabble but it quickly went out of control, to the point i've had to cut scenes from my outline cause the word count was getting way too much for a one-shot. also please note: i used to be a childcare practitioner and have worked in nurseries for a few years with different age groups but i have no idea what the american daycare system is like so take the actual daycare things with a grain of salt bc idk what u guys do. i may potentially make a series out of this and add other parts in the future cause i grew quite attached to the characters in this au. also this is lev's shark backpack, for visualisation reasons, cause i fell down a rabbithole while writing and had to decide amongst three. [ read on ao3 ]
[ border credit ] [ resources for palestine ] [ boycott tlou ]
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The rain is coming down so heavily now she’s finding it hard to see through her windshield as she finally pulls into the daycare’s parking lot, but arriving does nothing to lessen the absolute panic Abby feels at being a whole twenty minutes late for pick-up. This was, not to be completely dramatic, her worst nightmare come true. Lev had only been at the daycare for less than a month and she was already late to collect him, thoughts of what the daycare staff probably thought of her, what other parents who might have seen him playing on his own as the last other child finally left, had plagued her mind the whole drive over. And no amount of slamming her palm on her horn had made the other drivers speed-up.
She takes a moment to herself when she kills the engine before she sucks in a breath, ripping her door open and sprinting out into the torrential downpour, immediately feeling her whole body soaked with the icy cold rain. Shit, ‘I should start bringing a coat for myself in the car’ she thought to herself, she always made sure she had backups for the kids but always failed to forget about herself. 
Her braid is slightly windswept and completely soaked, stray baby hairs stuck to her sopping forehead when she reaches the door to the building, punching the code in with frozen fingers and finally stepping inside when she hears the door open.
She stands for a second, dripping on the doormat and wipes off her shoes. She can’t do much about the way her clothes drip on the laminate floors of the hallway, nor the way her shoes squeak as she walks down it but at least she’s not tracking in dirty footprints she supposes. When she does reach Lev’s room, her heart stutters for a second when she sees the lights aren’t all on, the room slightly dimmed. ‘Was he gone? Did someone take him away? Am I that bad of a mom?!’ She spirals mentally, before noticing some movement in the side of the room that is still dimly lit.
She pushes the door open, sighing in relief when she sees her son playing in the home corner, pretending to chop up wooden fruit and handing the pieces with a gummy grin to his teacher. You, his beautiful, sweet teacher who eagerly took the half of a strawberry he had extended to you and thanked him profusely before pretending to eat it. You’re telling him how tasty it was when Abby finally makes her presence known. 
“I am so, so sorry! That rain came out of nowhere a-and I know I only work 20 minutes away from town but I swear, no one can drive in this weather” Abby’s eyes are wide, big and apologetic as she presses a wet kiss to the top of her sons’ head. 
“It’s fine, Dr Anderson, don’t worry. When it gets like this we expect a couple of the parents to be late, especially those who work up on the mountains or outside of town.” You give Abby a soft smile, attempting to comfort her. You’re well aware of how easily she begins to spiral with worry — something you picked up on during her induction into the setting. 
She’d been stressed then, going over all the paperwork not once, not twice but three times in fear she’d forgotten an allergy (he had none) or had written both her personal cell and work number down incorrectly (she hadn’t). Then there was Lev’s trial visits, spending a few hours getting to know the staff in the room he was in and bond with them, as well as socialising with the other children. Lev had, understandably, cried big fat tears down his little face as Abby had left but she’d only made it so far down the hallway before her own eyes had begun to water.
Cue you, having seen the tall woman’s body sliding down the wall from the window, stepping out into the hallway to console Abby, of all people. Not the child but the grown woman opening sobbing into her jacket. You’d been so understanding, offering her a tissue seemingly out of nowhere to wipe her eyes, and by the time you’d pulled a wet laugh from Abby she’d realised she could no longer hear Lev crying. 
“Wha— He… He stopped?”
“Yeah, most of them do. I think it’s the whole, out of sight, out of mind thing.” You’d shrugged, “He will miss you, but he’s just realised it’s not as scary as he thought it was.”
You’d stood up then, offering a hand to Abby to do the same. She took it sheepishly, embarrassed about her emotional display but you’d waved her off. “You’re not the first parent to cry at drop off and you won’t be the last. But be prepared, he’s gonna be so overwhelmed with emotion when you pick-up he’ll burst into tears again. It’s gonna tear out your heart strings but he’s fine, just got a lot of big feelings in a little body. They all do”
And boy were you right, but it didn’t pierce Abby’s heart as much as it would have if you hadn’t warned her it was going to happen. She’d never had any issue settling Yara into school after she’d adopted the siblings, in fact she’d barely got a ‘bye’ from the six year old before she was off into her classroom leaving Abby to stand in surprise and, embarrassingly, rejection of her own daughter. Recounting that story to Manny had earned his howling laughter and a ruffle of her hair, which then led to Abby swatting her colleague and long-time friend on the arm right in front of a patient. That was a great Monday.
Maybe the difference was Yara was ready to socialise from the get-go, Lev had been clingy and shied away from people. Abby had taken some time off from working in the practice for adoption leave to help Lev settle better, finding groups for moms with children who are a little more socially wary to ease him into socialising again. Mel and Owen would say she babied him but, as Ellie once pointed out during a coffee catch-up, he kind of is a baby.
Which is why it was a big step, not just for Lev, but for Abby when it came time to send him to daycare. She knew he was ready, but it was a big step for him. She was worried he may regress, finding it hard to socialise with a larger crowd of children or having difficulty identifying a ‘safe person’ in one of his teachers.
Quickly though, Lev had attached himself to you and, in a way, after that day and — admittedly, the subsequent days Abby had also cried like his first actual day — getting to know you more during the pick-ups’ and drop-offs’, Abby found herself getting attached too. A stupid, embarrassingly quick crush had begun to form and she felt like she was a teenage girl again, counting down the minutes until she got to see her crush in whatever class they shared.
“We’ve had a great day, haven’t we Lev?” You ask with that sugary sweet smile to the toddler, the one Abby’s come to find her heart flutters at, idly tidying up the home corner Lev had been playing in when Abby arrived as you spoke. You’ve got a handful of wooden toy fruits collected in your hand, all matched together before you pull out a wooden fruit crate and toss them in as gently as possible, before setting them on the toy kitchen’s shelf. “I’ve put some photos on the app for you, we explored the garden didn’t we? And found some mini beasts!”
Abby had been immersed in the daycare world long enough with Lev to know Mini Beasts meant… Bugs? They meant bugs right?
“Got worms! ‘nd stinkbugs!” Lev shouted cheerfully, turning to Abby with his arms in the air. She was close enough, she thinks. She goes to scoop him up then pauses, remembering her soaked clothes. As if also noticing Abby’s dilemma, you jump into action.
“Got all his stuff ready, raincoat and umbrella…” Lev’s shark backpack is thrown over one of your shoulders while you’ve already got his raincoat opened up for him to put his arms into, kneeling down to help him button his coat before Abby can jump in.
“Y’don’t have to do that, Y/N” she sighs, guilt lacing the words. She knows you don’t mean to make her feel like a shit mom, so effortlessly and thoughtfully helping the little boy but it’s just another thing she feels like she’s fucked up tonight. “I know it’s probably way past your shifts ending time, I can do that”
You level her with a look, shaking your head softly. “I’m not gonna rush you guys out and besides, maybe I just like hanging out with my bestest friend ever, Lev!” She finishes the buttons on his coat, giving him the gentlest pinch of the cheek Abby has ever seen and a ruffle of his hair. Absent-mindedly, Abby then makes a note to take Lev for another haircut since it’s curling at the nape of his neck.
“Okay, I think you’re all good for your mama to take you home, Levy-boy!” She feels her cheeks heat at you calling her mama, and damn if her little crush isn’t getting out of control. She has to bite at her tongue to distract from the immediate thoughts of you in her home, in her kitchen, in full domestic bliss. You sitting on her lap on her favourite arm chair, giving the kids that doting look before saying ‘ask your mama’ when they try and get something out of you. No! Fantasies of… God, she was soft — domestic bliss, really?! — Well, they were for when her head hit the pillow.
It’s only then, when she’s shaken all thoughts of how soft your skin would be as she held you during a family movie night, that Abby notices the rain boots on his feet, a teal blue and not his. She quirks a brow, looking up at you. “These aren’t his, I’ve got ���em at home. I know, I know, I’ll bring them in tomorrow” Abby bends to take them off his feet but your hands gently go to her wrist, small and dainty in comparison to her muscled arms. 
“They’re daycare spares, you can just leave ‘em out in the hallway tomorrow ‘nd one of us will take them to the mud room. His shoes’ll get soaked, even if you carry him so I figured I’d save him from getting wet feet.”
Fuck, see. Thoughtful.
As if noticing the attention on his footwear, Lev stretches a leg out to show the rain boot off, which earns him one of your soft melodic giggles and smiles. Abby could kiss her son for gifting them with that giggle, for that smile. 
It’s no wonder the kid let you put the rain boots on him, they’re not just a solid teal blue colour but have ocean wave patterns along the edges near the soles. “See, sp’ashin” He says, as if justifying it to his mom. Abby sighs, relenting. “Fine… Thank you, I’ll… I’ll make sure we bring them back tomorrow… And bring his ones in, y’know, in case it rains like this again”
Your pleased smile makes Abby’s stomach do a flip, so she distracts herself from it by finally scooping Lev up. “C’mon buddy, say bye to Y/N. We gotta go pick up Yara from her play-date, okay?”
“Is she doing good, I know you were a little worried about them when it came to making friends” You follow Abby and Lev out the room, finally turning off the lights in the room and walking out into the well-lit hallway. There’s still some other staff walking around, and another parent making a mad dash for the door — their child covered by their own jacket — which makes Abby feel a little bit better for, at least, not being the last parent to collect their kid. 
“Yeah, I mean she’s still a little stand-offish with people but she’s got a solid group of four friends in her first grade class so… It’s one of those kids that she’s having a play date with” Abby had pretty much gone overboard vetting that child's house too before she agreed to let Yara go unattended for dinner, so she was anxious about getting to her.
You could pick up on that, or at least the residual nervous energy from being late so you kept your response short. “I’ll let you guys head out then, but I bet she’s had a blast”
Abby doesn’t doubt that but she can’t help the tight smile on her lips, nerves beginning to boil over. What if they made something Yara doesn’t like? What if they have small portions and won’t give her seconds even if she’s hungry? What if she and her friend had a falling out cause Yara tried to mother he— “Dr. Anderson!”
Your voice cuts off her mental spiral, Abby’s blue eyes wide as she looks at you. In her arms, Lev is looking over his mom’s muscular shoulders at the rain outside of the window which is still coming down in lashes. “Wha… Sorry, did you… Did you say something?”
A faint laugh spills from your pretty lips but your eyes have concern in them as you look at the other woman. “I just said ‘Have a good night’ but you were off in your own head. Y’okay?”
Abby swallows nervously and hikes Lev up further on her hip, her sodden blazer and shirt moving uncomfortably against her equally wet skin. “Yeah, fine. I gotta go, but thanks for everything. See you in the mornin’?” It’s phrased as a question, but you both know it’s as set in stone as the sun rising.
She darts out the door, her hand over Lev’s head to secure the hood from his raincoat, before you can respond. She quickly unlocks her car, fixing Lev into his car seat at record speed and ignoring the icy pelting of rain on her back as she bends half-way into her car. It’s only when she’s got him all secure and closed his door that she looks back at the daycare’s main doors to see you still standing there, offering a small wave goodbye to them.
Abby mirrors your movement, cheeks heating once more before she jumps into the drivers seat and finally makes her way out of the parking lot.
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That wasn’t the last time Abby was late picking up Lev, although it was the latest she’d ever been. That was one of the hard parts about being a working mom, the Mom Guilt™ tends to eat you alive. She’d adjusted Lev’s hours to be more compatible to her hours at the clinic, even giving herself a set day off so she could spend a day at home and collect him earlier than she would do if she was at work. But, Lev was still at the daycare from start to finish most days and she couldn’t help but worry.
It became a routine though, Abby being the first parent to arrive and the last to leave. And oddly enough, it was always you she’d see. Not that she didn’t want to see you, but it felt oddly intimate getting to spend those few minutes so early just chatting with you. 
Not that she was complaining, not when she got to see your beautiful face and hear your voice before her day began and before her night began to end. Abby wasn’t religious but she might start saying prayers of thanks to any and all deities to keep this going.
She wasn’t sure what your hours were and she’d made a joke once about how you seemed to never get to have a lie-in or go home early. She could have swore your cheeks heated just a little and maybe you looked a little… Guilty? Like a child caught doing something you shouldn’t be. But maybe she was seeing things, it still being so early in the morning.
It became one of Abby’s favourite parts of the day, seeing you at drop off and collection. Getting your full attention, and soon the conversations weren’t just about the kids but about each other. Abby learned about your time in high school and college as a kids Summer Camp Counsellor and, in turn, Abby talked about growing up in Salt Lake City with her dad, practically raised by his fellow doctors and nurses and how he’d moved up to Jackson when she headed off to college to finally slow down before retirement, opening his own practice which Abby now runs.
It felt nice, like the two of you were bonding. Abby had to remind herself to not read too much into it, you were just nice. She didn’t even know if you liked women, never mind if it was your intention to make her heart thunder in her chest whenever you’d ask about something Abby had fleetingly mentioned three weeks earlier, already forgotten herself. 
You had this magic way of easing the mom guilt she had and she didn’t know how you managed it.
Realistically, though, she knew Lev saw the daycare staff and kids more than he saw Abby and Yara and that realisation had her sobbing into her pillow while a rerun of Stargate SG-1 played in the background. 
Abby had mentioned this self-depricatingly during one of the morning drop-offs, trying to disguise it as a joke. Maybe her face didn’t sell it though, or maybe you just knew her too well at this point but suddenly she felt your hand on her shoulder with a comforting touch.
“Dr. Anderson, stop” And she did, like a pup following an order, falling quiet and looking at you with an open expression. “You’re being too harsh on yourself. It’s a lot being a working mom and you’re doing amazing, and Lev is far from the first in the building… Or even the last one to leave. I promise”
“Th-Thanks..” Abby had managed to stutter out, a shy smile creeping on her lips. She hadn’t said it for praise or compliments, in fact she wasn’t sure why she said it. Something about you just.. Made it easy for her to speak. “I just.. I think cause I see him as the first to arrive and the last to leave in this room, my brain starts to go crazy thinking of him alone for ages until the rest of the kids turn up”
You shake your head, brows scrunched up in a disagreeing face. “I swear, after you leave it’s like a stampede of kids. I’m telling you, Lev and I barely get, what?—” you look down at Lev as if asking him to confirm. He and Yara are helping set the tables for breakfast with you, his small eyes looking as if he’s also pondering your question. “Five minutes? Maybe, of peace. And at the end of the night it’s maybe… Ten, fifteen at most before you get here. But I’m telling you, he’s fine, i’m fine, and more importantly you’re fine, Doc”
Abby felt a little bit better at your words, nodding. She glances at the clock, sighing when she realises she’s gonna have to leave soon to drop Yara off at school. “We better get you to school, huh Missy?” she calls down to her daughter, black hair in an intricate braid Abby had been forced to practice doing all weekend. Apparently, braids were an important thing in first grade.
Yara gives Lev one last hug and Abby bends down to press a kiss to the top of his head before the two move towards the door. You’re murmuring a ‘see you tonight’ when Abby turns to you, “You can call me Abby.. By the way. You keep calling me Doc or Dr. Anderson, but.. You can call me Abby”
The blonde wasn’t sure why saying that made her palms sweaty, or why her heart was racing. But then you smile, lips slowly curling and eyes averted from hers. You nod your head, testing the name on your tongue. “Abby.. Abby it is then” It sounds beautiful coming from your lips and she finds herself eager to find more ways to get you to say her name over and over again now she’s heard it.
She’s walking out with a silly, dumb smile stretched across her lips, Yara’s small hand in hers when the six year old gets her attention. “Mama, do you like Miss Y/N?” She says it quietly, like she knows it’s probably embarrassing. Abby’s eyes widen, darting around the hallway to make sure no one else heard the young girl. “Wha— Subtlety, c’mon.. why, uh.. why do you ask, Goob?” 
Yara takes her hand from Abby’s, crossing her arms over her chest and looking up at her mom with a look far too condescending to be on a six year old. “I am being subtle, that’s why I waited t’be outside. And your hands get sweaty when you talk to her”
Abby stares at her daughter for a moment before sucking in a deep breath, looking at the hanging paintings of children’s art work in the hallway like it might tell her how to have this conversation. “Should we get ice cream at the diner after dinner tonight” is what she says instead, ushering her daughter along and out the door. Yara just lets her.
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Soon the two of you are not just talking in the mornings and the evenings but through the day, albeit only through the daycares app. You justify why you spend so much time updating it is because you know Abby gets anxious and maybe seeing how Lev’s day has gone will help make her feel better by the time she comes to collect him.
Your colleagues give you knowing looks, all well aware that your own crush on Abby is the reason you do so much. If it weren’t for the fact you make the point to go above and beyond with all the kids then maybe then they’d have an issue with it, favouritism and all, but you don’t. Actually, bonding with Lev so much and Abby in return has made you feel so guilty you’re writing extra detailed posts for all the kids activities.
But if going the extra mile for all thirteen of the kids in your class just to see Abby’s comments on Lev’s posts, her reacting with emojis and her smile at the end of the day when she collects then it’s worth it. 
And she lives for these updates, not just like any parent would but because she feels like you’re actually taking the time to have fun with the kids, not just keeping them entertained to make the day go easier.
Her favorite post was one you made during some ‘Healthy Living’ week Abby didn’t even know was going on, about how the kids had tried new fruits and vegetables they may never have tried, all done some obstacle courses and played pretend with fake gym equipment. After that sentence followed a photo of him on the post, his big cheesy grin directed at the camera. He’d pushed his short-sleeves up past his shoulder and was flexing his ‘muscles’ to the camera ‘like his mama has’, showing off for his friends.
And when she’d asked him about it on the drive home from daycare, he’d not stopped talking about how ‘big’ and ‘strong’ (“Super-duper strong!”) his mama was. Abby printed out the photo and framed it in her office at work, her heart full at the thought her son admires her that way.
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It’s Wednesday, Abby’s set day off and while she’s very much aware that there’s a pile of laundry needing to go into her washing machine and a playroom currently looking like a crime scene, she’s sat in a coffee shop on main street across from her friends. 
Her hair is, for once, free of its usual braid and left down for ease, which immediately led to ribbing from Manny. Abby’s not sure how the topic shifted, maybe it was Manny teasing her that was a gate-way, but all of a sudden you were the topic of conversation. Namely, Abby’s big fat crush on you.
Yeah, she should have stayed at home.
“Guess you could say she’s hot for teacher, eh?” Manny’s loud laugh fills the coffee shop, their friends low laughter following as the blonde’s cheeks blaze.
“Knock it off, she’s… She’s just sweet, y’know” Abby’s eyes won’t meet any of their looks, voice quieter than usual. “And she’s good with the kids, both of them. That’s, like, mom kryptonite”
“She’s a daycare teacher, Abby. You’d hope that she was good with kids” Owen laughs, his newborn splayed across his chest as he leans his chair back against the wall. It’s their second kid, a baby girl and the group have spent a majority of their get-together passing the baby around like the world’s most precious game of pass the parcel.
It’s funny, when Mel and Owen first announced they were pregnant Abby had felt sad. Not because he was her ex-husband and she regretted the divorce, wanted it to be her instead of Mel carrying his baby but just because she realised she did want to be a mom, that all her friends were also falling pregnant. She was embarrassed by her jealousy, her yearning. If it wasn’t for Mel and Owen getting pregnant after one too many wine coolers at a group ski retreat, Abby wouldn’t be where she is now— Mom to Yara and Lev, the happiest she’s ever been.
“No, you.. You don’t get it. It’s not just Lev, it’s Yara too. She doesn’t just know their quirks, she gets them. She knows that if Lev’s had a portion but he’s still hungry, he won’t ask for anymore no matter how much he wants it. That you’ve gotta put it in front of him. She knows Yara used to.. That she was the one looking after him even when she was small, so she gives her some job to do at drop-off’s and collections so she feels important but isn’t being a kid looking after a kid.” Abby’s face is burning hot now, her heart is fluttering at the thought of you and she can’t help but feel embarrassed until she feels Nora’s hand at her back, rubbing soothingly.
“Yeah, she’s too far gone. Someone take Abby out back” She hears Ellie murmur under her breath, earning a soft dig from Dina and a few laughs from the table.
“Shut up,” She huffs, taking a sip of her drip coffee and pulling her phone out. She taps through the apps and pulls up your posts on Lev’s daycare profile. “I mean, how am I not supposed to like her when she’s hardworking and it has to do with my kid. She knows Lev is obsessed with sharks so she organised this whole ocean themed water activity for all the kids with Lev as her helper. He told all the kids the different types of sharks and how to distinguish them, and he actually started to make more friends than he had before”
She’s got her phone extended across the table — Ellie, Dina, Jesse and Mel huddled together and watching — scrolling through the various posts, pulling it back for a second only to show them a photo she’d had saved to her favorites since last month.
“And, look—  I know it’s just a Mother’s Day card, we all got carbon copies, but she knows how I get and when I got it she told me about how the whole time he was making it, Lev couldn’t stop talking about me. Like she knew how much that was gonna make my day… What?” Her gushing comes to an abrupt stop, brow raised when she spots Ellie and Dina smirking. Beside them, Jesse is looking at his caramel macchiato with raised brows, wide eyes and like he’s trying to force his face to stay straight.
“What, assholes, are you gonna tell me you all got the same line?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest with a huff.
“Oh, no. We didn’t get nearly the same amount of attention as you did, Ab” Dina says pointedly, though she can hear the held-back laughter and smile as she speaks.
“What are you—” Abby starts, but Ellie is already taking Abby’s phone and scrolling to the second picture, the one of the inside of the card. She turns the phone back to Abby, but all Abby sees is the inside message and Lev’s ‘signature’ (aka his crayon scrawls which extend across both inside pages).
She looks at her friends, brows raised and a clueless look upon her face. “What, did they not write Happy Mothers Day inside yours?”
“Well let me ask the audience,” Ellie deadpans before swinging her lanky body to the side to look at Mel and Owen. “Mel, Owen, what did the Mothers Day card you guys got say on the inside?”
Owen uselessly looks at Mel, whose face is lightly scrunched in thought. “Happy Mothers Day, from… And then kiddos name, why?”
Ellie’s head rolls to the side, a look on her face that says ‘See! Told ya so’ and Abby quickly snatches her phone from the auburn haired woman’s grip before she can show her card off to the rest of their friends.
Looking at the picture again, brows furrowed as she reads: Happy Mothers Day to the best mom. Lots of love followed by Lev’s signature. It’s your handwriting, she’s learnt it by now from the few notes you’ve had to pass in regards to weekend activities for the kids and such nearby you’d recommended to her one night. In fact, it looks like your best handwriting, like you made sure each letter was perfectly legible.
Abby looks up at her friends, suddenly feeling like a teenage girl again. “S-So what, you think—”
“She wants you” Manny cuts in, laughing once again. “I’m reading that right, aren’t I?” he adds after a moment, looking at the rest of their friends.
“Okay, people who actually know Y/N, can I get a raise of hands who think she.. Might like me” The words aren’t fully out of her mouth before five hands rise in quick succession, Mel reaching over to her baby sleeping on her husband's chest and raising her hand too.
The baby’s hand being raised is what really makes Abby feel like she’s being mocked by her friends, if she’s completely honest. “Okay, couldn’t have said anything sooner, assholes?”
“Abby, how are you one of the smartest women I know and simultaneously, the stupidest?” Nora asks lazily, her tired eyes only brightening with humor. Abby didn’t know how she was even here given she’d only finished her double at the hospital at six am, and despite her many attempts Nora won’t come work for her at the clinic. Something about not wanting to use influence to get a job she didn’t earn. Bullshit, she was Abby’s friend and an incredible doctor.
“One time I picked up JJ late, before you had Lev there. She was nice and all, but I was out of the door in, like, two minutes. Took me until I had him at home to realise she’d practically herded me out of the door as she did handover.” Jesse recounts, his lips pressed together tightly as he tries not to smile. “Just saying, she can get parents out quick when it's late. So why do you think she’s havin’ these big, long conversations with you each night?”
Abby’s mouth is slightly agape, stunned being one way of describing how she feels. She’d spent so long sure her crush was silly, unreciprocated. But had she been so focused on herself and concealing it that she hadn’t bothered to look and see if maybe it wasn’t just her who felt that way.
She’s off in her own head, brows scrunched up in deep thought — replaying every interaction, every touch you’ve both shared — when Mel nudges Owen. “Hey, isn’t that…”
Every head at their table turns to look at the coffee shop counter where you stand, oblivious to the audience you’ve now earned, ordering coffee. “Yeah, that’s Y/N. Must be on her break, damn… I wish I worked on Main, practically next door” Dina whispers, as if you might hear them.
“Guys, stop looking at her” Abby hisses, averting her eyes to her coffee in front of her and hoping her friends don’t garner your attention with their stares.
“Ah, I get it. She is pretty, I see why you’re so wound up by her now” Manny throws an arm over Abby’s shoulder, pulling her strong shoulders in close and giving her a squeeze. Then, with a tone of finality, “I want to talk to this girl.”
Her blue eyes widen, head shaking side to side as she looks from Manny to the rest of her friends. “Absolutely not” 
But Dina is already calling you over, saying your name so sweetly with her hand beckoning you over. Abby can see your eyes widen with surprise and your cheeks go rosy, seeing such a large table of people apparently wanting your attention. But Abby’s sure when your eyes fix on her, even if it was for a moment, you seem to relax just a little bit.
“I’m going to kill you guys” Abby hisses though a smile at her friends before you get close enough to hear, but none of them take any notice and instead focus on you.
You stand awkwardly, not quite knowing what to do with your hands and, in the end, deciding to cross your arms over loosely. Abby’s eyes drift over to your arms as you do so, spotting dried orange paint on your skin and something glinting, most likely culprit being glitter. 
“Hey everyone, didn’t expect to see you guys until tonight” Despite your awkwardness, your humor is still solid and you don’t sound nervous at all. But you can’t help your eyes from wandering to Abby, to the sight of her with her hair loose in front of you.
It’s new, at least to you, and it kinda makes you breathless. Abby’s beautiful always but with her hair straight and down it’s just.. Different. “Hey, Abs” you shoot a small wave her way, Abby returning it with a small, warm smile.
“We try and catch up for coffee as a group at least once a month, especially with our workaholics.” Dina is quick to take the lead with the conversation, leaving Abby to want to sink into her chair and hide. “We were actually just discussing the kids crafts and you guys outdid yourselves with Mothers Day this year. Seriously, mine’s framed on the mantle”
There’s that blush at your cheeks again, one Abby wants to see again. Except she’s picturing a very different way of putting it there, one she probably shouldn’t be thinking of at a table full of her friends. Or in public.
She can’t help but wonder if you’re realising that they’ve realised a difference in their cards versus hers. Had you even meant to do it, was it unintentional but still.. With some sort of meaning behind it.
“Oh, this is Nora and Manny — they don’t have kids so you won’t know who they are but—”
“Actually,” you interject, cheeks darkening further as you do. “I think I recognise the names. Manny… Emanuel Alvarez and Nora Harris?”
Their surprise on their faces must be clear cause you're quick to finish, “You’re on Lev’s paperwork as emergency contacts, I make a point to memorise names and numbers for the kids in my group.”
You can’t see but Dina is smirking at Abby, mouthing the words ‘I told you so’. Her wife, beside her, has to bite her fist to stop from laughing. 
“Well now I feel terrible for not knowing anything about you, sit! Join us while you wait for your drink” Shit, Abby knows that voice. That’s Manny’s charming voice, the one he uses when he’s trying to talk a girl into bed or get what he wants in some other way. She’s heard it way too many times back in the day at the Tipsy Bison.
Worse, it works but maybe it’s actually the rest of the group's encouragement that makes you sit on one of the free chairs with them. “So, daycare. Sounds like you’ve very nurturing, from what my friends tell me. They make you sound like God's gift to daycare. Tell me, do you have children of your own, a husband?”
Subtle, Manny. Subtle.
You huff out a laugh awkwardly, jaw twitching as you try and find words. “No, I don’t. To both”
“No? Wife then? Partner? Hey, we’re waving all kinds of flags with this group” Abby briefly considers whether or not using the laminated menu to stab her eyes out would put her out of the misery which is Manny trying to… Wingman? For her.
“Uh, sadly no” Yeah, Abby can see the regret in your eyes for agreeing to sit with them. But she can’t seem to care at this moment, sitting up a little bit straighter when you say the word sadly. What does that mean, you wish you had a wife? Did you have someone in mind? C’mon Manny, ask more questions!
Like the cat that got the cream, his smile curls at his lips. “Ah, I see. You got your eye on anyone?”
Your eyes glance at Abby, her hair catching your attention for the fourth time since you’d been called over. It looked so long, so silky. You wanted to run your fingers through it, braid it for her. You shake out of that thought, breathing out finally like you’d forgotten to. “Uh, maybe, Jackson isn’t really—”
“Iced Latte for Y/N” Saved by the bell, or the barista in this case. 
“Shoot, I better go, but I’ll see most of you later tonight for collection. Have a nice day you guys!” They watch as you practically speedwalk to the counter and out of the coffee shop towards the daycare.
After a few moments of silence, Jesse is the one to break the silence. “Did Manny just scare our kids daycare teacher off by asking if she was married right from the get go?”
“Might have also had something to do with us all staring at her like creepy dolls” Ellie says around the rim of her coffee cup before gulping down the last of her coffee.
Manny puts his hands up in mock surrender, “At least we confirmed—”
But Ellie is quick to cut him off, “What, that she’s a girl kisser? Good going, genius, you could tell that by looking at her.”
“Pretty sure it was obvious when she gave us a group hello and Abby her own one” And as much as she doesn’t want to, she’s gotta say her ex-husband does have a point.
Abby spends the rest of the time the group remains at the cafe over-analyzing each look you gave her, every reaction you had, every word you said until it’s time to go home and rush her chores.
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“I’m telling you, it was, like, the world’s scariest version of ‘meet the parents’ except it was all her friends and they were all parents of kids I was building a megablocks tower with ten minutes later.” You’ve pretty much sank yourself into the cushions of the old, worn sofa in the staff room, recounting your break to your friends and colleagues hours later on your lunch break. “Have you guys ever played Resident Evil, or seen it? That family from Biohazard? It was like that except they obviously weren’t rotting… Or evil”
Around you your colleagues laugh, namely because a majority of them are working mom’s in their early to late thirties who have no idea what you’re talking about.
“Okay, understandably creepy” Cat, one of your only colleagues close to your age, says as she scrapes the sides of her yogurt pot. “Still, objectively funny”
“So, you’re comparing getting called over by the good doc’ and her friends to meeting the parents, huh?” One of the older women, Caroline, butts in before you can respond to Cat. Her words make you wish the sofa would consume you, if only to hide the blush you knew had to be visible at this point.
It became public knowledge amongst the staff about your crush on Abby, pretty much from the start. You didn’t need to say anything, everyone sort of picked up on it easily, and suddenly it was as if you didn��t need to race to be the first to speak to Abby. No, they made sure they were busy as soon as they saw her walking into the room. 
And when you suddenly started staying late to do the closes each night and starting your shifts early to talk to her in the mornings? They let you with minimal teasing. Minimal but still humiliating. Your manager told you they wouldn’t always be able to pay you for the overtime you were doing but, in all honesty? Talking with Abby, hanging out with Lev and Yara? It didn’t feel like working. It felt right.
Sometimes you imagined it when you were at home, in your tiny apartment that felt empty more times than not. You imagined some cozy home, curled up on a sofa, the four of you like a family in a living room surrounded by bookshelves. Not only filled with the sci-fi and classics you’ve heard Abby mention she’s reading in passing but your fantasy and romance ones, the bottom shelves for the kids books. 
Imagining making breakfast, kissing Abby on the cheek before she heads out to work. Getting to see her come back from the gym, muscles strained and sweaty. You’d seen her once leaving the gym when you’d had a Wednesday booked off and the sight of Abby post-workout was enough for you to bite your fist and file the image away for later, but now your thoughts are just of easing her onto the couch and giving her a massage to ease the knots in her back.
You kind of missed when your crush first started, when your daydreams were all heated. How you’d fantasised about Abby’s form, of her manhandling you and licking into your mouth like she was starved. Of wrapping that beautiful, infuriatingly neat braid around your fist as Abby devoured your cunt, chin glistening and messy as she laps at your folds. Those were the fantasies that decided to reappear in your mind every time you saw Abby in the beginning, ones you’d have to bite your lip and try not to think of as she spoke.
Now? Now you’re straight up yearning and it’s a pain.
You huff out a sigh, ignoring the gentle, teasing laughter of the group of women. “It’s not funny, it was like I was being interrogated and all while she was sat there — not saying anything, mind you — with her beautiful, blonde hair out of that braid she always wears and I just wanted to… I don’t even know. God, is it bad if I say I just wanted to play with it? Is that a new level of sad?” There’s a pout at your lips as you sigh and Caroline reaches over to ruffle your hair, cooing softly in that motherly way she does.
“They’re sizing you up, Hon’, why else y’think they’re askin’ if you got anyone warming y’bed?” Arlene, another one of the older women, says softly. She’s stabbing her fork at some sad looking salad she’s put together but doesn’t seem all that interested in. “Betcha whole tab at the Bison she likes ya back and they’re fishin’ for her”
God, you wish. You thought you’d had a chance, the first time you’d met Abby but now you were pretty solidly aware you couldn’t be her type. Still, the thought makes your heart race.
“You’re forgetting one crucial fact: she’s not into women, ‘Lene. Has a whole ex-husband and everything” You groan out the word ex-husband like it did something personally offensive. She’d only mentioned the man briefly, no name or description but you cursed the man on a daily basis for letting a woman like Abby go.
“Whose to say Comp-Het didn’t have something to do with that” Cat mumbles, causing Arlene to lean over asking “Com-what?”
Caroline sucks in a breath, making a noise of disagreement. “I don’t know… Just cause she’s got an ex-husband don’t mean she can’t like women, or what if she likes both? You don’t know why their marriage ended, what if she realised the only cock she wanted was on the end of one of those strappy things?”
You’re groaning, head held in your hands at that comment while Cat cackles loudly. Her laugh can most likely be heard in all the classrooms and you have to reach over to smack her to get her to stop. You will not be dealing with cranky toddlers ‘cause a conversation about strap-ons of all things woke them up.
“Now I know I’m old and I don’t wanna get myself in trouble,” Arlene starts, causing you and Cat to glance at each other in silent dread. As the only two queer people on the daycare staff, neither of you knew where this could go. “But I always figured when you looked like that you kind of had to be a Lesbian. There’s takin’ care of your body and then there’s runnin’ for the Lumberjack Qualifiers, darlin’, you know?”
Cat makes a noise as if weighing up her answer, “No, sadly, straight women can be buff. It’s fucking cruel cause then we get baited but there’s no rules”
Arlene nods as if she’s digesting the information then turns to look at you with determination. “I still say her friends were checkin’ into you for her, not that you ain’t obvious about your lil’ crush on her and everything but what if she thinks you’re not into her?”
“Yeah, that Dina — JJ’s mom — she’s a tricky girl, bet the reason Dr. Anderson was so quiet was ‘cause they called you over before she knew it. I’m telling you, she was probably talking about you and got all shy cause her friends were embarrassing her”
You sit up at that, finger pointed at the older woman. “Okay, firstly— I am not obvious, I actually make a point to be extremely professional and only go all starry eyed after she leaves.” 
“Keep tellin’ yourself that, Sweetheart”
“And Secondly….” Your mouth hangs open for a second, not quite sure what else you could say to argue. The thought of Abby being flustered in that moment? It made your heart race with excitement. Cruel, cruel excitement. “If.. If you’re right, what do I.. What’s next? I can’t exactly ask her out, she’s a parent—”
Your manager's voice calls out from her office, right across from the door to the staff room. “Yes you can, as long as there’s no favoritism, favours or inappropriate behaviours that would reflect badly on the setting.” She says it in the familiar bored drawl you’re used to hearing from her, your eyes wide at the thought that even your manager is invested in your love life.
Around you, your colleagues are all trying to stifle their laughter.
Cat stands up, taking her trash to the garbage as she speaks. Shit, if she’s going back then you’re due back soon too. “You talk to her enough in the morning and at night, you can’t find a way to ask her out to coffee one day or something?”
“What, ‘Hey, I know you employ me for a service to care for your kid but do you maybe wanna go on a date with me, winky face?’”
“Yeah sure, but maybe don’t say winky face out loud” If it wasn’t frowned upon, you’d be throwing all of the sofa cushions at your friend right now.
“It doesn’t have to be a date, sweetheart. You could always ask her to hang out as friends first, then see how she is outside of these four walls.” Caroline adds as you stand, tossing the remnants of your own lunch in the garbage.
You’re nodding slowly as you leave the room, trying to convince yourself that the idea isn’t a bad one that could go horribly, horrifically wrong and end with Abby avoiding you forever. You glance at the clock in the room when you get back, only five more hours until you see Abby to see if you’ll actually do it.
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Abby makes sure she’s early tonight, not just ‘cause it’s a Wednesday and she has the ability to do that but because she can’t be alone with you in that room without bursting into flames. The longer she had to dwell on your run in with her and her friends this morning, the more she wanted a zombie apocalypse to start so the undead could rip her apart. That might be more painless than seeing how uncomfortable her friends and their questioning might have made you.
Her mission is simple: get in, get Lev, get out. Try to avoid potentially seeing you look at her with disgust or any lingering weirdness. Maybe look into Witness Protection, see if they have exceptions.
She feels like luck is on her side, three other parents in the room and staff all busy talking to them. She can see you off in the corner, talking to another parent and unaware of her presence. Maybe she can keep it that way, just long enough to get the attention of another member of staff to let them know she’s taking Lev and make up some story about how they’re in too much of a rush to do a full handover.
Speaking of Lev, where the hell is her son? She can’t see him in his usual places, the construction area or the water tray. He’s not in the book corner, surprisingly, nor is he in the home corner like he had been that night Abby got caught in the rain.
She’s about to start panicking, blue eyes wide as she scans the room when she sees a familiar head of hair. Fuck, mission obstacle — He’s clinging to your legs, his toy giraffe clutched under one arm while his other is looped around your calf, his head rested against your knee. 
Damn it, thwarted by her own kid. She’d even gone to the lengths of calling in Manny for babysitting duties so Yara wouldn’t complicate her ‘get-in-get-out’ plan but all of it had gone out of the window when Lev decided to attach himself to you like a keyring.
Abby sighs, hands awkwardly going into the pockets of her jeans as she waits for you to notice her. Luckily, since Abby is no longer actively hiding from you, she’s quickly spotted. You hold up a finger, signalling to her you’ll be a moment and bend down to whisper something in Lev’s ear. His tired eyes look up and then brighten when he sees Abby, a shout of “Mama!” from his tiny lips before he’s sprinting across the room.
Abby’s quick to squat down and scoop him up, watching as he rubs his eyes with tired fists. “Tired, Goober? Should we go to sleep early tonight?” 
Despite his eyes being closed and one fist still rubbing at one, he shakes his head. “Still want my books, mama”
You must have wrapped up with the other parents in the short amount of time Abby’s had Lev cause suddenly you’re there, and even with the room being lively with other kids and other adults Abby can’t help but feel like all that noise quietens when you appear.
“Hey, Abs” You sound oddly shy, so unlike you and it makes Abby’s heart race. She thinks back to the conversation she and her friends had earlier this morning about how they all thought you might like her back and damn how she wants that to be true. 
She manages to say a hey of her own, awkwardly sounding it out and somehow making it sound apologetic. “Seems busy in here, surprised you were able to do anything with this one clinging to you like a koala. I would’a picked him up earlier if I knew he was tired, you could have put something on the app. I don’t mind”
You shake your head, reaching up to give Lev a soft stroke on his face as he nuzzles into Abby’s chest. Abby already knows he’s either gonna fall asleep on her like this or on the car ride home. “It’s fine, honestly. Wouldn’t survive in this job if you weren’t used to tired kids attaching themselves to you”
You do the normal handover, giving Abby all the information about his day, meals and toileting before there’s a pause. This is where you’d both naturally fall into conversation, where you’d share something personal like an interest in books or, in Abby’s case, whatever documentary she’s watching this week.
But no, silence. Awkward silence, like neither of you want it but you both also don’t know how to end it.
“I’m sorry!” Abby says abruptly, then mentally slapping herself in the face cause she knows she could have eased into saying that. “You know, about my friends… This morning? They’ve got no sense of boundaries and they shouldn’t have started grilling you like that. It was… It was weird, I’m sorry”
Your mouth hangs slightly open, eyes a little wide like you didn’t expect her to say anything about it, which makes Abby wish she didn’t but there’s not much she can do about that now.
“No, no—  it’s, uh.. It’s fine, not the first time parents have inquired about my personal life, won’t be the last.” 
“Still, there’s boundaries. They—  We shouldn’t have cornered you like that. I’m sorry, especially about Manny.”
The only thing that stops Abby from continuing her nervous apology spiel is your light laugh as you look at her, bottom lip drawn between your teeth. She can’t help the way her eyes are drawn to the movement, how she wishes it were her teeth your lip was caught by. She looks up just in time to see you catch her staring, which only causes the both of your faces to brighten with embarrassment.
You shake away the nervousness, shrugging casually. “No, seriously it’s fine. Besides, it’s not like there’s much to gossip about in my love life. So they were getting nothing anyway”
“Really?” Abby can’t hide the surprise from her voice, looking you up and down obviously. She couldn’t see why you wouldn’t have anything going on, you were quite possibly one of the most beautiful girls she’s ever seen.
You let out some shaky, nervous laughter as you shake your head. “Really. It’s kind of far and few to find girls who like girls here in Jackson that aren’t already taken or a word I can’t say cause there’s kids around” You let that marinate, watching Abby carefully to see her reaction.
Abby, to her credit, does her best not to react. On the outside, she’s nodding like people do to say I’m listening, continue but on the inside she feels like a teenager jumping up and down on their bed. 
“Plus, work makes it difficult to meet anyone who doesn’t get it so…” You add after a beat, a little awkwardly since you didn’t get a reaction from Abby.
“I get that,” Abby adjusts Lev where he lays on her shoulder, his tiny fingers toying with the end of her braid. She’d put it in her usual style, much to your disappointment, once she’d started stress deep-cleaning the house following your interaction at the coffee shop. “I’ve not had much time to meet anyone the usual ways, always figured once I stopped working at a big hospital and stuff, I’d have time to get back out there again but…”
She had tried after the divorce, she’d had a few casual relationships but those were all before she adopted Yara and Lev. “Plus it’s hard, with the kids. Don’t want to invite someone into their lives who doesn’t get it or who might leave”
Your eyes are on Lev as you let out a wistful ‘yeah’, eyes softening when you notice his eyes fluttering closed. Abby can’t help but watch you, watch as you look at her baby boy with a look she’s only ever seen in herself, in photos captured by friends of her playing with the kids. She wants desperately to believe you’re imagining yourself as that person Abby is waiting for, that she’s not alone in being stupid for you and you her.
“It’d be nice though,” Abby’s voice sounds slightly breathy and her heart is thundering so hard in her chest as she aims for a coolness she knows in this moment she does not possess. “Plus it’d be fun to be able to have the kids going around in a circle of ‘ask your mom’ at some point, you know”
She watches you carefully as what she says finally registers in your head, eyes averted from her gaze but moving up slightly, as if looking at an invisible camera on The Office. A soft intake of breath as you slowly nod, swallowing thickly as you process. “Yeah, pretty sure that’s every queer mom’s right of passage” You say slowly after a moment, a short laugh falling from your lips.
You look like you want to say something else, but your eyes drift to Lev again and soften with a smile. “You should, uh… You should probably head home. Someone’s decided to call it a night while we were here yapping”
Abby cranes her neck to look down at her son, softly snoring against her chest and leaving a nice wet patch of drool on the neckline of her t-shirt. “Guess I should…”
Awkwardly, she tries to toss his backpack over her shoulder but it’s difficult to get it to stay without jostling Lev. She freezes slightly when she feels you start to help, your soft hands against her skin as you position the backpack so it will stay. She could have swore your hands linger, as it tracing the muscles in her arms before you let go of her.
“See you tomorrow?” Abby mumbles as she leaves, feeling like her heart is about to race out of her chest. Unknowingly, she leaves you in the same state.
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Later that night, when all the children have gone home and the daycare is getting closed down for the night, Caroline walks by just in time to see you and Cat jumping up and down and around in circles, hands clutched together as you both chant “She’s gay! She’s gay, she’s gay, she’s gay!” excitebly over and over.
You may have chickened out of asking Abby out on a date, or even to hang out as friends, but there was still some cause for celebration. “Whole tab at the Bison, huh?” she calls to Arlene when she appears behind her a second later, the manager beside her. The older woman grumbles, but her motherly smile is beaming at you and Cat. “That girls gonna be drinkin’ like a fish on your card, that’s for sure, ‘Lene”
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Abby should have known something was up the moment she got three separate messages all relating to going out to the Tipsy Bison on Friday night. It started casually late Thursday morning during a lull between patients, opening the groupchat to see Dina’s message.
[ Dina ] :   Guys we should get sitters and go to the Bison tomorrow, let loose
Simple, casual. Nothing she found suspicious, because there was always a message in the groupchat about hanging out. That’s the issue with being a group of friends with young kids, you can say you want to make plans until your throat goes dry but actually getting said plans out of the groupchat? Practically impossible, especially if they don’t involve aforementioned kids.
Abby expected this to be the same, and maybe she should have questioned it when later that night the groupchat exploded with sudden interest from everyone. It was strange, how this one night everyone seemed able to commit to plans with barely twenty-four hours notice but Abby just shrugged it off. She didn’t confirm or deny if she was going, phone left open in her hand as she falls asleep on the sofa that night.
It definitely should have been suspicious when Jesse shouts her name during drop-off in the morning, catching Abby just before he drops JJ in as Abby’s about to leave, and asks if she’s going with them. 
“No, sorry, can’t. Wouldn’t have been able to book a sitter so last minute even if I tried” Abby shrugs, waving her friend off. And yet, somehow she still ends up in the dimly lit bar later that night, Dina’s mischievous smirk being kissed off her face by her wife. 
Abby’s still not sure how she ended up being talked into coming, or how Joel Miller ended up stuck babysitting not only his step-grandson but Abby’s kids as well; All she knows is Jesse walked away and she was left dazed and confused, like she’d just entered a deal with the devil.
They’re all stood at the bar with the exception of Mel and Nora who were saving their seats at one of the few round tables in the bar big enough to fit the size of their group. Manny’s buying the first round, which translates more to flirting with the new bartender. At least, she’s new to Abby — It’s been a while since she’s been out drinking like this, most nights when she needs a stiff drink she just curls up with scotch after putting the kids to bed.
Abby can’t help but feel like there’s a certain energy though that falls over the group, a weird layer of excitement and deception but that may be because Dina has a devilish smirk on her face and it’s been directed at Abby since they stepped foot into the bar.
“Okay, what’s your damage tonight?” Abby finally asks when the group return to their table, sitting with her back to the bar trays in hand with the amount of drinks Manny decided to order in this first round. Abby’s already picturing herself on a liquid IV just looking at the tray solely holding shots. She has to shout to be heard, the music loud and the bar crowded, voices overlapping
It’s addressed to the table as a whole but Dina, ever the ringleader, takes the bait first. “What? Can’t a girl be excited we’re all out for once. Drinking.”
Abby narrows her eyes as she reaches her hand out to grab a shot, looking around at the group. It’s not just Dina who makes her suspicious now, it’s everyone. Manny, for the most part, is quiet — which is worse. She can see Nora and Mel whispering back and forth in each others ear and she’d try and force Owen to tell her what they’re saying, but he’s got that far off look in his eyes she recognises as him straight up disassociating while he downs his shot and then chases it with his beer of all things.
“No, no. You’re being weird,” she shouts again, crossing her large arms over her chest as she leans forward to glare at them all closer. “What are you guys up to?”
“Nothin’, nothin’, can’t a group of people go out and drink on a Friday night without a reason?” Ellie shouts across the table, leaning on her tattooed arm while Dina strokes the skin idly. “Just cause we had kids doesn’t mean we can’t—”
“Abby, next rounds on you! You should go to the bar and grab them, grab them now” Dina suddenly cuts in, eyes unfocused and staring off behind the blondes head, causing Abby to look around the table at everyone’s still full drinks.
“How about when we’ve actually started drinking them” She deadpans, confused at the urgency in which Dina said it. Dina has a smile on her face, nodding like she agrees, but Abby can see her tells; the twitch at her cheek as her jaw grinds slightly, the way her eyes widen slightly as she tries to think of how to get what she wants. Her eyes glance around the table, making eye contact with each and every one of them and like dominoes falling, everyone picks up their glasses and tries to subtly start drinking faster.
“Okay, what the hell guys?!” The exasperation in her voice is clear as she throws her hands up in the air, looking around at the group. “I’ll still buy the damn drinks but this isn’t college, we don’t have to drink so much so fast”
“I just think the bar is pretty busy, going now might mean you’ll make it back in time for when we are finished?” Mel throws a soft smile Abby’s way, her eyes glancing behind Abby’s head every so often towards the bar, clearly trying to placate her. Sure, it was busy but it was a Friday night and pay-day weekend. It was bound to be, but it still wouldn’t warrant Abby needing to go back to the bar when all their drinks were barely touched.
“I’ll still be back before you guys finish your drinks if I leave when you’re half-way though them, quit chugging them” She makes the point of picking up her own beer and drinking it slowly, savouring the taste and looking at all their friends. In front of her Dina, eyes still off behind Abby’s head sighs with annoyance and sags into her chair, eyes tracking something off to the side. Ellie’s quick to pull her in by the shoulder, murmuring into her ear something Abby wouldn’t be able to hear even without the noise of the bar.
Owen changes the subject then, lessening the weird tension that’s in the air, by complaining about work. He works as a Sheriff’s Deputy in town but ever since Mel had their second kid, he’s been on permanent desk duty. Somehow, for the deputies that don’t get out once in a while, they’re filled with drama. Manny recounts how a patient was trying to get his number this morning, which everyone ignored as the usual Manny flirt-parade until he added that she was eighty-two and had three husbands under her belt. 
Finally, when everyone's drinks seemed reasonably half-drunk, Abby stands without saying anything to go and order but she’s quickly stopped by Jesse. “Uh, no sweat, Abby. Dina was just jerkin’ ya around. I’ll get the next round, you just… Stay here”
Okay, back to weird.
In front of them, Nora is nodding like she thinks Jesse has had the greatest idea ever, Ellie and Dina talking over each other to get Abby to sit back down. For a group of people who seemed so determined to get Abby to the bar no less than twenty minutes ago, they seem desperate to keep her at the table now.
“Nu-uh, you guys were practically chasing me over there a while back. I’ll cover it now, b’sides — I’m probably gonna call it a night after another round or two. It’s been a long week” She’s turning around before anyone can stop her, Jesse’s hands trying and failing all too late to keep her fixed facing the group. She doesn’t notice anything at first, half expecting the bar to be on fire or gremlins doing some Coyote Ugly shit on the bar.
She walks towards the bar, through the crowds of people stood where the makeshift dancefloor and the seating meets when she sees something out of the corner of her eye. Her friends think she’s missed it, that they’re in the clear, but no. She’d recognise you anywhere.
It’s like time goes still, like someone threw a blanket over a speaker to muffle the noise of the bar. The music seems to quieten in her ears, people seem to go slower as she watches you. More specifically, watch you and Cat.
Your head is thrown back as you dance, back pressed against the other woman's chest as you both dance together. There’s drinks in both your hands, but Cat still has her free one resting casually on your hip and you seem so carefree and happy, it can’t be the first time you’ve done this.
Abby’s blue eyes unfocus slightly, looking off behind you and the sound of rowdy laughter cuts in, the noise of the bar suddenly coming back to her as she realises the rest of your coworkers are also there. There’s two older women cheering the two of you on as you look like you’re grinding your ass back against Cat’s crotch.
Right. Of course. You didn’t… You didn’t like Abby, why would you like Abby when Cat was clearly…
Abby turns to look back at her friends, already trying to figure out a way to get the hell out of the bar without making them aware but she knows she can’t do that when the first thing she sees is varying looks of pity and apology on all their faces.
They’d seen. Oh god, that was why they were trying to keep her at the table. Abby’s not sure how she has the strength to but she slowly walks back to the table and slumps down into her chair, crestfallen.
She’d been so sure you liked her, or, at least, she’d gotten her hopes up that you might just like her as much as she likes you. And after you’d both not-so-subtly confirmed to each other that you did both like girls, she thought surely that was also a point in the Y/N-likes-Abby-back column but after that display?
“Shit, I’m sorry, Abs. I didn’t— I knew they were all comin’ to the bar tonight but if.. If I knew she was gonna.. That she and Cat.. I would’ve—” Dina’s apologetic voice comes quick down Abby’s ear, the other girl having appeared suddenly and quickly over her shoulder and comforting her in a hug Abby didn’t ask for or particularly want, but allowed nonetheless.
After a moment, Abby takes a short breath and smoothes her face into a mask of calmness. She will not break down at the bar, she’s a grown-ass mother of two. She is much too old for that, especially when it’s over a crush. “I think I’m gonna head to the bathroom a sec.”
Abby doesn’t wait for an answer before she’s up and out of her chair, walking in the opposite direction and towards the dingy women’s bathrooms before anyone can stop her.
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There’s a pleasant buzz in your system, that familiar state of officially drunk but just barely as you move around on the dance floor. The Tipsy Bison is relatively busy, but that’s more to do with it being payday weekend and the only bar on main street rather than actual preference. You don’t mind though, whatever gets liquor down your throat after a long week is good — especially when it’s not you that’s paying.
That’s the funny thing, you look at a group of daycare teachers and expect them to be saints, yet here they all are. A group of seven women, four of which in their early fifties feeding shots down your throat and egging each other on as you drunkenly dance with each other. It is a celebration though, as it’s not every day you discover the girl you like might like you back and that you actually might have a shot, especially in Jackson. That’s why she accepts the heavy handed drinks from Arlene like a birthday girl on her twenty-first.
The music is normally ass in here, Seth’s usual playlist a total bore but there’s a new bartender he hired that actually seems to enjoy variety in music, so when you and Cat heard a song you were both actually fans of and recognised you were pulling each other on the dance floor. You were both drunk enough, courtesy of Arlene, to not care about your surroundings and dance like you’re both at a big city club. 
Cat’s arm is thrown over your shoulder, pulling your back against her chest as you both clumsily grind against each other to the beat of the song but you’re also both laughing and singing along, trying your best to not spill your drinks on the floor and make a sticky mess. 
Your dancing is too close, but you two have never been more than just friends so it doesn’t feel like there’s anything wrong with it, especially since there’s nothing that feels right about it that way. 
Abby on the other hand?
You could imagine how good it would feel to dance with her like this, although you both might be a little too grown up to dirty dance in a club like this. But the thought of it is nice. Your back against her chest, her sexy toned chest rubbing up against her abs and her tits? You bite your lips at the thought of it, of her hands wandering across your body.
Okay, not thoughts to have while your ass is pressed against your friend. You take a moment to reassess, suddenly very aware of your bodily functions.
Spinning around, you giggle drunkenly as you look at Cat. “Gotta hit the stalls, forgot how much I was drinking. If I’m not back in fifteen, send a rescue party — might be consoling a drunk girl”
She gives you a thumbs up and you make your way towards the toilets, but out of the corner of your eye you see two familiar faces. You can’t stop yourself, way too friendly when intoxicated as you skip along to the bar to see Dina and Mel as they buy a round.
“Fancy seeing you two here,” You say playfully but your enthusiasm is curbed when the two women's faces look less than impressed with you. You might be drunk but they don’t normally look at you like you kicked a puppy, do they? “We’re just out for drinks for payday, you two doing the same?”
You hope if maybe you point out it’s not just you that’s drunk they won’t be as annoyed, but Dina just nods, avoiding eye contact and pointedly tutting under her breath as if your very presence irritates her. Had you done something? Or was it just that detestable that you have a life outside of work? You didn’t think Dina would be that type of parent but there’s always one who surprises you.
Mel takes some pity, pointing to a table near the back as she speaks while Dina just huffs, visibly annoyed. You shift uncomfortably, regretting coming over more and more. “We’re, uh… all out, not something we do very often”
At that your interest piques, ignoring Dina’s attitude towards you. Your eyes are seeking something out, or rather someone, scanning all the heads at the table for a familiar face or a familiar back of the head but you don’t see it. She said all, didn’t she? Where’s Abby then?
As if knowing exactly what you’re searching for, Dina turns to you stern faced and with narrowed eyes, venom in them. “She’s in the bathroom, I’d say to say hi but she’s already seen how busy you were” Her arms fold over her chest and even in your intoxicated state, you can’t help but feel like you’re getting told off by your mom.
Your brows furrow in confusion, wondering when you’ve been busy all night? Did she mean when you helped Arlene and Caroline bring the trays of drinks over to the tables for their rounds? “Huh?”
But they’re gone before you can get a clearer answer, a muttered see ya from Dina before they’re walking away with their own trays of drinks. Your confused look follows them all the way back to their table, watching as Dina and Mel must say something cause suddenly they’re all looking at you. The stares vary from pitying to annoyed and you’re not sure why the feeling hurts.
You stumble away from the bar dejectedly, pushing your way into the bathroom and wincing at the stark overhead lighting. In the main bar area of the Tipsy Bison it’s all low lighting but in here, it’s broken overhead lighting that feels a little too cold in temperature and makes you look sickly no matter how you look really.
The sight of yourself in the mirror is… Well, a sight. Hair messy and slightly sweaty, your skin has a sheen to it too from the humidity you’d barely noticed inside the bar and your makeup — which was applied at six am and barely touched up after the daycare closed in the staff toilets — is also messy, eyeliner smudged under the eyes and lipstick barely there from the drinks. The dulled sound of the bars music makes you feel like you can actually think, which is maybe not the best idea cause your mind is swimming with questions.
What the hell was that? Why did it seem like Dina Woodward-Williams hated you all of a sudden? Matter of fact, why did it seem like a core group of your classes parents — not to mention your crushes best friends — disliked you to varying degrees. And speaking of your crush, what did Dina mean when she said Abby saw how busy she was?
Shit, Abby.
Didn’t she say Abby was in the toilets?
“Abs?” You say tentatively, your voice is rough, from drunkenly shouting over the music all night so everyone could hear you. She might have left, but behind you there is a closed stall.
After a few moments of silence, you hear a huff of breath and see a pair of feet appear under the crack at the bottom of the stall through the mirror. The door unlocks and she appears, looking beautiful and… Her eyes are slightly red, like she’d been crying and you can’t stop yourself as you turn around and move towards her with concern.
You go to reach out but she takes a step back and you… You can’t help but feel the pain of the rejection but you respect it. “Abs, Abby… What’s wrong, are you…”
“It’s.. ‘m fine, Y/N. S’all good” Despite this, Abby’s shaking her head and pushing past to wash her hands, clearly wanting to ignore the elephant in the room that was her crying in the bar bathroom.
“I didn’t realise you guys were here, you should have come over ‘n said hi to us”
“It’s fine, you looked busy… Like you were havin’ fun”
Busy… There’s that word again. Still, Abby doesn’t seem irritated with you the same way her friends did, just.. Deflated.
“Yeah?” Your dopey smile is wide, eyes are too as you stare up at Abby like she’s something of wonder. “You know, on the dancefloor” Abby then adds, words slightly slurred, definitely bitter. You’re not sure why.
“Oh yeah,” Your airy little giggle as you sway tipsily makes Abby want to wrap her arms around you and keep you close for the rest of the night. “Cat and I get a little crazy when something we actually know and can dance like we’re in a club comes on”
“Yeah,” Abby’s own words slur slightly, but even she’s just tipsy as she laughs lowly. Still, she’s hit that level of intoxicated tonight where she’s not even trying to hide her bitter tone. “And there you were a few weeks ago sayin’ somethin’ about barely any girls in Jackson. All along one was workin’ with you”
It takes a moment for you to process what Abby says, your sweet smile falling and brows furrowing in confusion as you shake your head. You move closer to Abby where she stands gripping the sinks. “What?”
“Your girlfriend? Saw you two dancin’ tonight, you seemed… Pretty close”
“Cat?” You ask, your voice small and confused. “Cat’s not my girlfriend, Abs. We’re just friends”
“Not what it looked like t’me, not with her hands all over you ‘n your ass against her”
Suddenly all the air in the dingy bathroom doesn’t feel like enough, not as you stare at Abby as she looks genuinely irritated at what she saw. You can understand it, even when you’re drunk like this you get why she probably thought you and Cat were a thing. You both were a little too handsy while you drank, neither thinking much of it but to an outsider? To someone who (you hoped) liked you watching from across the room?
You move closer to Abby, like a moth to flame, and crowd her up against the sinks with a needy look on your face. Your hands are either side of her, her own almost touching yours as she looks down at you with this intensity you feel yourself melting under. You want to wipe that look of jealousy, the bitterness, from her perfect face.
“Just friends, just drunk. Always get too handsy when the liquor is flowing” It’s said as a joke but your voice comes out too breathy, too soft like you’re trying to coax her into believing you. 
“Her or you?” The words are heavy, loaded, like one answer could mean the difference between Abby snapping. “Both” a beat, then, “You don’t like seein’ Cat’s hands on me?” 
The tension in the air is stifling, your eyes heavy not just with the alcohol but lust as you look up at Abby, mouth slightly agape as you whimper at the dark look in the other woman’s eyes. It’s answer enough about what she thinks of Cat touching you, friends or not.
Your eyes move slowly to where your hands are, moving them slowly up until your fingertips are touching Abby’s thick hands. You can hear your soft panting, feel your heart racing as you ease closer into touching her — even something as innocent as touching her hands making you feel breathless.
When you look back up at Abby, her blue eyes are dark and stormy, locked on your lips and you have to let out a shaky laugh to release some of the tension.
“This why Dina was a bitch to me at the bar?” You ask quietly so only she can hear, even though Abby is the only other person with you in the bathroom.
“Yeah,” Abby’s voice is low, rough and it sounds like pure sex to you in a way no-ones ever has. The kind of gruff voice that makes it sound like she’s parched, desperate and you have to squeeze your thighs together to ease the ache building at your core. “She got wind of your work outing. Wanted to give me a chance to make a move”
Your fingers thread through hers as she starts to speak and once you’ve got your daintier fingers interlocked with her thicker ones, still slightly wet from washing them, your hands both remain either side of Abby.
“Yeah?” Your throat feels thick, words getting caught as you say them from how affected you are. It no longer feels like you’re out in public, just caught in a bubble of yourself and Abby as you lean into her space, legs tangling so a thigh presses between hers.. It’s not just you, Abby’s starting to look equally as wrecked by the sudden proximity between the two of you.
Maybe it’s the alcohol.. Okay it’s definitely the alcohol that’s making you both this reckless. Both your chests are rising and falling quickly, small panting breaths falling from each of your lips as you both teeter on the edge.
“Would you of?”
“You were dancing with her” Abby’s voice is low, her breath hot against your cheek as your faces seem achingly close. You can hear the disgust in her voice when she says her.
Between your thighs you can feel how embarrassingly affected you are by the other woman, by the thought of her making a move on you. What if you'd danced with her tonight, got to feel everything you were thinking of when you danced with Cat.
“I was thinking about you the whole time” The words come out as a whimpered confession, like you were having flashbacks to every sinful fantasy that came to mind as you danced of Abby and you have to bite at your bottom lip to stop from letting out an embarrassing sounding whine.
Of course, Abby tracks that movement almost instantly and you can see her eyes dilating at the sight. Her expression is still dark though and she raises a single brow as she stares down at you, lips so achingly close to yours. “Yeah? Wanted t’be me you were being a little slut for out there?”
That shouldn’t make your heart race and your mouth dry the way it does, slowly your tongue darting out to wet your lips as you pant softly. You had a million ideas of what Abby might be like in this situation, if she’d be a gentlewoman and wax poetic in your ear, a downright tease or if she’d talk dirty, degrade you while making your body light up.
Your eyes are fixed on Abby’s, but they’re heavy lidded with lust and say so much while saying nothing at all. It’s pure need, desperation the way you look at her because yes, you did want it to be her you were grinding against, you wanted it to be her whose hands were on you only so her fingers would ghost across your skin and so you could tease her with your body.
And the best part is you can see it mirrored in her own eyes, see the hunger and the desperation bleeding through. Abby looks like she’s hanging on to her final restraint, the one thing holding her back from jumping you and that desire you see in her? It feels good. It feels good to know it’s not just you, that it’s potentially never just been you that’s wanted this.
You nod up at her over and over, the desperation bleeding out. God, you want her, need her and it feels like pure torture to have her this close finally and not taste her on your tongue.
“God, please let me touch you, kiss you, ‘nythin..” Abby’s voice is wrecked as she speaks and she has that same look of need in her eyes you’re sure is reflected in yours. You’re not sure how you answer, another nod, a whine but next thing you know her lips are on yours and her tongue is sliding against yours, the kiss messy and dirty as your hands go to each other's bodies.
You’ve got your hands all over the place, one fisted in her hair messing up that pristine fucking braid you’ve daydreamed of for months and the other touching her everywhere. It’s against her throat in a light hold one moment, moving down her chest and groping at her small, perfect tits the next. It’s pushing up her shirt and raking the nails against her torso, her abs quivering under your touch, then it’s lower pushing her legs open wider so you can press closer and repeat how it roams.
It’s not just you that’s handsy now either, Abby lets you keep your faces pressed firmly together greedily and takes full advantage of having both hands to explore your body. God, your perfect body. Her imagination did not compare to actually feeling your skin beneath her fingers, feeling each reaction to her touch. How her large hands could hold your tits and grope them easily while you mewled into her mouth, a needy mess (not that she was much better)
“Thought about this f’months,” Abby murmurs, voice low and fucked out, as she breaks the kiss to drag a trail of open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat. Her hand moves to the back of your neck to manoeuvre you enough so she’s got the perfect angle, perfect access to as much skin as she can reach as she leans down. “You’re so fucking perfect”
All you can do is whine, rocking your hips forward so your clothed cunt can drag against Abby’s jean-clad thigh and press your own thigh against her too. “Shut the fuck up, am not. You’re the one… Fucking look at you” The words are said so breathlessly and yet with such adoration, such belief that Abby can’t help but pull her lips away from your neck just long enough to gaze at your face adoringly. The both of you are biting back small noises and clinging onto each other as you both rock slowly against each other.
Abby’s almost shaking with need as your hands slide down to her hips, holding them firmly and forcing her to grind against your thigh. “I-I need you… I need you so bad” Her husky voice whimpers, forehead falling against yours as she feels herself grower wetter in her boxers. It takes everything in you not to moan at how easily Abby has become submissive under your touch, how quickly she’s started to become lost under the pleasure. 
Not that you’re doing much better, eyes rolling shut as you move against Abby’s thigh and feel the drag of fabric against your clit. You’re nodding softly, hand coming up to her jaw to capture her in another tender but hungry kiss, half-devouring her as she whines into your mouth. Your hand is sliding down to her jeans, fingers unbuttoning them when the bathroom door slams open. You both pull apart slightly, eyes wide in shock and embarrassment and skin flushed as you’re caught dry humping each other against the sinks by Cat.
Cat who doubles over with laughter when she sees the two of you, clutching onto the hand-dryer for support only to accidentally turn it on. “You said come and get you if you were long” she shouts over the dryer, shaking her head and smirking. “Congrats guys but maybe take this back home so Seth doesn’t go all… Seth on you guys”
She doesn’t even wait for a response, stumbling back out into the bar laughing leaving you and Abby half embraced and feeling like ice water has been thrown on you both. Slowly, nervously, you turn and look back up to Abby. You’re not sure why but now you’ve both been shaken out of the haze of lust and drunken courage you’re worried that maybe, just maybe Abby might be having second thoughts.
“Abby?” Your heart is racing again, lip drawn between your teeth as you worry it. God, what if clarity hit and she’s sobering up enough to realise she doesn’t want this. That you should have never crossed the line. Shit, her kids involved in this, she’s probably already regretting it. You’re visibly spiralling, eyes wide and worried.
Abby’s large hands come down to cup your cheeks, the pads of her thumbs softly brushing against your cheeks soothingly. “Hey, hey, calm down” The words are spoken so gently as she moves the two of you around so your back is to the sinks, and she gently lifts you up so you’re sitting on the counter top. “Talk to me, what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
Fuck, she’s perfect and it only makes you more nervous. You let out a shaky sounding breath, a sad look on your face curtesy of your drunken emotions. “I… really like you, Abby. Like, really really like you a-and I don’t want this to be something you’re regretting, cause I know you’ve got your kids and I get that if you don’t wanna carry on ca—”
Abby cuts you off, shaking her head and looking at you with such a soft, sad look. “When did I say I’m regretting anything? Or that I don’t wanna keep seeing you? Shit, I’ve been thinking about you since I met you so I don’t think I could stop if I tried”
“But Lev and Yara, I don’t wanna make things complicated for you or for them”
“Leave my kids to me, okay? I know what I’m doing, I know what I want. I want you, I’ve been wanting you and I don’t just want you in bed.”
That gets your attention, looking up at her with a hopeful glint in your eye and an excited smile threatening to curl at your lips. “Yeah, really?”
“Yeah, silly. I want you at the dinner table with us, ‘wanna see you on Saturday mornin’s in your pajamas cooking eggs and waiting for the coffee with me before the kids wake up.” Her stupid, beautiful face is lit up with a fond smile. You lean into her touch, her hands still cradling your face as she speaks. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been thinking about you in other ways too but… I’m not regretting this, but if you don’t think you’re—”
“I’m not, I-I mean I’m not regretting this, not that I’m not ready. I want.. I want that too. I want all of it” Laughter spills from both of you at your panicked and nervous babbling, leading into a comfortable silence. It feels like the outside world slowly starts seeping in, the muffled sound of the bar’s music and peoples talking becoming more audible — like the bubble the two of you were in finally popped.
Slowly, Abby moves her hand to brush a stray piece of hair behind your ear and press a soft kiss to your forehead. “What do you say, wanna listen to Cat and get out of here?”
A wide, unapologetic grin is stretched wide across your lips at the thought of leaving with her, of this being real and not just a figment of her imagination anymore. “What, not into people walking in on us kissing, Abs?”
“Not if I can help it.” Easily she kisses you one last time, short but thorough before she’s helping you jump down from the counter top and throwing an arm around your shoulders.  You can still taste her on your tongue as you both pull the bathroom door open and walk back out into the bar, intent on leaving and going home, whoever's home that may be. And if, over the loud music and crowd, the two of you can hear cheering and shouts from both groups of friends, you both choose to ignore it.
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lilacgaby · 9 months ago
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title: i've changed, won't you see?
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pairing: prohero!katsuki x reader
summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.
tags: silent voice inspired!! childhood bully katsuki :(, disabled reader, mentions of violence, angst to fluff, su1cide attempt, comfort, implied nsfw, no proofread
(a/n: i wanted to give my hand at really long works while doing drabbles in between but i have so many drafts now jajsjsj)
wc: ~4k
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your eyes were always blurry around him it seemed. your hands shaking as your voice cracked, just begging him. "please leave me alone!" with all the might a five year old could muster.
they scoffed at you, they always did. "crybaby. blame your parents for not giving you a quirk. you should've moved when i told you to anyways, it's my park dont you know?" katsuki mocked, moving closer to you, noticing the card behind your back.
"stop being so mean! quirkless people don't do anything wrong!"
"quirkless don't do anything."
your chest was heaving with pain, your little heart couldn't take it. "you-- you'll never be a hero, you're too mean!"
in an act of rage, he set off an explosion. it was only meant to intimidate you but..
once the smoke settled your screams of terror filled the playground.
blood dripped on the floor, pooling in your hand as your grasped your ear. a ringing was all you could hear, it was driving you crazy.
were you crying? you couldn't tell, you couldn't hear. your eyes were shut as you were filled with panic, the smell of iron flooding your senses.
but katsuki remembered so much more.
the smell of the burned cartilage of your ear, the sight of it, or rather the lack of. the blood that wouldn't stop coming, why wasn't it stopping?
his group that usually rallied behind him was now gone, leaving him and a wailing you alone. he tried to talk to you, but you weren't responding.
he grew the courage to touch you, tapping on your shoulder slowly, but that didn't comfort you. in fact he thought it made it worse, making you bow your head in a defensive position.
he stared at you, unable to move, he was supposed to be a hero like allmight, were you right?
finally, a teacher came running to get you, an ambulance already on the way. they didn't look at katsuki, only at the pitiful state you were in.
you didn't respond to them either.
katsuki felt sick as he stood where you and the teacher had left them. he felt sick as he looked down to the remains of what he'd done to you.
he couldn't process it yet, but he felt a sickening despair and guilt be placed upon his shoulders.
one that wouldn't disappear.
he wasn't blamed for anything, only getting a quirk consolation. they thought he lost control? his parents eyed him as he tried to explain what had truely happened, he didn't know why he was trying, did he want to get punished?
but even after, nothing was done. with a lecture and a couple promises he was sent back to class with nothing done to him.
your life was changed forever though, it was apparent in the way that you seemed even more quiet and closed off. you sat in the back, never spoke to anyone, and got teary eyed when he even stood close to you.
your hair covered your ears constantly, a hearing aid peeking through the strands occasionally. the teacher never forced you to participate, none of them ever made an effort.
the teacher had explained to the class how you were completely deaf in one ear, and extremely hard of hearing in the other. how you'd use sign language from now on, and that the class would learn some in support. they never did though, the conversation going ignored as soon as it was uttered.
you were pulled out of class often, the teacher having to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. your eyes dejected and your presence small as the person who came to get you made gestures with their hands to you.
you'd been cruelly placed in matching classes 'til your last years of junior high. you'd stayed the same way for forever, it was like a weight placed over his chest.
yet he felt he deserved it. he knew he was messed up. he watched you, a lot. he saw you in the back corners, usually forgotten and ignored. when you were acknowledged you were mocked, people making random hand signs to make fun of the way he forced you to communicate, mocking your unconfident speech right after.
he saw the way you sunk into yourself afterwards, making his heart hurt as you grew impossibly smaller. your hands held your own as you prayed for it to be over.
everytime you'd catch him in the halls, you'd still freeze up. your breath shaky as you bowed and left quickly, making his friends laugh but make him queasy.
that interaction was witnessed by your teacher who, after a day of you not showing up, assigned him to give you your work for the day.
with sweaty palms and a racing heart, he dropped by your house. he knew where it was, of course he did, your mom and his were close industry friends even after the incident.
because you'd never told anyone about what he'd do to you.
he knocked on the door, attempting to seem nonchalant. when you answered though, he felt his heart lurch in his chest.
"[name], uh-- this is your work."
you didn't respond, you looked almost nauseous at the sight of him, it was deserved though.
he placed your work on the floor and walked off, that was the only time he'd spoken to you since the incident,
and he couldn't even apologize.
- - -
U-A wouldn't only be a dream for him, but a release for you both. was it selfish to want to run away from his problems? sure, but it'd help you too.
as everyone in the class exclaimed the names of the schools they picked, unsurprised at katsuki's choice, he pondered on where you'd go.
nobody asked you, so you didn't speak. staying quiet as you looked out the window.
katsuki got accepted into U-A easily, but he couldn't help but feel he lacked the main criteria. he'd hurt people poorly, and couldn't apologize because of his ego.
he felt sick to accept these accomplishments of his, knowing it'd be built up on the foundation of hurting you.
but he did anyway, selfishly. he kept up his harsh demeanor in U-A anyways, working hard and scoring high. he graduated top of his class, job offers to agencies left and right.
he accepted one, working for his old internship officially now. he climbed the ranks quickly, saving lives and catching the attention of the media.
a couple years later, he was a steady number five hero when he took a patrol route over for deku. as he strolled through the city, stores littering the buildings, he saw someone he never thought he'd see again.
you, only now working for your mothers seamstress company. you were embroidering something on the station, hands precise and focused, not noticing him.
he had to keep moving, but.. he made a mental note to come back later.
he finished his patrol anxious, he went to sleep thinking of what he'd even say to you. 'hey sorry for ruining your life, can you forgive me?' he slapped his forehead in frustration.
he searched up basic sign language for beginners, learning a bit. he laughed at the stupid thoughts of your forgiveness that he dreamt of.
"as if i deserve it." he muttered, looking deeply at the ceiling of his room before falling asleep.
as soon as he awoke, he got dressed and prepared. he tried to look causal, as if he wasn't planning this.
he walked in, immediately greeted by your mother who congratulated him on his heroics. "well isn't that dynamite? saving the world i see."
he laughed politely. "i'll be number one soon enough."
"of course! well, what're you looking for? i'll give you a family discount, you grew up so close to [name] didn't you?"
his heart jumped into his throat.
"uh.. we did."
"you two were so adorable! she was so nervous around you, she must've had a crush on you or something!"
"i definitely don't think so."
"oh, you're just being modest." she said, hitting his arm lightly. "there she is now, go and speak to her."
"uh-- i--"
"go!" she shoved him in your direction, making you look up to see him. your lips parted in an unrecognizable expression as you saw him, the line you were working on now crooked as you were left alone together.
it's been about ten years hadn't it? ten years since he last saw you, but a lifetime he needed to apologize for.
he'd learned so much in U-A, outwardly changing his demeanor to what he always aspired to be. but all that meant nothing to you, who only experienced him at his worst.
he awkwardly raised his hand up to you, he did his best to sign while speaking, his hands shaky and unconfident. "hi [name], i'm really sorry about what happened back then."
your eyes followed the movements, your hands absentmindedly wrapping around yourself loosely, defensively.
"i know this is a lot but,
can we be friends?"
he waited anxiously for you to answer, you looking as if you were processing it.
in a grown up, yet timid voice, one that he hadn't heard since you were young, you almost whispered, signing as you did so out of reflex. "thank you, bakugo." your eyes grew watery. great, he just couldn't seem to stop making you cry.
he sat near you after getting wordless permission to, hanging onto every word you spoke, and being mindful to speak in a calm tone himself.
"i.. i'd like a friend, honestly. a new one anyways."
he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you said that, but still, it wasn't enough.
he wanted to, no needed to make you happy. the years of torment he subjected you to couldn't be made up by anything less than years of happiness.
after a bit of small talk, him asking you questions about what you'd been up to, how your life was treating you. he zoned out a couple times, thinking of how beautiful you've become.
"what would make you happy, [name]?" he finally said, his head supported on his hand as he gazed at you, making sure to enunciate his words so you could read his lips.
"what makes you ask?"
"i-- i want to make you happy. no matter the cost, it's what you deserve."
she laughed softly at that, her eyes flickering with an indistinguishable expression. "...i always wanted to travel. around the world, to see mountains and landscapes."
"then i'll take you."
"you don't have t--"
"i do. and ill do more [name], what i did to you was-- is horrible. you know that."
"i..
okay, okay bakugo."
"katsuki."
you smiled, "katsuki."
going from having very limited contact with your only friend from high school, to having a prohero come to your shop everyday was jarring. but not unwelcomed.
he brought gifts with him everytime, learning what you'd like and not. it ranged from food to stuffed animals, flowers to accessories, all of which you really appreciated.
you grew closer, eventually starting to meet outside of your mother's shop. at the park or walking around the mall, he'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. he'd pay for everything too, despite your reluctance.
he kept his word to you, and at the end of the month he asked you to come up to his apartment.
a penthouse.
as you walked in, greeted by the shimmering atmosphere of the expensive furniture and decor all around, abstract paintings and trophies littering shelves on the walls.
you stood by the front entrance, taking off your shoes as you walked in. "katsuki?" you asked, looking around.
he came out, a tiny smile on his face. "ya made it." he had something behind his back, "come in [name]."
the apartment was huge to say the least, it becoming even bigger than it looked from the entrance. he guided you to his plush couch, sitting next to you.
"so, i know you said you dreamt of traveling, right?"
at your nod, he pulled out the tickets from behind his back. "i.. got this tickets for you. i didn't want to push it in case you didn't want me to go with you but--"
you cut him off with a hug, tackling him into the couch.
"of course i want you to come,
katsuki."
you signed his name differently than other times,
you'd finally made a name for him.
he hugged back mindfully, so excited to finally have a huge first step in the right direction.
but he still needed to make you happy. "we'll leave in two days if that's okay, i just wanted to give you time to pack."
"okay, that's good."
"do you.. want to stay?" he asked nervously, the thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth in a millisecond.
you blinked, sitting up on his legs, pondering it over.
"sure, okay."
he put on some movies for the two of you, his heart was racing at the proximity of your body to his.
the night ended with you laid on top of him, fast asleep as he was comforted by the beating of your heart against his. your chest against his, his hand in your hair as your head laid in his neck.
he woke up first, to the sight of the gold light making you look heavenly, your hair messy from how he was playing with it throughout the night. your face was almost against his, he could kiss you right now.
but he shouldn't. he would move but he didn't want to couldn't, so he looked you over. you woke up to the feeling of his fingers caressing your face, your eyes half lidded from sleep.
"'suki. g'morning."
his heart was getting used to irregularly pounding around you at this point. "[name], uh-- hi."
after a couple moments, you got off of him, much to his discontent. his hands sliding down your legs as you got up.
"i'll be going now, i gotta pack and stuff." you said, looking in one of the many mirrors scattered around as you fixed your appearance as much as you could.
he nodded. "let me walk you home at least."
and he did walk you home, hand in hand.
those two nights he spent pondering over you. he didn't know why, but hero work felt much lighter after talking it out with you. becoming your friend was one of the best things he'd achieved in years, and that was including his recent rankings.
he thought back to how he treated you as a kid, had he really just been searching for your validation all along?
is that why it hurt when you told him he'd never amount to his dreams, because he only valued your opinion?
he let himself sleep, he'd see you tomorrow. and he'd make it all right.
he woke up and picked you up at your place, his expensive sports car standing out against the comfort of the neighborhood. you walked out, dressed simply but cute, a bag of your own in hand.
he grabbed it from you and placed it in the back, opening the passenger door for you as he drove to the airport. his hand on your thigh as he did so, letting you play the music you'd like with loud bass.
it was a half hour ride in comfortable silence, he gazed at you occasionally, a thoughtful expression on your face.
on the plane, you sat by the window. it was first class so you'd get to sleep in a physical bed, in a closed room. you were treated to whatever food and drinks you wanted, hugging katsuki when you found out you where you were heading.
the flight was a long eighteen hours, but it was spent hanging out with katsuki. on his lap asking him questions about the shows you two had watched, power scaling arguments about past heroes, fights he'd recently been in.
also what you two planned to do as you were there, you wanted to go to the beaches and mountains, he just wanted to follow you.
you fell asleep together again, your face laid directly in his chest as he held you.
you woke up to katsuki tapping you on the shoulder. as you raised the volume on your aids, you heard the beeping on the intercoms that meant you'd have to go back to your seats for the landing, groggily being helped up by katsuki as he moved you to to your seats.
you sat by the windows, looking at the tropical region as you two landed, your hand still in his. the moments after we're a blur, before you knew it you were in a car being buckled up by katsuki as you were being driven to your hotel.
what you didn't know was that it was a villa, built on top of the waters of the ocean, your very own private beach right outside your doors with the mountains you'd dreamt of treking right behind you.
you'd never been so happy.
the days you'd spent started and ended all the same, you waking up and going to sleep in katsuki's arms. pretending like you didn't notice how your bed hair got worsened after he played with it all night.
the first days you'd spent at the beach, attempting and failing at surfing. your jet lag was killed off by your utter excitement.
you being thankful your aids were water resistant because of how much you loved the waters of the river and the seas.
you'd had a sandcastle competition, sunbathed, and soaked off in the hot tub of your villa together.
the trek's were fun too, katsuki was annoyingly good at everything so you'd have to fight to keep up.
your polaroid in hand as you snapped candid shots of him, turning it to yourself as you got a selfie of you two with the gorgeous rivers as background.
you jumped into those too, making katsuki freak out as you dived in to the deep waters.
you even got to the top one day, jokingly saying that you should've brought a flag to the top to celebrate. the golden hours of the sunset making you glimmer.
a moment of silence passed over you as he slowly approached you, wordlessly asking for permission as you once again put your hands in his.
you leaned in first, kissing him with the sun as witness.
"i really like you [name]." he sighed and spoke after you pulled away.
"i like you too." you replied, hugging him tightly.
the rest of your trip was filled with your firsts with katsuki.
your first official date was in the burrows of the forest, a picnic where you two painted portraits of eachother. albeit, unique portraits... but painting nonetheless.
your first moment truly loving someone, the feeling you recognized as you laid him in your lap for the first time.
your first talk about what happened all those years ago. a deep one.
"[name], before we become something um.. official. we need to talk about how i hurt you." katsuki said one day, laying faced to you but taking your hands into his.
"kats--"
"let me speak. please." after you nodded, he took a breath and began.
"i was egotistical and really insecure all those years. you were the only one who really read me, that's why i think i got so upset.
i didn't mean to hurt you, i never wanted to hurt anyone i swear-- i just hated that you were right.
that weighed over me all these years, the fact that my hero work meant nothing if i was doing it while acting so.. unheroic.
i never fully felt like a hero, not until i met you again.
not until you graced me with your friendship, your undeserved affection towards me. i just-- i really care about you. and im really sorry, ill spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, and you don't have to accept it because i don't deserve it.
i guess what i'm trying to say is..
sorry, and.. i love you [name].
you don't have to--"
he was cut off by a kiss on his lips.
it felt different somehow, he couldn't place it. almost sad in a way as you pulled back.
"i don't think you were trying to hurt me. but, you did.
and you're working to change it, i appreciate that.
i really care for you too katsuki."
the rest of your trip was comfortingly domestic, learning things about each other you'd never know.
your last week was bittersweet, having to leave your jointed paradise was a reality that saddened the both of you. but your dream was fulfilled, and so was his.
seeing that he was the cause of your smiles and not your horror, making you happy was the light of his day. no, his life.
he thinks he was born to make you happy.
the flight back was a blur, you spent it clinging to him. you started to gift him your own things over the hours, a scrunchie of yours, a bracelet for him to keep.
a locket with a photo of you two, and the polaroid you'd taken on the mountains.
"why are you giving this all to me? not that i'm complaining."
"well, you'll get more use out of it. that's all."
he scrunched his face up in confusion, but with a smile you waved off his concerns.
he wished he pushed you more.
he wished that you'd forgive him for failing you once again, as he fought to take the razor blade out of your grip, slicing your hand in the process.
you were in your bathtub, surrounded by water yet fully clothed, tears and wails wracking your body as you just wanted it to be over.
you finally relented, your blood staining his clothes and the water as he picked you up. you couldn't hear him, you'd taken out your aid.
but you could feel his sobs, his tears hitting you as you shut your eyes, embarrassed of what you'd just done.
you were rushed to the hospital and given stitches, you were to be closely watched from your mom now on, you were told by an interpreter.
katsuki's eyes were red, matching his pupils as he looked at you.
he was frustrated, you could see it in the trembling of his fists and the scowl in his mouth. if he hadn't been there.. you would be dead.
why, he asked you. and to be honest, you really couldn't explain it yourself.
when you got home to your apartment, empty and reminding of your reality away from katsuki, you just felt so..
scared. what would happen when he finally got the validation he needed and left you? your whole life was quiet and tranquil, you'd gotten used to it. but he flipped it upside down again, showed you what your life really could be.
it was too much for you. you had to escape, so after sitting on it, tapping your leg anxiously as you pondered your decision, you went on your phone.
you went online and saw his life outside of you, how he had everything going for him yet what did you really have? a mom and a job at her company?
you grew impulsive, grabbing it absentmindedly and filling up the tub with the water you grown to love over the past month.
after you started bleeding, you panicked. what had you just done? but it was too late..
until he saved you from yourself.
you were zoning out. when you didn't answer him, he repeated himself, grabbing the interpreter so you could sign.
but still you said nothing, except a small sorry.
he left afterwards, leaving you alone in the bed to think.
you were back in your childhood room now, your mom having sobbed as she looked over your hands, as she asked you, "what the hell were you thinking?"
you looked at those glow in the dark stars and tried to find an answer, but there was none.
you held yourself to sleep for the first time in months, already missing him deeply.
little did you know, he was thinking about you too.
the next morning you awoke to a knock on your bedroom door. assuming it was your mom, you got up and opened it.
it was katsuki instead, holding a bouquet of flowers and the locket you'd given him.
"can i come in?"
you opened the door wider, leading him to sit on your bed.
"katsuki i--"
"[name]. i don't know why you did what you did.. but i know it probably has something to do with me. so what did i do wrong?" he looked defeated, as if he thought it was his fault you tried to end your life.
"no! no that wasn't it at all. well, it was about you but not like that.
it's just.. i've been alone. for so long? having you around felt.. too good to be true. i didn't want to go back to how i was before. in a way, you were too good for me."
"you're.. an idiot. but i guess i understand."
"i just.. i really love how you treat me. i didn't want it to go away."
a moment of silence passes, a small anxious laugh leaving katsuki's lips.
"fuck, i thought you hated me. could barely sleep without you."
he pulled you into him, staring deeply into your eyes as he pulled you impossibly closer. he kissed you deeply. his worries, passions, and frustrations all poured out into it.
he pulled away, eyes half lidded as he asked gruffly.
"wanna take this back to my place?"
he took your last first away, gentle and loving as he guided you through it. reassuring you that he'd never leave you.
you moved in with him soon after, finding it hard to sleep without eachother, no matter how late he got back to your shared home.
he'd be welcomed back by the sight of you, who always tried and failed to stay up waiting for him. he'd pick you up, like always, and hug you to sleep.
he'd know he woke you up by the feeling of your smile in his chest, the way you tightened you arms around him.
he loved spending every waking moment he could with you. you were right though, he did break up with you after he got your validation.
...
but that's just an odd way to say he proposed to you, vowing to spend the rest of his life making you happy and fufiling your wishes one by one.
he changed not only himself, but the way you see yourself. he changed your relationships with yourselves and eachother for the better,
and as you walked down the aisle, your wedding planned by your two designer parents, being lavish and gorgeous. the silk on the floor being runway to your expensive shoes specially designed for you, the guests in awe of how gorgeous you are.
you both knew, you'd better eachother for better or for worse, for as long as you'd be together.
he signed 'i do', sealing the rest of your lives together,
with a kiss.
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ruusawa · 2 months ago
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₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Mark Grayson pregnant reader headcanons₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
♡➔ he won’t admit it, but he absolutely shit himself when he found out you were pregnant. ♡➔ he was definitely more panicky than you about the happy accident ♡➔ he held your hair back when you got morning sickness (“It’s not morning, why are you puking up?!” he’d ask frantically, the glare you’d reply with would promptly shut him up) ♡➔ he attended every appointment, even if it was just a simple blood pressure and weight check (“you don’t have to come, Mark.” “What do you mean? I’m going to be there every step of the way.” “What if the world ends?” “Sounds like a Cecil problem to me.”) ♡➔ he cried at the scans, seeing the tiny baby inside you was truly magical ♡➔ his phone wallpaper is now the ultrasound, he stares at it all the time ♡➔ he spent hours with his ear pressed to the swell of your stomach, simply listening to the baby inside (super hearing is weird) or just talking to the bump ♡➔ he would recommend names from his favourite comics and shows (“I think Dinah is a great name!” “I’m not naming our baby after a comic book character you have the hots for.”) ♡➔ his hands are always on the bump, he’s able to hold his whole world that way ♡➔ he was so excited when he first felt the baby kick that he started floating (“Mark, come back down,” you’d laugh at him.) ♡➔ sometimes he would look at you, heavily pregnant, and his eyes would get all misty because how amazing are you? Growing a whole new life? You’re incredible. ♡➔ he nearly missed the birth due to a kaiju attack (“I really don’t have time for this!”) ♡➔ he made it before you reached active labour (thank god), he apologised so much for not being the one to drive you to the hospital, he swears there and then he’s not leaving your side for anything at all, he’s here with you and your baby ♡➔ it was simultaneously the best and worst time of his life, because wow, you’ve grown a whole new life and that’s amazing, but oh my god, you’re in so much pain, and he hates that ♡➔ he cried when he saw your baby, full on choked up tears in complete disbelief at how perfect the little bundle in his arms is ♡➔ he’d place the softest kiss on your forehead as your baby is placed on your chest, murmuring how proud he is of you (“You’re the Invincible one today.”) ♡➔ he is on it, you need a nap? Hand him the baby, he’ll wake you when they need feeding. Dirty diapers? Let him do it, you need to rest. Stitches itching? He’s already got ice wrapped in a soft towel ♡➔ he’ll just stare at you when you feed the baby, because wow, you grew that baby. A little bundle of you and him. He looks at you both like you’re the most precious things in the world, because to him, you are. ♡➔ “Hey babe?” You look up from your newborn’s face to Mark, who’s looking at you with the most adoring look you’ve ever seen on his face. “Yeah?” “I want another one.”
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
this was supposed to be dad!mark hcs but the idea got away from me. i'm thinking of turning this into a drabble at some point but i needed to word vomit the headcanons first. i will write girl dad mark one day, i promise!!
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brawberryz · 3 months ago
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⎯⎯ Blind Love
⎯⎯ Jason Todd × Blind! Reader
Note: English is not my first language/ inspired by the manga Veil / M.list
TW / None,i just a little drabble
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Snow fell in torrents through the city streets.
The snow painted the streets a white color, giving life to this dead city.
Your footsteps echoed through the cold city streets like a small tinkling sound.
You stood out among all the citizens, having such a charming yet simple style.
Your cane tapped the ground as you walked slowly down the street.
You were supposed to get to your new apartment, but you were lost, and being blind wasn't much help either.
Maybe you should have asked for a guide, but you wanted to be independent.
You grew up your whole life in a very overprotective family because of your disability, which bothered you.
They treated you like you were made of glass, as if you were going to break at some point.
You were tired of so much overprotection, so you decided to move to a new place.
But apparently you overreacted and ended up moving not only to another city but also to another country.
You were so confident in yourself. You didn't even notice you were lost, and someone like you on the streets of Gotham wasn't the best idea.
You were so distracted by your thoughts that your cane collided with someone's foot, causing you to stop dead in your tracks when you heard a small sound of pain as your cane hit the stranger.
"Ah! Excuse me..."
You said embarrassedly, apparently you ended up colliding with a stranger who was sitting on a bench.
It was only your first day here and you'd already messed up. You apologized several times without letting the stranger speak.
"I'm really sorry, I didn't hurt you, right?"
A small, awkward silence formed between the two of you until the stranger deigned to speak first.
"Don't worry, I've taken worse hits."
He said ironically. You just nodded, still embarrassed, but you could feel the man getting up and you could feel his imposing figure in front of you.
It's not that he's shorter, it's just that he was too tall.
"Wow, you're really tall!" You said without thinking about your words. You were someone who tended to say things without thinking, and that sometimes got you into trouble. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
"No, calm down, it's okay."
Jason noticed from your nod. You weren't from this place. It was easy to spot someone new when they'd spent their entire life in this city.
"Hey, do you know this place?"
You asked suddenly, handing her a small piece of paper with all the information she needed written down, but they seemed to have forgotten that you were blind.
"Oh yeah, sure."
Jason took the paper as he read it, but all he could think about was how a person could stay with their eyes closed for so long.
Those doubts, though, were answered after seeing the cane and how you couldn't read something as simple as this paper.
Noticing that so late made him feel like an idiot.
"You should go straight and then turn left. On your right, you'll find your destination."
He said, trying to be as clear as possible. You just nodded happily and then took out your cane again.
"Thank you so much for the help!"
You said before returning with your slow steps. Something in him told him he should follow you and keep you safe.
You were new to Gotham, and your blindness made you easy prey for criminals.
Besides, he was a hero, or a good antihero, but he still had a desire for justice and to protect others, and he couldn't let someone like you walk the streets of Gotham.
"Careful, there's a staircase there!"
He yelled at you from afar when he saw you about to step on a step wrong. You just turned your head and nodded with a small laugh.
"I know, you shouldn't worry."
Your steps were slow but refined as you climbed the stairs. Something in Jason's chest burned every time he sensed something dangerous for you.
He had only met you a few minutes, but he already felt strange.
What the hell was happening to him?
"Are you sure? Is there no one to accompany you, or are you alone?"
He asked curiously, and you just nodded, not paying much attention.
You didn't need anyone's protection. You'd spent your whole life being overprotected, and you didn't need anyone else to worry about you.
"You shouldn't worry. Besides, let me warn you, following me won't get you to Wonderland."
Jason just arched at your sudden comment.
"Do I look like Alice to you?"
You could only let out a small laugh at the man's question.
"Well, maybe a little, but don't be offended, it's my favorite story!"
'She laughed...' That was the only thing Jason could think when he heard your laugh.
"Well, maybe you're right," he said as he approached you. "I almost fell into a hole today. It was an open sewer, and I almost fell in because I was too distracted."
"Ah..." You nodded, surprised but a little curious about the man's story. "Oh! Right, I haven't introduced myself. I'm (Name)!"
You felt like an idiot now. You'd spent a few minutes talking to the man, but you weren't even able to ask his name or introduce yourself properly, where were your manners!
"(Name)..." He said, repeating your name as if he were tasting it in his mouth. "You can call me Jason, Jason Todd."
"Nice name," you said, about to say something, but you were hesitant. You didn't know if you should ask him for help or not. But this was your only chance. "Sorry for asking, but do you know any places where we could get tea?"
After walking all over the city, your thirst and appetite had grown, and you thought a good cup of tea would solve everything.
"Uh, well, I know a place. But it's a bit far from here-"
"Really!"
You interrupted him before he could finish his sentence. He just nodded.
"I don't want to sound annoying, but..." You swallowed before continuing. "Could you take me to that place? I'm new around here, and you know...um."
Jason quickly understood the point. He knew you didn't want to seem useless, but he knew you needed help now.
"Yeah, sure. I hope you don't get bored with my company, though. I'm not one for words."
You shook your head in amusement.
"I don't think so. Your company can't be worse than walking down the street alone."
An inaudible laugh escaped Jason's lips. You were a very direct person.
But now that he had you closer, he noticed something. He felt like he'd seen your face somewhere.
And apparently he was right. You looked like one of those models. He saw your face for the first time when he was patrolling as usual.
Your presence was plastered all over that huge billboard that could easily light up an entire street.
Apparently, you were famous, since he'd seen your face on many posters and magazines, but he decided not to ask and kept his curiosity to himself.
"Could you give me your arm?"
"Uh-"
Before he could say anything, you answered.
"I wouldn't want to hit someone with my cane again, so you could be my guide and my eyes?"
"Oh, of course,"
He said, embarrassed, finally understanding what you meant.
You wrapped your hand around his arm and pressed against him. A small blush appeared on Jason's cheeks.
It was just the cold, right?
The blush didn't mean anything. He was just cold, or was that what he wanted to think?
Anyone who saw the two of you would think you were some kind of married couple.
"Now you'll check for any holes, right?"
You said with a small chuckle, reminding him of that incident he'd told you about.
"Of course, I'll try not to be so distracted this time."
You nodded at his comment.
Jason guided you through the snowy streets, slow steps following you as you could feel the cold breeze hitting your face.
You felt happy because after a long time, you had met someone; besides, he seemed like a nice person.
Maybe leaving home and being independent wasn't so bad.
Because if you hadn't, you would never have met him.
And he would never have met someone like you.
Maybe the two of you meeting was a coincidence or a piece of fate.
Or maybe the two of you were meant to be.
I think you should stop overthinking things. If you keep doing this, you'll most likely get some kind of headache.
The important thing is to live in the future.
And stop looking at the past
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Jason is so Aleksander Code
Maybe I'll do a part 2 if I'm not too lazy
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CALL MY NAME AND I'LL COME RUNNING ; SATORU GOJO
synopsis; satoru can be irritating, at times. but even if you push him away, he’ll always, always be there for you when you need him.
word count; 8.7k (this was supposed to b a short drabble but i was possessed by the devil halfway through)
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, reader n toru have a fight, mild swearing (a couple fucks here n there), hurt/comfort, satoru has communication issues but he’s trying his best, depictions of stalking (reader gets followed by a random creep but satoru comes to the rescue dw), uhh implied thoughts of violence? (satoru wants to Maul said dude but doesn’t), literally just me being in love with satoru gojo for 8.7k words straight
a/n; no thoughts head empty only gojo running through the streets like a wild beast looking for u <33 im normal about him yeah.
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“you’re so annoying sometimes, you know that?”
satoru smiles. the sentence isn’t one he’s unaccustomed to hearing.
usually, the words are soaked in an undeniable fondness, as they spill from your lips. rich with exasperated love. one that never fails to have the corners of satoru’s lips curling up, a mellow kind of joy blossoming in his chest.
but now, that fondness is nowhere to be found. 
you sound thoroughly exasperated, and a little bit fatigued. more than anything else, there’s a vague irritation behind the tilt of your voice, something almost cold. it makes all the difference in the world. 
and yet, despite that, a certain someone chooses to pay no heed to the bad omen.
“aw, c’mon. you know you love me, baby.”
satoru is grinning. lighthearted, awfully sweet. there’s a certain smugness to it, though, one he couldn’t wash away even if he was aware of it; you wouldn’t do so even if you could. that smugness is a part of him, one that you’d usually find endearing. 
but right now, it only seeks to further your frustration.
it was a stupid fight, truthfully. completely meaningless. satoru had forgotten to pick up after himself for, like, the fourth consecutive time, and so you grew annoyed. not by a lot, but enough that you felt the need to be firm when you reminded him not to make the same mistake over and over again.
but satoru had only grinned, in that self-satisfied fashion of his, and apologized in a way you couldn’t possibly call sincere. then he did what he usually does — promises to work on it. to not do it again. he never follows through, though.
but even that thought wasn’t anywhere near enough to make you truly angry. what really began to irk you was the fact that satoru wasn’t taking you seriously, even in the slightest.
that’s how he always is, when it comes to this kind of thing. and you try to be patient, you do. you try to be understanding. sometimes you even appreciate that he keeps the atmosphere light, but other times, you just can’t help but feel irritated by it.
and the current situation happens to fall into the latter category.
you don’t care if satoru leaves a candy wrapper or two out, every once in a while. of course you don’t. it’s a silly thing to argue about. but would it hurt for him to just listen to you? to try to put himself in your shoes, for once? it’s not about the wrappers, or the undone dishes. it’s about the way he treats you when you complain about it — like it’s no big deal, like it doesn’t matter. even if it obviously does, to you.
so, gradually, the topic of your little argument began to shift, into a conversation about satoru. about the fact that he so adamantly refuses to talk about the things that bother you in a serious fashion. about the fact that he so adamantly refuses to take you seriously.
and he just keeps proving your point, with every word that falls from his lips.
at this point, you’re genuinely beginning to feel a little angry. but satoru doesn’t see that as the warning sign it is — he just thinks it’s cute. he’s just been cooing at you, this whole time, despite your numerous attempts to actually explain how much his behavior affects you sometimes. it feels a bit like talking to a wall. satoru keeps on teasing you, even as you try to be firm about your point, and only brushes you off with empty promises to do better and more unneeded comments about how much he wants to hug you when you pout like that.
and you falter, a little. of course you do. you’re weak to satoru. weak to his words, that sweet voice of his, that pretty grin. but that only makes everything worse, because if you let yourself look even a little bit flustered at his comments, he sees that as his cue to continue.
you don’t even know if he’s doing it on purpose, at this point. is he doing it because he knows it’ll annoy you, or does he genuinely not understand that you’re upset? you’d like to think that there’s no malicious intent behind it, but can’t he see how troubled you are? you don’t get it. you don’t get him, and that frustrates you most of all. satoru can be so goddamn convoluted, sometimes.
so you simply can’t help but feel annoyed. angry, even. how long have you been arguing for, at this point? you’re not sure. but you feel the frustration inside of you grow, as the minutes tick by, into something you know will eventually explode.
a sigh falls from your lips, deep and exasperated. a little bit exhausted. “i’m serious, satoru. you’re not even listening.”
“i am!” he protests, stubbornly. childishly. “you just look so cute when you’re all mad. not my fault you’re so distracting.”
satoru smiles, voice sugar sweet, but all you can do is frown. does he really think it’s cute that you’re upset? the thought makes you somewhat sad. but you can’t show that, can’t let that part of you win — you don’t even want to think about the possibility of you crying, because of this. yeah, no way in hell. 
so instead, you channel it into anger. as the blood inside your veins comes to a boiling point, you dig your nails into the skin of your palms, gnawing at your bottom lip and shifting from one foot to another.
”satoru, i’m —” another sigh, sharp and vexed like the blade of a knife. ”i’m trying to have a serious conversation, here. can’t you see that i’m upset?”
satoru takes a moment to look at you, from behind the black glass of his shades.
he can. of course he can see that. you’re frowning, and there’s a crease between your brows, and you keep huffing and sighing every three seconds — you’re obviously, undoubtedly upset. and satoru wants to take you seriously, he does. it’s just that the part of his brain that only ever wants to coddle and tease you keeps persuading him not to.
he’s not lying, either; you do look cute. almost too cute to take seriously, when you’re pouting so sweetly, a little red in the face from all the frustration bubbling inside your chest. you look so small, glaring up at him like an angry puppy. 
satoru can’t help but smile. it’d be impossible not to.
and he will listen to you, will take you seriously. he knows you’re angry, knows you’re upset, and he intends to deal with that properly. but he doesn’t need to do it right now.
just a little more teasing, before he has to stop beating around the bush. satoru dreads it, a little bit, dreads having to genuinely be serious, be open and apologetic. it always feels so strange, so discomforting. 
all that stuff can wait until later. for now, he just wants to see you blush a little more, huff and puff at his limitless affection, that he knows you love deep down. where’s the harm?
(and therein lies the problem. satoru is observant, and typically good at seeing the line that he shouldn’t cross when it comes to you. but there are times when he slips up, times when he doesn’t realize that his words have begun to sting. times when the line becomes blurry, because he knows some part of you enjoys the way he babies you, and sometimes it blinds him to the part of you that doesn’t.)
satoru is smiling. it’s the same as always — big, bright, glazed over with honey-sweet adoration. smug and teasing. it’s such a satoru-like smile that it makes your breath hitch, sometimes, makes your heart race with wonder. but now all it does is annoy you. everything you love about satoru is annoying you, right now. 
in your eyes, that pretty smile of his seems almost taunting. like he’s trying to pick a fight with you, trying to make you even more upset. you don’t want to blow up over something like this, you really really don’t — but for some reason, you feel dangerously close to. it’s not like you at all.
you bore into his eyes with a cold glare, even though you can’t exactly see them with his shades in the way. posture straight and rigid as you try to make yourself look bigger. you must look at least a little bit menacing, like this. right?
“i’m seriously angry with you,” you say, hoping your voice sounds as austere to his ears as it does to yours. “don’t you get that?”
satoru coos, unable to hold the sound back. he doesn’t notice the flicker of hurt in your eyes, only focusing on how the sunset rays frame your figure, kissing your skin with sun-soaked fervor. you look so pretty. and that angry look on your face is too tantalizing not to tease.
“aww,” he croons, inching closer to you. there’s a teasing glint in his eyes that you can’t see, unmistakably fond. “is my little baby that upset?”
you blink. his voice sounds even more sugar-sweet now, obviously exaggerated. there’s amusement there, too — like this is just one big joke to him. you think he must be doing it to belittle you, to embarrass you. speaking to you like you’re some kind of grumpy toddler, and not a grown adult trying to have a serious conversation with their partner. your blood boils, boils, boils.
— and so the cup overflows.
“oh, go fuck yourself.”
it’s almost in a hiss that the words fall from your lips, cold and harsh; they leave the confines of your throat before you have a chance to reconsider them, sudden and sickeningly heavy. crude, too. you’d never be so crass with him under normal circumstances.
but you’re overwhelmed, thoroughly and completely, and satoru is being particularly infuriating. you genuinely feel hurt by the way he’s disregarding your feelings, and that realization stings more than anything. 
so you can’t help but say the words, louder than you meant to, before turning on your heel swiftly and walking out of the room. 
you don’t even have time to register what you’re doing, legs moving on their own before your mind can catch up. brisk and heavy steps carry you to the door, all while you furiously attempt to blink away the tears of frustration that begin to form in your eyes.
it only takes a second for you to grab your jacket — then you’re out.
satoru hears the front door close, echoing off the walls of your apartment. you don’t quite slam it shut, but you close it with more force than usual, and he can’t help but inwardly wince.
a moment passes. 
then, he flops down on the couch, lanky arms and legs dangling uncomfortably off the edges. the groan that slips from his lips is muffled by the soft cushion as he burrows his face into it, while replaying your interaction inside his mind.
satoru can’t help but feel uncomfortable, with this conclusion. a little bit irked. a vague something rests inside his chest, something he doesn’t quite want to admit to feeling. it makes him feel a little bit sick.
(”oh, go fuck yourself.”)
he can’t recall you ever raising your voice at him like that. when it comes to him, you’re usually so patient; soft, understanding, gentle. for you to have snapped in such a way — to have stormed out of the apartment in your anger — he must have pushed you pretty far.
satoru sighs.
he really pissed you off, huh?
(he can never quite seem to get this right, can he?)
it was never his intention to make you genuinely mad. he just lost sight of the line, for a second. that’s all.
and maybe he was also trying to avoid the issue, trying to avoid actually arguing with you. because he hates it. he hates it more than anything. satoru would much rather see you smile and blush than act all serious and sad. 
he just wanted to make you laugh.
was it insensitive? yeah, probably. he just can’t help but fuck this up, it seems. now he’s gone and made you angry — and as much as the sight would usually thrill him, as cute as you look when you’re irritated, a pit of anxiety settles in his gut. everything just feels wrong.
more than anything, satoru feels restless. because, right now, there’s nothing he can do. he can’t chase after you, even if just to apologize — that’d make you even angrier.
he knows he needs to give you space. you were obviously overwhelmed; some fresh air will do you good.
it irks him, though. satoru wants to fix it. he always wants to fix everything, before it even breaks. and even now, all his mind can do is spin in circles, wondering how he could possibly cheer you up.
he’ll just have to apologize, when you get back. and hope you forgive him. maybe he can get you something sweet to munch on, or a bouquet of flowers. would that make everything okay again?
satoru doesn’t know. so he just scratches his head, and tries his damndest not to think of how defeated you looked before leaving.
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your steps are heavy, dragging you forward, leading you somewhere you have no knowledge of. it’s chilly out, and the sun is already setting.
everything in the world feels so wrong. like it’s tilted slightly to the left, like the earth stopped spinning around its axis. like everything suddenly lost its saturation. 
you just needed to get away from him, for a while. away from that smug smile, that patronizing tilt of his voice. you couldn’t even stand to be in the same apartment as him. it’s not often you feel that way, not often at all. 
and it only increases your growing frustration. 
you are beginning to calm down, though — you know you are. the crisp evening air and the pleasant mingle of people soothes your muddled senses, smoothing down the crease of your brow and the ache in your chest.
a heavy discomfort, and a growing guilt. that’s all you can feel, as the anger slowly seeps out of you, turning into vapour with every exhale of your breath.
you hate arguing with satoru. you hate it more than anything. the guilt clawing at your chest barely leaves any room for anger — you almost yelled at him. just the thought of doing that to satoru makes you want to cry.
because you love him, at the end of the day, even when he’s being absolutely insufferable. he’s a sweetheart, your sweet boy, always trying to lighten the mood and make you smile. maybe you should have been a bit more understanding; you know satoru’s bad at this stuff, bad with emotions and vulnerability. and deep down, you know he’d never hurt you, not on purpose.
he probably just didn’t realize that you were genuinely upset. it’s a mistake that anyone could make.
but it just makes you feel so frustrated. like he’s not even looking at you. always hiding behind those shades, never opening up. never letting you see him wear anything but a smile. you want him to take it slow, open up to you at his own pace, but that doesn’t make the wait sting any less.
it’s not like you were asking for a lot. first, you simply asked him to pick up after himself. the way you do, the way anyone does. then, you simply asked him to treat you with respect.
a sudden pang of bitterness runs through your chest. sure, you could’ve handled it all better — but he could have, too.
every step you take hits the pavement with an irritated kind of decision. whatever. whatever. for now, you don’t want to think about it — all you want is to walk around and take in the sights, enjoy the peace and quiet.
so that’s exactly what you do.
before you know it, the sun has set, and the moon has risen — shining down and painting the streets in a mesmerizing blue, ephemeral and tranquil. it’s enough to give you some peace of mind, as you lurk around familiar streets, soaking in all the open space. so different from that suffocating apartment, and the man inside it, with that shit-eating grin and those breathtaking eyes.
(he’s called you, a couple times. you haven’t been gone for long — an hour or so, you think, maybe two. some part of you wanted to answer, just to hear his voice through the phone, but the part of you that’s still awfully irritated shut that down immediately. so, stubbornly, you just let it ring.)
the streets are empty, and the sky is dark. the light of all the lampposts illuminate your way, along with the soft flicker of the moon and stars. an endless galaxy stretches out before your eyes, little pale dots of stardust shining like jewels.
an ever-lasting, never-changing sky, that continues on for infinity. limitless. all the space you could possibly want, and then some.
for a moment, you can only look at the glittering stars in wonder, soaking in the feeling of absolute solitude. 
— it doesn’t last, though.
“you alone?”
a sudden voice calls out from behind you. close, discerningly so, enough to make you flinch. you curse yourself for not noticing anything sooner, caught up in looking at the starry sky, in angling your phone to take a picture of it.
hesitantly, you turn your gaze towards the sound — wincing under your breath when you see the man a couple steps away from you. he looks a little crazed, you think, shifting from foot to foot and hunching over. 
oh fuck no.
great, just what you needed. that’s just your luck, isn’t it? your brain can only spin in circles, trying to get your body to react, to run. to do literally anything except just stand there like a deer caught in headlights.
in your nervosity, all you manage is a painfully awkward laugh, as you stutter out a halfhearted response.
“oh — no, i’m just waiting for my boyfriend!” you smile, unconvincingly. your face must be soaked in unease. whatever he wants with you, it can’t be anything good.
at least you said that one word clearly — boyfriend. you can only hope it’s enough to scare him away.
but the man only shifts a little more, emitting a gruff kind of hum, not saying anything else. your spine tingles with apprehension. every cell in your body wants you to leave. he seems a little intoxicated, you think, and the thought only stirs the anxious feeling in your chest further.
god. why does this have to happen to you? why now?
thankfully, you’ve got your phone in hand. as your mind scrambles for solutions, your fingers tap at the screen, urgently scrolling through your contacts. in such a frightened state, your acting must be positively awful, but you make a vague attempt. not like you’re getting any oscars for this, either way.
“sorry — he’s calling me now!” you stammer out, taking a step away from the man. he doesn’t make a move to follow you, so you take your chances and press your phone to your ear, feet carrying you forward with haste.
in your fear, you don’t think twice about calling satoru — but you can’t help but internally wince at the decision, as the anxious patter of your own heart resounds in your ears.
how are you supposed to talk to him, exactly? what are you supposed to say? hey, i know i just told you to go fuck yourself, but will you hear me out? i need your help. 
and you do. you do need his help. all you want is for him to swoop in, to take you in his arms, your knight in shining armor.
satoru’s said it to you, before — that if you need anything, anything at all, you can come to him. that you can always, always lean on him, without exception. 
you know that he likes helping you. likes it when you open up to him, when you put your trust in him. when you aren’t afraid to ask for his help.
so despite everything, you hold your phone to your ear, walking away with brisk steps and praying that he’s not petty enough to ignore your call like you did to his.
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back home, satoru is still resting on the couch, tapping his feet and trying to distract himself. 
he’s a little anxious. it’s dark out, and you’re not answering any of his calls. when you’re out of sight, like this, he can’t help but feel a little helpless — worried about everything that could happen to you. but it’s not like he can force you to pick up. 
you’re probably at a friend’s house, or something. telling them all about what an asshole your boyfriend is. as much as the thought stings, satoru hopes it’s true; it’s all he can comfort himself with. anything is fine as long as you aren’t out walking alone, in the cold, in the dark.
entirely caught up in his spiralling thoughts, satoru almost flinches when the phone rings. laying on the table in front of him, just within arm’s reach. it only takes a second for him to react as his gaze flits to the bright screen, and he sees the contact name, the many heart emojis littering it.
with a start, satoru jumps up. his back straightens out, and his hand flies to grab the phone — he’d feel embarrassed at his own eagerness, but right now he just can’t help it. even under ordinary circumstances, he wouldn’t let the phone ring more than twice, always giddy to hear your voice whenever possible. 
this time, however, he does falter slightly.
he takes a split second to simply stare at the phone in his hand, at the affectionate contact name. what is he supposed to say to you, exactly? how is he supposed to act?
satoru doesn’t know, but as if afraid that you’ll change your mind and stop the call, yourself, he opts to simply answer. he’ll just have to figure out what to say on the fly.
(unfortunately, satoru’s instinctual response to anything is either smugness or playfulness.)
“well, well. look who finally decided to pick up.”
you’re the one who called him, not the other way around — but satoru can’t be bothered with small details like that right now. he only hopes you don’t notice the faint nervosity in his voice, the stiffness as he tries to sound unbothered.
you don’t notice anything at all, mind far too muddled, too clouded by fear. all you can do is take a deep breath, desperately trying to grasp control over your wavering voice.
“— satoru?” you call out, voice meek and frail. the man in question notices it immediately, sitting up a little straighter, but before he can say anything you continue. “i’m sorry, i just — are — are you still at home?”
there’s an anxious tilt to your voice, one that’d be impossible for satoru to miss. your words are a little breathy, spoken in a fast tempo, and he feels a sudden dread crawl up his spine.
something is wrong, his senses alert him.
“yeah,” he hums, trying to hide the turmoil in his own voice. “why? is everything okay?”
the line is quiet, for a second. “it’s just —“ an exhale, as you once again attempt to steer your voice in a less nervous direction. “just… some creepy guy tried to talk to me. i told him i was waiting for my boyfriend and now i’m walking away from him but he’s still following me.” another exhale, as you worriedly sneak a glance over your shoulder. ”i just — i don’t know what to —”
“where are you?”
satoru cuts you off, voice eerily serious. his gaze turned cold the moment he heard creepy guy, legs moving him towards the coat rack by the front door as if on autopilot. 
he’s already left the apartment by the time you answer, looking around you meekly.
“i… don’t know,” you sigh. “i’m not far. i walked past that one crêpe stand by the park but then i, like… continued up that street? and now i don’t really know where i’m going.”
you continue, a little exasperated as your gaze flits around the dark street. attempting to recall your steps, a difficult task with how on edge you feel. “i’ll try to look for a sign, or something,” you gulp. “… i’m sorry. i just wanted to get away from him.”
satoru’s voice is comforting, when he speaks, eager to console you. grounding and soft. “hey, it’s okay. i’m heading there now, alright?” he smiles, hoping you’ll hear it in his voice. “i’ll be there before you know it.”
you do hear it, and his words ease a little of the anxiety in your chest, despite your fear. “okay.” 
the line grows quiet, again, and your brows furrow in worry. “can — can i keep talking to you?” you ask, uncertain. a little pitiful. ”please?”
“of course,” satoru answers, instantaneous. he’s already making his way towards the crêpe stand with decision in his steps, mentally scanning the area ahead. despite his own anxiety at the situation, he attempts to sound as secure as he can possibly manage, desperate to soothe the worry in your voice.
“try to relax for me, okay? nobody’s gonna hurt you. not while i’m here.”
his words are absolute, as he consoles you. he sounds so sure of himself, so much that you can’t help but believe in his words. so you nod, emitting a weak hum when you remember he can’t see you.
“can you tell me what you see, baby?”
“uhh…” you look around, blindly, trying to find some sort of meaningful hint around you. “there’s like… some toy shop?” 
satoru only hums. “can you check your location on your phone?” 
you blink. 
of course. why on earth didn’t that cross your mind before? 
“oh — yeah — fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know why i didn’t —“ you sigh, heavy. “hold on.”
following satoru’s instructions swiftly, your gaze scans over the screen. he waits, patiently, already heading past the park and up ahead. as soon as you succeed in finding the name of the street, you echo it to him.
satoru sighs, a little relieved. “okay,” he hums. “i’m not that far away. i’ll be there soon.” he only hopes his words can soothe your fear, even a little. “is he still following you?”
you glance behind you, and meet the gaze of the stranger. just like you were afraid of, he’s still following you — if anything, he seems to have gotten a little closer. with a jolt, your heartbeat picks up.
“yeah,” you gulp. 
satoru’s chest tightens. he emits a low hum. “just hold on. i’ll hurry.”
focusing only on the tilt of satoru’s voice, you try to calm your breathing. you just want to see him. the thought of doing so is the only thing keeping your trembling ribcage intact, at this point. 
you swallow a shaky breath.
“thanks, toru.”
a sudden pang of ache sprouts in satoru’s chest, like thorny vines curling around his ribcage. his heart hurts. you sound so scared, so very small. 
this is all his fault, he thinks. all of it. he got too careless; none of this would’ve happened if he had only been more considerate. if he had just stopped you from leaving and apologized, or hadn’t upset you in the first place. then he wouldn’t have to hear that scared little voice, wouldn’t have to imagine your body shaking like a leaf in the cold night. so far away from him. 
but satoru can’t beat himself up over it, not yet. there’ll be more than enough time for that later. for now, he needs to get to you — that’s the only thing on his mind.
so he lets his feet carry him forward, running towards your location with bated breath. he’s sure you can hear it, through the phone, even though he tries to contain it.
the sound consoles you, if anything. it reminds you that satoru is there, that he’s on his way. that there’s no need to be scared. 
but you can’t help but freak out, a little, when you hear the man call out from behind you.
“hey!” he slurs, stumbling towards you with unsteady steps. his voice is loud, angry, and it sends your mind reeling into panic mode.
a flinch overtakes your body, before you stumble forward, walking even faster than before. you’re almost running now, breath hitching as you gulp. satoru hears it all — your panic, the echo of the man. his own tempo picks up.
“baby, calm down, okay?” he consoles you, voice concerned and honey-sweet. “just keep walking. i’m almost there.”
“sorry —“ you squeak out, between flurry breaths. breathing uneven, laboured and anxious. but you try your best to calm down. “‘s just scary.”
it almost feels physical, the way it irks him. satoru wants to pull you close, more than anything, but he can’t. and that just makes the calamity inside his chest grow, clawing at his ribcage as if trying to escape, to go to your side. 
(he never, ever wants to hear that kind of fear in your voice again.)
“i know,” he soothes. “you’re doing good, honey. listen — he’s not gonna touch you. i won’t let him. you have nothing to be scared of.”
you nod, even as you exhale a shaky breath. ”i know.” 
and you do. you know there’s a truth, to satoru’s words, one that’s never failed you before.
because satoru is your safe space, at the end of the day — he can be annoying, outright insufferable, and sometimes he’s bad with emotions. but he tries, you know he does. and, more than anything else, you know that he’ll always, always be there when you need him. he’ll always be there to protect you. 
and a part of you is sure that everything will be okay, as long as he’s around.
(it’s easy to forget how trustworthy satoru really is, how much he cares. how dependable he is. and how serious he can get, when he truly needs to be, despite his childishness. it’s moments like these that remind you of that.)
but it’s still scary, at the end of the day. you can’t help but feel uncomfortable, a little lost in the world. because you and satoru just fought, you just told him to go fuck himself, and yet here he is. running to your side, in the middle of the night, because you’re scared and alone and you need him.
the man continues to shout, behind you, muttering curses you can’t quite make out. you look over your shoulder nervously, steps hurried.
and satoru runs like a man possessed, through the moonlit streets, gaze scanning the area like a wild beast. his most visceral instinct is screaming at him, tugging at his flesh and bones, desperate to protect you. to comfort you. to wash all your worries away. 
as he makes a sharp turn, he momentarily stops the movement, halting to look around. he thinks he must look a little crazed, with the moonlight illuminating his eyes, but he couldn’t care less.
especially not when his gaze lands on a certain person, further down the street — small and alone.
your eyes meet his.
with the darkness of the street, it’s hard to make anything out, but the light of the lamppost helps. though even without it, satoru’s sure he’d know it was you, just from the sensation that unfurls in his chest as his gaze lands on your figure. 
an audible sigh of immense relief falls from his lips, and his tense shoulders relax, eyes softening just a tad. he hears a similar noise coming from the phone in his grasp, and he assumes that means you recognize him too. not bothering to end the call, he puts it in his pocket, walking over to you with brisk steps. 
you stumble towards him, yourself, the worried crease between your brows now smoothed away. the closer he gets, the faster you move, until you can see the blue of his eyes. two pocket-sized moons.
satoru swoops you in for a hug before either of you can say anything.
he cradles you close, awfully close, so close you can hear his heavy breathing against your ear. it tickles your neck, along with his soft hair, and you shiver. his fragrance envelops your senses, a blend between fresh laundry, strawberries and some expensive cologne. your favorite scent in the world. 
and suddenly, the world is devoid of danger. nothing can get to you while satoru’s there. all that exists is you, and him, and the soft flicker of the moon.
satoru squeezes you tightly, ensuring himself over and over again that you’re safe. he might be squeezing you a little too tight, but he can’t bring himself to think about that just yet.
finally, that growing calamity inside his chest is satiated. winding down at the feeling of you pressed up against him, the indisputable proof that you’re okay. with you in his arms, satoru feels like everything is alright, again.
the fear inside his chest, so foreign it leaves him shaken to the very core, finally begins to dissipate too. he doesn’t think there’s anything that makes him feel quite as hopeless as the thought of not being there for you when you need him. he never wants to feel that fear again. it’s suffocating. it crushes his lungs.
all he can do is hold you close, his big palm smoothing down your hair, the back of your head, your spine. warm and comforting. keeping you steady against him. he can feel your heartbeat, rapid and anxious, so fast that his heart aches. satoru is eager to soothe you, eager to make it go away.
”i’m here, baby,” he breathes, rubbing his cheek against the side of your head. ”you’re safe now.”
the words are spoken softly, right by your ear, and you exhale a shaky breath. you’re bundling up his clothing with your fists, anchoring yourself to him. after a little while, you let go, opting to wrap your arms around his midriff instead. nuzzling into his broad chest, you try to blink away your tears and contain your sniffles.
you nod against him, and satoru kisses the crown of your head.
and, finally, his gaze strays. it falls farther down the street, until it lands on a certain man — shifting from one foot to another. watching you both in silence.
the calamity inside his chest rouses from its slumber, once more.
satoru makes sure to keep his hands on you, still rubbing your back with one steady palm cradling the back of your head. keeping your face hidden in his chest, safe and secure.
then he raises his head, back straight, full height on display as his eyes meet the stranger’s. he can tell they do, even with the distance, the darkness of the street.
and satoru knows he looks menacing. he knows the light of the lamppost illuminates his figure perfectly, framing his tall stature and broad shoulders. and he knows the moonlight caressing his skin illuminates his face, his cold eyes — blue and uncanny, glowing even brighter than the moon. staring daggers into the man’s soul. if looks could kill, there wouldn’t even be any remains left to find.
the man stiffens, visibly, and satoru delights in it. he doesn’t leave, though, and for a second satoru wonders if he’s really intoxicated enough to come closer — 
but, sure enough, all he does is stagger a little. then he walks away, grumbling under his breath, hands in his pockets.
and satoru isn’t satisfied, with this conclusion. not in the slightest. he wants to run up to the man, wants to hold him up by the throat, wants to tell him off. because he has the nerve to terrorize someone like that, stalk them with intentions he knows can’t be anything but revolting. the nerve to do that to you, of all the people in the world —
satoru doesn’t know if he’s hated anyone quite as much. 
and a part of him wants to make him cower. make him fear for his life, just to make sure he never does anything like this again. leave him with a fear so great it’ll linger for as long as he’s alive.
(and a more animalistic side of satoru, one he doesn’t want to acknowledge, wants to do things that are much, much worse.)
— but you come first. without question, and without exception. he refuses to leave you alone, and refuses to make you look at the man for even a second more. 
so he’ll focus on you, entirely.
he can tell you’re still shaken up, heartbeat pulsating against him, little flutters of life prickling his skin. there’s a desperation in the way you hug his waist, like he could disappear at any moment. like he’ll slip away if you don’t keep him close. the sight tugs at satoru’s heartstrings. 
his first priority is to soothe you, always and forever. so that’s exactly what he does.
satoru smiles. it’s small, in the wake of the situation, but awfully sincere. fingers reaching down to trace over your jaw, he gently urges you to look at him; when you do so, hesitant, he cups your cheek with his palm.
your teary eyes feel like daggers to his heart, an unmistakable proof of his failure. his failure to protect you, to keep you safe and happy. but at the same time, he’s glad, from the bottom of his heart — that you’d let him see you like this. even after everything.
you look very meek, blinking the tears away as you look into his eyes. they’re bright, and comforting. you wonder if he left the shades at home, if he rushed over here so hurriedly that he didn’t think to bring them with him. you’re happy, in any case — the effect they have on you is undeniable. 
you can’t bring yourself to look away, consoled by the flickers of white inside his irises, like fluffy clouds in the blue sky. ever-lasting, never-changing.
satoru tilts his head, smile sweet and understanding. ”that was scary, hm?” 
his voice is tender, somehow so mature. like he’s some older, wiser being, comforting a scared child. it’s so soothing, so very grounding.
squeezing your eyes shut, you can only bring yourself to nod, as you nuzzle back into his chest.
”you’re okay now, honey,” satoru coos, smoothing down your back as you sniffle. an immense softness seeps through his whisper. ”i’ll always be here to protect you.”
there’s a truth to the statement, heavy and pious. like an oath, a pledge, something for you to believe in unquestioningly. you allow yourself to soak in the words, knowing them to be true.
you’re safe, now. there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore. satoru’s here, and he’s hugging you, pressing kisses against your shoulder.
but you just can’t stop crying.
when you speak up, your voice is weak, barely above a whisper. close to breaking apart at the seams. too tired after everything to resist the guilt inside your veins, you sniffle, and part your lips.
”i’m sorry i yelled at you.”
satoru stills.
then, his gaze softens, considerably. he hears himself coo, softly, palm smoothing down the back of your head. 
his sweet angel. apologizing to him, when he’s the one who started this whole mess. when you’re still so shaken up. because he let you leave the house angry, because he made you angry in the first place. because he didn’t see how important the discussion was to you.
(“you’re not even listening.”)
yeah. he wasn’t. he didn’t really want to.
an acute sense of shame. an intense guilt. that’s what he’s been trying to push down, all this time. that’s the unnamed something. 
it’s hard for him. to be as sincere as you, as open with his feelings and emotions. as mature. because even in a situation like this, you can swallow your pride and frustration, and apologize. even when you aren’t in the wrong. you’re always the bigger person, always the one to give in first, because he’s too stubborn to do so himself.
next time, satoru pledges, he won’t let you. next time he’ll be the one to swallow his pride.
because, yes, being vulnerable and admitting that he was in the wrong makes him feel a little like he’s being skewered alive — but you’re important to him. he loves you. and he wants you to know how much he trusts you, how special you truly are. 
if he can show you that, by being a little sincere, a little serious, then any discomfort he feels in the process is a small price to pay.
satoru’s lips meet the crown of your head, as he encircles your smaller frame, arms reaching around your neck to pull you close. he rests his jaw lightly on the top of your head, breathing in your scent. ”you have nothing to apologize for, baby.”
a pause lingers between the words he’s already said and the ones he yearns to say, but can’t seem to pull out from within his throat. it takes effort, to squeeze them out; but every time he replays your own apology in his mind, it gets a little easier. he squeezes you lightly before opening his mouth, as if to give him strenght.
“i’m sorry.”
you blink. 
for once, satoru sounds sincere when he apologizes — almost painfully so. bordering on something you think may be nervosity. you try to look up, to catch a glimpse of his expression, but he keeps you hidden in the crook of his neck.
”i was being immature,” he continues, sighing. you don’t know if you’ve ever heard satoru sound so uncomfortable. ”you know how bad i am with this stuff. but i never want to — you know.” 
he makes a gesture with one of his hands, as if that will say the words for him.
“— i didn’t mean to upset you. honestly.” satoru inhales the cold air, in hopes it’ll make him more honest. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
you listen. intently, not missing a word, not a single tilt of his voice. it all sounds so genuine, almost foreign on his tongue. satoru seems to be trying to find the right words, grumbling a little under his breath. 
he’s cute, like this. kind of awkward, but that only makes him cuter. you nuzzle closer to him, comforted by his very existence.
”… i’ll work on it,” he whispers, at last. “i’ll listen to you. i promise. i really, really will.” 
you think satoru’s voice wavers, just a little, when he says his final piece. 
“so please don’t cry.”
this time, satoru doesn’t stop you when you attempt to lift your gaze, loosening his arms around you and raising his head from where it rests on top of yours. 
your eyes meet. satoru is smiling, weakly. he tilts his head, looking at you with something you could only ever describe as love.
”okay?”
such a lovely smile. so painfully genuine. his eyes are on full display, shining in the dark of the night, like splotches of moonlight. like someone stole the moon down to earth, and carved out little pieces to put in his irises. an ethereal hue.
he’s so gorgeous. hair just a tad messy, tousled from all the running he did to get here. cheeks a little red from the cold. when he smiles, his eyes crinkle. but he looks almost pained. 
(he was so, so worried.)
blinking away the tears clinging to your lashes, you simply stare, entirely mesmerized by the sight. satoru’s thumb goes to wipe at your glassy eyes, smoothing away the drops that threaten to fall. you want to engrave his expression into your memory, so you can never forget it. but it’s just a little too much.
so you hide in his chest, once more. the word that falls from your lips is tiny. “okay.”
satoru smiles, kissing the top of your head with a relieved exhale. bathing in your presence, still reeling from his show of vulnerability. he feels a little like he just cut himself open, let you peek inside his ribcage. the night air stings his skin. 
but you’re so warm, hugging him tightly, breathing and heartbeat finally relaxed. 
(he doesn’t mind it, not if it’s you — having you look inside his chest. if you asked, he’d let you build a shelter there. right between his fourth and fifth ribs.)
now that the words are out of his throat, they don’t burn at all. satoru feels a little silly, for being so scared to say them out loud. he knows you’d never use them against him.
all you do is snuggle closer, as if silently conveying your forgiveness.
you stand there for just a little while longer, wallowing in the tender atmosphere. finally, satoru makes a move to leave, and you begin to walk back home.
“sure you’re okay now, baby?”
you nod, exhaling a flurry breath. it turns into vapour in the cold of the air, drifting up and dissipating in the expanding starry sky. “yeah. thanks for coming so quickly.”
“of course,” satoru only says, choking back a yawn. 
your hands are intertwined, and he’s halfheartedly swinging them back and forth. it soothes your anxiety, and satoru’s protective instincts. you know neither of you will slip away, like this.
you shiver a little, subconsciously inching closer to satoru to protect you from the harsh bite of the midnight breeze. he notices, giving you a glance and a tilt of his head. “you cold?” 
“just a little,” you mutter, smiling weakly as you look up at him. ”i’m fine.”
satoru huffs. did you really think he’d be dissuaded by such a weak retort? there’s no way he’s letting you walk around all cold and shivering. 
so you come to a standstill, as satoru begins to shrug off his coat. he refuses to let go of your hand for even a second, making the process slower than usual — your heart flutters a little, as his fingers curl around yours, delicately. 
when he finally gets it off him, he wastes no time in draping it over your shoulders. it’s big on you, warm and soft, shielding you from the chilly air. satoru can’t help but giggle sheepishly, as he always does at the sight — you look so cute. 
“c’mon. let’s go home,” he grins, ruffling your hair teasingly.
satoru doesn’t feel cold, not in the slightest, as he holds your hand tightly. just your presence is enough to warm his bones to the marrow.
the silence between you is comforting and soothing, as you continue to walk. hand in hand, admiring the starry sky. you’re both too tired to speak — but satoru does so, anyway.
“i meant it, y’know.” satoru sounds sleepy, but earnest. ”i really will work on it.”
he doesn’t look at you when he says it, yawning softly and stretching his free arm. gaze fixed on the morning star. 
“oh.” you pause, squirming a little. sheepish. “thank you. i’m sorry that i — i mean.” a sigh. “i probably overreacted a little.”
satoru shakes his head, waving off your guilt. “nah. you’re right. i never want you to feel like i’m not taking you seriously.”
his gaze meets yours, tentatively. his eyes shine like wedding rings. “you mean a lot to me.”
the sincere words manifest themselves as a heavy pressure to your chest, closing in on your heart as if crushing it. it’s a pleasant sensation, though, overwhelming as it is. you’re a little scared that your knees will buckle if he keeps this up, but even if they do, you wouldn’t want him to stop — satoru’s love is terrifically overwhelming when there’s nothing to hide it, when it’s just love and nothing else.
but you’d never reject it. you’d let it crush you to death with a smile on your face.
all you can do is avert your gaze, afraid that you’ll fall into the blue sea of his eyes if you don’t. heavy thumps of blood resound in your ears as your heart beats, warmth spreading throughout your entire body.
“… you mean a lot to me, too.” you echo, holding his hand just a little tighter. warmth rises to your cheeks. “i just felt really frustrated, i guess. like you were looking down on me. i know you weren’t actually, though.”
satoru chews at the inside of his cheek, almost anxiously. “i know i can be a little much sometimes,” he says, tasting the words on his tongue. “and i appreciate you for putting up with that. i’m sorry i let it go too far. i’ll be more considerate.”
your heart stutters in your chest. you’re not sure what to say — the way he forms his words makes them feel so absolute. and you believe him.
“i’ll be more considerate, too,” you echo, looking down at the pavement. “i shouldn’t have blown up like that.” a pause. you mumble, quietly, a little embarrassed. “i shouldn’t have told you to go fuck yourself.”
satoru breathes out an amused huff, chuckling lightheartedly. his eyes carry a teasing glint when they meet yours. “i probably deserved that. no worries.”
“still,” you pout. satoru giggles. 
“we’ll both work on it, then,” he hums, tilting his head to find your gaze. “right?”
you blink. a small smile breaks out across your face. “right.”
satoru swings your hands back and forth, looking awfully happy with himself. you’re proud of him. really.
“oh —“ he says, breaking the sleepy silence once again. “and i’ll stop leaving wrappers around, too.”
this time, you’re the one who huffs out an amused breath. “thank you,” you grin, looking up at him. he thinks the sight is terribly precious.
a yawn leaves your lips, drowsiness sneaking its way into your bloodstream. you’re not sure if it’s due to the dark, or if you’re just a tad exhausted after all the arguing and panicking.
satoru notices, and gets an idea.
“you tired, baby?” he coos, eyes teasing but soft around the edges. “d’you want a piggyback ride?” 
when you give him a look, sleepy and kind of exasperated, satoru grins. you huff out an amused breath, just a tad embarrassed, but it only spurs him on.
so he crouches down, one knee meeting the pavement, letting your hand slip from his. you blink, tiredly, at the loss of contact. you can’t see his face, but you know he’s wearing that lovesick, smug little grin of his. 
”c’mon. your big, strong boyfriend’ll carry you.”
satoru’s feeling playful, you can tell. that’s usually a bad sign — but you can’t deny that you’re tired. and the prospect of getting carried all the way home is eerily tempting. 
your gaze falls on his back, and his broad shoulders. silently, you walk towards him, and wrap your arms around his neck. satoru holds you up by your thighs, and then stands up, jostling you a little; he does so without a hitch, and you’re reminded of how strong he really is. his grip is secure, and you trust him not to drop you, no matter what. 
you let out a content sigh, basking in the chill of the midnight air as you nuzzle your cheek against his soft hair. satoru chuckles.
”my sleepy lil’ sweetheart,” he coos, voice a tad raspy. ”lucky thing you’ve got me, huh?”
there’s a softness to his voice, despite the teasing tilt obscuring it. you can only huff out a breath, somewhere between a chuckle and a scoff, and cling to him tighter.
satoru will get you home safe. he can be annoying, outright insufferable, and he can be bad with emotions — but you can always, always trust him on that. 
so, with his coat shielding you from the chilly air, and his back warming you up as he carries you back to your apartment, you allow your eyes to flutter shut; enjoying the cozy feeling his presence brings you.
he’ll always be there when you need him.
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boobav · 8 months ago
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Viktor this season has rlly inspired me. I hope you all enjoy the various drabbles :) I'll try write more here.
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The first time you met Viktor, you recall, the sun was shining.
The meeting was perfectly ordinary. Not even a meeting, really, seeing as you learnt his name a week later.
With a cool breeze, you ate your lunch in silence, head held to the sun as though a flower in bloom. You closed your eyes, breathed deep. Meditative perfection.
And when you reopened them, he was there.
Half-frozen in the doorway, he gazed at you with what seemed like surprise, at the time. Later you'd learn that he was, from his own words, mesmerised.
"Professor." He'd said in polite greeting, looking away. You smiled, but he left the way he came before any conversation could commence.
The next meeting, he was the one sat outside, silently pondering something. You'd found his expression of concentration endearing beyond words. The furrow of his brows, the occasional, unconscious movement of his lips. The way his eyes lit up when they landed on you.
The weather that afternoon, when you'd strolled over to properly introduce yourself to the man, was similarly bright. A perfect blue running across the sky. A songbird somewhere unseen, and the breeze defined by its almost supernatural ability to alleviate.
You weren't superstitious, nor did you believe in signs, an elusive, irrational concept. But with his presence offering as much warmth as the sun, with the way his eyes ran nervously from yours only to return, bound by some societal principal of politeness, with the way he tested your name on his tongue that cloudless day, you thought maybe there really was something to the concept. Some sign leading you to him.
"How about we get lunch sometime?" You hadn't exactly thought the offer out. But his smile alone was quick to convince you of the idea.
"Of course," Viktor said, "are you... free now?"
"I think I had something planned, but I seem to have forgotten all about it..."
-
For a few months, then, you re-learnt what it meant to be alive.
To meet someone so perfectly in tune with your every move seemed fantastical, seemed like a sign. You spent free weekends not hunched over a desk, stressed beyond articulation, but with Viktor. You learnt of his work, learnt of the pure brilliance that bloomed at the mere touch of his hands.
And you learnt every contour of those hands. Pressed your lips into the palms, into every scar and cut. A fleeting remedy, but one he grew unable to live without. For he, too, had to re-learn what it meant to be alive.
He felt astoundingly undeserving of what you seemed so willing to provide. More than love, but adoration. Something almost approaching worship. He felt the weakness of his own body so acutely with yours pressed against it, so terribly perfect. Whatever scar or mark you seemed to mention in distaste, he loved. He thought, maybe, that you were some kind of sign. That things would get better. That the traitor he called a body would recover or, at least, stop wilting away.
But nothing changed. Not really.
Learning of his illness wasn't a shock, because it wasn't a secret. Jayce mentioned it to you often. The real shock came on slow. Like a spider taking it's time to crawl up your spine. As the months passed, the extent of its deteriorating effect showed itself. Viktor's heart, weak against your own. The bags under his eyes darkening further, his pale skin sinking pallid.
Happiness, by some twisted measure or other, seems to run from its owner more often than not.
You think you're living in a state of euphoria, a state of perfection for so long, the way we were supposed to exist. You feel as though nothing could break this film of joy over your life, that you're somehow exempt from reality.
But you're not.
Overtime, Viktor shut himself off. He spent more and more time in the lab. He had very little to say. When you broke down, the only consolation he could offer was a quiet apology, mumbled from across the room.
You dreamt of consolation. Every night, from then on. Endless fields of restorative ideas. Endless ways to make him feel better, to be there for him even if he found the idea ludicrous.
Because why would you waste your time with him? He knows you're better off somewhere else, stretched out in the warm weather without a burden as heavy as him on your back. The pillar you were in his life, crumbled by his own hand. He deemed it necessary. Convinced himself so.
But what could you do?
You could barely comprehend his struggle. How could you even begin to ease it?
This thought process kept you from physically seeking this dream of yours. A warning sign from your mind, a psychological guard rail which, in reality, only protected you from yourself. All these flowery ideas of reconciliation, bouquets of roses and trays of baked goods in your mind, and yet, you did nothing.
The attack on the council made sure that you'd never have the chance.
Jayce had been the one to tell you. Tell you that among the victims was the dream gifted to you every night, the man you viewed as an inseparable extension of yourself. And when you visited, stared up at whatever the hexcore was doing to Viktor, you felt an unparalleled hatred.
For yourself, for your failings and shortcomings. Every time a word came out wrong. Every time a day ended in silence.
Rising tensions, blood on the city streets. Soon, you had nothing left in Piltover besides a few shattered friends.
So you left.
-
Of course, you felt that you'd never see Viktor again.
Even if somehow he survived the critical condition he lay struggling in, you convinced yourself that he wouldn't want to speak to you. Perhaps out of self preservation. Perhaps out of genuine belief.
A knock at the door was already uncommon. And, certainly, a knock that specific. Gentle, apprehensive. You stumbled out of bed with an undeniable sense of neuroticism, convincing yourself of the knocks familiarity whilst simultaneously convincing yourself of your own delusion.
But, there he was.
Wrapped in a robe, which to you appeared regal, the blue sky beyond framing his pale face, was Viktor. A songbird carried the news, then another, but your words seemed inadequate compared to theirs.
He raises a hand to cup your face, the flesh replaced with something firm, something running with a strength he himself barely comprehends.
You place a kiss on his palm.
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uzurakis · 1 year ago
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REACTIONS TO YOUR FIRST KISS FOR ‘EM!
featuring: itadori yuuji. megumi fushiguro. yuuta okkotsu. gojo satoru.
n. back with the short drabbles for each character! i also made a geto ver. but i scrapped it cause i didn’t feel it as much as these ones. maybe i’ll make another one in a short time :)
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GOJO SATORU. his reaction was anything but conventional. instead of being taken aback or surprised, he met your embrace with a playful glint in his eyes, a smirk dancing on his lips.
"was that all you've got?" he teased, his voice a velvet whisper that sent a shiver down your spine. his fingers traced a tantalizing path along your jawline, his touch igniting a spark of desire that lingered in the air between you. you couldn't help but laugh at his cheeky remark, a mixture of amusement and affection bubbling up within you. "oh, is someone asking for more, satoru?" you replied, your own tone laced with playful challenge as you leaned in closer, the space between you charged with a magnetic tension.
satoru’s smirk widened into a knowing grin, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. "maybe i am," he admitted, his voice a low rumble that sent a thrill racing through you. "but only if you're up for it."
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ITADORI YUUJI. one second thought, he should be processing what happened just now. one second later, his body simply moved on its own to kiss you back. everything happened so fast—a liking exchanged between the two of you in a matter of seconds. the adrenaline in itadori’s veins wouldn't stop flowing until he made the decision to lean in for a kinder, softer kiss.
“you just kissed me twice already,” you giggled as he grin sheepishly, “did you realize that?”. he remarked with a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes, “then you just lost the race against me.”
"lost the race, huh?" you retorted. "well, i guess i'll just have to pick up the pace then." with a lightness in your heart and a newfound determination, you leaned in, closing the distance between your lips with gentle yet purposeful intent. "there," you whispered, "now it's even." itadori chuckled softly at your playful remark, his eyes sparkling with a mix of amusement and adoration. "well, if that case," he began, his voice laced with a hint of mischief, "i suppose i'll have to make it three then.”
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YUUTA OKKOTSU. as your lips met yuuta’s in a tender, unexpected kiss, his initial reaction was one of gentle surprise. his heart fluttered with a mix of emotions, unsure of how to respond in that fleeting moment of intimacy.
his smile broke through the uncertainty, a soft, genuine expression that mirrored the warmth of your touch. "well, that was unexpected," he murmured, his voice laced with amusement as a small laugh escaped his lips. you couldn't help but giggle at his reaction, the sound echoing softly in the quiet space between you. "sorry, i couldn't resist," you confessed, your cheeks flushing with a mixture of embarrassment and affection.
yuuta's laughter grew, a melodic sound that filled the air with joy and lightness. "no need to apologize," he reassured you, his gaze meeting yours with a tender warmth. "i think unexpected kisses might just be my new favorite thing." at last, as he gazed into your eyes, he realized that in that moment, he didn't need to have all the answers. all he knew was that he wanted to savor this shared intimacy, to revel in the beauty of your touch and the warmth of your presence.
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MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. no words, just a silent pause with his gaze fixed on yours. as the red colour on his face became more apparent, his pupils widened and his brows lifted. megumi's mouth was already open, but no words came out of it. he could feel his heart thumping against his chest, and the sound echoed in the silence between them. did your lips really just brush his? perhaps it was just his illusion. was that it? or was it not?
"i'm sorry if you're not comfortable with, yeah, that." after a few seconds of stillness, you hesitantly spoke out. "i should've asked—" but your words were stopped short by his exclaimed 'no!'. "i just," megumi felt like he could sink into the depths of the moment, drowning in the ocean of feelings that swirled within, "i thought you weren't into that kind of... stuff."
you too grew quiet after his words, but before you could respond, he steadily got closer and closer, until the only thing that separated the two of you was a small breath you exhaled. "can i?" he asked gently, there was a raw sense of longing, a weakness exposed for you to see, and it touched something deep inside him. the only response you offered was a nod, which is more than enough to signal his lips to touch yours for the second time. and this time, megumi just made a confession of emotions too profound to be articulated.
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@uzurakis
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meiluu · 1 year ago
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Edward Cullen's Mate
Edward Cullen/ Afab!Reader
cw: SMUT 18+ MDNI, oral f receiving, unprotected p in v sex, edward breaks the headboard hehe, and edward is completely enamored with you.
(I need to get this out of my system, been thinking about him a lot recently...)
this was supposed to be a short drabble but i just couldn't shut up
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reader pov.
Being with edward has been nothing but a beautiful and slightly chaotic ride. With finding out he wasn't human instead was a hundred something year old vampire along with the rest of his family. And then as your relationship grew as did the romance between you too, and that grew tenfold when the magnetic pull you felt for one another was because you were mates.
Fated to be together, equals, crafted for one another, you both completing one another and that never felt truer than now.
Body underneath his stony one, feverishly chilly lips leave a scorching trail of kisses from your neck to your bare chest. edward inhales your scent, and scent that didn't have him craving your blood like he was supposed to instead it calmed and aroused his body in a tantalizing mix. His eyes flick up to yours, pupils nearly completely dilated leaving behind a dark amber ring at the edge of his iris. Love and lust in his gaze has your body warming, and you knew that your gaze mimicked his.
"So beautiful. I'll never get enough of you my love." his word are spoken with nothing but truth. Leaving your shared gaze he continues his journey down your torso, soft hands caressing your hips squeezing the plump flesh before leading down your thighs to the backs of your knees. Mouth leaving behind love-bites upon your skin, each one sending jolts of heat straight to your core, evidence of your arousal staining the insides of your thighs.
Going lower with each kiss pulling your legs apart allowing him to sink further down, mouth right above where you need him most. A blush covers your cheeks and the tops of your breast, "Edward- you don't have to do that."
His gaze snaps up to you, and the sight of his head between your thighs with the full intention to bring you pleasure has you holding back a shiver. "I want to, God you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this. Can I ?" Why would you ever deny that? Nodding your head edward goes back to staring at your weeping cunt.
Hands tighten their grip on you before he's pushing them further apart and up, completely baring you to him. You watch as his mouth descends until you feel his tongue lick up from the bottom to your clit. softly wrapping the bud with his lips gently sucking on the bud, sending a shockwave of pleasure through you. A moan falls from your slightly swollen lips, seeing your obvious satisfaction edward continues his ministrations. Swirling his tongue a sucking in your clit, body lighting up in euphoria as a ball of pleasure settles into the pit of your stomach. Shaky breaths leave you as your gaze stays locked onto edward’s head, vision blurring around the edges as your mind begins to wholly submit to him.
Then his mouth is leaving your clit all too soon, but you don't have to wonder for long where he's going next. His tongue delves straight into your cunt, mouth covering the bottom half of you. Your eyes widen before rolling back into your head at the mind-numbing sensation of his tongue massaging your walls, pushing in and out of you. Then one of his hands is leaving your thighs and begins to swirl your forgotten clit between his fingers.
Your breathing is uneven breast rising and falling as you try to catch your breath. Heart racing as your body becomes so pliant and warm under his devotion. Your moans and cries of his name bounce around the room, hands going to his soft hair to tangle themselves within them, hoping to keep yourself grounded. The knot within your belly only tightens with each moment that passes. Your mind lagging behind as it gets lost within this pleasure, you realize a little late that edwards tongue has left you but his cool fingers have entered and taken the spot where his tongue once was. Curling up sweetly rubbing into your g-spot, a near-cry of pleasure leaves you at this.
The ball of pleasure that had settled within your core tightened and then you where cumming, as your cunt milked his fingers as they continued to abuse your g-spot. With your high fizzling out of you, thighs shaking with the intensity of your orgasm. Your eyes open looking down to see edward leaning his head against the one thigh he still had a grip on, fingers still buried within you and a smirk of satisfaction upon his face.
"You look so gorgeous when you cum." giving the inside of your thigh a sweet kiss before he starts to sit up, wrapping your legs around his waste. Face rising up to yours, his mouth comes down giving you a kiss that leaves you breathless. "Do you want to keep going?"
"Yes-yes, please." no shame, your words are full of need and edwards smirk brightens. "Of course my love, I am at your whim."
Reaching down taking edward by surprise, you grip his hardness, a groan leaves him at your soft hold. Lining him with your cunt you let him slowly sink into you. Your head falls further into the pillow as edward grits his teeth hoping to keep himself in control.
He stretches you out just perfectly, filling you up with no space left and your walls wrap so beautifully around him, so warm and wet and oh so welcoming to his cock. You were both made for one another as you slot together- bodies entwined with one another. "Move, Edward please." as your words leave you, he is obeying.
With near flawless movements he starts a slow yet deep pace, bottoming out to the hilt. Each thrust has you keening in utter ecstasy body lit aflame. But his pace begins to pick up speed as your cunt continues to push him to his limits by squeezing him, and with every pull out of you, your walls are trying to suck him back in. God he never knew he could feel like this, so wholly enraptured, this was his new drug and Edward knew that he would never want to part from it.
Your thighs tighten around his waist, arms leaving the bedsheets to latch onto his back. Nails digging into his stony muscle, as your head buries into his neck where his scent is strongest. Your sounds of pleasure are right by his ear, the most beautiful song he's ever heard. His arms leave your waist in favor of the headboard, harshly gripping onto the mahogany. Edward moans along with you as he tilts his pelvis down and up, kissing your g-spot with the tip of his cock. And with his pelvis hitting your clit with every thrust back into your cunt.
Your arousal leaks out staining the fronts of his thighs along with the sheets beneath you, your heady scent filling the space around you two. Edward feels the head board snap then crumble within his grasp and not a moment after that does he feel your cunt quiver as you cum, walls milking him as a gush of your arousal stains his thighs. An unfiltered moan falls from edward, completely in shock at this sensation pace becoming frenzied as he pistons into you with the sole intention to cum within your cunt. Your head has fallen back into the pillow body buzzing in overstimulation as your third orgasm nears.
"Edward-please, please, I need it." words broken up by moans as you barely get them out. Edward's body hunches over yours, hands coming down from the shattered headboard to the sheets beside your head before quickly wrapping around your body. Pulling your chest against his, a hand against the small of your back the other at the base of your head.
His body trying to get as close to you as possible, trying to bury himself within you. Cock bullying your overstimulated and weeping cunt that continues to welcome him in with every thrust, pace now rougher and faster. Each time his cock bottoms out reaching the end of you your moans are punched out of you, mind having turned to mush. Your ears are hypnotized by the heady squelching sound of your cunt along with edwards moans of pure pleasure.
Edward feels the painfully tight knot of pleasure in his pelvis snap, cock swelling as he empties himself within you, eyes closing from the heavy orgasm. That orgasm grows tenfold with you cumming again, walls milking his cock in an attempt to ring him completely dry. Slowing down his thrusts as you both come down from your highs, coming to a stop as you are both left in the aftershocks of your orgasms. Gently bringing you back down to the bedsheets, turning to the side with you still within his embrace. feeling your racing heart against his chest.
Ever so softly he begins to place chaste kisses upon your skin along with 'I love you's, soon your body is lulled into unconsciousness, as edward continues to give his worship to your body. As you rest he lays protecting and watching over you and with every moment that passes does he fall more and more in love with you.
His mate, made just for him.
---
*not edited*
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vyainide · 8 months ago
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ౨ৎ monster trio & kissing
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ2024 ©1864RERUNS
includingㅤ━ㅤmonkey d. luffy, roronoa zoro, sanji vinsmoke
tag(s)&warning(s). drabbles, gn! reader, sfw, fluff?, what constitutes as fluff idk girl, established relationship w/ zoro and sanji, luffy is a secret third thing i guess?, stray 'kms' threat in sanji's part
from vyon. big up to alex turner and no. 1 party anthem; luffy's is marginally longer because he's my most specialiest boy and he deserves special treatment and i struggled way too hard with characterising sanji in a relationship aside from all the embarrassing simping stuff, he's just amazingly pathetic, i don't wna talk about it, the main star here is luffy
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like a lot of other things, kissing comes easy to luffy. though he's never had any couples around him as he grew up, he's been on enough adventures to catch a number of couples share a few quick pecks here and there. sabo's once mentioned kissing as well— a sort of distant memory that comes back when your lips first land on his cheek on your supposed first date. it might be sabo's fault, or his parents, that luffy believes kissing to be bleugh before he's tried it. though in sabo's defence, there wasn't a child in the world that would want to see their parents kissing. still, it isn't as bad as sabo made it out to be, luffy thinks as his wide–eyed gaze follows you back onto the sunny. there's something in the shape of your lips sunburnt onto his cheek, crisp just underneath the scar he'd gotten as a child.
the old scar is a smudge between a burning hypersensitivity and a cold unfeeling stretch of skin; your lips brush against the scar and it tingles itself into simultaneous death and rebirth. burning, melting— luffy presses a hand against his cheek and feels full. then his lips pull into a grin and the burn of your lips spreads out, pushing through every fold of skin as his hand reaches out for the sunny and he flings himself into the air, allowing the feeling to crawl through sinew.
luffy is no stranger to touching— he does it in painstaking excess, but there's a childhood teaching in him that kissing is not the same as touching. he stares at nami for a while, wondering if the instinct to feel her is the same as it is for you; she gets annoyed by his unwavering stare and swats at his head. he decides it's a no.
kissing is meant to be con... consumption? conservative— constellation? no, it's one of those 'c' words that he doesn't really remember, but he knows that he's supposed to ask you if you want him to kiss you. he doesn't understand the idea of waiting for permission but he'd really hate it if you were grossed out, like ace once told him would happen if kissing happened unconventionally(?) (that's not right he thinks), so he asks you one day.
as simple as he gets, luffy comes up to you and asks. "do you want me to kiss you?"
you splutter in shock and you hear movements on the deck still. luffy thinks he'd maybe forgotten something that the people in foosa village taught him but he waits for you to answer anyways. it doesn't come because sanji is aiming a kick at his head and shouting at him about the delicate intricacies of romance and courting. through all the dizzying flips of colour as he jumped away from sanji's attack, a kaleidoscope of the things he loves the most (the sea, his ship, his crew) in his eyes, he sees the hesitant embarrassment that colours your cheeks in. the burn that you've placed in him sparking up a fuse between the two of you at the slip of his tongue against gums and he laughs, swinging away and crash landing on whatever usopp was building out of sticks.
you return to him at a more private time, slip up next to him wordlessly— he doesn't say anything so you fear that he'd forgotten.
"do you still mean it?" your shoulder knocks against his.
"mean what?"
you turn to look at him, your eyes flickering down. "when you asked if i wanted you to kiss me."
that gets his attention, his head turns to you with a flexibility only he has— his eyes blinking at you carefully. "i did, did you make up your mind?" his lips pulled up into a grin, "you want me to kiss you now?"
you wish he had a less abrasive way of asking, but the answer is the same regardless. you nod and luffy takes.
you're not sure what you're expecting at this point. you know how luffy is about psychical touch, he's no stranger to it— everything he's ever known, he's ran his hands over. the amount of times you've been knocked down to his reckless habit of flinging himself into your back, you expect the same thing here.
luffy inspects you for a moment, the corners of his lips pulling down before twitching into a pout, "it's not gonna hurt, silly, why'd you look like that?" he shifts his body to face yours, his knees knocking against yours as he pushes his face closer.
then, his lips stretch outwards— his damn devil fruit— and it's so comical how his puckered lips pulled towards you to press gently against your cheek that you're laughing when it snaps back into place. luffy laughs along with you for a moment. a gooey comfort strained inside of you, your hands pressed against his cheeks— you find a simple joy in pulling his face, and then you find a better joy in leaning yourself closer to press your lips against his.
you're giving so luffy takes. he shifts onto his knees for better leverage to lean into you— the movements are stiff and careless. he's less kissing you and more just pushing his face into yours but you can feel the strain of his smile against your lips so no matter. being luffy, he pushes and he pushes greedily until your hands move from his face to the deck to keep yourself from falling.
it's so stupid how, even though this sucks, you want to make an occupation of kissing him.
it becomes a habit for him to kiss you no matter how far away you are by taking advantage of his devil fruit. eventually, he does get better; you realise why after a pointed comment from robin that hints to the fact that he'd asked her for kissing tips.
zoro is all lingering touch, heated spaces, and fizzling affection. it's not often that he gives you the pleasure of being skin close with him— not that you mind. he's eye candy enough, grunting and sweating in a handstand with barbells methodically placed on his feet and boxes of miscellaneous supplies for added weight. he's never been the type to need the world in his life; everything he's done has always been to prove a sick something to himself, to his strength.
his devotion is similar. there's no place for prying eyes in your relationship when there's you, the fulfilling adoration, and zoro. sometimes, there is also his swords and other times, there is an overwhelming luffy (who knows no boundaries).
he's always more forgiving with you, but he draws the line at excessive pda and you respect that boundary. fleeting contact has never been zoro's strong suit, he's an all or nothing soldier so when it comes to kissing, he likes the ready privacy that allows him to indulge. so he ignores the pointed staring, how you've made yourself comfortable on the benches in the crow's nest; your body sprawled out following the curve of the seats as your face turns red from how you have your head hanging off the cushioned planks.
he grunted, turning his head back down to the floor before he loses his balance.
you start counting, "one, two, three." he's well past those measly numbers but he lets you do as you please. "four, five, one, three, sixty–five, twelve, two, negative five, twenty, fourteen, nine—"
he folds his legs down against his chest, letting the weights fall to the floor with a thud. "alright," he straightened up, "you've made your point." an unimpressed look crosses his face.
your lips curled up into a grin and then you pull yourself up, throwing his towel at him. he takes the hit to the face and presses his hand over the fabric to wipe away the sweat and falls next to you, sliding his body down for his head to lay on your thigh.
"ewwww," your face scrunched up, "you're sticking to me." his hair is clinging to his forehead, interrupted strokes of green paint against his temple.
"shut it."
a laugh is quiet on your lips as zoro falls into the comfort of the moment, his eye closing. you trace over his face and then you crane yourself down, ignoring the ache in your spine and neck, your lips fall onto his forehead, "one." you counted. then onto the space between his furrowed brows, "two," his nose, "three". over his eye, "four." you pull back just in time to feel his lashes scratch over your lips.
a heavy judgement in his eye, stern and serious— he curls an arm up to press against your nape and pulls you down. there's a weight that's tethering you to the moment in the curves of his arm and a light–headedness that makes the stillness burst at the seams as zoro ignites everything alive. it's a slow and careful thing, how his head rises to meets yours and then how it tilts so he can slide his lips onto yours.
his arm drags across your neck until you feel moisture in the contour of his calloused hand, fingers pushes into your hair as zoro leans back from your lips, humming. "five." he says, a whisper of a smirk on his lips. a flicker of tender violence in how he fists your hair at its base and pulls your head back to give himself access to your neck. all or nothing, you're reminded, he drags this kind of simple affection into long, several moments.
he continues counting, picking up where you left off until you both hear luffy calling for zoro to help him fish and your relationship mellows back down, protected in loud secrecy.
there's always a strange line to tread when it comes to sharing intimacy with sanji. he's the quickest to melt when it's passing pecks, a second touch of your chapped lips against his cheek.
it depends on the atmosphere of the moment. just as quick as you can puppeteer him to pliant stuttering, sanji is more than capable of wearing you down to your barest core with his appreciative methodical gestures.
what everyone else is most familiar with are the fast moments of sanji softening when you offhandedly touch him. a simple smile on your lips as he gracefully sets your plate down in front of you, ease in the way your head turns to face him and you give his cheek a grateful peck, a quick kiss against his lips when you're splitting ways upon docking on a new island. it's enough of a spectacle that luffy makes the same laughing racket when you kiss sanji casually to see him twirl with new founded energy and hearts in his eyes; that zoro has a trademarked insult ready on his lips whenever it happens; that nami owns a jar that sanji has to put money into whenever he starts his weird dance.
it's almost easy to forget how sanji reciprocates. love has always been a second language to him— it's burrowed in his every unhurried moment when cooking, it's a burn that drove an abscess in him when he was younger, it's straightened postures and the clean lines of his stature for every perverted thought that plagues him. his every move carries an echo, a drumming confession that rings i love you, i love you, i love you until the words are bleeding raw into each other and you feel undeserving in his passion that stinks of cigarette smoke.
the disturbance of the lit end against a clear canvas of blue skies, his arms folded over the handrails of the sunny, the strokes of grey smoke that taints the pristine clouds that rest languidly; a rigid lock on his features until you're brought to his attention with your shoes clicking against the deck. his face shifts into something more delicate— full of feeling that's different from his usual excitable manner.
"bad for you," you begin with a light–hearted scold, plucking the cigarette away from his lips. he turns to you, his back against the handrails.
his restless hands search for touch and find an answering comfort on your skin, turning up and down over the shape of your hips until his thumbs dig into the waistband of your bottoms. "don't," he pleads, "you know it kills me when you're disappointed."
your lips turn upwards, "should i cry?"
"please." his voice wavers between a weak warning and aching desperation as his head falls onto your shoulder, pulling you closer.
the smell of smoke is cauterised into his skin— you don't mind it and you don't mind him smoking, but you think it's funny to act like you do if it has sanji like this. his hair scratches against your skin, tickling an itch he'd placed in you long ago and you thread your straying hand into the strands as his fingers press demandingly into your hips. following your motion, sanji turns his head to look up at you.
a furrow in his brows and a plea in his eyes.
"you know i'm teasing," you lean down, pressing a kiss against his lips as an attempt to appease him, "but you know i'll have to kill myself if chopper comes and redirects his disappointment at me again." you sigh, weary at just the topic. "i mean seriously, he looks at me like i'm the one shoving cigarettes into your mouth and forcing you to inhale."
sanji tries to focus on your words but your lips have left him cold when you pull away; suddenly, being skin to skin isn't enough and he's trying to placate the greed that is curdling inside of him. it works for the better half of a second, his thumbs pull out of your waistband and his arms wrapped around you, one around your waist and the other dressed against your back.
he ducks his head down and settles his craving.
sanji is gentle all around, careful to make even his affections palatable. he starts slow, testing waters that he's skinny dipped in previously and when he finds no rejection, he moves in deeper. he's a lifelong hunger that can never hope to be satiated when close to you, unwavering in a promise that has wedding bells ringing deep in your bones.
there's a new memory of a life he wishes for you, brought to life and fed by the taste of you. for now, he has to pull away as the ship rocks into a tempestuous sea and panicked feet disrupt the echo of the bells. nami starts to shout orders. he pulls away. his heart stutters in time with the unpredictable storm. sanji trips over his feet on his way to pull up the sails and he starts twirling when it makes you laugh.
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colouredbyd · 2 months ago
Text
Of Rain And Gentle Hands
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poly!moonwater x fem!reader
Summary: A rough day leaves you fraying at the edges, but Remus and Regulus are there, steady and soft with gentle hands and familiar warmth. In their presence, even the heaviest days feel a little lighter.
Warnings: mentions of a bad days, lots of rain and some thunder, getting hit with a statue, injuries, abit of blood mention? so much hurt/comfort
Word count: 6.4k (this was supposed to be a drabble..oops)
Authors note: this isn’t a request; someone mentioned they were having a rough day, so i wrote this for them—and for anyone who needs a bit of comfort. i hope it helps ✨💐💞
masterlist
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"Fucking hell."
The words slipped out the moment your eyes opened. You woke to the sound of rain hammering against the castle walls, like a warning.
Not the soft, whispering kind that slipped gently against windowpanes, but a heavy, unrelenting downpour that battered the grounds and turned them into a mess of mud and swirling puddles. It was the sort of rain that demanded to be heard, the kind that soaked you to the bone and lingered long after you'd shaken it off. 
It started small—a missed alarm that sent you rushing through your morning routine, half-brushing your hair while wrestling with your robes, only to stumble into the Great Hall just as breakfast was ending. The remnants of toast and pumpkin juice were being whisked away by house-elves, leaving only crumbs and the lingering scent of something warm and buttery that you hadn’t gotten to taste. 
Your stomach gave a soft, miserable growl, and you clutched your bag tighter, quickening your pace towards Transfiguration.
The halls were slick with rainwater, puddles trailing in from students who hadn’t bothered to dry their shoes. You nearly slipped twice, catching yourself on the banister just as Peeves cackled from somewhere above, tossing ink pellets that exploded on impact. 
One landed squarely on your shoulder, blooming dark and violet against your robes. You swore under your breath, scrubbing at the stain to no avail. 
By the time you stumbled into class, McGonagall’s stern eyes had already settled on you, lips pressed into that thin, disapproving line that made your stomach twist. "Late again," she said, not unkindly, but with a weight that made your cheeks burn. You muttered an apology and slid into your seat, ignoring the curious glances from your classmates.
You tried to settle into the rhythm of the lesson, to let the incantations and flick of wands drown out the growing ache in your chest. But it didn’t help. Not when your quill snapped midway through note-taking, splattering ink across your parchment. Not when the person beside you slid their chair just out of reach when you asked to borrow another. Not when McGonagall called on you to demonstrate a spell and your mind went blank, the silence stretching long enough that someone in the back of the room snickered.
The rain only grew heavier, pounding against the windows, shadows flickering across the stone walls like ghosts. You watched it instead of listening, chin propped in your hand, eyes tracing the rivers of water that streaked the glass. It felt fitting somehow—that the sky had decided to unravel the same way you were. 
You barely heard the bell when it rang, signaling the end of class. You gathered your things slowly, ink-stained hands shoving crumpled parchment into your bag. You were so distracted that you almost missed the sound of familiar voices just outside the door.
"She looked miserable today," Remus was saying, his voice low and thoughtful. "Did you see her in Transfiguration?"
There was a pause, followed by a sigh you recognized instantly. "I saw," Regulus replied, his tone softer than you’d ever heard it. "I don’t think she wanted anyone to."
You pushed the door open with a quiet sigh, the murmur of voices from your last class still echoing in your mind, but fading as the door clicked shut behind you. The corridors of the castle were quieter now, the hum of the day already starting to slip into a more serene stillness. 
With each step, the weight of the classroom’s tension seemed to lift from your shoulders, though it left a lingering unease in its wake. You walked down the hall, your footsteps muted on the cold stone floor, your thoughts a tangled mess of fragments and half-formed ideas.
Your hands pressed against your temples, fingertips digging in as if the pressure might still the riot of thoughts clamoring in your mind. It felt like a storm—unrelenting and unyielding—raging behind your closed eyes, waves of frustration crashing and receding only to surge up again, fiercer each time. 
The library's silence was thin and fragile, a brittle shell that did nothing to soften the chaos clawing its way through your skull. You inhaled slowly, deliberately, letting the musty scent of parchment and old leather flood your senses, grounding you to the present, to the here and now, as if that alone might tether you to something solid. 
The world around you dimmed and blurred, fading to shadows at the edges of your consciousness, until it was only the sound of your breathing, the press of your palms, the ache nestled behind your eyes.
You did not hear the footsteps at first—not over the echo of your heartbeat thrumming insistently in your ears. It was only when they stopped, abrupt and deliberate, just in front of you, that your eyes snapped open, blinking against the harsh light filtering through the high-arched windows. 
The figure before you swam into focus, tall and sharp-featured, a boy whose face was a vague smear of familiarity from Charms, always lingering at the back of the classroom with a cluster of others who wore their superiority like a second skin.
He was smirking, arms crossed over his chest, leaning back just enough to telegraph indifference, though his eyes gleamed with something sharper, something hungrier. 
"Oh, look who it is," he drawled, his voice cutting through the stillness like a blade honed for this exact purpose. His gaze raked over you, assessing and dismissing all at once, like you were a curiosity left out in the rain, half-ruined and forgotten. "Didn’t realize the library was hosting charity cases today."
Your jaw tightened, muscles coiling with the force of restraint as you straightened in your seat, eyes narrowing to thin slits. "Not in the mood," you replied, voice low and unyielding, each syllable a warning etched with glass edges.
He scoffed, an airy, careless sound that grated against your fraying patience, and leaned further against the table’s edge, fingers drumming a careless rhythm that seemed almost mocking. 
"Clearly," he said, eyes glittering with amusement. "You look like you crawled out of the Black Lake. What happened? Peeves finally decide you weren’t worth the trouble and tossed you in?"
The insult landed with a sharpness that you felt in your teeth, something biting and venomous curling around your ribs. "Why don’t you mind your own business?" you bit out, voice steady but laced with iron.
His smile only widened, stretching too far, baring teeth that gleamed unnaturally in the library’s soft light. 
"Oh, but you make it so easy," he purred, eyes never leaving yours, drinking in every flicker of emotion that slipped through your carefully constructed walls. "Trotting in here, dripping all over the place like some sort of stray. It’s pathetic."
The word landed like a blow, sharper than it should have been, the kind of cut that finds old scars and splits them wide open again. Heat flared across your cheeks, rising unbidden and unrelenting, and you straightened your spine, forcing your chin up, eyes locked onto his with a kind of ferocity you had not known you possessed. 
"Better a stray than a vulture," you shot back, each word sharpened to a point. "You only circle around when you smell blood."
For a fraction of a second—so fleeting it might have been imagined—you saw his expression falter, the smile slipping just enough to reveal the raw edge of something brittle and breakable beneath. But it vanished just as quickly, replaced with a sneer that was colder, more calculated. 
He leaned in then, closing the space between you with a deliberate slowness, eyes glinting with something far too sharp to be mere irritation. "Watch your mouth," he whispered, the words dropping between you like shards of glass, glittering and dangerous. "Wouldn’t want to get yourself hurt."
You met his gaze unflinchingly, your laugh escaping before you could stop it, hollow and humorless, echoing off the towering shelves that loomed above you. "By you?" you returned, voice steady and unyielding, something steely threading through your tone. His eyes flashed, just for a moment, and you watched as the mask slipped.
The silence stretched between you, taut and crackling, suspended in the dust-mote light of the library’s ancient stillness. And neither of you moved, neither of you breathed, locked in a stalemate that felt as if it could shatter the world if either of you dared to break it.
His hand shot out faster than you could react, shoving the stack of books off the table. They crashed to the floor, scattering parchment and quills in every direction. You shot to your feet, the chair scraping loudly against the stone. "What the hell is your problem?" you demanded.
He didn’t back down, eyes flashing. "My problem is you thinking you belong here," he spat, voice low and venomous.
The words struck with sharp precision, and before you knew it, his hand shot out again, shoving you back. 
Your foot slipped on the wet patch of floor you’d tracked in earlier, and you stumbled, the edge of the table catching your side before you crashed to the ground. Pain flared up your ribs, sharp and immediate.
He only scoffed, the sound dripping with disdain, stepping over the chaos he had created as if it were nothing more than a mere inconvenience. His shoes clicked sharply against the stone floor, each step deliberate and unhurried, echoing in the stillness of the library as if mocking the silence itself. 
"Guess I was right," he drawled, his tone a cruel melody, laced with satisfaction. "You're just like them. Always making a mess, always in the way." He flicked a glance over your sprawled form, eyes gleaming with a condescending superiority, before he turned away. 
Your body lay among the scattered books and spilled ink, the mess you’d been swept into. Every part of you felt a stinging reminder of how he’d destroyed your space with little more than a careless motion. 
The ache in your side pulsed with each breath, but it was the heat of rage that burned hotter and more persistent than the pain. The insult settled deep within, settling like a knot in your chest. 
The space between your ribs grew tight with frustration, and before you could register what was happening, your hand shot out—fingers grasping for something to hold onto, something to throw, to make him feel the weight of his arrogance.
The first thing you could reach was a heavy brass paperweight, shaped like a roaring lion. Its surface was slick with ink, the liquid still glistening, as if daring you to make a choice. Without hesitation, you hauled yourself to your feet, your blood pounding in your ears like a war drum.
"Hey fucker!" you shouted, your voice harsh, cracking through the air between you like a whip. He didn’t turn, but the sound of his feet slowing—just slightly—was enough to make your pulse quicken. He was too confident, too sure of himself. 
He turned slowly, that arrogant smirk still etched across his face, as if he already knew what you were going to do. 
"What’s this? You’ve got a little fight in you after all?" His voice was thick with amusement, almost mocking in its tone, but there was something in his eyes, something too sharp to be simple jest.
You didn’t wait for him to finish his words. With all the force you could muster, you hurled the statue at his temple.
It collided with a sickening crack, the sound of it like a thunderclap in the quiet library. His body jerked as the impact landed, his eyes wide with surprise before they rolled back, his legs buckling beneath him. 
He crumpled to the floor with a heavy thud, a grotesque kind of grace as he collapsed among the scattered books, ink stains spreading beneath him like dark, spreading vines.
The silence that followed felt impossibly long, suffocating, like the air had thickened and time itself had slowed to a crawl. Your breath came in ragged bursts, each inhale sharp and jagged as adrenaline surged through your veins. Your eyes never left him, your gaze fixed on the motionless body sprawled before you, the blood pounding in your head, drowning out everything else.
"What did you do?" A voice sliced through the thick tension, sharp and accusing.
You spun around, heart hammering in your chest, and found Madam Pince standing at the end of the row of shelves. Her eyes were wide with a mixture of disbelief and horror, her mouth agape. "You—you assaulted him!" she hissed, her words laced with more venom than you expected from the usually stern librarian.
"I—I didn't mean—" you started, but the words caught in your throat. The pain in your side had intensified, a cruel reminder of how you had ended up on the floor in the first place, but there was no time to explain. Not with the way Madam Pince’s face twisted, a storm of disbelief and fury reflected in her gaze.
"Up!" she barked, her voice sharp enough to snap through the haze of confusion in your mind. "Now! To the infirmary, before I call Filch to drag you there!"
Her hand was suddenly gripping your arm, her fingers surprisingly strong, pulling you out from behind the shelves. You barely had time to snatch your bag from the floor, the weight of it a distant thought as she dragged you down the corridor. 
"He started it," you muttered, barely able to get the words out as the ache in your ribs made it harder to breathe. "He was asking for it!"
Madam Pince sniffed dismissively, her nostrils flaring with indignation. "I don’t want to hear it. You’re lucky I’m taking you to the infirmary instead of McGonagall’s office. The last thing we need is another one of your little outbursts."
Your chest tightened. The weight of the consequences crashed over you, and your mind buzzed with a thousand unfinished thoughts. Had you really hit him that hard? Would he be okay? What would happen to you now? You couldn’t quite make sense of the panic rising in your chest, only the sense of dread that followed you like a shadow.
The doors to the infirmary loomed ahead, their iron handles gleaming dully under the flickering candlelight. Madam Pince pushed them open with a swift flick of her wrist, practically shoving you inside with little regard for your personal space. "Poppy!" she called, her voice sharp and clipped. "We’ve got another one."
Madam Pomfrey appeared almost instantly, her face softening as she took in the sight of you, her expression morphing from irritation to concern the moment she registered your pain.
 "Oh dear, what happened?" she asked, rushing to your side. Her hands reached for you, gentle but firm as she guided you toward one of the empty beds.
You opened your mouth to speak, but the words caught in your throat again. You weren’t sure what to say, not when you were still reeling from the events that had just unfolded. Instead, you sank into the bed, your head spinning as the weight of everything settled over you. 
The last thing you saw before your eyes fluttered closed was Madam Pince’s disapproving glare and Madam Pomfrey’s warm, concerned face.
Madam Pomfrey clicked her tongue, guiding you gently to one of the beds. "Let’s have a look, dear," she murmured, her hands soft and warm as they probed your side. "Bit of a bruise, I reckon. Lucky nothing’s broken."
You barely heard her. Your mind was still in the library, standing over the crumpled body of that boy, the brass lion still slick with ink in your hand.
The footsteps grew louder, the door creaking open just enough for two shadows to spill across the floor. Your heart leapt into your throat. You held your breath, back stiffening against the pillows as the curtain was drawn back.
But it wasn’t Remus. It wasn’t Regulus either.
McGonagall stood there, tall and unyielding, her expression a mask of iron. Behind her, Professor Flitwick hovered, his gaze flitting nervously between you and the floor, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.
“Miss Y/L/N,” McGonagall began, her voice clipped and sharp, each word falling like the crack of a whip. “I’ve just been informed that you attacked another student in the library. With a…decorative statue.” 
Her eyebrow arched, and for a moment, it almost looked like she was impressed. Almost. “Care to explain yourself?”
You swallowed hard, fingers curling into the white sheets beneath you. “He started it,” you replied, voice steady despite the fluttering panic building in your chest. “He pushed me first. I just…finished it.”
Professor Flitwick’s mustache twitched, and he glanced up at McGonagall. “It was quite the sight,” he murmured, almost to himself. “Pince said he was out cold before he hit the floor.”
McGonagall shot him a look that silenced him instantly. Her eyes returned to you, piercing and unreadable. “Violence is not the answer, Miss Y/L/N. No matter the provocation.”
Your jaw clenched. “Would you have preferred I just let him throw me around!?”
Her eyes narrowed, lips thinning. “I would have preferred you act with the decorum and restraint expected of a Hogwarts student,” she replied smoothly. “That being said…” She glanced down at the bruise blossoming along your ribs, at the faint smudge of blood on your collar. Something softened in her gaze, barely perceptible. “I will look into the matter. Thoroughly.”
A breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding slipped from your lungs. McGonagall gave a curt nod to Madam Pomfrey, who had returned with a vial of deep blue liquid.
 “Drink this, dear, it’ll help with the pain,” she said gently, eyeing the two boys hovering over you with thinly veiled suspicion. She bustled away, muttering something about students and their constant need for brawling.
The vial was cool and smooth in your hand, its contents swirling a murky, iridescent shade that shimmered faintly in the low light of the infirmary. You took a breath, steadying yourself before tipping it back. The liquid burned as it slid down your throat, searing its way into your chest and spreading outwards, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. Your eyes watered, but you forced it down, breathing through the pain. 
Regulus’s eyes never left you—not for a second. His gaze was sharp and calculating, dark eyes scanning your face with meticulous precision, watching for every flinch, every wince, every slight tightening of your jaw.
Beside you, Remus’s hand stayed wrapped around yours, his grip firm and grounding. His thumb stroked gentle circles across your knuckles, a silent reassurance that tethered you to the moment, kept you from slipping beneath the weight of it all. 
His other hand came up to brush a stray hair from your forehead, his touch featherlight. "Breathe, darling," he murmured, voice soft but steady. "You’re alright. We’ve got you, my love"
You nodded, barely managing to blink away the sting in your eyes. Before you could find the words, Regulus spoke, his voice low and edged with a dangerous kind of calm. 
"Was it him?" he asked, his tone sharp enough to cut glass. "That boy who’s always running his mouth by the Charms corridor?" His jaw was clenched, hands flexing at his sides as if itching for violence.
You hesitated, the memory of it still raw, still pressing against your ribs like a bruise that refused to fade. Your silence, however, was all the confirmation Regulus needed. 
His expression darkened, eyes narrowing as something fierce and unyielding flickered across his face—pure, undiluted fury. His fists clenched at his sides, knuckles turning white. Without another word, he turned sharply, his footsteps already carrying him towards the door with a purposeful stride, each step heavier than the last.
"Regulus!" His name tore from your lips before you even realized you’d spoken, sharp and desperate. He paused mid-stride, shoulders stiff, back still turned to you.
"I’m not letting him get away with that," he said, voice low and flat, the promise of violence simmering just beneath the surface.
You forced yourself upright, the ache in your ribs flaring with the motion. Pain shot through your side, sharp and unrelenting, but you ignored it, jaw set with determination. 
Remus’s hand shot out to steady you, his grip gentle yet firm against your shoulder. "Easy, love, please be careful, you’re gonna give me a stroke," he whispered, his voice tender and protective, but you shrugged him off, eyes locked on Regulus’s rigid frame.
"You’re not doing anything," you snapped, breathless but unyielding. "I don’t need you fighting my battles!"
Regulus turned slowly, eyes like shards of ice as they met yours. The room seemed to grow colder, the air sharp and stinging. 
"It’s not about fighting your battles," he replied, his voice a whisper of something darker, something jagged and unyielding. "It’s about sending a message. No one touches you."
His gaze was relentless, daring you to argue, but before you could speak, Remus’s hand squeezed yours again, drawing your attention back to him. 
His eyes were softer, warm and steady, like sunlight breaking through a canopy of shadows. His thumb stroked along your wrist, his touch grounding you, pulling you back from the edge. "You don’t have to go through this alone," he murmured, voice low and intimate. "You know that, right? We’re here. Always. You’re ours."
Your shoulders sagged, the fight draining out of you in slow, aching waves. Remus’s hand never wavered, his fingers still interlaced with yours, and you leaned back against the pillows, exhaling a shuddering breath.
 "I know," you whispered, voice barely audible over the rain still hammering against the windowpanes. The sound was distant, muted by the steady rhythm of Remus’s touch and the shadowed intensity of Regulus’s stare. "I know, Remmy."
Regulus’s expression softened—just a fraction—but it was enough. He took a step closer, the tension in his shoulders melting away as he reached the edge of the bed. His hand hovered for a moment before resting lightly against your ankle, the touch gentle, almost reverent. 
His voice, when he spoke, was uncharacteristically soft, each word a quiet promise. "You rest, sweetheart," he said, the edge gone from his tone, replaced by something deeper, something that lingered between devotion and rage. "We’ll handle the rest."
"I don’t want you doing anything reckless, Reggie," you murmured, but your voice faltered, cracking under the weight of your own exhaustion. The ache in your ribs flared, sharp and unyielding, and your vision blurred for a moment, a wave of dizziness sweeping over you. Remus’s hand tightened around yours, steady and warm, his thumb still tracing that familiar path along your knuckles.
"Nothing reckless," Remus promised, his voice gentle but firm, eyes flicking to Regulus with a silent command. "Just…a conversation."
Regulus’s eyes glittered with something dangerous, something simmering just beneath the surface. "A very pointed conversation," he added, his tone almost casual, but you caught the steel threaded through his words.
You wanted to argue, to tell them both not to do anything stupid, but the exhaustion was pulling you under, your body sinking deeper into the mattress. Regulus’s hand remained on your ankle, solid and grounding, while Remus stayed close, his presence a steady warmth by your side.
You closed your eyes, the rain still tapping against the window, the sound mingling with the hushed whispers of their voices as they spoke low and steady, making promises you couldn’t hear but knew they would keep.
-
The rain still hadn’t let up by the time Regulus and Remus returned, shadows stretching long and thin across the stone floor as the sun dipped below the castle walls. 
You had drifted in and out of a fitful doze, the blue potion Madam Pomfrey had given you doing little to chase away the ache in your ribs or the throbbing behind your eyes. You barely registered the footsteps until they stopped right by your bedside.
“Well, look who’s still breathing.” Remus’s voice was warm, threaded with just enough teasing to make your lips twitch into something like a smile. His presence was a balm, the kind of gentle familiarity that soothed the ache still lingering in your ribs.
You opened your eyes, blinking against the dull light of the infirmary. Both of them stood at the edge of your bed—Remus with his hands stuffed into his pockets, eyes crinkled with worry he hadn’t quite managed to hide, and Regulus with his arms crossed, expression dark and unyielding, though something softer lingered around his eyes when he looked at you. 
It was a tenderness he reserved just for moments like this, when the world felt a little too sharp and your breathing a little too strained.
“We got clearance to take you back to the dorms,” Regulus said, voice softer than usual, though the authority in it was undeniable. “Pomfrey said you’re just stubborn enough to walk on your own.”
You snorted, the sound crackling through the air. “That’s the nicest thing she’s ever said about me.”
Remus chuckled, the sound low and warm, stepping forward to hook his arm gently under yours. “Up you go, love,” he murmured, his touch featherlight, careful not to press too hard against your ribs as he helped you swing your legs over the side of the bed. 
Regulus moved in silently on your other side, his hand firm and steady at your waist anchoring you, the warmth of his palm bleeding through the fabric of your robes. His fingers curled just slightly, as if to remind you he was there, unwavering and unyielding.
“Easy, sweetheart,” Remus murmured, voice a gentle hum beside your ear as you took your first unsteady step. His hand remained locked with yours, thumb rubbing soft, steady circles into your skin. “We’ve got you, always.”
The walk back to the dorm was slow and steady. Remus cracked light jokes every few steps, nudging your shoulder just enough to make you laugh and forget the twinge of pain that followed. He would glance at you after every joke, eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort, only relaxing when you smiled back. 
Regulus stayed quiet but watchful, his eyes flickering to every corner you turned as if expecting that boy to appear out of the shadows. Every time you stumbled or your breath hitched, his grip would tighten, fingers pressing just a bit more firmly against your waist. “Careful, amour,” he murmured once, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m not letting you fall.”
By the time you reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, you were sweating and slightly breathless, but you hadn’t fallen over, and you counted that as a win. The portrait swung open, and you were greeted with the warm glow of the common room fire, the scent of pine and cinnamon curling through the air. It felt like stepping into a sanctuary, the kind that smelled like comfort and looked like home.
“Right. To the sofa,” Remus declared, steering you gently forward. Regulus moved ahead, brushing past the students lounging around the fire until he reached the farthest, plushest couch, tucked away near the window. He fluffed the pillows with surprising delicacy before nodding toward it. “Your throne awaits, princess.”
You laughed, wincing slightly as you did. “I’m starting to think you two just want an excuse to fuss over me.”
“We don’t need an excuse,” Remus replied, his voice dropping to something softer as he eased you down onto the couch. His hand lingered at your back, warm and steady, his eyes never leaving yours. “But it helps.” He pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead, his lips warm and soft against your skin. “Anything for our girl.”
Regulus dropped beside you without hesitation, stretching his legs out in front of him and slinging one arm across the back of the couch, dangerously close to your shoulders. 
“We’re going to spoil you rotten, you know that?” he murmured, voice a soft promise against the crackle of the fire. “Anything you want, amour. Just say the word.”
Remus perched on the arm of the couch beside you, his hand reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair from your eyes. “Hot chocolate?” he asked softly, eyes bright with affection. “I can sneak down to the kitchens. Get the good stuff.”
You smiled, something warm and uncoiling blooming in your chest. “I wouldn’t say no.”
“Consider it done.” Remus pressed a gentle kiss to your temple before standing up, ruffling Regulus’s hair on his way out, earning him a sharp glare that melted the moment he caught your eyes again. Regulus’s hand stayed firm at your ankle, grounding you, holding you there with him.
“Comfortable?” he asked, his voice softer now, gaze searching your face for any trace of pain. When you nodded, his hand slid a fraction higher, squeezing just slightly. “Good. You deserve to be taken care of.”
His hand drifted to your cheek, thumb brushing softly against your skin. “And I’ll make sure you always are.”
Regulus arched a brow at you, his gaze sharp but soft at the edges.
 "So," he began, leaning back against the cushions with an almost casual grace, "you gonna tell us what actually happened today? Or do we have to go beat it out of someone?" His tone was light, teasing even, but there was an unmistakable edge to it—a promise hidden beneath the words.
You settled back into the cushions, the warmth of the fire seeping into your bones, unraveling the tension bit by bit. For a moment, you considered brushing it off, laughing it away like you always did—but the weight of the day pressed heavy on your chest, and with both of them watching you with that careful, unyielding concern, it all tumbled out before you could stop it.
You told them everything. 
The missed breakfast, the ink-splattered ambush by Peeves that left your robes stained and your mood fraying at the edges, McGonagall’s sharp gaze that seemed to pierce right through you, the whispers in the corridors that clung to you like shadows, louder than they had any right to be. 
And finally, the fight—how he’d shoved you, sneered at you, spat out words that dug deeper than you wanted to admit. How you’d just... snapped. How the statue had been the nearest thing, and you hadn’t even thought twice before swinging.
Regulus listened intently, his eyes never leaving your face, expression darkening with each word. His hand drifted to your knee, squeezing gently as if tethering you back from the memory. 
Remus’s hand was warm and solid against your shoulder, his thumb brushing soft, soothing circles that calmed the trembling in your hands. "You should’ve called us," Remus murmured, his voice a whisper of regret. "We would’ve come running."
A silence settled, broken only by the soft crackle of the fire. Then Regulus leaned back, a slow grin spreading across his lips, wicked and proud. "Didn’t know you had it in you," he remarked, his voice tinged with admiration. His hand lingered against your knee, fingertips just brushing the edge of your robe.
Remus chuckled beside you, his eyes shining with something like pride. 
"Merlin, neither did I. Taking down a bloke twice your size with a bloody statue?" He shook his head, still grinning. "You’re full of surprises, love."
You rolled your eyes, though warmth fluttered in your chest, spreading out to your fingertips. "I’m not proud of it," you mumbled, though the hint of a smile betrayed you.
"I am," Regulus replied smoothly, his hand sliding from your knee to intertwine with your fingers, his grip firm and unyielding. "Saves me the trouble."
You laughed, soft and unguarded, and the sound seemed to spark something in both of them. Remus’s hand drifted from your shoulder to the back of your neck, thumb brushing light circles against your skin as he leaned closer, his voice dropping to a tender whisper. "Let us fuss, just for tonight?"
You wanted to argue—you always did—but the softness in his eyes and the steady presence of Regulus beside you unraveled whatever stubbornness you had left. 
You nodded, and Remus smiled, warm and genuine, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Good," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. "Because we’re not going anywhere."
Regulus shifted, reaching over to pull the thick, knitted blanket from the back of the couch, draping it carefully over your legs. His fingers brushed yours, lingering just a moment longer than necessary, but you didn’t mind. "Get comfortable," he murmured, his voice low and soft. 
 You were tucked snugly between Regulus and Remus on the couch, the blanket pooled over your legs, their warmth radiating into you like a heartbeat. Remus’s arm rested behind you, fingers brushing through your hair in slow, rhythmic strokes, while Regulus’s hand stayed firm against your knee, grounding you. 
You felt safe, cocooned between them, the weight of the day dissolving with each passing second. For once, you didn’t feel like you had to carry it all on your own. For once, you were held.
Regulus had draped his arm along the back of the couch, fingers idly playing with strands of your hair, twisting them around his fingertips with gentle, rhythmic motions. You could feel the weight of his gaze on you, his thumb brushing against your shoulder every now and then, almost unconsciously.
“You know,” Remus started, his voice soft and familiar, “it’s alright to have a bad day.” He sat cross-legged on the floor in front of you, a steaming mug of tea held carefully in his hands. His hair fell into his eyes as he leaned forward, offering it to you. “Peppermint. Good for calming nerves.”
You took it gratefully, the warmth seeping into your palms. “I didn’t think anyone saw me fall apart,” you admitted, voice barely above a whisper.
“We always see you.” Remus’s voice was gentle, eyes crinkling with that soft sort of understanding that only he seemed capable of. “Even when you don’t want us to.” His hand found yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in slow, steady circles. His touch was so tender, so soothing that it almost made you forget the ache in your ribs.
Regulus hummed in agreement, his hand slipping from your hair to rest gently on your shoulder. “You’re allowed to have days like this. Merlin knows we do.” 
His tone was matter-of-fact, but the sincerity underneath it made your chest tighten just a little. His other hand moved to rest on your knee, squeezing it lightly as if to anchor you.
Remus shifted closer, his knee brushing against yours as he pulled a small bar of chocolate from his pocket with a grin. “Can’t have tea without chocolate. It’s practically a crime.”
You laughed softly as he unwrapped it, breaking off a piece and holding it out to you. His fingers brushed yours as you took it, and you couldn’t help but smile at the easy way he just…knew. Knew how to comfort, knew how to make things feel a little lighter. 
You popped the chocolate into your mouth, the taste melting sweet and familiar on your tongue.
“There we go,” Remus said, voice low and approving. “See? It’s already getting better.” His hand moved to rest on your thigh, his warmth radiating through your robes.
Regulus snorted, arching a brow. “Chocolate and tea. That’s your solution to everything, Lupin?”
“It’s never failed me before,” Remus shot back easily, shrugging as he offered you another piece. His gaze flickered back to yours. “Besides, she looks happier.”
“I suppose that’s true,” Regulus murmured, his fingers finding their way back to your hair, combing through the strands slowly. His touch was softer now, almost absentminded, but it soothed the ache that still lingered in your ribs. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “You don’t have to hold it all in, you know.”
You blinked up at him, surprised by the gentleness in his voice. Regulus’s eyes were fixed on yours, dark and unwavering. “Not with us.”
Remus, not to be outdone, leaned forward and kissed your forehead, his lips lingering just a bit longer than necessary. “Never with us,” he added softly. His hand slid up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away an invisible tear.
The fire crackled between the silence, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. The truth of it settled heavy in your chest, but it was warming too—like the tea still clutched between your hands, like the chocolate that Remus kept slipping into your palm, like Regulus’s fingers still tangled in your hair. 
They were there. They were always there.
“Thank you,” you whispered, voice cracking just a little.
“You don’t have to thank us,” Remus replied, leaning his head against your knee, his eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment. “That’s what we’re here for.”
“To ply me with sweets and tea until I’m half asleep?” you teased, a hint of your usual spark returning.
Regulus grinned, leaning in just enough for his shoulder to brush yours. “If that’s what it takes.” His voice was a whisper against your skin, a promise wrapped in silk.
Remus’s laugh was soft and genuine. He tilted his head back, looking up at you with those warm, amber eyes. “You’d better get used to it. We’re not going anywhere.”
The words settled like a promise. Solid. Unyielding. And for the first time that day, the tension in your chest began to unravel, thread by fragile thread.
“Alright,” you murmured, letting yourself lean into the warmth of them. “I guess I can get used to that.”
Regulus’s fingers tangled a little tighter in your hair, and Remus reached up to brush a stray crumb of chocolate from your cheek, his touch lingering for just a moment longer than necessary.��
Then, to your surprise, Remus leaned over and pressed a kiss to Regulus’s cheek, soft and unhurried. Regulus turned slightly, their eyes meeting, and for a moment, the world seemed to pause. 
He cupped Remus’s face with a tenderness you had never seen before and kissed him—slow and deep, like something sacred. When they pulled apart, Remus rested his forehead against Regulus’s, eyes fluttering closed with a soft sigh.
When they finally broke apart, Remus’s gaze drifted back to you, cheeks flushed but eyes bright. “You’re stuck with us now,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
You couldn’t help but smile, warmth unfurling in your chest. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”That night, cradled in warmth and love, with the rain tapping softly against the window and gentle hands anchoring you in place, you knew you were exactly where you belonged.
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